A vvhip for an ape: or Martin displaied

Since reason ( Martin ) cannot stay thy pen , We 'il see what rime will doo : haue at thee then . A Dizard late skipt out vpon our Stage ; But in a sacke , that no man might him see : And though we knowe not yet the paltrie page , Himselfe hath Martin made his name to bée . A proper name , and for his feates most fit ; The only thing wherein he hath shew'd wit . Who knoweth not , that Apes men Martins call ; Which beast this baggage seemes as t' were himselfe : So as both nature , nurture , name and all , Of that 's expressed in this apish else . Which I le make good to Martin Marr-als face In thrée plaine poynts , and will not bate an ace . For first the Ape delights with moppes and wolves , And mocketh Prince and peasants all alike : This testing Iacke that no good manner knowes , With his Asse héeles presumes all States to strike . Whose scoffes so stinking in each nose both smell , As all mouthes saie of dolts he beares the bell . Sometimes his choppes doo walke in poynts too hie , Wherein the Ape himselfe a Woodcocke tries : Sometimes with floutes he drawes his mouth awrie , And sweares by his ten bones , and falselie lies . Wherefore be what he will I do not passe , He is the paltriest Ape that euer was . Such fléering , léering , iarring fooles bopéepe ; Such hahaes , téehées , wéehées , wild colts play : Such sohoes , whoopes and hallowes , hold and kéepe ; Such rangings , ragings , reuelings , roysters ray , With so foule mouth , and knaue at euery catch , T is some knaues neast did surely Martin hatch . Now out he runnes with Cuckowe king of May , Then in he leapes with a wild Morrice daunce ; Now strikes he by Dame Lawsens lustie lay ; Then comes Sir Ieffries ale tub tapde by chaunce : Which makes me gesse , ( and I can shrewdly smell ) He loues both t 'one and t' other passing well . Then straight as though he were distracted quite , He chafeth like a cutpurse layd in Warde ; And rudely railes with all his maine and might , Against both Knights and Lords without regarde : So as Bridewell must tame his dronken fits , And Bedlem helpe to bring him to his wits . But Martin , why in matters of such waight Doest thou thus play the Dawe and dancing foole : O sir ( quoth he ) this is a pleasant baite For men of sorts , to traine them to my schoole . Ye noble States how can you like hereof , A shamelesse Ape at your sage heads should scoffe ? Good Noddie now leaue scribling in such matters , They are no tooles for fooles to tend vnto ; Wise men regard not what mad Monckies patters ; T were trim a beast should teach men what to do . Now Tarleton's dead the Consort lackes a vice : For knaue and foole thou maist beare pricke and price . The sacred sect and perfect pure precise , Whose cause must be by Scoggins iests maintainde , Ye shewe although that purple Apes disguise , Yet Apes are still , and so must be disdainde . For though your Lyons lookes weake eyes escapes Your babling bookes bewraies you all for Apes . The next poynt is , Apes vse to tosse and teare What once their fidling fingers fasten on ; And clime aloft and cast downe euery where , And neuer staies till all that stands be gon . Now whether this in Martin be not true , You wiser heads marke here what doth ensue . What is it not that Martin doth not rent ? Cappes , Tippets , Gownes , blacke Chiuers , Rotchets white ; Communion bookes , and Homelies , yea so bent To teare , as womens wimples feele his spite . Thus tearing all , as all Apes vse to doo ; He teares withall the Church of Christ in two . Marke now what things he meanes to tumble downe , For to this poynt to looke is worth the while , In one that makes no choyce twixt Cap and Crowne ; Cathedrall Churches he would faine vntile , And snatch vp Bishops lands , and catch away All gaine of learning for his prouling pray . And thinke you not he will pull downe at length Aswell the top from tower , as Cocke from stéeple ? And when his head hath gotten some more strength , To play with Prince as now he doth with people ? Yes , he that now saith , Why should Bishops bée ? Will next crie out , Why Kings ? The Saincts are frée . The Germaine Boores with Clergie men began , But neuer left till Prince and Péeres were dead : Iacke Leydon was a holie zealous man , But ceast not till the Crowne was on his head . And Martins mate Iacke Strawe would alwaies ring The Clergies faults , but sought to kill the King . Oh that quoth Martin thwere a Noble man ! A vaunt vile villaine : t is not for such swads . And of the Counsell too ; Marke Princes then : These roomes are raught at by these lustie lads . For Apes must climbe , and neuer stay their wit , Untill on top of highest hilles they sit . What meane they els , in euery towne to craue Their Priest and King like Christ himselfe to be ? And for one Pope ten thousand Popes to haue , And to controll the highest he or she ? Aske Scotland that , whose King so long they crost As he was like his Kingdome to haue lost . Beware ye States and Nobles of this land , The Clergie is but one of these mens buts : The Ape at last on masters necke will stand : Then gegge betime these gaping greedie guts , Least that too soone , and then too late ye feele , He strikes at head that first began with heele . The third tricke is , what Apes by flattering waies Cannot come by , with biting they will snatch : Our Martin makes no bones , but plainlie saies , Their fists shall walke , they will both bite and scratch . He 'il make their hearts to ake , and will not faile , Where pen cannot , their penknife shall preuaile . But this is false , he saith he did but mocke : A foole he was that so his words did scan . He only ment with pen their pates to knocke : A knaue he is , that so turnes cat in pan . But Martin sweare and stare as déepe as hell , Thy sprite thy spite and mischeuous mind doth tell . The thing that neither Pope with Booke nor Bull , Nor Spanish King with ships could do without , Our Martins here at home will worke at full ; If Prince curbe not betimes that rabble rout . That is , destroy both Church , and State , and all ; For if t 'one faile , the other néedes must fall . Thou England then whom God doth make so glad , Through Gospels grace and Princes prudent raigne : Take heede least thou at last be made as sad , Through Martins makebates marring , to thy paine : For he marres all , and maketh nought , nor will , Saue lyes and strife , and workes for Englands ill . And ye graue men that answere Martins mowes , He mockes the more , and you in vaine loose times : Leaues Apes to dogges to baite , their skins to crowes , And let old Lanam lash him with his rimes . The beast is proud when men wey his enditings : Let his worke go the waie of all wast writings . Now Martin , you that say you will spawne out Your broyling brattes in euery towne to dwell ; Wée will prouide in each place for your route A bell and whippe , that Apes do loue so well . And if ye skippe and will not wey the checke , We 'il haue a springe and catch you by the necke . And so adiew mad Martin marre the land , Leaue off thy worke , and more worke , hear'st thou me ? Thy work 's nought worth , take better worke in hand : Thou marr'st thy worke , & thy worke will marre thée . Worke not a newe , least it doth worke thy wracke , And thou make worke for him that worke doth lacke . And this I warne thée Martins Monckies face , Take héed of me , my rime doth charme thee bad : I am a rimer of the Irish race , And haue alreadie rimde thée staring mad . But if thou ceasest not thy bald iests still to spread , I le neuer leaue , till I haue rimde th' ee dead . FINIS