CVpid hauing taught me what restlesse passions are in loue , what continual perturbations Fancy affoordes to such as account beauty the principal end of their affects : hauing receaued the wound , I sought where to find a salue fit for the easing of my malady : Experience willing that I should not tye my thoughts on delay , told me that such as were enuenomed with the Scorpion , must be healed by the Scorpion , that the Tarantals sting could not be pulde out without Musick , that he which was pierced with Achilles Launce must be healed by his Speare , and they which were charmed with Loue , must seeke to loue , or els lacke remedy : Wherupon doubtfull what I should doo , I was willed to sue to Venus as soueraigne Goddesse and patronesse of such perplexed patients . I left my home and sayled to Cipres , there found I men vnknowne , but not her whom I lookt for : there might I sée Venus Pallace like the gorgious Tower built by Semeramus . Sloth being Porter , sléepy , and suffering frée passage to all , the gate of entrance was not the way to returne : for at the other side was a doore to depart , where Beggery stoode and threatned all , but strooke some with his whip of repentance : within I found Princes , great Lords and men of meane calling , al prisoners , some fettered by the eyes , others by the eares , some by the tong , as hauing more lust in their mouth then loue in their mindes , none or fewe cheyned by the harts , and such as were set inthroned in a secret Cell : those Venus shrinde vp as wonders of the worlde , well : missing what I came for , I past spéedily from thence to Paphos , where Venus had onely a Temple , thither came multitudes on Pilgrimage , making vowes , vttering oathes , and protesting promises : if they might enioy the fruition of their Ladyes , to be sworne votaries to the Goddesse : Some were fauoured , others disgraced : some dispaired , some hoped , but all found the ende of theyr pilgrimage was to buy smoake with many perrills and daungers : But all these instances were no arguments to diswade me from my iourney : But as Medea though I saw the best and allowed of it , yet I followed the néerest & smarted for it , for such as be in loue are like the Déere which one while strike at the Tamarisk trée with their hornes , and then gréedily burst on it with their mouthes , others the people of Mamaca , that surfet on Dates , and yet dye with them in their mawes . Louers exclaime agaynst Cupid , and yet they goe on pylgrimage to Paphos , they call Venus vniust , and yet offer her incense and sacrifice , they fore-sée misery , and yet run headlong on their owne misfortune . So fared it with mee , for seeing these men thus deepely passionate , and yet so slenderly rewarded , as who carried away the greatest trophe , had his ensigne stamped with repentance : yet their mishaps could not make me learne to beware , but from Paphos I went to the fountaine of Alcidalion , where I heard Venus to auoyde the heate of Sommer , was kept close Prisoner by Mars in a Pauillion , but I found the rumour false , yet did I not repent mee of my arriuall , for there I sawe sitting about the bancks , infinite troupes of faire and beautifull Ladyes , all votaries vnto Venus , smyling at the fondnesse of men , and laughing at the passions of theyr Louers , making true loue knots of rushes , that broke ere they could be twisted : some séemed lyke Saintes , those were subtill and peruerse : others fawned , and those were flatterers : some wept , and they let fall teares of deceite : some séemde to haue many eyes , and those had many fancies : some two harts , and yet they were very chast : for some had twenty measuring their Loues by their lookes : gazing still vpon their countenance and gesture , I perceiued hard by seperate from the rest a fewe Ladyes sitting passing solitarie , their names were ingrauen in the trées , but so long since as hardly I could read them , yet I found out Hero , Penelope , Thisbe , Artemesia , alas a small number and disdained by the rest , these had their eyes shut against beauty , and their eares open to vertue , their harts subiect to loue , but onely stamped with one Carracter , resembling the Emeraulde , that neuer looseth the first impression nor admitteth any other : well here I could neyther finde Venus , nor heare of her , but scoffinglie those girles told me , she was either in Ida or in Erecinus , desirous to loose no time , I hasted from Alcydalion to Ida , where I could see no steps of a Goddesse , but only the ancient monument of Troy consumed to cinders , there I noted the end of loue , the reward of lust , the trophes of Venus , the follies of women in Helena , that brought Priamus his sonnes , and so famous a Cittie to confusion . From thence I posted to Erecinus , the Mountaine was greene and pleasant to the eye , the stones that appeared higher then the grasse séemed like Iacinthes , the mosse was flowers , the very rubbish below pearles , so the nature seemd to haue conquered art , and art nature , and a supernaturall glory both in musing at the gorgeous scituation of this deuine Mount , looking if eyther there were Palace or Temple dedicate to Venus , I sawe none , but casting mine eye into the bordring vale , I saw a Shepheard grasing of his flockes . Desirous to learne of the man any newes of the Goddesse , pacing downe from the Hyll , I went and saluted him in this manner .

Shepheard , so I name thee for thy flockes , more maist thou be , for Apollo kept Midas sheepe , and Mercury taken the shape of a Heardman : but measuring thy degrée as present thou seemest , I craue so much fauour at thy hands , as to tell mee whether Venus is resident about this mount of Erecinus , or no , I haue beene at all her places of abode , and this is the last of all her earthly mansions : This Shephearde hearing me salute him so curteouslie , laying downe his pipe and his hooke aunswered thus bluntly .

Friend , what I am it little reckes thée , thou seest my fouldes , and then why standest thou vpon higher titles : In calling me shepheard or Swaine , thou giuest me my due , if my degrée be greater , my sheepe may serue for thy excuse , to thy question : as it sauours of folly , so I thinke best to aunswer it with silence , yet for I see thy thoughts to be full of passions , and thy face the map of sorrowes , the two notes of a Louer , if I knew my counsaile might profite thee , or my experience warne thee , I would bestow a little wast time while my Sheepe grase so hard , to holde thee chat .

Hearing the Shepheard beginning so roughly , to conclude so gently , willing to be auditor to his Country precepts , I aunswered him thus .

Shepheard , if thou be no better , ( for thy talke makes me suspect higher , Know that I haue tolde many cares , numbred many passions , felt many sorrowes , vttred many sighes , shed many teares since Venus entertained me , with Roses at the first , & afterwarde beate me with Nettles , I haue found loue to be a Laborinth , a fury , a hell , wherein men aliue féele worse paines then those ghostes that pay Charon hier for his ferriboat : gréeued thus , yet as one in a lunacie : I neuer fore-sawe my miseries . I heard many counsailes , and read many preceps , but al in vaine , yet for that time hath many chaunces , the Fates their Canons tied to opportunitie . Fortune her decrées variable , and loue , many accidents : I will humbly craue what thou hast offered , promising to be attentiue and not ingratefull , as farre as a strangers abilitie may gratifie .

The Shephearde without further promising or longer delay , began thus .

Thou seest that I sitte heere féeding my flocks by Erecinus , whether daily resorte multitudes of amorous Pilgrims suing to Venus for releefe of their passions , but how she vsed these fond and perplexed patients , as it pitties mee to rehearse , so it wil grieue thee to heare . Those youthes whose yeeres more then their mindes , are fryed with a small flame of ordinarie fancie , rather inserted by nature then inferred by loue , such she entertaineth most sumptuously , as fittest obiects for her to worke vpon , putting oyle in the flame , fire to flax , and beautie as the balefull obiect to youth , for she knowing the olde verse to bee too true for her to disproue , Quod latit ignotum est : ignoti nulla Cupido , that , what is secret from vs we neuer desire to inueagle them with her charmes , she present beutie excellent by nature , yet far more gorgious by arte : faire faces , smiling lookes , alluring gestures swéet spéeches , these are the baites that she layes to intrap , & youth is so fond that he cannot but taste , resembling the poore Mouse , that feedeth soonest on the most infectious Rosalger , respecting the colour , not the confection , after once shée hath gotten youth limed fast on her twigges , then Cupid vseth them as marks , and at euery shoote galleth to the quicke , that the woundes cannot be cured , till eyther we finde remedie by repentance , which oft commeth too late , or haue a quittance by death , which they thinke commeth too soone . Others , that haue beene stale stayers in her Court , spending their time in sighes , teares , and many dispayring passions , such shée feedeth on with delayes , giuing them one day an incarnatiue to heale , and the next day a contrary medicine to fester , choking theyr sences with perfumes , and straight stifling them with Hemlock , suffering theyr Ladies in the morning to wash their temples with Rose-water , and at night to quaffe to them gall and vinegar , shadowing smiles with frownes , sower lookes with wanton actions , fettering them with the wings of hope , but hanging dispaire at their heeles , least soaring too hie , they should seaze & catch their pray : suppose she sets then on the top of her whéele , where , poore man I know thou desirest to be plaste , and for their long trauell , she giues them with Ixion a clowde , a faire dame I mean , as shee bestowed vpon Paris , yet shalt thou finde , that she fetcheth all her virgins from the fountain of Alcydalion , ( beleeue me Pilgrim I will not warrant theyr maidenheads ) because thou seest they haue many eyes , and many harts , which haue many fancies , and many lures , and trust me Pilgrime , many causes must needes bring out some effects : But leauing these doubts as may not once haue entrance into Louers thoughts , and affirming that all are virgins that come from Venus , for Diana hath so few in her traine , that she marries not one in seauen yéeres , when the louer hath what he long sought for , he findes not the fairest Christall but hath his staine , the brightest topar but hath his spot , the richest Gold , but hath his ore , and the purest creature feminine I meane : but hath her common imperfection , either proud without profite , and that s a purgation for the Purse , or fayre without wit , and that is to marry a woodden picture with a golden creast , full of fauour but flattering , and so he may reape many kisses and little loue , shrewish , deceitfull , wilfull , fond , new fangle , and what not : nay , perhaps proue so light in the braines , that she make him swell in the browes , that as he hath beene in his youth a votary to Venus , so in his age he may proue a companion to Vulcan , and Pilgrim quoth the Shepheard , this is to sitte on the toppe of Venus wheele , these bitter sauces be her cheefest delicates , and these painted Sepulchers her richest trophies . Thou seest I sit neere Erecinus , and therfore speake by experience , thou saiest to Venus thou art in loue , thou wouldest faine haue a wife from Alcidalion , looke before thou leape , pry into Venus Cofers , and sée what chaffer she prouides for her chapmen , I haue counsayled , now rests it in thee either to followe it with a momentary sorrowing content , or to forsake it with a perpetuall pleasing mislike .

Hearing the cunning experienced swaine to discourse so roundly of the matter , I imagined either he had beene in loue , or an enemie to Venus , so that I demaunded of him if he would not haue men loue at all ?

Yes quoth he , so they count Dianas virgins not Venus wantons : I replied she had very few or none , hee aunswered , had shée more suters , shee woulde prouide more maydes , but Venus spying them passe towards her Pallace , layeth such snares to intangle , such traps to intice , such charmes to bewitch , such dangers to preiudice , that none or very few ariue at Dianas mantion , and such as doo : come thither halfe maimed .

Then quoth I , you conclude peremptorily against Venus and her crue , and very hardly against women . Hearing me say so , he tooke me by the hande , & softly whispering in mine eare , Pilgrim I may say to thée , Wiues be they neuer so watcht they will : Maides be they neuer so bashfull they wish , and widdowes bee they neuer so coy , they would , take me not generally Pilgrime quoth hée , and with that sitting downe he tooke his pipe in his hand , and plaid so sweetly , that like Argus at Mercuries melodie I fell on sleepe .

No sooner had Morpheus shut mine eyes , but I fell into a dreame , mee thought I was ledde from Erecinus by Mercury , alongst the galupin or siluer paued way of heauen to the hie built house of Ioue , there woulde I haue gazde at the gorgious buildings , but my guide was in haste , and conducted me into the great Hall , wher Iupiter and the rest of the Gods were at a banquet , no sooner was I entred amongst them , but Mercury sprinkled me with water , which made me capaple of their diuine presence , so that I sat stil looking on their persons , and listning to their parle , at last me thought blunt Vulcan that sat at the lower end of the boord , although Venus aboue , sat opposite to Mars , beganne thus roughly to breake silence : I cannot mighty Gods but smile to thinke that when my wife and her blind Sonne , the one with her boxe of beauties , the other with his quiuer of Arrowes , passe abroade to shewe their Deities : what number of poore perplexed men as Patients come to haue cure of their hurts , some in their eyes , that haue gazed with the Phylosopher agaynst too bright a Sunne , and such are blind ; some that with Vlisses haue not stopped their eares , but haue listened the Syrens , and they complaine of their hearing : some in their harts , and those bewraies their passions by their grones : none comes without gréefe , nor returne throughly cured , so that I suppose either the wounds are very perilous , or my wife a bad Surgion . Truth ( quoth Iupiter ) but what number of women come hether : Multitudes ( quoth Vulcan ) Apollo smoothly and yet with a smile , demaunded if they were as bad to cure as men : No ( quoth Vulcan ) for be the wound neuer so déepe , t is perfectly cured in twelue houres , eyther my wife is more friendly to Women , or their sores more easie to salue . No ( quoth Mercury ) it is because their loues are like a mans breath against bright stéele , which scarse lighteth on before it leapeth off , or like wood wet in Allom water , which lieth in the fire and waxeth hot , but neuer burneth : their harts resemble a Pumice stone , light : & which way soeuer you turne it : full of starting holes , that if fancy steale in at the one , he can step out at the other : or els quoth Iupiter , their harts haue no holes at all , but as firme as flint , that neither fancy nor loue can enter , for Venus teacheth them extremities , eyther to fawne & be too fond , or to be too coy and too stubborne , which causeth so many to put vp inuertiues against her . Least of all ( quoth the Goddesse , ) in a great chafe hath Iupiter cause to accuse women of cruelty , if not , I appeale to Iuno , at this all the company smiled and Ioue was silent , well ( quoth Apollo , ) leauing these quips seeing we haue met to be merry , if it please you to allow of my motion , to make vs some musicke , I will raise vp the Ghosts of Orpheus and Arion , two , famous in their times for their instruments , and greatly experienced in Loue , as béeing great trauailers , and with that conuersing the greatest Potentates in the world , who often are as full of loues as they are of dignities : these shall please vs with harmony , and discourse either what they thinke , or what they haue heard of womens Loues : To this all the Gods gladly agréede , and Mercury was sent in Post to Pluto for these two Musitians , scarse had I thought Mercury had béene out of the Hall , before I saw enter with this winged God the Ghosts of Orpheus and Arion , so liuely to the eye , and so well trussed in their apparell as they séemed perfectly such as they were when they liued vpon earth : Orpheus after that he had doone due reuerence to the Gods , especially to Apollo : tuning his instrument without any more commaund , as if his seruice should be saluery , hée daintily toucht the Cordes with a sweete stroake , and to a melodious tune , sung this Ditty .

SCarse had Orpheus ended his song , but Iupiter thinking not to let so faire a ball fall to the grounde : tooke opportunitie thus by the hand .

This present Dittie of Orpheus tendeth to our forepassed discourse , as though the Fates had forepointed our talke , and this arriuall consequence of their infallible decrees : sith then the vnkindnes of Euridicae discouers the inconstancie of women , & that Orpheus hath by his sundry passions made an Anatomy of loue : let vs heare hys opinion howe hee censures of beautie . Apollo at Iupiters motion commaunded Orpheus , who not amased ( as a Ghost come from hell ) began thus . The Question right mighty Gods is easie , for that commonly all gaze at beauty as at the fairest obiect that flattereth the eye , yet a thing perilous , howsoeuer it seemes precious : seeing the fairest Lawnes soonest take the déepest staines , the brightest Beralles the greatest flawes , and oftentimes the fairest faces with intollerable faults : Greece vaunted not so much of her beautifull paragon , as Troy lamented of their incestuous strumpet , men came to Rome to sée Messalines beauty , but Rome sorrowed that shee was counted a Harlot : Thessaly rung of Euridites proportion , but Thessaly shamed and Orpheus grieued at her bad condition , and yet forsooth though we find beauty thus preiudiciall , yet we must leape at it , though to our vtter ruine we light in the ditch : But as the fish Ramera listning to the sound of the trumpet , is caught of the Fishers : as the Porcupine standeth staring at the glimmering of the Starres , and is ouertaken with dogges : as the Leopard looking at the Panthers painted skinne , is caught as a pray : so he which taketh too much delight to gaze vppon beautie , is oft times galled with greefe and misery : yea , his pleasure shall inferre such profite , and his good will such gaines , as if hee reapt the beautifull Apples of Tantalus , which are no sooner toucht , but they turne to ashes .

Beautie no sooner flourisheth but it fadeth , and it is not fully ripe , but it beginneth to rotte : it no sooner blossommeth , but it withereth : and scarcely being toucht , it stayneth like the Guiacum leafe , that hath the one halpe parched before the other halfe be perfect , to the Birde Acauthis , which hatched white , yet turneth blacke at the first storme : Or like to the stone Astites , that changeth coulour with the onely breath of a man : this ( right mightie Gods ) is my censure of beautie , that vnlesse ioyned with vertue , it is like the feathers of the Phenix , placed in the carkasse of a Crow , but where faith and feature are Relatiues , that beauty I call diuine and metaphisica , for because gratior est pulchro veniens è corpore virtus . Thys discourse of Orpheus all the Gods applauded except Venus , Iuno brookt it as hauing lost the Ball , and Venus thought it was best to pocket vp whatsoeuer a Ghost out of hell did tattle , and so I would haue all faire Gentlewomen to take it : well , so well did the Gods like and allow of his talke , that Iupiter questioned him what hee thought generally of women : Orpheus neither forcing Iuno nor Venus , as one that could but goe to hell , boldly made answer , that their generall sex stood vpon two extreames , either too curteous or too cruell , and that he had made expeence of both , and which quoth Iupiter are the worst ? I note ( quoth Orpheus ) if your question tendes towardes men , because my particuler instance may be no generall Example , but this well I wot , crueltie hath the greatest punishment appointed for it in hell , which may it please you and the rest of the Gods to be attentiue , I will proue with a knowne history . The Gods setling themselues in their seates , shewed by their silence how they lik'd of his motion , whereupon Orpheus began thus .