The Roaring Girl, or Moll Cutpurse

The Roaring Girle . Act. 1. Scoe. 1. Enter Mary Fitz-Allard disguised like a sempster with a case for bands , and Neatfoot a seruingman with her , with a napkin on his shoulder , and a trencher in his hand as from table . Neatfoote .

THe yong gentleman ( our young maister ) Sir Alexanders sonne , is it into his eares ( sweet Damsell ) ( embleme of fragility ) you desire to haue a message transported , or to be transcendent .

Mary

A priuate word or two Sir , nothing else .

Neat.

You shall fructifie in that which you come for : your pleasure shall be satisfied to your full contentation : I will ( fairest tree of generation ) watch when our young maister is erected , ( that is to say vp ) and deliuer him to this your most white hand .

Mary Thankes sir . Neat.

And withall certifie him , that I haue culled out for him ( now his belly is replenished ) a daintier bit or modicome then any lay vpon his trencher at dinner — hath he notion of your name , I beseech your chastitie .

Mary One Sir , of whom he be spake falling bands . Neat.

Falling bands , it shall so be giuen him , — — if you please to venture your modesty in the hall , amongst a curlepated company of rude seruingmen , and take such as they can set before you , you shall be most seriously , and ingeniously welcome .

Mary I haue dyed indeed already sir . Neat.

— — Or will you vouchsafe to kisse the lip of a cup of rich Orleans in the buttry amongst our waiting women .

Mary Not now in truth sir . Neat.

Our yong Maister shall then haue a feeling of your being here presently it shall so be giuen him .

Exit Neatfoote , Mary I humbly thanke you sir , but that my bosome Is full of bitter sorrowes , I could smile , To see this formall Ape play Antick tricks : But in my breast a poysoned arrow stickes , And smiles cannot become me , Loue wouen sleightly ( Such as thy false heart makes ) weares out as lightly , But loue being truely bred i th the soule ( like mine ) Bleeds euen to death , at the least wound it takes , The more we quench this , the lesse it slakes : Oh me ! Enter Sebastian Wengraue with Neatfoote . Seb. A Sempster speake with me , saist thou . Neat.

Yes sir , she 's there , viua voce , to deliuer her auricular confession .

Seb. With me sweet heart . What i st ? Mary I haue brought home your bands sir . Seb. Bands : Neatfoote . Neat. Sir . Seb. Prithee look in , for all the Gentlemen are vpon rising . Neat. Yes sir , a most methodicall attendance shall be giuen . Seb.

And dost heare , if my father call for me , say I am busy with a Sempster .

Neat.

Yes sir , hee shall know it that you are busied with a needle woman .

Seb. In 's eare good Neat-foote , Neat. It shall be so giuen him . Exit Neat-foote . Seb.

Bands , y' are mistaken sweete heart , I bespake none , when , where , I prithee , what bands , let me see them .

Mary Yes sir , a bond fast sealed , with solemne oathes , Subscribed vnto ( as I thought ) with your soule : Deliuered as your deed in sight of heauen , Is this bond canceld , haue you forgot me . Seb. Ha! life of my life : Sir Guy Fitz-Allards daughter , What has transform'd my loue to this strange shape ? Stay : make all sure , — so : now speake and be briefe , Because the wolfe 's at dore that lyes in waite , To prey vpon vs both albeit mine eyes Are blest by thine , yet this so strange disguise Holds me with feare and wonder . Mary Mines a loathed sight , Why from it are you banisht else so long . Seb. I must cut short my speech , in broken language , Thus much sweete Moll , I must thy company shun , I court another Moll , my thoughts must run , As a horse runs , that s blind , round in a Mill , Out euery step , yet keeping one path still . Mary Vmh : must you shun my company , in one knot Haue both our hands by t'h hands of heauen bene tyed , Now to be broke , I thought me once your Bride : Our fathers did agree on the time when , And must another bed-fellow fill my roome . Seb. Sweete maid , le ts loose no time , t is in heauens booke Set downe , that I must haue thee : an oath we tooke , To keep our vowes , but when the knight your father Was from mine parted , stormes began to sit Vpon my couetous fathers brow : which fell From them on me , he reckond vp what gold This marriage would draw from him , at which he swore , To loose so much bloud , could not grieue him more . He then diswades me from thee , cal'd thee not faire , And askt what is shee , but a beggars heire ? He scorn'd thy dowry of ( 5000 ) Markes . If such a summe of mony could be found , And I would match with that , hee 'd not vndoe it , Prouided his bags might adde nothing to it , But vow'd , if I tooke thee , nay more , did sweare it , Saue birth from him I nothing should inherit . Mary What followes then , my ship-wracke . Seb. Dearest no : Tho wildly in a laborinth I go , My end is to meete thee : with a side winde Must I now saile , else I no hauen can finde But both must sinke for euer . There 's a wench Cal'd Mol , mad Mol , or merry Moll , a creature So strange in quality , a whole citty takes Note of her name and person , all that affection I owe to thee , on her in counterfet passion , I spend to mad my father : he beleeues I doate vpon this Roaring Girle , and grieues As it becomes a father for a sonne , That could be so bewitcht : yet i le go on This croked way , sigh still for her , faine dreames , In which i le talke onely of her , these streames Shall , I hope , force my father to consent That heere I anchor rather then be rent Vpon a rocke so dangerous , Art thou pleas'd , Because thou seest we are way-laid , that I take A path that s safe , tho it be farre about , Mary My prayers with heauen guide thee , Seb. Then I will on , My father is at hand , kisse and begon ; Howres shall be watcht for meetings ; I must now As men for feare , to a strange I doll bow . Mary Farewell . Seb. I le guide thee forth , when next we meete , A story of Moll shall make our mirth more sweet . Exeunt Enter Sir Alexander Wengraue , Sir Dauy Dapper , Sir Adam Appleton , Goshake , Laxton , and Gentlemen . Omnes Thanks good Sir Alexander for our bounteous cheere : Alex. Fy , fy , in giuing thankes you pay to deare . S. Dap. When bounty spreades the table , faith t' were sinne , ( at going of ) if thankes should not step in . Alex. No more of thankes , no more , I mary Sir , Th' inner roome was too close , how do you like This Parlour Gentlmen ? Omnes Oh passing well . Adam What a sweet breath the aire casts heere , so coole , Gosh. I like the prospect best . Lax. See how t is furnisht . S. Dap. A very faire sweete roome . Alex. Sir Dauy Dapper , The furniture that doth adorne this roome , Cost many a faire gray groat ere it came here , But good things are most cheape , when th' are most deere , Nay when you looke into my galleries , How brauely they are trim'd vp , you all shall sweare Y are highly pleasd to see what s set downe there : Stories of men and women ( mixt together Faire ones with foule , like sun-shine in wet wether ) Within one square a thousand heads are laid So close , that all of heads , the roome seeemes made , As many faces there ( fill'd with blith lookes ) Shew like the promising titles of new bookes , ( Writ merily ) the Readers being their owne eyes , Which seeme to moue and to giue plaudities , And here and there ( whilst with obsequious eares , Throng'd heapes do listen ) a cut purse thrusts and leeres With haukes eyes for his prey : I need not shew him , By a hanging villanous looke , your selues may know him , The face is drawne so rarely , Then sir below , The very flowre ( as t were ) waues to and fro , And like a floating Iland , seemes to moue , Vpon a sea bound in with shores aboue , Enter Sebastian and M. Greene-wit . Omnes . These sights are excellent . Alex. I 'le shew you all , Since we are met , make our parting Comicall . Seb. This gentleman ( my friend ) will take his leaue Sir . Alex. Ha , take his leaue ( Sebastian ) who ? Seb. This gentleman . Alex. Your loue sir , has already giuen me some time , And if you please to trust my age with more , It shall pay double interest : Good sir stay . Green . I haue beene too bold . Alex. Not so sir . A merry day Mongst friends being spent , is better then gold sau'd . Some wine , some wine . Where be these knaues I keepe . Enter three or foure Seruingmen , and Neatfoote . Neat. At your worshipfull elbow , sir . Alex. You are kissing my maids , drinking , or fast asleep . Neat. Your worship has giuen it vs right . Alex. You varlets stirre , Chaires , stooles and cushions : pre'thee sir Dauy Dapper , Make that chaire thine . Sir Dap. T is but an easie gift , And yet I thanke you for it sir , I 'le take it . Alex. A chaire for old sir Adam Appleton . Neat. A backe friend to your worship . Adam . Mary good Neatfoot , I thanke thee for it : backe friends sometimes are good . Alex. Pray make that stoole your pearch , good M. Goshawke . Gosh. I stoope to your lure sir . Alex. Sonne Sebastian , Take Maister Greenewit to you . Seb. Sit deere friend . Alex. Nay maister Laxton — furnish maister Laxton With what he wants ( a stone ) a stoole I would say , a stoole . Laxton . I had rather stand sir . Exeunt seruants . Alex. I know you had ( good M. Laxton . ) So , so — Now here s a messe of friends , and ( gentlemen ) Because times glasse shall not be running long , I 'le quicken it with a pretty tale . Sir Dap. Good tales do well , In these bad dayes , where vice does so excell . Adam . Begin sir Alexander . Alex. Last day I met An aged man vpon whose head was scor'd , A debt of iust so many yeares as these , Which I owe to my graue , the man you all know . Omnes . His name I pray you sir . Alex. Nay you shall pardon me , But when he saw me ( with a sigh that brake , Or seem'd to breake his heart-strings ) thus he spake : Oh my good knight , saies he , ( and then his eies Were richer euen by that which made them poore , They had spent so many teares they had no more . ) Oh sir ( saies he ) you know it , for you ha seene Blessings to raine vpon mine house and me : Fortune ( who slaues men ) was my slaue : her wheele Hath spun me golden threads , for I thanke heauen , I nere had but one cause to curse my starres , I ask't him then , what that one cause might be . Omnes . So Sir . Alex. He paus'd , and as we often see , A sea so much becalm'd , there can be found No wrinckle on his brow , his waues being drownd In their owne rage : but when th' imperious wind , Vse strange inuisible tyranny to shake Both heauens and earths foundation at their noyse : The seas swelling with wrath to part that fray Rise vp , and are more wild , more mad , then they . Euen so this good old man was by my question Stir'd vp to roughnesse , you might see his gall Flow euen in 's eies : then grew he fantasticall . Sir Dap. Fantasticall , ha , ha . Alex. Yes , and talke odly . Adam . Pray sir proceed , How did this old man end ? Alex. Mary sir thus . He left his wild fit to read ore his cards , Yet then ( though age cast snow on all his haires ) He ioy'd because ( saies he ) the God of gold Has beene to me no niggard : that disease ( Of which all old men sicken ) Auarice Neuer infected me . Lax. He meanes not himselfe i 'me sure . Alex. For like a lamp , Fed with continuall oyle , I spend and throw My light to all that need it , yet haue still Enough to serue my selfe , oh but ( quoth he ) Tho heauens-dew fall , thus on this aged tree , I haue a sonne that s like a wedge doth cleaue , My very heart roote , S , Dap. Had he such a sonne , Seb, Now I do smell a fox strongly . Alex. Let s see : no Maister Greene-wit is not yet So mellow in yeares as he ; but as like Sebastian , Iust like my sonne Sebastian , — such another . Seb.

How finely like a fencer my father fetches his by-blows to hit me , but if I beate you not at your owne weapon of subtilty .

Alex. This sonne ( saith he ) that should be The columne and maine arch vnto my house , The crutch vnto my age , becomes a whirlewind Shaking the firme foundation , Adam T is some prodigall . Seba. Well shot old Adam Bell . Alex. No citty monster neither , no prodigall , But sparing , wary , ciuill , and ( tho wiuelesse ) An excellent husband , and such a traueller , He has more tongues in his head then some haue teeth , S. Dap. I haue but two in myne Gosh. So sparing and so wary , What then could vex his father so . Alex. Oh a woman . Seb. A flesh fly , that can vex any man . Alex. A scuruy woman , On whom the passionate old man swore he doated : A creature ( saith he ) nature hath brought forth To mocke the sex of woman . — It is a thing One knowes not how to name , her birth began Ere she was all made . T is woman more then man , Man more then woman , and ( which to none can hap ) The Sunne giues her two shadowes to one shape , Nay more , let this strange thing , walke , stand or sit , No blazing starre drawes more eyes after it . S. Dap. A Monster , t is some Monster . Alex. Shee 's a varlet . Seb. Now is my cue to bristle . Alex. A naughty packe . Seb. T is false . Alex. Ha boy . Seb. T is false . Alex. What s false , I say shee 's nought . Seb. I say that tongue That dares speake so ( but yours ) stickes in the throate Of a ranke villaine , set your selfe aside . — Alex. So sir what then . Seb. Any here else had lyed . I thinke I shall fit you — aside . Alex. Lye . Seb. Yes . Sir Dap. Doth this concerne him . Alex. Ah sirra boy . Is your bloud heated : boyles it : are you stung , I le pierce you deeper yet : oh my deere friends , I am that wretched father , this that sonne , That sees his ruine , yet headlong on doth run . Adam . Will you loue such a poyson . S. Dap. Fye , fye . Seb. Y' are all mad . Alex. Th' art sicke at heart , yet feelst it not : of all these , What Gentleman ( but thou ) knowing his disease Mortall , would shun the cure : oh Maister Greenewit , Would you to such an Idoll bow . Greene . . Not I sir . Alex. Heer 's Maister Laxton , has he mind to a woman As thou hast . Lax. No not I sir . Alex. Sir I know it . Lax. There good parts are so rare , there bad so common , I will haue nought to do with any woman . Sir Dap. T is well done Maister Laxton . Alex. Oh thou cruell boy , Thou wouldst with lust an old mans life destroy , Because thou seest I 'me halfe way in my graue , Thou shouelst dust vpon me : wod thou mightest haue Thy wish , most wicked , most vnnaturall . Dap. Why sir , t is thought , sir Guy Fitz-Allards daughter Shall wed your sonne Sebastian . Alex. Sir Dauy Dapper . I haue vpon my knees , wood this fond boy , To take that vertuous maiden . Seb. Harke you a word sir . You on your knees haue curst that vertuous maiden , And me for louing her , yet do you now Thus baffle me to my face : were not your knees In such intreates , giue me Fitz-Allards daughter . Alex. I le giue thee rats-bane rather . Seb. Well then you know What dish I meane to feed vpon . Alex. Harke Gentlemen , He sweares to haue this cut-purse drab , to spite my gall . Omnes . Maister Sebastian . Seb. I am deafe to you all . I me so bewitcht , so bound to my desires , Teares , prayers , threats , nothing can quench out those fires That burne within me . Exit Sebastian . Alex. Her bloud shall quench it then , Loose him not , oh diswade him Gentlemen . Sir Dap. He shall be weand I warrant you . Alex. Before his eyes Lay downe his shame , my griefe , his miseries . Omnes . No more , no more , away . Exeunt all but sir Alexander . Alex. I wash a Negro , Loosing both paines and cost : but take thy flight , I le be most neere thee , when I 'me least in sight . Wilde Bucke i le hunt thee breathlesse , thou shalt run on , But I will turne thee when I 'me not thought vpon . Enter Ralph Trapdore : Now sirra what are you , leaue your Apes trickes and speake . Trap. A letter from my Captaine to your Worship . Alex.

Oh , oh , now I remember t is to preferre thee into my seruice .

Trap.

To be a shifter vnder your Worships nose of a clean trencher , when ther 's a good bit vpon 't .

Alex. Troth honest fellow — humh — ha — let me see , This knaue shall be the axe to hew that downe At which I stumble , has a face that promiseth Much of a villaine , I will grind his wit , And if the edge proue fine make vse of it . Come hither sirra , canst thou be secret , ha . Trap.

As two crafty Atturneys plotting the vndoing of their clyents .

Alex. Didst neuer , as thou hast walkt about this towne Heare of a wench cal'd Moll , mad merry Moll . Trap. Moll cutpurse sir . Alex. The same , dost thou know her then , Trap.

Aswell as I know t will raine vpon Simon and Iudes day next , I will sift all the tauerns i th citty , and drinke halfe pots with all the Watermen at h bankside , but if you will sir I le find her out .

Alex. That task is easy , do ot then , hold thy hand vp . What s this , i st burnt ? Trap. No sir no , a little sindgd with making fire workes . Alex. Ther 's mony , spend it , that being spent fetch more . Trap.

Oh sir that all the poore souldiers in England had such a leader . For fetching no water Spaniell is like me .

Alex. This wench we speake of , straies so from her kind Nature repents she made her . T is a Mermaid Has told my sonne to shipwracke . Trap. I le cut her combe for you . Alex. I le tell out gold for thee then : hunt her forth , Cast out a line hung full of siluer hookes To catch her to thy company : deepe spendings May draw her that s most chast to a mans bosome . Trap.

The gingling of Golden bels , and a good foole with a hobbyhorse , wil draw all the whoores i th towne to dance in a morris ,

Alex. Or rather , for that s best , ( they say sometimes Shee goes in breeches ) follow her as her man . Trap. And when her breeches are off , shee shall follow me . Alex. Beate all thy braines to serue her . Trap.

Zounds sir , as country wenches beate creame , till butter comes .

Alex. Play thou the suttle spider , weaue fine nets To insnare her very life . Trap. Her life . Alex. Yes sucke Her heart-bloud if thou canst , twist thou but cords To catch her , I le finde law to hang her vp . Trap. Spoke like a Worshipfull bencher . Alex. Trace all her steps : at this shee-foxes den Watch what lambs enter : let me play the sheepeheard To saue their throats from bleeding , and cut hers . Trap. This is the goll shall do ot . Alex. Be firme and gaine me Euer thine owne . This done I entertaine thee : How is thy name . Trap. My name sir is Raph Trapdore , honest Raph . Alex. Trapdore , be like thy name , a dangerous step For her to venture on , but vnto me . Trap. As fast as your sole to your boote or shooe sir . Alex. Hence then , be little seene here as thou canst . I le still be at thine elbow . Trap. The trapdores set . Moll if you budge y' are gon : this me shall crowne , A Roaring Boy , the Roaring Girle puts downe , Alex. God a mercy , loose no time . Exeunt . The three shops open in a ranke : the first a Poticaries shop , the next a Fether shop : the third a Sempsters shop : Mistresse Gallipot in the first , Mistresse Tiltyard in the next , Maister Openworke and his wife in the third , to them enters Laxton , Goshawke and Greenewit . Mi. Open.

Gentlemen what i st you lacke . What i st you buy , see fine bands and ruffes , fine lawnes , fine cambrickes , what i st you lacke Gentlemen , what i st you buy ?

Lax. Yonder s the shop . Gosh. Is that shee . Lax. Peace . Green Shee that minces Tobacco . Lax.

I : shee s a Gentlewoman borne I can tell you , tho it be her hard fortune now to shread Indian pot-hearbes .

Gosh.

Oh sir t is many a good womans fortune , when her husband turns bankrout , to begin with pipes and set vp againe .

Lax.

And indeed the raysing of the woman is the lifting vp of the mans head at all times , if one florish , tother will bud as fast I warrant ye .

Gosh. Come th' art familiarly acquainted there , I grope that . Lax.

And you grope no better i th dark you may chance lye i th ditch when y' are drunke .

Gosh. Go th' art a misticall letcher . Lax.

I will not deny but my credit may take vp an ounce of pure smoake .

Gosh.

May take vp an ell of pure smock ; away go , t is the closest striker . Life I think he commits venery 40 foote deepe , no mans aware on 't , I like a palpable smockster go to worke so openly , with the tricks of art , that I 'me as aparantly seen as a naked boy in a viall , & were it not for a guift of trechery that I haue in me to betray my friend when he puts most trust in me ( masse yonder hee is too — ) and by his iniurie to make good my accesse to her , I should appeare as defectiue in courting , as a Farmers sonne the first day of his feather , that doth nothing at Court , but woe the hangings and glasse windowes for a month together , and some broken wayting woman for euer after . I find those imperfections in my venerie , that were 't not for flatterie and falshood , I should want discourse and impudence , and hee that wants impudence among women , is worthy to bee kickt out at beds feet . — He shall not see me yet .

Greene . Troth this is finely shred . Lax. Oh women are the bèst mincers . Mist. Gal. 'T had bin a good phrase for a Cookes wife sir . Lax.

But 't will serue generally , like the front of a newe Almanacke ; as thus : Calculated for the meridian of Cookes wiues , but generally for all Englishwomen .

Mist. Gal. Nay you shall ha' te sir , I haue fild it for you . Shee puts it to the fire . Lax. The pipe 's in a good hand , and I wish mine alwaies so . Gree. But not to be vs'd a that fashion . Lax. O pardon me sir , I vnderstand no french . I pray be couerd . Iacke a pipe of rich smoake . Gosh. Rich smoake ; that 's 6. pence a pipe i st ? Green . To me sweet Lady . Mist. Gal. Be not forgetful ; respect my credit ; seem strange ; Art and Wit makes a foole of suspition : — pray be warie . Lax. Push , I warrant you : — come , how i st gallants ? Green . Pure and excellent . Lax.

I thought 't was good , you were growne so silent ; you are like those that loue not to talke at victuals , tho they make a worse noyse i' the nose then a common fidlers prentice , and discourse a whole Supper with snuffling ; — I must speake a word with you anone .

Mist. Gal. Make your way wisely then . ( ners , Gosh. Oh what else sir , hee 's perfection it selfe , full of man - But not an acre of ground belonging to 'em . Green .

I and full of forme , h 'as ne're a good stoole in 's chamber .

Gosh.

But aboue all religious : hee prayeth daily vpon elder brothers .

Green .

And valiant aboue measure ; h 'as runne three streets from a Serieant .

Lax. Puh , Puh . he blowes tobacco in their faces . Green . Gosh. Oh , puh , ho , ho . Lax. So , so . Mist. Gal. What s the matter now sir ? Lax.

I protest I 'me in extreame want of money , if you can supply mee now with any meanes , you doe mee the greatest pleasure , next to the bountie of your loue , as euer poore gentleman tasted .

Mist. Gal. What 's the summe would pleasure ye sir ? Tho you deserue nothing lesse at my hands . Lax.

Why 't is but for want of opportunitie thou know'st ; I put her off with opportunitie still : by this light I hate her , but for meanes to keepe me in fashion with gallants ; for what I take from her , I spend vpon other wenches , beare her in hand still ; shee has wit enough to rob her husband , and I waies enough to consume the money : why how now ? what the chin-cough ?

Gosh.

Thou hast the cowardliest tricke to come before a mans face and strangle him ere hee be aware , I could find in my heart to make a quarrell in earnest .

Lax.

Poxe and thou do'st , thou know'st I neuer vse to fight with my friends , thou 'l but loose thy labour in 't . Iacke Dapper !

Enter I. Dapper , and his man Gull . Greene . Mounsier Dapper , I diue downe to your anckles . I. Dap. Saue ye gentlemen all three in a peculiar salute . Gosh.

He were ill to make a lawyer , hee dispatches three at once .

Lax.

So wel said : but is this of the same Tobacco mistresse Gallipot ?

M. Gal. The same you had at first sir . Lax.

I wish it no better : this will serue to drinke at my chamber .

Gosh. Shall we taste a pipe on 't ? Lax.

Not of this by my troth Gentlemen , I haue sworne before you .

Gosh. What not Iacke dapper . Lax.

Pardon me sweet Iacke , I 'me sorry I made such a rash oath , but foolish oathes must stand : where art going Iacke .

Iac. Dap. Faith to buy one fether . Lax. One fether , the foole 's peculiar still . Iac. Dap. Gul. Gul. Maister . Iac. Dap.

Heer 's three halfepence for your ordinary , boy , meete me an howre hence in Powles .

Gul.

How three single halfepence ; life , this will scarce serue a man in sauce , a halporth of mustard , a halporth of oyle , and a halporth of viniger , what s left then for the pickle herring : this showes like finall beere i th morning after a great surfet of wine ore night , hee could spend his three pound last night in a supper amongst girles and braue baudy-house boyes , I thought his pockets cackeld not for nothing , these are the egs of three pound , I le go sup 'em vp presently .

Exit Gul. Lax.

Fight , nine , ten Angles , good wench ifaith , and one that loues darkenesse well , she puts out a candle with the best tricks of any drugsters wife in England : but that which mads her I raile vpon oportunity still , and take no notice on 't . The other night she would needs lead me into a roome with a candle in her hand to show me a naked picture , where no sooner entred but the candle was sent of an arrant : now I not intending to vnderstand her , but like a puny at the Innes of venery , cal'd for another light innocently , thus reward I all her cunning with simple mistaking . I know she cosens her husband to keepe me , and I le keepe her honest , as long as I can , to make the poore man some part of amends , an honest minde of a whooremaister , how thinke you amongst you , what a fresh pipe , draw in a third man .

Gosh. No your a horder , you ingrose by th ounces . At the Fether shop now . Iac. Dap. Puh I like it not . M. Tiltyard What fether i st you 'ld haue sir . These are most worne and most in fashion , Amongst the Beuer gallants the stone Riders . The priuate stages audience , the twelu peny stool Gentlemen , I can enforme you t is the generall fether . Iac. Dap. And therefore I mislike it , tell me of generall . Now a continuall Simon and Iudes raine Beate all your fethers as flat downe as pancakes . Shew me — — a — spangled fether , Mist. Tilt. Oh to go a feasting with , You 'd haue it for a hinch boy , you shall . At the Sempsters shop now . Maist. Open. Masse I had quite forgot , His Honours footeman was here last night wife , Ha you done with my Lords shirt . Mist. Open. What s that to you sir , I was this morning at his Honours lodging , Ere such a snake as you crept out of your shell . Maist. Open. Oh 't was well done good wife . Mt. Op. I hold it better sir , then if you had don 't your selfe . Ma. Op.

Nay so say I : but is the Countesses smocke almost donne mouse .

Mi. Op. Here lyes the cambricke sir , but wants I feare mee . Ma. Op. I le resolue you of that presently , Mi. Op. Haida , oh audacious groome , Dare you presume to noble womens linnen , Keepe you your yard to measure sheepeheards holland , I must confine you I see that . At the Tobacco shop now . Gosh. What say you to this geere . Lax. I dare the arrants critticke in Tobacco To lay one falt vpon 't . Enter Mol in a freese Jerkin and a blacke sauegard . Gosh. Life yonder s Mol . Lax. Mol which Mol . Gosh. honest Mol . Lax. Prithee le ts call her — Mol . All . Mol , Mol , pist Mol . Mol. How now , what s the matter . Gosh. A pipe of good tobacco Mol . Mol. I cannot stay . Gosh. Nay Moll puh , prethee harke , but one word ifaith . Mol. Well what i st . Green . Prithee come hither sirra . Lax.

Hart I would giue but too much money to be nibling with that wench , life , sh 'as the Spirit of foure great parishes , and a voyce that will drowne all the Citty , me thinkes a braue Captaine might get all his souldiers vpon her , and nere bee beholding to a company of mile-end milke sops , if hee could come on , and come off quicke enough : Such a Moll were a maribone before an Italian , hee would cry bona roba till his ribs were nothing but bone . I le lay hard siege to her , mony is that Aqua fortis , that eates into many a maidenhead , where the wals are flesh & bloud I le euer pierce through with a golden auguer .

Gosh. Now thy iudgement Moll , i st not good ? Mol.

Yes faith t is very good tobacco , how do you sell an an ounce , farewell . God b'y you Mistresse Gallipot ,

Gosh. Why Mol , Mol . Mol.

I cannot stay now ifaith , I am going to buy a shag cuffe , the shop will be shut in presently .

Gosh.

T is the maddest fantasticalst girle : — I neuer knew so much flesh and so much nimblenesse put together .

Lax.

Shee slips from one company to another , like a fat Eele between a Dutchmans fingers : — I le watch my time for her .

Mist. Gal. Some will not sticke to say shee s a man And some both man and woman . Lax.

That were excellent , she might first cuckold the husband and then make him do as much for the wife .

The Fether shop againe . Moll . Saue you ; how does Mistresse Tiltyard ? I. Dap. Mol . Mol. Iacke Dappper . I. Dap. How dost Mol . Mol. I le tell the by and by , I go but to th' next shop . I. Dap. Thou shalt find me here this howre about a fether . Mol.

Nay and a fether hold you in play a whole houre , a goose will last you all the daies of your life . Let me see a good shag ruffe .

The Sempster shop . Maist. Open.

Mistresse Mary that shalt thou ifaith , and the best in the shop .

Mist. Open.

How now , greetings , loue tearmes with a pox betweene you , haue I found out one of your haunts , I send you for hollands , and you 're i th the low countries with a mischiefe , I 'me seru'd with good ware by th shift , that makes it lye dead so long vpon my hands , I were as good shut vp shop , for when I open it I take nothing .

Maist. Open.

Nay and you fall a ringing once the diuell cannot stop you , I le out of the Belfry as fast as I can — Moll .

Mist. Open. Get you from my shop . Mol. I come to buy . ( shop Mist. Open. I le sell ye nothing , I warne yee my house and Mol. You goody Openworke , you that prick out a poore liuing And sowes many a bawdy skin-coate together , Thou priuate pandresse betweene shirt and smock , I wish thee for a minute but a man : Thou shouldst neuer vse more shapes , but as th' art I pitty my reuenge , now my spleenes vp , Enter a fellow with a long rapier by his side . I would not mocke it willingly — ha be thankfull . Now I forgiue thee . Mist. Open.

Mary hang thee , I neuer askt forgiuenesse in my life .

Mol. You goodman swinesface . Fellow What wil you murder me . Mol.

You remember slaue , how you abusd me t'other night in a Tauerne .

Fel. Not I by this light . Mol.

No , but by candlelight you did , you haue trickes to saue your oathes , reseruations haue you , and I haue reserued somewhat for you , — as you like that call for more , you know the signe againe .

Fel.

Pox an t , had I brought any company along with mee to haue borne witlesse on 't , 't wold ne're haue grieu'd me , but to be strucke and nobody by , t is my ill fortune still , why tread vpon a worme they say t will turne taile , but indeed a Gentleman should haue more manners .

Exit fellow . Lax.

Gallantly performed ifath Mol , and manfully , I loue thee for euer for t , base rogue , had he offerd but the least counter-buffe , by this hand I was prepared for him .

Mol.

You prepared for him , why should you be prepared for him , was he any more then a man .

Lax.

No nor so much by a yard and a handfull London measure ..

Moll .

Why do you speake this then , doe you thinke I cannot ride a stone horse , vnlesse one lead him by th snaffle .

Lax.

Yes and sit him brauely , I know thou canst Mol , t was but an honest mistake through loue , and I le make amends for t any way , prethee sweete plumpe Mol , when shall thou and I go out a towne together .

Mol. Whether to Tyburne prethee . Lax.

Masse that s out a towne indeed , thou hangst so many iests vpon thy friends stil . I meane honestly to Brainford , Staines or Ware .

Mol. What to do there . Lax.

Nothing but bee merry and lye together , I 'le hire a coach with foure horses .

Mol.

I thought 't would bee a beastly iourney , you may leaue out one wel , three horses will serue , if I play the iade my selfe .

Lax.

Nay push th' art such another kicking wench , prethee be kind and le ts meete .

Mol. T is hard but we shall meete sir . Lax.

Nay but appoint the place then , there 's ten Angels in faire gold Mol , you see I do not trifle with you , do but say thou wilt meete me , and I le haue a coach ready for thee .

Mol. Why here 's my hand I le meete you sir . Lax. Oh good gold , — the place sweete Mol . Mol. It shal be your appointment . Lax. Somewhat neere Holborne Mol . Mol. In Graies-Inne fields then . Lax. A match . Mol. I le meete you there . Lax. The houre . Mol. Three . Lax. That will be time enough to sup at Braineford . Fall from them to the other . Ma. Op.

I am of such a nature sir , I cannot endure the house when shee scolds , sh' has a tongue will be hard further in a still morning then Saint Antlings-bell , she railes vpon me for forraine wenching , that I being a freeman must needs keep a whore i th subburbs , and seeke to impouerish the liberties , when we fall out , I trouble you still to make all whole with my wife .

Gosh.

No trouble at all , t is a pleasure to mee to ioyne things together .

Maist. Open.

Go thy waies , I doe this but to try thy honesty Goshawke .

The Fether shop . Iac. Dap. How lik'st thou this Mol . Mol.

Oh singularly , you r fitted now for a bunch , he lookes for all the world with those spangled fethers like a noblemans bedpost : The purity of your wench would I faine try , shee seemes like Kent vnconquered , and I beleeue as many wiles are in her — oh the gallants of these times are shallow letchers , they put not their courtship home enough to a wench , t is impossible to know what woman is throughly honest , because shee 's nere thoroughly try'd , I am of that certaine beleefe there are more queanes in this towne of their owne making , then of any mans prouoking , where lyes the slacknesse then ? many a poore soule would downe , and ther 's nobody will push Women are courted but nere soundly tri'd , ( em : As many walke in spurs that neuer ride .

The Sempsters shop . Mist , Open. Oh abominable . Gosh.

Nay more I tell you in priuate , he keeps a whore i th subburbs .

Mist. Open.

O spittle dealing , I came to him a Gentlewoman borne . I le shew you mine armes when you please sir .

Gosh. I had rather see your legs , and begin that way . Mist. Openworke

T is well knowne he tooke me from a Ladies seruice , where I was well beloued of the steward , I had my Lattine tongue , and a spice of the French before I came to him , and now doth he keepe a subberbian whoore vnder my nostrils .

Gosh.

There 's waies enough to cry quite with him , harke in thine eare .

Mist. Open. There s a friend worth a Million . Mol I 'le try one speare against your chastity Mist. Tiltyard Though it proue too short by the burgh . Trap.

Masse here she is . Enter Ralph Trapdore I 'me bound already to serue her , tho it be but a sluttish tricke . Blesse my hopefull yong Mistresse with long life and great limbs , send her the vpper hand of all balifes , and their hungry adherents .

Mol. How now , what art thou ? Trap.

A poore ebbing Gentleman , that would gladly wait for the yong floud of your seruice .

Mol.

My seruice ! what should moue you to offer your seruice to me sir ?

Trap.

The loue I beare to your heroicke spirit and masculine womanhood .

Mol.

So sir , put case we should retaine you to vs , what parts are there in you for a Gentlewomans seruice .

Trap.

Of two kinds right Worshipfull : moueable , and immoueable : moueable to run of arrants , and immoueable to stand when you haue occasion to vse me .

Mol. What strength haue you . Trap.

Strength Mistresse Mol , I haue gon vp into a steeple , and staid the great bell as 't has beene ringing ; stopt a windmill going .

Mols trips vp his heels he fals . Mol. And neuer strucke downe your selfe . Trap. Stood as vpright as I do at this present . Mol.

Come I pardon you for this , it shall bee no disgrace to you : I haue strucke vp the heeles of the high Germaines size ere now , — what not stand .

Trap.

I am of that nature where I loue , I 'le bee at my mistresse foot to do her seruice .

Mol.

Why well said , but say your Mistresse should receiue iniury , haue you the spirit of fighting in you , durst you second her .

Trap.

Life I haue kept a bridge my selfe , and droue seuen at a time before me .

Mol. I . Trap.

But they were all Lincolneshire bullockes by my troth .

aside . Mol.

Well , meete me in Graies-Inne fields , between three and foure this afternoone , and vpon better consideration wee le retaine you .

Trap. I humbly thanke your good Mistreship , I le crack your necke for this kindnesse . Exit Trapdore Lax. Remember three . Mol meets Laxton Moll . Nay if I faile you hange me . Lax. Good wench Ifaith . then Openworke . Moll . Whos 's this . Maist. Open. T is I Mol . Moll . Prithee tend thy shop and preuent bastards . Maist. Open. We le haue a pint of the same wine ifaith Mol . The bel rings . Gosh. Harke the bell rings , come Gentlemen . Iacke Dapper where shal s all munch . Iae. Dap. I am for Parkers ordinary . Lax. Hee 's a good guest to 'm , hee deserues his boord , He drawes all the Gentlemen in a terme time thither , Wee le be your followers Iacke , lead the way , Looke you by my faith the foole has fetherd his nest well . Exeunt Gallants . Enter Maister Gallipot , Maister Tiltyard , and seruants with water Spaniels and a ducke . Maist. Tilt.

Come shut vp your shops , where 's Maister Openworke .

Mist. Gal. Nay aske not me Maister Tiltyard . Maist. Tilt. Wher 's his water dog , puh — pist — hur — hur-pist Maist. Gal.

Come wenches come , we 're going all to Hogsden .

Mist. Gal. To Hogsden husband . Maist. Gal. I to Hogsden pigs ny . Mist. Gal. I 'me not ready husband . spits in the dogs mouth Maist. Gal. Faith that 's well — hum — pist — pist . Maist. Gal. Come Mistresse Openworke you are so long . Mist. Open. I haue no ioy of my life Maister Gallipot . Maist. Gal,

Push , let your boy lead his water Spaniel along , and wee le show you the brauest sport at parlous pond , he trug , he trug , he trug , here s the best ducke in England , except my wife , he , he , he , fetch , fetch , fetch , come le ts away Of all the yeare this is the sportfulst day .

Enter Sebastian solus . Seb. If a man haue a free will , where should the vse More perfect shine then in his will to loue . All creatures haue their liberty in that , Enter Sir Alexander and listens to him . Tho else kept vnder seruile yoke and feare , The very bondslaue has his freedome there , Amongst a world of creatures voyc'd and silent . Must my desires weare fetters — yea are you So neere , then I must breake with my hearts truth ; Meete griefe at a backe way — well : why suppose . The two leaud tongues of slander or of truth Pronounce Mol loathsome : if before my loue Shee appeare faire , what iniury haue I , I haue the thing I like ? in all things else Mine owne eye guides me , and I find 'em prosper , Life what should aile it now ? I know that man Nere truely loues , if he gainesa yt he lyes , That winkes and marries with his fathers eyes . I le keepe myne owne wide open . Enter Mol and a porter with a viallon his backe . Alex. Here 's braue wilfulnesse , A made match , here she comes , they met a purpose . Por.

Must I carry this great fiddle to your chamber Mistresse Mary .

Mol.

Fiddle goodman hog-rubber , some of these porters beare so much for others , they haue no time to carry wit for themselues .

Por. To your owne chamber Mistresse Mary . Moll .

Who 'le heare an Asse speake : whither else goodman pagent-bearer : the 're people of the worst memories .

Exit Porter . Seb.

Why 't were too great a burthen loue , to haue them carry things in their minds , and a' ther backes together .

Mol. Pardon me sir , I thought not you so neere . Alex. So , so , so . Seb. I would be neerer to thee , and in that fashion , That makes the best part of all creatures honest . No otherwise I wish it . Mol.

Sir I am so poore to requite you , you must looke for nothing but thankes of me , I haue no humor to marry , I loue to lye aboth sides at h bed my selfe ; and againe a th' other side , a wife you know ought to be obedient , but I feare me I am too headstrong to obey , therefore I le nere go about it , I loue you so well sir for your good will I 'de be loath you should repent your bargaine after , and therefore wee le nere come together at first , I haue the head now of my selfe , and am man enough for a woman , marriage is but a chopping and changing , where a maiden looses one head , and has a worse i th place .

Alex.

The most comfortablest answer from a Roaring Girle , that euer mine eares drunke in .

Seb.

This were enough now to affright a foole for euer from thee , when t is the musicke that I loue thee for ,

Alex. There 's a boy spoyles all againe . Mol. Beleeue it sir I am not of that disdainefull temper , but I could loue you faithfully . Alex. A pox on you for that word . I like you not now , Y' are a cunning roarer I see that already . Mol.

But sleepe vpon this once more sir , you may chance shift a minde to morrow , be not too hasty to wrong your selfe , neuer while you liue sir take a wife running , many haue run out at heeles that haue don 't : you see sir I speake against my selfe , and if euery woman would deale with their suter so honestly , poore yonger brothers would not bee so often gul'd with old cosoning widdowes , that turne ore all their wealth in trust to some kinsman , and make the poore Gentleman worke hard for a pension , fare you well sir .

Seb. Nay prethee one word more . Alex. How do I wrong this girle , she puts him of still . Moll .

Thinke vpon this in cold bloud sir , you make as much hast as if you were a going vpon a sturgion voyage , take deliberation sir , neuer chuse a wife as if you were going to Virginia .

Seb. And so we parted , my too cursed fate . Alex. She is but cunning , giues him longer time in 't . Enter a Tailor : Taylor Mistresse Mol , Mistresse Mol : so ho ho so ho . Mol.

There boy , there boy , what dost thou go a hawking after me with a red clout on thy finger .

Taylor

I forgot to take measure on you for your new breeches .

Alex.

Hoyda breeches , what will he marry a monster with two trinckets , what age is this ? if the wife go in breeches , the man must weare long coates like a foole .

Mol.

What fidlings heere , would not the old patterne haue seru'd your turne .

Taylor .

You change the fashion , you say you 'le haue the great Dutch slop Mistresse Mary .

Mol. Why sir I say so still . Taylor . Your breeches then will take vp a yard more . Mol. Well pray looke it be put in then . Taylor . It shall stand round and full I warrant you , Mol. Pray make em easy enough . Taylor .

I know my fault now , t'other was somewhat stiffe betweene the legges , I le make these open enough I warrant you .

Alex.

Heer 's good geere towards , I haue brought vp my sonne to marry a Dutch slop , . and a French dublet , a codpice daughter .

Taylor . So , I haue gone as farre as I can go . Mol. Why then farewell . Taylor .

If you go presently to your chamber Mistresse Mary , pray send me the measure of your thigh , by some honest body .

Mol. Well sir , I le send it by a Porter presently . Exit Mol. Taylor .

So you had neede , it is a lusty one , both of them would make any porters backe ake in England .

Exit Taylor . Seb. I haue examined the best part of man , Reason and iudgement , and in loue they tell me , They leaue me vncontrould , he that is swayd By an vnfeeling bloud , past heat of loue His spring time must needes erre , his watch nere goes right That sets his dyall by a rusty clocke , Alex. So , and which is that rusty clocke sir you . Seb. The clocke at Ludgate sir , it nere goes true . Alex. But thou goest falser : not thy fathers cares Can keepe thee right , when that insensible worke , Obayes the workemans art , le ts off the houre And stops againe when time is satisfied , But thou runst on , and iudgement , thy maine wheele , Beats by all stoppes , as if the worke would breake Begunne with long paines for a minutes ruine , Much like a suffering man brought vp with care . At last bequeath'd to shame and a short prayer , Seb. I tast you bitterer then I can deserue sir . Alex. Who has bewitch thee sonne , what diuell or drug , Hath wrought vpon the weaknesse of thy bloud , And betrayd all her hopes to ruinous folly ? Oh wake from drowsy and enchanted shame , Wherein thy soule sits with a golden dreame Flatred and poysoned , I am old my sonne , ( mine owne Oh let me preuaile quickly , for I haue waightier businesse of Then to chide thee : I must not to my graue , As a drunkard to his bed , whereon he lyes Onely to sleepe , and neuer cares to rise , Let me dispatch in time , come no more neere her . Seb. Not honestly , not in the way of marriage , Alex.

What sayst thou marriage , in what place , the Sessions house , and who shall giue the bride , prethe , an inditement .

Seb. Sir now yee take part with the world to wrong her . Alex. Why , wouldst thou faine marry to be pointed at , Alas the numbers great , do not o're burden 't , Why as good marry a beacon on a hill , Which all the country fixe their eyes vpon As her thy folly doates on . If thou longst To haue the story of thy infamous fortunes , Serue for discourse in ordinaries and tauernes Th' art in the way : or to confound thy name , Keepe on , thou canst not misse it : or to strike Thy wretched father to vntimely coldnesse , Keepe the left hand still , it will bring thee to 't . Yet if no teares wrung from thy fathers eyes , Nor sighes that flye in sparkles , from his sorrowes , Had power to alter what is wilfull in thee , Me thinkes her very name should fright thee from her , And neuer trouble me . Seb. Why is the name of Mol so fatall sir . Alex. Many one sir , where suspect is entred , For seeke all London from one end to t'other , More whoores of that name , then of any ten other . Seb. What s that to her ? let those blush for themselues . Can any guilt in others condemne her ? I 'ue vowd to loue her : let all stormes oppose me , That euer beate against the brest of man , Nothing but deaths blacke tempest shall diuide vs . Alex. Oh folly that can dote on nought but shame . Seb. Put case a wanton itch runs through one name More then another , is that name the worse , Where honesty sits possest in 't ? it should rather Appeare more excellent , and deserue more praise , When through foule mists a brightnesse it can raise . Why there are of the diuels , honest Gentlemen , And well descended , keepe an open house , And some at h ( good mans ) that are arrant knaues . He hates vnworthily , that by rote contemnes , For the name neither saues , nor yet condemnes , And for her honesty , I haue made such proofe an 't , In seuerall formes , so neerely watcht her waies , I will maintaine that strict , against an army , Excepting you my father : here 's her worst , Sh' has a bold spirit that mingles with mankind , But nothing else comes neere it : and oftentimes Through her apparell somewhat shames her birth , But she is loose in nothing but in mirth , Would all Mols were no worse . Alex. This way I toyle in vaine and giue but ayme To infamy and ruine : he will fall , My blessing cannot stay him : all my ioyes Stand at the brinke of a deuouring floud And will be wilfully swallowed : wilfully . But why so vaine , let all these teares be lost , I le pursue her to shame , and so als crost . Exit Sir Alexander Seb. Hee is gon with some strange purpose , whose effect Will hurt me little if he shoot so wide , To thinke I loue so blindly : I but feed His heart to this match , to draw on th' other . Wherein my ioy sits with a full wish crownd ; Onely his moode excepted which must change . By opposite pollicies , courses indirect , Plaine dealing in this world takes no effect . This madde girle I 'le acquaint with my intent , Get her assistance , make my fortunes knowne , Twixt louers hearts , shee 's a fit instrument , And has the art to help them to their owne , By her aduise , for in that craft shee 's wise , My loue and I may meete , spite of all spies . Exit Sebastian . Enter Laxton in Graies-Inne fields with the Coachman . Lax. Coachman . Coach . Heere sir . Lax.

There 's a tester more , prethee driue thy coach to the hither end of Marybone parke , a fit place for Mol to get in .

Coach . Marybone parke fir . Lax. I , it s in our way thou knowst . Coach . It shall be done fir . Lax. Coachman . Coach . A non sir . Lax. Are we fitted with good phrampell iades . Coach . The best in Smithfield I warrant your sir . Lax.

May we safely take the vpper hand of any coacht veluet cappe or tuftaffety iacket , for they keepe a vilde swaggering in coaches now a daies , the hye waies are stopt with them .

Coach .

My life for yours and baffle em to sir , — why they are the same iades beleeue it sir , that haue drawne all your famous whores to Ware .

Lax.

Nay then they know their businesse , they neede no more instructions .

Coach .

The 're so vsd to such iourneis sir , I neuer vse whip to em ; for if they catch but the sent of a wench once , they runne like diuels .

Exit Coachman with his whip . Lax.

Fine Cerberus , that rogue will haue the start of a thousand ones , for whilst others trot a foot , hee le ride prauncing to hell vpon a coach-horse .

Stay , t is now about the hourse of her appointment , but yet I see her not , harke what s this , one , two three , three by the clock The clocke striks three . at Sauoy , this is the houre , and Graies-Inne fields the place , shee swore she 'ed meete mee : ha yonder s two Innes a Court-man with one wench , but that s not shee , they walke toward Islington out of my way , I see none yet drest like her , I must looke for a shag ruffe , a freeze ierken , a shortsword , and a safeguard , or I get none : why Mol prethee make hast , or the Coachman will cursse vs anon .

Enter Mol like a man . Mol.

Oh heere s my Gentleman : if they would keepe their daies as well with their Mercers as their houres with their harlots , no bankrout would giue seuen score pound for a seriants place , for would you know a catchpoole rightly derived , the corruption of a Cittizen , is the generation of a seriant , how his eye hawkes for venery . Come are you ready sir .

Lax. Ready , for what sir . Mol.

Do you aske that now sir , why was this meeting pointed .

Lax. I thought you mistooke me sir , You seeme to be some yong barrister , I haue no suite in law — all my land 's sold I praise heauen for 't ; t' has rid me of much trouble , Mol. Then I must wake you sir , where stands the coach , Lax. Whos 's this , Mol : honest Mol . Mol.

So young , and purblind , your an old wanton in your eyes I see that .

Lax.

Th' art admirably suited for the three pigions at Brainford , I le sweare I knew thee not .

Mol. I le sweare you did not : but you shall know me now . Lax.

No not here , we shall be spyde efaith , the coach is better , come .

Mol. Stay . Lax. What wilt thou vntrusse a point Mol . Shee puts of her cloake and drawes . Mol.

Yes , heere 's the point that I vntrusse , 't has but one tag , 't will serue tho to tye vp a rogues tongue .

Lax. How . ( here 's her pace , Mol. There 's the gold with which you hir'd your hackney , Shee rackes hard , and perhaps your bones will feele it , Ten angels of mine own , I 'ue put to thine , win em , & weare em , Lax. Hold Moll , Mistresse Mary . Mol. Draw or I le serue an execution on thee Shall lay thee vp till doomes day . Lax. Draw vpon a woman , why what dost meane Mol ? Mol. To teach thy base thoughts manners : th' art one of those That thinkes each woman thy fond flexable whore , If she but cast a liberall eye vpon thee , Turne backe her head , shee s thine , or amongst company , By chance drinke first to thee : then shee 's quite gon , There 's no meanes to help her : nay for a need , Wilt sweare vnto thy credulous fellow letchers . That th' art more in fauour with a Lady at first sight Then her monky all her life time , How many of our sex , by such as thou Haue their good thoughts paid with a blasted name That neuer deserued loosly or did trip In path of whooredome , beyond cup and lip . But for the staine of conscience and of soule , Better had women fall into the hands Of an act silent , then a bragging nothing , There 's no mercy in 't — what durst moue you sir , To think me whoorish ? a name which I de teare out From the hye Germaines throat , if it lay ledger there To dispatch priuy slanders against mee . In thee I defye all men , there worst hates , And their best flatteries , all their golden witchcrafts , With which they intangle the poore spirits of fooles , Distressed needlewomen and trade-fallne wiues . Fish that must needs bite , or themselues be bitten , Such hungry things as these may soone be tooke With a worme fastned on a golden hooke . Those are the letchers food , his prey , he watches For quarrelling wedlockes , and poore shifting sisters , T is the best fish he takes : but why good fisherman , Am I thought meate for you , that neuer yet Had angling rod cast towards me ? cause you 'le say I 'me giuen to sport , I 'me often mery , iest , Had mirth no kindred in the world but lust ? O shame take all her friends then : but how ere Thou and the baser world censure my life , I le send 'em word by thee , and write so much Vpon thy breast , cause thou shalt bear 't in mind , Tell them 't were base to yeeld , where I haue conquer'd . I scorne to prostitute my selfe to a man , I that can prostitute a man to mee , And so I greete thee . Lax. Heare me . Mol. Would the spirits of al my slanders , were claspt in thine . That I might vexe an army at one time , Lax. I do repent me , hold , They fight . Mol. You 'l die the better Christian then . Lax. I do confesse I haue wrong'd thee Mol . Mol. Confession is but poore amends for wrong , Vnlesse a rope would follow . Lax. I aske thee pardon . Mol. I 'me your hir'd whoore fir . Lax. I yeeld both purse and body . Mol. Both are mine , and now at my disposing . Lax. Spare my life . Mol. I scorne to strike thee basely . Lax. Spoke like a noble girle i'faith .

Heart I thinke I fight with a familiar , or the Ghost of a fencer , Sh' has wounded me gallantly , call you this a letcherous viage ? Here 's bloud would haue seru'd me this seuen yeare in broken heads and cut fingers , & it now runs all out together , pox a the three pigions , I would the coach were here now to carry mee to the Chirurgions .

Exit Laxton . Mol. If I could meete my enemies one by one thus , I might make pretty shift with 'em in time , And make 'em know , shee that has wit , and spirit , May scorne to liue beholding to her body for meate , Or for apparell like your common dame , That makes shame get her cloathes , to couer shame . Base is that minde , that kneels vnto her body , As if a husband stood in awe on 's wife , My spirit shall be Mistresse of this house , As long as I haue time in 't . — — oh Enter Trapdore . Heere comes my man that would be : 't is his houre . Faith a good well set fellow , if his spirit Be answerable to his vmbles ; he walkes stiffe , But whether he will stand to 't stifly , there 's the point ; Has a good calfe for 't , and ye shall haue many a woman Choose him shee meanes to meke her head , by his calfe ; I do not know their trickes in 't , faith he seemes A man without ; I 'le try what he is within , Trap. Shee told me Graies-Inne fields twixt three & foure , I le fit her Mistreship with a peece of seruice , I 'me hir'd to rid the towne of one mad girle . Shee iustles him What a pox ailes you sir ? Mol. He beginnes like a Gentleman , Trap. Heart , is the field so narrow , or your eye-sight : Life he comes backe againe . She comes towards him . Mol. Was this spoke to me sir . Trap. I cannot tell sir . Mol. Go y' are a coxcombe . Trap. Coxcombe . Mol. Y' are a slaue . Trap. I hope there 's law for you sir . Mol. Ye , do you see sir . Turne his hat . Trap.

Heart this is no good dealing , pray let me know what house your off .

Mol. One of the Temple sir . Philips him . Trap. Masse so me thinkes . Mol. And yet sometime I lye about chicke lane . Trap. I like you the worse because you shift your lodging I le not meddle with you for that tricke sir . ( so often Mol. A good shift , but it shall not serue your turne . Trap. You 'le giue me leaue to passe about my businesse sir . Mol.

Your businesse , I le make you waite on mee before I ha done , and glad to serue me too .

Trap.

How sir , serue you , not if there were no more men in England .

Moll . But if there were no more women in England I hope you 'd waite vpon your Mistresse then , Trap. Mistresse . Mol. Oh your a tri'd spirit at a push sir , Trap. What would your Worship haue me do . Mol. You a fighter . Trap. No , I praise heauen , I had better grace & more maners . Mol. As how I pray sir . Trap.

Life , 't had bene a beastly part of me to haue drawne my weapons vpon my Mistresse , all the world would a cry'd shame of me for that .

Mol. Why but you knew me not . Trap.

Do not say so Mistresse , I knew you by your wide straddle , as well as if I had bene in your belly .

Mol.

Well , we shall try you further , i th meane time wee giue you intertainement .

Trap. Thanke your good Mistreship . Mol. How many suites haue you . Trap. No more suites then backes Mistresse . Mol. Well if you deserue , I cast of this , next weeke , And you may creepe into 't . Trap. Thanke your good Worship . Mol. Come follow me to S. Thomas Apostles , I le put a liuery cloake vpon your backe , the first thing I do , Trap. I follow my deere Mistresse . Exeunt omnes Enter Mistresse Gallipot as from supper , her husband after her . Maist. Gal. What Pru , Nay sweete Prudence . Mist. Gal.

What a pruing keepe you , I thinke the baby would haue a teate it kyes so , pray be not so fond of me , leaue your Citty humours , I 'me vext at you to see how like a calfe you come bleating after me .

Maist. Gal.

Nay hony Pru: how does your rising vp before all the table shew ? and flinging from my friends so vnciuily , fiye Pru , fye , come .

Mist. Gal. Then vp and ride ifaith . Maist. Gal.

Vp and ride , nay my pretty Pru , that s farre from my thought , ducke : why mouse , thy minde is nibbling at something , what 's i st , what lyes vpon thy Stomach ?

Mist. Gal.

Such an asse as you : hoyda , y' are best turne midwife , or Physition : y' are a Poticary already , but I 'me none of your drugs .

Maist. Gal.

Thou art a sweete drug , sweetest Pru , and the more thou art pounded , the more pretious .

Mist. Gal. Must you be prying into a womans secrets : say ye ? Maist. Gal. Womans secrets . Mist. Gal.

What ? I cannot haue a qualme come vpon mee but your teeth waters , till your nose hang ouer it .

Maist. Gal. It is my loue deere wife . Mist. Gal.

Your loue ? your loue is all words ; giue mee deeds , I cannot abide a man that s too fond ouer me , so cookish ; thou dost not know how to handle a woman in her kind ,

Maist. Gal. No Pru ? why I hope I haue handled . — Mist. Gal. Handle a fooles head of your owne , — fih — fih . Maist. Gal.

Ha , ha , t is such a waspe ; it does mee good now to haue her sing me , little rogue .

Mist. Gal.

Now fye how you vex me , I cannot abide these aperne husbands : such cotqueanes , you ouerdoe your things , they become you scuruily .

Maist. Gal.

Vpon my life she breeds , heauen knowes how I haue straind my selfe to please her , night and day : I wonder why wee Cittizens should get children so fretfull and vntoward in the breeding , their fathers being for the most part as gentle as milch kine : shall I leaue thee my Pru.

Mist. Gal. Fye , fye , fye . Maist. Gal.

Thou shalt not bee vext no more , pretty kind rogue , take no cold sweete Pru.

Exit Maist. Gallipot . Mist. Gal.

As your wit has done : now Maister Laxton shew your head , what newes from you ? would any husband suspect that a woman crying , Buy any scurui-grasse , should bring loue letters amongst her herbes to his wife , pretty tricke , fine conueyance ? had iealousy a thousand eyes , a silly woman with scuruy-grasse blinds them all ; Laxton with bayes crown I thy wit for this , it deserues praise .

This makes me affect thee more , this prooues thee wise , Lacke what poore shift is loue forc't to deuise ? ( to th' point ) She reads the letter . O Sweete Creature — ( a sweete beginning ) pardon my long absence , for thou shalt shortly be possessed with my presence ; though Demophon was false to Phillis , I will be to thee as Pan-da-rus was to Cres-sida : tho Eneus made an asse of Dido , I will dye to thee ere I do so ; o sweetest creature make much of me , for no man beneath the siluer moone shall make more of a woman then I do of thee , furnish me therefore with thirty pounds , you must doe it of necessity for me ; I languish till I see some comfort come from thee , protesting not to dye in thy debt , but rather to liue so , as hitherto I haue and will . Thy true Laxton euer . Alas poore Gentleman , troth I pitty him , How shall I raise this money ? thirty pound ? T is thirty sure , a 3 before an 0 , I know his threes too well ; my childbed linnen ? Shall I pawne that for him ? then if my marke Be knowne I am vndone ; it may be thought My husband's bankrout : which way shall I turne ? Laxton , what with my owne feares , and thy wants , I 'me 〈◊〉 needle twixt two adamants . Enter Maister Gallipot hastily . Maist. Gal.

Nay , nay , wife , the women are all vp , ha , how , reading a letters ? I smel a goose , a couple of capons , and a gammon of bacon from her mother out of the country , I hold my life , — steale , — steale .

Mist. Gal. O beshrow your heart . Maist. Gal. What letter 's that ? I 'le see 't . She teares the letter . Mist. Gal.

Oh would thou had'st no eyes to see the downefall of me and thy selfe : I 'me for euer , for euer I 'me vndone .

Maist. Gal. What ailes my Pru ? what paper 's that thou tear'st ? Mist. Gal. Would I could teare My very heart in peeces : for my soule Lies on the racke of shame , that tortures me Beyond a womans suffering . Maist. Gall: What meanes this ? Mist. Gall. Had you no other vengeance to throw downe , But euen in heigth of all my ioyes ? Maist. Gal. Deere woman . Mist. Gal.

When the full sea of pleasure and content seem'd to flow ouer me .

Maist. Gal.

As thou desirest to keepe mee out of bedlam , tell what troubles thee , is not thy child at nurse falne sicke , or dead ?

Mist. Gal. Oh no . Maist. Gal. Heauens blesse me , are my barnes and houses Yonder at Hockly hole consum'd with fire , I can build more , sweete Pru. Mist. Gal. T is worse , t is worse . Maist. Gal. My factor broke , or is the Ionas suncke . Mist. Gal. Would all we had were swallowed in the waues , Rather then both should be the scorne of slaues . Maist. Gal. I 'me at my wits end . Mist. Gal. Oh my deere husband , Where once I thought my selfe a fixed starre , Plac't onely in the heauen of thine armes , I feare now I shall proue a wanderer , Oh Laxton , Laxton , is it then my fate To be by thee orethrowne ? Maist. Gal. Defend me wisedome , From falling into frenzie , on my knees . ( thy bosome . Sweete Pru , speake , what s that Laxton who so heauy lyes on Mist. Gal. I shall sure run mad . Maist. Gal. I shall run mad for company then : speak to me , I 'me Gallipot thy husband , — Pru , — why Pru. Art sicke in conscience for some villanous deed Thou wert about to act , didst meane to rob me , Tush I forgiue thee , hast thou on my bed Thrust my soft pillow vnder anothers head ? I le winke at all faults Pru , las that s no more , Then what some neighbours neere thee , haue done before , Sweete hony Pru , what s that Laxton ? Mist. Gall. Oh . Maist. Gal. Out with him . Mist. Gall. Oh hee 's borne to be my vndoer , This hand which thou calst thine , to him was giuen , To him was I made sure i th sight of heauen . Maist. Gal. I neuer heard this thunder . Mist. Gall. Yes , yes , before I was to thee contracted , to him I swore , Since last I saw him twelue moneths three times told , The Moone hath drawne through her light siluer bow , For ore the seas hee went , and it was said , ( But Rumor lyes ) that he in France was dead . But hee 's aliue , oh hee 's aliue , he sent , That letter to me , which in rage I rent , Swearing with oathes most damnably to haue me , Or teare me from this bosome , oh heauens saue me , Maist. Gal.

My heart will breake , — sham'd and vndone for euer .

Mist. Gal. So black a day ( poore wretch ) went ore thee neuer . Maist. Gal. If thou shouldst wrastle with him at the law , Th' art sure to fall , no odde slight , no preuention . I le tell him th' art with child . Mist. Gal. Vmh . Maist. Gall.

Or giue out one of my men was tane a bed with thee .

Mist. Gal. Vmh , vmh . Maist. Gal. Before I loose thee my deere Pru ; I le driue it to that push . Mist. Gal. Worse , and worse still , You embrace a mischiefe , to preuent an ill . Maist. Gal. I le buy thee of him , stop his mouth with Gold , Think'st thou t will do . Mist. Gall. Oh me , heauens grant it would , Yet now my sences are set more in tune , He writ , as I remember in his letter , That he in riding vp and downe had spent , ( Ere hee could finde me ) thirty pounds , send that , Stand not on thirty with him . Maist. Gal.

Forty Pru , say thou the word t is done , wee venture liues for wealth , but must do more to keepe our wiues , thirty or forty Pru.

Mist. Gal. Thirty good sweete Of an ill bargaine le ts saue what we can , I le pay it him with my teares , he was a man When first I knew him of a meeke spirit , All goodnesse is not yet dryd vp I hope . Maist. Gall. He shall haue thirty pound , let that stop all : Loues sweets tast best , when we haue drunke downe Gall . Enter Maister Tiltyard , and his wife , Maister Goshawke , and Mistresse Openworke . Gods so , our friends ; come , come , smoth your cheeke ; After a storme the face of heauen looks sleeke . Maist. Tilt. Did I not tell you these turtles were together ? Mist. Tilt. How dost thou sirra ? why sister Gallipot ? Mist. Open. Lord how shee 's chang'd ? Gosh. Is your wife ill sir ? Maist. Gal. Yes indeed la sir , very ill , very ill , neuer worse , Mist. Tilt. How her head burnes , feele how her pulses work . Mist. Open.

Sister lie downe a little , that alwaies does mee good .

Mist. Tilt. In good sadnesse I finde best ease in that too , Has shee laid some hot thing to her Stomach ? Mist. Gal. No , but I will lay something anon . Maist. Tilt.

Come , come fooles , you trouble her , shal 's goe Maister Goshawke ?

Gosh.

Yes sweete Maister Tiltyard ; sirra Rosamond I hold my life Gallipot hath vext his wife .

Mist. Open. Shee has a horrible high colour indeed . Gosh.

Wee shall haue your face painted with the same red soone at night , when your husband comes from his rubbers in a false alley ; thou wilt not beleeue me that his bowles run with a wrong byas .

Mist. Open.

It cannot sinke into mee , that hee feedes vpon stale mutten abroad , hauing better and fresher at home .

Gosh.

What if I bring thee , where thou shalt see him stand at racke and manger ?

Mist. Open.

I le saddle him in 's kind , and spurre him till hee kicke againe .

Gosh. Shall thou and I ride our iourney then . Mist. Open. Heere 's my hand . Gosh.

No more ; come Maister Tiltyard , shall we leape into the stirrops with our women , and amble home ?

Maist. Tilt. Yes , yes , come wife . Mist. Tilt. Introth sister , I hope you will do well for all this . Mist. Gal.

I hope I shall : farewell good sister : sweet Maister Goshawke .

Maist. Gal. Welcome brother , most kindlie welcome sir . Omnes Thankes sir for our good cheere . Exeunt all but Gallipot and his wife . Maist. Gal. It shall be so , because a crafty knaue Shall not out reach me , nor walke by my dore With my wife arme in arme , as 't were his whoore , I 'le giue him a golden coxcombe , thirty pound : Tush Pru what 's thirty pound ? sweete ducke looke cheerely . Mist. Gal. Thou art worthy of my heart thou bui'st it deerely . Enter Laxton muffled . Lax.

Vds light the tide 's against me , a pox of your Potticarishp : oh for some glister to set him going ; 't is one of Hercules labours , to tread one of these Cittie hennes , because their cockes are stil crowing ouer them ; there 's no turning tale here , I must on .

Mist. Gal. Oh , husband see he comes . Maist. Gal. Let me deale with him . Lax. Blesse you sir . Maist. Gal. Be you blest too sir if you come in peace . Lax. Haue you any good pudding Tobacco sir ? Mist. Gal. Oh picke no quarrels gentle sir , my husband Is not a man of weapon , as you are , He knowes all , I haue opned all before him , concerning you . Lax. Zounes has she showne my letters . Mist Gal. Suppose my case were yours , what would you do . At such a pinch , such batteries , such assaultes ▪ Of father , mother , kinred , to dissolue The knot you tyed , and to be bound to him ? How could you shift this storme off ? Lax. If I know hang me . Mist. Gal. Besides a story of your death was read Each minute to me . Lax. What a pox meanes this ridling ? Maist. Gal. Be wise sir , let not you and I be tost On Lawiers pens ; they haue sharpe nibs and draw Mens very heart bloud from them ; what need you sir To beate the drumme of my wifes infamy , And call your friends together sir to prooue Your precontact , when sh' has confest it ? Lax. Vmh sir , — has she confest it ? Maist. Gal. Sh' has 'faith to me sir , vpon your letter sending . M. i st . Gal. I haue , I haue . Lax. If I let this yron coole call me slaue , Do you heare , you dame Prudence ? think'st thou vile woman I 'le take these blowes and winke ? Mist. Gal. Vpon my knees . Lax. Out impudence . Maist. Gal. Good sir . Lax. You goatish slaues , No wilde foule to cut vp but mine ? Maist. Gal. Alas sir , You make her flesh to tremble , fright her not , Shee shall do reason , and what 's fit . Lax. I 'le haue thee , wert thou more common Then an hospitall , and more diseased . — Maist. Gal. But one word good sir . Lax. So sir . Maist. Gal. I married her , haue line with her , and got Two children on her body , thinke but on that ; Haue you so beggarly an appetite When I vpon a dainty dish haue fed To dine vpon my scraps , my leauings ? ha sir ? Do I come neere you uow sir ? Lax. Be Lady you touch me . Maist. Gal. Would not you scorne to weare my cloathes sir ? Lax. Right sir . Maist. Gal. Then pray sir weare not her , for shee 's a garment So fitting for my body , I 'me loath Another should put it on , you will vndoe both . Your letter ( as shee said ) complained you had spent In quest of her , some thirty pound , I 'le pay it ; Shall that sir stop this gap vp twixt you two ? Lax. Well if I swallow this wrong , let her thanke you : The mony being paid sir , I am gon : Farewell , oh women happy 's hee trusts none . Mist. Gall. Dispatch him hence sweete husband . Maist. Gal. Yes deere wife : pray sir come in , ere Maister Thou shalt in wine drinke to him , Exit Maister Gallipot and his wife . ( Laxton part Mist. Gal. With all my heart ; — how dost thou like my wit ? Lax. Rarely , that wile By which the Serpent did the first woman beguile , Did euer since , all womens bosomes fill ; Y' are apple eaters all , deceiuers still . Exit Laxton . Enter Sir Alexander Wengraue : Sir Dauy Dapper , Sir Adam Appleton , at one dore , and Trapdore at another doore . Alex. Out with your tale Sir Dauy , to Sir Adam . A Knaue is in mine eie deepe in my debt . Sir Da. Nay : if hee be a knaue sir , hold him fast . Alex. Speake softly , what egge is there hatching now . Trap.

A Ducks egge sir , a ducke that has eaten a frog , I haue crackt the shell , and some villany or other will peep out presently ; the ducke that sits is the bouncing Rampe ( that Roaring Girle my Mistresse ) the drake that must tread is your sonne Sebastian .

Alex. Be quicke . Trap. As the tongue of an oister wench . Alex. And see thy newes be true . Trap. As a barbars euery satterday night — mad Mol . Alex. Ah . Trap. Must be let in without knocking at your backe gate . Alex. So . Trap. Your chamber will be made baudy . Alex. Good . Trap. Shee comes in a shirt of male . Alex. How shirt of male ? Trap. Yes sir or a male shirt , that 's to say in mans apparell . Alex. To my sonne . Trap.

Close to your sonne : your sonne and her Moone will be in coniunction , if all Alminacks lie not , her blacke saueguard is turned into a deepe sloppe , the holes of her vpper body to button holes , her wastcoate to a dublet , her placket to the ancient seate of a codpice , and you shall take 'em both with standing collers .

Alex. Art sure of this ? Trap.

As euery throng is sure of a pick-pocket , as sure as a whoore is of the clyents all Michaelmas Tearme , and of the pox after the Tearme .

Alex. The time of their tilting ? Trap. Three . Alex. The day ? Trap. This . Alex. Away ply it , watch her . Trap.

As the diuell doth for the death of a baud , I 'le watch her , do you catch her .

Alex. Shee 's fast : heere weaue thou the nets ; harke , Trap. They are made . ( maintain 't . Alex. I told them thou didst owe mee money ; hold it vp : Trap. Stifly ; as a Puritan does contention , Foxe I owe thee not the value of a halfepenny halter . Alex. Thou shalt be hang'd in 't ere thou scape so . Varlet I 'le make thee looke through a grate . Trap.

I 'le do 't presently , through a Tauerne grate , drawer : pish .

Exit Trapdore Adam . Has the knaue vext you sir ? Alex. Askt him my mony , He sweares my sonne receiu'd it : oh that boy Will nere leaue heaping sorrowes on my heart , Till he has broke it quite . Adam . Is he still wild ? Alex. As is a russian Beare . Adam . But he has left His old haunt with that baggage . Alex. Worse still and worse , He laies on me his shame , I on him my curse . S. Dauy. My sonne Iacke Dapper then shall run with him , All in one pasture . Adam . Proues your sonne bad too sir ? S. Dauy. As villany can make him : your Sebastian Doares but on one drabb , mine on a thousand , A noyse of fiddlers , Tobacco , wine and a whoore , A Mercer that will let him take vp more , Dyce , and a water spaniell with a Ducke : oh , Bring him a bed with these , when his purse gingles , Roaring boyes follow at 's tale , fencers and ningles , ( Beasts Adam nere gaue name to ) these horse-leeches sucke My sonne , he being drawne dry , they all liue on smoake . Alex. Tobacco ? S. Dauy Right , but I haue in my braine A windmill going that shall grind to dust The follies of my sonne , and make him wise , Or a starke foole ; pray lend me your aduise . Both . That shall you good sir Dauy . S. Dauy. Heere 's the sprindge i ha set to catch this woodcocke in : an action In a false name ( vnknowne to him ) is entred . I' th Counter to arrest Iacke Dapper . Both . Ha , ha , he . S. Dauy. Thinke you the Counter cannot breake him ? Adam . Breake him ? Yes and brēake 's heart too if he lie there long . S. Dauy. I 'le make him sing a Counter tenor sure . Adam . No way to tame him like it , there hee shall learne What mony is indeed , and how to spend it . S. Dauy. Hee 's bridled there . Alex. I , yet knowes not how to mend it , Bedlam cures not more madmen in a yeare , Then one of the Counters does , men pay more deere There for there wit then any where ; a Counter Why 't is an vniuersity , who not sees ? As schollers there , so heere men take degrees , And follow the same studies ( all alike . ) Schollers learne first Logicke and Rhetoricke . So does a prisoner ; with fine honied speech At 's first comming in he doth perswade , beseech , He may be lodg'd with one that is not itchy ; To lie in a cleane chamber , in sheets not lowsy , But when he has no money , then does he try , By subtile Logicke , and quaint sophistry , To make the keepers trust him . Adam . Say they do . Alex. Then hee 's a graduate . S. Dauy. Say they trust him not , Alex. Then is he held a freshman and a sot , And neuer shall commence , but being still bar'd Be expulst from the Maisters side , to th' twopenny ward , Or else i' th hole , beg plac't . Adam . When then I pray proceeds a prisoner . Alex. When mony being the theame , He can dispute with his hard creditors hearts , And get out cleere , hee 's then a Maister of Arts ; Sir Dauy send your sonne to Woodstreet Colledge , A Gentleman can no where get more knowledge . S. Dauy. There Gallants study hard . Alex. True : to get mony . S. Dauy. ' lies by th' heeles i'faith , thankes , thankes , I ha sent For a couple of beares shall paw him . Enter Seriant Curtilax and Yeoman Hanger . Adam . Who comes yonder ? S. Dauy. They looke like puttocks , these should be they . Alex. I know 'em , they are officers , sir wee 'l leaue you . S. Dauy. My good knights . Leaue me , you see I 'me haunted now with spirits . Both . Fare you well sir . Exeunt Alex. and Adam , Curt. This old muzzle chops should be he By the fellowes discription : Saue you sir . S. Dauy.

Come hither you mad varlets , did not my man tell you I watcht here for you .

Curt.

One in a blew coate sir told vs , that in this place an old Gentleman would watch for vs , a thing contrary to our oath , for we are to watch for euery wicked member in a Citty .

S. Dauy.

You 'l watch then for ten thousand , what 's thy name honesty ?

Curt. Seriant Curtilax I sir . S. Dauy. An excellent name for a Seriant , Curtilax . Seriants indeed are weapons of the law , When prodigall ruffians farre in debt are growne , Should not you cut them ; Cittizens were orethrowne , Thou dwel'st hereby in Holborne Curtilax . Curt. That 's my circuit sir , I coniure most in that circle . S. Dauy. And what yong toward welp is this ? Hang. Of the same litter , his yeoman sir , my name's Hanger . S. Dauy. Yeoman Hanger . One paire of sheeres sure cut out both your coates , You haue two names most dangerous to mens throates , You two are villanous loades on Gentlemens backs , Deere ware , this Hanger and this Curtilax . Curt.

We are as other men are sir , I cannot see but hee who makes a show of honesty and religion , if his clawes can fasten to his liking , he drawes bloud ; all that liue in the world , are but great fish and little fish , and feede vpon one another , some eate vp whole men , a Seriant cares but for the shoulder of a man , they call vs knaues and curres , but many times hee that sets vs on , worries more lambes one yeare , then we do in seuen .

S. Dauy. Spoke like a noble Cerberus , is the action entred ? Hang. His name is entred in the booke of vnbeleeuers . S. Dauy. What booke 's that ? Curt.

The booke where all prisoners names stand , and not one amongst forty , when he comes in , beleeues to come out in hast .

S. Da. Be as dogged to him as your office allowes you to be . Both . Oh sir . S. Dauy. You know the vnthrift Iacke Dapper . Curt. I , I , sir , that Gull ? aswell as I know my yeoman . S. Dauy. And you know his father too , Sir Dauy Dapper ? Curt.

As damn'd a vsurer as euer was among Iewes ; if hee were sure his fathers skinne would yeeld him any money , hee would when he dyes flea it off , and sell it to couer drummes for children at Bartholmew faire .

S. Dauy.

What toades are these to spit poyson on a man to his face ? doe you see ( my honest rascals ? ) yonder gray-hound is the dog he hunts with , out of that Tauerne Iacke Dapper will sally sa , sa ; giue the counter , on , set vpon him .

Both . Wee 'l charge him vppo' th backe sir . S. Dauy.

Take no baile , put mace enough into his caudle , double your files , trauerse your ground .

Both . Braue sir . S. Dauy : Cry arme , arme , arme . Both . Thus sir . S. Dauy.

There boy , there boy , away : looke to your prey my trew English wolues , and and so I vanish .

Exit S. Dauy Curt.

Some warden of the Seriants begat this old fellow vpon my life , stand close .

Hang. Shall the ambuscado lie in one place ? Curt. No uooke thou yonder . Enter Mol and Trapdore . Mol. Ralph . Trap. What sayes my braue Captaine male and female ? Mol. This Holborne is such a wrangling streete , Trap. That 's because Lawiers walkes to and fro in 't . Mol.

Heere 's such iustling , as if euery one wee met were drunke and reel'd .

Trap. Stand Mistresse do you not smell carrion ? Mol. Carryon ? no , yet I spy rauens . Trap.

Some poore winde-shaken gallant will anon fall into sore labour , and these men-midwiues must bring him to bed i' the counter , there all those that are great with child with debts , lie in .

Mol. Stand vp . Trap. Like your new maypoll . Hang. Whist , whew . Curt. Hump , no . Mol.

Peeping ? it shall go hard huntsmen , but I 'le spoyle your game , they looke for all the world like two infected maltmen comming muffled vp in their cloakes in a frosty morning to London .

Trap. A course , Captaine ; a beare comes to the stake . Enter Iacke Dapper and Gul. Mol.

It should bee so , for the dogges struggle to bee let loose .

Hang. Whew . Curt. Hemp . Moll . Harke Trapdore , follow your leader . Iacke Dap. Gul. Gul. Maister . Iacke Dap. Did'st euer see such an asse as I am boy ? Gul.

No by my troth sir , to loose all your mony , yet haue false dice of your owne , why 't is as I saw a great fellow vsed t'other day , he had a faire sword and buckler , and yet a butcher dry beate him with a cudgell .

Both .

Honest Serieant fly , flie Maister Dapper you 'l be arrested else .

Iacke Dap. Run Gul and draw . Gul. Run Maister , Gull followes you . Exit Dapper and Gull . Curt.

I know you well enough , you 'r but a whore to hang vpon any man .

Mol.

Whores then are like Serieants , so now hang you , draw rogue , but strike not : for a broken pate they 'l keepe their beds , and recouer twenty markes damages .

Curt.

You shall pay for this rescue , runne downe shoelane and meete him .

Trap. Shu , is this a rescue Gentlemen or no ? Mol. Rescue ? a pox on 'em , Trapdore let 's away , I 'me glad I haue done perfect one good worke to day , If any Gentleman be in Scriueners bands , Send but for Mol , she 'll baile him by these hands . Exeunt . Enter Sir Alexander Wengraue solus . Alex. Vnhappy in the follies of a sonne , Led against iudgement , sence , obedience , And all the powers of noblenesse and wit ; Enter Trapdore Oh wretched father , now Trapdore will she come ? Trap. In mans apparell sir , I am in her heart now , And share in all her secrets . Alex. Peace , peace , peace . Here take my Germane watch , hang 't vp in sight , That I may see her hang in English for 't . Trap. I warrant you for that now , next Sessions rids her sir , This watch will bring her in better then a hundred constables . Alex. Good Trapdore saist thou so , thou cheer'st my heart After a storme of sorrow , — my gold chaine too , Here take a hundred markes in yellow linkes . Trap. That will do well to bring the watch to light sir . And worth a thousand of your Headborowes lanthornes . Alex. Place that a' the Court cubbart , let it lie Full in the veiw of her theefe-whoorish eie . Trap.

Shee cannot misse it sir , I see 't so plaine , that I could steal 't my selfe .

Alex. Perhaps thou shalt too , That or something as weighty ; what shee leaues , Thou shalt come closely in , and filch away , And all the weight vpon her backe I 'le lay . Trap. You cannot assure that sir . Alex. No , what lets it ? Trap. Being a stout girle , perhaps shee 'l desire pressing , Then all the weight must ly vpon her belly . Alex. Belly or backe I care not so I 'ue one . Trap. You 'r of my minde for that sir . Alex. Hang vp my ruffe band with the diamond at it , It may be shee 'l like that best . Trap.

It 's well for her , that shee must haue her choice , hee thinkes nothing too good for her , if you hold on this minde a little longer , it shall bee the first worke I doe to turne theefe my selfe ; would do a man good to be hang'd when he is so wel prouided for .

Alex. So , well sayd ; all hangs well , would shee hung so too , The sight would please me more , then all their gilsterings : Oh that my mysteries to such streights should runne , That I must rob my selfe to blesse my sonne . Exeunt . Enter Sebastian , with Mary Fitz-Allard like a page , and Mol. Seb. Thou hast done me a kind office , without touch Either of sinne or shame , our loues are honest . Mol. I 'de scorne to make such shift to bring you together else . Seb. Now haue I time and opportunity Without all feare to bid thee welcome loue . Kisse . Mary . Neuer with more desire and harder venture . Mol. How strange this shewes one man to kisse another . Seb. I 'de kisse such men to chuse Moll , Me thinkes a womans lip tasts well in a dublet : Mol. Many an old madam has the better fortune then , Whose breathes grew stale before the fashion came , If that will help 'em , as you thinke 't will do , They 'l learne in time to plucke on the hose too . Seb. The older they waxe Moll , troth I speake seriously , As some haue a conceit their drinke tasts better In an outlandish cup then in our owne , So me thinkes euery kisse she giues me now In this strange forme , is worth a paire of two , Here we are safe , and furthest from the eie Of all suspicion , this is my fathers chamber , Vpon which floore he neuer steps till night . Here he mistrusts me not , nor I his comming , At mine owne chamber he still pries vnto me , My freedome is not there at mine owne finding , Still checkt and curb'd , here he shall misse his purpose . Mol. And what 's your businesse now , you haue your mind sir ; At your great suite I promisd you to come , I pittied her for names sake , that a Moll Should be so crost in loue , when there 's so many , That owes nine layes a peece , and not so little : My taylor fitted her , how like you his worke ? Seb. So well , no Art can mend it , for this purpose , But to thy wit and helpe we 're chiefe in debt , And must liue still beholding . Mol. Any honest pitty I 'me willing to bestow vpon poore Ring-doues . Seb. I 'le offer no worse play . Moll . Nay and you should sir , I should draw first and prooue the quicker man , Seb. Hold , there shall neede no weapon at this meeting , But cause thou shalt not loose thy fury idle , Heere take this viall , runne vpon the guts , And end thy quarrell singing . Mol. Like a swan aboue bridge , For looke you heer 's the bridge , and heere am I . Seb. Hold on sweete Mol . Mary .

I 'ue heard her much commended sir , for one that was nere taught .

Mol.

I 'me much beholding to 'em , well since you 'l needes put' vs together sir , I 'le play my part as wel as I can ; it shall nere be said I came into a Gentlemans chamber , and let his instrument hang by the walls .

Seb.

Why well said Mol i'faith , it had bene a shame for that Gentleman then , that would haue let it hung still , and nere offred thee it .

Mol.

There it should haue bene stil then for Mol , for though the world iudge impudently of mee , I nere came into that chamber yet , where I tooke downe the instrument my selfe .

Seb.

Pish let 'em prate abroad , th' art heere where thou art knowne and lou'd , there be a thousand close dames that wil cal the viall an vnmannerly instrument for a woman , and therefore talke broadly of thee , when you shall haue them sit wider to a worse quality .

Mol.

Push , I euer fall a sleepe and thinke not of 'em sir , and thus I dreame .

Seb. Prithee let 's heare thy dreame Mol . Mol. I dreame there is a Mistresse , And she layes out the money , The song . Shee goes vnto her Sisters , Shee neuer comes at any . Enter Sir Alexander behind them Shee sayes shee went to 'th Bursse for patternes , You shall finde her at Saint Katherns , And comes home with neuer a penny . Seb. That 's a free Mistresse 'faith . Alex. I , I , I , like her that sings it , one of thine own choosing . Mol. But shall I dreame againe ? Here comes a wench will braue ye , Her courage was so great , Shee lay with one o' the Nauy , Her husband lying i' the Fleet . Yet oft with him she cauel'd , I wonder what shee ailes , Her husbands ship lay grauel'd , When her's could hoyse vp sailes , Yet shee beganne like all my foes , To call whoore first : for so do those ; A pox of all false tayles . Seb. Marry amen say I . Alex. So say I too . Mol.

Hang vp the viall now sir : all this while I was in a dreame , one shall lie rudely then ; but being awake , I keepe my legges together ; a watch , what 's a clocke here .

Alex. Now , now , shee 's trapt . Moll .

Betweene one and two ; nay then I care not : a watch and a musitian are cossen Germanes in one thing , they must both keepe time well , or there 's no goodnesse in 'em , the one else deserues to be dasht against a wall , and tother to haue his braines knockt out with a fiddle case , what ? a loose chaine and a dangling Diamond .

Here were a braue booty for an euening-theefe now , There 's many a younger brother would be glad To looke twice in at a window for 't , And wriggle in and out , like an eele in a sandbag , Oh if mens secret youthfull faults should iudge 'em , 'T would be the general'st execution ,

That ere was seene in England ; there would bee but few left to sing the ballets , there would be so much worke : most of our brokers would be chosen for hangmen , a good day for them : they might renew their wardrops of free cost then .

Seb. This is the roaring wench must do vs good . Mary .

No poyson sir but serues vs for some vse , which is confirm'd in her .

Seb. Peace , peace , foot I did here him sure , where ere he be . Mol. Who did you heare ? Seb. My father , 't was like a sight of his , I must be wary , Alex. No wilt not be , am I alone so wretched That nothing takes ? I 'le put him to his plundge for 't . Seb. Life , heere he comes , — sir I beseech you take it , Your way of teaching does so much content me , I 'le make it foure pound , here 's forty shillings sir . I thinke I name it right : helpe me good Mol , Forty in hand . Mol. Sir you shall pardon me , I haue more of the meanest scholler I can teach , This paies me more , then you haue offred yet . Seb. At the next quarter When I receiue the meanes my father ' lowes me . You shall haue tother forty , Alex. This were well now , Wer 't to a man , whose sorrowes had blind eies , But mine behold his follies and vntruthes , With two cleere glasses — how now ? Seb. Sir . Alex. What 's he there ? Seb. You 'r come in good time sir , I 'ue a suite to you , I 'de craue your present kindnesse . Alex. What is he there ? Seb. A Gentleman , a musitian sir , one of excellent fingring . Alex. I , I thinke so , I wonder how they scapt her . Seb. Has the most delicate stroake sir , Alex. A stroake indeed , I feele it at my heart , Seb. Puts downe all your famous musitians . Alex. I , a whoore may put downe a hundred of 'em . Seb. Forty shillings is the agrement sir betweene vs , Now sir , my present meanes , mounts but to halfe on 't . Alex. And he stands vpon the whole . Seb. I indeed does he sir . Alex. And will doe still , hee 'l nere be in other taile , Seb. Therefore I 'de stop his mouth sir , and I could , Alex. Hum true , there is no other way indeed , His folly hardens , shame must needs succeed . Now sir I vnderstand you professe musique . Mol. I am a poore seruant to that liberall science sir . Alex. Where is it you teach ? Mol. Right against Cliffords Inne . Alex. Hum that 's a fit place for it : you haue many schollers . Mol. And some of worth , whom I may call my maisters . Alex.

I true , a company of whooremaisters ; you teach to sing too ?

Mol. Marry do I sir . Alex.

I thinke you 'l finde an apt scholler of my sonne , especially for pricke-song .

Mol. I haue much hope of him . Alex.

I am sory for 't , I haue the lesse for that : you can play any lesson .

Mol. At first sight sir . Alex. There 's a thing called the witch , can you play that ? Mol. I would be sory any one should mend me in 't . Alex. I , I beleeue thee , thou hast so bewitcht my sonne , No care will mend the worke that thou hast done , I haue bethought my selfe since my art failes , I 'le make her pollicy the Art to trap her . Here are foure Angels markt with holes in them Fit for his crackt companions , gold he will giue her , These will I make induction to her ruine , And rid shame from my house , griefe from my heart Here sonne , in what you take content and pleasure , Want shall not curbe you , pay the Gentleman His latter halfe in gold . Seb. I thanke you sir . Alex. Oh may the operation an 't , end three , In her , life : shame , in him ; and griefe , in mee . Exit Alexander . Seb. Faith thou shalt haue 'em 't is my fathers guift , Neuer was man beguild with better shift . Mol. Hee that can take mee for a male musitian , I cannot choose but make him my instrument , And play vpon him . Exeunt omnes . Enter Mistresse Gallipot , and Mistresse Openworke . Mi. Gal. Is then that bird of yours ( Maister Goshawke ) so wild ? Mist. Open.

A Goshawke , a Puttocke ; all for prey : he angles for fish , but he loues flesh better .

Mist. Gal.

Is 't possible his smoth face should haue wrinckles in 't , and we not see them ?

Mist. Open.

Possible ? why haue not many handsome legges in silke stockins villanous splay feete for all their great roses ?

Mist. Gal. Troth firra thou saist true . Mist. Op.

Didst neuer see an archer ( as tho 'ast walkt by Bun-hill ) looke a squint when he drew his bow ?

Mist. Gal.

Yes , when his arrowes haue flin'e toward Islington , his eyes haue shot cleane contrary towards Pimlico .

Mist. Open.

For all the world so does Maister Goshawke double with me .

Mist. Gal. Oh fie vpon him , if he double once he 's not for me . Mist. Open.

Because Goshawke goes in a shag-ruffe band , with a face sticking vp in 't , which showes like an agget set in acrampe ring , he thinkes I 'me in loue with him .

Mist. Gal. 'Las I thinke he takes his marke amisse in thee . Mist. Open.

He has by often beating into me made mee beleeue that my husband kept a whore .

Mist. Gal. Very good . Mist. Open.

Swore to me that my husband this very morning went in a boate with a tilt ouer it , to the three pidgions at Brainford , and his puncke with him vnder his tilt .

Mist. Gal. That were wholesome . Mist. Open.

I beleeu'd it , fell a swearing at him , curssing of harlots , made me ready to hoyse vp saile , and be there as soone as hee .

Mist. Gal. So , so . Mist. Open.

And for that voyage Goshawke comes hither incontinently , but sirra this water-spaniell diues after no ducke but me , his hope is hauing mee at Braineford to make mee cry quack .

Mist. Gall. Art sure of it ? Mist. Open.

Sure of it ? my poore innocent Openworke came in as I was poking my ruffe , presently hit I him i' the teeth with the three pidgions : he forswore all , I vp and opened all , and now stands he ( in a shop hard by ) like a musket on a rest , to hit Goshawke i' the eie , when he comes to fetch me to the boate .

Mist. Gal.

Such another lame Gelding offered to carry mee through thicke and thinne , ( Laxton sirra ) but I am ridd of him now .

Mist. Open.

Happy is the woman can bee ridde of 'em all ; 'las what are your whisking gallants to our husbands , weigh 'em rightly man for man .

Mist. Gall. Troth meere shallow things . Mist. Open.

Idle simple things , running heads , and yet let 'em run ouer vs neuer so fast , we shop-keepers ( when all 's done ) are sure to haue 'em in our pursnets at length , and when they are in , Lord what simple animalls they are .

Mist. Open. Then they hang head . Most . Gal. Then they droupe . Mist. Open. Then they write letters . Mist. Gal. Then they cogge . Mist. Open.

Then they deale vnder hand with vs , and wee must ingle with our husbands a bed , and wee must sweare they are our cosens , and able to do vs a pleasure at Court .

Mist. Gal.

And yet when wee haue done our best , als but put into a riuen dish , wee are but frumpt at and libell'd vpon .

Mist. Open.

Oh if it were the good Lords will , there were a law made , no Cittizen should trust any of 'em all .

Enter Goshawke . Mist. Gal. Hush sirra , Goshawke flutters . Gosh. How now , are you ready ? Mist. Open.

Nay are you ready ? a little thing you see makes vs ready .

Gosh. Vs ? why , must shee make one i' the voiage ? Mist. Open.

Oh by any meanes , do I know how my husband will handle mee ?

Gosh.

'Foot , how shall I find water , to keepe these two mils going ? Well since you 'l needs bee clapt vnder hatches , if I sayle not with you both till all split , hang mee vp at the maine yard , & duck mee ; it 's but lickering them both soundly , & then you shall see their corke heeles flie vp high , like two swannes when their tayles are aboue water , and their long neckes vnder water , diuing to catch gudgions : come , come , oares stand ready , the tyde 's with vs , on with those false faces , blow winds and thou shalt take thy husband , casting out his net to catch fresh Salmon at Brainford .

Mist. Gal.

I beleeue you 'l eate of a coddes head of your owne dressing , before you reach halfe way thither .

Gosh. So , so , follow close , pin as you go . Enter Laxton muffled . Lax. Do you heare ? Mist. Gal. Yes , I thanke my eares . Lax. I must haue a bout with your Poticariship , Mist. Gal. At what weapon ? Lax. I must speake with you . Mist. Gal. No . Lax No ? you shall . Mist. Gal. Shall ? away soust Sturgion , halfe fish , halfe flesh . Lax.

'Faith gib , are you spitting , I 'le cut your tayle puscat for this ,

Mist. Gal.

'Las poore Laxton , I thinke thy tayle 's cut already : your worst ;

Lax. If I do not , — Exit Laxton . Gosh. Come , ha' you done ? Enter Maister Openworke . Sfoote Rosamond , your husband . welcome , Maist. Open. How now ? sweete Maist. Goshawke , none more I haue wanted your embracements : when friends meete , The musique of the spheares sounds not more sweete , Then does their conferenc : who is this ? Rosamond : Wife : how now sister ? Gosh. Silence if you loue mee . Maist. Open. Why maskt ? Mist. Open. Does a maske grieue you sir ? Maist. Open. It does . Mist. Open. Then y' are best get you a mumming . Gosh. S'foote you 'l spoyle all . Mist. Gall. May not wee couer our bare faces with maskes As well as you couer your bald heads with hats ? Ma. Op. No maskes , why , th' are theeues to beauty , that rob Of admiration in which true loue lies , ( eies Why are maskes worne ? why good ? or why desired ? Vnlesse by their gay couers wits are fiered To read the vild'st lookes ; many bad faces , ( Because rich gemmes are treasured vp in cases ) Passe by their priuiledge currant , but as caues Dambe misers Gold , so maskes are beauties graues , Men nere meete women with such muffled eies , But they curse her , that first did maskes deuise , And sweare it was some beldame . Come off with 't . Mist. Open. I will not . Maist. Open. Good faces maskt are Iewels kept by spirits . Hide none but bad ones , for they poyson mens sights , Show then as shop-keepers do their broidred stuffe , ( By owle light ) fine wares cannot be open enough , Prithee ( sweete Rose ) come strike this sayle . Mist. Open. Saile ? ( eyes : Maist. Op. Ha ? yes wife strike saile , for stormes are in thine Mist. Open. Th' are here sir in my browes if any rise . Maist. Open. Ha browes ? ( what sayes she friend ) pray tel me Your two flagges were aduaunst ; the Comedy , ( why Come what 's the Comedy ? Mist. Open. Westward hoe . Maist. Open. How ? Mist. Open. 'T is Westward hoe shee saies . Gosh. Are you both madde ? Mist. Open.

Is 't Market day at Braineford , and your ware not sent vp yet ?

Maist. Open. What market day ? what ware ? Mist. Open.

Apy with three pidgions in 't , 't is drawne and staies your cutting vp .

Gosh. As you regard my credit . Maist. Open. Art madde ? Mist. Open. Yes letcherous goate ; Baboone . Maist. Open. Baboone ? then tosse mee in a blancket , Mist. Open. Do I it well ? Mist. Gall. Rarely . Gosh. Belike sir shee 's not well ; best leaue her . Maist. Open. No , I 'le stand the storme now how fierce so ere it blow . Mist. Open. Did I for this loose all my friends ? refuse Rich hopes , and golden fortunes , to be made A stale to a common whore ? Maist. Open. This does amaze mee . Mist. Open. Oh God , oh God , feede at reuersion now ? A Strumpets leauing ? Maist. Open. Rosamond , Gosh. I sweate , wo'ld I lay in cold harbour . Mist. Open.

Thou hast struck ten thousand daggers through my heart .

Maist. Open. Not I by heauen sweete wife . ( thee Mist. Open. Go diuel go ; that which thou swear'st by , damnes Gosh. S'heart will you vndo mee ? Mist. Open.

Why stay you heere ? the starre , by which you saile , shines yonder aboue Chelsy ; you loose your shore if this moone light you : seeke out your light whore .

Maist. Open. Ha ? Mist. Gal. Push ; your Westerne pug . Gosh, Zounds now hell roares . Mist. Open.

With whom you tilted in a paire of oares , this very morning .

Maist. Open. Oares ? Mist. Open. At Brainford sir . Maist. Open.

Racke not my patience : Maister Goshawke , some slaue has buzzed this into her , has he not ? I run a tilt in Brainford with a woman ? 't is a lie : What old baud tels thee this ? S'death 't is a lie .

Mist. Open. 'T is one to thy face shall iustify all that I speake . Maist. Open. Vd'soule do but name that rascall . Mist. Open. No sir I will not . Gosh. Keepe thee there girle : — then ! Mist. Open. Sister know you this varlet ? Mist. Gall. Yes . Maist. Open. Sweare true ,

Is there a rogue so low damn'd ? a second Iudas ? a common hangman ? cutting a mans throate ? does it to his face ? bite mee behind my backe ? a cur dog ? sweare if you know this hell-hound .

Mist. Gall. In truth I do , Maist. Open. His name ? Mist. Gall. Not for the world ; To haue you to stab him . Gosh. Oh braue girles : worth Gold . Maist. Open. A word honest maister Goshawke . Draw out his sword Gosh. What do you meane sir ? Maist. Open.

Keepe off , and if the diuell can giue a name to this new fury , holla it throngh my eare , or wrap it vp in some hid character : I 'le ride to Oxford , and watch out mine eies , but I 'le heare the brazen head speak : or else shew me but one haire of his head or beard , that I may sample it ; if the fiend I meet ( in myne owne house ) I 'le kill him : — the streete .

Or at the Church dore : — there — ( cause he seekes to vnty The knot God fastens ) he deserues most to dy . Mist. Open. My husband titles him . Maist. Open. Maister Goshawke , pray sir Sweare to me , that you know him or know him not , ( wiues , Who makes me at Brainford to take vp a peticote beside my Gosh. By heauen that man I know not . Mist. Open. Come , come , you lie . Gosh. Will you not haue all out ? By heauen I know no man beneath the moon Should do you wrong , but if I had his name , I 'de print it in text letters . Mist. Open. Print thine owne then , Did'st not thou sweare to me he kept his whoore ? Mist. Gal. And that in sinfull Brainford they would commit That which our lips did water at sir , — ha ? Mist. Open. Thou spider , that hast wouen thy cunning web In mine owne house t' insnare me : hast not thou Suck't nourishment euen vnderneath this roofe , And turned it all to poyson ? spitting it , On thy friends face ( my husband ? ) he as t' were sleeping : Onely to leaue him vgly to mine eies , That they might glance on thee . Mist. Gal. Speake , are these lies ? Gosh. Mine owne shame me confounds : Mist. Open. No more , hee 's stung ; Who 'd thinke that in one body there could dwell Deformitie and beauty , ( heauen and hell ) Goodnesse I see is but outside , wee all set , In rings of Gold , stones that be counterfet : I thought you none . Gosh. Pardon mee . Maist. Open. Truth I doe . This blemish growes in nature not in you , For mans creation sticke euen moles in scorne On fairest cheeks , wife nothing is perfect borne . Mist. Open. I thought you had bene borne perfect . Maist. Open. What 's this whole world but a gilt rotten pill ? For at the heart lies the old chore still . I 'le tell you Maister Goshawke , I in your eie I haue seene wanton fire , and then to try The soundnesse of my iudgement , I told you I kept a whoore , made you beleeue 't was true , Onely to feele how your pulse beate , but find , The world can hardly yeeld a perfect friend . Come , come , a tricke of youth , and 't is forgiuen , This rub put by , our loue shall runne more euen . Mist. Open , You 'l deale vpon mens wiues no more ? Gosh. No : — you teach me a tricke for that . Mist. Open. Troth do not , they 'l o're-reach thee . Mai. Open. Make my house yours sir still . Gosh. No . Maist. Open. I say you shall : Seeing ( thus besieg'd ) it holds out , 't will neuer fall . Enter Maister Gallipot , and Greenewit like a Somner , Laxton muffled a loofo off . Omnes How now ? Maist. Gall. With mee sir ? Greene .

You sir ? I haue gon snaffling vp and downe by your dore this houre to watch for you .

Mist. Gall. What 's the matter husband ? Greene .

— I haue caught a cold in my head sir , by sitting vp late in the rose tauerne , but I hope you vnderstand my speech .

Maist. Gal. So sir . Greene .

I cite you by the name of Hippocrates Gallipot , and you by the name of Prudence Gallipot , to appeare vpon Crastino , doe you see , Crastino sancti Dunstani ( this Easter Tearme ) in Bow Church .

Maist. Gall. Where sir ? what saies he ? Greene .

Bow : Bow Church , to answere to a libel of precontract on the part and behalfe of the said Prudence and another ; y' are best sir take a coppy of the citation , 't is but tweluepence .

Omnes A Citation ? Maist. Gal.

You pocky-nosed rascall , what slaue fees you to this ?

Lax. Slaue ? I ha nothing to do with you , doe you heare sir ? Gosh. Laxton i st not ? — what fagary is this ? Maist. Gal.

Trust me I thought sir this storme long ago had bene full laid , when ( if you be remembred ) I paid you the last fifteene pound , besides the thirty you had first , — for then you swore .

Lax. Tush , tush sir , oathes , Truth yet I 'me loth to vexe you , — tell you what ; Make vp the mony I had an hundred pound , And take your belly full of her . Maist. Gall. An hundred pound ? Mist. Gal.

What a 100 pound ? he gets none : what a 100 pound ?

Maist. Gal. Sweet Pru be calme , the Gentleman offers thus , If I will make the monyes that are past A 100 pound , he will discharge all courts , And giue his bond neuer to vexe vs more . Mist. Gal. A 100 pound ? 'Las ; take sir but threescore , Do you seeke my vndoing ? Lax.

I 'le not bate one sixpence , — I 'le mall you pusse for spitting .

Mist. Gal. Do thy worst , Will fourescore stop thy mouth ? Lax. No . Mist. Gal. Y' are a slaue , Thou Cheate , I 'le now teare mony from thy throat , Husband lay hold on yonder tauny-coate . Greene .

Nay Gentlemen , seeing your woemen are so hote , I must loose my haire in their company I see .

Mist. Ope.

His haire sheds off , and yet he speaks not so much in the nose as he did before .

Gosh.

He has had the better Chirurgion , Maister Greenewit , is your wit so raw as to play no better a part then a Somners ?

Maist. Gal.

I pray who playes a knacke to know an honest man in this company ?

Mist. Gall. Deere husband , pardon me , I did dissemble , Told thee I was his precontracted wife , When letters came from him for thirty pound , I had no shift but that . Maist. Gal.

A very cleane shift : but able to make mee lowsy , On .

Mist. Gal.

Husband , I pluck'd ( when he had tempted mee to thinke well of him ) Get fethers from thy wings , to make him flie more lofty .

Maist. Gall. A' the top of you wife : on . Mist. Gal. He hauing wasted them , comes now for more , Vsing me as a ruffian doth his whore , Whose sinne keepes him in breath : by heauen I vow , Thy bed he neuer wrong'd , more then he does now . Maist. Gal.

My bed ? ha , ha , like enough , a shop-boord will serue to haue a cuckolds coate cut out vpon : of that wee 'l talke hereafter : y' are a villaine .

Lax. Heare mee but speake sir , you shall finde mee none . Omnes Pray sir , be patient and heare him . Maist. Gal. I am muzzled for biting sir , vse me how you will . Lax. The first howre that your wife was in my eye , My selfe with other Gentlemen sitting by , ( In your shop ) tasting smoake , and speech beng vsed , That men who haue fairest wiues are most abused , And hardly scapt the horne , your wife maintain'd That onely such spots in Citty dames were stain'd , Iustly , but by mens slanders : for her owne part , Shee vow'd that you had so much of her heart ; No man by all his wit , by any wile , Neuer so fine spunne , should your selfe be guile , Of what in her was yours . Maist. Gal.

Yet Pru 't is well : play out your game at Irish sir : Who winnes ?

Mist. Open. The triall is when shee comes to bearing : Lax. I scorn'd one woman , thus , should braue all men , And ( which more vext me ) a shee-citizen . Therefore I laid siege to her , out she held , Gaue many a braue repulse , and me compel'd With shame to sound retrait to my hot lust , Then seeing all base desires rak'd vp in dust , And that to tempt her modest eares , I swore Nere to presume againe : she said , her eie Would euer giue me welcome honestly , And ( since I was a Gentlman ) if it runne low , Shee would my state relieue , not to o'rethrow Your owne and hers : did so ; then seeing I wrought Vpon her meekenesse , mee she set at nought , And yet to try if I could turne that tide , You see what streame I stroue with , but sir I sweare By heauen , and by those hopes men lay vp there , I neither haue , nor had a base intent To wrong your bed , what 's done , is meriment : Your Gold I pay backe with this interest , When I had most power to do 't I wrong'd you least . Maist. Gal. If this no gullery be sir , Omnes No , no , on my life , Maist. Gal. Then sir I am beholden ( not to you wife ) But Maister Laxton to your want of doing ill , Which it seemes you haue not Gentlemen , Tarry and dine here all . Maist. Open. Brother , we haue a iest , As good as yours to furnish out a feast . Maist. Gal. Wee 'l crowne our table with it : wife brag no more , Of holding out : who most brags is most whore . Exeunt omnes . Enter Iacke Dapper , Moll , Sir Beautious Ganymed , and Sir Thomas Long . Iacke Dap.

But prethee Maister Captaine Iacke be plaine and perspicuous with mee ; was it your Megge of Westminsters courage , that rescued mee from the Poultry puttockes indeed .

Mol.

The valour of my wit I ensure you sir fetcht you off brauely , when you werre i' the forlorne hope among those desperates , Sir Bewtious Ganymed here , and sir Thomas Long heard that cuckoe ( my man Trapdore ) sing the note of your ransome from captiuty .

Sir Bewt. Vds so Mol , where 's that Trapdore ? Mol.

Hang'd I thinke by this time , a Iustice in this towne , ( that speakes nothing but make a Mittimus a way with him to Newgate ) vsed that rogue like a fire-worke to run vpon a line betwixt him and me .

Omnes how , how ? Mol.

Marry to lay traines of villany to blow vp my life ; I smelt the powder , spy'd what linstocke gaue fire to shoote against the poore Captaine of the Gallifoyst , & away slid I my man , like a shouell-board shilling , hee stroutes vp and downe the suburbes I thinke : and eates vp whores : feedes vpon a bauds garbadg .

T. Long . Sirra Iacke Dapper . Iac , Dap. What sai'st Tom Long ? T. Long .

Thou hadst a sweet fac't boy haile fellow with thee to your little Gull : how is he spent ?

Iack. Dap.

Troth I whistled the poore little buzzard of a my fist , because when hee wayted vpon mee at the ordinaries , the gallants hit me i' the teeth still , and said I lookt like a painted Aldermans tomb , and the boy at my elbow like a deaths head . Sirra Iacke , Mol .

Mol. What saies my little Dapper ? Sir Bewt. Come , come , walke and talke , walke and talke . Iack. Dap. Mol and I 'le be i' the midst . Mol.

These Knights shall haue squiers places belike then : well Dapper what say y ou ?

Iack. Dap.

Sirra Captaine mad Mary , the gull my owne father ( Dapper ) Sir Dauy ) laid these London boote-halers the catchpoles in ambush to set vpon mee .

Omnes Your father ? away Iacke . Iack. Dap.

By the tassels of this handkercher 't is true , and what was his warlicke stratageme thinke you ? hee thought because a wicker cage tames a nightingale , a lowsy prison could make an asse of mee .

Omnes A nasty plot . Iack. Dap.

I ; as though a Counter , which is a parke , in which all the wilde beasts of the Citty run head by head could tame mee .

Enter the Lord Noland . Moll . Yonder comes my Lord Noland . Omnes Saue you my Lord . L. Nol.

Well met Gentlemen all , good Sir Bewtious Ganymed , Sir Thomas Long ? , and how does Maister Dapper ?

Iack. Dap. Thankes my Lord . Mol. No Tobacco my Lord ? L. Nol No faith Iacke . Iack. Dap.

My Lord Noland will you goe to Pimlico with vs ? wee are making a boone voyage to that happy land of spice-cakes

L. Nol.

Heere s such a merry ging , I could find in my heart to saile to the worlds end with such company , come Gentlemen let 's on .

Iack. Dap. Here 's most amorous weather my Lord . Omnes Amorous weather . They walke . Iac. Dap. Is not amorous a good word ? Enter Trapdore like a poore Souldier with a patch o're one eie , and Teare-Cat with him , all tatters . Trap.

Shall we set vpon the infantry , these troopes of foot ? Zounds yonder comes Mol my whoorish Maister & Mistresse , would I had her kidneys betweene my teeth .

Tear-Cat . I had rather haue a cow heele . Trap.

Zounds I am so patcht vp , she cannot discouer mee : wee 'l on .

T. Cat. Alla corago then . Trap.

Good your Honours , and Worships , enlarge the eares of commiseration , and let the sound of a hoarse military organ-pipe , penetrate your pittiful bowels to extract out of them so many small drops of siluer , as may giue a hard strawbed lodging to a couple of maim'd souldiers .

Iacke Dap. Where are you maim'd ? T Cat. In both our neather limbs . Mol.

Come , come , Dapper , le ts giue 'em something , las poore men , what mony haue you ? by my troth I loue a souldier with my soule .

Sir Bewt. Stay , stay , where haue you seru'd ? T. Long . In any part of the Low countries ? Trap.

Not in the Low countries , if it please your manhood , but in Hungarie against the Turke at the siedge of Belgrad .

L. Nol. Who seru'd there with you sirra ? Trap.

Many Hungarians , Moldauians , Valachians , and Transiluanians , with some Sclauonians , and retyring home sir , the Venetian Gallies tooke vs prisoners , yet free'd vs , and suffered vs to beg vp and downe the country .

Iack. Dap. You haue ambled all ouer Italy then . Trap.

Oh sir , from Venice to Roma , Uecchio , Bononia , Romania , Bolonia , Modena , Piacenza , and Tuscana , with all her Cities , as Pistoia , Valteria , Mountepulchena , Arrezzo , with the Siennois , and diuerse others .

Mol. Meere rogues , put spurres to 'em once more . Iack. Dap.

Thou look'st like a strange creature , a fat butter-box , yet speak'st English ,

What art thou ? T. Cat. Ick mine Here . Ick bin den ruffling Teare-Cat . Den , braue Soldade , Ick bin dorick all Dutchlant . Gueresen : Der Shellum das meere Ine Beasa Ine woert gaeb . Ick slaag vin stroakes ou tom Cop . Dastick Den hundred touzun Diuell halle , Frollick miue Here . Sir Bewt. Here , here , let 's be rid of their iobbering , Moll .

Not a crosse Sir Bewtiout , you base rogues , I haue taken measure of you , better then a taylor can , and I 'le fit you , as you ( monster with one eie ) haue fitted mee ,

Trap. Your Worship will not abuse a souldier . Moll .

Souldier ? thou deseru'st to bee hang'd vp by that tongue which dishonours so noble a profession , souldier you skeldering varlet ? hold , stand , there should be a trapdore here abouts .

Pull off his patch Trap.

The balles of these glasiers of mine ( mine eyes ) shall be shot vp and downe in any hot peece of seruice for my inuincible Mistresse .

Iacke Dap.

I did not thinke there had bene such knauery in blacke patches as now I see .

Mol.

Oh sir he hath bene brought vp in the I le of dogges , and can both fawne like a Spaniell , and bite like a Mastiue , as hee finds occasion .

L. Nol. What are you sirra ? a bird of this feather too . T. Cat. A man beaten from the wars sir . T. Long . I thinke so , for you neuer stood to fight . Iac. Dap. What 's thy name fellow souldier ? T. Cat. I am cal'd by those that haue seen my valour , Tear-Cat . Omnes Teare-Cat ? Moll .

A meere whip-Iacke , and that is in the Common-wealth of rogues , a slaue , that can talke of sea-fight , name all your chiefe Pirats , discouer more countries to you , then either the Dutch , Spanish , French , or English euer found out , yet indeed all his seruice is by land , and that is to rob a Faire , or some such venturous exploit ; Teare-Cat , foot sirra I haue your name now I remember me in my booke of horners , hornes for the thumbe , you know how .

T. Cat.

No indeed Captaine Mol ( for I know you by sight ) I am no such nipping Christian , but a maunderer vpon the pad I confesse , and meeting with honest Trapdore here , whom you had cashierd from bearing armes , out at elbowes vnder your colours , I instructed him in the rudements of roguery , and by my map made him saile ouer any Country you can name , so that now he can maunder better then my selfe .

Iack. Dap. So then Trapdore thou art turn'd souldier now . Trap.

Alas sir , now there 's no warres , 't is the safest course of life I could take .

Mol.

I hope then you can cant , for by your cudgels , you sirra are an vpright man .

Trap. As any walkes the hygh way I assure you . Mol.

And Teare-Cat what are you ? a wilde rogue , an angler , or a ruffler ?

T. Cat.

Brother to this vpright man , flesh and bloud , ruffling Teare-Cat is my name , and a ruffler is my stile , my title , my profession .

Mol. Sirra where 's your Doxy , halt not with mee . Omnes Doxy Mol , what 's that ? Mol. His wench . Trap.

My doxy I haue by the Salomon a doxy , that carries a kitchin mort in her flat at her backe , besides my dell and my dainty wilde del , with all whom I 'le tumble this next darkmans in the strommel , and drinke ben baufe , and eate a fat gruntling cheate , a cackling cheate , and a quacking cheate .

Iack. Dap. Here 's old cheating . Trap.

My doxy stayes for me in a bousing ken , braue Captaine .

Mol.

Hee sayes his wench staies for him in an alehouse : you are no pure rogues .

T. Cat.

Pure rogues ? no , wee scorne to be pure rogues , but if you come to our lib ken , or our stalling ken , you shall finde neither him nor mee , a quire cuffin .

Mol. So sir , no churle of you . T. Cat. No , but a ben caue , a braue caue , a gentry cuffin . L. Nol. Call you this canting ? Iack. Dap.

Zounds , I 'le giue a schoolemaister halfe a crowne a week , and teach mee this pedlers French .

Trap.

Do but strowle sir , halfe a haruest with vs sir , and you shall gabble your belly-full .

Mol. Come you rogue cant with me . T. Long .

Well sayd Mol , cant with her sirra , and you shall haue mony , else not a penny .

Trap. I 'le haue a bout if she please . Mol. Come on sirra . Trap.

Ben mort , shall you and I heaue a booth , mill a ken or nip a bung , and then wee 'l couch a hogshead vnder the Ruffemans , and there you shall wap with me , & I le niggle with you .

Mol. Out you damn'd impudent rascall . Trap.

Cut benar whiddes , and hold your fambles and your stampes .

L Nol.

Nay , nay , Mol , why art thou angry ? what was his gibberish ?

Mol.

Marry this my Lord sayes hee ; Ben mort ( good wench ) shal you and I heaue a booth , mill a ken , or nip a bung ? shall you and I rob a house , or cut a purse ?

Omnes Very Good . ( mans : Mol. And then wee 'l couch a hogshead vnder the Ruffe - And then wee 'l lie vnder a hedge . Trap.

That was my desire Captaine , as 't is fit a souldier should lie .

Mol.

And there you shall wap with mee , and I 'le niggle with you , and that 's all .

Sir Bewt. Nay , nay Mol what 's that wap ? Iack. Dap.

Nay teach mee what niggling is , I 'de faine bee niggling .

Mol.

Wapping and niggling is all one , the rogue my man can tell you .

Trap. 'T is fadoodling : if it please you . Sir Bewt. This is excellent , one fit more good Moll , Mol. Come you rogue sing with me . A gage of ben Rom-bouse In a bousing ken of Rom-vile . T. Cat. Is Benar then a Caster , Pecke , pennam , lay or popler , Which we mill in deuse a vile . Oh I wud lib all the lightmans . The song . Oh I woud lib all the darkemans , By the sollamon vnder the Ruffemans . By the sollamon in the Hartmans . T. Cat. And scoure the Quire cramp ring , And couch till a pallyard docked my dell , So my bousy nab might skew rome bouse well Auast to the pad , let vs bing , Auast to the pad , let vs bing . Omnes Fine knaues i'faith . Iack. Dap.

The grating of ten new cart-wheeles , and the gruntling of fiue hundred hogs comming from Rumford market , cannot make a worse noyse then this canting language does in my eares ; pray my Lord Noland , let 's giue these souldiers their pay .

Sir Bewt. Agreed , and let them march . L. Nol. Heere Mol . Mol.

Now I see that you are stal'd to the rogue , and are not ashamed of your professions , looke you : my Lord Noland heere and these Gentlemen , bestowes vpon you two , two boordes and a halfe , that 's two shillings sixe pence .

Trap. Thankes to your Lordship . T. Cat. Thankes heroicall Captaine . Mol. Away . Trap.

Wee shall cut ben whiddes of your Maisters and Mistreship , wheresoeuer we come .

Moll . You 'l maintaine sirra the old Iustices plot to his face . Trap. Else trine me on the cheats : hang me . Mol. Be sure you meete mee there . Trap.

Without any more maundring I 'le doo 't , follow braue Tear-Cat .

Exeunt they two manet the rest . T. Cat. I prae , sequor , let vs go mouse . L. Nol. Mol what was in that canting song ? ( onely milke Mol. Troth my Lord , onely a praise of good drinke , the Which these wilde beasts loue to sucke , and thus it was : A rich cup of wine , oh it is iuyce Diuine , More wholesome for the head , : hen meate , drinke , or bread , To fill my drunken pate , with that , I 'de sit vp late , By the heeles wou'd I lie , vnder a lowsy hedge die , Let a slaue haue a pull at my whore , so I be full Of that precious liquor ; And a parcell of such stuffe my Lord Not worth the opening . Enter a Cutpurse very gallant , with foure or fiue men after him , one with a wand . L. Nol. What gallant comes yonder ? T. Long . Masse I thinke I know him , 't is one of Cumberland . 1 Cut.

Shall we venture to shuffle in amongst yon heap of Gallants , and strike ?

2 Cut.

'T is a question whether there bee any siluer shels amongst them , for all their sattin outsides .

Omnes Let 's try ? Mol.

Pox on him , a gallant ? shaddow mee , I know him : 't is one that cumbers the land indeed ; if hee swimme neere to the shore of any of your pockets , looke to your purses .

Omnes Is 't possible ? Mol. This braue fellow is no better then a foyst . Omnes . Foyst , what 's that ? Mol.

A diuer with two fingers , a picke-pocket ; all his traine study the figging law , that 's to say ; cutting of purses and foysting ; one of them is a nip , I tooke him once i' the twopenny gallery at the Fortune ; then there 's a cloyer , or snap , that dogges any new brother in that trade , and snappes will haue halfe in any booty ; Hee with the wand is both a stale , whose office is , to face a man i' the streetes , whil'st shels are drawne by an other , and then with his blacke coniuring rod in his hand , he by the nimblenesse of his eye and iugling sticke , will in cheaping a peece of plate at a goldsmithes stall , make foure or fiue ringes mount from the top of his caduceus , and as if it were at leape-frog , they skip into his hand presently .

2. Cut. Zounds wee are smoakt . Omnes . Ha ? 2. Cut.

Wee are boyl'd , pox on her ; see Moll the roaring drabbe .

1. Cut. All the diseases of sixteene hospitals boyle her : away . Mol. Blesse you sir . 1. Cut. And you good sir . Mol. Do'st not ken mee man ? 1. Cut. No trust mee sir . Mol.

Heart , there 's a Knight to whom I 'me bound for many fauours , lost his purse at the last new play i' the Swanne , seuen Angels in 't , make it good you 'r best ; do you see ? no more .

1. Cut.

A Sinagogue shall be cal'd Mistresse Mary , disgrace mee not ; pacus palabros , I will coniure for you , farewell :

Mol. Did not I tell you my Lord ? L. Nol.

I wonder how thou cam'st to the knowledge of these nasty villaines .

T. Long .

And why doe the foule mouthes of the world call thee Mol cutpursse ? a name , me thinkes , damn'd and odious .

Mol. Dare any step forth to my face and say , I haue tane thee doing so Mol ? I must confesse , In younger dayes , when I was apt to stray , I haue sat amongst such adders ; seene their stings , As any here might , and in full play-houses Watcht their quicke-diuing hands , to bring to shame Such rogues , and in that streame met an ill name : When next my Lord you spie any one of those , So hee bee in his Art a scholler , question him , Tempt him with gold to open the large booke Of his close villanies : and you your selfe shall cant Better then poore Mol can , and know more lawes Of cheaters , lifters , nips , foysts , puggards , curbers , Withall the diuels blacke guard , then it is fit Should be discouered to a noble wit . I know they haue their orders , offices , Circuits and circles , vnto which they are bound , To raise their owne damnation in . Iack. Dap. How do'st thou know it ? Moll . As you do , I shew it you , they to me show it . Suppose my Lord you were in Venice . L. Nol. Well . Mol. If some Italian pander there would tell All the close trickes of curtizans ; would not you Hearken to such a fellow ? L. Nol. Yes . Mol. And here , Being come from Uenice , to a friend most deare That were to trauell thither , you would proclaime Your knowledge in those villanies , to saue Your friend from their quicke danger : must you haue A blacke ill name , because ill things you know , Good troth my Lord , I am made Mol cut purse so . How many are whores , in small ruffes and still lookes ? How many chast , whose names fill slanders bookes ? Were all men cuckolds , whom gallants in their scornes Cal so , we should not walke for goring hornes , Perhaps for my madde going some reproue mee , I please my selfe , and care not else who loues mee . Omnes A braue minde Mol i'faith . T. Long . Come my Lord , shal 's to the Ordinary ? L. Nol. I , 't is noone sure . ( or to the world : Mol. Good my Lord , let not my name condemne me to you A fencer I hope may be cal'd a coward , is he so for that ? If all that haue ill names in London , were to be whipt , ( ther And to pay but twelue pence a peece to the beadle , I would ra - Haue his office , then a Constables . Iack. Dap.

So would I Captaine Moll : 't were a sweete tickling office i'faith .

Exeunt . Enter Sir Alexander Wengraue , Goshawke and Greenewit , and others . Alex. My sonne marry a theefe , that impudent girle , Whom all the world sticke their worst eyes vpon ? Greene . How will your care preuent it ? Gosh. 'T is impossible . They marry close , thei 'r gone , but none knowes whether . Alex. Oh Gentlemen , when ha's a fathers heart-strings Enter a seruant . Held out so long from breaking : now what newes sir ? Seruant . They were met vppo' th water an houre since , sir , Putting in towards the Sluce . Alex. The Sluce ? come Gentlemen , 'T is Lambith workes against vs . Greene .

And that Lambith , ioynes more mad matches , then your sixe wet townes , twixt that and Windsor-bridge , where fares lye soaking .

Alex. Delay no time sweete Gentlemen : to Blacke Fryars , Wee 'l take a paire of Oares and make after 'em . Enter Trapdore . Trap. Your sonne , and that bold masculine rampe My mistresse , are landed now at Tower . Alex. Hoyda , at Tower ? Trap. I heard it now reported . Alex. Which way Gentlemen shall I bestow my care ? I 'me drawne in peeces betwixt deceipt and shame . Enter sir Fitz-Allard . Fitz-Alla. Sir Alexander . You 'r well met , and most rightly serued , My daughter was a scorne to you . Alex. Say not so fir . Fitz-All. A very abiect , shee poore Gentlewoman , Your house had bene dishonoured . Giue you ioy sir , Of your sons Gaskoyne-Bride , you 'l be a Grandfather shortly To a fine crew of roaring sonnes and daughters , 'T will helpe to stocke the suburbes passing well sir . Alex. O play not with the miseries of my heart , Wounds should be drest and heal'd , not vext , or left Wide open , to the anguish of the patient , And scornefull aire let in : rather let pitty And aduise charitably helpe to refresh 'em . Fitz-All. Who 'd place his charity so vnworthily . Like one that giues almes to a cursing beggar , Had I but found one sparke of goodnesse in you Toward my deseruing child , which then grew fond Of your sonnes vertues , I had cased you now . But I perceiue both fire of youth and goodnesse , Are rak'd vp in the ashes of your age , Else no such shame should haue come neere your house , Nor such ignoble sorrowe touch your heart , Alex. If not for worth , for pitties sake assist mee . Greene . You vrge a thing past sense , how can he helpe you ? All his assistance is as fraile as ours , Full as vncertaine , where 's the place that holds 'em ? One brings vs water-newes ; then comes an other With a full charg'd mouth , like a culuerins voyce , And he reports the Tower ; whose sounds are truest ? Gosh. In vaine you flatter him sir Alexander . Fitz-All. I flatter him , Gentlemen you wrong mee grosly . Greene, Hee doe's it well i'faith . Fitz-All. Both newes are false , Of Tower or water : they tooke no such way yet . ( plundges ? Alex. Oh strange : heare you this Gentlemen , yet more Fiz-Alla.

Th' are neerer then you thinke for yet more close , then if they were further off .

Alex. How am I lost in these distractions ? Fitz-Alla. For your speeches Gentlemen , In taxing me for rashnesse ; fore you all , I will engage my state to halfe his wealth , Nay to his sonnes reuenewes , which are lesse , And yet nothing at all , till they come from him ; That I could ( if my will stucke to my power ) , Preuent this mariage yet , nay banish her For euer from his thoughts , much more his armes . Alex. Slacke not this goodnesse , though you heap vpon me Mountaines of malice and reuenge hereafter : I 'de willingly resigne vp halfe my state to him , So he would marry the meanest drudge I hire . Greene . Hee talkes impossibilites , and you beleeue 'em . Fitz-Alla. I talke no more , then I know how to finish , My fortunes else are his that dares stake with me , The poore young Gentleman I loue and pitty : And to keepe shame from him , ( because the spring Of his affection was my daughters first , Till his frowne blasted all , ) do but estate him In those possessions , which your loue and care Once pointed out for him , that he may haue roome , To entertaine fortunes of noble birth , Where now his desperate wants casts him vpon her : And if I do not for his owne sake chiefly , Rid him of this disease , that now growes on him , I 'le forfeit my whole state , before these Gentlemen . Greene . Troth but you shall not vndertake such matches , Wee 'l perswade so much with you . Alex. Heere 's my ring , He will beleeue this token : fore these Gentlemen , I will confirme it fully : all those lands , My first loue lotted him , he shall straight possesse In that refusall . Fitz-All. If I change it not , change mee into a beggar . Green . Are you mad sir ? Fitz-All. 'T is done . Gosh. Will you vndoe your selfe by doing , And shewe a prodigall tricke in your old daies ? Alex. 'T is a match Gentlemen . Fitz-All. I , I , sir I . I akse no fauour ; trust to you for none , My hope rests in the goodnesse of your son . Exit Fitz-Allard . Greene . Hee holds it vp well yet . Gosh. Of an old knight i'faith . Alex. Curst be the time , I laid his first loue barren , Wilfully barren , that before this houre Had sprung forth friutes , of comfort and of honour ; He lou'd a vertuous Gentlewoman . Enter Moll . Gosh. Life , heere 's Mol . Green . Iack . Gosh. How dost thou Iacke ? Mol. How dost thou Gallant ? Alex. Impudence , where 's my sonne ? Moll . Weakensse , go looke him . Alex. Is this your wedding gowne ? Mol. The man talkes monthly : Hot broth and a darke chamber for the knight , I see hee 'l be starke mad at our next meeting . Exit Moll Gosh. Why sir , take comfort now , there 's no such matter , No Priest will marry her , sir , for a woman , Whiles that shape 's on , and it was neuer knowne , Two men were married and conioyn'd in one : Your sonne hath made some shift to loue another . Alex. What ere ' she be , she has my blessing with her , May they be rich , and fruitfull , and receiue Like comfort to their issue , as I take in them , Ha's pleas'd me now , marrying not this , Through a whole world he could not chuse amisse . Green . Glad y' are so penitent , for your former sinne sir . Gosh. Say he should take a wench with her smocke-dowry , No portion with her , but her lips and armes ? Alex. Why ? who thriue better sir ? they haue most blessing , Though other haue more wealth , and least repent , Many that want most , know the most content . Greene . Say he should marry a kind youthfull sinner . Alex. Age will quench that , any offence but theft and drunkennesse Nothing but death can wipe away . , There sinnes are greene , euen when there heads are gray , Nay I dispaire not now , my heart 's cheer'd Gentlemen , No face can come vnfortunately to me , Now sir , your newes ? Enter a seruant . Seruant . Your sonne with his faire Bride is neere at hand , Alex. Faire may their fortunes be . Green . Now you 'r resolu'd sir , it was neuer she , Alex. I finde it in the musicke of my heart , Enter Mol maskt , in Sebastians hand , and Fitz-Allard . See where they come . Gosh. A proper lusty presence sir . Alex. Now has he pleas'd me right , I alwaies counseld him To choose a goodly personable creature , Iust of her pitch was my first wife his mother . Seb. Before I dare discouer my offence , I kneele for pardon . Alex ; My heart gaue it thee , before thy tongue could aske it , Rise , thou hast rais'd my ioy to greater height . Then to that seat where griefe deiected it , Both welcome to my loue , and care for euer , Hide not my happinesse too long , als pardoned , Here are our friends , salute her , Gentlemen . They vnmaske her . Omnes . Heart , who this Mol ? Alex. O my reuiuing shame , is 't I must liue , To be strucke blind , be it the worke of sorrow , Before age take 't in hand . Fitz-All. Darkenesse and death . Haue you deceau'd mee thus ? did I engage My whole estate for this . Alex. You askt no fauour , And you shall finde as little , since my comforts , Play false with me , I 'le be as cruell to thee As griefe to fathers hearts . Mol. Why what 's the matter with you ? Lesse too much ioy , should make your age forgetfull , Are you too well , too happy ? Alex. With a vengeance . Mol. Me thinkes you should be proud of such a daughter , As good a man , as your sonne . Alex. O monstrous impudence . Mol. You had no note before , an vnmarkt Kinght , Now all the towne will take regard on you , And all your enemies feare you for my sake , You may passe where you list , through crowdes most thicke , And come of brauely with your pursse vnpickt , You do not know the benefits I bring with mee , No cheate dares worke vpon you , with thumbe or knife , While y 'aue a roaring girle to your sonnes wife . Alex. A diuell rampant . Fitz-Alla. Haue you so much charity ? Yet to release mee of my last rash bargaine , And I 'le giue in your pledge . Alex. No sir , I stand to 't , I 'le worke vpon aduantage , As all mischiefes do vpon mee . Aitz-All. Content , beare witnesse all then His are the lands , and so contention ends . Here comes your sonnes Bride , twixt two noble friends . Enter the Lord Noland , and Sir Bewtious Ganymed , with Mary Fitz-Allard betweene them , the Cittizens and their wiues with them . Mol. Now are you gull'd as you would be , thanke me for 't , I 'de a fore-singer in 't . Seb. Forgiue mee father , Though there before your eyes my sorrow fain'd , This still was shee , for whom true loue complain'd . Alex. Blessings eternall , and the ioyes of Angels , Beginne your peace heere , to be sign'd in heauen , How short my sleepe of sorrow seemes now to me , To this eternity of boundlesse comforts , That finds no want but vtterance , and expression . My Lord your office heere appeares so honourably : So full of ancient goodnesse , grace , and worthinesse , I neuer tooke more ioy in sight of man , Then in your comfortable presence now . L. Nol. Nor I more delight in doing grace to vertue , Then in this worthy Gentlewoman , your sonnes Bride , Noble Fitz-Alards daughter , to whose honour And modest fame , I am a seruant vow'd , So is this Knight . Alex. Your loues make my ioyes proud , Bring foorth those deeds of land , my care layd ready , And which , old knight , thy noblenesse may challenge , Ioyn'd with thy daughters vertues , whom I prise now , As deerely as that flesh , I call myne owne . Forgiue me worthy Gentlewoman , 't was my blindnesse When I reiected thee , I saw thee not , Sorrow and wilfull rashnesse grew like filmes Ouer the eyes of iudgement , now so cleere I see the brightnesse of thy worth appeare . Mary . Duty and loue may I deserue in those , And all my wishes haue a perfect close , Alex. That tongue can neuer erre , the sound 's so sweete , Here honest sonne , receiue into thy hands , The keyes of wealth , possession of those lands , Which my first care prouided , thei 'r thine owne , Heauen giue thee a blessing with 'em , the best ioyes , That can in worldly shapes to man betide , Are fertill lands , and a faire fruitfull Bride , Of which I hope thou' rt sped . Seb. I hope so too sir . Mol. Father and sonne , I ha' done you simple seruice here , Seb. For which thou shalt not part Moll vnrequited . Alex.

Thou art a madd girle , and yet I cannot now condemne thee .

Mol. Condemne mee ? troth and you should sir , I 'de make you seeke out one to hang in my roome , I 'de giue you the slip at Gallowes , and cozen the people . Heard you this iest my Lord ? L. Nol. What is it Iacke ? Mol. He was in feare his sonne would marry mee , But neuer dreamt that I would nere agree . L. Nol. Why ? thou had'st a suiter once Iacke , when wilt marry ? Mol. Who I my Lord , I 'le tell you when ifaith , When you shall heare , Gallants voyd from Serieants feare , Honesty and truth vnslandred , Woman man'd , but neuer pandred , Cheates booted , but not coacht , Vessels older e're they 'r broacht . If my minde be then not varied , Next day following , I 'le be married . L. Nol. This sounds like domes-day , Moll . Then were marriage best , For if I should repent , I were soone at rest . Alex. Introth tho' art a good wench , I 'me sorry now , The opinion was so hard , I conceiu'd of thee . Some wrongs I 'ue done thee . Enter Trapdore . Trap. Is the winde there now ? 'T is time for mee to kneele and confesse first , For feare it come too late , and my braines feele it , Vpon my pawes , I aske you pardon mistresse . Mol.

Pardon ? for what sir ? what ha's your rogueship done now ?

Trap.

I haue bene from time to time hir'd to confound you , by this old Gentleman .

Mol. How ? Trap. Pray forgiue him , But may I connsell you , you should neuer doo 't . Many a snare to entrapp your Worships life , Haue I laid priuily , chaines , watches , Iewels , And when hee saw nothing could mount you vp , Foure hollow-hearted Angels he then gaue you , By which he meant to trap you , I to saue you . Alex. To all which , shame and griefe in me cry guilty , Forgiue mee now , I cast the worlds eyes from mee , And looke vpon thee freely with mine owne : I see the most of many wrongs before hee , Cast from the iawes of enuy and her people , And nothing foule but that , I l'e neuer more Condemne by common voyce , for that 's the whore , That deceiues mans opinion ; mockes his trust , Cozens his loue , and makes his heart vniust . Mol. Here be the Angels Gentlemen , they were giuen me As a Musitian , I pursue no pitty , Follow the law , and you can cucke mee , spare not Hang vp my vyall by me , and I care not . Alex. So farre I 'me sorry , I 'le thrice double 'em To make thy wrongs amends , Come worthy friends my honourable Lord , Sir Bewteous Ganymed , and Noble Fitz-Allard , And you kind Gentlewoman , whose sparkling presence , Are glories set in mariage , beames of society , For all your loues giue luster to my ioyes , The happinesse of this day shall be remembred , At the returne of euery smiling spring : In my time now 't is borne , and may no sadnesse Sit on the browes of men vpon that day , But as I am , so all goe pleas'd away .