Euery man in his humor As it hath beene sundry times publickly acted by the right Honorable the Lord Chamberlaine his seruants. Written by Ben. Iohnson.

EVERY MAN in his Humor .

ACTVS PRIMVS ,

SCENA PRIMA . Enter Lorenzo di Pazzi Senior , Musco .

NOw trust me , here 's a goodly day toward . Musco , call vp my sonne Lorenzo : bid him rise : tell him , I haue some businesse to imploy him in .

Mus. I will , sir , presently . Lore . se. But heare you , sirrah ; If he be at study , disturbe him not . Mus. Very good , sir. Exit Musco . Lore . se. How happy would I estimate my selfe , Could I ( by any meane ) retyre my sonne , From one vayne course of study he affects ? He is a scholler ( if a man may trust The lib'rall voyce of double-toung'd report ) Of deare account , in all our Academies . Yet this position must not breede in me A fast opinion , that he cannot erre . My selfe was once a student , and indeede Fed with the selfe-same humor he is now , Dreaming on nought but idle Poetrie : But since , Experience hath awakt my sprit's , Enter Stephano . And reason taught them , how to comprehend The soueraigne vse of study . What , cousin Stephano ? What newes with you , that you are here so earely ? Steph. Nothing : but ●ene come to see how you doe , vncle . Lore . se. That 's kindly done , you are welcome , cousin . Steph.

I , I know that sir , I would not haue come else : how doeth my cousin , vncle ?

Lore . se.

Oh well , well , goe in and see ; I doubt hee 's scarce stirring yet .

Steph.

Vncle , afore I goe in , can you tell me , and he haue e're a booke of the sciences of hawking and hunting ? I would fayne borrow it .

Lor. Why I hope you will not a hawking now , will you ? Step.

No wusse ; but i le practise against next yeare : I haue bought me a hawke , and bels and all ; I lacke nothing but a booke to keepe it by .

Lor. Oh most ridiculous . Step.

Nay looke you now , you are angrie vncle , why you know , and a man haue not skill in hawking and hunting now a daies , i le not giue a rush for him ; hee is for no gentlemans company , and ( by Gods will ) I scorne it I , so I doe , to bee a consort for euerie hum-drum ; hang them scroiles , ther 's nothing in them in the world , what doe you talke on it ? a gentleman must shew himselfe like a gentleman , vncle I pray you be not angrie , I know what I haue to do I trow , I am no nouice .

Lor. Go to , you are a prodigal , and selfe-wild foole , Nay neuer looke at me , it 's I that speake , Take 't as you will , i le not flatter you . What ? haue you not meanes inow to wast That which your friends haue left you , but you must Go cast away your money on a Buzzard , And know not how to keepe it when you haue done ? Oh it 's braue , this will make you a gentleman , Well Cosen well , I see you are e'ene past hope Of all reclaime ; I so , now you are told on it , you looke another way . Step. What would you haue me do trow ? Lor. What would I haue you do ? mary Learne to be wise , and practise how to thriue , That I would haue you do , and not to spend Your crownes on euerie one that humors you : I would not haue you to intrude your selfe In euerie gentlemans societie , Till their affections or your owne desert , Do worthily inuite you to the place . For he that s so respectlesse in his course , Oft sels his reputation vile and cheape . Let not your cariage , and behauiour taste Of affectation , lest while you pretend To make a blaze of gentrie to the world A little puffe of scorne extinguish it , And you be left like an vnsauorie snuffe , Whose propertie is onely to offend . Cosen , lay by such superficiall formes , And entertaine a perfect reall substance , Stand not so much on your gentility , Enter a seruingman . But moderate your expences ( now at first ) As you may keepe the same proportion still . Beare a low saile : soft who 's this comes here . Ser. Gentlemen , God saue you . Step.

Welcome good friend , we doe not stand much vpon our gentilitie ; yet I can assure you mine vncle is a man of a thousand pounde land a yeare ; hee hath but one sonne in the world ; I am his next heire , as simple as I stand here , if my cosen die : I haue a faire liuing of mine owne too beside .

Ser. In good time sir. Step. In good time sir ? you do not flout , do you ? Ser. Not I sir. Step.

And you should , here be them can perceiue it , and that quickly too : Go too , and they can giue it againe soundly , and need be .

Ser.

Why sir let this satisfie you . Good faith I had no such intent .

Step.

By God , and I thought you had sir , I would talke with you .

Ser. So you may sir , and at your pleasure . Step.

And so I would sir , and you were out of mine vncles ground , I can tell you .

Lor. Why how now cosen , will this nere be left ? Step.

Horson base fellow , by Gods lid , and 't were not for shame , I would .

Lor. se. What would you do ? you peremptorie Asse , And yow le not be quiet , get you hence . You see , the gentleman contaynes himselfe In modest limits , giuing no reply To your vnseason'd rude comparatiues ; Yet yow le demeane your selfe , without respect Eyther of duty , or humanity . Goe get you in : fore God I am asham'd Exit Steph. Thou hast a kinsmans interest in me . Ser. I pray you , sir , is this Pazzi house ? Lor. se. Yes mary is it , sir. Ser. I should enquire for a gentleman here , one Signior Lorenzo di Pazzi ; doe you know any such , sir , I pray you ? Lore se. Yes , sir : or else I should forget my selfe ▪ Ser.

I crye you mercy , sir , I was requested by a gentleman of Florence ( hauing some occasion to ride this way ) to deliuer you this letter .

Lor. se.

To me , sir ? What doe you meane ? I pray you remember your curt'sy .

To his deare and most elected friend , Signior Lorenzo di Pazzi . What might the gentlemans name be , sir , that sent it ? Nay , pray you be couer'd .

Ser. Signior Prospero . Lore . se

Signior Prospero ? A young gentleman of the family of Strozzi , is he not ?

Ser.

I , sir , the same : Signior Thorello , the rich Florentine merchant married his sister .

Enter Musco . Lore . se. You say very true . Musco . Mus. Sir . Lore . se. Make this Gentleman drinke , here . I pray you goe in , sir , and 't please you . Exeunt . Now ( without doubt ) this letter 's to my sonne . Well : all is one : I le be so bold as reade it , Be it but for the styles sake , and the phrase ; Both which ( I doe presume ) are excellent , And greatly varied from the vulgar forme , If Prospero's inuention gaue them life . How now ? what stuffe is here ?

Sirha Lorenzo , I muse we cannot see thee at Florence : S'blood , I doubt , Apollo hath got thee to be his Ingle , that thou commest not abroad , to visit thine old friends : well , take heede of him ; hee may doe somewhat for his houshold seruants , or so ; But for his Retayners , I am sure , I haue knowne some of them , that haue followed him , three , foure , fiue yeere together , scorning the world with their bare heeles , & at length bene glad for a shift , ( though no cleane shift ) to lye a whole winter , in halfe a sheete , cursing Charles wayne , and the rest of the starres intolerably . But ( quis contra diuos ? ) well ; Sirha , sweete villayne , come and see me ; but spend one minute in my company , and 't is inough : I thinke I haue a world of good Iests for thee ; oh sirha , I can shew thee two of the most perfect , rare , & absolute true Gulls , that euer thou saw'st , if thou wilt come . S'blood , inuent some famous memorable lye , or other , to flap thy father in the mouth withall : thou hast bene father of a thousand , in thy dayes , 〈◊〉 could'st be no Poet else : any sciruy roguish excuse will serue ; say thou com'st but to fetch wooll for thine Inke-borne . And then too , thy Father will say thy wits are a wooll-gathering . But it 's no matter ; the worse , the better . Any thing is good inough for the old man . Sirha , how if thy Father should see this now ? what would he thinke of me ? Well , ( howeuer I write to thee ) I reuerence him in my soule , for the generall good all Florence deliuers of him . Lorenzo , I coniure thee ( by what , let me see ) by the depth of our loue , by all the strange sights we haue seene in our dayes , ( I or nights eyther ) to come to me to Florence this day . Go to , you shall come , and let your Muses goe spinne for once . If thou wilt not , s'hart , what 's your gods name ? Apollo ? I ; Apollo If this melancholy rogue ( Lorenzo here ) doe not come , graunt , that he doe turne Foole presently , and neuer hereafter , be able to make a good Iest , or a blanke verse , but liue in more penurie of wit and Inuention , then eyther the Hall-Beadle , or Poet Nuntius .

Well , it is the strangest letter that euer I read . Is this the man , my sonne ( so oft ) hath prays'd To be the happiest , and most pretious wit That euer was familiar with Art ? Now ( by our Ladies blessed sonne ) I sweare , I rather thinke him most infortunate , In the possession of such holy giftes , Being the master of so loose a spirit . Why what vnhallowed ruffian would haue writ , With so prophane a pen , vnto his friend ? The modest paper eene lookes pale for griefe To feele her virgin-cheeke defilde and staind With such a blacke and criminall inscription . Well , I had thought my son could not haue straied , So farre from iudgement , as to mart himselfe Thus cheapely , ( in the open trade of scorne ) To geering follie , and fantastique humour But now I see opinion is a foole , And hath abusde my sences . Musco . Enter Musco . Mus. Sir . Lor. se. What is the fellow gone that brought this letter ? Mus. Yes sir , a prettie while since . Lor. se. And wher 's Lorenzo ? Mus. In his chamber sir. Lor. se. He spake not with the fellow , did he ? Mus. No sir , he saw him not . Lor. se.

Then Musco take this letter , and deliuer it vnto Lorenzo : but sirra , ( on your life ) take you no knowledge I haue open'd it .

Mus. O Lord sir , that were a iest in deed . Exit Mus. Lor. se. I am resolu'd I will not crosse his iourney . Nor will I practise any violent meane , To stay the hot and lustie course of youth . For youth restraind straight growes impatient , And ( in condition ) like an eager dogge , Who ( ne're so little from his game withheld ) Turnes head and leapes vp at his masters throat . Therefore i le studie ( by some milder drift ) To call my sonne vnto a happier shrift . Exit .

SCENA SECVNDA . Enter Lorenzo iunior , with Musco . Mus.

Yes sir , ( on my word ) he opend it , & read the contents ▪

Lor. iu.

It scarse contents me that he did so . But Musco didst thou obserue his countenance in the reading of it , whether hee were angrie or pleasde ?

Mus. Why sir I saw him not reade it . Le. iu. No ? how knowest thou then that he opend it ? Mus.

Marry sir because he charg'd mee ( on my life ) to tell no body that he opend it , which ( vnlesse he had done ) he wold neuer feare to haue it reueald .

Lo. iu. That s true : well Musco hie thee in againe , Least thy protracted absence do lend light , Enter Stephan . To darke suspition : Musco be assurde I le not forget this thy respectiue loue . Step.

Oh Musco , didst thou not see a fellow here in a whatsha-callum doublet ; he brought mine vncle a letter euen now ?

Mus. Yes sir , what of him ? Step. Where is he , canst thou tell ? Mus. Why he is gone . Step. Gone ? which way ? when went he ? how long since ? Mus. It s almost halfe an houre ago since he rid hence . Step.

Horson Scanderbag rogue , oh that I had a horse ; by Gods lidde i 'de fetch him backe againe , with heaue and ho.

Mus.

Why you may haue my masters bay gelding , and you will .

Step. But I haue no boots , that s the spite on it . Mus. Then it s no boot to follow him . Let him go and hang sir. Step.

I by my troth ; Musco , I pray thee help to trusse me a little ; nothing angers mee , but I haue waited such a while for him all vnlac'd and vntrust yonder , and now to see hee is gone the other way .

Mus. Nay I pray you stand still sir. Step. I will , I will : oh how it vexes me . Mus.

Tut , neuer vexe your selfe with the thought of such a base fellow as he .

Step.

Nay to see , he stood vpon poynts with me too .

Mus.

Like inough so ; that was , because he saw you had so fewe at your hose .

Step.

What ? Hast thou done ? God a mercy , good Musco .

Mus.

I marle , sir , you weare such ill-fauourd course stockings , hauing so good a legge as you haue .

Step.

Fo , the stockings be good inough for this time of the yeere ; but I le haue a payre of silke , e're it be long : I thinke , my legge would shewe well in a silke hose .

Mus.

I afore God would it rarely well .

Step.

In sadnesse I thinke it would : I haue a reasonable good legge .

Mus.

You haue an excellent good legge , sir : I pray you pardon me , I haue a little haste in , sir.

Step. A thousand thankes , good Musco . Exit . What , I hope he laughs not at me ; and he doe — Lo. iun.

Here is a style indeed , for a mans sences to leape ouer , e're they come at it : why , it is able to breake the shinnes of any old mans patience in the world . My father reade this with patience ? Then will I be made an Eunuch , and learne to sing Ballads . I doe not deny , but my father may haue as much patience as any other man ; for hee vses to take phisicke , and oft taking phisicke , makes a man a very patient creature . But , Signior Prospero , had your swaggering Epistle here , arriued in my fathers hands , at such an houre of his patience , ( I meane , when hee had tane phisicke ) it is to bee doubted , whether I should haue read sweete villaynt here . But , what ? My wise cousin ; Nay then , I le furnish our feast with one Gull more toward a messe ; hee writes to mee of two , and here 's one , that 's three , Ifayth . Oh for a fourth : now , Fortune , or neuer Fortune .

Step.

Oh , now I see who he laught at : hee laught at some body in that letter . By this good light , and he had laught at me , I would haue told mine vncle .

Lo. iun.

Cousin Stephano : good morrow , good cousin , how fare you ?

Step.

The better for your asking , I will assure you . I haue beene all about to seeke you ; since I came I saw mine vncle ; & ifaith how haue you done this great while ? Good Lord , by my troth I am glad you are well cousin .

Lor. iu.

And I am as glad of your comming , I protest to you , for I am sent for by a priuate gentleman , my most speciall deare friend , to come to him to Florence this morning , and you shall go with me cousin , if it please you , not els , I will enioyne you no further then stands with your owne consent , and the condition of a friend .

Step.

Why cousin you shall command me and 't were twise so farre as Florence to do you good ; what doe you thinke I will not go with you ? I protest .

Lo. iu.

Nay , nay , you shall not protest .

Step.

By God , but I will sir , by your leaue i le protest more to my friend then i le speake of at this time .

Lo. iu.

You speake very well sir.

Step.

Nay not so neither , but I speake to serue my turne .

Lo. iu.

Your turne ? why cousin , a gentleman of so faire sort as you are , of so true cariage , so speciall good parts ; of so deare and choice estimation ; one whose lowest condition beares the stampe of a great spirit ; nay more , a man so grac'd , guilded , or rather ( to vse a more fit Metaphor ) tinfoyld by nature , ( not that you haue a leaden constitution , couze , although perhaps a little inclining to that temper , & so the more apt to melt with pittie , when you fall into the fire of rage ) but for your lustre onely , which reflects as bright to the world as an old Ale-wiues pewter againe a good time ; and will you now ( with nice modestie ) hide such reall ornaments as these , and shadow their glorie as a Millaners wife doth her wrought stomacher , with a smoakie lawne or a blacke cipresse ? Come , come , for shame doe not wrong the qualitie of your desert in so poore a kind : but let the Idea of what you are , be portraied in your aspect , that men may reade in your lookes ; Here within this place is to be seene , the most admirable rare & accomplisht worke of nature ; Cousin what think you of this ?

Step.

Marry I do thinke of it , and I will be more melancholie , and gentlemanlike then I haue beene , I doe ensure you .

Lo. iu.

Why this is well : now if I can but hold vp this humor in him , as it is begun , Catso for Florence , match him & she can ; Come cousin .

Step.

I le follow you . Le. iu. Follow me ? you must go before .

Step.

Must I ? nay then I pray you shew me good cousin .

Exeunt .

SCENA TERTIA. Enter Signior Matheo , to him Cob. Mat.

I thinke this be the house : what howgh ?

Cob.

Who 's there ? oh Signior Matheo . God giue you good morrow sir.

Mat.

What ? Cob ? how doest thou good Cob ? doest thou inhabite here Cob ?

Cob.

I sir , I and my lineage haue kept a poore house in our daies .

Mat.

Thy lineage monsieur Cob ? what lineage , what lineage ?

Cob.

Why sir , an ancient lineage , and a princely : mine ancetrie came from a kings loynes , no worse man ; and yet no man neither , but Herring the king of fish , one of the monarches of the world I assure you . I doe fetch my pedegree and name from the first redde herring that was eaten in Adam , & Eues kitchin : his Cob was my great , great , mighty great grandfather .

Mat.

Why mightie ? why mightie ?

Cob.

Oh it s a mightie while agoe sir , and it was a mightie great Cob.

Mat.

How knowest thou that ?

Cob.

How know I ? why his ghost comes to me euery night .

Mat.

Oh vnsauorie iest : the ghost of a herring Cob.

Cob.

I , why not the ghost of a herring Cob , as well as the ghost of Rashero Baccono , they were both broild on the coales : you are a scholler , vpsolue me that now .

Mat.

Oh rude ignorance . Cob canst thou shew me , of a gentleman , one Signior Bobadilla , where his lodging is ?

Cob.

Oh my guest sir , you meane ?

Mat.

Thy guest , alas ? ha , ha .

Cob.

Why do you laugh sir ? do you not meane signior Bobadilla ?

Mat.

Cob I pray thee aduise thy selfe well : do not wrong the gentleman , and thy selfe too . I dare be sworne hee scornes thy house hee . He lodge in such a base obscure place as thy house ? Tut , I know his disposition so well , he would not lie in thy bed if call 't giue it him .

Cob.

I will not giue it him . Masse I thought ( somewhat was in it ) we could not get him to bed all night . Well sir , though he lie not on my bed , he lies on my bench , and 't please you to go vp sir , you shall find him with two cushions vnder his head , and his cloake wrapt about him , as though he had neither won nor lost , and yet I warrant hee ne're cast better in his life then hee hath done to night .

Mat.

Why was he drunke ?

Cob.

Drunk sir ? you heare not me say so ; perhaps he swallow'd a tauerne token , or some such deuise sir ; I haue nothing to doe withal : I deale with water and not with wine . Giue me my tankard there , ho. God be with you sir , it s sixe a clocke : I should haue caried two turnes by this , what ho ? my stopple come .

Mat.

Lie in a waterbearers house , a gentleman of his note ? well i le tell him my mind .

Exit . Cob.

What Tib , shew this gentleman vp to Signior Bobadilla : oh and my house were the Brazen head now , faith it would eene crie moe fooles yet : you should haue some now , would take him to be a gentleman at the least ; alas God helpe the simple , his father 's an honest man , a good fishmonger , and so forth : and now doth he creep and wriggle into acquaintance with all the braue gallants about the towne , such as my guest is , ( oh my guest is a fine man ) and they flout him inuinciblie . He vseth euery day to a Marchants house ( where I serue water ) one M. Thorellos ; and here 's the iest , he is in loue with my masters sister , and cals her mistres : and there he sits a whole afternoone sometimes , reading of these same abhominable , vile , ( a poxe on them , I cannot abide them ) rascally verses , Poetrie , poetrie , and speaking of Enterludes , t' will make a man burst to heare him : and the wenches , they doe so geere and time at him ; well , should they do as much to me , I ld forsweare them all , by the life of Pharoah , there 's an oath : how many waterbearers shall you heare sweare such an oath ? oh I haue a guest ( he teacheth me ) he doth sweare the best of any man christned : By Phoebus , By the life of Pharaoh , By the body of me , As I am gentleman , and a soldier : such daintie oathes ; & withall he doth take this same filthie roaguish Tabacco the finest , and cleanliest ; it wold do a man good to see the fume come forth at his nostrils : well , he owes me fortie shillings ( my wife lent him out of her purse ; by sixpence a time ) besides his lodging ; I would I had it : I shall haue it he saith next Action . , hang sorrow , care will kill a cat , vptailes all , and a poxe on the hangman .

Exit .

Bobadilla discouers himselfe : on a bench ; to him Tib.

Bob.

Hostesse , hostesse .

Tib.

What say you sir ?

Bob.

A cup of your small beere sweet hostesse .

Tib.

Sir , ther 's a gentleman below would speake with you .

Bob.

A gentleman , ( Gods so ) I am not within .

Tib.

My husband told him you were sir.

Bob.

What ha plague ? what meant he ?

Mat.

Signior Bobadilla .

Matheo within . Bob.

Who 's there ? ( take away the bason good hostesse ) come vp sir.

Tib.

He would desire you to come vp sir ; you come into a cleanly house here .

Mat.

God saue you sir , God saue you .

Enter Matheo . Bob.

Signior Matheo , is 't you sir ? please you sit downe .

Mat.

I thanke you good Signior , you may see , I am somewhat audacious .

Bob.

Not so Signior , I was requested to supper yesternight by a sort of gallants where you were wisht for , and drunke to I assure you .

Mat.

Vouchsafe me by whom good Signior .

Bob.

Marrie by Signior Prospero , and others , why hostesse , a stoole here for this gentleman .

Mat.

No haste sir , it is very well .

Bob.

Bodie of me , it was so late ere we parted last night , I can scarse open mine eyes yet ; I was but new risen as you came : how passes the day abroad sir ? you can tell .

Mat.

Faith some halfe houre to seuen : now trust me you haue an exceeding fine lodging here , very neat , and priuate .

Bob.

I sir , sit downe I pray you : Signior Matheo ( in any case ) possesse no gentlemen of your acquaintance with notice of my lodging .

Mat.

Who I sir ? no.

Bob.

Not that I neede to care who know it , but in regard I would not be so popular and generall , as some be .

Mat.

True Signior , I conceiue you .

Bob.

For do you see sir , by the hart of my selfe ( except it be to some peculiar and choice spirits , to whom I am extraordinarily ingag'd , as your selfe , or so ) I would not extend thus farre .

Mat.

O Lord sir I resolue so .

Bob.

What new booke haue you there ? what ? Go by Hieronimo .

Mat.

I , did you euer see it acted ? is 't not well pend ?

Bob.

Well pend : I would faine see all the Poets of our time pen such another play as that was ; they I prate and swagger , and keepe a stirre of arte and deuises , when ( by Gods so ) they are the most shallow pittifull fellowes that liue vpon the face of the earth againe .

Mat.

Indeede , here are a number of fine speeches in this booke : Oh eyes , no eyes but fountaines fraught with teares ; there 's a conceit : Fountaines fraught with teares . Oh life , no life , but liuely forme of death : is 't not excellent ? Oh world , no world , but masse of publique wrongs ; O Gods mee : confusde and fild with murther and misdeeds . Is 't not simply the best that euer you heard ? Ha , how do you like it ?

Bob.

T is good .

Mat. To thee the purest obiect to my sence , The most refined essence heauen couers , Send I these lines , wherein I do commence The happie state of true deseruing louers . If they proue rough , vnpolish't , harsh and rude , Haste made that waste ; thus mildly I conclude . Bob.

Nay proceed , proceed , where 's this ? where 's this ?

Mat.

This sir , a toy of mine owne in my nonage : but when will you come and see my studie ? good faith I can shew you some verie good thinges I haue done of late : that boote becomes your legge passing well sir , me thinks .

Bob.

So , so , it 's a fashion gentlemen vse .

Mat.

Masse sir , and now you speake of the fashion , Signior Prosperos elder brother and I are fallen out exceedingly : this other day I hapned to enter into some discourse of a hanger , which I assure you , both for fashion & workmanship was most beautifull and gentlemanlike ; yet hee condemned it for the most pide and ridiculous that euer he saw .

Bob.

Signior Giuliano , was it not ? the elder brother ?

Mat.

I sir , he .

Bob.

Hang him Rooke he ? why he has no more iudgement then a malt horse . By S. George , I hold him the most peremptorie absurd clowne ( one a them ) in Christendome : I protest to you ( as I am a gentleman and a soldier ) I ne're talk't with the like of him : he ha's not so much as a good word in his bellie , all iron , iron , a good commoditie for a smith to make hobnailes on .

Mat.

I , and he thinkes to carrie it away with his manhood still where he comes : he brags he will giue mee the bastinado , as I heare .

Bob.

How , the bastinado ? how came he by that word trow ?

Mat.

Nay indeed he said cudgill me ; I tearmd it so for the more grace .

Bob.

That may bee , for I was sure it was none of his word : but when , when said he so ?

Mat.

Faith yesterday they say , a young gallant a friend of mine told me so .

Bob.

By the life of Pharaoh , and 't were my case nowe , I should send him a challenge presently : the bastinado ? come hither , you shall challenge him ; i le shew you a tricke or two , you shall kill him at pleasure , the first stockado if you will , by this ayre .

Mat.

Indeed you haue absolute knowledge in the mistery , I haue heard sir.

Bob.

Of whom ? of whom I pray ?

Mat.

Faith I haue heard it spoken of diuers , that you haue verie rare skill sir.

Bob.

By heauen , no , not I , no skill in the earth : some small science , know my time , distance , or so , I haue profest it more for noblemen and gentlemens vse , then mine owne practise I assure you . Hostesse , lend vs another bedstaffe here quickly : looke you sir , exalt not your point aboue this state at any hand , and let your poyneard maintaine your defence thus : giue it the gentleman . So sir , come on , oh twine your bodie more about , that you may come to a more sweet comely gentleman-like guard ; so indifferent . Hollow your bodie more sir , thus : now stand fast on your left leg , note your distance , keep your due proportion of time : oh you disorder your point most vilely .

Mat.

How is the bearing of it now sir ?

Bob.

Oh out of measure ill , a well experienced man would passe vpon you at pleasure .

Mat.

How meane you passe vpon me ?

Bob.

Why thus sir ? make a thrust at me ; come in vpon my time ; controll your point , and make a full carriere at the bodie : the best practis'd gentlemen of the time terme it the passado , a most desperate thrust , beleeue it .

Mat.

Well , come sir.

Bob.

Why you do not manage your weapons with that facilitie and grace that you should doe , I haue no spirit to play with you , your dearth of iudgement makes you seeme tedious .

Mat.

But one very sir.

Bob.

Fie veney , most grosse denomination , as euer I heard : oh the stockado while you liue Signior , note that . Come put on your cloake , and wee le go to some priuate place where you are acquainted , some tauerne or so , & wee le send for one of these fencers , where he shall breath you at my direction , and then i le teach you that tricke , you shall kill him with it at the first if you please : why i le learne you by the true iudgement of the eye , hand and foot , to controll any mans point in the world ; Should your aduersary confront you with a pistoll , t' were nothing , you should ( by the same rule ) controll the bullet , most certaine by Phoebus : vnles it were haile-shot : what mony haue you about you sir ?

Mat.

Faith I haue not past two shillings , or so .

Bob.

T is somewhat with the least , but come , when we haue done , wee le call vp Signior Prospero ; perhaps we shal meet with Coridon his brother there .

Exeunt .

SCENA QVARTA . Enter Thorello , Giuliano , Piso. Tho.

Piso , come hither : there lies a note within vpon my deske ; here take my key : it 's no matter neither , where 's the boy ?

Piso.

Within sir , in the warehouse .

Thor.

Let him tell ouer that Spanish gold , and weigh it , and do you see the deliuerie of those wares to Signior Bentiuole : I le be there my selfe at the receipt of the money anon .

Piso.

Verie good sir.

Exit Piso. Tho.

Brother , did you see that same fellow there ?

Giu.

I , what of him ?

Tho.

He is e'ene the honestest faithfull seruant , that is this day in Florence ; ( I speake a proud word now ) and one that I durst trust my life into his hands , I haue so strong opinion of his loue , if need were .

Giu.

God send me neuer such need : but you said you had somewhat to tell me , what is 't ?

Tho. Faith brother , I am loath to vtter it , As fearing to abuse your patience , But that I know your iudgement more direct , Able to sway the nearest of affection . Giu. Come , come , what needs this circumstance ? Tho. I will not say what honor I ascribe Vnto your friendship , nor in what deare state I hold your loue ; let my continued zeale , The constant and religious regard , That I haue euer caried to your name , My cariage with your sister , all contest , How much I stand affected to your house . Giu.

You are too tedious , come to the matter , come to the matter .

Tho. Then ( without further ceremony ) thus . My brother Prospero ( I know not how ) Of late is much declin'd from what he was , And greatly alterd in his disposition . When he came first to lodge here in my house , Ne're trust me , if I was not proud of him : Me thought he bare himselfe with such obseruance , So true election and so faire a forme : And ( what was chiefe ) it shewd not borrowed in him , But all he did became him as his owne , And seemd as perfect , proper , and innate , Vnto the mind , as collor to the blood , But now , his course is so irregular , So loose affected , and depriu'd of grace . And he himselfe withall so farre falne off From his first place , that scarse no note remaines , To tell mens iudgements where he lately stood ; Hee 's growne a stranger to all due respect , Forgetfull of his friends , and not content To stale himselfe in all societies , He makes my house as common as a Mart , A Theater , a publike receptacle For giddie humor , and diseased riot , And there , ( as in a Tauerne , or a stewes , ) He , and his wilde associates , spend their houres , In repetition of lasciuious iests , Sweare , leape , and dance , and reuell night by night , Controll my seruants : and indeed what not ? Giu.

Faith I know not what I should say to him : so God saue mee , I am eene at my wits end , I haue tolde him inough , one would thinke , if that would serue : well , he knowes what to trust to for me : let him spend , and spend , and domineere till his hart ake : & he get a peny more of me , I le giue him this eare .

Tho.

Nay good Brother haue patience .

Giu. S'blood , he mads me , I could eate my very flesh for anger : I marle you will not tell him of it , how he disquiets your house . Tho. O there are diūers reasons to disswade me , But would your selfe vouchsafe to trauaile in it , ( Though but with plaine , and easie circumstance , ) It would , both come much better to his sence , And sauor lesse of griefe and discontent . You are his elder brother , and that title Confirmes and warrants your authoritie : Which ( seconded by your aspect ) will breed A kinde of duty in him , and regard . Whereas , if I should intimate the least , It would but adde contempt , to his neglect , Heape worse on ill , reare a huge pile of hate , That in the building , would come tottring downe , And in her ruines , bury all our loue . Nay more then this brother ; ( if I should speake ) He would be ready in the heate of passion , To fill the eares of his familiars , With oft reporting to them , what disgrace And grosse disparagement , I had propos'd him . And then would they straight back him , in opinion , Make some loose comment vpon euery word , And out of their distracted phantasies ; Contriue some slander , that should dwell with me . And what would that be thinke you ? mary this , They would giue out , ( because my wife is fayre , My selfe but lately married , and my sister Heere soiourning a virgin in my house ) That I were iealous : nay , as sure as death , Thus they would say : and how that I had wrongd My brother purposely , thereby to finde An apt pretext to banish them my house . Giu. Masse perhaps so . Tho. Brother they would beleeue it : so should I ( Like one of these penurious quack-slaluers , ) But trie experiments vpon my selfe , Open the gates vnto mine owne disgrace , Lend bare-ribd enuie , oportunitie . To stab my reputation , and good name . Enter Boba . and Matheo . Mat.

I will speake to him .

Bob.

Speake to him ? away , by the life of Pharoah you shall not , you shall not do him that grace : the time of daye to you Gentleman : is Signior Prospero stirring ?

Giu.

How then ? what should he doe ?

Bob.

Signior Thorello , is he within sir ?

Tho.

He came not to his lodging to night sir , I assure you .

Giu.

Why do you heare ? you .

Bob.

This gentleman hath satisfied me , I le talke to no Scauenger .

Giu.

How Scauenger ? stay sir stay .

Exeunt . Tho.

Nay Brother Giuliano .

Giu.

S'blood stand you away , and you loue me .

Tho.

You shall not follow him now I pray you , Good faith you shall not .

Giu.

Ha ? Scauenger ? well goe to , I say little , but , by this good day ( God forgiue me I should sweare ) if I put it vp so , say I am the rankest — that euer pist . S'blood and I swallowe this , I le neere drawe my sworde in the sight of man againe while I liue ; I le sit in a Barne with Madge-owlet first , Scauenger ? ' Hart and I le goe neere to fill that huge timbrell slop of yours with somewhat and I haue good lucke , your Garagantua breech cannot carry it away so .

Tho.

Oh do not fret your selfe thus , neuer thinke on 't .

Giu.

These are my brothers consorts these , these are his Cumrades , his walking mates , hee s a gallant , a Caueliero too , right hangman cut , God let me not liue , and I could not finde in my hart to swinge the whole nest of them , one after another , and begin with him first , I am grieu'd it should be said he is my brother , and take these courses , well he shall heare on 't , and that tightly too , and I liue Ifaith .

Tho. But brother , let your apprehension ( then ) Runne in an easie current , not transported With heady rashnes , or deuouring choller , And rather carry a perswading spirit , Whose powers will pearce more gently ; and allure , Th' imperfect thoughts you labour to reclaime , To a more sodaine and resolu'd assent . Giu. I , I , let me alone for that I warrant you . Bell rings . Tho. How now ? oh the bell rings to breakefast . Brother Giuliano , I pray you go in and beare my wife company :

I le but giue order to my seruants for the dispatche of some busines and come to you presently .

Exit Guil. Enter Cob. What Cob ? our maides will haue you by the back ( Ifaith ) For comming so late this morning . Cob.

Perhaps so sir , take heede some body haue not them by the belly for walking so late in the euening .

Exit . Tho. Now ( in good faith ) my minde is somewhat easd , Though not reposd in that securitie , As I could wish ; well , I must be content , How e're I set a face on 't to the world , Would I had lost this finger at a vente , So Prospero had ne're lodg'd in my house , Why 't cannot be , where there is such resort Of wanton gallants , and young reuellers , That any woman should be honest long . I's t like , that factious beauty will preserue The soueraigne state of chastitie vnscard , When such strong motiues muster , and make head Against her single peace ? no , no : beware When mutuall pleasure swayes the appetite , And spirits of one kinde and qualitie , Do meete to parlee in the pride of blood . Well ( to be plaine ) if I but thought , the time Had answer'd their affections : all the world Should not perswade me , but I were a cuckold : Mary I hope they haue not got that start . For opportunity hath balkt them yet , And shall do still , while I haue eyes and eares To attend the imposition of my hart , My presence shall be as an Iron Barre , Twixt the conspiring motions of desire , Yea euery looke or glaunce mine eye obiects , Shall checke occasion , as one doth his slaue , When he forgets the limits of prescription . Enter Biancha , with Hesperida . Bia.

Sister Hesperida , I pray you fetch downe the Rose water aboue in the closet : Sweete hart will you come in to breakfast .

Exit Hesperida . Tho.

And she haue ouer-heard me now ?

Bia.

I pray thee ( good Musse ) we stay for you .

Tho.

By Christ I would not for a thousand crownes .

Bia.

What ayle you sweete hart , are you not well , speake good Musse .

Tho.

Troth my head akes extreamely on a suddaine .

Bia.

Oh Iesu !

Tho.

How now ? what ?

Bia.

Good Lord how it burnes ? Musse keepe you warme , good truth it is this new disease , there 's a number are troubled withall : for Gods sake sweete heart , come in out of the ayre .

Tho. How simple , and how subtill are her answeres ? A new disease , and many troubled with it . Why true , she heard me all the world to nothing . Bia.

I pray thee good sweet heart come in ; the ayre will do you harme in troth .

Tho. I le come to you presently , it will away I hope . Bia. Pray God it do . Exit . Tho. A new disease ? I know not , new or old . But it may well be call'd poore mortals Plague ; For like a pestilence it doth infect The houses of the braine : first it begins Solely to worke vpon the fantasie , Filling her seat with such pestiferous aire , As soone corrupts the iudgement , and from thence , Sends like contagion to the memorie , Still each of other catching the infection , Which as a searching vapor spreads it selfe Confusedly through euery sensiue part , Till not a thought or motion in the mind Be free from the blacke poison of suspect . Ah , but what error is it to know this , And want the free election of the soule In such extreames ? well , I will once more striue , ( Euen in despight of hell ) my selfe to be , And shake this feauer off that thus shakes me . Exit .

ACTVS SECVNDVS ,

SCENA PRIMA . Enter Musco disguised like a soldier . Musco .

S'blood , I cannot chuse but laugh to see my selfe translated thus , from a poore creature to a creator ; for now must I create an intolerable sort of lies , or else my profession looses his grace , and yet the lie to a man of my coat , is as ominous as the 〈◊〉 oh sir , it holds for good policie to haue that outwardly in vilest estimation , that inwardly is most deare to vs : So much for my borrowed shape . Well , the troth is , my maister intends to follow his sonne drie-foot to Florence , this morning : now I knowing of this conspiracie , and the rather to insinuate with my young master , ( for so must wee that are blew waiters , or men of seruice doe , or else perhaps wee may weare motley at the yeares end , and who weares motley you know : ) I haue got me afore in this disguise , determining here to lie in ambuscado , & intercept him in the midway : If I can but get his cloake , his purse , his hat , nay any thing so I can stay his iourney , Rex Regum , I am made for euer ifaith : well , now must I practise to get the true garbe of one of these Launce-knights : my arme here , and my : Gods so , young master and his cousin .

Enter Lo. iu. and Step. Lo. iu.

So sir , and how then ?

Step.

Gods foot , I haue lost my purse , I thinke .

Lo. iu.

How ? lost your purse ? where ? when had you it ?

Step.

I cannot tell , stay .

Mus.

S'lid I am afeard they will know me , would I could get by them .

Lo. iu.

What ? haue you it ?

Step.

No , I thinke I was bewitcht , I.

Lo. iu.

Nay do not weep , a poxe on it , hang it let it go .

Step.

Oh it 's here , nay and it had beene lost , I had not car'd but for a iet ring Marina sent me .

Lo. iu.

A iet ring ? oh the poesie , the poesie ?

Step.

Fine ifaith : Though fancie sleepe , my loue is deepe : meaning that though I did not fancie her , yet shee loued mee dearely .

Lo. iu.

Most excellent .

Step.

And then I sent her another , and my poesie was ; The deeper the sweeter , I le be iudg'd by Saint Peter .

Lo. iu.

How , by S. Peter ? I do not conceiue that .

Step.

Marrie , S. Peter to make vp the meeter .

Lo. iu.

Well , you are beholding to that Saint ▪ he help't you at your need ; thanke him , thanke him .

Mus.

I will venture , come what will : Gentlemen , please you chaunge a few crownes for a verie excellent good blade here ; I am a poore gentleman , a soldier , one that ( in the better state of my fortunes ) scornd so meane a refuge , but now it s the humour of necessitie to haue it so : you seeme to be gentlemen well affected to martiall men , els I should rather die with silence , then liue with shame : how e're , vouchsafe to remember it is my want speakes , not my selfe : this condition agrees not with my spirit .

Lo. iu.

Where hast thou seru'd ?

Mus.

May it please you Signior , in all the prouinces of Bohemia , Hungaria , Dalmatia , Poland , where not ? I haue beene a poore seruitor by sea and land , any time this xiiij . yeares , and follow'd the fortunes of the best Commaunders in Christendome . I was twise shot at the taking of Aleppo , once at the reliefe of Vienna ; I haue beene at America in the galleyes thrise , where I was most dangerously shot in the head , through both the thighes , and yet being thus maim'd I am voide of maintenance , nothing left me but my scarres , the noted markes of my resolution .

Step.

How will you sell this Rapier friend ?

Mus.

Faith Signior , I referre it to your owne iudgement ; you are a gentleman , giue me what you please .

Step. True , I am a gentleman , I know that ; but what though , I pray you say , what would you aske ? Mus.

I assure you the blade may become the side of the best prince in Europe .

Lo. iu.

I , with a veluet scabberd .

Step.

Nay and 't be mine it shall haue a veluet scabberd , that is flat , I 'de not weare it as'tis and you would giue me an angell .

Mus.

At your pleasure Signior , nay it 's a most pure Toledo .

Step.

I had rather it were a Spaniard : but tell me , what shal I giue you for it ? and it had a siluer hilt —

Lo. iu.

Come , come , you shall not buy it ; holde there 's a shilling friend , take thy Rapier .

Step.

Why but I will buy it now , because you say so : what shall I go without a rapier ?

Lo. iu.

You may buy one in the citie .

Step.

Tut , i le buy this , so I will ; tell me your lowest price .

Lo. iu.

You shall not I say .

Step.

By Gods lid , but I will , though I giue more then 't is worth .

Lo. iu.

Come away , you are a foole .

Step.

Friend , i le haue it for that word : follow me .

Mus.

At your seruice Signior .

Exeunt .

SCENA SECVNDA . Enter Lorenzo senior . Lore . My labouring spirit being late opprest With my sonnes follie , can embrace no rest , Till it hath plotted by aduise and skill , How to reduce him from affected will To reasons manage ; which while I intend , My troubled soule beginnes to apprehend A farther secret , and to meditate Vpon the difference of mans estate : Where is deciphered to true iudgements eye A deep , conceald , and precious misterie . Yet can I not but worthily admire At natures art : who ( when she did inspire This heat of life ) plac'd Reason ( as a king ) Here in the head , to haue the marshalling Of our affections : and with soueraigntie To sway the state of our weake emperie , But as in diuers commonwealthes we see , The forme of gouernment to disagree : Euen so in man who searcheth soone shal find As much or more varietie of mind . Some mens affections like a fullen wife , Is with her husband reason still at strife . Others ( like proud Arch-traitors that rebell Against their soueraigne ) practise to expell Their liege Lord Reason , and not shame to tread Vpon his holy and annointed head . But as that land or nation best doth thriue , Which to smooth-fronted peace is most procliue , So doth that mind , whose faire affections rang'd By reasons rules , stand constant and vnchang'd , Els , if the power of reason be not such , Why do we attribute to him so much ? Or why are we obsequious to his law , If he want spirit our affects to awe ? Oh no , I argue weakly , he is strong , Enter Musco . Albeit my sonne haue done him too much wrong . Mus.

My master : nay faith haue at you : I am flesht now I haue sped so well : Gentleman , I beseech you respect the estate of a poor soldier ; I am asham'd of this base course of life ( God's my comfort ) but extremitie prouokes me to 't , what remedie ?

Loren.

I haue not for you now .

Mus.

By the faith I beare vnto God , gentleman , it is no ordinarie custome , but onely to preserue manhood . I protest to you , a man I haue bin , a man I may be , by your sweet bountie .

Lor.

I pray thee good friend be satisfied .

Mus.

Good Signior : by Iesu you may do the part of a kind gentleman , in lending a poore soldier the price of two cans of beere , a matter of small value , the King of heauen shall pay you , and I shall rest thankfull : sweet Signior .

Loren.

Nay and you be so importunate —

Mus.

Oh Lord sir , need wil haue his course : I was not made to this vile vse ; well , the edge of the enemie could not haue abated me so much : it 's hard when a man hath serued in his Princes cause and be thus . Signior , let me deriue a small peece of siluer from you , it shall not be giuen in the course of time , by this good ground , I was faine to pawne my rapier last night for a poore supper , I am a Pagan els : sweet Signior .

Loren. Beleeue me I am rapte with admiration , To thinke a man of thy exterior presence , Should ( in the constitution of the mind ) Be so degenerate , infirme , and base . Art thou a man ? and sham'st thou not to beg ? To practise such a seruile kinde of life ? Why were thy education ne're so meane , Hauing thy limbes : a thousand fairer courses Offer themselues to thy election . Nay there the warres might still supply thy wants , Or seruice of some vertuous Gentleman , Or honest labour ; nay what can I name , But would become thee better then to beg ? But men of your condition feede on sloth , As doth the Scarabe on the dung she breeds in , Not caring how the temper of your spirits Is eaten with the rust of idlenesse . Now afore God , what e're he be , that should Releeue a person of thy qualitie , While you insist in this loose desperate course , I would esteeme the sinne not thine but his . Mus.

Faith signior , I would gladly finde some other course if so .

Loren.

I , you 'ld gladly finde it , but you will not seeke it .

Mus.

Alasse sir , where should a man seeke ? in the warres , there 's no assent by desart in these dayes , but : and for seruice would it were as soone purchast as wisht for ( Gods my comfort ) I know what I would say .

Loren.

What s thy name .

Mus.

Please you : Portensio .

Loren. Portensio ? Say that a man should entertaine thee now , Would thou be honest , humble , iust and true . Mus.

Signior : by the place and honor of a souldier .

Loren.

Nay , nay , I like not these affected othes ; Speake plainly man : what thinkst thou of my words ?

Mus.

Nothing signior , but wish my fortunes were as happy as my seruice should be honest .

Loren.

Well follow me , i le prooue thee , if thy deedes Will cary a proportion to thy words .

Exit Lor. Mus.

Yes sir straight , i le but garter my hose ; oh that my bellie were hoopt now , for I am readie to burst with laughing . S'lid , was there euer seene a foxe in yeares to betray himselfe thus ? now shall I be possest of all his determinations , and consequently and my young master well hee is resolu'd to proue my honestie : faith and I am resolued to proue his patience : oh I shall abuse him intollerablie : this small peece of seruice will bring him cleane out of loue with the soldier for euer . It 's no matter , let the world thinke me a bad counterfeit , if I cannot giue him the slip at an instant : why this is better then to haue staid his iourney by halfe , well i le follow him ; oh how I long to be imployed .

Exit .

SCENA TERTIA. Enter Prospero , Bobadilla , and Matheo . Mat.

Yes faith sir , we were at your lodging to seeke you too .

Pros.

Oh I came not there to night .

Bob.

Your brother deliuered vs as much .

Pros.

Who Giuliano ?

Bob.

Ciuliano ▪ Signior Prospero , I know not in what kinde you value me , but let me tell you this : as sure as God I do hold it so much out of mine honor & reputation , if I should but cast the least regard vpon such a dunghill of flesh ; I protest to you ( as I haue a soule to bee saued ) I ne're saw any gentlemanlike part in him : and there were no more men liuing vpon the face of the earth , I should not fancie him by Phoebus .

Mat.

Troth nor I , he is of a rusticall cut , I know not how : he doth not carrie himselfe like a gentleman .

Pros.

Oh Signior Matheo , that 's a grace peculiar but to a few ; quos aequus amauit Iupiter .

Mat.

I vnderstand you sir.

Enter Lorenzo iunior , and Step. Pros.

No question you do sir : Lorenzo ; now on my soule welcome ; how doest thou sweet raskall ? my Genius ? S'blood I shal loue Apollo , & the mad Thespian girles the better while I ●ue for this ; my deare villaine , now I see there 's some spirit in thee : Sirra these be they two I writ to thee of , nay what a drowsie humor is this now ? why doest thou not speake ?

Lo. Iu.

Oh you are a fine gallant , you sent me a rare letter .

Pros.

Why was 't not rare ?

Lo. Iu.

Yes i le be sworne I was ne're guiltie of reading the like , match it in all Plinies familiar Epistles , and i le haue my iudgement burnd in the eare for a rogue , make much of thy vaine , for it is inimitable . But I marle what Camell it was , that had the cariage of it ? for doubtlesse he was no ordinarie beast that brought it .

Pros.

Why ?

Lo. Iu.

Why sayest thou ? why doest thou thinke that any reasonable creature , especially in the morning , ( the sober time of the day too ) would haue taine my father for me ?

Pros.

S'blood you iest I hope ?

Lo. Iu.

Indeed the best vse we can turne it too , is to make a iest on 't now : but i le assure you , my father had the prouing of your copy , some howre before I saw it .

Pros.

What a dull slaue was this ? But sirrah what sayd he to it yfaith ?

Lo. Iu.

Nay I know not what he said . But I haue a shrewd gesse what he thought .

Pro.

What ? what ?

Lo. Iu.

Mary that thou are a damn'd dissolute villaine , And I some graine or two better , in keeping thee company .

Pros.

Tut that thought is like the Moone in the last quarter , t will change shortly : but sirrha , I pray thee be acquainted with my two Zanies heere , thou wilt take exceeding pleasure in them if thou hearst them once , but what strange peece of silence is this ? the signe of the dumbe man ?

Lo. Iu.

Oh sir a kinsman of mine , one that may make our Musique the fuller and he please , he hath his humor sir.

Pros.

Oh what is t ? what is t ?

Lo. Iu.

Nay : i le neyther do thy iudgement , nor his folly that wrong , as to prepare thy apprehension : i le leaue him to the mercy of the time , if you can take him : so .

Pros.

Well signior Bobadilla : signior Matheo : I pray you know this Gentleman here , he is a friend of mine , & one that will wel deserue your affection , I know not your name signior , but I shal be glad of any good occasion , to be more familiar with you .

Step.

My name is signior Stephano , sir , I am this Gentlemans cousin , sir his father is mine vnckle ; sir , I am somewhat melancholie , but you shall commaund me sir , in whatsoeuer is incident to a Gentleman .

Bob.

Signior , I must tell you this , I am no generall man , embrace it as a most high fauour , for ( by the host of Egypt ) but that I conceiue you , to be a Gentleman of some parts , I loue few words : you haue wit : imagine .

Step.

I truely sir , I am mightily giuen to melancholy .

Mat.

Oh Lord sir , it 's your only best humor sir , your true melancholy , breedes your perfect fine wit sir : I am melancholie my selfe diuers times sir , and then do I no more but take your pen and paper presently , and write you your halfe score or your dozen of sonnets at a sitting .

Lo. iu.

Masse then he vtters them by the grosse .

Step.

Truely sir and I loue such things out of measure .

Lo. iu.

I faith , as well as in measure .

Mat.

Why I pray you signior , make vse of my studie , it 's at your seruice .

Step.

I thanke you sir , I shal be bolde I warrant you , haue you a close stoole there ?

Mat.

Faith sir , I haue some papers there , toyes of mine owne doing at idle houres , that you 'le say there 's some sparkes of wit in them , when you shall see them .

Prosp.

Would they were kindled once , and a good fire made , I might see selfe loue burnd for her heresie .

Step.

Cousin , is it well ? am I melancholie inough ?

Lo. iu.

Oh I , excellent .

Prosp.

Signior Bobadilla ? why muse you so ?

Lo. iu.

He is melancholy too .

Bob.

Faith sir , I was thinking of a most honorable piece of seruice was perform'd to morow ; being S Marks day : shal be some ten years .

Lo. iu.

In what place was that seruice , I pray you sir ?

Bob.

Why at the beleagring of Ghibelletto , where , in lesse then two houres , seuen hundred resolute gentlemen , as any were in Europe , lost their liues vpon the breach : I le tell you gentlemen , it was the first , but the best leaug●● that euer I beheld with these eyes , except the taking in of Tortosa last yeer by the Genowayes , but that ( of all other ) was the most fatall & dangerous exploit , that euer I was rang'd in , since I first bore armes before the face of the enemy , as I am a gentleman and a souldier .

Step.

So , I had as liefe as an angell I could sweare as well as that gentleman .

Lo. iu.

Then you were a seruitor at both it seemes .

Bob.

Oh Lord sir : by Phaeton I was the first man that entred the breach , and had I not effected it with resolution , I had bene slaine if I had had a million of liues .

Lo. iu.

Indeed sir ?

Step.

Nay & you heard him discourse you would say so : how like you him ?

Bob.

I assure you ( vpon my saluation ) 't is true , and your selfe shall confesse .

Prosp.

You must bring him to the racke first .

Bob.

Obserue me iudicially sweet signior : they had planted me a demy culuering , iust in the mouth of the breach ; now sir ( as we were to ascend ) their master gunner ( a man of no meane skill and courage , you must thinke ) confronts me with his Linstock ready to giue fire ; I spying his intendement , discharg'd my Petrinell in his bosome , and with this instrument my poore Rapier , ran violently vpon the Moores that guarded the ordinance , and put them pell-mell to the sword .

Pros.

To the sword ? to the Rapier signior .

Lo. iu.

Oh it was a good figure obseru'd sir : but did you all this signior without hurting your blade .

Bob.

Without any impeach on the earth : you shall perceiue sir , it is the most fortunate weapon , that euer rid on a poore gentlemans thigh : shall I tell you sir , you talke of Mor● glay , Excaliber , Durindana , or so : tut , I lend no credit to that is reported of them , I know the vertue of mine owne , and therefore I dare the boldlier maintaine it .

Step.

I marle whether it be a Toledo or no ?

Bob.

A most perfect Toledo , I assure you signior .

Step.

I haue a countriman of his here .

Mas.

Pray you let 's see sir : yes faith it is .

Bob.

This a Toledo ? pisse .

Step.

Why do you pish signior ?

Bob.

A Fleming by Phoebus , i le buy them for a guilder a peece and i le haue a thousand of them .

Lo. iu.

How say you cousin , I told you thus much .

Pros.

Where bought you it signior ?

Step.

Of a scuruy rogue Souldier , a pox of God on him , he swore it was a Toledo .

Bob.

A prouant Rapier , no better .

Mat.

Masse I thinke it be indeed .

Lo. iu.

Tut now it 's too late to looke on it , put it vp , put it vp .

Step.

Well I will not put it vp , but by Gods foote , and ere I meete him —

Pros.

Oh it is past remedie now sir , you must haue patience .

Step.

Horson conny-catching Raskall ; oh I could eate the very hilts for anger .

Lo. iu.

A signe you haue a good Ostrich stomack Cousin .

Step.

A stomack ? would I had him here , you should see and I had a stomacke .

Pros.

It 's better as 't is : come gentlemen shall we goe ?

Enter Musce . Lo. iu.

A miracle cousin , looke here , looke here .

Step.

Oh , Gods lid , by your leaue , do you know me sir.

Mus.

I sir , I know you by sight .

Step.

You sold me a Rapier , did you not ?

Mus.

Yes marry did I sir.

Step.

You said it was a Toledo ha ?

Mus.

True I did so .

Step.

But it is none .

Mus.

No sir , I confesse it , it is none .

Step.

Gentlemen beare witnesse , he has confest it . By Gods lid , and you had not confest it —

Lo. iu.

Oh cousin , forbeare , forbeare .

Step.

Nay I haue done cousin .

Pros.

Why you haue done like a Gentleman , he ha's confest it , what would you more ?

Lo. iu.

Sirra how doost thou like him .

Pros.

Oh it s a pretious good foole , make much on him : I can compare him to nothing more happely , then a Barbers virginals ; for euery one may play vpon him .

Mus.

Gentleman , shall I intreat a word with you ?

Lo. iu.

With all my heart sir , you haue not another Toledo to sell , haue yee ?

Mus.

You are pleasant , your name is signior Lorenzo as I take it .

Lo. iu.

You are in the right : S'bloud he meanes to catechize me I thinke .

Mus.

No sir , I leaue that to the Curate , I am none of that coate .

Lo. iu.

And yet of as bare a coate ; well , say sir.

Mus.

Faith signior , I am but seruant to God Mars extraordinarie , and indeed ( this brasse varnish being washt off , and three or foure other tricks sublated ) I appeare yours in reuersion , after the decease of your good father , Musco .

Lo. iu.

Musco , s'bloud what winde hath blowne thee hither in this shape .

Mus.

Your Easterly winde sir , the same that blew your father hither .

Lo. iu.

My father ?

Mus.

Nay neuer start , it 's true , he is come to towne of purpose to seeke you .

Lo. iu.

Sirra Prospero : what shall we do sirra , my father is come to the city .

Pros.

Thy father : where is he ?

Mus.

At a Gentlemans house yonder by Saint Anthonies , where he but stayes my returne ; and then —

Pros.

Who 's this ? Musco ?

Mus.

The same sir.

Pros.

Why how comst thou trans-muted thus ?

Mus.

Faith a deuise , a deuise , nay for the loue of God , stand not here Gentlemen , house your selues and i le tell you all .

Lo. iu.

But art thou sure he will stay thy returne ?

Mus.

Do I liue sir ? what a question is that ?

Pros.

Well wee 'le prorogue his expectation a little : Musco thou shalt go with vs : Come on Gentlemen : nay I pray thee ( good raskall ) droope not , s'hart and our wits be so gowty , that one old plodding braine can out-strip vs all , Lord I beseech thee , may they lie and starue in some miserable spittle , where they may neuer see the face of any true spirit againe , but bee perpetually haunted with some church-yard Hobgoblin in seculo seculorum .

Mus.

Amen , Amen .

Exeunt .

ACTVS TERTIVS .

SCENA PRIMA . Enter Thorello , and Piso. Pis.

He will expect you sir within this halfe houre .

Tho.

Why what 's a clocke ?

Pis.

New striken ten .

Tho.

Hath he the money ready , can you tell ?

Pis.

Yes sir , Baptista brought it yesternight .

Tho. Oh that 's well : fetch me my cloake . Exit Piso. Stay , let me see ; an hower to goe and come , I that will be the least : and then 't will be An houre , before I can dispatch with him ; Or very neare : well , I will say two houres ; Two houres ? ha ? things neuer drempt of yet May be contriu'd , I and effected too , In two houres absence : well I will not go . Two houres ; no fleeting opportunity I will not giue your trecherie that scope . Who will not iudge him worthy to be robd , That sets his doores wide open to a theefe , And shewes the felon , where his treasure lyes ? Againe , what earthy spirit but will attempt To taste the fruite of beauties golden tree , When leaden sleepe seales vp the dragons eyes ? Oh beauty is a Proiect of some power , Chiefely when oportunitie attends her : She will infuse true motion in a stone , Put glowing fire in an Icie soule , Stuffe peasants bosoms with proud Caesars spleene , Powre rich deuice into an empty braine : Bring youth to follies gate : there traine him in , And after all , extenuate his sinne . Well , I will not go , I am resolu'd for that . Goe cary it againe , yet stay : yet do too , I will deferre it till some other time . Enter Piso. Piso.

Sir , signior Platano wil meet you there with the bond .

Tho. That 's true : by Iesu I had cleane forgot it . I must goe , what 's a clocke ? Pis.

Past ten sir.

Tho. 'Hart , then will Prospero presently be here too , With one or other of his loose consorts . I am a Iew , if I know what to say , What course to take , or which way to resolue . My braine ( me thinkes ) is like an hower-glasse , And my imaginations like the sands , Runne dribling foorth to fill the mouth of time , Still chaung'd with turning in the ventricle . What were I best to doe ? it shal be so . Nay I dare build vpon his secrecie ? Piso. Piso.

Sir .

Tho.

Yet now I haue bethought me to , I wil not . Is Cob within ?

Pis.

I thinke he be sir.

Tho. But hee 'le prate too , there 's no talke of him . No , there were no course vpon the earth to this , If I durst trust him ; tut I were secure , But there 's the question now , if he should prooue , Rimarum plenus , then , s'blood I were Rooke . The state that he hath stood in till this present ▪ Doth promise no such change ▪ what should I feare then ? Well , come what will , i le tempt my fortune once . Piso , thou mayest deceiue mee , but I thinke thou louest mee Piso. Piso.

Sir , if a seruants zeale and humble duetie may bee term'd loue , you are possest of it .

Tho.

I haue a matter to impart to thee , but thou must be secret , Piso.

Pis.

Sir for that —

Tho. Nay heare me man ; thinke I esteeme thee well , To let thee in thus to my priuate thoughts ; Piso , it is a thing , sits neerer to my crest , Then thou art ware of : if thou shouldst reueale it — Pis.

Reueale it sir ?

Tho.

Nay , I do not think thou wouldst , but if thou shouldst :

Pis.

Sir , then I were a villaine : Disclaime in me for euer if I do .

Tho. He will not sweare : he has some meaning sure , Else ( being vrg'd so much ) how should he choose , But lend an oath to all this protestation ? He is no puritane , that I am certaine of . What should I thinke of it ? vrge him againe , And in some other forme : I will do so . Well Piso , thou hast sworne not to disclose ; I you did sweare ? Pis.

Not yet sir , but I will , so please you .

Tho. Nay I dare take thy word . But if thou wilt sweare ; do as you thinke good , I am resolu'd without such circumstance . Pis. By my soules safetie sir I here protest , My tongue shall ne're take knowledge of a word Deliuer'd me in compasse of your trust . Tho. Enough , enough , these ceremonies need not , I know thy faith to be as firme as brasse . Piso come hither : nay we must be close In managing these actions : So it is , ( Now he ha's sworne I dare the safelier speake ; ) I haue of late by diuers obseruations — But , whether his oath be lawfull yea , or no , ha ? I will aske counsel ere I do proceed : Piso , it will be now too long to stay , Wee 'le spie some fitter time soone , or to morrow . Pis.

At your pleasure sir.

Tho.

I pray you search the bookes gainst I returne For the receipts twixt me and Platano .

Pis.

I will sir.

Tho.

And heare you : if my brother Prospero Chance to bring hither any gentlemen Ere I come backe : let one straight bring me word .

Pis.

Very well sir.

Tho.

Forget it not , nor be not you out of the way .

Pis.

I will not sir.

Tho.

Or whether he come or no , if any other , Stranger or els ? faile not to send me word .

Pis.

Yes sir.

Tho.

Haue care I pray you and remember it .

Pis.

I warrant you sir.

Tho.

But Piso , this is not the secret I told thee of .

Pis.

No sir , I suppose so .

Tho.

Nay beleeue me it is not .

Pis.

I do beleeue you sir.

Tho.

By heauen it is not , that 's enough . Marrie , I would not thou shouldst vtter it to any creature liuing . Yet I care not .

Well , I must hence : Piso conceiue thus much , No ordinarie person could haue drawne So deepe a secret from me ; I meane not this , But that I haue to tell thee : this is nothing , this . Piso , remember , silence , buried here : No greater hell then to be slaue to feare . Exit Tho. Piso. Piso , remember , silence , buried here : Whence should this flow of passion ( trow ) take head ? ha ? Faith i le dreame no longer of this running humor . For feare I sinke , the violence of the streame Alreadie hath transported me so farre , That I can feele no ground at all : but soft , Enter Cob. Oh it 's our water bearer : somewhat ha's crost him now . Cob.

Fasting dayes : what tell you me of your fasting dayes ▪ would they were all on a light fire for mee : they say the world shall be consum'd with fire and brimstone in the latter day : but I would we had these ember weekes , and these villanous fridaies burnt in the meane time , and then —

Pis.

Why how now Cob , what moues thee to this choller ? ha ?

Cob.

Coller fire swounds I scorne your coller , I sir am no colliers horse sir , neuer ride me with your coller , and you doe , i le shew you a iades tricke .

Pis.

Oh you 'le slip your head out of the coller : why Cob you mistake me .

Cob.

Nay I haue my rewme , and I be angrie as well as another , sir.

Pis.

Thy rewme ; thy humor man , thou mistakest .

Cob.

Humor ? macke , I thinke it bee so indeed : what is this humor ? it's some rare thing I warrant .

Piso.

Marrie i le tell thee what it is ( as t is generally receiued in these daies ) it is a monster bred in a man by selfe loue , and affectation , and fed by folly .

Cob.

How ? must it be fed ?

Pis.

Oh I , humor is nothing if it be not fed , why , didst thou neuer heare of that ? it's a common phrase , Feed my humor .

Cob.

I le none on it : humor , auaunt , I know you not , be gon . Let who will make hungry meales for you , it shall not bee I : Feed you quoth he ? s'blood I haue much adoe to feed my self , especially on these 〈…〉 daies too , and 't had beene any other day but a fasting day : a plague on them all for mee : by this light one might haue done God good seruice and haue drown'd them al in the floud two or three hundred thousand yeares ago , oh I do stomacke them hugely : I haue a mawe now , and 't were for Sir Be●isses horse .

Pis.

Nay , but I pray thee Cob , what makes thee so out of loue with fasting daies ?

Cob.

Marrie that , that will make any man out of loue with them , I thinke : their bad conditions and you wil needs know : First , they are of a Flemmish breed I am sure on 't , for they raūe vp more butter then all the daies of the weeke beside : next , they stinke of fish miserably : Thirdly , they 'le keep a man deuoutly hungry all day , & at night send him supperlesse to bed .

Pis.

Indeed these are faults Cob.

Cob.

Nay and this were all , 't were something , but they are the onely knowne enemies to my generation . A fasting day no sooner comes , but my lineage goes to racke , poore Cobbes they smoake for it , they melt in passion , and your maides too know this , and yet would haue me turne Hannibal , and eat my owne fish & blood : Pulls out a red Herring my princely couze , feare nothing ; I haue not the heart to deuoure you , and I might bee made as rich as Golias : oh that I had roome for my teares , I could weep salt water enough now to preserue the liues of ten thousand of my kin : but I may curse none but these filthy Almanacks ; for and 't were not for them , these daies of persecution would ne're bee knowne . I le be hang'd and some Fishmongers sonne doe not make on'them , and puts in more fasting daies then hee should doe , because he would vtter his fathers dried stockfish .

Pis.

S'oule peace , thou 'lt be beaten like a stockfish else : here is Signior Matheo . Now must I looke out for a messenger to my Master .

Exeunt Cob & Piso. Enter Matheo , Prospero , Lo. iunior , Bobadilla , Stephano , Musco .

SCENA SECVNDA . Pros.

Beshrew me , but it was an absolute good iest , and exceedingly well caried .

Lo. iu.

I and our ignorance maintained it as well , did it not ?

Pros.

Yes faith , but was 't possible thou should'st not know him ?

Lo. iu.

Fore God not I , and I might haue beene ioind patten with one of the nine worthies for knowing him . S'blood man , he had so writhen himselfe into the habit of one of your poore Disparuiew's here , your decaied , ruinous , worme-eaten gentlemen of the round : such as haue vowed to sit on the skirts of the city , let your Prouost & his half dozen of halberders do what they can ; and haue translated begging out of the olde hackney pace , to a fine easy amble , and made it runne as smooth of the toung , as a shoue-groat shilling , into the likenes of one of these leane Pirgo's , had hee moulded himselfe so perfectly , obseruing euerie tricke of their action , as varying the accent : swearing with an Emphasis . Indeed all with so speciall and exquisite a grace , that ( hadst thou seene him ) thou wouldst haue sworne he might haue beene the Tamberlaine , or the Agamemnon on the rout .

Pros. Why Musco : who would haue thought thou hadst beene such a gallant ? Lo. iu.

I cannot tell , but ( vnles a man had iuggled begging all his life time , and beene a weauer of phrases from his infancie , for the apparrelling of it ) I thinke the world cannot produce his Riuall .

Pros. Where got'st thou this coat I marl'e . Mus. Faith sir , I had it of one of the deuils neere kinsmen , a Broker . Pros. That cannot be , if the prouerbe hold , a craftie knaue needs no broker . Mus. True sir , but I need a broker , Ergo no crafty knaue . Pros. Well put off , well put off . Lo. iu. Tut , he ha's more of these shifts . Mus. And yet where I haue one , the broker ha's ten sir. Enter Piso. Piso. Francisco : Martino : ne're a one to bee found now , what a spite 's this ? Pros. How now Piso ? is my brother within ? Pis. No sir , my master went forth e'ene now : but Signior Giuliano is within . Cob , what Cob : is he gone too ? Pros. Whither went thy master ? Piso canst thou tell ? Piso. I know not , to Doctor Clements , I thinke sir. Cob. Exit Piso . Lo. iu. Doctor Clement , what 's he ? I haue heard much speech of him . Pros.

Why , doest thou not know him ? he is the Gonfalionere of the state here , an excellent rare ciuilian , and a great scholler , but the onely mad merry olde fellow in Europe : I shewed him you the other day .

Lo. iu.

Oh I remember him now ; Good faith , and he hath a very strange presence me thinkes , it shewes as if he stoode out of the ranke from other men . I haue heard many of his iests in Padua : they say he will commit a man for taking the wall of his horse .

Pros. I or wearing his cloake of one shoulder , or any thing indeede , if it come in the way of his humor . Pis. Gasper , Martino , Cob : S'hart , where should they be trow ? Enter Piso. Bob. Signior Thorello's man , I pray thee vouchsafe vs the lighting of this match . Pis. A pox on your match , no time but now to vouchsafe ? Francisco , Cob. Exit . Bob.

Body of me : here 's the remainder of seuen pound , since yesterday was seuen night . It 's your right Trinidado : did you neuer take any , signior ?

Step. No truly sir ? but i 'le learne to take it now , since you commend it so . Bob.

Signior beleeue me , ( vpon my relation ) for what I tel you , the world shall not improue . I haue been in the Indies ( where this herbe growes ) where neither my selfe , nor a dozen Gentlemen more ( of my knowledge ) haue receiued the taste of any other nutriment , in the world , for the space of one and twentie weekes , but Tabacco onely . Therefore it cannot be but 't is most diuine . Further , take it in the nature , in the true kinde so , it makes an Antidote , that ( had you taken the most deadly poysonous simple in all Florence , it should expell it , and clarifie you , with as much ease , as I speak . And for your greene wound , your Balsamum , and your — are all meere gulleries , and trash to it , especially your Trinidado : your 〈◊〉 is good too : I could say what I know of the vertue of it , for the exposing of rewmes , raw humors , crudities , obstructions , with a thousand of this kind ; but I professe my selfe no quacke-saluer : only thus much : by Hercules I doe holde it , and will affirme it ( before any Prince in Europe ) to be the most soueraigne , and pretious herbe , that euer the earth tendred to the vse of man .

Lo. iu. Oh this speech would haue done rare in apothecaries mouth . Pis. I ; close by Saint Anthonies : Doctor Clements . Enter Piso and Cob. Cob. Oh , Oh. Bob. Where 's the match I gaue thee ? Pis. S'blood would his match , and he , and pipe , and all were at Sancto Domingo . Exit . Cob.

By gods dey●es : I marle what pleasure of felicitie they haue in taking this rogish Tabacco : it 's good for nothing but to choake a man , and fill him full of smoake , and imbers : there were foure died out of one house last weeke with taking of it , and two more the bell went for yester-night , one of them ( they say ) will ne're scape it , he voyded a bushell of soote yester-day , vpward and downeward . By the stockes ; and there were no wiser men then I , I 'ld haue it present death , man or woman , that should but deale with a Tabacco pipe ; why , it will stifle them all in the'nd as many as vse it ; it 's little better then rats bane .

Enter Piso. All. Oh good signior ; hold , hold . Bob. You base cullion , you . Pis. Sir , here 's your match ; come , thou must needes be talking too . Cob. Nay he wil not meddle with his match I warrant you : well it shall be a deere beating , and I liue . Bob. Doe you prate ? Lo. iu. Nay good signior , will you regard the humor of a foole ? away knaue . Pros. Piso get him away . Exit Piso , and Cob. Bob.

A horson filthy slaue , a turd , an excrement . Body of Cesar , but that I scorne to let forth so meane a spirit , i 'ld haue stab'd him to the earth .

Pros. Mary God forbid sir. Bob. By this faire heauen I would haue done it . Step.

Oh he sweares admirably : ( by this faire heauen : ) Body of Cesar : I shall neuer doe it , sure ( vpon my saluation ) no I haue not the right grace .

Mat. Signior will you any ? By this ayre the most diuine Tabacco as euer I drunke . Lo. iu. I thanke you sir. Step.

Oh this Gentleman doth it rarely too , but nothing like the other . By this ayre , as I am a Gentleman : by Phoebus .

Exit Bob. and Mat. Mus. Master glaunce , glaunce : Signior Prospero . Step. As I haue a soule to be saued , I doe protest ; Pros. That you are a foole . Lo. iu. Cousin will you any Tabacco ? Step. I sir : vpon my saluation . Lo. iu. How now cousin ? Step. I protest , as I am a Gentleman , but no souldier indeede . Pros. No signior , as I remember you seru'd on a great horse , last generall muster . Step. I sir that 's true : cousin may I sweare as I am a souldier , by that ? Lo. iu. Oh yes , that you may . Step. Then as I am a Gentleman , and a souldier , it is diuine Tabacco . Pros. But soft , where 's signior Matheo ? gone ? Mus. No sir , they went in here . Pros.

Oh let 's follow them : signior Matheo is gone to salute his mistresse , sirra now thou shalt heare some of his verses , for he neuer comes hither without some shreds of poetrie : Come signior Stephano , Musco .

Step. Musco ? where ? is this Musco ? Lo. iu. I , but peace cousin , no words of it at any hand . Step. Not I by this faire heauen , as I haue a soule to be saued , by Phoebus . Pros. Oh rare ! your cousins discourse is simply suted , all in oathes . Lo. iu.

I , he lacks nothing but a little light stuffe , to draw them out withall , and he were rarely fitted to the time .

Exeunt .

ACTVS TERTIVS , SCENA TERTIA. Enter Thorello with Cob. Tho. Ha , how many are there , sayest thou ? Cob. Marry sir , your brother , Signior Prospero . Tho. Tut , beside him : what strangers are there man ? Cob. Strangers ? let me see , one , two ; masse I know not well there 's so many . Tho. How ? so many ? Cob. I , there 's some fiue or sixe of them at the most . Tho. A swarme , a swarme , Spight of the Deuill , how they sting my heart ! How long hast thou beene comming hither Cob ? Cob. But a little while sir. Tho. Didst thou come running ? Cob. No sir. Tho. Tut , then I am familiar with thy haste . Bane to my fortunes : what meant I to marrie ? I that before was rankt in such content , My mind attir'd in smoothe silken peace , Being free master of mine owne free thoughts , And now become a slaue ? what , neuer sigh , Be of good cheare man : for thou art a cuckold , 'T is done , 't is done : nay when such flowing store , Plentie it selfe fals in my wiues lappe , The Cornu-copia will be mine I know . But Cob , What entertainment had they ? I am sure My sister and my wife would bid them welcome , ha ? Cob. Like ynough : yet I heard not a word of welcome . Tho. No , their lips were seal'd with kisses , and the voice Drown'd in a flood of ioy at their arriuall , Had lost her motion , state and facultie . Cob , which of them was 't that first kist my wife ? ( My sister I should say ) my wife , alas , I feare not her : ha ? who was it sayst thou ? Cob. By my troth sir , will you haue the truth of it ? Tho. Oh I good Cob : I pray thee . Cob.

God's my iudge , I saw no body to be kist , vnlesse they would haue kist the post , in the middle of the warehouse ; for there I left them all , at their Tabacco with a poxe .

Tho. How ? were they not gone in then e're thou cam'st ? Cob. Oh no sir. Tho. Spite of the Deuill , what do I stay here then ? Cob , follow me . Exit . Tho. Cob.

Nay , soft and faire , I haue egges on the spit ; I cannot go yet sir : now am I for some diuers reasons hammering , hammering reuenge : oh for three or foure gallons of vineger , to sharpen my wits : Reuenge , vineger reuenge , russet reuenge ; nay , and hee had not lyne in my house , t' would neuer haue greeu'd me ; but being my guest , one that i le bee sworne , my wife ha's lent him her smocke off her backe , while his owne shirt ha beene at washing : pawnd her neckerchers for cleane bands for him : sold almost all my platters to buy him Tabacco ; and yet to see an ingratitude wretch : strike his host ; well I hope to raise vp an host of furies for 't : here comes M. Doctor .

Enter Doctor Clement , Lorenzo sen , Peto . Clem. What 's Signior Thorello gone ? Pet. I sir. Clem. Hart of me , what made him leaue vs so abruptly How now sirra ; what make you here ? what wold you haue , ha ? Cob. And 't please your worship , I am a poore neighbour of your worships . Clem. A neighbour of mine , knaue ? Cob.

I sir , at the signe of the water-tankerd , hard by the greene lattice : I haue paide scot and lott● there any time this eighteene yeares .

Clem. What , at the greene lattice ? Cob. No sir : to the parish : mary I haue seldome scap't scot-free free at the lattice . Clem. So : but what busines hath my neighbour ? Cob. And 't like your worship , I am come to craue the peace of your worship . Clem. Of me , knaue ? peace of me , knaue ? did I e're hurt thee ? did I euer threaten thee ? or wrong thee ? ha ? Cob.

No god's my comfort , I meane your worships warrant , for one that hath wrong'd me sir : his armes are at too much libertie , I would faine haue them bound to a treatie of peace , and I could by any meanes compasse it .

Loren. Why , doest thou goe in danger of thy life for him ? Cob.

No sir ; but I goe in danger of my death euery houre by his meanes ; and I die within a twelue-moneth and a day , I may sweare , by the lawes of the land , that he kil'd me .

Clem. How ? how knaue ? sweare he kil'd thee ? what pretext ? what colour hast thou for that ? Cob. Mary sir : both blacke and blew , colour ynough , I warrant you I haue it here to shew your worship . Clem. What is he , that gaue you this sirra ? Cob. A Gentleman in the citie sir. Clem. A Gentleman ? what call you him ? Cob. Signior Bobadilla . Clem.

Good : But wherefore did he beate you sirra ? how began the quarrel twixt you ? ha : speake truly knaue , I aduise you .

Cob. Marry sir , because I spake against their vagrant Tabacco , as I came by them : for nothing else . Clem. Ha , you speake against Tabacco ? Peto , his name . Pet. What 's your name sirra ? Cob. Oliuer Cob , sir set Oliuer Cob , sir. Clem. Tell Oliuer Cob he shall goe to the iayle . Pet. Oliuer Cob , master Doctor sayes you shall go to the iayle . Cob. Oh I beseech your worship for gods loue , deare master Doctor . Clem.

Nay gods pretious : and such drunken knaues as you are come to dispute of Tabacco once ; I haue done : away with him .

Cob. Oh good master Doctor , sweete Gentleman . Lore . Sweete Oliuer , would I could doe thee any good ; master Doctor let me intreat sir. Clem.

What ? a tankard-bearer , a thread-bare rascall , a begger , a slaue that neuer drunke out of better than pispot mettle in his life , and he to depraue , and abuse the vertue of an herbe , so generally receyu'd in the courts of princes , the chambers of nobles , the bowers of sweete Ladies , the cabbins of souldiers : Peto away with him , by gods passion , I say , goe too .

Cob. Deare master Doctor . Loren. Alasse poore Oliuer . Clem. Peto : I : and make him a warrant , he shall not goe , I but feare the knaue . Cob. O diuine Doctor , thankes noble Doctor , most dainty Doctor , delicious Doctor . Exeunt Peto with Cob. Clem. Signior Lorenzo : Gods pitty man , Be merry , be merry , leaue these dumpes . Loren. Troth would I could sir : but enforced mirth ( In my weake iudgement ) h'as no happy birth . The minde , being once a prisoner vnto cares , The more it dreames on ioy , the worse it fares . A smyling looke is to a heauie soule , As a guilt bias , to a leaden bowle , Which ( in it selfe ) appeares most vile , being spent . To no true vse ; but onely for ostent . Clem.

Nay but good Signior : heare me a word , heare me a word , your cares are nothing ; they are like my cap , soone put on , and as soone put off . What ? your sonne is old inough , to gouerne himselfe ; let him runne his course , it 's the onely way to make him a stay'd man : if he were an vnthrift , a ruffian , a drunkard or a licentious liuer , then you had reason : you had reason to take care : but being none of these , Gods passion , and I had twise so many cares , as you haue , I 'ld drowne them all in a cup of sacke : come , come , I muse your parcell of a souldier returnes not all this while .

Exeunt .

SCENA QVARTA . Enter Giuliano , with Biancha . Giul. Well sister , I tell you true : and you 'le finde it so in the ende . Bia.

Alasse brother , what would you haue me to doe ? I cannot helpe it ; you see , my brother Prospero he brings them in here , they are his friends .

Giu.

His friends ? his friends ? s'blood they do nothing but haunt him vp and downe like a sorte of vnlucky Sprites , and tempt him to all maner of villany , that can be thought of ; well , by this light , a little thing would make me play the deuill with some of them ; and 't were not more for your husbands sake , then any thing else , I 'ld make the house too hot for them ; they should say and sweare , Hell were broken loose , e're they went : But by gods bread , 't is no bodies fault but yours : for and you had done as you might haue done , they should haue beene damn'd e're they should haue come in , e're a one of them .

Bia.

God's my life ; did you euer heare the like ? what a strange man is this ? could I keepe out all them thinke you ? I should put my selfe against halfe a dozen men ? should I ? Good faith you 'ld mad the patient'st body in the world , to heare you talke so , without any sense or reason .

Enter Matheo with Hesperida , Bobadilla , Stephano , Lorenzo iu , Prospero , Musco . Hesp.

Seruant ( in troth ) you are too prodigall of your wits treasure ; thus to powre it foorth vpon so meane a subiect , as my worth ?

Mat. You say well , you say well . Gif. Hoyday , heare is stuffe . Lo. iu. Oh now stand close : pray God she can get him to read it . Pros. Tut , feare not : I warrant thee , he will do it of himselfe with much impudencie . Hes. Seruant , what is that same I pray you ? Mat. Mary an Elegie , an Elegie , an oddetoy . Gui. I to mocke an Ape with all , Oh Iesu . Bia. Sister , I pray you let s heare it . Mat. Mistresse I le reede it if you please . Hes. I pray you doe seruant . Gui. Oh heare s no foppery . Sblood it freates me to the galle to thinke on it . Exit . Pros. Oh I , it is his condition , peace : we are farely ridde of him . Mat.

Fayth I did it in an humor : I know not how it is , but please you come neare signior : this gentleman hath iudgement , he knowes how to censure of a . — I pray you sir , you can iudge .

Step. Not I sir : as I haue a soule to be saued , as I 〈…〉 . Lo. iu. Nay it s well ; so long as he doth not forsweare himselfe . Bob , Signior you abuse the excellencie of your mistresse , and her fayre sister . Fye while you liue auoyd this prolixity . Mat. I shall sir : well , Incipere dulce . Le. iu. How , Incipere dulce ? a sweete thing to be a Foole indeede . Pros. What , do you take Incipere in that sence ? Lo. it . You do not you ? Sblood this was your villanie to gull him with a motto . Pros. Oh the Benchers phrase : Pauca verba , Pauca verba . Mat. Rare creature let me speake without offence , Would God my rude woords had the influence : To rule thy thoughts , as thy fayre lookes do mine , Then shouldst thou be his prisoner , who is thine . Lo. iu. S'hart , this is in Hero and Leander ? Pros. Oh I : peace , we shall haue more of this . Mat. Be not vnkinde and fayre mishapen stuffe , Is of behauiour boysterous and rough :

How like you that signior , sblood he shakes his head like a bottle , to feele and there be any brayne in it .

Mat. But obserue the Catastrophe now , And I in dutie will exceede all other . As you in bewtie do excell loues mother . Lo iu. Well 〈◊〉 haue him free of the brokers , for he vtters nothing but stolne remnants . Pros. Nay good Critique forbeare . Lo. iu. A pox on him , hang him filching rogue , steale from the deade ? its worse then sacriledge . Pros. Sister what haue you heare ? uerses ? I pray you let s see . Bia. Do you let them go so lightly sister . Hes. Yes fayth when they come lightly . Bia. I but if your seruant should heare you , he would take it heauely . Hes. No matter he is able to beare . Bia. So are Asses . Hes. so is hee . Pros. Signior Matheo , who made these verses ? they are excellent good . Mat. Oh God sir , it s your pleasure to say so sir. Fayth I made them extempore this morning . Pros. How extempore ? Mat.

I would I might be damnd els : aske signior Bobadilla . He sawe me write them , at the : ( poxe on it ) the Miter yonder .

Mus.

Well , and the Pope knew hee curst the Miter it were enough to haue him excommunicated all the Tauerns in the towne .

Step. Cosen how do you like this gentlemans verses . Lo. iu. Oh admirable , the best that euer I heard . Step. By this fayre heauens , they are admirable , The best that euer I heard . Enter Giuliano . Giu. I am vext I can hold neuer a bone of me still , Sblood I think they meane to build a Tabernacle heare , well ? Pros.

Sister you haue a simple seruant heare , that crownes your bewtie with such Encomions and Deuises , you may see what it is to be the mistresse of a wit , that can make your perfections so transeparent , that euery bleare eye may looke thorough them , and see him drowned ouer head and eares , in the deepe well of desire . Sister Biancha I meruaile you get you not a seruant that can rime and do trickes too .

Giu. Oh monster ? impudence it selfe ; trickes ? Bia. Trickes , brother ? what trickes ? Hes. Nay , speake I pray you , what trickes ? Bia. I , neuer spare any body heare : but say , what trickes ? Hes. Passion of my heart ? do trickes ? Pros.

Sblood heare s a tricke vied , and reuied : why you monkies you ? what a catter waling do you keepe ? has he not giuen you rymes , and verses , and trickes .

Giu. Oh see the Diuell ? Pros.

Nay , you lampe of virginitie , that take it in snuffe so : come and cherish this tame poetical fury in your seruant , you le be begd else shortly for a concealement : go to , rewarde his muse , you cannot giue him lesse then a shilling in conscience , for the booke he had it out of cost him a teston at the least , how now gallants , Lorenzo , siegnior Bobadilla ? what all sonnes of scilence ? no spirite .

Giu.

Come you might practise your Ruffian trickes somewhere else , and not heare I wisse : this is no Tauerne , nor no place for such exploites .

Pros. Shart how now . Giu.

Nay boy , neuer looke askaunce at me for the matter ; i le tell you of it by Gods bread ? I , and you and your companions mend your selues when I haue done .

Pros. My companions . Gui.

I your companions sir , so I say ? Sblood I am not affrayed of you nor them neither , you must haue your Poets , & your caueleeres , & your fooles follow you vp and downe the citie , and heare they must come to domineere and swagger ? sirha , you Ballad singer , and Slops your fellow there , get you out ; get you out : or ( by the will of God ) I le cut of your eares , goe to .

Pros.

Sblood stay , let s see what he dare do : cut of his eares you are an asse , touch any man heare , and by the Lord i le run my rapier to the hilts in thee .

Gui. Yea , They all draw , enter Piso and some more of the house to part them , the women make a great crie . that would I fayne see , boy . Bia. Oh Iesu Piso , Matheo murder . Hes. Helpe , helpe , Piso. Lo. iu. Gentlemen , Prospero , forbeare I pray you . Bob.

Well sirrah , you Hollofernus : by my hand I will pinck thy flesh full of holes with my rapier for this , I will by this good heauen : nay let him come , let him come , gentlemen by the body of S. George i le not kill him . The offer to fight againe and are parted .

Piso. Hold , hold forbeare : Gui. You whorson bragging coystryll . Enter Thorello . Tho. Why , how now ? what s the matter ? what stirre is heare , Whence springs this quarrell , Pizo where is he ? Put vp your weapons , and put of this rage . My wife and sister they are cause of this , What , Pizo ? where is this knaue . Pizo. Heare sir. Pros. Come , let s goe : this is one of my brothers auncient humors this ? Steph. I am glad no body was hurt by this auncient humor . Exit Prospero , Lorenzo iu. Musco , Stephano , Bobadillo , Matheo , Tho. Why how now brother , who enforst this braule . Gui.

A sorte of lewd rakehelles , that care neither for God nor the Diuell , And they must come heare to read Ballads and Rogery ' and Trash , I le marre the knot of them ere I sleepe perhaps : especially signior Pithagorus , he that s al manner of shapes : and Songs and sonnets , his fellow there .

Hes. Brother indeede you are to violent , To sudden in your courses , and you know My brother Prosperus temper will not beare Any reproofe , chiefely in such a presence , Where euery slight disgrace he should receiue , Would wound him in opinion and respect . Gu. Respect ? what talke you of respect mongst such As had neyther sparke of manhood nor good manners , By God I am ashamed to heare your respect ? Exit . Hes. Yes there was one a ciuill gentleman , And very worthely demeand himselfe . Tho. Oh that was some loue of yours , sister . Hes. A loue of mine ? infayth I would he were No others loue but mine . Bia. Indeede he seemd to be a gentleman of an exceeding fayre disposition , and of very excellent good partes . Exit Hesperida , Biancha . Tho. Her loue , by Iesu : my wises minion , Fayre disposition ? excellent good partes ? S'hart , these phrases are intollerable , Good partes ? how should she know his partes ? well ▪ well , It is too playne , too cleare : Pizo , come hether . What are they gone ? Pi. I sir they went in . Tho. Are any of the gallants within ? Pi. No sir they are all gone . Tho. Art thou sure of it ? Pi. I sir I can assure you . Tho. Pizo what gentleman was that they prays'd so ? Pizo. One they call him signior Lorenzo , a fayre young gentleman sir. Tho. I , I thought so : my minde gaue me as much : Sblood i le be hangd if they haue not hid him in the house , Some where , i le goe search , Piza go with me , Be true to me and thou shalt finde me bountifull . Exeunt .

SCENA QVINTA . Enter CoB , to him Tib. Cob. What Tib , Tib , I say . Tib. How now , what cuckold is that knockes so hard ? Oh husband is t you , what s the newes ? Cob .

Nay you haue stonnd me I fayth ? you hue giuen me a knocke on the forehead , will sticke by me : cuckold ? Swoundes cuckolde ?

Tib. Away you foole did I know it was you that knockt , Come , come , you may call me as bad when you list . Cob. May I ? swoundes Tib you are a whore : Tib. S'hart you lie in your throte . Cob. How the lye ? and in my throte too ? do you long to be stabd , ha ? Tib. Why you are no souldier ? Cob . Masse that s true , when was Bobadilla heare ? that Rogue , that Slaue , that fencing Burgullian ? I le tickle him I faith . Tib. Why what 's the matter ? Cob.

Oh he hath basted me rarely , sumptiously : but I haue it heare will souse him , oh the doctor , the honestest old Troian in all Italy , I do honour the very flea of his dog : a plague on him he put me once in a villanous filthy feare : marry it vanisht away like the smooke of Tobacco : but I was smookt soundly first , I thanke the Diuell , and his good Angell my guest : well wife : or Tib ( which you will ) get you in , and locke the doore I charge you , let no body into you : not Bobbadilla himselfe ; nor the diuell in his likenesse ; you are a woman ; you haue flesh and blood enough in you ; therefore be not tempted ; keepe the doore shut vpon all cummers .

Tib. I warrant you there shall no body enter heare without my consent . Can. Nor with your consent sweete Tib and so I leaue you . Tib. It s more then you know , whether you leaue me so . Cob. How ? Tib. Why sweete . Cob. Tut sweete or soure , thou art a flower , Keepe close thy doore , I aske no more . Exeunt .

SCENA SEXTA . Enter Lorenzoiu . Prospero , Stephano , Musco . Lor. iu. Well Musco performe this businesse happily , And thou makest a conquest of my loue foreuer , Pros. I fayth now let thy spirites put on their best habit , But at any hand remember thy message to my brother . For there s no other meanes to start him ? Mus.

I warrant you sir , feare nothing I haue a nimble soule that hath wakt all my imaginatiue forces by this time , and put them in true motion : what you haue possest me withall ? I le discharge it amply sir. Make no question .

Exit Musco . Pros. That 's well sayd Musco : fayth sirha how dost thou , aproue my wit in this deuise ? Le. iu. Troth well , howsoeuer ? but excellent if it take . Pros.

Take man : why it cannot chuse , but take , if the circumstances miscarry not , but tell me zealously : dost thou affect my sister Hesperida as thou pretendest ?

Lo. iu. Prospero by Iesu. Pros.

Come do not protest I beleeue thee : I fayth she is a virgine of good ornament , and much modestie , vn esse I conceiud very worthely of her , thou shouldest not haue her .

Lo. iu. Nay I thinke it a question whether I shall haue her for all that . Pros. Sblood thou shal haue her , by this light thou shalt ? Lo. iu. Nay do not sweare . Pros.

By S. Marke thou shalt haue her : i le go fetch her presently , poynt but where to meete , and by this hand i le bring her ?

Lo. iu. Hold , hold , what all pollicie dead ? no preuention of mischiefes stirring . Pros. Why , by what shall I sweare by ? thou shalt haue her by my soule . Lo. iu.

I pray the haue patience I am satisfied : Prospero omit no offered occasion , that may make my desires compleate I beseech thee .

Pros. I warrant thee . Exeunt .

ACTVS QVARTVS ,

SCENA PRIMA . Enter Lorenzo senior , Peto , meeting Musco . Peto . Was your man a souldier sir. Lo. I a knaue I tooke him vp begging vpon the way , This morning as I was cumming to the citie , Oh? heare he is ; come on , you make fayre speede : Why ? whereon Gods name haue you beene so long ? Mus. Mary ( Gods my comfort ) where I thought I should haue had little comfort of your worships seruice : Lo. How so ? Mus.

Oh God sir ? your cumming to the citie , & your entertaynement of men , and your sending me to watch ; indeede , all the circumstances are as open to your sonne as to your selfe .

Lo. How should that be ? vnlesse that villaine Musco Haue told him of the letter , and discouered All that I strictly chargd him to conceale ? t is soe . Mus. I fayth you haue hit it : t is so indeede . Lo. But how should he know thee to be my man . Mus. Nay , sir , I cannot tell ; vnlesse it were by the blacke arte ? is not your sonne a scholler sir ? Lo. Yes ; but I hope his soule is not allied To such a diuelish practise : if it were , I had iust cause to weepe my part in him , And curse the time of his creation . But where didst thou finde them Portensio ? Mus.

Nay sir , rather you should aske where the found me ? for i le be sworne I was going along in the streete , thinking nothing , when ( of a suddayne ) one calles , Signior Lorenzos man : another , he cries souldier : and thus halfe a dosen of them , till they had got me within doores , where I no sooner came , but out flies their rapiers and all bent agaynst my brest , they swore some two or three hundreth oathes , and all to tell me I was but a dead man , if I did not confesse where you were , and how I was imployed , and about what , which when they could not get out of me : ( as Gods my iudge , they should haue kild me first ) they lockt me vp into a roome in the toppe of a house , where by great miracle ( hauing a light hart ) I slidde downe by a bottome of packthread into the streete , and so scapt : but maister , thus much I can assure you , for I heard it while I was lockt vp : there were a great many merchants and rich citizens wiues with them at a banquet , and your sonne Signior Lorenzo , has poynted one of them to meete anone at one Cobs house , a waterbearers ? that dwelles by the wall : now there you shall be sure to take him : for fayle he will not .

Lo. Nor will I fayle to breake this match , I doubt not ; Well : go thou along with maister doctors man , And stay there for me ? at one Cobs house sayst thou . Exit . Mus.

I sir , there you shall haue him : when can you tell ? much wench , or much sonne : sblood when he has stayd there three or foure houres , trauelling with the expectation of somewhat ; and at the length be deliuered of nothing : oh the sport that I should then take to look on him if I durst but now I meane to appeare no more afore him in this shape : I haue another tricke to act yet ? oh that I were so happy , as to light vpon an ounce now of this doctors clarke : God saue you sir ,

Peto . I thanke you good sir. Mus. I haue made you stay somewhat long sir. Peto . Not a whit sir , I pray you what sir do you meane : you haue beene lately in the warres sir it seemes . Mus. I Marry haue I sir. Peto . Troth sir , I would be glad to bestow a pottle of wine of you if it please you to accept it . Mus. Oh Lord sir. Peto .

But to heare the manner of you seruises , and your deuises in the warres , they say they be very strange , and not like those a man reades in the Romane histories .

Mus.

Oh God no sir , why at any time when it please you , I shall be ready to descourse to you what I know : and more to somewhat .

Peto .

No better time then now sir , wee le goe to the Meeramaide there we shall haue a cuppe of neate wine , I pray you sir let me request you .

Mus. I le follow you sir , he is mine owne I fayth . Exeunt . Enter Babadillo , Lorenzo iu , Matheo , Stephano .

Mat Signior did you euer see the like cloune of him , where we were to daye : signior Prosperos brother ? I thinke the whole earth cannot shew his like by Iesu.

Lo. We were now speaking of him , signior Bobadillo telles me he is fallen foule of you two . Mat. Oh I sir , he threatned me with the bastinado . Bo. I but I think I taught you atrick this morning for that . You shall kill him without all question : if you be so minded . Mat. Indeede it is a most excellent tricke . Bo. Oh you do not giue spirit enough to your motion , you are too dull , too tardie : oh it must be done like lightning , hay ? Mat. Oh rare . Bob. Tut t is nothing and 't be not done in a — Lo. iu. Signior did you neuer play with any of our maisters here . Mat. Oh good sir. Bob.

Nay for a more instance of their preposterous humor , there came three or foure of them to me , at a gentlemans house , where it was my chance to bee resident at that time , to intreate my presence at their scholes , and withall so much importund me , that ( I protest to you as I am a gentleman ) I was ashamd of their rude demeanor out of all measure : well , I tolde them that to come to a publique schoole they should pardon me , it was opposite to my humor but if so they would attend me at my lodging , I protested to do them what right or fauour I could , as I was a gentleman , &c.

Lo. iu. So sir , then you tried their skill . Bob.

Alasse soone tried : you shall heare sir , within two or three dayes after , they came , and by Iesu good signior beleeue me , I grac't them exceedingly , shewd them some two or three trickes of preuention , hath got them since admirable credit , they cannot denie this ; and yet now they hate me , and why ? because I am excellent , and for no other 〈…〉 earth .

Lo. iu. This is strange and vile as euer I heard . Bob.

I will tell you sir vpon my first comming to the citie , they assaulted me some three , foure , fiue , six , of them together as I haue walkt alone , in diuers places of the citie ; as vpon the exchange , at my lodging , and at my ordinarie : where I haue driuen them afore me the whole length of a streete , in the open view of all our gallants , pittying to hurt them beleeue me ; yet all this lenety will not depresse their spleane : they will be doing with the Pismier , raysing a hill , a man may spurne abroade with his foote at pleasure : by my soule I could haue slayne them all , but I delight not in murder : I am loth to heare any other but a bastinado for them , and yet I hould it good pollicie not to goe disarmd , for though I be skilfull , I may be suppressd with multitudes .

Lo. iu. I by Iesu may you sir and ( in my conceite ) our whole nation should sustayne the losse by it , if it were so . Bob. Alasse no : what s a peculier man , to a nation ? not seene . Lo iu. I but your skill sir. Bob.

Indeede that might be some losse , but who respects it ? I will tel you Signior ( in priuate ) I am a gentleman , and liue here obscure , and to my selfe : but were I known to the Duke ( obserue me ) I would vndertake ( vpon my heade and life ) for the publique benefit of the state , not onely to spare the intire liues of his subiects ingenerall , but to saue the one halfe : nay there partes of his yeerely charges , in houlding warres generally agaynst all his enemies ? and how will I do it thinke you ?

Lo . iu. Nay I know not , nor can I conceiue . Bo.

Marry thus , I would select 19 more to my selfe , throughout the land , gentlemen they should be of good spirit ; strong & able constitution , I would chuse them by an instinct , a trick that I haue : & I would teach these 19. the special tricks , as your Punto , your Reuerso , your Stoccato , your Imbroccato , your Passado , your Montaunto , till they could all play very neare or altogether as well as my selfe . this done ; say the enemie were forty thousand strong : we twenty wold come into the field the tenth of March , or ther abouts ; & would challendge twenty of the enemie ? they could not in there honor refuse the combat : wel , we would kil them : challenge twentie more , kill them ; twentie more , kill them ; twentie more , kill them too ; and thus would we kill euery man , his twentie a day , that s twentie score ; twentie score , that s two hundreth ; two hundreth a day , fiue dayes a thousand : fortie thousand ; fortie times fiue , fiue times fortie , two hundreth dayes killes them all , by computation , and this will I venture my life to performe : prouided there be no treason practised vpon vs .

Lo. iu. Why are you so sure of your hand at all times ? Bob. Tut , neuer mistrust vpon my soule . Lo. iu. Masse I would not stand in signior Giuliano state , then ; And you meete him , for the wealth of Florence . Bob.

Why signior , by Iesu if hee were heare now : I would not draw my weapon on him , let this gentleman doe his mind but I wil bastinado him ( by heauen ) & euer I meete him .

Mat. Fayth and i le haue a fling at him . Enter Giuliano and goes out agayne . Lo. iu. Looke yonder he goes I thinke . Gui. Sblood what lucke haue I , I cannot meete with these bragging rascalls , Bob. It s not he : is it ? Lo. iu. Yes fayth it is he ? Mat. I le be hangd then if that were he . Lo. iu. Before God it was he : you make me sweare . Step. Vpon my saluation it was hee . Bob. Well had I thought it had beene he : he could not haue gone so , but I cannot be induc'd to beleeue it was he yet . Enter Giulliano . Giu. Oh gallant haue I found you ? draw to your tooles , draw , or by Gods will i le thresh you . Bob. Signior heare me ? Gui. Draw your weapons then : Bob.

Signior , I neuer thought it till now : body of S. George , I haue a warrant of the peace serued on me euen now , as I came along by a waterbearer , this gentleman saw it , signior Matheo .

Giu. The peace ? Sblood , you will not draw ? Matheo runnes away . He beates him and disarmes him . Lo. iu. Hold signior hold , vnder thy fauour forbeare . Giu.

Prate agayne as you like this you whoreson cowardly rascall , you le controule the poynt you ? your consort hee is gone ? had he stayd he had shard with yow infayth .

Exit Giulliano . Bob. Well gentlemen beare witnesse I was bound to the peace , by Iesu. Lo. iu. Why and though you were sir , the lawe alowes you to defend your selfe ; that s but a poore excuse . Bob.

I cannot tell ; I neuer sustayned the like disgrace ( by heauen ) sure I was strooke with a Plannet then , for I had no power to touch my weapon .

Exit . Lo. iu.

I like inough I haue heard of many that haue beene beaten vnder a plannet ; goe get you to the Surgions , sblood and these be your tricks , your passados , & your Mountauntos ilenone of them : oh God that this age should bring foorth such creatures ? come cosen .

Step. Masse i le haue this cloke . Lo. iu. Gods will : it s Giullianos . Step. Nay but t is mine now , another might haue tane it vp aswell as I , I le weare it so I will . Lo. iu. How and he see it , hee le challenge it assure your selfe . Step. I but he shall not haue it ; I le say I bought it . Lo. iu. Aduise you cosen , take heede he giue not you as much . Exeunt . Enter Thorello , Prospero , Biancha Hesperida . Tho. Now trust me Prospero you were much to blame , T' incense your brother and disturbe the peace , Of my poore house , for there be sentinelles , That euery minute watch to giue alarames , Of ciuill warre , without adiection , Of your assistance and occasion . Pros.

No harme done brother I warrant you : since there is no harme done , anger costs a man nothing : and a tall man is neuer his owne man til he be angry , to keep his valure in obscuritie : is to keepe himselfe as it were in a cloke-bag : what s a musition vnlesse he play ? what s a tall man vnlesse he fight ? for indeede all this my brother stands vpon absolutely , and that made me fall in with him so resolutely .

Bia. I but what harme might haue come of it ? Pros.

Might ? so might the good warme cloathes your husband weares be poysond for any thing he knowes , or the wholesome wine he drunke euen now at the table .

Tho. Now God forbid : O me ? now I remember , My wife drunke to me last ; and changd the cuppe , And bad me ware this cursed sute to day , See , if God suffer murder vndiscouered ? I feele me ill ; giue me some Mithredate , Some Mithredate and oyle ; good sister fetch me , O , I am sicke at hart : I burne , I burne ; If you will saue my life goe fetch it mee . Pros. Oh strange humor my very breath hath poysond him . Hes. Good brother be content , what do you meane , The strength of these extreame conceites will kill you ? Bia. Beshrew your hart blood , brother Prospero , For putting such a toy into his head . Pros. Is a fit similie , a toy ? will he be poysond with a similie ? Brother Thorello , what a strange and vaine imagination is this ? For shame be wiser , of my soule there s no such matter . Tho. Am I not sicke ? how am I then not poysond ? Am I not poysond ? how am I then so sicke ? Bia. If you be sicke , your owne thoughts make you sicke . Pros. His iealoucie is the poyson he hath taken . Enter Musco like the doctors man . Mus.

Signior Thorello my maister doctor Clement salutes you , and desires to speake with you , with all speede possible .

Tho.

No time but now ? well , i le waite vpon his worship , Pizo , Cob , i le seeke them out , and set them sentinelles till I returne . Pizo , Cob , Pizo.

Exit . Pros. Musco , this is rare , but how gotst thou this apparrel of the doctors man . Mus.

Marry sir. My youth would needes bestow the wine of me to heare some martiall discourse ; where I so marshald him , that I made him monstrous drunke , & because too much heate was the cause of his distemper , I stript him starke naked as he lay along a sleepe , and borrowed his sewt to deliuer this counterfeit message in , leauing a rustie armoure , and an olde browne bill to watch him ; till my returne : which shall be when I haue paund his apparrell , and spent the monie perhappes .

Pros.

Well thou art a madde knaue Musco , his absence will be a good subiect for more mirth : I pray the returne to thy young maister Lorenzo , and will him to meete me and Hesperida at the Friery presently : for here tell him the house is so sturde with iealousie , that there is no roome for loue to stand vpright in : but i le vse such meanes she shall come thether , and that I thinke will meete best with his desires : Hye thee good Musco .

Mus. I goe sir. Exit . Enter Thorello to him Pizo . Tho. Ho Pizo , Cob , where are these villaines troe ? Oh , art thou there ? Pizo harke thee here : Marke what I say to thee , I must goe foorth ; Be carefull of thy promise , keepe good watch , Note euery gallant and obserue him well , That enters in my absence to thy mistrisse ; If she would shew him roomes , the ieast is stale , Follow them Pizo or els hang on him , And let him not go after , marke their lookes ? Note if she offer but to see his band , Or any other amorous toy about him , But prayse his legge , or foote , or if she say , The day is hotte , and bid him feele her hand , How hot it is , oh that s a monstrous thing : Note me all this , sweete Pizo ; marke their sighes , And if they do but wisper breake them off , I le beare thee out in it : wilt thou do this ? Wilt thou be true sweete Pizo ? Pi. Most true sir. Tho. Thankes gentle Pizo : where is Cob ? now : Cob ? Exit Thorello Bia.

Hee s euer calling for Cob , I wonder how hee imployes Cob soe .

Pros.

Indeede sister to aske how he imployes Cob , is a necessary question for you that are his wife , and a thing not very easie for you to be satisfied in : but this i le assure you Cobs wife is an excellent baud indeede : and oftentimes your husband hauntes her house , marry to what end I cannot altogether accuse him , imagine you what you thinke conuenient : but I haue knowne fayre hides haue foule hartes eare now , I can tell you .

Bia.

Neuer sayd you truer then that brother ? Pizo fetch your cloke , and goe with me , i le after him presently : I would to Christ I could take there I fayth .

Exeunt Pizo and Biancha . Pros.

So let them goe : this may make sport anone , now my fayre sister Hesperida : ah that you knew how happy a ting it were to be fayre and bewtifull ?

Hes.

That toucheth not me brother .

Pros.

That s true : that s euen the fault of it , for indeede bewtie stands a woman in no stead , vnles it procure her touching : but sister whether it touch you or noe , it touches your bewties , and I am sure they will abide the touch , and they doe not a plague of al ceruse say I , and it touches me to inpart , though not in thee . Well , there s a deare and respected friend of mine sister , stands very strongly affected towardes you , and hath vowed to inflame whole bonefires of zeale in his hart , in honor of your perfections , I haue already engaged my promise to bring you where you shal heare him conferme much more then I am able to lay downe for him : Signior Lorenzo is the man : what say you sister shall I intreate so much fauour of you for my friend , is too direct and attend you to his meeting ? vpon my soule he loues you extreamely , approue it sweete Hesperida will you ?

Hes.

Hayth I had very little confidence in mine owne costancie if I durst not meete a man : but brother Prospero this motion of your sauours of an olde knight aduenturers seruant , me thinkes .

Pros.

What s that sister .

Hes.

Marry of the squire .

Pros.

No matter Hesperida if it did , I would ve such an one for my friend , but say , will you goe ?

Hes.

Brother I will , and blesse my happy starres .

Enter Clement and Thorello . Clem.

Why what villanie is this ? my man gone on a false message , and runne away when he has done , why what trick is there in it trow ? 1.2.3.4 . and 5.

Tho. How : is my wife gone foorth , where is she sister ? Hes.

Shee s gone abrode with Pizo.

Tho. Abrode with Pizo ? oh that villaine dors me . He hath discouered all vnto my wife , Beast that I was to trust him : whither went she ? Hes.

I know not sir.

Pros.

I le tell you brother whither I suspect shee s gone .

Tho.

Whither for gods sake ?

Pros.

To Cobs house I beleeue : but keepe my counsayle .

Tho. I will , I will , to Cobs house ? doth she haunt Cobs , Shee s gone a purpose now to cuckold me , With that lewd rascall , who to winne her fauour , Hath told her all . Clem.

But did you mistresse see my man bring him a message .

Pros.

That we did maister doctor .

Clem.

And whither went the knaue ?

Pros. To the Tauerne I thinke sir. Clem.

What did Thorello giue him any thing to spend for the message he brought him ? if he did I should commend my mans wit exceedingly if he would make himselfe drunke , with the ioy of it , farewell Lady , keepe good rule you two : I beseech you now : by Gods marry my man makes mee laugh .

Exit . Pros. What a madde Doctor is this ? come sister let s away . Exeunt . Enter Matheo and Bobadillo . Mat. I wonder signior what they will say of my going away : ha ? Bob. Why , what should they say ? but as of a discreet gentleman . Quick , wary , respectfull of natures , Fayre liniamentes , and that s all . Mat. Why so , but what can they say of your beating ? Bob .

A rude part , a touch with soft wood , a kinde of grosse batterie vsed , layd on strongly : borne most paciently , and that s all .

Mat. I but would any man haue offered it in Venice ? Bob.

Tut I assure you no : you shall haue there your Nobilis , your Gentelezza , come in brauely vpon your reuerse , stand you close , stand you ferme , stand you fayre , saue your retricato with his left legge , come to the assaulto with the right , thrust with braue steele , defie your base wood . But wherefore do I awake this remembrance ? I was bewitcht by Iesu : but I will be reuengd .

Mat. Do you heare is t not best to get a warrant and haue him arested , and brought before doctor Clement . Bob. It were not amisse would we had it . Enter Musco . Mat. Why here comes his man , let s speake to him . Bob. Agreed , do you speake . Mat. God saue you sir. Mus. With all my hart sir ? Mat.

Sir there is one Giulliano hath abusd this gentleman and me , and we determine to make our amendes by law , now if you would do vs the fauour to procure vs a warrant for his arest of your maister , you shall be well considered I assure , I fayth sir.

Mus.

Sir you know my seruice is my liuing , such fauours as these gotten of my maister is his onely preferment , and therefore you must consider me , as I may make benefit of my place .

Mat. How is that ? Mus.

Fayth sir , the thing is extraordinarie , and the gentleman may be of great accompt : yet be what he will , if you will lay me downe fiue crownes in my hand , you shall haue it , otherwise not .

Mat. How shall we do signior ? you haue no monie . Bob . Not a crosse by Iesu. Mat.

Nor I before God but two pence : left of my two shillings in the morning for wine and 〈◊〉 let 's giue him some pawne .

Bob. Pawne ? we haue none to the value of his demaunde . Mat.

Oh Lord , man , I le pawne this iewell in my eare , and you may pawne your silke stockins , and pull vp your bootes , they will neare be mist .

Bob. Well and there be no remedie : i le step aside and put them of . Mat.

Doe you heare sir , we haue no store of monie at this time , but you shall haue good pawnes , looke you sir , this Iewell , and this gentlemans silke stockins , because we would haue it dispatcht ere we went to our chambers .

Mus. I am content sir , I will get you the warrant presently what s his name say you ( Giulliano . ) Mat. I , I , Giulliano . Mus. What manner of man is he ? Mat. A tall bigge man sir , he goes in a cloake most commonly of silke russet : layd about with russet lace . Mus. T is very good sir. Mat. Here sir , here s my iewell ? Bob. And heare are stockins . Mus.

Well gentlemen i le procure this waarrant presently , and appoynt you a varlet of the citie to serue it , if you le be vpon the Realto anone , the varlet shall meete you there .

Mat. Very good sir I wish no better . Exeunt Bobadilla and Matheo . Mus.

This is rare , now will I goe pawne this cloake of the doctors mans at the brokers for a varlets sute , and be the varlet my selfe , and get eyther more pawnes , or more money of Giulliano for my arrest .

Exit .

ACTVS QVINTVS .

SCENA PRIMA . Enter Lorenzo senior . Lo. se. Oh heare it is , I am glad I haue found it now , Ho ? who is within heare ? Enter Tib. Tib. I am within sir , what s your pleasure ? Lo. se. To know who is within besides your selfe . Tib. Why sir , you are no constable I hope ? Lo. se. O feare you the constable ? then I doubt not , You haue some guests within deserue that feare , I le fetch him straight . Tib. A Gods name sir. Lo. se. Go to , tell me is not the young Lorenzo here ? Tib. Young Lorenzo , I saw none such sir , of mine honestie . Lo. se. Go to , your honestie flies too lightly from you : There s no way but fetch the constable . Tib. The constable , the man is mad I think . Claps to the doore . Enter Pizo , and Biancha . Pizo. Ho , who keepes house here ? Lo. se. Oh , this is the female copes-mate of my sonne . Now shall I meete him straight . Bia. Knocke Pizo pray thee . Pi. Ho good wife . Tib. Why what s the matter with you . Enter Tib. Bia. Why woman , grieues it you to ope your doore ? Belike you get something to keepe it shut . Tib. What meane these questions pray ye ? Bia. So strange you make it ? is not Thorello my tryed husband here . Lo. se. Her husband ? Tib. I hope he needes not to be tryed here . Bia. No dame : he both it not for neede but pleasure . Tib. Neyther for neede nor pleasure is he here . Lo. se. This is but a deuise to balke me with al ; Soft , whoe s this ? Enter Thorello . Bia. Oh sir , haue I fore-stald your honest market ? Found your close walkes ? you stand amazd now , do you ? I fayth ( I am glad ) I haue smokt you yet at last ; What 's your iewell trow ? In : come let s see her ; Fetch foorth your huswife , dame ; if she be fayrer In any honest iudgement then my selfe , I le be content with it : but she is chaunge , She feedes you fat ; she soothes your appetite , And you are well : your wife an honest woman , Is meate twise sod to you sir ; A you trecher . Lo. se. She cannot counterfeit this palpably . Tho. Out on thee more then strumpets impudencie , Stealst thou thus to thy hauntes ? and haue I taken , Thy baud , and thee , and thy companion ? This hoary headed letcher , this olde goate Close at your villanie , and wouldst thou scuse it , With this stale harlots iest , accusing me ? O ould incontinent , dost thou not shame , When all thy powers inchastitie is spent , To haue a minde so hot ? and to entise And feede the intisements of a lustfull woman ? Bia. Out I defie thee I , desembling wretch : Tho. Defie me strumpet ? aske thy paunder here . Can he denie it ? or that wicked elder . Lo. sen. Why heare you signior ? Tho. Tut , tut , neuer speake , Thy guiltie conscience will discouer thee : Lo. se. What lunacie is this that haunts this man ? Enter Giulliano . Giu. Oh sister did you see my cloake ? Bia. Not I , I see none . Giu. Gods life I haue lost it then , saw you Hesperida ? Tho. Hesperida ? is she not at home Giu. No she is gone abroade , and no body can tell me of it at home . Exit . The . Oh heauen , ? abroade ? what light ? a harlot too ? Why ? why ? harke you , hath she ? hath she not a brother ? A brothers house to keepe ? to looke vnto ? But she must fling abroade , my wife hath spoyld her , She takes right after her , she does , she does , Well you goody baud and — Enter Cob. That make your husband such a hoddy dody ; And you young apple squire , and olde cuckold maker , I le haue you euery one before the Doctor , Nay you shall answere it I chardge you goe . Lo. se Marry with all my hart , I le goe willingly : how haue I wrongd my selfe in comming here . Bi. Go with thee ? i le go with thee to thy shame . I warrant thee . Cob. Why what 's the matter ? what s here to doe ? Tho. What Cob art thou here ? oh I am abusd , And in thy house , was neuer man so wrongd . Cob. Slid in my house ? who wrongd you in my house ? Tho. Marry young lust in olde , and olde in young here , Thy wife s their baud , here haue I taken them . Cob.

Doe you here ? Cob beates his wife . did I not charge you keepe your dores shut here , and do you let them lieopen for all commers , do you scratch .

Lo. se. Friend haue patience if she haue done wrong in this let her answere it afore the Magistrate . Cob. I , come , you shall goe afore the Doctor . Tib.

Nay , I will go , i le see and you may be aloud to beate your poore wife thus at euery cuckoldly knaues pleasure , the Diuell and the Pox take you all for me : why doe you not goe now .

The . A bitter queane , come wee le haue you tamd . Exeunt Enter Musco alone . Mus.

Well of all my disguises yet now am I most like my selfe beeing in this varlets suit , a man of my present profession neuer counterfeites till he lay holde vpon a debtor , and sayes he rests him , for then he bringes him to al manner of vnrest ; A kinde of little kings we are , bearing the diminitiue of a mace made like a young Hartechocke that alwayes carries Pepper and salte in it selfe , well I know not what danger I vnder go by this exploite , pray God I come well of .

Enter Bobadilla and Matheo . Mat. See I thinke yonder is the varlet . Bob. Let s go inquest of him . Mat. God saue you friend , are not you here by the appoyntment of doctor Clemants man . Mus.

Yes and please you sir , he told me two gentlemen had wild him to procure an arest vpon one signior Giulliano by a warrant from his maister , which I haue about me .

Mat.

It is honestly done of you both , and see where hee coms you must arest , vppon him for Gods sake before hee beware .

Enter Stephano . Bob. Beare backe Matheo ? Mus. Signior Giulliano I arest you sir in the Dukes name . Step.

Signior Giulliano ? am I signior Giulliano ? I am one signior Stephano I tell you , and you do not well by Gods slid to arest me , I tell you truely ; I am not in your maisters bookes , I would you should well know I : and a plague of God on you for making me afrayd thus .

Mus. Why , how are you deceiued gentlemen ? Bob. He weares such a cloake , and that deceiued vs , But see here a coms , officer , this is he . Enter Giulliano . Giu. Why how now signior gull : are you a turnd flincher of late . come deliuer my cloake . Step. Your cloake sir ? I bought it euen now in the market . Mus Signior Giulliano I must arest you sir . Giu. Arrest me sir , at whose suite ? Mus. At these two gentlemens . Giu. I obey thee varlet ; but for these villianes — Mus. Keepe the peace I charge you sir , in the Dukes name Sir . Giu. What s the matter varlet ? Mus.

You must goe before maister doctor Clement sir , to answere what these gentlemen will obiect agaynst you , harke you sir , I will vse you kindely .

Mat.

Wee le be euen with you sir , come signior Bobadilla . wee le goe before and prepare the doctor : varlet looke to him .

Exeunt Bobadilla and Matheo . Bob. The varlet is a tall man by Iesu. Giu. Away you rascalles , Signior I shall haue my cloake . Step. Your cloake : I say once agayne I bought it , and i le keepe it . Giu. You will keepe it ? Step. I , that I will . Giu. Verlet stay , here s thy fee arrest him . Mus. Signior Stephano I arrest you . Step. Arrest me ? there take your cloake : i le none of it . Giu.

Nay that shall not serue your turne , varlet , bring him away , I le goe with thee now to the doctors , and carry him along .

Step. Why is not here your cloake ? what would you haue ? Giu. I care not for that . Mus. I pray you sir. Giu. Neuer talke of it ; I will haue him answere it . Mus. Well sir then i le leaue you , i le take this gentlemans woorde for his appearance , as I haue done yours . Giu. Tut i le haue no woordes taken , bring him along to answere it . Mus. Good sir I pitie the gentlemans case , here s your monie agayne . Giu. Gods bread , tell not me of my monie , bring him away I say . Mus. I warrant you , he will goe with you of himselfe . Giu. Yet more adoe ? Mus. I haue made a fayre mashe of it . Step. Must I goe ? Exeunt . Enter doctor Clement , Thorello , Lorenzo , se. Biancha , Pizo , Tib , a seruant or two of the Doctors . Clem.

Nay but stay , stay giue me leaue ; my chayre sirha ? you signior Lorenzo say you went thether to meete your sonne .

Lo. se. I sir. Clem. But who directed you thether ? Lo. se. That did my man sir ? Clem. Where is hee ? Lo. se. Nay I know not now , I left him with your clarke , And appoynted him to stay here for me . Clem. About what time was this ? Lo. se . Marry betweene one and two as I take it . Clem. So , what time came my man with the message to you Signior Thorello ? Tho. After two sir. Clem. Very good , but Lady how that you were at Cobs : ha ? Bia. And please you sir , i le tell you : my brother Prospero tolde me that Cobs house was a suspected place . Clem. So it appeares me thinkes ; but on , Bia. And that my husband vsed thether dayly ; Clem. No matter , so he vse himselfe well . Bia. True sir , but you know what growes by such haunts oftentimes . Clem. I , ranke fruites of a iealous brayne Lady : but did you finde your husband there in that case , as you suspected . Tho. I found her there sir. Clem. Did you so ? that alters the case ; who gaue you knowledge of your wiues beeing there ? Tho. Marry that did my brother Prospero . Clem. How Prospero , first tell her , then tell you after ? where is Prospero . The . Gone with my sister sir , I know not whither . Clem.

Why this is a meare tricke , a deuise ; you are gulled in this most grosly : alasse poore wench wert thou beaten for this , how now sirha what 's the matter ? Enter one of the Do. men .

Ser. Sir there s a gentleman in the court without desires to speake with your worship . Clem. A gentleman ? what s he ? Ser. A Souldier , sir , he sayeth . Clem.

A Souldier ? fetch me my armour , my sworde , quickly a souldier speake with me , why when knaues , — come on , come on , hold my cap there , so ; giue me my gorget , my sword stand by I will end your matters anone ; let the souldier enter , now sir what haue you to say to me ?

Enter Bobadillo and Matheo . Bob. By your worships fauour . Clem.

Nay keepe out sir , I know not your pretence , you send me word sir you are a souldier , why sir you shall bee answered here , here be them haue beene amongst souldiers . Sir your pleasure .

Bob.

Fayth sir so it is : this gentleman and my selfe haue beene most violently wronged by one signior Giulliano : a gallant of the citie here and for my owne part I protest , beeing a man in no sorte giuen to this filthy humor of quarreling , he hath asaulted me in the way of my peace : dispoyld me of mine honor , disarmd me of my weapons , and beaten me in the open streetes : when I not so much as once offered to resist him .

Clem.

Oh Gods precious is this the souldier ? here take my armour quickly , t will make him swoone I feare ; he is not fit to looke on 't , that will put vp a blow .

Enter Seruant . Mat. An dt please your worship he was bound to the peace . Clem. Why , and he were sir , his hands , were not bound , were they ? Ser. There is one of the varlets of the citie , has brought two gentlemen here vpon arest sir. Clem.

Bid him come in , set by the picture : now sir , what ? signior Giulliano ? is t you that are arested at signior freshwaters suit here .

Enter Mus. with Gin. & Stephano . Giu. I fayth maister Doctor , and here s another brought at my suite . Clem. What are yo sir. Step. A gentleman sir ? oh vncle ? Clem. Vncle ? who , Lorenzo ? Le. se. I Sir . Step.

Gods my witnesse my vncle , I am wrongd here monstrously , he chargeth me with stealing of his cloake , & would I might neuer stir , if I did not finde it in the street by chance .

Giu. Oh did you finde it now ? you saide you bought it ere while ? Step. And you sayd I stole it , nay now my vnckle is here I care not . Clem.

Well let this breath a while ; you that haue cause to complaine there , stand foorth ; had you a warrant for this arrest .

Bob. I an dt please your worship . Clem. Nay do not speake in passion so , where had you it ? Bob. Of your clarke sir. Clem.

That s well and my clarke can make warrants , and my hand not at them ; where is the warrant ? varlet haue you it ?

Mus. No sir your worshippes man bid me doe it ; for these gentlemen and he would be my discharge . Clem. Why signior Giulliano , are you such a nouice to be arrested and neuer see the warrant ? Giu. Why sir , he did not arrest me . Clem. No ? how then ? Giu. Marry sir he came to me and sayd he must arrest me , and he would vse me kindely , and so foorth . Clem.

Oh Gods pittie , was it so sir , he must arrest you : giue me my long sworde there : helpe me of ; so , come on sir varlet , I must cut of your legges sirha ; nay stand vp i le vse you kindly ; I must cut of your legges I say .

Mus. Oh good sir I beseech you , nay good maister doctor , Oh good sir. Clem. I must do it ; there is no remedie ; I must cut of your legges sirha . I must cut of your eares , you rascall I must do it ; I must cut of your nose , I must cut of your head . Mus. Oh for God sake good Maister Doctor . Clem. Well rise how doest thou now ? doest thou feele thy selfe well ? hast thou no harme ? Mus. No I thanke God sir and your good worshippe . Clem.

Why so I sayd I must cut of thy legges , and I must cut of thy armes , and I must cut of thy head : but I did not do it : so you sayd you must arrest this gentleman , but you did not arrest him you knaue , you slaue , you rogue , do you say you must arrest sirha : away with him to the iayle , i le teach you a tricke for your must .

Mus. Good M. Doctor I beseech you be good to me . Clem. Marry a God : away with him I say . Mus.

Nay sblood before I goe to prison , i le put on my olde brasen face , and disclaime in my vocation : I le discouer that s flat , and I be committed , it shall be for the committing of more villainies then this , hang 〈…〉 I loose the least graine of my fame .

Clem. Why ? when knaue ? by Gods marry , i le clappe thee by the heeles 〈◊〉 . Mus. Hold , hold I pray you . Clem. What s the matter ? stay there . Mus.

Fayth sir afore I goe to this house of bondage , I haue a case to vnfolde to your worshippe : which ( that it may appeare more playne vnto your worshippes view ) I do thus first of all vncase , & appeare in mine owne proper nature , seruant to this gentleman : and knowne by the name of Musco .

Lo. se. Ha ? Musco . Step. Oh vncle , Musco has beene with my cosen and I all this day . Clem. Did not I tell you there was some deuise . Mus.

Nay good M. Doctor since I haue layd my selfe thus open to your worship : now stand strong for me , till the progresse of my tale be ended , and then if my wit do not deserue your countenance : Slight throw it on a dogge , and let me goe hang my selfe .

Cle.

Body of me a merry knaue , giue me a boule of Sack , signior Lorenzo , I bespeak your patience in perticuler , marry your eares ingenerall , here knaue , Doctor Clement drinkes to thee .

Mus. I pledge M. Doctor and 't were a sea to the bottome . Cle . Fill his boule for that , fil his boule : so , now speak freely . Mus.

Indeede this is it will make a man speake freely . But to the poynt , know then that I Musco ( beeing somewhat more trusted of my maister then reason required and knowing his intent to Florence ) did assume the habit of a poore souldier in wants , and minding by some meanes to intercept his iorney in the mid way , twixt the grandg and the city , I encountred him , where begging of him in the most accomplisht and true garbe ( as they tearme it ) contrarie to al expectation , he reclaimed me from that bad course of life ; entertayned me into his seruice , imployed me in his business possest me with his secrets , which I no sooner had receiued , but ( seeking my young maister , and finding him at this gentlemans house ) I reuealed all most amply : this done , by the deuise of signior Prospero , and him together , I returnd ( as the Rauen did to the Arke ) to mine olde maister againe , told him he should finde his sonne in what maner he knows , at one Cobs house , where indeede he neuer ment to come , now my maister lie to maintayne the iest , went thether , and left me with your worships clarke : who being of a most fine supple disposition ( as most of your clarkes are ) proffers me the wine , which I had the grace to accept very easily , and to the tauerne we went : there after much ceremonie , I made him drunke in kindenesse , stript him to his shurt , and leauing him in that coole vayne , departed , frolicke , courtier like , hauing obtayned a suit : which suit fitting me exceedingly well , I put on , and vsurping your mans phrase & action , caried a message to Signior Thorello in your name : which message was meerely deuised but to procure his absence , while signior Prospero might make a conueiance of Hesperida to my maister .

Clem.

Stay , fill me the boule agayne , here ; t were pittie of his life would not cherish such a spirite : I drinke to thee , fill him wine , why now do you perceiue the tricke of it .

The . I , I , perceiue well we were all abusd - La. se. Well what remedie ? Clem. Where is Lorenzo , and Prospero canst thou tell ? Mus. I sir , they are at supper at the Meeremaid , where I left your man . Clem.

Sirha goe warne them hether presently before me : and if the hower of your fellowes resurrection become bring him to . But forwarde , forwarde , when thou hadst beene at Thorrellos .

Exit seruant . Mus.

Marry sir ( comming along the streete ) these two gentlemen meet me , and very strongly supposing me to be your worships scribe , entreated me to procure them a warrant , for the arrest of signior Giulliano , I promist them vpon some paire of silke stockins or a iewell , or so , to do it , and to get a varlet of the citie to serue it , which varlet I appoynted should meete them vpon the Realto at such an houre , they no sooner gone , but I in a meere hope of more gaine by signior Giulliano , went to one of Satans old Ingles a broker , & there pauned your mans liuerie , for a varlets suite , which here with my selfe , I offer vnto your worships consideration .

Clem.

Well giue me thy hand : Proh . superi ingenium magnum quis noscit Homerum . Illias 〈◊〉 si latuisset opus ? I admire thee I honor thee , and if thy maister , or any man here be angry with thee , I shall suspect his wit while I know him for it , doe you heare Signior Thorello , Signior Lorenzo , and the rest of my good friendes , I pray you let me haue peace when they come , I haue sent for the two gallants and Hesperida , Gods marry I musi haue you friendes , how now ? what noyseis there ?

Enter seruant , then Peto . Ser. Sir it is Peto is come home . Cle.

Peto bring him hether , bring him hether , what how now signior drunckard , in armes against me , ha ? your reason your reason for this .

Pe. I beseech your worship to pardon me . Clem. Well , sirha tell him I do pardon him . Pe. Truly sir I did happen into bad companie by chance and they cast me in a sleepe and stript me of all my cloathes . Clem. Tut this is not to the purpose touching your armour , what might your armour signifie . Pe.

Marry first hung in the roome where they stript me , and I borrowed it of on of the drawers , now in the euening to come home in , because I was loth to come through the street in my shurt .

Enter Lorenzo iunior , Prospero , Hesperida . Clem.

Well disarme him , but it s no matter let him stand by , who be these ? oh young gallants ; welcome , welcome , and you Lady , nay neuer scatter such amazed lookes amongst vs , Qui nil potest sperare desperet nihil .

Pros.

Faith M. Doctor that s euen I , my hopes are smal , and my dispaire shal be as little . Brother , sister , brother what cloudy , cloudy ? and will noe sunshine on these lookes appeare , well since there is such a tempest towarde , i le be the porpuis , i le daunce : wench be of good cheare , thou hast a cloake for the rayne yet , where is he ? S'hart how now , the picture of the prodigal , go to i le haue the calfe drest for you at my charges .

Lo. se.

Well sonne Lorenzo , this dayes worke of yours hath much deceiued my hopes , troubled my peace , and stretcht my patience further then became the spirite of dutie .

Cle.

Nay Gods pitie signior Lorenzo you shal vrge it no more come since you are here , i le haue the disposing of all , but first signior Giulliano at my request take your cloake agayne .

Giu. Well sir I am content . Cle.

Stay now let me see , oh signior Snow-liuer I had almost forgotten him , and your Genius there , what doth he suffer for a good conscience to ? doth he beare his crosse with patience .

Mu. Nay they haue scarse one cros between them both to beare . Clem. Why doest thou know him , what is he ? what is he ? Mus. Marry search his pocket sir , and the●e shew you he is an Author Sir . Cle.

Dic mihi musa virum : are you an Author sir , giue me leaue a little , come on sir , i le make verses with you now in honor of the Gods , and the Goddesses for what you dare extempore ; and now I beginne .

Mount the my Phlegon muse , and testifie , How Saturne sitting in an Ebon cloud , Disrobd his podex , white as iuorie , And through the welkin thundred all aloud . there s for you sir. Pros. Oh he writes not in that height of stile . Clem. No : wee le come a steppe or two lower then . From Catadupa and the bankes of Nile , Where onely breedes your monstrous Crocodile : Now are we purposd for to fetch our stile . Pros. Oh too farre fetcht for him still maister Doctor : Clem. I , say you so , let s intreat a sight of his vaine then ? Pros. Signior , maister Doctor desires to see a sight of your vaine , nay you must not denie him . Cle.

What ; al this verse , body of me he carries a whole realme ; a common wealth of paper in his hose , let s see some of his subiects .

Vnto the boundlesse ocean of thy bewtie , Runnes this poore riuer , chargd with streames of zeale , Returning thee the tribute of my dutie : Which here my youth , my plaints , my loue reueale . Good ? is this your owne inuention ? Mat. No sir ; I translated that out of a booke , called Delia. C. Oh but I wold see some of your owne , some of your owne . Mat. Sir ; here s the beginning of a sonnet I made to my mistresse . Clem. That that : who ? to Maddona Hesperida is she your mistresse . Pros. It pleaseth him to call her so , sir. Clem. In Sommer time when Phaebus golden rayes . You translated this too ? did you not ? Pros. No this is inuention ; he found it in a ballad . Mat. Fayth sir ; I had most of the conceite of it out of a ballad indeede . Clem. Conceite , fetch me a couple of torches , sirha , I may see the conceite : quickly ? its very darke ? Giu. Call you this poetry ? Lo. iu. Poetry ? nay then call blasphemie , religion ; Call Diuels , Angels ; and Sinne , pietie : Let all things be preposterously transchangd . Lo. se. Why how now sonne ? what ? are you startled now ? Hath the brize prickt you ? ha ? go to ; you see , How abiectly your Poetry is ranckt , in generall opinion . Lo. iu. Opinion , O God let grosse opinion sinck & be damnd As deepe as Barathrum , If it may stand with your most wisht content , I can refell opinion and approue , The state of poesie , such as it is , Blessed , aeternall , and most true deuine : Indeede if you will locke on Poesie , As she appeares in many , poore and lame , Patcht vp in remnants and olde worne ragges , Halfe starud for want of her peculiar foode : Sacred inuention , then I must conferme , Both your conceite and censure of her merrite , But view her in her glorious ornaments , Attired in the maiestie of arte , Set high in spirite with the precious taste , Of sweete philosophie , and which is most , Crownd with the rich traditions of a soule , That hates to haue her dignitie prophand , With any relish of an earthly thought : Oh them how proud a presence doth she beare . Then is she like her selfe fit to be seene , Of none but graue and consecrated eyes : Nor is it any blemish to her fame . That such leane ▪ ignorant , and blasted wits , Such brainlesse guls , should vtter their stolne wares With such aplauses in our vulgar eares : Or that their slubberd lines haue currant passe , From the fat iudgements of the multitude , But that this barren and infected age , Should set no difference twixt these empty spirits , And a true Poet : then which reuerend name , Nothing can more adorne humanitie . Enter with torches . Clem.

I Lorenzo , but election is now gouernd altogether by the influence of humor , which insteed of those holy flames that should direct and light the soule to eternitie , hurles foorth nothing but smooke and congested vapours , that stifle her vp , & bereaue her of al sight & motion . But she must haue store of Ellebore , giuen her to purge these grosse obstructions : oh that s well sayd , giue me thy torch , come lay this stuffe together . So , giue fire ? there , see , see , how our Poets glory shines brighter , and brighter , still , still it increaseth , oh now it s at the highest , and now it declines as fast : you may see gallants , Sic transit gloria mundi . Well now my two Signior out sides , stand foorth , and lend me your large eares , to a sentence , to a sentence : first you signior shall this night to the cage , and so shall you sir , from thence to morrow morning , you signior shall be carried to the market crosse , and be there bound : and so shall you sir , in a large motlie coate , with a rodde at your girdle ; and you in an olde suite of sackcloth , and the ashes of your papers ( saue the ashes sirha ) shall mourne all day , and at night both together sing some ballad of repentance very pitteously , which you shall make to the tune of Who list to leade and a souldiers life , Sirha bil man , imbrace you this torch , and light the gentlemen to their lodgings , and because we tender their safetie , you shall watch them to night , you are prouided for the purpose . away and looke to your charge with an open eye sirha .

Bob. Well I am armd in soule agaynst the worst of fortune . Mat. Fayth so should I be , and I had slept on it . Pe. I am armd too , but I am not like to sleepe on it . Mus. Oh how this pleaseth me . Exeunt . Clem. Now Signior Thorello , Giulliano , Prospero , Biancha . Step. And not me sir. Clem.

Yes and you sir : I had lost a sheepe and he had not bleated , I must haue you all friends : but first a worde with you young gallant , and you Lady .

Giu.

Wel brother Prospero by this good light that shines here I am loth to kindle fresh coles , but and you had come in my walke within these two houres I had giuen you that you should not haue clawne of agayne in hast , by Iesus I had done it , I am the arrenst rogue that euer breathd else , but now beshrew my hart if I beare you any malice in the earth .

Pros.

Fayth I did it but to hould vp a iest : and helpe my sister to a husband , but brother Thorello , and sister , you haue a spice of the yealous yet both of you , ( in your hose I meane , ) come do not dwell vpon your anger so much , let s all be smoth fore headed once agayne .

Tho.

He playes vpon my fore head , brother Giulliano , I pray you tell me one thing I shall aske you : is my foreheade any thing rougher then it was wont to be .

Giu. Rougher ? your forehead is smoth enough man . Tho. Why should he then say ? be smoth foreheaded , Vnlesse he iested at the smothnesse of it ? And that may be ; for horne is very smoth ; So are my browes ? by Iesu , smoth as horne ? Bia. Brother had he no haunt thether in good fayth ? Pros. No vpon my soule . Bia. Nay then sweet hart : nay I pray the be not angry , good faith i le neuer suspect thee any more , nay kisse me sweet musse . Tho. Tell me Biancha , do not you play the woman with me . Bia. What s that sweete hart . Tho. Dissemble ? Bia. Dissemble ? Tho. Nay doe not turne away : but say I fayth was it not a match appoynted twixt this old gentleman and you ? Bia. A match . Tho.

Nay if it were not , I do not care : do not weepe I pray thee sweete Biancha , nay so now ? by Iesus I am not iealous , but resolued I haue the faythfulst wife in Italie .

For this I finde where iealousie is fed , Hornes in the minde , are worse then on the head . See what a droue of hornes flie in the ayre , Wingd with my cleansed , and my credulous breath : Watch them suspicious eyes , watch where they fall , See see , on heades that thinke they haue none at all . Oh what a plentuous world of this will come , When ayre raynes hornes , all men besure of some . Clem. Why that s well , come then : what say you are all agreed ? doth none stand out . Pros.

None but this gentleman : to whom in my owne person I owe all dutie and affection : but most seriously intreate pardon , for whatsoeuer hath past in these occurrants , that might be contrarie to his most desired content .

Lo. Fayth sir it is a vertue that persues , Any saue rude and vncomposed spirites , To make a fayre construction and indeede Not to stand of , when such respectiue meanes , Inuite a generall content in all . Clem.

Well then I coniure you all here to put of all discontentment , first you Signior Lorenzo your cares ; you , and you , your iealosie : you your anger , and you your wit sir : and for a peace offering , here s one willing to be sacrifised vppon this aulter : say do you approue my motion ?

Pros. We doe i le be mouth for all . Clem.

Why then I wish them all ioy , and now to make our euening happinesse more full : this night you shall be all my guestes : where wee le inioy the very spirite of mirth , and carouse to the health of this Heroick spirite , whom to honor the more I do inuest in my owne robes , desiring you two Giulliano , and Prospero , to be his supporters , the trayne to follow , my selfe will leaden , vsherd by my page here with this honorable verse . Claudite iam riuos pueri sat prata biberunt .

FINIS .