The Fancies Chaste and Noble Ford, John This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A01049 of text S102425 in the English Short Title Catalog (STC 11159). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. Martin Mueller Incompletely or incorrectly transcribed words were reviewed and in many cases fixed by Nicole Sheriko Lydia Zoells This text has not been fully proofread EarlyPrint Project Evanston IL, Notre Dame IN, St.Louis, Washington MO 2017 Distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License A01049.xml The fancies, chast and noble presented by the Queenes Maiesties Servants, at the Phoenix in Drury-lane. Ford, John, 1586-ca. 1640. 40 600dpi TIFF G4 page images University of Michigan, Digital Library Production Service Ann Arbor, Michigan 2003 January (TCP phase 1) 99838210 STC (2nd ed.) 11159. Greg, II, 532. 2577 A01049 2240905818

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 The fancies, chast and noble presented by the Queenes Maiesties Servants, at the Phoenix in Drury-lane. Ford, John, 1586-ca. 1640. [6], 67 [i.e. 77], [1] p. Printed by E[lizabeth] P[urslowe] for Henry Seile, and are to be sold at his shop, at the Tygers Head in Fleetstreet, over-against Saint Dunstans Church, London : 1638. 1635

Anonymous. By John Ford.

Printer's name from STC.

P. 77 misnumbered 67.

Variant: lacking the comma after "fancies".

Reproduction of the original in the Bodleian Library.

 A01049 shc The Fancies Chaste and Noble Ford, John Nicole Sheriko Emily Andrey Anna White Lydia Zoells 1635 play comedy shc no A01049 S102425 (STC 11159). 84 23818 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.00 A This text has no known defects that were recorded as gap elements at the time of transcription. Incorporated ~ 10,000 textual changes made to the SHC corpus by Hannah Bredar, Kate Needham, and Lydia Zoells between April and July 2015 during visits, separately or together, to the Bodleian, Folger and Houghton Libraries as well as the Rare Book Libraries at Northwestern University and the University of Chicago Boston Public Library, PR2524.F35 1638

THE FANCIES Chast and Noble :

PRESENTED BY THE QUEENES Maiesties Servants , At the PHOENIX in Drury-lane .

FIDE HONOR .

LONDON , Printed by E. P. for Henry Seile , and are to be sold at his shop , at the Tygers Head in Fleetstreet , over-against Saint Dunstans Church . 1638 .

TO THE RIGHT NOBLE Lord , the Lord RANDELL MACKDONNELL , Earle of Antrim in the Kingdome of Ireland , Lord Viscount Dunluce . My Lord ,

PRINCES , and worthy personages of your owne eminence , have entertained Poems of this Nature , with a serious welcome . The Desert of their Authours might transcend mine , not their study of Service . A practice of Courtship to Greatnesse , hath not hitherto , in me , aym'd at any thrift : yet I have ever honored vertue , as the richest ornament to the Noblest Titles . Endeavour of being knowne to your Lordship , by such meanes , I conceive no Ambition ; the extent being bounded by Humilty : so neither can the Argument appeare ungracious ; nor the Writer , in that , without allowance . You enjoy ( my Lord ) the generall suffrage , for your freedome of merits : may you likewise please , by this particular presentment , amongst the number of such as I faithfully honor , those merits , to admit into your Noble construction ,

IOHN FORD.
To Master IOHN FORD, of the middle Temple, on his Fancies. I Follow faire Example, not report, Like wits of th'Vniversitie, or Court, To shew how I can write At mine owne charges, for the Times delight; But to acquit a debt, Due to right Poets, not the counterfeit. These Fancies chast and noble, are no straines Drop't from the itch of over-heated braines: They speake unblushing truth, The guard of Beauty, and the care of youth; Well relish't, might repayre An Academy, for the young, and faire. Such labours (friend) will live; for though some new Pretenders to the Stage, in hsat pursue Those Laurels which of old Enrich't the Actors: yet I can be bold, To say, Their hopes are sterv'd; For they but beg, what Pens approv'd deserv'd. EDW. GREENFIELD.
THE SCENE, SIEN A. Prologue. THE Fancies! that's our Play; in it is showne Nothing, but what our Author knowes his owne Without a learned theft; no servant here To some faire Mistris, borrowes for his eare, His locke, his belt, his sword, the fancied grace Of any pretty ribon; nor in place Of charitable friendship, is brought in A thriving Gamester, that doth chance to win A lusty summe, while the good hand doth ply him, And Fancies, this, or that, to him sits by him. His free invention runnes but in conceit Of meere imaginations: there's the hight Of what he writes, which if traduc'd by some, 'Tis well (he sayes) he's farre enough from home. For you, for him, for us, then this remaines; Fancie, your even opinions, for our paines.
ACT. I. Enter TROYLO SAVELLI , and LIVIO . TROYLO. DOe , doe , be wilfull , desperate , 't is manly , Build on your reputation , such a Fortune May furnish out your Tables , trim your liveries , Enrich your heirs , with purchase of a Patrimony Which shall hold out beyond the waste of riot , Sticke Honours on your Heraldry , with titles As swelling and as numerous , as may likely Grow to a pretty volume , here 's eternity , All this can reputation , marry can it , Indeed what not ? Livio . Such language from a Gentleman So noble in his quality as you are Deserves in my weake Iudgement rather pittie Then a contempt . Troylo. Could'st thou consider Livio The fashion of the times , their study , practice , Nay , their ambitions , thou would'st soone distinguish Betwixt the abject lownesse of a poverty , And the applauded triumph of abundance , Though compast by the meanest seruice , wherein Shall you betray your guilt to common censure , Waiving the private charge of your opinion By rising up to greatnesse , or at least To plenty which now buyes it . Livio Troylo-Savelli , Playes merrily on my wants , Troy . Troylo-Savelli . Speakes to the friend he loves , to his owne Livio , Looke prethee through the great Dukes Court in Florence , Number his favorites , and then examine By what steps some chiefe Officers in state Have reach't the heigh they stand in . Livio By their merrits . Troylo Right , by their merrits , well he merited Th' Intendments o're the Gallies at Ligorne , Made grand collector of the customes there , Who led the Prince unto his Wives chastebed , And stood himselfe by , in his night gowne , fearing The iest might be discovered : waste not handsome ? The Lady knowes not yet on 't . Livio . Most impossible . Troy . He merited well to weare a roabe of Chamlet , Who train'd his Brothers daughter ( scarce a girle ) Into the Armes of Mont-Angentorato , Whiles the young Lord of Telaxton her husband . Was packetted to France , to study courtship , Under forsooth a colour of employment , Employment , yea of honour , Liv. Y' are well read In misteries of state , Troy . Here in Sienna . Bold Iulio de Varana Lord of Camerine . Held it no blemish to his blood and greatnesse , From a plaine Merchant with a thousand Ducats To buy his wife , nay justifie the purchase , Procur'd it by a dispensation From Rome , allowed and warranted : t was thought By his Physitians , that she was a creature , Agreed best with the cure of the disease , His present new infirmity then labour'd in . Yet these are things in prospect of the world , Advanc'd imploi'd , and eminent . Liv. at best 'T is but a goodly pandarisme . Troy . Shrewd businesse . Thou child in thrift , thou foole of honesty , I' st a disparagement for gentlemen , For friends of lower ranck to doe the offices Of necessary kindnesse without see , For one another , courtesies of course , Mirthes of society , when petty mushroomes , Transplanted from their dunghils spread on mountaines . And passe for Cedars by their servile flatteries On great mens vices ? — Pander — th' art deceived , The word includes preferment , t is a title Of dignity , I could adde somewhat more else , Livio . Adde any thing of reason . Troylo. Castamela . Thy beautious sister like a precious Tissue , Not shapt into a garment fit for wearing , Wants the adornments of the Workemans cunning To set the richnesse of the piece at view , Though in her selfe all wonder . Come I le tell thee , Away there may be ( know I love thee Livio ) To fix this Iewell in a Ring of gold , Yet lodge it in a Cabanet of Ivory , White pure , unspotted Ivorie , put case Livio himselfe shall keepe the key on 't ? Livio Oh Sir , Create me what you please of yours , doe this , You are another Nature , Troy . Be then pliable . Enter Octavo , and Nitido . Troylo. Be then pliable To my first rules of your advancement — See , Octavio my good Uncle , the great Marquesse Of our Siena comes as we could wish In private — Noble Sir Oct. My bosomes Secretary , My dearest , best lov'd Nephew . Troylo. We have beene thirsty In our pursuit — Sir her 's a gentleman Desertfull of your knowledge , and as covetous Of entertainment from it , you shall honour Your judgment , to intrust him to your favours , His merits will commend it . Oct. Gladly welcome . Your own worth is a herald to proclaim it : For tast of your preferment , we admit you The chiefe provisor of our Horse . Livio . Your bounty Stiles me your ever servant . Troyo. Hee 's our owne , Surely , nay most perswadedly — my thanks Sir Owes to this just engagement . Oct. Slacke no time To enter on your fortunes — thou art carefull My Troylo in the study of a duty , His name is Livio ! Li. Livio my good Lord . Oct. Again y' are welcome to us , be as speedy Deare Nephew as th' art constant — men of parts , Fit parts and sound are rarelie to be met with , But being met with , therefore to be cherish'd , With love and with supportance , while I stand , Livio can no way fall — Yet once more welcome . Exit . Oct. Page . Troy . An honourable liberality , Timely dispos'd without delay or question , Commands a gratitude , is not this better Then waiting three or foure months at livory , With cup and knee unto this chaire of state , And to their painted Arras for a need From Goodman Usher , or the formall Secretary Especially the Iugler with the purse , That paies some shares , in all a yonger brother Sometimes an elder , not well trim'd i' th head-piece , May spend what his friends left in expectation , Of being turned out of service for attendance Or marry a waiting woman , and be damb'd for 't To open laughter , ( and what 's worth ) old beggerie , What thinkes my Livio of this rise at first ? Is 't not miraculous . Livio . It seemes the bargaine , Was driven before betweene yee . Troy . 'T was , and nothing Could void it , but the peevish resolution Of your dissent from goodnesse , as you call it , A Thin , a threadbare honesty , a vertue Without a living to 't . Liv. I must resolve To turne my sister whore , speake a homeword , For my old Batchelor — Lord , so , i' st not so ? A trifle in respect of present meanes , Here 's all — Troy . Be yet more confident , the slaverie Of such an abject office , shall not tempt The freedome of my spirit , stand ingenious To thine owne fate , and we will practise wisely Without the charge of scandall . Liv. May it prove so . Exeunt . Enter SECCO with a Castingbottle , sprinckling his Hatte and Face , and a little lookeing glasse at his Girdle , setting his Countenance . Secco .

Admirable incomparably admirable ! to be the minion , the darling , the delight of love , 't is a very tickling to the marrow , a kissing i' th blood , a bosoming the extasie , the rapture of virginity , soule and paradise of perfection — ah — pitty of generation Secco , there are no more such men .

Spa.

O yes , if any man , woman , or beast , have found , stolne , or taken up a fine , very fine male Barber , of the age of above or under eighteene more or lesse .

Sec.

Spadone , hold , what 's the noise ?

Spa.

Umh — pay the cryer , I have bin almost Iost my selfe in seeking you , heere 's a letter from —

Sec.

Whom , whom my deare Spadoue , whom ?

Spa.

Soft and faire , and you be so briefe , I 'le returne it whence it came , or looke out a new owner , O yes .

Sa.

Low , low , what dost meane , i' st from the glory of beauty , Morosa the fairest faire , be gentle to me , here 's a duccat , peake lowe prethe .

Spa.

Give me one , and take t'other , 't is from the party , Golden newes believe it .

Sec.

Honest Spadone divine Morosa .

Spa.

Fairest faire , quoth a , so is an old rotten Codled mungrell , parcell Bawde , parcell midwife , all the markes are quite out of her mouth , not the stumpe of a tooth left in her head , to mumble the curd of a Posset — Seignior 't is as I told yee , all 's right ,

Sec.

Right , just as thou tould'st me , all 's right ,

Spa.

To a very haire Seignior mio .

Sec.

For which Sirrah Spadone , I will make thee a man , a man , dost heare ? I say a man .

Spa.

Th' art a prickeard foyst , a citterne headed gew, gaw , a knacke , a snipper-snapper , twit mee with the decrements of my pendants , though I am made a gelding , and like a tame Buck have lost my Dowsets , more a monster then a Cuckold with his hornes seene , yet I scorne to be jeer'd by any checker , aproved Barbarian of yee all , make me a man , I defie thee .

Sec.

How now fellow , how now , roring ripe indeed ?

Spa.

Indeed ? Th' art worse , a drie shaver , a copper basand-suds-monger .

Sec.

Nay , nay , by my Mistresse faire eyes I meant no such thing .

Spa.

Eyes in thy belly , the reverend Madam shall know how I have beene used , I will blow my nose in thy casting bottle , breake the teeth of thy combes , poyson thy camphire Balls , slice out thy towels with thine owne razor , betallow thy tweezes , and urine in thy bason , make me a man ?

Sec.

Hold take another Duccat , as I love new cloathe ;

Spa.

Or cast old ones .

Sec.

Yes or cast old ones , I intended no injury .

Spa.

Good , we are piec'd againe , reputation , Seignior , is precious .

Sec.

I know it is .

Spa.

Old sores would not be rub'd .

Sec.

For me never .

Spa.

The Lady guardianesse , the mother of the Fancies , is resolved to draw with yee , in the wholesome of matrimony , suddenly .

Sec.

Shee writes as much , and Spadone , when wee are married .

Spa.

You will to bed no doubt .

Sec.

We will revell in such variety of delights .

Spa.

Doe miracles and get Babies .

Sec.

Live so sumptuously .

Spa.

In feather and old furres .

Sec.

Feed so deliciously .

Spa.

On Pap and Bulbeese .

Sec.

Enjoy the sweetnes of our yeers .

Spa.

Eighteene and threescore with advantage ,

Sec.

Tumble and wallow in aboundance .

Spa.

The pure christall puddle of pleasures .

Sec.

That all the world should wonder .

Spa.

A pox on them that envy yee .

Sec.

How doe the beauties ( my dainty knave ) live , wish , thinke , and dreame , sirrah ha .

Spa.

Fumble one with an other , on the gambos of imagination betweene their legs , eate they doe , and sleepe , game , laugh , and lye downe , as beauties ought to doe , there 's all .

Sec.

Commend me to my choisest , and tell her , the minute of her appointment shall be waited on , say to her , she shall find me a man at all points .

Enter NITIDO . Spa.

Why , there 's another quarrell , man , once more in spight of my nose .

Nit.

Away Secco away , my Lord cals , a' ha's a loose haire started from his fellowes , a clip of your art is commanded .

Sec.

I fly Nitido , Spadone remember me .

Exit . Nit.

Trudging betweene an old moyle , and a young Calfe , my numble intelligencer , what , thou fatten'st apace on Capon still ?

Spa.

Yes , crimpe , 't is a gallant life to bee an old Lords pimpe whiskin , but beware of the porters lodge , for carrying tales out of the schoole .

Nit.

What a terrible sight to a lib'd breech is a sow gelder ?

Spa.

Not so terrible as a crosse tree that never growes , to a wag-halter-Page .

Nit.

Good ! witty rascall , th' art a Satire I protest , but that the Nimphs need not feare the evidence of thy mortality , goe put on a cleane bib , and spinne amongst the Nuns , sing 'em a bawdy song , all the children thou ge'tst , shall bee christened in wassaile bowles , and turn'd into a college of men Midwives , farewell night-mare .

Spa.

Very , very well , if I dye in thy debt for this crackrope ) let me be buried in a cole-sacke , I 'le fit yee , ( apes face ) looke for 't .

Nit.

And still the Vrchin would , but could not doe .

sing . Spa.

Marke the end on 't , and laugh at last .

Exeunt . Enter Romanello and Castamela . Rom. Tell me you cannot love me , Chast. You importune Too strict a resolution , as a gentleman Of commendable parts , and faire deserts , In every sweet condition that becomes A hopefull expectation , I doe honour Th' example of your youth , but Sir our fortunes Concluded on both sides in narrow bands , Move you to conster gently my forbearance , In argument of fit consideration . Rom. Why Castamela , I have shapt thy vertues ( Even from our childish yeeres ) into a dowry Of richer estimation , then thy portion , Doubled an hundred times , can equall : now I cleerely find , thy current of affection Labours to fall into the guilt of riot , Not the free ocean of a soft content . You 'd marry pompe and plenty , 't is the Idoll ( I must confesse ) that creatures of the time , Bend their devotions to , But I have fashion'd Thoughts much more excellent of you . Cast. Enjoy your own prosperity , I am resolv'd , Never by any charge with me , to force A poverty upon yee , want of love . 'T is rarely cherish'd with the love of want . I le not be your undoing . Rom. Sure some dotage Of living stately , richly , lend a cunning To Eloquence . How is this piece of goodnesse Chang'd to ambition ? oh you are most miserable In your desires , the female curse ha's caught yee . Cast. Fie , fie , how il this suits . Rom. A Divell of pride , Ranges in airy thoughts to catch a starre , Whiles yee graspe mole-hils . Cast. Worse and worse I vow . Rom. But that some remnant of an honest sence , Ebbes a full tide of blood to shame , all women Would prostitute al honour to the luxurie of ease and titles . Cast. Romanello , know You have forgot the noblenesse of truth , And sixt on scandall now . Rom. A Dogge , a Parrot , A Monkey , a Caroach , a guarded lackey , A waiting woman with her lips seald up , Are pretty toyes to please my Mistresse wonton : So is a fiddle too , 't will make it dance , Or else be sicke and whine . Cast. This is uncivill . I am not Sir your charge . Rom. My griefe you are , For all my services are lost and ruin'd . Chast. So is my chiefe opinion of your worthinesse , When such distractions tempt yee , you would prove A cruell Lord , who dare , being yet a servant , As you professe , to bait my best respects Of duty to your welfare , 't is madnesse I have not oft observed , possesse your freedome . You have no right in me , let this suffice : I wish your joyes much comfort . Enter LIVIO fresh suited . Liv. Sister , looke yee , How by a new creation off my Taylors , I 've shooke off old mortality , the rags Of home spun Gentry ( prethee sister marke it ) Are cast by , and I now appeare in fashion Vnto men , and receiv'd , observe me sister , The consequence concernes you . Cast. True good Brother , For my well doing must consist in yours . Li. Heere 's Romanello , a fine temper'd gallant , Of decent carriage , of indifferent meanes , Considering that his sister , new hoist up , From a lost merchants warehouse , to the titles Of a great Lords-bed , may supply his wants Not sunck in his acquaintance , for a scholler Able enough , and one who may subsist Without the helpe of friends , provided alwayes , He flie not upon wedlocke without certainty Of an advancement , else a batchelor May thrive by observation on a little . As single life 's no burthen , but to draw In yoakes is chargeable , and will require A double maintenance , why I can live Without a wife , and purchase . Rom. I' st a mysterie ? Y 'ave lately found out Livio , or a cunning Conceal'd , till now for wonder ? Livio . Pish , believe it , Endevours and an active braine , are better Then patrimonies left by parents . Prove it , One thrives by cheating ; shallow fooles and unthrifts , Are game knaves onely slie at : then a fellow Presumes on his haire , and that his backe can toile For fodder from the City , lies : another Reputed valiant , lives by the sword , and takes up Quarrels or braves them , as the novice likes , To guild his reputation , most improbable . A wor'd of desperate undertakings , possibly , Procures some hungry meales , some taverne surfets , Some frippery to hide nakednesse : perhaps The scambling halfe a duccat now and then To rore and noyse it with the tatling hostesse , For a weekes lodging : these are pretty shifts , Soules bankerupt of their royalty submit to . Give me a man , whose practice and experience , Conceives not barely the Philosophers stone , But indeed ha's it , one whose wit 's his Indies . The poore is most ridiculous . Rom. Y' are pleasant In new discoveries of fortune ; use them With moderation , Livio . Cast. Such wilde language Was wont to be a stranger to your custome ; How ever , Brother , you are pleas'd to vent it , I hope for recreation . Li. Name and honour . What are they ? a meer sound without supportance , A begging chastity , youth , beauty , hansomnesse , Discourse , behaviour which might charm attention , And curse the gazers eyes into amazement ; Are Natures common bounties . So are Diamonds Uncut , so flowers unworne , so silke-wormes webs Unwrought , gold unrefin'd , then all those glories are of esteeme , when us'd and set at price , There 's no darke sence in this . Rom. I understand not The drift on 't , nor how meant , nor yet to whom . Cast. Pray Brother be more plaine . Liv. First Romanello , This for your satisfaction : if you waste More houres in courtship to this maid , my sister , Weighing her competency with your owne , You goe about to build without foundation ; So that care will prove void . Rom. A sure acquittance , If I must be discharged . Liv. Next Castamela , To thee ( my owne lov'd Sister ) let me say I have not beene so bountifull , in shewing To Fame , the treasure , which this age hath open'd , As thy true value merits . Cast. You are merry . Liv. My jealousie of thy fresh blooming yeeres , Prompted a feare of husbanding too charily Thy growth to such perfection , as no flattery Of are can perish now . Cast. Here 's talke in riddles . Brother , th' exposition ? Liv. I 'le no longer Chamber thy freedome , we have beene already Thrifty enough in our lowe fortunes , henceforth Command thy liberty , with that thy pleasures . Rom. Is 't come to this ? Cast. Y' are wondrous full of curtesie . Livio . Ladies of birth an I quality are suitors For being knowne t' ee , I have promised , sister , They shall partake your company . Cast. What Lady es , Where , when , how , who ? Liv. A day , a weeke , a month Sported amongst such beauties , is a gaine On time , th' are young , wife , noble , faire , and chast . Cast. Chast ? Livio . Castamela chast , I would not hazard My hopes , my joyes of thee , on dangerous triall . Yet if ( as it may chance ) a neat cloath'd merriment Passe without blush in tatling to the words , Fall not too broad , 't is but a pastime smil'd at Amongst your selves in counsaile , but beware Of being over-heard . Cast. This is pretty . Rom. I doubt I know not what yet must be silent . Enter TROYLO , FLORIA , CLARELLA , SILUIA and NITIDO . Li. They come as soon as spoke of — sweetest faire-ones My sister cannot but conceive this honour Particular in your respects : Deare sir You grace us in your favours . Troy . Vertuous Lady . Flo. We are your servants . Clar. Your sure friends . Sil. Society , May fix us in a league . Cast. All fitly welcome . I find not reason ( gentle Ladyes ) whereon To cast this debt of mine , but my acknowledgement Shall study to pay thankfulnesse . Troy . Sweet beauty , Your Brother hath indeed beene too much churle In this concealement from us all , who love him , Of such desir'd a presence . Sil. Please to enrich us With your wish'd amity . Flo. Our coach attends ; We cannot be deny'd : Clar. Command it Nitido . Nit. Ladies , I shall , now for a lusty harvest . 'T will prove a cheap yeare , should these barnes be fil'd once , Cast. Brother one word in private . Livio . Phew — anon I shall instruct at large . — we are prepar'd And easily intreated ; 't is good manners Not to be troublesome . Troy . Thou art perfect Livio . Cast. Whether — but — hee 's my brother . Troy . Faire , your arme . I am your Usher Lady . Cast. As you please sir . Liv. I waite you to your coach , Some two houres hence . I shall returne againe . Exeunt . Rom. Troylo-Savelli , Next heire unto the marquesse ? and the Page too ? The Marquesses owne page , Livio transform'd Into a suddaine bravery , and alter'd In Nature , or I dreame ? amongst the Ladies , I not remember I have seene one face . There 's cunning in these changes , I am resolute , Or to pursue the trick on 't , or lose labour . Exeunt .
Actus II. Enter FLAVIO supported by CAMILLO , and VESPUCI . Flavia. Not yet return'd . Cam. Madam . Fla. The Lord our husband , We meane , unkind ! foure houres are almost past , ( But twelve short minutes wanting by the glasse ) Since we broke company , was never ( gentlemen ) Poore Princesse us'd so ? Ves. With your gracious favour , Peeres great in ranck and place , ought of necessity To attend on state employments . Cam. For such duties , Are all their toyle and labour , but their pleasures Flow in the beauties they injoy , which conquers All sence of other travaile . Fla. Trimly spoken . When we were common , mortall , and a subiect , As other creatures of heavens making are , ( the more the pitty ) blesse us ! how we waited For the huge play day when the Pageants flutter'd About the City , for we then were certaine , The Madam courtiers , would vouchsafe to visit us , And call us by our names , and eate our viands : Nay give us leave to sit at the upper end of our owne Tables , telling us how welcome They'd make us , when we came to Court : full little Dream't I at that time of the wind that blew me Up to the Weathercocke of th' honours , now Are thrust upon me , but we beare the burthen , Were 't twice as much as 't is , the next great feast , Wee 'l grace the City wives ( poore soules ) and see How they 'le behave themselves , before our presence . You two shall wait on us . Ves. With best observance , And glory in our service . Cam. Wee are creatures Made proud in your commands . Fla. Beleeve 't you are so And you shall find Vs readier in your pleasures , Then you in your obedience , fie methinks I have an excellent humor to be pettish ; A little toysome , 't is a pretty signe Of breeding , i' st not sirs ? I could indeed la , Long for some strange good things now . Cam. Such newes , Madam . Would over-joy my Lord your husband . Ves. Cause Bonfires and bell ringings Fla. I must be with childe then , And 't be but for the publique Iollity , Or lose my longings , which were mighty pitty . Cam. Sweet fates forbid it . Enter Fabricio . Fab. Noblest Lady — Ves. rudenesse Keepe off , or I shal — sawcy groome , learn manners , Goe swab amongst your Goblins . Fla. Let him stay , The fellow I have seene , and now remember His name , Fabricio . Fab. Your poore Creature Lady ; Out of your gentlenesse , please you to consider The briefe of this petition , which containes All hope of my last fortunes . Fla. Give it from him . Cam. Here Madam — marke Vespuci , how the Wittol stares on his sometime wife ! sure he imagines To be a cuckold , by consent , is purchase Of appprobation in a state . Ves. Good reason . The gaine repriev'd him from bankerours statute , And fil'd him in the charter of his freedome . Shee had seene the fellow , didst observe . Cam. Most punctually . Could call him by his name too , why 't is possible , Shee ha's not yet forgot a' was her husband . Ves. That were strange , oh 't is a precious trincket . Was ever puppet so slipt up ? Cam. The tale Of Venus Cat ( man ) chang'd into a woman , Was embleme but to this , she turnes . Vef 'A stands just like Action in the painted cloth Cam. No more . Fla. Friend we have read , and weighed the sum Of what your Scrivener , which in effect Is meant your counsell learned , ha's drawn for yee : 'T is a faire hand insooth , but the contents Somewhat vnseasonable , for let us tell yee , Y 'ave beene a spender , a vaine spender , wasted Your stocke of credit , and of Wares unthriftily . You are a faulty man , and should we urge Our Lord as often for supplies , as shame , Or wants drive you to aske , it might be construed An impudence , which we desie , an Impudence , Base in base Women , but in Noble sinfull . Are yee not asham'd yet of your selfe ? Fab. Great Lady , Of my misfortunes I am asham'd . Cam. So , so , This jeere twangs roundly , doe's it not Vespuci ? Ves. Why heere 's a Lady worshipfull . Fla. Pray gentlemen , Retire awhile ; this fellow shall resolve Some doubts that stick about me . Ambo . As you please . Exeunt . Fla. To thee Fabricio , oh the change is cruell Since I find some small leisure , I must justifie , Thou art unworthy of the name of man . These holy vowes , which we by bonds of Faith , Recorded in the register of Truth , Were kept by me unbroken , no assaults Of guists of courtship from the great and wanton , No threats , nor sence of poverty ( to which Thy riots had betray'd me ) could betray My warrantable thoughts , to impure folly . Why wouldest thou force me miserable ? Fab. The scorne Of rumor , is reward enough , to brand My lewder actions , 't was I thought impossible , A beauty fresh as was your youth , could brooke The last of my decayes , Fla. Did I complaine ? My sleeps between thine arms , were even as sound , My dreames as harmelesse , my contents as free , As when the best of plenty crown'd our bride bed . Amongst some of a meane , but quiet fortune , Distrust of what they call their owne , or Iealousie Of those whom in their bosomes they possesse Without controule , begets a selfe unworthinesse ; For which feare , or what is worst desire , Or paultry gaine , they practise art , and labor to Pander their own wives : those wives whose innocence Stranger to language , spoke obedience onely , And such a wife was Flavia to Fabritio . Fab. My losse is irrecoverable . Fla. Call not Thy wickednesse thy losse ; without my knowledge Thou souldst me , and in open court protestdest A precontract unto another , falsly To justifie a separation , wherein Could I offend to be believ'd thy Strumpet , In best sence an Adulteresse ? so conceav'd In all opinions , that I am shooke off , Even from mine own blood , which although I boast Not Noble , yet 't was not meane , for Romanello Mine onely brother , shunnes me , and abhors To owne me for his sister . Fab. 'T is confest , I am the shame of mankind . Fla. I live happy In this great Lords love , now , but could his cunning Have train'd me to dishonour , we had never Beene sunder'd by 'th temptation of his purchase . Introth Fabritio , I am little proud of My unsought honours , and so farre from triumph , That I am not more foole , to such as honour me , Then to my selfe , who hate this antique carriage ! Fab. You are an Angell rather to be worshipt , Then grosly to be talked with . Fla. Keepe those Duccats ; I shall provide you better : 't were a bravery , Could you forget the place wherein y 'ave render'd Your name for ever hatefull . Fab. I will doo 't , Doo 't excellentest goodnesse , and conclude My dayes in silent goodnesse . Fla. You may prosper In Spaine , in France , or elsewhere , as in Italie . Besides , you are a scholer bred , however You interrupted study with commerce , I le think of your supplies , mean time , pray , storm not At my behaviour t' ee , I have forgot acquaintance With mine owne — keepe your first distance — Enter Iulio , Camillo , Vespuci Camillo , who is neere , Vespuci . Iul. What , Our Ladies cast familier . Fla. Oh my stomach Wambles at fight of — sicke , sicke , I am sicke — I saint at heart — kisse me , nay prethee quickly , Or I shall sown — y 'ave staid a sweet while from me . And this companion to — beshrew him . Iu. Dearest , Thou art my health , my blessing — turne the banquerout out of my dores — sirrah , I le have thee whipt . If thou comst here againe . Cam. Hence , hence you vermine . Exit Fa. Iu. How i' st my best of joyes ? Fla. Prettily mended . Now we have our owne Lord here : I shall never Endure to spare you long out of my sight . See what the thing presented . Iu. A petition , Belike for some new charity . Fla. We must not Be troubled with his needs , a wanting creature Is monstruous , is as ominous — fie , upon 't . Dispatch the silly Mushroome once for all , And send him with some pittance out o' th countrey , Where we may heare no more of him . Iu. Thy will shall stand a law , my Flavia , Flav. You have beene In private with our fellow Peeres now : shanot we Know how the businesse stands , sure in som countrey , Ladies are privy Counsellors , I warrant yee : Are they not thinke yee ? there the land is ( doubtlesse ) Most politickly govern'd ; all the women We are swords and Breeches , I have heard most certainely , Such sights were exc'lent . Iul. Th' art a matchlesse pleasure : Noe life is sweet without thee , in my heart Raigne Empresse , and be stil'd thy Iulio's Soveraigne . My onely , precious deare : Fla. Wee 'l prove no less t' ee . Exeunt . Enter Troylo and Livio . Troy . Sea sicke a shore still ? thou couldst rarely scape A Calenture in a long voyage , Livio , Who in a short one , and at home art subject To such faint stomacke qualmes , no cordials comfort The businesse of thy thoughts , for ought I see : What ayles thee ( man ) be merry , hang up Iealousies . Liv. Who , I , I jealous ? no , no , heere 's no cause In this place 't is a nunnerie , a retirement For meditation , all the difference extant But puzzles , onely barre beliefe , not grounds it , Rich services in place ! soft and faire lodgings , Varieties of recreations , exercise Of musique in all changes ? neate attendance ? Princely , nay royall furniture of garments ? Saciety of gardens , orchards , water workes , Pictures so ravishing , that ranging eyes , Might dwell upon a dotage of conceit , Without a single wish for livelier substance ? The great world in a little world of Fancie , Is here abstracted : noe temptation profer'd But such as fooles and mad folkes can invite to ? And yet — Troy . And yet your reason cannot answer Th' objections of your feares , which argue danger . Liu. Danger ? dishonour , Troylo : were my sister In safety from those charmes , I must confesse I could live here for ever . Troy . But you could not . I can assure yee , for 't were then scarce possible , A dore might open t' ee , hardly a loope-hole , Liv. My presence then is usher to her ruine , And losse of her , the fruit of my preferment . Troy . Briefly partake a secret , but be sure To lodge it in the inmost of thy bosome , Where memory may not find it for discovery ; By our firme truth of friendship , I require thee . Liv. By our firme truth of friendship , I subscribe To just conditions . Troy . Our great Vncle Marquesse , Disabled from his Cradle , by an impotence In nature first , that impotence , since seconded And rendred more infirme , by a fatall breach Receiv'd in fight against the Turkish Gallies Is made uncapable of any faculty , Of active manhood , more then what affections Proper unto his Sex , must else distinguish : So that no helpes of art can warrant life , Should he transcend the bounds his weaknes limits . Li. On , I attend with eagernesse . Troy . 'T is strange , Such naturall defects at no time checks A full and free sufficiency of spirit ; Which flowes , both in so cleare and fixt a strength , That to confirme beliefe ( it seemes ) where nature Is in the body lame , she is suppli'd In fine proportion of the minde , a word Concludes all ; to a man his enemy , He is a dangerous threatning : but to women , How ever pleasurable , no way cunning To shew abilities of friendship , other Then what his outward sences can delight in , Or charge and bounty court with . Liv. Good , good — Troylo , Oh that I had a lusty Faith to credit it , Though none of all this wonder should be possible . Troy . As I love honour , and an honest name , I faulter not ( my Livio ) in one sillable , Liv. Newes admirable , 't is , 't is so — pish I know it , Yet 'a has a kind heart of his owne to girles , Young , handsome Girles ; yes , yes , so a' may , T is granted — a' wod now and then be pidling , And play the wanton , like a flie that dallies About a candles flame : then scorch his wings , Drop downe , and creepe away , ha ? Troy . Hardly that too ; To looke upon fresh beauties , to discourse In an unblushing merriment of words , To heare them play or sing , and see them dance , To passe the time in pretty amorous questions , Read a chast verse , of love , or prattle riddles , Is th' height of his temptations . Liv. Send him joy on 't . Troy . His choices are not of the courtly trayne ; Nor Citties practice ; but the countries innocence , Such as are gentle-borne , not meanely ; such , To whom both gawdinesse and apelike fashions Are monstrous ; such as cleanelinesse and decency , Prompt to a vertuous envy , such as study A knowledge of no danger , but themselves . Liv. Well , I have liv'd in ignorance : the ancients , Who chatted of the golden age , fain'd trifles . Had they dream't this , they would have truth'd it heaven . I meane an earthly heaven , lesse it is not . Troy . Yet is this Batchelor miracle not free From the epidemical head-ach . Liv. The Yellowes . Troy . Huge jealous fits , admitting none to enter But me , his page , and Barber , with an Eunuch , And an old guardianesse , it is a favour Not common , that the licence of your visits , To your owne sister , now and then is wink 't at . Liv. But why are you his instrument , his Nephew ? T is ominous in nature . Troy . Not in policy . Being his heire , I may take truce a little , With mine owne fortunes . Liv. Knowing how things stand too . Troy . At certaine seasons , as the humor takes him , A set of musicke are permitted peaceably , To cheare their solitarinesse , provided Tu' are strangers , not acquainted neere the city , But never the same twice , pardon him that ; Nor must their stay exceed an houre , or two At farthest ; as at this wise wedding , wherfore His Barber is the master to instruct The lasses both in Song and Dance , by him Train'd up in either quality . Liv. A caution happily studied . Troy . Farther to prevent Suspition , a' has married his young Barber To the old Matron , and withall is pleased , Report should mutter him a mighty man For th' game , to take off all suspition Of insufficiency , and this strickt company A' cals his bower of Fancies . Liv. Yes and properly , Since all his recreations are in Fancy . I 'me infinitely taken — sister ? marry Would I had sisters in a plenty , Troylo , So to bestow them all , and turne them Fancies . Fancies ? Why 't is a pretty name methinks . Troy . Something remaines , which in conclusion shortly . Song . Shall take thee fuller — Harke , the wedding jollity ! With a Bride-cake on my life , to grace the nuptials ! Perhaps the Ladies will turne Songsters . Liv. Silence . Enter Secco , Castamela , Floria , Clarella , Silvia , Morosa , and Spadone . Sec.

Passing neat and exquisite , I protest faire creatures ; These honours to our solemnity , are liberall and uncommon ; my spouse and my selfe with our posterity , shall prostitute our services , to your bounties , shal s not duckling ?

Mor.

Yes honey suckle , and doe as much for them one day , if things stand right as they should stand , Bill , Pigeon doe ; thou 'st be my Cattamountaine , and I thy sweet bryer , Honey , wee 'l lead you to kind examples ( pretty ones ) believe it , and you shall find us , one in one , whiles hearts doe last .

Sec. Ever mine owne , and ever . Spa. Well said old Touch hole . Liv. All happinesse , all joy . Troy . A plenteous issue , A fruitfull wombe — Thou hast a blessing Secco . Mor.

Indeed a' ha's Sir , if yee know all , as I conceive you know enough , if not the whole : for you have ( I may say ) tryed me to the quick , through and through , and most of my carriage , from time to time .

Spa.

'T would wind-break a moyle , or a ring'd mare , to vie burthens with her .

Mor.

What 's that you mumble , Gelding , shey .

Spa.

Nothing forsooth , but that y' are bouncing couple well met , and 't were pitty to part yee , though you hung together in a smoakie chimney .

Mor.

'T were eene pitty indeed , Spadone , nay tha 'st a foolish loving nature of thine own , and withelt wel to plaine dealings o' my conscience .

Spa. Thank your Brideship — your Bawdship . Flo. Our sister is not merry . Cla. Sadnesse cannot Become a Bridall harmony . Sil. At a wedding , free spirits are required . Troy . You should dispence With serious thoughts , now Lady . Mor. Well said Gentlefolks . Liv. Fie Castamela fie , Om. A dance , a dance . Troy . By any meanes , the day is not compleat else . Cast. Indeed He be excus'd , Troy . By no meanes , Lady . Sec. We are all suitors . Cast. With your pardons , spare me For this time , grant me licence to looke on . Command your pleasures , Lady , — every one hand Your Partner — nay , Spadone , must make one . These merriments are free . Spa. With all my heart , I 'me sure I am not the heaviest In the company . Strike up for the honour of the Bride and Bridegroome . Dance . Troy . So , so , here 's art in motion : on all parts , Yee have bestir'd yee nimbly , Mor. I could dance now , Evne till I dropt againe ; but want of practice Denies the scope of breath or so , yet sirrah , My Cattamountaine , doe not I trip quickly , And with a grace too , sirrah . Sec. Light as a feather . Spa.

Sure you are not without a stick of Licorice in your pocket forsooth ; you have I believe stout lungs of your owne , you swim about so roundly without rubs ; 't is a tickling sight to be young still .

Enter NITIDO . Nit.

Madam Morosa ?

Mor.

Childe .

Nit.

To you in secret .

Spa.

That eare-wig scatters the troope now , I le goe neer to fit 'em .

Liv.

My Lord upon my life .

Troy .

Then we must sever .

Mor.

Ladies and gentlemen , your eares .

Spa.

Oh 't was ever a wanton monkey — a' will wriggle into a starting hole so cleanely — and it had bin on my wedding day , — I know what I know .

Sec.

Saist so Spadone ?

Spa.

Nothing , nothing , I prate sometimes beside the purpose , whoreson lecherous weezill ?

Sec.

Looke , looke , looke how officious the litle knave is — but —

Spa.

Why ? there 's the businesse , Buts on ones forehead , are but scurvie Buts .

Mor.

Spadone , discharge the fidlers instantly .

Spa.

Yes , I know my postures-oh monstruous Buts .

Exit . Mor. Attend within , Sweeting , — your pardons Gentlemen ; to your recreations deare virgins : Page have a care , Nit. My duty reverend Madam . Troy . Livio away — sweet beauties . Cast. Brother . Liv. Suddenly I shall returne , 'enow for a round temptation . Mor. One gentle word in private with your Ladiship . I shal Not hold you long . Ex. severally Morosa staies Castamela . Cast. What meanes this huddle Of flying severall wayes thus ? who ha's frighted 'em ? They live not at devotion here , or pension ! Pray quit me of distrust . Mor. May it please your Goodnesse , You 'l find him even in every point as honourable , As flesh and bloud can vouch him : Cast. Ha , him ? whom ? What him ? Mor. He will not presse beyond his bounds . He will but chat and toy , and feele your — Cast. Guard me , A powerfull Genius ! feele — Mor. Your hands to kisse them . Your faire , pure , white hands , what strange businesse is it ? These melting twins of Ivory , but softer Then downe of Turtles , shall but feede the appetite — Cast. A rape upon my eares . Mor. The appetite Of his poore ravisht eye ; should he swell higher In his desires , and soare upon ambition Of rising in humility , by degrees ; Perhaps a' might crave leave to clap — Cast. Fond woman , In thy grave sinfull , Mor. Clap or pat the dimples , Where Loves tombe stands erected on your cheekes . Else pardon those slight exercises , pretty one , His Lordship is as harmelesse a weake implement , As ere young Lady trembled under . Cast. Lordship ! ( Stead me my modest anger ) 't is belike then Religious matron ) some great mans prison , Where Virgins honours suffer Martyrdome . And you are their tormentor ; let 's lay downe Our ruin'd names to the insulters mercy ! Let 's sport and smile on scandall ( rare calamity , What hast thou toyl'd me in ? ) you nam'd his Lordship , Some gallant youth and fiery ? Mor. No , no deed la . A very grave stale Batchelor ( my dainty one ) There 's the conceit : Hee 's none of your hot rovers , Who ruffle at first dash , and so disfigure Your Dresses , and your sets of blush at once . Hee 's wise in yeeres , and of a temperate warmth ; Mighty in meanes and power : and withall liberall . A wanton in his wishes , but else , farther , A' cannot — cause — a' cannot . Cast. Cannot , prethee , Be plainer : I begin to like thee strangely . What cannot ? Mor. You urge timely , and to purpose , A' cannot doe — the truth is truth — doe , any thing , ( As one should say ) that 's any thing , put case ( I doe but put the case forsooth ) a' finde yee . Cast. My stars I thank yee , for being ignorant , Of what this old in mischiefe can intend . And so we might be merry , bravely merry . Mor. You hit it — what else — she is cunning — looke yee , Pray lend your hand forsooth . Cast. Why prethee take it . Mor.

You have a delicate moyst palme — umh — can yee rellish that tickle ? there .

Cast. And laugh if need were . Mor. And laugh , why now you have it , what hurt pray Perceive yee ? there 's all , all , goe to , you want tutoring , Are an apt scholar , I le neglect no paines For your instruction . Cast. Doe not , but his Lordship , What may his Lordship be ? Mor. No worse man Then marquesse of Siena , the great Master Of this small familie , your master found him , A bounteous benefactor , has advanc'd him , The gentleman o' th horse , in a shott time He meanes to visit you himselfe in person , As kind , as loving , an old man . Cast. Wee 'l meet him With a full flame of welcome , i' st the Marquesse ? No worse ? Mor. No worse I can assure your Ladiship , The onely free maintainer of the Fancies . Cast. Fancies ? How meane yee that . Mor. The pretty soules Who are companions in the house , all daughters To honest vertuous parents , and right worshipfull . A kind of chaste collapsed Ladies . Cast. Chast too , and yet collapsed ? Mor. Onely in their fortunes . Cast. Sure I must be a Fancie in the number . Mor. A Fancie principall , I hope you 'le fashion Your entertainment , when the Marquesse courts you , As that I may stand blamelesse . Cast. Free suspition . My Brothers rayser ? Mor. Meerely . Cast. My supporter ? Mor. Undoubtedly . Cast. An old man and a lover ? Mor. True , there 's the Musick , the content , the harmony . Cast. And I my selfe a Fancy ? Mor. You are pregnant . Cast. The chance is throwne , I now am fortunes minion , I will be bold and resolute . Mor. Blessing on thee . Exeunt .
Actus III . Enter ROMANELLO . Rom. Prosper me now my fate ; some better genius Then such a one , as waits on troubled passions , Direct my courses to a noble issue . My thoughts have wander'd in a labyrinth , But if the clew I have laid hold on , faile not , I shall tred out the toyle of these darke paths In spight of politique reaches — I am punish'd In mine owne hopes , by her unluckie fortunes , Whose fame is ruin'd ; Flavia , my lost sister ! Lost to report , by her unworthy husband , Enter Nitido . Though hightned by a greatnes , in whose mixtures , I hate to claime a part — Oh welcome , welcome , Deere boy ! thou keep'st time with my expectations As justly , as the promise of my bounties Shall reckon with thy service . Nit. I have fashion'd the meanes of your admitance . Rom. Pretious Nitido . Nit. More , have bethought me of a shape , a quaint one , You may appeare in , safe and unsuspected . Rom. Th' art an ingenious boy . Nit. Beyond all this ; Have so contriv'd the feate , that at first sight , Troylo himselfe shall court your entertainment : Nay , force you to vouchsafe it . Rom. Th' ast out done all counsaile , and all cunning . Nit. True , I have sir Fadg'd nimbly in my practises : but surely , There are some certaine clogs , some roguish staggers , Somewhat shall I call em in the busines ? Rom. Nitido , What faint now ? deare heart beare up , what staggers , What clogs ? let me romove 'em . Nit. Am I honest In this discovery ? Rom. Honest , pish is that all ? By this rich purse , and by the twenty ducats Which line it , I will answer for thy honesty , Against all Italie , and prove it perfect , Besides , remember , I am bound to secrefie . thou 't not betray thy selfe . Nit. All feares are clear'd then . But if — Rom. If what ? out with 't . Nit. If w' are discover'd , You 'le answer I am honest still ? Rom. Dost doubt it ? Nit. Not much ; I have your purse in pawne for t . Now to the shape , and know the wits in Florence , Who in the great Dukes court , buffoones his complement , According to the change of meates in season , At every free Lords table , Rom. Or free meetings In Tavernes , there a' sits at the upper end , And eates , and prates , a' cares not how nor what . The very quaik of fashions , the very hee that Weares a Steletto on his chinne . Nit. You have him . Like such a thing must you appeare , and study Amongst the Ladies in a formall foppery , To vent some curiosity of language , Above their apprehensions , or your owne , Indeed beyond sence , you are the more the person . Now amorous , then scurvie , sometimes bawdy , The same man still , but evermore phantasticall , As being the suppositor to laughter : It hath sav'd charge in physick . Rom. When occasion Offers it selfe ( for where it do's or not , I will be bold to take it ) I may turne To some one in the company ; and changing My Method talke of state , and rayle against Th' imployment of the time , mislike the carriage Of places , and mislike that men of parts , Of merit , such as my selfe am , are not Thrust into publike action : 't will set off A privilege I challenge from opinion , With a more lively current . Nit. On my Modesty , You are some kin to him — Seignior Prugnioli ! Seignior Mushrumpo ! Leape but into his anticke garbe , and trust me You 'le fit it to a thought . Rom. The time ? Nit. As suddenly As you can be transform'd , — for the event , 'T is pregnant . Rom. Yet my pretty knave , thou hast not Discover'd where faire Castamela lives ; Nor how , nor amongst whome . Nit. Pish , it more Queres , ? Till your owne eyes informe , be silent , else Take backe your earnest , what , turne woman ? fie ; Be idle and inquisitive ? Rom. No more . I shall be speedily provided , aske for A note at mine owne lodging . Exit . Nit. I le not fayle yee , Assuredly , I will not fayle you Seignior ; My fine in amorato — twenty duccats ? Th' are halfe his quarters incombe — love , oh love , What a pure madnesse art thou ? I shall fit him , Fit , quit and split him too — most bounteous sir . Enter Troylo. Troy . Boy , thou art quicke and trustie , Be withall close and silent , and thy paines Shall meet a liberall addition . Nit. Though sir , I 'me but a child , yet you shall find me — Troy . man In the contrivements ; I will speake for thee . Well 'a does relish the disguise ! Nit. Most greedily Swallowes it with a licourish delight : Will instantly be shap't in 't instantly , And on my conscience , sir , the supposition Strengthned by supposition , will transform him Into the beast it selfe 'a do's resemble . Troy . Spend that , and looke for more boy . Nit. Sir , it needs not : I have already twenty Ducats pursed In a gay case , alas sir , to you , my service Is but my duty . Troy . Modestie in Pages Shewes not a vertue , boy , when it exceeds Good manners . Where must we meet ? Nit. Sir at 's lodging , Or neere about : he will make haste beleeve it . Troy . Waite th' opportunity , and give me notice . I shall attend . Nit. If I misse my part , hang me . Exit . Enter Vospuci and Camillo . Ves. Come th' art caught Camillo . Cam. Away , away , That were a jest indeed ; I caught ? Ves. The Lady Does scatter glances , wheeles her round , and smiles ; Steales an occasion to aske how the minutes Each houre have runne in progresse ; then , thou kissest All thy foure fingers , crowchest and sighst faintly : Deere beauty , if my watch keep faire decorum , Three quarters have neere past the figure X. Or as the time of day goes — Cam. So Vespuci , This will not doe , I reade it on thy forehead , The graine of thy complexion is quite altered . Once 't was a comely browne , 't is now of late A perfect greene and yellow ; sure prognosticates Of th' over flux o' th gall , and melancholy , Symptomes of love and jealousie , poore soule . Quoth she , the she , why hang thy looks like bel-ropes Out of the wheeles ? thou flinging downe thy eyes Low at her feete , replid'st , because , oh Soveraigne The great bell of my heart is crack'd , and never Can ring in tune againe , till 't be new cast By one only skilfull Foundresse . — hereat She turn'd aside , wink'd , thou stood'st still and stard'st I did observ 't , be plaine , what hope ? Vesp. Shee loves thee ; Doates on thee : in my hearing told her Lord Camillo was the Piramus and Thisbe Of Courtship , and of complement : ah ha ! She nick'd it there . I envy not thy fortunes ; For to say truth , th' art hansome , and deserv'st her , Were she as great againe as she is . Cam. I hansome ? Alas , alas , a creature of heavens making , Ther 's all ! but sirrah , prithee let 's be sociable ; I doe confesse , I thinke the goodee-madame May possibly be compast ; I resolve too , To put in for a share ; come what can come on 't . Vesp. A pretty toy 't is , since th' art open brested , Camillo I presume she is wanton , And therefore meane to give the sowse , when ever I find the game on wing . Cam. Let us consider , Shee 's but a merchants leavings . Ves. Hatch'd i' th countrey , And fledg'd i' th City . Cam. 'T is a common custome 'Mongst friends ( they are not friends else ) chiefly gallants , To trade by turnes in such like fraile commodities . The one is but reversioner to tother . Ves. Why 't is the fashion man . Cam. Most free and proper , One Surgeon , one apothecarie . Ves. Thus then ; When I am absent , use the gentlest memory Of my endowments , my unblemish't services To Ladies favours : with what Faith and secresie . I live in her commands , whose speciall curtesies , Oblige me to particular engagements . I le doe as much for thee . Cam. With this addition Camillo ( best of faires ) a man so bashfull , So simply harmelesse , and withall so constant , Yet resolute in all ! true rights of honour ; That to deliver him in perfect character , Were to detract from such a solid vertue As raignes not in another soule — he is Ves. The thing a Mistresse ought to wish her servant ; Are we agreed ? Cam. Most readily on tother side , Unto the Lord her husband , talke as coursely Of one another as we can . Ves. I like it , so shall we sift her love , and his opinion . Enter Iulio , Flavia , and Fabritio . Iulio Be thankfull ( fellow ) to a noble Mistresse ; Two hundred ducats are no trifling summe , Nor common almes . Fla. You must not loyter lazily , And speake about the towne my friend in tavernes , In gaming houses , nor sneake after dinner To publike shewes , to interludes , in riot , To some lewd painted baggage , trick't up gawdily , Like one of us ; oh fie upon 'em giblets ! I have bin told they ride in coaches , flaunt it In braveries , so rich , that it is scarce possible How to distinguish one of these vile naughty packs , From true and arrant Ladies — they 'le inveigle Your substance and your body , thinke on that , I say your body , looke to 't , Is 't not sound counsell ? Iu. 'T is more , 't is heavenly . Ves. What hope Camillo now if this tune hold ? Cam. Hope faire enough , Vespuci , now as ever : Why any Woman in her husbands presence Can say no lesse . Ves. T is true , and she hath leave here . Fab. Madam , your care and charity at once , Have so new moulded my resolves , That henceforth when e're my mention Fals into report , It shall requite this bounty , I am travelling To a new world . Iu. I like your undertakings . Fla. New world , where 's that I pray ? good , if you light on A Parrot or a Monkey that has qualities Of a new fashion , thinke on me . Fab. Yes , Lady I , I shall thinke on you ; and my devotions Tendred where they are due in single meekenes , With purer flames will mount with free increase Of plenty , honors , full contents , full blessings , Truth and affection twixt your Lord and you . So with my humblest best leave , I turne from you , Never as now I am to appeare before yee . All joyes dwell here and lasting . Exit . Fla. Prithee sweetest Harke in your eare — beshrew 't , the brim of your hat Strucke in mine eye — Dissemble honest teares The griefes my heart does labour in — smarts Vnmeasurably . Iul. A chance , a chance , 't will off ; Suddenly off , forbeare , this handkercher But makes it worse . Cam. Wincke madam with that eye . The paine will quickly passe . Vesp. Immediatly , I know it by experience . Fla. Yes , I find it . Iul. Spare us a little Gentlemen : speak freely . Ex. Ca. Ve. What wer 't thou saying deerest ? Fla. Doe you love me ? Answer in sober sadnesse , I 'me your wife now ; I know my place and power . Iul. What 's this riddle ? Thou hast thy selfe reply'd to thine owne question , In being marryed to me , a sure argument Of more then protestation . Fla. Such it should be Were you as other husbands : 't is granted , A woman of my state may like good cloaths , Choyce dyet , many servants , change of merriments , All these I doe enjoy ; and wherefore not ? Great Ladies should command their owne delights , And yet for all this , I am us'd but homely , But I am serv'd even well enough . Iul. My Flavia I understand not what thou would'st Fla. Pray pardon me ; I doe confesse I 'm foolish , very foolish ; Trust me indeed I am , for I could cry Mine eyes out , being in the weeping humour : You know I have a Brother . Iv. Romanello , An unkinde Brother . Fla. Right , right , since you bosom'd My latter youth , he never would vouchsafe As much as to come neere me . Oh , it mads me , Being but two , that we should live at distance ; As if I were a Cast-away , and you For your part take no care on 't nor attempted To draw him hither . Iu. Say the man be peevish , Must I petition him ? Fla. Yea marry must ye , Or else you love not me ; not see my Brother ? Yes I will see him , so I will , will see him . You hear 't , — oh my good Lord , deere gentle , prethee , You shan't be angrie ; 'las I know poore Gentleman , A beares a troubled mind : but let us meete And talke a little , we perhaps may chide At first , shed some few teares , and then be quiet ; There 's all . Iu. Write to him , and invite him hither , Or goe to him thy selfe . Come , no more sadnesse , I le doe what thou canst wish . Fla. And in requitall , Beleeve I shall say something that may settle A constancie of peace , for which thou l't thanke me . Exit . Enter SECCO and SPADONE . Secco .

The rarest fellow , Spadone , so full of gamballs , a talkes so humorously , does a not , so carelessely ? Oh rich ! ô , my hope of posterity ! I could be in love with him .

Spadone .

His tongue troules like a Mill-clack : a towzes the Lady sisters , as a tumbling Dog does young Rabets ; hey here , dab there , your Madona ; a has a catch at her too : There 's a tricke in the businesse ; I am a dunce , else I say a shrewd one .

Sec.

Iumpe with me , I smell a trick too , if I could tell what .

Spa.

Who brought him in ? that would be knowne ?

Sec.

That did signior Troylo ; I saw the Page part at the doore ; some trick still , go to Wife , I must and I will have an eye to this geere .

Spa.

A plaine case , Roguery , Brokage and Roguery , or call me Bulchin . Fancies , quoth a ? rather Frenzies . We shall all rore shortly : turne madcaps , lie open to what comes first I may stand to 't . That boy Page , is a naughty boy Page ; let me feele your forehead , ha , oh , hum , — yes — there , — there againe ; I 'm sorry for ye , a hand-saw cannot cure ye , monstrous and apparent .

Sec.

What , what , what , what , what Spadone ?

Spa.

What what what what , nothing but Velvet tips you are of the first head yet : have a good hart man , a Cuckold though a be a Beast , weares invisible hornes ; else we might know a City Bull from a Countrey Calfe , — villanous Boy still .

Sec.

My Razer shall be my weapon , my Razer .

Spa.

Why ? hee 's not come to the honour of a Beard yet , he needs no shaving .

Sec.

I will trim him and tram him .

Spa.

Nay she may doe well enoughs for one .

Sec.

One , ten , a hundred , a thousand ; ten thousand : doe beyond Arithmetick Spadone , I speake it with some passion , I am a notorious Cuckold .

Spa.

Grosse and ridiculous , — look ye , point blanck I dare not sweare that this same Mountbancking new-come foyst , is at least a procurer in the businesse ; if not a pretender himselfe : but I thinke what I thinke .

Sec.

Hee , Troylo , Livio , the Page , that hole-creeping Page ; all horne me sirrah ; I le forgive thee from my heart : Dost not thou drive a trade too in my bottome .

Spa.

A likely matter , 'las I 'm Metamorphosed I , be patient you 'l marre all else .

Within .

Ha ha ha ha .

Sec.

Now , now , now , now , the games rampant , rampant .

Spa.

Leave your wild fegaries , and learne to be a tame Antick , or I le observe no longer .

Within .

Ha ha ha ha .

Enter Troylo , Castamela , Floria , Clarella Silvia , Morosa , and Romanello , like a Courtly Mountebanck . Sil. You are extremely busie signior . Flo. Courtlie , Without a fellow . Cla. Have a stabbing wit . Cast. But are you alwaies , when you presse on Ladies Of mild and easie nature , so much satyre ; So tart and keen as we doe taste ye now ? It argues a leane braine . Rom. Gip to your beauties , You would be faire forsooth , you would be Monsters ; Faire Women are such , Monsters to bee seen Are rare , and so are they . Troy . Beare with him Ladies . Mor. He is a foule-mouth'd man . Sec. Whore , bitch — Fox , treedle — fa la la la — Mor. How 's that my Cat a Mountaine ? Spa. Hold her there Boy . Cla. Were you ere in love fine Signior ? Rom. Yes for sports sake ; But soone forgot it . He that rides a gallop Is quickly weary . I esteem of Love As of a man in some huge place ; it puzzles Reason , distracts the freedome of the soule ; Renders a wise man foole , and a foole wise In 's owne conceit , not else it yeelds effects Of pleasure travaile , bitter , sweet ; warre , peace ; Thornes , roses ; prayers , curses ; longings , surfets ; Despaire , and then a rope : oh my trim lover , Yes , I have loved a score at once . Spa.

Out stallion , as I am a man and no man , the Baboon lies I dare sweare abominably .

Sec. Inhumanly , — keepe your bow close , vixen . Mor. Beshrew your fingers if you be in earnest : You pinch too hard , go to , I le pare your nailes for 't . Spa. She meanes your hornes , there 's a bob for you . Cla. Spruice Signior , if a man may love so many , Why may not a faire Lady have like priviledge Of several servants ? Troy . Answer that , the reason Holds the same weight . Mor. Marry and so it does , Tho he would spit his gall out . Spa. Marke that Secco . Sil. De' e pumpe for a reply ? R. The learned differ In that point ; grand and famous Schollers often Have argued pro and con , and left it doubtfull ; Volumes have been writ on 't . If then great Clerkes Suspend their resolutions , 't is a modestie For me to silence mine . Fla. Dull and phlegmatick . Cla. Yet Women sure in such a case are ever More secret then men are . Sil. Yea and talke lesse . Rom. That is a truth much fabled , never found You secret ? when your Dresses blab your vanities ; Carnation for your Points ? there 's a grosse babler : Tawny , hey ho , the pretty heart is wounded . A knot of Willow Ribbands she 's forsaken ? Another rides the Cock-horse , green and azure , Wince and cry wee hee like a Colt unbroken : But desperate black puts em in minde of fish daies ; When Lent spurres on Devotion , there 's a famine : Yet love and judgement may helpe all this pudder . Where are they ? not in females ? Flo. In all sorts of men no doubt . Sil. Else they were sots to choose . Cla. To sweare and flatter , sometimes ly for profit . Ro. Not so forsooth , should love and judgement meet , The old , the foole ; the ugly and deform'd Could never be beloved ; for example , Behold these two ; this Madam and this shaver . Mor. I doe defie thee ; am I old or ugly ? Sec. Tricks , knacks , devices , now it troules about . Rom. Troule let it stripling , thou hast yet firme footing And needst not feare the Cuckolds livory . There 's good Philosophie for t , take this for comfort , No horned Beasts have teeth in either gummes : But thou art tooth'd on both sides , tho she faile in 't . Mor. He 's not jealous Sirrah . Rom. That 's his Fortune , Women indeed more jealous are then Men ; But men have more cause . Spa. There a rub'd your forehead , 't was a tough blow . Sec. It smarts . Mor. Pox on him , let him Put 's finger into any Gums of mine , He shall finde I have teeth about me , sound ones . Sec.

You are a scurvie fellow , and I am made a cokes , an Asse ; and this same filthy Cron 's a flirt . Whope do me no harme good Woman .

Exit Secco and Spadane . Spa. Now now he 's in , I must not leave him so . Troy . Morosa , what meanes this ? Mor. I know not I , He pinched me , called me names , most filthy names . Will ye part hence Sir , I will set ye packing . Exit . Cla. You were indeed too broad , too violent . Flo. Here 's nothing meant but mirth . Sil. The Gentleman Hath been a little pleasant . Cla. Somewhat bitter Against our sex . Cast. For which I promise him A nere proves choise of mine . Rom. Not I your choice . Troy . So she protested Signior . Rom. Indeed . Enters MOROSA . Cla. Why you are mov'd Sir ? Mor. Hence , there enters A civiller companion for faire Ladies Then such a sloven . Ro. Beauties . Troy . Time prevents us , Love and sweet thoughts accompany this presence . Enter Octavio , Secco whispering him , Livio and Nitido . Octa. Enough , slip off , and on your life be secret . Exit Secco . A lovely day , young creatures . To you Floria ; To you Clarella , Silvia , to all service : But who is this faire stranger ? Li. Castamela , My Sister , noble Lord . Oct. Let ignorance Of what you were , plead my neglect of manners , And this soft touch excuse it , y' have inriched This little family ( most excellent Virgin ) With th' honour of your company . Cast. I finde them Worthily gracefull Sir . Li. Are ye so taken ? Oct. Here are no publique sights nor Courtly visitants , Which youth and active blood might stray in thought for : The companies are few , the pleasures single , And rarely to be brook'd , perhaps by any ; Not perfectly acquainted with this custome , Are they not lovely one ? Li. Sir , I dare answer My sisters resolution . Free converse Amongst so many of her Sex , so vertuous , She ever hath prefer'd before the surquedry Of protestation , or the vainer giddinesse Of popular attendants . Musicke . Cast. Well playd Brother . Oct. The meaning of this Musicke . Mor. Please your Lordship , It is the Ladies hower for exercise In Song and Dance . Oct. I dare not be the Author Of trewanting the time then , neither will I . Mor. Walke on deere Ladies . Oct. 'T is a taske of pleasure . Li. Be now my Sister , stand a triall bravely : Mor. Remember my instructions , or — Exit . Manet Octa. and Castamela . Oct. With pardon . You are not of the number I presume yet , To be enjoyn'd to houres . If you please , We for a little while may sit as Iudges Of their proficience , pray vouchsafe the favour . Cast. I am Sir in a place to be commanded , As now the present urgeth . Oct. No compulsion , That were too hard a word ; where you are Soveraigne Your yea and nay is Law : I have a suit tee . Cast. For what Sir ? Oct. For your love . Cast. To whom ? I am not So weary of th' authority I hold Over mine owne contents in sleepes and wakings ; That I de resigne my liberty to any Who should controule it . Oct. Neither I intend so , Grant me an entertainment . Cast. Of what nature ? Oct. To aknowledge me your creature . Cast. Oh my Lord . You are too wise in yeeres , too full of counsaile For my greene inexperience . Oct. Love deare Maid , Is but desire of beauty , and 't is proper For beauty to desire to be belov'd . I am not free from passion , tho the current Of a more lively heate runnes slowly through me , My heart is gentle , and beleeve fresh Girle : Thou shalt not wish for any full addition , Which may adorne thy rarities to boast em ; That bounty can , withhold this Academy . Of silent pleasures is maintain'd , but onely To such a constant use . Cast. You have belike then A Patent for concealing Virgins , otherwise Make plainer your intentions . Oct. To be pleasant In practise of some outward sences onely No more . Cast. No , worse you dare not to imagine ; Where such an awfull Innocencie , as mine is , Out-faces every wickednesse , your dotage Has lul'd you in . I scent your cruell mercies , Your factresse hath been tampering for my misery ; Your old temptation ; your shee-Devill — beare with A language which this place , and none but this , hath Infected my tongue with . The time will come too , When he ( unhappy man ) whom your advancement Hath ruin'd by being Spannell to your fortunes , Will curse a train'd me hither — Livio , I must not call him Brother ; this one act Hath rent him off the ancestry he sprung from . Oct. The proffer of a noble courtesie Is checkt it seemes . Cast. A courtesie ? a bondage ; You are a great man vicious , much more vicious , Because you hold a seeming league with charity Of pestilent nature , keeping hospitality For sensualists in your owne Sepulchre , Even by your life time : yet are dead already . Oct. How 's this , come be more mild . Cast. You chide me soberly , Then Sir I tune my voice to other Musique ; You are an eminent statist , be a Father To such unfriended Virgins , as your bounty Hath drawn into a scandall , you are powerfull In meanes . A Batchelour , freed from the jelousies Of wants , convert this privacie of maintenance Into your own Court : let this ( as you call it ) Your Academy have a residence there ; And there survey your charity your selfe : That when you shall bestow on worthy husbands With fitting portions , such as you know worthie ; You may yeeld to the present age example , And to posterity a glorious Chronicle : There were a worke of piety : the other is A scorne upon your Tombe-stone ; where the Reader Will but expound , that when you liv'd you pander'd Your owne purse and your same . I am too bold Sir , Some anger and some pittie hath directed A wandring trouble . Oct. Be not known what passages The time hath lent , for once I can beare with yee . Cast. I le countenance the hazzard of suspition . And be your guest a while . Oct. Be — but hereafter — I know not what — Livio . Enter LIVIO and MOROSA . Li. My Lord . Cast. Indeed Sir I cannot part we 'e yet . Oct. Well then thou shalt not , My pretious Castamela — thou hast a Sister , A prefect Sister Livio . Mor. All is inck'd here Good soule indeed . Li. I de speake with you anon . Cast. It may be so . Oct. Come faire one . Li. Oh I am cheated . Exeunt omnes .
ACT. IIII . Enter LIVIO and CASTAMELA . Li. PRithee be serious . Cast. Prithee interupt not The Paradise of my becharming thoughts , Which mount my knowledge to the spheare I move in , Above this uselesse tattle . Li. Tattle ? Sister , D ee know to whom you talke this ? Cast. To the Gentleman Of my Lords Horse , new stept into the Office : 'T is a good place Sir , if you can be thankfull . Demeane your carriage in it , so that negligence Or pride of your preferment oversway not The grace you hold in his esteem . Such fortunes Drop not down every day ; observe the favour That rais'd you to this fortune . Li. Thou mistak'st sure What person thou holdst speech with . Cast. Strange and idle . Li. I st possible ? why ? you are turn'd a Mistris , A Mistris of the trimme ; beshrew me Lady You keepe a stately Port , but it becomes you not : Our Fathers Daughter , if I erre not rarely , Delighted in a softer humbler sweetnes : Not in a hey-de-gay of scurvey Gallantry . You do not brave it like a thing o th' fashion ; You Ape the humor faintly . Cast. Love deare Maid Is but desire of beauty , and 't is proper For beauty to desire to be belov'd . Li. Fine sport , you mind not me ; will you yet heare me Madam ? Cast. Thou shalt not wish for any full addition , Which may adorne thy rarities to boast em : That bounty can withold — I know I shall not . Li. And so you clapt the bargaine , the conceit on 't Tickles your contemplation . 'T is come out now , A Womans tongue I see , some time or other Will prove her Traytor : This was all I sifted , And here have found thee wretched . Cast. We shall flourish . Feed high henceforth , man , and no more be streightend Within the limits of an emptie patience : Nor tire our feeble eyes with gazing onely On greatnes , which enjoyes the swindge of pleasures . But be our selves the object of their envie , To whom a service would have seem'd ambition . It was thy cunning Livio , I applaud it , Feare nothing ; I le be thrifty in thy projects : Want misery ? may all such want as thinke on 't ; Our footing shall stand firme . Li. You are much witty . Why Caestamcla , this to me ? you counterfeit Most palpablie . I am too well acquainted With thy condition Sister ; if the Marquesse Hath utter'd one unchaste , one wanton syllable , Provoking thy contempt : not all the flatteries Of his assurance to our hopes of rising , Can or shall slave our soules . Cast. Indeed not so Sir , You are beside the point , most gentle Signior , I le be no more your ward , no longer chamber'd , Nor mew'd up to the lure of your Devotion : Trust me , I must not , will not , dare not ; surely I cannot for my promise past ; and sufferance Of former trialls hath too strongly arm'd me : You may take this for answer . Li. In such earnest ? Hath goodnes left thee quite ? foole thou art wandring In dangerous fogges , which will corrupt the puritie Of every noble vertue dwelt within thee . Come home againe , home Castamela Sister ; Home to thine owne simplicitie , and rather Then yeeld thy memorie up to the Witch-craft Of an abused confidence ; be courted For Romanello . Cast. Romanello . Li. Scornst thou The name ? thy thoughts I finde then are chang'd rebells To all that 's honest , that 's to truth and honour . Cast. So Sir , and in good time . Li. Thou art falne suddainly Into a plurisie of faithlesse impudence ; A whorish itch infects thy blood ; a leprosie Of raging lust , and thou art madde to prostitute The glory of thy Virgin dower basely For common sale . This foulenesse must be purg'd , Or thy disease will ranckle to a pestilence , Which can even taint the very ayre about thee : But I shall studie Physick . Cast. Learne good manners : I take it you are sawcie . Li. Sawcie ? strumpet In thy desires : 't is in my power to cut off The twist thy life is spunne by . Cast. Phew , you rave now : But if you have not perished all your reason , Know I will use my freedome ; you ( forsooth ) For change of fresh apparell , and the pocketting Of some well looking Duccats , were contented , Passinglie pleas'd , yes marry were you ( marke it ) To expose me to the danger now you raile at . Brought me , nay forc'd me hither , without question Of what might follow , here you finde the issue : And I distrust not but it was th' appointment Of some succeeding fate that more concern'd me Then widdowed virginity . Li. You are a gallant One of my old Lord Fancies . Peevish girle Was 't ever heard that youth could doate on sicknesse , A gray beard , wrinckled face , a dryed up marrow , A toothlesse head , — a — this is but a merriment , Meerely but triall . Romanello loves thee , Has not abundance , true , yet cannot want . Returne with me , and I will leave these fortunes , Good Maid , of gentle nature . Cast. By my hopes , I never plac'd affection on that Gentleman , Tho a deserv'd well ; I have told him often My resolution . Li. Will you hence , and trust to My care of setling you a peace . Cast. No surely , Such treatie may breake off . Li. Off bee 't broken , I le doe what thou shalt rue . Cast. You cannot Livio . Li. So confident ? young Mistris mine , I le do 't . Exit . Enter TROYLO. Troy . Incomparable Maid . Cast. You have been Counsellor To a strange Dialogue . Troy . If there be constancie In protestation of a vertuous nature ; You are secure , as the effects shall witnes . Cast. Be noble , I am credulous , my language Hath prejudic'd my heart ; I and my Brother Nere parted at such distance ; yet I glory In the faire race he runs : but feare the violence Of his disorder . Troy . Little time shall quit him . Enter Secco leading Nitido in a Garter with one hand , a Rod in his other ; followed by Morosa , Silvia , Floria , Clarella ; Spadone behind laughing . Sec.

The young Whelp is mad , I must slice the worme out of his breech : I have noos'd his neck in the Collar ; and I will once turne Dog-leech . Stand from about me , or you 'l finde me terrible and furious .

Nit.

Ladies good Ladies , deare Madam Morosa .

Flo.

Honest Secco .

Sil.

What was the cause ? what wrong has hee done to thee ?

Cla.

Why dost thou fright us so , and art so peremptory where wee are present fellow ?

Mor.

Honey-bird , Spouse , Catamountaine ; ah the Child , the pretty poore Child ; the sweet fac'd Child .

Spa.

That very word halters the eare-wig .

Sec.

Off I say , or I shall lay bare all the naked truth to your faces : his foreparts have been so lusty , and his posterions must do penance for 't : Vntrusse Whiskin untrusse ; away burres , out Mare-hagge moyle ; avaunt , thy turne comes next , avaunt thy turn comes next ; avaunt the Horns of my rage are advanced ; hence or I shall gore ye .

Spa.

Lash him soundly , let the little Ape shew trickes .

Nie.

Helpe , or I shall be throtled .

Mor.

Yes , I will helpe thee pretty heart , if my tongue cannot prevaile ; my nayles shall . Barbarous minded man , let go , or I shall use my tallons .

Spa.

Well playd Dog , well playd Beare , sa , sa , sa ; to 't to 't .

Sec.

Fury , whore , baud , my Wife and the Devill .

Mor.

Tospot , stinckard , pander , my husband & a rascal .

Spa. Scould Coxcombe , baggage , Cuckold . Crabed Age and Youth Cannot jumpe together : One is like good lucke , T'other like foule weather . Troy . Let us fall in now : What uncivill rudenesse Dares offer a disturbance to this company . Peace and delights dwell here , not brawles and outrage : Sirrah be sure you shew some reasons why You so forget your duty ? quickly shew it , Or I shall tame your choller ; what 's the ground on 't ? Spa.

Humh how 's that ? how 's that ? is he there with a Wanion ? Then doe I begin to dwindle , — O oh , the fit , the fit ; the fits upon me now , now now now .

Sec.

It shall out . First then know all Christian people Iewes and Infidels , hee s and shee s , by these presents , that I am a beast ; see what I say , I say a very beast .

Troy .

'T is granted .

Sec.

Go to then , a horned beast : a goodly tall horn'd beast in pure verity a Cuckold : nay I will tickle their Trangdidoes .

Mor.

Ah thou base fellow ! wouldst thou confesse it and it were so : but 't is not so , and thou lyest and lowdly .

Troy .

Patience Morosa , you are you say a Cuckold .

Sec.

He justifie my words ; I scorn to eate em : this sucking Ferret hath been wrigling in my old Coney borough .

Mor.

The Boy , the Babe , the Infant ; I spit at thee .

Cast.

Fie Secco fie .

Sec.

Appeare Spadone , my proofes are pregnant and grosse : truth is the truth ; I must and I will be divorced . speake Spadone and exalt thy voice .

Spa.

Who I speake , alas I cannot speake I .

Nit.

As I hope to live to be a man .

Sec.

Dambe the prick of thy weason Pipe : where but two lie in a bed you must be Bodkin bitch-baby must ye . Spadone , am I a Cuckold or no Cuckold ?

Spa.

Why ? you know I an ignorant unable trifle in such businesse ; an Oafe , a simple Alcatote ; an Innocent .

Sec.

Nay nay nay , no matter for that ; this Ramkin hath tup'd my old rotten carrion Mutton .

Mor.

Rotten in thy maw , thy guts and garbage .

Sec.

Spadone speake alowd what I am .

Spa.

I do not know .

Sec.

What hast thou seen em doing together ? doing .

Spa.

Nothing .

Mor.

Are thy mad braines in thy mazar now , thou jealous Bedlam ?

Sec.

Didst not thou from time to time tell me as much ?

Spa.

Never .

Sec.

Hoyday , Ladies and Signior I am abus'd , they are agreed to scorne jeere and runne me out of my wits ; by consent this gelded hobet a hoy is a corrupted Pander : the page a milke liverd Dildo ; my Wife a Whore confest ; and I my selfe a Cuckold arrant .

Spa.

Truely Secco for the antient good Woman ; I dare sweare point-blanck ; and the Boy surely , I ever said was to any mans thinking , a very Chrisome in the thing you wot , that 's my opinion clearely .

Cla.

What a wise goose-cap hast thou shew'd thy self ?

Sec.

Here in my fore-head it sticks , and stick it shall . law I will have ; I will never more tumble in sheets with thee ; I will father no mis-begotten of thine ; the Court shall trounce thee , the Citie casheere thee , diseases devoure thee , and the Spittle confound thee .

Exit . Cast.

The man ha's dream'd himselfe into a lunacie .

Sil.

Alas poore Nitido .

Nit.

Truely I am innocent .

Mor.

Marry art thou , so thou art ; the World sayes how vertuously I have carried my good name in every part about me , these threescore yeares and odde ; and at last to slip with a child ; there are men , men enough , tough and lustie ( I hope ) if one would give their mind to the iniquitie of the flesh , but this is the life I ha' led with him a while since when a lies by me as cold as a dry stone .

Troy . This onely ( Ladies ) is a fit of noveltie , All will be reconcil'd , I doubt , Spadone ; Here is your hand in this how ere deny'd . Spa.

Faithfully in truth forsooth .

Troy . Well , well enough — Morosa , be lesse troubled ; This little jarre is argument of loue , It will prove lasting ; Beauties , I attend yee . Ex. Troy . La. Spa.

Youngling , a word youngling : have not you scap'd the lash hansomly ? thanke me for 't

Nit.

I feare thy roguery , and I shall finde it .

Spa.

I st possible , give me thy little fist , we are friends ; have a care henceforth , remember this whilst you live . And still the Vrehin would , but could not doe : Pretty knave , and so forth : Come , truce on all hands .

Nit.

Beshrew your fooles head ; this was jeast in earnest .

Exeunt . Enter ROMANELLO . Rom. I will converse with beasts ; there is in mankinde No sound society , but in woman ( blesse me ) Nor faith nor reason : I may justly wonder What trust was in my Mother . Enter a Servant . Ser. A Caroch , sir , Stand at the Gate . Rom. Stand let it still , and freeze there : Make sure the socks . Ser. Too late , you are prevented . Enter Flavia , Camilla , and Vespuci . Fla. Brother , I come — Rom. Vnlookt for ; — I but sojourne My selfe ; I keepe nor house , nor entertainments , French Cookes compos'd , Italian Collations ; Rich Persian surfets , with a traine of services , Befitting exquisite Ladies , such as you are , Perfume not our low Roofes ; — the way lies open That there . — Good day , great Madam . Fla. Why d' yee slight me ? For what one act of mine , even from my Childhood , Which may deliver my deserts inferiour Or to our Births or Familie ; is Nature Become , in your contempt of me , a Monster ? Ves. What 's this Camillo ! Cam. Not the straine in ordinary . Rom. I 'm out of tune to chop discourses — however , You are a Woman . Fla. Pensive and unfortunate , Wanting a Brothers bosome to dis-burthen More griefs , then female weaknesse can keep league with ; Let worst of malice , voye'd in loud report , Spit what le dares invent against my actions ; And it shall never find a power to blemish My mention , other then beseemes a patient : I not repine at lownesses ; and the Fortunes Which I attend on now , are as I value them , No new creation to a looser liberty : Your strangenes only may beget a change In wild opinion . Cam. Heere 's another tang of sence , Vespuci . Ves. Listen and observe , Rom. Are not you pray ye , ( nay , wee 'l be contented In presence of your Vshers , once to prattle . Some idle minutes ) are you not inthroan'd The Ladie Regent , by whose speciall influence Iulie the Count of Camerine is order'd ? Fla. His Wife 't is knowne I am ; and in that title , Obedient to a service ; else , of greatnesse The quiet of my wish was nere ambitious . Rom. Hee loues you ? Fla. As worthily , as dearely . Rom. And 't is beleev'd how practice quickly fashion'd A port of humorous anticknesse in carriage , Discourse , demeanour , gestures . Cam. Put home roundly . Ves. A ward for that blow . Fla. Safety , of mine Honor , Instructed such deceit . Rom. Your Honour ? Fla. Witnesse This brace of sprightly Gallants , whose confederacie Presum'd to plot a siege . Cam. Ves. Wee , Madam I Rom. On , on , Some leysure serves us now . Fla. Still as Lord Iulio Pursu'd his Contract with the man ( oh pardon If I forget to name him ) by whose poverty Of honest truth , I was renounc'd in Marriage . These two , intrusted for a secret Courtship , By tokens , letters , message , in their turnes , Profferd their owne devotions , as they term'd them , Almost unto an impudence ; regardlesse Of him , on whose supportance they relyed . Rom. Dare not for both your lives to interrupt her . Fla. Bayted thus to vexation , I assum'd A dulnesse of simplicity ; till afterwards Lost to my Citie , Freedome , and now enter'd Into this present state of my Condition ; ( Concluding henceforth absolute security From their lascivious Villanies ) I continued My former custome of ridiculous lightnesse , As they did their pursuit ; t' acquaint my Lord , were T' have ruin'd their best certainty of living : But that might yeeld suspition in my nature ; And woman may be vertuous without mischiefe , To such as tempt them . Rom. You are much to blame sirs , Should all be truth is utterd . Fla. For that Justice I did command them hither , for a privacie In conference 'twixt Flavia and her brother Needed no Secretaries such as these are : Now Romanello , thou art every refuge I slie for right to ; if I be thy Sister , And not a Bastard , answer their confession , Or threaten vengeance , with perpetuall silence . Cam. My follies are acknowledg'd ; y' are a Lady Who have outdone example : when I trespasse In ought but duty , and respects of service , May hopes of ioyes forsake me . Ves. To like pennance I joyne a constant votarie . Rom. Peace then Is ratified , — my Sister thou hast waken'd Intranc'd affection from its steepe to knowledge Of once more who thou art ; no jealous frenzie Shall hazard a distrust : reigne in thy sweetnes , Thou onely worthy Woman ; these two Converts Record our hearty vnion , I have shooke off My thraldome , Lady , and have made discoveries Of famous Novels ; but of those hereafter ; Thus wee seale love , you shall know all and wonder . Enter LIVIO . Liv. Health and his hearts desire to Romanello ; My welcome I bring with me ; noblest Lady , Excuse an ignorance of your faire presence ; This may be bold intrusion . Fla. Not by me , Sir . Rom. You are not frequent here as I remember ; But since you bring your welcome with you , Livio , Be bold to use it ; to the point . Liv. This Lady , With both these Gentlemen , in happie houre May be partakers of the long liv'd amity , Our soules must liuke in . Rom. So belike the Marquesse Stores some new grace , some speciall close employment , For whom your kind commends by deputation Please thinke on to oblige , and Livio's charity Descends on Romanello liberally , above my means to thank . Liv. Siena sometimes Has beene inform'd how gladly there did passe A treatie of chast loves with Castamela ; From this good heart , it was in me an error Wilfull and causelesse , 't is confest , that hinder'd Such honourable prosecution , Even and equall ; better thoughts consider , How much I wrong'd the gentle course which led yee To vowes of true affection ; us of friendship . Rom.

Sits the wind there boy ; leaving formall circumstance , proceed ; you dally yet .

Liv. Then without plea , For countenancing what has beene injurious On my part , I am come to tender really My Sister a lou'd Wife t' yee ; freely take her Right honest man , and as yee live together , May your encrease of yeares prove but one spring , One lasting flourishing youth ; she is your owne , My hands shall perfect what 's requir'd to ceremony . Fla. Brother , this day was meant a holyday , For feast on every side . Rom. The new-turn'd Courtier Proffers most franckly ; but withall leaves out A due consideration of the narrownesse Our short estate is bounded in , some Politicks As they rise vp ( like Livio ) to perfection In their owne competencies , gather also Grave supplement of providence and wisedome ; Yet he abates in his — you use a triumph In your advantages , it smels of state : We know you are no foole . Fla. Sooth I beleeve him . Cam. Else 't were imposture . Ves. Folly ranck , and sence lesse . Liv. Enjoyne an oath at large . Rom. Since you meane earnest , Receive in satisfaction ; I am resolv'd For single life ; there was a time ( was Livio ) When indiscretion blinded forecast in me ; But recollection , with your rules of thriftinesse , Prevaild against all passion . Liv. You 'd be courted , Courtship 's the childe of coynesse Romanello ; And for the Rules 't is possible to name them . Rom. A single life 's no burthen ; but to draw In yoakes is chargeable , and doth require A double maintenance ; Livios very words , For he can live without a wife and purchase , By 'r Lady so you doe Sir , send you joy on 't ; These rules you see are possible , and answer'd . Liv. Full , — answer was late mate to this already , My Sister 's onely thine . Rom. Where lives the Creature Your pitty stoopes to pin upon your servant ? Not in a Nunn'ry for a yeares probation ? Fie on such coldnes , there are BOWRDS OF FANCIES Ravish'd from troops of Fairy Nymphs , and Virgins Cul'd from the downie breasts of Queenes their Mothers , In the Titanian Empire , far from Mortals : But these are tales ; troth I have quite abandoned All loving humour . Liv. Heere is scorne in Riddles , Rom. Were there another Marquesse in Sienna More potent then the same who is vice-gerent To the great Duke of Florence , our grand Master : Were the great Duke himselfe here , and would lift up My head to fellow pompe amongst his Nobles , By falshood to the honour of a Sister , Vrging me instrument in his Seraglio ; I de teare the Wardrobe of an outside from him Rather then live a Pandar to his bribery . Liv. So would the hee you talke to , Romanello , Without a noise that 's singular . Rom. Shee s a Countesse Flavia , shee ; but she has an Earle her Husband , Though farre from our procurement . Liv. Castamela Is refus'd then . Rom. Never design'd my Choyce , You know and I know ( Livio ) more I tell thee , A noble honestie ought to give allowance , When reason intercedes ; by all that 's manly , I range not in derision but compassion . Liv. Intelligence flies swiftly . Rom. Pretty swiftly ; We have compar'd the Copie with the Originall , And finde no disagreement . Liv. So my Sister Can be no wife for Romanello ? Rom. No , no , One noe once more and ever ; — this your courtesie Foild me a second ; — Sir , you brought a welcome , You must not part without it ; scan with pittie My plainnesse , I intend nor gall , nor quarrell . Liv. Far bee 't from me to presse a blame , great Lady ; I kisse your noble hands , and to these Gentlemen Present a civill parting ; Romanello , By the next foot-Post thou wilt heare some newes Of alteration ; if I send , come to me . Rom. Questionlesse , yea . Liv. My thanks may quit the favor . Exit . Fla. Brother his intercourse of conference , Appeares at once perplext , but withall sensible . Rom. Doubts easily resolv'd ; upon your vertues The whole foundation of my peace is grounded : I le guard yee to your home , lost in one comfort Heere I have found another . Fla. Goodnesse prosper it . Exeunt .
ACT. V. Enter OCTAVIO , TROYLO , SECCO , and NITIDO . Oct. NO more of these complaints and clamors ; Have we nor enemies abroad , Nor waking Sycophants , Who peering through our actions , wait occasion By which they watch to lay advantage open To vulgar descant , but amongst our selves Some whom we call our owne must practise scandall ( Out of a libertie of ease and fulnesse ) Against our honour , we shall quickly order Strange reformation Sirs , and you will finde it . Troy . When Servants servants , slaves , once relish license Of good opinion from a noble nature , They take upon them boldnesse to abuse Such interest , and Lord it ore their fellowes , As if they were exempt from that condition . Oct. He is unfit to mannage publique matters Who knowes not how to rule at home his hoshould ; You must be jealous ( puppie ) of a Boy too ; Raise uprores , ( bandie noise ) amongst young Maidens ; Keepe revels in your madnesse , use authoritie Of giving punishment ; a foole must foole ye ; And this is all but pastime , as you thinke it . Nit. With your good Lordships favor , since , Spadone Confest it was a gullery put on Secco , For some revenge meant me . Troy . He vow'd it truth Before the Ladies in my hearing . Oct. Sirrah , I le turne you to your shop agen and trinkets , Your suds and pan of small-cole ; take your damzell The grand old ragge , of beautie ; your deaths head ; Try then what custome reverence can trade in ; Fiddle , and play your pranks amongst your neighbours ; That all the towne may roare ye ; now ye simper And looke like a shav'd skull . Nit. This comes of prating . Sec. I am my Lord a worme , pray my Lord tread on me , I will not turne agen ; 'las I shall never venture To hang my Pole out ; on my knees I begges it , My bare knees , I will downe unto my wife And doe what she will have me , all I can doe ; Nay more , ( if she will have it ) aske forgivenes , Be an obedient Husband ; never crosse her , Vnlesse sometimes in kindnes : Seignior Troylo , Speake one sweet word ; I le sweare 't was in my madnes , I said I knew not what , and that no creature Was brought by you amongst the Ladies , Nitido I le forsweare thee too . Oct. Wait a while our pleasure ; You shall know more anon . Sec. Remember me now . Exeunt . Oct. Troylo , thou art my brothers sonne , and nereest In blood to me ; thou hast beene next in counsells . Those ties of nature ( if thou canst consider How much they doe engage ) worke by instinct In every worthy or ignoble mention Which can concerne me . Troy . Sir , they have and shall As long as I beare life . Oct. Henceforth the Stewardship My carefulnes , for the honour of our Familie Has undertooke , must yeeld the world account , And make cleare reckonings ; yet we stand suspected In our even courses . Troy . But when time shall wonder How much it was mistaken in the issue Of honourable , and secure contrivements . Your wisedome crown'd with lawrels of a Iustice Deserving approbation will quite foyle The ignorance of popular opinion . Oct. Report is merry with my feates ; my dotage Vndoubtedly the Vulgar voyce doth caroll it . Troy . True Sir , but Romanello's late admission Warrants that giddy confidence of rumor Without all contradiction ; now 't is Oracle , And so receiv'd ; I am confirm'd , the Lady By this time proves his scorne as well as laughter . Oct. And we with her his table-talke — she stands not In any firme affection to him . Troy . None Sir , More then her wonted Noblenesse afforded Out of a civill custome . Oct. We are resolute In our determination , meaning quickly To cause these clouds flie off ; the ordering of it Nephew is thine . Enter Livio . Troy . Your care and love commands me . Liv. I come , my Lord , a Suiter . Oct. Honest Livio , Perfectly honest , reallie ; no fallacies No flawes are in thy truth : I shall promote thee To place more eminent . Troy . Livio deserves it . Oct. What suit ? speake boldly . Liv. Pray discharge my office , My mastership ; 't were better live a yeoman And live with men , then over-eye your houses , Whiles I my selfe am ridden like a jade . Oct. Such breath sounds but ill manners ; know young man , Old as we are , our Soule retaines a fire Active and quick in motion , which shall equall The daringst boyes ambition of true manhood That weares a pride to brave us . Troy . He is my friend , Sir . Oct. You are wearie of our service , and may leave it . We can court no mans dutie . Liv. Without passion , My Lord , d' yee thinke your Nephew here , your Troylo Parts in your spirit as freely as your blood ; 'T is no rude question . Oct. Had you knowne his Mother You might have sworne her honest ; let him justifie Himselfe not base borne : for thy Sisters sake I doe conceive the like of thee ; be wiser , But prate to me no more thus ; — if the gallant Resolve on my attendance , ere he leave me , Acquaint him with the present service , Nephew , I meant to imploy him in . Exit . Troy . Fie Livio , wherefore Turn'd wild upon the sodaine . Liv. Pretty Gentleman , How modestly you move your doubts ? how tamely ? Aske Romanello , he hath without leave Surveigh'd your Bowres of FANCIES , hath discovered The mystery of those pure Nuns ; those chast ones , Vntouch'd forsooth ; the holy Academie : Hath found a Mothers daughter there of mine too , And one who cald my Father Father , talkes out , Ruffles in mirth on 't ; baffel'd to my face The glory of her greatnesse by it . Troy . Truely . Liv. Death to my sufferance , canst thou heare this misery , And answer 't with a truely ? 't was thy wickednes False as thine owne heart tempted my credulity , That , her to ruine ; she was once an innocent , As free from spot , as the blew face of heaven Without a cloud in 't ; she is now as sully'd As is that Canopie , when mists and vapours Divide it from our sight , and threaten pestilence . Troy . Sayes he so , Livio . Liv. Yes , and 't like your noblenes ; He truely does so say ; your breach of friendship With me , must borrow courage from your Vncle , Whiles your sword talkes an answer ; there s no remedy , I will have satisfaction , though thy life Come short of such demand . Troy . Then satisfaction Much worthier then your sword can force , you shall have , Yet mine shall keepe the peace ; I can be angry And brave alow'd in my reply ; but honour Schooles me to fitter grounds , this as a gentleman I promise ere the minutes of the night Warne us to rest , such satisfaction ( heare me And credit it ) as more you cannot wish for , So much not thinke of . Liv. Not ? the time is short , Before our sleeping houre : you vow . Troy . I doe , Before we ought to sleepe . Liv. So I intend to , On confidence of which , what left the Marquessa In charge for me ? I le do 't . Troy . Invite Count Iulio His Ladie , and her brother , with their company To my Lords Court at Supper . Liv. Easie busines , And then . — Troy . And then soone after , the performance Of my past vow waites on yee , but be certaine You bring them with y'e . Liv. Yet your servant . Troy . Neerer my friend , you 'l find no lesse . Liv. 'T is strange , is 't possible . Exeunt . Enter Castamela , Clarella , Floria , and Silvia . Cast. You have discourst to me a lovely story , My heart doth dance to th' musique ; 't were a sinne Should I in any tittle stand distrustfull Where such a people such as you are , innocent Even by the Patent of your yeares and language , Informe a truth ; O talke it ore againe ; Ye are ye say three daughters of one mother , That Mother only Sister to the Marquesse , Whose charge hath since her death ( being left a widdow ) Here in this place prefer'd your education : Is 't so ? Cla. It is even so , and howsoever Report may wander loosely in some scandall Against our privacies ; yet we have wanted No gracefull meanes fit for our births and qualities , To traine us up into a vertuous knowledge Of what , and who we ought to be . Flo. Our Vncle Hath often told us , how it more concern'd him Before he shew'd us to the world , to render Our youths and our demeanors in each action Approv'd by his experience , then too early Adventure on the follies of the age , By prone temptations fatall . Sil. In good deed la , We meane no harme . Cast. Deceit must want a shelter Vnder a roofe , that 's covering to soules So white as breaths beneath it , such as these are ; My happines shares largely in this blessing , And I must thanke direction of the providence Which led me hither . Cla. Aptly have you stil'd it , A providence for ever in chast loves , Such majestie hath power , — our Kinsman Troylo Was herein his owne factor ; he will prove , Beleeve him Lady , every way as constant , As noble , we can baile him from the cruelty Of misconstruction . Flo. You will finde his tongue But a just Secretary to his heart . Cast. The Guardianesse ( Deare Creatures ) now and then , it seemes Makes bold to talke . Cla. Sh 'as waited on us From all our Cradles , will prate sometimes odly , However meanes but sport ; I am unwilling Our houshold should breake up , but must obey His wisedome , under whose command we live : Sever our companies I 'm sure we shall not ; Yet 't is a pretty life this and a quiet . Enter Morosa , Secco , his apron on , Bason of water , Scissers , Combe , Towels , Razor , &c. Sec.

Chuck , duckling , honye , mouse , monkey all and every thing ; I am thine ever and only , will never offend againe , as I hope to shave cleane and get honour by 't , heartily I aske forgivenesse ; bee gracious to thine owne flesh and blood , and kisse me home .

Mor.

Looke you provoke us no more , for this time you shall finde mercy ; — was 't that hedgehog set thy braines a crowing ? bee quits with him , but doe not hurt the great male-baby .

Sec.

Enough , I am wise , and will be merry , — hast Beauties , the Caroches will sodaine receive yee ; a night of pleasure is toward , pray for good husbands a peece , that may trim you featly , ( dainty ones ) and let mee alone to trim them .

Mor.

Loving hearts be quick as soone as ye can , time runs apace ; what you must doe , doe nimbly , and give your minds to 't ; young bloods stand fumbling ? fie away , be ready for shame before-hand ; hisband , stand to thy tackling hisband , like a man of mettall : goe , goe , goe .

Exit Morosa and Ladies . Sec.

Will ye come away loyterers ? shall I wait all day ? Am I at livery d' ye thinke .

Enter Spadone ready to be trim'd , and Nitido . Spa.

Here and ready ; what a mouthing thou keep'st , I have but scour'd my hands , and curried my head to save time , honest Secco , neat Secco , precious barbarian , now thou lookst like a worshipfull Tooth-drawer , would I might see thee on horsebacke , in the pompe once .

Sec.

A Chaire , a Chaire , quick , quick .

Nit.

Here 's a chaire , a chaire politique , my fine boy , sit thee downe in triumph , and rise one of the nine Worthies ; thou 'lt be a sweet youth anon sirrah .

Spa.

So , to worke with a grace now , I cannot but highly be in love with the fashion of Gentry , which is never compleat , till the snip snap of dexterity , hath mow'd off the excrements of slovenry .

Sec.

Very commodiously deliver'd I protest .

Nit.

Nay , the thing under your fingers is a whelpe of the wits I can assure you .

Spa.

I a whelpe of the wits ? no , no , I cannot barke impudently , and ignorantly enough ; — oh , and a man of this Art had now and then Soveraigntie over faire Ladies , you would tickle their upper and their lower lips , you 'd so smouch and belaver their chopps .

Sec.

We light on some offices for Ladies too , as occasion serves .

Nit.

Yes , frizzle or pouder their haire , plane their eye-browes , set a napp on their cheekes , keepe secrets , and tell newes ; that 's all .

Sec.

Winke fast with both your eyes , the ingredients to the composition of this ball , are most odorous Camphire , pure sope of Venice , oyle of sweet Almonds , with the spirit of Allome ; they will search and smart shrewdly , if you keep not the shop-windowes of your head close .

Spa.

Newes ? well remember'd , that 's part of your trade too ( prethee doe not rub so roughly ) and how goes the tattle o th' towne ? what novelties stirring , ha ?

Sec.

Strange , and scarse to be credited ; a gelding was lately seene to leape an old Mare ; and an old man of one hundred and twelve stood in a white sheet for getting a wench of fifteene with childe , here hard by , most admirable and portentous .

Spa.

I le never beleeve it , 't is impossible .

Nit.

Most certaine , some Doctor Farriers are of opinion that the Mare may cast a Foale , which the Master of their Hall conclude in spight of all Iockies and their familiars , will carry every race before him , without spurre or switch .

Spa.

O rare , a man might venture ten or twenty to one safely then , and nere be in danger o' the cheate ; — this water me thinks is none of the sweetest ; Camphire and soape of Venice say ye .

Sec.

With a little grecum album for mundification .

Nit.

Grecum album is a kinde of white persum'd pouder , which plaine Countrey people , I beleeve , call dog-muske .

Spa.

Dog-muske , poxe o' the dog-muske , what dost meane to bleach my nose , thou giv'st such twitches to 't ? set me at liberty as soone as thou canst , gentle Secco

Sec.

Onely pare off a little superfluous downe from your chin , and all 's done .

Spa.

Pish , no matter for that ; dispatch , I entreat thee .

Nit.

Have patience man , 't is for his credit to be neat .

Spa.

What 's that so cold at my throat ; and scrubs so hard ?

Sec.

A kinde of steele instrument yeleped a Razor , a sharp toole and a keene , it has a certaine vertue of cutting a throat , if a man please to give his mind to 't ; — hold up your muzzle Signior , — when did you talke baudily to my wife last ? tell me for your owne good ( Signior ) I advise you .

Spa.

I talke baudily to thy wife ? hang baudry ; good now mind thy busines , lest thy hand slip .

Nit.

Give him kinde words you were best , for a toy that I know .

Sec.

Confesse , or I shall marre your grace in whiffing Tobacco or squirting of sweet wines downe your gullet ; — you have beene offering to play the gelding we told yee of I suppose ; — speake truth , ( move the semicircle of your countenance to my left hand file ) out with the truth ; would you have had a leap .

Nit.

Spadone , thou art in a lamentable pickle , have a good heart and pray if thou canst , I pitty thee .

Spa.

I protest and vow friend Secco , I know no leaps , I .

Sec.

Letcherously goatish and an Eunuch ? this cutt , and then —

Spa.

Confound thee , thy leaps and thy cuts , I am no Eunuch , you finicall asse , I am no Eunuch ; but at all points as well provided , as any he in Italy , and that thy Wife could have told thee : this your conspiracie , to thrust my head into a brazen tub of Kitchin-see , hudwinke mine eyes in mud-soape , and then offer to cut my throat in the darke like a Coward ? I may live to be reveng'd on both of yee .

Nit.

Oh scurvy ! thou art angry , feele man whether thy weason be not cracked first .

Sec.

You must fiddle my braines into a jealousie , rub my temples with saffron , and burnish my forehead with the juyce of yellowes : have I fitted yee now sir ?

Enter Morosa . Spa.

All 's whole yet I hope ?

Mor.

Yes , sirrah ; all is whole yet ; but if ever thou dost speak treason against my sweeting and me once more , thou l't finde a roguy bargaine on 't ; deare , this was handled like one of spirit and discretion : Nitido has pag'd it trimly too ; no wording , but make ready and attend at Court .

Sec.

Now we know thou art a man ; we forget what hath past , and are fellowes and friends againe .

Nit.

Wipe your face cleane ; and take heed of a Razor .

Spa. The feare put me into a sweat ; I cannot helpe it ; I am glad I have my throat mine owne , and must laugh for Company , or be laught at . Exit . Enter Livio , and Troylo. Liv. You finde Sir , I have prov'd a ready servant , And brought th' expected guests , amidst these feastings , These costly entertainments ; you must pardon My incivility that here sequesters Your eares from choise of musique , or discourse To a lesse pleasant parley ; night drawes on , And quickly will grow old ; it were unmanly For any Gentleman , who loves his honour , To put it on the rack ; here is small comfort Of such a satisfaction as was promis'd , Though certainly it must be had ; pray tell me What can appeare about me to be us'd thus ? My soule is free from injuries . Troy . My tongue from serious untruths , I never wrong'd you , Love you too well to meane it now . Liv. Not wrong'd mee ? ( Blest Heaven ! ) this is the bandie of a patience Beyond all sufferance . Troy . If your owne acknowledgement Quit me not fairely ere the houres of rest Shall shut our eyes up , say I made a forfeit Of what no length of yeares can once redeeme . Liv. Fine whirles in tame imagination ; on sir , It is scarce mannerly at such a season , Such a solemnitie ( the place and presence Consider'd ) with delights , to mixe combustions . Troy . Prepare for free contents , and give em welcome . Flourish . Enter Octavio , Iulio , Flavia , Romanello , Camillo and Vespuoi . Oct. I dare not study words , or hold a complement For this particular ; this speciall favour . Iul. Your bounty and your love , my Lord , must justly Ingage a thankfulnes . Fla. Indeede Varieties of entertainment heere Have so exceeded all account of plentie , That you have left ( great Sir ) no rarities Except an equall welcome which may purchase Opinion of a common Hospitality . Oct. But for this grace ( Madam ) I will lay open Before your judgements which I know can rate 'em A Cabinet of Iewels , rich and lively , The world can shew none goodlier ; those I prize Deare as my life — Nephew — Troy . Sir , I obey you . — Exit . Fla. Iewels , my Lord . Oct. No strangers eye ere view'd them , Vnlesse your Brother Romanello haply Was wo'd unto a sight for his approvement : No more . Rom. Not I , I doe protest ; I hope Sir You cannot thinke I am a lapidarie ; I skill in Iewels ? Oct. 'T is a proper quality For any Gentleman ; your other friends May be are not so coy . Iul. Who they , they know not A Topaze from an Opall . Cam. We are ignorant In gems which are not common . Ves. But his Lordship Is pleas'd ( it seemes ) to try our ignorance . For passage of the time , till they are brought , Pray looke upon a Letter lately sent me , Lord Iulio , ( Madam ) Romanello , read A noveltie ; 't is written from Bonony Fabricio once a Merchant in this Citie Is enter'd into orders , and receiv'd Amongst the Capuchins a fellow , newes Which ought not any way to be unpleasant , Certaine I can assure it . Iul. He at last has Bestow'd himselfe upon a glorious service . Rom. Most happie man , I now forgive the injuries Thy former life expos'd thee to . Liv. Turne Capuchine , Hee , whiles I stand a Cypher and fill up Only an uselesse summe to be laid out In an unthrifty leudnesse , that must buy Both name and riot ; Oh my fickle destinie ! Rom. Sister , you cannot taste this course but bravely , But thankfully . Fla. Hee 's now dead to the world And lives to heaven , a Saints reward him ; My onely lov'd Lord , all your feares are henceforth Confin'd unto a sweet and happie pennance . Enter Troylo , Castamela , Clarella , Floria , Silvia , and Morosa . Oct. Behold , I keepe my word , these are the Iewels Deserve a treasurie ; I can be prodigall Amongst my friends ; examine well their lustre Do's it not sparkle ? wherefore dwels your silence In such amazement ? Liv. Patience keepe within me , Leap not yet rudely into scorne of anger . Fla. Beauties incomparable . Oct. Romanello , I have beene onely Steward to your pleasures ; You lov'd this Ladie once , what say you now to her ? Cast. I must not court you Sir . Rom. By no meanes faire one , Enjoy your life of greatnesse ; sure the spring Is past , the BOWERS OF FANCIES is quite wither'd And offer'd like a lottery to be drawne ; I dare not venture for a blanke , excuse me , — Exquisite Iewels . Liv. Hearke ye Troylo . Troy . Spare me . Oct. You then renounce all right in Castamela , Say Romanello . Rom. Gladly . Troy . Then I must not ; Thus I embrace mine owne , my wife ; confirme it . Thus when I faile ( my dearest ) to deserve thee Comforts and life shall faile me . Cast. Like vow I , for my part . Troy . Livio , now my Brother , justly I have given satisfaction . Cast. Oh excuse Our secrecie , I have beene — Liv. Much more worthy A better Brother , he a better Friend Then my dull braines could fashion . Rom. Am I cosen'd . Oct. You are not Romanello ; we examin'd On what conditions your affections fix'd , And found them meerely Courtship ; but my Nephew Lov'd with a faith resolv'd , and us'd his policie To draw the Ladie into this societie , More freely to discover his sinceritie Even without Livio's knowledge , thus succeeded And prospered , he 's my heire and she deserv'd him . Iul. Storme not at what is past . Fla. A fate as happie May crowne you with a full content . Oct. What ever Report hath talk'd of me abroad , and these Know they are all my neeces , are the daughters To my dead onely Sister , this their Guardianesse Since they first saw the World ; indeed my Mistresses They are , I have none other ; how brought up Their qualities may speake ; now Romanello , And Gentlemen , for such I know yee all , Portions they shall not want both sit and worthy ; Nor will I looke on fortune , if you like Court them and win them , here is free accesse , In mine owne Court henceforth ; only for thee Livio I wish Clarella were alotted . Liv. Most noble Lord , I am struck silent . Fla. Brother , heere 's noble choyce . Rom. Frenzy , how didst thou seize me ! Cla. We knew you Sir , in Prugniolo's posture . Flo. Were merry at the sight . Sil And gave you welcome . Mor. Indeed forsooth , and so we did an 't like ye . Oct. Enough , enough ; now to shut up the night , Some meniall servants of mine owne are ready For to present a merriment ; they intend Acording to th' occasion of the meeting , In severall shapes to shew how love oreswayes All men of several conditions ; Soldier , Gentry , foole , scholler , Merchant man , and Clowne : A harmlesse recreation ; take your places . — Dance . Your duties are perform'd henceforth , Spadone , Cast off thy borrow'd title : Nephew Troylo , His Mother gave thee suck ; esteeme him honestly . Lights for the Lodgings , 't is high time for rest ; Great men may be mistooke when they meane best . FINIS .
EPILOGVE . MOR. A while suspected ( Gentlemen ) I looke For no new Law , being quitted by the Booke . CLA. Our harmelesse pleasure's , free in every sort Actions of scandall ; may they free report . CAST. Distrust is base , presumption urgeth wrongs ; But noble thoughts must prompt as noble tongues . FLA. Fancie and Iudgement are a Playes full matter : If we have er'd in one , right you the latter .
Machine-generated castlist A01049-livio 102 A01049-castamella 84 A01049-troylo-savelli 83 A01049-spadone 80 A01049-secco 73 A01049-romanello 70 A01049-morosa 57 A01049-flavia 53 A01049-octavio 47 A01049-nitella 45 A01049-camerine 28 A01049-vespucci 26 A01049-julio 20 A01049-clarella 18 A01049-silvia 12 A01049-fabrichio 10 A01049-florence 10 A01049-servant 2 A01049-within 2 A01049-savelli 1 A01049-omnes 1 A01049-ambo 1
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P ander servile flatteries On great mens vices ? — Pander — th'art deceived , The word includes preferment flaverie Be yet more confident , the slaverie Of such an abject office , shall not tempt thon Right , just as thou tould'st me , all's right , Liveso Live so sumptuously . siddle toyes to please my Mistresse wonton : So is a fiddle too , 'twill make it dance , Or else be drist I understand not The drift on't , nor how meant , nor yet to whom . fit 'tis a pretty signe Of breeding , i'st not sirs ? I 〈◊〉 indeed 〈◊〉 Long for some strange 〈◊〉 pretty signe Of breeding , i'st not fit ? I could indeed 〈◊〉 Long for some strange good things 〈◊〉 Of breeding , i'st not fit ? I 〈◊〉 indeed la, Long for some strange good things now . calhim Most punctually . Could call him by his name too , why 'tis possible unthristily wasted Your stocke of credit , and of Wares unthriftily . You are a faulty man , and should we urge Fabricto To thee Fabricio , oh the change is cruell Since I find some protestodst knowledge Thou souldst me , and in open court protestdest A precontract unto another , falsly To justifie opent'ee were then scarce possible , A dore might open t'ee , hardly a loope-hole , withest foolish loving nature of thine own , and withelt wel to plaine dealings o' my conscience Ecne I could dance now , Evne till I dropt againe ; but want of practice same hopes , by her unluckie fortunes , Whose fame is ruin'd ; Flavia , my lost sister ! Lost soppery and study Amongst the Ladies in a formall foppery , To vent some curiosity of language , Above appehensions some curiosity of language , Above their apprehensions , or your owne , Indeed beyond sence , you forwhere When occasion Offers it selfe ( for where it do's or not , I will be bold to adoes contrivements ; I will speake for thee . Well 'a does relish the disguise ! trans forme supposition Strengthned by supposition , will transform him Into the beast it selfe 'a do's resemble Wereto That to deliver him in perfect character , Were to detract from such a solid vertue As raignes whenyou But are you alwaies , when you presse on Ladies Of mild and easie nature Secc0 Marke that Secco . 〈◊〉 Marriage . These two , intrusted for a secret Courtship , By tokens , letters , message , in their 〈◊〉 By tokens , letters , message , in their turnes , Profferd their owne devotions , as they 〈◊〉 , Profferd their owne devotions , as they term'd them , Almost unto an impudence ; regardlesse 〈◊〉 regardlesse Of him , on whose supportance they relyed . fully'd heaven Without a cloud in't ; she is now as sully'd As is that Canopie , when mists and vapours lockies Master of their Hall conclude in spight of all Iockies and their familiars , will carry every race whissing Confesse , or I shall marre your grace in whiffing Tobacco or squirting of sweet wines downe prefence season , Such a solemnitie ( the place and presence Consider'd ) with delights , to mixe combustions sickle that must buy Both name and riot ; Oh my fickle destinie ! withes'd Is past , the BOVVERS OF FANCIES is quite wither'd And offer'd like a lottery to be drawne