The house of correction: or, Certayne satyricall epigrams. Written by I.H. Gent. Together with a few characters, called Par pari: or, Like to like, quoth the deuill to the collier

EPIGRAMS .

¶ Lectori . MY Epigrams , like to a wandring Guest , Or tattard Souldier , that 's but lately Prest , Your fauour craues , to grant a Passe vnto them , A greater kindnesse you can neuer doe them .

Bibens his bountie . BIbens , to shew his liberalitie , Made Lusus drunke . A noble qualitie , And much esteemed , which Bibens fayne would proue , To be the Signe of his familiar loue . Lusus , beware , thou 'lt finde him in the end Familier Deuill , no familier Friend .

I● Ducum . DVcus keepes house : and it with reason stands That he keepe house , that sold away his lands

¶ Omne Simile non est Idem . TOgether as we walkt , a friend of mine Mistook a painted Maddame for a Signe , That in a window stood ; but I acquainted , Told him , it was no woodden Signe was painted , But Maddam ( — . ) Yea true , sayd he , Yet 't is a Signe of little modestie .

Gr●●e pondus . WHat tell you vs that Milo bore a Bull ! Is that so strange ? Yon silke & siluer Gull Beareth a Countrey Church vpon his backe . The lighter Bull made Milo's shoulders ake : A Steeple on his head , and at his heeles A Ring of Bells , and yet nor stoopes nor reeles .

On a Shoemaker . WHat bootes it thee to follow such a Trade That 's alwayes vnderfoote and vnderlayde ?

On Fuscus his valour . FVscus the Bragart being , in field to fight , Protesting of his valour ouernight , Shaking his Sword , he swore , Now by this hand . I le fight and kill so long as I can stand . The Field was pitcht : and now begins the fray ; And Fuscus now begins to runne away , Nor euer stints his course , vntill by flight He had outrunne the danger of the fight . The Combat ended , Fuscus he was wanting , And found ere long , where he for feare stood panting . And thus they mockt him ; You swore by your hand , You 'ld fight and kill so long as you could stand . 'T is true ( sayd one , ) but pray doe Fuscus right ; For Fuscus neyther stood to kill nor fight .

Ad Rinaldum amic. SEe , see , Rinaldus ! Prethee who is that That weares you great greene Fether in his hat , Like to some Tilter ? Sure it is some Knight , Whose wits being greene , his head must needs be light .

In Lusiam . LVsia , who scornes all others imitations , Cannot abide to be out-gone in fashions : She sayes , she cannot haue a Hat or Ruffe . A Gowne , a Pettycoate , a Band , or Cuffe , But that these Citizens ( whom she doth hate ) Will get into 't , at nere so deare a rate : But Lusia now doth such a fashion follow , Whose Hayre is Flax , and Band as Saffron yellow , That there 's no Citizen , what ere she be , Can be transformed so like an Owle as she .

In Lincum . LIncus the Draper , for his more auayle , Dams vp his lights to set his Ware to sayle ; And counts it ( in his Art ) a misterie To gayne by lying , oaths , and flatterie : But take this rule , If Lincus his lights stoppe , Deeme you his conscience darker then his shoppe .

Destruit aedificat mutat quadrata rotundis . A Man there was ( which here shall not be nam'd ) that with great cost a wondrous building fram'd ; But as the building rose , the Builders purse Did pine in substance , ( Builders common curse . ) It cost him many a pound : but that 's no matter . Slightly being built , the building gan to tatter : And by mischance , downe falls of it a part . The Workmen ( they being glad with all their heart Come to their Master , thereof to complayne , And askt his leaue to ●ayse it vp agayne . Nay soft ( quoth he ) it is a question whether More may fall downe ; let 's set vp all together .

Canutus reformation . CAnutus now will be no more a Ranger , But Marryed liue , and lye at Rack and Manger . So meanes not shee . Well , if she goe to grasse , Hee 'll prooue an Oxe , that was before an Asse .

On a Maydens thoyse . A Parent to his Childe this counsell gaue , Quoth he , My Girle , two Suiters thou must haue , The one is yong and faire , vertuous & wise , Of worthiest Stocke , and rarest qualities : The other different , both in age and nature , N●yther so fit , nor yet so sweete a Creature ; Yet be resolued , and make that Suiter blest Whom in thy loue thou thinkst the Worthi●st ? Straight she replyes , Since choyce is left to mee , Nature commands , that Age with Age agree , Vertue and Loue compell my heart thereto To loue the youngman ; and in truth I doe . Why , but ( sayd he ) be not mistaken than , Conceiue , the Elder is the better man . How so , quoth she ! it's a Paradox to mee , How being the woorse , he can the better bee ?

In Pigmeum . LIttle Pigmeus weares his Mistris Gloue , Her Ring , and Feather , ( Fauours of her loue . ) Who could but laugh , to see the little Dwarfe Grace out himselfe with her imbrodered Scarfe ? 'T is strange , yet true , her Gloue , Ring , Scarfe and Fan , Makes him ( vnhansome ) a wel fauoured man .

Flemminius Sickenesse . FLemminius nere was sicke ; yet was it sed Flemminius he was sicke , yea , sicke and dead : His Friends lamented , shedding many a teare : At length it came vnto Flemminius care , Who thus ●aue answer ; Neuer let them feare it , The Newes is ill , yet am I glad to heare it .

In Oblitum . I Wondred much ( as I had wondrous reason ) Oblitus should , within so short a season , Forsake , forget his old and ancient friend , For whom he oft had vow'd his life to spend : I was not altred much , but so was hee , From low estate , to higher dignitie , Yet knew I him ; hath he forgotten me ? Preferment then hath spoyld his memorie : Yet this I know , 'T is but his paltry pelfe . He knowes me well ; but he forgets himselfe .

Lucus Iourney . LVcus that trauel'd with an hundred pound , Was rob'd , and left wel beaten , and fast bound : But when to share their prize they had begun , No miracle was wrought , yet he vndone .

Nimis Amor. TWo friends ( that had not met a long time since ) Together supt : but at their parting thence , Tom swore hee 'd haue Kit home : but all in vayne . Kit swore as fast hee 'd haue Tom backe agayne . In kindnesse thus they striue , and striuing goe From home to home : nor could they end it so ; But too and fro , walking through many a Streete : It now being late , the Constable they meete . He gaue command ; his Bil-men quickly staid them , And took them thence , & in the Compter laid them . And thus by Fortune was a meanes prouided To end the strife , which could not be decided : All which was well , but that that fell out worse ; They saued their oath , but could not saue their purse .

In Priscus commendations of his Mistris . PRiscus commends his Mistres for a Girle , Whose lips are Rubies , & whose teeth are pearle . They neede prooue so , or else it will be found He payes too deare , they cost him many a pound :

Vltra posse non est esse . HOw should Rattillo lose his purse last night , And 20. shillings in it ? was 't not by slight ? Why ? he came in no crowd . What , did hee play ? No. Hee 's no Gamester . Did he no debts pay ? Nor Fee no Lawyers ? Neyther . Was he not drunk ? Neyther . Nor did bestow it on his Punke ? Why , then the question 's this ; If none of these , How should he lose what he had not to leese ?

In Rufum . AS Rufus prays'd his Beauer Hat of late , One that stood by ( striking him o're the pate ) Sayd it was felt . Rufus would not beleeue it . He stroke againe , till Rufus did conceiue it . So darke was the conceit , that out of doubt , He nere had found , had he not felt it out .

In Cornutum . WHy should Cornutus Wife lie in the Strand , And hee , poore silly man , lye in the Citie ? Belike the Shop was not sufficient man'd . To part the Head and Members yet 't is pittie : But what cares she for head ; I hope she scornes Were he seauen heads , shee 'd crowne him with ten hornes .

Richards mourning . WHen his old Master buried was with cost , Dick had a mourning Cloke , but it was lost . The Corse to Churchward goes , ech takes his turne , But Dick took none : for Richard could not mourne . Yes , that he did ; the Company he forsooke , And mourn'd not in , but mourned for his Cloke .

Flaccu's payment . FLaccus came to a Tauerne , there to dine , Cal'd for good store of meat , great store of wine , The Reckoning brought , Flaccus sayes not a word , Nor drawes his purse ; but out he drawes his sword : Some say he proffer'd wrong ; but how thinke you ? He drew vpon the Drawer , pay'd his due . He owed him the reckoning but of late : Hath he not scored , and payd him on the pate ?

On Iustice her entertaynment . IVstice came downe from heauen of late to be A perfect Iudge , without partialitie : But when that Iustice to the Bench was come , The Bench it was so full she had no roome ; So backe she tooke her flight vnto the heauens , And left the world againe at sixe and seauens .

Iustice her reward . IVstice fledde vp to heauen , some say was blinde : Why so is many a Iustice left behinde : But Iustice being blinde , the cause regarded , R●spected none nor neuer was rewarded . So say not all , some of the Bench agrees , That Iustice kept a Clarke to take her fees .

In Briscum . HIs Father being dead , Briscus was told , And found ere long where was his fathers gold , All Angels rich , but poorely clad in leather . Briscus tooke pitty on them , and straight hither Sends some for Sattin , other some for Tissue , Gloues , Scarfes , Hats , Hangers : but now marke the issue , They all being freed , did all consent together , And took their flight , poor Briscus knows not whither , which he laments , blaming those former kings , Who made a Law , he might not clippe their wings .

In Ledaem . BEcause I 'me black & swarfe , Leda doth scorn me , And if I marry her , she vowes shee 'l horne me : But Leda , know ( I speak 't not in disgrace ) Your red and white is but a pybauld face .

Enigma . AS often as I please it changeth forme . It is no Coward , though it doe no harme : T is neuer hurt , nor euer doth it feede , T is nothing worth , yet nothing doth it neede . Swiftly it runnes , yet neuer maketh sound , And once being lost , againe 't is neuer found . 'T is a fit Seruant for a Gentleman , And a true patterne for a Seruingman . 'T is borne a Gyant , liues a Dwarfe , and nigh Vnto its death , a Gyant doth it dye .

Ad bonos socios . Old Women told vs tales long time agoe , Of Robbin Goodfellow , what he would doe , Who now they say is gone : but yet wee finde , There 's many of his name are left behinde .

In Pratum Iur: cons. I Asked Pratus what was his Profession ? He savd a Lawyer , who by h●s discretion , Could right and wrong , according to the Law , To cherrish Vertue , and keepe Vice in Awe : I know it contrary , and full of Ire , Setti●g his Awe aside , I call'd him Lier .

On Captaine Drake his Voyage . SOme thinke it true , whilst other some do doubt , Whether Capt. Drak● compast the world about . Some say he did it in the Deuils name , And none ere since could doe the like againe : But these are al deceiued , why should they doubt it ? They know each yeere there 's some that goe about it .

Ad amicam . I I Am the happiest ere inioy'd a Loue , u. You are the first did euer constant proue : ly . Lye down my wandring thoughts , them take your rest , an . An blessed once , continue euer blest .

Answere . na . NA , he that shall : tour affections grutch , yl . Ill be his Fortune , since my prayer is such : u. You loue me now , let not affections seuer , I. I loue you now , and I shall loue you euer .

Will 's error . WIll sayes his Wife 's so fat , she scarce can go : But she as nimbly answeres , Faith sir , no. Alas , good Will , thou art mistaken quite , For all men know that she is wondrous light .

Spinus his choyce . SPinus would wed , but he would haue a Wench That hath all Tongues , Italian , Spanish , French , But I diswade him ; for if she hath any , She hath enough ; if two , sh 'as two too many .

To Mr. Richard Moore , one of the Masters of the Chancery , on his name . FOr to be Rich and hard , or hard and Rich , Is not thy nature , though thy name be such : For to be Rich 't is hard , but thou hast store Of Riches , Honour , yet of Vertue more : Which Vertue , Honour , Riches now adayes Being hard to get , More great must be thy prayse , So I , and all that know thee , doe agree , The More 's the pittie there 's no More like thee .

To the Bookeseller . NAy , feare not Bookeseller , this Booke will sell : For be it good , as thou know'st very well , All will goe buy it ; but say it be ill , All will goe by it too : thus thou sei'st still .

Vulcans Marriage . VVlcan and Venus were together wedded : But Mars charg'd in , & Vulcans Venus bedded . what thogh the Smith were black , & she were white , She might haue ask't him leaue , for leaue is light : Why so is she , what then ? why then she scornes But to make vp the waight with Vulcan's hornes .

In Borachium . BOrachio sayd , Wine made his head too light , And therfore would not drinke it : yet last night Carowsing healths , so heauy was his head , He fell asleepe , and there was left for dead : Within a while he wak't , and found for right , The Wine had made his purse , not head , too light .

In Dominam Membrosam . MAdam Membrosa had to me a suite , To set forth her good parts : and thus I 'le do 't : Setting a side thy iudgement , and thy wit , ( Which though but little is ) for thee more fit : First , of rare Complexion thou hast store , And when 't is gone , ' knowst well where to haue more . Then , for thy Hayre , ( nay , thinke not I doe flatter ) It cost thee to the Tire man , no small matter . Fingers like Spiders clawes ; nay , not so thicke , And yet to picke a Pocket farre more quicke . Thou a small Foote , nor a short Heele do'st lacke , Which makes thee fall so often on thy backe . As for thy other Parts ( which I know least ) Thou get'st thy liuing by ; sure those are best .

Theeues falling out , true men come by their goods . TWo cheating Mates , whose only trade was shift , To chea●e a Countrey fellow was their drift : The place being fi● , they quarrel'd , and fell out , And needes at Buffets they would haue a bout : The honest man slept in to part the fray ; But they in bustling , Nim'd his Purse away : Which after missing , he ( poore man ) laments , And that he parted them , greatly repents : But they being parted , part what they had got , And laughed a maine at the poore simple sot , Swearing , the Ancient Prouerbe they had crost , Since they fell out , and he his goods had lost .

On the sixe Cases . No. NAnta was nominated for a Whore , Gin. For that she had bin Ginitiue before : Da. Notice hereof was to the Iustice giuen , Acc. Who her accused , that she had loosely liuen ; Vo. But she cry'd mercy , and her fault vpript' , Abl. And so was tane away , and soundly whipt . Her Case was ill : yet will the question be , Being thus declin'd , in what a case was she ?

Ad Lectorem . IS 't possible that thou my Booke hast bought , That sayd'st 't was nothing worth ! why was it naught ? Read it again , perchance thy wit was dul , Thou mayst finde something at the second pull : Indeed at first thou naught didst vnderstand , For shame get something at the second hand .

On Luce's maintenance . HEe that takes paines shall get , the Prouerbe go●s ; But Luce takes pleasure , yet doth nothing lose . Poore labouring Porters , with much toyle & sweat , Scarce get sufficient Victuals for to eate : But if that Luce at any time doth lacke , She with her belly can maintayne her backe .

Peters trouble . PEter is troubled with a froward Wife , Whose curstnesse makes him wearie of his life : The simple fellow , ( with her rayling crost ) Hath often wish't that she her tongue had lost . Alas ( poore Peter ) sure thy case is ill , When shee 'le nor lose her tongue , nor keepe it still .

Parnels comfort . PArnell , being taken in the very Act , Was sent vnto Bride-well , for such her fact : But be contented , Parnell , cease to mourne , Th' art at the Wheele of Fortune , make it turne .

In Duellum . STratus and Stremon went to Field to fight , Stratus was slayne , and Stremon taken streight ; He being condem'd , was saued : yet by this strife , The one , his liuing ; th' other lost his life .

In Bachum & Venèrem . BAchus and Venus well accord together : And whither Bachus goes , Venus goes thither : Bachus backs Venus ; Venus for his paine , Pleasureth Bachus on her backe againe .

On Venter the Merchant . VEnter the Merchant is runne madde , they say , On the report his Ships are cast away . What , did he Venter with his goods his wits , That he is falne into these franticke fits ? Then , peraduenture , it may well be found , The Sea his goods , and he his wits hath drown'd .

To the Gentlewomen Painters . APpelles , famous for the Art of Painting , Vnto whose worke there naught but life was wanting ; Had he compar'd , or held with you the strife , He had not wonne , yours comes so neere the life : Your Portractures you make to speake and goe , Appelles workmanship could nere doe so .

Tempora mutantur & nos mutamur in illis . TO be a Whore-master , in former time , Was by our Fathers counted a base crime : How much the world 's worse then it was before , Each Gallant makes his Mistris of his Whore .

Ad Iur: cons. WOrds wisely set are worth much gold , So were we by our ancient Fathers told , And so we doe beleeue : Experience then Doth teach vs , Lawyers are the wisest men .

Tom's bargaine . TOm should haue payd ten shillings for a Sword But would not take it on the Cutlers word ; He bid him try 't , he did , at the first stroke It prou'd not worth a point , the point was broke .

To Mistris E. S. LEt but thy beautious eyes looke on this line , To see , as in thy Glasse , thy beautie shine , Which beauty nature gaue thee to disgrace Our latter Artists , who make vp a face Of seeming beautie , for to blinde such eyes , As with Pigmalion them doe Idolize . Should I not praise , what I praise-worthy see , I should doe wrong to nature and to thee : Yet , whilst I speake thee faire , so short I come Of thy perfection , that I 'me deem'd by some To light the shining Sunne : Yet from my hand Receiue this graine vnto thy heape of sand .

Epitaph . STay , doe not passe ! here fixe your eyes Vpon a Virgins Obsequies ! Pay Tribute to a troubled heart , T' is but a teare before you part : And what are teares ? They are but streames Of sorrow , which , like frightfull dreames , Disturbe your sences - Yet I craue No other Sacrifice to haue : But if you passe , and let fall none , Y' are harder then this Marble stone . Your loue is colder , and your eyes As senselesse of my miseries .

On my Venture in Sir Walter Rawleigh's Voiage . I Being perswaded ( not by reason led ) For Gold vnto Gwyan aduentured ; Great were our hopes of good successe ; for none Expected lesse to gaine then fiue for one : But following Fate ( she fickle ) thither led , Where neyther they of Gold nor Siluer sped : But , poore , distrest , homeward returne againe , Mony , liues , labour , all was spent in vaine . The hopefull necke of their designe was broke ; For all their Gold was vanish't into Smoke . Thus I lost all ; wherefore it is a signe The found no Mine of gold , yet gold of mine .

A Data fata sequtus .

The Motto on Sir Walter Rawghlie's Armes .

In Costum . COstus his custome stole ; but by the way The Wayters met him , and his goods did stay : He it denyes , and proffers those to bring , Should proue it was no vnaccustomed thing . He meant to steale . If so ? why should they choose Such Customes , rather to finde then loose .

On Smithfield . T' Was Faire at Smithfield once , but once a yeere ; At Bartholmetide : but now the Cities care Hath mad● it fayre at all times , paued it round . T' is twentie shillings better by the pound . Nor haue they much bestowed their cost amisse , Since there 's no Soile so plentifull as this ; Heere 's Hay in great abundance , heads of Cattell ; As Horses , Oxen , hither come to battle : Yet what is strangest , It nere needeth dressing . Here is the horne of plentie . Vulcans blessing .

Epitaph on a Foote-man . THis nimble Foote-man ran away from Death ; And here he rested , being out of breath . Here Death him ouertooke , made him his slaue , And sent him of an Arrant to his Graue .

Censures on the Voyage to Gwyana . SVndry oppinions abroad are spred , Why the Gwyanians no better sped ; Some say , they were preuented out of Spayne , Others , because some did returne agayne : Some say , 't was sicknesse : others , their abode So long ere they put from the English Rode . Some say , their General 's absence : but the most Say , Captaine Kemish death , when he was lost , All was ouerthrowne , he onely was to doe it , And that Sir Walter came but Rawly to it .

On a Scriuener . I Told a Scriuener of his Briberie , His Broking , Forging , Cheating , Knauery , He sayd , he heard me not ; so 't may appeare , How could he heare , that had no Eares to heare ?

Ad Templum pro bonis . HAile to this holy place , this ancient seate , Where Iustice , ioyn'd with wisedome doth intreat Of right & wrong , & reads her sacred Lawes , More for deuotions sake , then for applause . This is the place chosen to be the helme , Where Iustice sits , to steare about the Realme . Both law and equitie , hence Iustice driues The Charriot of fayre peace , and leades in Gyues , Wrong , and oppression , throughout the Land , Whilst peace and plentie ride ioyn'd hand in hand . This is Astrea's Temple , which is greac't With many a golden Vessell , which are plac't In places eminent . Those Astrea blesse ; And blessing , make their number numberlesse .

De Templo in malos . SAint Peters and S. Pauls are in disgrace : The Middle Temple , that ●… the onely place , Whither both Citie and the Countrey come , As to the Temple of Ierusalem , To heare the Law , and many a Iew to proffer ; As many an angell . None must come to offer A Widdowes mite : For how should liue the Scribes , But by false profits , and by double bribes ? Doues are brought hither to be bought and sold , And Countrey Clyants bring their bags of gold Hither to change Both friends , and foes , & strangers Are vs'd alike , for these are Money changers . This is a Sanctuary that is free For all but Sarjants ; yet we doe agree , There 's many good , and graue , whom these things greeues , Wer 't not for them , 't were but a denne of theeues .

Sextus Purchase . IT may be true ( for Sextus in it stands , ) That he hath purchased great store of Lands : But 't is conceald : yea marry , so 't may be , For I am sure 't was neuer knowne to me . What if he lyes ? Why , then the question 's , whether The Truth and Lands bee both conceal'd together . Yea , that they are : for if the truth were knowne , The Lands would soone be found , but few or none .

Mirabilie Visu . WHen old Penochio came first to towne , And saw the Coaches running vp & down , Staring vpon them long , he hoopt alowd : The people thronging round him made a crowd , And askt him , what he meant ? Quoth he I hooted Because before I nere saw women booted .

On the Lotteries . SOme doe condemne our late great Lotteries , And say they were but tricks and fopperies For to get money : This is all the thanke They giue the Founders ; yet all were not blanke . One myracle it wrought , say what they can , It made a Tayler for to be a Man .

Currit mercator ad Indos . SOme fondly thinke our great East-India Trade Hath all our other Merchants beggars made ; And that they carry men , and money store , To kill our Marriners , and make vs poore . These are confuted all , and held as vaine , In eighteene Moneths they now returne againe : Returne a gaine said I ? Nay , but a losse , If they lose men and money , but for drosse .

On the High Spring tide at the Shewes at the Palsgraue's Wedding . THe Sea fled in , willing to see this sport , That to the neighbouring Lands she might report Their valiant Prowesse , and each glyding flood , Came rowling in ; & each streame would haue stood For to particip●te these warlike Shewes , So that the Thames could hardly them enclose : For some , to be spectators of the sight , Got vp vpon the bancks to see them fight .

On Iustice Ballance . SOme doe paint Iustice sitting in her state , With Scales & Ballance to giue each his waight : Surely her Scales are euen , so thinke I , And that the beame hangs not in Iustice eye .

Old Siluium . SIluius by Simmony a Liuing got , And he liu'd well vpon it . 'Pray why not ? For he the poore did pill , the rich did lurch , And so became a Piller of the Church .

De perochia beatae Mariae de Arcubus . AN Archer , bragging , sayd , he well did know How to bring any man vnto his bow : Yet , when he put his knowledge into vse , Hee hardly could say Bo vnto a Goose.

Ex abundantia cordis es loquitur . THe mouth speaks from the abundance of the heart , So were we taught : but they haue found an Art , Lately at Westminster , which is farre woorse , Most mouthes speake from th' abundance of the purse .

Ad Lectorem Candidum . MY Booke arraign'd for causes criminall , Must dye a death which is vnnaturall : A Iury Ignorant haue past vpon it , And found it guiltie : So there is throwne on it Many contemptuous speeches , insomuch As I appeale to you , whose wisedome's such As errs not , and craue Iudgement from your breath , Whether it shall be burnt or prest to death .

Certaine CHARACTERS , Called PAR PARI : or , Like to like , quoth the Diuell to the Collier .

A Pirat is an excellent Bow-man .

WHo from his childe-hood being much bent to rouing , is in time become a cunning Shooter , and thereby hath wonne many a Prize . If you purpose to out-goe him , you must betake you to your flight : but if once he Boord you , your game is lost . Adam Bell and his Archers gaue him first example to bee an Out-law ; And because in times past he hath beene a beneficiall Souldier to the English , hee is sent vnto the Marshalsey ; for whose sake , there is a Stake or two set vp at Wapping , for him , or any of his Companions to make vse of .

A Drunkard is a Master of Defence ,

WHo dares challenge any Dutchman or German . He takes no felicitie at the single , but dares any man at the double . He is but too to cruell : for oftentimes hee seekes the bloud of the Grape ; ye● hath he in many a Duel bin ●eft for dead , when his Friends , taking of him vp , haue f●und his crowne crackt . Once he had almost lost his eyes , insomuch as he was led home to his lodging . And if at any time he be not able to stand , he may be well excused , because he hath got a cut in the leg . Many times haue I seene him so stonied , he had not the power 〈◊〉 speake ; yet w●ll he justle any man in the Streete , and very manfully fal vpon all fewer at a time . If ●erchance he meetes with a Constable , hee prepares for the Encounter , and betakes him to his word .

A meere Gallant is one that playes at Noddy .

ONe & twentie ends his game ; for the like number ended his Nonnage , and made him flush , which if perchance he be , expect him to shew it very openly : But if there come a sequ●ns , you shall haue him keepe close . For feare of a payre of knaues , you we●e best to looke to his d●aung , lest that hee shuffle with you But of all things , take neede how you fall out about scoring ; for hee is knowne to bee a g●eat Cutter . If it bee you fortune 〈◊〉 get to twentie , it is impossible for you to loose the gam● , because you are sure to haue a Noddi● in hand .

A Curtezan is a Musi●ian .

WHo from her youth being brought vp to pricksong , hath lost no time , but is become a Woman of note . She learnt it of the Nightingale , and in imitati●n of he● sleepes , alwaies against a Prickle . She sings sometimes in Paris ▪ but they are not much respected , because they are growne common ; yet neuer was she put downe by any but onely in the closing , and the reason , as some say , is because she fals often too flat , she steales away your cares with her voice , and in the meane time hath many crotchets in her head how to straine courtesie with your purse . A large and a long shee is well affected with ; but a briefe or a sembriefe , nothing pleaseth her . Of all Instruments she loues not the Recorder because it makes her too melancholy . Shee hath playd at many a Marriage , yet neuer could affect the Bride-well , although shee hath beene paid largely for her paine . Imitating the ancient Poets , she sings her Poems in Cars , and the people being much delighted therewith , for the maintainance of her voyce , haue bestowed many an Egge vpon her , which oftentimes haue proued as rotten as her selfe . Faine would she haue beene a Quarrister at Pauls , but that she loues not to stand in a Surplisse : yet many times she repayres thither , especially vnto the lower end of the Middle I le . She is neuer out of the moods but when she meetes with a Be●dle or Constable , and then shee begins to quarter , because shee feareth to sing a Counter tenor . If you have a desire to heare her , eyther shee is gone to Lambeth to take the ayre ; or else you shall meete her at the next Tauerne with her conserts .

A Gull Traueller is the Ball at Tennis ,

WHo , by reason of the later Racket in France , hath left it , and now hath tooke vp his place of residence in the Court of England . After his passage hither , hee held vs with a long discourse of the seuerall hazzards he had bin driuen into : How he was tost from this place to that place , hauing not a few times past vnder the line . Neither forgot hee his rare exploy●s done in the Field , in the late banding of faction : nor what grea● seruices hee had beene proffered so his g●od parts in Court : but because he lyeth for his v●●tage , which in him in a fault , it is fit he be whipt out of the Court.

A Swaggerer is one that playe● at Ruffe ,

FRom whence hee tooke the denomination of a Ruffin . Take heede how you deale with him , for he is much giuen to packing ; and at play his vsuall oath is Renounce me . He cares but for one good suite at a time : and the foure orders of Knaues are his most familier Companions . Let no Wenches trust him , for hee is neuer well but when he is taking vp their Coates , who for his sawcinesse is oftentimes sent to the Stocks , where euery one is glad to finde h●m .

A broking Scriuener is a Barbersurgion .

WHo in his Apprenticehood being brought vp to the Art of Poleing , is now made free of the Shauers . He hath his Shop fully furnisht with most rare and cunning Instruments . His chiefe customers consists of Vsurers and mad-men , which mad-men he so hampers , keeping them fast bound , that in sixe Moneths many of them recouer their wits againe . He begins to haue some practise in Phisicke ; 〈◊〉 , ●f any young Gentleman be troubled wi●h a looseness , he can giue him a bynding potion ▪ and againe , if he be bound , he can minister vnto him a purging pill , that shall fetch an extraordinarie quantitie of yellow stuffe from him . He neuer mist of his cunning but once , when looking into the Market-place through a window , he lost one of his eares , and neuer since could be cured .

A Gamester at Irish is a Merchant Aduenturer .

THe Dice are his Ships , the Men are his goods , which lye in seuerall parts to to bee brought home in safetie . In the returne , many times , his goods are taken by Pyrats , who lye in waite for them : but if in the pursuite hee can but safely bring ●hem ore the barre , he cares not a point for them . If ●he weather be so tempestious , that hee be constrained to lye at Hull , ten to one but the Ships are cast away . When he comes to make vp his accompts , hee beares away as much of his goods as he can possible ▪ for then is he compelled to breake , which is a great bi●● to his credite : and his aduersaries imediately enter their actions , and attache his goods : so are they carried backe againe to the bilbowes , where they lye wind-bound vntiil such time as he hath spent most part of his estate . When his aduersaries hauing got their will of him , more of constraint than pity , release him .

An Amorist is a Painter .

WHo paints foorth his passions in blacke and white , and carries his Mistris Colours in his Hat . He hath made her Picture in a Sonnet , & doth Idolize her like Pigmalion . If you make any comparisons with her , he will draw , although he be beate● blacke and blew in the quarrell Hee is so obseruatiue , that he will not omit her shaddow , and accounts it the heig●t of his happinesse when hee can frame his demeanour to please her . The vtmost end of his studie . is but to attaine to the secrets of the Arte of L●●ming , wherein being vnskilfull , hee sometimes layes his Colours on a false ground , whereby they fading he himselfe is disgraced .