IS the outside of a Statesman a little more gaily trimd vp , and as he is ●…epleat with internall indowments , so this is compleat with externall Complement . Hee is a man so courteous , that hee cannot deny you any thing , and so carelesse after his grant , that he will performe nothing . One whom your Taylor is much bound to for his new fashion ( which is his prime study ) and he reciprocally for his Taylors faith , ( which neuer goes without works ) both which concurre together till the day of account , and then he is deferr'd till doomesday , or else presently paid with a Priuilege . Hee hath more deuices vpon a new Doublet , than Ouid had verses , and those as Geometricall , as his naturall . He spares for no cost whilest he may be credited ; and when that failes , he fals vpon some full-mouth'd Lady , whose marke hath beene long out ; where he stil preyes but seld , or neuer praies for ought but her death . Hee is composed onely of two Elemens , Ayre and Fire , Leuity and Choler , hauing the predominance , wanting water and earth , humidity and solidity , and holds nothing more ignoble than the defect of formality . His Barber and his beard doe hold a faire and euen Correspondency , and agree aswell as his head with its Perriwig , of which , how carefull he is , the doffing his Beauer wi●…l discouer , euen from Ludgate Hill ( if he dares come so nye it ) to Chairing Crosse , his more secure walke . His Congees are so common , that few care for them , and his bodye's most lowly , when his mind 's most lofty : Cupid is his key , Venus his deuotion , and Mercury his messenger , whilst he cornutes lame Vulcan : You may smell him before you see him , and see him long enough before you know him . Hee is oftentimes his his owne admirer , and thinks himselfe the onely obiect of others , whilst they thinke him their abiect . In briefe , his tongue and his heart are most commonly as great strangers , as his hands and his actions , or his large promises & lame performances .

IS a man much giuen to libels , or rather libels to him , and ( which is much ) is priuiledg'd to receiue them , and proues a gainer by the hand . Hee trades much in Will and Inuentory ( the Relicks of the dead ) which he files with much felicity , and howeuer the Executour ●…peeds , hee is still of the taking hand : He lookes not so much to the performance of the Will , as the payment of his Fees , and visits the wife of the next Vicarage . Hee hath many foule cases layd open before him , and hee as soundly canuasses them ; by the which he acquires a faire purse , and a foule Conscience . Basterdy and Bawdery are his chiefe rents , and incontinency and whoredome his Farmers ; and ( which is strange ) he liues by that , for which all men dye , ( Sinne. ) Hee hath many Visitations , which hee beares very patiently , in regard of the sweet Cordials accrewing therby . He is your hasty youths , and and yonger Scollers Oracle , who daily worship him for his speedy licence , that they may both presently enter into their Pulpits , and he into their purses . Hee is one that shall excommunicate you , ipso facto , for fiue shillings , and absolue you immediately , ex officio , for three shillings foure pence . In briefe , He is the Bishops mouth , the Bawds eare , the Sinners absolution , the Whores purgatory , the Diocesan Mountebanke , the Church-wardens terror , the Parsonages friend , and the Parsons superuisor , with whose wife I now leaue him till the next Visitation .

IS Salomons abiect , debar'd euery wise mans Table , not so much for his gluttony , as his glozing . He is ingendred by Pride , hatcht vp by arrogance , and perpetually fostred by fooles ( the Anuils on which hee still beates ) who by reason of their insensibility obserues not his insinuation , but are presently puft vp with those Peacockestayles he stickes in their foreheads . Greatnesse neuer goes without this applausiue Puppet , and goodnesse neuer can abide him , there being a kinde of Antipathy between them . His tongue is in the Eare of euery affectator , and then neuer further from his owne heart . Folly and popularity are his prime obiects , and he is still present where they predominate . He cannot be truely generous , for he is a slaue to others mens humours , a thing contrary to a true birth , or a true heart . His greatest pride is , that he onely thinkes other men beleeue him : his greatest pleasure that hee can laugh at them in 's sleeue ; and his greatest profit is picking of thankes : hee hath more wit then wisedome , and more garru●… , then grace . He is a great obseruer of mens fancy that hee ma●…●…it his lyre to that tune . All men in the ●…nd hate him , and hee goes out like a snuffe . His Conscience accuses him that hee hath praisd Men more then God , and consequently got praise of neither ; which hath so deiected him , that hee drops off like a greene apple in a great winde , and by his bruse growes rotten at Core , and so cozens the next Costardmonger .

IS a broken ribbe of Adam , turned loose into the world againe , and is searching for a new Bonesetter , and newly polishing her selfe for a second edition , or more faire impression . Shee hath lately beene somewhat mortified in memory of her deceased , but hath suddenly gathered vp her crummes , and giuen her selfe out a brace of hundreds more then ere his estate was worth , besides his debts and legacies , wheras her validity proportionable can scarce absolue those . She carrieth her selfe smooth , demute , and familiar , yet at a certaine distance , lest too much familiarity should breed contempt , and then she may cough long enough for one to court her . If shee be young she is capable of copulation , and the sooner caught in that coniunctiue Ceremony ; if past her prime , the more libidinous , subtile , and dangerous , hauing a double wil , the one from her deceased , the other from her widdowhood , by the last of which you may perhaps buy a pigge in a poke ; if shee be wealthy , all your comfort is , she is her owne woman , and not subiect to the auaricious counsell of peeuish parents , who care not though the girle cuckold him , so the carle be scraping . She is an obiect to many , and it 's well if but one light on her . She hath already tasted of Mandraks , and likes the fruits so well , that shee longs to graft more i●…ps vpon that stocke . She is now trim'd vp for the next faire , where if you can bargaine for her , you may ride her home with a twinde thread , and then make the best of an ill bargaine .

HAth her proper denomination from the Place where s●…e is most conuersant and couchant ( the Chamber ) and is the carefull polisher thereof , the obsequious pinner of her Lady , and the true louer of her Taylor , euer since the curious cutting of her last Wastecoate , who ( with his goose ) hath made such impression in her , that her Ladies Closet is thereby impouerisht , and her Marmelet melted in his mischieuous mouth . The beds and she are a kinde of Relatiues , where by reason of her neere alliance and familiarity , shee catcheth manya fal ( to which she is subiect ) but is seldome hurt by it in regard of their softnesse . Shee is the instrumentall cause of her Ladies Curiosity , and Pride , the originall as also the secret and soft shutter of the Portall , when her Lady would be priuate . Sowing and starching is her prime occupation , and the Close-stoole her greatest slauery . Shee is a creature commonly very courteous , and may proue an honest woman , if she be not puft vp in the place . She is the patient endurer of her Ladies peeuishnesse , which perhaps may purchase her a paire of old silke stockings , which she prouidently layes vp till the next Summer , & then dernes them for the wedding day . Watching and warming of cloathes in a short time wrinckles her , and the blossome once blasted the fruit faileth . The best shee can acquire is but Master of the Maydes , and the worst that can befall her is but footing of Stockings .

IS one whose hornes are growne so great that hee is asham'd they should be seene , and is therefore glad the Gates a●…e wide enough to giue way to his passage , of which he takes his vale for a certaine season to some finister Sanctuary ; where hee lyes at racke and manger , whilest his too credulous Creditors are gnawing their Thumbes . By his subtill carriage hee wrought himselfe into their Credit , of set purpose , shortly to bee out of their company ; which , with acute language hee hath at last accomplisht ; and now they may go look this Bush-lane needle in a bottle of hay . Hee absents himselfe so cunningly , that they shal not so much as heare of him , till they haue spent their galls , and then by degrees he giues way to their inquiry with a letter from Ireland , or some place farre remote , whilest , ( though disguis'd ) hee is at the next Tauerne to them ; obseruing how like so many Kites they lay wayt for the Chicken in the Wood-pile . Hee hath beene a man of a large tongue , & short haire , which two haue beene great helpes to his game . Hee is a man now so well lyn'd with the coyne acquired by his former impostures , that hee is in a quandary whether to giue them a desired Composition of twelue pence i' th pound , or to abiure the City for euer . His Conscience ( as false as the light he once deceiu'd by ) tells him , they that lost it may spare it , and hee that winnes ought may weare it , whilst hee spends it worse than hee got it , and must certainly pay for it , he knowes not how soone . Hee now discouers the secrets of silly Tradesmen , and l●…ughs at his sleight in his higher Spheare . Hee hath now admitted himselfe amongst the multitude of Man-slayers , and feeds them for feare , and his owne folly for fashion . Milford lane , and Ram-alley are his Castles , Ca●…heerd Captaines , his companions ; Souldiers his ●…onductors ; and Serjeants and Bayliff●… , his perpetuall dreame and Terror ; and in that little ease I 'll leaue him , till hee hath spent that he hath stolne , and then his last Refuge is Ludgate , where his doleful voyce giues more delight than pitty to his repining Creditors .

IS a menstruous beast , engendred of diuers most filthy excrements , by the stench of whose breath the Ayre is so infected , that her presence is an ineuitable contagion , her eyes more poysonous than the Basilisk ; her nose ( if any ) most pestilently pocky , her tongue more subtile than the Hyena , who stil howles in some fained voyce for the deuouring of innocents , one who hath damnably destroyed her own soule , and is diuelli●…hly deuising the destruction of others . Shee is the mother of impudency , the Dungeon of diseases , the daughter of lust , and the most obscene sister of scurrilous and lasciuious delights . An excellent Astronomer , for by the ratling of her bones shee can discouer the alteration of the weather ; Fooles haue fatted her vp to the day of slaughter , and Knaues are ready to cut her throat for it . Marshals , Beadles , and Constables are her continual terrour , whom by much siluer , shee perswades to silence ; silly maids , vntam'd youths , and sullen wiues are her cheefe marchandizes , and she sells sinne on both hands at a high rate . Adulterate beauties , and counterfeit complexions , are her alluring baits to deceiue the simple , and all 's fish that comes to net with her ; All the credite shee hath got by her abomination , is carting without commiseration & casting of loathsome things at her defiled Carkasse . Diseases at last dry vp her marrow , and ●…rottennesse so shiuers her , that shee drops asunder on a sudden , and wretchedly dyes without pitty ; for whom , a Christian buriall is too courteous .

IS the Spaniel of a Bawd , who fetcheth and carrieth at her pleasure , and is the most seruile slaue of basenes . For halfe a crowne he will be your seruant all day , and for the whole cut your throat at night . His lookes are commonly silly and dei●…cted but you will finde his heart deceitfull , and his actions damnable . Hee will fawne vpon those hee feares , and roughly misuse those he can master . He liues at all distances and postures , one while Tapster , or Tobacco seller , otherwise Strumphusle●… ; now brother , then Cozen , sometimes master of the house ; yet all this while , Rogue , Theefe , and Pimpe . Hee is impudency it selfe , for if the officer approcheth , he sweareth and forsweareth , is the case shall require . Hee is much subiect to Kicking ▪ and is often basted , together with his Bawd . He walkes in perpetuall darknesse , and is still in danger of the Watch , and cannot be otherwise than the abortiue issue of some Adulteresse , his nature is so consonant to theirs . He is spu'd out of all honest company , and fostred with none but fornicators . He liues thus till Bridewell hath possest his Bitches , and the Pox possest him . And then with a meagre countenance , and creeping threed-bare Cloke , hee creepes from Bawd to Bawd for a crust to comfort his crazy Carkasse , and at last in his owne ordure , most desperately and distractedly dyes in a ditch , a graue already digged for him .

IS a raw , young , and greene maid , newly arriued at the Hauen of discretion , and yet farre from the Port thereof , one that thinkes more than she speaks , speaks more than she vnderstands , and vnderstands more than shee dares expresse . Shee is prankt vp like a Peacocke by her doting Parents , and is the precious pearle of her mothers Pride , for the Crow thinks his owne bird the fairest , and they thinke their Goose a Swan . She is a babby trimd vp for euery feast and faire , where the Plough-drag salutes her with two kisses , two penny-worth of peares , and a two-penny red ribbon , which hath so rauisht the Girle , that shee gads after him with much greedinesse , and presently puts finger i' th eye for his absence . Shee is very to vardly and tractable , the cause that her father so feares his horse-keeper , lest hee should steale her and his horse together . Shee is one whom no desert can gaine , nor Gentry obtaine , except he can first plough with that Heiffer , and then hee may finde out the Riddle , for she is falne in loue with an Acrestaffe , and longs to handle it . Shee is her fathers hope , and her mothers happinesse , the Paragon of that Progeny , though the coursest in that Countrey . If they dare trust her , she is sent to bee sold at the next Market , together with her Basket of Butter , where at the Crosse her ●…impring will scarce giue her leaue to tell the price on 't . And thus I leaue her still longing for something that her friends like not , and in that onely consists her wisdome , that she will please her fancy sooner than her friends .

IS a spruce youth somewhat aboue the degree of a Scriuener , much conuersant amongst sheets & skins , Subiects he works vpon much , & is a kind of a Iugler , who by slight of hand , will suddenly make a cleanly conueyance of your estate , that you shall not afterwards need to study how you may prodigally spend it ; and he will so contriue it by president , that he will make you an example whilest you liue . Hee is one who will doe more with a gray Goose wing , than euer Robin Hood could doe , and is very dangerous , if once hee puts his hand too 't . Foure pence a sheet hath furnisht him with a new Suit , and he somtimes executes the place of a Gentleman-vsher vpon his Mistris . Hee is a man generally of no solidity , except by his much costiuenes with continuall sitting , yet a man of great study , insomuch it hath so stupified him , that he lookes for his pen when it stickes in 's ●…are . Littleton is too obscure for his capacity ; and not one amongst forty of them can reade Law French . He is commonly a good fellow , and loues to gaine no more than hee meanes to spend . Hee hath a peece of Iudas his office , ( the Carriage of the Bagge , ) which were it full of Peeces , as it is of Papers , hee might chance to shew his Master a tricke for 't . Hee aspiers sometimes to his Masters daughter , but being stau'd off there , hee choppes vpon the Chambermaid , and there stickes fast . He hath lookt for preferment till age hath dimm'd his eye-sight , and is now endeuouring to goe Clarke of a Band in the next voluntary Voyage ; which if hee speed , the Leagre so belouzeth him , that hee returneth with much Humility , and poorely prostrates himselfe for a halfe-penny a sheet . He is a meere Clarke without any other quality , and hath seldome any commendation , but hee writes a faire hand .

IS a Master of Arts or Crafts , who by fauour and coyne , hath caught a degree a yeere too soone , and now lyes for all the liuings he can lay hold of . Hee hath already rung his Bels for two Parsonages , and not sufficiently prefer'd by those , is putting in for a Prebend or two to make himselfe more compleat in his Taffeta Tippet , and more curious Cassacke . Simony and he are Correlatiues , and that which hee obtaines by Simony , he retaines by Subtilty . His Degrees giue him a Doctor ( tho a very dunce ) and his deuice is now for the next Deanery , to which Musicke , money must be the Master of the Organs , if hee meanes to sing in that Quire . Hee hath two Pulpits and one Sermon , which he preacheth at both his Parishes at his primer induction , and then a couple of silly Curates read out the rest of his Incumbency for the twentieth part of his Parsonages . Hee is one who hath the cure of others soules , and yet ( by his account ) cares not for his owne ; and ( the more 's the pitty ) is clad with the fleece , without feeding the flocke . His Pulpets and he are so falne out , that they bate one another , and 't were no matter if he had falne out of them long agoe . His greatest study is how hee may wracke his Tythes to a higher Rate , and then feed at ease like a Boare in a Frank. He 's very fearefull of another Parliament , lest one of his Liuings should fall short of his reckoning . He hath fisht ●…ill hee hath fild his bagge , then sits downe to fil's belly , and lends little or naught to the distressed . Hee is one whom God hath falne out with for his too little teaching , and his Neighbours for too much Tything : He will sooner conuert the Gleabe into a pasture then a soule to his Master , & is of this opinion , that if hee hires one , his duty is perform'd . He is the cause●… of so many poore Schollers , and his ouer ▪ bidding , the debarring of the●… gifts , or forestaller of their Markets : And yet he is so 〈◊〉 inclin'd , that hee curseth 〈◊〉 Laity who possesse impropri●…tions , and is now grown so sat with pleasure & pride , that nothing will satisfie him but a Bishopricke , or a Graue ; in the last of which , he is daily wisht , that some man of more deserts , might climbe to that place hee so seldome came neere , ( the Pulpit . )

IS a new Commenc'd Bachelour , who hath suckt so long at the paps of his Nurse , ( the Vniuersity ) that shee hath almost pin'd him : and therefore his fortunes denying him the degree of Master , in a resolution leaues his Nurse to rocke the Cradle her selfe , and boldly aduentures into the broad world , ( like a Lapwing with it's shell o' th Crowne ) with Lilly in 's head , and Ramus in 's hand , where in some ▪ small Village hee first excrciseth the Art of a Pedagogue , for instruction of infants . Two pence a week , by the Rurals , is proffered him at his first entrance , for the literature of little Primmer Boyes , and foure pence a weeke for Accidences , besides his Sundayes dinner , by turne , together with the plaine gifts of some of their plainer mothers ; by the which , hee atchieueth to the annuall Pension of ten pound Sterling . He is one still exercising the rod of correction , and the greatest part of his Reuenue , is the fees of tender mothers for sparing his rod , and hating their Children . He doth all things in order , for hee hath now taken orders , and beginnes to peepe into a Pulpit ▪ with a pocket-Sermon ; and as that takes , is either animated or discourag'd , to proceed to a Vicarage . Hee is one commonly of more desert than respect , and often , for his good parts , surpasseth their lazy Parson . If he scapes a Free-Schoole , he may light vpon a Free holders daughter , and her loue may procure him a Library . A Lecture read to her may enlarge his Patrimony , and a licence confirme . Hope and patience are his props , and his perswasion is still , that the seuen Liberall Sciences wil notsee him want . A Free-Schoole Lecture or Vicarage is his next ayme , and if all these faile , A Scholler , by his industry , may soone bee fit for any thing .

IS the peeuish Spawne of a peremptory Citizen ; now ready at the point of preferment , and is highted vp for that purpose , and is the purer mettle of the miser her father ; who , not long since , descended from the loynes of some lubbardly Farmer , and is now by giddy fortune surd all ouer , and in the vanity of his spirit lookes asconce if you misse the title of Master Alderman . This Peacocke , his daughter , is one of the painted Pageans of the City , who dares not look vpon her splea foot for crushing the sets of her Ruffe with her Chinne , and weares her coat the longer to conceale them , yet ( such is her pride ) cannot forbeare the holding them vp for her silk stockings sake . She is grown to that height , that she scornes to know her fathers courser kindred ; nay more , longs so for honour , ( the Idoll of fooles ) that she disdaines a bird of her owne feather ( a Cockney ) though a foolish Knight ; and ambitiously ( through the conception of her coyne ) aspires to the Court , and thinks a Lord little enough for her . And though she be crooked both in mind and body , yet confidently mainetaines , that Gold makes all things strait , for which she knowes her father hath not str●…tch'd his Conscience in vaine . She is the prettiest . Parrat her mother h●…h hatoh'd , and in her discourse ( which is neuer solid ) will speake non-sense with much celerity ▪ and wil passe by it without blushing , or notice of it . She with the French-hood her mother , doe pace with much pompe and equipage to the Spittle , to the Rehearsall Sermons , where she retaines only two senses , a wandring eye , and a liquorish Pallate ; seeing of strange obiects , and tasting of sweet-meats , with which , ●…er pu●…'d handkerche is repleat . Her mind is much set vpon Court Masques , the cause of her sleighting the City , where sometimes shee hath participated of such curious Cates , that the pleasure of them will not yet out of her Pallate , which makes her in pensiue sort sollicite her parents to giue her her owne choyce ; and howeuer , shee will be a Lady , though shee lose all for 't . If her mother once call her Madam , she is made for euer , for it is the heighth of her-ambition to bee the top of her kindred , lest her betters should take place of her . Her Title , and Attire are her onely Idols , with which she is hurried in a Coach with six horses , to the heighth of her pride , ( which must haue a fall ) and then perhaps she may be left with a Litter .

IS a profuse fellow puft vp with affectation , and nusled in the same by vaineglory ( the finall end his smaller wit and thinner skull aymes at ) towards which all his vntoward actions tend . Hee deemes all his equals , his inferiours , especially those he most accompanies , amongst which hee thinkes himselfe the best man for paying all the reckoning , which they incontinently without grudging grant him , lest their very offer should prouoke him to indignation , at least to oaths , to which he is very apt . He is neuer in loue with mony but when he wants it , and when he hath it , he sleights it . He is one of a very yeelding nature , insomuch , that if you praise ought of his that he affects , he presently bestowes it on you , scorning to be so base as to stand a begging . Nothing troubles his soule so much as to be last in a new fashion , or the least in company when hee is so accoutred . His carriage is very courteous , yet somewhat quil●…ed with singularity ( the secret pride of Prodigals , ) fooles are his admirers , and knaues his soothers , whilst hee forgets himselfe to remember them , and neuer thinks of shutting the stable-doore till the steed be stolne . His greatest bragge is , hee hates co●…etousnesse , not dreaming how in the meane time he imbraceth the contrary extreame vice . Hee spends with such confusion , that his supposed friends and associates doe willingly forget his Courtesies , and is of such sublimity of spirit , that he neuer lookes so low as hogs , til he eats husks with them , and then the Trough proues his Touchstone . All men behold him with an ( alas ! t is pitty ) whilst few or none supply his pouerty which pursues him like an armed man . He is at last o'retane like a Butterfly in a storm , & left by all those that seem'd to loue him , and ( me thinks ) in anguish of Spirit ●… heare him crosse the Proueth and say , Better is a penny in one's purse , than a Courtly friend .