Apophthegmes new and old. Collected by the Right Honourable, Francis Lo. Verulam, Viscount St. Alban

Apophthegmes new and old .

IVlius Caesar , did write a Collection of Apophthegmes , as appeares in an Epistle of Cicero . I need say no more , for the worth , of a Writing , of that nature . It is pitie his Booke is lost : for I imagine , they were collected , with Iudgement , and Choice : whereas that of Plutarch , and Stobaeus , and much more , the Moderne ones , draw much of the dregs . Certainly , they are of excellent vse . They are , Mucrones Verborum , Pointed Speeches . Cicero prettily cals them , Salinas , Salt pits ; that you may extract salt out of , and sprinkle it , where you will . They serue , to be interlaced , in continued Speech . They serue , to be recited , vpon occasion of themselues . They serue , if you take out the kernell of them , and make them your owne . I haue , for my recreation , in my sicknesse , fann'd the Old ; Not omitting any , because they are vulgar ; ( for many vulgar ones are excellent good ; ) Nor for the meannesse of the Person ; but because they are dull , and flat : And added many New , that otherwise would haue died .

1. WHEN Queene Elizabeth had aduanced Ralegh , she was one day playing on the virginalls , and my Lo. of Oxford , & another Noble-man , stood by . It fell out so , that the Ledge , before the Iacks , was taken away , so as the Iacks were seene : My Lo. of Oxford , and the other Noble-man smiled , and a little whispered : The Queene marked it , and would needes know , What the matter was ? My Lo. of Oxford answered ; That they smiled , to see , that when Iacks went vp , Heads went downe .

2. Henrie the fourth of France , his Queene was great with Childe . Count Soi●…ons , that had his expectation vpon the Crowne ; when it was twice or thrice thought , that the Queene was with Childe before , said to fome of his Frends ; That it was but with a pillow . This had some wayes come to the Kings eare , who kept it til when the Queen waxed great ; call'd the Count of Soissons to him , and said , laying his hand vpon the Queenes belly ; Come Cousin , it is no pillow . Yes , Sir , ( answered the Count of Soissons ) it is a pillow , for all France to sleepe vpon .

3. There was a conference in Parliament , betweene the Vpper House , & the Lower , about a Bill of Accountants , which came downe , from the Lords , to the Commons : which Bill prayed , that the Lands of Accountants , whereof they were seized , when they entred vpon their Office , mought bee liable to their Arreares , to the Queene . But the Commons desired , that the Bill mought not looke backe , to Accountants that were alreadie , but extend onely to Accountanes hereafter . But the Lo. Threasurer said : Why , I pray , if you had lost your purse , by the waie , would you looke forwards , or would you looke backe ? The Queene hath lost her purse .

4. Queene Elizabeth , the morrow of her Coronation , went to the Chappell ; and in the great chamber , Sir Iohn Rainsford , set on by wiser Men , ( A Knight that had the libertie of a Buffone ) besought the Queene aloud ; That now , this good time , when prisoners were deliuered , foure prisoners , amongst the rest , mought likewise haue their libertie , who were like enough , to bee kept still in hold . The Queene asked ; Who they were ? And hee said ; Matthew , Mark , Luke , & Iohn ; who had long beene imprisoned , in the Latine tongue ; and now he defired , they mought goe abroad , among the people , in English . The Queene answered , with a graue countenance ; It were good ( Rainsford ) they were spoken with themselues , to know of them , whether they would be set at libertie ?

5. The Lo. Keeper , Sir Nicholas Bacon , was asked his opinion , by Queene Elizabeth , of one of these Monopoly Licences ; And hee answered ; Will you haue me speake truth , Madame ? Licentiâ omnes deteriores sumus . Wee are all the worse for a Licence .

6. Pace , the bitter Foole , was not suffered to come at the Queene , because of his bitter humor . Yet at one time , some perswaded the Queene , that hee should come to her , vndertaking for him , that hee should keepe compasse . So hee was brought to her , and the Queene said ; Come on Pace , now we shall beare of our faults . Saith Pace ; I doe not vse to talke of that , that all the Towne talkes of .

7. My Lo. of Essex , at the succor of Rhoan , made 24. Knights ; which at that time was a great matter . Diuerse of those Gentle-men , were of weake and small meanes ; which when Queene Elizabeth heard , shee said ; My Lo. mought haue done well , to haue built his Almes-House , before he made his Knights .

8. A great Officer in France , was in danger to haue lost his place . But his wife , by her suite , and means making , made his peace : whereupon a pleasant Fellow said ; That he had been crushed , but that he saued himselfe vpon his hornes .

9. Queene Anne Bullen , at the time , when she was led to bee beheaded , in the Tower , called one of the Kings Priuie Chamber to her , and said to him ; Commend mee to the King , and tell him , he is constant in his course of aduancing me . From a priuate Gentle-woman , he made me a Marquisse ; and from a Marquisse , a Queene ; and now he had left no higher degree of earthly honour , hee hath made me a Martyr .

10. Bishop Latimer said , in a Sermon , at Court ; That hee heard great speech , that the King was poore , and many waies were propounded to make him rich : For his part , he had thought of one way , which was ; That they should helpe the King to some good office , for all his Officers were rich .

11. Caesar Borgia , after long diuision , betweene him and the Lords of Romagna , fell to accord with them . In this accord , there was an Article , that hee should not call them , at any time , all together , in person : The meaning was , that knowing his dangerous nature If hee meant them treason , some one mought be free , to reuenge the rest . Neuerthelesse , hee did with such art , and faire vsage , win their confidence , that hee brought them all together to Counsell at Sinigalia , where hee mur●…her'd them all . This Act , when it was related vnto Pope Alexander his Father , by a Cardinall , as a thing happy , but verie persidious , the Pope said ; It was they , that had broke their Couenant first , in comming all together .

12. Pope Iulius the third , when hee was made Pope , gaue his Hat vnto a youth , a Fauourite of his , with great scandall . Wherupon , at one time a Cardinall , tha●… mought bee fre●… with him , said modestly to him ; What did your Holinesse see in that young man , to make him Cardinall ? Iulius answered , What did you see in mee , to make me Pope ?

13. The same Iulius , vpon like occasion of speech , why hee should beare so great affection to the same young Man , would say ; That he had found by Astrologie , that it was the youths Destinie , to be a Great Prelate ; which was impossible , except himselfe were Pope ; And therefore , that hee did raise him , as the Driuer on of his owne Fortune .

14 Sir Thomas Moore had onely Daughters , at the first ; And his Wife did euer pray for a Boy : At last hee had a Boy ; which after , at Mans yeeres , proued simple . Sir Thomas said to his Wife ; Thou prayedst so long for a Boy , that hee will bee a Boy , as long as he liues .

15. Sir Thomas Moore , the day he was beheaded , had a Barber sent to him , because his haire was long , which was thought , would make him more commiserable , with the people . The Barber came to him , and asked him ; Whether he would be pleased to bee trimm'd ? In good faith honest fellow , ( said Sir Thomas ) the King and I haue a suit for my Head , and till the Title be cleared , I will doe no cost vpon it .

16. Stephen Gardiner Bishop of Winchester , a great Champion of the Papists , was wont to say of the Protestants , who ground vpon the Scripture ; That they were like Poasts , that bring truth in their Letters , and lies in their Mouths .

17. The Lacedemonians were besieged by the Athenians , in the Fort of Peile ; which was won , and some slaine , and some taken . There was one said , to one of them that was taken , by way of scorne ; Wer●… not they braue men , tha●… lost their liues at th●… Fort of Peile ? He answered ; Certainely a Persian Arrow 〈◊〉 much to be set by , if it can chuse out a bra●… Man .

18. After the Defeat of Cyrus the younger , Falinus was sent , by the King , to the Grecians , ( who had , for their part , rather Victorie , than otherwise , ) to command them , to yeeld their Armes . Which when it was denied , Falinus said to Clearchus ; Well then , the King lets you know , that if you remoue from the place , where you are now encamped , it is warre ; if you stay , it is Truce ; What shall I say , you will doe ? Clearchus answered ; It pleaseth vs , as pleaseth the King . How is that ? saith Falinus . Saith Clearchus ; If we remoue , Warre ; if wee stay , Truce . And so would not disclose his purpose .

19. Clodius was acquit by a corrupt Iurie , that had palpably taken shares of money . Before they gaue vp their verdict , they prayed of the Senate a Guard , that they might doe their Consciences freely ; for Clodius was a verie seditious young Noble-man . Whereupon , all the world gaue him for condemn'd . But acquitted he was . Catulus the next day , seeing some of them , tha●… had acquitted him together , said to them ; What made yo●… to aske of vs a Guard Were you afraid you money should haue bee●… taken from you ?

20. At the same Iudgement , Cicero gaue i●… Euidence vpon oath And the Iurie ( which consisted of 57. ) passed against his Euidence . One day in the Senate , Cicero and Clodius being in altercation , Clodius vpbraided him , and said ; The Iurie gaue you no credit . Cicero answered ; Fiue and twentie gaue mee credit ; but there were two and thirtie , that gaue you no credit , for they had their money aforehand .

21. Many men , especially such as affect grauitie , haue a manner , after other mens speech , to shake their heads . Sir Lionell Cranfield would say ; That it was , as Men shake a Bottle , to see if there were any wit in their Head , or no.

22. Sir Thomas Moore , who was a man , in all his life time , that had an excellent ●…eine in jesting ) at ●…he verie instant of ●…s Death , hauing a ●…cttie long Beard , af●…er his Head was vpon the Blocke , lift it vp againe , and gently ●…rew his Beard aside , ●…nd said ; This hath ●…ot offended the King

23. Sir Thomas Moore had sent him , by a Suter in the Chancerie , two siluer Flagons . When they were presented by the Gentlemans seruant , he said to one of his Men ; Haue him to the Cellar and let him haue of my best wine . And turning to the Seruant said ; Tell thy Master Frend , if he like it , le●… him not spare it .

24. Diogenes hauing seene that the Kingdome of Macedon , which before was contemptible & low , began to come aloft , when hee died , was asked ; How he would be buried ? He answered ; With my face downeward ; for within a while , the world will bee turned vpside downe , and then I shall lie right .

25. Cato the Elder was wont to say ; That the Romans were like sheepe : A man were better driue a flocke of them , then one of them .

26. Themistocles , in his lower Fortune , was in loue with a young Gentle-man , who scorn'd him . When hee grew to his Greatnesse , which was soone after , hee sought to him : But Themistocles said ; Wee are both growne wise , but too late .

27. Demonax the Philosopher , when hee died , was asked touching his buriall . He answered , Neuer take care for burying mee , for stinke will burie me . He that askt him , said againe ; Why , would you haue your bodie left to Dogs and Rauens to feed vpon ? Demonax answered ; Why , what great hurt is it , if hauing sought to doe good , when I liued , to Men ; my bodie doe some good to beasts , when I am dead ?

28. Iack Roberts was desired by his Taylour , when the reckoning grew somewhat high , to haue a Bill of his hand . Roberts said ; I am content , but you must let no man know it . When the Taylor brought him the Bill , he tore●…t it , as in choller , and said to him ; You vse me not well ; you promised me no bodie should know it , and here you haue put in ; Be it knowne to all men by these presents .

29. When Lycurgus was to reforme and alter the state of Sparta , in the Consultation , one aduised , That it should bee reduced to an absolute Popular Equalitie . But Lycurgus said to him ; Sir , beginne it in your owne House .

30. Phocyon , the Athenian , ( a Man of great seueritie , and no wayes flexible to the will of the People ) one day , when hee spake to the People , in one part of his speech , was applauded : Whereupon , he turned to one of his Frends , and asked ; What haue I said amisse ?

31. Sir Walter Ralegh was wont to say , of the Ladies of Queene Elizabeths Priuie-Chamber , and Bed-Chamber ; That they were like Witches ; they could doe hurt , but they could doe no good .

32. Bion , that was an Atheist , was shewed in a Port-Citie , in a Temple of Neptune , many Tables or Pictures , of such , as had in tempests , made their vowes to Neptune , and were saued from shipwrack ; and was askt ; How say you now , doe you not acknowledge the power of the Gods ? But hee said ; Yes , but where are they painted , that haue beene drown'd after their vowes ?

33. Bias was sailing , and there fell out a great Tempest , and the Mariners , that were wicked and dissolute Fellowes , called vpon the Gods But Bias said to them ; Peace , let them not know yee are here .

34. Bion was wont to say ; That Socrates , of all the louers of Alcibiades , onely held him by the eares .

35. There was a Minister depriued for Inconformitie : who said to some of his Frends ; That if they depriued him , it should cost an hundred Mens liues . The Partie vnderstood it , as if , being a turbulent Fellow , hee would haue moued sedition , and complain'd of him . Whereupon , being conuented , and appo sed vpon that speech , he said ; His meaning was , that if hee lost his Benefice , hee would practise Physicke ; and then hee thought hee should kill an hundred Men , in time .

36. Michael Angelo , the famous Painter , painting in the Popes Chappell , the Portraiture of Hell , and damned Soules , made one of the damned Soules so like a Cardinall , that was his enemie , as euerie bodie , at first sight , knew it : Whereupon the Cardinall complained to Pope Clement , desiring it might be defaced ; who said to him ; Why , you know verie well , I haue power to deliuer a soule out of Purgatorie , but not out of Hell .

37. There was a Philosopher about Tiberius , that looking into the nature of Caius , said of him ; That hee was Mire mingled with Bloud .

38. Alcibiades came to Pericles , and stayed a while , ere hee was admitted . When he came in , Pericles ciuilly excused it , and said ; I was studying , how to giue my account . But Alcibiades said to him ; If you will be ruled by mee , studie rather , how to giue no account .

39. Cicero was at dinner , where there was an ancient Ladie , that spake of her yeeres , and said ; She was but fortie yeeres old . One that sate by Cicero , rounded him in the care , and said ; Shee talkes of fortie yeeres old , and shee is farre more , out of question Cicero answered him againe ; I must beleeue her , for I haue heard her say so , any time , these ten yeeres .

40. Pope Adrian the sixth wastalking with the Duke of Sesa , That Pasquill gaue great scandall , and that hee would haue him throwen into the riuer . But Sesa answered ; Doe it not ( holy Father ) for then hee will turne Frogge ; and whereas now hee chaunts but by day , hee will then chaunt both by day and night .

41. There was a Souldier , that vaunted before Iulius Caesar , of hurts he had receiued in his face . Iulius Caesar knowing him bee a Coward , told him ; You were best take beed , next time you r●…nne away , how you looke backe .

42. There was a Bishop , that was somewhat a delicate Person , and bathed twice a day . A Frend of his said to him ; My Lord , why doe you bath twice a day ? The Bishop answered ; Because I cannot conueniently bath thrice .

43. Mendoza , that was Vice-Roy of Peru , was wont to say ; That the Gouernment of Peru , was the best place that the King of Spaine gaue , saue that it was somewhat too neere Madrid .

44. Secretarie Bournes sonne kept a Gentlemans Wife in Shropshire , who liued from her Husband with him . When hee was wearie of her , he caused her Husband to be dealt with , to take her home , and offered him 500. pounds for reparation . The Gentle-man went to Sir Henry Sidney , to take his aduice vpon this offer ; telling him ; That his wife promised now a new life ; and to tell him truth , 500. pounds would come well with him ; and besides , that sometimes he wanted a woman in his bed . By my troth , ( said Sir Henry Sidney ) take her home , and take the money , and then , wheras other Cuckolds weare their hornes plaine , you may weare yours gilt .

45. There was a Gentle-man in Italy , that wrate to a great Frend of his , vpon his Aduancement to bee Cardinall ; That hee was verie glad of his aduancement , for the Cardinalls owne sake : but he was sorrie , that himselfe had lost so good a Frend.

46. When Rablais lay on his Death bed , and they gaue him the Extreme Vnction , a familiar Frend of his came to him afterwards , and asked him ; How hee did ? Rablais answered ; Euen going my journey , they haue greased my boots already .

47. There was a King of Hungarie tooke a Bishop in battell , and kept him prisoner . Whereupon the Pope writ a Monitorie to him , for that hee had broken the Priuiledge of Holy Church , and taken his Sonne . The King sent an Embassage to him , and sen●… withall the Armour , wherein the Bishop was taken , and this onely in writing Vide , num haec sit vestis filij t●… ?

48. There was a Sutour to Vespasian , who to lay his Sute fairer , said ; It was for his Brother : whereas indeed it was for a peece of money . Some about Vespasian , to crosse him , told the Emperour , That the Partie , his Seruant spake for , was not his Brother , but that it was vpon a bargaine . Vespasian se●…t for the Partie interessed , and asked him ; Whether his Meane was his Brother , or no ? He durst not tell vntruth to the Emperour , and confessed ; That he●… was not his Brother Whereupon , the Emperour said ; This doe fetch me the money , and you shall haue your sut●… dispatched . Which h●… did . The Courtier which was the. Meane , sollicited Vespasian , soone after , about his Sute : Why ( saith Vespasian ) I gaue it , last day , to a Brother of mine .

49. When Vespasian passed from Iurie , to take vpon him the Empire , hee went by Alexandria , where remained two famous Philosophers , Apollonius , & Euphrates . The Emperour heard them discourse , touching matter of State , in the presence of many . And when hee was wearie of them , hee brake off , and in a secret derision , finding their Discourses but Speculatiue , and not to be●… put in practise , said ; Oh , that I might gouerne wise men , and wise men gouerne me .

50. Cardinall Ximenes , vpon a muster which was taken against the Moores , was spoken to by a Seruant of his , to stand a little out of the smoake of the Harquebuze : But he said againe ; That that was his Incense .

51. Vespasian askt of Apollonius ; What was the cause of Nero's ruine ? who answered ; Nero could tune the Harpe well ; but in Gouernment , hee did alwayes winde vp the strings too high , or let them downe too low .

52. Mr. Bromley Sollicitour , giuing in Euidence for a Deed which was impeached to bee fraudulent , was vrged by the Counsell on the other side , with this presumption : That in two former suites , when Title was made , that Deed was passed ouer in silence , and some other Conueyance stood vpon . Mr. Iustice Catyline , taking in with that side , asked the Sollicitour ; I pray thee , Mr. Sollicitour , let mee aske you a familiar question : I haue two Geldings in my stable , and I haue diuerse times businesse of importance , and still I send forth one of my Geldings , and not the other ; would you not thinke I set him aside for a Iade ? No , my Lord , ( saith Bromley ) I would thinke you spared him for your owne saddle .

53. Alonso Cartillio was informed by his Steward , of the greatnesse of his expence , being such as hee could not hold out with . The Bishop asked him ; Wherein it chiefly rose ? His Steward told him ; In the multitude of his seruants . The Bishop bade him make a note of those that were necessarie , and those that mought be put off . Which hee did . And the Bishop taking occasion to reade it , before most of his seruants , said to his Steward ; Well , let these remaine , because I need them ; and these other , because they need mee .

54. Queene Elizabeth was wont to say vpon the Commission of Sales ; That the Commissioners vsed her like strawberrie wiues , that laid two or threo great strawberries at the mouth of their pot , and all the rest were little ones : So they made her two or three good prices of the first particulars , but fell straight-wayes .

55. Queene Elizabeth was wont to say of her instructions to great Officers ; That they were like to garments , straight at the first putting on , but did by and by weare loose enough .

56. Mr. Marburie the Preacher would say ; That God was faine to deale with wicked men , as men do with frisking jades in a pasture , that cannot take them vp , till they get them at a gate : So wicked men will not bee taken vp , till the boure of death .

57. Thales , as he lookt vpon the starres , fell into the water : Whereupon , it was after said ; That if hee had lookt into the water , he might haue seene the starres ; but looking vp to the starres , hee could not see the water .

58. The Booke of Deposing Richard the second , and the comming in of Henrie the fourth , supposed to bee written by Dr. Hayward , who was committed to the Tower for it , had much incensed Q. Elizabeth . And she asked Mr. Bacon , being then of her learned Counsell ; Whether there were no treason contained in it ? Mr. Bacon intending to doe him a pleasure , and to take off the Queenes bitternesse with a jest , answered ; No Madam , for treason , I cannot deliuer opinion , that there is any , but verie much felonie . The Queene apprehending it gladly , asked ; How , and wherein ? Mr. Bacon answered ; Because he had stollen many of his sentences and conceits , out of Cornelius Tacitus .

59. Mr. Popham , when hee was Speaker , and the Lower House had sate long , and done in effect nothing ; comming one day to Queene Elizabeth , she said to him ; Now , Mr. Speaker , what hath passed in the Lower House ? He answered ; If it please your Maiestie , seuen weekes .

60. Pope Xystus the fifth , who was a pooremansson , & his fathers house ill-thatched , so that the Sunne came in , in many places , would sport with his ignobilitie , & say ; He was , Nato di Casa illustre : Sonne of an illustrious House .

61. When the King of Spaine conquered Portugall , hee gaue speciall charge to his Lieutenant , that the Souldiers should not spoile , lest hee should alienate the hearts of the people . The Armie also suffered much scarsitie of victuall . Whereupon , the Spanish Souldiers would afterwards say : That they had won the King a Kingdome , ●…s the Kingdome of Heauen vseth to bee wonne ; 〈◊〉 fasting , and abstainning from tha●… , that is another mans .

62. Cicero married his Daughter to Dolabella ; th●… hold Caesars pattie : Pompey had married Iulia , ●…at wa●… Caesars Daughter . After , when Caesar and Pompey tooke Armes one against the other ; and Pompey had passed the seas , and Caesar possessed Italy , Cicero stay'd somewhat long in Italy , but at last sailed ouer to ioyne with Pompey : who when hee came vnto him , Pompey said ; You are welcome ; but where left you your Sonne in Law ? Cicero answered ; With your Father in law .

63. Nero was wont to say of his Master Seneca ; That his stile was like mortar of sand without lime .

64. Sir Henrie Wotton vsed to say ; That Critticks are like Brushers of Noble-mens cloaths .

65. Queene Elizabeth , being to resolue vpon a great Officer , and being by some , that canuassed for others , put in some doubt of that person , whom she meant to aduance , called for Mr. Bacon , and told him ; Shee was like one with a lanthorne , seeking a man : and seemed vnsarisfied , in the choyce she had of men for that place . Mr. Bacon answered her ; That hee had heard , that in old time , there was vsually painted on the Church walls , the Day of Doome , and God sitting in judgement , and Saint Michael by him , with apaire , of ballance , and the soule , and the good deeds in the one ballance , and the faults and the euill deeds in the other ; and the soules ballance went vp farre too light : Then was our Ladie painted with a great paire of beads , casting them into the light ballance , to make vp the weight : So ( hee said ) place and authoritie , which were in her hands to giue , were like our Ladies beads , which though Men , through diuerse imperfections , were too light before , yet when they were cast in , made weight competent .

66. Mr. Sauill was asked , by my Lo. of Essex , his opinion touching Poets ; who answered my Lo. He thought them the best writers , next to those that write prose .

67. Mr. Mason of Trinitie Colledge , sent his Pupill to another of the Fellowes , to borrow a booke of him : who told him ; I am loth to lend my bookes out of my chamber ; but if it please thy Tutour , to come and reade vpon it in my chamber , hee shall , as long as he will . It was Winter : and some dayes after , the same Fellow sent to Mr. ●…son , to borrow his bellowes . But Mr. Mason said to his Pupill ; I am loth to lend my bellowes out of my chamber ; but if thy Tutor would come , and blow the fire in my chamber , hee shall , as long as he will .

68. Nero did cut a youth , as if he would haue transformed him into a woman , & call'd him Wife . There was a Senator of Rome , that said secretly to his Frend ; It was pittie Nero's father had not such a wife .

69. Galba succeeded Nero , and his age being much despised , there was much licence and confusion in Rome . Whereupon , a Senatour said in full Senate ; It were better liue where nothing is lawfull , then where all things are lawfull .

70. In Flaunders , by accident , a Flemmish Tiler , fell from the top of a house vpon a Spaniard , and killed him , though he escaped himselfe . The next of the bloud prosecuted his death with great violence against the Tiler . And when hee was offered pecuniarie recompence , nothing would serue him , but Lex Talionis . Whereupon the Iudge said to him ; That if hee did vrge that kinde of sentence , it must bee , that hee should goe vp to the top of the house , and thence fall downe vpon the Tiler .

71. Queene Elizabeth was dilatorie enough in sutes , of her owne nature : And the Lo. Threasurer Burleigh , to feed her humour , would say to her ; Madam , you doe well to let Suters stay ; for I shall tell you , Bis dat , qui citò dat ; If you grant them speedily , they will come againe the sooner .

72. They faigne a tale of Sixtus Quintus , that after his death he went to Hell ; And the Porter of Hell said to him ; You haue some reason to offer your selfe to this place ; but yet I haue order not to receiue you : you haue a place of your owne , Purgatorie , you may goe thither . So he went away , & sought Purgatorie a great while , & could finde no such place . Vpon that hee tooke heart , and went to Heau●… and knocked , and 〈◊〉 Peter asked ; Who w●… there ? He said ; Sixtus Pope . Whereunto St. Peter said ; Why doe you knocke ? you haue the keyes . Sixtus answered ; It is true , but it is so long since they were giuen , as I doubt the wards of the locke be altred .

73. Charles King of Swede , a great enemie of the Iesuites , when hee tooke any of their Colledges , he would hang the old Iesuites , and put the young to his Mines , saying ; That since they wrought so hard aboue ground , he would trie how they could worke vnderground .

74. In Chancerie , one time , when the Counsell of the Parties set forth the Bundaries of the land in question , by the Plot : And the Counsell of one part sayd ; Wee lie on this side , my Lo. And the Counsell on the other part said ; Wee lie on this side : The Lo. Chanceller Hatton stood vp , and said ; If you lie on both sides , whom will you haue mee to beleeue ?

75. Vespasian , and Titus his eldest Sonne , were both absent from Rome , when the Empire was cast vpon him . Domitian his younger Sonne was at Rome , who tooke vpon him the Affaires : And being of a turbulent spirit , made many changes , and displaced diuerse Officers , and Gouernours of Prouinces , sending them Successours : So when Vespasian came to Rome , and Domitian came into his presence , Vespasian said to him ; Sonne , I looked when you would haue sent me a Successour .

76. Sir Amice Pawlet , when hee saw too much haste made in any matter , was wont to say ; Stay a while , that wee may make an end the sooner .

77. The Deputies of the reformed Religion , after the Massacre , which was vpon St. Bartholomewes day , treated with the King and Queene-Mother , and some other of the Counsell , for a peace . Both sides were agreed vpon the Articles . The Question was , vpon the securitie of performance . After some particulars propounded and reiected , the Queene-Mother said ; Why , is not the word of a King sufficient securitie ? One of the Deputies answered ; No , by St. Bartholomew , Madam .

78. When the Arch-Duke did raise his siege from Graue , the then Secretarie came to Queene Elizabeth ; and the Queene hauing intelligence first , said to the Secretarie ; Wote you what ? The Arch-Duke is risen from the Graue . Hee answered ; What without the Trumpet of the Archangell ? The Queene replyed ; Yes , without sound of Trumpet .

79. Francis the first , vsed for his pleasure , sometimes to goe disguised . So walking one day , in the companie of the Cardinall of Borbon , neere Paris , hee met a Peasant , with a new paire of shooes vpon his arme . So hee call'd him to him , and said ; By our Ladie , these bee good shooes , what did they cost thee ? The Peasant said ; Guesse . The King said ; I thinke some fiue Souls . Saith the Peasant ; You haue lied but a Carolois . What Villaine ( saith the Cardinall of Burbon ) thou art dead : It is the King . The Peasant replyed ; The Deuill take him , of you and mee , that knew so much .

80. There was a conspiracie against the Emperour Claudius , by Scribonianus , examined in the Senate ; where Claudius sa●… in his chaire , and one of his Freed-Seruants stood at the backe of his chaire . In the examination , that Freed Seruant , who had much power with Claudius , verie saucily had almost all the words ; and amongst other things , he asked in scorne , one of the Examinats , who was likewise Freed Seruant of Scribonianus ; I pray , Sir , if Scribonianus had beene Emperour , what would you haue done ? Hee answered ; I would haue stood behinde his chaire , and held my peace .

81. Dionysius the Tyrant , after he was deposed , and brought to Corinth , kept a schoole . Many vsed to visit him , and amongst others , one , when hee came in , opened his mantle , and shooke his cloathes , thinking to giue Dionysius a gentle scorne ; because it was the manner to doe so , for them that came in to him , while he was Tyrant . But Dionysius said to him ; I pray thee doe so rather when thou goest out , that wee may see thou stealest nothing away .

82. Hannibal said of Fabius Maximus , and of Marcellus ( whereof the Former waited vpon him , that hee could make no progresse ; and the Latter had many sharpe fights with him ; ) That he feared Fabius , like a Tutour ; and Marcellus , like an Enemie .

83. Diogenes , one terrible frostie morning , came into the Market Place , and stood naked quaking , to shew his Tollerancie . Many of the people came about him , pittying him . Plato passing by , and knowing hee did it to be seene , said to the people , as hee went by ; If you pittie him indeed , leaue him alone .

84. Sackford , Master of the Requests to Queen Elizabeth , had diuerse times moued for audience , & been put off . At last hee came to the Queene in a progresse , and had on a new paire of boots . When hee came in , the Queene said to him ; Fie Slouen , thy new Boots stinke . Madam , ( said he ) it is not my new Boots that stinke , but it is the stale Bills that I haue kept so long .

85. One was saying ; That his great Grandfather , and Grand father , and Father , died at sea . Said another that heard him ; And I were as you , I would neuer come at Sea . Why ( saith hee ) where did your great Grand-father , & Grand-father , and Father die ? Hee answered ; Where , but in their Beds ? Saith the other ; And I were as you , I would ●…er come in Bed .

86. Arist ppus was 〈◊〉 Suiter to Dionysius , for somewhat , who would giue no eare to his Suit . Aristippus fell at his feet : Then Dionysius granted it . One that stood by , said afterwards to Aristippus ; You a Philosopher , and to bee sabase , as to throw your selfe at the Tyrants feet , to get a Suit ? Aristippus answered ; The fault is not mine , but the fault is in Dionysius , that carries his cares in his feet .

87. There was a young man in Rome , that was verie like Augustus Caesar Augustus tooke knowledge of it , and ●…enr for the Man , and asked him ; Was your Mother neuer at Rome ? Hee answered ; No , Sir , but my Father was .

88. A Physician aduised his Patient , that had sore eyes , that hee should abstaine from wine . But the Patient said ; I thinke rather , Sir , from wine and water ; for I haue aften marked it ; in bleare eyes , and I haue seene water come forth , but neuer wine .

89. When Sir Thomas Moore was Lo. Chanceller , hee did vse , at Masse , to sit in the Chancell ; and his Ladie in a Pew . And because the Pew stood out of sight , his Gentleman-Vsher , euer after Seruice , came to the Ladies Pew , and said ; Madam , my Lo. is gone . So when the Chancellers place was taken from him , the next time they went to Church , Sir Thomas himselfe came to his Ladies Pew , and said ; Madam , my Lo. is gone .

90. At an Act of the Commencement , the Answerer gaue for his Question ; That an Aristoaracie was better then a Monarchie . The Replyer , who was a dissolute Fellow , did tax him ; That being a priuate bred Man , bee would giue a Question of State . The Answerer said ; That the Replyer did much wrong the priuiledg●… of Seh●…ers ; who would bee much 〈◊〉 if they should giue Questions of nothing , but such things wherein they are practised . And added ; Wee haue heard your selfe dispute of vertue , which no man will say , you put much its practise .

91. There was a dispute , whether great heads or little heads had the better wit ? And one said ; It must needs be the little . For it is a Maxime : Omne maius continet in se minus .

92. Solon , when hee wept for his Sonnes death , and one said to him ; Weeping will not helpe : answered , A●…s , therfore I weepe , because weeping will not helpe .

93. Solon being asked ; Whether bee had giuen the Athenians the best Lawes ? answered ; Yes , the best of those that they would haue receiued .

94. One said to Aristippus ; It is a strange thing , why should men rather giue to the poore , then to Philosophers . Hee answered ; Because , they thinke themselues may sooner come to bee poore , then to be Philosophers .

95. Alexander vsed to say of his two Frends , Craterus and Hephestion ; That Hephestion loued Alexander , and Craterus loued the King .

96. It fell out so , that as Liuia went abroad in Rome , there met her naked young Men , that were sporting in the streets : Which Augustus was about seuerely to punish in them : But Liuia spake for them , and said ; It was no more to chaste women , then so many Statua's .

97. Alonso of Aragon was wont to say , in commendation of Age , that Age appeared to be best in ●…oure things ; Old wood best to burne ; Old wine to drinke ; Old Frends to trust ; and Old Authors to reade .

98. It was said of Augustus , & afterwards the like was said of Septimius Seuerus : Both which did infinite mischiefe in their beginnings , and infinite good towards their ends ; That they should either neuer haue beene borne , or neuer died .

99. Queene Isabell of Spaine would say ; Whosoeuer hath a good presence , and a good fashion , carries Letters of Recommendation .

100. Traian would say of the vaine jelousie of Princes , that seeke to make away those that aspire to their Succession ; That there was neuer King , that did put to death his Successour .

101. When it was represented to Alexander , to the aduantage of Antipater , who was a sterne and imperious Man , that hee onely of all his Lieutenants , wore no Purple , but kept the Macedonian Habit of Blacke , Alexander said ; Yes , but Antipater is all Purple within .

102. Constantine the Great , in a kinde of ●…nuie , himselfe being a great Builder , as Traian likewise was , would call Traian , Wall-flower , because his name was vpon so many walls .

103. Philip of Macedon was wished to banish one , for speaking ill of him : But Philip said ; Better he speake where wee are both knowne , then where we are both vnknowne .

104. A Grecian Captaine aduising the Confederares , that were vnited against the L●…demonians , touching their Enterprise , gaue opinion , that they should goe directly vpon Sparta , saying ; That the state of Sparta was like Riuers ; strong when they had runne a great way , and weake towards their Head .

105. Alonso of Aragon was wont to say of himselfe ; That he was a great Necromancer , for that he vsed to aske Counsell of the Dead : meaning Books .

106. I ●…llus entertained Pompey , in one of ●…is magnificent house : Pompey said ; This is a maruellous faire and stately house for the Summer , but , 〈◊〉 thinkes , it should be 〈◊〉〈◊〉 for the Winters Lugullus answered ; Doe you not thinks me as wise as diuerse Fowle are , to remoue with the season ?

107. Plato entertained some of his Frends at a Dinner , and had in the Chamber , a Bed or Couch , nearly and costly furnished . Diogenes came in , and got vp vpon the Bed , and trampled vpon it , and said ; I trample vpon the pride of Plato . Plato mildly answered ; But with greater pride .

108. One was examined , vpon certaine scandalous words spoken against the King . He confessed them , and said ; It is true , I spake them , and if the wine had not failed , I had said much more .

109. Pompey being Commissioner , for sending graine to Rome , in time of Dearth , when hee came to the sea , hee found it verie tempestuous & dangerous ; Insomuch as those about him , aduised him by no meanes to embarque . But Pompey said ; It is of necessitie that I goe , not that I liue .

110. Traian would say , That the Kings Exchecquer was like the Spleene ; for when that did swell , the whole Bodie did pine .

111. Charles the Bauld allowed one , whose name was Scottus , to sit at the Table with him , for his pleasure Scottus sate on the other side of the Table . One time the King being merrie with him , said to him ; What is there betweene Scot and Sot ? Scottus answered ; The table onely .

112. Ethelwold , Bishop of Winchester , in a famine , sold all the rich Vessells and Ornaments of the Church , to releeue the poore with bread : and said ; There was no reason , that the dead Temples of God should be sumptuously furnished , and the liuing Temples suffer penurie .

113. There was a Marriage made betweene a Widow of great wealth , and a Gentleman of great House , that had no estate or meanes . Iack Roberts said ; That Marriage was like a blacke pudding ; the one brought Blo'd , and the other brought Sewet and Oatmcale .

114. Demosthenes was vpbraided by Aeschines , that his speeches did smell of the Lampe . But Demosthenes said ; Indeed there is a great difference , betweene that that you and I doe by Lampe-light .

115. Demades the Oratour , in his age was talkatiue , and would eat hard . An●…ipater would say of him ; That he was like a Sacrifice , that nothing was left of it , but the Tongue & the Paunch .

116. When King Edward the second was amongst his Torturers , who hurried him too and fro , that no man should know where hee was , they set him down vpon a Banke ; And one time the more to disguise his face , shaued him , and washed him , with cold water of a ditch by : The King sayd ; Well yet , I will haue warme water for my Beard . And so shed abundance of Teares .

117 The Turke made an Expedition into Persia , and because of the strait jawes of the Mountaines of Armenia , the Basha's consulted which way they should get in . Saies a naturall Foole that stood by : Here 's much adoe how you should get in , but I heare no Bodie take care , how you should get out .

118. Sir Thomas Moore , when the Counsell of the Partie pressed him for a longer day , said ; Take St. Barnabies day , which is the longest day in the yeere . Now St. Barnabies day was within few dayes following .

119. One of the Fathers saith ; That there is but this difference betweene the death of old men and young men ; that old men goe to death , and death comes to young Men.

120. Philo Iudaeus saith ; That the Sense is like the Sun : Far the Sun seales vp the Globe of Heauen , and opens the Globe of Earth : So the Sense doth obscure heauenly things , & reueale earthly things .

121. Cassius , after the defeat of Crassus , by the Parthians , whose weapons were chiefly Arrowes , , fled to the Citie of ●…rras , where he durst not stay any 〈◊〉 , doubting to be pursued , & besieged . 〈◊〉 had with him an Astrologer , who said to him ; Sir , I would not haue you goe hence , while the Moone is in the signe of Scorpic . Cassius answered ; I am more afraid , of that of Sagittarie .

122. Alexander , after the Battell of Gramcum , had very great Offers made him by Darius . Consulting with his Captaines , concerning them , Parmenio said ; Sure , I would accept of these offers , if I were as Alexander . Alexander answered ; So would I , if I were as Parmenio .

123. Alexander was wont to say ; Hee knew he was mortall by two things , Sleepe , and Lust.

124. Augustus Caesar was inuited to supper , by one of his old Frends , that had conuersed with him , in his lesse Fortunes , and had but ordinarie entertainment . Whereupon , at his going , he said ; I did not know , that you and I were so familiar .

125. Augustus Caesar would say ; That hee wondred , that Alexander feared hee should want worke , hauing no more to conquer : As if it were not as hard a matterto keep , as to conquer .

126. Antigonus , when it was told him , that the enemie had such volleyes of arrowes , that they did hide the Sunne , said ; That falls out well , for it is hot wether , and wee shall fight in the shade .

127. Augustus Caesar 〈◊〉 write to Liuia , who was ouer-sensible of some ill words that had been spoken of them both ; Let it not trouble you , my Liuia , if any man speake ill of vs , for wee haue enough , that no man can doe ill vnto vs .

128. Chilon said ; That Kings Frends and Fauourites were like Casting Counters , that sometimes stood for one , sometimes for ten , sometimes for a hundred .

129. Theodosius , when hee was pressed by a Sutour , and denied him , the Sutour said ; Why , Sir , you promised it . Hee answered ; I said it , but I did not promise it , if it be vniust .

130. Agathocles , after he had taken Syracusa , the men whereof , during the Siege , had in a brauerie , spoken of him all the villanie that mought be , sold the Syracusans for slaues , and said ; Now if you vse such words of mee , I will tell your Masters of you .

131. Dionysius the Elder , when he saw his Son , in many things 〈◊〉 inordinate , said to him ; Did you ever know mee 〈◊〉 such things 〈◊〉 His Sonn●… answered , No , but you had not a Tyrant to your Father : The Father replyed ; No , 〈◊〉 you , if you take these courses , will haue 〈◊〉 Tyrant to your Son .

132. Callisthenes the Philosopher , that followed Alexanders Court , and hated the King , was askt by one ; How one should 〈◊〉 the famousest 〈◊〉 in the world ? And answered ; By taking away him that is .

133. Sir Edward Coke was wont to say , when a great Man came to Dinner to him , and gaue him no knowledge of his comming ; Well , since you sent me no word of your comming , you shall dine with mee but if I had knowne of your comming , I would haue dined with you .

134. The Romans , when they spake to the people , were wont to call them ; Yee Romans . When Commanders in War spake to their Armie , they , called them ; My Souldiers . There was a Mucinie in Caesars Armie , and somewhat the Souldiers would haue had , but they would not declare themselues in it : Onely they demanded , a Dimission or discharge , though with no intention it should bee granted : But knowing that Caesar had , at that time , great need of their seruice , thought by that meanes , to wrench him to their other desires . Whereupon , with one try , they asked Dimission . But Caesar , after silence made , said ; I , for my 〈◊〉 , yee Romans : which admitied them 〈◊〉 bee dismissed : Which voice they had no sooner heard , but they mutined againe , 〈◊〉 would not suffer 〈◊〉 to goe on , vntill 〈◊〉 had called them by the name of Souldiers . And so , with 〈◊〉 word , 〈◊〉〈◊〉 the 〈◊〉 .

135. Caesar would say of Sylla , for that hee did resigne his Dictatourship ; That hee was ignorant of letters , he could not dictate .

136. Seneca said of Caesar ; That he did quickly sheath the sword , but neuer laid it off .

137. Diogenes begging as diuerse Philosophers then vsed , did beg more of a prodi●…ll man , then of the test that were present : Whereupon one said 〈◊〉 him ; See your basenesse , that when you ●…de a liberall minde , you will take most of . No , ( said Diogenes ) but I meane to beg of the rest againe .

138. Iason the Thessalian was wont to say ; That some things must be done vniustly , that many things may bee done iustly .

139. Sir Nicholas Bacon being Keeper of the Seale , when Queene Elizabeth , in progresse , came to his house at Redgraue , and said to him ; My Lo. what a little house haue you gotten ? said , Madam , my house is well , but it is you that 〈◊〉 made me too great 〈◊〉〈◊〉 house .

140. ●…mistocles , when 〈◊〉 Embassador from 〈◊〉 meane State did 〈◊〉 great matters , 〈◊〉 to him ; Frend , 〈◊〉 words would re●… a Citie .

141. Agesilaus , when one told him there was one did excellently counterfet a Nightingale , and would haue had him heare him , said ; Why , I haue heard the Nightingale her selfe .

142. A great Nobleman , vpon the complaint of a Seruant of his , layd a Citizen by the heeles , thinking to bend him to his Seruants desire . But the Fellow being stubborne , the Seruant came to his Lo. and told him ; Your ●…op. I know , hath gone as farre as well you may , but it workes not , for yonder Fellow is more peruerse then before . Said my Lo Let 's forget him a while , and then he will remember himselfe .

143. One came to a Cardinall in Rome , and told him ; That he had brought his Lop. a daintie white Palfrey , but he fell lame by the way . Saith the Cardinall to him ; ●…e tell thee what thou shalt doe ; Goe to such a Cardinall , and such a Cardinall , ( naming him some halfe a dozen Cardinalls ) and tell them as much ; And so , whereas by thy horse , if hee had beene found , thou couldst haue pleased but one , with thy lame borsethou maiest please halfe a dozen .

144. Iphicrates the Athenian , in a Treatie that he had with the Lacedemonians for peace , in which question was about securitie for obseruing the same , said ; The Athenians would not accept of any Securitie , except the Lacedemonians did yeeld vp vnto them those things , whereby it mought bee manifest , that they could not hurt them , if they would .

145. Euripides would say of persons that were beautifull , and yet in some yeeres ; In faire bodies , not onely the Spring is pleasant , but also the Autumne .

146. After a great fight , there came to the Campe of Consaluo the great Captaine , a Gentle-man proudly horsed and armed . Diego de Mendoza askt the great Captaine ; Who 's this ? Who answered ; It is St Ermin , that neuer appeares , but after a storme .

147. There was a Captaine sent to an Exploit by his Generall , with Forces that were not likely to atchieue the Enterprise . The Captaine said to him ; Sir , appoint but halfe so many . Why ? ( saith the Generall . ) The Captaine answered ; Because it is better fewer die then more .

148. They would say of the Duke of Guise Henrie , that had sold and oppignerated all his Patrimonie , to suffice the great Donan̄ues that hee had made ; That hee was the greatest Vsurer of France , because all his 〈◊〉 was in obligations .

149. Croesus said to Cambyses ; That Peace was better then warre ; because in peace the Sonnes did burie their Fathers , but in warres , the Fathers did burie their Sonnes .

150. There was an Harbinger had lodged a Gentle-man in a verie ill roome , who expostulated with him somewhat rudely ; But the Harbinger carelesly sayd ; You will take pleasure in it , when you are out of it .

151. There was a curst ●…age , that his Master ●…hipt naked : And when hee had beene ●…hipt , would not put on his Cloaths : And when his Master hade him , said to him ; ●…ake them you , for they are the Hangmans fees .

152. There was one that died greatly in debt . When it was reported in some companie , where diuerse of his Creditors were , that hee was dead , one began to say ; In good faith , then hee hath carried 500. Duckets of mine , with him , into the other world . And another of them said ; And 200. of mine . And some others spake of seuerall summes of theirs . Whereupon , one that was amongst them , said ; Well , I see how , that though a man ●…not carrie any of his ●…wne with him into the 〈◊〉 world , yet he may carrie other mens .

153. Francis Caruajall , that was the great Captaine of the Rebells of Peru , had often giuen the chace to Diego Centeno , a principall Commander of the Emperours partie . He was afterwards taken by the Emperours Licutenant Gasca , and committed to the custodie of Diego Centeno , who vsed him with all possible curtesie ; Insomuch as Caruajall askt him ; I pray , Sir , who are you , that vse mee with this curtefie ? Centeno said ; Doe you not know Diego Centeno ? ●…uajall answered ; 〈◊〉 good faith , Sir , I ●…ue beene so vsed to 〈◊〉 your backe , as I ●…ew not your face .

154. Caruajall , when he was drawne to exe●…tion , being foure●…ore and fiue yeeres old , and layd vpon the Hurdle , sayd ; What ? young in cradle , old in cradle ?

155. There is a Spanish Adage ; Loue without end , hath no end : Meaning , that if it were begun , not vpon particular ends , it would last .

156. Cato the Elder , being aged , buried his Wife , and married a young woman . His Sonne came to him , and said ; Sir , what haue I offended you , that you haue brought Step mother into your 〈◊〉 ? The old Man answered ; N●…y , quite ●…ntrarie , Sonne , thou ●…easest me so well , as I would be glad to haue more such .

157. Crassus the Oratour had a Fish , which the Romans call'd Murena , that hee had made verie tame , and fond of him . The Fish died , and Crassus wept for it . One day falling in contention with Domitius in the Senate , Domitius said ; Foolish Crassus , you wept for your Murena . Crassus replied ; That 's more then you did for both your wiues .

158. Philip , Alexanders Father , gaue Sentence against a Prisoner , what time hee was drowsie , and seemed 〈◊〉 giue small attenti●… ; The Prisoner , ●…er sentence was pro●…unced , said ; I ap●…ale . The King somewhat stirred , sayd ; 〈◊〉 whom doe you ap●…ale ? The Prisoner answered ; From Philip when hee gaue no ●…are , to Philip when he shall giue care .

159. The same Philip maintained Argument with a Musician , in points of his Art , somewhat peremptorily . But the Musician said to him ; God forbid , Sir , your Fortune were so hard , that you should know these things better then I.

160. There was a Philosopher that disputed with Adrian the Emperour , and did it but weakely . One of his Frends that had beene by , after wards 〈◊〉 to him ; Mee thinkes you were no●… like your selfe , last day , in Argument with the Emperour , I could haue ●…swered better my selfe . Why , sayd the Philosopher , would you haue mee contend 〈◊〉 him that

161. Diogenes was asked in a kinde of scorne ; What was the matter , that Philosophers haunted rich men , and not rich men Philosophers ? He answered ; Because the one knew what they wanted , the other did not .

162. Demetrius King of Macedon , had a petition offered him diucrse times by an old Woman , and still answered ; Hee had no ●…sure . Whereupon , the woman said aloud ; Why then giue ouer to be King .

163. The same Demetrius would , at times , r●…ro himselfe from businesse , and giue himselfe wholly to pleasures . One day of those his retirings , giuing out that he was sicke , his Father Antigonus came , on the suddaine , to visit him , and met a faire daintie youth comming out of his Chamber , When Antigonus came in , Demetrius said ; Sir , the feauer left me right now . Antigonus replyed ; I thinke it was hee that I met at the doore .

164. There was a Mer●… farre in debt that died . His goods 〈◊〉 houshold stuffe 〈◊〉 set forth to sale . 〈◊〉 was one that 〈◊〉 onely a pillow , and said ; This pillow sure is good to 〈◊〉 vpon , since bee could sleepe that owed 〈◊〉 many debts .

165. A Louer met his Lady in a close chaire , shee thinking to goe vnknowne . He came and spake to her . She askt him ; How did you know me ? He said ; Because my wounds bled afresh . Alluding to the commen tradition , That the wounds of a bodie slaine , in the presence of him that kill'd him , will bleed afresh .

166. A Gentle-man brought Musicke to his Ladies window , who hated him , and had warned him oft away : And when he persisted , shee threw stones at him . Whereupon , a Frend of his , that was in his companie , sayd to him ; What greater honour can you haue to your Musicke , then that stones come about you , as they did to Orpheus ?

167. Cato Maior would say . ; That wise men learned more by Fooles , then Fooles by wise men .

168. When it was sayd to Anaxagoras ; The Athenians haue condemned you to die . He said againe ; And Nature them .

169. Demosthenes , when 〈◊〉 from the Bat●… , and that it wasre●…proached to him , 〈◊〉 ; That hee that 〈◊〉 mought fight againe .

170. Antalcidas , when an Athenian said to him ; Ye Spartans are ●…learned : said againe ; True , for wee , haue learned , no euill , nor vice , of you .

171. Alexander , when his Father wished him , to runne , for the prize of the Race , at the Tion Games , ( for hee was very swift ) said ; He would , if he might runne with Kings .

172. When Alexander passed into Asia , hee gaue large Donatiues , to his Captains , and other principall Men of Vertue : In 〈◊〉 much , as Parmenio 〈◊〉 him ; Sir , what doe you keepe , for your selfe ? Hee answered ; Hope .

173. Antigonus vsed oft ●…goe disguised , and listen at the Tents of his Souldiers : And at a time , heard some that spoke , very ill of him . Whereupon , he opened the Tent a little , and said to them If you will speake ill of mee , you should goe a little further off .

174. Vespasian set a Tribute vpon Vrine . Titus his Sonne , emboldned himselfe ; to speake to his Father of it ; and represented it , as a thing indigne , and sordid . Vespasian said nothing for the time ; but a while after , when it was forgotten , sent for a piece of Siluer , out of the Tribute Money , and called to his Sonne , ●…ding him smell to it ; and asked him ; Whether he found any offence ? Who said ; No. Why loe ( saith Vespasran againe ) and yet thir comes out of Vrine .

175. There were two Gentlemen , otherwise of equall degree , saue that the one , was of the ancienter house . The other , in curtesie , asked his Hand to kisse : which hee gaue him : And he kist it : But said withall , to right himselfe , by way of Friendship ; Well , I and you , against any two of them : Putting himselfe first .

176. Nerua the Empe●… , succeeded Do●… , who was ay●…nicall ; so as in his 〈◊〉 , many noble ●…ouses , were ouer●…rowne , by false Ac●…tions ; the Instru●…ents whereof , were ●…iefly , Marcellus and Regulus . The Emperour , one night , 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 , with some 〈◊〉 o●… seuen : Amongst which , there was one , that was a dangerous Man , and began to take , the like courses , as Marcellus , and Regulus had done . The Emperour fell into discourse , of the Iniustice , and Tyranny , of the former time , and by name , of the two Accusers , and said ; What should wee doe with them , if wee had them now ? One of them , that were at supper , and was a free spoken Senatour , said ; Marry , they should sup with vs .

177. There was one that found a great masse of money , digged vnder ground , in his Grand-fathers house . And being some what doubtfull of the case , signified it to the Emperour , that hee had found such Treasure . The Emperour made a Rescript thus ; Vse it . Hee writ backe againe , that the summe was greater then his Estate or Condition could vse . The Emperour writ a new Rescript , thus ; Abuse it .

178. A Spaniard was censuring to a French Gentleman , the want of deuotion amongst the French : In that , whereas in Spaine , when the Sacrament goes to the sicke , any that meets with it , turnes backe , & waits vpon it to the house whither it goes : But in France , they onely doe reuerence , and passe by . But the French Gentle-man answered him ; There is reason for it , for here with vs , Christ is secure amongst his Frends ; but in Spaine , there be so many Iewes and Marano's , that it is not amisse for him to haue a Conuoy .

179. Coranus the Spaniard , at a table at dinner , fell into an extolling of his owne Father , and sayd ; If he should haue wished of God , he could not haue chosen amongst men , a better Father . Sir Henrie Sauill sayd ; What , not Abraham ? Now Coranus was doubted to descend of a race of Iewes .

180. Consaluo would say ; The honour of a Souldier ought to be of a good strong webbe : Meaning , that it should not be so fine and curious , that euerie little disgrace should catch , and sticke in it .

181. One of the Seuen was wont to say ; That Lawes were like Copwebs ; where the small Flies were caught , and the great brake thorow .

182. Bias gaue in precept ; Loue , as if you should hereafter hate ; and hate , as if you should hereafter loue .

183. Aristippus being reprehended of Lu●…urie , by one that was not rich , for that he gaue six Crownes for a small Fish , answered ; Why , what would you haue giuen ? The other said ; Some twelue pence . Aristippus said againe ; And six Crownes is no more with me .

184. There was a French Gentleman speaking with an English , of the Law Salique ; That women were excluded to inherit the Crown of France . The English sayd ; Yes , but that was meant of the women themselues , not of such Males as claim'd by women . The French Gentleman sayd ; Where doe you finde that Glosse ? The English answered ; He tell you , Sir , looke on the backside of the Record of the Law Salique , and there you shall finde it endorsed . Meaning , there was no such thing at all , as the Law Salique , but that it was a Fiction .

185. There was a Frier in earnest dispute about the Law Salique , that would needs proue it by Scripture ; citing that verse of the Gospell ; Lilia agri non laborant , neque nent : Which is as much to say , ( saith he ) that the Flower de luces of France cannot descend , neither to Distaffe , nor Spade : that is , not to a woman , nor to a Peasant .

186. Iulius Caesar , as hee passed by , was by acclamation of some that were suborned , called King ; to trie how the people would take it . The People shewed great murmur and distaste at it . Caesar finding where the winde stood , slighted it , and said ; I am not King , but Caesar : As if they had mistooke his name : For Rex was a Surname amongst the Romans , as King is with vs .

187. When Croesus , for his glory , shewed Solon great Treasure of Gold , Solon sayd to him ; If another come , that hath better iron then you , hee will bee Master of all this Gold .

188. There was a Gentleman that came to the Tilt , all in Orenge tawnie , and ranne verie ill . The next day he came all in Green , and ranne worse There was one of the Lookers on askt another ; What 's the reason , that this Gentleman changeth his Colours ? The other answered ; Sure , because it may be reported , that the Gentleman in the Greene ranne worse then the Gentleman in the Orenge tawnie .

189. Aristippus sayd , That those that studied particular Sciences , & neglected Philosophie , were like Penelopes Wooers , that made loue to the waiting women .

190. Plato reproued seuerely a young man , for entring into a dissolute house . The young man sayd to him ; What , for so small a matter ? Plato replyed ; But Custome is no small matter .

191. There was a Law made by the Romans against the Briberie and Extortion of the Gouernours of Prouinces . Cicero saith , in a Speech of his to the People ; That hee thought the Prouinces would petition to the State of Rome , to haue that Law repealed . For ( saith hee ) before , the Gouernours did bribe and extort as much as was sufficient for themselues ; but now they bribe and extort as much as may be enough , not only for themselues , but for the Iudges , and Iurours , and Magistrates .

192. Archidamus King of Lacedemon , hauing receiued from Philip King of Macedon , after Philip had won the victorie of Cheronea vpon the Athenians , proud Letters , writ backe to him ; That if hee measured his owne shadow , hee should finde it no longer now , then it was before his victorie .

193. Pyrrhus , when his Frends congratulated to him his victorie ouer the Romans , vnder the conduct of Fabricius , but with great slaughter of his owne side , said to them againe ; Yes , but if we haue such another victorie , wee are vndone .

194. Cineas was an excellent Oratour and States-man , and principall Frend & Counsellour to Pyrrhus ; And falling in inward talke with him , and discerning the Kings endlesse ambition , Pyrrhus opened himselfe to him ; That he intended first a warre vpon Italy , and hoped to atchieue it . Cineas asked him ; Sir , what will you doe then ? Then ( saith he ) wee will attempt Sicily . Cineas said ; Well Sir , what then ? Then ( saith Pyrihus ) if the Gods fauour vs , we may conquer Asfrick and Carthage . What then , Sir ? saith Cineas . Nay then ( saith Pyrrhus ) wee may take our rest , and sacrifice , and feast euerie day , and make merry withour Frends . Alas Sir ( said Cineas ) may we not doe so now , without all this adoe ?

195. The Embassadours of Asia Minor came to Antonius , after hee had imposed vpon them a double taxe , and said plainely to him ; That if he would haue two Tributes in one yeere , he must giue them two S●…ed-times , and two Haruests .

196. Plato was wont to say of his Master Socrates ; That hee was like the Apothecaries Galley-pots , that had on the outside Apes , and Owles , and Satyres , but within precious drugs .

197. Lamia the Curtisan had all power with Demetrius King of Macedon : And by her instigation he did many vniust & cruell Acts. Wherupon Lysimachus said ; That it was the first time , that euer hee knew a Whore play in a Tragedie .

198. The mistocles would say of himselfe ; That hee was like a Plaine Tree , that in Tempests men fled to him , and in faire wether , men were euer cropping his leanes .

199. The mistocles said of Speech ; That it was like Arras , that spred abroad shewes faire Images , but contracted , is but like packs .

200. Brisquet , Iester to Francis the first of France , did keepe a Kalender of Fooles ; wherewith he did vse to make the King sport ; telling him euer the reason , why hee put euerie one into his Kalender . So when Charles the fifth passed , vpon confidence of the noble nature of Francis , thorow France , for the appeasing of the rebellion of Gaunt , Brisquet put him into his Kalender . The King asking the cause , he sayd ; Because you hauing suffered at the hands of Charles , the greatest bitternesse that euer Prince did from other , hee would trust his person into your hands . Why Brisquet , ( said the King ) what wilt thou say , if thou seest him passe in as great safetic , as if it were thorow the midst of Spaine ? Saith Brisquet , Why then I will put out him , and put in you .

201. Lewis the cleuenth of France , hauing much abated the greatnesse and power of the Peeres , Nobilitie , and Court of Parliament , would say ; That hee had brought the Crowne out of Ward .

202. Sir Fulke Greuill , in Parliament , when the Lower House , in a great Businesse of the Queenes , stood much vpon Presidents , said vnto them ; Why should you stand so much vpon Presidents ? the times hereafter will be good or bad : If good , Presidents will doe no harme ; if bad , Power will make a way where it findes none .

203. When Peace was renewed with the French in England , diuerse of the great Counsellours were presented from the French with Iewells . The Lo. Henrie Ho ward was omitted . Whereupon the King said to him ; My Lo. How hap's it that you haue not a Iewell , as well as the rest ? My Lo. Henrie answered againe , ( alluding to the Fable in Aesope ; ) Non sum Gallus , itaque non reperi Gemmam .

204. An Oratour of Athens said to Demosthenes ; The Athenians will kill you , if they wax mad . Demosthenes replyed ; And they will kill you , if they bee in good sense .

205. Alexander sent to Phocyon a great Present of money . Phocyon said to the Messenger ; Why doth the King send to me , and to none else ? The Messenger answered ; Because hee takes you to be the onely good Man in Athens . Phocyon replyed ; If he thinke so , pray let him suffer mee to be good still .

206. Cosmus Duke of Florence was wont to say of perfidious Frends ; That wee reade , that we ought to forgiue our Enemies ; but we doe not reade , that wee ought to forgiue our Frends .

207. Aeneas Syluius , that was Pius Secundus , was wont to say ; That the former Popes did wisely , to set the Lawyers on worke , to debate , whether the Donation of Constantine the Gr●…at to Syluester , were good and valid in Law , or no ? The better to skip ouer the matter in fact , whether there were any such thing at all , or no ?

208. At a Banquet , where those that were called the Seuen Wise Men of Greece , were inuited by the Embassadour of a Barbarous King , the Embassadour related ; That there was a Neighbour King , mightier then his Master , pickt quarrells with him , by making impossible demands , otherwise threatning warre : And now at that present had demanded of him , to drinke vp the Sea . Whereunto one of the Wise Men said ; I would haue him vndertake it . Why ( saith the Embassadour ) how shall he come off ? Thus ; ( saith the Wise Man ) Let that King first stop the Riuers that runne into the Sea , which are no part of the Bargaine , and then your Master will performe it .

209. At the same Banquet , the Embassadour desired the Seuen , and some other Wise Men , that were at the Banquet , to deliuer euerie one of them some Sentence or Parable , that hee mought report to his King the wisdome of Grecia . Which they did . Onely one was silent . Which the Embassadour perceiuing , sayd to him ; Sir , let it not displease you , why doe not you say somewhat , that I may report ? Hee answered ; Report to your Lo. that there are of the Grecians , that can hold their peace .

210. One of the Romans said to his Frend ; What thinke you of such an one , as was taken with the manner in adulterie ? The other answered ; Marrie , I thinke , hee was slow at dispatch .

211. Lycurgus would say of diuerse of the Heroes of the Heathen ; That hee wondred that men should mourne vpon their dayes , for them , as mortall men , and yet sacrifice to them as Gods .

212. A Papist being opposed by a Protestant , that they had no Scripture for Images , answered ; Yes , for you reade , that the People layd their ficke in the streets , that the shadow of St. Peter mought come vpon them : And that a shadow was an Image : And the obscurest of Images .

213. There is an Ecclesiasticall Writer of the Papists , to proue Antiquitie of Confessio , in the forme that it now is , doth note , that in very ancient times , euen in the Primitiue times , amongst other foule slanders spred against the Christians , one was ; That they did adore the Genitories of their Priests . Which ( he saith ) grew from the posture of the Confessant , and the Priest in Confession : which is , that the Confessant kneeles downe , before the Priest fitting in a raised chaire aboue him .

214. Epaminondas , whe his great Frend and Colleague in warre , was Sutour to him , to pardon an Offender , denied him . Afterwards , when a Concubine of his made the same sute , hee granted it to her : Which when Pelopidas seemed to take vnkindely , hee sayd ; Such sutes are to bee granted to whores , but not to Personages of worth .

215. The Lacedemonians had in custome to speake verie short . Which , being in Empire , they mought doe at pleasure . But after their Defeat at Leuctra , in an Assembly of the Grecians , they made a long Inuectiue against Epa●…ondas ; who stood vp , and said no more , but this ; I am glad we haue taught you to speake long ,

216. Fabricius , in conference with Pyrrhus , was tempted to reuolt to him ; Pyrrhus telling him , that hee should bee Partner of his Fortunes , and second Person to him . But Fabricius answered , in a scorne , to such a motion ; Sir , that would not bee good for your selfe : For if the Epyrotes once know me , they will rather desire to bee gouerned by me , then by you .

217. Fabius Maximus being resolued to draw the warre in length , still waited vpon Hannibals progresse , to curbe him ; And for that purpose , hee encamped vpon the high Grounds . But Terentius his Collegue fought with Hannibal , and was in great perill of ouerthrow . But then Fabius came downe the high Grounds , & got the day : Whereupon Hannibal sayd ; That he did euer think , that that same Cloud that hanged vpon the Hills , would at one time or other , giue a Tempest .

218. There was a cowardly Spanish Souldier , that in a Defeat the Moores gaue , ran away with the foremost . Afterwards , when the Armie generally fled , this Souldier was missing Whereupon , it was sayd by some , that he was ●…saine . No sure , ( saith one ) he is aliue , for the Moores eat no ●…ares flesh .

219. Hanno the Carthaginian was sent Commissioner , by the ●…tate , after the second Carthaginian Warre , to Rome , to supplicate for peace , and in the end obtained it . Yet one of the sharper Senatours sayd ; You haue often broken with vs the Peaces , whereunto you haue beene sworne , I pray , by what Gods will you sweare ? Hanno answered ; By the same Gods , that haue punished the former periurie so seuerely .

220. Thales being asked , when a Man should marrie , sayd ; Young Men not yet , old Men not at all .

221. Thales sayd ; That ●…fe and Death were 〈◊〉 one . One that was ●…esent askt him ; Why doe not you die then ? Thales sayd againe ; Because they ●…e all one .

222. Caesar , after first he had possest Rome , Pompey being fled , offered to enter the sacred Treasurie , to take the Moneys that were there stored . Metellus , Tribune of the People , did forbid him . And when Metellus was violent in it , and would not desist , Caefar turned to him , and sayd ; Presume no further , or I will lay you dead . And when Metellus was with those words somewhat astonisht , Caesar added ; Young Man , it had beene easier ●…e to doe this , then 〈◊〉 speake it .

223. An Aegyptian Priest ●…uing conference with Solon , sayd to him ; You Grecians ●…e euer children ; you ●…e no Knowledge of ●…quitie , nor Antiqui●… of Knowledge .

224. The Counsell did make remonstrance to Queene Elizabeth , of the continuall Conspiracies against her Life : And namely , of a late one : And shewed her a Rapier , taken from a Conspiratour , that had a false chape , being of browne paper , but gilt ouer , as it could not be knowne from a chape of Mettall ; which was deuised , to the end , that without drawing , the Rapier mought giue a stab ; And , vpon this occasion , aduised her , that shee should goe lesse abroad to take the aire , weakly accompanied , as shee vsed . But the Queene answered ; That shee had rather be dead , then put in custodie .

225. Chilon would say ; That Gold was tried with the Touch-stone , and Men with Gold .

226. Zelim was the first of the Ottomans that did shaue his beard , whereas his Predecessours wore it long . One of his Basha's askt him ; Why be altred the custome of his Predecessours ? He answered ; Because , you Basha's , shall not leade me by the beard , as you did them .

227. Diogenes was one day in the Market-place , with a candle in his hand , And be●…ng askt ; What hee sought ? He sayd ; He sought a Man .

228. Bi●…s being asked ; How a Man should order his life answered ; As if a Man should liue long , or die quickly .

229. Queene Elizabeth was entertained , by my Lo. Burleigh at Theobalds : And at her going away , my Lo. obtained of the Queene , to make seuen Knights . They were Gentlemen of the Countrey , of my Lords Frends and Neighbours . They were placed in a rank , as the Queene should passe by the Hall ; And to winne Antiquitie of Knight hood , in order , as my Lo. fauoured ; though indeed the more principall Gentle-men were placed lowest . The Queene was told of it , and said nothing ; but when she went along , shee passed them all by , as far as the skreene , as if shee had forgot it : And when shee came to the skreene , she seemed to take herselfe with the maner , and sayd ; I had almost forgot what I promised . With that she turned backe , and knighted the lowest first , and so vpward Wherupon Mr. Stanhope of the Pri●… Chamber , a while after told her ; Your Maiestic was too fine for my Lo. B●…leigh . She answered ; I haue but fulfilled the Scrip●…re ; The first shall bee ●…st , and the last first .

230. Simonides being ●…sked of Hiero ; What hee thought of God ? ●…skt a Seuen-nights time , to consider of it . And at the Seuen-nights end , hee askt a Forthnights time . At the Forthnights end , 〈◊〉 Moneth . At which Hiero maruelling , Simonides answered ; That the longer hee thought on it , the more difficult he found it .

231. Anacharsis would say concerning the Popular Estates of Graecia ; That he wondred , how at Athens , Wise Men did propose , and Fooles did dispose .

232. Solon compared the People vnto the ●…ea , and Oratours to ●…he Windes ; For that ●…he Sea would be calme ●…nd quiet , if the Windes did not trouble it .

233. Socrates was pronounced by the Oracle of Delphos , to be the wisest Man of Greece ; which hee would put from himselfe , ironically saying ; There could bee nothing in him to verifie the Oracle , except this ; That he w●… not wise , and knew it ; and others were not wise , and knew it not .

234. Caro the Elder , what time many of the Romans had Statua's erected in their Honour , was askt by one in a kinde of wonder ; Why he had 〈◊〉 ? And answered ; ●…e had much rather , ●…en should aske , and ●…onder , why he had no 〈◊〉 , than why hee ●…ad a Statua .

235. Sir Fulke Greuill , had much and pri●…ate accesse , to Queen Elizabeth , which hee vsed honourably , & did many men good , yet he would say merrily of himselfe ; That hee was like Robin Goodfellow ; For when the Maides spilt the Milke-pans , or kept any racket , they would lay it vpon Robin : So what tales , the Ladies about the Queene , told her , or other bad offices , that they did , they would put it vpon him .

236. Socrates , when there was shewed him , the Booke of Heraclitus the Obscure , and was askt his opinion of it , answered ; Those things , that I vnderstood , were excellent , I imagine , so were those , that I vnderstood not : But they require a Diuer of Delos .

237. Bion askt an enuious Man , that was very sad ; What harme had befallen to him , or what good had be●…en to another Man ?

238. Stilpo , the Philosopher , when the people flocked about him , and that one said to him ; The people come wondring about you , as if it were , to see some strange Beast . No , ( saith he ) it is to see a Man , which Diogenes sought with his Lanthorne .

239. Antisthenes , being asked of one ; What Learning was most ne●…fary for Mans life ? answered ; To vnlearne that which is naught .

240. There was a politicke Sermon , that had no Diuinity in it , was preached before the King . The King , as he came forth , said to Bishop Andrewes ; Call you this a Sermon ? The Bishop answered ; And it please your Maiesty , by a charitable construction , it may be a Sermon .

241. Bishop Andrewes , was asked , at the first comming ouer of the Bishop of Spalato ; Whether he were a Protestant , or no ? He answered ; Truly , I know not , but hee is a Detestant , ; of diuers Opinions of Rome .

242. Caius Marius , was Generall of the Romans , against the Cimbers , who came , with such a Sea of Multitude , vpon Italy . In the fight , there was a Band of the Cadurcians , of a Thousand , that did notable seruice . Whereupon , after the fight , Marius did Denison them all , for Cittizens of Rome , though there was no Law to warrant it . One of his Friends , did represent it vnto him , that hee had transgressed the Law , because that priuiledge , was not to be granted , but by the People , Whereto Marius answered ; That for the noyse of Armes , hee could not heare the Lawes .

243. Aeneas Syluius would say ; That the Christian Faith and Law , though it had not ●…eene confirmed by Miracles , yet was worthy to bee receiued , for the Honesty thereof .

244 Henry Noel would say ; That Courtiers were like Fasting Daies ; They were next the Holy-daies , but in themselues , they were the most meager Daies , of the weeke .

245. Mr. Bacon would say ; That it was in Businesse , as it is commonly in wayes ; That the next way is commonly the foulest , and that if a Man will goe the fairest way , hee must goe somewhat about .

246. Augustus Caesar , out of great indignation , against his two Daughters , and Post●…umus Agrippa , his Grand-child ; whereof the first two were infamous , and the last otherwise vnworthy , would fay ; That they were not his Seed , but some Impostumes , that ●…ad broken from him .

247. Catosaid ; The best way , to keepe good Acts in memory , was to refresh them with now .

248. Poni●…ey did consum●…e the warre against . Sertorius , When M●…ellus had brought the Enemi●… some what low . H●… did also consummat the w●… against the Fugitiues , whom Crassus had before defeated in a great B●…taile . So when Lu●…llus , had had great ●…nd glorious Victo●…ies , against Mithri●…ates , and Tigranes , ●…er Pompey , by ●…eanes his Friends ●…ade , was sent , to ●…ut an end , to that ●…arre . Whereupon Lucullus , taking indignation , as a disgrace offered to himselfe , said ; That Pompey was a carrion 〈◊〉 , that when others had strooken downe Bodies , he came to prey vpon them .

249. Diogenes , when Mice came about him , as he was eating , said ; I see , that euen Diogenes nourisheth Parafites .

250. Epictetus vsed to say ; That one of the vulgar , in any ill that happens to him , blames ●…hers : A Nouice in ●…hilosophy , blames himselfe : And a philo●…opher , blames neither the one , nor the other .

251. Hiero , visited by Pythagoras , askthim ; Of what condition he was ? Pythagoras answered ; Sir , I kno●… you haue beene at the Olympian Games . Yes , saith Hiero. Thither ( faith Pythagoras ) come some , to win the Prizes . Some come to sell their Merchandize , because it is a kinde of Mart of all Greece . Some come , to meet their Friends , and make merry , because of the great confluence of all sorts . Others come onely to looke on . I am one of them , that come to looke on . Meaning it of Philosophy , and the Contemplatiue Life .

252. Mr. Bettenham vsed to say ; That Riches were like Mucke : When it lay , vpon an heape , it gaue but a stench , and ill odour ; but when it was spread vpon the ground , then it was cause of much fruit .

253. The same Mr. Bettenham said ; That tuous Men , were like some Herbs , and Spices , that giue not their sweet smell , till they bee broken , and crushed .

254. There was a Painter , became a Physician . Whereupon , one said to him ; You haue done well ; For before , the faults of your work were seene , but now they are vnseene .

255. One of the Philosophers was askt ; What a wise Man differed from a Foole ? He answered ; Send them both naked , to those that know them not , and you shall perceiue .

256. Caesar , in his Booke , that he made against Cato , ( which is lost , ) did write , to shew the force of Opinion , and Reuerence , of a Man , that had once obtained , a popular reputation ; That there were some , that found Cato drunke , and they were ashamed , in stead of Cato .

257. Aristippus , sayling in a Tempest , shewed signes of Feare . One of the Sea-men said to him , in an insulting manner ; Wee that are Plebeians , are not troubled , you , that are a Philosopher , are afraid . Aristippus answered ; There is not the like wager vpon it , for me to perish , and you ,

258. There was an Oratour , that defended a cause of Aristippus , and preuailed . Afterwards , he askt Aristippus ; Now , in your distresse , what did Socrates doe you good ? Aristippus answered ; Thus ; in making true , that good , which you said of me .

259. Aristippus said ; He tooke money of his Friends , not so much to vse it himselfe , as to teach them , how to bestow their money .

260. A Strumpet said to Aristippus ; That she was with child by him : Hee answered ; You know that no more , than , if you went through a Hedge of Thornes , you could say , This Thorne prickt me .

261. The La. Paget , that was very priuate with Queene Elizabeth , declared her selfe much , against her Match , with Monsieur . After Monsieurs Death , the Queene tooke extreame griefe ( at least as shee made shew ) And kept within her Bed-Chamber , and one Ante-Chamber , for 3. weekes space , in token of Mourning . At last , shee came forth , into her Priuy-Chamber , and admitted her Ladies , to haue accesse vnto her ; And amongst the rest , my La. Paget presented her selfe , and came to her , with a smiling countenace The Queene bent her browes , and seem'd to bee highly displeased , and said to her ; Madam , you are not ignorant , of my extreme griefe , and do you come to mee , with a countenance of ioy ? My Lady Paget answered ; Alas , and it please your Maiesty , it is impossible for me , to be absent from you 3 weekes , but that when I see you , I must looke cheerefully No , no , ( said the Queene , not forgetting her former auerlenesse from the Match ) You haue some other conceit in it ; Tell me plainely . My Lady answered ; I must obey you . It is this . I was thinking , how happy your Maiesty was , in that you married not Monsieur : For seeing , you take such thought , for his Death , being but your Friend , if he had beene your Husband , sure it would haue cost you your life .

262. Sir Edward Dyer , a graue and wise Gentleman , did much beleeue in Kelley the Alchymist ; That hee did indeed the worke , and made Gold : Insomuch , as hee went himselfe into Germany , where Kelly then was , to informe himselfe fully thereof . After his returne , he dined with my Lord of Canterbury , where , at that time , was at the Table , Dr. Browne the Phifician . They fell in talke of Kelley . Sir Edward Dyer , turning to the Archbishop , said ; I doe assure your Grace , that , that I shall tell you , is truth . I am an Eie-witnesse thereof , and if I had not seene it , I should not haue beleeued it . I saw Master Kelly put of the base Mettall into the Chrusible , and after it was set a little vpon the fire , and a verie small quantitie of the Medicine put in , and ●…tirr'd with a sticke of wood , it came forth in great proportion , perfect Gold , to the Touch , to the Hammer , to the Test. Said the Bishop ; You had need take heed , what you say , Sir Edward Dier , for heere is an Infidel at the Board . Sir Edward Dier said againe pleasantly ; I would haue lookt for in Infidell , sooner in any place , than at your Graces table . What say you Doctor Browne ? Saith the Bishop . Dr. Browne answered , after his blunt , and hudling manner ; The Gentleman hath spoken enough for me . Why , ( ●…aith the Bishop ) What hath hee said ? Marry , ( saith Doctor Browne ) he said , he would not haue beleeu'd it , except hee bad seene it ; And no more will I.

263. Democritus said ; That Truth did lie in profound pits , and when it was got , it needed much refining .

264. Dr. Iohnson said ; That in sicknesse there were three things , that were materiall : The Physician ; the Disease ; and the Patient . And if any two of these ioyned , then they haue the victorie : For , Ne Hercules quidem contra duos . If the Physician and the Patient ioyne , then downe goes the Disease ; for the Patient recouers . If the Physician and the Disease ioyne , then downe goes the Patient ; that is , where the Physician mistakes the cure . If the Patient and the Disease ioyne , then downe goes the Physician ; for hee is discredited .

265. Alexander visited Diogenes in his Tub. And when hee askt him ; What hee would desire of him ? Diogenes answered ; That you would stand a little aside , that the Sunne may come to me .

266. Diogenes said of a young Man that danced daintily , and wasmuch commended ; The better , the worse .

267. Diogenes called an ill Musician , Cocke . Why ? ( saith hee : ) Diogenes answered ; Because when you crow , Men vse to rise .

268. Heraclitus the Obscure sayd ; The drie Light was the best Soule . Meaning , when the Faculties Intellectuall are in vigour , not wet , nor , as it were , blouded by the Affections .

269. There was in Oxford a cowardly Fellow , that was a verie good Archer . Hee was abused grossely by another , and moaned himselfe to Walter Ralegh , then a Scholler , and askt his aduice ; What hee should doe to repaire the wrong had beene offred him ? Ralegh answered ; Why , challenge him at a match of ●…ting .

270. White head , a graue Diuine , was much esteemed by Queene Elizabeth , but not preferred , because hee was against the gouernment of Bishops . Hee was of a blunt Stoicall Nature . Hee came one day to the Queene , and the Queene happened to say to him ; I like thee the better , Whitehead , because thouliuest vnmarried . Hee answered againe ; In troth , Madam , I like you the worse for the same cause .

271. There was a Noble-man that was leane of visage , but immediately after his Marriage hee grew prettie plumpe & fat . One said to him ; Your Lop. doth contrarie to other married Men ; for they at the first wax leane , and you wax fat . Sir Walter Ralegh stood by , and sayd ; Why , there is no Beast , that if you take him from the Common , and put him into the Seuerall , but hee will wax fat .

272. Diogenes seeing one that was a Bastard , casting stones among the People , bade him take heed , He hit not his Father .

27 Dr. Lawd sayd ; That some Hypocrites , and seeming mortified men , that held downe their heads , were like little Images , that they place in the verie bowing of the vaults of Churches , that looke , as if they held vp the Church , but are but Puppets .

274. It was sayd among some of the graue Prelates of the Councell of Trent , in which the Schoole-Diuines bore the sway ; That the Schoole-men were like the Astronomers ; who , to saue the Phenomena , framed to their conceit Eccentricks , & Epicycles , and a wonderfull Engine of Orbes , though no such things were : So they , to saue the practise of the Church , had deuised a number of strange Positions .

275. It was also said by many , concerning the Canons of that Councell ; That wee are beholding to Aristotle for many Articles of our Faith .

276. The Lo. Henrie Howard , being Lo. Priuie Seale , was askt by the King openly at the Table , ( where commonly hee entertained the King ) vpon the sudden . My Lo , haue you not a desire to see Rome ? My Lo. Priuie Seale answered ; Yes indeed , Sir . The King sayd ; And why ? My Lo. answered ; Because , and it please your Maiestie , it was once the Seat of the greatest Monarchie : And the Seminarie of the brauest men in the world , amongst the Heathen : And then againe , because after it was the See of so many holy Bishops in the Primitiue Church , most of them Martyrs . The King would not giue it ouer , but sayd ; And for nothing else ? My Lo. answered ; Yes , and it please your Maiestie , for two things especially . The one , to see him , who they say hath such a power , to forgiue other mens sinnes , to confesse his owne sinnes vpon his knees , before a Chaplaine or Priest : And the other is , to heare Antichrist say his Creed .

277. There was a Noble-man sayd of a great Counsellour ; That hee would haue made the worst Farrier in the world , for he neuer shod horse , but hee cloyed him : so , he neuer commended any man to the King for seruice , or vpon occasion of sute , or otherwise , but that he would come in , in the end , with a But , and driue in a naile to his disaduantage .

278. There was a Ladie of the West Country , that gaue great Entertainment at her House to most of the gallant Gentlemen thereabout : And amongst others , Sir Walter Ralegh was one . This Lady , though otherwise a stately Dame , was a notable good Huswife ; and in the morning betimes , she called to one of her Maids , that lookt to the Swine , and askt ; Is the piggy serued ? Sir Walter Raleghs Chamber was fast by the Ladies , so as hee heard her . A little before dinner , the Ladie came downe , in great state , into the great chamber , which was full of Gentlemen : And as soone as Sir Walter Ralegh set eye vpon her ; Madam ( saith hee ) is the piggie serued ? The La. answered ; You know best , whether you haue had your Breakefast .

279. There was a Gentleman fell verie sicke , and a Frend of his said to him ; Surely you are in danger ; I pray send for a Physician . But the sicke man answered ; It is no matter , for if I die , I will die at leisure .

280. There was an Epicurean vaunted , that diuerse of other Sects of Philosophers , did after turne Epicureans , but there was neuer any Epicurean , that turned to any other Sect. Wherupon , a Philosopher , that was of another Sect , said ; The reason was plaine , for that Cocks may bee made Capons , but Capons could neuer be made Cocks .

FINIS .