THere be requisite effectually to act the art of Conny-catching . thrée seuerall parties , the Setter , the Uerser , and the barnacle . The nature of the Setter , is to draw anie person familiarly to drinke with him , which person they call the conie , and their method is according to the man they aime at : if a gentleman , marchant , or apprentice , the cony is the more easily caught , in that they are soone induced to plaie , and therefore I omit the circumstance which they vse in catching of them . And because the poore countrie farmer or yeoman is the mark which they most of all shoote at , who they know comes not empty to the Terme . I will discouer the meanes they put in practise to bring in some honest , simple , and ignorant men to their purpose . The coni-catchers apparelled like honest ciuel Gentlemen , or good fellowes , with a smooth face , as if butter would not melt in their mouths , after dinner when the clients are come from Westminster hall , and are at leasure to walke vp and downe Pauls , Fléet stréet , Holborne , the strond , and such common hanted places , where these coosning companions attend onely to spie out a pray , who as they sée a plaine countrie felow wel and cleanly apparelled , either in a coat of home spum russet , or of fréeze as the time requires , and a side pouch at his side , there is a conie , saith one . At that word out flies the Setter , & ouertaking the man begins to salute him thus : sir , God saue you , you are welceme to London , how doth all our friends in the countrie , I hope they be all in health ? The countrie man seeing a man so curteous he knows not , halfe in a brown studie at this strange salutation , perhaps makes him this answere : syr al our frends in the countrie are wel , thankes be to God , but truly I knowe you not , you must pardon me . Why sir , saith the setter , gessing by his tongue what countrie man he is , are ye not such a countryman ? if he saie yes , then he creeps vpon him closely , if he say no , then straight the setter comes ouer him thus . In good sooth syr , I know you by your face , and haue bin in your companis before , I praie you ( if without offence ) let me craue your name and the place of your abode . The simple man straight tels him where he dwels , his name , and who be his next neighbors and what countrie Gentlemen dwell about him . After he hath lerned all of him , then he comes ouer his fallows kindly , sir , thogh I haue bin somwhat bold to be inquisitiue of your name , yet hold me excused , for I tooke you for a friend of mine , but since by mistaking I haue made you slacke your busines , we le drink a quart of wine or a pot of ale together , if the foole bee so readie as to go , then the conie is caught , but if hee smackes the setter , and smels a rat by his clawing , and will not drinke with him , then awaie goes the setter , and discourseth to the verser that name of the man , the parish he dwels in , and what Gentlemen are his néere neighbors , with that awaie goes he , and crossing the man at some turning , méets him full in the face , & gréets him thus . What goodman Barton , how fare all our friends about you ? you are wel met , I haue the wine for you , you are welcome to towne . The poore Countrie man hearing himselfe named by a man he knows not , maruels , and answeres that he knows him not , and craues pardon . Not mee goodman Barton , haue you forgot me ? why I am such a mans kinsman , your neighbor not farre off , how doth this or that good Gentleman my friend ? good Lord that I should be out of your remembrance , I haue bin at your house diuerse times . Indéed syr , saith the Farmer , are you such a mans kinsman , surely syr if you had not challenged acquaintance of me , I shoulde neuer haue knowen you , I haue cleane forgotten you , but I know the good gentleman your cosyn well , he is my verie good neighbor . And for his sake sayth the verser , we le drinke ere we parte , happily the man thankes him , & to the wine or ale they go , then ere they part they make him a conie , and so feret claw him at cards , that they leaue him as bare of monie as an ape of a taile . Thus haue the filthie fellowes their subtill fetches , to drawe on poore men to fall into their coosning practises . Thus like consuming moths of the commonwealth , they praie vpon the ignorance of such plain soules as measure all their owne honestie , not regarding either conscience , or the fatall reuenge that s threatned for such idle and licentious persons , do but imploy al their wits to ouerthrow such as with their handy thrift satisfie their harty thirst : they preferring cosenage before labor , and chusing an idle practise before an honest forme of good liuing . Wel , to the method againe of taking vp their conies . If the poore countriman smoke them stil , and wil not stoup vnto either of their lures : then one , either the verser , or the setter , or some of their crue , for there is a fraternitie betwixt them , steps before the cony as he goeth , & let s drop twelue pence in the high way , that of force the conny must see it . The countriman spying the shilling , maketh not daintie , for quis nisi mentis inops oblatum respuit aurum , but stoupeth very mannerly and taketh it vp : then one of the conny catchers behind crieth halfe part , and so chalengeth halfe of his finding , the countriman content offreth to change the mony , nay faith frend saith the verser , t is il luck to kéepe found mony , we le go spend it in a pottle of wine , or a breakefast , dinner or supper , as the time of day requires : if the cony say he wil not , then answeres the verser , spend my part : if stil the cony refuse , he taketh halfe and away . If they spy the countriman to be of a hauing and couetous mind , then haue they a further policie to draw him on : another that knoweth the place of his abode , méeteth him and saith , sir , wel met . I haue run hastely to ouertake you , I pray you dwel you not in Darbishire , in such a village ? yea marry do I frend saith the cony , then replies the verser , truely sir I haue a sute to you , I am going out of towne , and must send a letter to the parson of your parish , you shal not refuse to doe a stranger such fauor , as to carry it him , haply , as men may in time meet , it may lye in my lot to do you as good a turn , and for your paines I will geue you xii . d . The poore cony in meer simplicity saith , sir , I le do so much for you with al my hart , where is your letter ? I haue it not good sir redy written , but if I may intreat you to step into some tauern or alehouse , we le drink the while , and I wil write but a line or two : at this the conny stoupes , and for gréedines of the mony , and vpon courtesie goes with the setter vnto the tauern● As they walke they meet the verser , and then they all three go into the tauern together .

See Gentlemen what great Logicians these conny catchers be , that haue such rhetoricall perswasions to induce the poore countriman to his confusion , and what variety of vilanie they haue to strip the poor farmer of his mony . Wel , imagine the cony is in the tauern● then sits down the verser , saying to the setter , what sirrha , wilt thou geue me a quart of wine , or shal I geue thée one ? we le drinke a pint saith the setter , and play a game at cards for it ; respecting more the sport , then the losse , content qd. the verser , go cal for a paire , & while he is gone to fetch them , he saith to the cony , you shall sée mee fetch ouer my yong master for a quart of wine finely , but this you must do for me when I cut the cards , as I wil not cut aboue fiue of , mark then of al the greatest pack which is vndermost , and when I bid you cal a card for me , name that , & you shal sée we le make him pay for a quart of wine straight : trulie saies the cony , I am no great plaier at cards , neither doo wel vnderstand your meaning : why qd. he it is thus . I le play at mumchance , or decoy , he shal shuffle the cardes and i le cut , now eyther of vs must cal a card , you shal cal for me , & he for himselfe , and whose card comes first winnes , therefore when I haue cut the cards , then mark the nethermost of the gr●atest heape that I set vpon the cards which I cut off , and euer call that for me . O now saith the cony I vnderstand you , let me alone , I warrant you i le fit your turn , with that in comes the Setter with his cards , asking at what game they shal playe , why saith the verser at a new game called mumchance , that hath no policie nor knauerie , but plaine as a pikestaffe , you shal shufle and i le cut , you shal cal a card , and this honest man a stranger almost to vs both , shal cal another for me , & which of our cards comes first shal win : content saith the setter , that is but méer hazard , so be shufles the cards , and the verser cuts off some four cards , and then taking vp the heape to set vpon them , geueth the cony a glance of the bottom card of that heap and saith , now sir , cal for me . The cony to blinde the setters eyes , asketh as though he were not made priuie to the gam● , what , shal I cut ? what carde saith the verser ? why what yo● wil , either hart , spade , club or diamond , cotecard or other . O is it so saith the conny , why then you shal h●ue the four of harts which was the card he had a gl●unce of● and saith the setter ( holding the cards in his hand and turning vp the vppermost , as if he knew not wel ●he game ) i le hau● the knaue of trumps , nay saith the verser there is no trump , you may cal what carde you wil : then saith he il● haue the ten of spades , with that he draws● and the four of harts comes first : wel saith the setter , t is but hazard , mine might haue come as wel as yours , fiue is vp , I ●eare not the set : so they shuffle and cut , but the verser winnes . Well ●aith the setter , no butler wil cleaue on my bread : what not on● draught among fiue , Drawer a fresh pint , i le haue another bout with you : but sir I beleue , saith he to the cony , you sée some card , that it goes so crosse with me . I saith the c●ny , I hope you think not so of me , t is but hazard and chaunce , for I am a meere stranger to the game , as I am an honest man I neuer saw it before .

Thus this simple cony closeth vp smoothly to take the versers part , only for greedi●es to haue him win the wine : wel qd. the setter , then i le haue one cast more , and to it they goe , but hee loseth al , and begins to chafe in this manner : were it not quoth he , that I care not for a quart of wine , I could sweare as many othes for anger , as there be haires on my head , why should not my luck be as good as yours , and fortune fauor mee as well as you ? what not one cald card in ten cuts , i le forsweare the game for euer . Chafe not man qd. the verser , sith we haue your quarte of wine i le shew you the game , and therewith discourseth all to him , as if he were ignorant of it . The setter , as simply as if the Knaue were ignorant ●aith , ye marry I thought so , you must needs win when he knowes what card to call . I might play long inough before I got a set . Truly qd. the cony t is a pretty game , for it s not possible for him to lose that cuts the cardes , the other that shufles may lose S. Peters cope if he had it . Wel , i le carry this home with me into the countrie , and win many a potte of al● with it . A fresh pint saith the verser , and then we le away : but seeing sir you are going homewarde , i le learn you a tricke worth the noting , that shal win you many a pot in the winters nights : with that he culs out ●he ●our Knaues , and prickes one in the top , one in the midst , and one in the bottom . Now sir saith he , you see these three Knaues ppparantlie , thrust them downe with your hand , and cut where you wil , and though ●hey be so farre asunder , il● make them all come together . Let s see that I pray you saith the cony , me thinks t is impossible . So the verser drawes , and al the thrée knaues come in one heap : this he dooth once or twice , then the cony wonders at it , and offers a pinte of wine to be taught it . Nay saith the verser i le do it for thankes , and therfore mark where you haue taken out the four knaues , lay two together aboue , and draw vp one of them that it maybe seen , then prick the other in the midst , and the third in the bottom , so when any cuts , cut he neuer so warily , 3. knaues must of force come together , for the bott●m knaue is cut to lie vpon both the vpper knaues . I marrie saith the setter , but the three knaues you shewed come not together . True said the verser , but one among a thousand mark not that , it requires a quick eye , a sharp wit , and a reaching head to spie at the first . Gramercie for this trick saith the cony , i le dominere with this among my neighbors Thus do the verser and the setter seem frendly to the Cony , offering him no shew of cosenage , nor once to drawe him in for a pint of wine , the more to shadow their villanie , but now begins the sport : as thus they sit tipling comes the Barnacle & thrustes open the dore , looking into the room where they are , and as one bashful steps back againe saying , I cry you mercie gentlemen , I thought a frend of mine had been here , pardon my boldnes : no harm saith the verser , I pray you drink a cup of wine with vs and welcome : in comes the barnacle , and taking the cup , drinks to the cony , and then saith , what at cards gentlemen ? wer it not I should be offensiue to the companie , I would play for a pinte til my frend come I look for . Why sir saith the verser , if you wil sit down you shal be taken vp for a quarte of wine : with al my heart saith the barnacle , what wil you play at , Primero , primo visto , Sant , one and thirtie , new cut , or what shal be the game ? Sir saith the verser I am but an ignorant man at cards , & you haue them at your fingers end , i le play with you at a game that hath no deceit , called mumchance at cards , and it is thus : you shal shufle , and i le cut , you shal cal one card , and this honest yeoman shal cal another for me , and which of our cards comes first shal win , here you see is no deceit , and at this ile play . No truely saith the Conie , me thinkes there can be no great craft in this . Wel saith the barnacle for a pint of wine haue at you : so they play as before , fiue vp , and the verser winnes . This is hard luck saith the barnacle , and I beléeue the honest man spies some card in the bottom , therefore I will make this , alwaies to prick the bottom card : content saith the verser : and the cony to cloake the matter saith● sir , you offer me iniurie to think that I can call a card , when I neither touch them , ●hufle , cut , nor draw them . Ah sir saith the barnacle , geue losers leaue to speake : wel , to it they go again , & then the barnacle knowing the çame best , by chopping a card winnes two of the fiue , but lets the verser win the set : then in a chaf● he sweareth t is but his il luck , and he can sée no deceit in it , therfore he wil play xii . d . a cut . The verser in content , and wins ii . or iii. s. of the barnacle , whereat he chafes and saith , I came bether in an il houre , but i le win my monie again , or lose al in my purse , with that he draws out a purs with some thrée or four pound and claps on the boord : the verser asketh the conie secretlie by signes if he wil be his halfe , he saies yea , and straight séekes for his purse . The Barnacle shufles the cardes throwlie , and the verser cuts as before , the barnacle , when hee hath drawen one card saith , i le either winne something or lose something , therfore i levie and reuie euerie card at my pleasure til either yours or mine come out , therfore xii . d . vpon this card , my card comes first . No saith the verser , and saith the Connie I durst laie xii . d . more . I hold it saith the barnacle : so they vi● and reuie til some ten shillings be on the stake : ●nd then next comes foorth the versers card that the conie called , and so the barnacle los●th . This flesheth the conie , the swée●nes of gaine makes him ●ro●ike , and none more redy to vie and reuie then he . Thus for thrée or four times the barnacle loseth . At last to whet on the conie he striketh his chopt card and winneth a good stake : away with the witch cries the barnacle , I hope the cards wil turne at last . Much thinks the conie , t was but a chance you askt so right one of the fiue that was cut off , there was fourtie to one on my side , and i le haue you on the lurch anon . So stil they vie & reuie and for once that the barnacle winnes , the conie gets fiue : at last when they mean to shaue the conie cleane of al his coine , th● barnacle chafeth , and vpon a pawn boroweth monie of the tapster , and sweares he will vie it to the vttermost . Then thus hé● chops his card to cros-bite the conie : he first looks on the bottom card , and shufles often , but stil kéeping that bottom card , which he knowes to be vppermost , then sets he downe the cards , and the verser to encourage the conie , cuts off but thrée cards , wherof the barnacles card must needes be the vppermost . Then hée shewes the bottom card of the other heap cut off to the connie , & sets it vpon the barnacles card which ●e knowes , so that of ●orc● the card that was laid vpermost must c●me foorth first , and then the barnacle cals that card . They draw a card , and they the barnacle vies , and the countriman vies vpon him : for this is the law● as oft as one vies or reuies , the other must sée it , els hee looseth the stake . Wel at last the barnacle plies it so , that perhaps hée vies more monie then the conie hath in his purse . Upon this the conie knowing his card is the third or fo●rth card , and that he hath fortie to one against the barnacle , pawnes his rings if he haue anie , his sworde , his cloake , or els what hee hath about him , to maintein the vie : and when he laughs in his sléene , thinking he hath fléest the barnacle of all , then the barnacles carde comes foorth , and strikes such a cold humor to his heart , that hé● sits as a man in a traunce , not knowing what to doe , & sighing while his heart is redie to breake , thinking on the monie that he hath lost . Perhaps the man is very simple and patient , and whatsoeuer he thinkes , for feare goes his way quiet with his losse while the Connicatchers laugh and deuide the spoile , and being out of dores , poore man , goes to his lodging with a heauie heart , pensiue and sorowful , but too late , for perhappes his state did depend on that monie , and ●o he , his wife and children , & his familie , are brought to extreame miserie . Another perhappes more hardie and subtle , smokes the connicatchers , and smelleth cosenage , and saith they shal not haue his monie so , but they answere him with braues , and though hee bring them before an officer , the Knaues are so fauoured , that the man neuer recouereth his monie , and he is let slip vnpunisht .

Thus are the poore conies robbed by these base minded Caterpillers : thus are seruingmen oft entised to play , and lose all : thus are prentises induced to be connies , and so are cosened of their masters monie : yea yong gentlemen , marchants , & other , are fetcht in by these damnable rakehels , a plague as ill as hell , which is , present losse of monie , and insuing miserie . A lamentable case in England when such vipers are suffered to br●ede , and are not cut off with the sword of iustice . This enormity is not onlie in London , but now generallie dispersed through all England , in euerie Shire , Citie , and Towne of any receipt , and manie complaintes are heard of their egregious cosenage . The poore farm●● simplie going about his busines , or vnto his att●rneis chamber , is catcht vp and cosened of all : the seruingman sent with his Lords treasu●e , loseth ofttimes most part to these wormes of the commonwealth : the prentise hauing his masters monie in charge , is spoiled by them , and from an honest seruant , either driuen to run away , or to liue in discredite for euer . The gentleman loseth his land , the marchant his stock , and al to these abhominable conicatchers , whose meanes is as il as their liuing , for they are al either wedded to whores , or so addicted to whores , that what they get from honest men , they spend in bawdie houses among harlots , and consume it as vainlie as they get it villanouslie . Their eares are of adamant , as pittiles a● they are trecherous , for be the man neuer so poore , they will not returne him one pennie of his losse . I remember a mery iest done of late to a welchman , who being a méer stranger in London , and not wel acquainted with the English tongue , chanced amongst certaine conicatchers , who spying the gentleman had monie , they so dealt with him , that what by signes and broken English , they got him in for a conie , and fléest him of euerie peny that he had , and of his sword : at last the man smoakt them , and drew his dagger vpon them at Ludgate , for therabout they had catcht him , and would haue stabd one of them for his mony , but people stopt him , the rather because they could not vnderstande him , though he had a card in one hand , and his dagger in the other , saying as wel as he could , a card , a card , mon dien . In the mean while the conicatchers were got into pauls , and so away , The welchman folowed them séeking there vp and down in the church ●til with his naked dagger and the card in his hand , the gentlemen maruele what he meant thereby : at last one of his countrimen met him , and enquired the cause of his choler , then he told him how he was cosened at cards , and robd of al his monie , but as his losse was voluntarie , so his séeking for them was meere vanitie , for they were stept into some blind al●hous● to deuide the shares . Néere to S. Edmondsburie in Suffolk , there dweit an honest man a shoomaker , who hauing some xx . markes in his purse , long in gathering , and néerelie kept , came to the market to buy hides , and by chance fell amongst Conicat●hers , whose names I omit because I hope of their amendment . This paine Countriman draw●n in by these former deuises , was made a cony , & stript of his xx . mark , to his vn●●ing : the Knaues scapt , and he went home a sorowful man . Soon after one of these co●icatchers was taken for a suspected person , and laid in Bury gaole● the sessions coming , and he produced to the bar , it was the poor shomakers fortune to be there , who séeing this rogne arrained , was glad , and said nothing to him● looking what woulde be the issue of his appearance . At last he was brought before the Iustices to be examined of his life , and being demaunded what occupation he was , said none , what profession then are you of , & how liue you ? Marrie quoth ●e I am a gentleman , and liue of my ●rends . That s a lie qd. the shomaker , vnder correction of the worshipful of the bench , you haue a trade , and are by your art a conicatcher . A Conicatcher said one of the Iustices and smiled , is he a warriner felow , canst thou tel whose warren he kéepeth● No sir your worship mistaketh me , he is not a warriner , but a conicatcher . The bench , that neuer heard this name before , smiled , attributing the name to the mans simplicitie , thought hée meant a warriner : which the poore man séeing , answered , the som● conies this felow caught were worth xx . mark a péece , for proofe qd. he . I am one of them , and so discourst the order of the art , and the basenes of the cosenage : wherupon the Iustices looking into his life , iudged him to be whipt : the shomaker desired he might geue him his paiment , which was granted . When he came to his punishment the shomaker laught saying , t is a mad worlde when poor Conies are able to beat their catchers : but hee lent him so frendlie lashes , that almost he made him pay an ounce of bloud for euery pound of siluer . Thus we sée how the generation of these vipers increase , to the confusion of many honest men , whose practises to my poor power I haue discouered and set out , with the vilainous s●eights they vse to intray the simple , yet haue they clokes for the rain , and shadows for their vilani●s , calling it by the name of art or law : as conicatching art , or conicatching law . And hereof it riseth , that like as law , when the term is truly considered , signifieth the ordinance of good men , established for the commonwelth , to represse vicious liuing , so these conicatchers turn the cat in the pan , geuing to vile patching shifts● an honest & godlie title , calling it by the name of a law , because by a multitude of hateful rules , as it were in good learning , they do exercise their villani●s to the destruction of sundry honest persons . Hereupon they geue their false conueyance the name of Conny-catching law , as there be also other lawes : as high law , sacking law , ●●gging law , cheting law , and barnardes law . If you mar●el at these misteries and queint words , consider , as carpenters haue many tearmes familiar inough to their prentises , that other vnderstand not at all , so haue the connycatchers not without great cause , for a falshood once detected , can neuer compasse the desired effect . Therefore wil I presently acquaint you with the signification of the tearmes in a table . But leauing them til time and place , comming downe Turnmill stréet the other day , I met one whom I suspected a connycatcher , I drew him on to the tauern , and after a cup of wine or two , I talkt with him of the manner of his life , and tolde him I was sory for his frendes sake , that he tooke so bad a course as to liue vpon the spoyle of poore men , and specially to deserue the name of conny-catching , disswading him from that base kind of life , that was so ignominious in the world , and so lothsome in the sight of God , Tut sir , quoth he , calling me by my name , as my religion is small , so my deuotion is lesse , I leaue God to be disputed on by diuines , the two ends I aime at , are gain & ease , but by what honest gaines I may get , neuer comes within the compasse of my thoughtes . Though your experience in trauell be great , yet in home matters mine is more : yea I am sure you are not so ignorant , but you know that few men can liue vprightly , vnlesse they haue some prety way more then the world is witnes to to help themselues withal . Think you some lawyers coulde be such purchasers if al their pleas were short , and their procéedinges iustice and conscience ? that offices would be so dearely bought , and the buyer so soon enriched , if they counted not pillage an honest kinde of purchase ? or think you that men of handy trades make all their commodities without falshood , when so many of them are become daily purchasers ? nay what wil you more ? who so hath not some sinister way to help● himselfe , but followeth his nose alwaies straight forward , may wel hold vp the head for a yeare or two , but the third he must needes sinke , and gather the winde into beggars hauen : therefore sir , cease to perswade me to the contrarie , for my resolution is to beat my wits , and busis my braines to saue and help me , by what meanes so euer I care not so I may auoid the danger of the law . Whereupon seeing this conny-catcher resolued in his forme of life , leauing him to his lewdnes I went away , wondering at the basenes of their mind● , that would spende their time in such detestable sort . But no maruel , for they are geuen vp into a reprobate sence , and are in religion meere at heists , as they are in trade flat dissemblers , if I should spend many sheetes in deciphering their shifts , it were friuelous , in that they be many and ful of variety , for euery day they inuent new tricks , and such queint deuises as are secrete , yet passing da●gerous , that if a man had Argus eyes , hee coulde scant prie into th● bottom of their practises . Thus for the benefit of my countrie I haue briefly discouered the law of conycatching , de●●ring all Iustices , if any such coseners light in your precinct , euen to vse summum ius against them , because it is the basest of all villanies . And that London prentices , if they chā●● in such conycatchers company , may teach them London lawe , that is , to defend the poore men that are wronged , and learn the caterpillers the high way to newgate , where if Hind fauor them with the heauies● 〈◊〉 in the house , and geue them his vnkindest entertainment , 〈◊〉 doubt his other pety sinnes shall bee halfe pardoned for his labor : but I would it might be their fortune to happen into Nobles northward in white chappel , there in faith round Robin his dep●●●● would make them , like wretches , feele the weight of his heau●●●● fetters . And so desiring both honourable and worshipful , as wel Iustices as other officers , and all states , from the Prince to the begger , to rest professed enemies to these base-minded conny-catchers , I take my leaue .