What should I name the great abuses of Induigences , and Pardons , and all for money ? wherein there were many tricks , and counterfet deuices .

Certaine cheating Friers hauing pawned their Relicks in a Tauerne , and wanting money to redeeme them , shewed the people a firebrand , and made them beleeue it was part of the fire , which broyled Saint Lawrence : wherevpon according to the ignorance of those times , many gaue them money , which they spent in all vnthriftinesse .

A Lady sent to pleasure a yong Cardinall , according to a certaine composition betweene him and her Husband , seemed at first very coy , and for all the basenesse of her Husband , would by no meanes consent to his pleasure , till at last , by forcible perswasions , faire intreatie , extraordinarie promises , the handsomnesse of his person , and the greatnesse of his estate , shee condiscended vnto him , and seemed well pleased in the alteration : where-vpon shee returnes to her Husband with the money , and told him plainely , shee was bought and sold , and therfore would returne , and forsake him for euer .

And thus much of their coozening and deuices : wherein I pray you take onely this notice , that I meane to giue you but a taste of euery one of the diuisions . For if I should set a Banquet before you , or a Feast to feed you , you would rather surfet , then be satisfied ; the dishes are so many wherewith I could furnish the Table , and of that varietie , that you might rather glut and gorge your selues , then content nature with a temperate dyet . Againe , whereas it may be obiected , these were the times of old , there is now great reformation since these enormities were looked into : I answere plainely and directly ; the same superstition remaines at this houre , and the Priests doe so preuaile with coozening deceit , and farre-fetcht deuices , that in Spaine this present yeere 1622. the doctrine of the conception of our Lady without sinne , and assumption into Heauen , is newly divulged and ratified , and the contrary opinion reputed Heresie , and the repugners hunted , and hissed at in euery Towne and Citie .

3. Concerning their Whoredome ; or if you will haue the cleanlier terme , Fornication ; Who knowes not , that there is a common allowance of Stewes ( more then a conueniencie ) vnder all the Catholike gouernment , for which the women doe allow an annuall entrado into the Popes Exchequer , or to the seuerall States where they liue ?

In the first Councell of Toledo , in the raigne of Arcadius and Honorius , it was agreed , that the Clergie liuing without Wiues , should haue Concubines .

In the Patents of Abbots , in the Realme of England , this clause was incerted : Licitum erit Domino Abbati , semel in mense habere mulierem , ad purgandas renes ; yea , in those dayes it was counted good policy to haue a Wife , Daughter , or Neece , a companion of a Cardinall , or Bishop , to be-friend the kinred in matters of complaint , or in tryals of Law .

A Gentle-woman taken in Adulterie , and so diuorced , desired for her penance to be detruded into a Monasterie , alledging this reason to her inward friends , that in stead of punishment , shee should bee sure to haue there the greater pleasure .

When souldiers entred into any towne to be lodged , or quartered , the first thing they did , was to hunt after Priests Lemans ; and search euery corner for their Whores . And thus much for the generall : Now to particulars .

A Franciscan Frier lodging in the house of a Gentleman of Perigot , found the meanes to lye with his Wife vpon her Purification , as vnderstanding by confession his resolution . So hee entred the Chamber first , and when hee had taken his pleasure , departed out of the house , excusing his haste to the Porter , by speciall businesse . After he was departed , comes the Gentleman indeed , and found by his Wiues speech , that some body had wronged him : which so amazed him , that he amazed her by saying , he was abused . Shee with teares assured him , that none was in the house but the Frier , and her Brother : which was no sooner spoken , but vp hee gets , and to the Porter hee comes , and there vnderstands , how the Frier was departed . After him he followes , but not ouertaking him , hee returnes home againe . In his absence , the Wife enraged to bee so deflowred , hangs her selfe , and in the mischance ouerthrew a little child dead to the ground : the noise rais'd the house , and at last comes the brother , and finding his Sister hangd , supposing her Husband had done it , in some fit of iealousie , out of doores he flings , and meetes him returning home ; in which moode hee sets vpon him with Villaine , and defiance ; and so they wound one another to death .

The Franciscans of Strasborough , before they were expelled , accustomed to steale away mens Wiues , and keepe them cloystered like yong Nouices , cutting their hayre , and charming them with feare of death ; till at last a Butchers Wife was sent in the same habit with the Cater to buy meate of her Husband ; who eying her very narrowly , as hauing seene the face before , could not be restrained , but layd hands vpon her , and so after great adoe , all was discouered , & the Friers banished .

Two Franciscans hauing no money to pay the Ferry , rauished the Woman that carried them , and so pleased her .

A Franciscan in Perigot found the meane , by obscuring himselfe in the bride-chamber , to lye with a Bride , before her Husband came to her , and escaped , for all that the houshold could doe , when they heard of it .

Another Franciscan by Lyons , married his brother Frier , in the habit of a Scholler , to a Widdowes Daughter of great riches and account , making them beleeue , hee was an heire to great reuenues , and sent to Lyons , as it were vnder his tutelage : but at last the Mother and Daughter comming to heare Masse , ( as much deuoted to this Order ) espied her Husband answering the Priest in his Friers weed , which for the time they concealed , till they came home , and at night , as his custome was , he likewise kept his houres : but being in bed , the mother comes in , and layed hold of his hands , while his Daughter pull'd off his Cap , and discouered her shauen crowne , and so hee was apprehended , and sent to the Magistrate .

There are more Stories of the Franciscans , then of any other Order , & they were euermore played vpon , because they pretended more holines , and sanctitie of life . They builded their Houses and Cels very neere the Nunneries ; insomuch that many merrily said , Heere were the Barnes , and there were the Threshers .

It is reported , that when Henry the second was King of France , and wanted a great summe of money , a certaine Lord wisht him to sell the Friers beds ; and when the King demanded , where they then should lye ; he presently replyde , With the Nunnes . But , quoth the King , there are more Monkes a great deale then Nunnes . Why , said the other , one Nunne may very well haue fiue or sixe Monkes .

Two or three Curats betweene Daulphine and Sauoy , perswaded the women to faine themselues mad , that while their husbands went on Pilgrimage to recouer their health , the Priests might come and lye with them .

A Frier minorite of Sicilia , falling in loue with the young Wife of old Agatha the Physician , taught her a tricke to faine her selfe pained with the disease of the Mother : For which the Frier must be sent for , and bring in the Relikes of Saint Bernardine . Which hee did , commanding all the company in the Chamber to auoid ; and so hee went to bed to the Physicians Wife , while his companion lay with the Maid . But ere all was done , home comes the Old man , and found the Friers breeches vnder his Wiues pillow , which she confessed , as a part of the Relicks , there to remaine , for feare of a relapse . Whereupon the Maid went to the Friers , to tell what had chanced : who camedowne merrily with all the other ceremonies of the cure , and so put his breeches together with the other Reliques .

The old Tale of the Abbesse in Lombardy is remembred to this day ; who hearing that one of her Nunnes was in labour , came in all haste to chide her ; but belike shee was puzzled in the darke : for in stead of her Vaile , she had put on a Monkes Breeches , that lay with her the same night : so comming to the Nunne , shee began to reuile her , who forall herpaine , soberly answered , Good Madam mend your plaister , and all shall bee well inough , I warrant you . This Tale is seconded by many other Stories in mine Author .

Pogius the Florentine reports of an Hermite at Padoa , called Anfimirius , in the time of Francis the 7. Duke , who was accused for intising the yong and handsome women to his lust and pleasure . Wherevpon the Dukes Secretarie was very busie to examine him , hoping hee would name some , at whose husbands hee might make sport , and laughter . In which iollitie , hee vrgeth him againe and againe to set down the women . Why then , quoth the Hermite , and you bee so hastie , write downe your owne Wife first . I hope you may imagine hee was amazed ; the Duke smiled , and the whole company stood silent , for feare their turne should be next .

A Priest at Paris , after Shrift went no further then the Pew he sate in , to satisfie his lust .

A Curate neere Vienne in Daulphine , went behinde the high Altar .

A woman taken in Adulterie with a Priest , was accused and examined ; but because shee could not deny the fact , the Priest was brought before the Bishop , who prescribed him this penance , not to come in three months within a Church . When the man , who was thus abused , vnderstood of so small a punishment , he lies in wait for him , and cruelly beates him ; so that hee is brought before his Iudge to receiue punishment : who awarded him not to come into a Tauern in 3. moneths . At which the Bishop seemed much offended , till the Iudge answered : My Lord , considering the first abuse , I hope it is as great a punishment for him not to visit a Tauerne , as penance for the Priest not to trouble a Church .

In a Village neere Corguac , called Cherues , a Maid was got with child by her owne Brother , which she discouered to a Priest , and he perswaded the people impragnatam à spiritu : But when so great an imposture came to the eares of the Earle of Angolesme , father to Francis the first , he quickly found out the deceit , and so they were both burnt , and the Priest suspended .

To conclude this Section , I will be bold with the Records of the time of Henry the eight in our owne Countrey , concerning the Visitation of Monasteries , Couents , Collegiat Churches , and other religious Houses , out of which these particulars are extracted , that in the Monasterie of Battell , or Bete , in the Diocesse of Chichester , these So domites were discouered : Iohn Abbot : Richard Salchurst : Thomas Cuthert : William March : Iohn Hasting : Gregory Champion : Clement West field : Iohn-Crosse : Thomas Crambrooke : Thomas Bayl : Iohn Hamfield : Iohn Ierom : Clement Grigg : Rich. Toucy , and Iohn Austine .

In the Church of Canterbury among the Monks of Saint Bennet , Richard Godmershem : William Leichfield : Christopher Iames : Iohn Goldingston : Nicholas Clement : William Causton : Iohn Ambrose : Tho. Chichester : Iohn Champion ; and Roger Barram . And in the Monasterie of Saint Austine : Tho. Barram , all these were found Sodomites , and punished accordingly .

To name other places , and other commissions of whoredome and fornication , were infinit ; but so it was , and will be in all Nations , where impuritie and superstition ouercomes true zeale and deuotion : yet because there were certaine religious men that did obserue state in their impiety , and thought scorne to goe to common Brothels , or prostituted Whores , but kept women by the name of sequestration , and so liued more glorious , then the rest of poorer Priests ; I will also name you some of them , as among the Monkes of Saint Bennet , Christopher Iames had the command and vse of three married women : William , Abbot of Bristow had foure Whores . In Windsor Castle , Nich : Whyden , Priest , had but foure . George Witborne had fiue : Richard Hunn fiue . Robert Danison , sixe : Richard Prior of Maiden-bedly , fiue .

In the Monasterie of Shulberd , in the Diocesse of Chichester : George Walden , Prior , had seuen . Iohn Standney , seuen . Nicholas Duke , fiue . In the Monasterie of Bath , Richard Lincombe had seuen . In the Cathedrall Church of Chichester , Iohn Hill had onely thirteene . Iohn White Prior of Bermonsdy had twenty . Now if there were foure hundred Couents of Monkes , and Nunnes , and two hundred of Begging Friers , and a suruey taken of all the delinquents in this kinde , O iudge ; for Gods sake iudge ; how many Whores , and Bastards of Priests , and Friers might bee in England in those dayes , and then , if according to the Poet , — sic paruis componere megna solebam : wee could step into France , Italy , Spaine , Germany , and other Countries , where the Clergy bare the sway , and gaue the example , and so pull out the dust and rubbish of their vnswept corners : Oh what a deale of filth , and a dunghill of noysomenesse , would arise , and what a mountaine of sinne would this sinne make ! As for the distinction of time , I will be bold to say , It is as ill now , as euer it was in any time .

Concerning their Epicurisine and gurmandize : If euer the Prophet had cause in his time to 4. Epicurisine , and Drunkennesse . finde fault with the Priests , not onely for their hypocrisie , but their filthy and incontinent liues , giuen to gluttony and belly-cheere , which hee setteth out by the termes of Drunkennes and vomiting , I hope , the Monkes and Friers of Europe come behinde none of them all . Oh looke , for Gods sake , looke , and you shall finde in the Booke of God , many inuectiues against corrupt priests , couetous priests , winking priests , negligent priests , obstinate priests , idolatrous priests , rebellious priests , indifferent priests , gluttonous priests , blind priests , ignorant priests , dumbe priests , courtly priests , idle & vnconstant priests , bribed priests , hypocriticall priests , diuellish priests , deuouring priests , raging priests , incredulous priests , flattering priests , bloudy priests , murchering priests , luke-warme priests , madde priests . Oh looke for Gods sake , looke , and you shall finde in the Cloisters of Monasteries , in the Cels of Abbeys , in the Walkes of religious places , in the Courts of Princes , in the Castles of Lords , in the houses of Gentlemen , in the streets of Cities , in the Farmes of Countreymen , and in the Chambers of Widdowes , religious men of all these sorts , especially hunting after belly-cheere , and to fill their veines with fulnesse of blood , hot , and corrupted . Marke but the situation of their Monasteries and Houses ! Are they not in the fattest grounds , and the plentiful fields of the Country ? Doe they not feed on the choisest Lambes of the fold , and stretch out their limmes on beds of Iuory ? Doe they not carowse in Gobblets and Chalices of Gold , and haue the purest Wines of the Vintage ? With what delicate fruits are their Orchards stored ? and with what walkes of pleasure are their Gardens contriued ? Was it not a by-word in those dayes , A chuffing Abbot , A fiery-faced Abbot , A gorbellied Abbot ?

Is there not at this houre bread made at Paris of the finest Wheat , called the Chapter bread ? doe they not euery where feed on the daintiest Manchet ? yea , those they call Mendicant Friers , eceiue no scraps , I hope , but whole Loaues , and the best prouision in an house .

Are not their Caters sent to the Markets to prouide the best meat , both Flesh , Fish , & Fowle ; Pikes of fiue French crownes , Carps , Tenches , Barbels , and all of that sort at high rates ? and must they not be sod and stewed in Wine , to please the palate , and heat the stomake ? Are not their fasting dayes , dayes of banquets , sweet-meates : and confectionary stuffe , Cullises and Broths , Cawdles , and Panados ? sweet and hot Waters ? Perfumes and Incense ? Are not their linnen of the best Diaper and Damaske ? and the Vtensels of their house so farre from temperature , and moderation , that they exceed in sumptuousnesse , and brauerie ?

There was a certaine Cardinall in Rome , that , to make demonstration of humilitie , had alwaies a net for his Table-Cloth : but preferred to the Papacy , he bade take away the Net ; for he had that which he fish'd for .

When English Cromwell had a great suite to Clement the Pope , he acquainted himselfe with his custome , and dyet , and so inuented a dish of sauoury and pleasant gelly , which he brought in , in a fantasticall manner , with a true mans song , a thing much in vse in those dayes ; and so whether his Holinesse were pleased with the sport , or delighted with the dainty , hee granted his request .

Pope Iulius accustomed to eate Porke and Peacocks flesh , would make long meales , and was a meere glutton .

Becket himselfe was accused for an Hereticke , as eating Capons on Saint Markes day , and feeding like an Epicure on prohibited times , so that he should haue beene attached , had not the Holy Man miraculously turn'd a Capon to a Carpe .

In the Legend of Cardinall Wolsey , it is obiected against him , that he ate stewed Capons in Lent , and sate at his Feasts as long as the King himselfe . I could name the rest , or at least many more : but these , I hope , shall suffice for the subiect in hand : and if any haue forgot the vsance of their owne Countrey , let them still demaund of the trauellers in other places , who haue frequented the Monasteries of Europe , and I hope they will confesse the truth without blushing .

5. Concerning their thefts and robberies : what was all their sellings of Indulgences & Pardons , 5. Thefts and Robberies . but the exhausting of the treasure of a whole Kingdome ? Insomuch , that for such theeuish exaction , Luther and others rowled a stone , which neuer lest , till it turned the Popes Supremacie out of most Countries of Europe .

Was not the imposition of Peter-pence in England , amounting to the yeerely rent of a 100000. pound sterling , a meere theft ? Did not women goe about ( as they doe still in Ireland ) with a cozening Priest , to howle ouer the graues of the dead , and mourne for the desunct , teaching their eyes to weepe , and their hearts to sob , and all for money ?

Are not the Priests stil set on worke to incroach vpon the flexible nature of men and women , to perswade them to wilfull pouerty , that they might bee inriched with their gifts and Legacies , and haue their Monasteries augmented with their Lands and Reuenues ?