The English Traveller Heywood, Thomas This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A03195 of text S104058 in the English Short Title Catalog (STC 13315). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. Martin Mueller Incompletely or incorrectly transcribed words were reviewed and in many cases fixed by Nayoon Ahn Hannah Bredar This text has not been fully proofread EarlyPrint Project Evanston IL, Notre Dame IN, St.Louis, Washington MO 2017 Distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License A03195.xml The English traueller. As it hath beene publikely acted at the Cock-pit in Drury-lane: by Her Maiesties seruants. Written by Thomas Heyvvood. Heywood, Thomas, d. 1641. 40 600dpi TIFF G4 page images University of Michigan, Digital Library Production Service Ann Arbor, Michigan 2003 January (TCP phase 1) 99839798 STC (2nd ed.) 13315. Greg, II, 484. 4250 A03195 2240935645

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 The English traueller. As it hath beene publikely acted at the Cock-pit in Drury-lane: by Her Maiesties seruants. Written by Thomas Heyvvood. English traveller English traveller. Heywood, Thomas, d. 1641. [80] p. Printed by Robert Raworth: dwelling in Old Fish-street, neere Saint Mary Maudlins Church, London : 1633. 1627

Signatures: A-K4.

Reproduction of the original in the New York Public Library.

 A03195 shc The English Traveller Heywood, Thomas Nayoon Ahn Hannah Bredar 1627 play comedy shc no A03195 S104058 (STC 13315). 80 28873 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.00 A This text has no known defects that were recorded as gap elements at the time of transcription. Incorporated ~ 10,000 textual changes made to the SHC corpus by Hannah Bredar, Kate Needham, and Lydia Zoells between April and July 2015 during visits, separately or together, to the Bodleian, Folger and Houghton Libraries as well as the Rare Book Libraries at Northwestern University and the University of Chicago Boston Public Library, PR2574.E5 1633B

THE ENGLISH TRAVELLER . AS IT HATH BEENE Publikely acted at the COCK-PIT In Drury-lane : By Her Maiesties seruants .

Written by THOMAS HEYWOOD .

Aut prodesse solent , aut delectare —

LONDON , Printed by Robert Raworth : dwelling in Old Fish-street , neere Saint Mary Maudlins Church . 1633 .

Dramatis Personae . Geraldine . Dalauill . Two yong Gentlemen . Olde Wincott The husband . His Wife A yong Gentlewoman . Prudentilla Sister to the wife . Reignald A parasiticall seruing-man . Robin A countrey seruing-man . Lionell A riotous Citizen . Blanda A Whore . Scapha A Bawde . Rioter A Spend-thrift Two Gallants His Companions . Roger the Clowne Seruant to Olde Wincott . Two prostitutes Companions with Blanda . Olde Lionell A Merchant father to yong Lionell . A Seruant To Olde Lionell . Olde Mr. Geraldine Father to yong Geraldine . An Vsurer and his man . A Gentleman Companion with Dalauill . Besse Chambermaid to Mistris Wincott . A Tauerne Drawer . Master Ricott A Merchant . The Owner of the house , supposed to be possest .
TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFVLL Sir HENRY APPLETON , Knight Barronet , &c. NOBLE SIR ,

FOr many reason I am induced , to present this Poem , to your fauourable acceptance ; and not the least of them that alternate Loue , and those frequent curtesies which interchangably past , betwixt your selfe and that good old Gentleman , mine vnkle ( Master Edmund Heywood ) whom you pleased to grace by the Title of Father : I must confesse , I had altogether slept ( my weaklines and bashfullnesse discouraging mee ) had they not bin waken'd and animated , by that worthy Gentleman your friend , and my countrey-man , Sir William Eluish , whom ( for his vnmerited loue many wayes extended towards me , ) I much honour ; Neither Sir , neede you to thinke it any vnderualuing of your worth , to vndertake the patronage of a Poem in this nature , since the like hath beene done by Roman Laelius , Scipio , Mecaenas , and many other mighty Princes and Captaines , Nay , euen by Augustus Caesar himselfe , concerning whom Ouid is thus read , Detristi : lib. 2.

Inspice ludorum sumptus Auguste tuorum Empta tibimagno , talia multa leges . Haec tu spectasti , spectandaque saepe de desti Maiestas adeo comis vbique tua est .

So highly were they respected in the most flourishing estate of the Roman Empire ; and if they haue beene vilefied of late by any Separisticall humorist , ( as in the now questioned Histrio-mastix ) I hope by the next Terme , ( Minerua assistente ) to giue such satisfaction to the world , by vindicating many particulars in that worke maliciously exploded and condemned , as that no Gentleman of qualitie and iudgement , but shall therein receiue a reasonable satisfaction ; I am loth by tediousnesse to grow troublesome , therefore conclude with a gratefull remembrance of my seruice intermixt with Miriads of zealous wishes for your health of body , and peace of minde , with superabundance of Earths blessings , and Heauens graces , euer remaining ;

Yours most obseruant , Thomas Heywood .
To the Reader .

IF Reader thou hast of this Play beene an auditour ? there is lesse apology to be vsed by intreating thy patience . This Tragi-Comedy ( being one reserued amongst two hundred and twenty , in which I haue had either an entire hand , or at the least a maine finger , comming accidentally to the Presse , and I hauing Intelligence thereof , thought it not fit that it should passe as filius populi , a Bastard without a Father to acknowledge it : True it is , that my Playes are not exposed unto the world in Volumes , to beare the title of Workes , ( as others ) one reason is , That many of them by shifting and change of Companies , haue beene negligently lost , Others of them are still retained in the hands of some Actors , who thinke it against their peculiar profit to haue them come in Print , and a third , That it never was any great ambition in me , to bee in this kind Volumniously read . All that I haue further to say at this time is onely this : Censure I intreat as fauourably , as it is exposed to thy view freely . euer

Studious of thy Pleasure and Profit , Thomas Heywood .
The Prologue . A Strange Play you are like to haue , for know , We use no Drum , nor Trumpet , nor Dumbe show ; No Combate , Marriage , not so much to day , As Song , Dance , Masque , to bumbaste out a Play ; Yet thèse all good , and still in frequent vse With our best Poets ; nor is this excuse Made by our Author , as if want of skill Caus'd this defect ; it 's rather his selfe will : Will you the reason know ? There haue so many Beene in that kind , that Hee desires not any At this time in His Sceane , no helpe , no straine , Or flash that 's borrowed from an others braine ; Nor speakes Hee this that Hee would haue you feare it , He onely tries if once bare Lines will beare it ; Yet may 't afford , so please you silent sit , Some Mirth , some Matter , and perhaps some Wit .
THE ENGLISH TRAVELLER .
Actus primus .
Scena prima . Enter young Geraldine and master Dalauill . Dal. OH friend , that I to mine owne Notion Had ioyned but your experience ; I haue the Theoricke , But you the Practicke . Y. Ger. I perhaps , haue seene what you haue onely read of . Dal. There 's your happinesse . A Scholler in his study knowes the starres , Their motion and their influence , which are fixt , And which are wandering , can decipher Seas , And giue each seuerall Land his proper bounds ; But set him to the Compasse , hee 's to secke , When a plaine Pilot can , direct his course From hence vnto both th' Indies ; can bring backe His ship and charge , with profits quintuple . I haue read Ierusalem , and studied Rome , Can tell in what degree each City stands , Describe the distance of this place from that , All this the Scale in euery Map can teach , Nay , for a neede could punctually recite The Monuments in either ; but what I Haue by relation onely , knowledge by trauell Which still makes vp a compleat Gentleman , Prooues eminent in you . Y. Ger. I must confesse , I haue seene Ierusalem and Rome , haue brought Marke from th' one , from th' other Testimony , Know Spaine , and France , and from their ayres haue suckt A breath of euery language : but no more Of this discourse since wee draw neere the place Of them we goe to visit . Enter Clowne . Clo. Noble master Geraldine , worshipfull master Dalauill . Dal. I see thou still remember'st vs . Clo.

Remember you , I haue had so many memorandomes from the multiplicities of your bounties , that not to remember you were to forget my selfe , you are both most ingeniously and nobly welcome .

Y. Ger.

And why ingeniously and nobly ?

Clo.

Because had I giuen your welcomes other attributes then I haue done , the one being a Souldier , and the other seeming a Scholler , I should haue lied in the first , and shewed my selfe a kind of block-head in the last .

Y. Ger. I see your wit is nimble as your tongue , But how doth all at home ? Clo.

Small doings at home sir , in regard that the age of my Master corresponds not with the youth of my Mistris , and you know cold Ianuary and lusty May seldome meet in coniunction .

Dal.

I doe not thinke but this fellow in time may for his wit and vnderstanding make Almanackes ?

Clo.

Not so sir , you being more iudicious then I , i le giue you the preeminence in that , because I see by proofe you haue such iudgement in times and seasons .

Dal.

And why in times and seasons ?

Clo.

Because you haue so seasonably made choise , to come so iust at dinner time ; you are welcome Gentlemen , i le goe tell my Master of your comming .

Exit Clowne . Dal. A pleasant knaue . Y. Ger. This fellow I perceiue Is well acquainted with his Masters mind , Oh t is a good old man . Dal. And shee a Lady . For Beauty and for Vertue vnparraleld , Nor can you name that thing to grace a woman Shee has not in a full perfection , Though in their yeeres might seeme disparity . And therefore at the first , a match vnfit ; Imagine but his age and gouernement , Withall , her modesty , and chaste respect ; Betwixt them , there 's so sweet a simpathie , As crownes a noble marriage . Y. Ger. T is acknowledged , But to the worthy gentleman himselfe , I am so bound in many courtesies , That not the least , by all th' expression My Labour , or my Industry can shew , I will know how to cancell . Dal. Oh you are modest . Y. Ger. Hee studies to engrosse mee to himself , And is so wedded to my company , Hee makes mee stranger to my Fathers house , Although so neere a neighbour . Dal. This approues you , To be most nobly propertied , that from one So exquisite in Iudgement , can Attract So affectionate an eye . Y. Ger. Your Carracter , I must bestow on his vnmerrited Ioue , As one that know I haue it , and yet ignorant Which way I should deserue it : Heere both come . Enter old Mr. Wincott , Wife , Prudentilla the sister , and the Clowne . Winc. Gentlemen , welcome , but what neede I vse A word so common , vnto such to whom My house was neuer priuate ; I expect You should not looke for such a needles phrase , Especially you Master Geraldine , Your Father is my neighbour , and I know you , Euen from the Cradle , then I loued your Infancy , And since your riper growth better'd by trauell ; My wife and you , in youth were play-fellowes , And nor now be strangers ; as I take it , Not aboue two yeeres different in your Age . Wife . So much hee hath out stript mee . Winc. I would haue you Thinke this your home , free as your Fathers house , And to command it , as the Master on 't ; Call bouldly heere , and entertaine your friends , As in your owne possessions , when I see 't , I le say you loue me truely , not till then ; Oh what a happinesse your Father hath , Farre aboue mee , one to inherit after him , Where I ( Heauen knowes ) am childlesse . Y. Ger. That defect Heauen hath supplied in this your vertuous Wife , Both faire , and full of all accomplishments . My Father is a Widower , and heerein Your happinesse transcends him . Wife . Oh Master Geraldine , Flattery in Men's an adiunct of their sex , This Countrie breeds it , and for that , so farre You needed not to haue trauell'd . Y. Ger. Trueth 's a word , That should in euery language relish well , Nor haue I that exceeded . Wife . Sir , my Husband Hath tooke much pleasure in your strange discourse About Ierusalem and the Holy Land ; How the new Citie differs from the old , What ruines of the Temple yet remayne , And whether Sion , and those hills about , With these Adiacent Townes and Villages , Keepe that proportioned distance as wee read ; And then in Rome , of that great Piramis Reared in the Front , on foure Lyons Mounted , How many of those Idoll Temples stand , First dedicated to their Heathen gods , Which ruined , which to better vse repayred , Of their Panthaeon , and their Capitoll , What Structures are demolish't , what remaine . Winc. And what more pleasure to an old mans eare , That neuer drew , saue his owne Countries aire , Then heare such things related . I doe exceed him In yeeres , I must confesse , Yet he much older Then I in his experience . Prud. Master Geraldine , May I bee bould to aske you but one question . The which I 'de be resolued in . Y. Ger. Any thing , that lies within my knowledge . Winc. Put him too 't , Doe Sister , you shall finde him ( make no doubt ) Most pregnant in his answere . Prud. In your trauells Through France , through Sauoye , and through Italy , Spaine , and the Empire , Greece and Palestine , Which breedes the choycest beauties . Y. Ger. Introath Lady , I neuer cast on any in those parts A curious eye of censure , since my Trauell Was onely aymed at Language , and to know ; These past me but as common objects did , Seene , but not much regarded . Prud. Oh you striue To expresse a most vnheard of modestie , And seldome found in any Traueller , Especially of our Countrey , thereby seeking To make your selfe peculiar . Y. Ger. I should be loath Professe in outward shew to be one Man , And prooue my selfe another . Prud. One thing more , Were you to marry , You that know these clymes , Their states and their conditions , out of which Of all these countries would you chuse your wife . Y. Ger. I le answere you in briefe , ( as I obserue ) Each seuerall clime for obiect , fare , or vse , Affords within it selfe , for all of these What is most pleasing to the man there borne ; Spaine , that yeelds scant of food , affords the Nation A parsimonious stomach , where our appetites Are not content but with the large excesse Of a full table ; where the pleasing'st fruits Are found most frequent , there they best content ; Where plenty flowes , it askes abundant Feasts ; For so hath prouident Nature dealt with all ; So in the choyce of Women , the Greeke wantons Comple'd beneath the Turkish slauery , Vassaile themselues to all men , and such best Please the voluptious , that delight in change ; The French is of one humor , Spaine another , The hot Italian hee 's a straine from both , All pleased with their owne nations euen the Moore , Hee thinks the blackest the most beautifull ; And Lady , since you so farre taxe my choyce , I le thus resolue you ; Being an English man , Mong'st all these Nations I haue seene or tri'd , To please me best , heere would I chuse my bride . Pru. And happy were that Lady , in my thoughts , Whom you would deine that grace too . Wife . How now Sister , This is a fashion that 's but late come vp , For maids to court their husbands . Winc. I would wife It were no worse , vpon condition , They had my helping hand and purse to boote , With both in ample measure ; oh this Gentleman , I loue , nay almost doate on . Wife . Ya 'ue my leaue , To giue it full expression . Winc. In these armes then , Oh had my youth bin blest with such a sonne , To haue made my estate to my name hereditary , I should haue gone contented to my graue , As to my bed ; to death , as to my sleepe ; But Heauen hath will in all things , once more welcome , And you sir , for your friends sake . Dal. Would I had in mee , That which he hath , to haue clam'd it for mine owne , How euer , I much thanke you . Enter Clowne . Winc. Now sir , the newes with you . Clo. Dancing newes sir , For the meat stands piping hot vpon the dresser , The kitchin 's in a heat and the Cooke hath so bestir'd himselfe , That hee 's in a sweat . The Iacke plaies Musicke , and the Spits Turne round too 't . Winc. This fellowes my best clocke , Hee still strikes trew to dinner . Clo.

And to supper too sir , I know not how the day goes with you , but my stomacke hath strucke twelue , I can assure you that .

Winc. You take vs vnprouided Gentlemen , Yet something you shall finde and wee would rather Giue you the entertaine of houshold guests , Then complement of strangers , I pray enter . Exeunt . Manet Clo. Clo.

I le stand too 't , that in good hospitality , there can be nothing found that 's ill , he that 's a good house-keeper , keepes a good table , a good table , is neuer without good stooles , good stooles , seldome without good guests , good guests , neuer without good cheere , good cheere , cannot bee without good stomackes , good stomachs , without good digestion , good digestion , keepes men in good health , and therefore all good people , that beare good minds , as you loue goodnesse , be sure to keepe good meat and drinke in your houses , and so you shall be called good men , and nothing can come on 't but good , I warrant you .

Exit .
Actus Primus . Scena Secundus . Enter two seruing-men Reignald and Robin . Reig. Away you Corridon . Rob. Shall I bee beate out of my Masters house thus ? Reig. Thy Master , wee are Lords amongst our selues , And heere we Liue and Reigne , Two yeeres already Are past of our great Empire , and wee now Write , Anno Tertio . Rob. But the old man lives , That shortly will depose you . Reig. I th' meane time , I , as the mighty Lord and Seneshcall Of this great house and castle , banish thee , The very smell a th' kitchin , bee it death , To appeare before the dresser , Rob. And why so ? Reig. Because thou stink'st of garlike , is that breath Agreeing with our Pallace , where each Roome , Smells with Muske , Ciuit , and rich Amber-greece , Alloes , Cassia , Aromaticke-gummes , Perfumes , and Pouders , one whose very garments Scent of the fowlds and stables , oh fie , fie , What a base nastie rogue t is . Rob. Yet your fellow . Reig. Then let vs put a Cart-Horse in rich trappings . And bring him to the Tilt-yard . Rob. Prancke it , doe , Waste , Ryot , and Consume , Mispend your Howres In drunken Surfets , lose your dayes in sleepe , And burne the nights in Reuells , Drinke and Drab , Keepe Christmasse all yeere long , and blot leane Lent Out of the Calender ; all that masse of wealth Got by my Masters sweat and thristy care , Hauocke in prodigall vses ; Make all flie , Powr 't downe your oylie throats , or send it smoaking Out at the tops of chimnies : At his departure , Was it the old mans charge to haue his windowes Glister all night with Starres ? his modest House Turn'd to a common Stewes ? his Beds to pallats Of Lusts and Prostitutions ? his Buttrey hatch Now made more common then a Tauernes barre , His Stooles that welcom'd none but ciuill guests , Now onely free for Pandars , Whores and Bawdes , Strumpets , and such . Reig. I suffer thee too long , What is to me thy countrey , or to thee The pleasure of our Citie ? thou hast Cowes , Cattell , and Beeues to feed , Oues and Boues , These that I keepe , and in this pasture graze , Are dainty Damosellaes , bonny Girles ; If thou be'st borne to Hedge , Ditch , Thrash and Plough And I to Reuell , Banquet and Carrowse ; Thou Pessant , to the Spade and Pickaxe , I The Battoone and Steeletto thinke it onely Thy ill , my good , our seuerall lots are cast , And both must be contented . Rob. But when both our seruices are questioned . Reig. Looke thou to one , My answere is prouided . Enter Y. Lionell . Rob. Farewell Musk-Cat . Exit . Reig. Adue good Cheese and Oynons , stuffe thy guts With Specke and Barley-pudding for disgestion , Drinke Whig and sowre Milke , whilest I rince my Throat , With Burdeaux and Canarie . Y. Lio. What was hee ? Reig. A Spie Sir , One of their Hindes o th' countrey , that came prying To see what dainty fare our kitchin yeelds , What Guests we harbour , and what rule we keepe , And threats to tell the old man when he comes ; I thinke I sent him packing . Y. Lio. It was well done . Reig. A whoreson-Iack-an-apes , a base Baboone , To insinuate in our secrets . Y. Lio. Let such keepe , the Countrey where their charge is . Reig. So I said Sir . Y. Lio. And visit vs when we command them thence , Not search into our counsels . Reig. 'T were not fit . Y. Lio. Who in my fathers absence should command , Saue I his only sonne ? Reig. It is but iustice . Y. Lio. For am not I now Lord ? Reig. Dominus fac totum . And am not I your Steward ? Y. Lio. Well remembred , This night I haue a purpose to bee Merry , Iouiall and Frollicke , how doth our cash hold out ? Reig. The bag 's still heauy . Y. Lio. Then my heart 's still light . Reig. I can assure you , yet t is pritty deepe , Tho scarce a mile to th' bottome . Y. Lio. Let mee haue to Supper , Let mee see , a Ducke — Reig. Sweet Rogue . Y. Lio. A Capon — Reig. Geld the Rascall . Y Lio. Then a Turkey — Reig. Now spit him for an Infidell . Y. Lio. Greene Plouer , Snite , Partridge , Larke , Cocke , and Phessant . Reig. Nere a Widgin ? Y. Lio. Yes , wait thy selfe at Table . Reig. Where I hope your selfe will not be absent . Y. Lio. Nor my friends . Reig. Wee le haue them then in plenty . Y. Lio. Cauiare , Sturgeon , Anchoues , pickle Oysters : Yes , And a Potato Pie ; besides all these , What thou think'st rare and costly . Reig. Sir , I know What 's to be done ; the stocke that must be spent , Is in my hands , and what I haue to doe , I will doe suddenly . Y. Lio. No Butchers meat , Of that , beware in any case . Reig. I still remember , Your father was no Grasier , if he were , This were a way to eate vp all his Fields , Hedges and all . Y. Lio. You will be gone sir . Reig. Yes , and you are i th' way going . Exit . Y. Lio. To what may yong men best compare themselues ? Better to what , then to a house new built ? The Fabricke strong , the Chambers well contriu'd , Polisht within , without , well beautifi'd ; When all that gaze vpon the Edifice , Doe not alone commend the workemans craft , But either make it their faire president By which to build another , or at least , Wish there to inhabite : Being set to sale , In comes a slothfull Tenant , with a Family As lasie and debosht ; Rough tempests rise , Vntile the roofe , which by their idlenesse , Left vnrepaired , the stormy showres beat in , Rot the maine Postes and Rafters , spoile the Roomes , Deface the Seelings , and in little space , Bring it to vtter Ruine , yet the fault , Not in the Architector that first reared it , But him that should repaire it : So it fares With vs yong men ; Wee are those houses made , Our Parents raise these Structures , the foundation Laid in our Infancy ; and as wee grow In yeeres , they striue to build vs by degrees , Story on story higher ; vp at height , They couer vs with Councell , to defend vs From stormes without : they polish vs within , With Learnings , Knowledge , Arts and disciplines ; All that is nought and vicious , they sweepe from vs , Like Dust and Cobwebs , and our Roomes concealed , Hang with the costliest hangings ; Bout the Walls , Emblemes and beautious Symbols pictured round ; But when that lasie Tenant , Loue , steps in , And in his Traine , brings Sloth and Negligence , Lust , Disobedience , and profuse Excesse ; The Thrift with which our fathers tiled our Roofes , Submits to euery storme and Winters blast , Enter Blanda a Whore , and Scapha a Bawde . And yeelding place to euery riotous sinne , Giues way without , to ruine what 's within : Such is the state I stand in . Blan. And how doth this Tire become me ? Sca. Rather aske , how your sweet carriage , And Court behauiour , doth best grace you , for Louers regard , Not so much the outward habit , as that which the garment couers . Y. Lio. Oh heer 's that Haile , Shower , Tempest , Storme , and Gust , That shatter'd hath this building ; Let in Lust , Intemperance appetite to Vice ; withall , Neglect of euery Goodnesse ; Thus I see , How I am sincking in mine owne disease , Yet can I not abide it . Bla. And how this Gowne ? I prethee view mee well , And speake with thy best Iudgement . Sca. What doe you talke of Gownes , and Ornaments ; That haue a Beautie , pretious in it selfe , And becomes any thing . Y. Lio. Let me not liue , but she speaks nought but truth , And i le for that reward her . Bla. All 's one to mee , become they mee , or not , Or bee I faire , or fowle , in others eyes , So I appeare so to my Lionell , Hee is the glasse , in whom I iudge my face , By whom in order , I will dresse these curles , And place these Iewels , onely to please him , Why do'st smile . Sca.

To heere a Woman , that thinks her selfe so wise , speake so foolishlie , that knowes well , and does ill .

Bla.

Teach me wherein I erre .

Sca.

I le tell thee Daughter ; In that thou knowest thy selfe to bee beloued of so many , and setlest thy affection , only vpon one ; Doth the Mill grinde onely , when the Wind sits in one corner ? Or Shipps onely Saile , when it 's in this , or that quarter ? Is hee a cunning Fencer , that lies but at one Guard ? Or he a Skilfull Musician , that plaies but on one String ? Is there but one way to the Wood ? And but one Bucket that belongs to the Well ? To affect one , and despise all other , becomes the precise Matron , not the Prostitute ; the loyall Wife , not the loose Wanton : Such haue I beene , as you are now , and should learne , to Saile with all Windes , defend all Blowes , make Musicke with all Strings , know all the wayes , to the Wood , and like a good trauelling Hackney , learne to drinke of all Waters .

Y. Lio. May I miscarry in my Blandaes loue ; If I that old damnation , doe not send To Hell , before her time . Bla. I would not haue you Mother , teach me ought , That tends to iniure him . Sca.

Well looke too 't when 't is late , and then repent at leasure , as I haue done ; Thou see'st , heere s nothing but Prodigallity and Pride , Wantoning , and Wasting , Rioting , and Reuelling , Spoyling , and Spending , Gluttony , and Gormondising , all goes to Hauocke , and can this hold out ? When he hath nothing left , to helpe himselfe , how can he Harbour thee ? Looke at length , to Drinke from a dry Bottle , and feed from an emptie Knap-sacke , looke too 't , 't will come to that .

Y. Lio. My parsemony shall begin in thee , And instantly , for from this houre , I vow , That thou no more shalt Drinke vpon my cost , Nor taste the smallest Fragment from my Board ; I le see thee starue i th' street first . Sca.

Liue to one man ? a ieast , thou may'st aswell , tie thy selfe to one Gowne ; and what Foole , but will change with the Fashion , Yes , doe , Confine thy selfe to one Garment , and vse no Varietie , and see how soone it will Rot , and turne to Raggs .

Y. Lio. Those Raggs , be thy Reward ; Oh my sweet Blanda , Onely for Thee , I wish my Father dead , And neere to Rouse vs from our Sweet delight ; But for this Hag , this Beldam , shee whose backe , Hath made her Items , in my Mercers Bookes , Whose raucous Guts , I haue Stuft with Delicates , Nay euen to Surfit ; And whose frozen Blood , I haue Warmed with Aquauitae ; Be this day My last of Bounty , to a Wretch Ingrate , But vnto Thee , a new Indenture Scaled , Of an affection fixt , and Permanent , I le loue thee still , bee 't but to giue the lye , To this old Cancker'd Worme . Bla. Nay , be not angrie . Y. Lio. With thee , my Soule shall euer be at peace , But with this loue seducer , still at Warre . Enter Rioter and two Gallants . Sca. Heere me but speake . Y. Lio. Ope but thy lips againe , it makes a way , To haue thy Tongue pluck'd out . Rio. What all in Tempest ? Y. Lio. Yes , and the Storme , raised by that Witches Spells . Oh 't is a Damn'd Inchantresse . Rio. What 's the businesse ? Bla. Onely some few words , slipt her vnawares , For my Sake , make her peace . Rio. You charge me deepely , Come Friend , will you be Moou'd at womens Words , A man of your knowne iudgement ? Y. Lio. Had you but heard , The damn'd Erronious Doctrine that shee taught , You would haue iudg'd her to the Stake . Bla. But Sweet heart , Shee now Recants those Errours , once more Number her Amongst your Houshold seruants . Rio. Shall she beg , and be denyed ought from you ? Bla. Come this Kisse , Shall end all former quarells . Rio. 'T is not possible , Those Lippes should mooue in vaine , that two wayes plead ; Both in their Speech , and Silence . Y. Lio. You haue preuail'd , But vpon this Condition , no way else , I le Sensure her , as shee hath Sentenc'd thee ; But with some small Inuersion , Rio. Speake , how 's that ? Bla. Not too seuere , I prethee see poore wretch , Shee at the barre , stands quaking . Y. Lio. Now , hold vp ? Rio. How man , how ? Y. Lio. Her hand , I meane ; And now I l'e sentence thee , According to thy Councell giuen to her : Saile by one Winde ; Thou shalt , to one tune Sing , Lie at one Guard , and Play but on one String , Hencefoorth , I will Confine thee to one Garment , And that shall be a cast one , Like thy selfe Iust , past all Wearing , as thou past all Vse , And not to be renewed , til 't be as Ragged , As thou art Rotten . Bla. Nay sweet . Y. Lio. That for her Habbit . Sca. A cold Sute , I haue on 't , Y. Lio. To preuent Surfit , They Diet , sha I bee to one Dish confin'd , And that too Rifled , with as vncleane hands , As ere were laid on thee . Sca. What hee scants me in Victuals , would he but alow once in Drinke . Y. Lio. That shall be the refuse of the Flagons , Iaoks , And Snuffes , such as the nastiest Breathes shall leaue ; Of Wine , and Strong-water , neuer hope , Hencefoorth to Smell . Sca. Oh me , I Faint already . Y. Lio. If I sincke in my State , of all the rest , Be thou excused , what thou proposed to her , Beldam , is now against thy selfe decreed , Drinke from drie springs , from empty , Knap-sacks feede . Sca. No burnt Wine , nor Hot-waters . She Swounds . Y. Lio. Take her hence . Bla. Indeede you are too cruell . Y. Lio. Yes to her , Onely of purpose , to be kind to thee ; Are any of my Guests come ? Rio. Feare not Sir , You will haue a fill Table . Y. Lio. What , and Musicke ? Rio. Best Consort in the Citie , for fixe parts . Y. Lio. Wee shall haue Songs then ? Rio. by th' eare . Whispers . Y. Lio. And Wenches ? Rio. Yes by th' eyc. Bla. Ha , what was that you said ? Rio. We shall haue such to beare you company , As will no doubt content you . Y. Lio. Enter then : In Youth there is a Fate , that swayes vs still . To know what 's Good , and yet pursue what 's Ill . Exeunt omnes .
Actus Secundus .
Scena Prima . Enter old Master Wincott , and his Wife . Winc. And what 's this Dalauill ? Wife . My apprehension , Can giue him no more true expression , Then that he first appeares , a Gentleman , And well conditioned . Wino. That for outward shew ; But what in him haue you obserued else , To make him better knowne ? Wife . I haue nor Eyes , To search into the inward Thoughrs of Men , Nor euer was studied in that Art , To iudge of Meus affection by the face ; But that which makes me best opinion'd of him , Is , That he 's Companion , and the Friend Beloued of him , whom you so much commend , The Noble Master Geraldine , Winc. Thou hast spoke , That which not onely crownes his true desert , But now instates him , in my better thoughts , Making his Worth , vnquestioned . Wife . Hee pretends Loue to my sister Pru. I haue obseru'd him , Single her out , to priuate conference . Winc. But I could rather , for her owne sake , wish Young Geraldine would fixe his thoughts that way , And shee towards him ; In such Affinity , Trust me , I would not vse a sparing hand . Wife . But Loue in these kindes , should not be compel'd , Forc'd , nor Perswaded ; When it freely Springs , And of it selfe , takes voluntary Roote , It Growes , it Spreads , it Ripens , and brings foorth , Such an Vsurious Crop of timely Fruit , As crownes a plentious Autume . Enter Clowne . Winc. Such a Haruest , I should not be th' vngladdest man to see , Of all thy sisters friends : Now , whence come you ? Clo.

Who , I Sir , From a Lodging of Lardgesse , a House of Hospitality , and a Pallace of Plenty ; Where there 's Feeding like Horses , and Drinking like Fishes ; Where for Pints , w' are serued in Pottles ; and in stead of Pottle-pots , in Pailes ; in stead of Siluer-tanckards , we drinke out of Water-tanckards ; Clarret runs as freely , as the Cocks ; and Canarie , like the Conduits of a Coronation day ; Where there 's nothing but Feeding and Frollicking ; Caruing in Kissing ; Drinking , and Dauncing ; Musicke and Madding ; Fidsing and Feasting .

Winc.

And where , I pray thee , are all these Reuels kept ?

Clo.

They may be rather called Reakes then Reuells ; As I came along by the doore , I was call'd vp amongst them ; Hee-Gallants , and Shee-Gallants , I no sooner look'd out ; but saw them out with their Kniues , Slashing of Shoulders , Mangling of Legs , and Lanching of Loynes , till there was scarce a whole Limbe lest amongst them .

Winc.

A fearefull Massacre .

Clo.

One was Hacking to cut off a Necke , this was Mangling a Brest , his Knife slip from the Shoulder , and onely cut of a Wing , one was picking the Braines out of a Head , another was Knuckle deepe in a Belly , one was Groping for a Liuer , another Searching for the Kidneyes ; I saw one plucke the Sole from the Body ( Goose that she was to suffer 't ) another prickt into the Breast with his one Bill , Woodcocke to indure it .

Wife .

How fell they out at first ?

Clo.

I know not that , but it seemes , one had a Stomacke , and another had a Stomacke ; But there was such biting and tearing with their teeths , that I am sure , I saw some of their poore Carcasses pay for 't .

Winc.

Did they not send for Surgeons ?

Clo.

Alas no , Surgeons helpe was too late ; There was no stitching vp of those Wounds , where Limbe was pluckt from Limbe ; Nor any Salue for those Scarrs , which all the Plaister of Paris cannot Cure .

Winc.

Where grew the quarrell first ?

Clo.

It seems it was first Broacht in the Kitchin ; Certaine creatures being brought in thither , by some of the House ; The Cooke being a Colloricke fellow , did so Towse them and Tosse them , so Plucke them and Pull them , till hee left them as naked as my Naile , Pinioned some of them like Fellons ; Cut the Spurres from others of their Heeles ; Then downe went his Spits , Some of them he ranne in at the Throat , and out at the Back-side ; About went his Basting-Ladle , where he did so besawce them , that many a shrode turne they had amongst them .

Wife .

But in all this , How did the Women scape ?

Clo.

They fared best , and did the least hurt that I saw ; But for quietnesse sake , were forc'd to swallow what is not yet digested , yet euery one had their share , and shee that had least , I am sure by this time , hath her belly full .

Winc.

And where was all this hauocke kept ?

Clo.

Marry Sir , at your next neighbours , Young Master Lionell , Where there is nothing but Drinking out of Dry-Fats , and Healthing in Halfe-Tubs , his Guests are fed by the Belly , and Beggers serued at his Gate in Baskets ; Hee 's the Adamant of this Age , the Daffadill of these dayes , the Prince of Prodigallity , and the very Caesar of all young Citizens .

Winc.

Belike then , 't was a Massacre of meat , not as I apprehended ?

Clo.

Your grauity hath gest aright ; The chiefest that fell in this Battell , were wild Fowle and tame Fowle ; Phessants were wounded in stead of Alfaresse , and Capons for Captaines , Anchoues stood for Antiants , and Cauiare for Corporals , Dishes were assaulted in stead of Ditches , and Rabbets were cut to pieces vpon the rebellings , some lost their Legs , whil'st other of their wings were forc'd to flie ; The Pioner vndermind nothing but Pie-crust ; And —

Winc. Enough , enough , your wit hath plai'd too long vpon our patience ; Wife , it grieues me much both for the yong and old man , the one , Graces his head with care , endures the parching heat and biting cold , The terrours of the Lands , and feares at Sea in trauell , onely to gaine Some competent estate to leaue his sonne ; Whiles all that Merchandise , through Gulfes , Crosse-Tides , Pirats and Stormes , he brings so farre ; Th' other Heere Shipwrackes in the Harbour . Wife . T is the care of Fathers ; and the weakenesse Incident to youth , that wants experience . Enter Y. Geraldine , Dallauill , Prudentilla , laughing . Clo. I was at the beginning of the Battell , But heere comes some , that it seemes Were at the rifling of the dead Carcasses ; For by their mirth , they haue had part of the Spoile . Winc. You are pleasant , Gentlemen , what I entreat Might be the Subiect of your pleasant sport , It promiseth some pleasure ? Prud. If their recreation Bee , as I make no question , on truth grounded , 't will beget sudden laughter . Wife . What 's the Proiect ? Dal. Who shall relate it . Winc. Master Geraldine , if there be any thing can please my Eare , With pleasant soundes , your Tongue must be the Instrument , On which the String must strike . Dal. Bee 't his then . Prud. Nay heare it , 't is a good one . Wife Wee intreat you , Possesse vs o th' Nouell , Winc. Speake , good Sir . Y. Ger. I shall then , with a kind of Barbarisme , Shaddow a Ieast , that askes a smoother Tongue , For in my poore discourse , I doe protest , 't will but loose his luster . Wife You are Modest . Winc Howeuer speake , I pray ; For my sake doo 't ? Clo.

This is like a hastie Pudding , longer in eating then it was in making .

Y. Ger. Then thus it was , this Gentleman and I , Past but iust now , by your next Neighbours house , Where as they say , dwels one Young Lionell . Clo. Where I was to night at Supper . Winc. An vnthrist Youth , his Father now at Sea . Y. Ger. Why that 's they very Subiect , vpon which It seemes , this Iest is grounded , there this Night , Was a great feast . Clo. Why so I told you , Sir . Winc. Bee thou still dumbe , 't is hee that I would heare . Y. Ger. In the height of their Carowsing , all their braines , Warm'd with the heat of Wine ; Discourse was offer'd , Of Ships , and Stormes at Sea ; when suddenly , Out of his giddy wildnesse , one conceiues The Roome wherein they quafft , to be a Pinnace , Mouing and Floating ; and the confused Noise , To be the murmuring Windes , Gusts , Marriners ; That their vnstedfast Footing , did proced From rocking of the Vessell : This conceiu'd , Each one begins to apprehend the danger , And to looke out for safety , flie saith one Vp to the Manne-top , and discourer ; Hee Climbes by the bed post , to the Teaster , there Reports a Turbulent Sea and Tempest towards ; And wills them if they 'le saue their Ship and lines , To cast their Lading ouer-board ; At this All fall to Worke , and Hoyste into the Street , As to the Sea , What next come to their hand , Stooles , Tables , Tressels , Trenchers , Bed-steds , Cups , Pots , Plate , and Glasses ; Heere a fellow Whistles , They take him for the Boat-swaine , one lyes strugling Vpon the floore , as if he swome for life , A third , takes the Base-violl for the Cock-boate , Sits in the belly on 't , labours and Rowes ; His Oare , the Sticke with which the Fidler plaid ; A fourth , bestrides his Fellowes , thinking to scape As did Arion , on the Dolphins backe , Still fumbling on a gitterne . Clo. Excellent Sport . Winc. But what was the conclusion ? Y. Ger. The rude multiude , Watching without , and gaping for the spoyle Cast from the windowes , went by th' eares about it ; The Constable is called to Attone the broyle , Which done , and hearing such a noise within , Of eminent Ship-racke ; enters the house , and finds them In this confusion , They Adore his staffe , And thinke it Neptunes Trident , and that hee Comes with his Tritons , ( so they cal'd his watch ) To calme the Tempest , and appease the Waues ; And at this point , wee left them . Clo. Come what will , i le steale out of Doores , And see the end of it , that 's certaine . Exit . Winc. Thanks Master Geraldine , for this discourse , Introath it hath much pleased mee , but the night Begins to grow faste on vs , for your parts , You are all young , and you may sit vp late , My eyes begin to summon mee to sleepe , And nothing's more offensiue vnto Age , Then to watch long and late . Y. Ger. Now good Rest with you . Dal. What saies faire Prudentilla ? Maids and Widdows , And wee young Batchelors , such as indeed Are forc'd to lie in Solitary beds , And sleepe without disturbance ; wee methinks , Should desire later houres ; when Married Wines , That in their amorus armes , hug their delights ; To often wakings subiect ; their more hast , May better be excused . Prud. How can you , That are as you confesse , a single man , Enter so farre into these Misticall secrets Of Mariage , which as yet you neuer prooued . Dal. There 's Lady , an instinct innate in man , Which prompts vs to the apprehensions Of th' vses wee were borne to ; Such we are Aptest to learne ; Ambitious most to know , Of which our chiefe is Marriage . Prud. What you Men Most meditate , wee Women seldome dreame of . Dal. When dreame Maids most ? Prud. When thinke you ? Dal. When you lie vpon your Backs , come come , your Eare . Exit Dal. and Prud. Y. Ger. Wee now are left alone . Wife . Why say wee be who should be iealous of vs ? This is not first of many hundred Nights , That wee two haue beene priuate , from the first Of our acquaintance , when our Tongues but clipt Our Mothers-tongue , and could not speake it plaine , Wee knew each other ; As in slatnre , so Increast our sweet Societie ; Since your trauell , And my late Marriage , Through my Husbands loue , Mid-night hath beene as Mid-day , and my Bed-chamber , As free to you , as your owne Fathers house , And you as welcome too 't . Y. Ger. I must confesse , It is in you , your Noble Courtesie , In him , a more then common considence , And in this Age , can scarce find president . Wife . Most trew , it is withall an Argument , That both our vertues are so deepe imprest In his good thoughts , hee knowes we cannot erre . Y. Ger. A villaine were hee , to deceiue such trust , Or ( were there one ) a much worse Carracter . Wife . And she no lesse , whom either Beauty , Youth , Time , Place , or opportunity could tempt , To iniure such a Husband . Y. Ger. You deserue , euen for his sake , to be for euer young ; And hee for yours , to haue his Youth renew'd ; So mutuall is your trew coniugall Loue ; Yet had the Fates so pleas'd Wife . I know your meaning , It was once voyc'd , that wee two should haue Matcht , The World so thought , and many Tongues so spake , But Heauen hath now dispos'd vs otherwayes ; And being as it is , ( a thing in me , Which I protest , was neuer wisht , nor sought ) Now done , I not repent it . Y. Ger. In those times , Of all the Treasures of my Hopes and Loue , You were th' Exchequer , they were Stor'd in you ; And had not my vnfortunate Trauell crost them , They had bin heere reserued still . Wife . Troath they had , I should haue beene your trusty Treasurer . Y. Ger. Howeuer let vs Loue still , I intreat : That , Neighbour-hood and breeding will allow ; So much the Lawes Diuine and Humaine both , Twixt Brother and a Sister will approue ; Heauen then forbid , that they should limit vs Wish well to one another . Wife . If they should not , Wee might proclaime , they were not Charitable , Which were a deadly fin but to conceiue . Y. Ger. Will you resolue me one thing ? Wife .

As to one , that in my Bosome hath a second place , next my deere Husband .

Y. Ger. That 's the thing I craue , And onely that , to haue a place next him . Wife . Presume on that already , but perhaps , You meane to stretch it further . Y. Ger. Onely thus farre , Your Husbands old , to whom my Soule doth wish , A Nesters age , So much he merits from me ; Yet if ( as proofe and Nature daily teach ) Men cannot alwayes liue , especially Such as are old and Crazed ; Hee be cal'd hence , Fairely , in full maturity of time , And we two be reseru'd to after life , Will you conferre your Widow-hood on mee ? Wife . You aske the thing , I was about to beg ; Your tongue hath spake mine owne thoughts . Y. Ger. Vow to that . Wife . As I hope Mercy . Y. Ger. 'T is enough , that word Alone , instates me happy ; Now so please you , Wee will diuide , you to your priuate Chamber , I to find out my friend . Wife . Nay Master Geraldine , one Ceremonie rests yet vnperform'd , My Vow is past , your oath must next proceed , And as you couet to be sure of me , Of you I would be certaine . Y. Ger. Make ye doubt ? Wife . No doubt ; but Love 's still Iealous , and in that To be excused ; You then shall sweare by Heauen , And as in all your future Acts , you hope To thriue and prosper ; As the Day may yeeld Comfort , or the Night rest , as you would keepe Entire , the Honour of your Fathers house , And free your Name from Scandall and Reproach , By all the Goodnesse that you hope to enioy , Or ill to shun — Y. Ger. You charge me deeply Lady . Wife . Till that day come , you shall reserue your selfe A single man ; Conuerse nor company With any Woman , Contract nor Combine , With Maid , or Widow ; which expected houre , As I doe wish not haste , so when it happens , It shall not come vnwelcome ; You here all , Vow this . Y. Ger.

By all that you haue said , I sweare , and by this Kisse Confirme .

Wife . Y' are now my Brother , But then , my second Husband . Exeunt . Enter Y. Lionell , Rioter , Blanda , Scapha , two Gallants , and two Wenches , as newly wak'd from sleepe . Y. Lio. Wee had a stormy night on 't . Bla. The Wine still workes , And with the little rest they haue tooke to night , They are scarce come to themselues . Y. Lio. Now 't is a Calme , Thankes to those gentle Sea-gods , that haue brought vs To this safe Harbour ; Can you tell their names ? Sca. He with the Painted-staffe , I heard you call Neptune . Y. Lio. The dreadfull god of Seas , Vpon whose backe neere stucke March flees . 1. Gall. One with the Bill , keepes Neptunes Porposes , So Ouid sayes in 's Metamorphosis . 2. Gall. A third the learned Poets write on , And as they say , His name is Triton . Y. Lio. These are the Marine gods , to whom my father In his long voyage prayes too ; Cannot they That brought vs to our Hauen , bury him In their Abisse ? For if he safe ariue , I with these Sailors , Syrens , and what not , Am sure heere to be shipwrackt . 1. Wen. Stand vp stiffe . Rio. But that the ship so totters : I shall fall . 1. Wen. If thou fall , I le fall with thee . Rio. Now I sincke , And as I diue and drowne , Thus by degrees , I le plucke thee to the bottome . They fall . Y. Lio. A maine for England , See , see , Enter Reignald . The Spaniard now strikes Saile . Reig. So must you all . 1. Gall. Whence is your ship , from the Bermoothes ? Reig. Worse , I thinke from Hell : We are all Lost , Split , Shipwrackt , and vndone , This place is a meere quick-sands . 2. Gall. So we feared . Reig. Wher 's my young Master ? Y. Lio. Heere man , speake , the Newes ? Reig. The Newes is , I , and you — Y. Lio. What ? Reig. Shee , and all these — Bla. I ? Reig. We , and all ours , are in one turbulent Sea Of Feare , Dispaire , Disaster and mischance swallowed : Your father , Sir — Y. Lio. Why , what of him ? Reig. He is , Oh I want breath . Y. Lio. Where ? Reig. Landed , and at hand . Y. Lio. Vpon what coast ? Who saw him ? Reig. I , these eyes . Y. Lio. Oh Heauen , what shall I doe then ? Reig. Aske ye me what shall become of you , that haue not yet Had time of studdy to dispose my selfe ; I say againe , I was vpon the Key , I saw him land , and this way bend his course ; What drunkard 's this , that can out sleepe a storme Which threatens all our ruines ? Wake him . Ela. Ho , Rioter , awake . Rio. Yes , I am wake ; How dry hath this Salt-water made me ; Boy , Giue me th' other Glasse . Y. Lio. Arise , I say , My Fathers come from Sea . Rio. If he be come , Bid him be gone againe . Reig. Can you trifle at such a time , when your Inuentions . Braines , Wits , Plots , Deuices , Stratagems , and all Should be at one in action ? each of you That loue your safeties , lend your helping hands , Women and all , to take this drunkard hence , And to bestow him else where . Bla. Lift for Heauens sake . They carry him in . Reig. But what am I the neerer , were all these Conuey'd to sundry places and vnseene ; The staine of our disorders still remaine , Of which , the house will witnesse , and the old man Must finde when he enters ; And for these Enter againe . I am here left to answere : What is he gone ? Y. Lio. But whither ? But into th' selfe same house That harbours him ; my Fathers , where we all Attend from him surpriseall . Reig. I will make That Prison of your feares , your Sanctuary ; Goe get you in together . Y. Lio. To this house ? Reig. Your Fathers , with your Sweet-heart , these and all ; Nay , no more words but doo 't , Bla. That were to betray vs to his fury . Reig. I haue 't heere , To Baile you hence at pleasure ; and in th' interim , I le make this supposed Goale , to you , as safe From th' iniur'd old mans iust incensed spleene , As were you now together i th' Low-Countreyes , Viriginia , or i th' Indies . Bla. Present feare , Bids vs to yeeld vnto the faint beliefe Of the least hoped safety . Reig. Will you in ? Omn. By thee we will be counsell'd . Reig. Shut them fast . Y. Lio. And thou and I to leaue them ? Reig.

No such thing , for you shall beare your Sweet-heart company , And helpe to cheere the rest .

Y. Lio. And so thou Meanest to escape alone ? Reig. Rather without , I le stand a Champion for you all within ; Will you be swai'd ? One thing in any case I must aduise ; The gates boulted and lockt , See that 'mongst you no liuing voyce be heard ; No not so much as a Dog to howle , Or Cat to mewe , all silence , that I charge ; As if this were a meere forsaken house , And none did there inhabite . Y. Lio. Nothing else ? Reig. And though the old man thunder at the gates As if he meant to ruine what he had rear'd , None on their liues to answere . Y. Lio. 'T is my charge ; Remaines there nothing else ? Reig.

Onely the Key ; for I must play the goaler for your durance , To bee the Mercurie in your release .

Y. Lio. Me and my hope , I in this Key deliuer To thy safe trust . Reig. When you are fast you are safe , And with this turne 't is done : What fooles are these , To trust their ruin'd fortunes to his hands That hath betrai'd his owne ; And make themselues Prisoner to one deserues to lie for all , As being cause of all ; And yet something prompts me , I le stand it at all dangers ; And to recompence The many wrongs vnto the yong man done : Now , if I can doubly delude the old , My braine , about it then ; All 's husht within , The noise that shall be , I must make without ; And he that part for gaine , and part for wit , So farre hath trauell'd , striue to foole at home : Which to effect , Art must with Knauery ioyne , And smooth Dissembling meet with Impudence ; He doe my best , and howsoere it prooue , My praise or shame , 't is but a seruants loue . Enter old Lionell like a ciuill Merchant , with Water-men , and two seruants with Burdens and Caskets . Old Lio. Discharge these honest Sailors that haue brought Our Chests a shore , and pray them haue a care , Those merchandise be safe we left aboord : As Heauen hath blest vs with a fortunate Voyage , In which we bring home riches with our healthes , So let not vs prooue niggards in our store ; See them paid well , and to their full content . 1. Ser. I shall Sir . Old Lio. Then returne : These speciall things , And of most value , wee le not trust aboord ; Meethinkes they are not safe till they see home , And there repose , where we will rest our selues , And bid farewell to Trauell ; for I vow , After this houre , no more to trust the Seas , Nor throw mee to such danger . Reig. I could wish You had tooke your leaue o th' Land too . Old Lio. And now it much reioyceth me , to thinke What a most sudden welcome I shall bring , both to my Friends and priuate Family . Reig. Oh , but how much more welcome had he beene , That had brought certaine tidings of thy death . Old Lio. But soft , what 's this ? my owne gates shut vpon me , And barre their Master entrance ? Whos 's within there ? How , no man speake , are all asleepe or dead , Knocks aloud . That no soule stirres to open ? Reig. What madde man 's that , who weary of his life , Dares once lay hand on these accursed gates ? Old Lio. Whos 's that ? my seruant Reignald . Reig. My old Master , Most glad I am to see you ; Are you well Sir ? Old Lio. Thou see'st I am . Reig. But are you sure you are ? Feele you no change about you ? Pray you stand off . Old Lio. What strange and vnexpected greetings this , That thus a man may knocke at his owne gates , Beat with his hands and feet , and call thus loud , And no man giue him entrance ? Reig. Said you Sir ; Did your hand touch that hammer ? Old Lio. Why , whose else ? Reig. But are you sure you toucht it ? Old Lio. How else , I prethee , could I haue made this noise ? Reig. You toucht it then ? Old Lio. I tell thee yet I did . Reig. Oh for the loue I beare you , Oh me most miserable , you , for you owne sake , Of all aliue most wretched ; Did you touch it ? Old Lio. Why , say I did ? Reig. You haue then a sinne committed , No sacrifice can expiate to the Dead ; But yet I hope you did not . Old Lio. 'T is past hope , The deed is done , and I repent it not . Reig. You and all yours will doo 't . In this one rashnes , You haue vndone vs all ; Pray be not desperate , But first thanke Heauen that you haue escapt thus well ; Come from the gate , yet further , further yet , And tempt your fate no more ; Command your seruants Giue off and come no neerer , they are ignorant , And doe not know the danger , therefore pity That they should perish in 't ; 'T is full seuen moneths , Since any of your house durst once set foot Ouer that threshold . Old Lio. Prethee speake the cause ? Reig. First looke about , beware that no man heare , Command these to remooue . Old Lio. Be gone . Exit Seruants . Now speake . Reig. Oh Sir , This house is growne Prodigious , Fatall , Disasterous vnto you and yours . Old . Lio. What Fatall ? what Disasterous ? Reig. Some Host that hath beene owner of this house , In it his Guest hath slaine ; And we suspect 'T was he of whom you bought it . Old Lio. How came this Discouer'd to you first ? Reig. I le tell you Sir , But further from the gate : Your sonne one night Suppt late abroad , I within ; Oh that night , I neuer shall forget ; Being safe got home , I saw him in his chamber laid to rest ; And after went to mine , and being drowsie , Forgot by chance , to put the Candle out ; Being dead asleepe ; Your sonne affrighted , calls So loud , that I soone waken'd ; Brought in light , And found him almost drown'd in fearefull sweat ; Amaz'd to see 't , I did demand the cause : Who told me , that this murdered Ghost appeared , His body gasht , and all ore-stucke with wounds ; And spake to him as followes . Old Lio. Oh proceed , 't is that I long to heare . Reig. I am , quoth he , A Trans-marine by birth , who came well stored With Gold and Iewels , to this fatall house ; Where seeking safety , I encounter'd death : The couetous Merchant , Land-lord of this rent , To whom I gaue my life and wealth in charge ; Freely to enioy the one , rob'd me of both : Heere was my body buried , here my Ghost Must euer walke , till that haue Christian right ; Till when , my habitation must be here : Then flie yong man , Remooue thy family , And secke some safer dwelling : For my death , This mansion is accurst ; 'T is my possession , Bought at the deere rate of my life and blood , None enter here , that aymes at his owne good . And with this charge he vanisht . Old Lio. Oh my feare , Whither wilt thou transport me ? Reig. I Intreat keepe further from the gate , and flie . Old Lio. Flie whither ? Why doest not thou flie too ? Reig. What need I feare , the Ghost and I am friends . Old Lio. But Reignald . Reig. Tush , I nothing haue deserued , Nor ought transgrest : I came not neere the gate . Old Lio. To whom was that thou spakest ? Reig. Was 't you Sir nam'd me ? Now as I liue , I thought the dead man call'd , To enquire for him that thunder'd at the gate Which he so dearely pai'd for : Are you madd , To stand a fore-seene danger ? Old Lio. What shall I doe ? Reig. Couer you head and flie ; Lest looking backe , You spie your owne confusion . Old Lio. Why doest not thou flie too ? Reig. I tell you Sir , The Ghost and I am friends . Old Lio. Why didst thou quake then ? Reig. In feare lest some mischance may fall on you , That haue the dead offended , For my part , The Ghost and I am friends : Why flie you not , Since here you are not safe ? Old Lio. Some blest powers guard me . Reig. Nay Sir , i le not forsake you : I haue got the start ; But ete the goale , 't will aske both Braine and Art . Exeunt .
Actus Tertius .
Seena Prima . Enter old Master Geraldine , Y. Geraldine , Master Wincott , and Wife , Dalauill , Prudentilla . Winc. We are bound to you , kind Master Geraldine , For this great entertainement ; Troath your cost Hath much exceeded common neighbour-hood : You haue feasted vs like Princes . Old Ger. This , and more Many degrees , can neuer counteruaile The oft and frequent welcomes giuen my sonne : You haue tooke him from me quite , and haue I thinke , Adopted him into your family , He staies with me so seldome . Win. And in this , By trusting him to me , of whom your selfe May haue both vse and pleasure , y' are as kind As money'd men , that might make benefit Of what they are possest , yet to their friends In need , will lend it gratis . Wife . And like such , As are indebted more then they can pay ; Wee more and more confesse our selues engaged To you , for your forbearance . Prud. Yet you see , Like Debtors , such as would not breake their day ; The Treasure late receiued , wee tender backe , The which , the longer you can spare , you still The more shall binde vs to you . Old Ger. Most kind Ladies , Worthy you are to borrow , that returne The Principall , with such large vse of thanks . Dal. What strange felicitie these Rich men take , To talke of borrowing , lending , and of vse ; The vsurers language right . Winc. Y 'aue Master Geraldine , Faire walkes and gardens , I haue praised them , Both to my Wife and Sister . Old Ger. You would see them , There 's no pleasure that the House can yeeld , That can be debar'd from you ; prethee Sonne , Be thou the Vsher to those Mounts and Prospects May one day call thee Master . Y. Ger. Sir I shall ; Please you to walke . Prud. What Master Dalauill , Will you not beare vs company . Dal. 'T is not fit That wee should leaue our Noble host alone , Be you my Friends charge , and this old man mine . Prud. Well , bee 't then at your pleasure . Exeunt . Manet Dalauill and Old Geraldine . Dal. You to your Prospects , but there 's proiect heere That 's of another Nature ; Worthy Sir , I cannot but approue your happinesse , To be the Father of so braue a Sonne , So euery way accomplish't and made vp , In which my voice is least ; For I alasse , Beare but a meane part in the common quier , When with much lowder accents of his praise , So all the world reports him . Old Ger. Thanke my Starres , They haue lent me one , who as he alwayes was , And is my present ioy ; If their aspect Be no wayes to our goods Maleuolent , May be my Future comfort . Dal. Yet must I hold him happie aboue others , As one that Solie to himselfe inioyes What many others aime at ; But in vaine . Old Ger. How meane you that ? Dal. So Beautifull a Mistresse . Old Ger. A Mistresse , said you ? Dal. Yes Sir , or a Friend , Whether you please to stile her . Old Ger. Mistresse ? Friend ? Pray be more open languag'd . Dal. And indeed , Who can blame him to absent himselfe from home , And make his Fathers house but as a grange , For a Beautie so Attractiue ? Or blame her , Huging so weake an old Man in her armes , To make a new choice , of an equall youth , Being in him so Perfect ? yet introath , I thinke they both are honest . Old Ger. You haue Sir , Possest me with such strange fancies . Dal. For my part , How can I loue the person of your Sonne , And not his reputation ? His repaire So often to the House , is voyct by all , And frequent in the mouthes of the whole Countrey , Some equally addicted , praise his happinesse ; But others , more Censorious and Austere , Blame and reprooue a course so disolute ; Each one in generall , pittie the good man , As one vnfriendly dealt with , yet in my conscience , I thinke them truely Honest . Old Ger. 'T is suspitious . Dal. True Sir , at best ; But what when scandalous tongues Will make the worst ? and what good in it selfe , Sullie and staine by fabulous mis-report ; For let men liue as charie as they can , Their liues are often questioned , Then no wonder , If such as giue occasion of suspition , Be subiect to this scandall : What I speake , Is as a Noble Friend vnto your Sonne ; And therefore , as I glory in his Fame , I suffer in his wrong ; for as I liue , I thinke , they both are honest . Old Ger. Howsoeuer , I wish them so . Dal. Some course might be deuis'd , To stop this clamor ere it grow too wrancke ; Lest that which yet but inconuenience seemes , May turne to greater mischiefe ; This I speake In Zeale to both , in soueraine care of him As of a Friend ; And tender of her Honour , As one to whom I hope to be allyed , By Marriage with her Sister . Old Ger. I much thanke you , For you haue cleerely giuen me light of that , Till now I neuer dreamt on . Dal. 'T is my Loue , And therefore I intreat you , make not mee To be the first reporter . Old Ger. You haue done The office of a Noble Gentleman , And shall not be so iniur'd . Enter againe as from Walking Winc. Wife , Y. Ger. Prud. Winc. See Master Geraldine , How bold wee are , especially these Ladies Play little better then the theeues with you , For they haue robb'd your Garden . Wife . You might Sir , Better haue term'd it saucenes , then theft ; You see we blush not , what we tooke in priuate , To weare in publicke view . Prud. Besides , these cannot Be mist out of so many ; In full fields , The gleanings are allow'd . Old Ger. These and the rest , Are Ladies , at your seruice . Winc. Now to horse , But one thing ere wee part , I must intreat ; In which my Wife will be ioynt suter with me , My Sister too . Old Ger. In what I pray . Winc. That hee Which brought vs hither , may but bring vs home ; Your much respected Sonne . Old Ger. How men are borne , To woe their owne disasters ? Wife But to see vs From whence he brought vs Sir , that 's all . Old Ger. This second motion makes it Palpable : To note a Womans cunning ; Make her husband Bawde to her owne laciuious appetite , And to Solicite his owne shame . Prud. Nay Sir , When all of vs ioyne in so small a suit , It were some iniurie to be deni'd . Old Ger. And worke her Sister too ; What will not woman To accomplish her owne ends : But this disease , I le seeke to Phisicke ere it grow too farre : I am most sorrie to be vrg'd sweet Friends , In what at this time I can no wayes grant ; Most , that these Ladies should be ought deni'd , To whom I owe all Seruice , but occasions Of weighty and important conscequence , Such as concerne the best of my Estate , Call him aside ; excuse vs both this once , Presume this businesse is no sooner ouer , But hee 's at his owne freedome . Winc. 'T were no manners In vs to vrge it further , wee will leaue you , With promise Sir , that he shall in my will , Not be the last remembred . Old . Ger. Wee are bound to you ; See them to Horse , and instantly returne , Wee haue Imployments for you . Y. Ger. Sir I shall , Dal. Remember your last promise , Old Ger. Not to doo 't , I should forget my selfe : If I finde him false To such a friend , be sure he forfeits me ; In which to be more punctually resolu'd , I haue a proiect how to fift his foule , How 't is enclin'd ; whether to yonder place , Enter Y. Geraldine . The cleare bright Pallace , or blacke Dungeon : See , They are onward on the way , and hee return'd . Y. Ger. I now attend your pleasure . Old Ger. You are growne perfect man , and now you float Like to a well built Vessell ; 'Tweene two Currents , Vertue and Vice ; Take this , you steere to harbour ; Take that , to eminent shipwracke . Y. Ger. Pray your meaning . Old Ger. What fathers cares are , you shall neuer know , Till you your selfe haue children ; Now my studdy , Is how to make you such , that you in them May haue a feeling of my loue to you . Y. Ger. Pray Sir expound your selfe , for I protest Of all the Languages I yet haue learn'd , This is to me most forraine . Old Ger. Then I shall ; I haue liued to see you in your prime of youth And height of Fortune , so you will but take Occasion by the forehead ; to be briefe , And cut off all superfluous circumstance , All the ambition that I ayme at now , Is but to see you married . Y. Ger. Married Sir . Old . Ger. And to that purpose , I haue found out one , Whose Youth and Beauty may not onely please A curious eye ; But her immediate meanes , Able to strengthen a state competent , Or raise a ruined Fortune . Y. Ger. Of all which , I haue beleeue me , neither need nor vse ; My competence best pleasing as it is ; And this my singularity of life , Most to my mind contenting . Od Ger. I suspect , but yet must prooue him further ; Say to my care I adde a Fathers charge , And couple with my counsell my command : To that how can you answere ? Y. Ger. That I hope : My duty and obedience still vnblam'd , Did neuer merit such austerity ; And from a father neuer yet displeas'd . Old Ger. Nay , then to come more neere vnto the point , Either you must resolue for present marriage , Or forfeit all your interest in my loue . Y. Ger. Vn-say that language , I intreat you Sir , And doe not so oppresse me ; Or if needs Your heauy imposition stand in force , Resolue me by your counsell ; With more safety May I infringe a sacred vow to heauen , Or to oppose me to your strict command ? Since one of these I must . Old Ger. Now Dalauill , I finde thy words too true . Y. Ger. For marrie , Sir , I neither may , nor can . Old Ger. Yet whore you may ; And that 's no brech of any vow to Heauen : Pollute the Nuptiall bed with Michall sinne ; Asperse the honour of a noble friend ; Forfeit thy reputation , here below . And th' interest that thy Soule might claime aboue , In you blest City : These you may , and can , With vntoucht conscience : Oh , that I should liue to see the hopes that I haue stor'd so long ; Thus in a moment ruin'd : And the staffe , On which my old decrepite age should leane ; Before my face thus broken : On which trusting , I thus abortiuely , before my time , Fall headlong to my Graue . Falls on the earth . Y. Ger. It yet stands strong ; Both to support you vnto future life , And fairer comfort . Old Ger. Neuer , neuer sonne : For till thou canst acquit thy selfe of scandall , And me of my suspition ; Heere , euen heere , Where I haue measur'd out my length of earth ; I shall expire my last . Y. Ger. Both these I can : Then rise Sir , I intreat you ; And that innocency , Which poyson'd by the breath of Calumnie , cast you thus low , Shall , these few staines wipt off , with better thoughts erect you . Old Ger. Well , Say on . Y. Ger. There 's but one fire from which this smoake may grow ; Namely , the vnmatcht yoake of youth ; And In which , If euer I occasion was , Of the smallest breach ; The greatest implacable mischiefe Adultery can threaten , fall on me ; Of you may I be disauow'd a sonne ; And vnto Heauen a seruant : For that Lady , As she is Beauties mirror , so I hold her For Chastities examples : From her tongue , Neuer came language , that ariued my eare , That euen censurious Cato , liu'd he now , Could mis-interpret ; Neuer from her lips , Came vnchaste kisse ; Or from her constant eye , Looke sauouring of the least immodesty : Further — Old Ger.

Enough ; One onely thing remaines , which on thy part perform'd , Assures firme credit to these thy protestations .

Y. Ger. Name it then . Old Ger. Take hence th' occasion of this common fame ; Which hath already spread it selfe so farre , To her dishonour and thy preiudice , From this day forward , To forbeare the house : This doe vpon my blessing . Y. Ger. As I hope it , I will not faile your charge . Old . Ger. I am satisfied . Exeunt . Enter at one doore an Vsurer and his Man , at the other , Old Lionell with his seruant : In the midst Reignald . Reig. To which hand shall I turne me ; Here 's my Master Hath bin to enquire of him that sould the house , Touching the murder ; Here 's an Vsuring-Rascall , Of whom we haue borrowed money to supply Our prodigall expences ; Broke our day , And owe him still the Principall and Vse : Were I to meet them single , I haue braine To oppose both , and to come off vnscarr'd ; But if they doe assault me , and at once . Not Hercules himselfe could stand that odds : Therefore I must encounter them by turnes ; And to my Master first : Oh Sir , well met . Old Lio. What Reignald ; I but now met with the man , Of whom I bought you house . Reig. What , did you Sir ? But did you speake of ought concerning that Which I last told you ? Old Lio. Yes , I told him all . Reig. Then am I cast : But I pray tell me Sir , Did he confesse the murder ? Old Lio. No such thing ; Most stiffely he denies it . Reig. Impudent wretch ; Then serue him with a warrant , let the Officer Bring him before a Iustice , you shall heare What I can say against him ; Sfoot deni 't : But I pray Sir excuse me , yonder 's one With whom I haue some businesse ; Stay you here , And but determine what 's best course to take , And note how I will follow 't . Old Lio. Be briefe then . Reg. Now , If I can aswell put off my Vse-man , This day , I shall be master of the field . Vsu. That should be Lionells man . Man The same , I know him . Vsu. After so many frivolous delaies , There 's now some hope . He that was wont to shun vs , And to absent himselfe , accoasts vs freely ; And with a pleasant countenance : Well met Reignald , What 's this money ready ? Reig. Neuer could you Haue come in better time . Vsu.

Where 's your master , yong Lionell , it something troubles me , That hee should breake his day .

Reig. A word in priuate , Vsu. Tush , Priuate me no priuates , in a word , Speake , are my moneys ready ? Reig. Not so loud . Vsu. I will be louder yet ; Giue me my moneys , Come , tender me my moneys . Reig.

We know you haue a throat , wide as your conscience ; You need not vse it now — Come , get you home .

Vsu. Home ? Reig. Yes , home I say , returne by three a Clocke , And I will see all cancell'd . Vsu. 'T is not past two , and I can stay till three , I le make that now my businesse , otherwayes , With these lowd clamors , I will haunt thee still ; Give me my Vse , giue me my Principall . Reig. This burre will still cleaue to me ; what , no meanes To shake him off ; I neere was caught till now . Come come , y' are troublesome . Vsu. Preuent that trouble , And without trifling , pay me downe my cash ; I will be fool'd no longer . Reig. So so so . Vsu. I haue beene still put off , from time to time , And day to day ; these are but cheating tricks , And this is the last minute i le forbeare Thee , or thy Master : Once againe , I say , Giue me my Vse , give me my Principall . Reig. Pox a this vse , that hath and one so many : And now will confound mee . Old Lio. Hast thou heard this ? Ser. Yes Sir , and to my griefe . Old Lio. Come hither Reignald . Reig. Heere Sir ; Nay , now I am gone . Old Lio. What vse is this ? What Principall hee talkes of ? in which language Hee names my Sonne ; And thus vpbraideth thee , What is 't you owe this man ? Reig. A trifle Sir , Pray stop his mouth ; And pay 't him . Old Lio. I pay , what ? Reig. If I say pay 't him ; Pay 't him . Old Lio. What 's the Summe ? Reig. A toy , the maine about fiue hundred pounds ; And the vse fiftie . Old Lio. Call you that a toy ? To what vse was it borrowed ? At my departure , I left my Sonne sufficient in his charge , With surplus , to defray a large expence , Without this neede of borrowing . Reig. 'T is confest , Yet stop his clamorous mouth ; And onely say , That you will pay 't to morrow . Old Lio. I passe my word . Reig. Sir , if I bid you doo 't ; Nay , no more words , But say you 'le pay 't tomorrow . Old Lio. Ieast indeed , but tell me how these moneys were bestowed ? Reig. Safe Sir , I warrant you . Old Lio. The Summe still safe , Why doe you not then tender it your selues ? Reig. Your eare sir ; This summe joyn'd to the rest , Your Sonne hath purchast Land and Houses . Old Lio. Land , do'st thou say ? Reig. A goodly House , and Gardens . Old Lio. Now ioy on him , That whil'st his Father Merchandis'd abroad , Had care to adde to his estate at home : But Reignald , wherefore Houses ? Reig. Now Lord Sir , How dull you are ; This house possest with spirits , And there no longer stay ; Would you haue had Him , vs , and all your other family , To liue , and lie i th' streets ; It had not Sir , Beene for your reputation . Old Lio. Blessing on him , That he is growne so thiftie . Vsu. 'T is strooke three , My money 's not yet tender'd . Reig. Pox vpon him , See him discharged , I pray Sir . Old Lio. Call vpon me To morrow Friend , as early as thou wilt ; I le see thy debt defraid . Vsu. It is enough , I haue a true mans word . Exit . Vsurer and man Old Lio. Now tell me Reignald , For thou hast made me proud of my Sonnes thrift ; Where , in what Countrey , doth this faire House stand . Reig. Neuer in all my time , so much to seeke ; I know not what to answere . Old Lio. Wherefore studdiest thou ? Vse men to purchase Lands at a deere rate , And know not where they lie ? Reig. 'T is not for that , I onely had forgot his name that sould them , 'T was let me see , see . Old Lio. Call thy selfe to minde . Reig. Non-plust or neuer now ; Where art thou braine ? O Sir , where was my memory ; 'T is this house That next adioynes to yours , Old Lio. My Neighbour Ricots . Reig. The same , the same Sir ; Wee had peniworths in 't ; And I can tell you , haue beene offer'd well Since , to forsake our bargaine . Old Lio. As I liue , I much commend your choice . Reig. Nay , 't is well seated , Rough-cast without , but brauely lined within ; You haue met with few such bargaines . Old Lio. Prethee knocke , And call the Master , or the seruant on 't ; To let me take free view on 't . Reig. Puzzle againe on Puzzle ; One word Sir , The House is full of Women , no man knowes , How on the instant , they may be imploy'd ; The Roomes may lie vnhansome ; and Maids stand Much on their cleanlinesse and huswiferie ; To take them vnprouided , were disgrace , 'T were fit they had some warning ; Now , doe you Fetch but a warrant , from the Iustice Sir ; You vnderstand mee . Old Lio. Yes , I doe . Reig. To attach him of suspected murder ; I le see 't scru'd ; Did he deny 't ? And in the intrim , I Will giue them notice , you are now ariu'd , And long to see your purchase . Old Lio. Councell'd well ; And meet some halfe houre hence . Reig. This plunge well past , All things fall euen , to Crowne my Braine at last . Exeunt . Enter Dalauill and a Gentleman . Gent. Where shall we dine to day ? Dal At th' Ordinarie . I see Sir , you are but a stranger heere ; This Barnet , is a place of great resort ; And commonly vpon the Market dayes , Heere all the Countrey Gentlemen Appoint , A friendly meeting ; Some about affaires Of Consequence and Profit ; Bargaine , Sale , And to conferre with Chap-men , some for pleasure , To match their Horses ; Wager in their Dogs , Or trie their Hawkes ; Some to no other end , But onely meet good Company , discourse , Dine , drinke , and spend their Money . Enter Old Geraldine and Yong Geraldine . Gent. That 's the Market , Wee haue to make this day . Dal. 'T is a Commoditie , that will be easily vented : What my worthy Friend , You are happily encounter'd ; Oh , y' are growne strange , To one that much respects you ; Troath the House Hath all this time seem'd naked without you ; The good Old Man doth neuer sit to meat , But next his giuing Thankes , hee speakes of you ; There 's scarce a bit , that he at Table tastes , That can digest without a Geraldine , You are in his mouth so frequent : Hee and Shee Both wondering , what distaste from one , or either , So suddenly , should alianate a Guest , To them , so deerely welcome . Old Ger. Master Dalauill , Thus much let me for him Apoligie ; Diuers designes haue throng'd vpon vs late , My weakenesse was not able to support Without his helpe ; He hath bin much abroad , At London , or else where ; Besides 't is Terme ; And Lawyers must be followed , seldome at home , And scarcely then at leasure . Dal. I am satisfied , And I would they were so too , but I hope Sir , In this restraint , you haue not vs'd my name . Old Ger. Not , as I liue . Dal. Y' are Noble — Who had thought To haue met with such good Company ; Y' are it seeme But new alighted ; Father and Sonne , ere part , I vow wee le drinke a cup of Sacke together : Phisicians say , It doth prepare the appetite And stomacke against dinner . Old Ger. Wee old men , Are apt to take these courtesies . Dal. What say you Friend ? Y. Ger. lie but enquire for one , at the next Inne , And instantly returne . Dal. 'T is enough . Exit . Enter Besse meeting Y. Geraldine . Y. Ger. Besse : How do'st thou Gitle ? Bess.

Faith we may doe how we list for you , you are growne so Great a stranger : We are more beholding

To Master Dalauill , Hee 's a constant Guest : And howsoere to some , that shall bee namelesse , His presence may be gracefull ; Yet to others — I could say somewhat . Y. Ger. Hee 's a noble fellow , And my choice friend . Bess. Come come , he is , what he is ; and that the end will prooue . Y. Ger. And how 's all at home ? Nay , wee le not part without a glasse of wine , And meet so seldome : Boy , Enter Drawer . Drawer Anon , anon Sir . Y. Ger. A Pint of Clarret , quickly . Exit Drawer . Nay , sit downe : The newes , the newes , I pray thee ; I am sure , I haue beene much enquir'd of Thy old Master , and thy young Mistris too . Bess.

Euer your name is in my Masters mouth , and sometimes too In hers , when she hath nothing else to thinke of :

Well well , I could say somewhat . Enter Drawer . Drawer Heere 's your wine Sir . Exit . Y. Ger.

Fill Boy : Here Besse , this glasse to both their healths ; Why do'st weepe my wench ?

Bess. Nay , nothing Sir . Y. Ger. Come , I must know . Bess. Introath I loue you Sir , And euer wisht you well ; You are a Gentleman , Whom alwayes I respected ; Know the passages And priuate whisperings , of the secret loue Betwixt you and my Mistris ; I dare sweare , On your part well intended : But — Y. Ger. But what ? Bess. You beare the name of Land-lord , but another Inioyes the rent ; You doate vpon the shadow , But another he beares away the substance . Y. Ger. Bee more plaine . Bess. You hope to inioy a vertuous widdow-hood ; But Dalauill , whom you esteeme you friend , Hee keepes the wife in common . Y. Ger. Y' are too blame , And Besse , you make me angry ; Hee 's my friend , And she my second selfe ; In all their meetings , I neuer saw so much as cast of eye Once entertain'd betwixt them . Bess. That 's their cunning . Y. Ger. For her ; I haue beene with her at all houres , Both late and early ; In her bed-chamber . And often singly vsher'd her abroad : Now , would she haue bin any mans aliue , Shee had bin mine ; You wrong a worthy Friend , And a chaste Mistris , y' are not a good Girle ; Drinke that speake better of her , I could chide you , But I 'le forbeare ; What you haue rashly spoke , Shall euer heere be buried . Bess. I am sorry my freenesse should offend you , But yet know , I am her Chamber-maid . Y. Ger. Play now the Market-maid . And prethee bout thy businesse . Bess. Well , I shall — that man should be so fool'd . Exit . Y. Ger. Shee a Prostitute ? Nay , and to him my troath plight , and my Friend ; As possible it is , that Heauen and Earth Should be in love together , meet and kisse , And so cut off all distance : What strange frensie Came in this wenches braine , so to surmise ? Were she so base ? his noblenesse is such , He would not entertaine it for my sake : Or he so bent ? His hot and lust burnt appetite Would be soone quencht , at the meere contemplation Of her most Pious and Religious life . The Girle was much too blame ; Perhaps her Mistris Hath stirr'd her anger , by some word or blow , Which she would thus reuenge ; Not apprehending At what a high price Honour 's to be rated ; Or else some one that enuies her rare vertue , Might hire her thus to brand it ; Or , who knowes But the yong wench may fixe a thought on me ; And to diuert me from her Mistris loue , May raise this false aspersion ? howsoeuer , Enter Clo , with a letter . My thoughts on these two columnes fixed are , She 's good as fresh , and purely chaste as faire . Clo.

Oh Sir , you are the Needle , and if the whole County of Middlesex had bin turn'd to a meere Bottle of Hay , I had bin inioyn'd to haue found you out , or neuer more return'd backe to my old Master : There 's a Letter Sir .

Y. Ger. I know the hand that superscrib'd it well ; Stay but till I peruse it , and from me Thou shalt returne an answere . Clo.

I shall Sir : This is Market-day , and heere acquaintance commonly meet ; and whom haue I encounter'd my gossip Pint-pot , and brim full ; nay , I meane to drinke with you before I part , and how doth all your worshipfull kindred ? your sister Quart , your pater-Pottle , ( who was euer a Gentlemans fellow ) and your old grandsier Gallon ; they cannot chuse but be all in health , since so many healthes haue beene drunke out of them : I could wish them all heere , and in no worse state then I see you are in at this present ; howsoeuer gossip , since I haue met you hand to hand , I 'le make bould to drinke to you — Nay , either you must pledge me , or get one to doo 't for you ; Doe you open your mouth towards me ? well , I know what you would say ; Heere Roger , to your Master and Mistris , and all our good friends at home ; gramercy gossip , if I should not pledge thee , I were worthy to be turn'd out to Grasse , and stand no more at Liuery : And now in requitall of this courtesie I 'le begin one health to you and all your society in the Oeller , to Peter Pipe , Harry Hogshead , Bartholomew Butt , and little master Randall Rundlet , to Timothy Taster , and all your other great and small friends .

Y. Ger. Hee writes mee heete , That at my discontinuance hee 's much grieu'd , Desiring me , as I haue euer render'd Or him or his , to giue him satisfaction Touching my discontent ; and that in person , By any priuate meeting . Clo. I Sir , 't is very true , The Letter Speakes no more Then he wisht me to tell you by word of mouth . Y. Ger. Thou art then of his councell ? Clo. His Priuy and please you . Y. Ger. Though neere so strict hath bin my fathers charge , A little I 'le dispense with 't , for his loue ; Commend me to thy Master , tell him from me , On Munday night ( then will my leasure serue ) I will by Heauens assistance visit him . Clo. On Munday Sir : That 's as I remember , iust the day before Tuesday . Y. Ger. But 't will be midnight first , at which late houre , Please him to let the Garden doore stand ope , At that I 'le enter ; But conditionally , That neither Wife , Friend , Seruant , no third soule Saue him , and thee to whom he trusts this message , Know of my comming in , or passing out : When , tell him , I will fully satisfie him Concerning my forct absence . Clo.

I am something obliuious ; Your message would bee the truelier deliuered if it were set downe in blacke and white .

Y. Ger. I 'le call for Pen and Incke , And instantly dispatch it . Exeunt .
Actus Quartus .
Scena Prima . Enter Reignald . Reig. Now impudence , but steele my face this once , Although I neere blush after ; Heere 's the house , Ho , whos 's within ? What , no man to desend Enter Mr. Ricot . These innocent gates from knocking ? Ric. Whos 's without there ? Reig. One Sir that euer wisht your worships health ; And those few houres I can find time to pray in , I still remember it . Ric. Gramercy Reignald , I loue all those that wish it : You are the men Leade merry liues , Feast , Reuell , and Carowse ; You feel no tedious houres ; Time playes with you , This is your golden age . Reig. It was , but now Sir , That Gold is turned to worse then Alcamy , It will not stand the test ; Those dayes are past , And now our nights come on . Ric. Tell me Reignald , is he return'd from Sea ? Reig. Yes , to our griefe already , but we feare Hereafter , it may prooue to all our cost's . Ric. Suspects thy Master any thing ? Reig. Not yet Sir ; Now my request is , that your worship being So neere a Neighbour , therefore most disturb'd , Would not be first to peach vs . Ric. Take my word ; With other Neighbours make what peace you can , I 'le not be your accuser . Reig. Worshipfull Sir ; I shall be still your Beads-man ; Now the businesse That I was sent about , the Old Man my Master Claiming some interest in acquaintance past , Desires ( might it be no way trouble some ) To take free view of all your House within . Ric. View of my House ? Why 't is not set to Sale , Nor bill vpon the doore ; Looke well vpon 't : View of my House ? Reig. Nay , be not angry Sir , Hee no way doth disable your estate ; As farre to buy , as you are loath to sell ; Some alterations in his owne hee 'd make . And hearing yours by worke-men much commended , Hee would make that his President . Ric. What fancies Should at this age possesse him ; Knowing the cost , That hee should dreame of Building . Reig. 'T is suppos'd , He hath late found a Wife out for his Sonne ; Now Sir , to haue him neere him , and that nearenesse Too , without trouble , though beneath one roofe , Yet parted in two Families ; Hee would build And make what 's pickt , a perfit quadrangle , Proportioned iust with yours , were you so pleased , To make it his example . Ric. Willingly ; I will but order some few things within , And then attend his comming . Exit . Reig. Most kind cox-combe , Great Alexander , and Agathocles , Caesar , and others , haue bin Fam'd , they say . And magnified for high Facinerous deeds ; Why claime not I , an equall place with them ? Or rather a presedent : These commanded Their Subiects , and their seruants ; I my Master , And euery way his equalls , where I please , Lead by the nose along ; They plac'd their burdens On Horses , Mules , and Camels ; I , old Men Of strength and wit , loade with my knauerie , Enter Old Lionell . Till both their backs and braines ake ; Yet poore animalls , They neere complaine of waight ; Oh are you come Sir ? Old Lio. I made what haste I could . Reig. And brought the warrant ? Old Lio. See heere , I hau 't . Reig. 'T is well done , but speake , runs it Both without Baile and Maineprize ? Old Lio. Nay , it carries both forme and power . Reig. Then I shall warrant him ; I haue bin yonder Sir , Old Lio. And what sayes hee ? Reig. Like one that offers you Free ingresse , view and regresse , at your pleasure ; As to his worthy Land-lord . Old Lio. Was that all ? Reig. Hee spake to me , that I would speake to you , To speake vnto your Sonne ; And then againe , To speake to him , that he would speake to you ; You would release his Bargaine . Old Lio. By no meanes , Men must aduise before they part with Land , Not after to repent it ; 'T is most iust , That such as hazzard , and disburse their Stockes , Should take all gaines and profits that accrew , Enter Mr. Ricot againe walking before the gate . As well in Sale of Houses , as in Barter , And Traficke of all other Merchandize . Reig. See in acknowledgement of a Tenants duty , Hee attends you at the gate ; Salute him Sir . Old Lio. My worthy Friend . Ric. Now as I liue , all my best thoughts and wishes Impart with yours , in your so safe returne ; Your seruant tels me , you haue great desire To take suruiew of this my house within . Old Lio. Bee 't Sir , no trouble to you . Ric. None , enter bouldly ; With as much freedome , as it were your owne . Old Lio. As it were mine ; Why Reignald , is it not ? Reig. Lord Sir , that in extremity of griefe , You 'le adde vnto vexation ; See you not How sad hee 's on the suddaine , Old Lio. I obserue it . Reig. To part with that which he hath kept so long ; Especially his Inheritance : Now as you loue Goodnesse , and Honesty , torment him not With the least word of Purchase . Old Lio. Councell'd well ; Thou teachest me Humanitie . Ric. Will you enter ? Or shall I call a seruant , to conduct you Through euery Roome and Chamber ? Old Lio. By no meanes ; I feare wee are too much troublesome of our selues . Reig. See what a goodly Gate ? Old Lio. It likes me well . Reig. What braue caru'd poasts ; Who knowes but heere , In time Sir , you may keepe your Shreualtie ; And I be one o th' Seriants . Old Lio. They are well Caru'd . Ric. And cost me a good price Sir , Take your pleasure , I haue businesse in the Towne . Exit . Reig. Poore man , I pittie him ; H' ath not the heart to stay and see you come , As 't were , to take Possession ; Looke that way Sir , What goodly faire Baye windowes ? Bayes . Old Lio. Wondrous stately . Reig. And what a Gallerie , How costly Seeled ; What painting round about ? Old Lio. Euery fresh obiect to good , adds betternesse . Reig. Tarrast aboue , and how below supported ; doe they please you ? Old Lio. All things beyond opinion ; Trust me Reignald , I 'le not forgoe the Bargaine , for more gaine Then halfe the price it cost me . Reig. If you would ? I should not suffer you ; Was not the Money due to the Vsurer , tooke vpon good ground , That prou'd well built vpon ? Wee were no fooles That knew not what wee did . Old Lio. It shall be satisfied . Reig. Please you to trust me with 't , I 'le see 't discharged . Old Lio. Hee hath my promise , and I 'le doo 't my selfe : Neuer could Sonne haue better pleas'd a Father , Then in this Purchase : Hie thee instantly Vnto my house i th' Countrey , giue him notice Of my arriue , and bid him with all speede Poaste hither . Reig. Ere I see the warrant seru'd ? Old Lio. It shall be thy first businesse ; For my Soule Is not at peace , till face to face , I approoue His Husbandrie , and much commend his Thrift ; Nay , without pause , be gone . Reig. But a short iourney ; For hee 's not farre , that I am sent to seeke : I haue got the start , the best part of the Race is runne already , what remaines , is small , And tyre now , I should but forfeit all . Old Lio. Make haste , I doe intreat thee . Exeunt . Enter the Clowne . Clo.

This is the Garden gate ; And heere am I set to stand Centinell , and to attend the comming of Young Master Geraldine : Master Dalauill 's gone to his Chamber ; My Mistresse to hers ; 'T is now about Mid-night ; A Banquet prepared , bottles of Wine in readinesse , all the whole Houshold at their rest ; And no creature by this , honestly stirring , sauing I and my Old Master ; Hee in a bye Chamber , prepared of purpose for their priuate Meeting ; And I heere to play the Watch Enter Young Geraldine . man , against my will ; Chauelah , Stand ; Who goes there ?

Y. Ger.

A Friend .

Clo.

The Word ?

Y. Ger.

Honest Roger .

Clo.

That 's the Word indeed ; You haue leaue to passe freely Without calling my Corporall .

Y. Ger.

How goe the affaires within ?

Clo.

According to promise , the businesse is composed , and the seruants disposed , my young Mistris reposed , my old Master according as you proposed , attends you if you bee exposed to giue him meeting ; Nothing in the way being interposed , to transpose you to the least danger : And this I dare be deposed , if you will not take my word , as I am honest Roger .

Y. Ger. Thy word shall be my warrant , but secur'd Most in thy Masters promise , on which building ; By this knowne way I enter . Clo. Nay , by your leaue , I that was late but a plaine Centinell , Will now be your Captaine conducter : Follow me . Exeunt . Table and Stooles set out ; Lights : a Banquet , Wine . Enter Master Wincott . Winc. I wonder whence this strangenesse should proceed , Or wherein I , or any of my house , Should be th' occasion of the least distaste ; Now , as I wish him well , it troubles me ; Enter Clow. and Y. Ger. But now the time growes on , from his owne mouth To be resolu'd ; And I hope satisfied : Sir , as I liue , of all my friends to me Most wishedly , you are welcome : Take that Chaire , I this : Nay , I intreat no complement ; Attend — Fill wine . Clo.

Till the mouthes of the bottles yawne directly vpon the floore , and the bottomes turne their rayles vp to the seeling ; Whil'st there 's any blood in their bellies , I 'le not leaue them .

Winc. I first salute you thus . Y. Ger. It could not come From one whom I more honour ; Sir , I thanke you . Clo. Nay , since my Master begun it , I 'le see 't goe round To all three . Winc. Now giue vs leaue . Clo.

Talke you by your selues , whilest I find something to say to this : I haue a tale no tell him shall make his stony heart relent .

Exit . Y. Ger. Now , first Sir your attention I intreat ; Next , your beliefe that what I speake is iust , Maugre all contradiction . Winc. Both are granted . Y. Ger. Then I proceed ; With due acknowledgement Of all your more then many curtesies : Y 'aue bin my second father , and your wife , My noble and chaste Mistris ; All your seruanes At my command ; And this your bounteous Table , As free and common as my Fathers house ; Neither 'gainst any , or the least of these , Can I commence iust quarrell . Winc. What might then be The cause of this constraint , in thus absenting Your selfe from such as loue you ? Y. Ger. Out of many , I will propose some few : The care I haue Of your ( as yet unblemisht ) renowne ; The vntoucht honour of your vertuous wife ; And ( which I value least , yet dearely too ) My owne faire reputation . Winc. How can these , in any way be questioned ? Y. Ger. Oh deare Sir , Bad tongues haue bin too busie with vs all ; Of which I neuer yet had time to thinke , But with sad thoughts and griefes vnspeakeable : It hath bin whisper'd by some wicked ones , But loudly thunder'd in my fathers eares , By some that haue malign'd our happinesse ; ( Heaunen , if it can brooke slander , pardon them ) That this my customary comming hither , Hath bin to base and sorded purposes : To wrong your bed ; Iniure her chastity ; And be mine owne vndoer : Which , how false ? Winc. As Heauen is true , I know 't . Y. Ger. Now this Calumny Ariuing first vnto my fathers eares , His easie nature was induc'd to thinke , That these things might perhaps be possible : I answer'd him , as I would doe to Heauen : And cleer'd my selfe in his suspitious thoughts , As truely , as the high all-knowing Iudge Shall of these staines acquit me ; which are meerely Aspersions and vntruthes : The good old man Possest with my sincerity , and yet carefull Of your renowne , her honour , and my fame ; To stop th e-worst that scandall could inflict ; And to preuent false rumours charges me , The cause remoou'd , to take away the effect ; Which onely could be , to forbeare your house ; And this vpon his blessing : You heare all . Winc. And I of all acquit you : This your absence , With which my loue most caucll'd ; Orators In your behalfe . Had such things past betwixt you , Not threats nor chidings could haue driuen you hence : It pleads in your behalfe , and speakes in hers ; And armes me with a double confidence , Both of your friendship , and her loyalty : I am happy in you both , and onely doubtfull Which of you two doth most impart my loue : You shall not hence to night . Y. Ger. Pray pardon Sir . Winc. You are in your lodging . Y. Ger. But my fathers charge . Winc. My coniuration shall dispence with that ; You may be vp as early as you please ; But hence to night you shall not . Y. Ger. You are powerfull . Winc. This night , of purpose , I haue parted beds , Faining my selfe not well , to giue you meeting ; Nor can be ought suspected by my Wife , I haue kept all so priuate : Now 't is late , I 'le steale vp to my rest , But howsoeuer , Let 's not be strange in our writing , that way dayly We may conferre without the least suspect , In spight of all such base calumnious tongues ; So , Now good-night sweet friend Exit . Y. Ger. May he that made you So iust and good , still guard you . Not to bed , So I perhaps might ouer-sleepe my selfe , And then my tardy wakeing might betray me To the more early houshold ; Thus as I am , I 'le rest me on this Pallar ; But in vaine , I finde no sleepe can fasten on mine eyes , There are in this disturbed braine of mine So many mutinous fancies : This , to me , Will be a tedious night ; How shall I spend it ? No Booke that I can spie ? no company ? A little let me recollect my selfe ; Oh , what more wisht company can I find , Suiting the apt occasion , time and place ; Then the sweet contemplation of her Beauty ; And the fruition too , time may produce , Of what is yet lent out ? 'T is a sweet Lady , And euery way accomplisht : Hath meere accident Brought me thus neere , and I not visit her ? Should it ariue here are , perhaps might breed Our lasting separation ; For 'twixt Louers , No quarrell 's to vnkindnesse ; Sweet opportunity Offers preuention , and inuites me too 't : The house is knowne to me , the staires and roomes ; The way unto her chamber frequently Trodden by me at mid-night , and all houres : How ioyfull to her would a meeting be , So strange and unexpected ; Shadowed too Beneath the vaile of night ; I am resolu'd To giue her visitation , in that place Where we haue past deepe vowes , her bed-chamber : My fiery loue this darkenesse makes seeme bright , And and this the path that leades to my delight . He goes in at one doore , and comes out at another . And this the gate vntoo 't ; I 'le listen first , Before too rudely I disturbe her rest : And gentle breathing ; Ha ? shee 's sure awake , For in the bed two whisper , and their voyces Appeare to me vnequall ; — One a womans — And hers ; — Th' other should be no maids tongue , It beares too big a tone ; And harke , they laugh ; ( Damnation ) But list further ; 'Tother sounds — Like — 'T is the same false periur'd traitor , Dalauill , To friend and goodnesse : Vnchast impious woman , False to all faith , and true coniugall loue ; There 's met , a Serpent and a Crockadell ; A Synon and a Circe : Oh , to what May I Compare you ? — But my Sword , I 'le act a nobel execution , On two unmatcht for sorded vilianie : — I left it in my Chamber , And thankes Heauen That I did to ; It hath preuented me From playing a base Hang-man : Since securelye Whilst I , although for many , yet lesse faults , Striue hourely to repent me ; I once loued her , And was to him intir'd ; Although I pardon , Heauen will find time to punish , I 'le not stretch My iust reuenge so farre , as once by blabbing , To make your brazen Impudence to blush ; Damne on , reuenge too great ; And to suppresse Your Soules yet lower , without hope to rise , Heape Ossa vpon Pelion : You haue made mee To hate my very Countrey , because heere bred : Neere two such monsters ; First I 'le leaue this House , And then my Fathers ; Next I 'le take my leaue , Both of this Clime and Nation , Trauell till Age snow vpon this Head : My passions now , Are vnexpressable , I 'le end them thus : Ill man , bad Woman , your vnheard of trecherie , This uniust censure , on a Iust man giue , To seeke out place , where no two such can liue . Exit . Enter Dalauill in a Night-gowne gowne : Wift in a Nighttyre , as comming from Bed . Dal. A happy Morning now betide you Lady , To equall the content of a sweet Night . Wife . It hath bin to my wish , and your desire : And this your comming by pretended loue Vnto my Sister Pru. cuts of suspition Of any such conuerse 'twixt you and mee . Dal. It hath bin wisely carried . Wife . One thing troubles me . Dal. What 's that my Dearest ? Wife . Why your Friend Geraldine , Should on the sudden thus absent himselfe ? Has he had thinke you no intelligence . Of these our priuate meetings . Dal. No , on my Soule , For therein hath my braine exceeded yours ; I studdying to engrosse you to my selfe , Of his continued absence haue bin cause ; Yet hee of your affection no way iealous , Or of my Friendship — How the plot was cast , You at our better leasure shall pertake ; The aire growes cold , haue care vnto your health , Suspitious eyes are ore us , that yet sleepe , But with the dawne , will open ; Sweet retire you To your warme Sheets ; I now to fill my owne , That haue this Night bin empty . Wife . You aduise well ; Oh might this Kisse dwell euer on thy Lips , In my remembrance . Dal. Doubt it not I pray , Whilest Day frights Night , and Night pursues the day : Good morrow . Exeunt . Enter Reignald , Y. Lionell , Blanda , Scapha , Rioter . and two Gallants , Reig. with a Key in his hand . Reig. Now is the Goale deliuerie ; Through this backe gate Shift for your selues , I heere vnprison all . Y. Lio. But tell me , how shall we dispose our selues ? Wee are as farre to seeke now , as the first ; What is it to repreeue vs for few houres , And now to suffer , better had it bin At first , to haue stood the triall , so by this , Wee might haue past our Pennance . Bla. Sweet Reignald . Y. Lio. Honest rogue . Rio. If now thou failest vs , then we are lost for euer , Reig. This same sweete Reignald , and this honest rogue , Hath bin the Burgesse , vnder whose protection You all this while haue liu'd , free from Arrests , But now , the Sessions of my power 's broake up , And you expos'd to Actions , Warrants , Writs ; For all the hellish rabble are broke loose , Of Seriants , Sheriffes , and Baliffes , Omn . Guard vs Heauen , Reig. I tell you as it is ; Nay , I my selfe That haue bin your Protector , now as subiect To euery varlets Pestle , for you know How I am engag'd with you — At whose suit sir . Omn. Why didst thou Start . All Start . Reig. I was afraid some Catchpole stood behind me , To clap me on the Shoulder . Rio. No such thing ; Yet I protest Thy feare did fright vs all . Reig. I knew your guilty conciences . Y. Lio. No Braine left ? Ela. No crotchet for my sake ? Reig. One kisse then Sweete , Thus shall my crotchets , and your kisses meete . Y. Lio. Nay , tell vs what to trust too . Reig. Lodge your selues In the next Tauerne , ther 's the Cash that 's left , Goe , health it freely for my good successe ; Nay , Drowne it all , let not a Teaster scape To be consum'd in rot-gut ; I haue begun , And I will stand the period . Y. Lio. Brauely spoke . Reig. Or perish in the conflict . Rio. Worthy Reignald . Reig. Well , if he now come off well , Fox you all ; Goe , call for Wine ; For singlie of my selfe I will oppose all danger ; But I charge you , When I shall faint or find my selfe distrest ; If I like braue Orlands , winde my Horne , Make haste vnto my rescew . Y. Lio. And die in 't . Reig. Well hast thou spoke my noble Charlemaine , With these thy Peeres about thee . Y. Lio. May good Speede Attend thee still . Reig. The end still crownes the deede . Exeunt . Enter Old Lionell , and the first Owner of the House . Own . Sir sir , your threats nor warrants , can fright me ; My honestie and innocency 's knowne Alwayes to haue bin vnblemisht ; Would you could As well approue your owne Integrity , As I shall doubtlesse acquit my selfe Of this surmised murder . Old Lio. Rather Surrender The price I paid , and take into thy hands This haunted mansion , or I 'le prosecute My wrongs , euen to the vtmost of the Law , Which is no lesse then death . Own . I 'le answere all Old Lionell , both to thy shame and scorne ; This for thy Menaces . Enter the Clowne . Clo.

This is the House , but where 's the noyse that was wont to be in 't ? I am sent hither , to deliuer a Noate , to two young Gentlemen that heere keepe Reuell-rout ; I remember it , since the last Massacre of Meat that was made in 't ; But it seemes , That the great Storme that was raised then , is chast now ; I haue other Noates to deliuer , one to Master Rycott — and — I shall thinke on them all in order ; My Old Master makes a great Feast , for the parting of young Master Geraldine , who is presently vpon his departure for Trauell , and the better to grace it , hath inuited many of his Neighbours and Friends ; Where will be Old Master Geraldine — his Sonne , and I cannot tell how many ; But this is strange , the Gates shut up at this time a day , belike they are all Drunke and laid to sleepe , if they be , I 'le wake them , with a Murraine .

Knockes . Old Lio. What desperate fellowe 's this , that ignorant Of his owne danger , thunders at these Gates ? Clo. Ho , Reignald , Riotous Reignald , Reuelling Reignald . Old . Lio. What madnesse doth possesse thee , honest Friend , To touch that Hammers handle ? Clo. What madnesse doth possesse thee , honest Friend , To aske me such a question ? Old Lio. Nay , stirre not you ? Own . Not I ; The game begins . Old Lio. How doest thou , art thou well ? Clo. Yes very well , I thanke you , how doe you Sir ? Old Lio. No alteration ; What change about thee ? Clo. Not so much change about me at this time , As to change you a Shilling into two Teasters . Old Lio. Yet I aduise thee Fellow , for thy good , Stand further from the Gate . Clo.

And I aduise thee Friend , for thine owne good , stand not betwixt mee and the Gate , but giue me leaue to deliuer my errant ; Hoe , Reignald , you mad Rascall .

Old Lio. In vaine thou thunder'st at these silent Doores , Where no man dwels to answere , sauing Ghosts , Furies , and Sprights . Clo.

Ghosts ; Indeed there has bin much walking , in and about the House after Mid-night .

Old Lio.

Strange noyse oft heard .

Clo.

Yes , terrible noise , that none of the neighbours could take any rest for it , I haue heard it my selfe .

Old Lio. You heare this ; Heere 's more witnesse . Own . Very well Sir . Old Lio. Which you shall dearely answere — whooping . Clo. And hollowing . Old . Lio. And shouting . Clo. And crying out , till the whole house rung againe . Old Lio. Which thou hast heard ? Clo. Oftner then I haue toes and singers . Old Lio. Thou wilt be depos'd of this ? Clo. I 'le be sworne too 't , and that 's as good . Old Lio. Very good still ; Yet you are innocent : Shall I intreat thee friend , to auouch as much Heere by , to the next Iustice . Clo. I 'le take my souldiers oath on 't . Old Lio. A souldiers oath , What 's that ? Clo.

My corporall oath ; And you know Sir , a Corporall is an office belonging to a souldier .

Old Lio. Yet you are cleere ? Murder will come to light . Enter Robin the old seruing-man . Own . So will your gullery too . Rob.

They say my old Master 's come home ; I 'le see if hee will turne me out of doores , as the young man has done : I haue laid rods in pisse for some-body , scape Reignald as hee can , and with more freedome then I dust late , I bouldly now dare knocke .

Robin knocks . Old Lio. More mad-men yet ; I thinke since my last voyage , Halfe of the world 's turn'd franticke : What do'st meane , Or long'st thou to be blasted ? Rob. Oh Sir , you are welcome home ; 'T was time to come Ere all was gone to hauocke . Old Lio.

My old seruant ? before I shall demand of further business . Resolue me why thou thunder'st at these doores ,

Where thou know'st none inhabits ? Rob. Are they gone Sir ? 'T was well yet they haue left the house behind ; For all the furniture , to a bare bench , I am sure is spent and wasted . Old Lio. Where 's my sonne , That Reignald poasting for him with such speed , Brings him not from the Countrey ? Rob. Countrey Sir ? 'T is a thing they know not ; Heere they Feast , Dice , Drinke , and Drab ; The company they keepe , Cheaters and Roaring-Ladds , and these attended By Bawdes and Queanes : Your sonne hath got a Strumpet , On whom he spends all that your sparing left , And heere they keepe court ; To whose damn'd abuses , Reignald giues all encouragement . Old Lio. But stay stay ; No liuing soule hath for these sixe moneths space Heere enter'd , but the house stood desolate . Rob. Last weeke I am sure , so late , and th' other day , Such Reuells were here kept . Old Lio. And by my sonne ? Rob. Yes , and his seruant Reignald . Old Lio. And this house at all not haunted ? Rob. Saue Sir with such Sprights . Enter Master Ricott . Own . This Murder will come out . Old Lio. But see , in happy time heere comes my Neighbour of whom he bought this mansion ; He I am sure More amply can resolue me : I pray Sir , What summes of moneys haue you late receiued Of my young sonne ? Ric. Of him ? None I assure you . Old Lio. What of my seruant Reignald ? Ric. But deuise What to call lesse then nothing , and that summe I will confesse receiu'd . Old Lio. Pray Sir , be serious ; I doe confesse my selfe indebted to you , A hundred pound . Ric.

You may doe well to pay 't then , for heere 's witnesse Sufficient of your words .

Old Lio.

I speake no more then what I purpose ; lust so much I owe you , And ere I sleepe will tender .

Ric. I shall be as ready to receiue it , and as willing , As you can bee to pay 't . Old Lio. But prouided , You will confesse seuen hundred pounds receiued Before hand of my sonne ? Ric. But by your fauour ; Why should I yeeld seuen hundred receiu'd Of them I neuer dealt with ? Why ? For what ? What reason ? What condition ? Where or when Should such a summe be paid mee ? Old Lio. Why ? For this bargaine : And for what ? This house , Reason ? Because you sold it : The conditions ? Such As were agreed betweene you : Where and When ? That onely hath escapt me . Ric. Madnesse all . Old Lio. Was I not brought to take free view thereof , As of mine owne possession ? Ric. I confesse ; Your seruant told me you had found out a wife Fit for your sonne , and that you meant to build ; Desir'd to take a friendly view of mine , To make it your example : But for selling , I tell you Sir , my wants be not so great , To change my house to Coyne . Old Lio. Spare Sir your anger , And turne it into pity ; Neighbours and friends , I am quite lost , was neuer man so fool'd , And by a wicked seruant ; Shame and blushing Will not permit to tell the manner how , Lest I be made ridiculous to all : My feares are to inherit what 's yet left ; He hath made my sonne away . Rob. That 's my feare too . Old Lio. Friends , as you would commiserate a man Depriu'd at once , both of his wealth and sonne ; And in his age , by one I euer tender'd More like a sonne then seruant : By imagining My case were yours , haue feeling of my griefes And helpe to apprehend him ; Furnish me with Cords and Fetters , I will lay him safe in Prison within Prison . Ric. Wee le assist you . Rob. And I . Clo. And all ; But not to doe the least hurt to my old friend Reginald . Old Lio. His Leggs will be as nimble as his Braine , And 't will be difficult to seaze the slaue , Enter Reignald with a Horne in his pocket : they withdraw behind the Arras . Yet your endeauours , pray peace , heere hoe comes . Reig. My heart mis-giues , for 't is not possible But that in all these windings and indents I shall be found at last : I 'le take that course That men both troubled and affrighted doe , Heape doubt on doubt , and as combustions rise , Try if from many I can make my peace , And worke mine owne atonement . Old Lio. Stand you close , Be not yet seene , but at your best aduantage Hand him , and bind him fast : Whil'st I dissemble As if I yet knew nothing . Reig. I suspect And find there 's trouble in my Masters lookes ; Therefore I must not trust my selfe too farre Within his fingers . Old Lio. Reignald ? Reig. Worshipfull Sir . Old Lio. What sayes my sonne i th' Countrey ? Reig. That tomorrow , Early i th' morning , hee le attend your pleasure , And doe as all such dutious children ought ; Demand your blessing Sir . Old Lio. Well , 't is well . Reig. I doe not like his countenance . Old Lio. But Reignald ? I suspect the honesty And the good meaning of my neighbour heere , Old master Ricott ; Meeting him but now , And hauing some discourse about the house , He makes all strange , and tells me in plaine termes , Hee knowes of no such matter . Reig. Tell mee that Sir ? Old Lio. I tell thee as it is : Nor that such moneys , tooke vp at vse , were euer tender'd him On any such conditions . Reig. I cannot blame your worship to bee pleasant , Knowing at what an vnder-rate we bought it , but you euer Were a most merry Gentleman . Y. Lio. ( Impudent slave ) But Reignald , hee not onely doth demie it , But offers to depose Himself and Seruants , No such thing euer was . Reig. Now Heauen , to see to what this world 's growne too . I will make him — Old Lio. Nay more , this man will not confesse the Murder . Reig. Which both shall deerely answere ; You have warrant For him already ; But for the other Sir , If hee denie it , he had better — Old Lio. Appeare Gentlemen , Softly . 'T is a fit time to take him . Reig. I discouer the Ambush that 's laid for me . Old Lio. Come neerer Reignald . Reig. First sir resolue me one thing , amongst other Merchandize Bought in your absence by your Sonne and me , Wee ingrost a great comoditie of Combes , And how many sorts thinke you ? Old Lio. You might buy Some of the bones of Fishes , some of Beasts , Box-combes , and Iuery-combes . Reig. But besides these , we haue for Horses Sir , Mayne-combes , and Curry-combes ; Now Sir for men , Wee haue Head-combes , Beard - combes , I and Cox-combes too ; Take view of them at your pleasure , whil'it for my part , I thus bestow my selfe . They all appeare with Cords and Shackels , Whilest hee goes vp . Clo. Well said Reignald , nobly put off Reignald , Looke to thy selfe Reignald . Old Lio. Why dost thou climbe thus ? Reig. Onely to practice The nimblenesse of my Armes and Legges , Ere they prooue your Cords and Fetters . Old Lio. Why to that place ? Reig.

Why ? Sir 't is your owne House ; It hath bin my Harbour long , and now it must bee my Sanctuary ; Dispute now , and I 'le answere .

Own . Villaine , what devilish meaning had'st thou in 't , To challenge me of Murder ? Reig.

Oh sir , the man you kil'd is aliue at this present to iustifie it : I am , quoth he , a Trans-marine by birth —

Ric.

Why , challenge me receipt of Moneys , and to giue abroad , That I had sold my House ?

Reig. Why ? because sir , Could I haue purchast Houses at that rate , I had meant to haue bought all London . Clo. Yes , and Middlesex too , and I would haue bin thy halfe Reignald . Old Lio. Yours are great , My wrongs insufferable ; As first , to fright mee From mine owne dwelling , till they had consumed The whole remainder of the little left ; Besides , out of my late stocke got at Sea , Discharge the clamorous Vsurer ; Make me accuse This man of Murder ; Be at charge of warrants ; And challenging this my worthy Neighbour of Forswearing Summes hee neuer yet receiued ; Foole mee , to thinke my Sonne that had spent all , Had by his thrift bought Land ; I and him too , To open all the secrets of his House To mee , a Stranger , On thou insolent villaine , What to all these canst answere ? Reig. Guiltie , guiltie . Old Lio. But to my Sonnes death , what thou slaue ? Reig. Not Guiltie . Old Lio. Produce him then ; I th' meane time , and — Honest Friends , get Ladders . Reig. Yes , and come downe in your owne Ropes . Own . I 'le fetch a Peece and shoote him . Reig.

So the warrant in my Masters pocket , will serue for my Murder ; And euer after shall my Ghost haunt this House .

Clo. And I will say like Reignald , This Ghost and I am Friends . Old Lio. Bring faggots , I 'le set fire vpon the House , Rather then this indure . Reig. To burne Houses is Fellony , and I 'le not out Till be fir'd out ; But since I am Besieged thus , I 'le summon supplies vnto my Rescue . Hee windes a Horne . Enter Young Lionell , Rioter , two Gallants Blanda , &c. Y. Lie . Before you chide , first heere mee , next your Blessing , That on my knees I begge ; I have but done , Like mis-spent youth , which after wit deere bought , Turnes his Eyes inward , sorrie and ashamed ; These things in which I haue offended most , Had I not prooued , I should haue thought them still Essentiall things , delights perdureable ; Which now I find meere Shaddowes , Toyes and Dreames , Now hated more then earst I doated on ; Best Natures , are soonest wrought on ; Such was mine ; As I the offences , So the offendors throw Heere at your feete , to punish as you please ; You haue but paid so much as I have wasted , To purchase to your selfe a thrifty Sonne ; Which I from hencefoorth , Vow . Old Lio. See what Fathers are , That can three yeeres offences , fowle ones too , Thus in a Minute pardon ; And thy faults Vpon my selfe chastise , in these my Teares ; Ere this Submission , I had cast thee off ; Rise in my new Adoption : But for these — Clo.

The one you have nothing to doe withall , here 's his Ticket for his discharge ; Another for you Sir , to Summon you to my Masters Feast , For you , and you , where I charge you all to appeare , vpon his displeasure , and your owne apperils .

Y. Lio. This is my Friend , the other one I loued , Onely because they haue bin deere to him That now will striue to be more deere to you ; Vouchsafe their pardon . Old Lio. All deere , to me indeed , for I haue payd for 't soundly , Yet for the sake , I am atton'd with all ; Onely that wanton . Her , and her Company , abandon quite ; So doing , wee are friends . Y. Lie . A iust Condition , and willingly subscrib'd to . Old Lio. But for that Villaine ; I am now deuising What shame , what punishment remarkable , To inflict on him . Reig. Why Master ? Haue I laboured ; Plotted , Contriued , and all this while for you , And will you leaue me to the Whip and Stockes ; Not mediate my peace . Old Lio. Sirra , come downe . Reig. Not till my Pardon 's sealed , I 'le rather stand heere Like a Statue , in the Fore-front of your house For euer ; Like the picture of Dame Fortune Before the Fortune Play-house . Y. Lio. If I haue heere But any Friend amongst you , ioyne with mee In this petition . Clo. Good Sir , for my sake , I resolued you truely Concerning Whooping , the Noyse , the Walking ; and the Sprights , And for a need , can shew you a Ticket for him too . Own . I impute my wrongs rather to knauish Cunning , Then least pretended Malice . Ric. What he did , Was but for his Young Master , I allow it Rather as sports of Wit , then iniuries ; No other pray esteeme them . Old Lio. Euen as freely , As you forget my quarells made with you ; Rais'd from the Errours first begot by him ; I heere remit all free ; I now am Calme , But had I seaz'd vpon him in my Spleene — Reig. I knew that , therefore this was my Inuention , For Pollicie 's the art still of Preuention . Clo.

Come downe then Reignald , first on your hands and feete , and then on your knees to your Master ; Now gentlemen , what doe you say to your inuiting to my Masters Feast .

Ric. Wee will attend him . Old Lio. Nor doe I loue to breake good company ; For Master Wincott is my worthy Friend , Enter Reginald . And old acquaintance ; Oh thou crafty Wag-string , And could'st thou thus delude me ? But we are Friends ; Nor Gentlemen , let not what 's heere to past , In your least thoughts disable my Estate ; This my last Voyage hath made all things good , With surplus too ; Be that your comfort Sonne : Well Reignald — But no more . Reig. I was the Fox , But I from hencefoorth , will no more the Cox-Combe , put vpon your pate . Old Lio. Let 's walke Gentlemen Exeunt Omnes .
Actus Quintus .
Scena Prima . Enter Old Geraldine , and Young Geraldine . Old Ger. Sonne , let me tell you , you are ill aduised ; And doubly to be blam'd , by vndertaking Vnnecessary trauell ; Grounding no reason For such a rash and giddy enterprise : What profit aime you at , you haue not reapt ; What Nouelty affords the Christian world , Of which your view hath not participated In a full measure ; Can you either better Your language or experience ? Your selfe-will Hath onely purpose to depriue a father Of a loued sonne , and many noble friends , Of your much wisht acquaintance . Y. Ger. Oh , deare Sir , Doe not , I doe intreat you , repent you Of your free grant ; Which with such care and studdy . I haue so long , so often laboured for . Old Ger. Say that may be dispens'd with , shew me reason Why you desire to steale out of your Countrey , Like some Malefactor that had forfeited His life and freedome ; Heere 's a worthy Gentleman Hath for your sake inuited many guests , To his great charge , onely to take of you A parting leaue ; You send him word you cannot , After , you may not come : Had not my vrgence , Almost compulsion , driuen you to his house , Th' vnkindnesse might haue forfeited your loue , And raced you from his will ; In which he hath giuen you , A faire and large estate ; Yet you of all this strangenesse , Show no sufficient ground . Y. Ger. Then vnderstand ; The ground thereof tooke his first birth from you ; 'T was you first charg'd me to forbeare the house , And that vpon your blessing : Let it not then Offend you Sir , if I so great a charge Haue striu'd to keepe so strictly . Old Ger. Mee perhaps , You may appease , and with small difficulty . Because a Father ; But how satisfie Their deare , and on your part , vnmerited loue ? But this your last obedience may salue all : Wee now grow neere the house . Y. Ger. Whose doores , to mee , Appeare as horried as the gates of Hell : Where shall I borrow patience , or from whence ? Enter Wincott , Wife , Ricott , the two Lionells , Owner , Dalauill , Prudentilla , Reignald , Rioter . To giue a meeting to this viperous brood , Of Friend and Mistris . Winc. Y 'aue entertain'd me with a strange discourse Of your mans knauish wit , but I reioyce , That in your safe returne , all ends so well : Most welcome you , and you , and indeed all ; To whom I am bound , that at so short a warning , Thus friendly , you will deigne to visit me . Old Lio. It seemes my absence hath begot some sport , Thanke my kind seruant heere . Reig. Not so much worth Sir . Old Lio. But though their riots tript at my estate , They haue not quite ore-throwne it . Winc.

But see Gentlemen , these whom we most expected , come at length ; This I proclaime the master of the Feast ,

In which to expresse the bounty of my loue , I 'le shew my selfe no niggard . Y. Ger. Your choise fauours , I still taste in abundance . Wife Methinks it would not mis-become me Sir , To chide your absence ; That haue made your selfe , To vs , so long a stranger . Hee turnes away sad , as not being minded . Y. Ger. Pardon mee Sir , That haue not yet , since your returne from Sea , Voted the least fit opportunity , To entertaine you with a kind salute . Old Lio. Most kindly Sir I thanke you . Dal. Methinks friend , You should expect greene rushes to be strow'd , After such discontinuance . Y. Ger. Mistris Pru , I haue not seene you long , but greet you thus , May you be Lady of a better husband Then I expect a wife . Winc. I like that greeting : Nay , enter Gentlemen ; Dinner perhaps Is not yet ready , but the time we stay , Wee le find some fresh discourse to spend away . Exeunt . Manet Dalauill . Dal. Not speake to me ? nor once vouchsafe an answere , But sleight me with a poore and base neglect ? No , nor so much as cast an eye on her , Or least regard , though in a seeming shew Shee courted a reply ? 'twixt him and her , Nay him and mee , this was not wont to be ; If she haue braine to apprehend as much Enter Young Geraldire and Wife . As I haue done , shee le quickly find it out : Now as I liue , as our affections meete , So our conceits , and shee hath singled him To some such purpose : I 'le retire my selfe . Not interrupt their conference . Exit . Wife . You are sad Sir . Y. Ger. I know no cause . Wife Then can I shew you some ; Who could be otherwayes , to leaue a Father So carefull , and each way so prouident ? To leaue so many , and such worthy Friends ? To abandon your owne countrey ? These are some , Nor doe I thinke you can be much the merrier For my sake ? Y. Ger. Now your tongue speakes Oracles ; For all the rest are nothing , 't is for you , Onely for you I cannot . Wife So I thought ; Why then haue you bin all this while so strange ? Why will you trauell ? suing a diuorce Betwixt vs , of a loue inseperable ; For heere shall I be left as desolate Vnto a frozen , almost widdowed bed ; Warm'd onely in that future , stor'd in you ; For who can in your absence comfort me ? Y. Ger. Shall my oppressed sufferance yet breake foorth Into impatience , or endure her more ? Wife But since by no perswasion , no intreats , Your setled obstinacy can be swal'd , Though you seeme desperate of your owne deare life , Haue care of mine , for it exists in you . Oh Sir , should you miscarry I were lost , Lost and forsaken ; Then by our past vowes , And by this hand once giuen mee , by these reares , Which are but springs begetting greater floods , I doe beseech thou , my deere Geraldine , Looke to thy safety , and preserue thy health ; Haue care into what company you fall ; Trauell not late , and crosse no dangerous Seas ; For till Heauens blesse me in thy safe returne , How will this poore heart suffer ? Y. Ger. I had thought Long since the Syrens had bin all destroy'd ; But one of them I find suruiues in her ; Shee almost makes me question what I know , An Hereticke vnto my owne beliefe : Oh thou mankinds seducer . Wife What ? no answere ? Y. Ger. Yes , thou hast spoke to me in Showres , I will reply in Thunder ; Thou Adultresse , That hast more poyson in thee then the Serpent , Who was the first that did corrupt thy sex , The Deuill . Wife To whom speakes the man ? Y. Ger. To thee , falsest of all that euer man term'd faire ; Hath Impudence so stool'd thy smooth soft skin , It cannot blush ? Or sinne so obdur'd thy heart , It doth not quake and tremble ? Search thy conscience , There thou shalt find a thousand clamorous tongues To speake as loud as mine doth . Wife . Saue from yours , I heare no noise at all . Y. Ger. I 'le play the Doctor To open thy deafe eares ; Munday the Ninth Of the last Moneth ; Canst thou remember that ? That Night more blacke in thy abhorred sinne , Then in the gloomie darknesse ; That the time . Wife . Munday ? Y. Ger. Wouldest thou the place know ? Thy polluted Chamber , So often , witnesse of my sin-lesse vowes ; Wouldest thou the Person ? One not worthy Name , Yet to torment thy guilty Soule the more , I 'le tell him thee , That Monster Dalauill ; Wouldest thou your Bawd know ? Mid-night , that the houre ; The very words thou spake ? Now what would Geraldine Say , if he saw vs heere ? To which was answered , Tush hee 's a Cox-combe , fit to be so fool'd : No blush ? What , no faint Feauer on thee yet ? How hath thy blacke sins chang'd thee ? Thou Medusa , Those Haires that late appeared like golden Wyers , Now crawle with Snakes and Adders ; Thou art vgly . Wife . And yet my glasse , till now , neere told me so ; Who gaue you this intelligence ? Y. Ger. Onely hee , That pittying such an Innocencie as mine , Should by two such delinquents bee betray'd , Hee brought me to that place by mirracle ; And made mean eare witnesse of all this . Wife . I am vndone . Y. Ger. But thinke what thou hast lost To forfeit mee ; I not withstanding these , ( So fixt was my loue and vulnerable ) I kept this from thy Husband , nay all eares , With thy transgressions smothering mine owne wrongs , In hope of thy Repentance . Wife . Which begins thus low vpon my knees . Y. Ger. Tush , bow to Heauen , Which thou hast most offended ; alas , Saue in such ( Scarce vnheard of ) Treacherie , Most sinfull like thy selfe ; Wherein , Oh wherein , hath my vnspotted and vnbounded Loue deseru'd the least of these ? Sworne to be made a stale For terme of life ; And all this for my goodnesse ; Die , and die soone , acquit me of my Oath , But prethee die repentant ; Farewell euer , 'T is thou , and onely thou hast Banisht mee , Both from my Frinds and Countrey . Wife . Oh , I am lost . Sinkes downe . Enter Dalauill meeting Young Geraldine going out . Dal. Why how now , what 's the businesse ? Y. Ger.

Goe take her Vp , whom thou hast oft throwne Downe , Villaine .

Dal. That was no language from a Friend , It had too harsh an accent ; But how 's this ? My Mistresse thus low cast vpon the earth Grauelling and breathlesse , Mistresse , Lady , Sweet — Wife . Oh tell me if thy name be Geraldine , Thy very lookes will kill mee ? Dal. View me well , I am no such man ; See , I am Dalauill . Wife . Th' art then a Deuill , that presents before mee My horrid sins ; perswades me to dispaire ; When hee like a good Angel sent from Heauen , Besought me of repentance ; Swell sicke Heart , Euen till thou burst the ribs that bound thee in ; So , there 's one string crackt , flow , and flow high , Euen till thy blood distill out of mine eyes , To witnesse my great sorrow . Dal. Faint againe , Some helpe within there , no attendant neere ? Thus to expire , in this I am more wretched , Then all the sweet fruition of her loue Before could make me happy . Enter Wincott Old Geraldine , Young Geraldine , the two Lionells , Ricott , Owner , Prudentilla , Reignald , Clowne . Winc. What was hee clamor'd so lowd , To mingle with our mirth this terrour And affright ? Dal. See Sir , your Wife in these my armes expiring . Winc. How ? Prud. My sister ? Winc. Support her , and by all meanes possible Prouide for her deere safety . Old Ger. See , shee recouers . Winc. Woman , looke vp . Wife . Oh Sir , your pardon ; Conuey me to my Chamber , I am sicke , Sicke euen to death , away thou Sycophant , Out of my sight , I haue besides thy selfe , Too many sinnes about mee . Clo. My sweet Mistresse . Dal. The storme 's comming , I must prouide for harbour . Exit . Old Lio. What strange and sudden alteration 's this , How quickly is this cleere day ouercast , But such and so vncertaine are all things , That dwell beneath the Moone . Y. Lio. A Womans qualme , Frailties that are inherent to her sex , Soone sicke , and soone recouer'd . Winc. If shee misfare , I am a man more wretched in her losse , Then had I forfeited life and estate ; Shee was so good a creature . Old Ger. I the like Suffer'd , when I my Wife brought vnto her graue ; So you , when you were first a widower , Come arme your selfe with patience . Ric. These are casualties That are not new , but common . Reig. Burying of Wiues , As stale as shifting shifts , or for some seruants , To flout and gull their Masters . Own . Best to send And see how her fit holds her . Enter Prudencilla and Clowne . Prud. Sir , my Sister In these few Lines commends her last to you , For she is now no more ; What 's therein writ , Saue Heauen and you , none knowes , This she desir'd You would take view of ; and with these words expired . Winc. Dead ? Y. Ger. She hath made one then a free release , Of all the debts I owed her . Winc. My feare is beyond pardon , Dalauill Hath plaid the villaine , but for Geraldine , Hee hath bin each way Noble — Loue him still , My peace already I haue made with Heauen ; Oh be not you at warre with me ; My Honour Is in your hands to punish , or preserue ; I am now Confest , and only Geraldine Hath wrought on mee this vnexpected good ; The Inke I write with , I wish had bin my blood , To witnesse me Repentance — Dalauill ? Where 's hee ? Goe seeke him out . Clo. I shall , I shall Sir . Exit . Winc. The Wills of Dead folke should be still obeyed ; How euer false to mee , I 'le not reueale 't ; Where Heauen forgiues , I pardon Gentlemen , I know you all commiserate my losse ; I little thought this Feast should haue bin turn'd Enter Clowne . Into a Funerall ; What 's the newes of him ? Clo.

Hee went presently to the Stable , put the Sadle vpon his Horse , put his Foote into the Stirrup , clapt his Spurres into his sides , and away hee 's Gallopt , as if hee were to ride a Race for a Wager .

Winc. All our ill lucks goe with him , farewell hee ; But all my best of wishes wait on you , As my chiefe Friend ; This meeting that was made Onely to take of you a parting leaue , Shall now be made a Marriage of our Loue , Which none saue onely Death shall separate . Y. Ger. It calles me from all Trauell , and from hencefoorth , With my Countrey I am Friends . Winc. The Lands that I haue left , You lend mee for the short space of my life ; As soone as Heauen calles mee , they call you Lord ; First feast , and after Mourne ; Wee 'le like some Gallants That Bury thrifty Fathers , think 't no sinne , To weare Blacks without , but other Thoughts within . Exeunt Omnes . FINIS .
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snckt , and France , and from their ayres haue suckt A breath of euery language : but no more Lady● Introath Lady, , I neuer cast on any in those parts A curious Courtrey found in any Traueller , Especially of our Countrey , thereby seeking To make your selfe peculiar prou●dent , it askes abundant Feasts ; For so hath prouident Nature dealt with all ; So in the choyce ●●●id were that Lady , in my thoughts , Whom you would deine that grace too . clam●d had in mee , That which he hath , to haue clam'd it for mine owne , How euer , I much thanke sfomackes cannot bee without good stomackes , good stomachs , without good digestion , good digestion hou●e Shall I bee beate out of my Masters house thus ? Ca●arie whilest I rince my Throat , With Burdeaux and Canarie . Diseiplines within , With Learnings , Knowledge , Arts and disciplines ; All that is nought and vicious , they Loucrs Court behauiour , doth best grace you , for Louers regard , Not so much the outward habit , Shippsonely onely , when the Wind sits in one corner ? Or Shipps onely Saile , when it's in this , or that foone Garment , and vse no Varietie , and see how soone it will Rot , and turne to Raggs . raucnous her Items , in my Mercers Bookes , Whose raucous Guts , I haue Stuft with Delicates , Nay ●●'e Her hand , I meane ; And now il'e 〈◊〉 thee , According to thy Councell giuen 〈◊〉 Her hand , I meane ; And now ●●'e sentence thee , According to thy Councell giuen to Sursit To preuent Surfit , They Diet , sha I bee to one Dish confin'd naftieft Flagons , Iaoks , And Snuffes , such as the nastiest Breathes shall leaue ; Of Wine , and Strong-water 〈◊〉 Oh me , I Faint already . sinc●e If I sincke in my State , of all the rest , Be thou fe●de from drie springs , from empty , Knap-sacks feede . Swon●ds She Swounds . ow●es Exeunt omnes . soorth Growes , it Spreads , it Ripens , and brings foorth , Such an Vsurious Crop of timely Fruit Pitats Merchandise , through Gulfes , Crosse-Tides , Pirats and Stormes , he brings so farre ; Th' other langhing Y. Geraldine , Dallauill , Prudentilla , laughing . Youare You are pleasant , Oendemen , what 〈◊〉 Might Oendemen You are pleasant , Gentlemen , what 〈◊〉 Might be the Subiect of your 〈◊〉 You are pleasant , Oendemen , what I Might be the Subiect of your pleasant sport Sring Tongue must be the Instrument , On which the String must strike . doeprotest smoother Tongue , For in my poore discourse , I doe protest , 'twill but loose his luster . 'tis-hee Bee thou still dumbe , 'tis hee that I would heare . Moouning Roome wherein they quafft , to be a Pinnace , Mouing and Floating ; and the confused Noise , that ' scertaine steale out of Doores , And see the end of it , that's certaine . scertaine of Doores , And see the end of it , that's certaine . m●e may sit vp late , My eyes begin to summon mee to sleepe , And nothing's more offensiue lone And my late Marriage , Through my Husbands loue , Mid-night hath beene as Mid-day , and canscarce then common considence , And in this Age , can scarce find president . reuew'd young ; And hee for yours , to haue his Youth renew'd ; So mutuall is your trew coniugall Loue Lone's No doubt ; but Love's still Iealous , and in that To be excused wirnesse still remaine , Of which , the house will witnesse , and the old man Must finde when he enters Dalannll Manet Dalauill and Old Geraldine . b●t You to your Prospects , but there's proiect heere That's of another sancies You haue Sir , Possest me with such strange fancies . scandalons True Sir , at best ; But what when scandalous tongues Will make the worst ? and what good sma●lest In which , If euer I occasion was , Of the smallest breach ; The greatest implacable mischiefe cons●ience We know you haue a throat , wide as your conscience ; You need not vse it now — Come , get you no● 'Tis not past two , and I can stay till three , Ile trouble 〈◊〉 neere was caught till now . Come come , y'are troublesome . de●●●y sufficient in his charge , With surplus , to defray a large expence , Without this neede of la●ge in his charge , With surplus , to defray a large expence , Without this neede of borrowing name● In this restraint , you haue not vs'd my name. . howsoe●e Master Dalauill , Hee's a constant Guest : And howsoere to some , that shall bee namelesse , His Heerc's Heere's your wine Sir . seele liues , Feast , Reuell , and Carowse ; You feel no tedious houres ; Time playes with you own● are loath to sell ; Some alterations in his owne hee'd make . And hearing yours by worke-men dr●●●● him ; Knowing the cost , That hee should dreame of Building . necrenesse Now Sir , to haue him neere him , and that nearenesse Too , without trouble , though beneath one Galleric And what a Gallerie , How costly Seeled ; What painting round Ex●unt Exeunt . lea●e That's the Word indeed ; You haue leaue to passe freely Without calling my Corporall ser●ants promise , the businesse is composed , and the seruants disposed , my young Mistris reposed , my int●eat welcome : Take that Chaire , I this : Nay , I intreat no complement ; Attend — Fill wine . yawn● Till the mouthes of the bottles yawne directly vpon the floore , and the bottomes rayl●s the floore , and the bottomes turne their rayles vp to the seeling ; Whil'st there's any 〈◊〉 Then I proceed ; With due acknowledgement Of all your more 〈◊〉 : — I left it in my Chamber , And thankes Heauen That I did to ; It hath preuented me From securely● preuented me From playing a base Hang-man : Since securelye Whilst I , although for many , yet lesse 〈◊〉 stretch My iust reuenge so farre , as once by blabbing To make your brazen Impudence to 〈◊〉 ; Damne 〈◊〉 once by 〈◊〉 To make your brazen Impudence to blush ; Damne on , reuenge too great ; And to 〈◊〉 suppresse Your Soules yet lower , without hope to rise Heape Ossa vpon Pelion : You haue made mee 〈◊〉 thus : Ill man , bad Woman , your vnheard of trecherie , This uniust censure , on a Iust man giue 〈◊〉 giue , To seeke out place , where no two such can liue . Dalanill Enter Dalauill as a Night - 〈◊〉 : Wift in a Nighttyre , as Enter Dalauill in a Night - 〈◊〉 : Wift in a Nighttyre , as 〈◊〉 Enter Dalauill as a Night - gowne : Wift in a Nighttyre , as comming from 〈◊〉 as a Night - 〈◊〉 : Wift in a Nighttyre , as 〈◊〉 from 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 a Night - 〈◊〉 : Wift in a Nighttyre , 〈◊〉 comming from 〈◊〉 . 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 : Wift in a Nighttyre , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 from Bed . 〈◊〉 A happy Morning now betide your Lady , To equall the content of a sweet your A happy Morning now betide you Lady , To equall the content of a sweet 〈◊〉 It hath bin to my wish , and your desire : And this your comming by 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 your desire : And this your comming by pretended Vnto my Sister Pru . cuts of suspition Of 〈◊〉 suspition Of any such conuerse 'twixt you and mee . 〈◊〉 your Friend Geraldine , Should on the sudden thus absent himselfe ? Has he had thinke you 〈◊〉 on my Soule , For therein hath my braine exceeded yours ; I studdying to engrosse you to my selfe 〈◊〉 my selfe , Of his continued absence haue bin cause Yet hee of your affection no way iealous 〈◊〉 , But with the dawne , will open ; Sweet retire you To your warme Sheets ; I now to fill 〈◊〉 triall , so by this , Wee might haue past our Pennance . rog●e Honest rogue . O●● Omn . 〈◊〉 I was afraid some Catchpole stood behind me , To clap me on the Shoulder . perisn Or perish in the conflict . sing●e , Fox you all ; Goe , call for Wine ; For singlie of my selfe I will oppose all danger ; But disttest you , When I shall faint or find my selfe distrest ; If I like braue Orlands , winde my Horne yo● Nay , stirre not you ? er●ant the Gate , but giue me leaue to deliuer my errant ; Hoe , Reignald , you mad Rascall . busin●● seruant ? before I shall demand of further business . Resolue me why thou thunder'st at these p●asting Where's my sonne , That Reignald poasting for him with such speed , Brings him not 〈◊〉●o●● seuen hundred pounds receiued Before hand of my sonne ? so●●'d friends , I am quite lost , was neuer man so fool'd , And by a wicked seruant ; Shame and blushing 〈◊〉 Friends , as you would commiserate a man Depriu'd at once , both of his wealth m●n Friends , as you would 〈◊〉 a man Depriu'd at once , both of his wealth and Reig●●d not to doe the least hurt to my old friend Reginald . 〈◊〉 ( Impudent slave ) But Reignald , hee not onely doth demie gro●●e Now Heauen , to see to what this world's growne too . I will make him — m●n Nay more , this man will not confesse the Murder . Iuery-〈◊〉 Fishes , some of Beasts , Box-combes , and Iuery-combes 〈◊〉 . Si● But besides these , we haue for Horses Sir , Mayne-combes , and Curry-combes ; Now Head-oombes Curry-combes ; Now Sir for men , Wee haue Head-combes , 〈◊〉 - combes , I and Cox-combes too ; 〈◊〉 Now Sir for men , Wee haue Head-combes , Beard - combes , I and Cox-combes too ; Take view 〈…〉 They all appeare with Cords and Shackels , Whilest hee goes vp . Shacke●s They all appeare 〈…〉 and Shackels , Whilest hee goes vp . 〈…〉 Why Harbour long , and now it must bee my Sanctuary 〈…〉 Villaine To challenge me of Murder ? iustisie man you kil'd is aliue at this present to iustifie it : I am , quoth he , a Trans-marine by Friend This is my Friend, the one I loued , Onely because they haue 〈…〉 This is my Friends the one I loued , Onely because they haue bin 〈◊〉 Sirra come downe . Reighnald Enter Reginald . a●quaintance and many noble friends , Of your much wisht acquaintance . 〈◊〉 dispens'd with , shew me reason Why you desire to steale out of your Countrey , Like some Malefactor stangenesse faire and large estate ; Yet you of all this strangenesse , Show no sufficient ground . life● Though you seeme desperate of your owne deare life, , Haue care of mine , for it exists in you thce begetting greater floods , I doe beseech thou , my deere Geraldine , Looke to thy safety li●● Medusa , Those Haires that late appeared like golden Wyers , Now crawle with Snakes and Innocenti●●s Onely hee , That pittying such an Innocencie as mine , Should by two such delinquents bee wharthou But thinke what thou hast lost To forfeit mee ; I not withstanding v●●●erable withstanding these , ( So fixt was my loue and vulnerable ) I kept this from thy Husband , nay all 〈◊〉 smothering mine owne wrongs , In hope of thy Repentance begin● Which begins thus low vpon my knees . 〈◊〉 Tush , bow in Heauen , Which thou hast most offended ; alas , Sca●ce hast most offended ; alas , Saue in such ( Scarce vnheard of ) Treacherie , Most sinfull like ●●ale the least of these ? Sworne to be made a stale For terme of life ; And all this for my gra●e Suffer'd , when I my Wife brought vnto her graue ; So you , when you were first a widower 〈◊〉 Sir , my Sister In these few Lines commends her last to