The treatyse answerynge the boke of berdes. Compyled by Collyn clowte, dedycatyd to Barnarde barber dwellynge in Banbery Barnes, satirist. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A04524 of text S109177 in the English Short Title Catalog (STC 1465). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 14 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 9 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2018 A04524 STC 1465 ESTC S109177 99844826 99844826 9672 2240929675

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Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A04524) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 9672) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 24:06) The treatyse answerynge the boke of berdes. Compyled by Collyn clowte, dedycatyd to Barnarde barber dwellynge in Banbery Barnes, satirist. Clowte, Collyn. [16] p. R. Wyer., [London : 1541?] B4 recto caption title reads: Barnes in defence of the berde. Collyn Clowte is a pseudonym. Printer's name supplied and publication date conjectured by STC. Partly in verse. With woodcut title illustration. Signatures: A-B⁴. Considerable print show-through. Imperfect: leaf A4 lacking. Reproduction of the original in the British Library. eng Boorde, Andrew, 1490?-1549. -- Fyrst boke of the introduction of knowledge. eebo The treatyse answerynge the boke of berdes. Compyled by Collyn clowte, dedycatyd to Barnarde barber dwellynge in Banbery. Barnes, satirist 1541 18 2116 15 0 0 0 0 1 1488.66 F The rate of 1488.66 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the F category of texts with 100 or more defects per 10,000 words. 2006-03 Assigned for keying and markup 2006-05 Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2007-05 Sampled and proofread 2007-05 Text and markup reviewed and edited 2008-02 Batch review (QC) and XML conversion

The treatyse answerynge the boke of Berdes . Compyled by Collyn clowte , dedycatyd to Barnarde barber dwellynge in Banbery .

To drynke with me , be not a ferde For here ye se groweth neuer a berde ▪

I am a Foole of Cocke lorellys bote Callyng al knaues , to pull therin a rope .
The preface , or the pystle .

TO the ryght worshypfulle ( Barnarde Barber , ) dwellynge in Banberye , Collyn ▪ Clowte , surrendreth gretynge with immortall thankes .

IT was so worshypful syr , that at my last beynge in Mountpyllour I chaunsed to be assocyat with a doctor of Physyke / which at his retorne had set forth .iij. Bokes to be prynted in Fleetstrete , within Temple barre , the whiche Bokes were compyled togyther in one volume named the Introductorie of knowledge / whervpon there dyd not resort only vnto hym marchauntes , gentylmen , and wymen / but also knyghtes , and other great men , whiche were desyrous to knowe the effycacyte , and the effecte of his aforesayd bodis , and so amonge many thynges , they desyred to knowe his fansye , consernynge the werynge of Berdes / He answeryd in great experyence . Some wyl weer berdis bycause theyr faces be pocky , maungy sausflewme , lyporous , & dysfygured / by the whiche many clene men were infected . So this done he desyred euery man to be contentyd : Wherfore I desyre no man to be dyspleasyd with me . And where as he was anymatyd to wryte his boke to th ende , that great men may laugh therat / I haue deuysed this answere to the entent : that in the redyng they myght laughe vs bothe to scorne / And for that cause I wrote this boke , as god knoweth my pretence / who euer keape youre maystershyp in helthe .

Here foloweth a treatyse , made Answerynge the treatyse of doctor Borde vpon Berdes .

CAllynge to remembraunce your notable reproche gyuen vnto berdes , I was constrayned to render the occasion therof , wherupon , I founde by longe surmyse and studye that ye had red the storye of Hellogobalus , & founde therin greate and stronge auctoryties / which by lykelyhode mouyd you to this Reformacyon of berdes . For ye knowe that Hellogobalus beynge gyuen moche to the desyre of the body , & that by moche superfluyte , ye thought it requysyght to commyt the fylthy synne of lechey , vpon the receyptꝭ of delycate meatis . For he caused his cokes to make & ordeyne suche hote meates that maye prouoke or st●t● hym the rather therunto . And in ther so doyng he made them some of his preuye chambre some of his hed lordes of his counsell But yet the chefe and pryncypall preseptes that he gaue vnto his cokꝭ , was this that they shulde not only polle theyr hedes , but also shaue theyr berdes . For this entente , that when he were dronkyn , or v●●etynge rype by takyng excesse , that he myghte be well assuryd , that it came not by no heer of from his cokes heddes . For his delyght was not onely in the feminyne kynde / and also delyghted in wo●●●●y men / yet ●● and his syne vnder●y● faces ledde not onely a ●ytyous lyfe , but also made a shameful ende . Not withstandynge other that , or this storye folowynge was and ●s the ●●●alyon why yt abore berdes , and that was this at your laste beynge in Mowntpyllyer , Martyn the surgyen beyng there with you , & dyd accompany dayly with none so moch as with you : yf ye be remembred , he brought you to dyner vpon a daye to one Hans smormowthes house a duche man , in whiche house you were cupshore , otherwyse called dronkyn , at whiche tyme your berde was longe / so then your assocyat martyn brought you to bed / and with the remouyng your stomake tornyd , & so ye vometyd in his bosome , howbeit as moche as your berde myghte holde vpon youre berde remayned tyll the next daye in the morenyng . And when ye waked & smelt your owne berde , ye fel to it a fresshe , and callynge for your frende Martyn shewynge the cause of this laste myschaunce . wherupon ye desyred to shaue you . And so when ye sawe your berde ye sayd that it was a shamfull thynge on any mans face . And so it is in suche cases I not denye / yet shall ye consyder , that our Englysshe men beynge in Englande dothe vse to kepe theyr berdes moche more clen

As ●●●ge as any berdes be worne Mockynge shall not be forborne But yet al length his is the scorne . I fere it not with berdyd men , he wyll not drynke Bycause it doth in theyr berdes synke The cause therof , ye may soone thynke His berde in Flaunders ones dyd stynke whiche by dystulacyon Of a vomytacyon Made suche dysturbacyon That it abored the nacyon . I fere it not Some berdꝭ he saith doth grow a pace To hyde an euyll roleryd face In fayth his had an homlye grace when he was in that dronkyn case But sythe he doth this matter stere To make that shauynge shuld be dere I thynke it doth full well appere That foles had neuer lesse wyt in a yere I fere it not A berde sayth he , wyl breyd moch care If that he with his mayster compare Hi● may ye proue a wy● full dare That iudgeth so a man to fare what man lyuyng , I wold fayne knowe That for comꝑason letis his berde growe But yet though that a spyghtfull shrow His spyghtful wordes , abrode doth blow I fere it not , &c Of berdes he sayth , ther cōms no gaynes & berdꝭ quycknyth not the braynes Lo how in Physyke , he taketh paynes He merytes a busshel of brwers graynes He warneth also euery estate To auoyde berdes , for fere of debate If men , lyke hym shuld vse to prate His warnyng then shuld come to late . I fere it not If berdes also a purse doth pycke As ye compare them to be lyke yet ye haue gotte more in one wycke Then berdes in .x. togyther may stryke For by castynge of a pyspotte ye haue pollyd many a grote yea and moche more god wotte By falshede ye haue gotte . I fere it not yet one thynge more , I wyll assayle The daunger of drynkyng ye do bewayle Beleue ye me , yf all do fayle In stede of a cup , ye shall haue a payle For you haue gyuen warnynge playne That berdyd men , shall be full fayne To brynge a cup , for theyr owne gayne The more fole you , so to dysdayne , I fere it not Note me well , for it is trewe Thoughe berdyd men , ye wyll eschewe There be moche honyster men than you That wyl drynke long , or they do spewe As you haue done , I knowe or this wherfore I say , though so it is I wyll not tell that is amys yet wyll I tell , some trewyth yewys . I fere it not yet of one thynge , that ye do treate Howe that a berde , in a great swete By lyke doth catche , a kauysshe hete Therby ye do a great prayse gete For trewely vnfayned your honyste is dystayned All though ye haue dysdayned Men knowe ye haue sustayned . I fere it not Though in the wynter , a dew wyl lye That dystylleth from the nose pryuelye To refrayne your cup , ye pray them hartly And all is for superflous glotonye For glotony , is of suche a kynde That ende of excesse , he can none fynde Tyll past is both , the wyt and mynde So one of those ye be assynde . I fere it not
The seconde parte of that songe . I Lytell thought , ye were so wyse Berdes to deuyse of the new guyse But truely , for your enterpryse ye may go cast your wyt at dyse At syncke or syse , whiche so doth fall Fere ye not to cash at all For yf you lose your lostes be small It is to dere , a tenys ball . I fere it not A berde vpon his ouer lyppe ye saye wyll be a proper tryppe wherby ye shall the better skyppe Go your wayes . I dare let you slyppe where as be many more I thynke by .xx. score In cocke lorelles ●ote before ye maye take anore . I fere it not yet though that ye one thing do craue which is a muster deuyles berde to haue ye make me study , so god me saue If this peticion , came not of a knaue Perhapes some other man dyd make it And so ye dyd vp take it But best ye were forsake it For fere of Pears go nakyt . Nowe fere you that ye say some berdes be lyke lambes woll with lytell wyt within theyr skull who goth a myle , to sucke a bull Comes home a fole , and yet not full And where ye wyshe them pekt with pyes That weres a berde , vnto theyr lyes Be wyse take hede , suche homely spyes O tymes can spye your crafty lyes . I fere it not But syr I praye you , yf you tell can Declare to me when god made man I meane by our forefather Adam whyther that he had a berde than And yf he had , who dyd hym shaue Syth that a 〈…〉 , he coulde no● haue well then ye proue hym there a knaue Bycause his berde , he dyd so saue . I fere it not Christ & his apostles , ye haue declaryd That theyr berdes myght not be sparyd Nor to theyr berdes , no berdes comparyd Trewe it is , yet we repayryd By his vocacion , to folowe in generall His disciples , both great and small And folowyng ther vse we shuld not fal Nothynge exceptynge our berdes at all I fere it not Sampson with many thousandes more Of auncient phylosophers , full great store wolde not be shauen , to dye therfore why shulde you then , repyne so sore Amyt that men doth Imytate Thynges of antyquite , and noble state Such counterfeat thingꝭ oftymes do mytygate Moche ernest yre , and debate . I fere it not Therfore to cease , I thynke be best For berdyd men , wolde lyue in rest you proue your selfe , a homly gest So folyfshely , to rayle and iest For if I wolde go make in ryme Howe new shauyd men , loke lyke scraped fwyne & so rayle forth , from tyme to tyme A knauysshe laude , then shulde be myne I fere it not what shulde auayle , me to do so yf I shulde teache , howe men shulde go Thynkynge my wyt , moche better lo Then any other , frende or fo I myght be imputed trewly For a foole , that doth gloryfye In my nowne selfe onelye I thynke you wyll it veryfye . I fere it not And thus farewel , though I do wryght To answere for berdes , by reason ryght yet vnberdyd men , I do not spyght Though ye on berdes therin delyght And in concludynge , of this thynge I praye god , laue our noble kynge Berdes & vnberdyd , to heuen vs brynge Where as is Ioye euerlastynge . I fere it not . &c.
Finis ,
❧ Barnes in the defence of the Berde .

BArnes I say yf thou be shent Bycause thou wantyst eloquence Desyre them that thyne entent May stonde all tymes for thy defence Consyderynge that thy hole pretence was more desyrous of vnyte Then to enuent curyosyte . R W

Ad imprimendum solum .