The Phoenix

THE Phoenix : Enter the old Duke of Ferrara , Nobles , Proditor , Lussurioso , and Infesto , with Attendants . Du MY Lordes , Know that we far from any naturall pride Or touch of temporall sway , haue seene our face In our graue counsels foreheads : where doth stand Our truest glasse , made by Times wrinckled hand . We know wee 're old , my daies proclayme me so : Fortie-fiue yeres , I 'ue gently ruld this Dukedome , Pray heauen it be no fault , For there 's as much disease , though not to th' eye , In too much pittie , as in Tyrannie . Infest. Your grace hath spoke it right . Duke . I know that life Has not long course in me , t will not be long Before I show that Kinges haue mortall bodies As well as Subjects , therefore to my comfort , And your succesfull hopes I haue a Sonne Whome I dare boast of ; — Lus. Whome we all do boast off , A Prince elder in vertues then in yeares , Infest. His iudgement is a Father to his youth , Prod. I , I , would he were from Court , Infest. Our largest hopes grow in him , Prod. And t is the greatest pittie Noble Lord , He is vntraueld , Lus. T is indeede my Lord . Prod.

Had he but trauaile to his time and Vertue — oh hee should neere returne agen .

Duke . It shall be so , what is in hope begun , Experience quickens , trauaile confirmes the man , Who 's else liues doubtfull , and his daies oft sorye , " Who 's rich in Knowledge , ha's the stocke of glorye . Prod. Most true my royall Lord . Duke . Some one attend our Sonne . Enter Prince attended by Fidelio . Infest. See , heere hee comes my Lord . Duke . Oh you come well . Phoe. T is alwaies my desire my worthy Father . Duke . Your Serious studyes , & those fruitfull howres That grow vp into iudgement , well become Your birth , and all our loues : I weepe that you are my sonne , But Vertuously I weepe , the more my gladnes : We haue thought good and meete by the consent Of these our Nobles , to moue you toward Trauaile , The better to approue you to your selfe And giue your apter power , foundation : To see affections actually praesented , Ee'n by those men that owe them , yeeld more profit , I more content , then singly to reade of them , " Since loue or feare , make Writers partiall , The good and free example which you finde , In other Countries , match it with your owne , The ill to shame the ill , which will in time , Fully instruct you how to set in frame , A kingdome all in peeces . Phoe. Honoured Father , With care and duetie I haue listned to you , What you desire , in me it is obedience , I doe obey in all , knowing for right , " Experience is a Kingdomes better sight . Prod. Oh t is the verie lustre of a Prince , Trauaile ! t is sweete and generous , Du. He that knowes how to obey , knowes how to reigne And that true knowledge haue we found in you , Make choice of your Attendants . Phoe. Theyr soone chose , only this man my Lord , a louing seruant of mine . Du. What none but he ? Phoe. I doe intreate no more , For that 's the benefit a priuate Gentleman Enioyes beyond our state , when he notes all , Himselfe vnnoted , For should I beare the fashion of a prince , I should then win more flatterie , then profit , And I should giue e'm time & warning then To hide their Actions from me , if I appeare a Sunne , Thei le run into the shade with their ill deedes , And so preuent me . Prod. A little too wise , a little too wise to liue long . Duk. You haue answered vs with wisdome , let it be . Things priuate are best known through priuacy . Exeunt Manet Phoenix and Fidelio . Phoe. Stay you my elected seruant . Fid. My kinde Lord . Phoe. The Duke my Father has a heauy burthen , Of yeares vpon him . Fid. My Lord it seemes so , for they make him stoope . Phoen. Without dissemblance hee is deepe in age , He bowes vnto his graue , I wonder much Which of his wilde Nobilitie it should bee ( For none of his sad counsell has a voyce in 't ) Should so farre trauaile into his consent , To set me ouer into other Kingdomes . Vpon the stroke and minute of his death ? Fid. My Lord , t is easier to suspect them all , Then truly to name one . Phoen. Since it is thus , By absence , i le obey the Duke my father , And yet not wrong my selfe . Fid Therein my Lord , You might be happie twice . Phoen. So it shall bee , I le stay at home , and trauaile ; Fid. Would your Grace Could make that good . Phoe.

I can , & indeed a Prince need no trauaile farther then his owne Kingdome , if hee applie himselfe faythfullye , worthie the glorie of himselfe and expectation of others : and it would appeare farre nobler industrie in him , to reforme those fashions that are alreadye in his Countrey , then to bring newe ones in , which haue neither true forme nor fashion ; to make his Court an Owle , Cittie an Ape , and the Countrey a Wolfe , preying vpon the ridiculous pride of eyther , and therefore I holde it a safer sterne vpon this luckie aduantage , since my father is nere his setting , and I vpon the Easterne hil to take my rise , to look into the heart & bowels of this Dukedome , and in disguise , marke all abuses readie for Reformation or Punishment .

Fid. Giue me but leaue vnfainedly to admire you , Your wisdome is so spacious and so honest , Phoen.

So much haue the complaints and suits of men , seauen , nay seauenteene yeares neglected , stil interposd by coine and great enemies , preuaild with my pittie , that I cannot otherwise thinke but there are infectious dealings in most offices , and foule misteries throughout al Professions : and therefore I nothing doubt but to find trauaile ynough within my selfe , and Experience I fear too much : nor will I be curious to fit my bodie to the humblest forme and bearing , so the labor may be fruitfull : for how can abuses that keepe lowe , come to the right view of a Prince , vnlesse his lookes lie leuell with them , which else will be longest hid from him , hee shall be the last man sees 'em .

For oft betwene Kings Eyes , and subiects Crimes Stands there a barre of brybes , the vnder office Flatters him next aboue it : he the next , And so of most , or manye , Euerie Abuse will chuse a brother , T is through the world , this Hand will rub the other . Fid. You haue set downe the worlde briefly my Lord . Phoen. But how am I assur'd of faith in thee ? Yet I durst trust thee . Fid. Let my soule be lost ,

When it shall loose your secrets : nor will I onely bee a preseruer of them , but if you so please an assister .

Phoen. It suffices : That King stands sur'st who by his vertue rises More then by birth or blood , that Prince is rare , Who striues in youth to saue his age from care , Let 's be preparde away . Exit Phoen. Fid. I le follow your Grace , Thou wonder of all Princes , President , and Glorie , True Phoenix , made of an vnusuall straine , " Who labours to reforme is fit to raigne . How can that King be safe that studies not The profite of his people ? See where comes The best part of my heart , my loue . Enter Neece . Neece . Sir , I am bound to find you , I heard newly Of suddaine Trauaile which his grace intends And onely but your selfe to accompany him . Fid. You heard in that , little beside the truth , Yet not so suddaine as to want those manners , To leaue you vnregarded . Neece . I did not thinke , so vnfashionably of you : How long is your returne ? Fid. T is not yet come to me , scarce to my Lord , Vnlesse the Duke referre it to his pleasure , But long I thinke it is not , the Dukes age , ( If not his apt experience ) will forbid it . Neec. His grace commaunds , I must not think amisse , farwell Fid. Nay stay , and take this comfort , You shall heare often from vs , i le direct Where you shall surely knowe , and I desire you Write me the Truth , how my new father in lawe , the Captaine beares himselfe toward my Mother , For that marriage , knew nothing of my minde , It neuer flourisht in any part of my affection . Neece . Me thinkes sha 's much disgrac'd herselfe . Fid.

Nothing so : if he be good & wil abide the touch , a Captaine may marrie a Lady , if hee can saile into her good will .

Neece . Indeede that s all , Exit Fid. T is al in al , commend me to thy brest , farwel . So by my Lords firme pollicy we may see , To present view , what absent formes would be . Exit . Fidelo . Enter the Captaine with Souldiering fellowes . 1 There 's Noble purchase Captaine . 2 Nay admirable purchase . 3 Ynough to make vs proud for euer . Cap. Hah ? 1 Neuer was opportunitie so Gallant . Cap. Why you make me madde . 2 Three Ships not a poope lesse . 3

And euerieone so wealthily burdned vpon my manhood .

Cap.

Pox on 't , and now am I tyed ee'n as the Deuil would ha 't .

Captaine , of all men liuing I wold ha' sworne thou wouldst nere haue married .

Cap.

S'foot , so would I my selfe man , giue mee my Due , you know I ha sworne all heauen ouer and ouer :

1 That you haue y faith . Cap. Why goe too then . 1

Of a man that has tasted salt water to commit such a fresh Tricke .

Cap. Why t is abhominable I grant you now I see 't : 1 Had there beene fewer Women — 2 And among those Women fewer Drabs — 3 And among those Drabs fewer pleasing — Cap. Then t' ad beene something : 1

But when there are more women , more common pretty sweete hearts , then euer any age could boast off .

Cap.

And I to play the Artificer and marrie : to haue my wife daunce at home , and my Ship at Sea , and both take in salt water together : oh Leiftenant thou' rt happie , thou keepst a Wench .

I hope I am happyer then so Captaine , for a my Troth shee keepes me .

Cap.

How ? is there anye such fortunate man breathing ? and I so miserable to liue honest ? I enuie thee Lieutenant , I enuie thee , that thou art such a happye Knaue , here s my hand among you , share it equally , I le to sea with you .

2 There spoke a Noble Captaine . Cap. Let s heare from you , there will be newes shortly . 1 Doubt it not Captaine . Exeunt Cap.

What lustfull passion came aboord of mee , that I should marrye , was I drunke ? yet that cannot altogether holde , for it was foure a clocke 'i th morning , had it beene fiue , I would ha sworne it : that a man is in danger euerie minute to be cast away , without hee haue an extraordinarie Pilot that can performe more then a man can doe : and to say truth too , when 'i me abroad what can I doe at home ? no man liuing can reach so farre : & what a horrible thing t' would bee to haue hornes brought me at Sea , to looke as if the Deuill were 'i th ship : and all the greate Tempestes would bee thought of my Raysing , to bee the generall cursse of all Merchants : and yet they likely are as deepe in as my selfe , and that s a comfort : O that a Captaine should liue to be marryed ! nay , I that haue beene such a Gallant salt-theefe , should yet liue to be marryed : What a fortunate Elder Brother is he , whose father being a Ramish Plough-man , himselfe a perfumde Gentleman , spending the labouring reeke from his Fathers : Nosthrils in Tobacco : the sweate of his Fathers bodye in monthlye Phisick for his pretty quesie Harlot : he sowes a pace 'i th Countrie : the Taylor oretakes him i' th Cittie , so that often times before the Corne comes to Earning , t is vp to the eares in high Collars , and so at euerie haruest the Reapers take paines for the Mercers , ha ! why this is stirring happinesse indeede , would my father had held a plow so , and fed vpon squeaz'd Curds and Onions , that I might haue bath'd insensualitie : but hee was too ruttish himselfe to let me thriue vnder him , cansumde me before hee got me , & that makes me so wretched , now to be shackled with a wife , & not greatly rich neither .

Enter his Lady . Lady . Captaine , my Husband . Cap. S'life call me husband agen , & i le play the Captaine and beate you . Lady .

What ha's disturb'd you sir , that you now looke so like an Enemie vpon me ?

Cap. Goe make a Widdower , hang thy selfe , How comes it that you are so opposite To loue and kindenes ? I deserue more Respect , But that you please to be forgetfull of it . Lady . For loue to you , did I neglect my state , Chide better fortunes from me , Gaue the world talke , laide all my friendes at waste . Captaine . The more foole you , could you like none but me ? Could none but I supplye you ? I am sure you were sued to , by far worthyer men , Deeper in wealth and Gentrie . What couldst thou see in me , to make thee doate so on me ,

If I knowe , I am a Villaine : what a torment s this ? why didst thou marry me ? you thinke as most of your insatiate Widdowes , that Captaines can doe wonders , when 'lasse the name do's often proue the better man .

Lady .

That which you vrge , should rather giue me cause to repent then your selfe .

Cap. Then to that end I doo 't . Lady . What a miserable state am I led into ? Enter Seruus . Cap: How now sir ? Seruus : Count Proditer is now alighted . Cap.

What , my Lord : I must make much of him , hee le one day write me Cuckold : t is good to make much of such a man , ee'n to my face , hee plyes it hard I thanke him : —

Enter Proditer .

what , my worthy Lord !

Prod: I le come to you in order Captaine . Cap: Oh that s in order : a kisse is the Gammoth to pricksong . Prod. Let me salute you Captaine . Cap. My deere esteemed Count , I haue a life for you : Prod. Heare you the newes ? Cap. What may it be my Lord ? Prod.

My Lord , the Dukes Sonne is vpon his trauaile to seuerall Kingdomes .

Cap,

May it bee possible my Lord , and yet so little rumord ?

Prod.

Tak 't of my Truth , nay , t wa's well manag'd , thinges are as they are handled : but all my care is still , pray heauen hee returne safe , without danger Captaine .

Cap. Why , is there any doubt to bee had of that my Lord ? Prod. I by my faith Captaine . Princes haue priuate enemies , and great : Put case a man should grudge him , for his Vertues : Or enuie him , for his wisdome : why you know This makes him lye bare brested to his foe . Cap. That 's ful of certaintie my Lord , but who be his Attendants ? Prod.

Thence Captaine comes the feare , but singlie attended neither ( my best gladnes ) only by your Sonne in Law Fidelio .

Cap.

Is it to be beleeu'd ? I promise you my Lord then I beginne to feare him my selfe , that fellow will vndoe him : I durst vndertake to corrupt him with twelue pence ouer and aboue , and that s a small matter : ha's a whorish Conscience , hee 's an inseperable Knaue , and I could neere speake well of that fellow .

Prod.

All wee of the younger house , I can tell you do doubt him much , — the Ladyes remoou'd , shall we haue your sweete soscietie Captaine ?

Cap.

Though it bee in mine owne house , I desire I may follow your Lordship .

Prod. I loue to auoide strife , Not many monthes Phoenix shall keepe his life . Exit . Cap. So , his way is in , he knowes it , We must not be vncurteous to a Lord ,

Warne him our house t' were vilde : his presence is an honour , if he lie with our wiues , t is for our credite , wee shall be the better trusted , t is a signe wee shall liue i th world : O Tempests and Whirlewinds ( who but that man whom the forefinger cannot daunt , that makes his shame his liuing : ) Who but that man I say , could endure to be throughly married ? Nothing but a diuorce can relieue me : any way to be rid of her would rid my torment : if all meanes faile I le kil , or poyson her , and purge my fault at sea : but first I le make gentle Trie of a Diuorce : But how shal I accuse her subtle honestie ? I le attach this Lords comming to her , take hold of that : ask counsell : and now I remember , I haue acquaintance with an olde craftie Client , who by the puzzle of suites & shifting of Courts , has more tricks & starting holes , then the dizzie pates of fifteene Atturneys : one that has beene muzled in Law like a Beare , and lead by the Ring of his spectacles from office to office : him I le seeke out with haste , all paths I le tread ,

All deathes I le die ere I die married . Exit . Enter Proditor with the Captaines wife . Prod. Puh , you doe resist me hardly . Lad. I beseech your Lordship cease in this ,

T is neuer to be granted : if you come as a friend vnto my honour and my husband , you shall be euer welcome , if not , I must intreate it —

Prod. Why assure your selfe , Madame , t is not the fashion . Lad.

T is more my griefe my Lord , such as my selfe are iudg'd the worse for such .

Prod. Faith y' are too nice , you le see me kindly forth : Lady . And honourably welcome . Exeunt . Enter a Groome before Phoenix , and Fidelio , alighting into an Inne . Groome . Gentlemen , y' are moste neately welcome . Phoe. Y' are very cleanelye Sir , prethee haue a care to our Geldings . Groome . Your Geldings shall be well considered . Fid. Considered ? Phoe. Sirha , what Guesse do's this Inne holde now ? Groome . Some fiue and twentie Gentlemen besides their beastes . Phoe. Their Beastes ? Groome .

Their wenches I meane sir , for your worship knowes those that are vdder men are beastes .

Phoe. How do's your Mother sit ? Groo. Verie well in health I thanke you heartily sir . Phoe. And so is my Mare y faith . Groome . I le doe her commendations indeede sir . Fid. Well kept vp Shuttle-cocke : Phoe. But what olde fellow was he that newly alighted before vs ? Gro.

Who he ? as arrant a craftie fellow as ere made water on horsebacke : some say hee 's as good as a Lawyer , ( marrie 'i me sure hee 's as bad as a Knaue ) if you haue any suites in lawe , hee 's the fittest man for your companie : ha's beene so toward and lug'd himselfe , that hee is able to affoord you more knauish counsell for tenne groates , then another for ten shillings .

Phoe.

A fine fellowe : but doe you know him to be a Knaue , and will lodge him .

Groom .

Your worship begins to talke idlely , your bed shall be made presently ; if we should not lodge knaues , I wonder how we should bee able to liue honestlye , are there honest men enough thinke you in a Terme time to fill all the Innes in the towne , and as far as I can see , a knaues Gelding eats no more hay then an honest mans : nay theeues Gelding eates lesse , i le stand too 't , his Maister allowes him a better Ordnarie : yet I haue my eightpence day & night , t were more for our profit I wus , you were all theeues , if you were so contented : I shall bee cald for : giue your worships good morrow .

Phoe. A royall knaue y faith : wee haue hapned into a Godly Inne . Fid. Assure you my L. they belong al to one church . Phoe.

This shold be some olde busie turbulent fellowe : villanous Law-worme , that eates holes into poore mens causes .

Enter Tangle with two suters . 1 May it please your worship to giue me leaue ? Tang.

I giue you leaue sir , you haue your Veniam , now fill me a browne Toste sirha .

Groom . Will you haue no drink too 't sir ? Tang. Is that a question in lawe ? Groom . Yes , in the lowest Court : 'i th Sellor sir . Tang. Let me haa 't remou'd presently sir . Groome . It shall bee done sir . Tang.

Now as you were saying Sir , i le come to you immediately too .

Phoe. Oh verie wel sir : Tang. I 'me a little busie sir , 1 But as how sir ? Tang. I pray sir ? 1 Ha's brought me into the Court , marry my aduersarie ha's not declarde yet . Tang.

Non declarauit Aduersarius saist thou : what a Villain 's that , I haue a tricke to doe thee good : I will get thee out a Proxe , & make him declare with a Poxe to him .

1 That wil make him declare to his fore griefe , I thank your good worship : but put case he doe declare ? Tang. Si declarasset , If he should declare there , 1 I would be loath to stand out to the iudgement of that Court Tang.

Non ad iudicium , doe you feare corruption ? then i le releeue you agaen : you shall get a Suersedias , Non molest andam ; and remooue it higher her .

1 Verie good . Tan.

Now if it should euer come to a Testificandum , what be his witnesses ?

1 I little feare his witnesses . Tan. Non metuis testes ? more valiant man then Orestes 1

Please you sir to dissolue this into Wine , Ale , or Beere , I come a hundred mile to you I protest , and leaue all other counsell behind me .

Tan.

Nay you shal alwayes finde me a sound Card , I stoode not at h Pillorie for nothing in eightie eight , all the world knowes that : now let me dispatch you sir ; I come to you Presenter .

2 Faith the partie hath remou'd both bodie and cause with a habeas corpus . Tan.

Has he that knauerie ? But has hee put in baile aboue canst tell ?

2 That I can assure your worship , he has not . Tan.

Why then thy best course shall be , to lay out more money , take out a Procedendo , and bring downe the cause and him with a Vengeance .

2 Then he will come indeed Tan.

As for the other partie , let the Audita querela alone , take me out a special Supplicauit , which will cost you inough , and then you pepper him . For the first partie after the Procedendo you le get costs , the cause being sound , you le haue a Iudgement , Nunc pro Tunc , you l get a Venire facies to warne your Iurie , a Decem tales to fill vp the number , and a Capias vt Legatum for your execution .

2 I thanke you my learned counsell . Phoe.

What a busie Caterpiller 's this ? let 's accost him in that maner .

Fid. Content my Lord . Phoe.

O my olde admirable fellow , how haue I all this while thirsted to salute thee ? I knew thee in Octauo of the Duke . —

Tang. In Octauo of the Duke : I remember the yere well . Phoe , by th masse a lustie proper man . Tang. Oh was I ? Phoe. But still in lawe Tang.

Still in Law . I had not breath'd else now , t is verie marrow , verie manna to me to be in law : i de been dead ere this else : I haue found such sweete pleasure in the vexation of others , that I could wish my yeares ouer and ouer agen , to see that fellow a Begger , that bawling Knaue a Gentleman : a matter brought 'een to a iudgement to day , as far as ere t' was to begin again to morowe : O Raptures I heere a writ of Demur , there a Procedendo , heere a Sui surrara , there a Capiendo , Tricks , Delayes , Money-lawes :

Phoe. Is it possible olde Lad ? Tang.

I haue beene a Tearme-trotter my selfe anye time this fiue and fortie yeares , a goodly time & a gratious : in which space I ha beene at least sixteen times beggard , and got vp agen : and in the mire agen , that I haue stunke agen , and yet got vp agen .

Phoe. And so cleane and handsome how ? Tan.

You see it apparantly , I cannot hide it from you : nay more , in foelice hora bee it spoken , you see i 'me olde , yet haue I at this present , nine and twentie sutes in Lawe .

Phoe. Deliuer vs man ! Tang. And all not worth forthy shillings . Phoe. May it be beleeu'd ? Tang. The pleasure of a man is all . Phoe. An olde fellow and such a stinger . Tang.

A stake puld out of my hedge , there s one : I was well beaten I remember , that 's two : I tooke one a bed with my wife agen her will , that 's three : I was cal'd cuckold for my labour , that 's foure : I tooke another a bed agen , that 's fiue than one cald me wittal that 's sixe : he kild my Dog for Barking , seauen : my Maide Seruant was knockt at that time , eight : my wife miscarryed with a push , Nine , & sic de coeteris , I haue so vext and beggerd the whole parish , with processe , Suppoeneas , and such like molestations , they are not able to spare so much readie mony from a Tearme , as woulde set vp a new Weather-cocke : the Church-wardens are faine to goe to law with the Poores mony .

Phoen. Fie , fie . Tan.

And I so fetch vp al the men euery Tearm time that t is impossible to be at ciuill cuckoldry , within our selues , vnlesse the whole country rise vpon our wiues .

Fid. A my faith a prettie pollicie . Phoen.

Nay an excellent stratagem : but of all I most wonder at the continuall substance of thy wit , that hauing had so many suits in law from time to time , thou hast still mony to relieue 'em .

Fid. Ha's the best fortune for that , I neuer knew him without . Tan.

Why doe you so much wonder at that ? why this is my course : my Mare and I come vp some fiue dayes before a Tearme .

Phoen. A good Decorum . Tan.

Here I Lodge as you see amongst Innes , and places of most receit —

Phoen. Verie wittily . Tan.

By which aduantage I diue into Country mens causes , furnish 'em with knauish counsell , little to their profite , buzzing into their Eares , this course , that writ , this office , that Ultimum refugium , as you know I haue words enow for the purpose .

Phoen. Enow a conscience y faith . Tan.

Enow a law , no matter for conscience . For which busie and laborious sweating curtesie , they cannot chuse but feede me with mony , by which I maintaine mine owne suits : ho , ho , ho .

Phoen. Why let me hug thee , Caper in mine armes . Tan.

Another speciall tricke I haue , no body must know it , which is , to prefer most of those men to one Atturney whom I affect best , to answere which kindnesse of mine , he will sweat the better in my cause , and doe them the lesse good , tak 't of my worde , I helpt my Atturney to more Clients the last Tearme then he will dispatch all his life time : I did it .

Phoen. What a noble memorable deed was there ? Enter Groome . Groo. Sir . Tan. Now sir . Groo.

There 's a kind of captaine , verie robustiously enquires for you .

Tan.

For me ? a man of warre : a man of law is fit for a man of warre : we haue no leysure to say prayers : wee both kill a Sunday mornings : I le not be long from your sweete companie .

Exit Phoen. O no I beseech you . Fid. What captaine might this be ? Phoe. Thou Angell sent amongst vs , sober Law . Made with meeke Eyes , perswading Action , No lowd immodest Tongue , voic'd like a virgin , And as chaste from sale , Saue onely to be heard , but not to raile . How has abuse deform'd thee to all Eyes ? That where thy vertues sat , thy vices rise , Yet why so rashly for one villaines fault , Doe I arraigne whole man ? Admired Law , Thy vpper parts must needes be sacred , pure , And incorruptible , th' are graue and wise , T' is but the drosse beneath 'em , and the clowdes That get betweene thy glorie and their praise , That make the visible and foule Eclipse , For those that are neere to thee , are vpright , As noble in their conscience , as their birth , Know that damnation is in euery bribe , And rarely put it from 'em : rate the Presenters , And scourge 'em with fiue yeares imprisonment , For off ring but to tempt 'em . Thus is true iustice exercisde and vsde , " Woe to the giuer when the Bribe 's refusde . T is not their wil , to haue law worse then warre , Where still the poor'st die first , To send a man without a sheete to his graue , Or burie him in his Papers . T is not their minde it should be , nor to haue A sute hang longer then a man in chaines Let him be nere so fastned , they least know That are aboue , the tedious steps below . I thanke my time , I doe . Fid. I long to know what captaine this should be : Phaen. See where the Bane or euery cause Returnes . Enter Tangle , with Captaine . Fid. S'foote t is the captaine my father in law , my L. Phaen. Take heede . Cap.

The Diuorse shall rest then , and the fiue hundred crownes shall stand in full force and vertue .

Tan. Then doe you wisely Captaine . Cap. A way sayle I , fare thee well . Tan. A lustie cracke or winde goe with thee . Cap. But ah ! Tan. Hah : Cap. Remember a Scriuener Tan.

I le haue him for thee . Why thus am I sought after by all professions ; heer 's a weather beaten Captaine , who not long since newe married to a Ladie widow , would now faine haue sued a Diuorce betweene her and him , but that her honestie is his onely hinderance : to be rid of which , he do's determine to turne her into white mony , and there 's a Lord his Chapman has bid fiue hundred Crownes for her alreadie .

Fid. How ? Tan. Or for his part , or whole in her . Phaen. Why , do she leaue to sell his wife ? Tang.

His wife ? I by th masse , he would sell his soule if he knew what Merchant would lay out money vppon 't , and some of 'em haue need of one they sweare so fast .

Phae. Why , I neuèr heard of the like . Tang.

Non audiuisti , didst nere heere of that tricke ? why Pistor a Baker sold his wife tother day to a cheesemonger , that made Cake and Cheese : another to a Coferer : a third to a common player : why you see t is common : nere feare the Captaine , be ha's not so much witte to bee a praesident himselfe : I promisd to furnish him with an odde Scriuener of mine owne , to draw the bargaine , and sale of his Lady , your horses stand heere Gentleman .

Phae. I , I , I . Tang.

I shall bee busilye plung'd till towards bed time , aboue the chin in profundis .

Exit Phae. What monstrous daies are these ? Not onely to be vicious , most men study , But in it to be vgly , striue to exceed , Each other in the moste deformed deede . Fid. Was this her priuate choice ? did shee neglect The presence and opinion of her friends , for this ? Phae. I wonder who that one should be , Should so disgrace that Reuerend Name of Lord , So loathsomly to buy Adulterie ? Fid. We may make meanes to knowe . Phae. Take courage man , wee le beget some defence . Fid. I am bound by nature . Phae.

I by Conscience — To sell his Lady : indeed she was a Beast to marrie him , and so he makes of her , come , i le thorowe now 'i me entred .

Exeunt . Enter Iewellers wife with a Boy . Iew

Is my sweete Knight comming , are you certaine hee 's comming ?

Boy .

Certaine for sooth , I am sure I saw him out of the Barbers shop , ere I would come away .

Iew.

A Barbers shop , O hee 's a trim Knight , would hee venture his body into a Barbers shop , when hee knowes t is as dangerous as a peece of Ireland : O yonder , yonder , hee comes , get you backe agen , and looke you say as I aduiz'de you .

Enter Knight . Boy . You know me mistris ? Iew. My maske , my maske . Knig. My sweete Reuenewe ! Iew.

My pleasure welcome : I haue got single , none but you shall accompany mee to the Iustice of peace my Fathers .

Knight .

Why , is thy Father Iustice of Peace , and I not knowe it ?

Iewe.

My father ! yfaith sir I , simply tho I stand heere a Cittizens wife : I am a Iustice of Peaces Daughter .

Knight . I loue thee the better for thy birth . Knight .

Hee 's at thy seruice my sweete Reuenewe , for thy money paide for e'm .

Iewe.

Why then let him run a little before I beseech thee , for a my troth he will discouer vs else .

Knight .

Hee shall obey thee , before sirrha , trudge : but doe you meane to lye at your Fathers all night ?

Iewel .

Why should I desire your company else ?

Knight .

S'foot where shall I lye then .

Iewel .

What an idle question 's that ? why doe you hinke I cannot make roome for you in my Fathers house , as well as in my husbands , th' are both good for nothing else ?

Knight .

A man so resolute in valour as a Woman in desire , were an absolute Leader .

Exeunt . Enter two suters with the Iustice Falso . 1

May it plese your good worship maister Iustice .

Fals. Please me and please are your selfe , That s my word . 1

The partie your worship sent for , will by no means be brought to appeare .

Fals.

Hee will not , then what would you aduize me to doe therein ?

Onely to graunt your worships warrant , which is of sufficient force to compell him .

Fals.

No by my faith : you shall not haue me in that Trap : am I sworne Iustice of Peace , and shall I giue my warrant to fetch a man against his will ? why there the peace is Broken , wee must doe all quietly , if hee come hee 's welcome , and as far as I can see yet , hee s a foole to bee absent , I by this golde is hee ( which hee gaue me this morning )

Why , but may it please your good worshippe . —

Fals.

I say agen please me and please your selfe , that s my word still .

Sir , the world esteemes it a Common fauour , vpon the Contempt of the partie , the justice to graunt his warrant .

Fals.

I , t is so common , t is the worse agen , t were the better for me t were otherwise .

I protest sir , and this Gentleman can say as much , it lyes vpon my halfe vndooing .

Fals.

I cannot see yet , that it should be so — I see not a crosse yet .

I beseech your worship showe me your immediate fauour , and accept this small trifle but as a remembrance to my succeeding Thankfulnes .

Fals.

Angels ? i le not meddle with them , you giue e'm to my wife not to me .

I , I sir .

Fals.

But I pray tell mee nowe , did the partie Vina Voce , with his owne mouth deliuer that contempt , that that he would not appeare , or did you but iestint ?

1 Iest ? no a my troth sir , such was his insolent answer Fals.

And do you thinke it stood with my credite to put vp such an abuse ? will he not appeare sayes he ? I le make him appeare with a Vengeance Latronello .

Latr.

Do's your worship call ?

Fals.

Draw me a strong limbd warrant for the Gentleman speedily , he will be bountifull to thee : goe and thanke him within .

I shall know your worship hereafter .

Exeunt , Fals.

I , I prethee doe . Two Angels one partie , foure another : and I thinke it a great sparke of wisdome and policie ( if a man come to me for Iustice ) first to knowe his greefes by his fees , which bee light and which bee heauie : he may counterfet els , & make me do Iustice for nothing : I like not that , for when I meane to be iust , let me be paide wel for 't : the deed so rare , purges the bribe : how now , what 's the newes thou art come so hastily ? how fares my Knightly Brother ?

Furt.

Troth he nere farde worse in his life sir : he nere had lesse stomack to his meate since I knew him .

Fal.

Why sir ?

Furt.

Indeede hee 's dead sir .

Fal.

How sir ?

Furt.

Newly deceasd I can assure your Worship : the Tabacco-pipe new dropt out of his mouth before I tooke horse , a shrewd signe : I knew then there was no way but one with him , the poore pipe was the last man he took leaue off in this world , who sel in three peeces before him , & seem'd to mourne inwardly , for it lookt as blacke 'th mouth as my maister .

Fal.

Would hee die so like a Polititian , & not once write his minde to me ?

Fur.

No I le say that for him sir : he dyed in the perfect state of memorie , made your worship his ful and whole executor : bequeathing his Daughter , and with her all his wealth , onely to your disposition .

Fals.

Did he make such a godly end saist thou ? did he die so comfortably , and bequeath all to me ?

Fur. Your neece is at hand sir , the will , & the witnesses . Fals.

What a precious ioy and comfort 's this , that a Iustices brother can die so wel , nay in such a good and happie memorie , to make me full executor . Wel he was too honest to liue , and that made him die so soone : now I beshrew my heart , I am glad hee 's in heauen , has left all his cares and troubles with me , and that great vexation of telling of Money , yet I hope hee had so much grace before he died to turn his white mony into gold , a great ease to his Executor .

Furt. See here comes your Neece my yong mistris sir , Fals.

Ah my sweete Neece , let me kisse thee , & drop a teare betweene thy lips : one teare from an old man is a great matter , the cockes of age are drie , thou hast lost a vertuous father , to gaine a notable vncle .

Neece . My hopes now rest in you next vnder heauen Fals. Let 'em rest , let 'em rest . Gent. Sir ? Fals. Y' are most welcome ere ye begin sir . Gen. We are both led by oath and dreadfull promise , Made to the dying man at his last sence , First to deliuer these into your hands , The suerties and reuealers of his state . Fals. Good . Gen. With this his onely daughter and your Neece , Whose fortunes are at your disposing set , Vncle and father are in you both met . Fals.

Good yfaith , a well spoken Gentleman , y' are not an Esquire sir ?

Gent. Not sir . Fals.

Not sir ? more 's the pitie : by my faith better men then you are , but a great many worse : you see I haue beene a Scholler in my time , tho I 'me a Iustice nowe : Neece y' are most happily welcom , the charge of you is wholy and soly mine owne : and since you are so fortunately come Neece , I le rest a perpetuall widower .

Neece . I take the meaning chaster then the words : Yet I hope well of both , since it is thus , His phraise off ends least that 's knowne humourous . Fal.

I make my brother ( saies he ) full and whole Executor , honestly done of him yfaith , seldome can a man get such a brother : and here again saies he , very vertuously , I bequeath all to him and his disposing : an excellent fellow a my troth , would you might all die no worse , Gentlemen .

Enter Knight with Iewellers wife . Gen. But as much better as might be . Kni. Blesse your vprightnesse maister Iustice , Fals.

You 'r most soberly welcome sir : daughter y 'aue that ye kneele for , rise , salute your weeping coozen .

Iew. Weeping coozen ? Neece . I coozen . Kni.

Eye to weeping is verie proper , and so is the partie that spake it beleeue me , a prettie , fine , slender , streight , delicate knit bodie .

Oh how it moues a pleasure through our senses ! How small are womens wastes to their expences ? I cannot see her face , that 's vnder water yet . Iew.

Newes as cold to the heart as an old mans kindnesse : my vncle dead ?

Neece . I haue lost the deerest Father . Fal.

If she marry by your consent , choyce and liking make her dowrie fiue thousand crowns : hum , fiue thousand crownes ? therefore by my consent shee shall nere marry , I will neither chuse for her , like of it , nor consent too 't .

Kni.

Now by the pleasure of my blood a pretty coozen : I would not care , if I were as nere kin to her , as I haue beene to her kinswoman .

Fals. Daughter , what Gentleman might this be ? Iew. No Gentleman sir , hee 's a Knight . Fals.

Is he but a knight ? troth , I would a sworne had beene a Gentleman , to see , to see , to see .

Iew. Hee 's my husbands owne brother , I can tel you ( sir : Fal. Thy husbands brother : speak certainly prethee . Iew.

I can assure you father , my husband and hee has laine both in one bellie .

Fal.

I le swear then he is his brother indeed , & by the surer side : I craue heartie pardon sweete kinsman that thou hast stood so long vnsaluted in the way of kinred .

Welcome to my boord : I haue a bed for thee , My daughters husbands brother shall commaund ,

Keyes of my Chests and Chambers . — I haue stable for thy horse , chamber for thy selfe , and a loft abou for thy lowzie lackie , all fit , away with handkirchers , drie vp eies , at funeral we must cry : now let 's be wise .

Exeunt . Iew. I told you his affection . Fal. It fals sweetly . Iew. But here I bar you from all plots to night , The time is yet too heauie to be light . Kni. Why , I 'me còntent , i le sleepe as chast as you , And wager night by night who keepes most true . Iew. Well we shall see your temper . Exeunt . Enter Phoenix and Fidelio . Phoen.

Feare not me Fidelio : become you that inuisible Rope-maker the Scriuener , that binds a man as he walks yet all his ioynts at libertie , aswell as i le fit that common folly of Gentry , the easie-affecting venturer , and no doubt our purpose will arriue most happily .

Fid.

Chast dutie my Lord works powerfully in mee , and rather then the poore Ladie my mother should fall vpon the common side of rumour to begger her name , I would not only vndergoe all habits , offices , disguiz'd professions , tho ee'n opposite to the temper my blood holds : but in the stainlesse quarrell of her reputation , alter my shape for euer .

Phoe.

I loue thee wealthier , thou hast a noble touch , & by this means which is the only safe means to preserve thy mother from such an vgly land and sea monster as a counterfeit Captain is , he resigning and basely selling all his estate , title , right , and interest in his Ladie , as the forme of the writing shall testifie .

What otherwise can follow but to haue , A Ladie safe deliuered of a knaue ? Fid.

I am in debt my life , to the free goodnes of your inuentions .

Phoen. Oh they must euer striue to be so good , " Who sels his vow is stampt the slaue of blood . Exeunt Enter Captaine his Ladie following him . Cap. Away . Ladi. Captaine , my husband . Cap.

Hence , we 're at a price for thee , at a price , wants but the telling , and the sealing , then —

Ladie .

Haue you no sence , neither of my good name or your owne credit ?

Cap.

Credit ? pox of credit , that makes me owe so much : it had bine better for me by a thousand Royals I had lost my credite , seauen yeare ago , t 'as vndone me , that 's it that makes me flie : what neede I to sea else , in the Spring time , when Woods haue leaues , to looke vpon balde Oake .

Happier that man say I , whom no man trusts , It makes him valiant , dares outface the prisons , Vpon whose carkasse no Gownde Rauen iets , Oh he that has no credite owes no debts . T is time I were rid on 't . Ladie .

Oh why do you so wilfully cherrish your own poyson ? and breath against the best of life , chast credit .

Well may I call it chast , for like a Maide Once falsly broke it euer liues decaide . O Captaine , husband , you name that Dishonest , By whose good power all that are honest liue , What madnesse is it to speake ill of that , Which makes all men speake well , take away credite By which men amongst men , are well reputed , That man may liue , but still liues executed . Oh then shewe pittie to that noble Title Which else you doe Vsurpe : you 'r no true Captaine , To let your enemies leade you , foule disdaine , And euerlasting Scandall , Oh beleeue it ! The money you receive for my good name Will not be halfe enough to pay your shame . Cap.

No , i le sell thee then to the Smocke : see heere comes my honourable Chapman .

Enter Proditor . Lady . Oh my poyson ! Him , whome mine honour and mine eye abhors . Exit . Prod. Lady , what so vniouially departed ? Cap.

Fine shee pollicie ? she makes my backe her Bolster , but before my face , she not indures him , Tricks .

Prod.

Captaine , how haps it she remou'd so strangely ?

Cap.

Oh for Modesties cause awhile my Lord : shee must restraine her selfe , shee 's not yours yet :

Beside , it weare not wisdome to appeare ,

Easie before my sight , fah , wherefore serues modestie but to pleasure a Lady now and then , and help her from susspect , that 's the best vse t is put too .

Prod. Well obseru'd of a Captaine . Cap. No doubt you le be soone friendes my Lord . Prod. I thinke no lesse . Cap.

And make what hast I can to my ship , I durst wager you 'l be vnder saile before me .

Prod. A pleasant voyage Captaine . Cap.

I , a verie pleasant voyage as can be : I see the houre is Ripe , heere comes the Prisons Bawde the bond-maker , one that bindes heires before they are begot .

Prod. And here are the Crownes Captaine , goe ? attend , Let our bay Courser waite . Enter Phoenix and Fidelio both disguized . Lackey . It shall be obeyed . Cap. A Farmers sonne , i st true ? Fid. Has crownes to scatter ? Cap. I giue you your salute sir . Phoen. I take it not vnthankfully sir . Cap. I heare a good report of you sir — y 'aue money . Phoen. I haue so , true . Cap. An excellent vertue . Phoe. I , to keep from you — heare you me Captaine ?

I haue a certaine generous itch sir , to loose a fewe Angels in the way of profit : t is but a game at Tennis ,

Where if the ship keepe aboue line , t is three to one : If not , there 's but three hundred Angels gone . Cap.

Is your venture three hundred ? y' are verie pretiously welcome : heere 's a voyage towarde will make vs all . —

Phoen.

Beggerly fooles , and swarming knaues .

Prod. Captaine , what s he ? Cap.

Feare him not my Lord , hee 's a Gull , hee ventures with me , some filthy Farmers sonne , the father 's a Iew , and the sonne a Gentleman : pha . —

Prod.

Yet he should be a Iew too , for he is new come from giuing ouer swine .

Cap. Why , that in our Countrey makes him a Gentleman . Prod. Goe to , tell your money Captaine . Capi Read aloft Scriuener . 1.2 . — Fid.

To all good and honest Christian people , to whom this present writing shal come : know you for a certain , that I Captaine , for and in the consideration of the sum of fiue hundred crownes , haue clearly bargained , solde , giuen , graunted , assigned and set ouer , and by these presents doe cleerly bargaine , sell , giue , graunt , assigne and set ouer , al the right , estate , title , interest , demaund , possession , and tearme of yeares to come , which I the saide Captaine haue , or ought to haue . —

Phoen. If I were as good as I should be , — Fid.

In and to Madona Castiza , my most vertuous , modest , louing , and obedient wife . —

Cap. By my troth my Lord and so she is . — 3.4.5.6.7 . Phoe. The more Slaue he that sayes it , and not sees it . Fid.

Togither , with all and singular those admirable qualities with which her noble brest is furnisht .

Cap.

Well said Scriuener , hast put 'em all in : you shal heare now my L.

Fid. In primis , the beuties of her minde , chastitie , temperance , and aboue all , pacience : Cap. You haue bought a Iewell yfaith , my L , nine and thirtie , fortie . Fid.

Excellent in the best of Musicke , in voice delicious : in conference wise and pleasing : of age contentful : neither too yong to be a pish , nor too old to be sottish

Cap.

You haue bought as louely a penny-woorth my Lord , as ere you bought in your life .

Pro Why should I buy her else Captaine ? Fid.

And which is the best , of a wife a most comfortable sweete companion .

Cap.

I could not affoord her so y faith , but that I am-going to sea and haue need of money .

Fid. A most comfortable sweete companion . Prod. What agen ? the Scriuener reades in passion . Fid.

I read as the words moue me : yet if that be a faul it shall be seen no more , — which said Madona Castiza lying , & yet being in the occupation of the said captain

Cap.

Ninteene — occupation ? Pox out , out with occupation , a Captaine is of no occupation , man .

Phoen. Nor thou of no religion . Fid.

Now I come to the Habendum , to haue and to holde , vse and —

Cap. Vse ? put out vse too for shame . Till we are all gone , I prethee . Fid.

And to be acquited of and from all former bargaines , former sales :

Cap.

Former sailes , nine & twenty thirty , by my troth my Lord , this is the first time that euer I solde her .

Prod. Yet the writing must run so Captaine . Cap. Let it run on then , nine and fortie , fiftie , — Fid. Former sales , Guiftes , Grants , Surrenders . Reentryes . — Cap. For Reentryes , I will not sweare for her . Fid.

And furdermore ( I the said ) of and for the consideration of the somme of fiue hundred Crownes to set me a boord before these presents vtterly disclaime for euer , any Title , estate , right , interest , demaund , or possession , in or to the said Madona Castiza , my late vertuous , and vnfortunate wife .

Phoe. Vnfortunate indeede , that was wel plac'd . Fid.

As also neither to touch , attempt , molest , or incumber any parte , or partes whatsoeuer : either to bee namde or not to be namde : eyther hidden or vnhidden , eyther those that boldly looke abroad , or those that dare not show their face .

Cap.

Faces : I knowe what you meane by faces : Scriuener , there 's a great figure in faces .

Fid.

In witnesse wherof , I the said Captaine haue interchangeably set to my hand and seale : in presence of all these , the day and date aboue written .

Cap.

Verie good sir , I le bee ready for you presently , foure hundred and twentie . 1.2.3.4.5 . —

Phoe. Of all deedes , yet this strikes the deepest wound Into my apprehension , Reuerend , and honourable Matrimony , Mother of lawfull sweetes , vnshamed mornings : Dangerlesse pleasures , thou that mak'st the bed , Both pleasant , and legitimately fruitfull : without thee , All the whole world were soyled Bastardy . Thou art the onely and the greatest forme . That put'st a difference betweene our desires And the disordered appetites of Beastes , Making their mates , those that stand next their lusts . Then , — with what base iniurie is thy goodnes paide First , rare to haue a Bride commence a Maide , But do's beguile ioy of the puritie : And is made strickt by power of Drugs and Art , An Artificall Maide , a Doctord Virgin , And so deiceues the glorie of his bod : A foule contempt , against the spotlesse power Of sacred wedlocke , but if chast and honest , There is another Deuill hauntes marriage , ( None fondly loues but knowes it ) Iealousie , That Wedlocks yellow sicknes , that whispering seperation euerie minute . And thus the cursse takes his effect or progresse , The moste of men in their first suddaine furyes , Rayle at the narrow boundes of marriage , And cal 't a prison then it is moste iust , That the disease 'a th prison , Ielousie Should still affect a'm , but oh ! here I am fixt , To make sale of a wife , monstrous and foule , An act abhord in nature , could in soule : Who that ha's man in him , could so resigne , To make his shame , the poesye to the Coyne ? Cap. Right yfaith , my Lord fully fiue hundred , Prod.

I saide how you should finde it Captaine , and with this competent summe you rest amplye contented .

Cap. Amply contented . Fid. Heere 's the Pen Captaine : your name to the sale . Cap.

S'foote doost take me to be a pen-man ? I protest I could nere write more then A , B , C , those three letters in my life .

Fid Why those will serue Captaine . Cap. I could nere get furder . Phoe.

Would you haue got furder then A B C ? ah Base Captaine , that 's far ynough yfaith .

Fid. Take the Seale off Captaine . Cap. It goes on hardly , and comes off easily . Phoe. I iust like a Coward . Fid. Will you write witnesse Gentleman ? Cap.

Hee ? he shall , prethe come and set thy hand for witnesse Rogue , thou shall venture with me ?

Phoe.

Nay , then I ha reason Captaine that commaunds me ?

Cap.

What a faire fist the pretty whorsone writes , as if he had had manners and bringing vp , a farmers Sonne : his Father dam's himselfe to sell mustie Corne , while hee ventures the Money , t will prosper well at Sea no doubt he shall nere see 't agein

Fid. So , Captaine you deliuer this as your deede . Cap. As my deede , what else sir ? Phoe. The ouglyest deed that ere mine eye did witnes Cap.

So my Lord , you haue her , clip her , enioy her , shee 's your owne , and let me be proud to tell you now my Lord , shee 's as good a soule if a man had a minde to liue honest , and keepe a wench , the Kindest , sweetest , comfortablest Rogue . —

Prod. Harke in thine eare , The Baser slaue art thou : and so i le tell her , I loue the Pearle , thou soldst , hate thee the Seller — Goe , to Sea , the end of thee — is Lowsie . Cap: This fine worke : a verie braue end , hum — Pro. Wel thought vpon , this Scriuener may furnish me Phoe. Why should this fellowe be a Lord by birth ? Being by bloud a Knaue , one that would sell His Lordship if he likt her Ladyship . Fid. Yes my Lord . Phoe : What 's here Now ? Prod: I haue imployment for a trustie fellow , bould , sure — Fid. What if he be a Knaue my Lord ? Prod.

There thou comst to me , why he should be so , and men of your quill are not vnacquainted .

Fid.

Indeed al our chiefe liuing my Lord , is by fooles and knaues , we could not keepe open shop else : Fooles that enter into bonds , and Knaues that binde e'm .

Prod. Why now we meete . Fid.

And as my memorie happily leades me : I know a fellowe of a standing estate , neuer flowing : I durst conuey treason into his bosome ,

And keepe it safe nine yeares . Prod. A goodly Time . Fid. And if neede were would presse to an attempt , And cleaue to Desperate action . Prod. That Last fits mee . Thou hast the measure right , looke I heare from thee . Fid. With duteous speede . Prod. Expect a large reward : I will finde time of her to finde regard . Exit . Cap. The end of me is lowzie . Fid. Oh my Lord ! I haue strange wordes to tell you . Phoe.

Stranger yet ? i le chuse some other hower to listen to thee , I am yet sicke of this , discouer quickly .

Fid. Why , wil you make yourselfe knowne my Lord Phoe. I . Who scourgeth sinne let him doo 't dreadfully . Cap. Pox of his dissemblance : I will to sea . Phoe.

Nay , you shall to sea , thou wouldst poyson the whole land else — why how now Captaine ?

Cap. In health . Fid. What , drooping ? Phoen. Or a shamde of the sale of thine owne wife ? Cap. You might count me an asse then yfaith . Phoe. If not a sham'd of that , what can you be a shamd of then ? Cap. Prethe ha done , I am asham'd of nothing . Phoe. I easily beleeue that . Cap. This Lord stickes in my stomacke . Phoe. How ? take one of thy fethers downe , and fetch him vp . Fid. I de make him come . Phoe. But what if the Duke should heare of this ? Fid.

I , or your Sonne in Law , Fidelio knowes of the sale of his mother .

Cap.

What and they did , I sell none but mine owne : as for the Duke , hee 's abroad by this time , and for Fidelio hee 's in labour .

Phoe. Hee , in labour ? Cap: What call you Trauelling ? Phoe.

That 's true : — but let me tell you Captain : whether the Duke heare on 't , or Fidelio know on 't : or both , or neither , t wa's a moste filthie loathsome part .

Fid A base vnnaturall deede — Cap: Slaue and foole : — ha , who ? oh — Phoe. Thou hatefull villaine : thou shouldst chuse ( to sincke To keepe thy basenes shrouded . Enter his Lady . Fid. Ougly wretch . La: Who hath laid violence vpon my husband ? My deare sweet Captaine , helpe — Phoe. Lady you wrong your value , Call you him deere that has solde you so cheape ? Lady I do beseech your pardon good my Lord . Phoe. Rise . Fid. My abused Mother : La. My kinde Sonne , Whose liking I neglected in this match . Fid. Not that alone , but you far happyer fortunes . Cap Is this the Scriuener and the Farmers Sonne , Fire on his Lordship he tolde me they Trauaild . Phoe. And see the summe tolde out to buy that Iewel More pretious in a Woman then her eye , her honour : Nay take it to you Lady , and iudge it ,

Too slight a recompence , for your great wrong , but that his riddance helpes it .

Cap: S'foot he vndoes me , I am a Rogue & a Beggar , The Aegiptian plague creepes ouer me alreadie , I begin to be lowsie . Phoe : Thus happily preuented , y' are set free , Or else made ouer to adulterie . Lad. To heauen and to you my modest thankes . Phoe. Monster , to sea , spit thy al horred foame , Where it may doe least harme , ther 's ayre and roeme . Thour't Dangerous in a Chamber , Virulext Venem , Vnto a Ladies name , and her chast breath If past this euenings verge , the Dukedome hold thee , Thou art reseru'd for abiect punishment . Cap:

I doe beseech your good Lordship consider the state of a poore downe-cast Captaine .

Phoe.

Captaine , off with that noble title thou becomst it vildely , I nere saw the name fit worse , i le sooner allowe a Pandar a Captaine then thee .

Cap. More 's the pittie . Phoe. Sue to thy Lady for pardon . Lad. I giue it without suite . Cap.

I do beseech your Ladiship not so much for pardon , as to bestow a few of those Crownes vpon a poore vnfethered Rouer that will as truely pray for you , and wish you hangd , as any man breathing .

Lady . I giue it freely all . Phoe. Nay by your fauour : I will containe you Lady , here , be gone : Vse slaues like slaues — wealth keepes their faults vnkowne . Cap. Well' ime yet glad , i 'ue libertie and these : The Land has plagu'd me , and i le plague the seas . Exit . Phoe. The Sceane is cleer'd , the bane of brightnes fled Who sought the death of honour , is strucke dead . Come modest Lady : Fid: My moste honest mother . Phoe. Thy vertue shall liue safe from reach of shames , That Act endes nobly , preserues Ladies fames . Exeunt . Enter Iustice , Knight , Iewel . Fals.

Why this is but the second time of your comming Kinsman , visit me oftner , Daughter , I charge you bring this Gentleman along with you : Gentleman , I I crie yee mercy sir , I call you Gentleman still : I forget y' are but a Knight , you must pardon me sir .

Knight .

For your worships kindenes — worship I crie you mercie sir , I call you worshipfull still , I forget , y' are but a Iustice .

Fals. I am no more yfaith . Knig. You must pardon me sir . Fals.

T is quickly done sir , you see I make bould with you Kinsman , thrust my Daughter and you into one Chamber .

Knight . Best of all sir : Kinred you knowe may lye anye where . Fals

True , true sir , Daughter receiue your blessing — take heed the Coach iopper not to much , haue a care to the fruits of your bodye — looke to her Kinsman .

Knight . Feare it not sir . Iewel .

Nay Father though I say it , that should not say it , hee lookes to me more like a husband then a Kinsman .

Fals. I heare good commendations of you sir . Knig. You heare the worst of me I hope sir , — I salute my leaue sir . Fals.

Y' are welcome all ouer your body sir : nay , I can behaue my selfe courtly , though I keepe house 'i th Countrie : what , does my Neece hide herselfe , not present , ha ? Latronello .

Latr. Sir . Fals. Call my Neece to mee . Latr. Yes sir . Fals.

A foolish , coy , bashfull thing it is , shee 's afraid to lie with her owne Vncle : i de do her no harme yfaith , I keepe my selfe a widdower a purpose , yet the foolish Girle will not looke into 't , shee should haue all yfaith , shee knowes I haue but a time , cannot holde long , see where she comes , pray whome am I Neece ?

Neece . I hope y' are your selfe . Vncle to me , and Brother to my Father . Fals.

Oh am I so , it do's not appeare so , — for surely you would loue your Fathers Brother for your Fathers sake , your Vncle for your owne sake .

Neece . I doe so . Fals.

Nay you doe nothing Neece .

Neece . In that loue which becomes you best I loue ( you . Fals. How should I know that loue becomes me best ? Neece . Because t is chast , and honorable . Fals. Honorable ! it cannot become me then Neece . For 'i me scarce worshipfull : Is this an age , To entertaine bare loue without the fruites When I receiu'd thee first , I look't Thou shouldst haue beene a wife vnto my house And sau'd me from the charge of marriage .

Do you thinke your Fathers fiue thousand pound wold ha made me take you else ? no , you should neere a ha beene a charge to me .

As far as I can perceiue yet by you ,

I 'ue as much neede to marrie as ere I had : would not this be a greate griefe to your friendes thinke you , if they were aliue agen ?

Neece : T would be a griefe indeede . Fals. Y 'aue confest All about house , that young Fidelio Who in his Trauailes does attend the Prince , Is your vowde loue . Neece . Most true , hee 's my vow'd Husband . Fals.

And what 's a Husband is not a Husband a stranger at first , and wil you lye with a stranger before you lie with your owne Vncle ? take heede what yee doe Neece , I counsell you for the best : strangers are drunken fellowes I can tell you , they will come home late a nights , beate their wiues , and get nothing but Girles : look too 't , if you marry , your stubbernes is your Dowrie : fiue thousand Crownes were bequeathed to you , true , if you marry with my consent : but if ere you goe to marrying by my consent , i le goe to hanging by your's : goe too , be wise and loue your Vncle .

Neece . I should haue cause then to repent indeede . Do you so far forget the Offices Of blushing modestie ? Vncles are halfe Fathers , Why they come so neare our bloods th' are ene part of it . Fals.

Why now you come to mee Neece : if your Vncle be part of your owne flesh and blood , is it not then fit your owne flesh and bloud should come neerest to you ? answere me to that Neece .

Neece . You doe allude all to incestuous will , Nothing to modest purpose : turne me foorth , Be like an Vncle of these latter daies , Periurde ynough , ynough vnnaturall , Play your Executorship , in Tyranny , Restraine my fortunes , keepe me poore , I care not , In this alone moste women i le excell , I le rather yelde to beggery then to hell . Exit . Fals.

Very good , a my troth my Neece is Valiant , sha 's made me ritcher by fiue thousand Crownes , the price of her Dowrie : are you so honest , I doe not feare but I shall haue the Conscience to keepe you poore ynough Neece , or else I am quite altered a late — The Newes , may it please you sir ?

Latron.

Sir , there s an olde fellowe , a kinde of Law-driuer , entreates conference with your worship .

Fals.

A Law-driuer , prethee driue him hither .

Enter Tangle . Tan.

No , no I say if it bee for defect of Apparance , take me out a speciall Significauit .

Whin . Verie good sir . Tan.

Then if he purchase an Alias or Capias , which are Writs of custome , onely to delay time , your Procedendo do's you Knights seruice — that 's nothing at all , get your Distringas out as soone as you can for a Iurie .

Whi. I le attend your god worships comming out . Tan. Do I prethee , attend me , i le take it kindly , a Voluntate . Fals. What , old Seigneur Tangle ! Tan. I am in debt to your worships remembrance . Fals.

My old master of Fence : come , come , come , I haue not exerciz'd this twelue Moones , I haue almost forgot all my Law-weapons .

Tan.

They are vnder fine and Recouerie , your worship shall easily recouer them .

Fals. I hope so : when there ? Latron. Sir . Fals.

The Rapler and Dagger foyles instantly : and what s thy suite to mee olde Tangle , i le graunt it presently .

Tang.

Nothing but this sir , to set your worships hand to the commendation of a Knaue whome no bodye speakes well on .

Fals. The more shame for e'm , what was his offence I pray ? Tang. Vestras Deducite Culpas — nothing but robbing a Vestrie . Fals.

What , what ! alasse poore Knaue , giue me the Paper , he did but saue the Churchwardens a labour : come , come , he has done a better deed in 't then the parish is a aware off , to preuent the Knaues , hee robs but seldome , they once a quarter : me thinks t were a part of good iustice , to hang e'm at yeares end , wen they come out of their office , to the true terrifying of all Collectors and Sidemen .

Tang.

Your worship would make a fruitefull Common-wealths man , the Constable lets e'm alone , looks on , and sayes nothing .

Fals.

A lasse good man , he lets e'm alone for quietnes sake , and takes halfe a share with e'm : they know wel enough too , he ha's an impediment in his tongue , hee 's alwaies drunke when he should speake .

Tang.

Indeede your worship speakes true in that sir : they blinde him with beere , and make him so narrowe eyde , that he wincks naturallye at all their Knaueries ,

Fals. So , so , heere s my hand to his commendations . Tangle . A Charitate , you doe a charitable deede in 't sir . Fals.

Nay , if it be but a Vestrie matter , visit me at anye time , olde Signeor Law-thistle ! O well done , heere are the Foiles , come , come sir , i le trie a Law-bout with you .

Tan.

I am affraide I shall ouerthrowe you sir yfaith .

Fals.

T is but for want of vse then sir .

Tan.

Indeed that same odde word Vse , makes a man a good Lawyer , and a woman an arrant — tuh tuh , tuh , tuh , tuh , now am I for you sir : but first to bring you into forme , can your worship name all your weapons ?

Fals.

That I can I hope , let me see , Longswoord , what 's Longsword ? I am so duld with dooing justice , that I haue forgot all yfaith .

Tan. Your long sword , that s a writ of delay . Fals.

Masse that swords long enough indeede , I ha knowne it reach the length of fifteene Tearmes .

Tang Fifteene Tearmes , that 's but a short sword . Fals. Me thinkes t is long enough , proceede sir . Tang. A Writ of Delay , Long-sword . Scandala Magnatum , Backesword . Fals. Scandals are back-swords indeede Tang. Capias cominus , Case of Rapyers . Fals. Oh Desperate ! Tang. A Latitat , sword and Dagger . Fals. A writ of Execution , Rapier and Dagger . Fals.

Thou art come to our present weapon , but what call you sword and Buckler then ?

Tang.

Oh! that 's out of vse now , sword and Buckler was cal'd a good conscience , but that weapons left long agoe , that was too manly a fight , too sound a weapon for these our daies , sl'id wee are scarce able to lift vp a Buckler now , our armes are so bound to the Poxe : one good bang vppon a Buckler would make moste of our Gentlemen flye a peeces , t is not for these lintie times , our Lawyers are good Rapyer and Dagger men , thei le quickly dispatch your — money .

Fals.

Indeede since sword and buckler time , I haue obseru'd , there ha's beene nothing so much fighting : where bee all our gallant Swaggerers ? there are no good frayes alate .

Tang.

Oh sir , the properties altred , you shall see lesse fighting euerie day then other , for euerie one gets him a Mistris , and she giues him woundes enowe , and you knowe , the Surgeons cannot bee here and there too , if there were red woundes too , what wold become of the Reinish woundes ?

Fals.

Thou saist true yfaith , they would bee but il favouredly lookt to then .

Tang. Verie well sir . Fals. I expect you sir . Tang.

I lye in this court for you sir , my Rapyer is my Atturney , and my Dagger his Clarke .

Fals.

Your Atturney wants a little oyling , me thinkes , he lookes very Rustily .

Tang.

T is but his proper colour sir , his Father was an Iremonger , he will nere look brighter , the rust ha's so eat into him , ha's neuer any leasure to be made cleane .

Fals. Not in the vacation . Tang. Non Vacat exiguis rebus adesse Ioui . Fals.

Then Ioue will not be at leysure to scoure him , because he nere came to him before .

Tang.

Y' are excellent at it sir — and now you least thinke on 't , I arrest you sir .

Fals. Very good sir . Tang.

Nay very bad sir by my faith — I followe you still , as the Officers wil followe you as long as you haue a penny .

Fals.

You speake sentences sir — by this time haue I tryed my friendes , and now I thrust in baile —

Tang:

This baile will not be taken sir , they must be two Cittizens that are no Cuckolds .

Fals.

Berlady then 'i me like to lye by it , I had rather t were a hundred that were .

Tang. Take heede I bring you not to an Nisiprius sir . Fals. I must ward my selfe as well as I may sir . Tang.

T is Court day now , Declarat Atturnatus , my Atturney gapes for money .

Fals. You shall haue no Aduantage yet , I put in my Answere . Fals. I follow the sute still sir . Fals.

I like not this Court birlady — I : take me out a writ of Remoue , a writ of Remoue , doe you see sir ?

Tang: Very well sir . Fals. And place my cause higher . Tang,

There you started me sir — yet for all your Demurres , Plures , and Sursurarers , which are all Longswords : that 's Delaies : al the comfort is , in nine yeares a man may ouerthrowe you .

Fal. You must thanke your good friendes then sir . Tang.

Let nine yeares passe , fiue hundred crownes cast away a both sides , and the suite not twentie , my Counsellors wife must haue another hood you knowe , and my Atturneyes wife wil haue a new forepart , yet see at length law , I shal haue law : now beware , I bring you to a narrowe exigent , and by no meanes can you auoide the Proclamation —

Fals. Oh! Tang.

Now followes a writ of execution , a Capias , vt Legatum , giues you a wound mortall , trippes vp your heeles , and layes you i th Counter .

Fals. O Villaine ! Tang.

I crie your worship heartily mercie sir , I thought we had beene in Lawe together , Aduersarius contra aduersarium by my troth .

Fals.

Oh! reach me thy hand , I nere had such an ouerthrowe in my life .

Tang.

T wa's long of your Atturney there , hee might a staide the execution of Capias vt Legatum , and remou'd you with a Supersedeas non molestandum into the Court of Equitie .

Fals. Pox on him , he fell out of my hand when I had most neede of him , Tan. I was bound to follow the suite sir . Fals. Thou couldst doe no lesse then ouerthrowe me , I must needes say so . Tang. You had recouered cost else sir . Fals.

And now by 'th masse I thinke I shal hardly recouer without cost .

Tang.

Nay , that 's Certoscio , an execution is very chargeable .

Fals.

Well , it shall teach mee witte as long as I am a Iustice : I perceiue by this tryall , if a man haue a sound fall in Law , hee shall feele it in his bones all his life after .

Tang.

Nay , that 's Recto vpon Record , for I my selfe was ouerthrowne in eighty eight by a Taylor , and I haue had a Stitch in my side euer since , oh !

Exeunt . Toward the close of the musick , the Iustices three men prepare for a robberie . Enter Iustice Falso , vntrust . Fals.

Why Latronello , Furtiuo , Fucato , where be these lazie knaues that should trusse me , not one stirring yet ?

A crie within .

Followe , followe , followe .

Fals. What newes there ? A cry . This way , this way , follow , follow . Fals.

Hark you sluggish Soporiferous villaines , ther 's knaues abroad when you are a bed , are ye not a sham'd on 't , a Iustices men should be vp first , and giue example all knaues .

Enter two of his men tumbling in , in False beards . Latro. Oh I beseech your good worship . Fuca. Your worshipfull worship . Fal.

Theeues , my two hand sword , i me rob'd 'i th Hal , Latronello , Knaues , come down , my two hand sword I

Latron. I am Latronello , I beseech your worship , ( say . Fals. Thou Latronello , thou lyest , my men scorne to haue beardes . Latr.

We forget our beards , now I beseech your worship quickly remember vs .

Fals. How now ? Fuc. Nay there s no time to talke of how now , t is don . A cry . Follow , follow , follow . Latro.

Foure marke and a Liuerie is not able to keepe life and soule together , wee must flye out once a quarte , t is for your worships credit to haue moneye in our pursse , our Fellow Furtiuo is taken in the Action .

Fal. A pox on him for a lazie knaue , would hee bee taken ? Fuc.

They bring him along to your worship , your the next Iustice , now or neuer show your selfe a good maister , an vpright Magistrate , and deliuer him out of their hands .

Fals.

Nay , he shal finde me — apt enough to doe him good I warrant him .

Latr: Hee comes in a false beard sir . Fals.

S'foot what , should hee doe here else ? there 's no comming to me in a true on : if he had one , — the slaue to be taken : doe not I keepe Geldings swift enough ?

Latron.

The goodlyest Geldings of any Gentleman in the shire .

Fals.

Which did the whorson knaue ride vpon ?

Enter . Vpon one of your best sir . Fucat. Stand and deliuer . Fals.

Vpon Stand and Deliuer : the verie Gelding I chuse for mine owne riding , as nimble as Pegasus the flying horse yonder : goe shift your selues into your coates , bring hither a great chaire , and a little table .

Fucat. With all present speede sir . Fals. And Latronello . Latron. I sir . Fals. Sit you downe , & very soberly take the examination . Latro.

I le drawe a few horse heades in a paper , make a shew : I hope I shall keepe my countenence .

Fals.

Pox on him agen , would he be taken ? hee frets me : I haue beene a youth my selfe , I ha seene the day I could haue told money out of other mens purses ( Masse so I can doe now ) nor will I keepe that fellow about me that dares not bid a man stand : for as long as drunkennesse is a vice , stand is a vertue : but I would not haue 'em taken . I remember now betimes in a morning I would haue peept through the greene boughs , & haue had the partie presently , and then to ride away sinelye in feare , t was e'en Venerie to me yfaith , the pleasantst course of life , one would thinke euery Woodcok a Constable , and euery Owle an officer , but those dayes are past with mee : and a my troth I thinke I am a greater theefe now , and in no danger : I can take my ease , sit in my Chaire , look in your faces now , and rob you , make you bring your money by authoritie put off your hat , and thanke me for robbing of you , O there is nothing to a theefe vnder Couert Barne .

Enter Phoenix , Fidelio being robd , Constable , Officers and the Theefe Furtino . Const. Come Officers bring him away . Fals.

Nay , I see thee through thy false beard , thou mid-winde chinde Rascall ,

How now my Maisters , what s he ? ha ? Con.

Your worship knowes , I neuer come but I bring a theefe with me .

Fals. Thou hast left thy wont else Constable . Phoe.

Sir , we vnderstand you to be the onely vp rightnes of this place .

Fals. But I scare vnderstand you sir . Phoe. Why then you vnderstand not your selfe sir . Fals.

Such another word , and you shal change places with the Theefe .

Phoe. A maintayner of equall causes I meane . Fals. Now I haue you , proceede sir . Phoe.

This Gentleman and my selfe , being led heather by occasion of businesse , haue beene offered the discurtesie of the Country , set vppon by three theeues and rob'd .

Fals. What are become of the other two , Latronello , and Fuca ? Latro. Heere sir . Phoe.

They both made away from vs , the crie pursues e'm , but as yet none but this taken .

Fals. Latronello . Latron. Sir . Fals. Take his examination . Latro. Yes sir . Fals. Let the Knaue stand single . Furt. Thanke your good worship . Fals. Ha's beene a suter at Court sure , hee thankes me for nothing . Phoe. Hee 's a Theefe now sure . Fals. That we must know of him , what are you sir ? Furt. A peece next to the Taile sir — a Seruingman . Fals.

By my troth a prettie phrase and verye cleanly handled , put it downe Latronello : thou mayst make vse on 't . Is hee of honour or worship whom thou seruest ?

Fur.

Of both deere sir , honourable in minde , and worshipfull in bodie .

Fals. Why would one wish a man to speake better ? Phoen Oh sir , they most commonly speake best , that doe worst . Fals.

Say you so sir , then wee le trie him farther , — Do's your right worshipfull maister , goe before you , as an ensample of Vice , and so encourage you to this slinking iniquitie ? hee is not a Lawer , is he ?

Furt.

Ha's the more wrong sir , both for his conscience , and honestie , he deserues to be one .

Fal. Pittie hee 's theefe yfaith , I should entertaine him else . Phoen.

I , if he were not as he is , hee would be better then himselfe .

Furt.

No t is well knowne sir , I haue a maister , the verie picture of wisdome ,

Lat. For indeed he speakes not one wise worde . Furt. And no man but will admire to heare of his Vertues . Lat. Because he nere had any in all his life . Fals. You write all downe Latronello . Latr. I warrant you sir . Furt. So sober , so discrete , so iudicious : Fals. Hum . Furt. And aboue all , of most reuerend grauitie . Fals.

I like him for one qualitie , hee speakes well of his maister , he will fare the better : — Now sir , let mee touch you ,

Fur. I sir . Fals.

Why , seruing a Gentleman of such worship and wisdome , such sobrietie and vertue , such discretion and iudgement as your master is , doe you take such a beastly course , to stop horses , hinder Gentlewomen from their meetings , and make Citizens neuer ride but a Sundaies , onely to auoyd Morning praier and you : is it because your worshipfull Ma. feeds you with leane spits , paies you with Irish mony , or clothes you in northern dozens ?

Furt.

Farre be it from his mind , or my report , T is well knowne he kept worshipful cheer the day of his wiues burial , payes our foure marks a yeare as duly by twelue pence a quarter as can be .

Phoe. His wisdome swallowes it . Furt. And for Northren dozens , fie , fie , wee were nere troubled with so many . Fals.

Receiuing then such plenteous blessings from your vertuous and bountiful master , what cause haue you to be theefe now ? answer me to that geere :

Furt. T is ee'n as a man giues his mind too 't sir . Fals. How sir ? Furt.

For alas , if the whole worlde were but of one trade ; traffique were nothing : if wee were all truemen , wee should bee of no trade : what a pittifull world would heere bee , heauen forbid we should bee all truemen : then howe should your worships next suite bee made ? not a Tayler left in the lande : of what stuffe would you haue it made ? not a Merchant left to deliuer it , would your worship goe in that sute still ? You would ha more theeues about you then those you haue banisht , and be glad to call the great ones home agen , to destroy the little .

Phoe. A notable Rogue . Fal.

A my troth , a fine knaue , & ha's answered me gloriously , what wages wilt thou take after thou art hang'd ?

Furt.

More then your worship's able to giue , I would thinke foule scorne to be a Iustice then .

Fal.

He sayes true too yfayth , for we are all full of corruption here , — hearke you my friends .

Phoe. Sir . Fal.

By my troth if you were no crueller then I , I could find in my hart to let him goe .

Phoe. Could you so sir , the more pittiful Iustice you . Fal.

Nay I did but to trie you , if you haue no pittie , I le ha none , away hee 's a Theefe , to prison with him .

Furt. I am content sir . Fal.

Are you content , bring him backe , nay then you shall not goe .

Fal.

I le be as cruel as you can wish : y' are content , belike you haue a tricke to breake prison , or a bribe for the Officers .

Const. For vs sir ? Fal.

For you sir ? what colour 's siluer I pray , you nere saw mony in your life : — I le not trust you with him , Latronello and Fucato , lay hold vpon him , to your charge I commit him .

Furt. Oh , I beseech you sir . Fal. Nay if I must be cruell , I will be cruell . Furt. Good sir , let me rather goe to prison . Fal.

You desire that , — I le trust no prison with you , I le make you lye in mine own house , or I le know why I shal not .

Furt. Mercifull sir . Fals. Since you haue no pittie I will be cruell . Phoe. Verie good sir , you please vs well . Fals. You shall appeare to morrow sirs . Furt. Vpon my knees sir . Fal.

You shall be hang'd out a' th way , away with him Latronello , and Fucato , — Officers I discharge you my house , I like not your companie .

Report me as you see me , fire and fuell , If men be Iewes , Iustices must be cruell . Exeunt . Phoe. So sir , Extreames set of all Actions thus , Eyther too tame , or else too tyranous : He being bent to furie , I doubt now We shall not gaine accesse vnto your loue or she to vs . Fid. Most wishfully here she comes . Enter Neece . Phoen. Is that shee ? Fid. This is she my Lord . Phoen. A modest presence . Fid. Vertue blesse you Ladie , Neece . You wish me well sir . Fid. I 'de first in charge this kisse , and next this paper , You 'le know the language , t is Fidelios . Neece . My euer vowed loue , how is his health ? Fid. As faire as is his fauour with the Prince . Nee. I 'me sick with ioy , do's the Prince loue him so ? Fid. His life cannot requite it , Not to wrong the remembrance of his loue , I had a token for you , kept it safe , Till by misfortune of the way this morning , Theeues set vpon this Gentleman and my selfe , And with the rest robd that . Neece . Oh me , I 'me deerly sorie for your chance , was it your losse ? They boldly looke you in the face that rob'd you , No farther villaines then my vncles men . Phoen. What Ladie ? Neece . T is my griefe I speake so true . Fid. Why my Lord ? Phoen. But giue me pawsing Lady : was hee one that tooke the examination ? Neece . One and the chiefe . Phoe. Hence-forth hang him that is no way a theefe ,

Then I hope few will suffer , — nay all the iest was , hee committed him to the charge of his fellowes , and the rogue made it lamentable , cryed to leaue 'em .

None liue so wise but fooles may once deceiue em ? Fid. An vncle so insaciate ? Phoen. I , I st not strange too , That al should be by Nature vicious , and he bad against Nature ? Neece . Then you haue heard the sum of al my wrongs . Phoe. Lady , we haue , and desire rather now To heale 'em , then to heare 'em : For by a letter from Fidelio Direct to vs , we are entreated ioyntly , To hasten your remoue from this foule den , Of theft and purpos'd incest : Neece . I reioyce in his chast care of mee , I le soone bee furnisht . Fid. He writes that his returne cannot be long . Neece . I 'me chiefly glad , — but whither is the place ? Phoen. To the safe seate of his late wronged mother . Neece . I desire it , — Her conference will fit mine , well you preuaile , Phoen. At next groue wee le expect you : Neece . I le not faile . Exeunt . Enter Knight , and Iewella . Knig. It stands vpon the frame of my reputation I protest Ladie . Iewel .

Ladie , that worde is worth an hundred Angels at all times , for it cost more : if I liue til tomorrow night , my sweete pleasure thou shalt haue them .

Kni. Could you not make 'em a hundred and fiftie thinke you ? Iew. I le do my best endeuour to multiply , I assure you . Kni. Could you not make 'em two hundred ? Iew. No by my faith . — Kn. Peace , i le rather be confin'd in the hundred & fifty . Iewel .

Come ee'n much about this time , when Tauerns giue vp their Ghosts , and Gentlemen are in their first cast . —

Knig. I le obserue the season . Iew.

And doe but whirle the Ring a' th doore once about , my maid-seruant shal be taught to vnderstand the language .

Kni. Inough my sweet Reuenew . Iew. Good rest my effectuall pleasure . Exeunt . Enter Proditor , and Phoenix . Prod. Come hither Phoenix . Phoe. What makes your honour breake so earely ? Prod. A toy , I haue a toy . Phoe. A toy my Lord . Prod: Before thou layest thy wrath vpon the duke , — be aduiz'd . Phoe : I , I , I warran you my Lord . Prod. Nay , giue my words honour , heare me , I le striue to bring this Act into such forme , And credite amongst men , they shall suppose . Nay verily beleeue the Prince his sonne , To be the plotter of his Fathers murther . Phoe : Oh that were infinitely admirable ! Prod. Wert not , it pleaseth me beyond my blisse : Prod. Then if his sonne meet death as he returnes , Or by my hired Instruments turne vp , The generall voice will crie — O happy vengeance ! Phoe. O blessed vengeance ! Pro. I , i le turn my braine Into a thousand vses , Tire my inuentions , Make my blood sicke with studie , and mine eye More hollow then my heart , but I will fashion , Nay I will fashion it , — Canst counterfet ? Phoe. The Princes hand , more truly , most direct , You shall admire it . Prod. Necessarie mischiefe . Next to a woman , but more close in secrets Thou 'rt all the kinred that my breast vouchsafes , Looke into me anon , — I must frame , and muse , and fashion — Exit . Phoe. T was time to looke into thee , in whose heart Treason growes ripe , and therefore fit to fall , That slaue first sinkes , whose enuie threatens all , Now is his Venom at full height . Voices within . 1 Voic.

Lying , or being in the said Countie in the Tenor and occupation aforesaide .

2 Voyce .

No more then , a writ of course vpon the matter of —

3. Voice . Silence . 4. Voice .

Oh o-o-o-yes Carlo Turbulenzo , appeare or loose twentie marke in the suites .

Phoe :

Ha ? whether haue my thoughts conueyed me ? I am now within the Dizzie murmur of the law .

1 Voyce .

So that then , the cause being found cleere , vpon the last Scitation .

4 Voice . Carlo turbulenzo , Come into the Court . Enter Tangle w̄ith two after him . Tang.

Now , now , now , now , now , vpon my knees I praise Mercury the God of law , I haue two suits at issue , two suites at issue .

1 Doe you heare sir ? Tang. I wil not heare , i 'ue other busines . 1 I beseech you my learned Counsell . Tang.

Beseech not me , beseech not me , I am a mortall man , a Clyent as you are , beseech not me .

I would doe all by your worships direction .

Tang. Then hang thy selfe . 2 Shall I take out a speciall supplycauit . Tang.

Mad me not , torment me not , teare me not , you le giue me leaue to heare mine own cause , mine owne cause

1. Voice .

Nay moreouer , and farder —

Tang. Well said my Lawyer , well saide , well saide . 1. Voice .

All the opprobious speeches that man could inuent all malicious inuectiues , called Wittoll to his face .

Tan.

That s I , that s I , thank you my learned counsell for your good remembrance : I hope I shall ouerthrowe him horse and foote .

1. Nay but good sir . Tang:

No more sir , he that brings me happy newes first i le releeue first .

Both . Sound executions rot thy cause and thee . Exeunt : Ta:

I , I , I , pray so still , pray so still , thei le thriue the better

Phoe. I wonder how this fellow keepes out madnes ? What stuffe his braines are made on ? Tan. I suffer , I suffer , — till I here a iudgement . Phoe. What old Signior ? Tan

Prethee I will not knowe thee nowe , t is a busie time , a busie time with me .

Phoe. What not me Signeur ? Tang.

Oh crie thee mercie , giue me thy hande , — fare thee well , — ha's no reliefe agen mee then , — his demurs will not help him , his Sursararaes wil but play the knaues with him .

Enter Iustice Falso . Phoen.

The Iustice : t is hee

Fals.

Haue I found thee yfaith ? I thought where I should smell thee out old Tangle .

Tan.

What old Signeur Iusticer , — embrace me another time and you can possible : how do's all thy wiues children , — well ? that 's well said yfayth .

Fals. Heare me olde Tangle . Tan. Prethee doe not rauish me , let me goe . Fals. I must vse some of thy counsaile first . Tan.

Sirrah , I ha brought him to an Exigent , hark that 's my cause , that s my cause yonder , I twind'g him , I twind'g him .

Fals.

My Neece is stolne away .

Tan.

Ah , get mee a ne exeat Regno quickly , nay you must not stay vppo' nt , I de faine haue you gone .

Fals. A ne exeat Regno , i le about it presently , — adue . Phoe. You seeke to catch her Iustice , shee le catch you . 1 A iudgement , a iudgement . Enter 1. Tang. What , what , what ? 1 Ouerthrowne , ouerthrowne , ouerthrowne . Tan. Ha , a , a. 2 Newes , newes , newes . Enter 2. Tan. The diuell , the diuell , the diuell . 2 Twice Tangle 's ouerthrowne , twice Tangles ouerthrowne . Tang. Holde : Phoen. Now olde cheater of the Law , Tang. Pray giue me leaue to bee madde . Phoen.

Thou that hast found such sweete pleasure in the vexation of others .

Tang. May I not be mad in quiet ? Phoe. Very Marrow , very manna to thee to be in law . Tang. Very sirrop of Toades , and perseru'd Adders . Phoe. Thou that hast vext , and beggerd the whole Parrish , and made the honest Church wardens goe to Lawe with the poores money . Tang.

Heare me , doe but heare me , I pronounce a terrible , horrible cursse vpon you al — and wish you to my Atturney : see where a Praemunire comes a Dedimus potestatem , and that moste Dreadful Execution , Excommunicato Capiendo , there 's no baile to be taken , I shal rot in fifteene Iayles : make Dice of my bones , and let my Counsellors Sonne play away his Fathers money with e'm ; may my bones reuenge my quarrell ! — A Capias Cominus ? heere , heere , heere , heere : quicklye dip your Quilles in my blood , off with my skin and write fourteen lines of a side — there 's an honest conscionable fellowe , he takes but ten shillinges of a Bellowes-mender — heere 's another deales all with charitie , you shall giue him nothing , onely his wife an embrodered Petty-coate , a golde frindge for her taile , or a border for her head , ah sirrha ! you shall catch mee no more in the sprindge of your Knaueries .

Exeunt . 1

Follow , follow him still , a little thing now sets him forward .

Phoe. None can except against him , the mans mad , And priuiledgd by the Moone , if he say true : Lesse madnes t is to speake sinne , then to doe . This wretch that lou'd before , his foode , his strife , This punishment falles euen with his life . His pleasure was vexation , all his blisse The torment of another . Their heart , his health : their starued hopes his store , Who so loues Law , dies either mad or poore . Enter Fidelio . Fid. A miracle , a miracle ! Phoe. How now Fidelio ? Fid. My Lord a miracle ! Phoe. What i st ? Fid. I haue found One quiet , suffering , and vnlawyer'd man . An opposite , a very Contrarie To the olde turbulent fellowe . Phoe. Why hee 's mad . Fid.

Mad , why he is in his right wits , could he be madder then he was , if he be any way altered from what hee was , t is for the better , my Lord .

Phoe. Well , but where 's this wonder ? Fid.

T is comming my Lord : A man so truely a man , so indifferently a creature , vsing the world in his right nature but to tread vppon , one that would not bruse , the cowardly est enemy to man , the worme , that dares not show his malice till we are dead : nay my Lord , you will admire his temper ! see where he comes , I promisd your acquaintance , sir

Enter Quieto . Yon is the Gentleman I did commend for Temper . Qui. Let me embrace you simply . That 's perfectly , and more in heart then hand : Let affectation keepe at Court . Phoe. I , let it . Qu. T is told me you loue quiet Phoe. Aboue wealth . Qu. I aboue life : I haue been wilde and rash Committed many and vnnaturall crimes , Which I haue since repented . Phoe. T wa's well spent . Qui. I was mad , starke mad , nine yeares together . Phoe. I pray ! as how ? Qui. Going to law , yfaith it made me mad . Phoe. With the like frenzie not an houre since An aged man was strucke . Qui. Alasse I pittie him . Phoe.

Hee 's not worth pittying , for t wa's stil his gladnes to be at variance .

Qui. Yet a mans worth pittie , My quiet blood ha's blest me with this guift , I haue cur'd some , and if his wits be not Too deepely cut , I will assay to helpe e'm . Phoe. Sufferance does teach you pittie . Enter his Boy . Boy .

O Maister , Maister , your abhominable next neighbor came into the house , being halfe in drink , and tooke away your best Carpet .

Qui. Has hee it ? Boy .

Alasse sir :

Qui.

Let him goe , trouble him not , lock the doore quietly after him , and haue a safer care who comes in next .

Phoe.

But sir , might I aduize you , in such a cause as this , a man might bouldlye , nay with conscience goe to Law .

Qui.

Oh , i le giue him the table too first . Better indure a fist then a sharpe sword : I had rather they should pull off my cloathes then flea of my skin , and hang that on mine enemies hedge .

Phoe. Why , for such good causes was the law ordaind : Qui. True , and in it selfe t is glorious and deuine , Law is the verie Maister peece of heauen : But see yonder . Ther 's many Clowdes betweene the sunne and vs , There 's too much cloath before we see the Law : Phoe. I 'me content with that answere , be milde still , T is honour to forgiue those you could kill . Quie. There doe I keepe . Phoe. Reach me your hand , I loue you , And you shall knowe me better . Quie. T is my sute . Phoe. The night growes deepe — and — Enter two Officers . 1 Off : Come away , this way , this way . Phoe. Who be those ? stand close a little . Iars the Ring of the Doore , the Maide enters catches him . Maid .

Oh , y' are come as well as ere you came in your life , my Maister 's new gone to bed , giue me your Knightly hand , I must leade you into the blind Parlor , my mistris will be downe to you presentlye .

Takes in Phoenix , amazde . 1 Off.

I tell you our safest course will bee to arrest him when hee comes out a' th Tauerne : for then he will bee halfe drunke , and will not stand vppon his weapon .

2 Our safest course indeede , for hee will drawe . 1

That he will , though he put it vp agen , which is more of his courtesie , then of our deseruing .

Exeunt . Qui. The world is nothing but vexation , Spite and vncharitable Action . Fid. Did you see the Gentleman ? Qui. Not I . Fid. Where should he be , it may be hee 's past by , Good sir , le ts ouertake him . Exeunt Enter Phoenix with the Maide . Maid .

Here sir , now you are there sir , shee le come downe to you instantlye , I must not stay with you , my Mistris would be iealous , you must doe nothing to me , my mistris would finde it quickly .

Exit . Phoe.

S'foot whether am I led ? brought in by th hand ? I hope it can bee no harme to stay for a woman , tho indeede they were neuer more dangerous , I haue ventured heatherto and safe , and I must venture to stay now , this should be a faire Rome , but I see it not , the blinde Parlor cal's shee it ?

Enter Iewell . Iew. Where art thou , O my Knight ! Phoe : Your Knight , I am the Dukes knight . Iew. I say you 'r my knight , for I 'me sure I paid for you Phoe. Paid for you hum , — S'foot a light . — Iew.

Now out vpon the Marmoset , hast thou seru'd me so long , and offer to bring in a Candle ?

Phoe :

Faire Roome , villanous face , and worse woman , I ha learnt something by a glimpse at h Candle :

Iew.

How hapned it you came so soone , I lookt not for you these two howers : yet as the sweete chance is , you came as well as a thing coulde come , for my husband 's newly brought a bed .

Phoe. And what ha's Ioue sent him ? Iew.

Hee nere sent him any thing since I knewe him , hee 's a man of a bad nature to his wife , none but his Maides can thriue vnder him .

Phoe. Out vpon him . Iew.

I , iudge whether I haue a cause to be a Curtezan or no ? to doe as I doe , an elderly fellow as hee is , if hee were marryed to a young Virgin , hee were able to breake her heart , tho he could breake nothing else : here , here , there 's iust a hundred and fiftie , but I stole e'm so hardlye from him , t wold ee'ne haue grieud you to haue seene it .

Phoe So t would yfaith . Iew.

Therefore prethee my sweete pleasure , doe not keepe company so much , how doe you thinke I am able to maintaine you ? though I bee a Iewellers wife , Iewells are like women , they rise & fal , we must be content to loose sometimes , to gaine often , but you 'r content alwaies to loose , and neuer to gaine : what need you ride with a Footeman before you ?

Phoe : Oh that s the grace , Iewe.

The grace ? t is sufficient grace that y 'aue a Horse to ride vpon , you should thinke thus with your selfe euery time you goe to bed if my head were laide , what would become of that horse ? he would runne a bad race then as well as his Maister .

Phoe. Nay , and you giue me money to chide me : — Iewel .

No , if it were as much more , I would thinke it foule scorne to chide you , I aduise you to be thrifty , to take the time now , while you haue it , you shall sildome get such an other foole as I am , I warrant you : why there 's Mettrezza Auriola keepes her loue with halfe the cost that I am at , her friend can goe a foote like a good Husband , walke in wosted Stockings , and enquire for the Six-penny ordinarie .

Phoe. Pox on 't , and would you haue me so base ? Iew.

No , I would not haue you so base neither : but now and then , when you keep your Chamber , you might let your Footeman out for eighteen pence a day , a great releefe at yeares end I can tell you .

Ph. The age must needs be foule when vice reformes it . Iew. Nay , I 'ue a greater quarrell to you yet . Phoe. Yfaith , what i st ? Iewe.

You made me beleeue at first the Prince had you in great estimation , and would not offer to Trauaile without you , nay , that he could not trauaile without your Direction and intelligence .

Phoe.

I 'me sorrie I saide so yfaith , but sure I was ouerflowen when I spoke it , I could nere ha saide it else .

Iew.

Nay more , you swore to me , that you were the first that taught him to ride a greate horse , and tread the Ring with agilitie .

Phoe.

By my troth I must needes confesse I swore a great lye in that , & I was a villain to doe it , for I could nere ride greate horse in my life .

Iewl.

Why loe , who would loue you now but a Cittizens wife ? so inconstant , so for sworne : you say women are false Creatures , but take away men , and thei 'd bee honester then you — Nay last of all , which offends me moste of all , you tolde me you covld countenance me at Court , and you knowe wee esteeme a friend there , more worth then a Husband heere .

Phoe. What I spake of that . Lady , i le maintaine . Iew: You maintaine ? you seene it court ? Phoe. Why by this Diamond — Iew.

Oh take heede , you cannot haue that , t is alwaies in the eye of my husband .

Phoe.

I protest I will not keepe it , but onely vse it for this vertue , as a token to fetch you , & approue my power , where you shall not onely ye bee receiued , but made knowne to the best and chiefest .

Iewel . Oh are you true ? Phoe. Let me loose my Reuenewe else . Iewl.

That 's your word indeede , and vppon that condition take it this kisse and my loue for euer .

Phoe. Ynough . Iew. Giue me thy hand , i le leade thee foorth . Phoe. I 'me sicke of al professions , my thoughts burne : He trauailes best , that knowes when to returne . Exeunt . Enter Knight , two Officers after him . Kni.

Adue , farwell , to bed you , I to my sweete Cittybird , my precious Reuennew , the verie thought of a hundred & fiftie Angels , encreases Oyle and Spirit , ho :

1. Off. I arrest you sir . Knig. Oh! 1 Off.

You haue made vs wayte a goodly time for you , haue you not thinke you ? you are in your Rowses & Mulwines a poxe on you : and haue no care of poore Officers staying for you .

Kni.

I drunk but one health I protest , but I could void it now : at whose sute I pra'y ?

1 Off. At the sute of him that makes suits , your Taylor , Kni. Why , he made me the last , this , this that I weare 1. Off.

Argo , nay , we haue bene Schollars I can tell you , wee could not haue beene knaues so soone else , for as in that notable Cittie cald London , stand two most famous Vniuersities , Poultrie and Woodstreet , where some are of twentie yeares standing , and haue tooke all their degrees from the Maisters side , downe to the Mistris side , the Hole , so in like manner —

Knig.

Come , come , come , I had quite forgot the hundred and fiftie Angells .

2 Off. S'lid where be they ? Knight . I le bring you to the sight of e'm presently . 1 Off.

A notable Lad , and worthy to be arrested : wee le haue but ten for wayting , and then thou shalt chuse whether thou wilt runne away from vs , or wee from thee .

Knight . A match at running , come , come , followe me . 2 Off. Nay , feare not that . Knig. Peace , you may happen to see toyes , but doe not see e'm . 1 Off. Pah . Knig. That s the Doore . 1 Off. This ? — knockes . Knight . Sfoote Officer you haue spoilde all already ? 1 Off. Why ? Knig.

Why ? you shall see , you should haue but whirld the ring once about , and there 's a Maid seruant brought vp to vnderstand it .

Maide . Whos 's at doore ? Knig. Al s well againe : phist , t is I , t is I . Maid . You , what are you ? Kni. Puh , where 's thy mistris ? Maid . What of her ? Knigh. Tell her One , she knowes who , her Pleasure 's heere , say . Maid .

Her Pleasure ? my mistris scornes to be without her pleasure at this time of night : is shee so voide of friendes thinke you ? take that for thinking so : a Boxe

1 Off.

The hundred and fifty Angells are lockt vp in a Boxe , we shall not see e'm tonight .

Knig.

Howe 's this ? am I vsde like a hundred pound Gentleman ? Do's my Reuennew forsake me ? Dam me if euer I bee her pleasure agen . — Well I must to prison .

1. Off.

Goe prepare his roome , there 's no remedie , i le bring him along , hee 's tame enough now .

Kni. Dare my Tailor presume to vse me in this sort ? He steales and I must lie in prison for 't . 1. Off. Come , come away sir . Enter a Gentleman with a Drawer . Gent. Art sure thou sawest him arested Drawer ? Draw . If mine eyes be sober . Gent.

And that 's a question , Masse here he goes , hee shall not goe to prison , I haue a tricke shall baile him — away .

1. Off. Oh! Blinds the officer . Gent. Gesse , gesse , who am I ? who am I ? 1. Off.

Who the Diuell are you ? let goe , — a Poxe on you , who are you ? I haue lost my prisoner .

Gentle .

Prisoner : I 'ue mistooke , I crie you heartily mercie , I haue done you infinite iniurie , a my troth I tooke you to be an honest man .

1. Off.

Where were your eyes ? could you not see I was an Officer , stop , stop , stop , stop .

Gent. Hah , hah , hah , ha . Exeunt . Enter Proditor and Phoenix . Prod. Now Phoenix . Phoen. Now my Lord . Prod. Let princely blood Nourish our hopes , we being confusion now . Phoen. A terrible suddaine blow . Prod. I : what day is this hangs ouer vs ? Phoen. by th Masse Monday . Prod. As I could wish my purpose will thriue best . T wa's first my birthday , now my fortunes daie , I see whome fate will raise needes neuer pray . Phoe. Neuer . Prod. How is the ayre ? Phoe. Oh full of trouble . Prod: Do's not the skie looke pittiously blacke Phoe. As if t were hung with Rich mens Consciences . Prod. Ah , Stucke not a Comet like a Carbuckle Vpon the dreadfull browe of Twelue last night ? Phoe. Twelue , no t wa's about one . Prod. About one most proper , for that s the Duke . Phoe. Well shifted from thy selfe . Prod. I could haue wisht it betweene one and two His sonne and him . Phoe. I le giue you comfort then . Prod, Prethee . Phoe. There was a villanous Rauen seene last night , Ouer the presence chamber in hard Iustle With a yong Eglet . Prod. A Rauen ! that was I , what did the Rauen ? Phoe. Mary my Lord the Rauen — to say truth , I left the combat doubtfull . Prod. So t is still , For all is doubt , till the deed crowne the will , Now blesse thy loynes with Freedome , wealth and honour , Think all thy seede young Lords , and by this Acte . Make a foote-cloathd posteritie : now imagine Thou seest thy Daughters with their traines borne vp , Whome else despised want , may cursse to whoredome , And publike shames , which our state neuer threate , Shee 's neuer lew'd , that is accounted great . Phoe. I le alter that Court-Axiom , thus renewd , Shee 's neuer great , that is accounted lewde . Prod. Stand close , the presence fils , heere , heere the place And at his rizing , let his fall be base , Beneath thy foote . Phoe. How for his Guard my Lord ? Prod. My golde and feare keepes with the chiefe of them Phoe. That 's rarely well . Prod.

Bould heedlesse slaue , that dares attempt a deede which shall in peeces rend him my Lords both .

Enter Lussurioso , and Infesto two Lords . Lus. The happinesse of the day . Phoe. Time my returning , Treasons haue still the worst , yet still are spurning . Prod. The Duke ! Phoe. I nere was gladder to beholde him . Prod. All . Long liue your Grace . Duke . I do not like that straine , You know my age affoords not to liue long . Prod. Spoke truer then you thinke for . Duke . Bestow that wish vpon the Prince our Sonne . Phoe , Nay , hee 's not to liue long neither . Prod. Him as the wealthie Treasure of our hopes , You as posession of our present Comfort , Both in one heart , we reuerence in one . Phoe. Oh Treason of a good complexion . Horn winded . Enter Fidelio . Duke . How now , what fresher newes fils the Courts eare ? Prod, Fidelio ! Fid. Glad Tydings to your Grace , The prince is safe return'd , and in your Court . Duke . Our ioy breakes at our eyes , the Prince is come ! Prod. Soule quicking newes — pale vengeance to my blood . Fid. By me presenting to your serious view , A briefe of all his Trauailes . Du. T is most welcome . It shall be Deere and pretious to our Eye . Prod. Hee Reades , i 'me glad her reades . Now take thy opportunitie , leaue that place . Phoe. At hys first rising let his fall be base . Prod. That must be altered now . Phoe. Which ? his rising or his fall ? rod . Art thou dull now ? Thou hear'st the Prince is come . Duke . What 's heere my Lord ? Prod. My Lord ? Duke .

I have got such a large portion of knowledge , most worthy father , by the benefit of my Trauaile ,

Prod. And so he has no doubt my Lord . Duke . That I am bolde now to warne you of Lord

Proditors insolent Treason , who has irreligiouslye seduc'd a fellow , and closely conuaide him ee'n in the presence-chaire to murder you :

Phoen. Oh guiltie , guiltie . Duke . What was that fell ? what s hee ? Phoen. I am the man . Prod. O slaue ! Phoe. I haue no power to strike , Prod. I 'me gone , i 'me gone . Duke . Let me admire heauen's wisdome in my Sonne . Phoe. I confesse it , he hyred me — Prod. This is slaue , T is forg'd against mine honour and my life , For in what part of reason can 't appeare , The Prince being Trauaild should know Treasons heere Plaine counterfet — Duke . Doost thou make false our Sonne ? Prod. I know the prince will not affirme it . Fid. He can and will my Lord . Phoe. Most iust , he may : Duke . A guard . Luss. We cannot but in loyall zeale our selues , Lay hands on such a Villaine . — Duke . Stay you , I finde you heere too . Lus. Vs my Lord ? Duke .

Against Lussurioso and Infesto , who not onelye moste ryotouslye consume their houses in vicious gaming , morgaging their liuings to the Merchant , wherby he with his heires enter vppon their lands , from whence this abuse comes , that in short time the Sonne of the Marchant has more Lordships then the Sonne of the Nobleman ( which else was neuer borne to inheritance ) but that which is more impious , they most adulterously traine out young Ladyes to Mid-night banquets , to the vtter defamation of their owne honors , & ridiculous abuse of their Husbands .

Lus. How could the Prince heare that ? Phoe. Most true my Lord . My Conscience is a witnesse gainst it selfe , For to that execution of chast honour , I was both hyr'd and led . Lus. I hope the Prince out of his plentious wisdome Will not giue wrong to vs : as for this fellowe Hee 's poore , and cares not to be desperate . Enter Iustice Falso . Fal. Iustice my Lord , I haue my Neece stolne from me Sh 'as left her Dowrie with me , but shee 's gone , I de rather haue had her loue then her money I , This , this , is one of them , Iustice my Lord : I know him by his face , this is the Theefe . Prod. Your grace may now in milder sence perceiue The wrong done to vs by this impudent wretch , Who ha's his hand fixt at the throate of lawe , And therefore durst be desperate of his life , Duk. Peace , you 'r too foule , your crime is in excesse : One spot of him , makes not your Vlcers lesse . Prod. Oh! Duk Did your Violence force away his Neece ? Phoe. No my good Lord ; I le stil confesse what s truth . I did remoue her from her many wrongs , Which shee was pleasd to leaue , they were so vilde . Duke . What are you nam'd ? Fals. Falso my Lord , Iustice Falso , i 'me knowne by that name . Du. Falso , you came fitly , You are the verie next that followes here . Fals. I hope so my Lord , my name is in all the Records I can assure your good grace . Du. Against Iustice Falso . Fals. Ah . Du.

Who hauing had the honest charge of his Neece committed to his trust , by the last will and Testament of her deceased father , and with her all the power of his wealth , not onely against faith and conscience detaines her Dowrie , but against Nature and humanity assaies to abuse her body .

Neece . I 'me present to affirme it my lou'd Lord . Fals. How ? what make I heere ? Neece . Eyther I must agree . To loathed lust , or despisde beggery . Du. Are you the plaintiue here ? Fals. I my good Lord , For fault of a better . Du.

Sildome comes a worse — and moreouer not containde in this vice onelye , which is odious to much , but against the sacred vse of Iustice , maintaines three threeues to his men .

Fals. Cuds me ! Du.

Who onely take Pursses in their Maisters libertie , where if any one chance to be taken , he appeares before him in a false Beard , and owne of his owne fellows takes his examination .

Fals. By my troth as true as can be , but hee shall not knowe on 't . Du.

And in the end will execute Iustice so cruellye vpon him , that hee will not trust him in a prison , but commit him to his fellowes chamber .

Fals.

Can a man doe nothing i' the Countrey but t is told at Court ? there 's some busie informing knaue abroad , a my life .

Phoe. That this is true , and these , and more my Lord . ( Be it vnder pardon spoken for mine owne ) Hee the disease of Iustice , these of honour , And This of Loyaltie and Reuerence : The vnswept venome of the Pallace , Prod. Slaue ! Phoen. Behold the Prince to approoue it . Prod. Oh , where ? Phoe. Your Eyes keep with your Actions , both looke wrong . Prod. An infernall to my spirit . All . My Lord the Prince : Prod. Tread me to dust , thou in whom wonder keepes , Behold the Serpent on his bellie creepes . Phoen. Ranckle not my foote , away . Treason , we laugh at thy vain-labouring strings , Aboue the foote thou hast no power ore Kings Duke . I cannot with sufficient ioy receiue thee , And yet my ioye 's too much , Phoen. My royall Father , To whose vnnaturall murther I was hir'd , I thought it a more naturall course of trauaile , And answering future expectation , To leaue farre Countryes , and enquire mine owne , Duk. To thee let Reuerence all her powers engage , That art in youth a myracle to age . State is but blindness , ethou hadst piercing Art , We onely saw the knee ; but thou the heart . To thee then power and Dukedome we resigne , , Hee 's fit to raign , whose knowledge can refine : Phoen. Forbid it my obedience . Duke . Our word 's not vaine , I know thee wise can'st both obey and raigne , The rest of life we dedicate to heauen . All . A happy and safe raigne to our new Duke . Phoe. Without your praiers safer , & happier : Fidelio . Fid. My royall Lord . Phoe. Here take this Diamond : You know the vertue on 't , it can fetch vice : Madam Castiza : Fid: She attends my Lord . Phoen. Place a guard neare vs . Know you you fellow Ladie ? Lad. My honours euill . Prod. Torment agen ? Phoen. So vgly are thy crimes , Thine eye cannot endure 'em . And that thy face may stand perpetually Turn'd so from ours , and thy abhorred selfe , Neither to threaten wracke of state or credite , An euerlasting banishment ceaze on thee . Prod. Oh Fiend ! Phoen. Thy life is such it is too bad to end . Prod. May thy Rule , life , and all that 's in thee glad , Haue as short time — as thy begetting had . Exit . Phoen.

Away , thy curse is idle , the rest are vnder reformation , and therefore vnder pardon .

All .

Our duties shall turne edge vpon our crimes .

Fals.

S'lid I was afraid of nothing , but that for my theeuerie , and bawderie I should haue beene turnd to an Inkeeper : my daughter , I am asham'd her worship should see mee .

Enter Iewell : with Fidelio : Iew.

Who would not loue a friend at Court ? what fine Galleries and roomes am I brought through ? I had thoght my knight durst not haue shown his face here , I .

Phoe.

Now mother of pride , and daughter of lust , which is your friend now ?

Iew. Ah me ! Phoe.

I 'me sure you are not so vnprouided to be without a friend here , you 'le pay enough for him first .

Iew. This is the worst roome that euer I came in . Phoen. I am your seruant Mistris , know you not me ! Iew.

Your worship is to great for me to know : I 'me but a small timbred-woman when I 'me out of my apparell , and dare not venture vpon greatnes .

Phoen. Doe you denie me then ? know you this purse ? Iew.

That purse ? O death has the Knight seru'd me so ? giuen away my Fauours ?

Phoe. Stand forth — thou one of those , for whose close lusts the plague neuer leaues the Citie . Thou worse then common : priuate , subtill harlot , That dost deceiue Three with one faigned lip , Thy husband , the worlds eye , and the lawes whip . Thy zeale is hot , for t is to lust and frawde , And dost not dread to make thy booke thy Bawde , Thou 'rt cursse enough to husbands il-got gaines , For whom the Court reiects , his gold maintaines : How deere and rare was Freedome wont to be , Now few but are by their wiues copies free , And brought to such a head that now we see , Citie and Suburbs weare one liuerie . Iew.

T is long of those , an 't like your grace , that come in vpon vs , & wil neuer leaue marrying of our widdows till they make 'em all as free as their first husbands .

Phoen. I perceiue you can shift a point well . Iew.

Let me haue pardon I beseech your grace , and I le peach 'em all , all the close women that are , and vpon my knowledge there 's aboue fiue thousand within the walls and the liberties .

Phoen.

A band ? they shall be sent against the Turke , Infidels against Infidels .

Iew.

I will hereafter liue so modestly , I will not lie with mine owne husband , nor come neere a man in the way of honestie .

Fal. I le be her warrant my Lord . Phoen. You are deceiu'd , you thinke y' are stil a Iustice . Fal.

S'foot , worse then I was before I kneeld , I am no Iustice now , I know I shall be some Inne-keeper at last .

Iew. My father ! t is mine owne father . Phoen. I should haue wondred else , lust being so like . Neece

Her birth was kin to mine , she may proue modest , for my sake I beseech you pardon her .

Phoen. For thy sake I le doe more , Fidelio hand her , My fauours on you both , next all that wealth Which was committed to that Periur'ds trust . Fal. I 'me a begger now , worse then an Inne-keeper . Enter Tangle madde . Tang.

Your Mittimus shall not serue , I le set my selfe free with a Deliberandum , with a Deliberandum , marke you :

Duke . What 's he ? a guard ! Phoe. Vnder your sufferance , worthy Father , His harme is to himselfe , One that ha's lou'd vexation so much , He cannot now be rid on 't , Has beene so long in suits that hee 's Law-mad . Tang.

A iudgement , I craue a iudgement , yea ! Nunc pro tunc , Corruptione alicuius , I peept me a Rauen in the face , and I thought it had beene my Solister : oh the pens pricke me .

Enter Quieto . Phoen. And here comes he ( wonder for temperance : ) Will take the cure vpon him . Quie. A blessing to this faire assembly . Tang.

Away , I le haue none on t , giue me an Audita querela , or a Testificandum , or a dispatch in twelue Tearms , there 's a blessing , there 's a blessing .

Phoen. You see the vnbounded rage of his disease , Quie.

T is the foule fiend my Lord ha's got within him the rest are faire to this , this breeds in Inke ,

And to that colour turnes the blood possest , For instance , now your grace shall see him drest . Tan.

Ah hah I reioice then hee 's puzled , & muzled too I st come to a Soepe corpus ?

Quie. Ah , good sir , this is for want of patience . Tang. That 's a foole . She neuer saw the Dogs and the Beares fight , A Countrey thing . Quie. This is for lacke of grace , Tan. I 'ue other businesse , not so much idle time . Quie. You neuer say your prayers . Tan. I 'me , aduizde by my learned counsel , Quie. The power of my charme come o're thee , Place by degrees thy wits before thee , With silk en patience here I binde thee , Not to moue till I vnwinde thee . Tan. Yea ! is my cause so muddy ? do I sticke , do I sticke ( fast ? Aduocate heer 's my hand , pull , art made of flint ? Wilt not helpe out ? — alas there 's nothing in 't . Phoen.

Oh doe you sluce the Veyne now ?

Quie. Yes my honoured Lord . Phoen. Pray let me see the issue . Quie. I therefore seeke to keepe it , — now burst out Thou filthy streame of trouble , spite and doubt . Tan.

Oh an extent , a Proclamation , a Summons , a Recognisance , a Tachment . and Iniunction , a Writ , a Seysure , a Writ of praeisement , an Absolution , a Quietus est .

Qui. You 'r quieter I hope by so much Dreggs . Beholde my Lord : Phoen. This , why it out frownes Inke : Quie.

T is the diseases Nature , the Fiends drinke .

Tan.

Oh sicke , sick , Signior Ply-fee , sicke : lend me thy Nightcap , oh !

Quie. The Balsum of a temperate braine , I poure into this thirstie veine , And with this blessed oyle of quiet , Which is so cheape , that few men buy it , Thy stormie Temples I allay , Thou shalt giue vp the Diuell and pray , Forsake his works , they 're foule and black , And keepe thee bare in pursse and backe . No more shalt thou in paper quarrell , To dresse vp Apes in good apparell . He throwes his stocke , and all his flocke , Into a swallowing gulfe , That sendes his Goose vnto his Foxe , His Lambe vnto his Wolfe . Keepe thy encrease , And liue at peace , For war 's not equall to this battaile , That eates but men this men and cattaile , Therefore no more this combate choose : Where he that wins , do's alwayes loose , And those that gaine all , with this cursse receiue it , From fooles they get it , to their sonnes they leaue it . Tan. Haile sacred patience , I begin to feele

I haue a Conscience now , Truth in my words , Compassion in my hart , & aboue al , in my blood peaces musick ,

Vse me how you can , You shall find me an honest-quiet man . Oh , pardon , that I dare behold that face , " Now I 'ue least law , I hope haue most grace , Phoen. We both admire the work-man and his peece : Thus when all hearts are tunde to Honors strings , There is no musicke to the Quire of Kings . FINIS .