IT was iust at that time when the Cuckoulds quir rister began to bewray Aprill Gentlemen , with his neuer chaunged notes , that I damped with a melan choly humor , went into the fields to cheere vp my wits with the fresh aire : where solitarie séeking to solace my selfe I fell in a dreame , and in that drowsie slomber , I wandered into a vale a●… tap●…stted with swéet and choice fl●…wers , there grew many simples whose vertues taught men to be 〈◊〉 & to think nature by her wéeds warnd men to be wary and by their secret properties to check wanton and sensuall imperfections . Amongst the rest , there was the yellow daffadil , a flowre fit for gelous Dottrels , who through the bew●…y of their honest wiues grow suspitious , & so proue themselues in the end cuckhold Neretikes , there buded out the checket●… ( Paunsie ) or partly coloured harts ea●…e , an herbe sildome ●…éene , either of such men as are wedded to threwes or of such women that haue hasty husbands , yet ther it grew , and as I stept to gather it , it slipt from me like Tantalus fruit that failes their maister . At last , woondring at this secret qualitie , I learned that none can weare it , be they kinges , but such as desire no more then they are borne to , nor haue their wishes aboue their fortun●…s . U●…pon a banke bordring by , grewe womens weedes , fenell 〈◊〉 fo●… flatterers , fit generally for that Sexe , sith while they are maidens , they wishe wantonly : while they are wiues they will wilfully , while they are widowes , they would willingly : and yet all the●…e proud desires , are but close dissemblinges . Neere adioyning sprouted out the Courtiers comfort , Time : An herb that many stumble on and yet ouet slip , whose rancke sauor and thick leaues , haue this peculiar property , to make a snaile if she tast of the sappe as swift as a swallow , yet toyned with this prei●…dice , that if she clime too hastily , she fals too suddenly . Mée thought I saw diuers yong courtiers tread vppon it with high dis●…aine , but as they past away , an Adder lurking there bit them by the ●…éeles that they wept : and then I might perceiue certaine clownes in clowted shoone gather it , & ease of it with gréedinesse : which no sooner was sunke into their mawes , but they were metamorphose●… , and loookt as prouidly●… though pesants , as if they had béene borne to be princes companions .

Amongst the rest of these changlings whome the tast of time ha●… thus altered , there was some that lifted their heades so hie , as if they ha●… beene bred to locke n●… lower then stars , they thought Noli altum sapere was rather the saying of a foole , then the censure of a Philosopher , and therfore stretcht themselues on their tiptoes , as if they had beene a kindred to the lord Liptoft , and began to disdain their equals , scorne their inferiours , and euen their betters , forgetting now that time had taught them to say masse , how before they had playde the Clarks part to say Amen to the priest . Tush , then they were not so little as Gentlemen , and their owne conceipt was the Herralde to blason their descente , from an olde house , whose great grandfathers would haue bin glad of a new cottage to hide their heades in . Yet as the peacocke wrapt in the pride of his beautious feathers is knowne to be but a dunghill birde by his foule feete : so though the high lookes and costly suts argue to the eies of the world they were Caualiers of great worship , yet the churlish illiberalitie of their mindes , bewraide their fathers were not aboue thrée poundes in the kinges bookes at a subsidie , but as these vpstart changelings went strouting like philopolim●…rchides the bragart in Plautus , they lookte so proudlye at the same , that they stumbled on a bed of Rue , that grewe at the bottome of the banke where the Time was planted , which fall vpon the dew of so bitter an herbe , taught them that such proud peacockes as ouer hastily out run their fortunes at last to spéedily , fall to repentaunce and yet some of them smild & said Rue was called herbe grace , which though they scorned in their youth , they might weare in their age , & it was neuer too late to say Miserere . As thus I sto●…d mus●…nge at this time borne broad , they vanisht away like Cadmus copesmates , that sprang by of vipers téeth , so that casting mine eie aside after them , I saw where a crew of all estates were gathering flowers , what kind they were of I knewe not , but pretious , I geste them in that they pluckt them with gréedinesse , so that I drew towards them to be partaker of their profits , comming néerer , I might sée the weede they so wrangled for , was a little daper flowre , like a ground hunnisuckle , called thrift , praised generally of all , but practised for distillation but of few amongst the crue that seemed couetous of this herbe , ther was a troope of old graiberds in veluet , sattin , and woorsted iackets , that stooped as nimbly to pluck it vp by the rootes , as if their wyats had bene supled in the oile of Misers skins , they spared no labor & paines to get and gather , and what they got they gaue to certaine yong boies and girles ●…hat stood behinde them , with their skirtes and laps ope●… to receiue it : among whome some scattered it as fast as their fathers gathered it , wasting and spoyling it at their pleasure , which their fathers got with labour .

I thought them to be some Harbalistes or some Apothecaries that had imployed such paines to extract some rare quintessence out of this floure , but one standing by told me they were Cormorantes and vs●…rers , that gathered it to fill their ●…ofers with , & whereto ( quoth I ) is it pretious ? what is the vertue of it ? mary ( quoth he ) to quali●…ie the heat of insatiable mindes that like the serpente Dipsas neuer drinketh enough till they are so full they burste , why then saide I the Diuel●… burst them all , and with that I fell into a great laughter , to sée certain Italianate Cantes , humorous Caualiers , youthfull Gentlemen , and Inamorati gagliardi , that scornefully pluckt of it , and wore it a while as if they were weary of it and at last le●…t it as to base a flower to put in their nosegayes . Others that séemed Homini di grand issima by their lookes and their walkes gathered earn●…stly and did pocket it vp , as if they meant to keepe it carefully , but as they wer carrieng it away , there met them a troupe of nice wantons , faire women that like to Lamiae had f●…ces like Angels , ●…ies like s●…ars , brestes like the golden front in the Hesperides , but from the middle downwards their shapes like serpents . These with Syrenlike alluremente so entised these quaint squires , that they bestowed all their flowers vppon them for fauours , they themselues walkinge home by beggars bushe for a pennance . Amongst this crew were Lawyers and they gathered the Diuell and all , but poore poets wer●… thrust backe and 〈◊〉 not bee suffered to haue one handefull to put amongst their withered garlands of baies , to make them glorious . But Hob and Iohn of the countrey they stept in churlishly , in their high startvps , and gathered whole sackfuls : ●…somuch they wore bóesoms of Thrist in their Hat●… like for ●…horses , or the lusty Gallants in a Morrice dance : séeing the crue thus to wrangle for so paltry a wéede , I went alone to take one of all the other fragrante flowers that diapred this valley , thereby I saw the Batchelers ●…uttons , whose vertue is to make wanton maidens weepe when they haue worne it forty weekes vnder their aporne for a ●…auour ;

Next them grew the dessembling daisse , to warne such light of lou●… wenches not to trust euery ●…aire promise that 〈◊〉 amorous batchelers make them , but swéete smels bréed bitter repentaunce . Hard by grew the true louers primrose , whose kind sauour wisheth men to b●… faithfull and women courteous . Alongst in a border grew maiden-hair fit for modest maidens to beholde , and immedest to blushe at , bicause it praiseth the one for their naturall Tre●…ses , and condemneth the other for their beas●…ly and counterfeit Perriwigs , there was the gentle gilliflowre that wiues should weare if they were not too froward ; and laiall Lauender , but that was full of Cuckoe . spittes , to ●…how that womens light thoghts make their husbands heuy beads : there were swéete Lillies Gods plenty , which shewed faire 〈◊〉 néed not wéepe for wooers , and store of balme which could cure 〈◊〉 wounds , only not that wound which women receiue when they loose their maidenheads , for no herbe hath vertue inough to scrape out that blot , and therfore it is the greater 〈◊〉 Infinit were the flowers beside that beautified the valley , that to know their names and opera ●…ons I needed some curious herball , but I passe them ouer as needelesse , sith the vision of their vertues was but a dreame , and therefore I wish no man to holde any discourse herein authenticall , yet thus much I must say for a parting blow , that at the lower end of the dale I saw a great many of women vsing high wordes to their husbands , some striuing for the bré●…ches , other to haue the last 〈◊〉 , some sretting , they could not find a knot in a rush , others striuinge whether it were wooll or haire the Goat bare : questioning with on that I met , why these women were so cholericke , he like a 〈◊〉 fellow pointed to a bush of 〈◊〉 , I not willing to be satisfied by signes , asked him what he meant thereby . Mary ( quoth hee ) all these women that your heare brawling frowning and scolding thus , haue seuerally p●…st on this bushe of nettles , and the vertue of them is to force a woman that waters them to bee as péeuish for a whole day & as waspish as if she had bene stung in the brow with a hornet . Well , I smild at this and left the company to séeke further , when in the twincklinge of an eye I was left alone , the valley cléered of all company , & I a distressed man , 〈◊〉 to wander out of that solitary place to seeke good 〈◊〉 & beene companions to passe away the day withall . As thus . I walked forward , séeking vp the hill , I was driuen halfe into a mase with the imagination of a strange wonder which fell out thus : Mée thought I saw an 〈◊〉 headlesse thing●…●…ome pacing 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the hill stepping so proudly with such a geometricall grace , as if seme artificiall bragart had resolued to measure the world with his pares : I could not descrie it to be a man , although it had motion , for that it wanted a body , yet séeing legges and hose , I supposed it to bee some monster nurishte vp in those deserts , at last as it drewe more nigh vnto nigh , I might perceiue that it was a very passing costly paire of Ueluct breeches , whose panes being made of the chéesest Neapolitane stuffe , was drawne out with the best Spanish fatine , and maruellous curiously ouer wipt with gold twist , intersemed wit●… knots of pearle , the Netherstocke was of the pure●…t Grauade ●…ilck , no cost was spared to ●…est out these costly bréeches , who had girt vnto them a Kapyer and Dagger gilt , point 〈◊〉 , as quaintly as if some curious Florentine bad trickte them vp to square it vp and downe the streetes before his Mistresse . As these bréeches were exceeding 〈◊〉 to the e●…e , so were they passing pompo●…s in their ge●…tures , 〈◊〉 they strouted vp and downe the Ually as 〈◊〉 a●…though they ●…ad there appointed to act some desperat combat .

Blame mée not if I were driuen into a muse with this most monstrous sight to sée in that place such a straunge headlesse Courtier ●…ettinge vp and d●…wne like the Usher of a Fence 〈◊〉 about to play his Prise , when I deeme neuer in any age such a woonderfull obiect fortuned vnto an●… man before . Well , the greater dumpe this Nouelty draue mée into , the more desire I had to sée what euent woulde follow : where vpon looking about to se if that any more company ●…ould come , I might perceiue from the top of the other hill an other payre of Bréeches more soberly marching , and with a softer pace , as if they were not too hasty , and yet would keepe promise neuerthelesse at the place appointed . As soone as they were come into the vallie , I sawe they were a plaine paire of Cloth bréeches , without either welt or garde , straight to the thigh of white kersie , without a slop , the netherstocke of the same , sewed too aboue the knée , and onely seamed with a littell countrie blewe , such as in Di●…bus illis our great Grandfathers more , when neighbour hood and hospitalitie had banisht Pride out of England . Nor were these plaine bréeches weaponlesse , for they had a good sower bat with a pike in the end , able to lay on load inough , if the hart were answerable to the weapon , and vpon this staffe pitcht downe vpon the ground , Clothbréeches stood solemnly leaning , as if they ment not to start , but to answere to the vttermost whatsoeuer in that place might be obiected . Looking vpon these two , I might 〈◊〉 by the pride of the one , and homely resolution of the other that this their meeting would grow to some dangerous conflict , and therefore to preuent the fatall issue of such a pretended quarell , I stept betwene them both , when Ueluet bréeches gréeted Cloth bréeches with this salutation . Proud and insolent pesant , how darest thou without leaue or lowe reuerence presse into the place whether I am come for to disport my selfe ? Art thou not afraide ? thy high presumption should sommon me to displeasure , and so force me draw my rapier , which is neuer vnsheathed but it turnes into the scabberd with a triumph of mine enimies bloud : bold bayard auaunt , beard mee not to my face , for this time I pardon thy folly , and grant thy legges leaue to carry away thy life . Cloth bréeches nothing amased at this brauado , bending his staffe as if he meant ( if he were wronged ) to bestow his benison , with a scornefull kind of smiling made this smooth reply : Mary gip goodman vpstart , who made your father a Gentleman , soft fire makes sweet mault , the curstest Cow hath the shortest hornes , and a brawling curre , of all bites the least , alas good sir , are you so fine that no man may be your fellow , I pray you what defference is betwéene you and mee but in the cost and the making , though you bee neuer so richly daubde with gould and powdred with Pearle , yet you are but a case for the butfockes , and a couer for the basest part of a mans body no more then I , the greatest preheminence is in the garnishing and thereof you are proud , but come to the true vse we were appointed to , my honor is more then thine , for I belong to the old auncient yeomanry , yea and gentility , the fathers , and thou to a companie of proud and vnmanerly vpstarts the sonnes . At this , Ueluet-bréeches stormd and said . Why thou beggars brat descended from the reuersion of base pouertye , is thy insolency so great to make comparison with me , whose difference is as great as the brightnesse of the sunne and the slender light of a candle : I ( poore snake ) am sprung from the ancient Romans , borne in Italy the mistresse of the world for chiualrie , cald into England from my natiue home ( where I was famous ) to honour your countrie and yong gentlemen here in England with my countenaunce , where I am holden in high regarde , that I can presse into the presence when thou poore soule shalt with cap and knée beg leaue of the porter to enter , and I sit and dine with the Nobility , when thou art faine to wait for the reuers●…on of the almes basket : I am admited boldly to tell my tale , when thou art fain to sue by means of suplication , and that and thou to , so litle regarded , that most commonly it neuer comes to the Princes hand , but dies inprisoned in so●… obscure pocket : Sith then ther is such defference betwene our estates , cease to vrge my patience with thy insolent presumption . Cloth bréeches as bréefe as hee was proud , swore by the pike of his staffe , that his choplogicke was not worth a pinne , and that he would turne his one weapon into his bosome thus , Why signor Glorioso ( quoth hee ) though I haue not such glosing phrase to trick out my speeches withall as you , yet I will come ouer your fallowes with this bad the. thoricke : I pray you Mounsier Malapart are you therefore my superiour , because you are taken vp with Gentlemen , and I with the yeomanry ? Doth true vertue consist in riches , or humanity in welth ? is auncient honour tied to ontward brauery ? or not rather true Nobility , a mind excellently qualified with rare vertues ? I will teach thée a lesson worth the hearing , proud princocks , how Gentility ●…rst sprung vpe , I will not forget the olde wiues logick , when Adam delvd and Eue span , who was then a Gentleman ? but I tel thée after the generall floode that there was no more men vpon the earth but Noe and his thrée sonnes , and that Cham had wickedly discouere●… his fathers secrets then grew the diuision of estates thus : The church was figured in Sem , Gentilitye in Iapheth , and labour and drudgerie in Cham : Sem being chast and holy , Iapheth learned and valiaunt , C ham churlish and seruile , yet did not the turse extend so far vpon Cham , nor the blesing vpon Iapheth , but if the one altered his nature , & became either indued with learning or valour he might be a gentleman , or if the other degenerated from his auntient vertues , hee might be heald a pesaunt , wherevpon Noe inferred that gentility grew not only by propagation of nature , but by perfection of qualities Then is your worship wide that boast of your worth for your gold & pearle , sith Cucullus non facit Monachum , nor a Ueluet ●…lop make a slouen a gentleman : And whereas thou sayst thou wert borne in Italy , & called hither by our courtiers , him may we curse that brought thée first into Englande , for thou camest not alone but acompanied with a multitude of abhominable vices , hanging to thy bumbast nothing but infectious abuses , as vaine-glorie , selfeloue , ●…mie , and strang poisonings , wherewith thou hast infected this glorious Iland , yea insolent bragart : thou hast defiled thine one neast , and fatal was the day of thy byrth , for since the time of thy hatching in Italy , as 〈◊〉 famous for chinalrey and learninge , the imperiall state through thy pride hath decayed , and thou hast like the yo●…nge Pellican peckt at thy mothers brest with thy presumption , causing them to lose that their forefathers with true honor conquered , so hast thou beene the ruine of the Romane Empyre , and nowe fatally art thou come into Englande to atempte haete the like subuersion . Whereas thou doost boast that I am little regarded where thou art highly acounted of , and hast sufferance to presse into the presence , when I am for my simplenesse shut out of dore , I grant thy all●…gation in part , but not in wholè , for men of high wisdome and honour measure not men by the outward shewe of brauery , but by the inward worth and honesty , and so though I am disdained of a few ouer weening fooles , I am valued as well as thy selfe with the wise . In that thou sayst thou canst speake when I sue by supplication , I grant it , but the tale thou telst is to the ruine of the poore , for comming into high fauour with an im pudent face , what farme is there expired , whose lease thou doo●… not begge ? what forfeite of penall statutes ? what consealed landes can ouerslip thée ? yea rather then thy brauery should faile begge powling pence for the verye smooke that comes out of poore mens chemnies , shamest thou not vplan●…ish vpstart to heare me discourse thy imperse●…ions , get thoe home againe into thy owne country , and let me as I was wont liue famous in my natiue home in England where I was borne and bred , yea and bearded Caesar thy co●…ntryman til he compast the conquest by treason . The right and title in this country base brat ( qd veluet bréeches ) now authority fauours me , I am admitted viceroy , & I will make thée do me homage , & confesse that thou heldst thy being and residence in my land from the gratious sauour of my sufferance , and with that he laid hold on the hilts of his rapyer , and cloth bréeches bet●…ke him to his staff , when I stepping betwixt them parted them thus . Why what meane ye , will you decide your controuersie by blowes , when you may debate it by reason , this is a land of peace , gouerned by true iusticiaries & honorable magistrats , where you shall haue equitie without partiality , and therefore listen to me & discusse the matter by lawe , your quarrell is , whether of you are most antient and most worthy , you sir , boast of your country and parentage , he of his natiu●… birth in England , you claime al , he would haue but his owne , both plead anobsolute title of residence in this country , the●… must the course betwéene you be trespasse or disseison of franke tenament , you Ueluet bréeches in that you claime the fir●… title you shall bee plaintiffe , and plead a trespasse of desseison doone you by cloth bréeches , so shall it be brought to a iurie , and tried by a verdict of twelue or fower and twenty . Tush , tush , quoth Ueluet bréeches , I neither like to be plaintiffe , nor yet allow of a iurie , for they may be partiall , and so condemne me in mine ●…wne action , for the country swaines cannot value of my worth nor can mine honors come within the compasse of their base wits , because I am a stranger in this land , ●… but heere latly ariued , they wil hold me as an vpstart , & so lightly esteeme of my worthinesse , and for my aduersary is their countriman & lesse chargeable , hee shall haue the lawe mitigated , if a iury of hinds or pesaunts should bee inpanelled , if antient Gentlemen , yeomen , or plaine ministers should bee of the quest I were sure to lose the day because they loath mee , in that I haue perswaded so many landlordes for the maintenance of my brauerie to raise their rentes . You seeke a knot in a rush ( qd. I ) you néed not doubt of that , for whome you distrust & think not indifferent , him you vpon a cause manifested , challeng from your iurie , If your law allowe such large fauour ( quoth Ueluet bréeches ) I am content my title be tried by a iurie , and therefore let mine aduersary plead me Nul tort Nul disseison Cloth bréeches was content with this , and so they both agr●… I should bee iud●…e and iuror in this controuersie , wherevpon I wishe them to say for themselues what they could , that I might discours to the Jurie what reasons they alledged of their Tutes : then Ueluet bréeches began thus . I cannot but greeue that I should be thus outfacst with a carters weed onely fit for husbandry , seeing I am the originall of al honourable endeuors : to what end doth youth bestow their witts on law , phisicke , or Theology , were it not the ende they aime at , is the wearing of me and wining of preferment , Honor norisheth Art , and for the regarde of dignity , do learned men striue to exceede in their faculty . Impiger extremos currit Mercator ad indos , Per mare , per saxa , &c. What driues the merchants to seeke forr●…n martes , to venter their goods and hazard their liues ? not , if still the end of their trauell were a paire of cloth bréeches , no , veluet , costly atire , curious and quaint apparell is the spur that prickes them forward to attempt such daunger . Doth not the Souldiors fight to be braue , the Lawyer study to countenance himselfe with cost , the artificer takes paines only for my sake that wearing me he may brag it amongst the best , what credite carries he now adaies that goes pind vp in a Cloth bréech , who will keepe him companie that thinkes well of himselfe , vnlesse he vse the simple slaue to make cleane his shoone , the worlds are chaungde and men are growen to more wit , and their mindes to aspire after more honorable thoughts , they were Dunces in Diebus illis , they had not the true vse of gentility , and therefore they lived meanely and died obscurely , but now mennes capacities are refined , time hath set a new edge on gentlemens humors , and they shew them as they should bee , not like glottons as their fathers did , in chines of béefe and almes to the poore , but in veluets , sattins , cloth of gold , pearle , yea pearle lace , which scarse Caligula wore on his birth day , and to this honourable humor haue I brought these gentlemen since I came from Italy . what is the end of seruice to a man but to countenance himselfe and credite his maister with braue suites , the scuruy tapsters and ostlers sex populi fill pots , and rubbe horseheeles , to prancke themselues with my glory , alas were it not to wear me , why would so many apply them selues to extraordinary idlenes ? Beside , I make fooles be reuerenst , and thought wise amongst the common sort , I am a seuere sensor to such as offend the law , prouided there be a penalty annexed that may bring in some profite , yea by me the chéefest part of the realme is gouerned , and therefore I refer my title to the verdit of any men of iudgment . To this mildly Cloth bréeches aunswered thus .

As I haue had alwayes that honest humor in mee to measure all estates by their vertues , not by their apparell , so did I neuer grudge at the brauery of any whome birth , time , place , or dignity made worthy of such costly ornaments , but if by the fauour of their Prince and their owne desarts they merited them , I helde both lawfull and commendable to answere their degrees in apparell , correspondent vnto their dignities , I am not so precise directly to inueigh against the vse of veluet , either in bréeches or in other sutes , nor will I haue men goelike Iohn Baptist , in coates of Camels hair . Let Princes haue their Diademes , and Caesar what is due to Caesar , let Noblemen goe as their byrth requires , and Gentlemen as they are borne or beare office , I speake in mine owne defence , for the antient Gentilitye and yeomanrie of Englande , and inueigh against none , but such malapart vpstart as raised vp from the Plough , or aduanced for their Italian deuises , or for their witlesse wealth , couet in brauerye to match , nay to excéed the greatest Noblemen in this land .

But leauing this digression mounster veluet bréeches , againe to the perticulars of your fond allegation . Whereas you affirme your selfe to be both original and final end of learning , alas proud princox you pearch a bow to hie , did all the philosophers beat their braines , and busie their wits to weare veluet bréeches ? Why both at that time thou wert vnknowne , yea vnborne , and all excesse in apparell had in high contempt , and nowe in these daies all men of worth , are taught by reading , that excesse is a great sin : that pride is the first step to the downefall of shame . They study with Tully , that they may seem●… borne for their countries as well as for themselues . The Deuine to iustice , the Phisition to discouer the secretes of Godes wonders , by working strange cures : to be bréefe , the end of all being , as to knowe God , And not as your worship good maister veluet bréeches wrest●… to créep into acquaintance .

I will not denie , but there be as fantasticall fooles as your selfe , that perhaps are puft vp with such presuming thoughts , and ambitiously aime to trick themselues in your worships masking sutes , but while such climbe for great honours , they often fall to great shames . It may be therevpon you bring in Honos alit Artes , but I gesse your maistership neuer tried what true honour meant , that trusse it vpe within the compasse of a paire of veluet●… bréeches , and place it in the arrogancy of the hart , no , no : say honor is idolatry , for they make ●…ooles of themselues , and idols of their carcases : but he that valueth honour so , shall reade a lecture out of Apuleius golden asse , to learne him more wit . But now sir by your leaue , a blow with your next argument which is , that marchants hazard their goods and liues to be acquainted with your maistership . Indéed you are awrie for wise men frequent marts for profit not for pride , vnlesse it be some , that by wearing of veluet bréeches and apparell too high for their calling , haue prooued bankeroutes in their youth , and haue beene glad in their age to desire my acquaintance , and to trusse vp their tailes in homespun russet : whereas thou dost obiect the valour of hardy souldiers to grow for the desire of braue apparell . T is false , and I knowe if any were present , they would proue vpon thy bones that thou wert a lier : for their countreys good , their princes seruice , the defence of their frends the hope of fauor is the finall ende of their resolutions : estéeming not only them but the worlds glory , fickle , transitory , & inconstant . Shal I fetch from thine own country , weapons to wound thy selfe withall . What saist thou to Cincinnatus , was he not caled to be Dictator from the Plough , and after many victories , what did he iet vp and downe the court incosty garments and veluet bréeches ? No , he dispised dignitie , contemned vaine glorie and pride , and returned againe to his quiet contented life in the country . How much did Caius Fabritius value their Numa pompilius , Sceuola , Scipio , Epaminondas , Aristides , they held themselues wormes meate , and counted pride vanity , and yet thou art not ashamed to say , thou art the ende of soldiours worthy honor . I tell thée sawcy skipiack , it was a good and a blessed time here in England , when K. Stephen wore a pair of cloth breeches of a Noble a payre , and thought them passing costlye , then did hee count Westminster hal to litle to be his dining chamber & his almes was not bare bones , in stead of broken meat but lusty chines of beefe fel into the poore mens basket . Then charity flourished in the Court , and yoong Courtiers str●…ue to excéede one an other in vertue , not in brauery : they rode not with fans to ward their faces from the wind , but with Burgant to resist the stroke of a Battleaxe , they could then better exhort a soldior to armor then court a lady with amorets , they caused the trumpette to sounde them pointes of warre , not Poets to write them wanton Eligies of loue : they soght after honorable fame , but hunted not after fading honor : which distinction by the way take thus . There be some that seeke honour , and soome are sought after by honor . Such vpstarts as fetch their pedigrée from their fathers auncient leather apron , and créepe into the court with great humility , redy at the first Basciare li piedi di la vostra signoria hauing gotten the countenance of some Nobleman , will strait be a kindred to Cadwaller , and sweare his great grand mother was one of the Burgesses of the parliamente house , will at last steale by degrees into some credite by their double diligence , and then winde some woorshipfull place as far as a hungry sow can smell a sir reuerence , and then with all their frends séeke day and night with coyne and countenance till they haue got it . Others there be whome honor it selfe séekes , and such be they whome vertue doth frame fit for that purpose , that rising by high desarts , as learning , or valour , merite more then eyther they looke for , or their prince hath anye ease conueniently to bestow on them . Such honor séekes & they with a blushing conscience entertain him , be they neuer so high in fauour , yet they beg no office , as the shamelesse vp●…art doth , that hath a hungry eie to spie out , an impudent face to sue , and a flatering toong to intreat for some void place of worship , which litle belonged to them , if the prince intended to bestow offices for ver tue not fauour , Other M. veluet bréeches there be of your crue , that pinch their bellies to polish their backs , that kepe their mawes emptie , to fill their pursses that haue no shewe of gentility but a Ueluet slop , who by poling or selling of land that their fathers lefte will be●…owe all to buy an office about the court that they may be worshipfull , extorting from the poore , to raise vp their money that the base deceiuing companions haue laid out to haue an office of some countenance and credite ; wherein they may haue of me better then themselues , be tear●…ed by the name of worship . The last whome vertue pleadeth for , and neither siluer , gold , frendes , nor fauour aduanceth , be men of great worth , such as are thought of worship , and vn willingly entertaine her , rather vouchsa●…ng profered honor for their countryes cause , then for any proud opinion of hoped for preferment .

Blessed are such lan●…es , whose officers are so placed , and where the Prince promoteth not for coine nor countenaunce , but for his worthy deseruing veitues . But leauing this by talke , me thought I heard you say Signior Ueluet br●…ches , that you were the father of mechanicall Artes , and handicraftes were found out to fester your brauery . In faith goodman gosecape , you that are come from the startvps , & therefor is called an vpstart , quasi start vp from clowted shoone , your lips hunge in your light , when you brought forth this Logike : for I hope there is none so simple , but knowes that handicraftes and occupations grewe for necessity , not pride : that mens inuentions waxed sharpe to profite the common wealth , not to pranke vppe themselues in brauery , I pray you when Tubalcane inuented tempring of mettals had bee Ueluet bréeches to weare ? In sadnesse , where was your woorship when his brother found out the accordes and discordes of musiicke hiden in hell , and not yet thought on by the Deuill , to cast forth as a baite to bring many proud fooles to ruin●… ?

Indeed I cannot denie , but your worship hath brought in deceipt as a iourney man into al companies , & made that a subtil craft , which while I was holden in esteem was but a simple misterie : now euery trade hath his sleightes , to slubber vppe his worke to the eie , and to make it good to the sale , howesoeuer it proones in the wearinge , The shoomaker cares not if his shooes hold the bra●…ing on : the tailor sowes with hot néedle and burnte thred . 〈◊〉 pride hath banisht conscience , and Ueluet bréeches honestie , and euery seruile drudge must ruffle in his silkes , or else he is not suteable .

The world was not so A principio , for when veluet was worne but in kinges caps , then conscience was not a brome man in Bent streat but a Cour●…ier , then the farmer was content ●…is sonne should hold the plough , and liue as he had done before : Beggars then feared to aspire , and the higher sortes scorned to enu●…e . Now euery lowt must haue his sonne a Courtnoll , and those dunghill drudges waxe so proud , that they wil presume to wear on their feet , what kings haue worne on their heades . A clownes sonne must be clapt in a Ueluet pantophle , and a veluet bréech , though that presumptious a●…se be drownd in the Mercers beoke , & make a conuey of all his lands to the vsurer for commodities : yea the fop must goe like a gallant for a while , although at last in his age he●… begge . But indéede , such young youths when the broker hath blest them with sainte Needams crosse , fall then to priuy liftes and cosen●…ages , and when their credit is vtterly crackt , they practise some bad shift , and so come to a shamefull ende

Lastly , whereas thou saist thou art a seuere sensour to punish sins , as austere as Cato to correct vice , of truth I hold thée so in penal statutes when thou hast begged the forfeite of the Prince : but such correction is open extortion and oppression of the poore , nor can I compare it better M veluet bréech , then to the wolfe cha●…ising the lambe for disturbing their fountaine , or the Deuill casting out Deuilles , through the power of Belsebab , and thus much curteous sir I haue said , to display the follies of mine aduersary , and to she we the right of mine owne intrest . Whye then quoth I , if you haue both saide , it resteth but that wee hadde some to empanell vpon a ●…ury , and then no doubt but the verdict would soone bee giuen on one side . As thus I was talking to them , I might sée comming downe the bill a brane dapper Dicke , quaintly attired in veluet and Sattin , and a cloake of cloth rash , with a cambricke ruffe as smoothly ●…et , and he as ne●…ly spunged , as if he had b●…n a bridgrome , only I gest by his pace a farre off he should be a Tailor , his head was holden vppe so pert , and his legges shackle hamd , as if his knees had beene laced to his thighes with points . Comming more neere indéed I 〈◊〉 a ●…ailors m●…rice pike on his brest , a spanish needle , and then I 〈◊〉 my salutations , not to his sutes but to his trade , and incountred him by a thread bare courtesie , as if I had not knowne him , and asked him of what accupation he was ? A Taylor , quoth he , marry then my freend , quoth I , you are the more welcome , for beere is a greate quarrell growne betwixt veluet bréeches and cloth bréeches , for their prerogatiue in England : the matter is growne to an issue , ther must a Iury be empannelied , and I would desire and intreat you to be one of the quest.