A good vvife Gods gift and, a vvife indeed. Tvvo mariage sermons. By Thomas Gataker B. of D. and pastor of Rotherhith.

A GOOD WIFE GODS GIFT . PROVERBS 19. 14. Houses and Riches are the Inheritance of the Fathers : But a prudent Wife is of the Lord .

THERE be two things especially that commend a worke , a a Autor opus laudat . - Ovid. de pont. lib. 4. eleg. 9. the Author , and the Matter . Both of them conspire to commend this Booke , as in the Title of it they are both expressed .

b b Prov. 1. 1. The Prouerbs , or Parables of Salomon , the Sonne of Dauid , King of Israel .

For the Author , ( to omit the Principall , c c 2 Pet. 1. 21. Gods Spirit : Author . for , d d 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . 2 Tim. 3. 16. All Scripture is inspired of God : ) the Pen-man of it was Salomon , e e 2 Chron. 1. 12. 1 King . 3. 12. Matter . the wisest meere man that euer was in the world since Adam , by the testimonie euen of wisdome it selfe .

For the Matter ; it is Prouerbs or Parables , ( as the word in the Originall signifieth ) f f 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 à 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 quod 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 & dominari significat . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 sive dignitates , quae vitae Dominae & moderatrices esse dibent . Cartwright in Prov. Coherence . Master-sentences , such as rule or sway , and are or may be of principall vse in mans Life .

Now consisting for the most part of such Aphorisms and short Sentences , from the beginning especially of the tenth Chapter ; it is not necessarie , that they should haue any coherence one with another ; neither indeed for the most part haue they .

Yet this and the next before it , haue some connexion : g g Vers. 13. the former being of the inconuenience that commeth by a bad wife ,

h h Vers. 14. This latter of the benefit that a good wife , that a wise and a discreet woman bringeth with her .

There Salomon compared two grand euils together , and made a bad wife the worse of the twaine :

Here he compareth two great benefits together , and maketh a good wife the better of the two .

For the former ; i i Vers. 13. A foolish sonne , saith Salomon , is his Fathers sorrow : and a brawling wife is as a continuall dropping .

k k 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Plut. de tranquill . Dolores eo acerbiores , quo interiores . Aug. in Psal. 45. Mala intestina gravissima . Euils are the more grieuous , the neerer , and the more inward they are ; as diseases in the entrailes . And l l Molestissimn̄ malum intestinum & domesticum . Bern. in Cant. ser. 29. & 33. mala domestica , domesticall euils , vex a man most , when m m Matth. 10. 36. Mica 7. 6. a mans enemies , as our Sauiour speaketh , are those of his owne house .

n n 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Hesiod . oper. Hinc Themistocles 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Plut. apophth . Est vetns ver●…m , ●liquid maliessè propter vicinum malum . Plaut. Merc. act. 4. sc. 4. It is no small inconuenience to dwell neere a bad neighbour ; were such a one further off vs , he would be lesse troublesome to vs . And surely if to haue good neighbours be a matter of no small moment , then somewhat also it must needs be for a man to want such , and much more for a man to haue them that dwell neere him euill-affected toward him . An euill at the next doore may be bad enough , and may proue ouer troublesome ; an euill within doores , at home , in a mans owne house much more .

But againe within doores there are degrees also : in a mans owne familie there are some neerer than others . A o o Iohn 8. 35. sonne is neerer than a seruant , and p p 1 Sam. 1. 8. a wife than a sonne . q q Quo● s●rui , ●…hostes . Sen. epist. 47. Macrob. Sat. lib. 1. c. 10. & Fest. lit . Q. Quot scrui , tot fures . Serv. ad Virg. eclog. 3. It is a sore crosse to be troubled , and it be but with bad seruants . It is no small vexation for a man to find vntoward & vnfaithful cariage toward him r r Psal. 41. 9. Iohn 13. 18. in those that eat his bread , that feed at his boord ; much more to sustaine it at the hands of her , that taketh vp the same bed with him , s s Mica . 7. 5. that lieth in his bosome . No euill to a bad bed-fellow , * * 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aesopu● apud Gabriam . C●luber in sin● . to a bosome-euill , to that euill that lieth next the heart , either within or about the breast .

Againe , though true mercy and compassion in some measure extend it selfe vnto all those , whose miseries and calamities we are acquainted with : yet the misfortunes of our deare friends affect vs more than of meere strangers : And t t Qui ignotos l●dit , la●ro appellatur ; qui ●micos , paulò minus quàm paricida . Petron. satyr . the wrongs and iniuries offered vs by professed and pretended friends we are wont to take more to heart . u u Ps. 55. 12 , 13 , 14. It was not mine enemie , saith Dauid , that did me this wrong ; for then I could haue borne it . But it was thou , ô man , my companion , my guide , and my familiar friend .

But Brethren are neerer than Friends . And howsoeuer Salomon truly saith , that x x Prov. 18. 24. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Dion . Chrysost. ●rat . 3. a Friend sometime sticketh closer to a man than a Brother : yet in nature a y y 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 ; ( Psal 133. 1. ) 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . Vide Hier clem de amore frat●rn . & Muson . de lib. tollend . apud Stob. tom. 2. cap. 82. Hinc vetus verbum , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Plato polit. 2. Brother is neerer than any Friend is or can be . There is a ciuill knot onely betweene Friend and Friend ; there is a naturall band betweene Brother and Brother . And therefore , z z Prov. 18. 19. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Euripid. apud Plut. de frat . ●m . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aristot. p●lit . l. 7. c. 7. A brother offended is harder to win than a strong Citie ; and their contentions are as a a Vectes arcis : qui ferrei aut aenei esse solent . Psal. 107. 16. Esai . 45. 2. barres of brasse . b b 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Plut. defrat . amor . It is easier glewing againe of boards together , that haue beene vnglewed , than healing vp the flesh that is gashed and diuided : and the reason is , because c c Contiguum ibi , istic continuum solvitur . there was but an artificiall connexion before in the one , there was a naturall coniunction in the other : so it is easier reconciling of Friends than of Brethren , there being a Ciuill bond onely broken in the disiunction of the one , a Naturall tiall violated in the dissentions of the other .

But Children they are yet neerer than either Friends or Brethren . They are d d Parsque tui latitat corpore clausa meo . Ovid. epist. 2. partes nostri , viscera nostra ; they are as e e Pignora nostra , Vis●era nostra ; potiùs quàm opes , 〈◊〉 Ovid. ep. 1. 2 Sam. 16. 11. Philem. 12 , 20. our very bowels , and part of our selues . And therefore no maruell if Salomon say , that f f Prov. 10. 1. A foolish sonne is a sorrow to his father , and an heauinesse to his mother . And , g g Prov. 17. 21. He that begetteth a foole , begetteth himselfe sorrow : and the father of a foole h h Nemo quisquam ferè unquam fic dolet , ut non idem aliquando gaudeat . Sedenim qui omni momento dolet , is verè dicitur non gaudere . Drus. observ. lib. 1. cap. 22. Vise & Agell . noct . Attic. lib. 2. cap. 6. shall haue no ioy .

But behold here a further euill than any of the former . An euill wife , a contentious woman worse than any of them all . Husband and Wife are neerer than Friends , and Brethren ; or than Parents and Children . Children , though they spring from their Parents , yet they abide not alwaies with them . They are as i i Prov. 5. 16 , 1● . riuers rising from one head , but taking seuerall waies , making seuerall streames , and running apart in seuerall channels . But man and wife must bide by it . They are as two streames , that rising from seuerall heads , fall the one into the other , k k Prout Alpheu● Arethusae a●unt commis eri . mingle their waters together , and are not seuered againe till they are swallowed vp in the Sea . Children are as l l Genes. 49. 22. Psal. 128. 3. branches shooting out of one stem , diuided and seuered either from other , or as grifts and siences cut off , or boughes and branches slipped off from their natiue stocke , and either planted or engraffed else-where . Man and Wife are as the stocke and sience , the one m m 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Rom. 11. 24. ingraffed into the other , and so fastned together , that they cannot againe be sundred ; or as n n Ezech. 37. 17. Vno Vt siquis gemin●s conducat cortice ram●s , Crescendo iu●g● , parite●que adolescere ce●… . Ovid. Metam . l. 4. those two peeces in the Prophets hand inclosed in one barke , and making both but one branch . And o o Gen●s . 2. 24. Therefore , saith the Holy Ghost , shall a man leaue father and mother , and p p 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Ch●●stus Mat. 19. 5. be glewed vnto , or q q 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Moses . cleaue fast to his wife : and They r r Ita Mosen supplet Christus : quomodo & Matth. 4. 10. ex Deut. 6. 13. & 10. 20. two shall be one flesh .

The neerer the bond then , the greater the euill , where it falleth out otherwise than it ought . s s Prov. 19. 14. A foolish sonne , saith Salomon , is the calamitie of his father . And how is he his calamite ? He is t t 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Prov. 105 & 17. 1. & 19. 16. & 29. 15. silius pudefaciens , such an one as shameth his Parents , and maketh them glad to hide their heads in the house . But u u Prov. 19. 13. an euill wife is as the raine dropping in thorow the tiles , that maketh him weary of the house , that vexeth him so that it driueth him out of doores .

Yea x x Prov. 27. 15. as a dropping in a rainie day , when it is foule without and it droppeth within . So that it maketh a man at his wits end , vncertaine whether it be better for him to be abroad in the raine , or to bide within doores in the dropping . And for this cause Augustine compareth an euill Conscience to a bad wife , ( and it may seeme that he pleased himselfe somewhat in the similitude , y y August . in Psal. 33. & in Psal. 35. & in Psal. 45. & alibi . he maketh vse so oft of it : ) which when a man hath many troubles and afflictions from without , and would looke home , hoping for some comfort from within , is much more troublesome to him than any of those his outward crosses are ; is as a rocke or a shelfe to Sea-men in a storme , where they hoped to haue found harbour and shelter against it .

Yea further , not as a dropping only that driueth a man from his house and home , and that when it raineth ; but a a Prov. 19. 13. as a continuall dropping in such a day : So that b b 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Simonid . a bad wife is worse than a quartane ague , wherein a man hath two good daies for one euill . He that hath an euill wife , is as one that hath an euill soule , a guilty conscience , that euermore sticketh by him , that euery where accompanieth him , is a continuall euill companion with him c c In cubi●ulo , in cubili ipso . Aug. in Psal. 45. at bed & boord , d d Quam nec sugere , nec sugare lice● . Bern. in ●ant . 33. & Lips. in politic . Conscient●am ●nim à Deo ( comitem individu●m ) accepimus , quae divelli à nobis non potest . Cic. pro Cl●●nt . such as he cannot shift off or shun . And no maruell therefore if it be deemed the greatest temporall euill , because the most continuall , and the most inward , for a man to be matched with an euill wife , or a woman with an euill husband : For what is said of the one , is as true of the other , the relation betweene them being alike .

To draw all to an head then . An vnkinde Neighbour is a crosse : but e e 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 ; Sopho● . Antigon . an vnfaithfull Friend is a great crosse ; an vnnaturall Brother a greater ; an vngratious Childe yet a greater : but a wicked , vnquiet , or disloyall wife is the f f 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . Penus malerum est omnium mulier mala . greatest of all , and if we beleeue Salomon , goeth beyond them all . In regard whereof he also els-where pronounceth , that g g Prov. 21. 9. & 25. 24. it is better to abide on a corner of the house top without , than to continue with such a one in a wide house : yea that h h Prov. 21. 19. Sirac . 25. 18 , 22. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . Mala mul●er quavis s●ra tr●c●lcation . H. Steph. Summe . it is better to liue in the wildernesse with the wilde beasts , than with such .

But to leaue this that is without my Text , and yet next doore to it , ( so neere here doe good and bad neighbour together ) and to come neerer home : Some it may be hearing Salomon speake on this manner , might say , as our Sauiours Disciples sometime said , i i Matth. 19. 10. If the case so stand betweene man and wife , it is good then not to marry .

Now to such Salomon seemeth to answer in the words of my Text , that It is not euill to marry , but it is good to be warie : that it is not the abuse or badnesse of some , that ought to make Gods ordinance the lesse valued , or the lesse esteemed , being in it selfe and of it selfe a matter of great benefit : that as the inconuenience is great and grieuous that a bad wife bringeth with her ; so the benefit on the other side is no lesse that commeth by a good wife , by a wise and a discreet woman : who is therefore here commended as a speciall Gift , as a principall blessing of God , such as goeth beyond any other temporall blessing whatsoeuer . And surely k k 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Hesiod . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Sim●nid . apud Clem. Alex. ●●rom . l. 6. Sorspotior muliere proba non ●btigit unquam Vlla vno ; 〈◊〉 mala nil t●trius isquam est . Erasm. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . Salus & ex●…ium muli●r est 〈◊〉 . H. Steph. as there is no greater temporall crosse or curse than the one ; so is there no greater temporall blessing than the other .

Now this Salomon to shew , as l l Vers. 13. before he compared two great euils together , and found a bad wife to be the worse : so here hee compareth two great benefits together , and affirmeth a good wife to be the greater .

House and possessions , wealth and riches , land and liuing is m m Psal. 4. 6. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Antiphanes . - 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Sophocles . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Hesiod . Prima ferè vota & cunctis notissima templis , Divitiae ut crescant . - Iuven. sat. 10 Totus populies in alijs d●s●ors , in hoc convenit : hoc suspiciunt ; hoc sibi , hocsuis optant . Sen. epist. 115. Meaning . that , that most men regard , and looke after : yea men are wont to seeke wiues for wealth . But saith Salomon , as n n Prov. 22. 1. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . a good name , so a good wife , a wise and a discreet woman is better than wealth ; o o Prov. 31. 10. her price is far aboue pearles : For House and possessions are the inheritance of the fathers ; but a prudent wife is of the Lord .

Which yet we are not so to vnderstand ; neither the former part , as if worldly wealth , and riches , and possessions were not Gods gifts : for p p Prov. 10. 22. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Pindar . Pyth. 8. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aeschyl . Theb. It is the blessing of God that maketh a man rich : q q Psal. 127. 1 , 2. vnlesse he build the house it will neuer be built : and r r Deut. 8. 18. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . P●●d . Pyth. 8. it is he that giueth men power to gather wealth together .

Nor yet againe the latter part ; as if Parents had no hand , right or power in disposing of their children , or in aduising them and prouiding in that kinde for them . s s Iudg. 14. 2. Sampson requireth his Parents consent . And t t Deut. 7. 3. God chargeth his people not to make matches betweene their children and the Canaanites , either by giuing their daughters vnto the sonnes of the Canaanites , or by taking the Canaanites daughters vnto their sonnes : which he would not doe , were not they at all to deale in the disposing of them . And many , no doubt , would they take aduice of their Parents , and not follow their owne fancies , and make their wanton eye , or their wandring lust , their choser and counsailer in such cases , might doe much better than for want hereof they doe .

But the meaning of Salomon is this only , that the one is a more speciall gift of God than the other ; that there is a more speciall hand of God in the one than in the other . As that is a lesse benefit than this : so that is in mans power more than this .

So that two points then here in Solomons words Points 2. offer themselues vnto vs :

The former , that u u 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Greg Naz. Epit●p . Patr. Point 1. A good Wife is Gods gift .

The latter , that Gods prouidence is more speciall in a Wife than in Wealth .

For the former . A good wife is Gods gift . For a prudent wife , saith Solomon , is of the Lord . And x x Prov. 18. 22. He that findeth a wife , ( that is , a good wife , as , a y y 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Eccles. 7. 1. Prov. 22. 1. & Genes. 11. 4. 〈◊〉 . lipsis , qual●● est & Esai . 1. 18. & Mal. 1. 14. Vise Camium ibid. Reason 1. name for a good name , z z Tanquam uxor mala ne vxor quidem sit . D●us . See A Wife indeed . as if an euill wife were no wife , deserued not the name of a wife : ) hath found a good thing ; and hath obtained a speciall fauour from God .

It was one of the first reall and royall gifts that a a Genes. 2. 22. God with his owne hand bestowed vpon Adam . And it must needs bee no small matter that God giueth with his owne hand . The Kings Almoner may cast small siluer about : but if the King giue a man somewhat with his owne hand out of his purse or pocket , it is expected it should be a peece of gold at least . The woman was Gods owne gift to Adam . And shee was Gods gift bestowed on him , b b Genes. 2. 18. to consummate and make vp his happinesse . Though he were at the first of himselfe happie , yet not so happie as hee might be , vntill hee had one to partake with him in his happinesse .

It was God that at first gaue Adam his wife ; and it is God that giueth euerie man his wife to this Reason 2. day . c c Genes. 24. 7 , 56. God , saith Abraham to his seruant , will send his Angell along with thee , and will prosper thee in thy iourney ; when he sent him about a wife for his Son Isaak . And d d Matth. 19. 6. Those that God hath ioyned together , saith our Sauiour , let not man seuer . As Augustine saith , that e e Qui creauit ●eminem sine homine , procreat ●ominem ex homine . Aug. de verb. Ap. 11. I●r. 1. 5. Hee that at the first created man without man , doth now procreate man by man : so he that gaue man a wife at the first immediately , doth still giue men wiues by meanes ; f f Prov. 18. 22. good ones in mercie , g g 〈◊〉 . 7. 26. euill ones in wrath ; the one for solace and comfort , the other for triall , cure , correction , or punishment . h h 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Eurip. Menalip . No mariages are consummate on earth , that were not first concluded and made vp in heauen : and none are blest here , that were not in mercie made there .

For the latter ; There is a more speciall prouidence of God in a Wife than in Wealth . Humane wisdome Point 2. and fore-cast , endeuour and industrie , may strike a greater stroke , and haue a more speciall hand in the one than in the other . Men of wealth may leaue their heires land and liuing ; but i i 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . Haud facile coniugem nanciscier bonam . H. Steph. Reason 1. they cannot so easily prouide fit wiues for them .

For first , they may bee deceiued in their choise . Many haue good skill in chusing of wares , in valuing of lands , in beating a bargaine , in making a purchase , that are yet but blinde buzzards in the choise of a wife . Yea the wisest that are may bee soone here ouer-reached . Since all is not gold , as we say , that glistereth . k k Ierem. 17. 9. The heart of man , saith the Prophet , i● deceitfull aboue all things . And , l l 1 Cor. 2. 11. C●rd● humana alienis oculis clausa sunt . Greg. Rom. mor. lib. 25. c. 9. Non est homini● scire quid sit in homine , nis●s●rte qui● ad hoc ipsum fuerit vel spiritu Dei illuminatus , vel angel●ca informatus industria . Bern. in Cant. 65. Reason 2. None can tell what is in man or woman , but their owne spirit that is within them .

Secondly , they cannot lincke hearts as they list . A Father may finde out a fit wife , and thinke such a one a meet match for his Sonne : and her Parents may be also of the same minde with him , as willing to entertaine the motion as hee is to make it ; and yet it may be , when they haue done all they can , they cannot fasten their affections . As m m Fides suadenda non imperanda . Ber. in Cant. 66. Religionem imperare non possumus : quia nemo cogitur vt credat invitus . Theodoricus apud Cassiod . var. l. 2 ep. 27. Non est religion●s c●gere religion●● , quae sponte suscipi debet . Tertull. ad Scap. Quis enim imponat mihi necessita●om vel col●…●uod nolim , 〈◊〉 velim 〈◊〉〈◊〉 ? Lactant. 〈◊〉 . l. 5. cap. 13. credendi . L●psius polit. l. 4. c. 4. Faith , so n n Nescit a●…r quo ( non ) libet cogi . Tertull. de pudic . Loue cannot bee constrained . o o Cant. 8. 6 , 7. As there is no affection more forcible ; so there is p p Non extorquehis ●m●ri . Cl●ud . Honor. Coss. 4. Non vt alia subiectis , ita a●●r imp●ratur . Neque est vllus affectus tam erectus & liber , & d●minationis impatiens , nec qui magis vices exigat . Plin. P●neg . none freer from force and compulsion . The verie offer of enforcement turneth it oft into hatred . There are secret lincks of affection , that no reason can bee rendred of : as q q Non 〈◊〉 te , Sabidi , nec passum dicerequare : Hoc vnum possum dicere , Non 〈◊〉 te . Martial . ep. 33. lib. 1. there are inbred dislikes , that can neither be resolued , nor reconciled . When Parents haue a long 〈…〉 e beaten the bush , another oft , as wee say , c●…th the bird : affections are set some other way , and cannot be remoued . And things fall out many times so vnexpectedly , such strong liking taken to some suddenly not once thought on before , and such strange alienation of affections , where there hath been much labouring to lincke them , and that where outward inducements of person , estate , yeeres , &c. haue concurred , that euen a naturall mans dimme eye may easily see & discerne a more speciall prouidence of God oft carrying things in these cases : And the tongues euen of such are enforced sometime to confesse , as the Aegyptian Magitians of Moses his miracles , r r Exod. 8. 19. Digitus Dei hic est , There is a finger of God here ; so with Rebekkaes prophane friends , in such Mariage matches ; s s Genes. 24. 50. A Domino factum est istud ; This is euen Gods owne doing ; and there is no contradicting of it .

To make some Vse of these Points .

First , Is a good wife such a speciall gift of God ? Vse 1. Then is Mariage questionles a blessing , and no small one , of it selfe : one of the greatest outward Blessings that in this world man enioyeth . t t Psalm . 128. 1 , 2 , 3 , 4. Blessed is euerie one , saith the Psalmist , that feareth God , and that walketh in his wayes . For thou shalt eat of the labour of thine hands : happie art thou , and it shall goe well with thee . Thy wife ●…l be as the fruitfull vine by the sides of thine house : and thy Children like the Oliue plants round about thy table . Lo , thus shall the man be blessed that feareth God . In the first place commeth the Wife , as the first and principall blessing , and the Children in the next . And surely to reason backward to that the Apostle doth : u u Rom. 11. 16. If the root , saith hee , be holy , the branches also bee holy : and , If the branches , say I , be holy , then the root that beareth them much more . So here , If the branches bee blessed , the root that beareth them much more . If Children bee a Blessing , then x x 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Hierocles de nupt. apud Stob. ●●m. 2. cap. 65. the root whence they spring ought much more to bee so esteemed . y y Psal. 127. 3. Behold , Children and the fruit of the wombe , are the gift of God , saith z z Is enim ex titulo Autor videtur . Salomon . Children are the gift of God ; but the Wife is a more speciall gift of God : shee commeth in the first place , they in the second : And gifts are vsually answerable to the greatnes of the giuer . It was a wittie answer of a great Prince , when he was disposed to be rid of a bold begging Philosopher : he asked a groat of him , and the King told him , a a 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Drachmam dare non est regium . It was too little for a Prince to giue ; hee requested the King then to giue him a Talent , and the King told him , b b 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Tale●tum p●tere non est Cynicum . Antigonu● Thr●syll● apud Plut. in ap●phth . Et Sen. de benef. l. 2. c. 17. It was too much for a Begger to craue . And surely God indeed in his speciall gifts to vs , is wont c c Non qu●ro quid te accipere deceat , sed quid me dare . Alexand. apud Sen. de benef. lib. 2. c. 16. Idem Perillo amic● cum ad silias ●l●cand●● taleta quinquaginta assignasset , is autem decem sufficere affirmasse● . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Plut. in apophth . to regard not so much what is fit for vs to aske or to expect , as what standeth with his goodnesse and greatnesse to giue .

d d Genes. 1. 31. God , saith Moses , looked vpon all that he had made , and behold all was verie good . And e e 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . 1 Tim. 4. 4. Euerie creature , or ordinance of God , saith the Apostle , ( and hee had spoken of Meat and Mariage in the words before-going : ) is good . All Gods Creatures and Ordinances are good then ; but some are more excellent than others . And Mariage being of this latter sort , it is not holy onely , but euen honourable also . f f 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Heb. 13 , 4. Vse 2. Mariage , saith the Apostle , is honourable among all men : and no disgrace then to any man . So are we to esteeme of it , and not to contemne what God hath graced , or to dishonour what hee hath honoured . We shall but wrong the giuer in debasing his gift .

Againe , is a good Wife such a speciall gift of God ? Then if we finde in mariage , inconueniences , hinderances , distractions , disturbances : Let vs learne what wee are to ascribe it vnto : Not to Gods gift or ordinance , but g g Si Dei benefici● vtentium prauitate perpendimus , nihil non nostro malo accepimus . Nihil invenies tam manifes●ae vtilitatis , quod non in contrarium transferat culpa . Se● . quaest. natur . l. 5. c. 18. to mans corruption abusing Gods gift , peruerting Gods ordinance , and turning that to his owne euill , that God hath giuen him for his good . For h h Iam. 1. 17. Si Deu● bonus , Diabolu● malus , nec à bono quicquam mali , nec à malo quicquam boni potest provenire . Aug. there is nothing but is good as it commeth from God . But as pure water may take a taint from i i 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aristot. de sens . c. 4. Cum ●qua ipsa nec saporem nec odorem habeat . Plin. hist. nat. l. 31. c. 3. Tales sunt ●quae , qualis terra per quam fluunt , qualesque herbarum quas lauant succi . Ibid. c. 4. the earth that it runneth by , or k k Si turbid● & nebulos● fluunt aqu● , aluei culpa est , ●on fontis : contra quam Hieron . in Apolog. ad Pammach . the channell that it runneth thorow , or l l Vitiatur aqua per plumbeas fluens fi●●ulas vitrum . Arc●it . l. 8. c. 7. Vide Mercurial . var. lect. l. 2. c. 8. the pipe that conueigheth it , and m m Tinguntur , eorumque trahunt si●ilitudinē , in quorum oram subeundo venere . Plin. gist . nat. l. 2. c. 18. the Sunne beames receiue a tincture from the coloured glasse that they passe thorow : so our foule hands and filthie fingers oft soile and sully Gods Ordinances , and our filth and corruption doth ost so taint and infect them , that they lose not onely much of their natiue grace , and are so strangely transformed , that n n Esai . 58. 5. & 1. 11 , 12 , 14. Secundum libidinem suam celebrando , sua iam , non Dei fecerant . Tertull. aduers. Marc. lib. 2. God himselfe can scarcely discerne his owne in them , but they misse also of their fruit and efficacie , and o o Improbo ●ihil prodest ; quia quicquid ad illum peruenit , pr●uo vsu corrumpitur . Senec. de benef. lib. 5. c. 21. Nihil potest ad malos pervenire , quod prosit , i●ò nihil quod non noceat . Ibid. of good and commodious , through our owne default , become euill and incommodious vnto vs . And as p p Potestas à De● , abusus ab homine . Ant●● . sum . part. 3. tit. 22. c. 2. Tyrannie in gouernment is not the fault of Gods Ordinance , but of mans corruption abusing it : so in these cases , the euill and inconuenience is not the fruit of Gods Ordinance , but of mans corruption accompanying it .

If wee shall finde then in the married estate troubles and distractions , &c. ( as q q Qui non litigat coelebs est . Hieron . aduers. Io●… . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Me●and . Semper babet lites alternaque iurgia lectus , In quo nupta iacet , minimum dormitur in illo . Iuven . sat. 6. the single life is commonly commended for quietnes ; ) r r Non quer●mur de autore nostri Deo , si beneficia ei●● corrumpimus , & vt essent con●…is , efficimus . Sen. quaest. ●●t . l. 5. c. 18. let vs not accuse God ; as Adam sometime closely did ; s s Gen. 3. 12. The woman , saith hee , that Thou gauest mee ; shee gaue me of the tree , and I ate : as if hee had said , If thou hadst not giuen mee the woman , shee had not giuen me of the fruit ; and if shee had not giuen mee it , I had not eaten of it . t t 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Homer . Iliad . γ. Gods gifts are all good . But let vs lay the fault where it is ; vpon our selues and our owne corruption , that u u Malus animus omnia in malum vertit ; etiam quae optimi specie venerant . Sen. epist. 98. turneth honey into gall , and good nutriment , x x Tit. 1. 15. Vis● Galen . de facult . aliment . lib. 1. Dulcia se in bilem vertent , stomachoque tumultum Versa ferent . Horat. sat. 2. lib. 2. Quemadmodum stomachus morbo vitiatus & colligens bilem , quoscunnque accepit cibos mutat , & omne alimentum in causam doloris tra●it : ita animus caecus , quicquid illi commiseris , id onus suum & perniciem , & occasionem miseriae facit . Sen. de benef. l. 5. c. 12. as the foule stomacke into choller , or , y y Quaecunque illis co●●●runt , in naturam suam vertunt , & ex se speciesa profuturaque , si meliori darentur , ill● pestifera sunt . ibid. as the spider and toad , into venom and poyson . Else shall we be like those of whom Salomon saith ; z z Prov. 19. 3. The folly of a man peruerteth his way , and his foolish heart fretteth against God .

Secondly , Is a good wife Gods gift ? then let those that want them , learne how and where to seeke them . Doest thou want a wife , and wouldest haue one , and such a one , as thou maist haue comfort in ? Seeke her of God , seeke her with God .

Seeke her , I say , first at Gods hands , seek her where shee is to bee had . Humble thy selfe in the sight of God , and betake thy selfe by prayer and supplication vnto God . Vse 3. a a Iams . 1. 17. Euerie good gift , saith Iames , is of God from aboue : and to be sought therefore at his hands : and if euerie good gift , this more specially , that is so speciall a gift , and of so principall vse . And , b b 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . 1 Tim. 4. 4. Euerie Creature or Ordinance , saith Paul , is to be sanctified by prayer . And if euerie Ordinance of God should be sanctified by prayer ; and it ought c c 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Marc. regul . spirit . to vshier all our actions , be they ciuill or sacred : then this also among others , yea this aboue and before others , d d 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . as that which ( through the blessing of God vpon it ) may proue a matter of the greatest benefit vnto vs , and without it a meanes of the greatest euill .

Yea , seeke her as of God , so with God . Aske counsell at the mouth of God , when thou goest about Vse 4. any such businesse . e e 1 Tim. 4. 4. The Ordinances of God , saith the Apostle , are sanctified vnto vs , as well by the word of God , as by prayer . Then are they sanctified vnto vs by prayer , when wee craue leaue for the vse of them , and a blessing vpon the vse of them by prayer at Gods hands . Then are they sanctified vnto vs by the word of God , when wee haue warrant , and take direction , for what we doe in them , out of Gods word , when we f f Io●● . 9. 14. aske counsell at Gods mouth . Then wee seeke them with God , when wee seeke them by good meanes , when we seeke them in due manner .

For when it is said that a good wife is of God ; wee are not so to conceiue it , that we are in such cases to vse no meanes at all ; but that wee are to vse none but good and lawfull meanes , such as God hath appointed , either prescribed or permitted . g g 1 Cor. 7. 39. The wife is bound , saith the Apostle , while her husband liueth : but if her husband bee dead , shee is at libertie to marrie where she will , but yet , h h 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . in Domino , in the Lord .

Wherein they offend , either that goe too neere , matching within those degrees that i i Leuit. 18. God hath inhibited : or that goe too farre off , matching k k Deut. 7. 3 , 4. 1 King . 11. 1 , 2. with such as for matter of religion they are prohibited to marrie ; and so transgressing those rules and directions that the word of God giueth .

As also those that bee vnder the gouernment of others , or that desire those that bee in the power of others to dispose of ; they then seeke in the Lord , when they aduise with , and are content to be disposed of by those , whom God hath giuen power ouer them ; or when they seeke not to them in the first place , but to those , by whom God will haue them to be disposed . That which not Gods people alone , but l l Genes. 34 6 , 11. Virginitas non t●ta tua est : ex parte p●… est ; Altera pars patri , data par● est altera matri ; Tertia sola tua est . Cat●ll . carm . nupt. Hinc Hermione apud Euripid. Androm . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Spons●lia judicium spectat parentum : Nec est virginali● pud●ris eligere maritum . Ambr. de A●r. l. 1. ●9 . the Heathen also , by the light of Nature , saw to be equall and right . When they take other courses , they seeke beside God , and cannot hope or expect any blessing from God , whose order and ordinance therein they breake . In a word , wouldst thou be blessed in thy wooing , in thy wiuing ; Take God with thee in wooing , inuite him to thy wedding . Hee , if hee bee pleased , will m m l. b. 2. 9. Vse 5. turne thy water into wine ; if he be displeased , hee will turne thy wine into vineger .

Thirdly , learne hence what principally to aime at in the choise of a wise : to wit , at vertue and wisdome , discretion and godlinesse ; for that is indeed true wisdome .

Salomon saith not , a faire wife is the gift of God . And yet is n n 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Act 7. 20 de Mose . di● in●… 〈◊〉 . Beza & Pisc. beautie Gods gift ; and o o 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Plat. po 〈◊〉 . lib. 3. ●ratior est pulchro zeniens in corpore virtus . Velvt Pincia●●s , Gratio● & pul hro●… 〈◊〉 corpore virtus . Quod tamen taxat San. ep. 66. Hinc Aristoteles , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Stob. tom. 2. c. 63. a gift of good regard . Neither saith he , a wealthie wife is the gift of God : And yet is p p 1 Chron 29. 12 , 14. 2 Chron. 1. 12. wealth also Gods blessing , where it is accompanied with well-doing . But , a discrcet , or a wise woman is the gift of God .

Many indeed there are , that chuse their wife by the eye : q q Genes. 6. 3. The Sonnes of God saw the Daughters of Men to bee faire : and they tooke them wiues of them where they liked : as if they were to buy a pictùre or an image to hang vp in the house , or to stand somewhere for a shew . But r r 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Nescio quis apud Eusiath . Beautie , saith the Heathen man , without vertue , is like a bait floating without an hooke ; it hath a bait to entice , but no hooke to hold . And , s s Prov. 11. 12. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Vet●res apud Eusiath . I●●d . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Eurip. Chrys. A faire woman , saith Salomon , without discretion , is like a gold ring in a swines snout . t t Prou. 31. 30. Color terrae boni atis incertus est autor . Pallad. de re rust . lib. 1. cap. 6. Fauour is deceitfull , and beautie is but u u 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Clem. Alex. paedag . l. 3. c. 1. Res est ●or●a fugax : quis sapiens bono Consulat fragili ? - Sen. Hippol . Florem dec●…●inguli carpunt d●●s . Sen. Octav. Forma bonum fragile est ; quantumque accedit ad annos Fit minor , & spatio carpitur ipsa suo . Ovid. art. lib. 1. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Isocr . ad Demon. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Greg. Naz. orat . 31. vanitie : but a woman that feareth God is praise-worthie indeed .

Others againe regard wealth onely ; as if they went about a purchase , as if they were to marrie not them but their money , x x 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Chrysost. tom. 8. serm. 15. as if they were to wed not the wife , but her wealth . But Salomon , when he saith , Houses and Riches are the inheritance of the Fathers : but a prudent Wife is of the Lord : hee implieth that these things may bee seuered , the one may be without the other . Lands may come by inheritance ; when y y Virtus non est haereditaria . Non est res beneficiaria : non obvenit . Sen. epist. 90. vertue may not . z z Bona , vnde bonumfacias , non vnde bonus fias . Aug. de temp. 238. Goods they are wherewith men may doe good , but not such as make those good that haue them . a a 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Themistocl . apud Plut. apophth . Malo virum qui pec●●ia ●g●at , quam pecuniam quae viro . Cic. offic. l. 2. Better it is , said the Heathen man , to haue a man without money , than to haue money without a man : so better it is to haue a wife without wealth , than to haue wealth without a wife . And surely , what comsort can a man haue of wealth with such a wife , that shall be as a corrosiue to his heart , b b Prov. 12. 4. Sicut in lig●● v●●m●● , 〈◊〉 per●… virum su●… 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . ●on● . 〈◊〉 . l. 1. Vse 6. as corruption and rottennesse in his bones ?

Againe , let Parents learne here what to aime at in the education of their Children , whom they desire to dispose of , and to dispose of so as they may bee a blessing , not a crosse or a curse to those that shall haue them : Not studie onely how to prouide portions for them : though an honest care also is to bee had in that kinde . c c 2 Cor. 12. 12. Parents , saith the Apostle , ought to lay vp for their Children . And , d d 1 Tim. 5. 8. He that prouideth not for his issue , is worse than an Insidell . Nor how to trim them vp , and set them out , in whorish or garish manner , to make them baits to catch fooles with ; but labour to traine them vp in true wisdome and discretion , in the feare of God , and such graces , as may make them truly amiable , as e e 1 Pet. 3. 3. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Cl● . Alex. paed . l. 3. c. 1. well in Gods sight as in mans eyes ; in houswifrie , and industry , and skill to manage houshold affaires : that so they may be helpers to their Husbands , ( and not hinderers ; ) as f f Genes 2. 18. Vse 7. to that end they were made at first .

Yea hence let the wise learne what she is to striue to , and labour for , that the may be indeed a good gift of God : g g 1 Tim 2. 9 , 10. 1 Pet. 3. 4 , 5. Cultus magna cura tib . magna 〈◊〉 tut● i●curia . Cato Cens. apud A●… . b●st . l. 16. C●… corpar●… nimius & ●●rmae cura prae●●●…rs animi defor●… Sen. ben . l. 1. c 10. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . ●rates . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Sophocl . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Lysander apud Plut. in praecept rupt . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Clem. Alex. paed . l. 2. c. 12. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Ibid. l. 3. c. 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Ibid c. 11. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Ibid. lib. 2. cap. 9. Not so much to decke and tricke herselfe vp to the eye , as to haue her inner man adorned with holy skill and discretion , whereby to carrie herselfe wisely and discreetly in that place and condition that God hath called her vnto : That shee may with the wise woman , h h Prov. 14. 1. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . build vp the house ; and be i i Prov. 12. 4. Digna suo coniux fida corona viro . a crowne , and k k Prov. 31. 23. a grace to him that hath her . That l l Prov. 31. 28. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Clem. paed . l. 3. c. 11. her Husband and Children may haue cause to blesse her , and to blesse God for her ; and count it a blessed time when they came first together .

Let her consider what a fearefull thing it is to bee otherwise . For her that was m m Genes. 2. 18. made for a helpe , to proue not an helpe but an hurt : for her that was giuen for a blessing , to proue a crosse and a curse . As one saith of Eve , n n 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Basil. S●l . Vse 8. reaft from Adam as a rib , and shot by Satan at him as a shaft : bestowed on him by God to consummate his felicitie , but made by Satans slight and her owne default , the meanes of his extreme miserie .

Fourthly , let men bee admonished hence , whom to ascribe it vnto , if ought haue beene done in this kinde for them : euen to God himselfe principally , whose speciall gift a good wife is . Let vs take heed how in this case o o Habba. 1. 16. we sacrifice to our yearne , or burne incense to our n●t . Ascribe not what is done for thee , to the mediation of friends , or to thine owne plots and policies , smoothnesse of language , fairenesse of looke , or the like . No : acknowledge God to haue beene the principall agent in the businesse : regard man and thine owne means , but as his Instruments . Of him she is , saith Salomon : not p p Genes. 2. 22. & 1. 27. as a Creature onely made of him , but as q q Genes. 2. 22. one matched vnto thee by him : nor ●s knit to thee by his ordinance , but as r r 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Torus ●●ri atque●●minae fa●al●t est . Aeschyl . Eumen. Haec s●…cet res v●a , si vlla , sato gubernatur . Dun●●● ad Lys. Vse 9. assigned thee by his prouidence : For that is it , that Salomon here principally aimeth at .

Yea , let them hence learne what they owe vnto God , whom God hath vouchsafed such a blessing vnto . Hath God bestowed such a Wife on thee , as Salomon here speaketh of ? It is a precious Iewell ; such as thy Father could neuer leaue thee . It is a greater Treasure than the greatest Prince on earth , than the mightiest Monarch in the world is able to bequeath to his Heire . We see how Parents are oft troubled in making search for their Sonnes , and yet when they haue done their best endeuour , misse of that they desire . Wee might here rise by degrees on the better side , as we did before on the worse . As euils , so good things , the more inward the greater . A s s Prov. 17. 2. & 14. 35. Luk. 1● . 4● . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Eurip. Meleagr . De beneficij● ac side servorum 〈◊〉 Dominos , consule sis Senec. de benef. l. 3. c. 18-27 . Et Valer. Max. l. 〈◊〉 . c. 8. trustie seruant is no small blessing ; a t t 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . He●●ed . Hinc de vicinis prosp . ci Cato praecipit , apud Plin. hist. nat. l. 18. c. 6. kinde neighbour is a great one ; u u Prov. 17. 17. & 18. 24. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Amicus alter ipse . Zeno apud Laert. l. 7. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Anima 〈◊〉 corp●r●m duorum in●ol● . Aristot. ibid. l. 5. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Pi●d . Nem. 8. a faithfull friend a greater ; x x Prov. 10. 1. & v. 20 & 17. 6. & 23. 15. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . - Menand . a wise sonne yet a greater ; and a prudent wife the greatest of all : a greater blessing than any of the former , that yet for temporall blessings may seeme of the greatest . And how do maried persons then stand engaged to God aboue others , whom he hath blessed in their choise ? A great measure of thankfulnesse owe they vnto him , proportionable in some sort to the blessing bestowed on them .

Yea , as there is a greater measure of thankfulnesse required of them , than of others whom God hath not blessed in that manner : so there is a peculiar kinde of thankfulnesse required on their part . All Gods fauours require thankfulnesse : and the more fauours the more thankfulnesse : but some speciall fauours require some peculiar kinde of acknowledgement , proportioned to the qualitie of the fauor receiued . y y Psal. ●27 . 3. Genes. 33. 5. Children are Gods gift : and our thankfulnesse to him for them is to be shewed in such duties , as hee requireth of vs in the behalfe of them , z z Ephes. 6. 4. in the carefull education and training them vp in good courses . In like manner : Thy Wife thou hast of Gods gift : and thy thankfulnesse to him for her , must be shewed in the performance of such duties , as he requireth of thee in regard of her * * Ephes. 5. 25 , 28 , 29 , 33. Coloss. 3. 19. Vse 10. , as of loue , of kindnesse , of concord , counsell , contentment , &c.

Fiftly , Is the Wife giuen vnto her Husband by God ? then must she resolue to giue herselfe wholly to him as her Owner , on whom God hath bestowed her , to whom hee hath assigned her . When Parents haue put out their Children , the Children must bee content to bee guided by those to whom they commit them : and when God hath giuen a Daughter , she must be content to liue with him , and be guided by him , whom God hath giuen her vnto . Neither is she to forsake him . For a a Matth. 19. 5 , 6. they are not to bee sundred , nor seuered , whom God hath conioyned and made one . And there is a foule brand therfore vpon her , b b Prov. 2. 17. that for saketh the guide of her youth , and forgetteth the Couenant of her God . Nor to refuse to be ruled by him : but c c Ephes. 5. 22. 1 Pet. 3. 1. submit and subiect herselfe vnto him , vnto whom God hath giuen her : for d d Col●… . 3. 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . that is comely , saith the Apostle , in the Lord : and to bee imbraced therefore of her , as her Lot by God assigned her .

Yea , is the Wife giuen the Husband by God ? Vse 11. then should hee esteeme her as a gift of God : and e e 1 Pet. 3. 7. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . liue with her , as with one giuen him and bestowed vpon him by God . f f D●num quis aegr● despici non ●er● suu● ? Wee cannot abide to see any thing that wee haue giuen another euill-vsed . And it be but a dog , an ●ound , or a whelp , if we see it neglected , where wee bestowed it , wee are wont to take it euill . But g g Brads● . Prep●● . to Lords Sup. part. 1. c. 4. if we should see a Iewell of some value , bestowed by vs on a friend as a token of our loue toward him , set at light by him , or should find it cast aside in some corner , would we not much more be grieued at it , and iudge that hee set as light by our loue , as hee doth by our loue-token . And hath no● God then iust cause to take it euill at thy hands , when hee shall see his gift abused , euill entertained , and worse vsed ; when hee shall see her mis-vsed of thee , whom hee hath as h h Pro● . 〈◊〉 . 1● . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . a speciall fauour bestowed on thee , and hath therefore giuen thee i i Ephes. 5. 33. Coloss. 3. 19. a speciall charge well and kindly to vse ? How are wee wont to be grieued , when wee see matters fall out amisse , where we haue been meanes to make the match ? If the wife be mis-vsed , that we haue holpen one to , we are wont to count it a wrong to our selues . And no maruell then , if God himselfe take to heart the wrongs done by vs , to those that he hath joyned to vs , if k k Malach. 2. 13 , 14 , 15. he haue a quarrell against him that shall transgresse against her , whom he hath inseparably joyned to him , to be his Companion and his wife by l l Pactum salis , pr● s●r●sanct● invi●●●bili . Numb. 1● . 19. a Couenant of Salt .

Lastly , if a good Wife bee such a speciall gift of Vse 12. God , then a good Husband is no lesse . For m m 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aristot. Eudem . l. 7. c. 5. the Husband is as needfull for the Wife , as the Wife is for the Husband . n n Genes. 3. 16. Thy desire , saith God , shall bee vnto him . And if the Husband then be so to esteeme of his Wife , and to bee thankfull to God for her ; then is the Wife no lesse to esteeme so of her Husband , and to be thankfull likewise to God for him .

In a word , let both man and wife so esteeme either of other , as joyned by Gods counsell , as giuen by Gods hand ; and so receiue either other as from God , bee thankfull either for other vnto God , seeke the good either of other in God ; and then will God vndoubtedly with his blessing , accompanie his gift to his owne glorie , and their mutuall good .

FINIS .

A Wife in Deed. PROV. 18. 22. He that findeth a Wife , findeth Good ; and obtaineth Fauour of God .

THis Booke of the Prouerbs is the Prouerbs . Christian Mans Ethicks : And it hath this preeminence aboue most , if not all , the Bookes in the Bible ; that many of them are Sententious , a a Totus liber , quantus quantus est , nihil nisi graues & illus●res sententiae sunt . Th. Cartwr . in Prov. 1. this consisteth all of Sentences . For what are Diuine Prouerbs , but b b 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 . Caes. hom. 12. select and choise Sentences . So that we need not stand picking or culling here : As hee said of Cyrus his Court , ( and I wish might be said of ours ) c c 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Xenoph. ●yri paed . l. 8. though a man should seeke or chuse blindfold , hee could not misse of a good man ; though wee goe here at aduenture , wee cannot doe amisse , wee are sure to meet with some choise matter or other . It is the manner of the Learned in reading of Authors , to set d d Mittam ipses tibi l●b●os : & n● multum operae imp●nda● , impon●m notas , vt ad ea ipsa protinus quae pr●b● & a●…or , 〈◊〉 . Sen. epist. 6. marks in the margine , vpon such passages as are most remarkable . But there is Gods owne Marke set vpon euerie Sentence in this Booke , not by Salomon onely , but by the Spirit of God himselfe .

Among the rest of these select Sentences , there are some , and those not a few , that containe matter Matter , Generall : concerning Mariage , either the Praise and commendation of a good Wife , or the dispraise , discommendation , yea and detestation of a bad .

The Sentence contained in my Text , is concerning the former , though not wholly without some Speciall . secret intimation of the latter ; as in the opening of it shall appeare .

And in it we may obserue these Particulars ; Distribution . Branches 5.

1. The partie commended ; a Wife : 2. The commendation giuen her ; Good : 3. The meanes of compassing her , by seeking , implied in the word , Findeth : 4. The principall Doner or Giuer of her ; God : 5. The nature and qualitie of the gift ; a Fauour .

For the first of them : A Wife ? may some say , What ? Is euerie Wife , or euerie woman then such as Branch 1. Obiection . Salomon here saith ? yea , doth not the same Salomon himselfe elsewhere say , that some Wife there is , e e Prov. 14. 1. that pulleth downe the house ? that is , not as a corrosiue at her Husbands sides , but f f Prov. 12. 4. as corruption in his bones ? or g g Prov. 19. 13. & 27. 15. like a continuall dropping in a rainie day , that maketh a man wearie of his home , and either driueth him out of doores , or will not suffer him to rest within ? And that h h Prov. 21. 9. it is better for a man to dwell on the house top , exposed to wind and weather ; or i i Prov. 21. 19. to liue in the wildernesse k k Sirac . 25. 20. among wilde beasts , than to keepe house with such an one .

To this there are diuers answers giuen . Answer . Solution 1.

For first some say , that l l Vxor , quamdiu vxor , quamdiu non adultera , licet difficilis morosa , contentiosa , rixosa , in bonis , in beneficij● est numeranda . T. Cartwr . in Prov. a Wife so long as she continueth a Wife ; that is , so long as she is not disloyall , but is honest , as we say , of her bodie , though shee bee neuer so contentious , vnquiet , or inconuenient otherwise , is to be esteemed as a Benefit . As m m Malus etiam Princeps nullo melior . P. Martyr . i● Iud. 19. Reiection . Exception 1. a bad Magistrate , say they , is yet better than none : ( n n 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aristoxen . apud Stob. c. 41. Et Sopocl . Antig●n . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Exception 2. Better a Tyranie , than an Anarchie : ) so a bad Wife is yet better than none at all .

But this seemeth scarce sound .

For first , it were but a verie sorrie commendation of a Wife , to say , Better such an one than none at all . o o Quale bonum , quod bonum non censetur nisi comparatione maioris mali ? Suspecta est mihi bonitas eiu● rei , quam magnitudo alterius mali malum esse c●gi● inferius . Hieron . in Iovin . l. 1. What manner of good call you that , saith Ierome , and before him p p Tertull. ad ●xor . l. 1. Quale bonum est , quod mali comparatio commendat ? Et in exhort . cast . Quale bonum , quod melius est poena ? Tertullian , that is not deemed or termed good , but in comparison of some greater euill ? That is not good , to speake properly , but q q Prout 2 Pet. 2. 21. Bonum ita est , si per se nomen hoc obtiet . Cae●erum si per mali collationem cogitur sic dici , non tam bonum est , qua● ge●●s mali inferioris , quod à superiore malo obscuratum , ad nomen boni impell●tur . Vt cum d●●itur , Melius est vno oculo carere quam duob●● . Idem ibid. lesse euill onely .

Againe , when Salomon saith , that r r Prov. 21. 9. it is better to liue on the house-top , or abroad s s Prov. 21. 19. in the wilde wildernesse , than with such an one , hee plainely implieth , that ( as t t 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Plut. ero●ic . Solution 2. Sophocles saith of some friends ) it is much better to be without her than with her ; to liue solitarie , than to liue with such .

Secondly , the answer of some others is , that u u M. Cope on the Prouerbs . Salomon speaketh this in regard of the end for which the woman was made , and for which God gaue her , which was z z Genes. 2. 18. Reiection . Exception 1. for mans good .

But neither doth this satisfie .

For first , Salomon seemeth to speake here rather of the fruit and benefit that commeth by a Wife , where she is such as she should be , than of the bare end for which she was made , or is giuen : And greater is Exception 2. the euill , if being made and giuen for such an end , she proue contrarie thereunto .

Againe , howsoeuer cc cc Genes. 2. 1● . the Woman was at first made for mans good : Yet is not euerie Wife giuen of God for good , but some , as Salomon saith , † † Eccles. 5. 13. of worldly wealth , * * In malum habentis . for the euill of him that is to haue her : as x x 1 Sam. 18. 21. Saul sometime gaue Micol his Daughter to Dauid , that shee might bee a snare to him . As Rulers are sometime giuen in wrath : y y Hosh. 13. 11. De● iratose●u●dum ●…erita nostrae rectores ●…pimus . Greg. moral . l. 25. c. 20. I gaue them , saith God , a King in my wrath : so are Wiues also sometimes giuen not in mercie , but in wrath . z z Eccles. 7. 28. & Prov. 22. 14. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . Stob. c. 70. Solution 3. The Sinner , saith Salomon , and he that God is angrie with , shall light vpon such .

Thirdly , others answer , ( and their answer is more probable ) that it is a a Piscat . in Proc. Synecdoche Generis pro specie . a Synecdoche , a putting of the generall for the speciall ; or b b Mercer in Prov. an Ellipsis , a defectiue speech ; that there wanteth the word good : as c c Esai . 1. 11. wooll , for white wooll ; and d d Malach. 1. 14. & R. Kimchi ibid. a Male for a sound M●le : so e e Leuat . in Prov. a Wife for a good Wife ; which the vulgar Latine therefore hath put into f f Bonam Vxorem . Lat. vulgata . Exception . Solution 4. the T●xt .

This may well seeme somewhat : but yet this is not all : there seemeth somewhat yet more in it than so .

A Wife , saith Salomon ; or , g g Absolute , Mulier dicitur . Lava● . a Woman : I need say no more ; h h Tanquam vxor mala , nec vxor sit . Drus. in Prov. clas. 2. lib. 1. & in d●…g . Ben-Syr . as if an euill Wife were not a Wife , an euill Woman were no Wife . As in the Iewish Talmud , an vngracious Sonn● is called i i 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 fili●● pro filio perdu● & ●…gato . Drus. 〈◊〉 Adag . Ben-Syr . a Sonne no Sonne ; and in Scripture , a foolish People is called k k De●● . 3● . 21. a People no People . And in the Greeke Riddle , * * 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Pan●●r . apud Athe● . 〈◊〉 . o● . 〈◊〉 . 10. ex Cl● . 〈◊〉 de griph●● . & Suid. post Platen . de repub. l. 5. an Eunuch , a Man no Man ; and the B●t , or the Flitter-mouse , a Bird no Bird : and the Ferula , or Giant Fennell , a tree no tree ; and the P●mice , a stone no stone : So a bad Wife in Salomons reckoning , a Wife no Wife .

It is like that of S. Iohn : l l 1 Iohn 2. 4. He that saith , I know him , and keepeth not his Commandements , lieth . But what then ? Doth euerie one that knoweth God , keepe his Commandements ? Doth not S. Paul say of some , that m m Rom. 1. 21. when they know God , they glorified him not as God ? yea , but n n Hinc ●…r A●r●ae . Vbi non est p●…a , non est ●…a . Drus. apoph●h . l. 1. su●h knowledge , in S. Iohns account , is as no knowledge : it is at least o o 2 Pet. 2. 21. Rom. 1. 18. 〈◊〉 . 12. 47. ●●m 4 14. as good as none . So , p p ●sa● . 56. 1. Psal. 106. 3. M●…a . 6. 8. Execute iudgement , saith God ; and hee saith not , right iudgement ; because q q Pervers●… Iudic●… , ●●m est ●…cium sed vit. 〈◊〉 . Aug. de 〈◊〉 . p. 2●6 . Wrong iudgement is no iudgement , but mis iudgement , saith Augustine . And r r 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , Iun. pro beno nomine . Mercer . ●…rus . Prov. cl. 2. l. 1. a Name , saith Salomon , ( and hee saith not , a good Name ; as if an euill Name were no Name ) is s s 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 . 1. better than riches ; or t t E cles . 7. 1. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Mer●●● . than a good ointment . And those rebellious builders of the Tower of Babel ; u u ●…s 11. 4. Let vs get vs a Name : and those great ones before the Floud , x x 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 V●… 〈◊〉 . Gen. 11. 4. Men of Name , or renow●… . And on the contrarie , we say of some , that they are y y N● . 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 . o●er . l. 1. & ●omer . 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 . Men of no note , or no Name ; that is , z z 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , Eustath , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . D●… 〈◊〉 . ●…p. 4. of no great note , of no good Name ; as it other than such were none . And in like sort here Salomon , He that findeth a Wife , meaning onely a good Wife ; as if none but such deserued that Name .

So that the Point of Instruction which wee obserue hence is this , that She that is not a good Wife is as good as no Wife .

a a Non ego illam mihi duco dotem esse quae dos dicitur ; Sed pudicitiam , & pudorem , & sedatum cupidinem , Dei metum , parentum amorem , & cognatum concordiam . Plaut. Amph. 2. 2. I count that no Dowrie , saith one that is commonly Doctr. 1. so called ; b b 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Nicostrat . Stob. c. 72. nor doth the Spirit of God count her a Wife , though she be vsually so reckoned ; where pietie , honesty , sobriety , modesty , and wisdome are wanting . c c Vxor mala , ne vxor quidem . Drus. Reason 1. A bad Wife is as no Wife in Gods account .

And that not without good Cause .

For she is but a Shadow without Substance ; shee hath d d 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Plut. de Sen. polit. Titulum ●●●e re . Nihil autem oportet esse sine causa , id est , sine re . Quia si sine causa ●it , perinde est atque si non sit , non habens rei causam rem ipsam . Tertull. in Marc l. 1. a Title without Truth : She beareth the Name ; but doth not the Worke of a Wife . For what is a Wife , but e e Gen. 2. 18. a Woman giuen to Man to be an Helpe and a Comfort to him ? But as f f Pater stulti non gaudebit . Prov. 17. ●1 . the Father of a foole shall haue no ioy of him : So the Husband of a bad or a foolish Woman , is like to haue little ioy , or helpe , or comfort of her . And how is she a Comforter , that yeeldeth no comfort ? How an Helper , that affordeth no helpe ? They are g g 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Euripid. Friends in Name , saith one , but not in deede , that sticke not by a man , but faile him , when he standeth in neede of them : So is she h h Quomodo de musto , a● passo , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aristot. de meteor . l. 4. c. 9. videatur Macrob. Saturn . l. 7. c. 7. a Wife in Name , but not in Deed , that affordeth not her Husband that Helpe and Comfort that a Wife ought , and that at first she was intended for .

The Prophet stileth some i i 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Zech. 11. 17. Pastors , Idol-Shepherds . And why so ? Surely , because they are as Images or Idols , that k k Solent Imagines earum reru●… nominibus appellari , quarum sunt Imagines . Aug. ad Simplic . l. 2. q. 3. & in Leuit. q. 57. & epist. 23. & 102. beare the Names , but haue not the Nature of that whereof they are Images ; l l Dicuntur , & non sunt . 1 Cor. 8. 5. Iren. contr. Val. l. 3. c. 6. & Tertull. ad Marc. l. 5. c. 13. Non est id quod dicitur . 1 Cor. 10. 4. August . de verb. D●● . 6. they are not in truth that that they are termed : m m Psal. 115. 5 , 6 , 7. & 135. 16 , 17. they haue mouths , and speake not ; eies , and see not ; eares , and heare not ; hands , and feele not ; feet , and walke not : they haue the limmes and lineaments of a Man , but without motion and action : And so those ; n n Esai . 56. 10. they are called Seers ; but they see not ; and Watchmen , but they watch not : o o Ezech. 34. 3. Locum pastoris tenent , & non pascunt : praedicatores dicuntur , & non praedicant : doctores , & non docent , Rad. Ardens in Vigil . Ascens . they beare the Name of Feeders ; but they feed not ; they haue the Titles of Teachers and Preachers indeed ; but they neither preach , nor teach at all . In like manner well may shee bee tearmed an Idol-wife that beareth the Name of a Wife , and sitteth in the house as p p Quod de Marito sene decrepito ille , Plaut. Merc. 2. 2. Ta●tunde est quasi sit signum pictum in par●ete . Vnde & Vidua dicitur puella juncta tali . Milit. glor . 4. 1. the Image of a Wife , but doth no part of the office or duty of such an one . Surely , as St. Iames saith , that r r Iam. 2. 26. Reason 2. Faith without Fruits is liuelesse and dead , as s s 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Sine balitu . Spiritus hîc non anima , sed balitus , seu ●●atus . Et aptè comparat opera flatui ; non quasi opera forma sint fidei , sed quia fidem comitantur , sicut balitus vitam corporis . Vt enim corpu● animalis , si non spirat , mortuum e●… ; ita sid●s , si non paritopera . Caietan . in●acoh . 2. a Body without Breath : such Faith is t t Cum fides mortua sit ●…ra opera , jam nec fides est : nam nec mortuus homo , homo est . D●dym . in ●a● . 2. Ille verè credit , qui exercet operibus quod credit . Gal. 5. 6. Hieron . apud Thom. Angl. in 〈◊〉 . 2. no Faith indeed , but a meere u u Cadaver fidei . Tuke ibid. Carcasse of Faith : So a Wife without Works , shee that beareth a Wiues Name , but doth not a Wiues worke , is no Wife indeed , but a liuelesse Image of a Wife , or ( as x x 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Vmbra ipsius . Gen. 4. 19. Lamechs second Wiues Name importeth ) y y Quomodo Menand . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 d●xit . P● . 〈◊〉 . de●…ic . a shadow onely of such an one .

And if she be so that performeth not the Office of a Wife ; what is she then that doth the contrary ? Who when she should be a a Genes. 2. 18. an Helper , prooueth b b 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Greg. Nazianz. epitaph . Patr. an Hinderer ; in the best things especially : like c c Sirac . 6. 9. the Friend , that prooueth a Foe , when he should shew himselfe a Friend ? when she should be a comsort , proueth a crosse , a curse , a discomfort ? Shee that was made and ordained d d Genes. 2. 18. for Mans special good , e e 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Basil. Sel. homil. 3. Quomodò Hera●li●us dixit , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Eustatb . Iliad . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . crossing the end of her owne Creation , and Gods Ordinance therein , proueth the meanes of his greatest euill ? Like the Scribes and Pharises , that f f Matth. 23. 2. sat in Moses Chaire , professing themselues and pretending to be g g 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Pastors of Gods People ; but , as our Sauiour telleth them , were indeed h h Iohn 10. 8 , 10. Reason 3. Theeues , and Robbers , and i i Zech. 11. 5. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Basil. hom. 25. Dicimini pastores , cum sitis raptores . Sermo in Concil. Remens . Murtherers of them , k k Acts 20. 29. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Epictet . apud 〈◊〉 . c. 5. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Basil. vbi sup. Non se lupis opponunt , sed lupos agunt . Cypr. nomine de dupl . Mart. Nen lupis gregem exponunt , sed lupos ipsi se exhibent . Bern. de convers . c. 13. Wolues either l l 2 Cor. 11. 14. in Shepherds weeds , or m m Ma●th. 7. 15. Huic scitum illud Aug. deserm . in mont . l. 2. Non ideò debent oves ●disse vestimentum suum , quia plerumque illo se occul●ant lupi . in Sheeps clothing , such as not only fed not , but n n Zech. 11. 5. Parum est nostris vigilibus , quod non servant nos , nisi & perdant . B●rn . in Cant. 77. Non instituunt , sed prostituunt ; non pascunt , sed maciant & deverant . Ibid. killed and destroyed those , o o Ezech. 34. 2. whom they ought to haue fed and saued . And certainly the good Wife is not so great a Blessing , but the bad is as great a Crosse. p p Eccles. 9. 9. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Simonid . ab Hesied● mutuatus . Clem. Alex. strom . l. 6. No greater Comfort vnder the Sunne than the one , q q 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Homer . ab Orphe● mutuatus , qui , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . &c. Clem. ibid. nor discomfort than the other .

Againe , A Wife is as r r 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Chrysost. t●m. 8. serm. 15. a part , or a limbe of her husband . As Children are said to be s s Parsque tui latitat corpore cl●usa meo . Phyllis Ovid. epill . 2. part of their Parents ; because they haue their being originally from them : So the Woman may well bee said to bee a part or limbe of Man , because shee had her beginning and her being originally from him . For t t 1 Cor. 11. 8. The Woman is of the Man , saith the Apostle ; and not the Man of the Woman : as Children are of their Parents , and not their Parents of them . The u u Gen. 2. 22. Vnde 〈…〉 . l. 3. 〈◊〉 . 5. Di●…m p●r co●… s●… ad 〈◊〉 Ad●… mi ascend 〈◊〉 . Woman was made of the Mans rib . She was at first x x Gen. 2. 23. Ide● 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 d●…a ab 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 vti Vira a V●ro . F●minas enim antiqui Viras app●llaban . Fest. Pomp. Hinc Basil. Sel. h●m . 3. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . taken out of man ; and is therefore by Creation as a limbe reast from him . And the was afterward ioyned againe in Mariage with Man , that by Nuptiall coniunction becomming z z Genes. 2. 24. Matth. 19. 5 , 6. one flesh with him , she might be as a limbe restored now and * * 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Genes. 2. 24. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Matth. 19. 5. Ephes. 5. 31. fastned againe to him .

Euerie Wife should bee then as a part of her Husband ; as a limme of him that hath her . But the Woman that beareth the Name , and standeth in the roome of a Wife , but doth not the office and dutie of a Wife , is but as a a Ocu● exemptiles , quales Lamiae singuntur . Plu● . de ●urios . Reason 4. an eye of glasse , or a siluer nose , or an i●orie tooth , or b b Qualis nuper depre●ensa fertur 〈◊〉 m●lite ad Bergam Somianam caeso . an iron hand , or c c 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , qualis Arcadici Va●…s apud Hero●… . Plut d●… srat . char. a woodden leg , that occupieth the place indeed , and beareth the Name of a limbe or a member , but is not truly or properly any part of that bodie whereunto it is fastned ; it is but d d 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aristot. 〈◊〉 equiuocally so called .

Yea , those artificiali and equiuoca●●●imbs , though they bee not properly parts , nor stand the bodie in much stead : yet are they rather helpfull , than hurtfull or harmfull any way to it ; they helpe to supply a place defectiue , that would otherwise stand vacant , and by supplying it , to conceale in part such e e Legatur 〈◊〉 . de curt . ch●…g . lib. 1. cap. 2 , 3 , 5. blemishes , as would otherwise lie more open to the eye of others .

But with a bad Wife , an vndiscreet woman , it is far worse . Shee not onely standeth her Husband in no stead , but thee is f f 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . An●… . a sore burden , and a foule blemish , and not an eye sore onely , but euen an heart-sore to him that hath her . g g Prov 13. 4. She h h 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 shameth him , saith Salomo● , and is i i 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 S●…ut de I●… , Pro. 14. 30. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Greg. Naz in B●sil . as rottennesse in his bones . And she may therefore be compared rather to k k 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Plut. praece●● 〈…〉 . a wart , or a wen , and that sited and seated in some conspicuous part ; ( for l l Prov 27. 16. she is as ointment in ones hand that cannot bee concealed ) which as it is no benefit , so it is a burden and a blemish to the bodie ; or to a wolfe , or a cancer , that m m 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , 〈…〉 o●…er . l. 1. Plu● . de ●…irt & vit. & de ●ua●it . consumeth the flesh , wasteth the vitall parts , and eateth euen to the verie heart . For n n 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 ; Sophoel . Antig●… . no sorer vlcer than a bad friend , in Sophocles his iudgement ; than a bad wife , in Salomons account .

Well saith o o August . ad illud 1 Ioan. 2. 19. Exicrunt à nobis , sed ●on erant è ●obis . Augustine of vngodly and bad-liued Christians , that p p Etiam quando in●er nos erant , ex nobis non cram . Idem de corr●… . & grat c. 9. though they bee in the bodie of the Church , yet are they no part of it : they are but as excrescencies , or as excrements , or q q Sic sunt in corpore Christi , q●…do ●umores mali Aut in m●… sumus , aut in 〈◊〉 hum●ri●us . Qu● se i● melius 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 . in corpore ●e●brum est : qui in malitia permanet , humer m●lies est . Idem in 1 Iohn . 〈◊〉 . 3. as bad humours in mans bodie : the Bodie is but the worse for them ; and r r H●…mores mal● cum cu●muntur , corpus rel●…tur . Ibid. were better without them . And the like may be said of such Wiues as these are . The one are in the House , as the other are in the Church : ( Such s s V●…r in d●me , 〈◊〉 in ligno . H●…m . a●v . ●●vi● . l. 1. ex Graee . Vers. Prov. 12. 4. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . a Wife in the house , as a worme in wood , saith Ierome : ) wasters and consumers both of the Husband and of it . And if the Wife be one , as Salomon telleth vs , that helpeth to t t Prov. 14. 1. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Me●and . build vp the house : surely shee that helpeth to pull downe that that the Wife buildeth , may well bee ●uled , u u Prov. 14. 1. a foolish woman , if you will , but no Wife .

Augustus Caesar vsed to terme his three vntoward Children , his x x Tres vomicas , tria carcinomata . Sueton. Aug. c. 65. three materie impostumes , or his three vlcerous cancers . And if foolish and vngracious children may well be so termed , as y y Gen. 26. 34 , 35. & 27. 46. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Eurip . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 ; Sophocl . Antigon . being no better to those that breed them : much more may a peruerse Wife , being no better euen in z z Prov. 12. 4. Salomons iudgement than either of those to him that hath her ; the rather since that as shee came from a part neerer the heart than they , so her peruersenesse may well goe neerer the heart with him , than their vntowardnesse with them .

As well therefore may a wart , or a wen , or a wolfe , or a cancer bee termed a part of the bodie , as that woman be termed a Wife , that is but a blemish , as a wart ; or a burden , as a wen ; or a continuall heart-sore , as a wolfe ; or corruption and rottennesse , as a cancer or a gangreane , in the bones of him that hath her . And no maruell then , if a bad Wife bee not accounted with God as a Wife , when shee is ( not onely as good as , but ) farre worse than no Wife ; when it is so much better to be without her , than with her .

Now this Point then may serue ,

First for Examination for women hereby to examine Vse 1. Examination . themselues , whether they be Wiues or no.

But , What needs that ? may some say . T is well Exception . enough knowne already , that wee are wiues and maried women . We were contracted before companie ; and maried openly in the face of the Congregation , all ceremonies and circumstances obserued that could bee required , or are vsuall in such cases . And the Church booke where we were maried , will testifie as much .

I answer . All this may bee , and yet thou no Wife Answer . for all that . A maried woman thou mayst be , and yet no Wife . For , though thou wert contracted a a Coram mille testibus . before a thousand Witnesses ; and married publikely in the frequentest and most solemne assembly , not by the hand of an ordinarie Minister , but of a Bishop or an Archbishop , no rite or Ceremony omitted , either the Wedding Ring , ( that Tertullian b b Annulus pronubus , Tertull. de Idololatr , & in Apolog. Etiam nunc sponsae annul' ferreus mittitur , idque sine gemmâ , Plin. hist. nat. l. 33. c. 1. Atqui aureus is Tertulliani tempore ; prout & nobis nunc dierum . more than once mentioneth , and c c De nullius idoli honore descendit . Tertul. de Idolatr . freeth from taint of Superstition ) or any other : Yet art thou no Wife , if thou doest not the dutie of a Wife ; if thine Husband haue not that good of thee that Gods Spirit here speaketh of .

Let me shew it thee by the like .

The Iewes were all circumcised ; and yet God saith by Ieremie that d d Ierem. 9. 25 , 26. he will visit all those that are vncircumcised , and e e Futile enim commentum est quod Autor libri Aruch habet , de circumcisis cum praeputio , hocest , gentibus quae circumcisae cum olim fuissent , iam ritum illum abiecissent ; quod Drusius tamen amplexus est . Videndus Cunaeus de repub. Hebr. l. 3. c. 5. the Iewes among the rest . Why ? might some men say ; were not the Iewes circumcised then ? No ; saith the Prophet ; f f Ier. 9. 26. Those other Nations are vncircumcised in the Flesh ; and you Iewes , though circumcised in the Flesh , yet are vncircumcised in spirit . And g g Rom. 2. 28. that outward Circumcision of the Flesh , saith Saint Paul , it is nothing , without the inward Circumcision of the Spirit . And , h h 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Rom. 2. 25. Circumcision is accounted no other than Vncircumcision , if a man be not a keeper of the Law . Or , to come neerer home : i i 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . 1 Pet. 3. 21. Baptisme saueth ; saith Saint Peter . But what then ? might some thinke : Are all that are baptised sure to be saued ? yea vndoubtedly , k k Marc. 16. 16. Si per●ectum est in corde , quod factum est in corpore . Aug. in 1 Ioan. 3. 9. Nec sane , hoc sensu , haereticum aut erroneum illud Iouiniani ; Qui plena fide in baptismate renatus est , à Diabolo subverti non potest . all that are effectually baptised : But the Baptisme that I speake of , saith the Apostle , is l l 1 Pet. 3. 21. not the putting away of the filth of the Bodie , but m m 1 Pet. 1. 22. the purging and clensing of the Soule . As a man then , though he haue beene dipt ouer head and eares in the Font , may yet in Gods reckoning remaine still vnbaptised , euen n n 1 Tim. 〈◊〉 . 8. as much as any Infidell , Heathen or Pagan , that was neuer offered vnto Baptisme ; In like manner may a Woman be ioyned to an Husband , yea and liue long with him as a Wife , and yet for all that be in Gods estimation as no Wife .

But how may a Woman know then whether shee Quest. be a Wife or no ?

I answer : Reade ouer the Rules that o o 〈◊〉 . 5. 22 , 23 , 24 , 33. Colos. 3. ●8 . S. Paul Answ. and p p 1 Pet. 3. 1. 6. S. Peter prescribe Maried Women ; and examine thy selfe by them . Reade ouer q q ●●ou . 31. 10. the Description that Salomons Mother maketh of a good Wife ; and compare thy selfe with it . There is set downe a Paterne and a Precedent for thee . There is r r Iam. 1. 23 , 25. In Scripturis quasi in speculo quodam homo considerare se potest , qualis ●it , Aug. de temp. 112. Sit tibi tanquam Speculum Symbolum tuum , Idem hom. 42. Mandata Dei , ●ive cum leguntur , ●ive cum memo . id r●…ntur , ●…am Speculum 〈◊〉 est . Idem in Psal. 118. Euangelium Speculum veritatis nemini ●…tur , neminem 〈◊〉 it . Talem se in eo quisque rep●ri●t , qu●…●●erit . Nos autem sic in ●o nos 〈◊〉 , ut ex ●o p●●siciam●s , & 〈◊〉 ●…sam 〈◊〉 , siqua in nobis corrigenda deprehend m●s . Bern. de temp. 78. P●… d●… specula s●nt , 〈◊〉 quibus se animae ●…ter 〈◊〉 , ex quibus ●…las su●● cog●…ant , vi●… 〈◊〉 . Idem de m●d . vi●. a Looking Glasse for thee ( as S. Iames speaketh of Gods Word in generall ) to see thy selfe in , and to shew thee what thou art . And it were to be wisht that as s s 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Socrates apud Laert. S●… Socrates discipulis 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉〈◊〉 in●…lo 〈◊〉 larentur , &c. Apul. apolog. Sed & 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Stob. c. 21. the Philosopher willed his followers to view themselues oft in a glasse , that if they found themselues faire and comely , they might be carefull to haue their cariage and courses correspondent , if otherwise , they might striue by morall abilities to make amends for and recompence what were wanting that way : so that euery Maried Woman did , if not once a day , or once a weeke , yet once a month at least seriously looke her selfe in this Glasse . Which it is to be feared that too many are theresore very loth to looke into , because they know how they shall finde themselues there before-hand : And as t t 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . De Laide Plato . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . I●l●ā . Anthológ . l. 6. c. 8. that old withered Harlot therefore cast away her looking Glasse , because she could not therein see her selfe such as she would ; so they shunne this Glasse , not affecting it , because they cannot see themselues therein such as they should . But u u Scriptura sacra quasi Speculum mentis oculis opponatur , ut in ea facies interna videatur . Ibi sentiemus , quantum profici●us , ibi , quantum à profectu distamus . Greg. Mor. l. 2. c. 1. Speculum hoc habet splendorem non mendacem . Formosus es ? formosum ibi te vides . Foedus es ? soedum . Sed cum foedus accesseris , & soedum ibi te videris , noli speculum accusare . Non te fallit speculum : tu no●● te fallere . Red●adie , judica de te : contrif●are de foeditate tua , ut cum discesseris tristis foedus , correctus possis red●… 〈◊〉 . Aug. de temp. 235. Sed & idem epist. 205. Epistola haec tibi Speculum sit , ubi qualis sis ●●deas , vbi d●…s qualis esse debe●s . Et Hieron . ad Occan. Speculum proponitur . Iam in potestate & consc●… singuloru● est , quales ibise aspiciant , ut vel d●lere ad deformitatem , vel gaudere ad 〈◊〉〈◊〉 p●ssint . Et Bern. de Consid. lib. 2. Admovi Speculum . Foedus se in eo vultus agnoscat . S●d & 〈◊〉 dissimilem inveniri se gaudet , in●●●ciat , ne forte & si sit ●nde placeat sibi , etiam in quo debe●●●…cere , non desit . let vs set the Glasse before them that they may looke on it , and view themselues in it if they will : which if it shall shew them themselues farre other than they would seeme to be , it is not the fault of the Glasse , but their owne ; let them blame themselues , and not it .

A Wife then , say those Apostles , is one , that is a a Ephes. 5. 22 , 23 , 24. 1 Pet. 3. 1 , 5 , 6. subiect and obedient to her Husband , as her Head .

But many by this Rule , will hardly proue Wiues ; being b b Non uxor , sed Do●… . Hieron . adv. Iovin . l. 1. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Chrysost. tom. 8. serm. 15. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Epictet . Enchir. c. 60. 〈◊〉 Domina : celebrandus natalis . Theophr . de nupt. Hinc to●●es Ovid . Nu●iet 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Domina●● ven●sse . Trist. 3. 3. Inque 〈◊〉 Dominae cons●…sse meae . Ibidem 4. 8. Et , 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Dominae natalis honorem exig● . Ibidem 5. 5. Mistresses ( as Ierome speaketh ) rather than Wiues , to those that haue them , or rather c c Quemodo Aristippus de La●de , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Laide . & Athen. l. 12. Habeo La●dem , non habeor à Laide . Cic. ep. 26. l. 9. whom they haue ; d d 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Mar 〈◊〉〈◊〉 1● . l. 8. 〈…〉 quam ea quo ad Laert. 〈◊〉 . being maried rather to them , then hauing maried them , as he speaketh . So that their Husbands ( if they may so be termed that are so mated ) may say , that e e Argentum accep● , 〈…〉 1. 1. 〈…〉 quidam 〈◊〉 non acceper● de 〈…〉 libertatem 〈…〉 when they receiued their Wiues 〈◊〉 , ( if they ●ad ought at least with them ; for euen f f 〈…〉 those that bring nothing oft are as 〈◊〉 in this kinde , as those that bring most ) ther sold away their owne libertie , and tooke in g g 〈…〉 a M●…e in ●…d of a Wife ; as the Cynickes Master d●● h h 〈…〉 a Ma●…r in stead of a Seruant ; and Nazianzen sai●h that i i 〈…〉 some Wiues doe in stead of an Husband : One that will k k 〈…〉 rule and ouer-rule them , as he said that l l 〈…〉 Queenes , or m m 〈…〉 Queanes rather n n 〈…〉 of 〈◊〉 condition , their Concubines did Kings ; and of the Persian Monarks , when that State most flourished , it was a common by-word , that o o 〈…〉 ther were Ma●●ers of the whole world , and their wiues their Ma●… , not vnlike Cato his complaint also sometime of his Countri●en ; p p 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Cato . Plut. apophth . All Men rule their Wiues , we rule all Men ; and our Wiues rule vs ; One that will guide and gouerne him that should be q q Prov. 2. 17. her Guide , yea and , it may be , command him r r Verum itaque hic illud A●brosij exhort . virg. Mcliori conditione Mancipia , quam Coniugia comparantur . Et Pallad. anthol . l. 1. c. 19. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . more imperiously than many a Master would his Slaue . They are s s 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Plut. de virt. & vit. no Men , saith one , but Bond-men to their Wiues , or t t 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Idem paedagog . Vide & Aristot. Ethic. l. g. c. 10. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . to their Portions at least , that endure it . And they are no Wiues sure , but Mistresses , or more than Mistresses , that offer it .

Againe , she is a Wife , as u u Prov. 31. 10. - Salomons Mother describeth her , that is not a good Houswife onely in the House , but a good Wife also to her Husband ; that x x Prov. 31. 11. doth him good all his daies , all the daies , at least , that she liueth with him .

Shee is a Wife then indeed , and none but shee , in whom these two concurre , that shee is both a good Hous-wife , and a good Wife too to him that hath her . But how many Maried women are there , in whom neither of these are ? how many in whom they meet not ? How many are there not Hous-wiues , but y y 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Theophyl . epist. 42. ) 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Simonid . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , &c. Plut. de virt. & vit. Drones rather ? liuing wholly on the sweat of their Husbands browes , as the Drone doth on the honey that the Bee maketh and bringeth in ? How many though not Drones , yet Droiles rather than Wiues ? that will toile and moile indeed about the house , as we say , like horses ; but are withall z z 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Simonid . Stob. c. 71. of so crooked and crabbed a nature , of so currish , vnquiet , and contentious a disposition , that their Husbands can haue no ioy , nor comfort at all of them : there can be no comfortable cohabitation or conuersing with them .

There may be good cause therefore euen for married Women to examine themselues whether they be Wiues or no : since that if they answer not that , which Gods word and will , yea which the very Name giuen them , requireth of them , they are as no Wiues in Gods account .

But here a Question or two would be answered . Questions 2. Quest. 1.

For first , may some say : If such a Wife be no Wife , may a Man then lawfully put away such a Wife ?

I answer ; No : As the Rabbines speake , a a Os , quod in sorte tua cecidit , rodas . Drus●in Adag . Ben-Syrae . The Answ. bone thou must gnaw , that is fallen to thy Lot . There is b b Pactum Dei . Pro. 2. 17. a knot of God betweene you , that cannot be vnknit . c c Matth. 19. 6. God hath ioyned her vnto thee either in mercie , or in wrath ; to be , as he saith of Rulers , d d Bonus si fuerit , qui tibi prae●st , nutritor tuus est : malus si fuerit , tentator tuus est . Aug. de Verb. Dom. 6. Answ. either a Nurse to thee , or a Scourge . And e e Matth. 19 6. Those that God hath ioyned together , Man may not seuer .

Yea but , may not a Man forbeare to doe the Dutie Quest. 2. of an Husband to such an one ? For f f Ita legit Iun. verba Domini , Ier. 31. 32. Et ego ill●● Maritus essem ? ut concil●et , cum Hebr. 8. 9. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Sic Cic. Phil. 2. Non tr●ct●bo ut Consulem : ne ille m● quidem vt Consularem . Et Crassus Philippo , Non es m●hi , Philippe , Consul , quia noc ego quidem tibi Senator sum . Val. Max. lib. 6. cap. 2. & Cic. de Orat. lib. 3. Sed & Christiane parum . Iul. Scalig. de Eras●…o Epist. 15. Si non est mihi Christianus , ●ur ego illi sim ? why should I , will some say , be an Husband to her , if shee be not a Wife to me ?

I answer ; No : g g ●eb●s Deo . Thou owest it to God . And it is not default of dutie on her part , that can discharge thee of thy debt to him . As Basil saith of Rulers , h h 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Basil. Caesar. Rom. 13. 5. 1 Pet. 2. 13 , 14. We must obey , the good as God , the bad for God . And S. Peter of Masters , that i i 1 Pet. 2. 18 , 19. Seruants must for k k 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . conscience sake be subiect to the froward as well as the courteous . So must thou doe the dutie of an Husband as well to a bad as to a good Wife , for conscience of Gods command . Doe thou thy dutie for God , and thou shalt haue thy reward from God . As our Sauiour saith l l Luk. 14. 14. of those that relieue the poore , though they cannot requite them , yet God will reward them ; so though she doe not with kindnesse answer thee , God will requite thee , in the Resurrection of the Righteous .

And so much briefly for Answer to those two Questions .

Secondly , this Point may serue as for Examination , so for Premonition , to those that are to enter into Vse 2. Premonition . this estate , that they consider seriously before-hand , what they vndertake , that they weigh well what they goe about : Not thinke as many doe , that they marrie for their ease , or they marrie to be maintained ; to be maintained in sloth and idlenesse , or in vanitie and pride : like those , who , as Bernard speaketh , m m Tum demum sine curis victuros se sperant , postquam ad curas pervenerint . Bern. epist. 42. thinke to liue without Care , when they haue gotten a charge or a cure .. No : thou mariest to be a Wife ; and that is not n n 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Greg. Naz. Apolog. Nu●um nomen . Quomodo Apul. in Apolog. Nuptiarum titulus falsus & imaginarius . a naked Name , or a bare title ; it is the Name of an Office , that hath many Duties annexed to it . o o Gen. 2. 18. It is not good for man to be alone , saith God ; I will make him an Helpe . He doth not say , I will make him a wife : or , I will make him a woman , that may be an Helpe to him : though hee meant so to doe : but , I will make him an Helpe . So that A wife is a Woman ioyned to Man to be an Helpe to him : And for a Woman to be a Wife , is to be an Help to her Husband . But wherein to be an Helpe ? p p 1 Tim. 5. 14. Let the younger Women , saith the Apostle , marrie , q q 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Quo loco 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 includit , quod & exprimitur , cap. 5. 10. quo modo & 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 etiam 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 con. prehendit . cap. 2. 15. breed , ( that is , beare , and bring vp ) children , and gouerne the familie . That is the end of their Mariage : and to doe that , is to be a Wife . And that therefore must euerie woman that intendeth to marrie , fore-thinke of , resolue on , and make account of before hand , if euer she meane to be a Wife .

r r Hebr. 13. 4. Mariage is honourable , as the Apostle saith : And the Name of a Wife is an honourable Title . We are wont to giue them place before those that bee yet vnmaried , vnlesse they be farre vnequall otherwise . But s s Henos omnis & o●●●●…um habet . Bern. epist. 42. Nec datur beneficium nisi propter officium . Reg. Iur. Can. Et , Rationi congruit vt succed●t in onere , qui substituitur in honore . Bonif. in 6o . reg. jur . c. 77. Vse 3. Admonition . euerie dignitie hath some dutie annexed vnto it . And t t Non est dignum vt inde exigas honorem vnde refugi● laborem . Bernard . epist. 87. it is not equall that those that refuse the one , should expect euer to enioy the other . Yea , the greater the honour is , the greater is the dishonour , if the dutie be not done that that honour exacteth .

Thirdly , it may serue , as for Premonition , so for Admonition ; for premonition to those that intend or desire to enter , for admonition to those that are entred already . Art thou a maried woman then ? As Ierom saith to the Monk ; u u Lege quod appellaris ; es●o quod diceris . Hieron ad Nepol . & ad Rus●ic . Cura esse quod audis . Horat. epist. 16. Read what thou art here called , and be that that thou art stilēd . Thou art stiled a Wife . But thou art no wife , if thou doest not a Wiues worke : no more than x x Zech. 11. 5. 16 , 17. Non omnes Episcopi Episcopi sunt . Hieron . ad Heliodor . Nec est verus sacerdos omnis qui sacerdos nominatur . Gratian. d●●r . d. 40. c. 12. Nec Episc●pus enim aut presbyter est dicendus , cum non si , qui praeesse velit , prodesse nolit . Iuell . apolog. the Shepherd is a Shepherd if he feed not his flocke . Consider therefore well what the dutie of a Wife is , that thou mayest indeed faithfully and conscionably performe it ; that thou mayest make good what in that Name is required of thee . Else as one saith well , that y y Ipsum rea●… 〈◊〉 est ●ium non . en . Sal●ian . de prouident . l 4. the verie title of godlinesse maketh the vngodly man guiltie : so z z Magis enim est damnabilis malitia , quam titulus bonita●is accusat . Ibid. the verie Title that thou art called by , will one day condemne thee . And it had better for thee neuer to haue taken that Name on thee , if thou doest not that that the Name importeth . For as it were no sinne for a man not to feed a Flocke , if a a Ezech. 34. 2 , 3. Locum pastoris tenent & non pascunt ; stipendia praedicatoris accipiunt , & non praedicant : doctores vocari volunt , & non docent : qui meritò securi aeternae damnationis succid●nd● sunt , quia terram occupant , & fructum non faciunt . Rad. Ardens in Vigil . Ascens . he did not beare the Name , and take vp the place of a Pastor , if he were not called so to doe : So it were no sinne for a Woman , not to bee in this manner an Helper to Man , if shee did not beare the Name , and supply the place of a Wife , if she were not called to be such an one .

And this is a great fault , with much griefe to bee spoken of , among many Professors , that they seeme verie carefull of the obseruance of the generall duties of Christianitie ; but are too too carelesse of performance of the speciall duties of their particular states and places : Forward Christians ( to see to ) in the generall ; but failing fouly and fearefully , when it commeth to the particular ; carelesse housholders , ( and you know what b b 1 Tim. 5. 8. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Autor . quaest. orthodox . apud Iustin . quaest. 3. the Apostle saith of such ; ) sond Parents ; negligent and vndutifull seruants ; no good Husband to Wife ; no good Wife to Husband : like a blinde Eye in the bodie , that hath sense and motion , the generall faculties , common to it with the other parts , but wanteth sight , that is c c Rom. 12. 4 , 6. Singula suum membra habent o●●i●iū : ●culus videt , & non audit ; auris audit & non videt ; manus operatur , n●c audit , nec videt ; p●s ambulat , nec audit , nec videt , n●c facit , quod facit manus . Aug. in Psal. 130. Videmus hominibus inspiratam velut aurig●m rectricemque m●mbrerum animam , sensusque inj●c●os ad ea dis●er●●●da , quae ●actu , naribus , auribusque & oculis i●dagantur , pedes ad progressum compositos , brachia ad complexum , &c. nihil aures agere valent , quod oculorum est , nihil oculi , quod aurium . ●…m . d● re ●ust . l. 3. c. 10. the proper function and office of it : or a lame hand , that is as sensible , yea more sensible it may be than any other part of the bodie , but either cannot , or doth not any worke . That which bringeth a foule scandall oft vpon Christian profession ; when wee shall heare , as many complaine , that they haue found more faithfull and diligent seruice in such seruants as haue giuen little shew of sauing or sanctifying grace , than in such as haue made great profession of pietie ; so others againe , that more louing and kinde cariage , and more dutifull demeanour towards their Husbands , is found in diuers women , though well natured , yet not religiously nurtured , than in many that would seeme to haue made great progresse in pietie : when many meere ciuill persons liue more louingly , more comfortably , more contentedly together , than not a few of those doe , ( wheresoeuer the fault be , sometime in the one partie , and sometime in both , ) that are otherwise verie forward and eager professors . As d d Plus in bono valere vires ingeni Quam Gratiam , infirmat valorem gratiae . if Nature were able to doe more than Grace could doe : or as if true pietie and godlinesse did not exact of Men and Women , a diligent , carefull , and conscionable performance of good Duties , e e Quaedam De● praecepta sunt communia omnium , non specialia aliquorum . Vt ergò audacem r●um temeritatis suae patenti objectione conueniat , non cum praecepta communia , sed propria & singularia contemps●sse demonstrat . Greg. in illud 1 Sam. 13. 13. Non obseruas●… manda●●● D●i , quod mandauit tibi . Vse 4. Information . as well in the one kinde as in the other .

Fourthly , it may serue for Information , to informe vs how God esteemeth of such as are faultie or defectiue this way . Art thou a Wife ; but not a good Wife ? God esteemeth thee as no Wise ; yea , as no Woman ; for f f 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Hebr. ●t & 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Graec. the same word signifieth either .

g g I●rem. 5. 1. Search , saith God to Ieremie , all Ierusalem thorow , if thou canst finde a Man ; or if there be any one that dealeth vprightly : as if the rest , those that were not such , or did not so , were no Men. As h h Ab Olympi●s l●●●s reuersus , ●t Laert. è ●alnco prod●…s , vt Hecato in Chrij● ; 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . the Cy●ick sometime said , that there was a great throng of folke where he had beene at a solemne meeting , but few Men ; and hauing called Men to come to him , when many came flocking about him , hee beat them away , and said , i i 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Laert. he called Men , and not them ; thereby implying that they were not such Men as hee meant . And surely , as such Men were no Men in his account : yea , bad Men are in truth no Men , how soeuer they seeme to be such : k k Erras , si istorum , qui occurrunt tibi , vultibus credis . Hominum effigies habent , animos serarum . Senec. Epist. 103. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Ex Empeda●le Theoph. epist. 44. You are much mistaken , saith he , if you take them all for Men that you meet with . They are Men in shape , but beasts in minde ; l l Omnes homines nati sumus : sed non omnes homines homines sumus . Quidam homines non sunt homines . Est homo homo : & est homo non homo , homo serpens , Matth. 3. 7. homo equus , Ier. 5. 8. homo jumentum , Psal. 49. 20. Secundum exteriorem hominem homo , s●c . interiorem non homo , sed serpens , &c. Origen . in Ezech. homil. 3. Men outwardly , m m 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 ; Luc. 13. 32. &c. Epictet . Arrian . l. 1. c. 3. Hos , vt ait Salustius , ventri obedientes , animalium loco numeremus non hominum . Sen. ep. 60. Beasts , if not n n Ierem. 10. 14. Ipsis ●estijs b●●lialior est homo ratione vigens , & ratione non viuens . Bern. de bon. deser. worse than beasts , inwardly . o o 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Lycurg . apud Stob. c. 2. All the difference , saith one , is , that the one goeth vpright , ( and yet p p O curuae in terras animae . Pers. sat. 2. & Lact. instit. l. 2. c. 2. In recto corpore curua est anima . Annon confunderis sursum caput habere , qui sursum cor non habes ? corpore recto stare , qu● corde repis in terra ? An non in terra est repere , carnem sapere ? &c. Bern. de divers . 12. some will hardly grant that too ) whereas the other groueleth vpon the ground . So bad Wiues are no Wiues in Gods account , nay , nor Women ; but wilde beasts , as q q 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Laert. Intrat bestia non puella : dis●urr●t fera , non foemina . Pet. Chrysolog . serm. 127. the Cynick sometime spake , in the likenesse of Women ; yea worse rather than such , as Salomon also plainely implieth , when he saith , that r r Prov. 21. 19. Sirac . 25. 20. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Pseudo-Chrysost . tom. 7. serm. 99. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Greg. Naz. apud Anton. Meliss . l. 2. c. 34. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Eurip. Ph●ni● . it is better to abide with wilde beasts in the wildernes , than to be tied to keep house with such .

And the like may and must bee said of the other partie . As the Wi●e is no Wife , i● shee bee not a Good Wife : so is the Husband no Husband , if hee bee not a good Husband . He is s s E● 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Chrys. in 1 Cor. hom. 26. Quomodò ●us●● . p●●p●r . Evang. l. 7. 〈◊〉 . 8. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . no man , but a beast , saith Chrysostome ; a wilde beast rather than an Husband , that is not kinde and courteous , that i● ha●s● and currish to his wife . He is no husband , if he do not the duty of an husband ; as she is no wife , if she do not the worke of a wife .

And t t Quod Aug. de alij● quibusdam ; Si am●● tal●s sunt , c●i●ges , 〈◊〉 is vocentur , non suat , de nupt. & concupisc . l. 1. c. 15. where both parties are herein faultie , and u u 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , uti scitè Themist . apud Stob. c. 67. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Lycurg . ibid. c. 68. Vse 5. Caution . rather bide than liue vnquietly together , we may well say of them , 〈◊〉 we vse to say , that they liue together , as Dog and Cat ; not as Man and Wife , but as bruit beasts , or not so well rather , as euen * * Ipsae ferae saevissi 〈…〉 genus proprium p●ce quadam custodiunt , coeundo , gignendo , partendo , ●oetus ●ov●ndo atque e●…do , cum s●nt alioqui insociabiles , & s●livagae . Quae enim tigris non filijs suis ●●tis 〈◊〉 , & pa●●ta 〈◊〉 blanditur ? Quis 〈◊〉 us , qu●… 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 circumvolet , non ●…gium 〈◊〉 pulat , ni●●m congerit , 〈◊〉 cons●v●t , pull●s a●●t , & quasi ●um sua 〈◊〉 ●●cietatem domesticam qu●●ta potest pace conservat ? Aug. 〈◊〉〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 . 19. c. 12. wilde beasts are wont to doe . They are no better at all in Gods sight than such : and they must looke one day to answer , not onely for the wrong that they doe either to other , but for the wrong also that they doe vnto God and his ordinance , by bringing through their fault a foule imputation vpon it .

Fiftly , this may serue for a Caueat to such as are yet to chuse . Doest thou want a Wife , and wouldest haue one ? Make enquirie for a good Wife ; else thou wert better haue no Wife ; better without her , if she be a bad one , than with her .

Oh could I but get x x 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . A●…r . 〈◊〉 . 46. Protinus ad censum ; de moribus vl●●ma ●iet Quaestio . Iuven. Sat. Ma●a cu●…a , vbi dos est , facile nubitur : Du●● dos si● , nullum vitium vitio vortitur . Plaut. Pers. 3. 1. C●…●…d foemina , quaeritur pecunia . Iul. S●al . epido●p . l. 4. a rich Wife , a wealthie one , saith one ; I were well , I were made for euer . And , Let mee haue y y Formosa virgo est , dotis dimidium vocant Isti , qui dotes negligunt vxorias . Afran . Virgo sormosa , etsi sit oppidò pauper , abunde tamen dotata est . Apul. in apolog. a faire one , saith another , and I care for no more . z z Iudg. 14. 7. Giue me the woman , saith Sampson , for she pleaseth mine eye . But as that worthie Grecian once said , that hee would rather haue for his Daughter , a a 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Plut. vita Themisto●l . & in apophth . Malo virum , qui pecunia egeat , quam pecuniam quae viro . Cic. offic. l. 2. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Eurip. Androm . a Man without money , than money without a Man : So better were it for thee to haue a wife without b b 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Diodor. Stob. c. 76. Dos est magna parentum virtus , & metuens alterius tori certo soedere castitas . Hor. carm. 3. 24. Dummodò morata rectè veniat , dotata est satis . Plaut. Aul. 1. 4. wealth or c c Prov. 11. 22. Mulier nequiequam exornata est b●nè , si morata est malè . Plaut. Most . 1. 3. Pulchrum ornatum turpes mores pe●…s coeno collinunt : Lepid● mores turpem ornatum sacilè sactis comprobant . Idem . Poen . 1. 2. beautie , than to haue wealth or beautie without a wife ; and so d d Quomodò Teles auaros dicit 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Stob. c. 95. bee as farre from hauing the comfort of a Wife , as if thou hadst no Wife at all . e e Multos tibi dabo , qui non amicis , sed amicitia caruerunt . Senec. epist. 6. Multi more isto atque exemplo vivunt , quos cum ●enseas Tibi amices , reperiuntur falsi falsimonijs , Lingua factiosi , ineries opera , sublesta fide . Plaut. Bacch . 3. 6. A man , saith one , may haue many Friends ( f f 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Plut. Symp. probl. 4. 1. Sic illum amicum vocasti , quo modo omnes candidatos bonos viros dicimus ; quo modo obuios , si nomen non succurrit , Domi●os salutamus . Sen. epist. 3. Non de vulgari ego amicitia , sed de vera loquer , qualis eorum qui pauci nominantur , suit . Cic. de Amic . such as we commonly call friends ) and yet among his many friends , hee may finde little friendship . And so may a man haue many a Wife , such as vsually beare the name of Wiues , and yet finde little enough of that good in any of them , that Salomon here intimateth to bee in a Wife .

If thou wouldest haue a Wife then , g g Vbi quaeret quis vxorem , videar an nuptias suas amet , an nihil pluris faciat marito , an misericors sit , an fortis sit , si quid viro inciderit mali , vna tolerare . Si his bonis fuerit instructa , dotata est . Sen. contron . 6. seeke thee a good Wife ; seeke thee a fit Wife . For if shee be not a good Wife , and a fit Wife ; ( and she is no good ●●fe for thee , if she be not fit for thee ; ) thou shalt haue no Wife of her . As a learned man said sometime of Rome hauing beene somewhile there , that a man might h h Spurcum cadau●t prist●●ae venustatis : Ne●●oma Romae compot , & tamen Roma : Sed Roma quae praestare non pote● Romam . Ius . Scalig. Vtpote vbi , Nec somnium , nec vmbra , nec s●nus Romae . Iul. Stalig . po●m . Et Ian. Vital . Qui Romam in media quaeris novus aduena Roma , Vt Romae in Roma nil reperis media 〈◊〉 Roma siquidem Roma non est , nihil h●bens praeter ruinas ruderaque , priscae calamitatis ci●atrices ac vestigia . Erasm . ●iceronian . Seeke Rome in Rome , and yet not finde her there ; Rome was so much altred from that that it had beene : And the Orator of Sicilie , after Verres had gouerned there , that men i i Vt in vberrim● Siciliae parte Sici●am quaereremus . Cic. in Verr. 3. sought Sicilie in Sicilie , it was by him so impouerished : And a Reuerend Prelate of ours , of Bellarmines latter works , that many k k Bellarm●… quaerunt in Bellarmino . Lancel . iam w●nton . E●… in desens . Reg. co●tr . Bell. apol. Ita H. Steph. de Pseud●-Gell . Titulis , Gellium se in Gellio desiderare . missed Bellarmine in Bellarmine ; they were so much vnlike to , and came so far short of his former . So mayest thou finde much want , and misse of a wife in a wife , if thou makest thy choise amisse . And so consequently doe thy selfe exceeding great wrong , embracing , with l l 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Videndus Eus●ath . ad Iliad . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Lucian . in De●r . dialog. & Serv. ad Aen. 6. Ixion , a cloud in stead of Iuno , or m m 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Eurip. Hel●n . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Lycophr . Cass. i. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , vt ex Stes●… Tzetz . with Paris , n n 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Prov. Grae● . a shadow without substance , a sorrie helpe , o o 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . - Lycophr . ibid. ex Sophocl . Antigon . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . - a cold comfort , a wife , and yet no wife , in regard of any ioy or comfort in her , in regard of any helpe or furtherance from her . And were it not much better for one to be altogether without ? For what can be more miserable than to haue a Wife , as p p 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Bion apud Laert. Nec habendi fru●tu soelix , & cupiditate quaerendimiserrimus . Val. Max. l. 9. c. 4. Hinc 10. Parkust in epigr. Est asino simil●s , qui obs●nia portat , au●rus : Oneratur eis , non vescitur . Et Plut. de auar. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . couetous wretches haue wealth ; to haue the burden of a Wife , and to want the benefit of her , to haue the care , and not the comfort ? whereas the man that liueth single , as hee misseth of the one , so hee is yet withall freed from , and eased of the other .

Lastly , Is such a Wife in Gods account as no Wife ? Let such then neuer looke for respect or regard with Vse 6. God , for any recompence or reward from God . If thou dost not a Wiues worke , neuer looke for a Wiues wages , neuer looke for a Wiues reward . There is no Christian Seruant , that serueth his master faithfully and conscionably , but q q 〈◊〉 . 3. 23 , 24. he shall for the same from God receiue a royall reward . And much more the Christian Wife , that doth carefully her dutie to him , whom God hath ioyned her vnto . Such as they be r r 1 Pet. 3 6. Daughters of faithfull Sara ; so they shall haue their part and portion with her . But for the rest , since s s Avidus ad merc●de , piger ad lab●rem , qua fronte sp●ras quod promisit Deus , qui non facis quod iussit Deus ? Prius audi monitiones , & sic exige repromissiones . Prius audi iubontem , & sic exige poll●…em . Aug. de sanct. 4. they refuse to doe the work , they haue no reason to expect or looke for the wages . Their wils they may haue with their Husbands while they liue here ; but they are neuer like to haue any reward at Gods hands . How can they hope that he should reward them as Wiues , who reputeth them as no Wiues ? yea t t Ideò d●ter . 〈◊〉 sumus , quia ●…res esse d●… . Saluia● , de Provid . lib. 4. worse therefore than no Wiues , because they ought to haue beene Wiues , and did beare the Name of such .

In a word ; wouldst thou be a Wife in Gods account ? Thou must then be a Wife not in Name , but in Deed. For , u u Rom. 2. 28 , 29. He is not a Iew , saith the Apostle , that is a Iew outwardly : x x 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , Oecum . s●h● . ●d Phil. 3. 3. Circumcidens cor , non metens carnem . Tertul . ad Marc. lib. 5. Illam enim non 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , s●d 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Apostolus appellat : quo modo Diogenes Zen●… 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , & E●…dis 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 dixit . Laert. vide Ierem. 9. 25 , 26. Nor is that Circumcision , that is outward in the Flesh. But he is a Iew , that is a Iew within : and that Circumcision that is in the heart and the Spirit is the Circumcision , whose praise is not of Man , but of God . So shee is not a Wife , that is , a Wife is Name ; but she is a Wife , that is , a Wife in Deed : She is that Wife , y y Pr●u . 31. 31. whose praise and reward is both of Man and God ; or if not of Man , yet doubtlesse of God : From whom , as shee doth the worke of a Wife , so shee is sure to receiue the reward of a wife , though Man should not yeeld it .

And so passe we on to the second Point ; from the Branch 2. Partie Commended , to the Commendation here giuen her .

A Wife then ( such an one as deserueth the Name Doctr. 2. of a Wife , as is a Wife not in Name only , but in Deed , not in Title barely , but in Truth ) is a a 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Hip●… . apud Sto. c. 65. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Clement . A●ex ex Eurip . Paedag. l. 3. c. 11. an exceeding great Benefit , a meanes of much good to him that hath her : He that findeth a Wife , findeth Good , saith Salomon . Good ; that is , much good , exceeding great good : ( For it is spoken b b 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . by way of excellency or eminency ; ) as if hee could not well tell how to expresse how much good might by her accrue to the Husband of such an one . And , c c Prov. 31. 12. Shee will doe him good , saith Salomons Mother , and no euill , so long as euer they shall liue together . * * 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . Benefits 6. An whole treasurie of good there is in a good Wife .

To point onely at some generall Heads of this Good , that such a Wife bringeth with her . For the Time will not suffer me to insist long on ought .

First , for Societie : d d Ad ineundam societatem homo naturae suae 〈◊〉 sertur . August . de Civitat . lib. 19. cap. 12. Man naturally affecteth company Benefit 1. Societie . and Societie ; and e e Natur● s●l ●…ium n●●il ●mat . ●…ero . de A●… . Quon ●do ●…tudo in odio est ; 〈◊〉 in ●…titio s●cietatis . S●nec . Epist. 9. shunneth Solitude . f f 〈…〉 potest 〈◊〉〈◊〉 socio vita 〈◊〉 ? ut ait 〈◊〉 . Cic. de Amic . Solem ●aque è 〈◊〉 ●ell●re ●…ntur , qui amicitiam è vita to●●unt , qu● nihil à Deis 〈◊〉 hab●●us , nihil 〈◊〉 . Ci● . ibidem . Sine qua vitae ●…ditatem sirmam ac ●er●etuam ●●nere non po●… . Idem de F●● . lib. 1. Summus autem 〈◊〉〈◊〉 gradut est soedus coniugale . Mel●…th . Loc. Co●mun . Societie is the very Soule and Life of Mans Life . g g Nullu●s b●m sine socio j●cunda possessio est . Sen. Epist. 6. Nihi● est ●omini amicum 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . A●g . Epist. 121. cap. 2. There is no comfortable fruition , or delightfull possession of ought without it . But h h Societate sublata , omnis est è vita sublata jucunditas . Cic. de amic . Sine hac enim nulla potest esse jucunditas . Idem pro Planc . Solitude is vncomfortable : p p Eccles. 4. 11. There is no warmth in it , saith Salomon .

k k Gen. 2. 18. It is not good , saith God himselfe , for Man to be alone . For some other Creatures it may be ; but for him it is not , being l l 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Hierocl . de nupt. of a sociable Nature , as m m 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aristot. hist. animal . l. 1. c. 1. many of them are not : And yet euen those also , though waiuing others , yet n n Vide Aug. de Civit . l. 19. c. 12. ad Vsum 4. Doct. 1. admit and affect some kinde of Societie , as that by name that wee now entreat of .

o o Eccles. 4. 9. Two therefore , saith Salomon , are better then One : in mankind especially naturally so made . And Adam in Paradise , though he were truly happie , yet was he not fully Happie : his Happinesse was not compleat ; he was nothing so well yet as he might be , while he was yet without a Mate . Yea p p Nec in coelo sine socio jucundè satis acturum se , Laelius apud Cic. de amic . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aristot . Ethic. l 8. c. 1. the Heathen man thought that though a Man were in Heauen , hee would haue little ioy or comfort , the lesse at least , of his being there , vnlesse he had some there like himselfe to conuerse with .

There is q q 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aristot. ad Eudem , lib. 7. cap. 1. much want of comfort then in Solitude ; much Comfort in Societie . But r r 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Antipat. de nupt. there is no Societie more neere , more entire , s s 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , &c. ( Infra Benef. 3. ) 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 ; Muson . de coniug. Philos. more needfull , more kindly , more delightfull , more comfortable , more constant , more continuall , than the Societie of Man and Wife ; the maine t t 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Hierecl . de nup. Prima naturalis humanae societatis capula vir & uxor est . Aug. de ●on . coniug. c. 1. Prima societas in ipso fit conjugio , proxima in liberis . Cic. Offic. lib. 1. Coniugium principium urbis est , & quasi seminarium , Ibid. Benefit . 2. Assistance . Root , Source and Originall of all other Societies : u u 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Arist. Ethic. lib. 8. cap. 12. Which of all others therefore Man is naturally most enclined vnto : And without which therefore euen the Heathen held x x 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Arist. ibid. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Hierocl . de nupt. the House and Family halfe vnfurnished and vnfinished ; and y y 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Sophocl . apud . Stob. c. 65. not fully happie , but halfe happie , though otherwise neuer so happie , till therewith it became compleat .

Secondly for Assistance . a a Gen. 2. 18. It is not good , saith God , for Man to be alone : I will make him an Helpe , or an Assistant ; not a Mate only , but an Helpe ; not a Companion only , but an Assistant too . b b 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aristot. histor. animal . lib. 1. cap. 1. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Idem Polit. l. 1. c. 2. & l. 3. c. 4. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Idem Ethic. l. 8. c. 12. Man being a Creature of the kinde , not of those that loue only to flocke , and feed , and bide , and liue together , as Dawes and Stares doe ; but of those that desire to combine , and worke and labour also together , as the Bee and the Pismire ; hee stood in need , as of Societie , so of Assistance . c c Adiutorium bonitas prosp●xit , ●●quid non boni . Tertull. advers. Marc. l. 2. God of his goodnesse therefore prouided such a Mate for him , as might also be d d Homo in adiutorium generatus est . Sen. d●…ra . l. 1. c. 10. an Helpe and an Assistant vnto him . And if Man before his fall in the state of innocencie stood in need of helpe , when his labour was no toile to him , no paine , but a pleasure ; then much more since his fall , now that his trauell is become toilesome vnto him , and the fruit of his sin hath brought so many burdens vpon him , which he was not before , nor euer should haue beene encombred with , had he continued in his first estate .

e e Societa● nostra lapidum fornicationi simillima . 1 est , que casura , m●●invi . em obstarent , hoc ipse sustinetur . Sen. ep. 95. Quo enim alio tuti sumus , nisi quod mutuis j●vamur officijs ? Fac nos singul●s , quiasumus ? praeda animalium . Caeteris animalium in tutel●m sui satis virium est : hominem imbecillitas cingit : nudum & infirmi● societas munit . Haec nos res fortes facit . Senec. de Benef. l. 4. c. 18. Much need therefore hath Man of helpe . And , f f Eccles. 4. 9. Vnde proverbium , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Vnus homo pronullo est . Dion Chrys. orat . 48. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Euripid. Heracl . Two therefore , saith Salomon , are better than one : not only because g g 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Homer . Il. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . they impart comfort and courage mutually either to other : ( for , h h Eccles. 4. 11. if two lie together , saith hee , they haue the more warmth : ) but because they may helpe and assist either other : for i i Hinc diuerbium ex Hom. ibid. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aristot. Ethic. lib. 8. cap. 1. & Cic. samil . ep. l. 9. & ad Attic. l. 9. ep. 4. if two goe together , it giueth the more strength : k k Eccles. 4. 10. if the one fall , the other may helpe him vp againe : and l l Eccles. 4. 12. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Nec Hercules contraduos . Plato Phaed. two may stand , where one may faile ; and m m Eccles. 4. 9. doing the more worke , they may earne the better wages . Now behold here a fit , and a readie Helpe . A fit Helpe , I say , for Man : For who fitter to helpe Man , than she , whom God himselfe hath fitted for man , and made for this very end to be a fit helpe for him ? n n Gen. 2. 18. I will make him such an Helpe , saith God , as shall be o o 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 vide Drus. quaest. l. 1. q. 59. meet for him : one that shall be as his match , as p p Malac. 2. 14. his mate ; one that being in all parts and abilities in a manner as himselfe , shall furnish him with q q Ephes. 5. 28. Quod de amico ille , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Alter idem , ●ive , Alter ipse . Zeno apud Laert. a second selfe , that may better and more fitly steed him , than any other help in some kinde can ; that being r r 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Matth. 19. 5. Ephes. 5. 31. glewed as it were to him , and so becomming s s Matth. 19. 6. one with him , may make him as two , who before was but one , as t t 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Antipat. de nupt. seeing , saith the Heathen Man , now with foure eies , working with foure hands , walking with 4. feet : whereof u u 〈…〉 the one paire 〈◊〉 watch , while the other ( if need be ) take rest the one paire may work and walk , if the other ●aint and f●ile .

Ye● an Help , as fit , so reallie at hand at all times , vpon all occasions at all assayes . x x 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 . dipno●…h . l. 4. Non sunt 〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 qui de●… 〈◊〉 . Sed & 〈…〉 fr●… procul 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Hebraeorum 〈◊〉 . Friends that dwell a farre off , saith the Greeke Prouerbe , are as good as no Friends : because they are out of the way when a man standeth in need of them , when he hath occasion to make vse of them ; so that a man cannot haue their helpe , when he would . But here is y y Q●…●e vete●… , praesto est : nullo loco exclud●●ur . Nuquam 〈◊〉 , nunquam 〈◊〉 est . Itaque non ●qua , 〈◊〉 , non 〈◊〉 , ut 〈◊〉 , frequent 〈◊〉 u●●mur . Cic. 〈◊〉 . Benefit . 3. an Helpe euer at hand ; as readie at all times to attend thee , as the Hand is to helpe the Head , or any other part of the Bodie is to doe seruice vnto it . And certainly z z 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . P●… . 〈◊〉 . ex H●m . O●… . 〈◊〉 . as there are offices not a few , that none can in many cases so fitly performe about a Man , as a Wife may : So there is no helpe that he hath , or ordinarily can haue , so readie at hand at all times as this helpe , because none so continually conuersant with him as Shee .

Thirdly , for Comfort and Solace . Societie is at all times very pleasing and delightfull : But in times of griefe and heauinesse , as the more needfull , so the more gratefull because greater need and vse of comfort Solace . then . a a 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈…〉 . The very ●…t of a Friend is amiable , and his company acceptable at all times ; but b b 〈◊〉 . 17. 17. 〈…〉 & 88. 18. neuer more vsefull than in times of crosse and calamitie , in times of danger and distresse . c c 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈…〉 . 31. The accesse of a meere stranger is at such times oft vnwelcome : d d 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . the presence of a Friend neuer more welcome than then . It putteth heart and courage into a man , when he is readie to sinke downe with despaire : e e 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Philem. S●ob . c. 112. Hinc Socrat. dictum , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . It putteth life into him and reuiueth him , when he is in a manner as a dead man , to see a Friend at hand , one that may either helpe to releeue and release him , or beare part of his burden with him , or f f 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , Eurip. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Idem apud Plut. de adul . & consol . ad Apollon. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . comfort and cheere him vp in the bearing of it , yea , or that may but bemoane him , and weepe together with him : For g g 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Greg. ●az . in Caesar. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Idem de Amor. Pauper . euen that also is no small comfort sometimes .

And of Helpe and Assistance the same may be said . h h Officijs vita humana constat mutuis . Omnisque ratio & institutio vitae adi●menta desiderat . Cic. Offic . l. 2. A man hath need of it at all times . Wee are as i i Rom. 12. 4. 1 Cor. 12. 20 , 21 , 22. limbes and members of one Bodie , that haue need one of another , and cannot so well at any time be without either other . But k k 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Pind. Nem. 8. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Euripid. ap●d Plut. de adul●t . helpe is nothing so needfull when we are free from aduersitie and afflictions . l l Psal. 22. 11. & 38. 20 , 21. It is neuer more necessarie than in time of trouble and distresse . m m V●se Aug. in Psal. 130. & 〈◊〉 . 15. When a member is euill affected , it hath more need of aid from it fellow-members , both to ease it of that labour that it was wont to take , and to procure and apply what may bee needfull for it .

Here is then a third Benefit that a good Wife affordeth . For n n 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 ; M●son . de 〈◊〉 . P●…s . who is neerer at hand , or fitter to minister comfort in such cases , to cheere vp a man in griefe and heauinesse ▪ as o o 1 Sam. 16. 23. Dauids Harpe did Saul , * * 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . ●lem . Alex. S●r. l. 2. to accompanie him , and attend him in sicknesse and weaknesse , as p p 1 King . 1. 4. A●ish●● did Dauid ; to bee a● a Musitian to him in the one , as a Physitian in the other : as q q ●●●lip . 4 4. ●nde 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , & Con 〈◊〉〈◊〉 ; E● 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , Con●ugium . to draw in the same yoke with him , in his labours and trauels , so to beare part of the burden with him in his crosses and troubles , which if r r Ga●●● . 6. 2. ●hil ▪ 1. 7. 〈◊〉 . 10. 3● . all true Christians in generall doe mutually with their Christian bre●●ren , Christian Man and Wife much more .

This vse of a Wife , Paradise was not acquainted withall . s s 〈◊〉 nu●●a est 〈◊〉 s●…o , vbi nulla est ●…o . B●r● . de 〈◊〉 . 22. ●●m q●i 〈◊〉〈◊〉 ●git , s●l●… 〈◊〉〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 . ●enefit 4. 〈◊〉 . There is no Consolation , where there is no desolation ; saith Bernard . There is t t Mis●ri●●rdia●…s 〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Bern. de temp. 35. At cess●t 〈…〉 . Aug. d● 10. 〈◊〉 . no need of mercie , where there is no mi●r●e ; nor vse of comfort , where no crosse is . And i● in Paradise then , a place all of delight , u u 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Gen. 2. 8. & 13. 10. a garden of pleasure , there was yet need of he●pe and societie , and of the helpe and societie of such a one , whom yet there was not then this vse of : How much more then in this world , in this x x 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Sept. Ps●l. ●4 . 6. 〈…〉 ergastulo , 〈…〉 . Bern. d● don . S●●r . ●anct . vale of teares , where crosses are so rife , which there were not , and where the more crosses Man is encombred with , and hath to encounter withall , the more need of Comfort and A●●istance he hath ?

Fourthly , for I●●ue . a a Psalm . 127. 3. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . H●… . de nupt. Co●… stor●s . 〈…〉 . l. 2. c. 〈◊〉 . fru●●us . ●e●tull . ad● . Marc ▪ l. 4. Children , saith the Psalmist , and the fruit of the wombe , are an Inheritance of the Lord . b b Genes. 1. 28. God blessed them , saith Moses , when hee said , Encrease , and multiply ; and by so saying conferred a power of propagation vpon them . For c c Deus cum benedicit , facit quod di●it . Aug. Dei benedicere nihil est aliud quam bene●acere . Thom. Aquin. in 2 Cor. 1. God ▪ saith Augustine , when he blesseth , he doth what he saith . d d Genes. 9. 1. The power of propagation then is Gods blessing . And indeed what greater blessing could God bestow vpon Man ? what greater honour & dignitie could he endow man withal ▪ than this , to make him an able Instrument of procreating and producing one in all respects like himselfe , e e Psal. 8. 5 , 6. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Chrysost. in Gen. hom. 8. the chiefe of Gods works ; of f f 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aris●ot . Ethic. l. 8. c. 12. & l. 9 c. 2. giuing being to a Creature endowed with Gods Image , wherein himselfe had beene created ?

It hath been held as great , if not a greater honour , g g 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Ditare regium mage quam dites●cre . P●olom . Lag . Plut. apsphth . Et Man . Curius Samnitibus , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Plut. Ibid . Non aurum ●abere pr●clarum ; sed eis , qui aurum haberent , imperare . Cic. de sene●● . Malle lecuple●ibus imperare , quam ipsum ●i●ri locupletem . Valer. Max. l. 4. c. 3. to enrich , as to be rich ; and h h Habere regnum cas●● est , virtus dare . Sen. Thyest. 3. 2. to make a King , as to be one . It was Mans preheminence aboue the rest of Gods Creatures , that i i Gen. 1. 26 , 27. & 9. 6. 1 Cor. 11. 7. he bare by Creation the Image of his Creator ; which none of them did , ( the k k Inane siquidem est quod Chrysost. in Col. hom. 3. & serm. de Trinit. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Angels alone excepted ) but he onely . It was a second honour , little inferiour , if at all , to the former , ( and l l Neque enim solidum est quod Greg. Nyss ▪ tradit de Angelorum propagatione & multiplicatione . li● . de hom. opific. c. 17. In Ang●lis siquidem non est naturae propagatio . Me●anct● . loc. com . wherin Man outgoeth euen the Angels themselues also ) to be enabled by procreation to produce such another as God himselfe had created ; and by so doing to come m m 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Basil. Sel. hom. 1. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Clem. Alex. p●dag . l. 2. c. 10. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Philo de decalog . to imitate and to resemble God n n Eccles. 12. 1. Genes. 9. 6. ●is Creator , and o o Esai . 64. 8. Malac. 2. 10. Matth. 23. 9. Luke 3. 38. his Father , not in Name and Title onely , but in act , and in truth .

This was a great Be●e●●t before Mans fall . In some respects it is farre greater since his fall . Man was then immortall : p p Psalm . 49. 20. & 89. 48. & 146. 4. Eccles. 3. 19. he is now become mortall and corruptible . And want of issue is consequently now more vncomfortable , when men are subiect to mortalitie , than it had then beene , when Man was himselfe , to haue liued alwayes . q q Genes. 15. 2. Good Lord , saith Abraham to God , what wilt thou giue me , when I goe childlesse ? r r 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Pindar . Olymp. 10. Hee had little comfort of all his s s Genes. 13. 2. great wealth and store , ( t t 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . M●nand . S●o● . c. 73. which is wont to make sterilitie the more vncomfortable , the greater it is ) so long as hee wanted an Heire to leaue it vnto , when hee should leaue this World himselfe . And it was that in all likelihood that made u u 2 King . 20. 1 , 2. Esai . 38. 1 , 3. the Prophet Esayes message so harsh and heauie to King Ezekiah , when hee brought him word that he should die ; x x Fleuit fletu magne , quia eo tempore ●●li●s non●abebat . Hiero● . i●●sai . because had he then died , hee had died without issue : For his Sonne Manasses that succeeded him , hauing y y 2 King . 20. 5. ●sai . 38. 5. fifteene yeeres at least suruiued that fit of sicknesse , was but z z 2 King . 21. 1. 2 Chron. 33. 1 twelue yeeres old at the time of his Fathers decease . But by means of propagation Man attaineth to a a 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Pla●o Sympo● . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Idem d● leg . l. 6. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aristot. O●conom . l. 1. c. 3. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . I●●●inian . apud Duaren . disput. l. 1. c. 40. Et ante illum Augustus apud Dion . l. 56. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Quibus gemina Pl●t●nis qu●dam apud●●ē . Alex. leg●tur 〈◊〉 . l. 2. a kinde of immortalitie , to a kinde of eternitie ; and b b 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Chrysost tom. 5. serm. 49. In prole se rel●nquit , se scrit parens . Iul. Scalig. ep●…rp . l. 1. in his posteritie suruiueth himselfe . * * 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aeschyl . Chereph . Quae ta nen S●phocli tribuit . Clem. Strom. l. 2. The Father , we say , is not dead , as long as the Sonne liueth . A Man is not vtterly extinct , so long as any one remaineth of his race .

To haue issue then is a great Blessing . And it is c c 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Greg. Naz. de pace . 2. Benefit 5. Remedie . a greater honour , saith Gregorie Nazianzene , to bee Father of one Sonne , than to bee Master of a thousand seruants . And * * 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Clem. Alex. Strom. l. 2. if issue be such a blessing , what is the meanes of obtaining it ? If the d d Psal. 127. 3. Fruit bee so blessed , what is the e e Psal. 128. 3. root then that beareth it , and without which it cannot with comfort be had ? For f f 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aristot. Oeconom . l. 1. c. 3. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Isidor . Pelus . l. 3. ep. 12. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Clem. Strom. l. 2. without a Woman , issue cannot at all , g g 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Muson . de napt . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Clem. Alex. paedag . l. 2. c. 10. Hinc D●mosib . in Ne●r . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . without a Wife it cannot lawfully , without such a Wife it cannot comfortably bee had . And indeed what comfort can a man haue either of such issue as is a fowle staine and a reproach to him , the sight whereof cannot but minister continuall matter of remorse to him , and renue the memorie , so oft as hee seeth it or mindeth it , of his sinne and of his shame ; or of issue by such an one , who when shee should be * * Prov. 5. 19. Ezek. 24. 16. the light of his eyes , and the ioy of his heart , is as a thorne continually in his eyes , and a sting at his verie heart ?

Fiftly , for Remedie against Incontinencie . A benefit likewise that before Mans fall was not , because then there was no need of it . h h Matth. 9. 12. The whole , saith our Sauiour , need no Physitian . Nor needed Man therefore 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Chrys● . 〈◊〉 . 5. s●… . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 ante l. ps●…●●ni● adoss●… ; po●●●…sum aegrotis ad●…um . Aug. de Gen. ad lit . l. 9. c. 7. & I. Lombard . 〈◊〉 . l 4. d. 26. B. then this Physuke , while hee was yet in perfect health . It is now otherwise with him ; And , k k 1 Cor. 7. 2. to auoid fornication therefore , saith the Apostle , let each Man haue his Wife , and each Woman her Husband .

l l 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aristot. Ethic. l. 3. c. 11. Hoc est naturâ commune omnium ani●…tium , vt habea●t ●…em pro●… . Cic. offi● . l 1. There is in most Men and Women naturally an inclination and propension to the ●…ll coniunction . m m Requirit Vir costam suam : requirit Foemina sedem suam . Hinc Ruth . 3. 1 , 9. An non q●…m ti i req●… ? Et Aben-●zra , Non est req●… 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . D●… . ibid. The Man seeketh his rib , say the Rabbines ; and the Woman the Mans side . The Man misseth his rib , and seeketh to recouer it againe : and the Woman would be in her old place againe , vnder the Mans arme or wing , n n Genes. 2. 21 , 22. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈…〉 . 12. from whence at first thee was taken . o o 〈…〉 Aug. nomine de bon. 〈◊〉 . cap 8. Nor is this affection and disposition at all euil simply of it selfe . But since that sinne came in by the fall of our first Parents , Mankind hauing lost that power and command of it selfe that before it had ; this affection is not only p p 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈…〉 . 12. tainted and mixed generally with much silth , but it is growne so q q 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 . Pelus . l. 3. epist. 12 Sed & Chrysost. & O●… . ad 1 Cor. 7. 9. violent , impetuous and head-strong with the most , that it is readie to break forth into grieuous inconueniences , if some course be not taken for the repression and restraint of it . Now r r 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Chrys●st . de Oz●… . 3. 〈…〉 in Gen. ad lit . l. 9. c. 7. for remedie hereof in part hath God appointed this his Ordinance . Which cannot therefore but be esteemed as a singular Benefit and Blessing of all those that finde such infirmitie and s s 2 Cor. 7. 1. defect in themselues ; and howsoeuer they may be able so to containe themselues that it shall neuer breake forth into any grosse impure act , yet desire to keepe themselues t t 2 Cor. 7. 1. vnspotted as well in soule as in bodie , and to approue themselues vnto God in all puritie , as farre as may be , euen there also , where u u 1 Sam. 16. 7. Corda enim aliena humanis oculis clausa sunt , 1 Cor. 2. 11. Greg. Mor. l. 25. c. 9. Benefit 6. Honour . none seeth but he himselfe .

Adde wee hereunto in the last place , that a wise Woman , a discreet Wife is no small x x Prou. 31. 23. grace and Honour to her Husband . And surely if any y y ●●●er 5. 11. Esay 39. 2. outward thing may helpe to grace a Man , apparell , jewels , plate , hangings , house-furniture , attendants , followers , retinue , reuenew , issue , &c. then a worthie Wife as much as , yea much more than any such . z z Sirac . 26. 14. No greater grace to a Man , than to haue a discreet Wife , as no greater a a 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Prou. 12. 4. disgrace than to be matched to a foole .

b b 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Clem. Alex. Paedag. l. 2. c. 8. Vxor corus●●t radijs mariti . Iustin . Authent . collat. 〈◊〉 . tit. 3. The Husband , saith Clemens of Alexandria , is a Crowne to his Wife . And , c c 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Prou. 12. 4. Digna suo coniux fid● cor●n● viro . W. Couper . A worthy Woman , saith Salomon , is a Crowne to her Husband : d d Non annulus , non ●●rques aur●us , non ●onile , sed corona . Tho. Cartwr . Not a gold-ring on his finger ; ( and yet e e Gen. 41. 42. ●●t. 3. 10. Luc. 15. 22. Hinc 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Iam. 2. 2. Ci●●r●ni nemo ducentos Nunc dederit nummos , nisi fulserit ●n●ulus ingens . - Ideò conducta Paulu● agebat Sard●nyche ; atque ideò pluris quam Cossus agebat . Iuvenal . sat. 7. De iure annuli aur●i . Plin. hist. nat. l. 33. c. 1. that is accounted some grace too : ) nor f f Prou. 1. 9. a Chaine of gold about his necke ; ( that is somewhat more in the eye , and is g g Genes. 41. 42. Hinc Manlius Torquatus à torque aure● quem 〈◊〉 superato detraxerat . Liv. hist. l. 7. Plin. hist. Nat. l. 33. c. 1 Et ex Cl. Quadrigari● Gell. ●●st . Attic. l. 9. c. 13. vsuall only with great ones : ) nor a brouch in his Hat ; but h h 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 vti Prou. 4. 9. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Chrysost. tom. 8. serm. 15. a crowne vpon his Head : euen a crowne of gold vpon the Head of her Husband , her Head : an ornament more conspicuous and eminent than any of the former ; the proper and peculiar i i 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Psal. 21. 3. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 2 Sam. 12. 30. attire of Princes ; the principall k k 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Ester 1. 11. & 2. 17. & 6. 8. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Gregor. Naz. pro pauper . ensigne of the highest Honour .

The Romane Ladie l l Cornelia Gracchorum mater cum campana hospita ornamenta illi sua ostenderet , traxit eam sermone qu●usque è schola redirent liberi , & Haec , inquit , ornamenta mea sunt . Ex Pompon . Rufi . collect . Val. Max. memorab . l. 4. c. 4. Cornelia counted her two worthy Sons her chiefest Iewels , whom shee shewed therefore to a stranger lodging with her , that desired to see what Iewels shee had : as of m m 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Ex Serini memorab . Stob. c. 73. a Spartan Woman also the like is reported . Her n n 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . - Euripid. Meleagr . Maxima ornamenta matr●●is liberi . Val. Max. l. 4. c. 4. Children were the richest Iewels that shee had ; She the pretiousest Iewell that her Husband had . They were her Crowne ; as o o Prov. 17. 6. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Clem. paedag . l. 2. c. 8. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 ; Sophocl . Antigon . Salomon also termeth them ; Shee his . Well might Shee be termed her Husbands Crowne , who for his sake and her Childrens good , p p 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Plut. in Grach . refused a Crowne offered her after his decease . And well may the Husband of such a Wife esteeme her as his choisest Iewel , who by the testimony of Gods Spirit doth as much grace him that hath her , as a Crowne doth him that weareth it .

And thus you see some few Branches , and rude Conclusion . Lineaments of that goodnesse and beneficialnesse of this diuine Ordinance , which the Spirit of God by the Pen of Salomon here pointeth vs vnto . A good Wife being , as you haue heard , The best Companion in Wealth ; The fittest and readiest Assistant in Worke ; The greatest Comfort in Crosses and griefes ; The only warrantable and comfortable Meanes of Issue and posteritie ; A singular and soueraigne Remedie ordained by God against Incontinencie ; And the greatest Grace and Honour , that can be , to him that hath her . In regard whereof euen q q 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Theogn . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . - Hesiod . apud Clem. Alex. Strom. l. 6. Greg. Naz. epitaph . Patr. & Stob. c. 65. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Apollonid . apud Clement . paedag . l. 3. c. 11. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . - Euripid . Oedip. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . - Homer . Odyss. 〈◊〉 . Hierocl . de nupt. & Plut. erotic . & Clem. Alex. Strom. l. 3. Vse 1. the very Heathen themselues also , though led by the ba●e Light of Nature alone , yet haue admired the excellencie of this diuine Ordinance , and haue worthily preferred it before all other externall and temporal Blessings whatsoeuer .

Now the due Consideration hereof may well serue ;

First to controll those of the Church of Rome , who labour so by all meanes to vilifie , depresse and debase this Diuine Ordinance , as if they stroue who should cast most mucke , and durt , and dung , and filth in the face of it . Nothing is more odious and contumelious among them than the Name of a Wife , or a Wiued Person in some . The Name of a Concubine ( as wee shall shew ) is more acceptable with them , and more gratious in their Eyes .

k k Hebr. 13. 4. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Mariage is Honourable ( saith the Spirit of God by the Apostle ) and that among all Men. Yea l l 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Chrysost. in Tit. hom. 2. so Honorable ( saith Chrysostome ) that a man may with it ascend to the Episcopall Chaire ; the highest Honour in the Church . m m 1 Tim. 3. 2. Tit. 1. 6. Let a Bishop ( saith the Apostle ) be the Husband of one Wife . Which hee may well be , and yet n n 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . 1 Tim. 3. 2. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Tit. 1. 6. Vnblameable ; as is there also implied . And , o o 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Heb. 13. 4. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , in Synodo Nicena . Paphnutius asseruit . Sozom. hist. l. 1. c. 23. Socrat. hist. l. 1. c. 8. & Gelas. Cyz . act. Syn. Nic. c. 33. Honorabiles professus est nuptias , & Cas●tatem cum propria coniuge concubitum . Cassi●d . h●st . Tri●●rt . l. 2. c. 14. & Grat. d●●t . 31. c. 12. C●… bene utitur Castitas coniuga●is . August . de Tri●● . l. 13. c. 18. 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Clem. Alex. Paedag lib. 2. c. 10. Pud ci●ia est vnius scientia viri . Donat. in Ter. Sanct●…mum 〈…〉 que ●…um coniugium , Eras●…de Conscr . epist. The Mariage Bed ( saith the same Apostle ) is of it selfe free from filth . p p I●… & inde surgen●es . 〈◊〉 peccat . inde n●n tr●…es . Prim●s & 〈◊〉 in Hebr. Hinc Thea●o Pythagorae vxor interragata , e●q●ando 〈…〉 , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 . lib. 8. It is so ; and they are so , that rise from it , saith Primasius : it is no Sinne or Blame ; and consequently no blemish or staine to them . q q 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Chrysost. 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 . 12. What need they be ashamed ( saith Chrysostome ) of that that is honourable ? What need they blush for that that defileth them not ? As for r r H●br. 13 4. Whore-mongers and Adulterers ; God indeed will s s 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 , vel his ●…is temporalibus , vel in futuro 〈◊〉 . Piscat . in Hebr. iudge , and t t Ephes. 5. 5 , 6. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Chrysost. in Hebr. hom. 33. be auenged on such .

But saith the Spirit of Satan speaking by these Men or Beasts rather ; u u 〈…〉 : Nec quisqua● omni●ò ad S●… in perpetuum vitam coelibem profiteatur . Gregor. 7. Pp. Lambert . S●… . ●n. 1079. Ide●que populo denunciat , ut Sacerdotes coniugat●s velut s●eleratos atque impi●s devi●… : 〈…〉 , coll●quia , sermones , convivia , haud aliter quam contagionem fugiant . Qu●s & Nicolaitas appellat , 〈◊〉 condemnat , devovet , Curiasacerdotum movet , &c. Ioan. 〈◊〉 . l. 5. Si p●st ord●●ationem suam Ministr●s contigerit propriae uxoris cubile invadere , sacrar . j●on intreat limi●a , neque sacrar● portitores s●…t , neque altare contingant , neque oblationem suscipiant , neque ad Domini●i corporis portionem accedant , neque propinent , neque urceum vel cal●cem ad altare sugg●…t . Lucius Pp. Dist. 81. c. 19. Mariage is dishonourable : disabling men to holy Offices . For , x x Qui in carne sunt , D●● placere nonpossunt . Syric . Pp. ep. 1. c. 7. & Innocent . Pp. ep. 3. c. 1. Those that be in the Flesh ( so mis-apply they the y y Rom. 8. 8. Apostles words ) cannot please God . And , z z Co●…gium legitimum & copulam maritalem , co●…●…quinationem , contaminationem , immunditiam , 〈◊〉 , &c. 〈…〉 1. c. 7. & ep. 4. c. 9. & apud Grat. Dist. 82. c. 3 4. I●… . Pp. ep. 2. 〈◊〉 . 9. & ●p. 3. c. 〈◊〉 . & 〈◊〉 Gr●t 〈…〉 3. The Mariage Bed is filth , luxurie , vncleannesse , pollution , obscenenesse , &c. ( Albeit Ignatius saith , that they haue a a 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Ignat. ep. ad Philadelph . the Deuill in them that so say . ) And , b b Coniugia quorundam esse Adulteria , ex Pseudo-Ambr . ad Virg. l●ps . Adulterijs peiora , ex Pseudo-Aug . de Bon. vid. cap. 11. asserunt Hosius Consess . Petric . cap. 26. & Harding contr. Apolog. p. 2. c. 8. Et Coster . Enchir. tr . de Caelib . c. 17. prop. 9. Sacerdos si fornicetur , aut domi concubinam ●●veat , & si gravi sacrilegio se obstringat , gravius tamen pecca● , si contrahat matrimonium . It is better for some men to commit Whoredome , than to contract Mariage . For it is not c c Minus malam . Harding ib. p. 4. c. 1. a lesse Sinne only ( as some mince it ) but d d Dicunt , honestius esse pluribus occuliè implicari , quam aperiè cum unâ ●●gari . Huldric . ep. ad Nicol. Pp. an honester matter for them , to be naught with many secretly , yea f f Melius esse , si votarius continere non valens , centum habeat concubinas , ex ordine tamen & successiuè , quam si vnam uxorem ducat : Scriptor quidam Coloniensis teste Chemnit . exam. p. 3. tit. 2. c. 8. to keepe ( as it were ) an Hundred Whores one after another , than to take openly one lawfull Wife . g g Gra●issima scortatoribus , quibus pro vna uxore sexcentas mulieres inire licet . Aventin . Anal. l. 5. A point ( to vse Auentines words ) well pleasing Whoremaster Priests , who in stead of one Wife , might haue dealing with six hundred Harlots .

Againe , d d 1 Cor. 7. 9. It is better , saith the Apostle , to marrie , than to burne . And , e e Ibid. Eis qui se non continent , expedit nubere . Aug. ad Poll. l. 1. c. 15. Let those therefore marrie , ( that haue not f f Ibid. 7. the gift of Continencie , ) that cannot contain . g g Aut nubant , si non possunt continere ; aut contineant , si nolunt nubere . Hieron . ad Demetr . Let them containe , saith Hierome of Virgins , if they will not marrie ; or let them marrie , if they cannot containe . For that is h h Melius enim nuberent , quam vrerentur . Aug. de Virgin . c. 34. the better course for them , saith Augustine , and long before him Cyprian , i i Si perseuerare aut nolunt , aut non possunt , melius est ut nubant , quam in ignem delitijs suis cadant . Cyprian . l. 1. ep. 11. if either they cannot or will not continue as they are . Yea not of Virgins barely , but of Votaries Epiphanius , k k 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Epiphan. Haeres . 61. Better it is for one of them to take openly a lawfull Wife , than to be wounded daily ( l l i. Quam occulta flamma concupiscentiae in ipsa conscientia vastarentur . Aug. de Virgin . c. 34. inwardly ) with vnseene shafts .

Nay , say these Men , m m Vtrumque malum est , & nubere & vri . imò peius est nubere . Bellarm. de monach . c. 30. Both are bad , but the latter is the better : ( as if they stroue directly herein t●…oppose the Apostle ) n n Quae nubit post votum , aliquo modo magis peccat , quam quae fornicatur : quia reddit se impotentem adseruandum votum , quod quae fornicatur non facit . B●ll ibid. It is better for some to burne , than to marrie , yea to doe that that is farre worse . For by Mariage their Votaries , Monkes , Friers and Nunnes , are disabled , saith Bellarmine , to the keeping of their Vow , which by Fornication , yea or a worse matter they are not . And , o o Bigamia metaphorica , vti Hier. Llamas appellat ; similitudinaria , vt Tole●us , irregularitatem induci . Llam . sum . part. 1. c. 12. §. 3. & Tolet. instruct . sac . l. 1. c. 67. §. 7. by contracting Mariage , their Priests , they say , become Irregular : Whereas , as p p Plures concubinas habens non incurr●t irregularitatem bigam●ae . Innocent . Pp. decret. l. 1. 22. c. 6. by Whoredome , and Adulterie , yea or q q Excepto homicidio v●luntario , nullum occultum crimen , etiam omnium grauissimum , irreg●…m inducit , nec S●d●●ia ipsa vel Bestialitas . Llamas sum . part. 1. c. 12. §. 32. & Co●arr . in Clem. part . 1. §. 60. Sodomie and r r De qua Levit. 18. 23 , 22. & 20. 15 , 13. Bestialitie , though neuer so oft committed , if the fact be not notorious , they doe not . So that , s s Rhemists on 1 Cor. 7. 9. Mariage in such , as our Rhemists say , is the very worst kinde of Incontinencie : worse belike indeed with them then either of those are . t t Novum prorsus conversionis genus . Licita non faciunt ; illicita commi●●unt . Quid agis ●●ult● persuasio ? Salv. de prouid . lib. 5. A foolish perswasion , ( to vse Saluians words ; yea a sottish superstition : ) to forbeare , ( nay , to condemne ) that that is lawfull , and commit that that is vnlawfull : to abstaine from the mariage Remedie , and to runne out into all impuritie ; as Bernard complaineth that u u Multi enim , non tamen omnes ; sed tamen multi , cer●… est ; nec latere queunt prae multitudine , nec prae impudentia querunt ; &c. abstinentes remedio 〈…〉 , in omne deinde s●●gitium effluentes . Bern. de convers . ad Cler. c. 29. so many of them in his time did , that neither for multitude they could be concealed , nor for shamelesnesse did they seeke to be vnseene . x x Peccata interdixit Deus , non matrimonia . Salvian . de prouid . l. 5. It is not Mariage , saith he , but Adultery that God condemneth . And , y y Quid simile vxor & Scortum● Hieron . ad Ocean . what comparison is there betweene a Wife and an Whore or an Harlot ? saith Ierome .

But thus they striue a a Quod de bostibus suis Dauid , Psalm . 62 4. Contraillud , Act. 10. 15. to dishonour that that God hath ●●onoured , to disgrace that that he hath graced ; b b Hinc in Concil. Bru. Episcopi de Gregor. 7. Pp. Suauis homo int●r coniuges diuortia fac●l : Sacerdo●●s qui vxores habeant legi●imas Sacrisices esse pernegat . Interim tamen Scortatores , Adulieros , Incestu●sos aris admovet . Avent . annal. l. 5. Et in Concil. Wormat . Maritos ab Vxoribus separat : scorta pudicis con●ugibus ; stupra , incestus , adulteria casto praefrrt connebio . Ibid. preferring that before it ( it is no new , butan old complaint ) that c c Levit. 18. 24 , 26 , 30. God most of all detesteth and abhorreth . In so much that the Glossers on their Canon Law confesse , ( a d d Nota mirabile . strange matter , say they , and it is more than once in them : ) that e e Quod plus ●uris habet Luxuria ▪ quam Castitas . Gloss. ad Grat. dist. 34. can . 7. Et ad D●cretal . l. 1. t. 22. c. 6. Luxurie hath more fauour than Chastitie in their Law .

And so indeed hath it ; For , f f Cum secundas nuptias expertus nen sucrit castitatem tamen cum priorinon servaverit coniugio , vt ad Diaconatus ordin●m possit provehi , ●oncessimus . Pelag. Pp. Gratian. dist. 34 c. 7. He is admitted into the Ministerie , that hath had a Wife and an Harlot , when he that hath had two lawfull Wiues successiuely , is excluded . Where , g g Castus repelleretur , si convixisset cum s●cunda ; ●id foraicator non . Gloss. ibid. he that hath liued chastly ( saith the Glosse ) with a second Wife is refused , when a Fornicator is not . And , h h Cum plures habentes concubinas irregularitatem bigamia non incurrerint , cum eis tanquam si● plici fornicatione notatis , quoad executionem saccrd●tal●● officij poterit dispensari . Innocent. 3. decret. Greg. l. 1. t. 22. c. 6. He may be dispensed with for continuance in his office , that hath kept many Quean●s , when he that hath maried a second wife may not . Againe , i i Videantur Greg. Syric . & Innocent . supr. A maried Priest may by no meanes be endured . For , k k Constitutus in sacris contrabens matrimonium ipso facto perdit beneficia . Abbas de Cler. Coniug. c. 1. num. 7. if any Priest either openly or priuately contract Mariage , he is ipso facto depriued ; and therefore l l Quicunque aut clam aut palam marrimonium contraxerunt , ab Ecclesia & Ecclesiastico benesicio sunt omninò removendi . Othon . constitut . de vxor . à ben . remov . c. 1. Omnibus modis submovendi sunt . Innocent . Pp. ep. 3. c. 1. must by all meanes be remoued . But , m m Episcopi●s non tenctur deponere Clericum Concubinarium . Abbas de cohab . cler. & mul. c. 6. num. 3. An Whoremaster Priest the Bishop is not bound to depese . And though some n n Secundum Canones Apostolorum debet deponi . Grat. dist. 81. c. 12 , 13. & d. 82. c. 5. Et Concil. Aurel. 5. ibid. d. 81. c. 10. Et Nicol. Pp. ibid. d. 50. c. 33. Old moth-eaten Canons will that such be deposed : yet those are now worne out of date ; and o o Di●unt hodiè pro fornicatione nei●●nem deponendum , nisi in 〈◊〉 perdu● et : 〈◊〉 qui● b●die frag 〈◊〉 su 〈◊〉 co●por● nost●a q●… m●…m era●t Gl●●● ad Grat. d●st 82 c. 5. They say now adaies , ( saith the Glosse , and they father it vpon p p Iuxta ●utoritatem B. Sylvestri . Grat. dist. 82. c. 5. Blessed Saint Syluester , though q q Hoc 〈◊〉 haben ▪ in c●rpore C●nonum B. Syle estri . Glass . ibid. among his Canons it be not found ) that no man is to be deposed for Fornication , vnlesse hee continue still in it ; because mens bodies are more fraile now than formerly they haue beene . And , * * Communiter dicitur , qu●d pro simpl ci for●…atione quis deponi non debet : cum pa●…i sine illo vitio inveniantur . Gloss. ad Grat. d●st 81. c. 6. It is commonly held , saith another Glosse , that for simple Fornication one ought ●…t to be deposed : since that few are found free from that vice . Indeed , r r Si concubinas publi . èdetincnt . Othon . constit . de Cl●r . Com●…bin . remov . if they keepe Harlots openly , ( for here the Rule holdeth that the Glosse giueth , that s s Si non cas●e 〈◊〉 caute . Gloss. ibid. if they liue not chastly , yet they must doe that they doe closely ) or t t Captus & convictus . Extra de Iudic. G●…ss . ad Grat. d. 81. c. 12. he be caught in the manner , and euidently conuict of it , ( but e e Sed qualiter Lai●i pr. babu●…●…ud esse , cum non possint testari contra C●●ricum . Gl●ss . ibid. how can that be , saith another Glosse ; when no Lay-mans witnesse may be receiued , f f Non ●r●●ctur Laicis de 〈◊〉 : quia La●●i ●…pidò nobis infesti sunt . Iiud . nor may they bee beleeued deposing ought against a Priest , since they be their profest enemies ; vnlesse they will themselues g g Per S●mentiam , vel consessionem propriam , &c. Ibid. confesse it ? ) h h Eas intra mensem à se removea●t p●nitus , aut ab officia & benefici● vsque ad condignam satisfactionem suspendantur . Othon . constit . de Cler. concub . then vnlesse within a months space ( for some time of respite they must haue ) they put their Queanes away from them , suspended they may be from office and benefice , vntill they haue done due penance . And yet is that accounted i i Rig●rosa esset ●●c 〈◊〉 , nisi ess●● pre ad●lterio v●l incestu , etia● : si Ep●… esset 〈◊〉 ●●bens . Gloss. ibid. too rigorous a course too , saith another Glosser , vnlesse it were for incest , or adulterie at least , albeit the delinquent were ( not a bare Priest , but ) a Bishop . Againe , k k 〈◊〉 v●orem , abjurare tene●ur : non qui co●cubi●am 〈◊〉 . Abbas de Cier . coniug. . & Gloss. ad Othen . constit . The Maried Priest must be l l Quod●… quam in co●jugium sibi copulavit , abjarare fecis●i Subdiaconum : pr●… tiam ●…in commendamus . V●ban . Pp. C●●●m . Ep. Decretal . l. 4. l. 6. c. 2. compelled to abiure his Wife ; but m m Clericos qui publicè tenent Concubinas , ad eas abjurandas nolumus compell● . Alexand. Pp. decretal . l. 3. tit. 2. c. 3. the Whore-master Priest may by no meanes constrained to abiure his Whore : yea n n Non debet abjurare . Gloss. ad Grat. caus. 35. q. 6. c. 9. hee ought not to abiure her . I might adde that those that haue beene principall enacters , eager vrgers , and seuere executers of these their Canons against maried Priests , haue yet made no bones of liuing otherwise indeed loosely and filthily themselues . Witnesse o o Ioannes Cremensis Apostolicae sedis Cardinalis vbi in solemni apud Londonias Concilio de vxoribus Sacerdotum serenissimè tractasset , dicens summum esse scelus de latere surgere meretricis ad corpus Christi conficiendum ; ipse cum die illa corpus Christi consecrasset , cum meretrice post vesperam interceptus est . Henric. Hunting . hist. l. 7. Koger . Hoveden annal. part . 1. Matth. Paris . in Henric. 1. & Matth. Westmonast . Florib . hist. lib. 2. an. 1125. Pope Honorius his Legate , who in a Synode here at London , hauing inueighed most bitterly against Priests Mariage , and made a solemne Decree against it , was the very next night taken himselfe with a Whore . As also Bishop Hulderick , who telleth Pope Nicholas in an Epistle of his to him , that p p Cum quidam Episcopi & Archidiaconi ita praecipites sint in libidinem , vt neque adulteria , neque incaes●us , neque masculorum turpissimos amplexus sciant abhorrere , tamen casta Clericorum conjugia dicunt sibi foelere , & ab eis jabent & cogunt clericos abstinere . Hulderic . epist. ad Nicol. Pp. their Bishops and Archdeacons that make Priests mariage so vnsauourie , and compell them to leaue their Wiues , are yet so leacherously giuen themselues , that they neither abhorre or forbeare adulterie , no , nor incest , nor Sodomie . But one Instance more of their Iniquitie in this kinde shall suffice . They haue a Canon , that q q Bigamum censendum , nec ordinandum esse , qui vxorem vnam ante baptismum , alteram post baptismum habuerit , statuit Innocent . Pp. apud Grat. dist. 26. c. 3. epist. 2. c. 6. & ep. 22. c. 2. & ep. 24. c. 6. if a man shall haue had two Wiues successiuely , the one before Baptisme , the other after he was baptised , he shall by the Apostles Rule , ( as they r r Ne bina pariter aut trina conjugia sartiantur : sed vt singulas vno tempore vxores habeant . Hieron . ad Ocean . Neque enim secundum reiecit Matrimonium , qui illud saepe iussit fieri . Theodoret. in 1 Tim. 3. mis-expound it ; ) s s 1 Tu● . 3. 2. Tit. 1. 6. The Husband of one Wife , be made vncapable of holy Orders : Which yet t t Posse fieri aiunt , si concubinam , non vxorem habuisset . Hieron . ad Ocean . hee should not haue beene , had hee before Baptisme in stead of taking that one Wife liued neuer so loosely otherwise . And the Reason they giue for it is , u u Quod peccatum non fuit , non est di●… in bap. ibid. Et Inno ▪ ent . vbi sup. because the one being Sinne , was in Baptisme done away , the other being no Sinne , was not . This when it was questioned in Ieromes time , what saith he ( though one otherwise x x Durior in Matrimomū , & Nupt●js iniquior . Erasm , prafat . in lib. contr. Iov● . not so equall to the Maried estate ) to it ? y y Rem nouam audio . Quia peccatum non fuit in peccatum reputabitur . Hieron . ad Oce●n . This is new learning , saith he , that something shall be reckoned therefore for sinne , because it is not sin . z z 〈◊〉 s●orta , & publica colluvionis sordes , imp●etas in Deum , parricidium , & incestus in parentes , atque in extraordinarias voluptates vtriusque sexus m●●ata natura , Christi sonte purgantur ? Vxoris ●nbaerebunt maculae ? Et lupanaria thalamis praefer●●tur ? Ibid. Are all Whoredomes , defilements with common Queanes , impieties , paricides , incests euen with parents , the vnnaturall pollutions of either sex by extraordinarie lusts , washed off in Baptisme ? And doe the staines of a lawfull Wife sticke on still ? And are the Stewes then preferred before the Bride-chamber ? That a a Praet●reunt quod non licet ; & objiciunt quod concessum est . Ibid. they passe by that that is not lawfull , and obiect that that is . Or b b Tam ma●ulosum nomen vxoris non potest vlla nouitate deleri . Ibid. is the Name of a Wife so foule a matter , that nothing can wipe it away ? Belike c c Audiant Ethnici , &c. audiant Catechumeni , qui sunt fidei candidati : Ne vxores ducant ante baptisma , ne honesta jungant Matrimonia : sed promis●uas vx●res hab●ant , in ▪ ò caeveant qual●cumque vocabulum Coniugis ; ne postquam in Christo crediderint , noceat eis , quod aliquandò non con●●binas , nec meretrices , sed vxores habuerint . Ibid. Men had need to take heed how they take wiues before Baptisme , and contract honest Mariage ; Yea they were better to liue as those that haue Wiues in common ; or rather by all meanes auoid any Name of a wife whatsoeuer ; lest that after they come to beleeue in Christ , it become preiudiciall vnto them that they had not Queanes , or Harlots before-time , but Wiues . d d Vere Scribarum & Pharisaeorum similes : culicem liquantes , & camelum glutientes . Ibid. These are like the Scribes and Pharisies indeed , straining a Gnat , and swallowing a Camel . e e Imputatur infoelicitas coniugis mortuae : & libido meretricia coronatur . Ibid. They punish Martage ; and ( not pardon onely , but euen ) crowne Whoredome . f f Iu●scriptum est , Honorab●les Nuptiae , & cubile i●…aculatum . Tibi Iegitur , F●rnicatores autem & Adult●ros iudicabit Deus . Ibid. Whereas of the one it is said , Mariage is Honourable , and the Mariage-bed is vndefiled ; of the other , Whore-mongers and Adulterers God will iudge . g g Quomodò tuae sordes lu●ae sunt , & meae munditiae sordidatae ? Si sordes ●mundantur , quanto magis munditiae non co●quinantur ? Ibid. Sure , if that that is filthie be cleansed in Baptisme , that that is cleane is not thereby defiled . And if for this one Particular Ierome charge them so deepely : how much more , all considered that before hath beene said , may they bee truly charged ( as their owne Glossers being Canonists also themselues confesse of them ) to shew more grace and sauour to Incontinencie , than to Chastitie , and to set lawfull Wiues behind Concubines and Queanes ? So that if it were , as these men seeme to say , nay as they peremptorily auow , it were not onely no great good , ( as being no furtherance , but a maine h h Sunt opera bona , quae tamen maiora bona impediunt vt ducere vxorem . Bellarm. de Menach . c. 15. hinderance to greater good things ; ) but a grieuous and a foule euill , that Gods Spirit by Salomon here so highly commendeth .

But herein indeed they are not alone ; they tread in the steps of diuers old i i 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Nuptias damnant , & aversantur ; paresque eas omn● . ò formcalionibus al●jsque corruptionibus faciunt ; Saturniani , G●os●ici , Adamiani , Tatiant , Encrat●…ae &c. Ir●n . adv. Valent. l. 1. c. 31. Cl●m . Alex. 〈◊〉 . l. 3. Epiphan. haer●s . 23. & 46. & 47. Aug. de haeres c. 25. & 31. Conc●bitum spu●ci●iae nomine , vt in . pudi●…ae negotium damnant Marcionitae . Tertull ad . Marc. l. 1. Stupri assine est Matrimonium : Nupt●aeque exeo constant , quod est stuprum Tert. ipse Montanizans exhort . cast . Coniunctio maritalis malum est apud Deum : Et quantum ad natura reiipsius peccatum est . Autor oper. imperf. in Mat hom. 1. Non concubitum , sed nuptias probibent Manichaei . Aug. de mor. Man . l. 2. c. 13. Heretikes , long since condemned , who then spake of it , as they now doe . And it is no maruell therefore if God iustly punish them for this their contempt of , and contumely offered to that his holy Ordinance , by giuing them vp , as did the k k Rom. 1. 24. 28. Heathen sometime for their vnthankfulnesse , and those ancient l l 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Epiphan. de Origenianis haer. 63. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Idem de Gnosticis haer. 26. Qui & 〈◊〉 , a & 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Haeretic● antedictis p●ssim commen . orat . Herctikes , whom therein they concurre with , to the committing of such filthinesse Vse 2. and beastlinesse , as is m m Ephes. 5. 3 , 4. scarce once to be named , that which euen their owne n n P●rro paucissimis Veneri bellum indicentib●s , quibusdam castitatem iactantiae quaestus ergô simulantib● , maxima pars sub honesto castimoniae nomine stupra , incesius , adulteria passim & impune com●ittunt . Ioan. Avent . Annal. l. 5. Sacerdotes moderni per luxuriam sunt Daemones Incu●i , ( quod & Chaucer noster , No other Incub●… there was than he : ) & sacerdotes Priapi . Rob. Holcet in Sap. Lect. 182. Episcopi & Sa●erdotes huius temporis , in repr●bum sensum traditi , faciunt quae ●en conveniunt . Quae enim in occul●o siunt ab Episcopis turpe est dicere . Sed non verecundab●r dicere , quae ipsi non ver●cundantur facere : Masculi in masculo● turpitud●… operantes . Sermoin ●…il . Rem●ns . Falsa specie continentiae a● hominibus place●e volunt , gravi●ra committunt , patrum vxores subagitant , masculorum ac pe●udum amplexus non abhorr●… . Huldric . ep. ad Nicel . Pp. Ab Episiopis & Sacerdotibus nostris etiam in sacras aedes sit irruptio ; ab illis etiam abiguntur faeminae ad ●urum libidin●s oxplendas : sed & pueri meritorijà parentibus commodantur & condo●… , qui & postea ad Sace●…otierum gradus promoventur ae●…is flore transacio iam exoleti . Ioan. Pi●●ss ep. ad Leon. Pp. & Concil. Lateran . Petrid●mus polluta fluenti Marcescit luxu●n●lla hic ar●ana revelo ; Nenign●ta loq●or ; liceat vulgata referre : Sanctus ager scurris , venerabilis ara Ci●…dis Seivit , hon●randae Vivum Ganymedibus aed●s . Man●… . de Mandi calamit . Authors themselues , not a few , confesse of them .

Secondly , Is a Wife such a Benefit , where shee is such as shee should be ? This may serue to put vs in minde of the great corruption of Mans Nature , what a miserable deprauation Sinne hath brought vpon Mankinde , euen to the inuerting and corrupting of the greatest Blessings of God both on vs and in vs .

For a a 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 ; Anuphan . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Epicharm . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . M●nand . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Idem St●b . c. 66. what greater curse , or heauier crosse befalleth a Man oft than a Wife ? Or what one thing produceth more mischiefes and miseries than Marriage doth , where the parties are mismatched ? Many a one * * Sylla Foelix si non habuisset vxorem . Et Comi●us fortunatum putat , qui nunquam vxorem duxerit . Hteron . in Iovin . l. 1. Mitio●s Terentiani vox est . Anonymus quid●… Graecus , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . neuer knew what miserie meant , till he came to know what a Wife was .

And whence commeth all this but from Mans corrupt Heart , that b b Apes ex herbis etiam acrioribus mel dulcissimum exprimit . At quae apes in liquorem meilisluum transfundit , aranea in venenum transmutat . Spinae . de provid . Pravo nihil prodest : quia quicquid ad illum pervenit , pravo vsu corrumpitur . Sic stomachus morbo vitiatus , quos●unque accepit cibos mutat , atque omne alimentum in causam doloris trahit . Sen. de benef. l. 5. c. 12. like a Toad or Viper , turneth all that it taketh , and the juice of all that it feedeth on , though neuer so good and wholesome of it selfe , into rancke poison ? This their corrupt nature therefore must married folkes seeke to quell and to kill , if they desire to finde that fruit in , and reape that benefit by this Ordinance , that Salomon here speaketh of , and to enioy that sound comfort either in other , that Christian Man and Wife ought to doe . And this their Corruption must they ascribe it vnto , if they meete with the contrarie , and finde ought otherwise therein . c c In moribus culpa est , non in aetate ; in senum stultitia , non in vitio sen●ctutis . Cic. de Senect . Vse 3. It is not old Age , saith he , but the solly of old Men that maketh Old Age so burdensom as it is vnto many : Nor is it Mariage it selfe , but d d 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Hierocl . de nupt. Vitium est hominum , non culpa nuptiarum . Aug. de hon. coniug. c. 6. Gratian. c. 32. q. 2. the folly of Maried Persons , that maketh the maried estate so combersome to many : it is not the hauing of a Wife , but either thy Fault or hers that maketh her so burdensome vnto thee .

Thirdly , Is a Wife such a Benefit , where shee is a Wife indeed ? No maruell then if we finde e e 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Eurip. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . so much euill , where it is otherwise . f f Optimi corruptio pessima . The best things become worst , when they are once corrupted . The strongest Wine maketh the sharpest Vineger . No Creature more louely than Man , while he liueth : and none againe more gastly to looke on when life is once gone . Yea g g 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aristot. polit. l. 1. c. 2. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Ibid. Legatur Autor oper. imperf. apud Chrysost. bomil . 24. ad illud Christi Matth. 10. 17. C●vete ab ●ominibas . no Crature more cruell or sauage than Man , when he degenerateth from his kinde : no Beast more beastly than Man , when he turneth h h Vnde 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Aristol . Ethic. l. 〈◊〉 c. 1 , 5. Beast . No maruell therefore if a Wife , i i 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Hesiod . & Simonid . Clem. Alex. as shee is one of the greatest goods while she so continueth , proueth on the other side one of the grteuousest euils , when she ceaseth to be such .

Againe , all euills , as the k k Elementum in locosu● non ponderat . Simpl c. & Coelo l. 4. §. 46. Elements , are most combersome and burdensome , when they are out of their proper place ; as Impietie in Professors , Iniustice in Iudges , because l l Criminosior est culpa , vbi honestior est status ; & atrocius sub sancti nominis professione peccatur . Salvian . de Provid . l. 4. Impietie is in the proper place of Pietie in the one , m m Eccles. 3. 16. Vbi , qui sedet crimina vindicaturus , admittit . Cyprian . ad Donat. Iniquitie in the proper seat of Iustice in the other . In like manner from a Wife is matter of discomfort more grieuous , because discomfort there is in the proper place of comfort , a great euill in the natiue seat and soile of a great good . And what greater Iudgement can befall any Man , than to haue those very things turned to his euill , that were at first ordained for his good ; those things especially conuerted , or peruerted rather to his greatest euill , that were created for his chiefest good ? To haue n n Psal. 69. 22. his Table made his snare , o o Buccella dominica fuit Iudae venenum . Aug. in Ioan. 26. his bread his bane , p p Psal. 73. 18. & . 102. 10. his raising his ruine , q q Prov. 1. 32. his delights his destruction ; r r Ezra . 6. 11. the wood of his owne house a gibbet to hang him on ; his wife , that should be s s Prov. 5. 19. Ezech. 24. 16. Vse 4. the light of his Eyes , and the ioy of his heart , to be such a continuall Eie-sore , such a perpetuall Heart-sore vnto him , as t t 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Lycurg . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Homer . Odyss. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Eurip. Orest. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Antiphan . neither he is able well to endure , nor by any meanes may be rid of .

Fourthly , Is a Wife such a Benefit , as is here implied . Then those that haue beene carefull in making their choice , and haue in good likelihood compassed u 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . A●t tollendum , aut ferendum vilium coniugis . Varro . Gell. 1. 17. such an one as is here intimated , they may with comfort , cheerefulnesse and confidence enter vpon this estate , x x 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Hipponax . with good hope and assurance of finding much good in it , of reaping and receiuing much benefit thereby .

It is the conceit of many that when Persons enter vpon Mariage , they doe but plunge themselues into y y 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Philippid . Tò 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . Itaque Thales interrogatus cur non duceret , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Laert. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Anaxandrid . Qui non litigat , coel●ls est . Var. Gemin . Hieron . in Iov . l. 1. Semper habet lites , alternaque iurgia lectus , In quo sponsa iacet : minimum dormitur in illa . Iuven. sat. 6. Lite sugant nuptaeque viros , nuptasque mariti . Et , dos est vxorialites . Ovid. art. l. 2. a world of cares , * * 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Theophyl . epist. 51. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aesehyl . Supp . an Ocean of troubles , an inextricable Labyrinth of inconueniences and annoiances . As if that estate like z z Genes. 3. 18. Hebr. 6. 8. a cursed soile , yeelded nothing , though neuer so well manured and managed , but thornes and thistles , but briers and brambles , but hemlocke and henbane , and the like noisome weeds . As if all the good and ioy of a mans life were gone , when he had once gotten this good ; all the comfort of it were ouer , when this Comforter once came ; and a a 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Simo●…d . a man were neuer like to liue merrie day , yea or merrie houre after : And that b b 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . M●…nd . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Philippid . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Philet . if a man would liue merrily and comfortably therefore , he should neuer marrie .

To omit what might here be said , that * * 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aphthon . Progy●… . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Nulla alauda sine crista . Simonid . apud Plut. in ●imol . & de vb●l . ex inimic . no course † 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Isidor . Pelus . l. 2. ep. 136. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . Clem. Strom. l. 2. of Life is free from Crosses : and that “ “ 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Aphthan . ibid. ●…torem non jugat à f●ro d●…tor : Bost ●…fragium ma●●a te●…ur ; post mal●m ●liam segetem ser. tur . C●…o ●…rti o●i● vita ●…pebit , si ●…nqu , 〈◊〉 aut ●m ●… est , quicq●…●…dit . Se●… . ep 81. men doe not yet therefore either shunne or abandon other courses of Life in regard of those Crosses that either are incident vnto them , or that occurre in them .

It is true indeed that Mariage bringeth many more Cares , as more Charge , with it , then the single life is ordinarily encombred withall . But yet are † those Cares counter●ailed with many singular Comforts that the single life is berest of : and c c 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 . is 〈◊〉 . Co●… qua 〈◊〉〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 . such as may well weigh downe whatsoeuer of that kind may rise vp in opposition to cause discouragement in any that are to enter thereupon , d d 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Euripid. Orest. if they bee fitted either for other , that they may liue as Man and Wise should together . e e 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 . de ●upt . From the want whereof the annoiances , inconueniences , mischiefes and miseries against this estate obiected doe for the most part arise ; either because the parties matched sort not well together , or want wisdome and discretion to carrie themselues as they ought , either toward other .

Not to adde , that in regard of some such cares and encombrances as necessarily accompany that estate , to abhorre and abandon Mariage , being otherwise so beneficiall , and so excellent an ordinance of God , is as Clemens well obserueth , a note but of a a 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Clem. Alex. Strom. l. 2. a nice and effoeminate Disposition , b b 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Clem. Ibid. Vse 5. well beseeming those Philosophers that referred all to ease and pleasure , and placed their whole felicitie and happinesse therein ; who therefore aduised also their followers to forbeare c c Hinc illud , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Magistracie and Mariage ; but as misliked by d d Contra Plato , Aristoteles , Peripatetici , Stoici . others of them that were of a more generous disposition , so vnbeseeming Christian men that are , or should be of a farre other Spirit ; and e e 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Clem. idem . ibid. l. 3. Vse 6. sauouring too much both of disreputation of that diuine Ordinance , and of vnthankfulnesse to the Author of it .

Fiftly , let the maried Wife learne hence what to apply her selfe vnto , that she may be a Wife indeed . The more f f Prov. 31. 12. good shee doth her Husband , the more Comfort he receiueth from her , the more Benefit he reapeth by her ; the more shee doth the office of a Wife , the more shee answereth the Name shee beareth .

And on the other side g g 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Nicostrat . Stob. c. 72. shee ceaseth to be a Wife , yea to be a Woman , when shee ceaseth to be a meanes of good to Man : Since that the Woman was not made but h h 1 Cor. 11. 9. for Man , and i i Genes. 2. 18. for his good ; and therefore shee answereth not her originall , if she be not so . And in vaine will it be for her to beare the * * Quid enim proderit appellari quod non es ? Quid nomen prodest , vbires non est ? Aug. in 1 Ioan. tr. 5. Name of that shee is not .

Lastly , hence may the Maried Man also learne his lesson . For how ought he to make much of her , that is a meane of so much good to him ? k k Prov. 31. 31. Giue her , saith Salomon , of the Fruit of her Hands : requite her in the same kinde againe . If l l Prov. 31. 12. shee doe thee good all thy daies ; then oughtest thou all thy daies by all meanes in all kinds to seeke her good , her temporal , her spirituall , her eternall good . For m m Ab alio officia pos●ens , promittit sua . Sen. de ben . l. 2. c. 18. In lusu est aliquid pilam scitè excipere ; sed non dicitur bonus lusor , nisi qui apt è & expeditè remisit quam exceperat . Ibid. c. 32. good requireth good ; and one good-turne , wee say , asketh another .

Otherwise if thou beest found failing herein , her goodnesse to thee shall one day witnesse against thee . And the better ●he is to thee now , the worse it shall goe with thee then . Better it were for thee to haue no Wife , or one as good as none , if thou be not an Husband to her , as well as shee is a Wife to thee ; if thou beest not an instrument of good vnto her , as well as shee is vnto thee . For looke n n Sunt partes mariti , sunt & vxoris-Invicem parem ista desiderant regulam . Sen. de ben . l. 2. c. 19. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Isidor . Pelus . lib. 3. ep. 12. Branch 3. Question . what is required on her part toward thee , is required the same on thy part toward her : which vnlesse thou answer her with , thou art no more an Husband to her , than shee , if shee should faile therein , were a Wife vnto thee .

But how may a man come by such a Wife , as is here spoken of ? may some say : such a one as shall be a meanes of so much good to him that hath her ?

Shee must be sought ; saith Salomon . For o o 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Sopho●l . finding Answer . implieth seeking . And p p Luk. 11. 10. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Sopho●l . Plut. de fortun . He that seeketh , findeth ; saith our Sauiour . We must not thinke , becouse Salomen elsewhere saith , that Houses and inheritance are of the Fathers , but a good Wise is of God ; that therefore no industrie is to be vsed on our part , but that men should lie still , or sit them downe , expecting that God should drop Wiues downe out of the clouds for them , as Townes were said to come into q q Quem aemuli ipsius dormientem pin●… 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Plut. Sylla . Vnde enatum Proverb . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Prout Liv. hist. l. 7. Nihil agenti sibi de coelo devolaturam in sinum victoriam censet . Et Ter. Adelp . 4. 5. Quid ? credebas dormienti tibi haec confecturos Deos. Doct. 3. Timotheus his toiles , while hee slept . No ; vnlesse we seeke , we are not like to finde . And if by seeking we may finde , if after much search made , wee may light on such an one , we are well .

Such a Wife then must be sought .

And so sent r r Genes. 24. Abraham his Seruant to seeke a Wife for his Sonne Isaak . So s s Ruth 3. 1 , 9. Reason 1. Naomi telleth Ruth her Daughter in Law , that shee will seeke out some fit match for her .

There is good Reason to seeke such an one in two Respects :

First in regard of the Rarity , the Difficulty . Because such are not easily found . * * Genes. 41 38. Where may we finde such a Man ? saith Pharao of Ioseph , implying that such an other as hee could very hardly bee found . And , t t Prov. 31. 10. Where may a Man finde such a Woman ? saith Salomon . As he saith elsewhere of a faithfull Friend ; u u Prov. 20. 6. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aristot. vt Laert. ex Favorin . comment . l. 2. Vbi tamen Casaubon . legit , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . In quam sententiam explicatius quidam ex Eudem . l. 7. c. 26. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Sed Ethic. Nicom . l. 9. c. 10. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Omnes ami●i & omnes i●imi●i : omnes necessarij , & omnes adversarij . Bern. in Cant. 33. Fidem plaerique verbis ostentant , opere destruunt : quod genus nulli rei est nisi ad loquendum . Symmach . epist. 31. lib. 1. Many men will boast , each one of his honestie ; but where shall a man finde a Friend truly Faithfull ; x x Nimium di●…cile est reperiri amicum ita vt nomen cluet , cui cum rem tuam credideris , sine omni curâ dormias . Plaut. Trinum . 3. 1. Homini amico , qui est amicus , ita uti nomen possidet , Nisi D●…s e●nihil praestare . -Idem Bacch . 3. 2. one that indeed deserueth that name ? So many Women may promise great matters of themselues , or others vndertake for them : But it is y y 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Diphil. no easie matter , for all that , to finde out a good Wife , one that answereth the Name shee beareth . * * Multi Sacerdotes , & pauci Sacerdotes : multi in nomine , pauci in opere . Chrysost. nomine Autor oper. imperf , hom. 43. Many Priests , and yet Few Priests too ; saith one of the Ancients : many in Name , but few in effect . So many Women , and few Wiues , may one well say ; few such , among many , as Salomon here entreateth of . z z Rara avis bona & suavis vxor . Theophr . Hieron . ad . Iovin . l. 2. Rara avis in terris nigroqu● simillima cygno . Iuven. sat. 6. vel corvo rarior albo . Ibid. 7. Good Wiues are rare Creatures , as well as a a 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Plut. de amic , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Theogn . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Idem . Reason 2. trustie Friends are . And though I dare not say of them , as Elihu of b b Iob 33. 23. Vnu● è millibus . Vbi perperam vulg. quem Greg. sequitur , Vnus è similibus . an able Pastor , Salomon of c c Eccles. 7. 30. a Wise Man , and some other of d d Arcanum tuum uns è millibus concredas , licet pacem cum mul●… colas . Ben Syr. & Sirac . 6. 6. Millibus è multis ●…us vix fidu . 〈◊〉 . Hic ●lbo cor●o rarior esse solet . Drus. in Prov. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Ammien . a true Friend ; One such of a thousand . Yet may I well and safely say , that as well here as else-where , e e Majo● p●rs vin it meliorem . Rari quippe boni . Iuv●n . sat. 13. Nec●… tam foe●…ter actum est , ut meliora pluribus placerent . S●u. de beat . c. 2. The greater Part exceedeth the better : there is f f ●…sdr . 8. 2. more drossie matter than pure mettall ; more pebles than pearles . As the Cynicke sometime g g 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . de Diogene Laert. C●… ille 〈◊〉 hominom inven●re cupiebat , lucernam meridie cir●…ens . Tertu● . adv. M●…dr . fab. 58. Aesop● , medi● Sole quid ●um lumine ? Hominem inquit , quaer● . sought for a Man in a multitude of Men : so may such a Wife as Salomon here speaketh of , be sought , yea and scarce found sometime , among a multitude of Women .

Secondly , In regard of the worth and dignitie . It is well worth a mans labour . Hee need not thinke much of his search , if he haue good successe in it . As the difficultie of finding requireth it ; so the dignitie of the thing sought requiteth it . h h ●…habere ●●gas : Et stultus labor est ineptiarum . Martial . l. 2. epig. 86. It is no wisdome indeed to seeke after toies and trifles , matters of no moment , that will not recompence a mans paines , when without much difficultie they cannot be had . But a worthy Woman is a matter of worth . She is well worthy the seeking . She is i i 〈◊〉 . 19. 14 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Nicostr . t. Stob. c. 72. a greater blessing than either House or Inheritance : and k k 〈◊〉 . 31. 10. her price is aboue Pearles . And if there be l l Psal. 4. 6. - itum est in viscera terrae : Effodi●ntur opes . Ovid. M●t●m . l. 1. Omnesque terrae fibras exquirimus . Plin. hist. l. 33 Quin & maris etiam gurgites omnes . Quest. Answ. Meanes 1. so much seeking generally on all hands after the one , much more may there iustly be as much after the other .

But how must shee be sought then ?

I answer : First m m 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , &c. Antipat. de convict . ●…marit . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Hesiod . oper. Meanes 2. by due and diligent consideration of , and carefull search and inquirie into the nature , qualitie , and disposition , and into the life , courses and conueisation , of the partie motioned or affected for Mariage : whether shee bee so qualified as a Wife ought to be , and as is fit for one to be that should be thy Wife . For n n 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Callicratid . Stob. c. 68. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Euripid. Antiop . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Ettacus apud Laert. ex Callimach . & Plut. Paedag. Tu tibi sume parem . Quam malè inaequales veniunt ad aratra juvenci ? Si qua voles ap●è nubere , nube pari . Ovid. Epist. 9. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Plut. nupt. praec . fitnesse in speciall , as well as goodnesse in generall , is one maine ground of the good and benefit that a Wife is to bring to him , whom shee is matched vnto .

Secondly , by vsing the helpe and taking the aduice of Friends . A course especially to be embraced and entertained of those that are themselues vnexperienced , or that are yet vnder the power of others . So did o o Genes. 28. 2 , 5. & 29. 18. Iacob herein follow his Father Isaacks aduice ; contrarie to p p Genes. 26. 34. & 27. 46. the practise of his Brother Esau And q q Ruth 3. Meanes 3. Ruth was content to be ruled by her Mother in Law Naomi , though hauing not the power ouer her of a naturall Parent .

Thirdly , by seeking vnto those that are the Parents or Gouernours of such as they affect or desire , being yet vnder the power of such . So did r r Genes. 24. 48 , 49. Abrahams Seruant deale with the Friends of Rebekka . And s s Gen. 34. 4 , 6 , 8. Sichem ( though t t Gen. 34. 2 , 7. he had beene before indeed too forward ) with the Brethren of Dinah , and with her Father Iacob , by his Father Hamor ; the very light of Nature leading and directing them thereunto .

Fourthly and principally by Prayer to Meanes 4. God . As did u u Gen. 24. 12 , 14. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Chrysost. tom. 8. serm. 15. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Ibid. Abrahams Seruant , when hee was sent to seeke a Wife for his young Master : And as x x Gen. 28. 2 , 3. Branch 4. Doct. 4. Isaak did when hee dismissed his Sonne Iacob with Instructions and charge what course to take concerning a Wife .

For ( and so passe we to the next Point ) God is the principall Doner here . He that will finde a Wife , saith Salomon , must obtaine her of God . And , p p Prov. 19. 14. House and inheritance are of the Fathers ; but q q 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Simonid . Stob. c. 71. Reason 1. a prudent Wife is of God . From God therefore it is that a Good Wife must be had . And no maruell .

For first , r r 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Pindar . Nullum bonum quod non à summ● bono . Aug. de divers . 3. Quisons est & origo bonorum omnium . Salvian . de provid . lib. 4. All good is of God . s s Iam. 1. 17. Reason 2. Euery good Gift , saith S. Iames , is from aboue . And if euery good Gift , then this also among the rest doubtlesse , if not aboue the rest , being so principall a good .

Secondly , t t Psal. 127. 4. Children , saith the Psalmist , and the fruit of the wombe is Gods Gift . And , u u Iosh. 24. 3 , 5. I gaue Abraham Isaak ; and Isaak Iacob and Esau , saith God by Ioshua . And , x x Genes. 33. 5. Reason 3. They be the Children that God hath giuen me ; saith Iacob to Esau. If Children be his gift , the Wife is much more . Neither can we haue them without her ; not her without Him .

Thirdly , Euery good Woman is Gods Daughter : as y y Luke 3. 38. Adam is said to be Gods Sonne : z z 2 Cor. 6. 18. You shall be my Sonnes , and my Daughters ; saith God . He hath a speciall interest , more than ordinary , in them : and they cannot therefore be had without him .

Fourthly , a a Conjugium non facit sola copula carnalis . Nuptias non concubitus , sed●consensus facit . Vlpian . reg. Iur. leg . 31. Matrimonium non facit de floratio virginitatis , sed pactio nuptialis . Ambr. instit. virg. c. 7. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aristot. anal . pri. l. 2. c. 22. Branch 5. Doct. 5. Mariage requireth a coniunction of Minds , of Affections , of Willes . And b b 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 ; Muson . de nupt. scop . Stultum est , venatum ducere invitas canes . Hostis est vxor , invita quae ad virum nuptum datur . Plaut. Stich. 1. 2. better it were , Reason 4. that Men and Women should neuer come together , vnlesse they beare heartie affection either to other , vnlesse they ioine hearts as well as hands . But as c c Prov. 21. 1. the Kings Heart ; so d d Solus Rex mentium Deus . Aug. in Ioan. the hearts of all Men and Women are in Gods hand . As e e Psal. 33. 15. he made them all , and f f Acts 15. 9. & 1. 24. 1 King . 8. 39. hee alone knoweth and g g Psal. 33. 15. vnderstandeth them all ; so h h Ezra 7. 27 , 28. Nehem. 1. 11. Psal. 106. 46. he windeth and turneth them all which way he will , nor can any win or winde the Heart of any contrary to his will .

Now , as such a Wife is of God ; so ( which was the last Particular )

It is a speciall fauour of God for any Man to obtaine such an one .

As i i Prov. 8. 35. the Man that getteth Wisdome ; so the Man that getteth a Wife , k k Prov. 19. 14. a wise Woman , ( for there is l l 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 the same Phrase vsed in both places ) hath obtained a speciall fauour ( that is , * * Vnde sufficiam ad enarrandam soelicitatem ●jus matrimonij , quod Ecclesia conciliat , oblatio confirmat , obfignatum angeli ▪ renunciant , pater raro babet . Tertull. ad uxer . l. 2. a singular Blessing , and such as he is wont to conferre on such as hee specially fauoureth ) at Gods hands . m m Psal. 128. 1. Blessed is the Man that feareth God , saith the Psalmist , and that walketh in his waies . And n n Psal. 128. 3. his Wife the fruitfull Vine , commeth in in the first place , as one of his chiefe Blessings ; and his Children , the fruit of this precious plant , in the next . And , o o Sirac . 26. 1. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Eurip. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Idem . He is a blessed Man , saith the Son of Syrach , that hath lighted on a ●ood Wife ; and p p Sirac . 25. 8. Foelices ter & ampl●is , Quos irrupta ten●t . ●opula ; ne● m●…is Divulsus qu●… H●rat . ●a . m. 1. ●3 . Reason 1. that liueth with an vnderstanding Woman .

Now this we may further and better conceiue by the Contrary .

It is an effect of Gods anger to light on a bad Wife : q q Prov. 22. 14. Syrac . 26. 24. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Pallad antholog . l. 1. c. 17. Et ibid. 19. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . He that God is angrie with , shall fall ( into that snare , or ) into that pit . And * * Sirac . 26. 3 , 14 , 24. Reason 2. a truit therefore of Gods fauour to light on a good Wife .

Yea it is a speciall fauour of God to misse of the one . ( r r Eccles. 7. 28. Vt contra Eur●p . Alcest . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Reason 3. He that is good in Gods eye , that is , is in fauour with God , shall escape her , saith Salomon ) and a speciall fauour of God then to light on the other . There is a single Benefit in the one ; s s 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . quod Athenis in nup●…s di●…litum . Zenodot . Prov. a double Blessing in the other .

Againe , It is a speciall fauour of God : For as it is a fauour , that cannot be had without him : so it is a fauour , that † † 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Euripid. he doth not ordinarily vouchsafe vnto euery one , no not vnto euery godly one . Many a good t t 2 Sam. 6. 20. Dauid is matched with a scoffing Micol . Many u u Iob 2. 3 , 10. & 19. 17. a iust and religious Iob , with a foolish and vnkinde Woman ( if Woman at least ) rather than Wife . We see many daily mismatched , and x x 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . 2 Cor. 6. 14. vnequally yoaked , y y 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Muson . de nupt. scap . to their great griefe . And our eares are too frequently filled with the complaints of such , as can shew where z z 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . P. Aemil. ajud Plut. Soccus hic quem cerni●i● , no●●s & elegans : sed nemo s●itpraeter me ubi me premat . Hieron . ●n Io●in . l. 1. the shooe wrings them , but neither can tell , nor be told which way to finde ease .

And as it is a fauour somewhat a a Quam sit rarum tales inventri , norunt qui duxerint . Hieron . in Iovin . lib. 1. rare , that God vouchsafeth not euery one ; so it is b b 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Euripid. Menalip . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Sophocl . Phaed. Vses 6. Reprehension Vse 1. a Blessing of Reason 4. much moment , where he pleaseth to vouchsafe it . It is a Blessing that bringeth a kinde of Heauen vpon Earth ; as the contrarie produceth a kinde of Hell here out of Hell : according to that which the Heathen Man well saith , that c c 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Theodect . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Menand . euery Man when he marrieth , bringeth either a good or an euill Spirit into his house ; and so consequently maketh his House , to himselfe at least , either an Heauen or an Hell .

Now the Consideration of these Points may well serue , Partly for Reprehension , and Partly also for Admonition .

For the former ; It may first serue to reproue the Practise of those that seeke not at all ; make no search or enquirie ; but take Wiues as they stumble on them hand ouer head , ( as many doe d d 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . I'lut . de amic . Friends , whom a pint of wine drunke together , or a game at tennis , or a set at Maw maketh Friends ; ) as if they drew cuts , or e e Sic Plato de repub. l. 5. & in Timaeo sorte dari praecipit civibus suis uxores . Et apud Plautum de Cosina ducenda servi duo sorti●ntur . Et sortc Martam Ios. phe obligisse Epiphanium tradidisse ( sed falsus ipse ) Interpres opinatus est . cast Lots for them , as some sometime haue done . f f 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Chrysoll . tom. 8. ser●● . 15. If thou wert to take an house , or to hire but a seruant , saith Chrysostome , how carefull wouldest thou be to make diligent enquirie of the commodities and discommodities , conueniences and inconueniences , easements and annoiances of the one , who hath before dwelt in it , what neighbour-hood about it , and the like ; and of the qualities and conditions , vices or good parts of the other , whom he had formerly serued , how behaued himselfe in their seruice , how likely to proue fit for thy seruice , and the like . And g g 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Chrysost. ibid. hast thou not much more cause to be carefull , yea curious in thine enquirie concerning her , whom thou mayest chance to make thy Wife ? That so h h Sirac . 6. 7. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . ●heophr . apud Plut. de fratr . amor . Cum judicaveris diligere oportet , non cum dilexcris judicare . Ci● . de amic . Iudgement , as it should doe , may goe before and lead Affection , and not follow and come after it . The rather since that i i 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Chrys●st . vbi sup. thine House if vpon triall thou mislike , thou maist leaue ; or thy Seruant , if he please thee not , thou maist put off againe , vpon a quarter , or halfe a yeeres warning at most . But k k Matth. 19. 5 , 6. Rom. 7. 2. 1 Cor. 7. 10 , 27. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Plut. paedag . Vincu●um est conjugium , quo alligatur nupta vir● , quo nup●ae vir as●rin●itur . Eonum vinculum , sed vinculum tamen , de quo cum velit e●uere se nupta 〈◊〉 possit . Ambr. ex●ort . virg. Tol●end●●● aut serendum vit●um conj . gis . Varro . Gell. n●ct . l. 1. c. 17. ●t●que , D●l b●…m est d●u , quod sta●… dum est semel . thy Wife there is no casting off againe : she must all thy daies abide by thee , all hers at least , like enough to last as long as thou liuest . Nay there is l l 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Diegen . apud L●ert . Nulla est vx●ris electio . Eq●…s , asi●… , bos , canis , & man ip●…a , 〈◊〉 qu●q●e & 〈◊〉 , sedueligne●m , c●…x , & ur●eol●● 〈◊〉 , probantur p●… & si●… : S●… uxo● non ostenditur , ne ante displi●eat , quam da● atur . Th●… . Hi●ro 〈◊〉 . ad 〈◊〉 . l. 1. Atqui ap●d Eut●… 〈◊〉 suos secus fieri sing●● M●rus , quem 〈…〉 . no woman almost so vnwise or vnwarie , that will buy an earthen pitcher , or and it be but an halfe-peny pipkin , but she will view it well first , ring it , and trie it whether it be sound and whole or no : much lesse will they put any pretious liquor into bottell or vessell , but they will first sound it and smell to it whether it be sweet or no , and m m 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 . de garr●l . trie it with water ere they trust it with wine . Whereas Husbands and Wiues , Men and Women take at aduenture , without any kinde of inquirie ; and they haue but a faire out-side , that is all they regard : It was n n Genes. 6. 2 , 3. the fault of those before the Floud , and o o Foecunda culpae secula ●●p●ias Primum inquinavere , & genus , & do●●s : Hoc fonte derivata clades In patriam populumque fluxit . Horat carm. 3. 6. the root and ground of that excesse of euill that brought in that vniuersall Deluge . Nor is it to be maruelled , if such rash and hastie proceeding produce hastie repentance p p 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Philem. Et Socrates interrogatus , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Laert. & Stob. c. 66. Vse 2. in these cases as in matter of q q Ad poenitendum properat , caò qui judicat . P. Syr. iudicature , and r r Temerè consulta celerem poe●…tentiā , sed eam seram & inu●ilems qut . Daemocritus Aetol . apud Liv. hist. l. 31. other affaires oft it doth : If affection soone alter , where it was neuer well rooted , or soundly setled : if s s Ita Eques quidam Komanus uxorem prid●è sortitione ductam postridiè repudiavit . Su●ton . Tiber . c. 35. such as cast Lots for Wiues this day , be willing the next day to part with them againe .

Secondly , it serueth to reproue those , that seeke indeed , but seeke amisse ; that seeke without light , yea that refuse to vse such light as would be lent them , and is tendred vnto them , and that , when they haue more need of it then they are , it may be , aware of . Such are they , the younger sort especially , that thinke scorne to take aduice of their Friends , imagining themselues t t Cons●…j satis est in me mihi . Ara●hne apud . Ovid. Metam lib 6. wise enough to aduise themselues , and to make their owne choise . u u 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Hierocl . de nupt. That that proueth the very bane , and vtter ouerthrow of many an one , that might well haue done well , if they would haue beene ruled by those that wished them well , and were both able and willing well to aduise them : but refuse to hearken to any good aduice , till it bee too late , when they come to be scourged soundly with a rod of their owne making .

Thirdly , it serueth to reproue others that seeke Vse 3. amisse in another sort : they knocke at the wrong doore , they goe not the right way to worke ; that seeke x x Genes. 34. 3. by indirect courses to ensnare the hearts and entangle the affections of those whom they desire , being vnder the power of others , passing by their Parents , or others vnder whose power they are ; and whom as y y 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Hier●cl . deliber . offic. erg. par. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Ibid. Itaque Mand●t●m 5. de Parentibus observandis Tabulae priori adjudicat Philo Iud. sacitque 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , uti est reverá , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Vse 4. God hath set in his place , so hee hath in part imparted to them his power of disposing . Such cannot expect any blessing from God on their seeking , seeking contrarie to his word and will .

Fourthly , those especially come here to be reproued , that passe wholly by God , neuer looke vp to him : vse their owne industrie , it may be , and take aduice of their Friends , but neuer thinke on or looke after him that ought to be their principall aduiser , their chiefe Counseller , their best Friend , either to craue his aduice or to aske his good will . And no maruell , if so much neglecting him , they speed accordingly , they misse of that z z 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Eurip . Menalip . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Aes●hyl . Eumen. that without him cannot be had . a a Nam nec interri● liberi sine consens●● patrum rite & jure nubent . Tertull. ad uxorem l. 2. Verb● aureis literis seribenda . Rhenan . in annot. Hinc piè virgo orthodoxa a● Haeretic● solicitata , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Clem . Alex. Stro. l. 3. Admonition . Vse 5. Thou wouldest take it euill , that any man should be a Suitor to thy Daughter , and neuer come to aske thee thy good-will . Much more may God take it euill that thou shouldest seek to win his Daughters loue without crauing his good leaue .

Fiftly , Is such a Wife a speciall Fauour of God ? Then be carefull to reconcile thy selfe in the first place vnto God , if thou wouldest hope , or doest dedesire to haue such a speciall fauour at his hands . If thou desirest a Mans Daughter , thou wilt seeke to get her Fathers good-will : And if there haue beene any breach formerly betweene thee and him , thou wilt vse all good meanes of working an accord and agreement betweene you , ere thou wilt come to make suit to him , to bestow his Daughter vpon thee . For little hope couldest thou haue to preuaile with him in a suit of that nature , b b Legantur quae de Scipionis filia Tib. Graccho desponsa Liv. hist. l. 18. Val. Max. l. 4. c. 2. & Gell. noct . Attic. l. 12. c. 8. Vse 6. so long as there were jarre and enmitie between you otherwise . And how canst thou hope to obtaine the like fauour at Gods hands , if there be enmitie and hostilitie betweene him and thee ?

Lastly , let such maried persons as God hath blessed in this kinde , learne hence what cause they haue to be thankfull to God either for other . Yea let the jarres and discord that they see betweene other Men and Women mismatched , and the crosse and cursed cariage of them either toward other , together with the manifold annoiances and grieuous mischiefes and inconueniences that ensue ordinarily thereupon , be a meanes to put them in mind of Gods great mercie and goodnesse to them , and of his speciall fauour towards them ; and to make them the more thankfull vnto him for the same .

And since that they haue receiued either other from God , let them herein striue to shew their thankfulnesse vnto God , by endeuouring to bring either other neerer vnto God , by c c Hebr. 12. 24. 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Greg. Naz in Basil & in Athenas . 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . Idem in Maccab. helping either other forward in the good waies of God : Doe either with other , as Anna did with her Sonne Samuel , as d d 1 Sam. 1. 11 , 27 , 28. she had him of God , so she bestowed him on God againe ; returne either other againe to God , and labour to returne them e e Ita Socrates Aes●hini , qui se ei dono dederat , Habebo curae , ut te meliorem tibi reddam , quam ac●epi . Senec. de beni . l. 1. c. 8. better than they receiued them . The better they shall make either other , the better shall they enioy either other : and the nearer they shall bring either other to God , the more good , through Gods Goodnesse , shall they haue either of other . The more Man and Wife profit in the Feare of God , the more comfortably and contentedly shall they liue together , the better shall it be for them both .

FINIS .