The anatomie of the Romane clergie: or, a discoverie of the abuses thereof. Written in Latine by sundrie authors of their owne profession. And translated into English verse by G.L.

THE ANATOMIE OF THE ROMANE CLERGIE : OR , A DISCOVERIE OF THE ABVSES THEREOF .

Written in Latine by sundrie Authors of their owne profession .

And Translated into English verse by G. L. Roma diu titubans , longis erroribus acta Corruet : & mundi desinet esse caput .

LONDON , Printed by Richard Field for Robert Mylbourne , and are to be sold at the great South doore of Pauls . 1623.

TO THE RIGHT HONORABLE AND WORTHIE Lady Elizabeth Viscountesse Anan , Lady Loghmaben , with all her other good graces , and vertuously deserued titles and honours . MADAME ,

THough the conscience of my owne vnworthinesse might haue sufficiently deterred me from this boldnesse , of offering these first & friuolous fruits of my muses labours at the shrine of your Ladiships diuine perfections , yet the hope of your gracious acceptance banishing my feares , did incourage me with this assurance , that as no darknes can remaine at the approch of the Sunne , so no erronious faults can be found or seene in those lines your Ladiships honourable eyes haue once ouershined : whereby I shall sleight the censures of carping Critickes , and laugh at the malice of malignant Momus , shadowed vnder the wings of your fauourable protection . In which securitie , my greatest happinesse I shall hold to be in your Ladiships honourable employment , which I shall study to deserue by some greater worke , till when I remaine ,

Your Ladiships most deuotely affected , G. L.

TO THE ROMANE Catholicke Readers .

GEntle Readers , let it not offend you , that I haue put forth in our Countrie language those things which long ago were published by men of your owne Religion and societie : It is not vnknowne to you what Ariosto that famous writer and learned Poet , borne in Lombardie , hath written in his Satires of the Court and Clergie of Rome , being familiar seruant for the time to Pope Leo the tenth : likewise Francis Petrarch Arch-Deacon of Parma a Florentine borne , who liued in the time of Benedict the twelfth , and being greatly esteemed in his Court , was earnestly sollicited by the said Pope , who offered to giue him a Cardinals Hat , if he would perswade his sister , a very faire young woman , dwelling in Auignion to prostitute her bodie to his desire , who was desperately in loue with her , the honest man abhorring his desire and the offer , made answer , that such a filthie Hat was not to be receiued vpon such an vnhonest condition ; and if it were not for the reuerence he bore to the Sea of Rome , he would make his penne paint forth his knauerie . After that being desired by some of his friends ( who had left the Citie ) to let them vnderstand the estate of the Towne there , he did write certaine Epistles sine titulo , not daring either name the writer , or to whom he wrote ; out of which I haue gathered the most remarkable things , and put forth to your reading in the best sort I could , as likewise the order of the Friers , written according to Virgils verse in forme of a Cento by Lelius Capilupus a Catholicke Romane : sundrie other verses are translated out of your owne Poets , such as Mantuanus and Palingenius , both famous men of your owne Religion . Now seeing I giue you no inuention , made either by my selfe or any other of your aduersaries , but that which was written many yeares since by men of your owne profession , most highly addicted to your Religion , I doubt not but you will excuse me , who lets you see by your owne writers , what abuses haue euer bene in that Church from the beginning , and daily do increase . Consider therefore with your selues , how miserably you are blinded by that Romane Antichrist , and pray to God to giue you the light of his Spirit , that you may see all those filthy errors , & turne to his true worship . Farewell .

Your wellwiller and friend , G. L.

THE ORDER OF THE Friers , written by Lelius Capilupus in Latine verse , and translated into English . I Am the man when others died for loue , Ille ego qui quondam dum gallus amore periret , &c. Who in the woods my verses did endite In Countrie rymes , which trifles then did proue : But now resolu'd a greater worke to write , Yet not such lyes as Virgill did inuent , Of Didoes death , and blam'd Anchises sonne : My song shall be of Friers multipotent , Who harbour grauitie within a gowne : Couragious men , yong , lustie , strong , and stout , Whose hearts and minds are from all labour free ; This will I sing , their prayses all ( no doubt ) By Mantoes helpe and pleasant harmony . Their first beginning . THeir race first came from Iupiter aboue , Capil . Ab Ioue principium generis , &c. If herein we may Histories beleeue : Yet not the lesse their constancie to proue , They were constrain'd like Hermites poore to liue In dens and caues , through woods and wildernesse : No house they had , no resting place at all , But wandring to and fro in great distresse , Did eate such fruite as from the trees did fall . Faire fountaine streames did serue to be their drinke : No wine was found amongst that companie , Of daintie fare they neuer once did thinke , Nor of such things as tempt to lecherie : All sober men , religious , chast , vpright . But who ( alas ) can chuse but these times rue , If he be pleased but to take a sight , And marke the new-brood of Friers holy crue . Their first Authour Saint Francis . DOwne from the skies a Saint came suddenly , Who did conuent this multitude most pure , Capil . Vnus qui nobis Deus oethere missus ab alto , &c. Charging them all from wildernesse to flie To ciuill Townes , where they might liue secure . Then like a raging torrent they ore ran All Europe , Asia , Affricke , and Indie , Possessing all this vniuerse , which then Seem'd insufficient them to satisfie . Thus changing desart woods , and flourie fields , For golden cloysters , Pallaces most faire , The youth enur'd to paine , to pleasure yeelds , When as they came where companie repaire : And casting off the wonted grauitie , Which their forefathers in the daies of old So much had vsde , clad with impietie , With open face grew impudently bold . Their ease . THeir chiefe care now is for to make good cheare , Capil . Ergo omni studio laeti conuiuia curant , &c. And by the fire to sit each winter night : And in the Sommer when the heauens looke cleare , Prouide a shadow from Apollos sight . In gownes they go , to keepe them from the cold , ( Or else to cloake their knaueries from being known ) And with a cowle or cap sow'd twenty fold , They arme themselues against the gout and stone . The late off spring . THis race ( immortall studies to maintaine Capil . At genus immortale , &c. The honour which their Predecessors wonne ) Rare document , and orders did ordaine , With offices and roomes for euery one , Like magistrates who rule a ciuill Towne : Some are prefer'd to guide the holy band , Some for the Church and seruice vp and downe : Some with the Priest must at the Altar stand , One , must receipt of gifts officiate , Another for to dresse their gardens well . One must be porter of the cloyster gate , To keepe them in from Nuns , if flesh rebell : They are all shorne , both on the pate and chin . Bigge bellied , bacon backt , as fat as swine , With daintie cates they gorge their guts within , All nosde like turkie-cocks with drinking wine . Their Orders . BVt though I had an hundred tongues and moe , Capil . Sed neque quam multae species , &c. I could not tell how many sorts there be , Nor shew the names and orders which do flow From this wast Sea in their posteritie . Their Mattins . WHen this vile crew hath soundly slept all night From beds of softest downe then vp they rise , Capil . Omne adeo genus in terris , &c. At sound of sacred bels when day growes light , And go to Church where each rare Relique lies : With great denotion when they Mattins sing , The Priest begins all clad in purest white , Whose roaring voice , makes all the Church to ring : The rest to answer him againe delight . This being done he to the Altar goes , And reckons vp a thousand Saints at once : From his hoarse throate , & speaking through his nose Thrise crying loud with many fained grones , We be the cause of all our miserie , Oh holy Sire whom no place can containe , Thy glorious name be praisd eternallie : Let vs once see thy countenance againe , Since we thy holy issue are indeed , And our first fathers from the heauens descended , Be alway present with vs in our need , And take vs to thee when this life is ended . Their Masse . HEre are the reliques Lord , which that last night , Capil . Stant aras circum puraque in vestesacerdos , &c. Thou left behind , when men thy death decreed : Here is that Altar euer in our sight , Vpon the which we breake the holy bread . O Sonne of God , why see I now thy face , With bloudie wounds deformed all about : And skin so rent with scarres in euery place , From hellish fire to hold thy seruants out . The damned fiends do tremble at thy sight , And all the host of that infernall pit . Thou with thy Father mak'st our suite go right , And we with God himselfe at banquets sit . Oh heare our cries and to our plaints giue eare , Most holy Virgine , vndefil'd and chaste , Mother of grace , request thy Sonne to heare Our prayers , and on earth let vs haue rest . This being done , the bread he takes in hand , And turnes it vp and downe with apish toyes , And that he sayes no man can vnderstand , His mind is so bereft with sudden ioyes . At last the holy Host he breakes in peeces , And swallowes it all greedily at once : Which time , to beate his breast he neuer ceasses , And sadly sigheth forth his forged grones . The Calix next he sighing holdeth vp , While all the people bowing downe their heads , Sit muttering ( what , they know not ) to the cup And pray out all the number of their beads . When in his swagging belly he doth put ( As he affirmes ) the bodie of his God , The cup he empties in his fasting gut , At which , the stupid multitude doth nod . At last he sprinkles all about the Altar , And on the people , as they sit and pray , His diuel-driuing coniur'd holy water : This done , bids them depart and go away . The Friers preaching . AN aged Frier , or old Father goes Capil . Consurgit senior diuosque in vota voca . mit , &c. Vp to the pulpit in a Reuerent pace , Where while he stands ( all white with yeares ) he showes , As if he were the mirrour of all grace : And there declares the torments of the hels , And how th' Assyrians tower did ayme at heauen . Of miracles a thousand iests he tels , With some true tales , to make his lyes go euen . He threatens then the rusticke people all , With plagues and sicknesse which will them infest , With tempests , raine , which on them hee 'le make fall : And that with famine they shall be opprest . What shall they do , the sillie people crie , And keepe a wofull murmur in the place , The women prostrate on their faces lie , And earnestly intreate the Saints for grace . He rests a space , and then begins againe , More soberly , and stretching forth his arme , Holds vp a rod , whose vertues he doth faine , To be mostrare , gainst sorceries and charmes . With this ( saies he ) the soules I can recall , That are condemn'd to Purgatorie fiers . Downe at his feete the people kneeling fall , Suing for pardon to their buried siers . Then he begins with euery one apart , To heare Confession how they led their liues , And they declare the secrets of their heart , As he demands , both children , men and wiues . Such as bring gifts of siluer or of gold , Or other things to serue their appetite , He them absolues from all misdeeds of old ; And pardons freely all their errours quite . But they from whom ( poore soules ) he nought receiues To Purgatorie must , with woe and shame , And to the diuell their soules he carelesse leaues , To be tormented in that purging flame . Their Dinner . THis Sermon done , to Cloister he retires , Capil . Ordine ahoena locant alij flammasque ministrant , &c. Where all the rest for dinner do attend . Great worke is made to fill the hungrie Friers : They euery man to seuerall office send . Some in the kitchin turning spits are set , Well granished with store of daintie fare , Some from the Butler do the Naprie get : Each to discharge his dutie hath a care . Meane while the gourmonds stand with greedie eyes , Readie to eate vp very boords and all , In expectation till their Prior rise , And from his cabin shewes himselfe i' th hall . At last he comes , Lord of that rabling rout , Capil . Tum pater omnipotens , &c. Attended on with store of companie , A foule fat monstrous Lubber , full o' th gout : Whose length and breadth of one dimension be . His backe and bellie both of equall roundnesse , He tumbleth forward like an emptie tunne , Whose vast concauitie doth sound profoundnesse , Not to be fill'd before the euenings Sunne . Him all admire , and stand about his seate , Capil . Illeregit dictis animos , &c. He charges them to peace when falne at strife . If any proue offending , he doth threat , Perpetuall prison shall consume their life . Remember ( saies he ) wonted miserie In former time , your hunger thirst and cold , And how ye now swim in felicitie , In ease and pleasure , health , wealth , full of gold . This is the way to heauen which we now leade : Go to , then all , and thanke the God aboue , Who makes you now vpon these meates to feed . Then to their roomes all instantly remoue , Each one makes haste that he may first sit downe , And who shall haue his hand first in the dish , Belching like basest Hinde and rudest clowne , Throughout the house , and still for more they wish . Some picke the bones , some licke the fallen crummes , Some sit carousing in the German sort . When all is done , and no more victuall comes , This gracelesse band i th fields themselues disport . Their pastime . THere they begin to wantonnize and play , Among the woods and pleasant running springs , Capil . Ceu quondam niuei liquida inter flumina , &c. With sundrie exercises all the day , And euery man his instrument forth brings . Some for to fish with nets , and lines layed out , Others to hunt , bring grayhounds for the Hare , Some set their snares for fowles that flie about , And others to the flowrie meades repaire . Whereas they iumpe , and dance , and loudly sing , Laugh , tumble , sport , and liue in iollitie , That all the neighbouring woods with ecchoes ring : Filled with the clamors of that companie . But if it chance that any man of fame , Should come to see their merrie exercise , Then all the troupe do hide themselues for shame , And backe into the Cloysters each man flies . The begging Friers . OVt of the towne the begging Friers flie , The Countries charitie and helpe to craue , Capil . Discurrunt alij ad portas . &c. Who with their lies and glosing flatterie , Get store of meate , such as the people haue . Both bread , meale , butter , oyle , and fruite , and cheese , Which they lay vp in store for winters night : And thus they worke like waspes , not hony bees , From Phoebus rise , till Cynthia shewes her sight . Funerals . TO funerals when they are charg'd to go , Capil . Iampridem resides aegrisque effusa iuuontus , &c. This wanton flocke is readie at command , And there they march along two in a row , With each a burning taper in his hand . What sort of creatures may we deeme this kind , Who sing for ioy , when all the rest so weepe ? When others sigh , they haue content of mind , And for their gaine , still wish moe thus to sleepe . Their Supper . WHen this is done , to Cloyster they returne , Capil . Deuexo interea propior fit rerper olympo , &c. There stay a while , till suppers on the boord , Their halls all stor'd with lights that flaming burne , And eu'ry gallerie with lampes decor'd , They make good cheare , & drink good beere & wine Of diuerse sorts , the best the countrey yeelds . Which done , the elder to their nests incline , The younger saine a walking to the fields : But when o'recome with heauie sleepe and wine , Their holie fathers slumber out the night , The Youngsters and the Sisters so diuine , Haue secret meetings for their youths delight . The Nuns . THe holy Nuns , like Danae in her Tower , Capil . Pectora maerentem tenebru & carcere caeco , &c. With hundred doores and barres are shut vp fast , Garded with Beldames , yet there comes a showre Of lustie gallants scales the fort at last . Some much haue wondred , and indeed they may , How Cloystred virgins , from the world exil'd , Who neuer ceasse , nor day nor night to pray , Should with the wind , conceiue and haue a child : Where of a sacred seed doth spring ( no doubt ) And ouerflowes earths spacious face we see : For from the vaults of Cloysters there comes out A race most rare , conceiu'd most wondrously . The Authors farewell to all the Orders . NOw fare you well , with all your seuerall sects , Who thus abound in all prosperitie : Capil . Salut vera Ioun proles , &c. You are the Saints , whom euery man respects , And honours most throughout all Italie . In doubtfull things your counsell they do craue , As from the Delphian Oracle of old , And gladly your responses do receiue , Trusting as truth it selfe what you haue told . Your care is all in Cloysters close to lie , And keepe the Saints from all corruption sure , When we in armes ( I do you not enuie ) Must watch all night , that you may sleepe secure . Would I were but the meanest of your traine , To keepe your gate , or sweepe your sacred floores , Where I in safetie henceforth might remaine , Within the compasse of your walles and doores . Most happie , ye , the sonnes of mightie Ioue , Who liue in mirth , while other men do mourne , We must be gone , where raging Mars doth roue , Whose eyes shoote lightning , all the world to burne : So great dissention rises euery day , Among the Kings and Princes of this age , That Europe quakes in this most fearefull fray , To see the terror of Bellonas rage . The misbeleeuing sonne of Gog Magog , The great Turke . With troupes past number boasts to tread vs downe , And all the followers of that faithlesse dog , Vow to o're runne vs with their horned moone : But you his awfull threats do neuer feare , Nor are you mou'd , but liue at quiet ease , And bid your Nuns sleep sound , & make good cheare With open gates , at midnight if they please . O blest are you , how euer matters go Throughout the world , your wealth and honors last , Your worthie praises I will euer show , And sing your orders equall to the best . An addition by the Translator . THere is a monster strange begot of late , Betwixt a begging Frier and a Nun , Whose subtiltie hath troubled Europes state , And sowing iarres , all Princes hath vndone . His shaueling followers do him deifie , As he were God , and Lord of sea and land : For he ( but stay there ) most impetuously , For supreme power and highest seate doth stand . Of this vile stocke a filthy race is sprong , Which ouer-rules the land of Italy , And in new Rome hath sway'd the Scepter long , By witchcraft , incest , and foule Sodomie . Some call him Pope , some father of the Saints , Some say he is Christs Vicar , left behind : The knaue himselfe most arrogantly vaunts , That he in heauen can loose , in hell can bind . Such is the power he hath the world throughout , With triple crowne when he in chaire doth sit , Kings , Emperours , and great Monarkes all about , Most humbly come , to kisse his foote , as fit . This monster now in Europe doth command , And to the Inds his putent power 's extended , So that no King , nor Prince dare once withstand The torrent of his wrath when he 's offended , This Prelates pride I cannot all declare , Nor gorgeous pompe , which daily doth increase With Cardinals , who Kings companions are , Whom to enrich , poore Princes states decrease . When hels great Monarch ended hath his life , The Cardinals conuent to chuse another , Whose holy meetings oft are mar'd with strife , Which to appease , they take some Frier brother . This done , they carrie him through all the Towne , High mounted on Priests shoulders magnifi'd , Then in a chaire vnbottom'd set him downe , Where his humanitie is search'd and tride , Because an English wench them once beguild , Platina de vitis Pontific . Roman &c. Who in disguise vnto the Popedome came , And with a Frier the holy See defil'd : Hauing a child to Romes eternall shame . On solemne dayes , when he his Masse would make , Two Cardinals do carrie vp his traine , The multitude attends him at the backe , Till he be set in state , they throng amaine , And while in pompe he sitteth in his chaire , They bring him wine and consecrated bread : Such is , his pride , he will not do it bare , Lest some mischance befall his mitred head . Many strange tricks this hell-hound he deuises , Setting his neighbours all at great debate . To warre and Armes all Princes he entices , That he may liue in a more quiet state . If any Prince this demidiuell offend , Or wrong his seruants in the lightest sort , Witnesse the two last kings of France . Incontinent his bloud-hounds he will send , Friers disguis'd , and make his life pay for 't . And then giue pardon to the murderer , And as a Saint him canonise , as right : Men must adore the bloudie furtherer Of his damn'd plots , which euen his soule * * Witnes the tapistry hangings in his parlour at Rome , wherin the description of the massacre at Paris is gorgeously set out . delight . What shall we say , but pray the God of peace , Soone to confound this Antichrist of Rome , Whose rage and mischiefe is not like to ceasse , Against th' annointed , till he get his doome , To go to hell with all his companie , There to remaine in that abhorred place , And suffer tortures euerlastingly , Without all future hope of after grace .

CERTAINE VERSES TAKEN OVT OF THE EPISTLES of Francis Petrarch , Archdeacon of Parma , which were sine titulo , written to his friend whom he might not name for feare of the Romane Clergie . MY friend , you craue to vnderstand Epist. 8. New Romes estate in this our Land : My pen cannot such skill obtaine , Nor Cicero , if liue againe , Of that great Court t' expresse the glory Vnparallel'd by any storie . For , what you ere haue read of old , Or by report hath bene you told , Of Babylon that Towre of pride , Where the Caldeans did abide , Or of the vncouth Labyrinthes foure , Possessed by the Minotaure , Or of Auernus filthie floud , Or of the Lake where Sodome stood , Compar'd with this , they are but fables , Reported by some fooles at tables . Here is blaspheming Nimrod seene , Here is Semyramis the Queene : Here Minos sits as Iudge most fell , And Radamantus scourge of hell : Foule Cerberus the gate doth keepe , Pasiphae with the Bull must sleepe , Whereof proceeds a monstrous race , Where Minotaurus keepes the place . So to be short , in former time , What Poets haue set forth in ryme , Of monsters which before came out , In it are seene to go about . Thy vertue brought thee to renowne , Most happie thou that left'st the Towne . If you suppose the Citie be In the same forme you did it see , You are deceiu'd much in that case , Although it stands in that same place . Of old it did abound with euils , But now it is a den of diuels , A sinke of sinne , a gulfe of paine , For those that still in it remaine . Ceasse to admire , when as I call This Babylon the chiefe of all : Where can that Tower be placed best , Epist. 10. But in the quarters of the West , Inhabited as we now see , By people full of villanie ? Beleeue me well , here in it dwels A Tyrant who in pride excels , More cruell then Cambyses King , Or the great Turke , whose wrath doth ring . Here are strange labrinthes in great store , Mens soules in darknesse to deflore . Here Venus with her wanton toyes , Is honour'd with base bauds and boyes : Adultrie , whoredome and incest , Is honour'd here among the best . And counted but for sports and playes , Euen with our Prelats of these dayes . The wife is rauish'd from her spouse , And to the Papall seate she bowes . The poore good man must leaue the Towne , Such ordinances are set downe : And when her bellie riseth hie , By Cardinals who with her lye , The husband must not dare complaine , But take his wife with child againe . All vertue is trod vnder foote , And out of doores all truth is shut : Where one mans fauour is so sought , And with such flatterie dearely bought : Where bad men are esteemed best , And the poore iust man sore opprest : The God of heauen is chac't away , And gold and siluer beare the sway . Gold is the salue for euery sore , It makes proud kings to bragge no more . By gold heau'n gates are open set , And who giues most , doth pardon get . Euen Christ himselfe for gold is sold , And miracles wrought manifold . Came Iudas to this Court most trimme , Epist. 17 : Bringing his thirtie pence with him , He 'le be more welcome by Saint Steuen , Then all the Saints that are in heauen . The Church of Christ , which was the place From whence did flow all health and grace , To tell the truth my heart it grieues , It s now become a den of theeues . Our Epicures with ducking nods , Do mocke Religion , scorne the Gods . Of heauenly ioyes when they heare tell , And of the paines that are in hell , They thinke it but a merrie iest , Deuised by some idle Priest . The resurrection of the dead , And to be iudg'd by Christ our head , They hold them but as fained visions , Dreames of old wiues or apparitions . If God of heauen do not preuent Epist. 11 & 13. The perils which are imminent , His house shall be in danger brought , And all his worship turnd to nought : I plainly see , I dare not say , What trechrous meanes and subtill way , This Dionysius hath in heart , Our Syracusa to subuert : And what a miter made of lead , Semyramis puts on her head , For to enchant her louers so , That to her vile embracements go , Whereby all men of honest hearts , Are fled and banisht from these parts . The Romans vsed of old t' eschue Such places where most pleasure grew : So bent they were in all degree , To traine their youth vp vertuouslie . Since so it is , who will not then Flie farre from Babylon , that den , Where mischiefe and all infamie Doth reigne and rage continually . I speake of things seene with mine eyes , Not heard by eares , nor tales , nor lyes . Thus farre I briefly haue set downe , The Court of Rome , state of our Towne , Epist. 18. To you my friend , though not so plaine , As by mens liues that heare remaine You might discerne and plainly see The whole abuse of this Citie . Wherefore in end I you exhort , Take this for truth which I report ; If of thy soule thou hast a care , Let not thy mind thinke to come there Where neuer man could learne or see True vertue no nor pietie . FINIS .

EPITAPHES AND EPIGRAMS of Popes , Monkes , and Friers , translated out of diuerse Authours . THE EPITAPH OF POPE CLEment the seuenth , fixed on his tombe at Rome . THe fatall sisters now you see , Sylua quae reg no bapistico Thomae Naogeorgi accessit Haue taken from this life Pope Clement who by periurie , Was authour of great strife . Therefore reioyce all liuing wights , Clementemeripuit nobis clementia fati , &c. For this was eu'n the man Who did deceiue the Towne by sleights , And all the world o'reran . This was the man no word could keepe , To Princes nor to Kings , Although he had sworne ner'e so deepe , And promised great things . This was the man who vex'd the Land With taxes , tributes sore , And gathered vp with greedie hand The Countrie goods in store . This was the man who ran about , And rag'd with warre and bloud , Putting his owne estate in doubt , to gaine vncertaine good . This was the man who would not spare To set his house on fire , If that by murdering here and there , He might haue his desire . This was the man that spoil'd the Towne , And many widdowes made , By shedding bloud both vp and downe , Of those that in it stayed . This was the man with sword that chac't The Duke of Vrbin so , And tooke his house , and lands defac'd , And made him hence to go . This was the man without all cause , O Rome that brought to thee , Both sword and plague , and cruell lawes , Such was his courtesie . This was the man that fostred bauds , And brothels first set downe : Who brought in boyes and handsome lads , A filthie thing in Towne . Euen this was he who in his life , Into the world brought shame , And euery yeare did stirre vp strife , With ignominious name . Scorned was God by this vile Lowne , Who had nor faith nor troth : All pollicie he wrested downe , And did all goodnesse loath . Whiles he did liue all things were deare throughout all Italie : Yet for all that he would not heare The peoples miserie . The famine that in Rome was then , He counted his best gaine : And seemed pleasd ( vnhappie man ) With his owne subiects paine . Infortunate he thought himselfe , That he could not destroy The world , and scrape all worldly pelfe , Which was his chiefest ioy . Thus liuing in a tedious life , By sicknesse sore agast , He lay with the Physitians strife To helpe his dayes to last . Oft times he wished death to see : The destinies said no : They tooke delight most cruelly More to torment him so . For his reward he knew , in hell A thousand stripes to get : What he did merit to him fell , Like end a like life met . At last the Tyrant left this light , Now Citizens go cast His filthie carkasse out of sight , Let Rauens deuour't at last . Be blith , the happie day is seene , Long wished for before : Make sports and plaies both morne and euen , And sorrow now no more . Let this be counted as a day most holy euery yeare , That your posteritie may say , Now we may no more feare . As Kings were banished of old , By consuls from this place : So now we shall no more behold This cruell Neroes face . FINIS . The Epitaph of Alexander the third , by Sanazer . STay passenger a space , thy wearied limbes to ease , Fortasse nescicuius hic tumulus fiet , adsta viator , &c. Perhaps thou know'st not who lies here intomb'd , stay if you please : T is not great Philips sonne , that all the world subdu'd , But Alexander filthie Pope , in bloudshed all embru'd . Great Kingdomes he o'rethrew , and Cities turn'd to nought , All to aduance his bastard brood , a world of mischiefe brought . This Land with fire and sword he vtterly destroid : And to subuert Gods Lawes and mans , his care he all employ'd : That he more freely might ( ô filthie to be told ) Incestuously enioy the child his lust begot of old . Yet he for all this sate & rul'd proudly the papall Sea Eleu'n yeares , as great Pope and head in sole supremacie . Speake not of cruell Kings , old tyrants do not name , Caligula came short of him , and Heliogablus shame . The rest for modestie I cannot well declare , Suppose the worst , set on thy way , I wish thee well to fare . The Epitaph of Paule the fourth . HEre lyes vnhappie Carrafa , abhor'd of God and Pasquill . man , His soule I feare to hell , his corps to graue fast ranne . No peace on earth he could abide , no honour done to God : The people and the Cleargie both , he vext at home , abroad . To enemies he yeelded soon , his friends helou'd in iest What would ye more ? he was a Pope as false as all the rest . Epitaph of Pius the second . HEre do the bones of talking Pius lye , Kliberius . Frigida membra Pij retinet lapis iste , &c. Who by his death brought peace to Italie : Nations he sold , and many crymes vnfit , He vnder shew of vertue did commit . 10. Sapidus in Sixtum . HEre Sixtus lyes , the bauds lament his fall , Whores , dice , and wine , haue lost a father all . Sixte facet tandem deslent tua busta cynaedi . Hoc iacet in tumulo Lucretia nomine , sed re Thais , &c. Papa Pius quintus moritur , &c. Epitaph of Lucrece Pontanus . LVcrece by name , Thais indeed , lyes vnderneath this stone , Pope Alexanders daughter faire , his sonnes wife , and his owne . Epitaph of Pius the fifth . Plus the fifth is dead , how wondrous is t to heare ? That onely fiue 'mongst such a crue , th' Almightie God did feare ? EPIGRAMES . Mantuanus of Sixtus 4. in hell . BAld pated rescall thou , who liued'st onely At tu Impluine caput cui tanta licentia , &c. To surfet in thy filthie lecherie , Thinkst thou thy myter can thy doings couer , Or make vs now to be theirs or thy louer ? Pope Ioane being with child coniuring the diuell had this answer . THou mother of Popes bring forth this popish Papa pater patrum papisse pandito partum , &c. birth , And then I le freely tell thee , when I le come forth on earth . Marullus in Innoc. 8. WHat need this toyle , to trie this Pope a man , Quid quaeritu testes sit mas an faemina , &c. Behold his of-spring clearely if ye can : Eight sonnes , as many daughters he begat , Rome needs not doubt , his sect wer 't but for that . Pontanus of Alexander 6. POpe Alexander sold the Altars , Christ and crosses , Vendit Alexander cruces altarea , &c. Why not , he bought them all before ; t' was to make vp his losses . Albericus de Rosata . THe Court of Rome , disdaines a sheepe without the Curia Romana non capit ouens sine lana , &c. skin , All they that bring are welcome guests , who bring nought come not in . Conradus Grebelius of Iulius 2. CAn he be good , that was sonne to a Genoweys , Genua cui patrem , &c. Begot vpon a Grecian dame , and borne i' th raging seas ? Ligurians are all false , Greeks all men liers call , The Seas inconstant : Iulio , in thee we see them all . Pasquillus . WIth bauds and whores Pope Iulius & Sextus both were led , And Leo with foule Sodomies defil'd his loathed bed . Clement with furies vexed was , for filthy gotten gaine : Clementem furiae vexant , &c. What hope of any good in thee ? Paul shall with vs remaine . Mantuanus of the Citie . IF thou wouldst liue a godly life , from Rome flie farre Viuere qui sancte cupitis discedit Roma , &c. away , All villany in it is vsed , here goodnesse hath no sway . Nothing is here now to be found , but fained lies and mockes , For which they daily bring in gold , to fill the Churches boxe . Vertue is banisht from this Towne , all honestie is gone : And wickednesse and vices now possesse the Romane throne . Pasquillus of Paule 4. What furie moues thee to take armes , in thy declining yeares ? Old Carrafa thou' rt aged now , & age is full of feares . The campe thou dost not know so well , as Cloysters exercise , Thou wantst the nerues of warre , that 's gold , to make the souldiers rise . Why putst thou on thy head and backe , such heauie armes as those Which thy weake bodie cannot beare , being vsde to better clothes ? Why troublest thou this wofull land , with wounds yet groning sore ? And dost appall the God of warre , to proue his valor more ? Giue rest we pray thee to thy flockes , and let vs liue in peace , Our holy father if thou be , and from thy battels ceasse . Lay off thy weighty loade of armes , remember Christ his word , Which he vnto Saint Peter spake , when he did vse his sword . The Popes answer . THe words which Christ to Peter spoke , are no wayes said to me , You do mistake ( by Peters leaue ) you are deceiu'd , I see For why , I no way do succeed to Peter in that case , As many in the world haue thought , since I vsurpt his place . The name of Paul I haue tane on , his armour with his name , And follow him in euery thing , ere his conuersion came . Christs words I do remember well , to me they nothing are , I came into the world in peace , but for to stir vp war . Gilberti Ducerij Epigram de Iul. 2. WHen holy Iulius to the field did go , Cum contra Gallos , &c. Against the Gaules , as old reports do show : Each day the Citie sounding loud alarmes , He mustred forth great troupes in glistring armes , And in a rage before the peoples eyes , In Tibers streames did throw the holy keyes : Then pulling out his sword , he madly sayes , Against the French my foes , since now adayes Saint Peters keyes cannot secure my state , Pauls sword all controuersies shall debate . Io. Pannomus . ONce in thy Church , S. Peter , as we reade , Foemina Petretua quondam ausa sedere Cathedra , &c. A woman rul'd , and did possesse thy chaire , Vntill a Frier her holinesse did leade Into the Conclaue to the euening prayer : But her deuotion turnd to youthfull pleasure , All are not Saints that outwardly seeme holy , She in the sport did ioy beyond all measure , Till time made vp the fruites of louing follie . Then what a griefe procur'd the great disgrace , To all who thought her father of the Saints ? She shamefully was hurled from the place , And euer since Romes policie preuents The like mishap ; they now the Pope do place In a rich chaire , hollow and bottomlesse , Where priuately ( to shun future disgrace ) By natures marks his manhood they expresse . But some to cleare the doubt and shun suspects , Before they come to climbe the Papall throne , Giue full assurance of their manly sexe , And make themselues first father of a sonne . Cordus lib. 2. Epigram in Iul. 2. WHen Iulius ended here this mortall life , Mortuus ad superum , &c. To heauen ( t is said he went ) but came too late , Two keyes he had , with which he kept a strife , To trie if those could ope the sacred gate : But all in vaine , the locke did it withstand , Nor would acknowledge his supremacie . Saint Peter hearing him , came to demand What sinfull mortall knockt so saucily . The Pope said , Peter , knowest thou not my name ? Looke on my crowne and slippers all of gold . Begone sayes Peter , you are much too blame , To claime a title in the thing you sold . Stigelius in Sylua . AMonke there was who in a night did beare , Per lunam monachui gradu citato , &c. By Moone-shine light a Leman to his bed , Vnder his gowne , and no suspect did feare , He thought she was so closely couered . By chance a Frier meets him in the way , Whose iealous eyes discries the wenches feete , He to the Monke in merrinesse did say , What load is that which makes you so to sweat ? He answers , t is a saddle I did borrow , From one of my acquaintance dwels hard by , For I must ride a little way to morrow , Of some reports the certaintie to trie . The Frier hearing what a fine excuse The youth had forg'd , streight replies againe , A little of my counsell prethie vse Before thou go'st , it shall not be in vaine . Let no man see what carriage you haue there , Nor know what furniture you do prouide , Lest some of your companions do prepare Themselues with you vpon your mare to ride . Cordus lib. 6. Epigram . SIxe Monkes together sitting on a draught , Sex vna monachi dum considere , &c. Began to thinke vpon their miseries , And how the world at all their Orders laught , Scoffing their persons , slighting their Decrees . Mong'st whom was one that seem'd to rule the rest , An aged father , whose old ioynts did shake , He from the bottome of his grieued breast , Fetching a sigh , thus to his brethren spake . What though our stubburne flockes do run astray , And for a time their shepheards do forsake , Yet let vs neuer ceasse to God to pray , That he some pittie of our state may take . For since the Lord doth see his seruants wrong , And will prouide to keepe them free from hurt , Hee le take vs vp to heauen e're it be long , And drowne the heretickes into this durt . This hauing said , the boords began to cracke , The rotten floares fall from the walls and staires , The Monks all tumbling downe lie on their backs , And striue in vaine , so heauen had heard their prayers . Cordus lib. 6. Epigram . A Countrie wench confessing once her sins , In time of Lent vnto a Cordelier , Funigero peccata fatens virguncula fratri , &c. And from a long concealed thought begins , To speake , but hardly could she speake for feare : He still exhorted her for to discouer The secret secrecie of all her thought , Affirming plainly , if she stroue to smother The least offence , it would to light be brought . The wench amazd , at last begins to say , Last night , good Sir , at midnight I espi'd One of your brothers as asleepe he lay , A bed stretcht close downe by my mistris side . The Frier mad to heare her speake so plaine , Sayes , filthy hypocrite , dar'st thou this say , Thy mistris reputation thus to staine , It was S. Francis t' whom she then did pray , He that makes all our suits in heauen go right , Of whom we haue our Order and our name , Who heares our cries by day , and sighes by night , T' was he that in my brothers habit came . The wench replied , then be what Saint he will , He left his hose behind him in the place : If Saints of heauen weare clothes , I haue no skill , I 'm but an ignorant in such a case . Take heed ( the Frier saies ) thou do not touch Those holy things , which relickes we do call , And do pertaine but onely vnto such As are confirmed in the Orders all . Tomorrow to the Church they shall be carried , As sacred relickes still to be adored , By all such fruitlesse women as be married , And haue no issue , then they shall be stored . FINIS .

The Translators farewell to those of the Church of Rome . THus in the rudenesse of our vulgar phrase , My rurall Muse these lines hath harshly sung : Neither for enuie , gaine , nor hope of praise , As some perhaps may thinke , who do me wrong . For I protest my heart was euer free , I malice no man nor affect no name , The heauens that know my thoughts my witnesse be , I neuer hunted so much after fame . What herein I haue said , was said before , By those who members of your Church did liue , And such whose learning made the times adore Their worth , and due respects vnto them giue . There 's nothing here which you can say I picke From out the railing libels ( as you stile them ) Or poysoned writings of an hereticke , Whom you so hate , and furiously reuile them . Then gently pardon , all that I haue done Your Churches dearest nurslings haue approued , Whose eyes enlightened by the truest Sunne , Oft wisht those clouds of errours were remoued . And that the Church , all darknesse swept away , At length , though late , might clearely see the day . FINIS .

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