The schoole of abuse conteining a plesaunt [sic] inuectiue against poets, pipers, plaiers, iesters, and such like caterpillers of a co[m]monwelth; setting vp the hagge of defiance to their mischieuous exercise, [and] ouerthrowing their bulwarkes, by prophane writers, naturall reason, and common experience: a discourse as pleasaunt for gentlemen that fauour learning, as profitable for all that wyll follow virtue. By Stephan Gosson. Stud. Oxon.

¶ The Schoole of Abuse .

THE Syracusans vsed such varietie of dishes in theyr banquets , that when they were sette , and their boordes furnished , they were many times in doubt , which they shoulde touch first , or taste last . And in my opinion the worlde giueth euery writer so large a fielde to walke in , that before he setpenne to the booke , he shall find him selfe feasted at Syracusa , vncertaine where to begin , or when to end . This caused Pindarus too question with his Muse , whether he were better with his art to discifer the life of the Nimpe Melia , or Cadmus encounter with the Dragon , or the warres of Hercules , at the walles of Thebes , or Bacchus cuppes , or Venus iugling . Hee sawe so many turninges layde open to his feete , that hee knewe not which way to bende his pace .

Therfore as I cannot but commende his wisedome , whiche in banqueting feedes most vpon that , that doth nourish best ; so must I disprayse his methode in writing , which following the course of amarous Poets , dwelleth longest in those pointes , that profite least ; and like a wanton whelpe , leaueth the game , to runne riot . The Scarabe flies euer many a sweete flower , & lightes in a comshard : It is the custome of the flye to leaue the sound places of the Horse , and suck at the Botch : The nature of Colloquintida , to draw the worst humours too itselfe : The maner of swine , to forsake the fayre fieldes , and wallow in the myre : And the whole practise of Poets , eyther with fables to shew theyr abuses , or with plaine tearmes to vnfold theyr mischiefe , discouer theyr shame , discredit them selues , and disperse their poyson thorugh all the worlde . Virgill sweates in describyng his Gnat : Ouid hestirreth him to paintout his Flea : the one shewes his art in the lust of Dido , the other his cunning in the inceste of Myrrha , and that trumpet of Baudrie , the Craft of loue .

I must confesse that Poets are the whetstones of wit , notwithstanding that wit is dearly bonght : where hony and gall are mixed , it will be hard to seuer the one from the other . The deceitfull Phisition giueth sweete Syrropes to make his poyson goe downe the smoother : The Juggler casteth a myst to worke the closer : The Syrens song is the Saylers wrack : The Fowlers whistle , the birdes death : The wholesome bayte , the fishes bane : The Harpies haue Uirgins faces , and vultures Talentes : Hyena speakes like a friend , & deuoures like a Foe : The calmest Seas hide dangerous Rockes : the Woolfiettes in Weathers felles : Many good sentences are spoken by Dauus , to shadowe his knauery : and written by Poets , as ornamentes to beautifye their woorkes , and fette theyr trumperie too sale without suspect .

But if you looke well too Epaeus horse , you shall finde in his bowels the destruction of Troy : open the sepulchre of Semyramis , whose Title promiseth suche wealth to the Kinges of Persia , you shall see nothing but deade bones : Rippe vp the golden Ball , that Nero consecrated to Iupiter Capitollinus , you shall haue it stuffed with the shauinges of his Beard : pul off the visard that Poets maske in , you shall disclose their reproch , bewray their vanitie , loth their wantonnesse , lament their follie , and perceiue their sharpe sayings to be placed as Pearles in Dunghils , fresh pictures on rotten walles , chaste Matrons apparel on common Curtesans . These are the Cuppes of Circes , that turne reasonable Creatures into brute Beastes ; the balles of Hippomenes , that hinder the course of Atalanta ; and the blocks of the Diuel that are cast in our wayes , to cut off the rase of toward wittes . No marueyle though Plato shut them out of his Schoole , and banished them quite from his common wealth , as effeminate writers , vnprofitable members , and vtter enimies to vertue .

The Romans were verie desirous to imitate the Greekes , and pet verie loth to receiue their Poets : insomuch that Cato layth it in the dishe of Marcus the noble as a foule reproche , that in the time of his Consulshippe , hee brought Ennius the Poet into his prouince . Tullie accustomed to read them with great diligence in his youth , but when hee waxed grauer in studie , elder in yeares , riper in iudgement , hee accompted Tusc 1. 2. them the fathers of lyes , Pipes of vanitie , & Schooles of Abuse . Maximus Tyrius taketh vppon him to defend the discipline of these Doctors vnder the name of Homer , wresting the rashnes of Aiax , to valour ; the cowardice of Vlisses , to Policie ; the dotage of Nestor , to graue counsell ; and the battaile of Troy , too the woonderfull conflict of the foure Elementes : where Iuno which is counted the ayre , settes in her foote to take vp the strife , & steps boldly betwixt them to part the fray . It is a Pageant woorth the sight , to beholde how he labors with Mountaines to bring foorth Mise ; much like to some of those Players , that come to the scaffold with Drum & Trumpet to profer skirmishe , A desperate conflict . and when they haue sounded Allarme , off go the peeces to encounter a shadow , or conquere a Paper monster . You will smile I am sure if you read it , to see how this morall Philosopher toyles too draw the Lyons skin vpon Aesops Asse . Hercules shoes on a childes feete , amplyfying that which the more it is stirred , the more it stinkes ; the lesse it is talked of , the better it is liked ; & as waywarde children , the more they bee flatered , the worse they are ; or as curst sores with often touching waxe angry , & run the longer without healing . He attributeth the beginning of vertue to Minerua , of friendship to Venus , & the roote of all handy crafts to Vulcan ; but if he had broke his arme aswel as his legge , when he fel out of heauen into Lemnos , either Apollo must haue played the Bonesetter , or euery occupation beene laide a water . Plato when he sawe the doctrine of these Teachers , neither for Poets banished by Plato . profite , necessary , nor to be wished for pleasure , gaue them all Drummes entertainment , not suffering them once to shew their faces in a reformed common wealth . And the same Tyrius that layes such a foundation for Poets , in the name of Ho mer , cuerthrows his whole building in the person of Mithecus , which was an excellent Cooke among the Greekes , & asmuch honored for his confections , as Phidias for his caruing . But when he came to Sparta , thinking there for his running to be accounted a God , the good lawes of Licurgus , & custom of the country were to hot for his diet . The gouernors vanished him & his art , & al the inhabitants folowing the steppes of their Predecessors , vsed not with dainties to prouoke appetite , but with labour and trauell too whette their stomackes to their meate . I may well liken Homer to Mithecus , & Poets to Cookes Poetes and Cookes compared togither . the pleasures of the one winnes the body from labor , & conquereth the sense ; the allurement of the other drawes the mind from vertue , and confoundeth wit . As in euery perfect common wealth there ought to be good laws established , right mainteined , wrong repressed , vertue rewarded , vice punished , and all maner of abuses thoroughly purged : So ought there such schooles for the furtherance of the same to be aduaunced , that young men maye bee taught that in greene yeeres , that becomes them to practise in gray haires .

Anacharsis beeing demaunded of Poetrie in Scythia without vice , as the Phoenix in Arabia , without a fellow . a Greeke , whether they had not instrumentes of Musicke , or Schooles of Poetrie in Scythia , answered , yes , and that without vice , as though it were either impossible , or incredible , that no abuse should be learned where such lessons are taught , & such schooles mainteined .

Salust in describing the nurture of Sempronia , commendeth her witte in that shee coulde frame her selfe to all companies , too talke discretely with wyse men , and vaynely with wantons , taking a quip ere it came too grounde , and returning it back without a faulte . She was taught ( saith he ) both Greek and Latine , she coulde versifie , sing , and daunce , better then became an honest woman . Sappho was skilfull in Poetrie Qualities allowed in women . and sung wel , but she was whorish . I set not this downe too condemne the giftes of versifying , daunsing , or singyng in women , so they bee vsed with meane , & exercised in due tyme . But to shew you that as by Anacharsis report the Scythians did it without offence : so one Swalowe bringes not Sommer ; nor one particular example sufficient proofe for a generall precept . Whyte siluer , drawes a blacke lyne ; Fyre is as hurtfull , as healthie ; Water as daungerous , as it is commodious ; and these qualities as harde to bee wel vsed when we haue them , as they are to be learned before wee get them . Hee that goes to Sea , must sinel of the Ship ; and that sayles into Poets wil sauour of Pitch .

C. Marius in the assembly of the Salust . whole Senate at Rome , in a solemne oration , giueth an account of his bringing vp : he sheweth that he hath beene taught to lye on the ground , to suffer all weathers , to leade men , to strike his foe , to feare nothing but an euill name : and chalengeth praise vnto him selfe , in that hee neuer learned the Greeke tongue , neither ment to be instrucced in it heerafter , either that he thought it too farre a iorney to fetche learning beyonde the fielde , or because he doubted the abuses of those Schooles , where Poets were euer the head Maisters . Tiberius Poets thiefe Maistees in Greece . the Emperour same somewhat , when he iudged Scaurus to death for writing a Tragidie : Augustus , when hee banished Poets banished from Rome . Ouid : And Nero when he charged Lucan , to put vp his pipes , to stay his penne and write no more . Burrus and Seneca the schoolemaisters of Nero are flowted and hated of the people , for teaching their Scholer the song of Attis . For Dion saith , that the hearing Dion in vita Neronis . thereof wroonge laughter and teares from most of those that were then about him . Wherby I iudge that they scorned the folly of the teachers , and lamented the frenzie of the Scholer , who beeing Emperour of Rome , and bearing the weight of the whole common wealth vppon his shoulders , was easier to bee drawen to vanitie by wanton Poets , then to good gouernment by the fatherly counsell of graue Senators . They were condemned to dye by the lawes of the Heathens , which inchaunted the graine in other mens grounds : and are not they accursed thinke you by the mouth of God , which hauing the gouernment of young Princes , with Poetical fantasies draw them to the schooles of their owne abuses , bewitching the graine in the greene blade , that was sowed for the sustenance of many thousauds , & poisoning the spring with their amorous layes , whence the whole common wealth should fetch water ? But to leaue the scepter to Iupiter , and instructing of Princes to Plutarch and Xenophon , I will beare a lowe sayle , and rowe neere the shore , least I chaunce to bee carried beyonde my reache , or runne a grounde in those Coasts which I neuer knewe . My onely endeuour shal be to shew you that in a rough cast , which I see in a cloude , laking through my fingers .

And because I haue bene matriculated my selfe in the schoole , where so many abuses florish , I wil imitate the dogs of Aegypt , which comming to the bancks of Nylus too quenche their thirste , syp and away , drinke running , lest they bee snapte short for a pray too Crocodiles . I shoulde tel tales out of the Schoole , and bee Ferruled for my faulte , or byssed at for a blab , yf I layde al the orders open before your eyes . You are no sooner entred , but libertie looseth the reynes , and geues you head , placing you with Poetrie in the lowest forme : when his skill is showne too make his Scholer as good as euer twangde , hee preferres you too Pyping , from Pyping to playing , from play to pleasure , from pleasure to slouth , from slouth too sleepe , from sleepe too sinne , from sinne to death , from death to the deuill , if you take your learniug apace , and passe through euery forme without reuolting . Looke not too haue mee discourse these at large , the Crocodile watcheth to take me tardie , which soeuer of them I touche , is a byle : Trype and goe , for I dare not tarry .

Heraclides accounteth Amphyon the ringleader of Poets and Pypers : Delphus Philammones penned the birth of Latona , Diana , & Apollo in verse ; and taught the people to Pype & Daunce rounde about the Temple of Delphos , Hesiodus was as cunning in Pyping , as in Poetrie : so was Terpandrus , and after him Clonas . Apollo which is honoured of Poets as the God of their Art , had at the one side of his Idol in Delos a Bowe , and at the other , the three Graces with three sundrie instruments , of which one was a pype , and some writers affirme that he pyped himselfe now and than .

Poetrie and pyping , haue allwaies bene so vnited togither , that til the time Plutarch . of Melanippides , Pipers were Poets hyerlings . But marke I pray you , how they are nowe both abused .

The right vse of auncient Poetrie Olde Poets , was too haue the notable exploytes of woorthy Captaines , the holesome councels of good fathers , and vertuous liues of predecessors set downe in numbers , and song to the Instrument at solemne feastes , that the sound of the one might dram the hearers from kissing the cupp too often ; the sense of the other put them in minde of things past , and chaulk out the way to do the like . After this maner were the Baeotians trained from rudenesse to ciuilitie , The Lacedaemonians instructed by Tyrteaeus verse , The Argiues by the melody of Telesilla , And the Lesbians by Alcaeus Ddes .

To this end are instruments vsed in battaile , not to tickle the eare , but ton teach euery souldier when to strike and when to stay . when to flye , and when to followe . Chiron by singing to his instrument , Ilom●● . quencheth Achiles furye : Terpandrus with his notes , layeth the tempest , and pacifies the tumult at Lacedaemon : Homer with his Musicke cured the sick Souldiers in the Grecians campe , and purged euery mans Tent of the Plague . Thinke you that those miracles coulde bee wrought with playing of Daunces , Dumpes , Pauins , Galiardes , Measures Fancyes , or new streynes ? They neuer came wher this grewe , nor knew what it ment .

Pythagoras bequeathes them a Clookebagge , and condemnes them for fooles , that iudge Musicke by sounde and eare . If you will bee good Scholers , and profite well in the Arte of Musicke , shutte your Fidels in their cases , and looke vp to heauen : the order of the Spheres , the vnfallible motion of the Planets , the iuste course of the yeere , and varietie of seasons , the concorde of the Elementes and their qualyties , Fyre , Water , Ayre , Earth , Heate , Colde , Moysture and Drought concurring togeather to the constitution of earthly bodies and sustenance of euery creature .

The politike Lawes , in well gouerned common wealthes , that treade True Muficke . downe the prowde , and vpholde the meeke , the loue of the King & his subiectes , the Father and his childe , the Lorde and his Slaue , the Maister and his Man , The Trophees and Triumphes of oure auncestours , which pursued vertue at the hardeheeles , and shunned vyce as a rocke for feare of shipwracke , are excellent maisters too shewe you that this is right Musicke , this perfecte harmony . Chiron when hee appeased the wrath of Achilles , tolde him the duetie of a good souldier , repeated the vertues of his father Peleus , and sung the famous euterprises of noble men . Terpandrus when he ended the brabbles at Lacedaemon , neyther pyped Rogero nor Turkelony , but reckoning vp the commodities of friendeship and fruites of debate , putting them in mind of Lycurgus lawes , taught them too treade a better measure . When Homers muūcke droue the pestilence from the Grecians camp , there was no such vertue in his penne , nor in his pipe , but if I might bee vmpier , in the sweet harmony of diuerse natures & wonderful concord of sundry medicines . For Apolloes cunning excendeth it self aswel to Phisick , as musick or Poetrie . And Plutarch reporteth that as Chiron was a wise man , a learned Poet , a skilful Musition , so was hee also a teacher of iustice , by shewing what Princes ought to doe , and a Reader of Phisicke , by opening the natures of manie simples . If you enquire howe manie suche Poetes and Pipers wee haue in our Age , I am perswaded that euerie one of them may creepe through a ring , or daunce the wilde Morice in a Needles eye . We haue infinite Poets , and Pipers , and suche peeuishe cattel among vs in Englande , that liue by merrie begging , mainteyned by almes , and priuily encroch vppon euerie mans purse . But if they that are in authoritie , and haue the sworde in their handes to cut off abuses , shoulde call an accompt to see how many Chirons , Terpandri , and Homers are heere , they might cast the summe without pen , or counters , and sit downe with Racha , to weepe for her Children , because they were not . He that compareth our instruments , with those that were vsed in ancient times , shall see them agree like Dogges & Cattes , and meete as tump as Germans lippes . Terpandrus and Olimpus vsed instruments of 7. strings . And Plutarch is of opinion that the instruments of 3. strings , with were vsed before their time , passed al that haue followed since . It was an old law & long kept that no man should according to his owne humor , adde or diminish , in matters concerning that Art , but walk in the pathes of their predecessors . But when newfangled Phrynis becam a fidler , being somwhat curious in carping , & searching for moats with a pair of blearde eies , thought to amend his maisters , & marred al. Timotheus a bird of the same broode , & a right hound of the same Hare , toke the 7. stringed harp , that was altogether vsed in Terpandrus time , & increaced the num these abuses in the compasse of that countrey : but like vnto yll weedes in time spread so far , that they choked the good grayne in euery place .

For as Poetrie & Piping are Cosen germans : so piping , and playing are of great affinity , and all three chayned in linkes of abuse .

Plutarch complaineth , that ignorant men , not knowyng the maiestie of auncient musick , abuse both the eares of the people , and the Arte it selfe : with bringing sweete consortes into Theaters , which rather effeminate the minde , as pricks vnto vice , then procure amendement of manners , as spurres to vertue . Ouid the high martial of Venus fielde planteth his maine battell in publique assemblies , sendeth out his scoutes too Theaters to descry the enimie , and in steede of vaunte Curriers , with instruments of musicke , playing , singing , and dauncing , geues the first charge . Maximus Tyrius holdeth it for a Maxime , that the bringing of instruments to Theaters & plaies , was the first cup that poisoned the common weaith . They that are borne in Seriphos , & cockered continually in those Illandes , where they see nothing but Foxes , & Hares , wil neuer be persuaded that there are huger beastes : They that neuer went out of the champions in Brabant , will hardly conceiue what rockes are in Germany . And they that neuer goe out of their houses , for regard of their credit , nor steppe from the vniuersitye for loue of knowledge , seeing but slender offences & small abuses within their owne walles , wil neuer beleeue that such rockes are abrode , nor such horrible monsters in playing places . But as ( I speake the one to my comforte , the other to my shame , and remember both with a forrowfull hart ) I was first instructed in the vniuersity , after drawne like a nouice to these abuses : so wil I shew you what I see , & informe you what I reade of such affaires . Ouid sayth , that Romulus builte his Theater as a horse faire for hores , made Triumphes , & set out playes to gather the fayre women togither , that euery one of his sonldiers might take where he liked , a snatch for his share : whervppon the Amarous Scholemaister bursteth out in these words :

Romule , militibus solus dare praemia nosti : Haec mihi si dederis commoda , miles ero . Thou Romulus alone knowest how thy souldiers to rewarde : Graunt me the like , my selfe will be attendant on thy garde .

It should seeme that the abuse of such places was so great , that for any chaste liuer to haunt them was a black swan , & a white crowe . Dion so straightly forbiddeth the ancient families of Rome & gentlewomen that tender their name & honor , to come to Theaters , & rebuks then so sharply , when he takes then napping , that if they be but once seene there , hee iudgeth it sufficient cause to speake il of them & thinke worse . The shadowe of a knaue hurts an honest man : the sent of the stewes a sober matron : and the shew of Theaters a simple gaser . Clitomachus the wrestler geuen altogether to manly exercise , if hee had hearde any talke of loue , in what company soeuer he had bin , would forsake his seat , & bid them adue .

Lacon when hee sawe the Atheniens studie so muche to set out Playes , sayde they were madde . If men for good exercise , and women for theyr credite , ve shut from Theaters , whom shal we suffer to goe thither ? Litle children ? Plutarch with a caueat keepeth them out , not so much as admitting the litle crackhalter that carrieth his maisters pantouffles , to set foote within those doores : And alledgeth this reason , that those wanton spectacles of lyght huswiues , drawing gods from the heauens , & young men from them selues to shipwracke of honestie , will hurte them more , than if at the Epicures table , they had nigh burst their guts with ouer feeding . For if the body bee ouercharged , it may bee holpe ; but the surfite of the soule is hardly cured . Here I doubt not Obiection . but some Archplayer or other that hath read alitle , or stumbled by chance vpon Plautus comedies , wil cast me aboue or ii . to pick , saying , that whatsoeuer these ancient writers haue spoken against plaies is to bee applied too the abuses in olde Comedies , where Gods are broughte in , as Prisoners too beautie , rauishers of Uirgins , and seruantes by loue , too earthly creatures . But the Comedies that are exercised in oure daies are better sifted . They shewe no such branne : The first smelte of Plautus , these tast of Menander ; the lewdenes of Gods , is altred and chaunged to the loue of young men ; force , to friendshippe ; rapes , too mariage ; wooing allowed by assurance of wedding ; priuie meetinges of bachelours and maidens on the stage , not as murderers that deuour the good name ech of other in their mindes , but as those that desire to bee made one in hearte . Nowe are the abuses of the worlde reuealed , euery man in a play may see his owne faultes , and learne by this glasse , to amende his manners . Curculio may chatte til his heart ake , ere any be offended with his gyrdes . Deformities are checked in ieast , and mated in earnest . The sweetenesse of musicke , and pleasure of sportes , temper the bitternesse of rebukes , and mittigate the tartenesse of euery taunt according to this .

Omne vafer vitium ridenti Flaccus amico Narrat , & admissus circum p̄cordia ludit . Flaccus among his friends , with fauning Muse Doth nip him neere , that fostreth foule abuse .

Therefore they are either so blinde , that they cannot , or so blunt , that they will not see why this exercise shoulde ●●●●were . not be suffered as a profitable recreation . For my parte I am neither so fonde a Phisition , nor so bad a Cooke , but I can allowe my patient a cup of wine to meales , although it be hotte ; and pleasaunt sauces to driue downe his meate , if his stomake hee queasie . Notwithstanding , if people will bee instructed , ( God be thanked ) wee haue Diuines enough to discharge that , and moe by a great many , then are well harkened to : yet sith these abuses are growne too head , and sinne so rype , the number is lesse then I would it were .

Euripides holdes not him onely a foole , that beeing well at home , wil gad abrode , that hath a Conduite within doore , and fetcheth water without : but all suche beside , as haue sufficient in them selues , to make them selues merry with pleasaunte talke , tending too good , and mixed with 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 the Grecians glee , yet will they seeke when they neede not , to bee sported abrode at playes and Pageauntes . Plutarch likeneth the recreation that is gotte by conference , too a pleasaunt banquet ; the sweet pappe of the one sustaineth the body , the sauery doctrine of the other doth nourish the minde : and as in banquetting , the wayter standes ready too fill the Cuppe : So in all our recreations we shoulde haue an instructer at our elbowes to feede the soule . If wee gather Grapes among thistles , or seeke for this foode at Theaters , wee shall haue a harde pyttaunce , and come to shorte commons . I cannot thinke that Cittie to be safe , that strikes downe her Percollices , rammes vp her gates , and suffereth the enimie to enter the posterne . Neyther wil I be perswaded , that he is any way likely to conquer affection , which breaketh his instrumentes , burneth all his Poets , abandons his haunt , mufleth his eyes as he passeth the streate , and resortes too Theaters too bee assaulted . Cookes did neuer shewe more crafte in their iunckets to vanquish the taste , nor Painters in shadowes to allure the eye , then Poets in Theaters to wounde the conscience .

There setchey abroche straunge consortes of melody , to tickle the eare ; costly apparel , to flatter the sight ; effeminate gesture , to rauish the sence ; and wanton speache , to whet desire too inordinate lust . Therefore of both barrelles , I iudge Cookes and Painters the better hearing , for the one extendeth his arte no farther then to the tongue , palate , and nose , the other to the eye ; and both are ended in outwarde sense , which is common too vs with bruite beasts . But these by the priuie entries of the eare , slip downe into the hart , & with gunshotte of affection gaule the minde , where reason and vertue should rule the roste . These people in Rome were as pleasant as Nectar at the first beginning , & cast out for lees , when their abuses were knowen . They whome Caesar vpheld , were driuen out by Octauian : whom Caligula reclaimed , were cast of by Nero : whom Neruä exalted , were throwne downe by Traian : whom Anthony admitted , were expelled againe , pestred in Gallies & sent into Hellespont by Marcus Aurelius . But when the whole rabble of Poets , Pipers , Players , Jugglers , Jesters , & dauncers were receiued againe , Rome was reported to bee fuller of fooles then of wise men . Domitian suffered playing & dauncing so long in Theaters , that Paris led the Domitia was the first wife of Domitian , and Messalina , the seconde . shaking of sheetes with Domitia , and Mnester the Trenchmour with Messalina . Caligula made so muche of Players and Dauncers , that hee suffered them openly to kysse his lyppes , Dion . when the Senators might scarce haue a lick at his feete : He gaue Dauncers great stipends for selling their hopps : & placed Apelles the player by his own sweete side : Besides that you may see what excellent graue men were euer about him , he loued Prasinus the Cochman so wel , that for good wil to the master , he bid his horsetosupper , gaue him wine to drink in cups of estate , set barly graines of golde before him to eate , and swore by no bugs , that hee would make him a Consul : which thing ( saith Dion ) had bin performed , had hee not bin preuented by suddain death . For as his life was abhominable , so was his end miserable : Comming from dancing & playing , he was slaine by Chaerea , a iust rewarde , and a fit Catastrophe , I haue heard some Players vaunt of the credit they had in Rome , but they are as foolish in that , as Vibius Rufus which bosted himself to be an Emperor because hee had sit in Caesars chaire , & a perfect Orator , because hee was marryed to Tullies widowe . Better might they say them selues to be murderers , because they haue represented the persons of Thyestes and Atreus , Achilles & Hector : or perfect Limme lifters , for teaching the trickes of euery Strumpet . Such are the abuses that I reade of in Rome : such are the Caterpillers that haue devoured and blasted the fruite of Aegypt : Such are the Dragons that are hurtful in Affricke : Such are the Adders that sting with pleasure , and kil with paine : and such are the Basiliskes of the world , that poyson , as well with the beame of their sighte , as with the breath of their mouth .

Consider with thy selfe ( gentle Reader ) the olde discipline of Englande , mark what we were before , & what we are now : Leaue Rome a while , and cast thine eye backe to thy Predecessors , and tell mee howe woonderfully wee haue beene chaunged , since wee were schooled with these abuses . Dion sayth , Matters of England in olde time , that english men could suffer watching and labor , hunger & thirst , and beare of al stormes with hed and shoulders , they vsed slender weapons , went naked , and were good soldiours , they fed vppon rootes and barkes of trees , they would stand vp to the chin many dayes in marishes without victualles : and they had a kind of sustenaunce in time of neede , of which if they had taken but the quantitie of a beane , or the weight of a pease , they did neyther gape after meate , nor long for the cuppe , a great while after . The men in valure not yeelding to Scithia , Olde exercise of England . the women in courage passing the Amazons . The exercise of both was shootyng and darting , running & wrestling , and trying suche maisteries , as eyther consisted in swiftnesse of feete , agilitie of body , strength of armes , or Martiall discipline . But the exercise New England that is nowe among vs , is banqueting playing , pipyng , and dauncing , and all suche delightes as may win vs to pleasure , or rocke vs a sleepe .

Oh what a woonderfull chaunge is this ? Our wreastling at armes , is turned to wallowyng in Ladies laps , our courage , to cowardice , our running to ryot , our Bowes into Bolles , and our Dartes to Dishes . We haue robbed Greece of Gluttonie , Italy of wantonnesse , Spaine of pride , Fraunce of deceite , and Dutchland of quaffing . Compare London to Rome , & England to Italy , you shall finde the Theaters of the one , the abuses of the other , to be rife among vs . Experto crede , I haue seene somewhat , and therefore I thinke may say the more . In Rome when Plaies or Pageants are showne : Ouid chargeth his Pilgrims , to crepe close to the Saintes , whom they serue , and shew their double diligence to lifte the Gentlewomens roabes from the grounde , for soyling in the duste ; to sweepe Moates from their Kirtles , to keepe their fingers in vre ; to lay their hands at their backes for an easte stay ; to looke vppon those , whome they beholde ; too prayse that , whiche they commende ; too lyke euerye thing , that pleaseth them ; to presente them Pomegranates , to picke as they syt ; and when all is done , to waite on them mannerly too their houses . In our assemblies at playes in London , you shall see suche heauing , and shoouing , suche ytching and shouldring , too sitte by women ; Suche care for their garments , that they bee not trode on : Such eyes to their lappes , that no chippes light in them : Such pillowes to ther backes , that they take no hurte : Such masking in their eares , I knowe not what : Such giuing them Pippins to passe the time : Suche playing at foote Saunt without Cardes : Such ticking , such toying , such smiling , such winking , and such manning them home , when the sportes are ended , that it is a right Comedie , to marke their behauiour , to watche their conceites , as the Catte for the Mouse , and as good as a course at the game it selfe , to dogge them a little , or followe aloofe by the print of their feete , and so discouer by ●●●tte where the Deare taketh soyle . If this were as well noted , as ill seene : or as openly punished , as secretly practised : I haue no doubte but the cause would be seared to dry vp the effect , and these prettie Rabbets very cunningly ferretted from their borrowes . For they that lack Customers al the weeke , either because their haunte is vnknowen , or the Constables and Officers of their Parishe , watch them so narrowly , that they dare not queatche ; To celebrate the Sabboth , flock to Theaters , and there keepe a generall Market of Bawdrie : Not that any filthynesse in deede , is committed within the compasse of that grounde , as was doone in Rome , but that euery wanton and his Paramour , euery man and his Mistresse , euery John and his Joan , euery knaue and his queane , are there first acquainted & cheapen the Merchandise in that place , which they-pay for elsewhere as they can agree . These wormes when they dare not nestle in the Pescod at home , finde refuge abrode and are hidde in the eares of other mens Corne . Euery Uawter in one blinde Tauerne or other , is Tenant at will , to which shee colleth resorte , and playes the stale to vtter their victualls , and helpe them to emptie their mustie raskes . There is she so intreated with wordes , and receiued with curtesie , that euery back roome in the house is at her commaundement . Some that haue neither land to maintaine them ; nor good occupation to get their breade , desirous to strowt it with the beste , yet disdayning too liue by the sweate of their browes , haue found out this cast of Ledgerdemayne , to play fast & loose among their neighbours . If any parte of Musick haue suffred shipwrack , and ariued by fortune at their fingers endes , with shewe of gentilitie they take vp faire houses , receiue lusty lasses at a price for boorders , and pipe from morning to euening for wood and coale . By the brothers , cosens , vncles , great grandsires , and suche like acquaintaunce of their ghestes , they drink of the best , they sit rente free , they haue their owne Table spreade to their handes , without wearing the strings of their pursse , or any thing else , but housholde and honestie . When reforte so increaseth that they growe in suspition , and the pottes which are sent so often too the Tauerne , gette such a knock before they come home , that they returne their Mayster a crack to his credite : Though hee bee called in question of his life , hee hath shiftes inoughe to auoyde the blanke . If their houses bee searched , some instrumente of Musick is layde in sighte to dazell the eyes of euery Officer , and all that are lodged in the house by night , or frequente it by day , come thither as pupilles to be well schoolde . Other ther are which beeing so knowen that they are the bywoorde of euery mans mouth , and pointed at commonly as they passe the streetes , either couch them selues in Allyes , or blind Lanes , or take sanctuary in fryeries , or liue a mile from the Cittie like Venus Nunnes in a Cloyster at Newington , Ratliffe , Islington , Hogsdon or some such place , where like penitents , they deny the worlde , and spende theyr dayes in double deuotion . And when they are weery of contemplation to comfort themselnes , and renue their acquaintaunce , they visit Theaters , where they make full account of a pray before they departe . Solon made no lawe for Parricides , because he feared that hee shoulde rather put men in minde to commit such offences , then by any straunge punishment , giue them a bitte to keepe them vnder . And I intende not to shewe you al that I see , nor halfe that I heare of these abuses , lest you iudge me more wilfull to teach them , then willing to forbid them .

I looke still when Players shoulde cast me their Gauntlets , and challenge a combate for entring so far into their possessions , as though I made them Lords of this misrule , or the very scholmaisters of these abuses : though the best Clarkes bee of that opinion , they heare not me say so . There are more houses then Parishe Churches , more maydes then Maulkin , more wayes to the woode then one , and more causes in nature then Efficients . The Carpenter rayseth not his frame without tooles , nor the Deuill his woork without instrumentes : were not Players the meane , to make these assemblyes , such multitudes wold hardly be drawne in so narowe roome . They seeke not to hurte , but desire too please : they haue purged their Comedyes of wanton speaches , yet the Corne whiche they sell , is full of Cockle : and the drinke that they drawe , ouercharged with dregges . There is more in them then we perceiue , the Deuill standes at our elbowe when we see not , speaks , when we heare him not , strikes when wee feele not , and woundeth sore when he raseth no skinne , nor rentes the fleshe . In those thinges , that we least mistrust , the greatest daunger dooth often lurke . The Countryeman is more affrayde of the Serpente that is hid in the grasse , then the wilde beaste that openly feeds vpon the mountains : The Marriner is more indaungered by priuie shelues , then knowen Rockes ; The Souldler is sooner killed with a little Bullet , then a longe Swoorde ; There is more perill in close Fistoloes , then outwarde sores ; insecret ambushe , then maine battels ; in vndermining , then playne assaulting ; in friends then foes ; in ciuill discorde , then forraine warres . Small are the abuses , and sleight are the faultes , that nowe in Theaters escape the Poets pen : But cal Cedars , from little graynes shoote high : great Okes , from slender rootes spread wide : Large streames , from narrowe springes runne farre : One little sparke , fyers a whole Citie : One dramme of Eleborus ransackes euery vaine : The Fish Remora hath a small body , and greate force too staye shippes against winde and tide : Ichneumon a litle worme , ouercomes the Elephant : The Uiper slayes the Bul : The Weesell the Cockatrice : And the weakest Waspe , stingeth the stoutest manne of warre . The height of Heauen , is taken by the staffe : The bottome of the Sea , sounded with lead : The farthest coast , discouered by Compasse : the secretes of nature , searched by witte : the Anatomy of man , set out by experience : But the abuses of plaies cannot be showen , because they passe the degrees of the instrument , reach of the Plummet , sight of the minde , and for trial are neuer brought to the touchstone . Therefore he that will auoyde the open shame of pryuy sinne , the common plague of priuate offences , the greate wracks of little Rocks ; the sure disease of vncertaine causes ; must set hande to the sterne , and eye to his steppes , to shunne the occasion as neere as he can : neither running to bushes for renting his clothes , nor rent his clothes for imparing his thrift ; nor walke vpon Yse , for taking a fall , nor take a fall for brusing him selfe ; nor goe too Theaters for beeing allured , nor once bee allured for feare of abuse .

Bunduica a notable woman and a Queene of Englande , that tyme that Nero was Emperour of Rome , hauing some of the Romans in garrison heere against her , in an Oration which she made to her subiects , seemed vtterly to contemne their force , and laugh at their folly . For shee accounted them vnwodrthy the name of men , or title of Souldiers , because they were smoothly appareled , soft lodged , daintely feasted , bathed in warme waters , rubbed with sweet oyntments , strewd with fine poulders , wine swillers , singers , Dauncers , and Players . God hath now blessed The Queenes Maiestie . England with a Queene , in vertue excellent , in power mightie , in glorye renowmed , in gouernmente politike , in possession rich , breaking her foes with the bent of her brow , ruling her subiects with shaking her hand , remouing debate by diligent foresight , filling her chests with the fruites of peace , ministring iustice by order of law , reforming abuses with great regarde : & bearing her sword so euen , that neither the poore are trod vnder foote , nor the rich suffred to loke too hye , nor Rome , nor France , nor Tyrant , nor Turke , dare for their liues too enter the List. But wee vnworthy seruants of so mild a Mistresse , vnnatural children of so good a mother , vnthankful subiects of so louing a prince , wound her royall hart with abusing her lenitie , and stir Iupiter to anger to send vs a Storke that shal deuoure vs . Now often hath her Maiestie with the graue aduise of her honorable Councell , sette downe the limits of apparell to euery degree , and how soone againe hath the pride of our harts ouerflowen the chanel ? How many times hath accesse to Theaters beene restrayned , and how boldly againe haue we reentred ? Ouerlashing in apparel is so common a fault , that the very hyerlings ofsome of our Players , Players men . which stand at reuersion of vi . s , by the weeke , iet vnder Gentlemens noses in sutes of silke , exercising themselues too prating on the stage , & common scoffing when they come abrode , where they look askance ouer the shoulder at euery man , of whom the sunday before they begged an almes . I speake not this , as though euerye one that professeth the qualitie so abused him selfe , for it is well knowen , that some of them are sober , discreets , properly learned honest housholders Some Players modest , if I bee not deceined . and Citizens well thonght on amonge their neighbours at home , though the pryde of their shadowes ( I meane those hangebyes whome they succour with stipend ) cause them to bee somewhat il talked of abroade . And as some of the Players are farre from abuse : so some of their Playes are without rebuke : which are as easily remembred as quickly reckoned . The twoo Some Playes tollerable at sometyme . prose Bookes plaied at the Belsauage , where you shall finde neuer a woorde without wit , neuer a line without pith , neuer a letter placed in vaine . The Iew & Ptolome , showne at the Bull , the one representing the greedinesse of worldly chusers , and bloody mindes of Usurers : The other very liuely discrybing howe seditious estates , with their owne deuises , false friendes , with their owne swoordes , & rebellious commons in their owne snares are ouerthrowne : neither with Amorous gesture wounding the eye : nor with slouenly talke hurting the eares of the chast hearers . The Blacke Smiths daughter , & Catilins conspiracies vsually brought in to the Theater : The firste contayning the trechery of Turkes , the honourable bountye of a noble minde , & the shining of vertue in distresse : The last , bicause it is knowen too be a Pig of myne owne Sowe , I will speake the lesse of it ; onely giuing you to vnderstand , that the whole marke which I shot at in that woorke , was too showe the rewarde of traytors in Catilin , and the necessary gouernment of learned men , in the person of Cicero , which forsees euery danger that is likely to happen , and forstalles it continually ere it take effect . Therfore I giue these Playes the commendation , that Maximus Tyrius gaue too Homers works : 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 .

These Playes are good playes and sweete playes , and of al playes the best playes and most to be liked , woorthy to bee soung of the Muses , or set out with the cunning of Roscius himself , yet ate they not fit for euery mans dyet : neither ought they commonly to bee shewen . Playes are not to be made common . Now if any man aske me why my selfe haue penned Comedyes in time paste , & inueigh so egerly against them here , let him knowe that Semelinsaniuimus omnes : I haue sinned , and am sorry for my fault : hee runnes farre that neuer turnes , better late then neuer . I gaue my self to that exercise in hope to thriue but I burnt one candle to seek another , and lost bothe my time and my trauell , when I had doone .

Thus sith I haue in my voyage suffred wrack with Vlisses , and wringing-wet scambledwith life to the shore , stand from mee Nausicaä with all thy traine , till I wipe the blot from my forhead , and with sweet springs wash away the salt froath that cleaues too my soule .

Meane time if Players bee called to accounte for the abuses that growe by their assemblyes , I would not haue them to answere , as Pilades did for the Theaters of Rome , when they were complayned on , and Augustus waxed Dion in vita Augusti . angry : This resort O Caesar is good for thee , for heere we keepe thousandes of idle heds occupyed , which elseperaduēture would brue some mischiefe . A fit Cloude co couer their abuse , & not vnlike to the starting hole that Lucinius found , who like a greedy surueiour , beeing sente into Fraunce to gouerne the Countrie , robbed them and spoyled them of all their Treasure with vnreasonable taskes : at the last when his crueltie was so loudely cryed out on , that euery man hearde it ; and all his packing Players compared to Lucinius . did sauour so strong , that Augustus smelt it ; he brought the good Emperour into his house , flapped him in the mouth with a smoth lye , and tolde him that for his sake & the safetie of Rome , hee gathered those riches , the better to impouerish the Countrie for rysing in Armes , and so holde the poore Frenchmennes Noses to the Grindstone for euer after .

A bad excuse is better , they say then none at all . Hee , because the Frenchmen paid tribute euery moneth , into xitti . Moneths deuided the yeere : These because they are allowed to play euery Sunday , make iiii . or v. Sundayes at least euery weeke , and all that is doone is good for Augustus , to busy the wittes of his people , for running a wolgathering , and to emptie their purses for thriuing to fast . Though Lucinius had the cast to playster vppe his credite with the losse of his money : I trust that they which haue the swoorde in their hands among vs to pare away this putryfied flesh , are sharper sighted , and will not so easily be deluded .

Marcus Aurelius sayth , That players Epist. 12. ad Lambertum . falling from iuste labour to vniuste idlenesse , doe make more trewandes , and ill husbands , then if open Schooles of vnthrifts & Uagabounds were kept . Who soeuer readeth his Epistle too Lambert the gouernor of Hellespont , when Players were banished , shall find more against them in plainer tearmes , then I willl vtter .

This haue I setdowne of the abuses of Poets , Pypers , and Players which bringe vs too pleasure , slouth , sleepe , sinne , and without repentaunce to death and the Deuill : which I haue not confirmed by authoritie of the Scriptures , because they are not able to stand vppe in the sighte of God : and sithens they dare not abide the field , where the word of God dooth bidde them battayle , but runne to Antiquityes ( though nothing be more ancient then holy Scriptures ) Scriptures too hoate fo● Players . I haue giuen them a volley of prophane writers to beginne the skirmishe , and doone my indeuour to beate them from their holdes with their owne weapons . The Patient that will be cured , of his owne accorde , must seeke the meane : if euery man desire to saue one , and drawe his owne feete from Theaters , it shall preuayle as much against these abuses , as Homers Moly against Witchcraft , or Plynies Peristerion against the byting of Dogges .

God hath armed euery creature agaynst his enemie : The Lyon with pawes , the Bul with hornes , the Bore with tuskes , the Uulture with tallents , Hartes , Hindes , Hares , and such like , with swiftnes of feete , because they are fearefull , euery one of them putting his gift in practise ; But man which is Lord of the whole earth , for whose seruice herbes , trees , rootes , plants , fish , soule & beasts of the fielde were first made , is far worse then the brute beasts : for they endewed but with sence , doe Appetere salutaria , & declinare noxia , seeke that which helpes them , and forsake that which hurtes them .

Man is enriched with reason and knowledge : with knowledge , to serue his maker and gouerne himselfe ; with reason to distinguish good and il , & chose the best , neither referring the one to the glory of God , nor vsing the other to his owne profite . Fire and Ayre mount vpwards , Corporanaturalia ad locum mouentur , & in suis sedibus acquiaescunt . Earth and Water sinke downe , & euery insensible body else , neuer rests , til it bring it self to his owne home . But we which haue both sense , reason , wit , and understanding , are euer ouerlashing , passing our boundes , going beyonde our limites , neuer keeping our selues Man vnmindful of his ende . within compasse , nor once loking after the place from whence we came , and whither we muste in spighte of our hartes .

Aristotle thinketh that in greate Hi. Anima● . windes , the Bees carry little stones in their mouthes too peyse their bodyes , least they bee carryed away , or kepte from their Hiues , vnto which they desire to returne with the fruites of their labour . The Crane is said to rest vpon one leg , and holding vp the other , keepe a Pebble in her clawe , which as sone as the senses are bound by approch of sleepe , falles to the ground , & with the noise of the knock against the Earth , makes her awake , whereby shee is euer redy to preuent her enemies . Geese are foolish birdes , yet when they flye ouer the mount Taurus , they shew greate wisedome in their own defence : for they stop their pipes full of grauel to auoide gagling , & so by silence escape the Eagles . Woodcocks , though they lack witte to saue them selues , yet they want not will to auoyde hurte , when they thrust theyr heades in a Bushe , and thinke their bodyes out of daunger . But wee which are so brittle , that we breake with euery fillop ; so weake , that wee are drawne with euery threade ; so light , that wee are blowen away with euery vlaste ; so vnsteady , that we slip in euery ground ; neither peyse our bodyes againste the winde , nor stand vppon one legge , for sleeping too much : nor close vppe our lippes for betraying our selues , nor vse any witte , to garde our owne persons , nor shewe our selues willing too shunne our owne harmes , running most greedily to those places , where we are soonest ouerthrowne .

I cannot lyken our affection better than to an Arrowe , which getting lybertie , with winges is carryed beyonde our reach ; kepte in the Quiuer , it is still at commaundement : Or to a Dogge , let him slippe , he is straight out of sight , holde him in the Lease , hee neuer stirres : Or to a Colte , giue him the bridle , he flinges aboute ; raine him hard , & you may rule him : Or to a ship , hoyst the sayles it runnes on head ; let fall the Ancour , all is well : Or to Pandoraes boxe , lift vppe the lidde , out flyes the Deuill ; shut it vp fast , it cannot hurt vs .

Let vs but shut vppe our eares to Poets , Pypers and Players , pull our feete back from resort to Theaters , and turne away our eyes from beholding of vanitie , the greatest storme of abuse will be ouerblowen , and a fayre path troden to amendment of life . Were not we so foolish to taste euery drugge , and buy euery trifle , Players would shut in their shoppes , and carry their trashe to some other Countrie .

Themistocles in setting a peece of his ground to sale , among all the commodyties whiche were reckoned vppe , straightly charged the Cryer to proclaime this , that hee which bought it , should haue a good neighbour . If Players can promise in woordes , and performe it in deedes , proclame it in their Billes , and make it good in Theaters ; that there is nothing there noysome too the body , nor hurtfull to the soule : and that euerye one which comes to buye their Iestes , shall hane an honest neighbour , tagge and ragge , cutte and longe tayle , goe thither and spare not , otherwise I aduise you to keepe you thence , my selfe will beginne too leade the daunce .

I make iuste reckoning to bee helde for a Stoike , in dealing so hardely with these people : but all the Keyes hang not at one mans girdle , neither doe these open the lockes to all abuses . There are othe which haue a share with them in their Schooles , therefore ought they to daunce the same Rounde : and bee partakers together of the same rebuke : Fencers , Dycers , Dauncers , Tumbles , Carders , and Bowlers .

Dauncers and Tumblers , because they are dumbe Players , and I haue Dauncers and Tumblers . glaunced at them by the way , shall bee let passe with this clause , that they gather no assemblyes , and goe not beyond the precincts whiche Peter Martyr in his commentaryes vppon the Judges hath set them downe : That is , if they will exercise those qualyties , to doe it priutlye , for the health and agilitie of the body , referring all to the glorye of God .

Dicers and Carders because their Dicers and Carders . abuses are as commonly cryed out on , as vsually shewen , haue no neede of a needelesse discourse , for euery manne seeth them , and they stinke almoste in euecy mans nose . Common Bowling Bowling Alleyes . Allyes , are priuy Mothes , that eate vppe the credite of many idle Citizens : whose gaynes at home , are not able too weighe downe theyr losses abroade , whose Shoppes are so farre from maintaining their play , that their Wiues and Children cry out for bread , and go to bedde supperlesse ofte in the yeere .

I woulde reade you a Lecture of these abuses , but my Schoole so increaseth , that I cannot touch all , nor stand to amplyfie euery poynte : one worde of Fencing , and so a Conge to all kinde of Playes . The knowledge in weapons Fencers . may bee gathered to be necessary in a common wealth , by the Senators of Rome , who in the time of Catilins conspyracyes , caused Schooles of Defence Salust . to be erected in Capua , that teaching the people howe to warde , and how to locke , howe to thrust , and how to strike , they might the more safelye coape with their enemies . As the Arte of Logique was firste sette downe for a rule , by which wee mighte Confirmare nostra , & refutare aliena , confirme our owne reasons , and confute the allegations of our aduersaryes , the end beeing trueth , which once fished out by the harde encounter of eithers Argumentes , like fyer by the knocking of Flintes togither , bothe partes shoulde be satisfyed and striue no more . And I iudge that the crafte of Defence was firste deuised to saue our selues harmelesse , and holde our enemies still at aduauntage , the ende beeing right , which once throughly tryed out , at handye stroakes , neither hee that offered iniurie shoulde haue his will , nor hee that was threatened , take any hurte , but bothe be contented and shake handes . Those dayes are now chaunged , the skil of Logicians , is exercysed in caueling , the cunning of Fencers applied to quarrelling : they , thinke themselues no Schollers , if they bee not able to finde out a knotte in euery rushe ; these , no men , if for stirring of a strawe , they prooue not their valure vppon some bodyes fleshe . Euery Duns will bee a Carper , euery Dick Swash a common Cutter . But as they bake , many times so they brue : Selfe doe , selfe haue , they whette their Swoords against themselues , pull the house on their owne heds , returne home by weeping Crosse , and fewe of them come to an honest ende . For the same water that driues the Mill , decayeth it . The woode is eaten by the worme , that breeds within it : The goodnesse of a knife cuts the owners finger , The Adders death , is her own broode , the Fencers scath , his own knowledg . Whether their harts be hardened , which vse that exercise , or God giue them ouer I know not well : I haue reade of none good that practised it muche . Commodus the Commodus a Fencer and exercised in murder . Emperour , so delighted in it , that often times hee slewe one or other at home , to keepe his fingers in vre . And one day hee gathered all the sicke , lame , and impotent people of Rome into one place , where hee hampred their feete with straunge deuises , gaue them softe spunges in their hands , to throw at him for stones , & with a greate clubbe knatched them all on the hed , as they had bin Giauntes . Epaminondas a famous Epaminondas ●●inde on his Buckler . Captaine , fore hurte in a battaile , and carryed out of the fielde , halfe deade : When tydinges was broughte him that his Souldiers gotte the day , asked presently , what became of his Buckler : whereby it appeareth , that hee lo●ed his weapons , but I finde it not sayd that he was a Fencer . Therfore I may liken them which woulde not haue men sent to war til they are taught fencinge , to those superstitious wisemen , whiche would not take vppon them to burye the bodyes of their friends , before they had beene cast vnto wilde beastes . Fencing is growne to such abuse , that I may wel compare the Scholers of this Schoole to them that prouide Statues for their owne shoulders ; that foster Snakes , in their owne bosoms ; that trust Wolues , to garde theyr Sheepe ; And to the men of Hyrcania , that keepe Mastiffes , to woorrye them selues . Thoughe I speake this too the shame of common Fencers , I goe not aboute the bushe with Souldiers , Homer calleth them Souldiers . the Sonnes of Iupiter , the Images of GOD , and the very sheepeheards of the people : beeing the Sonnes of Iupiter , they are bountifull too the meeke ; and thunder out plagues to the proude in heart : beeing the Images of GOD , they are the Welspringes of Justice which giueth to euery man his owne ; beeing accoumpted the shepeheards of the people , they fight with the Woolfe for the safetie of their flock and keepe of the enimie for the wealth of their Countrie . How full are Poets works of Bucklers , Battails , Lances , Dartes , Bowes , Quiuers , Speares , Iauelins , Swoordes , slaughters , Runners Wrestlers , Chariots , Horse , and men at armes ? Agamemnon beyonde the name of a King hath this title , that he was a Souldier . Menelaus , because he loued his Kercher better then a Burgonet , a softe bed then a hard fielde , the sounde of Instrumentes then neighing of Steedes , a fayre stable then a foule way , is let slippe without prayse . If Lycurgus before hee make lawes too Sparta , take counsel of Apollo , whether it were good for him to teach the people thrift and husbandry , he shal be charged to leaue those precepts to the white liuered Hylotes . The Spartans are all steele , fashioned out of tougher mettall , free in minde , valiaunt in hart , seruile to none , accustoming their flesh to stripes , their bodyes to labour , their feete to hunting , their handes to fighting . In Crete , Scythia , Persia , Thracia , all the Lawes tended to the maintenance of Martiall disciplyne . Among the Scythians no man was permitted to drink of their festiuall Cuppe , which had not manfully killed an enemie in fight . I coulde wishe it in England , that there were greater preferment for the valiant Spartanes , then the sottishe Hylotes : That our Lawes were directed to rewarding of those , whose liues are the firste , that must be hazarded to mayntaine the lybertie of the Lawes . The gentlemen of Carthage , were not allowed too weare , any moe linkes in theyr chaynes , then they had seene battayles . If our Gallantes of Englande might carry no more linkes in their Chaynes nor ringss on their fingers , then they haue fought feeldes , their necks should not bee very often wreathed in Golde , nor their handes embrodered with pretious stones . If none but they might be suffered to drinke out of plate , that haue in skirmish slain one of her maiesties enemyes , many thousands shoulde bring earthen pots to the table . Let vs learne by other mens harmes too looke to our selues , When the Aegyptians were most busy in their husbandry , the Scythians ouerran them : when the Assyrians were looking to their thrift , the Persians wer in armes & ouercam them : when the Troians thoughte them selues safest , the Greekes were neerest : when Rome was a sleepe , the French men gaue a sharpe assaulte too the Capitoll : when the Iewes were idle , their walles were rased , & the Romans entred : when the Chaldees were sporting , Babylon was sacked : when the senators were quiet , no garisons in Italy , & Pompey from home , wicked Catiline began his mischeuous enterprise . We are like those vnthankfull people , which puffed vp with prosperity forget the good turnes they receiued in aduersitie . The patient feeds his Phisition with gold in time of sicknesse , & when he is wel , scarcely affoords him a cup of water . Some there are that make gods of soldiers in open warrs , & trusse them vp like dogs in the time of peace . Take heed of the foxefurd nightcap , I meene those schoolemen , that cry out vpon Mars calling him the bloody God , the angry God , the furious god , the mad God , 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 the bloody God . These are but castes of their office & wordes of course . That is a vain brag & a false allarme , that Tullie giues to soldiers .

Cedant arma togae , concedat laurea linguae .

Let gunns to gouns , & bucklers yeeld to bookes . If the enemy beseege vs , cut off our victuals , preuent forrain aide , girt in the city , & bring the Ramme to the walles , it is not Ciceroes tongue that can peerce their armour to wound the body , nor Archimedes prickes , & lines , & circles , & triangles , & Rhombus , & rifferaffe , that hath any force to driue them backe . Whilst the one chats , his throte is cut ; whilest the other syttes drawing Mathematicall fictions , the enimie standes with a sworde at his breast . He that talketh much , and doth litle , is like vnto him that sailes with a side winde , and is borne with the tide to a wrong shore . If they meane to doe any good indeed , bid them followe Demosthenes , and ioyne with Phocion : when they haue giuen vs good counsell in wordes , make much of Souldiers , that are redy to execute that same with swords . Bee not carelesse , Plough with weapons by your sides , studye with a booke in one hande , a darte in the other : enioy peace , with prouision for war : when you haue lefte the sandes behinde you , looke wel to the rocks that lye before you : Let not the ouer comming one Tempest make you secure , but haue an eye to the cloude that comes from the South , and threateneth raine : the least ouersight in dangerous Seas may cast you awaye , the least discontinuaunce of Martiall exercise giue you the foyle . When Achilles loytered in his cent , giuing eare too Musick , his souldiers were bidde to a hot breakefast . Hannibals power receiued more hurte in one dayes ease at Capua , then in al the conflicts they had at Cannas . It were not good for vs too flatter oure selues with these golden dayes : highe floodes haue lowe Ebbes : hotte Feuers , coulde Crampes : Long dayes shorte nightes ; Drie Summers moyst Winters : There was neuer fort so strong , but it might be battered , neuer ground so fruitful , but it might be barren : neuer countries so populous , but it might be wast : neuer Monarch so mighty ; but he might be weakened : neuer Realme so large , but it might be lessened : neuer kingdom so florishing , but it might bee decayed . Scipio before hee leuied his force too the walles of Carhage , gaue his souldiers the print of the Citie in a cake to bee deuoured : our enimies with Scipio , haue already eaten vs with bread , & licked vp our blood in a cup of wine . They do but tarry the tide : watch opportunitie , and wayte for the reckoning , that with the shot of our liues , shoulde paye for all . But that GOD , that neither stumbreth nor sleepeth , for the loue of Israel , that stretcheth out his armes from morning to euening to couer his children , ( as the Hen doth her chicken with the shadow of her wings ) with the breath of his mouth shall ouerthrow them , with their own snares shall ouertake them , & hang them vp by the haire of their owne deuises . Notwithstanding it behooueth vs in the meane season , not to stick in the myre , and gape for succour , without vsing some ordinary way our selues : or to lye wallowing like Lubbers in the Ship of the common wealth , crying Lord , Lord , when Labourers . wee see the vessel coyle , but soynely laye our handes and heades , and helpes together , to auoyd the danger , & saue that , which must be the suretie of vs all . For as to the body , there are many members , seruing to seuerall vses , the eye to see , the eare to heare , the nose to smell , the tongue to taste , the hande to touch , the feete to beare the whole burden of the rest , and euery one dischargeth his duetie without grudging ; so shoulde the whole body of the common wealth consist of fellow laborers , all generally seruing one head , & particularly following their trade , without repining . From the head to the foote , from the top to the coe , there should nothing be vaine , no body idle . Iupiter himself shall stand for example ; who is euer in woork , still moouing & turning about the heauens , if he shuld pull his hand from the frame , it were impossible for the world to indure . All would be day , or al night ; All spring , or all Autume ; all Summer , or all winter ; All heate or all colde ; all moysture , or al brought ; No time to til , no time to sow , no time to plant , no time to reape , the earth barren , the riuers stopt , the Seas stayde , the seasons chaunged , and the whole course of nature ouer throwen . The meane must labor to serue the mightie , the mightie must studye to defende the meane . The subiects must sweat in obedience to their Prince ; the Prince must haue a care ouer his poore vassals . If it be the dutie of euery man in a common wealth , one way or other to bestirre his Leyterers . stumpes , I cannot but blame those lither contemplators very much , which sit concluding of Sillogismes in a corner , which in a close study in the Uniuersity coope themselues vp fortie yeres togither studying all thinges , and professe nothing . The Bell is knowen by his sounde , the Byrde by her voyce , the Lyon by his rore , the Tree by the fruite , a man by his woorkes . To continue so long without moouing , to reade so much without teaching , what differeth it from a dumbe Picture , or a deade body ? No man is borne to seeke priuate profite : parte for his countrie , parte for his friendes , parte for himselfe . The foole that comes into a fayre Garden , likes the beawtie of flowers , and stickes them in his Cap : the Phisition considereth their nature , and puttes them in the potte : in the one they wither without profite ; in the other they serue to the health of the bodie : He that readeth good writers , and pickes out their flowers for his owne nose , is lyke a foole ; hee that preferreth their vertue before their sweet smel is a good Phisition . When Anacharsis traueled ouer all Greece , to seek out wise men , hee founde none in Athens , though no doubt , there were many good scholers there . But comming to Chenas a blind village , in comparison of Athens Right Philosophie : a Paltockes Time ; he found one Miso , well gouerning his house , looking to his grounde , instructing his children , teaching his family , making of marriages among his acquayntance , exhorting his neighbours to loue , & friendeship , & preaching in life , whom , the Philosopher for his scarcitie of woordes plenty of workes , accompted the onelye wise man that euer he saw . I speak not this to preferr Botley before Oxeford , a cottage of clownes , before a Colledge of Muses ; Pans pipe , before Apollos harp . But to shew you that poore Miso can reade you such a lecture of Philosophie , as Aristotle neuer dreamed on . You must not thruste your heades in a tubbe , & say , Benè vixit , qui benè latuit : Hee hath liued well , that hath loitred well : standing streames geather filth ; flowing riuers , are euer sweet . Come foorth with your sicles , the Haruest is greate , the laborers few ; pul vp the sluces , let out your springs , geue vs drink of your water , light of your torches , & season vs a little with the Salt of your knowledge . Let Phaenix and Achilles , Demosthenes & Phocion , Pericles & Cimon , Laelius & Scipio , Nigidius and Cicero , the word and the sword be knit togither . Set your talents a worke , lay not vp your tresure for takingrust , teach earely & late , in time & out of time , sing with the swan , to the last houre . Folowe the dauncing Chaplens of Gradiuus Mars , which chaunt the praises of their god with voyces , and treade out the time with their feete . Play the good captaines , exhort your souldiers with your tonges to fight , & bring the first ladder to the wall your selues . Sound like bels , and shine like Lanternes ; Thunder in words , and glister in works ; so shall you please God , profite your country , honor yourprince , discharge your duetie , giue vp a good account of your stewardship , and leaue no sinne vntouched , no abuse unrebuked , no fault vnpunished . Sundry are the abuses aswell of Uniuersityes as of other places , but they are such as neither become me to touch , nor ●arpers . euery idle hed to vnderstand . The Thurines made a Lawe that no common finde fault should meddle with any abuse but Adulterie . Pythagoras bounde 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 , of Pithago●●● . all his Schollers to fiue yeeres silence , that assoone as euer they crept from the shel , they might not aspire to the house top . It is not good for euery man too trauell to Corinth , nor lawfull for all to talke what they liste , or write what they please , least their tongues run before their wites , or their pennes make hauock of their Paper . And so wading too farre in other mens manners , whilst they fill their Bookes with other mens faultes , they make their volumes no bettern then an Apothecarics Shop , of pestilent Drugges ; a quackesaluers Budget of filthy receites ; and a huge Chaos of foule disorder . Cookes did neuer long more for great markets , nor Fishers for large Pondes , nor greedy Dogges for store of game , nor soaring hawkes for plentie of fowle , then Carpers doe nowe for copye of abuses , that they might euer be snarling , and haue some Flyes or other in the way to snatch at . As I woulde that offences should not be hid , for going vnpunished , nor escape without scourge for ill example . So I wish that euery rebuker shoulde place a hatch before the doore ; keep his quil within compas . He that holds not him self contented with the light of the Sun but liftes vp his eyes to measure the bignesse , is made blinde ; he that bites euery weed to search out his nature , may light vpon poyson , and so kill himselfe : he that loues to be lifting of euery cloude , may be strooke with a thunderbolte , if it chaunce to rent ; & he that taketh vpon him to shew men their faules , may wound his owne credite , if he goe too farre . We are not angry with the Clarke of the market , if he come to our stall , and reprooue our ballance when they are faultie , or forfaite our weights , when they are false : neuerthelesse , if he presume to enter our house , and rig euery corner , searching wore then belongs to his office : we lay holde on his locks , tnrne him away with his backe full of stripes , and his hands loden with his owne amendes . Therefore I will content my selfe to shew you no more abuses in my Schoole , then my selfe haue seene , nor so many by hundreds , as I haue heard off . Lyons folde vp their natles , when they are in their dennes for wearing them in the earth and neede not : Eagles draw in their tallants as they sit in their nestes , for blunting them there amonge drosse : And I will caste Ancor in these abuses , rest my Barke in the simple roade , for grating my wits vpon needelesse shelues . And because I accuse other for treading awry , which since I was borne neuer went right ; bet cause I finde so many faultes abroade , which haue at home more spots in my body then the Leopard ; morestaines on my coate then the wicked Nessus ; more holes in my life then the open Siue ; more sinnes in my soule than heares on my bed ; If I haue beene tedious in my Lecture , or your selues be weary of your lessou , harken no longet for the Clock , shut vp the Schoole , and get you home .

FINIS .