The fryer, an[d] the boy

A Merry Iest : of the Frier & the Boy .

woodcut

THat God that dyed for vs all , And dranke both vineger and gall , bring vs out of bale : And giue them both good life and long Which listen doe vnto my song , or tend vnto my tale . ¶ There dwelt a man in my Countrie Which in his life had wiues thrée : a blessing full of ioy : By the first wife a sonne he had , Which was a pretty sturdylad , a good vnhappy boy . His Father loued him well , But his step-mother neuer a dell , I tell you as I thinke : All things she thought lost by the Rood Which to the boy did any good , as either meat or drink , And yet I wis it was but bad , Nor halfe enough thereof he had , but euer more the worst , And therefore euill might she fare , That did the little boy such care , so farre forth as she durst . Vnto the man the wife gan say , I would you 'd put this boy away , and that right soone in hast , Truely he is a cursed lad . I would some other man him had that would him better chast . Then said the good-man dame not so I will not let the young boy goe , he is but re●ber of age , He shall with me this yeare abide , till he be growne more strong and tride for to winne better wage . We haue a man a sturdy lout which kéepeth our neat the fields about and sléepeth all the day , He shall come home as god me shield , And the boy shall into the field , to kéepe them if he may . Then said the wife in verament Husband thereto I giue concent , for that I thinke it néede : On the morrow when it was day The litte boy went on his way vnto the field with spéed , Of no man he tooke any care , But song heyho away the mare , much mirth he did pursue , Forth he went with might and maine , Vntill he came vnto the plaine , where he his dinner drew . But when he saw it was so bad , Full little list there to he had , but put it vp from sight , Saying he had no list to tast , But that his hunger still should last till he came home at night : And as the boy sate on a hill , There came an old man him vntill , was walking by the way : Sonne he said , God thée sée , Now welcome Father may ye be the little boy gan say . The old man said I hunger sore Then hast thou any meate in store , which thou mightst giue to m● ? The Childs ropli'de , so God me saue , To such poore victuals as I haue , right welcome shall you be . Of this the olde man was full glad , The boy drew forth such as he had , and said goe to gladly : The olde man easte was to please , He eate and made himselfe at ease , saying , Sonne gramercy , Sonne he said th' ast giuen meat to mée , And I will giue thrée things to thée , what ere thou wilt intreat : Thensaid the boy t is best I trowe , That you bestowe on me a Bowe , with which I birds may get . A Bowe my Sonne I will thée giue , Such as shall last while thou doe liue , was neuer Bowe more fit : For if thou shoot therin all day , Waking or winking , or any way , the marke thou still shalt hit . Now when the Bowe in hand he felt , And Arrowes had vnder his belt , hartily he laught Iwis : And said had I a Pipe withall , Though nere so little or so small , I then had all my wish , A Pipe Sonne thou shalt hane also , That in true musike so shall goe , I put thee out of dout , As who that liues , and shall it heare , Shall haue no power to forbeare , but laugh and leap about . Now tell me what the third shall be , For thrée things I will giue to thée , as I haue said before : The Boy then smiling , answer made , I haue ynough for my poore trade , I will desire nomore . The olde man said my troth is plight , Thou shalt haue all I thée behight , say on now let me sée : At home I haue ( the Boy replide ) A cruell Step-dame full of pride , who is most curst to me . When meat my Father giues to me , She wishes poyson it might be , and stareth in my face : Now when she gazeth on me so I would she should a ray let goe which might ring through the place . The olde man answered then anon , When ere she lookes thy face vpon , her tayle shall winde the horne : So loudly , that who shall it hears , Shall not be able to forbeare but laugh her vnto scorne , So farewell sonne the old man cride , God keepe you sir the boy replide , I take my leane of thée : God that best of all thinges may Kéepe thée safe both night and day , gramercy sonne said he . When it grew neare vpon the night , Iack well prepar'd hide home ful right it was his ordinanee , And as he went his pipe did blow , The whilst his Cattle on a row about him gan to dance . Thus to the Towne he pipt full trim , His skipping beastes did follow him into his Fathers close ? He went and put them vp each one , Which done , be homeward went anon to 's Fathers Hall he goes . His Father at his supper sat , And little Iack espide well that , and said to him anon : Father , all day I kept your Neat , At night I pray you giue me meat , I 'me hungry by S. Iohn , Meatles I haue lien all the day , and kept your beasts , they did not stray , my diuner was but ill : His Father tooke a Capons wing , And at the boy he did it fling , bidding him eat his fill . This grieu'd his stepdames hart full sore Who loath'd the lad still more and more : she star'd him in the face : With that she let goe such ablast , As made the people all agast , it sounded through the place . Each one did laugh and make good game , But the curst wife grew red for shame , and wisht she had béene gone : Pardy ( the boy said ) well I wot , That Gun was both well chargd & st●ot , and might haue broke a stone . Full curstly she lookt on him thoe , That looke an other crack let goe which did a thunder raise : Quoth the boy did you euer sée A woman let her pellets flée more thick and more at ease ? Fie said the boy vnto his dame , Temper thy tel-tale bum for shame , which made her full of sorrow : Dame said the good-man goe thy way , For why I swears by night nor day thy geare is not to borrow . Now afterward as you shall heare , Vnto the house there came a Frier , and lay there all the night : The wife this Frier lou'de as a Saint , And to him made a great complaint , of Iackes most vile despite . We haue quoth she within Iwis , A wicked Boy , none shrewder is , which doth me mighty eate : I dare not looke vpon his face , Or hardly tell my shamfull case , so stlthily I fare . For Gods loue méet the boy to morowe , Beat him well and giue him sorowe , and make him blinde or same : The Frier swore he would hint beat , The wife prayd him not to forget , the Boy did her much shame . Some Witch quoth she he is I smell , But quoth the Frier I le beat him well , of that take you no care : I le teach him wite-craft if I may , O quoth the wife doe so I pray , lay on and doe not spare . Early next morne the Boy arose And to the field full soone he goes , his Cattell for to driue : The Frier then vp as early gate , He was affraid to come too late , he ranne full fast and blithe . But when he came vpon the land , He found where little Iacke did stand kéeping his deasts alone : Now Boy he said God giue thée shame What hast thou done to thy Step-dame tell me forthwith anon . And if thou canst not quit thée well , I le beat thée till thy body swell , I will no longer bide : The Boy reply'd what ayleth thée ? My Stepdame is as well as yée , what need you thus to chide ? Come will you sée mine arrowe flye , And hit yon small bird in the eye and other things withall ? Sir Frier though I haue little wit , Yet yonder Bird I meane to hit and giue her you I shall . There sate a small Bird on a bryer , Shoot shoot you wag then said the Frier for that I long to sée : Iacke hit the Bird vpon the head , So right , that she fell downe for dead , no further could she flée . Fast to the bush the Frier went , And vp the Bird in hand he hent , much wondring at the chance : Meane while Iack tooke his pipe & plaid So loud the Frier grew mad apaid , and fell to skip and dance . No sooner was the pipes sound heard But Bedlani like he bounst and far'd , and leapt the bush about : The sharpe briers scracht him by the face , And by the bréech , and other place , that fast the bloud ran out . It tare his cloathes downe to the skirt , His cope , his coole , and linnen shirt , and euery other wéede : The thornes this while were rough and thick And did his priuy members prick , that fast they gan to bléede . Iack as he piped laught among , The Frier with bryers was vildly stung , he hopped wondrous hye : At last the Frier held vp his hand , And said I can no longer stand , oh I shall dauncing dye . Gentle Iacke thy Pipe holde still , And heere I vow for good nor ill to doe thée any woe : Iacke laughing to him thus replide , Frier ship out on the other side , thou hast frée leaue to goe . Out of the bush the Frier then went , All martyrd , ragged , scratcht and rent , and torne on euery side ; Hardly on him was left a clout , To wrap his belly round about , his harlotry to hide . The thornes had scratcht him by the face , On hands , on thighes , and euery place , he was all bath ● in blood , So much , that who the Frier did sé , For feare of him , were faine to flée , thinking he had bene wood . When to the good wife home he came , He made no bragges for very shame to sée his cloathes rent all : Much sorowe in his heart he had , And euery man did gesse him mad when he was in the Hall . The good wife said where hast thou béene ? Sure in some euill place I wéene , by sight of thine array : Dame ( said he ) I came from thy Sonne , The Deuill and he hath me vndone , no man him conquer may . With that , the goodman he came in , The wife set on her madding pin , cride , héer 's a foule array : Thy Sonne that is thy life and dere , Hath almost slaine the holy Frier , alas and well away . The good-man said benediciti , What hath the bilde boy done to thee , now tell me without let ? The deuill him take the Frier then said , Homade m● dance despite my head , among the Thornes , the hey go bef . The good-man said vnto him tho , Father , hadst thou bene murdred so , it had bens deadly sinne : The Frier to him made this reply , The Pipe did sound so merrily that I could neuer blin . Now when it grew to almost night , Iacke the Boy came home sull right , as he was wont to do : But when he came into the Hall , Full soone his Father did him call , and bad him come him to . Boy he said , come tell me here , What hast thou done vnto this Frier , lye not in any thing Father he said , now by my birth , I playd him but a fit of mirth , and pipte him vp a spring . That Pipe said's Father would I heare Now God forbid cride out the Frier , his handes he then did wring : You shall ( the boy said ) by Gods grace , The Fryer replide woe , and alas , making his sorrowes ring . For Gods loue said the wretched Frier , And if you will that strange Pipe heare , binde me fast to a post : For sure my fortune thus I read , If dance I doe I am but dead , my wofull life is lost . Strong ropes they tooke both sharpe and round And to the poast the Frier they bound in the middle of the hall : All they which at the Table sat , Laughed and made good sport thereat , saying Frier thou canst not fall . Then said the goodman to the boy , Iack pipe me vp some merry toy , pipe fréely when thou will : Father , the boy said verily , You shall haue mirth enough and glée ; till you bid me be still . With that his pipe he quickly hent , And pipte , the whilst in verament , each Creature gan to dance : Lightly they skipt and leapt about , Yerking their legs now in , now out , striuing aloft to prance . The good man as in sad dispaire Leapt out , and through , & ore his chaire , no man could caper hier : Some others leapt quite ore the stocks Some start at strawes and fell ore blocks some wallowed in the fier . The good man made himselfe good sport To sée them dance in this mad sort , the good-wife sate not still : But as shée danst the look't on Iack , And fast her taile did do●●le each crack , loud as a water-mill . The Frier this while was almost lost , He knockt hi● pate against the poast , 't was then his dancing grace , The rope rubd him vnder the chinne , That the blood ran fro● his tatterd skin , in many a naked place . Iack pip●ng ran into the stréet , They followed him with nimble féete , hauing no power to stay : And in their hast the doore did cracke , Each tumbling ouer his fellowes back vnmindfull of their way . The neighbours that were dwelling by , Hearing the pipe so merrily , came dancing to the gate : Some leapt ore doores , some ore the hatch No man would stay to draw the latch , but thought he came too late . Some sicke or sléeping in their bed , As they by chance lift vp their head , were with the pipe awaked : Straight foorth they start through doores ● locks Some in their shirts som in their smocks and some starke belly naked . When all were gathered round about , There was a bilde vnruly rout that danced in the stréet : Of which some lame that could not go● Striuing to leape did tumble so , they dancst on hands and féet . Iack tyred with sport said now I 'le rest , Doe ( quoth his Father ) I holde it best , thou cloyst me with this cheare : I pray thée boy now quiet sit , In faith this was the merriest sit I heard this seauen yeare . All those that dancing thither came Laught heartily and made good game , yet some got many a fall : Thou cursed boy cry'd out the Frier , Héere I doe summon thée to appeare before the Officiall : Looke thou be there on Friday next , I le méete thée then though now perplext , for to ordaine thy sorrow : The boy replide , I make a vow , Fryer I le appeare as sóone as thou , if Friday were to morrow . But friday came as you shall heare , Iackes step-dame and the dancing Frier together they were met : And other people a great pace , Flockt to the Court to heare each case , the Officiall was set . Much ciuill matters were to doe , More Libels read then one or two , both against Priest and Clarke : Some there had testaments to prooue , Some women there through wanton loue which got stroakes in the darke . Each Procter there did plead his case When forth did step Frier Topias , and Iackes step-dame also : Sir Officiall aloud said he , I haue brought a wicked boy to thée hath done me mightie woe : He is a Witch as I doe feare , In Orleance he can finde no peare , this of my troth I know . He is a Deuill ( quoth the wife ) And almost hath bereau'd my life at that , her taile did blowe , So lowd , th' assembly laught thereat , And said her pistols cracke was flat , the charge was all amisse : Dame ( qd. the gentle Officiall ) Procéed and tell me forth thy tale , an doe not let for this . The wife that feard another cracke , Stood mute , and nere a word she spake , shame put her in such dread : Ha ( said the Frier ) right angerly , Knaue this is all still long of thée , now euill maist thou spéed . The Frier said , sir Officiall , This wicked boy will ve●e vs all , vnlesse you doe him chaste : Sir , he hath yet a pipe , truly , Will make you dance and leape full hie , and breake your heart at last , The Officiall replide perdie , Such a pipe I faine would sée , and what mirth it can make : Now God forbid replide the Fryer , That ere we should that vilde pipe h●are ere I my way hence take . Pipe on Iacke ( said the Officiall ) And let me heare thy cunning all . Iacke blew his pipe full lowd , That euery man start vp and dancst , Procters & Priests , and Somners pran●t and all in that great crowd , Ouer the desks the Officiall ran , And hopt vpon the Table , that straight iumpt vnto the flore : That Frier that danst as fast as he Met him mid-way , and dangerously broake eithers face full sore . The Register leapt from his pen , And hopt into the throng of men , his Inke-horne in his hand : Which swinging round about his head , pome he strucke blinde , some almost dead , some they could hardly stand . The Procters slung their Billes about : The good-wiues taile gaue many a shout , perfuming all the mirth : He Somners as they had béene wood eapt ore the formes and seates a good , and wallowed on the earth . Renches that for their Pennance came , and other méeds of worldly shame , danst euery one as fast : ach set vpon a mercy pin , ome brok● their heads , & some their shin and some their noses brast . he officiall thus sore turmoild , ●lfe swelt with sweat & almost spoild , cride to the wanton childe , To pipe no more within that place , But stay the sound euen for Gods grace , and loue of Parie milde . Iacke said , As you will it shall be , Prouided I may hence goe free , and no man doe me wrong . Neither this woman nor this Frier , Nor any other creature héere , he answered him anon : Iack , I to thée my promise plight , In thy defence I meane to fight , and will oppose thy fone . Iack ceast his pipe then all still stood , Some laughing hard , some raging wood , so parted at that tide : Tho Officiall and the Somner , The step dame , and the wicked Frier , with much ioy , mirth , and pride . FINIS .