ZEuxes béeing about to drawe the counterfet of Iuno , assembled all the Agrigentiue Maydes , whom after he pausing had viewed , he chose out ●●ue of the fayrest , that in their beautie , he might imitate what was most excellent : euen so it fareth with mee , who béeing about to anatomize Absurditie , am vrged to take a view of sundry mens vanitie , a suruey of their follie , a briefe of their barbarisme , to runne through Authors of the absurder sort , assembled in the Stacioners shop , sucking and selecting out of these vpstart antiquaries , somewhat of their vnsauery duncerie , meaning to note it with a Nigrum theta , that each one at the first sight may eschew it as infectious , to shewe it to the worlde that all men may shunne it . And euen as Macedon Phillip hauing finished his warres builded a Cittie for the worst sorte of men , which hee called 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , malorum Ciuitas , so I , hauing laide aside my grauer studies for a season , determined with my selfe béeing idle in the Countrey , to beginne in this vacation , the foundation of a trifling subiect , which might shroude in his leaues , the abusiue enormities of these our times . It fareth nowe a daies with vnlearned Idiots as it doth with she Asses , who bring foorth all their life long , euen so these brainlesse Bussards , are euery quarter bigge wyth one Pamphlet or other . But as an Egge that is full , beeing put in to water sinketh to the bottome , whereas that which is emptie floateth aboue , so those that are more exquisitly furnished with learning , shroude themselues in obscuritie , whereas they that voide of all knowledge , endeuour continually to publish theyr follie .

Such and the very same are they that obtrude themselues vnto vs , as the Authors of eloquence , and fountains of our finer phrases , when as they sette before vs , nought but a confused masse of wordes without matter , a Chaos of sentences without any profitable sence , resembling drummes , which béeing emptie with in , sound big without . Were it that any Morrall of greater moment , might be fished out of their fabulous follie , leauing theyr words , we would cleaue to their meaning , pretermitting their painted shewe , we woulde pry into their propounded sence , but when as lust is the tractate of so many leaues , and loue passions the lauish dispence of so much paper , I must needes sende such idle wits to shrift to the vicar of S. Fooles , who in stéede of a worker may be such a Gothamists ghostly Father . Might Ouids exile admonish such Idlebies to betake them to a new trade , the Presse should be farre better employed , Histories of antiquitie not halfe so much belyed , Minerals , stones , and herbes , should not haue such cogged natures and names ascribed to them with out cause , Englishmen shoulde not be halfe so much Italinated as they are , finallie , loue woulde obtaine the name of lust , and vice no longer maske vnder the visard of vertue .

Are they not ashamed in their pre●●●ed pos●es , to adorne a pretence of profit mixt with pleasure , when as in their bookes there is scarce to be found one precept pertaining to vertue , but whole quires fraught with amorous discourses , kindling Venus flame in Vulcans forge , carrying Cupid in tryumph , alluring euen vowed Vestals to treade awry , inchaunting chaste mindes , and corrupting the continenst . Hencefoorth , let them alter their pos●es of profit with intermingled pleasure , inserting that of Ouid in steed .

So shall the discreet Reader vnderstand the contents by the title , and their purpose by their posie , what els I pray you doe these bable bookemungers endeuor , but to repaire the 〈◊〉 wals of Venus Court , to restore to the worlde , that forgotten Legendary licence of lying , to imitate a fresh the fantasticall dreames of those exiled Abbie-lubbers , from whose idle pens , procéeded those worne out impressions of the feyned no where acts , of Arthur of the rounde table , Arthur of litle Brittaine , sir Tristram , Hewon of Burbeaux , the Squire of 〈…〉 , the foure sons of Amon , with infinite others . It is not of my yeeres nor studie to censure these mens foolerie more 〈◊〉 , but to shew how they to no Common-wealth 〈◊〉 , tosse ouer their troubled imaginations to haue the praise of the learning which they lack . Many of them to be more amiable with their friends of the Feminine sexe , blot many sheetes of paper in the blazing of Womens slender praises , as though in that generation there raigned and alwaies remained such singuler simplicitie , that all posterities should be enioyned by duetie , to fill and furnish theyr Temples , nay Townes and streetes , with the shrines of she Saints . Neuer remembring , that as there was a loyall Lucretia , so there was a light a loue Lais , that as there was a modest Medullina , so there was a mischiuous Medea , that as there was a stedfast Timoclea , so there was a trayterous Tarpeya , that as there was a sober Sulpitia , so there was a deceitful Scylla , that as there was a chast Claudia , so there was a wanton Clodia .

But perhaps Women assembling their senate , will seeke to stop my mouth by most voices , and as though there were more better then bad in the bunch , will obiect vnto me Atlanta , Architumna , Hippo , Sophronia , Leaena , to these I will oppose proude Antigone , Niobe , Circe , Flora , Rhodope , the despightfull daughters of Danaus , Biblis , and Canace , who fell in loue , with their owne Brothers , Mirrha with her own Father , Semiramis with her own sonne , Phaedra with Hippolitus , Venus inconstancie , Iunos iealous●e , the riotous wantonnesse of Pasiphae , with whom I wil knit vp this packet of Paramours . To this might be ad●ed Mantuans inuectiue against them , but that pittie makes me refraine from renewing his worne out complaints , the wounds wherof the former forepast feminine sexe hath felt . I but here the Homer of Women hath forestalled an obiection , saying , that Mantuans house holding of our Ladie , he was enforced by melancholie into such vehemencie of speech , and that there be amongst them as amongst men , some good , some badde , but then let vs heare what was the opinion of ancient Philosophers , as touching the Femall sexe .

One of them beeing asked what estate that was , which made wise men fooles , and fooles wisemen , answered marriage . Aristotle doth counsell vs , rather to gette a little wife then a great , because alwaies a little euill is better then a great , so that hee counted all women without exception , euill and vngratious . Another of them béeing asked what was the greatest miracle in the world , saide , a chaste woman . One requiring Diogenes iudgment when it was best time to take a wife , answered , for the young man not yet , and the olde man neuer . Pythagoras sayd , that there were thrée euils not to be suffered , fire , water , and a woman . And the forenamed Cinick déemed them the wisest lyers in the world , which tell folke they will be married , and yet remaine single , accounting it the lesse inconuenience of two extremities to choose the lesse . The selfe same man affirmeth it to be the only means to escape all euils , to eschew womens counsaile , and not to square our actions by their direction . The olde Sages did admonish young men , if euer they matcht wyth any wife , not to take a rich Wife , because if she be rich , shee wyll not be content to be a wife , but will be a Maister or Mistresse , in commaunding , chiding , correcting & controlling . Another Philosopher compared a woman richly apparelled , to a dunghill couered with grasse . Socrates deemed it the desperatest enterprise that one can take in hand , to gouerne a womans will .

What shall I say of him that béeing askt , from what women a man should keepe himselfe , answered , from the quick & from the deade , adding moreouer , that one euill ioynes with another when a woman is sicke . Demosthenes saide , that it was the greatest torment , that a man could inuent to his enemies vexation , to giue him his daughter in marriage , as a domesticall Furie to disquiet him night and day . Democritus accounted a faire chaste woman a miracle of miracles , a degrée of immortality , a crowne of tryumph , because shee is so harde to be founde . Another beeing asked , who was he that coulde not at any time be without a wife , answered , hee that was alwaies accurst : and what dooth thys common prouerbe , he that marrieth late marrieth euill , insinuate vnto vs , but that if a man meane to marry , he were as good , begin betimes as tarry long , and béeing about to make a vertue of necessitie , and an arte of patience , they are to beginne in theyr young and tender age . Moreouer , amongst the thinges which change the nature and conditions of men , women and wine are sette in the forefront , as the chiefe causes of their calamitie .

Plutarch in his precepts of wedlocke , alleageth a reason why men faile so often in choosing of a good wife , because saith hee , the number of them is so small . There be two especiall troubles in this worlde saith Seneca , a wife and ignoraunce . Marcus Aurelius compared women to shyps , because to keepe them wel and in order , there is alwayes somewhat wanting : and Plautus saith , that women decke themselues so gorgiously , and lace themselues so nicely , because foule deformed things , seeke to sette out themselues sooner , then those creatures that are for beauty far more amiable . For my part I meane to suspende my sentence , and to let an Author of late memorie be my speaker , who affyrmeth that they carrie Angels in their faces to entangle men and deuils in their deuices . Valerius in Epist. ad Ruf. hath these words of womens trecherous works , Amice ne longo dispendio te suspendam , lege aureolum Theophrasti , & Medeam Iasonis , & vix pauca inuenies impossibilia mulieri , Amice det tibi Deus omnipotens faeminae fallacia non falli . My friend , least I should holde thee too long with too tedious a circumstaunce , reade but the golden Booke of Theophrastus , and Iasons Medea , and thou shalt finde fewe things impossible for a woman , My sweet friende , GOD Almightie graunt that thou beest not entrapt by womens trecherie . Furthermore , in the same place he saith , Quis muliebr● garrulitati aliquid committit , quae illud solum potest tacere quod nescit : who will commit any thing to a womans tatling trust , who conceales nothing but that shee knowes not . I omit to tell with what phrases of disgrace the ancient fathers haue defaced them , wherof one of them saith : Quid aliud est mulier nisi amicitiae inimica &c. What is a woman , but an enemie to friendshippe , an vneuitable paine , a necessary euil , a naturall temptation , a desired calamitie , a domesticall danger , a delectable detriment , the nature of the which is euill shadowed with the coloure of goodnes . Therefore if to put her a way be a sinne , to keepe her still must needes be a torment . Another sayth : Illud aduerte quod extra paradisum vir factus est &c. Consider this , that man was made without Paradise , woman within Paradise , that thereby we may learne , that euery one winneth not credit by the nobilitie of the place , or of his stock , but by his vertue . Finally , man made better is found without Paradise in a place inferior , and contrariwise , she which was created in a better place , namely Paradise , is founde to be worser . Another hath these words : Diligit mulier vt ●ap●a● , Accipit vt rapiat : amat quod habes , non quod es . A woman loues that she may entrappe , shee deceiues that she may spoyle , she loues that thou hast , not that thou art . Another writeth after thys manner : Nulla est vxoris electio , &c. There is no choise to be had of a wife , but euen as she comes so we must take her : if teatish , if foolish , if deformed , if proude , if stinking breathed , or whatsoeuer other fault she hath , we know not till we be married : A Horse , an Oxe , or an Asse , or a dogge , or what soeuer other vile merchandise , are first prooued , and then bought , a mans wife alone is neuer throughly seene before , least shee dysplease , before she be married . Viros ad vnumquodque maleficium singulae cupiditates impellunt ( saith Tully , ) mulieres ad omnia maleficia cupiditas vna ducit : muliebrium enim vitiorum omnium fundamentum est auaritia . Mens seuerall desires doe egge them to each kind of euill , but one onely affection leades women to all kind of wickednes : for couetousnesse is the foundation of all womens euill inclinations . Seneca also saith thus in his Prouerbs : Aut amat , aut odit mulier , nil tertium est , dediscere flere faminam , mendacium est , &c. A woman either loues , or hates , there is no third thing : it is an vntruth to say , that a woman can learne to forget to weepe : two kinde of teares are common in their eyes , the one of true sorrowe , the other of deceipt : a Woman meditates euill when she is musing alone .

Thus you sée hawe farre their wickednes , hath made Authors to wade with inuectiues in their dispraise , wherefore I shall not need to vrge their inconstancie more vehemently , resembling them to Battus , who was wonne with a Cowe , and lost with a Bull : nor stand to repeate that of Plato , who doubted whether he shold put women among reasonable or vnreasonable creatures , who also gaue thanks to Nature especiallie for three things , whereof the first and cheefest was , that shee had made him a man and not a woman . I omitte that of Aristotle , who alleaging the inconueniencie of too timely marriages , expresseth this as the especial incommoditie , that it is the Author of superfluities , & good for nothing but to fill the world with women . Reade ouer all Homer , and you shall neuer almost sée him bring in Iuno , but brawling and iarring with Iupiter , noting therby what an yrkesome kind of people they are . In some Countries therefore , the Bride at the day of her mariage , is crowned by the Matrons with a Garland of prickles , and so deliuered to her husband , that he may know he hath tyed himselfe to a thornie pleasure . The Massagets told Pompey they lay with their wiues but once a weeke , because they wold not heare their scoldings in the day , nor their pulings in the night .

But what should I spend my y●cke , waste my paper , stub my penne , in painting forth theyr vgly imperfections , and peruerse péeuishnesse ▪ when as howe many hayres they haue on their heads , so many snares they will find for a néede to snarle men in , how many voices all of them haue , so many vices each one of them hath , how many tongues , so many tales , how many eyes , so many allurements . What shall I say ? They haue more shyfts then Ioue had sundry shapes , who in the shape of a Satyre inueigled Antiope , tooke Amphitrios forme , when on Alcmena he begat Hercules , to Danae he came in a showre of gold , to Laeda in the likenes of a Swan , to Io like a Heyfer ▪ to Aegiue like a flame , to Mnemosyue like a Sheephearde , to Proserpina like a Serpent , to Pasiphae like a Bull , to the Nimph Nonacris in the likenes of Apollo . For crueltie they seeme more terrible then Tygers , was not Orpheus the excellentest Musition in any memory , torne in peeces by Women , because for sorrow of his wife Euridice , he did not onelie himselfe refuse the loue of many women , and liued a sole life , but also disswaded from their company . Did not mercilesse Minerua , turne the hayres of Medusa , whom shée hated into hyssing Adders . Therefore sée how farre they swerve from theyr purpose , who with Greene colours , seeke to garnish such Gorgonlike shapes . Is not witchcraft especially vpholden by women : whither men or women be more prone vnto carnall concupiscence , I referre them to Thebane Tyresias , who gaue iudgment against them long agoe , what their impudencie is , let Antiquitie be Arbiter . Did not Calphernias impudencie , ( who was so importunate and vnreasonable in pleading her owne cause ) giue occasion of a Law to be made , that neuer woman after shoulde openly pleade her owne cause in Courtes of iudgment .

Sabina may be a glasse for them to sée their pride in , who vsually bathed herselfe in the milke of fiue hundred Asses , to preserue her beauty . Galeria also that gallant Dame , which scorned the golden Pallace of the Emperour Nero , as not curious inough to shroude her beauty , yea Cleopatra according to Xiphilinus iudgment , was not slaine with venimous Snakes , but with the bodkin that she curled her hayre . To conclude , what pride haue they left vnpractised , what enticement to lust haue they not tried ?

Did they imagine that beautie to be most commendable ▪ which is least coloured , and that face most faire , which seldommest comes into the open ayre , they would neuer set out them selues to be seene , ne yet woulde they couet to leaue impressions of their beauties in other mens bodies , nor the forme of their faces in other mens fancies . But women through want of wisedome are growne to such wantonnesse , that vppon no occasion they will crosse the stréete , to haue a glaunce of some Gallant , deeming that men by one looke of them , shoulde be in loue with them , and will not stick to make an errant ouer the way , to purchase a Paramour to helpe at a pinche , who vnder her husbands , that hoddy-péekes nose , must haue all the destilling dew of his delicate Rose , leauing him onely a swéet sent , good inough for such a sencelesse sotte .

It was a custome in Greece , that euery married woman , as soone as she was betrothed to her husbande , shoulde touche fire and water , that as the fire purgeth & purifieth al thinges , and the water is cleane , and of nature fitte to clarifie euerie part of the body , and to sette the face free from any spot , except it be an Ethiopian blot , so she would reserue herselfe chaste and vndefiled to her husband her head . In Boetia they will not suffer a new married wife at first to goe ouer the thresholde , because she should seeme vnwilling to enter in there , where shée should leaue and lay aside her chastitie . In the same place also they burne the Axletrée of a Cart before the doore of the bryde , after she is married , signifying that she ought not to gadde abroade , as though that were remooued which might mooue her to make any errants vnto any other place .

In Rome the bride was wont to come in with her spyndle and her distaffe at her side , at the day of her mariage , and her husband crowned and compassed the Gates with her yarne , but now adaies Towe is either too déere or too daintie , so that if hee will maintaine the custome , hee must crowne his Gates with their Scarfes , Periwigs , Bracelets , and Duches , which imports thus much vnto vs , that Maides and Matrons now adaies be more charie of their store , so that they will be sure they will not spend too much spittle with spynning , yea theyr needles are nettles , for they lay them aside as needlesse , for feare of pricking their fingers , when they are painting theyr faces , nay they will abandon that 〈◊〉 which may stay them at home , but if the temperature of the wether will not permitte them to pop into the open ayre , a payre of cardes better pleas●th her than a peece of cloth ▪ her beades then her booke , a bowle full of wine then a handfull of wooll , delighting more in a daunce then in Dauids Psalmes , to play with her dogge then to pray to her God : ●●tting more by a loue Letter , then the lawe of the Lord , by one Pearl● then twenty Pater nosters . Shee had rather view her face a whole morning in a looking Glasse , then worke by the howre Glasse , shee is more sparing of her Spanish needle then her Spanish gloues , occupies oftner her sett●●g sticke then shee●es , and ioyes more in her Iewels , then in her Iesus .

Is this correspondent to the modestie of Maydens , and the maners of Matrons , nay , rather it seemes that law is turned to libertie , and honest ciuilitie into impudent shamefastnes . Antient antiquitie was woont to bee such a stoycall obseruer of continencie , that women were not permitted so much as to kisse their Kinsmen , till the Troyan D●mes first attempted it in 〈◊〉 , for when as by the force of tempestious stormes they were cast vpon the Italian Coaste , and each man landed vpon whom the salt sea ●ome had not seased , the Women beeing wearie of theyr yrkesome trauaile and long and tedious t●yle , abhorring the sight of the Seas , set the shyps on a light fire , by reason of the which deed , they dreading the displeasure of their Husbandes , ran euery one to their Kinsman , kissing most kindly , and embracing most amiably euery one that they mette : from that time forth to this present , it hath béene taken vp for a custome , not to be sparing in that kind of curtesie .

But now craftie Cupid practising the wonted sleights and shuf●ing his shaf●s , meditates new shifts , which each amorous Courtier by his veneriall experience may coniecturallie conceiue . Menelaus hospitalitie mooued young Paris to adulterie . I say no more you knowe the rest , the wiser can apply it . Well woorthy are the Essenians to be extolled for their wysedome , who abhorre the company of W●men , and det●st the possession of gold and siluer , and they to be déemed as soothing flatterers , who spende so much paper about a proposition of praise , sette apart from any apparance of probabilitie . Peraduenture they thinke , that as the Poets inuent that Atlas vpholds the Heauens with his shoulders , because by an excellent imagination he found out the course of the stars , euen so they by compiling of Pamphlets in their Mistresse praises , to be called the restorers of womankind . But idle heads are vsually occupied about such trifling texts , wanton wits are combred with those wonted fittes , such busie braines sowe where they reape small gaines . When witte giues place to will , and ●●ason to affection , then follie with full saile launcheth foorth most desperatlie into the deepe . Did they consider that that prayse is onely priuiledged in wise mens opinion , which onely proceedes from the penne of the praysed , they would haue paused a while vpon the worthlesse imputation of such prodigall commendation , and consulted for their credit in the composition of some other more profi●able contrary subiect .

I leaue these in their solli , and hasten to other mens furie , who make the Presse the dunghill , whether they carry all the muck of their mellancholicke imaginations , pretending forsooth to anatomize abuses , and stubbe vp ●in by the rootes , when as there waste paper beeing wel viewed , seemes fraught with nought els saue dogge daies effects , who wresting places of Scripture against pride , whoredome , couetousnes , gluttonie , and drunkennesse , extend their in●●●tiues so farre against the abuse , that almost the things remaines not whereof they admitte anie lawfull vse . Speaking of pride , as though they were afraid some body should cut too large peniworthes out of their cloth : of couetousnes , as though in them that Prouerbe had beene verified , Nullus ad amissas ibit amicus opes : of gluttonie , as though their liuing did lye vppon another mans trencher : of drunkennesse , as though they had beene brought vppe all the dayes of their life with bread and water : and finally of whoredome , as though they had beene Eunuches from theyr cradle , or blind from the howre of their conception . But as the Stage player is nere the happier , because hee represents oft times the persons of mightie men , as of Kings & Emperours , so I account such men neuer the holier , because they place praise in painting foorth other mens imperfections .

These men resemble Trees , which are wont eftsoones to die , if they be fruitfull beyond their wont , euen so they to die in vertue , if they once ouer shoote themselues too much wyth inueighing against vice , to be brainesicke in workes if they be too fruitfull in words . And euen as the Uultures slay nothing themselues , but pray vpon the which of other is slayne , so these men inueigh against no new vice , which héeretofore by the censures of the learned hath not beene sharply condemned , but teare that peecemeale wise , which long since by ancient wryters was wounded to the death , so that out of their forepassed paines , ariseth their Pamphlets , out of their volumes , theyr inuectiues . Good God , that those that neuer tasted of any thing saue the excrements of Artes , whose thredde-bare knowledge béeing bought at the second hand , is spotted , blemished , and defaced , through translaters rigorous rude dealing , shoulde preferre their sluttered sutes , before other mens glittering gorgious array , should offer them water out of a muddie pit , who haue continually recourse to the Fountaine , or dregs to drink , who haue wine to sell. At scire tuum nihil est , nisi te scire hoc sciat alter . Thy knowledge bootes thée not a button , except another knowes that thou hast this knowledge . Anacharsis was wont to say , that the Athenians vsed money to no other ende but to tell it , euen so these men make no other vse of learning , but to shewe it . But as the Panther smelleth sweetelie but onely to brute beastes , which shee draweth vnto her to theyr destruction , not to men in like maner , so these men seeme learned to none but to Idiots , whom with a coloured shew of zeale , they allure vnto them to their illusion , and not to the learned in like sort . I know not howe it delighteth them to put theyr Dare in another mans boate , and their foote in another mans boote , to incurre that prouerbiall checke , Ne sutor vltra crepidam , or that oratoricall taunt , Quam quisque norit artem in ea se exerceat : with the Elephant to wade and wallowe in the shallow water , when they woulde sooner sincke then swym in the deepe Riuer , to be conuersant in those Authors which they cannot vnderstande , but by the translatour their Interpreter , to vaunte reading when the sum of their diuinitie consists in twopennie Catichismes : and yet their ignoraunt zeale wyll presumptuously presse into the Presse , enquiring most curiouslie into euery corner of the Common wealth , correcting that sinne in others , wherwith they are corrupted themselues . To prescribe rules of life , belongeth not to the ruder sorte , to condemne those callings which are approoued by publique authoritie , argueth a proude contempt of the Magistrates superiority . Protogenes knew Apelles by one lyne , neuer otherwise séene , and you may knowe these mens spirit by theyr speeche , their minds by their medling , their folly by their phrase . Uiew their workes , and know their vanitie , sée the Bookes bearing their name , and smile in thy sleeue at their shame . A small ship in a shallow Riuer , séemes a huge thing , but in the sea a very litle vessell , euen so each trifling Pamphlet to the simpler sorte , a most substantiall subiect , whereof the wiser lightly account , and the learned laughing contemne . Therefore more earnestly I agrauate their faulte , because their crime is crept into credit , and their dooinges déemed deuotion , when as purposelie to some mans despight , they bring into act their cholericke motions .

A common practise it is now adaies , which breedes our common calamitie , that the cloake of zeale , shoulde be vnto an hypocrite in steed of a coate of Maile , a pretence of puritie , a pentisse for iniquitie , a glose of godlines , a couert for all naughtines . When men shall publiquelie make profession of a more inward calling , and shall waxe cold in the workes of charitie , and seruent in malice , liberall in nothing but in lauishe backbyting , holding hospitalitie for an eschewed heresie , and the performance of good workes for Papistrie , may wee not then haue recourse to that caueat of Christ in the Gospell , Cauete ab hipocritis . It is not the writhing of the face , the heauing vpp● of the eyes to heauen , that shall keepe these men , from hauing their portion in hell . Might they be saued by their booke , they haue the Bible alwaies in their bosome , and so had the Pharisies the Lawe embroidered in their garments . Might the name of the Church infeasse them in the kingdom of Christ , they will include it onely in their couenticles , and bounde it euen in Barnes , which many times they make their méeting place , and will shameleslie face men out , that they are the Church millitant heere vpon earth , when as they rather séeme a company of Malecontents , vnworthy to breath on the earth . Might the boast of the spirit pind to their s●e●ues , make them elect before all other , they will make men beléeue , they doe nothing whereto the spirit dooth not perswade them , and what Heretiques were there euer that did not arrogate as much to themselues . These they be that publiquely pretende a more regenerate holines , béeing in their priuate Chambers the expresse imitation of Howliglasse . It is too tedious to the Reader , to attend the circumstaunce of their seuerall shyftes , the lothsomnesse of their guilefull wiles , the tract path of theyr treacherie : you know them without my discourse , and can describe their hypocrisie , though I be not the Notarie of their iniquitie . Séeing their works , shun theyr waies .

Another sort of men there are , who though not addicted to such counterfet curiositie , yet are they infected with a farther improbabilitie , challenging knowledge vnto themselues of deeper misteries , when as with Thales Milesius they sée not what is vnder their féete , searching more curiouslie into the secrets of nature , when as in respect of déeper knowledge , they seeme meere naturals , coueting with the Phaenix to approche so nye to the sunne , that they are scorcht with his beames , and confounded with his brightnes . Who made them so priuie to the secrets of the Almightie , that they should foretell the tokens of his wrath , or terminate the time of his vengeaunce . But lightly some newes attends the ende of euery Tearme , some Monsters are bookt , though not bred against vacation times , which are straight waie diuersly dispearst into euerie quarter , so that at length they become the Alehouse talke of euery Carter : yea the Country Plowman feareth a Calabrian floodde in the midst of a furrowe , and the sillie Sheephearde committing his wandering sheepe to the custodie of his wappe , in his field naps , dreameth of flying Dragons , which for feare least he should see to the losse of his sight , he falleth a sleepe , no star he seeth in the night but séemeth a Comet , hee lighteth no sooner on a quagmyre , but he thinketh this is the foretold Earthquake wherof his boy hath the Ballet .

Thus are the ignorant deluded , the simple misused , and the sacred Science of Astronomie discredited , & in truth what leasings will not make-shyfts inuent for money ? What wyl they not faine for gaine ? Hence come our babling Ballets , and our new found Songs and Sonets , which euery rednose Fidler hath at his fingers end , and euery ignorant Ale knight will breath foorth ouer the potte , as soone as his braine waxeth hote . Be it a truth which they would tune , they enterlace it with a lye or two to make meeter , not regarding veritie , so they may make vppe the verse , not vnlike to Homer , who cared not what he fained , so hee might make his Countrimen famous . But as the straightest things béeing put into water , séeme crooked , so the crediblest trothes , if once they come with in compasse of these mens wits , seeme tales . Were it that the infamie of their ignoraunce , did redound onelie vppon themselues , I could be content to apply my spéech otherwise , then to their Apuleyan eares , but sith they obtaine the name of our English Poets , and thereby make men thinke more baselie of the wittes of our Countrey , I cannot but turne them out of their counterfet liuerie , and brand them in the foreheade , that all men may know their falshood . Well may that saying of Campanus be applyed to our English Poets , which hee spake of them in his time : They make ( saith he ) Poetry an occupation , lying is their lyuing , and fables are their mooueables , if thou takest away trifles , ●illie soules they will famish for hunger . It were to be wished , that the acts of the ventrous , and the praise of the vertuous were by publique Edict prohibited , by such mens merry mouthes to be so odiouslie extolde , as rather breedes detestation then admiration , lothing then lyking . What politique Counsailour or valiant Souldier will ioy or glorie of this , in that some stitcher , Weauer , spendthrist , or Fidler , hath shuffled or slubberd vp a few ragged Rimes , 〈◊〉 the memoriall of the ones prudence , or the others prowesse . It makes the learned sort to be silent , when as they sée vnlearned sots so insolent .