IT may please your good Lordship : I cannot be ignorant , and ought to be sensible of the wrong which I sustaine in common speech , as if I had bene false , or vnthankfull to that noble but vnfortunate Earle the Earle of Essex : And for satisfying the vulgar sort , I do not so much regard it ; though I loue good name , but yet as an handmaid and attendant of honestie and vertue . For I am of his opinion that said pleasantly , That it was a shame to him that was a suter to the Mistresse , to make loue to the wayting woman ; and therefore to woo or court common fame otherwise then it followeth vpon honest courses , I for my part , finde not my selfe fit nor disposed . But on the other side , there is no worldly thing that concerneth my selfe , which I hold more deare , then the good opinion of certaine persons ; amongst which there is none I would more willingly giue satisfaction vnto , then to your Lordship . First , because you loued my Lord of Essex , and therefore will not be partiall towards me ; which is part of that I desire : next , because it hath euer pleased you to shew your selfe to me an honorable friend ; and so no basenesse in me to seeke to satisfie you : and lastly , because I know your Lordship is excellently grounded in the true rules and habits of duties and moralities ; which must be they which shal decide this matter : wherin ( my Lord ) my defence needeth to be but simple and briefe : namely , that whatsoeuer I did concerning that action and proceeding , was done in my dutie and seruice to the Queene and the State ; in which I would not shew my selfe false hearted nor faint hearted for anie mans sake liuing . For euerie honest man , that hath his heart well planted , will forsake his King rather then forsake God , and forsake his friend rather then forsake his King ; and yet will forsake any earthly commoditie , yea and his owne life in some cases , rather then forsake his friend . I hope the world hath not forgotten these degrees , else the heathen saying : Amicus vsque ad ar as , shal iudge them . And if anie man shall say , that I did officiously intrude my selfe into that businesse , because I had no ordinary place ; the like may be said of all the businesse in effect that passed the hands of the learned counsell , either of State or Reuenues these manie yeares , wherein I was continually vsed . For , as your Lordship may remember , the Queene knewe her strength so well , as she looked her word should be a warrant ; and after the manner of the choisest Princes before her , did not alwayes tye her trust to place , but did sometime deuide priuate fauor from office . And I for my part , though I was not so vnseene in the world , but I knewe the condition was subiect to enuie and perill ; yet because I knew againe she was constant in her fauours , and made an end where she began , and specially , because she vpheld me with extraordinarie accesse , and other demonstrations of confidence and grace , I resolued to endure it in expectation of better . But my scope & desire is , that your Lordship wold be pleased to haue the honourable patience , to know the truth in some particularitie of all that passed in this cause wherein I had any part , that you may perceiue howe honest a heart I euer bare to my Soueraigne and to my Countrey , & to that Noble man , who had so well deserued of me , and so well accepted of my deseruings ; whose fortune I cannot remember without much griefe . But for anie action of mine towards him , there is nothing that passed me in my life time , that cometh to my remembrance with more clearnesse and lesse checke of conscience : for it wil appeare to your Lordship , that I was not onely not opposite to my Lord of Essex , but that I did occupy the vtmost of my wits , and aduenture my fortune with the Queene to haue reintegrated his , and so continued faithfully and industriously till his last fatall impatience , ( for so I wil call it ) after which day there was not time to worke for him , though the same my affection when it could not worke vpon the subiect proper , went to the next , with no ill effect towards some others , who I thinke do rather not know it , then not acknowledge it . And this I will assure your Lordship , I will leaue nothing vntold that is truth , for anie enemie that I haue to adde ; & on the other side , I must reserue much which makes for me , vpon manie respects of dutie , which I esteeme aboue my credite : and what I haue here set downe to your Lordship , I protest , as I hope to haue any part in Gods fauour , is true .

It is wel knowne , how I did many yeares since dedicate my trauels and studies to the vse & ( as I may terme it ) seruice of my Lord of Essex , which , I protest before God , I did not , making election of him as the likeliest meane of mine owne aduancement , but out of the humor of a man , that euer , from the time I had anie vse of reason , ( whether it were reáding vpon good bookes , or vpon the example of a good father , or by nature ) I loued my countrey more then was answerable to my fortune , and I held at that time , my Lord to be the fittest instrument to do good to the State : and therefore I applied my selfe to him , in a manner which I thinke happeneth rarely amongst men : for I did not only labour carefully and industriously in that he set me about , whether it were matter of aduice or otherwise , but neglecting the Queenes seruice , mine owne fortune , and in a sort my vocation , I did nothing but deuise and ruminate with my selfe to the best of my vnderstanding , propositions & memorials , of any thing that might concerne his Lordships honor , fortune or seruice . And when not long after I entred into this course , my brother Maister Anthony Bacon came from beyond the seas , being a Gentleman whose abilitie the world taketh knowledge of for matters of State , specially forreine ; I did likewise knit his seruice to be at my Lords disposing . And on the other side , I must & will euer acknowledge my Lords loue , trust , and fauour towards me ; last of all his liberalitie , hauing infeoffed me of land which I sold for eighteene hundred pounds to Maister Reynold Nicholas , and I thinke was more worth , and that at such a time , and with so kinde and noble circumstances , as the maner was as much as the matter : which though it be but an idle digression , yet because I am not willing to be short in commemoration of his benefites , I will presume to trouble your Lordship with the relating to you the maner of it . After the Queene had denied me the Sollicitors place , for the which his Lordship had bene a long and earnest sutor on my behalfe , it pleased him to come to me from Richmond to Twicknam Parke , and brake with me & said : Maister Bacon , the Queene hath denied me yon place for you , and hath placed another ; I know you are the least part of your owne matter , but , you fare ill because you haue chosen mee for your meane and dependance : you haue spent your time and thoughts in my matters , I die ( these were his verie words ) If I do not somewhat towards your fortune : you shall not denie to accept a peece of Land , which I will bestow vpon you . My answer I remember was , that for my fortune it was no great matter : but , that , his Lordships offer made me call to minde what was wont to be said when I was in Fraunce of the Duke of Guise , that he was the greatest vsurer in Fraunce , because he had turned all his estate into Obligations ; meaning that he hast left him selfe nothing , but onely had bound numbers of persons to him . Now my Lord ( said I ) I would not haue you imitate his course , nor turne your state thus by great giftes into obligations , for you will find many bad debters : he bad me take no care for that , and pressed it ; wherupon I said , My Lord , I see I must be your homager , and hold land of your gift : but do you know the maner of doing homage in law ? alwaies it is with a sauing of his faith to the King and his other Lords , and therefore my Lord ( said I ) I can be no more yours then I was , and it must be with the auncient sauings : and if I grow to be a rich man , you will giue me leaue to giue it back to some of your vnrewarded followers . But to returne , sure I am ( though I can arrogate nothing to my selfe , but that I was a faithfull remembrancer to his Lordship ) that while I had most credit with him , his fortune went on best . And yet in two maine points we alwaies directly & contradictorily differed , which I wil mention to your Lordship , because it giueth light to all that followed . The one was , I euer set this downe , that the onely course to be held with the Queene , was by obsequiousnesse and obseruance ; and I remember I would vsually gage confidently , that if he would take that course constantly , and with choice of good particulars to expresse it , the Queene would be brought in time to Assuerus question , to aske , What should be done to the man , that the King wold honour : meaning , that her goodnesse was without limite , where there was a true concurrence , which I knew in her nature to be true . My Lord on the other side had a setled opinion , that the Queene could be brought to nothing , but by a kind of necessitie and authority ; and I well remember , when by violent courses at any time he had got his will , he wold aske me : Now Sir , whose principles be true ? and I would againe say to him : My Lord , these courses be like to hote waters , they will helpe at a pang : but if you vse them , you shall spoile the stomacke , and you shall be faine still to make them stronger and stronger , and yet in the end they will lesse their operation : with much other varietie , wherewith I vsed to touch that string . Another point was , táhat I alwaies vehemently disswaded him from seeking greatnes by a militarie dependance , or by a popular dependance , as that which would breed in the Queene iealousie , in himselfe presumption , and in the State perturbation : and I did vsually compare them to Icarus two wings which were ioyned on with waxe , and would make him venture to soare too high , and then faile him at the height . And I would further say vnto him : My Lord , stand vpon two feet , and flie not vpon two wings . The two feete , are the two kinds of Iustice , Commutatiue and Distributiue : vse your greatnesse for aduancing of merit and vertue , and releeuing wrongs and burdens , you shall need no other art or finenesse : but he would tell me , that opinion came not from my mind , but from my robe . But it is very true , that I that neuer meant to inthral my selfe to my Lord of Essex , nor any other man , more than stood with the publike good , did ( though I could little preuaile ) diuert him by all means possible from courses of the warres and popularitie : for I saw plainely the Queene must either liue or die ; if she liued , then the times would be as in the declination of an old Prince ; if she died , the times would be as in the beginning of a new : and that if his Lordship did rise too fast in these courses , the times might be dangerous for him , and he for them . Nay , I remember I was thus plaine with him vpon his voyage to the Ilands , when I saw euery spring put foorth such actions of charge and prouocation , that I said to him : My Lord , when I came first vnto you , I tooke you for a Phisition that desired to cure the diseases of the State ; but now I doubt you will be like those Phisitions , which can be content to keepe their patients low , because they would alwaies be in request : which plaineresse he neuerthelesse tooke very well , as he had an excellent care , and was patientissimus veri , and assured me the case of the Realme required it : and I thinke this speech of mine , and the like renewed afterwards , pricked him to write that Apologie which is in many mens hands .

But this difference in two points so maine and materiall , bred in processe of time a discontinuance of priuatenesse ( as it is the manner of men seldom to communicate where they thinke their courses not approued ) betweene his Lordship and my selfe ; so as I was not called nor aduised with , for some yeare and a halfe before his Lordships going into Ireland as in former time : yet neuerthelesse touching his going into Ireland , it pleased him expresly and in a set manner to desire mine opinion and counsell . At which time I did not onely disswade , but protest against his going , telling him with as much vehemencie and asseueration as I could , that absence in that kind would exulcerate the Queens mind , whereby it would not be possible for him to carrie himselfe so , as to giue her sufficient contentment : nor for her to carie her selfe so , as to giue him sufficient countenance , which would be ill for her , ill for him , and ill for the State . And because I wold omit no argument , I remember I stood also vpon the difficultie of the action : setting before him out of Histories , that the Irish was such an enemie as the ancient Gaules , or Britons , or Germaines were , and that we saw how the Romans , who had such discipline to gouerne their soldiers , and such donatiues to encourage them , and the whole world in a maner to leauie them ; yet when they came to deale with enemies which placed their felicitie onely in libertie , and the sharpnesse of their sword , and had the naturall and elementall aduantages of woods , and bogges , and hardnesse of bodies , they euer found they had their hands full of them : and therefore concluded , that going ouer with such expectation as he did , and through the curlishnesse of the enterprise not like to answer it , would mightily diminish his reputation ; and many other reasons I vsed , so as I am sure I neuer in any thing in my life time dealt with him in like earnestnes by speech , by writing , and by all the meanes I could deuise . For I did as plainely see his ouerthrow chained as it were by destinie to that iourney , as it is possible for any man to ground a iudgment vpon future contingents : But my Lord , howsoeuer his eare was open , yet his heart and resolution was shut against that aduice , whereby his ruine might haue bin preuented . After my Lords going , I saw how true a Prophet I was , in regard of the euident alteration which naturally succeeded in the Queens mind ; and thereupon I was stil in watch to find the best occasion that in the weakenesse of my power I could either take or minister , to pull him out of the fire if it had bene possible : and not long after , me thought I saw some ouerture thereof , which I apprehended readily ; a particularitie I thinke be knowne to very few , and the which I do the rather relate to your Lordship , because I heare it shold be talked , that while my Lord was in Ireland , I reuealed some matter against him or I cannot tel what , which if it were not a meere slaunder as the rest is , but had any though neuer so litle colour , was surely vpon this occasion . The Queene one day at Nonesuch , a litle ( as I remember ) before Cuffes coming ouer , I attending her , shewed a passionate distast of my lords proceedings in Ireland , as if they were vnfortunate , without iudgement , contemptuous , and not without some priuate end of his owne ; and all that might be , and was pleased as she spake of it to many that she trusted least , so to fall into the like speech with me ; whereupon I who was still awake , and true to my grounds which I thought surest for my Lords good , said to this effect : Madame , I know not the particulars of Estate , and I know this , that Princes actions must haue no abrupt periods or conclusions , but otherwise I would thinke , that if you had my Lord of Essex here with a white staffe in his hand , as my Lord of Leicester had , and continued him still about you for societie to your selfe , and for an honour and ornament to your attendance and Court in the eyes of your people , and in the eyes of forreine Embassadours , then were he in his right element : for , to discontent him as you do , and yet to put armes and power into his hands , may be a kind of temptation to make him proue cumbersome and vnruly . And therefore if you would imponere bonam clausulam , and send for him and satisfie him with honour here neare you , if your affaires which ( as I haue said ) I am not acquainted with , wil permit it , I thinke were the best way . Which course your Lordship knoweth , if it had bene taken , then all had bene well , and no contempt in my Lords comming ouer , nor continuance of these iealousies , which that employment of Ireland bred , and my Lord here in his former greatnesse . Wel , the next newes that I heard , was , that my Lord was come ouer , and that he was committed to his chamber for leauing Ireland without the Queenes licence : this was at Nonesuch , where ( as my duty was ) I came to his Lordship and talked with him priuately about a quarter of an houre , and he asked mine opinion of the course was taken with him ; I told him : My Lord , Nubecula est , citò transibit : it is but a mist : but shall I tell your Lordship , it is as mists are , if it go vpwards , it may haps cause a shower , if downewards , it will cleare vp . And therefore good my Lord carie it so , as you take away by all meanes all ombrages and distasts from the Queene , and specially if I were worthie to aduise you , ( as I haue bene by your self thought , and now your question imports the continuance of that opinion ) obserue three points : First , make not this cessation or peace which is concluded with Tyrone , as a seruice wherein you glorie , but as a shuffling vp of a prosecution which was not very fortunate . Next , represent not to the Queene any necessitie of estate , whereby as by a coercion or wrench , she should think her selfe inforced to send you back into Ireland , but leaue it to her . Thirdly , seeke accesse , importunè , oportunè , seriously , sportingly euery way . I remember my Lord was willing to heare me , but spake very few words , & shaked his head sometimes , as if he thought I was in the wrong ; but sure I am , he did iust contrary in euery one of these three points . After this , during the while since my Lord was committed to my Lord Keepers , I came diuers times to the Queene , as I had vsed to do , about causes of her reuenue and law businesse , as is well knowne : by reason of which accesses , according to the ordinarie charities of Court , it was giuen out , that I was one of them that incensed the Queene against my Lord of Essex . These speeches I cannot tel , nor I wil not thinke that they grew any way from her Maiesties owne speeches , whose memory I wil euer honour : if they did , she is with God , and miserum est ab illis ledi , de quibus non possis quaeri . But I must giue this testimonie to my Lord Cecill , thát one time in his house at the Sauoy he dealt with me directly , and said to me ; Cousin , I heare it , but I beleeue it not , that you should do some ill office to my Lord of Essex : for my part I am meerely passiue and not actiue in this action , and I follow the Queene and that heauily , and I leaue her not ; my Lord of Essex is one that in nature I could consent with as well as with any one liuing ; the Queen indeed is my Soueraigne , and I am her creature , I may not leese her , and the same course I wold wish you to take : whereupon I satisfied him how farre I was from any such mind . And as sometimes it cometh to passe , that mens inclinations are opened more in a toy , then in a serious matter : A little before that time , being about the middle of Michaelmas terme , her Maiestie had a purpose to dine at my lodge at Twicknam Parke , at which time I had ( though I professe not to be a Poet ) prepared a Sonnet directly tending and alluding to draw on her Maiesties reconcilement to my Lord , which I remember also I shewed to a great person , & one of my Lords nearest friends , who commended it : this though it be ( as I said ) but a toy , yet it shewed plainely in what spirit I proceeded , and that I was ready not onely to do my Lord good offices , but to publish and declare my selfe for him ; and neuer was I so ambitious of any thing in my life time , as I was to haue caried some token or fauour from her Maiestie to my Lord , vsing all the art I had both to procure her Maiestie to send , and my selfe to be the messenger : for as to the former , I feared not to alleage to her , that this proceeding towards my Lord , was a thing towards the people verie implausible , and therefore wished her Maiestie howsoeuer she did , yet to discharge her selfe of it ; and to lay it vpon others , and therefore that she should intermixe her proceeding with some immediate graces from her selfe , that the world might take knowledge of her Princely nature and goodnesse , lest it should alienate the hearts of her people from her . Which I did stand vpon , knowing very well , that if she once relented to send or visite , those demonstrations wold proue matter of substance for my Lords good . And to draw that employment vpon my selfe , I aduised her Maiestie , that whensoeuer God should moue her to turne the light of her fauour toward my Lord , to make signification to him thereof : that her Maiestie if she did it not in person , would at the least vse some such meane as might not intitle themselues to any part of the thanks , as persons that were thought mightie with her , to worke her , or to bring her about ; but to vse some such as could not be thought but a meere conduct of her owne goodnesse : but I could neuer preuaile with her , though I am perswaded she saw plainely whereat I leuelled : but she had me in iealousie , that I was not hers intirely , but still had inward and deepe respects towards my Lord , more then stood at that time with her will and pleasure . About the same time I remember an answer of mine in a matter which had some affinitie with my Lords cause , which though it grew from me , went after about in others names . For her Maiesty being mightily incensed with that booke which was dedicated to my Lord of Essex , being a storie of the first yeare of king Henry the fourth , thinking it a seditious prelude to put into the peoples heads boldnesse and faction , said she had good opinion that there was treason in it , and asked me if I could not find any places in it , that might be drawne within case of treason : whereto I answered ; for treason surely I found none , but for fellonie very many . And when her Maiestie hastily asked me wherein ; I told her , the Author had committed very apparant theft , for he had taken most of the sentences of Cornelius Tacitus , and translated them into English , and put them into his text . And another time when the Queene would not be perswaded , that it was his writing whose name was to it , but that it had some more mischieuous Author , and said with great indignation , that she would haue him racked to produce his Author , I replyed , Nay Madame , he is a Doctor , neuer racke his person , but racke his stile ; let him haue pen , inke , and paper , and helpe of bookes , and be enioyned to continue the storie where it breaketh off , and I will vndertake by collecting the stiles , to iudge whether he were the Author or no. But for the maine matter , sure I am , when the Queene at any time asked mine opinion of my Lords case , I euer in one tenor , said vnto her : that they were faults which the Law might tearme Contempts , because they were the transgression of her particular directions and instructions : but then what defence might be made of them , in regard of the great interest the person had in her Maiesties fauour , in regard of the greatnesse of his place , and the amplenesse of his Commission ; in regard of the nature of the businesse being action of warre , which in common cases cannot be tyed to strictnesse of instructions , in regard of the distance of the place , hauing also a sea betweene that demaunds and commands , must be subiect to wind and weather ; in regard of a counsell of State in Ireland which he had at his backe to auow his actions vpon , and lastly in regard of a good intention that he would alleadge for himselfe , which I told her in some religions was held to be a sufficient dispensation for Gods commaundements , much more for Princes . In all these regards , I besought her Maiestie to be aduised againe and again , how she brought the cause into any publike question : nay , I went further , for I told her , my Lord was an eloquent and well spoken man , and besides his eloquence of nature or art , he had an eloquence of accident which passed them both , which was the pittie and beneuolence of his hearers ; and therefore that when he should come to his answer for himselfe , I doubted his words would haue so vnequall passage aboue theirs that should charge him , as would not be for her Maiesties honour ; and therefore wished the conclusion might be , that they might wrap it vp priuatly betweene themselues , and that she would restore my Lord to his former attendance , with some addition of honour to take away discontent . But this I will neuer deny , that I did shew no approbation generally of his being sent back againe into Ireland , both because it would haue caried a repugnancie with my former discourse , and because I was in mine owne heart fully perswaded , that it was not good neither for the Queene , nor for the State , nor for himselfe : and yet I did not disswade it neither , but left it euer as locus lubricus . For this particularitie I do well remember , that after your Lordship was named for the place in Ireland , and not long before your going , it pleased her Maiestie at White hall to speake to me of that nomination : at which time I said to her , Surely Madame , if you meane not to employ my Lord of Essex thither againe , your Maiestie cannot make a better choice , and was going on to shew some reason ; and her Maiestie interrupted me with great passion : Essex ! ( said she ) whensoeuer I send Essex backe again into Ireland , I will marrie you , claime it of me : wherunto I said , Well Madame , I will release that contract if his going be for the good of your State . Immediatly after the Queene had thought of a course ( which was also executed ) to haue somewhat published in the Starre-chamber , for the satisfaction of the world touching my Lord of Essex his restraint , and my Lord of Essex not to be called to it , but occasion to be taken by reason of some Libels then dispersed ; which when her Maiestie propounded vnto me , I was vtterly against it ; and told her plainely , that the people would say , that my Lord was wounded vpon his backe , and that Iustice had her ballance taken from her , which euer consisted of an accusation and defence , with many other quicke and significant tearms to that purpose : in so much that I remember I said , that my Lord in foro famae was too hard for her ; and therefore wished her as I had done before , to wrap it vp priuatly . And certainely I offended her at that time , which was rare with me : for I cal to mind that both the Christmas , Lent , and Easter Terme following , though I came diuers times to her vpon Law busines , yet me thought her face and maner was not so cleare and open to me , as it was at the first . And she did directly charge me , that I was absent that day at the Starre-chamber , which was very true ; but I alleaged some indisposition of bodie to excuse it : and during all the time aforesaid , there was altum silentium from her to me touching my Lord of Essex causes .

But towardes the end of Easter tearme , her Maiestie brake with me , and told me that she had found my words true , for that the proceeding in the Starre-chamber had done no good , but rather kindled factious bruites ( as she termed them ) then quenched them , and therefore that she was determined now for the satisfaction of the world , to proceed against my Lord in the Star-chamber by an information ore tenus , and to haue my lord brought to his answer : howbeit she said she wold assure me , that whatsoeuer the did , should be towards my Lord ad castigationem , & non ad destructionem , as indeed she had often repeated the same phrase before : whereunto I said ( to the end vtterly to diuert her : ) Madam if you will haue me speake to you in this argument , I must speake to you as Frier Bacons head spake , that said first , Time is , and then , Time was , and time would neuer be ; for certainly ( said I ) it is now far too late , the matter is cold and hath taken too much winde ; whereat she seemed againe offended and rose from me , and that resolution for a while continued ; and after , in the beginning of Midsomer terme , I attending her , and finding her setled in that resolution ( which I heard of also otherwise ) she falling vpon the like speech , it is true , that seeing no other remedie , I said to her slightly , Why Madame , if you will needs haue a proceeding , you were best haue it in some such sort as Ouid spake of his mistris , Est aliquid luce patente minus , to make a counseltable matter of it , and there an end ; which speech againe she seemed to take in il part , but yet I thinke it did good at that time , and holpe to diuert that course of proceeding by information in the Starre-chamber . Neuertheles afterwards it pleased her to make a more solemne matter of the proceeding ; and some few dayes after when order was giuen that the matter shold be heard at York house , before an assembly of Counsellers , Peeres , and Iudges , and some audience of men of qualitie to be admitted , and then did some principal Counsellers send for vs of the learned Counsell , and notifie her Maiesties pleasure vnto vs , saue that it was said to me openly by one of them , that her Maiesty was not yet resolued whether she would haue me forborne in the busines or no. And hereupon might arise that other sinister and vntrue speech that I heare is raised of me , how I was a suter to bee vsed against my Lord of Essex at that time : for it is very true , that I that knew well what had passed betweene the Queen and me , and what occasion I had giuen her both of distast & distrust , in crossing her disposition , by standing stedfastly for my Lord of Essex , & suspecting it also to be a stratageme arising from some particular emulation , I writ to her two or three words of complement , signifying to her Maiestie , that if she would be pleased to spare me in my Lord of Essex cause , out of the consideration she tooke of my obligation towards him , I should reckon it for one of her highest fauors ; but otherwise desiring her Maiestie to thinke that I knew the degrees of duties , and that no particular obligation whatsoeuer to any subiect could supplant or weaken that entirenes of dutie that I did owe and beare to her and her seruice ; & this was the goodly sute I made , being a respect no man that had his wittes could haue omitted : but neuerthelesse I had a further reach in it , for I iudged that dayes worke would be a full period of any bitternesse or harshnes betweene the Queene and my Lord , and therefore if I declared my selfe fully according to her mind at that time , which could not do my Lord any manner of preiudice , I should keepe my credit with her euer after , whereby to doe my Lord seruice . Hereupon the next news that I heard , was , that we were all sent for againe , and that her Maiesties pleasure was , we all should haue parts in the businesse ; and the Lords falling into distribution of our parts , it was allotted to me , that I should set foorth some vndutifull cariage of my Lord , in giuing occasion and countenance to a seditious Pamphlet , as it was tearmed , which was dedicated vnto him , which was the booke before mentioned of king Henry the fourth . Whereupon I replyed to that allotment , and said to their Lordships , that it was an old matter , and had no maner of coherence with the rest of the charge , being matters of Ireland , and therefore that I hauing bene wronged by bruites before , this wold expose me to them more ; and it would be said , I gaue in euidence mine owne tales . It was answered againe with good shew , that because it was considered how I stood tyed to my Lord of Essex , therefore that part was thought fittest for me which did him least hurt : for that wheras all the rest was matter of charge and accusation , this onely was but matter of caueat and admonition . Wherewith though I was in mine owne mind litle satisfied , because I knew wel a man were better to be charged with some faults , then admonished of some others : yet the conclusion binding vpon the Queenes pleasure directly , volens nolens , I could not auoide that part that was laid vpon me ; which part if in the deliuerie I did handle not tenderly , ( though no man before me did in so cleare tearmes free my Lord from al disloyaltie as I did ) that , your Lordship knoweth , must be ascribed to the superior dutie I did owe to the Queenes fame and and honor in a publike proceeding , and partly to the intention I had to vphold my self in credit & strength with the Queene , the better to be able to do my Lord good offices afterwards : for assoone as this day was past , I lost no time , but the very next day following ( as I remember ) I attended her Maiesty , fully resolued to try and put in vre my vtmost indeuour , so farre as I in my weaknesse could giue furtherance to bring my Lord againe speedily into Court & into fauour , and knowing ( as I supposed at least ) how the Queene was to be vsed , I thought that to make her conceiue that the matter went well then , was the way to make her leaue off there ; and I remember wel , I said to her , you haue now Madame obtained victorie ouer two things which the greatest Princes in the world cannot at their wils subdue : the one is ouer Fame , the other is ouer a great mind : for surely the world be now I hope reasonably well satisfied ; and for my Lord , he did shew that humiliation towards your Maiestie , as I am perswaded he was neuer in his life time more fit for your fauor then he is now : therfore if your Maiestie will not marre it by lingring , but giue ouer at the best , and now you haue made so good a full point , receiue him againe with tendernesse , I shall then thinke that all that is past is for the best . Wherat I remember she took exceeding great contentment , and did often iterate and put me in mind , that she had euer said , that her proceedings should be ad reparationem , and not ad ruinam , as who saith , that now was the time I should well perceiue , that that saying of hers should proue true . And further she willed me to set downe in writing all that passed that day . I obeyed her commandement , and within some fewe daies brought her againe the narration , which I did reade vnto her at two seuerall after-noones : and when I came to that part that set foorth my Lords owne answer , ( which was my principall care ) I do well beare in mind , that she was extraordinarily mooued with it , in kindnesse and relenting towards my Lord , and told me afterwards ( speaking how well I had expressed my Lords part ) that she perceiued old loue would not easily be forgotten : wherto I answered suddenly , that I hoped she meant that by her selfe . But in conclusion , I did aduise her that now she had taken a representation of the matter to her selfe , that she would let it go no further : for Madame ( said I ) the fire blazeth well alreadie , what should you tumble it : and besides it may please you keepe a conuenience with your selfe in this case : for since your expresse direction was , there should be no Register nor Clearke to take this sentence , nor no record or memoriall made vp of the proceeding , why should you now do that popularly , which you would not admit to be done iudicially ? Whereupon she did agree , that that writing should be suppressed , and I thinke there were not fiue persons that euer saw it . But from this time foorth during the whole latter end of that Sommer , while the Court was at Nonsuch and Otlands , I made it my taske and scope to take and giue occasions for my Lords reintegration in his fortune : which my intention I did also signifie to my Lord assoone as euer he was at his libertie ; whereby I might without perill of the Queenes indignation write to him , and hauing receiued from his Lordship a courteous and louing acceptation of my good will and indeuours , I did apply it in all my accesses to the Queene , which were very many at that time , and purposely sought and wrought vppon other variable pretences , but onely and chiefly for that purpose . And on the other side , I did not forbeare to giue my Lord from time to time faithfull aduertisement what I found , and what I wished . And I drew for him by his appointment some letters to her Maiestie , which though I knew well his Lordships gift and stile was farre better then mine owne , yet because he required it , alleaging that by his long restraint he was growne almost a stranger to the Queens present conceipts , I was readie to performe it : and sure I am that for the space of sixe weekes , or two moneths it prospered so well , as I expected continually his restoring to his attendance . And I was neuer better welcome to the Queene , nor more made of , then when I spake fullest and boldest for him : in which kind the particulars were exceeding many , whereof for an example I wil remember to your Lordship one or two ; as at one time I cal to mind , her Maiestie was speaking of a fellow that vndertook to cure , or at least to ease my brother of his goute , and asked me how it went forwards ; and I told her Maiestie , that at the first he receiued good by it , but after in the course of his cure he found himselfe it a stay or rather worse : the Queene said againe , I will tell you Bacon the error of it , the maner of these Phisitions and especially these Empericks is to continue one kind of medicine , which at the first is proper , being to draw out the ill humor , but after they haue not the discretion to chaunge their medicine , but apply still drawing medicines , when they shold rather intend to cure and corroborate the part . Good Lord Madame ( said I ) how wisely and aptly can you speake and discerne of Phisicke ministred to the bodie , and consider not that there is the like occasion of Phisicke ministred to the mind : as now in the case of my Lord of Essex , your Princely word euer was , that you intended euer to reforme his mind , and not ruine his fortune : I know well you cannot but think that you haue drawne the humor sufficiently , and therefore it were more then time , and it were but for doubt of mortifying or exulcerating , that you did apply and minister strength and comfort vnto him : for these same gradations of yours are fitter to corrupt then correct any mind of greatnesse . And an other time I remember she told me for newes , that my Lord had written vnto her some very dutifull letters , and that she had bene moued by them , and when she tooke it to be the abundance of the heart , she found it to be but a preparatiue to a sute for the renewing of his farme of Sweet wines : whereunto I replyed ; O Madame , how doth your Maiestie conster of these things , as if these two could not stand well together , which indeed nature hath planted in all creatures . For there are but two sympathies , the one towards Perfection , the other towards Preseruation . That to Perfection , as the iron contendeth to the Loadstone : that to Preseruation , as the vine will creepe towards a stake or prop that stands by it , not for any loue to the stake , but to vphold it selfe . And therefore Madame , you must distinguish my Lords desire to do you seruice , is as to his perfection , that which he thinkes himself to be born for : whereas his desire to obtaine this thing of you , is but for a sustentation . And not to trouble your Lordship with many other particulars like vnto these , it was at the selfe same time that I did draw with my Lords priuitie , and by his appointment , two letters , the one written as from my brother , the other as an answer returned from my Lord , both to be by me in secret maner shewed to the Queene , which it pleased my Lord very strangely to mention at the barre : the scope of which were but to represent and picture foorth vnto her Maiesty my Lords mind to be such , as I knew her Maiestie wold fainest haue had it , which letters whosoeuer shall see , ( for they cannot now be retracted or altered , being by reason of my brothers , or his Lordships seruants deliuerie , long since comen into diuerse hands ) let him iudge , specially if he knew the Queene , and do remember those times , whether they were not the labours of one that sought to bring the Queene about for my Lord of Essex his good . The troth is , that the issue of all his dealing grew to this , that the Queene by some flacknesse of my Lords , as I imagine , liked him worse and worse , and grew more incensed towards him . Then , she remembring belike the continuall , and incessant , and confident speeches and courses that I had held on my Lords side , became vtterly alienated from me , and for the space of at least three moneths , which was betweene Michaelmas and Newyears tide following , would not as much as looke on me , but turned away from me with expresse and purpose-like discountenance wheresoeuer she saw me : and at such time as I desired to speake with her about Law businesse , euer sent me forth very slight refusals ; insomuch as it is most true , that immediatly after Newyeares tide I desired to speake with her ; and being admitted to her , I dealt with her plainely and said : Madame I see you withdraw your fauor from me , and now I haue lost many friends for your sake I shall leese you too : you haue put me like one of those that the Frenchmen call Enfans perdus , that serue on foote before horsmen , so haue you put me into matters of enuie without place , or without strength : and I know at Chesse a pawn before the king , is euer much plaid vpon : a great many loue me not , because they thinke I haue bene against my Lord of Essex ; and you loue me not , because you know I haue bene for him : yet will I neuer repent me , that I haue dealt in simplicitie of heart towards you both , without respect of cautions to my selfe : and therefore viuus vidensque pereo . If I do breake my necke , I shall do it in manner as Maister Dorrington did it , which walked on the battlements of the Church many daies , and tooke a view and suruey where he should fall : and so Madame ( said I ) I am not so simple , but that I take a prospect of mine ouerthrow , only I thought I would tell you so much , that you may know that it was faith , and not folly that brought me into it , and so I will pray for you . Vpon which speeches of mine vttered with some passion , it is true her Maiestie was exceedingly moued , and accumulated a number of kind and gracious words vpon me , and willed me to rest vpon this , Gratia mea sufficit , and a number of other sensible and tender words and demonstrations , such as more could not be ; but as touching my Lord of Essex , ne verbum quidem . Wherupon I departed , resting then determined to meddle no more in the matter ; as that , that I saw would ouerthrowe me , and not be able to do him any good . And thus I made mine owne peace with mine owne confidence it that time ; and this was the last time I saw her Maiestie , before the eight of Februarie , which was the day of my Lord of Essex his misfortune . After which time , for that I performed at the barre in my publike seruice , your Lordship knoweth by the rules of dutie , that I was to do it honestly , and without preuarication : but for any putting my selfe into it , I protest before God , I neuer moued neither the Queene , nor any person liuing concerning my being vsed in the seruice , either of euidence or examination : but it was meerely laid vpon me with the rest of my fellowes . And for the time which passed , I meane betweene the arraignement and my Lords suffering , I well remember I was but once with the Queene ; at what time though I durst not deale directly for my Lord as things then stood ; yet generally I did both commend her Maiesties mercie , tearming it to her as an excellent balme that did continually distill from her Soueraigne hands , and made an excellent odour in the senses of her people : and not onely so , but I tooke hardinesse to extenuate , not the fact ; for that I durst not , but the danger , telling her that if some base or cruell minded persons had entred into such an action , it might haue caused much bloud and combustion : but it appeared well they were such as knew not how to play the malefactors , and some other words which I now omit . And as for the rest of the cariage of my selfe in that seruice , I haue many honorable witnesses that can tell , that the next day after my Lords arraignement , by my diligence and information touching the qualitie and nature of the offendors , sixe of nine were stayed , which otherwise had bene attainted , I bringing their Lordships letter for their stay , after the Iurie was sworne to passe vpon them : so neare it went , and how carefull I was , and made it my part , that whosoeuer was in trouble about that matter , assoone as euer his case was sufficiently knowne and defined of , might not continue in restraint , but be set at libertie : and many other parts , which I am well assured of stood with the dutie of an honest man . But indeed I will not deny for the case of Sir Thomas Smith of London , the Queene demaunding my opinion of it , I told her , I thought it was as hard as many of the rest : but what was the reason ? because at that time I had seene only his accusation , and had neuer bene present at any examination of his : and the matter so standing , I had bin very vntrue to my seruice , if I had not deliuered that opinion . But afterwards vpon a reexamination of some that charged him , who weakned their owne testimonie ; and especially hearing himselfe viua voce , I went instantly to the Queene out of the soundnesse of my conscience , and not regarding what opinion I had formerly deliuered , told her Maiestie , I was satisfied and resolued in my conscience , that for the reputation of the action , the plot was to countenance the action further by him in respect of his place , then they had indeed any interest or intelligence with him . It is very true also , about that time her Maiesty taking a liking of my pen , vpon that which I had done before concerning the proceeding at Yorke house , and likewise vpon some other declarations , which in former times by her appointment I put in writing , commaunded me to penne that booke , which was published for the better satisfaction of the world : which I did , but so , as neuer Secretarie had more particular and expresse directions , and instructions in euery point how to guide my hand in it : and not onely so , but after that I had made a first draught therof , and propounded it to certaine principall Councellers by her Maiesties appointment , it was perused , weighed , censured , altered , and made almost anew , writing according to their Lordshippes better consideration , wherein their Lordshippes and my selfe both were as religious and curious of truth , as desirous of satisfaction : and my selfe indeed gaue only words and forme of stile in pursuing their direction . And after it had passed their allowance , it was againe exactly perused by the Queen her selfe , and some alterations made againe by her appointment : nay , and after it was set to print , the Queene , who as your Lordshippe knoweth , as she was excellent in great matters , so she was exquisite in small : and noted that I could not forget my auncient respect to my Lord of Essex , in terming him euer My Lord of Essex , My Lord of Essex , in almost euery page of the booke , which she thought not fit , but would haue it made , Essex , or the late Earle of Essex : whereupon of force it was printed de none , and the first copies suppressed by her peremptorie commaundement . And this my good Lord , to my furthest remembrance , is all that passed , wherein I had part , which I haue set downe as neare as I could in the very words and speeches that were vsed , not because they are worthie the repetition , I mean those of mine owne ; but to the end your Lordship may liuely and plainly discerne betweene the face of truth , and a smooth tale . And the rather also because in things that passed a good while since , the very wordes and phrases did sometimes bring to my remembrance the matters , wherein I report me to your Honourable iudgement , whether you do not see the traces of an honest man : and had I bene as well beleeued either by the Queene or by my Lord , as I was well heard by them both , both my Lord had beene fortunate , and so had my selfe in his fortune .