A satirycall dialogue or a sharplye-invectiue conference, betweene Allexander the great, and that truelye woman-hater Diogynes

A SATIRYCALL DIALOGVE OR A SHARPLYE-INVECTVIE CONFERENCE Betweene ALLEXANDER THE GREATE ▪ and that Trulye woman-hater Diogynes . Allexander .

WHy howe nowe Cy●nick , what dust doe a daies That thou in tubb art coop't-vp thus alwaies ?

Diogynes . What doe I doe ? not daunce from howse to howse To bibb in wynes sweete Iuice , eache dambd ●orrowse Nor doe I gallop it from place to place To veiwe each faire bewitching painted face Nor studdye howe , this populous world to wynn My studdy's howe , to beate and conquer synn I studdye not wherewith my gutts to cramm On what soe ere I feede , well pleasd I am . To mee 's all one the fyn'st and grossest meate So 't wholesome be , I nere eare what I eate . With in my selfes a world , and it is true I howrlie fight , all that world to subdue And these fell-fighters bee the enymies , That rebell-like , againste me dailie rise Vaine Pryde ( my cheifest foe ) the leading hath Of these feirce-foes : loathd , drunkenues and Wrath With Averice , Sloathe , Gluttonie , and Lust , Encounter hottlie eu●ie daie I must To beate downe these , I daylie doe devise : To this end , I vse strentgh and pollicies : I studdy not , nor trouble I my witt Howe I by flatt'ry should be fauouritt Vnto greate Allexander . I would refuse To be that monarchs selfe , If I might chuse . Allexander . THou wouldst not ; wouldst ? Diogynes . I would by Ioue I vowe Allexander . ALas ( poore sillie snake ) why what art thou ? Diogynes . WHat thou art not : I am an honest man And then ( I hope ) the more vnlike thee than . I am noe Courtyer I , for once by chaunce I with an other mans faire wife did daunce Yet Icie-vayned I ( vnsett a fire ) Did freeze moste coldlie , in loues hott desire : I did indeed : but doe you heare me hoe ? Was e're hott-blouded Courtyer frozen soe ? I am noe Lawyer I , for once there was A poore man praide me vndertake his case Quoth he , praie vndertakt and you shall haue your fee Though you sitt dumb , and nothing speake for me . But I refusd it I : yet harke you hoe What Lawyer ere refusd , and tempted soe ? I am noe younger-brother , brauelie sprighted For once a vsring golden Asse ( be nighted ) Quite laden , with his full stu●t treasure baggs ; By me that dreaming drudge , all feareles laggs Yet honest I ( vntempted with this sight ) Though emptie mavd , at this baite would not bi●e Hence capring Courtyer ask you who I am ? Goe , gett you hence , s●udd quick from whence you came . Allexander . CYnnick you are to sharpe did you but knowe me I am assurd more reu'rence you would showe me . Diogynes . HOwe ? I showe reverence ? noe , vnderstand That Allexander getts none at my hand . Allexander . IN faithe Diogynes thou haste not beene , In all thy life , where anie thing th' ast seene . Yf thou dst but trauayle and some fashions see , Thou dst aunswere none , as nowe thou aunswerst me . Diogynes . HAue I not trauayld ? ha ? yes yes I trowe , ( Spruce fellowe ) thou haste neuer trauaild soe . Where I haue bene , there s fewe hath euer beene But yet men saie noe wonders I haue seene , Why once I sawe , a rit●h-left heire to weepe , When 's old dadd tooke his euerlasting sleepe . Once did I see a bewteous maide ( t is straunge ! ) Liue twentie yeares , yet not that title chaunge Once did I see a wife in mourninge weede Shedd teares ouer hir husbands course indeed I once did see a Cytizens faire wife Liue at the Courte , he leading else wher'es life And hee ( in s witt ) noe wiser then an asse Yet was hee brow'd , more smothe then smothest glasse Once did I see a King giues foes the foile And gaue his souldyers leaue , to take the spoile And lastlie once I was in such a Court Where 'bout the King , noe flattrers did resort Where I haue beene , oh furelie none haue beene , Then why saie you , noe wonders I haue seene ? Allexander . WHy faith Diogynes me thinkes these are , No● things ( as thou wouldst make em ) wondrous rare The like in eu'rie place and realme I see Th'●re comon , man , they ordynarie be . Diogynes . THose ordynarie thinges ? I fayth sir noe ; These thinges , are th' ordynarie thinges , I trowe To see faire bewtious ladies nowe a daies Refuse to take at once both pricke , and praise Of both the i le not accept , for still those men Which gives the one , shall tother haue agenn . The other thinges ? why ! those are wondrous rare These ●e the thinges that ordynarie are ●o see howe Lords shake-of their serving men And howe their ladies take them on agen Holding emin ( vnto their Lords vnknowne ) To ride in private , with them vp and downe T' see m●rcers ●ookes fild-vp with courtyers names . To see your min●yng bewteous cyttie dames Haue alwaies some one gallant of the court , ( As knisman to them ) to theire howse resort . To see , a plaine kind man loue none soe much As he which giues his pate the cuckolds tutch These ; these are ordynarie man : also This things is as much ordynarie too To see your riteh old country squires to wedd Their chamber maides vnto theire servaunts bedd But firste themselues to take the maydenhead Then place them in some cottage nere at hand To haue theire service , readie at comaund . Thou saydst the first were ordynarie thinges : Awaie awaie : why man to see on Kinges Howe Daunger plaine , cloathd smoothly-smiling Daunger● Wayteth on them , attending like noe straunger But like some smyling , countenanced freind Onelie to giue too 's Prince , his fatall end : Thou lt say perhaps , this is noe common thing But thou d'st vn say 't againe wert thou a King What thinges are common , and not common be , Thy shallowe reatch , cannot conceaue I see . Allexander . NAie fie Diogynes infaith thou art , In thy conclusions still a dram , to tart I pray thee lett me soe prevaile with thee As ride to Allexanders court with mee T will mend thee much , and I will vndertake , The King shall byd thee welcome for my sake . Diogynes . VNto my Tubb , lett Allexander come I 'me in a Pallace , when I 'me in this home Let those that list , vnto thy King resort , T is not my list : what should I doe at 's court ? Allexander . AS others doe ; in spending of smal● pelfe , Thou maiste in tyme to honour raise thy selfe . Diogynes . I cannot fawne , my tongue too rustie is ; I bashfull am ; I 'm nothing boldlie rude I rather chuse Court delecates to misse Then with a brazen face my selfe ty'ntrude : In tubb ( coop't-vp ) I will liue euer mude And euer liue vppon sowre garden woortes Er'e I le ' a flattr'er be , and followe cortes I cannot turne my tongue to praise and laude A soone-lamb'd prick-eard proud-feerce fi●y steed I cannot Fyndalls full deepe mouth applaude Nor swaere the greate-mans grew hound hath best speed When hee doth plaie the slowe-slugg cur● indeed Though some cann doo 't , yet such is my sowre kind I neuer could , though 't gall's his sweld pust mind I cannot tell the greate foole hee is wise , Nor t●ll fowle ladies , they are wondrous faire I ne're applaude aboue heauns-spangled skies The curld-worne tresses , of dead-borrowd haire Like Northern blaste I breathe my crittick aire : I am noe Mimyck ape , I loathe and hate , Each light-braind , giddy-head to Imytate I cannot brooke , to suck the livings bloud Of these old Vsrer's ritch-left prodigalls I nourish not with such sweete-bitter food : I hate to rise by other mens downe falls I knowe t is Ill though other think t is good Though some doe think such papp all sweete to be Yet I doe not ; it poyson proues to mee . To make short worke , I neuer loud ' vaine sportes And therefore I 'me vnfitt for Prynces Courtes ? Allexander . DIogynes , thou art deceyued quite In vanities Kinges take the least delight I le vndertake none shall respected bee ( Yf thou wilt followe him ) better then thee Come to the Court , and then in seeing him Thou also maiste , take veiwe of ladies trymm Mee thinkes , hee is too dull and sadd of spright That in a bewteous dame takes noe delight . Why hee that 's mary'd is in heaun all night . Diogynes . THere lett him bee , for I had rather dwell A thousand tymes , a single man in hell I am assurd that there 's noe Divell cann ( Like to a wife ) torment a mary'd man . I l'e none of them , I 'me euer worse a yeare When once I doe , a womans tongue but heare It galls my gutts when I a woman see I le not once come , where such straunge creatures be Come hold your tongue , and prate no more to me Allexander . NAie good Diogynes bee not soe quick I hope yet 'ere I die , see thee loue sick Diogynes . LOue-sicke ? why I doe loue these women soe As I 'me soe fonde , I knowe not what to doe Such is my loue vnto the femall Kind As were I Empr'our of thyn fernall lake But women , none with me should fauour synd One man into my Kingdome I d' e not take I de ' send my servaunts out , to search and see To bring all women in the world to mee . Allexander . By th masse Diogynes thou loust em well Wert thou the King and gouernour of hell Thou wouldst I see advaunce the women kind There is noe want of will hadst to thy mind Wert thou ( I see ) the prince of that faire place Women , ( onelie ) with thee should be in grace I see thou dst very carles be of men I see thou dst women haue , t' attend thee then . Diogynes . I that I would , and this they should be bold I de carefull be they should not freeze with cold Allexander . I fayth Diogynes I doubt th' ast euer Beene privatelie a vild laciuious liuer Or neuer haste beene yet ( I greatelie feare ) Where anie one faire vertuou● creature weare . Diogynes . NOr nere will looke to be : I am too wise To thinke that vertue cann remaine in vice Allexander . WErt thou at Court , thou 'dst alter then thy mind When women thou didst see , soe wondrous kind Forsake this Tubb , t' is solliterie Ill And howe to court faire ladies , learne the skyll . Diogynes . NOwe , by the lustfull fire , hott boiling vaines ▪ Of that same wanton greate god Iupiter I am vnskild in these speech-pleasing straines To courte a wenche when I come vnto hir I 'me then an all-mute dumb and surlie sir I cannot lispe , nor cann I courtlike saie , When I doe women woe , I runn my waie . I cannot singe , nor cann I turne my tongue To chaunte a Syren-charming quau'ring dittye When I these bewties chaunce to come amonge My lead-sade-sable lookes must moue their pittie All what is in me then , is all vnwittie I want these warbling noates to wynn their loues Nor cann I pricksong sett , which better moues I cannot musick it , nor finger fyne A sweete-cleare-throated , care-charme instrument I 'me not posseste with such sweet parts devyne Whereby to cause , faire bewties merryment T'ynchaunt theire eares nothing cann I invent And well knowe I , that women take delight In these same instruments , both daie and night I cannot daunce , no● with my sprawling heeles Cann I the ny'mble cutt-heele caper kick My sullen bloud an other humor feeles To woe a wench , I want the wanton trick I am a milksopp then , I then am sick Againe , strenghes moysture in may vaines is skant , Which women after dauncing must not want . And therefore pry thee fellowe lett me reste Of all these worldly Courts , my Tubb's the best . Allexander . DIogines , my meaning is mistooke I would not , that your Tubb be quite forsooke But for your recreation nowe and then You l ' goe too th' Court , from court t' your tubb agen . Mistake me not , it will for your good tend A wiseman alwaies lysten will too 's freind . Diogynes . NAie would you would these complementes forbeare For Courtyers freindshipps , I did neuer care Ye● should I chuse a freind , a Courtyer than I would make ●hoise-of , fore another man : By this example I will plainelie proue That like to courtyers , none doe truelie loue Like to apparrell they doe loue theire freind To what ( like that ) doe they theire loues extend : Like cloathes they loue theire freindes : why that is true Iust like em , cause they nere loue cloathes but newe : Pack hence , for such loue should I find of you . Allexander . NAie fye Diogynes you cann ( yf list ) Forbeare to plaie this crabb-sowre satirist I pry thee Cynnick broach thy milder braine And let thy wordes runn in a sweeter vaine In others natures too too much you markst , Against theire faultes too rusty ●ond you barkst I doe dislike it I , I pry thee cease Thou d'st gaine more loue , yf thou didst hold thy peace : Turne courtyer man , come , be thou pollitick wise He best wynns loue , that best cann sooth-vp vice . Diogynes . THen I le ' wynn hate : nor King nor Clowne I le ' spare Yf they with vices vennym poysned are Yf with Prides swellinge tympany I fynd Theire hartes are once puft-vp ; I le speake my mind . Let 's pate be crownd , with hundred thowsand crownes Lett cruell deathe , succeed his wrathfull frownes Yet ( yf in him ) loathd filthie synns I see Hee shall not ( in them ) sooth'd-vp-be , by mee I cannot soothe ; I am not that waies wi●e : Who liveth not in vertue , dies in vice . Allexander . THou sayst well Cynnick , for I hold this race Of oyld-tongu'd flattrers , to be dangerous base The cankerd rust , doth not the Iron frett Soe faste as these , doe in good natures eate The statelie oake a longer tyme would liue Yf to the Ivie , he noe truste did giue But as the Ivie ' , 'boute the oake entwyndes To worke his fall ; so 't fares with flattrers mindes . But whether in discourse , shall our tongues walke ? I came not here , of court affaires to talke I came to see , thy manner kind of life And t' aske thee , why thou getst thee not a wife . Faith gett thee one , I would not lie alone Yf all the world could but afford mee one . Diogynes . A wife ? why for my life I cannot see Howe man , with woman , euer should agree When men goe backward , and goe downe the wynd It frettes , cuttes , galles , and greiveth sore the mind When women backward growe ▪ and downeward goe Theire spleenes , with laughter tickles then I trowe : Since theire two natures , are soe contrarie I muse howe tweene them , cann be sympathie A wife ? oh fellowe tha' rt a younge man yet Ther'e 's much sowre sawce , belonges to that sweete bitt : Who would be troubled with the yawling noyse Of a harsh-whewling young childes whympring voice Againe , to see em fligger , smile , and plaie Doth make mee greiue as much an other waie When they doe simper , I doe sighe ; for then I mynd the miseries , they l see ( ere men . ) T would cutt my heart to heare a babe crye dadd Oh giue me meate : when t is not to be hadd He that doth wiue , for pleasures sole intent T is tenn to one , but soone he will repent . Who would be bound to scrape , pinch , carke , and care For brattes , ( perhapps ) that gott by others ate ? Not I : I le ' none of this thing , cald a wife Let him take one , that 's wearie of his life For hee that alwaies will supplies ' wiues lack Must vnto Nature goe , for a steele back . A wife ? I le ha noe wife : such sprights will frowne Vnles they ( er'e a non ) are coinurd ' downe : Againe my little Tubb is too too small To hold my wife , my selfe , and whom shee 'le call It must not be a smale howse that cann hold A silent man , ioynd with a shrill-tongud schold Nowe will hir gossipps come ; then praie nowe where Is roome for them to chatt , and make good cheere ? And nowe hir old-acquainted freind will come ( Perhapps to see hir , when I 'me from my home ) Then where's my galleree , for them to walk ? Or anie place for old freindes secrett talk ? Some what perhapps they l ' doe , I should not see : Where haue I chambers then for them to bee ? Not in my Tubb my Tubb ●ath nor the scope For hir to gossip't , with hir mates I hope . Yet though I haue 〈◊〉 wife ( with ho●● de●ire ) My harte is flamd : burnt am I with loues fire A loue I haue to whom I will be true Obserue hir partes , I will discribe them you My loues pure white hath ne're sustaind a spot She 's wise , ●ood , rich , faire , chaste , what is shee not ? Hlr eyes ¹ , grace ² , speach ³ ; hath ¹ fir'd , amaz'd ² , rauisht ³ , My harte ¹ , sence ² , thoughts ³ ; with loue ¹ , wonder ² , delight ³ , But fyr'd ¹ , 'mazd ² , sence-rest ³ ; I sought ¹ , prayde ² , and wisht ³ , To quenche ¹ , cure ² , and heale ³ ; loue ¹ , sence ² , and eyes3-dymd sight Thus eyes ¹ , grace ² , speache ³ ; hath fyr'd ¹ , amazd ² , sence-charmd ³ My thoughts ¹ , sence ² , witts ³ , with loue ¹ , with feare ² , vnarmd ³ Oh my loue 's fairelie white without a spott Such is hir hue noe staine hir hue can blott Virtue 's that Dame in hir sweete grace I sitt 'T is shee loues me , she 'es womans oppositt , Could I one headles lymb les corp les see To such a one would I betrothed be For had shee nere a head ; noe tongue sheed haue : Nor corps ; then I de not d●ead the lechrous knaue : Nor lymb ; then should I neuer quiv'ring stand Fearing my eares remembraunce of hir hand Of rope or hangman I was nere afrayde At noe sight quake I but at wife or maide . Allexander . OH harsh-sowre , crabby Cyn●ick , still I see To gentle creatures thou wilt stubborne be If with a girle t hast neuer slept a night Thy soule hath neuer tasted sweete delight . Such is the femall sex , while wife or maide As of them , too much good , cannot be saide Methinkes the skipping bloud ( a Virgins grace ) Which tripps lavaltoes in each maydens face When mens fowle tongues , o're-flowes with ribaldery Should make thee loue maides , for theire modestie . Diogynes . MAydens modest ? what is this modestie ? ●f t' is in them , it is a vice saie I Vertue in women is as cold as Ice : Nothinge is warme in them vnlest be vice . Thou art a dunce , thou haste noe reatche I see Why Maydes at all tymes cann faine modestee . Thei l ' blush as oft while they liue single liues As they will weepe , when they be mary'd wiues : If t was my liste , I could a thowsand name That would ( yf men talke Ill ) blush at the same Y●t thy themselues , their tongues shall nimblie walke Whole nights togeather , all in too-broad talk . Allexander . THou wrongst em soore : I doe not think it I That maydens tongues , will tripp Immodestlie . Diogynes . THou doost not , doost ? I prithee think soe still : I think thy witt is like a womans will But what thou dost not think , I trulie knowe : What I haue saide of maydes men shall find ●oe I fellowe , fellowe , till theire by thems●lu●s Maydes in talke are modest bashfull elues But beinge from the companie of men The lawes of modestie is broken then . T was not longe since I stood to maydens neere But Lord ! thou 't nere beleeue what I did heare For onelie that same wench esteemd ' was well Which could the ribauldst dreame , relate and tell : I could relate all what they did relate But that my tongues , disvs'd to such like prate 'T is vild obscene ; speake younge man wilt you hav 't ? Allexander . COme , out with 't Cynnick , I knowe thy delight ●s , all in all to worke faire woomen spight .

DIOGINES RELATES the three wanton Sisters wanton dreames . Diogynes . O Yet the fyer , once three maydens satt ●nknowne to them , I ouer heard theire chatt Eache with hir tuckt-vp cloathes , in pleasing plight ( Pleasing I meane vnto fond y●unge mens sight ) Satt ore the fyer , soe , as one might see , From sl●nder foote , to round white nimble knee As thus they satt , I 'me sure thou doest thinke what ( When maydes with maydens bee ) wil be theire chatt Girles ( quoth the eldest sister ) what shall 's doe ? Smal'es my desire , vnto my bedd to goe Fo● yet , I never in my couche could fynd A sportiue mate to please my mayden mind Alas , alas , what pleasure and delight Takes one mayde with an other in the night ? But smale god knowes it , for my owne part I Ne're tooke anie with whom Ie're did lie . For loue , noe revells in that bedd doth keepe Where one girle , by an others side doth sleepe . ●or trulye ( sisters ) there is none that can Giue maydes delight in bedd , but a young man And but in dreame ( the more vnhappie I ) I ne're with such a beddfellowe could lie But yet in dreame ( oh matchles sweete delightes ! ) I v'e lyne , and lyne , with one whole wynters nightes The greater greife ( you 'l saie ) 't was to my mind When I did wake , and my selfe single fynd . Oh girles it was ! but sisters I doe see , It is with eu'rye mayde as 't is with mee . Such are our dreames , as wee doe laugh in sleepe But when wee wake againe , oh then wee weepe . But what shall s ' doe ? wee 'l not soe soone to b●dd Letts rather tell , howe ne're wee haue beene spedd . Our merry'st dreames come le●t vs nowe relate Girles gott with girles , their mindes maie freelie prate What though w' are maides ? here are noe men to heare vs Freelie wee vse to chatt , when th' are not nerevs W' are by our selues : what ere we talke , is well Come let ts drawe lotts , which first hir dreame shall tell . At which the youngest , blushing like a rose Being assignd by lott , firste to disclose Begynns to tell howe to hir soules delight Hir sences ravisht ' were , the other night .

THE YOVNGEST Sisters dreame . QOth shee , on bedds softe downe downe did I lie And s●ugd doowne close , to haue sleepe close eache eye But ere t would bee , I entred in a muse ( I such a muse as all wee maydens vse ) I mus'd ( me thought ) yf there were sweeter blisse For maydes , then 't lie with men , to clipp and kisse Me thought , I thought ( this thought fetcht out a groane ) It was a hell to lie , all night alone . At which I sight , and turning me I wept Desiring , what I knowe not , till I slept In which my sleepe ( oh fancies sweete delight ? ) Appeard a youth ( Pheobus was much lesse bright ) Gold were his lockes , firye sparkles were his eyne His browes , cheekes , and chynn were as louelie fyne I' ns shirte was hee , a shirt soe fyne I wynn As one might see , what was tweene shirt and skynn His snowe-white armes , in-laide with azurd vaine ( Mixed with crimson dye ) one might see plaine His full-broade manlie some-what-downye cheste Dale-like indented tweene two mounting brestes ; On which two prettie fr●iteles teatlinges grewe : Not milkie sweete , sweete onelie for the ve●we . I saw's soft slender waste ; and sisters well nie I fawe what grewe beneathe his plump-round bellie : All what I sawe ( sweete w●nches ) I would tell ye But that sweete loue coniures me ( here 's ' the spight ) Not to discribe , mans sweetly-sportiue spright : Oh sweet's the dreame , which yeeldeth such delight ! But come girles come ; ( fye whether doe I roame ? ) Me thinkes bu● coldlie I tooth purpose come : To me he came , and kiste me too ; when I Me thought did faine , I did a sleeping lie Me thought , I lett him kisse and kisse agenn And ●ouche me too ( maydes maie be toucht by men . ) I sisters , faythe ( me thinkes ) that maide's vnwise That will in private , to hir l●ue be nice Two faythfull lovers cannot synn I weene Soe what they doe , by others is not seene . Nowe would the wagg , be stroaking of my face And nowe my pappes , anon another place Delighting of himselfe , sisters you can ( Better then I ) tell what best likes a man But fayth-la girles , I cannot chuse but smile I laie , as yf I soundlie slept the while Permitting him to please the appetite Of his too too-fond , youth-last-burning sight Fayning , I soundest slept , whe● hee did steale To vnhill that which maides should cheifst conceale But , when as hee 'd haue come into my bedd The feare I had to loose my maydenhead Awaked me : Quoth thother sisters , what ? I hope we maydens least of al●feare that Beleeue me ( quoth the elder girle ) should I With my sweete-hart , on my wedding-night lie And find him drowsie dull , like heauie lead Hunting but coldli● for a maydenhead : T would kill my tender hart : t would murder mee The blushing morne I nere should liue to see Oh I should fill the roome with groanes : in morne With lookes deiected I should seeme forlorne . But when you wakt ( quoth she ) cha●t you not then Oh noe ! in that case maides nere chafe with men Though wee seeme angry , at there boldest partes Yet seldome comes , our anger from our hartes For in loues sporte ( this is our sexes wyle ) We'el seeme to frowne when most of all we smile Yet sisters faith ( quoth shee ) me thought I wept When I did wake , cause I noe longerslept For trath-la girles such pleasure in 't tooke I As in like dreame , t would nere greiue me to die Had I a world , I d'e givt to learne the skyll Howe I should sleepe and dreame soe at my will Had I that arte , that matchles pleasing slyght Fewe daies I d'e haue , eache daie I d'e turne to night : Lye downe I would , lulling my selfe a sleepe , Bidding my soule delightfull revells keepe : Sild would I wake , but alwaies by my will I de sleepe , and dreame , and be embracing still . Nowe second sister wake , I praie ( quoth shee ) And in your laste nightes dreame come second me .

THE SECOND SIsters dreame . THe second sister some what modest bold Reply'd ; my dreame partlie by you is told Before you slept , me thought , I heard you saie You in sweete musinge , did a longe tyme laie You mu●ing sigh'd , and sigh'd till sleepe did steale Vppon your mayden eyes , their lidds to seale At length you slept and dreamt you sawe your loue ( A dreame indeed , which much vs maydes doe moue ) You kiste with him but when he 'ed with you lie That made you w●ke , and out the bedd to flie But soe ( me thought ) sweet sister did not I For I ( me thought ) did think it was noesym To lett a youth betweene my sheetes leape in But yet for fashions sake oft thus I de crye Praye gett you ●ence , seeke some where els to lye Yet this repulse should still soe faintlie come As it should feircer whett him on for roome For coldlie , to denie loues sweete delight Spurrs to a gallop , thefeirce appetite . And sisters well you knowe , we maydes doe hold Those youngmen weake which hunt loues chase but cold What is it to crye , fye , or praye nowe hence ? Why to a resolute mynde , that kinde of fence Too open lies : oh ! men are desprate foes Vppon advantage , thei le come in , and close , I de ne're crye , fye awaie , nor vtter this But I would closly hugg to him and kisse . Begone , sur●ease , y' are rude , forbeare I praie Of tymes such wordes , I 've gone aboute to saie But er'e those cruell wordes , could haue their birth Tha'ue smoth'erd bynn , and all has turnd to mirth Wagges well knowe howe , to quench our angers flame Sweete kisses , at first kindling , dampe the same For ( sisters ) Loue , his schollers this doth teache Wee ioyne should lippes , to seale our lipp's from speach And soe it fard with vs ; speachles we laie Giving to pleasures sweetned streame free waie Soe longe ( me thought ) we dally'd in the bedd As allmost I had lost my maydenhead But ( girles ) I curse Dreames false deluding guile As I was loosing it , I wakt the while Oh girles ! oh girles ! who knowes what I did misse , For I awakt , in midst of sweetest blisse If euer mayde , toucht Nectar with hir lipp Then I ( in dreame ) of that sweete iuyce did sipp But oh I wakt ! oh then ( awakt ) my spight For being ' wakt , a sleepe fell all delight Nowe eldest sister you must wake ( quoth shee ) Your turne 's to tell , the next dreame after me And reason to the eldest sister sayde Else let on me , some for feyture be laide But , I must tell ●e dreames you haue told twice Vnles I should , some fayned dreame devise Were here more then fiue hundred maydes : yet each Of vs , should in one text and lesson preache For all we maydes doe dreame alike a nights Then to our eyes appeareth pleasing sigh●s And then a smack we taste of loues delights , Oh that Dame Nature , would but heare my sute Then should our mayden bodies , beare noe fruite . Or would it were noe scandall to our liues To haue our pappes giue sucke , er'e marryed wiues : Yf with that pleasing graunt , we maydes were blest Then soner would we yeild to loues requeste For a my fayth girles were it not for feare To be with childe , I d'e ne're denie my Deare Oh then these false dreames fond deluding sightes Weed ne're care for : we'ed taste loues tr'ust delights More then tenn thowsand tymes , Ive thought to pyne This mallenchollie sullen corpes of myne For sild ( alas ) we maydes can taste sweet loue But our owne bellies , doe the tell-tales proue With ●ullen puft-vp pride alowde they reade ; Proclayming publikelye our private deed Happie are wiues , for they are nere afrayde Of that which terryfyeth moste a maide , They maie haue boyes and girles , and boies agen : They maie with husbandes lie , and other men ; Yet nothing noted ; but alas poore we Sild dare doe ought , but what the world maie see , Eache thinge , it selfe againste vs doth oppose All thinges are blabbes , our secrets to disclose For sild we reape loues pleasure in the night But envious daie ( to'ur shames ) bringes it to light Shewing too plaine , at what game we haue beene Making our sweetlie stolen pleasures seene . Oh were it not for dreames , I wonder I Howe we in bedd a nights could brooke to lie But come , lett these things passe ; eyther of you Your dreames haue told : my dreame beginneth nowe

THE ELDEST SIsters dreame . OH ( sisters ) knowe you , to my ravisht sight My loue with 's amber locks appeard laste night Bold boie boldlie hee came as feard of naught , Shewing in what schoole hee his skill was taught Scar●e speaking ought at all ●f ought t was this Where 's my Gerle ? smothring that too with a kisse Nor with this kissing spent hee all the night ●utt ( girles ) our pastime yeelded more delight I dreamt it did doe soe , for you must knowe I did but onelie dreame , it did doe soe : To loues embracementes , wee ( me thought ) fell then But loues sweete game is coldlie chaste by men . Yet our sex , workes loues labor , eu'rye daie With mindes , as willing , as men goe to plaie I girles I girles , I spea kt in heate of bloude Men too toosoone are ty'rd , with doying good But oh deare girlis ( such is our sexes kind ) One man maie please vs all , except our mind For yf one man content one woman cann Then , why should it not be this youthfull man ? His vaines were full , soe stronge a backhee had As Herculis to him was but a ladd Yf youth and strength 't is , quencheth womans fire Then 't was in him , as much as I de desire But 't is not Oceans of that liquid stuff Which lyes in youthfulst men that is enough To quench the mindes outragious frying flame ; For that once ty'nd age onely dampes the same Manie a woman 'till shee hath tr'yd twoo Distasteth all , hir firste sweetehart doth doe From whence praie comss that Luste , that s●wre-sweet smart ? Oh th' ead of that same springes , a divelish harte . But whether from my text am I uowe fled My dreame was this , I loste my maydenhead To that let me retourne : oh t is delight Vnto vs maides , to think but on that night . Him t'weene my armes one while I did infold Another while , he me , 'tweene his would hold . Entwindinge leggs ( me thought ) with me he laie While I , wit his curledl●cks , did sporte and plaie Soe longe plaide we as sisters-well I wisse Our sportes extended further then to kisse Soe longe I kiste , soe longe on 's looks I fedd As sure in dreame I loste my maydenhead ▪ But ( sisters ) was it in my pow're to choose Then such a losse I d'e eu'ry mynute loose For when we maydes doe lose our mayden treasure Oh by that losse we wynn a world of pleasure Fayth Girles , Maydes cannot think what sweet delight Two louers take which warr in loues feirce fight : To them loath som's the daie , ouer the night But nowe I sighe , nowe doe I greiue to thinke That , that night my eye-lides did euer wynke For when I wakt ( oh dreames ! oh dreames y' are theeues And mist my loue , Iudge then ( girles ) of my greeues Oh had I had tenn worldes I would haue than Gev'n all those worldes ( sweete girles ) for half● a man Men stuffs their chestes as full as they can hold With cramb'd-trust bagges of aungell-winged gold : But what to doe ? for sooth to by this land : Oh would I had that dust of Tagus strand I de not buy land or howses with it I For other merchandize I de make it flie : Had I such laden truncks this Ide doe than For enry night i th' yeare I de buy a man For , sisters , I maie speake to you my mind When I awakt , and lookt my loue to find Feeling for 's neck to claspe that neck of his For 's ruddy lipp , hoping that lipp to kisse For 's wanton legg , for myne with that t'yntwind And sisters for — oh girles you knowe my mind When for these louelie thinges I searcht to see Du● could not find , where those sweet things might be With bitter passion , I burst out and cryd Wishinge , with in my mothers womhe I d'e dy'd Oh sisters ! oh sweete sisters , then did I Wishe , fatall Death attache me instauntlie . Nowe did I stare aboute ; nowe did I call But when noe aunswere I could heare at all Vp in my smock I rose and searcht each place ( Oh girles extreames our sex in loues sweete case ) Groping behind eache trunck , feeling vnder bedd Me thought for him which had my maydenhead And oft I de crye sweete wagg , thy selfe disclose ▪ For I v'e another maydenhead to loose But when noe answere I could heare , oh then Weeping , I sigh'd and went to bedd agen Wher'e one while tumbling that waie ; other this : Nowe should I sighe ; nowe my poore pillowe kiss● Entwinding it betweene my armes embrace I de hug g't as yf my deare duck were in place Fayning ( in that my frying passions flame ) I hottlie chaste loues sweetst delightfull game But when I found my sence deluded soe My passions heate , to coldnes then did growe For myssing him I grewe more cold then stone ; Oh't paynes my heart to telt ; come lett 's be gone . Soe vp they rose , but er'e they went I rusht From where I stood , at which the wantons blusht . Nowe sir I hope you see what modest chatt Young maydes will haue when by themselues theire gott . Graues swallowe them : were all dead I 'de be gladd The best of wiues , or maides , are worse then badd .

Allexander . COme , come Diogenes , although those three In private mirthe exceeded modestie Yet you doe Ill t' accuse soe gennerall ; Cause one is badd therefore must they be all ? In soe concludinge , very Ill you doe Noe man soe gen'rallie , concludes but you ▪ Diogynes . ANd by your leaue sir I l'e conclude soe still Where one of them is good tenn thowsand's Ill What I haue saide , I will re-saie agen Wer't not for them , oh blessed were we men Into vs men , they eate as rust and moathes Eates into Iron , and the fynest cloathes Thou seest this riv'led hollowe-eyd face of mine Thou dst little thinke it has beene dect-vp fyne , And tricklie trym'd-vp in a womans guise Onelie to dive into their knaueries But dust thou heare ( I speake it to their praise ) I haue a mary'd wife beene in my daies At least wise like one , for th'e●le yet confesse They once tooke old Diogines for noe lesse : Noe butned dublett , on my back I bo●e A gowne downe to my heeles ( wif-like ) I wore And such attire , this head of myne did beare As mary'd wiues in those daies vsd to weare Then to my chynn , noe briflye haires were knowne Nay'thad not entertayned anie downe But t was soe soft , soe slee● , as each man sayd When I past by , there goes a wife o● maide : My curled locks , hang in a careles guize With which the wynd did plaie in wanton wise Like to a wanton , I was trymlie drest But why I was soe , there consists the iest . Allexander . WHy wast thou soe ? I pry thee Cynnick tell : Till thou haste told it , I shall nere be well . Diogines . WHy then be Ill : in sooth 't is not my liste To make thee laughe : for I 'me a Satyrist : Againe thy companie , I doe brooke soe Ill As I would haue thee gone , had I my will Allexander . WHy tel 't mee then , and instantlie shalt see I will departe , and gett me hence from thee . Diogynes . ON that condition I will telt : why knowe This was the cause I went disguised soe The Dames of Athens merrye wenches be And vnto meetings giv'n-are much you see To gossip't with them , I did long time longe To heare the verdict of eache womans tongue For well knewe I when wiues are gott with wiues There 's tryalls to be heard , of husbands liues False accusations , cruell Iudgments then , ( Vnmercy fullie ) passe vppon poore men To heare all which ( tooth hazard of my life ) I tooke on mee , the habitt of a wife : And well I womand it when I did walk But when at table , I were sett to talk Then did my tongue betraye me ; for I trowe It prou'd a Iade in pace ; t' was dull and slowe : I mumping satt : I could not for my life Make my tongue gallopp , like a marry'd wife T was cause I lackt theire arte to spur it vp Euer anan with a full sugerd ' cupp . Yet wiud I it the best that I could doe And nowe and then raild on my husband too : But marke mee nowe ; nowe to my tale I goe .

The Cynnycks discription of the manner of womens gossypping . AS at our meate we satt t was hard to knowe Whether our teeth or tongues , did fastest goe . At tables vpper end in cheifest place Satt maddam , Will , in reeling drunken case Light in atire shee was , shee s womens god They hir true subiects be : but she 'es mans rodd Nothing by Will , at anie tyme is saide But is by wiues , and widdowes still obayd .

Wills Oration . SVbiectes quoth maddam Will I here am sett Not alltogeather , to se howe you eate Nor came I whollie to participate , With this your freelie-spoken merrye prate But chieflie why amongst you nowe I come Is to knowe howe eache wife , fares in hir home Howe by hir husband shee is dailie vsd Whether she 'es well-entreated , or abusd , Therefore yf anie of you suffer greife Know 't I am Will , and will yeild you releife Be bold to speake , I am the wiues delight And euer was , and wil be th' usbandes spight I l'e sut as Iudge vppon these wicked men Doe you accuse , and I l'e guie s●ntence then .

The old wiues complaynt againste hir younge husband . AT which old Crona with hir redd-bleare eys From of the stoole she satt did straytewayes rise And out aloude , to Will , for iustice cryes . Quothe she , mysou'raygne Queene 't is not with tongue I able am t'expres my dayelie wronge . Three husbandes haue I had ; two old in truth But they the cropping had , of my greene youth In lewe of whith ( to thin'k on 't nowe I 'me sadd ) They left me all the goodes and gold they had . With Cattell sto'rd-was all my pasture growndes With fyne woold bleating sheepe 〈…〉 downes Crambd'was my barnes , my cheste with in 't did hold Manie a Princes picture in puere gold and while they liv'd , that thing was wondrous skant That Crona euer did speake-for and want : Then in wealthes pleasures I did swymm and floate But out alas that e're old fooles should doate For since theire deathes ( oh Queene I spea kt ' with ruth ? ) Fond-foolish I sett my loue on a youth Making him maister and possessor quite ( In hope heed ' doe to mee all true loues right ) Of all the golden goodes I were possest And left-with by theire soules , which nowe doe res●e But ( aye me Caytif ) neuer wretched I Vntill this tyme knewe , what was miserie Oh nowe I fynd , this is the sweeter life To be an old mans nurse , then a youths wife For ' s loue I wedded him , but he aboue Doth onelie knowe , who doth enioie his loue My bedd hee loathes ; hee neuer giues me kis But hee cries , wife , reward my leue for this For yf younge men old wiues one kis affordes T is for the loue th 'aue , to theire golden hordes , Without I buy his loue , hee l lye all night In sullen wise , and discontented plight Not once soe much as turning vnto me Vnles a golden lure , his eyes doth see . And nowe greats goddes Will , for loues intent Soe longe I bribd him haue , as all is spent And I am cast-of , wherefore lett me craue That gainst him , publick sentence I maie haue At which same periodd , all the wittles route In hir behalfe vnto dame Will cryd ' out .

Dame Wills Sentence . SVbiect quoth Will , well has thy fluent tongue Exprest with passion thy too greate a wronge The sentence I pronounce against that wight Is this ; thou shalt torment him daie and night With that same poysned instrument of thyne I meane thy tongue : then shalt-thou se , in fyne Howe despratelye , to hang himselfe he'ele gadd Or els , howe soone he will proue braint-sick madd My seutence is at noe tyme thou shalt rest , But with thy tongue torment him still thy beste . Infeilde , in bedd , at borde , in eache place still I de haue thee stying him with thy bitterst skill Call him vp start , base scumm , the worst of worst ; Ask him who made him , and who raisd him firste ? Tell him , e're thou mettst with him hee did lacke Shoes for 's feete , hose for 's leggs , and cloathes for 's back Such peales at all tymes ring thou in his eare It is my sentence ; doo 't , and doe not feare To doe that hest , awaie did Crona trudge Praising dame Will , for a moste vpright Iudge .

The younge wifes complaint against hir ieolous headed old husband . THat wrinckle-faced drudge , noe sooner gone But in hir place straight flept-vp such a one As matchles was in bewties pleasing grace ; One , who exceld , loues mother in the face Men call hir Youtha : oh-greate queene quoth shee Since woemens wronges thou rightst ' , then right thou mee My couetous parents ( not to Natures kinde ) Vnto an old man matcht me , ' gainste my minde Fortie such men , vnable are to quenche The firye flames tyn'd in a lustfull wenche . When burning Luste with 's violent scortching fire Hath sing'd my harte with passions feirce desire Then in Loues chase I hunt , for in Loues game Remayneth that which quencheth Lusts hott flame . But , tweene an old mans armes what 's there to quench ? Still flares the flames , ty'nd in a youthfull wench . Yet yf that shiu'ring coldnes heate allaies ; Then that in old men , shall we find alwaies As we are extreame hott , soe still are they Extreame in that same cold extremytee But loues feirce fire with fire must quenched be ; ‛ Ells still the more it burnes : so 't fares with me . For 'las , when lust hath heate me , I cann find His cold embrace , nòe quencher of my mind My parents might haue matcht me to one dead , As well as to a sapples old mans bedd : I cann smale diffrence make : for men one old Like dead men laye : oh th' are corruptly cold . Rug'd-wrinckled is his face : his head in showe Seemes like a hillock , hild with milk white snowe His humors heauier , then sadd massie lead His leggs like Isicles doe warme my bedd Noe signe of heate , is in this aged fire ‛ Les in his nose , but that resembles fire . What shall I saie , there 's none , that doth him see But saies the picture of cold winte'rs he Yet I ( oh moste vnequall matche ! ) alas Enforste to wedd , with this cold dotard was With whom ( greate Queene ) I such a life doe leade As I eache mynute , wishe my selfe were dead . Soe hath his aged disabillitie Possessed him , with this feende Ieolosie As I cann noe waies , goe from sight ofs ' eyes But straitewaies after me , he sendes his spies Nor cann I talke with anie , but in 's head A riseth some conceipte , I l'e wrong his bedd . Let but atrech'rous doore in night once creake Then straight he doubtes , there 's some with me would speake Confrence with neerest knin , hee l not allowe , Fearing we plott , to breake our weddlock vowe Which god he knowes ( greate Queene ) my spottles mind That waies as yet , hath neuer beene inclynd Smyle I , or weepe I , all is one ; for hee Of wha't soe e're I doe , will ieolous bee If I doe smyle , then sayes he straight I v'e had Sport with my loue ; t is that , makes me soe gladd If I am sadd ; then doth hee saie hee knowes The spring from whence my mallanchollie flowes Vp braydinge me , I 'me onelie sadd for this Because my loue , of his sett how're did misse Such is a grislie old mans , faire wiues ' state As ieolous-headed he will deeme she'el hav 't Though ouer hir hee setts a thousand spies , And eu'rye spie , an Argus is , for 's eyes : Therefore , since ( causles ) he doth wrong me soe Teache me revenge against this loathed foe . Giue sentence ( Queene ) what shall bee done by me Againste him in revenge ofs ' ieolosee .

Dame Wills sentence in the young wifes behalf against hir old husband . YOutha quoth maddam Will , with greate reguard Haue I , this thy sadd information heard And doe bewaile the same ; but I le ' haue thee Plague thy old husband , for his Ieolosee . Yet Ieolous-headed men noe plagves doe neede For in themselues , sufficient plagues doe breede For looke in what place , Iealosie doth dwell There are the tormentes , of an earthlie hell . Yet since for naught , he doubts soe faire a dame Thus shalt thou sting and torture him , forth ' same . In secrett wise , I le haue : hee staine his bedd , And graft faire guilded hornes , on 's silverd head Such glorious spriggs soe well in noe place growes As in the riv'led furrowes of an old mans browes . Thou art a woman , therefore canst not want At all tymes skill , such setts and grafts , to plant My sentence is thou shalt him soe beguild As make him thinke his father to that child Which thou thyselfe knowst not who it bego●t Togather goodes for whom , shall th' old drudgi trott Not sparing night nor daie , till 's life be done Howe to scrape wealth , to giue anothers sonn And cause thy parents , forste thee to his bedd Thus will I haue thy parents punnished . Thou shalt , vnto theire skarlet blushing shame , Bespott them with the spotts , of thy staind name Soyling thy wedding sheetes , faire I'vry white With fowle black spotts , of salt lusts loathd delight Bewteous youtha my sentence nowe is done See that on them the'res execution .

The gossipping wiues complaint against hir riche churlishe husband . THis sentence giv'n , the whole route●gann to rise But pert-quicke-tongued Gossippa ( whose eyes Contaynd of brymishe teares a cristall fluude ) Starts-vpp , and praies Dame Will , to hir be good . Of all thy louing subiectes I ( quoth shee ) Haue euer yet beene found faythfulst to thee And therefore my good Queene , let me acquainte Thy gentle eares with one petition plainte . Two thinges I loue ; two vsuall thinges they are The firste , newe-fashiond cloathes , I loue to weare Newe tires , newe ruffes ; I , and newe gesture too : In all newe fashions , I doe loue to goe : The second thing I loue , is this I weene To ride aboute to haue those newe cloathes seene At eu'rye gossipping I am at still And euer wil be , maie I haue my will For at on s owne howse , praie , who is t' cannsee Howe fyne in newe found , fash'ond tires wee bee ? Vnles our husbandes ; faithe ; but verye fewe And whoo 'd goe gaie , to please a husbands veiwe ? Alas we wiues doe take but smale delight Yf none ( besides our husbandes ) se'es that sight . It ioyes our heartes , to heare an other man P●aise this or that attire , that wee weare on Wee iocond are , and thinke ourselues much graste Yf we heare one saie , faire wenche , faithe in waste This straight-girt gowne , becomes you passing well From other Taylors , yours doe beare the bell : Oh hee that well cann actt-out such sweete partes Throwes-vp the sure which wynns our verye hartes When we are stubborn'st , then let men with skill Rubb'es well with th' oyle of praise and bend we will That smoothe-fyne supple oyle doth soften vs foe As what is t then we will not yeild vnto ? Meetinges and brauerye were my delight : Those were the two : but ( greate queene ) he'res the spight Without greate store of wealth , be dailie gainde Of all delightes , those are the worste maintaind And therefore I did alwaies plott in mind Howe a wealthie , riche husband , out to find And one I 've gott : but such a churle is hee As scarce a penny will bestowe on mee And that shall neuer come , but ( fore , I ha' te ) The miserable clowne , will scratch his pate Alwayes demaundinge what with 't , I will doe And then comes out , here 's such a stir with you . A man had better tidd-be of his life Then clog'd with such a fydling foolish wife Such are his tauntes , when I demaund him ought As what I gett from him is dearelie bought . I cannot grosslie feede , for I in sooth Haue a tender mawe , and a daintie tooth These beeues and muttons , are but homelie fare My appetite doth thirste-for what 's most rare : Had I vnto my mind , then I would eate Still of the fynest pallat-pleasing meate But fye on h●gges ! oh ! there is none liues , liues Soe straunglie hatefull as these rich churles wives For yf I cannot gnawe , a hard drye cruste Manie a daie , faste-out the tyme I muste . Iuste like to Tantalus it fares with mee For what I hunger-for I alwaies see . All what against him I d' e to saie , I ve saide Nowe queene I doe ymplore thy counsells ayde . I cannot gossipp it nor cann goe trymm Cause I want arte , to worke coine out from him . Tatling Gossippa here-at holdes hir tongue With praying maddam Will to right hir wronge . Silence beinge made , thus dame Will replies .

Wills sentence vppon the rich churle SVbiect quoth shee I've heard thy Iniuries And yf they all hee true which I did heare Then are they too too much for thee to beare For to vs women these thinges are moste Ill T' abate our prides , and to restraine our will If hee bee riche ; his harnes are full of graine Where hee one bushell sells , sell thou still twaine His swyne , sheepe , geese , henns , ducks , doe thou convaie I , sell his very shirtes but goe thou gaie , Of all men , hee vnworthy'st is of life That will not laste of all mistruste his wife . A nightes , faile not but pick the churles stuft purse Yf hee doth sware , I hope thy tongue cann curse But yf his barnes , purse , yarde , and all doe fayle Then to th' old vse put thou thy nimble tayle Lett that worke for thee ; for by that same waie Ther'e 's manie a woman makes hir selfe gaie That waie thou maiste the supple sattins ware That waie thou maiste feede on thee dainty'st fare Yf noe waie else thou canste make thy selfe trymm Then that waie , t is my will , thou punnish him Whoo 'd sweate and toyle for this same golden treasure When one maie gett it , with the sweetest pleasure Thou knowst my minde ; Gossippa , doe it then : Fare wenches cannot want , while there are men .

Diogynes makes himself knowne . AT th' end of which same sentence , all arose Where at my selfe to them I did disclose But er'e I did it , I did gett to'oth dore For had they caught me , they 'd haue vsd me sore : To hold me , eu'rye woman out did crie But being out theire reache awaie rann I : Gladd that I d'e seene and heard theire knauerye Nowe sir , I ve iustlie told , for what intent I like a woman amongst women went Yf you on theire behalfes haue ought to saie Sait'e some where else , or gett you hence awaie Allexander . TO what t hast ' saide , smale creditt I cann giue For I shall neuer made-be to beleeue That creatures halfe devine for glorious bewtie Should soe respectles be to man in dutie . Thinges eu'rye waie soe perfect faire in showe In virtues fullie perfect , are I knowe . Diogynes . THou knowst it ; doost ? awaie , thou art an else What canst thou knowe , that knowest not thy selfe The golden-skaled snake's , a louelie thinge Had not that glorious worme , a poysned stinge Of maides and wiues noe barrell better bee Would God made none , but what were spoke of mee . Allexander . WHy prithee speake ; howe manie wouldst haue then ? Diogines . FOr one halfe girle , tenn hundred thowsand men . Allexander . NOwe fie vppon thee ●ynnick , why dost bite And sett soe pure a thing , as woman light ? I am a shamd ' of thee ; doe what I can , I cannot think , thou art a perfect man I doe beleeue that thou at noe tyme haste That manlie heare , which causeth man to waste Thou art noe man ; for we'rt a man . I 'me sure A womans companie thou couldst endure . But saie , thou wert en forst vppon thy life To take thee to some one to be thy wife What kinde of woman-creature wouldst thou chuse Yf it were soe thou mighst ' it not refuse . Diogynes . BY hanginge , I de chuse rather end my life Then I d'e a woman haue , to be my wife But were it soe , that one I needes must haue And that I had noe waie , my selfe to saue Then all the world I de ' seeke , but I would fynd A woman for my wife , dumb , deafe , and blinde Besides ; yf I could possiblie prevaile I de seeke the world for one , without a taile Most men in bodie wasted are by wiues But such I' me sure , would proue restoritiues . Allexander . FIe man ; why what in women doost thou see That they soe much , distastefull are to thee . Diogynes . NOe more then thou maiste see , yf th' art not blind Why moste of them hudge gyantes are for minde Pride keepes hir faire in eache faire wantons face And Luste keepes in theire 〈…〉 markett place Revengefull Wrath theire furious tongues doth swaie . From labor , drowsie Sloath their handes doth staie In syns sweete-poysned Iuyce drunken thei le be And Envie others , drunken soe to see What see I not in them ? they are the Inns Wherein doth lodge those monstrous murdring synns . Allexander . FIe Cynnick , thou doste blowe too bitter aire On tender blossoms , which are sweetlie faire . Diogynes . YF shee be faire , and a sharpe-witted one And honeste too ; a Phenix she 'es alone . Who hath tenn Herculesses strengths in 's loines And with a faire sharpe-witted wanton Ioyns Shall be assurd the horne , on 's browe to fynd : Whoo 'l quench a wantons luste must quench the mind ; Th' are proude ; eache wench would bee an Allexander And by hir will , ouer a world commaunder . But yf not proude , nor lustfullie inclind Then eyther foole , or scold , of hir shalt fynd . Eyther of them , mans patience soe would alter As they would make him straight make vse at h halter , They are all naught , I cannot brooke em I ●ould I were Dea●e , then women all should die Allexander . NAie fie Cynnick thou railst too gennerall Thou muste not for some fewe condemn em all , Thou talkst , as yf thou wert noe womans sonn I would thou 'dst trauaild , but as I haue done : Although th' Athenians givn are to theire will And liue a life displeasinge ( hatefull ill ) Yet since my travaile , ( whe●● I haue beene ) Aboundance vertuous 〈◊〉 I haue seene . Diogynes . OH ya 'r a trauaylier ; praie are you soe ? Where you haue beene , black swanns you haue seene too Good trauayler the hearinge I will giue you But you shall giue me leaue not to beleeue you Women are naughte : I l'e talk noe more with thee And therefore naught , because women they bee . Allexander . OH straung ! yf Allexander heard but thee For womens sakes ( I 'me sure ) thou 'dst punnisht be . Diogynes . GOe telt ' him goe ; I doe as little care For him as thee ; let both doe what you dare . Tell me of him ? I feare him not a flie : I dread not might : Diogynes am I : Hee s but a man ; I l'e ne're fa●ne for mans grace What I haue saide , I l'e boldlie saye too 's face And wer 't , he were as badd as women bee I d'e bite the monnark to his face , shouldst see . Allexander . HE knowes thou wouldst in that I knowe the 〈◊〉 For I am hee : for this cause here I came To heare thy wittie bluntnes , and to see Whether thy sayings and thy deedes agree , Come Cynnick burne this tubb and followe me And vnto noble titles , Il●raise thee . Diogynes . THou wilt : but I will not : none can raise me ; I 'me in my tubb as greate a Kinge as th●e . Who holdes the world and it's vaine trash for flight He truelie conquers it , giue him his right : And soe doe I : therefore hudge Allexander I hold my selfe ( at h twaine ) the greatst commaunder I will not begg to rule and governe landes Onelie thy absence , I le begg at thy handes . I prethee pack thee hence and gett thee gone The companie still is best , where is but one . Goe seeke thee out an other world to wynn And putt the women of this world therein But let that world be farr enough ; and then Learning and virtue will encrease with men Naught else I haue to begg , graunt but this suite Then henceforth euer , shall my tongue rest mute . FINIS .