THE Ancient Writers have delivered , that Opinion is Sacer morbus , which is of that power , that on whomsoever it lightly breatheth , it doth ( as it were ) fetter him with chaynes , and doth not suffer his eyes never so little to peep towards the dawning truth . But this is chiefly to be deplored , that having once taken possession of the judgement , whereon the welfare of mankinde doth depend , it commandeth the suffrages and voyces , and swayeth on that which is forestalled with fancy . Nay , in troth , shee her selfe doth execute the place of judicature . Who is so forlorne of sense , as not to confesse that this is apparant in our defendants cause ? This same Louce , a creature of fame , and common note , mans familiar guest , & retainer , born and bred of him , his home-batled nursling , and cherished with the warmth of the same harth , borne to the communion of Fortune , & tutelar dependency , & allied in the sacred tie of any other domestick relation : yea , your ever trusty companion suffers under the tyrannicall oppression of men , and is made by them as contemptibly infamous as they can : and is not only banisht from sea and land , but also is most barbarously expelled and ejected from the body of man , which is his onely seate of life and maintenance . The cause whereof being demanded , it will bee found no other but meerely Opinion . The which to have fully driven out of the minde , I thinke it much avayling to the safety of this defendant , whom the more earnestly to commend unto you , I thinke it sufficient to notifie unto you his commendable properties . First of all , they say the very name is infamous , heaven help us ! which is derived from the most fashionable part of the body ( as they themselves dare not deny : ) first men did call him pedem or foot ; afterwards by a loving and flattering appellation they called him pediculum , with as honest a name as eyther Oedipus or Polypus , which have the same Etimology . See therefore , and thoroughly view the force of Opinion ; no man thinks it ugly to say pediculorum montem , populos pediculos , pediculorum agrum , sive flumen , a hill of Lice , a nation of Lice , a field and river of Lice , that I meddle not with the Lice of leaues and fruites . Although the Romans would not see them want illustrious and magnificent names , as when they called them Serpents , or creepers , and Sexupedes or sixfooted creatures ; Yet the Grecians much lesse would ; which amongst other names haue giuen him one from the very shop of reason , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 the brayne of man . The Hebrewes haue named him also from a powerfull word canan , which signifies with them to lay a foundation , ( from whence can , a pedestall , foot , or foundation ; ) eyther because they are the foundation , of greater animals , or else because they are supported of many feet , as upon a basis . Therefore they are called cinnim , by that most ancient nation . The Greeke Septuagint called them 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , not as being other cattell ( which we euer deemed ) but from their compasse , because 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 is as much to say , as little or small . Whence the Chaldeans also from their pinched and concised body called them cimlin , and the Arabians camla : meaning this selfe same creature . Nor neede any one bee ashamed heereof , seeing valour eyther excuseth or commendeth the thinnesse and contractednesse of their body , which also euery one admires in Pismires , unto whom the Ancients do ascribe mighty wisedome . Nor doe our clients also when they fall upon mans flesh , behave themselves lesse valiantly , as that every one deserve the same commendation which the Prince of Poets gives to that great Hero .

Although our defendant thinks it doth not concerne him at all , by what names he is stiled : Which excellent humour of indifferency , doubtlesse he tooke from the Stoicks , when hee lived heeretofore grazing in their beards and brows . Furthermore , whereas both Orators and Philosophers doe fetch the roote and originall of prayse from ones native soyle ; ( which Plato approoves of also in his Menexenus , our Sparke was borne neyther at Athens , nor Rome ; which Cities have beene praised and celebrated by great Orators , even untill the hearers eares were cloyed . The native soile of the Louce is Man ; whose worth and prerogative to blazen , were but a silly and idle enterprize : who as hee is onely endued with Reason , so hath also Reason impallaced in his loftiest and most topping part , to wit , the head . And this hath our Client made choyce of deservedly , as a castle and fort of great importance . Heere he is bred , heere he is brought up , heere his estate and mayntenance subsisteth ; of this is he the native inhabitant and free denison , scorning the lower regions , and as ancient Poets sayd prettily , There is no greater good Then a good neighbourhood .

He hath the minde , hee hath the understanding , he hath prudence and wisedome for his neighbours , and almost familiars , so that the asse , which hath the least portion of these , a dull and lumpish creature , only knows not what it is to have a Louce , as it is commonly beleeved . On the contrary , these most prudent mortall creatures doe besides man , the divine and truely chiefest creature , pursue also most eagerly the dog and the nightingale , whom they perceive to be of most excellent wit , that it might be verified what first Homer , and then Aristotle have sayd , Like will to like .

It was a happinesse of wit that made the Ancients to sirname Plato divine , whose Lice are become a Proverbe . To omit Pherycides , and Alcman , whose tickling adherents these were to the last gaspe . The chiefe gentry of them are imparked in the head .

For they doe almost every where send their colonies and make plantations in the apparell , in the eyebrowes , in the beard ; though not all of the same kind , and form . If you looke after the antiquity of their pedegree , you must continue it beyond Erichteus and Cecrops , even unto the times of Deucalion . For as soone as the stones waxe warme with humane breath , our Client succeeded that warmth ; who ever since hath judged to bee best for him , to keepe himselfe out of the cold as much as he can . Man therefore is borne of stone , but the Lice are borne of Man . So much the nobler in his originall , as a man is nobler then a stone . Aristotle would have them bred of the flesh , but Theophrastus of the blood , both the most noble and prime parts of the body , ( as every one knoweth . ) And they say they are born by corruption . Cruell Authors ! thinking to batter down innocency by this engine . Suffer not ( my Canting Lords ) that before your Barre , ignorance should prejudice and distresse the cause of this defendant , against the trueth . For if they goe on so , it will bee the same case with man , the same case with all other living creatures . For as from the corruption of bloud is sperme , so from the corruption of sperme both man and all other living are bred . What more beautifull then a Peacocke ? it is borne from an egge corrupted . What is more prudent then the Bee ? what more cleanly ? what more needfull in the world ? yet is borne from the corruption of an Oxe For Nature doth beget nothing of another , but so , as that something is corrupted ; and by this way doth preserve all things . Whereupon Pythagoras excellently sayd that nothing dyeth , but all things in this world are onely changed . Yea , on the contrary ( so heavens prosper me ) you will say , it is wonderfully come to passe , that after the one and the same maner , two famousest creatures are created , the Louce and the Phenix ; one from his parents ashes ; the other of a Nit ; as not without cause the most eminent Authors doe conjoyne and compare the originall of both . If you beleeve Aristotle that there proceedeth nothing from a Nit , then you will make the first authour of a Louce , the deputy of Deity , I meane , The Vniversall heat ; which the Arabes , not without cause , have called , The Creator ; unto which , when this creature is to bee procreated , the naturall heat is adioyned . Now if you search into his education ; as soone as the Louce enters into the Lease of his life , he is instituted in those arts & disciplines , which he thinketh are most conducing and importing for his course of life : he learneth not Swimming , because he liveth upon the continent ; nor learning and sciences , in that he seeth these doe no wayes avayle their teachers , for the most part , unto the attayning of vertue . Therefore being most an end busied in husbandry and domestique affaires , all the spare time remayning from the exercise and care of feeding , it bestoweth on contemplation , and rest : and herein liveth most of all like the Gods ; whom Homer giveth this Epithete of Easie Livers : for hee doth not seeke his forrage , but hath his victuals in a cubbord , ready for his mouth ; wheresoever he turnes himselfe hee fals to what is afore him , without any servicing . To omit another thing which is common to them with Homers Deities , On bread they do not feed , Nor drink what Grapes do bleed .

They do not manure or till the ground , but gently twich and prick mans flesh . If you demand the constitution of their body , it doth almost escape the eye-sight . Curious Nature hath woven together their members with such exceeding finenesse , as that they fall under the intellect , and are almost invisible ; wherein they are of affinity with incorporeall things , who by their excellency , are above the senses , being to bee apprehended only by reason . And also with the atomes wherewith Leucippus in his contemplative architecture , Democritus , and Epicure Carpenter-like , made the world off , which therefore a Roman Poet of the Retinue of Epicures did call The materiall bodies , The first bodies , The principles , The seeds of things , and The matter . But especially Acarus or the Hand-worme , known unto Aristotle , hath this affinity with atomes , which hath almost got the same name ; howsoever of the same signification : for it can neither bee divided , nor cleft , nor scarce seene : which if it should offer it selfe to the eye , and every particular member to be viewed : I would make you presently see first the Lice , and also the concurrence of hooked , rough , and smooth Atomes . Now it hath made choice of a quiet and and retired course of life , not fluttering as birds do , nor skip-hopping as a flea , but according to the dignity of his life , stable , and still : hee walketh with a slow , and gravely composed gate : nor doth he seem to imbrace any point of Philosophy more than the Pythagorean silence ; for nothing disturbeth more the intentivenesse of the minde , than a hurry , and a bustling noyse : which intentivenesse being continuall , it surmounts the blisse of man . Neither is hee altogether idle , and abstayning from action , for hee is alwayes feasting and cramming . Aristotle said well , that Man is a sociable creature , and therefore the foundation , and ground of a Common-wealth . The which no man ( unlesse hee never saw him ) but knoweth may as pertinently be said of this our client : for they live in familiar society one with another , and with man also : it is not so easily judged what kinde of forme they commonly use ; only it is not much different from a popular State , for they are esteemed by the number ; and are not transcended in judgement and worth by the plebeans ; and they march to warre not in long rancks , and wedgewise-squadrons : but in clustred and round troopes ; nor have they mutinously any civill conflicts among themselves , which in mankinde is both mad and horrid , but they encounter and bicker with man himselfe , whom oftentimes they conquer triumphantly : nor are they lesse constant in their leagve of of friendship with man , nay they surpasse him in fidelity , for When the merry store is spent , Friends then shrink , and do absent , For all fortunes share not bent : But a Louce is a constant stickler to a man : and neither comes nor goes with fortune ; but is cheefly delighted with adverse ( that is yours ) fortune ; so generous and nobly minded he is , for hee is a true companion and attendant to poverty : It shuns the Court and stately Gates Of the wealthy Potentates .

Wherefore as Scipio anciently said , that he was never lesse at leisure , then when he was at leisure : so I also doe thinke that you ( Mendicant Senators ) are never lesse alone , then when you are alone in prison and chaines : for you have about you perpetuall and trusty companions , that doe accompany you to the very Gallowes , but especially the Crab-lice , which doe take up their station in your Codpiece , Arme-pits , Beards , and Eye-browes : for what place soeuer they doe gripingly seaze on , they keep their hold untill the last gaspe . Concerning the rest , it is exceeding wonderfull , and almost incredible , what I shall tell you ; for as famous Authors doe relate , that the great and tutelar gods of the Trojans did abandon the city , upon the Grecians sacking of it : so these also doe when they perceive any body marked for death , they pack away by troopes , and this obseruation neuer failed the wisest Physitians and Philosophers . Whereupon some have thought that these haue a propheticall faculty in diuining . Beholding the measure and compasse of their body , you will thinke they are able to atchieue either little , or nothing , but Reade the renowne and douted deeds of them , And learne the worth of their heroicke stem ,

You will presently change your opinion , for whether it bee through an ingenious modestie , or else tooke up with other affaires , they doe contemne Chronicles , they doe conceale their praises and valiant acts , men being neuer the sorryer for it . Scylla the chiefe man of the world , and Commander of the Romans , who vanquisht Marius twice , and twice Mithridates , who dismantled and sackt Athens , who besmeared all Italy with slaughters : This man , I say , they did inuade with troopes ; to say nothing of Arnulphus , Antiochus , Herode , Maximinian , Pheretimus , Honorius , Cassander : all Kings and Princes : not descending to relate of priuate personages , over whom they got most illustrious victories , incountring them weaponlesse and souldierlesse : as that if I have any judgement , my Client may deservedly challenge , and assume to himselfe this encomiasticke title out of the Greeke , I thus a Louce , doe men and Tyrants tame , And of dread Themis I a Sergeant am .

I would have giuen you the Latin , but that Pediculus , runs from a Roman verse ; more friendly complying with the Greeks , as he hath reason ; though he is courteous and sociable enough with others , that hee hath begun the least familiarity with : for he doth not gash , nor hurt any one , but onely tickles them , unlesse whom hee invades in a troope , wherin ( as Socrates saith in Plautus Phoedon ) 't is a question whether it be a greater paine , or pleasure : but that if there be any paine , it is the progenitor of pleasure ; which dainty kinde of tickling , ( my Lords ) I thinke you are so taken with , as that I imagine , it is your chiefest and most lushious relishment of your poore and miserable condition . Often haue I seene with what expressive delight , you use to rubbe and scratch , sometimes your backe , sometimes your head , sometimes your sides , sometimes another part , to which this your guest doth give the gentle itching twitch : for if Pleasure be as Plato saith , but a meere repletion , and that rising from indigencie : I wonder if you can bring any other cause of that your so mighty fricative pleasure , but this your accused defendant , whom ( I will tell you a pretty jest ) by all your scratching of your head , and scrubbing of your body , you destroy never a whit the more , but multiply him . The Philosophers can tell you the cause hereof . What will you say and they prove Chirurgians , for the best approved Physitians do confesse , that it is good to have lice in the head . As for their death , with what wonderfull courage , how undauntedly do they suffer . For many times ( being now at deaths doore , shaking hands with all the world , and scaffoled upon the very comb , the usuall place of execution , he walketh about securely , without being moved in minde at all ; that he might do nought contrary to the dignity of his forepassed life , or scandalize his credit , whereof noble and brave spirits are ever especially cheary . Augustus Caesar is said to have wished for an easie departure , and quicke riddance in his death , which this creature ( I thinke ) onely hath , for he is not martyrd with lingering and chronicall , for with smart and acute pangs : hee feeles not the Pleuresie , Stone , or winde-collick , I guesse , because at his birth , Venus stood in the eight place from the horoscope , which as the Mathematicians doe well declare , doth prognosticate a most easie and unpaining death to mortals ; among whom , our Client is not the lowest in degree . Thus he is gone , but with the turning of a thumbe ; herein onely to be lamented , because he suffers undeservingly , though not therefore the more miserable , for no man in his rectified judgement , can call calamitous innocency , infelicity : which they say Socrates said also before his death , when some of his friends did therefore grieve , that so good a man as he should suffer so undeservingly . Now the most part are extinguisht with untimely death , and therefore without Pompe , Shewes , and a Herauld , with a private , not a solemne funerall : they are exposed , rather then reposed in their tombes , perhaps because they dye in their minority , and before they come to age : wherefore commonly they decease intestate . These are but a few commendations , culled and flosculated out of many : for who dares hope to be able for to display them all . Since the top of all knowledge , and oracle of wisedome , Homer , ( if the Greekes may bee beleeved ) could not unfold the nature of this his perpetuall companion in a riddle : What we tooke , we left , and what We could not take , we doe bring that .

And overcome with fretting at so high a mysterie , fairely made a dye on 't . Perhaps it was in just judgement too , for some doe thinke , that some where in his verses , he spake contemptuously and unreverently of his Worship : especially the Grammatians thinkes so , which have never stood ill affected to this our Client , being his hereditary friends and familiars .

Now you Fathers and Peeres of the beging regiment ) take all heed hereafter what you do : for if you please to inflict a penalty on them , you may with a trice confine and banish them ; for they may bee either gently set down to the ground , or else in your courtesie they may bee merrily & iudiciously bestowed upon another ; where they may live as they did afore , and change nothing but the place ; you have example for it , & reformation in a matter of consequence is never too late . You cannot chuse but know that the Indians , ever since the Gymnosophists , have been held the wisest of men , and almost the only sages . It is reported that that there is among them a Bancan nation , so named in that part , which now they call Guzzarat , who almost only conceiving of the excellency and endowments of this admirable creature , do cherish , harbour , and welcome it , as much as they can . Now as hee is wonderfully multiplying and increasing , after that his numerous ofspring is begun to be diffusedly propogated , Where childrens children thronged be , And their nephewed progeny . That nation calleth for a Priest out of a desart , who receiving them with his hallowed hands , putteth them in his head , for their honest education . Some when they catch them , lay , and hide them in chincks of wals ; and if any one in their presence do go about to kill them , they make intercession with their teares , and prayers , to forbeare such a sinne in in their sight : and if all be in vaine , they give a golden ransome for their lives , and pay it down on the nayle . With these the wisest nation , the Iewes do agree , who in their Talmud or Canon-law , do censure the murderer of a Louce on the Sabbath day , and hold it unlawfull to looke for Lice by their Sabbath candels If you never heard of this , now at last bee moved , and let your conscience feele some compunction : Be mercifull to them , J adiure you by the ghosts of their martyred predecessours . Spare your miserable suppliant conquered , cosens and kindred , that are borne of you , that are bred by you , which tend on you , follow you , and adhere to you ; which are ready to undergo either fortune with you . Beware , lest you apostatize from truth , by idolatrizing upon only fancy , or maintaining stifly a conceit aggravated with felony .