Summer's Last Will and Testament

SVMMERS last will and Testament . Enter Will Summers in his fooles coate but halfe on , comming out .

NOctem peccatis , & fraudibus obiice nubem . There is no such fine time to play the knaue in , as the night . I am a Goose or a Ghost at least ; for what with turmoyle of getting my fooles apparell , and care of being perfit , I am sure I haue not yet supt to night . Will Summers Ghost I should be , come to present you with Summers last will , and Testament . Be it so , if my cousin Ned will lend me his Chayne and his Fiddle . Other stately pac't Prologues vse to attire themselues within : I that haue a toy in my head , more then ordinary , and vse to goe without money , without garters , without girdle , without a hat-band , without poynts to my hose , without a knife to my dinner , and make so much vse of this word without , in euery thing , will here dresse me without . Dick Huntley cryes , Begin , begin : and all the whole house , For shame come away ; when I had my things but now brought me out of the Lawndry . God forgiue me , I did not see my Lord before . I le set a good face on it , as though what I had talkt idly all this while , were my part . So it is , boni viri , that one foole presents another ; and I a foole by nature , and by arte , do speake to you in the person of the Idiot our Play-maker . He like a Foppe & an Asse , must be making himselfe a publike laughing stock , & haue no thanke for his labor ; where other Magisterij , whose inuention is farre more exquisite , are content to sit still , and doe nothing . I le shewe you what a scuruy Prologue he had made me in an old vayne of similitudes : if you bee good fellowes , giue it the hearing , that you may iudge of him thereafter .

The Prologue .

AT a solemne feast of the Triumuiri in Rome , it was seene and obserued , that the birds ceased to sing , & sate solitarie on the house tops , by reason of the sight of a paynted Serpent set openly to view . So fares it with vs nouices , that here betray our imperfections : we , afraid to looke on the imaginary serpent of Enuy , paynted in mens affections , haue ceased to tune any musike of mirth to your eares this tweluemonth , thinking , that as it is the nature of the serpent to hisse : so childhood and ignorance would play the goslings , contemning , and condemning what they vnderstood not . Their censures we wey not , whose sences are not yet vnswadled . The little minutes will be continually striking , though no man regard them . Whelpes will barke , before they can see , and striue to byte , before they haue teeth . Politianus speaketh of a beast , who , while hee is cut on the table , drinketh , and represents the motions & voyces of a liuing creature . Such like foolish beasts are we , who , whilest we are cut , mocked , & flowted at , in euery mans common talke , will notwithstanding proceed to shame our selues , to make sport . No man pleaseth all , we seeke to please one . Didymus wrote foure thousand bookes , or as some say , six thousand , of the arte of Grammar . Our Authour hopes , it may be as lawfull for him to write a thousand lines of as light a subiect . Socrates ( whom the Oracle pronounced the wisest man of Greece ) sometimes daunced . Scipio and Lelius by the sea-side played at peeble-stone . Semel insaniuimus omnes . Euery man cannot , with Archimedes , make a heauen of brasse , or dig gold out of the iron mynes of the lawe . Such odde trifles , as Mathematicians experiments be , Artificiall flyes to hang in the ayre by themselues , daunsing balles , an egge-shell that shall clyme vp to the top of a speare , fiery breathing goares , Poetae noster professeth not to make . Placeat sibi quisque heebit . What 's a foole but his bable ? Deepe reaching wits , heere is no deepe streame for you to angle in . Moralizers , you that wrest a neuer meant meaning , out of euery thing , applying all things to the present time , keepe your attention for the common Stage : for here are no quips in Characters for you to reade . Vayne glozers , gather what you will . Spite , spell backwards , what thou canst . As the Parthians fight , flying away : so will wee prate and talke , but stand to nothing that we say .

How say you , my masters , doe you not laugh at him for a Coxcombe ? Why , he hath made a Prologue longer then his Play : nay , 't is no Play neyther , but a shewe . I le be sworne , the figge of Rowlands God-sonne , is a Gyant in comparison of it . What can be made of Summers last will & Testament ? Such another thing , as Cyllian of Braynfords will , where shee bequeathed a score of farts amongst her friends . Forsooth , because the plague raignes in most places in this latter end of summer , Summer must come in sicke : he must call his officers to account , yeeld his throne to Autumne , make Winter his Executour , with tittle tattle Tom boy : God giue you good night in Watling street . I care not what I say now : for I play no more then you heare ; & some of that you heard to ( by your leaue ) was extempore . He were as good haue let me had the best part : for I le be reueng'd on him to the vttermost , in this person of Will Summer , which I haue put on to play the Prologue , and meane not to put off , till the play be done . I le sit as a Chorus , and flowte the Actors and him at the end of euery Sceane : I know they will not interrupt me , for feare of marring of all : but looke to your cues , my masters ; for I intend to play the knaue in cue , and put you besides all your parts , if you take not the better heede . Actors , you Rogues , come away , cleare your throats , blowe your noses , and wype your mouthes e're you enter , that you may take no occasion to spit or to cough , when you are non plus . And this I barre ouer and besides , That none of you stroake your beardes , to make action , play with your cod-piece poynts , or stand fumbling on your buttom , when you know not how to bestow your fingers . Serue God , and act cleanly ; a fit of mirth , and an old song first , if you will .

Enter Summer , leaning on Autumnes and Winters shoulders , and attended on with a trayne of Satyrs , and wood-Nymphs , singing . Fayre Summer droops , droope men and beasts therefore : So fayre a summer looke for neuer more . All good things vanish , lesse then in a day , Peace , plenty , pleasure sodainely decay . Goe not yet away bright soule of the sad yeare . The earth is hell , when thou lean'st to appeare . What , shall those flowres that deckt thy garland erst , Vpon thy graue be wastfully disperst ? O trees , consume your sap in sorrowes sourse . Streames , turne to teares your tributary course . Goe not yet hence , bright soule of the sad yeare . The earth is hell , when thou leau'st to appeare . The Satyrs and wood-Nymphs goe out singing , and leaue Summer and Winter and Autumne on the stage . Will. Summer .

A couple of pratty boyes , if they would wash their faces , and were well breecht an houre or two . The rest of the greene men haue reasonable voyces , good to sing catches , or the great Iowben by the fires side , in a winters euening . But let vs heare what Summer can say for himselfe , why hee should not be hist at .

Summer . What pleasure alway lasts : no ioy endures : Summer I was , I am not as I was : Haruest and age haue whit'ned my greene head : On Autumne now and Winter must I leane . Needs must he fall , whom none but foes vphold . Thus must the happiest man haue his blacke day . Omnibus vna manes nox , & calcanda semel via laethi . This month haue I layne languishing a bed , Looking eche houre to yeeld my life , and throne ; And dyde I had in deed vnto the earth , But that Eliza Englands beauteous Queene , On whom all seasons prosperously attend , Forbad the execution of my fate , Vntill her ioyfull progresse was expir'd . For her doth Summer liue , and linger here , And wisheth long to liue to her content : But wishes are not had when they wish well . I must depart , my death-day is set downe : To these two must I leaue my wheaten crowne . So vnto vnthrifts rich men leaue their lands , Who in an houre consume long labours gaynes . True is it that diuinest Sidney sung , O , he is mard , that is for others made . Come neere , my friends , for I am neere my end . In presence of this Honourable trayne , Who loue me ( for I patronize their sports ) Meane I to make my finall Testament : But first I le call my officers to count , And of the wealth I gaue them to dispose , Know what is left . I may know what to giue Vertumnus then , that turnst the yere about . Summon them one by one to answere me , First Ver , the spring , vnto whose custody I haue committed more then to the rest : The choyse of all my fragrant meades and flowres , And what delights soe're nature affords . Vertum.

I will , my Lord . Ver , lusty Ver , by the name of lusty Ver , come into the court , lose a marke in issues .

Enter Ver with his trayne , ouerlayd with suites of greene mosse , representing short grasse , singing . The Song . Spring , the sweete spring , is the yeres pleasant King , Then bloomes eche thing , then maydes daunce in a ring , Cold doeth not sting , the pretty birds doe sing , Cuckow , iugge , iugge , pu we , to witta woo . The Palme and May make countrey houses gay . Lambs friske and play , the Shepherds pype all day , And we heare aye , birds tune this merry lay , Cuckow , iugge , iugge , pu we , to witta woo . The fields breathe sweete , the dayzies kisse our feete , Young louers meete , old wiues a sunning sit : In euery streete , these tunes our eares doe greete , Cuckow , iugge , iugge , pu we , to witta woo . Spring the sweete spring . Will Summer .

By my troth , they haue voyces as cleare as Christall : this is a pratty thing , if it be for nothing but to goe a begging with .

Summers : Beleeue me , Ver , but thou art pleasant bent , This humor should import a harmlesse minde : Knowst thou the reason why I sent for thee ? Ver. No faith , nor care not , whether I do or no .

If you will daunce a Galliard , so it is : if not , Falangtado , Falangtado , to weare the blacke and yellow : Falangtado , Falangtado , my mates are gone , I le followe .

Summer . Nay , stay a while , we must confer and talke . Ver , call to mind I am thy soueraigne Lord , And what thou hast , of me thou hast , and holdst . Vnto no other end I sent for thee . But to demaund a reckoning at thy hands , How well or ill thou hast imployd my wealth . Ver. If that be all , we will not disagree . A cleane trencher and a napkin you shall haue presently . Will Summer .

The truth is , this fellow hath bin a tapster in his daies .

Ver goes in , and fetcheth out the Hobby horse & the morris daunce , who daunce about . Summer . How now ? is this the reckoning we shall haue ? Winter . My Lord , he doth abuse you : brooke it not . Autumne . Summa totalis I feare will proue him but a foole . Ver.

About , about , liuely , put your horse to it , reyne him harder , ierke him with your wand , sit fast , sit fast , man ; focle , hold vp your ladle there .

Will Summer .

O braue hall ! O , well sayd , butcher . Now for the credit of Wostershire . The finest set of Morris-dauncers that is betweene this and Stretham : mary , me thinks there is one of them daunceth like a Clothyers horse , with a wool-pack on his backe . You friend with the Hobby-horse , goe not too fast , for feare of wearing out my Lords tyle-stones with your hob-nayles .

Ver.

So , so , so , trot the ring twise ouer , and away . May it please my Lord , this is the grand capitall summe , but there are certayne parcels behind , as you shall see .

Summer . Nay , nay , no more ; for this is all too much . Ver. Content your selfe , we 'le haue variety . Here enter 3. Clownes , & 3. maids , singing this song , daunsing . Trip and goe , heaue and hoe , Vp and downe to and fro , From the towne , to the groue , Two , and two , let vs roue A Maying , a playing : Loue hath no gainsaying : So merrily trip and goe . Will Summer .

Beshrew my heart , of a number of ill legs , I neuer sawe worse daunsers : how blest are you , that the wenches of the parish doe not see you !

Summer . Presumptuous Ver , vnciuill nurturde boy , Think'st I will be derided thus of thee ? Is this th' account and reckoning that thou mak'st ? Ver.

Troth , my Lord , to tell you playne , I can giue you no other account : nam quae habui , pordidi ; what I had , I haue spent on good fellowes , in these sports you haue seene , which are proper to the Spring , and others of like sort , ( as giuing wenches greene gownes , making garlands for Fencers , and tricking vp children gay ) haue I bestowde all my flowry treasure , and flowre of my youth .

Will Summer .

A small matter . I knowe one spent in lesse then a yere , eyght and fifty pounds in mustard , and an other that ranne in det , in the space of foure or fiue yeere , aboue foureteene thousand pound in lute strings and gray paper .

Summer . O monstrous vnthrift , who e're heard the like ? The seas vast throate in so short tract of time , Deuoureth nor consumeth halfe so much . How well mightst thou haue liu'd within thy bounds ? Ver.

What talke you to me , of liuing within my bounds ? I tell you , none but Asses liue within their bounds : the silly beasts , if they be put in a pasture , that is eaten bare to the very earth , & where there is nothing to be had but thistles , will rather fall soberly to those thistles , and be hungerstaru'd , then they will offer to breake their bounds ; whereas the lusty courser , if he be in a barrayne plot , and spye better grasse in some pasture neere adioyning , breakes ouer hedge and ditch , and to goe , e're he will be pent in , and not haue his belly full . Peraduenture , the horses lately sworne to be stolne , carried that youthfull mind , who , if they had bene Asses , would haue bene yet extant .

Will Summers .

Thus we may see , the longer we liue , the more wee shall learne : I ne're thought honestie an asse , till this day .

Ver.

This world is transitory , it was made of nothing , and it must to nothing : wherefore , if wee will doe the will of our high Creatour , ( whose will it is , that it passe to nothing ) wee must helpe to consume it to nothing . Gold is more vile then men : Men dye in thousands , and ten thousands , yea , many times in hundreth thousands in one battaile . If then , the best husband bee so liberall of his best handyworke , to what ende should we make much of a glittering excrement , or doubt to spend at a banket as many pounds , as he spends men at a battaile ? Me thinkes I honour Geta the Romane Emperour , for a braue minded fellow : for he commaunded a banket to bee made him of all meats vnder the Sunne ; which were serued in after the order of the Alphabet ; and the Clarke of the kitchin following the last dish ( which was two mile off from the formost ) brought him an Index of their seuerall names : Neyther did he pingle when it was set on the boord , but for the space of three dayes and three nights , neuer rose from the Table .

Will Summers .

O intolerable lying villayne , that was neuer begotten without the consent of a whetstone .

Summer . Vngratious man , how fondly he argueth ! Ver.

Tell me , I pray , wherefore was gold layd vnder our feete in the veynes of the earth , but that wee should contemne it , and treade vpon it , and so consequently treade thrift vnder our feete ? It was not knowne , till the Iron age , donec facinus inuasit mortales , as the Poet sayes ; and the Scythians alwayes detested it . I will proue it , that an vnthrift , of any , comes neerest a happy man , in so much as he comes neerest to beggery . Cicero saith , summum bonum consistes in omnium rerum vacatione , that it is the chiefest felicitie that may be , to rest from all labours . Now , who doeth so much vacare à rebus , who rests so much ? who hath so little to doe , as the begger ? Who can sing so merry a note , as he that cannot change a groate ? Cui nil est , nil deest : hee that hath nothing , wants nothing . On the other side , it is said of the Carle , Omnia habeo , nec quicquam habeo : I haue all things , yet want euery thing . Multi mihi vitio vertunt , quia egeo , saith Marcus Cato in Aulus Gellius , at ego illis , quia nequeunt egere : Many vpbrayde me , sayth he , because I am poore : but I vpbrayd them , because they cannot liue if they were poore . It is a common prouerbe , Dinesque miserque , a rich man , and a miserable : nam natura paucis contenta , none so contented as the poore man . Admit that the chiefest happines were not rest or ease , but knowledge , as Herillus , Alcidamas , & many of Socrates followers affirme ; why , paupertas omnes perdocot artes , pouerty instructs a man in all arts , it makes a man hardy and venturous ; and therefore it is called of the Poets , Paupertas audax , valiant pouerty . It is not so much subiect to inordinate desires , as wealth or prosperity . Non habet vnde suum paupertas pascat amorem : pouerty hath not wherewithall to feede lust . All the Poets were beggers : all Alcumists , and all Philosophers are beggers : Omnia mea mecum porto , quoth Bias , when he had nothing , but bread and cheese in a letherne bagge , and two or three bookes in his bosome . Saint Frauncis , a holy Saint , & neuer had any money . It is madnes to dote vpon mucke . That young man of Athens , ( Aelianus makes mention of ) may be an example to vs , who doted so extremely on the image of Fortune , that when hee might not inioy it , he dyed for sorrow . The earth yelds all her fruites together , and why should not we spend them together ? I thanke heauens on my knees , that haue made mee an vnthrift .

Summer . O vanitie it selfe ; O wit ill spent ! So studie thousands not to mend their liues , But to maintayne the sinne they most affect , To be hels aduocates against their owne soules . Ver , since thou giu'st such prayse to beggery , And hast defended it so valiantly , This be thy penance ; Thou shalt ne're appeare , Or come abroad , but Lent shall wayte on thee : His scarsity may counteruayle thy waste . Ryot may flourish , but findes want at last . Take him away , that knoweth no good way , And leade him the next way to woe and want . Exit Ver. Thus in the paths of knowledge many stray , And from the meanes of life fetch their decay . Will Summer .

Heigh ho . Here is a coyle in deede to bring beggers to stockes . I promise you truely , I was almost asleep ; I thought I had bene at a Sermon . Well , for this one nights exhortation , I vow ( by Gods grace ) neuer to be good husband while I liue . But what is this to the purpose ? Hur come to Powl ( as the Welshman sayes ) and hur pay an halfepenny for bur seat , and hur heare the Preacher talge , and a talge very well by gis , but yet a cannot make hur laugh : goe a Theater , and heare a Queenes Fice , and he make hur laugh , and laugh hur belly-full . So we come hither to laugh and be merry , and we heare a filthy beggerly Oration , in the prayse of beggery . It is a beggerly Poet that writ it : and that makes him so much commend it , because hee knowes not how to mend himselfe . Well , rather then he shall haue no imployment but licke dishes , I will set him a worke my selfe , to write in prayse of the arte of stouping , and howe there was neuer any famous Thresher , Porter , Brewer , Pioner , or Carpenter , that had streight backe . Repayre to my chamber , poore fellow , when the play is done , and thou shalt see what I will say to thee .

Summer . Vertumnus , call Solstitium . Vertum.

Solstitium , come into the court without : peace there below ; make roome for master Solstitium .

Enter Solstitium like an aged Hermit , carrying a payre of ballances , with an houre-glasse in eyther of them ; one houre-glasse white , the other blacke : he is brought in by a number of shepherds , playing vpon Recorders . Solstitium . All hayle to Summer my dread soueraigne Lord . Summer . Welcome , Solstitium , thou art one of them , To whose good husbandry we haue referr'd Part of those small reuenues that we haue . What hast thou gaynd vs ? what hast thou brought in ? Solstitium . Alas , my Lord , what gaue you me to keepe , But a fewe dayes eyes in my prime of youth ? And those I haue conuerted to white hayres : I neuer lou'd ambitiously to clyme , Or thrust my hand too farre into the fire . To be in heauen , sure , is a blessed thing : But Atlas-like , to proppe heauen on ones backe , Cannot but be more labour then delight . Such is the state of men in honour plac'd ; They are gold vessels made for seruile vses , High trees that keepe the weather from low houses , But cannot sheild the tempest from themselues . I loue to dwell betwixt the hilles and dales ; Neyther to be so great to be enuide , Nor yet so poore the world should pitie me . Inter vtrumque tene , medio tutissimus ibis . Summer . What doest thou with those ballances thou bearst ? Solstitium . In them I weigh the day and night alike . This white glasse is the houre-glasse of the day : This blacke one the iust measure of the night ; One more then other holdeth not a grayne : Both serue times iust proportion to mayntayne . Summer . I like thy moderation wondrous well : And this thy ballance , wayghing the white glasse And blacke , with equall poyze and stedfast hand , A patterne is to Princes and great men , How to weigh all estates indifferently : The Spiritualty and Temporalty alike , Neyther to be too prodigall of smyles , Nor too seuere in frowning without cause . If you be wise , you Monarchs of the earth , Haue two such glasses still before your eyes ; Thinke as you haue a white glasse running on , Good dayes , friends fauour , and all things at beck , So this white glasse runne out ( as out it will ) The blacke comes next , your downfall is at hand , Take this of me , for somewhat I haue tryde ; A mighty ebbe followes a mighty tyde . But say , Solstitium , hadst thou nought besides ? Nought but dayes eyes , and faire looks , gaue I thee ? Solstitium . Nothing my Lord , nor ought more did I aske . Summer . But hadst thou alwayes kept thee in my sight , Thy good deserts , though silent , would haue askt . Solst. Deserts , my Lord , of ancient seruitours , Are like old sores , which may not be ript vp : Such vse these times haue got , that none must beg , But those that haue young limmes to lauish fast . Summer . I grieue , no more regard was had of thee : A little sooner hadst thou spoke to me , Thou hadst bene heard , but now the time is past : Death wayteth at the dore for thee and me ; Let vs goe measure out our beds in clay : Nought but good deedes hence shall we beare away . Be , as thou wert , best steward of my howres , And so returne vnto thy countrey bowres . Here Solstitium goes out with his musike , as he comes in . Will Summer .

Fye , fye of honesty , fye : Solstitium is an asse , perdy , this play is a gally-maufrey : fetch mee some drinke , some body . What cheere , what cheere , my hearts ? are not you thirsty with listening to this dry sport ? What haue we to doe with scales , and hower-glasses , except we were Bakers , or Clock-keepers ? I cannot tell how other men are addicted , but it is against my profession to vse any scales , but such as we play at with a boule , or keepe any howers , but dinner or supper . It is a pedanticall thing , to respect times and seasons : if a man be drinking with good fellowes late , he must come home , for feare the gates be shut ; when I am in my warme bed , I must rise to prayers , because the bell rings . I like no such foolish customes . Actors , bring now a black Iack , and a rundlet of of Renish wine , disputing of the antiquity of red noses ; let the prodigall childe come out in his dublet and hose all greasy , his shirt hanging forth , and ne're a penny in his purse , and talke what a fine thing it is to walke summerly , or sit whistling vnder a hedge and keepe hogges . Go forward in grace and vertue to proceed ; but let vs haue no more of these graue matters .

Summer . Vertumnus , will Sol come before vs . Vertumnus . Sol , Sol , vt , re , me , fa , sol , come to church while the bell toll . Enter Sol , verie richly attir'de , with a noyse of Musicians before him . Summer . I marrie , here comes maiestie in pompe , Resplendent Sol , chiefe planet of the heauens , He is our seruant , lookes he ne're so big . Sol. My liege , what crau'st thou at thy vassals hands ? Summer . Hypocrisie , how it can change his shape ! How base is pride from his owne dunghill put ? How I haue rais'd thee , Sol , I list not tell , Out of the Ocean of aduersitie , To sit in height of honors glorious heauen , To be the eye-sore of aspiring eyes , To giue the day her life , from thy bright lookes , And let nought thriue vpon the face of earth , From which thou shalt withdraw thy powerful smiles . What hast thou done deseruing such hie grace ? What industrie , or meritorious toyle , Canst thou produce , to proue my gift well plac'de ? Some seruice , or some profit I expect : None is promoted but for some respect . Sol. My Lord , what needs these termes betwixt vs two ? Vpbraiding , ill beseemes your bounteous mind : I do you honour for aduancing me . Why , t' is a credit for your excellence , To haue so great a subiect as I am : This is your glorie and magnificence , That without stouping of your mightinesse , Or taking any whit from your high state , You can make one as mightie as your selfe . Autumne . O arrogance exceeding all beliefe ! Summer my Lord , this sawcie vpstart Iacke , That now doth rule the chariot of the Sunne , And makes all starres deriue their light from him , Is a most base insinuating slaue , The sonne of parsimony , and disdaine , One that will shine , on friends and foes alike , That vnder brightest smiles , hideth blacke showers : Whose enuious breath doth dry vp springs and lakes , And burnes the grasse , that beastes can get no foode . Winter . No dunghill hath so vilde an excrement , But with his beames hee will forth with exhale : The fennes and quag-myres tithe to him their filth : Foorth purest mines he suckes a gainefull drosse : Greene Iuy-bushes at the Vintners doores He withers , and deuoureth all their sap . Autumne . Lasciuious and intemperate he is . The wrong of Daphne is a well knowne tale : Eche euening he descends to Thetis lap , The while men thinke he bathes him in the sea . O , but when he returneth whence he came , Downe to the West , then dawnes his deity , Then doubled is the swelling of his lookes ; He ouer loades his carre with Orient gemmes , And reynes his fiery horses with rich pearle : He termes himselfe the god of Poetry , And setteth wanton songs vnto the Lute . Winter . Let him not talke ; for he hath words at will , And wit to make the baddest matter good . Summer . Bad words , bad wit : oh , where dwels faith or truth ? Ill vsury my fauours reape from thee , Vsurping Sol , the hate of heauen and earth . Sol. If Enuy vnconfuted may accuse , Then Innocence must vncondemned dye . The name of Martyrdome offence hath gaynd , When fury stopt a froward Iudges eares . Much I le not say ( much speech much folly shewes ) What I haue done , you gaue me leaue to doe . The excrements you bred , whereon I feede , To rid the earth of their contagious fumes ; With such grosse carriage did I loade my beames , I burnt no grasse , I dried no springs and lakes : I suckt no mines , I withered no greene boughes . But when to ripen haruest I was forc'st , To make my rayes more feruent then I wont , For Daphnes wrongs and scapes in Thetis lap , All Gods are subiect to the like mishap . Starres daily fall ( t' is vse is all in all ) And men account the fall but natures course : Vaunting my iewels , hasting to the West , Or rising early from the gray ei'de morne . What do I vaunt but your large bountihood And shew how liberall a Lord I serue . Musique and poetrie , my two last crimes , Are those two exercises of delight , Wherewith long labours I doe weary out . The dying Swanne is not forbid to sing . The waues of Heber playd on Orpheus strings , When he ( sweete musiques Trophe ) was destroyd . And as for Poetry , woods eloquence , ( Dead Phaetons three sisters funerall teares That by the gods were to Electrum turnd ) Not flint , or rockes of Icy cynders fram'd , Deny the sourse of siluer-falling streames . Enuy enuieth not outcryes vnrest : In vaine I pleade , well , is to me a fault , And these my words seeme the flyght webbe of arte , And not to haue the taste of sounder truth . Let none but fooles , be car'd for of the wise ; Knowledge owne children , knowledge most despise . Summer. Thou know'st too much , to know to keepe the meane . He that sees all things , oft sees not himselfe . The Thames is witnesse of thy tyranny , Whose waues thou hast exhaust for winter showres . The naked channell playnes her of thy spite , That laid'st her intrailes vnto open sight . Vnprofitably borne to man and beast , Which like to Nilus yet doth hide his head , Some few yeares since thou let'st o'reflow these walks , And in the horse-race headlong ran at race , While in a cloude , thou hid'st thy burning face : Where was thy care to rid contagious filth , When some men wetshod , ( with his waters ) droupt ? Others that ate the Eeles his heate cast vp , Sickned and dyde by them impoysoned . Sleep'st thou , or keep'st thou then Admetus sheepe , Thou driu'st not back these flowings to the deepe ? Sol. The winds , not I , haue floods & tydes in chase : Diana , whom our fables call the moone , Only commaundeth o're the raging mayne , Shee leads his wallowing ofspring vp and downe , Shee wayning , all streames ebbe in the yeare : Shee was eclipst , when that the Thames was bare . Summer . A bare coniecture , builded on perhaps ; In laying thus the blame vpon the moone , Thou imitat'st subtill Pithagoras , Who , what he would the people should beleeue , The same he wrote with blood vpon a glasse , And turnd it opposite gainst the new moone ; Whose beames reflecting on it with full force , Shewd all those lynes , to them that stood behinde , Most playnly writ in circle of the moone , And then he said , Not I , but the new moone Faire Cynthia perswades you this and that ; With like collusion shalt thou not blind mee : But for abusing both the moone and mee , Long shalt thou be eclipsed by the moone , And long in darknesse liue , and see no light . A way with him , his doome hath no reuerse . Sol. What is eclipst , will one day shine againe : Though winter frownes , the Spring wil ease my paine . Time , from the brow , doth wipe out euery stayne . Exit Sol. Will Summer .

I thinke the Sunne is not so long in passing through the twelue signes , as the sonne of a foole hath bin disputing here , about had I wist . Out of doubt , the Poet is bribde of some that haue a messe of creame to eate , before my Lord goe to bed yet , to hold him halfe the night with riffe , raffe , of the rumming of Elanor . If I can tell what it meanes , pray god , I may neuer get breakefast more , when I am hungry . Troth , I am of opinion , he is one of those Hieroglificall writers , that by the figures of beasts , planets , and of stones , expresse the mind , as we doe in A. B. C. or one that writes vnder hayre , as I haue heard of a certaine Notary Histions , who following Darius in the Persian warres , and desirous to disclose some secrets of import , to his friend Aristagoras , that dwelt afarre off , found out this meanes : He had a seruant that had bene long sicke of a payne in his eyes , whom , vnder pretence of curing his maladie , he shau'd from one side of his head , to the other , and with a soft pensill wrote vpon his scalpe , ( as on parchment ) the discourse of his busines , the fellow all the while imagining , his master had done nothing but noynt his head with a feather . After this , hee kept him secretly in his tent , till his hayre was somewhat growne , and then wil'd him to go to Aristagoras into the countrey , and bid him shaue him , as he had done , and he should haue perfit remedie . He did so : Aristagoras shau'd him with his owne hands , read his friends letter ; and when hee had done , washt it out , that no man should perceyue it else , and sent him home to buy him a night-cap . If I wist there were any such knauery , or Peter Bales Brachigraphy , vnder Sols bushy hayre , I would haue a Barber , my hoste of the Murrions head , to be his Interpretour , who would whet his rasor on his Richmond cap , and giue him the terrible cut , like himselfe , but he would come as neere as a quart pot , to the construction of it . To be sententious , not superfluous , Sol should haue bene beholding to the Barbour , and not the beard-master . Is it pride that is shadowed vnder Imberbis Apollo , a beardles Poet . this two-leg'd Sunne , that neuer came neerer heauen , then Dubbers hill ? That pride is not my sinne , Slouens Hall , where I was borne , be my record . As for couetousnes , intemperance and exaction , I meet with nothing in a whole yeare , but a cup of wine , for such vices to bee conuersant in . Pergite porro , my good children , and multiply the sinnes of your absurdities , till you come to the full measure of the grand hisse , and you shall heare how we will purge rewme with censuring your imperfections .

Summer . Vertumnus , call Orion . Vertum.

Orion , Vrion , Arion ; my Lord thou must looke vpon : Orion , gentleman dogge-keeper , huntsman , come into the court : looke you bring all bounds , and no bandogges . Peace there , that we may heare their hornes blow .

Enter Orion like a hunter , with a horne about his necke , all his men after the same sort hallowing , and blowing their hornes . Orion . Sirra , wast thou that cal'd vs from our game ? How durst thou ( being but a pettie God ) Disturbe me in the entrance of my sports ? Summer . 'T was I , Orion , caus'd thee to be calde . Orion . 'T is I , dread Lord , that humbly will obey . Summer . How haps't thou leftst the heauens , to hunt below ? As I remember , thou wert Hireus sonne , Whom of a huntsman Ioue chose for a starre , And thou art calde the Dog-starre , art thou not ? Autumne . Pleaseth your honor , heauens circumference Is not ynough for him to hunt and range , But with those venome-breathed curres he leads , He comes to chase health from our earthly bounds : Each one of those foule-mouthed mangy dogs Gouernes a day , ( no dog but hath his day ) And all the daies by them so gouerned , The Dog-daies hight , infectious fosterers Of meteors from carrion that arise , And putrified bodies of dead men , Are they ingendred to that ougly shape , Being nought els but preseru'd corruption . T' is these that in the entrance of their raigne The plague and dangerous agues haue brought in . They arre and barke at night against the Moone , For fetching in fresh tides to cleanse the streetes . They vomit flames , and blast the ripened fruites : They are deathes messengers vnto all those , That sicken while their malice beareth sway . Orion . A tedious discourse , built on no ground , A sillie fancie Autumne hast thou told , Which no Philosophie doth warrantize , No old receiued poetrie confirmes . I will not grace thee by confuting thee : Yet in a iest ( since thou railest so gainst dogs ) I le speake a word or two in their defence : That creature 's best that comes most neere to men . That dogs of all come neerest , thus I proue : First they excell vs in all outward sence , Which no one of experience will deny , They heare , they smell , they see better then we , To come to speech they haue it questionlesse , Although we vnderstand them not so well : They barke as good old Saxon as may be , And that in more varietie then we : For they haue one voice when they are in chase , Another , when they wrangle for their meate , Another , when we beate them out of dores . That they haue reason , this I will alleadge , They choose those things that are most fit for them , And shunne the contrarie all that they may , They know what is for their owne diet best , And seeke about for 't very carefully . At sight of any whip they runne away , As runs a thiefe from noise of hue and crie : Nor liue they on the sweat of others browes , But haue their trades to get their liuing with , Hunting and conie-catching , two fine artes : Yea , there be of them as there be of men , Of euerie occupation more or lesse : Some cariers , and they fetch , some watermen , And they will diue and swimme when you bid them : Some butchers , and they worrie sheep by night : Some cookes , and they do nothing but turne spits . Chrisippus holds , dogs are Logicians , In that by studie and by canuasing , They can distinguish twixt three seuerall things , As when he commeth where three broad waies meet , And of those three hath staid at two of them , By which he gesseth that the game went not , Without more pause he runneth on the third , Which , as Chrisippus saith , insinuates , As if he reason'd thus within himselfe : Eyther he went this , that , or yonder way , But neyther that , nor yonder , therefore this : But whether they Logicians be or no , Cinicks they are , for they will snarle and bite , Right courtiers to flatter and to fawne , Valiant to set vpon the enemies , Most faithfull and most constant to their friends ; Nay they are wise , as Homer witnesseth , Who talking of Vlisses comming home , Saith all his houshold , but Argus his Dogge , Had quite forgot him : I , and his deepe insight , Nor Pallas Art in altering of his shape , Nor his base weeds , nor absence twenty yeares , Could go beyond , or any way delude . That Dogges Phisicians are , thus I inferre , They are ne're sicke , but they know their disease , And finde out meanes to ease them of their griefe , Speciall good Surgions to cure dangerous wounds : For strucken with a stake into the flesh , This policie they vse to get it out : They traile one of their feet vpon the ground , And gnaw the flesh about where the wound is , Till it be cleane drawne out : and then , because Vlcers and sores kept fowle , are hardly cur'de , They licke and purifie it with their tongue , And well obserue Hipocrates old rule , The onely medicine for the foote , is rest : For if they haue the least hurt in their feet , They beare them vp , and looke they be not stird : When humours rise , they eate a soueraigne herbe , Whereby what cloyes their stomacks , they cast vp , And as some writers of experience tell , They were the first inuented vomitting . Sham'st thou not , Autumne , vnaduisedly To slander such rare creatures as they be ? Summer . We cal'd thee not , Orion , to this end , To tell a storie of dogs qualities . With all thy hunting how are we inriche ? What tribute payest thou vs for thy high place ? Orion . What tribute should I pay you out of nought ? Hunters doe hunt for pleasure , not for gaine . While Dog-dayes last , the haruest safely thriues : The sunne burnes hot , to finish vp fruits grouth : There is no bloud-letting to make men weake : Physicians with their Cataposia , r. tittle Elinctoria Masticatorum and Cataplasmata : Their Gargarismes , Clisters , and pitcht clothes , Their perfumes , sirrups , and their triacles , Refraine to poyson the sicke patients , And dare not minister till I be out . Then none will bathe , and so are fewer drownd : All lust is perilsome , therefore lesse vs'de . In briefe , the yeare without me cannot stand : Summer , I am thy staffe , and thy right hand . Summer . A broken staffe , a lame right hand I had , If thou wert all the stay that held me vp . Nihil violentum perpetuum . No violence that liueth to olde age . Ill-gouern'd starre , that neuer boad'st good lucke , I banish thee a twelue-month and a day , Forth of my presence , come not in my sight , Nor shewe thy head , so much as in the night . Orion . I am content , though hunting be not out , We will goe hunt in hell for better hap . One parting blowe , my hearts , vnto our friends , To bid the fields and huntsmen all farewell : Tosse vp your bugle hornes vnto the starres . Toyle findeth ease , peace followes after warres . Exit . Here they goe out , blowing their hornes , and hallowing , as they came in . Will Summer .

Faith , this Sceane of Orion , is right prandium caninum , a dogs dinner , which as it is without wine , so here 's a coyle about dogges , without wit . If I had thought the ship of fooles would haue stayde to take in fresh water at the I le of dogges , I would haue furnisht it with a whole kennell of collections to the purpose . I haue had a dogge my selfe , that would dreame , and talke in his sleepe , turne round like Ned foole , and sleepe all night in a porridge pot . Marke but the skirmish betweene sixpence and the foxe , and it is miraculous , how they ouercome one another in honorable curtesy . The foxe , though he weares a chayne , runnes as though hee were free , mocking vs ( as it is a crafty beast ) because we hauing a Lord and master to attend on , runne about at our pleasures , like masterles men . Young sixpence , the best page his master hath , playes a little , and retires . I warrant , he will not be farre out of the way , when his master goes to dinner . Learne of him , you deminitiue vrchins , howe to behaue your selues in your vocation , take not vp your standings in a nut-tree , when you should be waiting on my Lords trencher . Shoote but a bit at buttes , play but a span at poyntes . What euer you doe , memento mori : remember to rise betimes in the morning .

Summer . Vertumnus , call Haruest . Vertumnus .

Haruest , by west , and by north , by south and southeast , shewe thy selfe like a beast . Goodman Haruest yeoman , come in , and say what you can : roome for the sithe and the siccles there .

Enter Haruest with a sythe on his neck , & all his reapers with siccles , and a great black bowle with a posset in it , borne before him : they come in singing . The Song . Merry , merry , merry , cheary , cheary , cheary , Trowle the black bowle to me , Hey derry , derry , with a poupe and a lerry , I le trowle it againe to thee : Hooky , hooky , we haue shorne , and we haue bound , And we haue brought Haruest home to towne . Summer . Haruest , the Bayly of my husbandry , What plenty hast thou heapt into our Barnes ? I hope thou hast sped well thou art so blithe . Haruest . Sped well , or ill sir , I drinke to you on the same : Is your throate cleare to helpe vs to sing , hooky , hooky ? Heere they all sing after him , Hooky , hooky , we haue shorne , and we haue bound , And we haue brought haruest home to towne . Autumne . Thou Coridon , why answer'st not direct ? Haruest .

Answere ? why friend , I am no tapster , to say , Anon , anon , sir : but leaue you to molest me , goodman tawny leaues , for feare ( as the prouerbe sayes , leaue is light ) so I mow off all your leaues with my sithe .

Winter . Mocke not , & mowe not too long you were best , For feare we whet not your sythe vpon your pate . Summer . Since thou art so peruerse in answering , Haruest , heare what complaints are brought to me . Thou art accused by the publike voyce , For an ingrosser of the common store , A Carle , that hast no conscience , nor remorse , But doost impouerish the fruitfull earth , To make thy garners rise vp to the heauens . To whom giuest thou ? who feedeth at thy boord ? No almes , but vnreasonable gaine , Disgests what thy huge yron teeth deuoure : Small beere , course bread , the hynds and beggers cry , Whilest thou with holdest both the mault and flowre , And giu'st vs branne , and water , ( fit for dogs . ) Haruest .

Hooky , hooky , if you were not my Lord , I would say you lye . First and formost you say I am a Grocer . A Grocer is a citizen : I am no citizen , therefore no Grocer . A hoorder vp of graine : that 's false ; for not so much but my elbows eate wheate euery time I leane on them . A Carle : that is as much to say , as a conny-catcher of good fellowship . For that one word , you shall pledge me a carouse : eate a spoonfull of the curd to allay your choller . My mates and fellowes , sing no more , Merry , merry : but weep out a lamentable hooky , hooky , and let your Sickles cry , Sicke , sicke , and very sicke , & sicke , and for the time ; for Haruest your master is abusde without reason or rime . I haue no conscience I ; I le come neerer to you , and yet I am no scabbe , nor no louse . Can you make proofe where euer I sold away my conscience , or pawnd it ? doe you know who would buy it , or lend any money vpon it ? I thinke I haue giuen you the pose ; blow your nose , master constable . But to say that I impouerish the earth , that I robbe the man in the moone , that I take a purse on the top of Paules steeple ; by this straw and third I sweare , you are no gentleman , no proper man , no honest man , to make mee sing , O man in desperation .

Summer . I must giue credit vnto what I heare ; For other then I heare , attract I nought . Haruest .

I , I , nought seeke , nought haue : an ill husband is the first steppe to a knaue . You obiect I feede none at my boord . I am sure , if you were a hogge , you would neuer say so : for , surreuerence of their worships , they feed at my stable , table , euery day . I keepe good hospitality for hennes & geese ; Gleaners are oppressed with heauy burdens of my bounty . They rake me , and eate me to the very bones , till there be nothing left but grauell and stones , and yet I giue no almes , but deuoure all . They say when a man cannot heare well , you heare with your haruest eares : but if you heard with your haruest eares , that is , with the eares of corne , which my almescart scatters , they would tell you , that I am the very poore mans boxe of pitie , that there are more holes of liberality open in haruests heart , then in a siue , or a dust-boxe . Suppose you were a craftsman , or an Artificer , and should come to buy corne of mee , you should haue bushels of mee , not like the Bakers loafe , that should waygh but sixe ounces , but vsury for your mony , thousands for one : what would you haue more ? Eate mee out of my apparell , if you will , if you suspect mee for a miser .

Summer . I credit thee , and thinke thou wert belide . But tell mee , hadst thou a good crop this yeare ? Haruest .

Hay , Gods plenty , which was so sweete and so good , that when I ierted my whip , and said to my horses but Hay , they would goe as they were mad .

Summer . But hay alone thou saist not ; but hay-ree . Haruest .

I sing hay-ree , that is , hay and rye : meaning , that they shall haue hay and rye their belly-fulls , if they will draw hard ; So wee say , wa , hay , when they goe out of the way : meaning , that they shall want hay , if they will not doe as they should doe .

Summer . How thriue thy oates , thy barley , and thy wheate ? Haruest .

My oates grew like a cup of beere that makes the brewer rich : my rye like a Caualier , that weares a huge feather in his cap , but hath no courage in his heart ; had a long stalke , a goodly huske , but nothing so great a kernell as it was wont : my barley , euen as many a nouice is crossebitten , as soone as euer hee peepes out of the shell , so was it frost-bitten in the blade , yet pickt vp his crummes agayne afterward , and bade , Fill pot , hostesse , in spite of a deare yeere . As for my Pease and my Fetches , they are famous , and not to be spoken of .

Autumne . I , I , such countrey button'd caps as you , Doe want no fetches to vndoe great townes . Haruest . Will you make good your words , that wee want no fetches ? Winter . I , that he shall . Haruest . Then fetch vs a cloake-bagge , to carry away your selfe in . Summer . Plough-swaynes are blunt , and will taunt bitterly . Haruest , when all is done , thou art the man , Thou doest me the best seruice of them all : Rest from thy labours till the yeere renues , And let the husbandmen sing of thy prayse . Haruest .

Rest from my labours , and let the husbandmen sing of my prayse ? Nay , we doe not meane to rest so ; by your leaue , we 'le haue a largesse amongst you , e're we part .

All . A largesse , a largesse , a largesse . Will Summer . Is there no man that will giue them a hisse for a largesse ? Haruest .

No , that there is not , goodman Lundgis : I see , charitie waxeth cold , and I thinke this house be her habitation , for it is not very hot ; we were as good euen put vp our pipes , and sing Merry , merry , for we shall get no money .

Here they goe out all singing , Merry , merry , merry , cheary , cheary , cheary , Trowle the blacke bowle to me : Hey derry , derry , with a poupe and a lerrie , I le trowle it againe to thee : bookie" , we haue shorne and we haue bound , And we haue brought haruest home to towne . Will Summer .

Well , go thy waies , thou bundle of straw ; I le giue thee this gift , thou shalt be a Clowne while thou liu'st . As lustie as they are , they run on the score with Georges wife for their posset , and God knowes who shal pay goodman Yeomans , for his wheat sheafe : they may sing well enough , Trowle the blacke bowle to mee , trowle the blacke bowle to mee : for , a hundreth to one , but they will bee all drunke , e're they goe to bedde : yet , of a slauering foole , that hath no conceyte in any thing , but in carrying a wand in his hand , with commendation when he runneth by the high way side , this stripling Haruest hath done reasonable well . O that some bodie had had the wit to set his thatcht suite on fire , and so lighted him out : If I had had but a Iet ring on my finger , I might haue done with him what I list ; I had spoild him , I had tooke his apparrell prisoner ; for it being made of straw , & the nature of let , to draw straw vnto it , I would haue nailde him to the pommell of my chaire , till the play were done , and then haue carried him to my chamber dore , and laide him at the threshold as a wispe , or a piece of mat , to wipe my shooes on , euerie time I come vp durtie .

Summer . Vertumnus , call Bacchus . Vertum.

Bacchus , Baccha , Bacchum , god Bacchus , god fatbacke , Baron of dubble beere , and bottle ale , come in & shew thy nose that is nothing pale : backe , backe there , god barrellbellie may enter .

Enter Bacchus riding vpon an Asse trapt in Iuie , himselfe drest in Vine leaues , and a garland of grapes on his head : his companions hauing all Iacks in their hands , and Iuie garlands on their heads , they come in singing . The Song . Mounsieur Mingo , for quaeffing doth surpasse , In Cuppe , in Canne , or glasse . God Bacchus doe mee right , And dubbe mee knight Domingo . Bacchus .

Wherefore didst thou call mee , Vertumnus ? hast any drinke to giue mee ? One of you hold my Asse while I light : walke him vp and downe the hall , till I talke a word or two .

Summer .

What , Bacchus : still animus in patinis , no mind but on the pot ?

Bacchus .

Why , Summer , Summer , how would'st doe , but for rayne ? What is a faire house without water comming to it ? Let mee see how a smith can worke , if hee haue not his trough standing by him . What sets an edge on a knife ? the grindstone alone ? no , the moyst element powr'd vpon it , which grinds out all gaps , sets a poynt vpon it , & scowres it as bright as the firmament . So , I tell thee , giue a soldier wine before he goes to battaile , it grinds out all gaps , it makes him forget all scarres and wounds , and fight in the thickest of his enemies , as though hee were but at foyles , amongst his fellows . Giue a scholler wine , going to his booke , or being about to inuent , it sets a new poynt on his wit , it glazeth it , it scowres it , it giues him acumen . Plato saith , vinum esse fomitem quendam , et incit abilem ingenij virtutisque . Aristotle saith , Nulla est magna scientia absque mixtura dementiae . There is no excellent knowledge without mixture of madnesse . And what makes a man more madde in the head then wine ? Qui bene vult poyein , debet axtá pinyen , he that will doe well , must drinke well . Prome , prome , potum prome : Ho butler , a fresh pot . Nunc est bibendum , nunc pede libero terra pulsanda : a pox on him that leaues his drinke behinde him ; hey Rendouow .

Summer . It is wines custome , to be full of words . I pray thee , Bacchus , giue vs vicissitudinem loquendi . Bacchus .

A fiddlesticke , ne're tell me I am full of words . Foecundi calices , quem non fecere desertum : aut epi , aut abi , eyther take your drinke , or you are an infidell .

Summer . I would about thy vintage question thee : How thriue thy vines ? hadst thou good store of grapes ? Bac.

Vinum quasivenenum , wine is poyson to a sicke body ; a sick body is no sound body ; Ergo , wine is a pure thing , & is poyson to all corruption . Try-lill , the hunters hoope to you : i le stand to it , Alexander was a braue man , and yet an arrant drunkard .

Winter . Fye , drunken sot , forget'st thou where thou art ? My Lord askes thee , what vintage thou hast made ? Bac.

Our vintage , was a vintage , for it did not work vpon the aduantage , it came in the vauntgard of Summer , & winds and stormes met it by the way , and made it cry , Alas and welladay .

Summer . That was not well , but all miscaried not ? Bac.

Faith , shal I tel you no lye ? Because you are my countryman , & so forth , & a good fellow , is a good fellow , though he haue neuer a penny in his purse : We had but euen pot luck , a little to moysten our lips , and no more . That same Sol , is a Pagan , and a Proselite , hee shinde so bright all summer , that he burnd more grapes , then his beames were worth , were euery beame as big as a weauers beame . A fabis abstinendum : faith , he shuld haue abstaind : for what is flesh & blud without his liquor ?

Autumne . Thou want'st no liquor , nor no flesh and bloud . I pray thee may I aske without offence ? How many tunnes of wine hast in thy paunch ? Me thinks , that , built like a round church , Should yet haue some of Iulius Caesars wine : I warrant , 't was not broacht this hundred yere . Bacchus .

Hear'st , thou dow-belly , because thou talkst , and talkst , & dar'st not drinke to me a black Iack , wilt thou giue me leaue , to broach this little kilderkin of my corps , against thy backe ? I know thou art but a mycher , & dar'st not stand me . A voni , mounsieur Winter , a frolick vpsy freese , crosse , ho , super nagulū . Knockes the Iacke vpon his thumbe .

Winter . Grammercy , Bacchus , as much as though I did . For this time thou must pardon me perforce . Bacchus .

What , giue me the disgrace ? Goe to , I say , I am no Pope , to pardon any man . Ran , ran , tarra , cold beere makes good bloud . S. George for England : somewhat is better then nothing . Let me see , hast thou done me iustice ? why so : thou art a king , though there were no more kings in the cards but the knaue . Summer , wilt thou haue a demy culuering , that shall cry husty tusty , and make thy cup flye fine meale in the Element ?

Summer . No , keepe thy drinke , I pray thee , to thy selfe . Bacchus .

This Pupillonian in the fooles coate , shall haue a cast of martins , & a whiffe . To the health of Captaine Rinocerotry : looke to it , let him haue weight and measure .

Will Summer .

What an asse is this ? I cannot drinke so much , though I should burst .

Bacchus .

Foole , doe not refuse your moyst sustenance ; come , come , dogs head in the pot , doe what you are borne to .

Will Summer .

If you will needs make me a drunkard against my will , so it is , i le try what burthen my belly is of .

Bacchus .

Crouch , crouch on your knees , foole , when you pledge god Bacchus .

Here Will Summer drinks , & they sing about him . Bacchus begins . All , Mounsieur Mingo for quaffing did surpasse , In Cup , in Can , or glasse . Bacchus .

Ho , wel shot , a tutcher , a tutcher : for quaffing Toy doth passe , in cup , in canne , or glasse .

All . God Bacchus doe him right , and dubbe him knight . Bac. Rise vp Sir Robert Tospot . Here he dubs Will Summer with the black Iacke . Sum, No more of this , I hate it to the death . No such deformer of the soule and sence , As is this swynish damn'd-borne drunkennes . Bacchus , for thou abusest so earths fruits , Impris'ned liue in cellars and in vawtes , Let none commit their counsels vnto thee : Thy wrath be fatall to thy dearest friends , Vnarmed runne vpon thy foemens swords , Neuer feare any plague , before it fall : Dropsies , and watry tympanies haunt thee , Thy lungs with surfeting be putrified , To cause thee haue an odious stinking breath , Slauer and driuell like a child at mouth , Bee poore and beggerly in thy old age , Let thy owne kinsmen laugh , when thou complaynst , And many teares gayne nothing but blind scoffes . This is the guerdon due to drunkennes ; Shame , sicknes , misery , followe excesse . Bacchus .

Now on my honor , Sim Summer , thou art a bad member , a Dunse , a mungrell , to discredit so worshipfull an arte after this order . Thou hast curst me , and I will blesse thee : Neuer cup of Nipitaty in London , come neere thy niggardly habitation . I beseech the gods of good fellowship , thou maist fall into a consumption with drinking smal beere . Euery day maist thou eate fish , and let it sticke in the midst of thy maw , for want of a cup of wine to swim away in . Venison be Venenum to thee : & may that Vintner haue the plague in his house , that sels thee a drop of claret to kill the poyson of it . As many wounds maist thou haue , as Casar had in the Senate house , and get no white wine to wash them with : And to conclude , pine away in melancholy and sorrow , before thou hast the fourth part of a dramme of my Iuice to cheare vp thy spirits .

Summer . Hale him away , he barketh like a wolfe , It is his drinke , not hee that rayles on vs . Bacchus .

Nay soft , brother Summer , back with that foote , here is a snuffe in the bottome of the Iack , inough to light a man to bed withall , wee 'le leaue no flocks behind vs whatsoeuer wee doe .

Summer . Go dragge him hence I say when I commaund . Bacchus . Since we must needs goe , let 's goe merrily .

Farewell , sir Robert Tosse-pot : sing amayne , Mounsieur Myngo , whilest I mount vp my Asse .

Here they goe out singing , Mounsieur Myngo , as they came in . Will Summer .

Of all gods , this Bacchus is the ill-fauourd'st misshapen god that euer I sawe . A poxe on him , he hath cristned me with a newe nickname of sir Robert Tosse-pot , that will not part from me this twelmonth . Ned fooles clothes are so perfumde with the beere he powrd on me , that there shall not be a Dutchman within 20 mile , but he 'le smel out & claime kindred of him . What a beastly thing is it , to bottle vp ale in a mans belly , when a man must set his guts on a gallon pot last , only to purchase the alehouse title of a boone companion ? Carowse , pledge me and you dare : S'wounds , i le drinke with thee for all that euer thou art worth . It is euen as 2. men should striue who should run furthest into the sea for a wager . Me thinkes these are good houshold termes ; Wil it please you to be here , sir ? I commend me to you : shall I be so bold as trouble you ? sauing your tale I drink to you . And if these were put in practise but a yeare or two in tauernes , wine would soone fall from six and twentie pound a tunne , and be beggers money , a penie a quart , and take vp his Inne with wast beere in the almes tub . I am a sinner as others : I must not say much of this argument . Euerie one when hee is whole , can giue aduice to them that are sicke . My masters , you that be good fellowes , get you into corners , and soupe off your prouender closely : report hath a blister on her tongue : open tauerns are tel-tales . Non peccat , quicunque potest peccasse negare .

Summer . I le call my seruants to account said I ? A bad account : worse seruants no man hath . Quos credis sides effuge , tutus eris : The prouerbe I haue prou'd to be too true , Totidem domi hostes habemus , quot seruos . And that wise caution of Democritus , Seruns necessaria possessio , non autem dulcis : No where fidelitie and labour dwels . Hope , yong heads count to build on had I wist . Conscience but few respect , all hunt for gaine : Except the Cammell haue his prouender Hung at his mouth , he will not trauell on . Tyresias to Narcissus promised Much prosperous hap , and many golden daies , If of his beautie he no knowledge tooke . Knowledge breeds pride , pride breedeth discontent . Blacke discontent , thou vrgest to reuenge . Reuenge opes not her eares to poore mens praiers . That dolt destruction , is she without doubt , That hales her foorth and feedeth her with nought . Simplicitie and plainnesse , you I loue : Hence double diligence , thou mean'st deceit . Those that now serpent-like creepe on the ground , And seeme to eate the dust , they crowch so low : If they be disappointed of their pray , Most traiterously will trace their tailes and sting . Yea , such as like the Lapwing build their nests In a mans dung , come vp by drudgerie , Will be the first , that like that foolish bird , Will follow him with yelling and false cries . Well sung a shepheard ( that now sleepes in skies ) Dumbe swaines do loue , & not vaine chattering pies . In mountaines Poets say Eccho is hid , For her deformitie and monstrous shape : Those mountaines are the houses of great Lords , Where Scenter with his hundreth voices sounds A hundreth trumpes at once with rumor fild : A woman they imagine her to be , Because that sexe keepes nothing close they heare : And that 's the reason magicke writers frame , There are more witches women then of men ; For women generally for the most part , Of secrets more desirous of , then men , Which hauing got , they haue no power to hold . In these times had Ecchoes first fathers liu'd , No woman , but a man she had beene faind . ( Though women yet will want no newes to prate . ) For men ( meane men ) the skumme & drosse of all , Will talke and babble of they know not what , Vpbraid , depraue , and taunt , they care not whom : Sumises passe for sound approued truthes : Familiaritie and conference , That were the sinewes of societies , Are now for vnderminings onely vsde , And novell wits , that loue none but themselues , Thinke wisedomes height as falshood slily couch't , Seeking each other to o'rethrow his mate . O friendship , thy old temple is defac't . Embrasing euery guilefull curtesie , Hath ouergrowne fraud-wanting honestie . Examples liue but in the idle schooles : Sinon beares all the sway in princes courts : Sicknes , be thou my soules phisition : Bring the Apothecarie death with thee . In earth is hell , true hell felicitie , Compared with this world the den of wolues . Aut. My Lord , you are too passionate without cause . Winter . Grieue not for that which cannot be recal'd : Is it your seruants carelesnesse you plaine ? Tullie by one of his owne slaues was slaine . The husbandman close in his bosome nurst A subtill snake , that after wrought his bane . Autumne . Seruos fideles liberalitaes facit : Where on the contrarie , seruitutem : Those that attend vpon illiberall Lords , Whose couetize yeelds nought els but faire lookes , Euen of those faire lookes make their gainfull vse . For as in Ireland and in Denmarke both Witches for gold will sell a man a wind , Which in the corner of a napkin wrapt , Shall blow him safe vnto what coast he will : So make ill seruants sale of their Lords wind , Which wrapt vp in a piece of parchment , Blowes many a knaue forth danger of the law . Summer . Inough of this , let me go make my will . Ah it is made , although I hold my peace , These two will share betwixt them what I haue . The surest way to get my will perform'd , Is to make my executour my heire : And he , if all be giuen him and none els , Vnfallibly will see it well perform'd . Lyons will feed , though none bid them go to . Ill growes the tree affordeth ne're a graft . Had I some issue to sit in my throne , My griefe would die , death should not heare mee grone . But when perforce these must enioy my wealth , Which thanke me not , but enter 't as a pray , Bequeath'd it is not , but cleane cast away . Autumne , be thou successor of my seat : Hold , take my crowne : looke how he graspes for it . Thou shalt not haue it yet : but hold it too ; Why should I keep that needs I must forgo ? Winter . Then ( dutie laid aside ) you do me wrong : I am more worthie of it farre then he . He hath no skill nor courage for to rule , A weather-beaten banckrout asse it is , That scatters and consumeth all he hath : Eche one do plucke from him without controll . He is nor hot nor cold , a sillie soule , That faine would please eche party , if so he might : He and the spring are schollers fauourites . What schollers are , what thriftles kind of men , Your selfe be iudge , and iudge of him by them . When Cerberus was headlong drawne from hell , He voided a blacke poison from his mouth , Called Aconitum , whereof inke was made : That inke with reeds first laid on dried barkes , Seru'd men a while to make rude workes withall , Till Hermes , secretarie to the Gods , Or Hermes Trismegistus as some will , Wearie with grauing in blind characters , And figures of familiar beasts and plants , Inuented letters to write lies withall . In them he pend the fables of the Gods , The gyants warre , and thousand tales besides . After eche nation got these toyes in vse , There grew vp certaine drunken parasites , Term'd Poets , which for a meales meat or two , Would promise monarchs immortalitie : They vomited in verse all that they knew , Found causes and beginnings of the world , Fetcht pedegrees of mountaines and of flouds , From men and women whom the Gods transform'd : If any towne or citie , they pass'd by , Had in compassion ( thinking them mad men ) Forborne to whip them , or imprison them , That citie was not built by humane hands , T' was raisde by musique , like Megara walles , Apollo , poets patron founded it , Because they found one fitting fauour there : Musaeus , Lynus , Homer , Orpheus , Were of this trade , and thereby wonne their fame . Will. Summer . Famamalum , quo non velocius vllum . Winter . Next them , a company of ragged knaues , Sun-bathing beggers , lazie hedge-creepers , Sleeping face vpwards in the fields all night , Dream'd strange deuices of the Sunne and Moone , And they like Gipsies wandring vp and downe , Told fortunes , iuggled , nicknam'd all the starres , And were of idiots term'd Philosophers : Such was Pithagoras the silencer , Prometheus , Thales , Milesius , Who would all things of water should be made : Anaximander , Anaximenes , That positiuely said the aire was God ; Zenocrates , that said there were eight Gods : And Cratoniates , Alcmeon too , Who thought the Sun and Moone , & stars were gods : The poorer sort of them that could get nought , Profest , like beggerly Franciscan Friers , And the strict order of the Capouchins , A voluntarie wretched pouertie , Contempt of gold , thin fare , and lying hard : Yet he that was most vehement in these , Diogenes the Cinicke and the Dogge , Was taken coyning money in his Cell . Wil Summer .

What an olde Asse was that ? Me thinks , hee should haue coynde Carret rootes rather : for as for money , he had no vse for , except it were to melt , and soder vp holes in his tub withall .

Winter . It were a whole Olimpiades worke to tell , How many diuillish , ergo armed arts , Sprung all as vices , of this Idlenesse : For euen as souldiers not imployde in warres , But liuing loosely in a quiet state , Not hauing wherewithall to maintaine pride , Nay scarce to finde their bellies any foode , Nought but walke melancholie , and deuise How they may cousen Marchants , fleece young heires , Creepe into fauour by betraying men , Robbe churches , beg waste toyes , court city dames , Who shall vndoe their husbands for their sakes : The baser rabble how to cheate and steale , And yet be free from penaltie of death . So those word-warriers , lazy star-gazers , Vsde to no labour , but to lowze themselues , Had their heads fild with coosning fantasies , They plotted how to make their pouertie , Better esteemde of , then high Soueraignty : They thought how they might plant a heauen on earth , Whereof they would be principall lowe gods , That heauen they called Contemplation , As much to say , as a most pleasant slouth , Which better I cannot compare then this , That if a fellow licensed to beg , Should all his life time go from faire to faire , And buy gape-seede , hauing no businesse else . That contemplation like an aged weede , Engendred thousand sects , and all those sects Were but as these times , cunning shrowded rogues , Grammarians some : and wherein differ they From beggers , that professe the Pedlers French ? The Poets next , slouinly tatterd slaues , That wander , and sell Ballets in the streetes . Historiographers others there be , And the like lazers by the high way side , That for a penny , or a halfe-penny , Will call each knaue a good fac'd Gentleman , Giue honor vnto Tinkers , for good Ale , Preferre a Cobler fore the Black prince farre , If he bestowe but blacking of their shooes : And as it is the Spittle-houses guise , Ouer the gate to write their founders names , Or on the outside of their walles at least , In hope by their examples others moou'd . Will be more bountifull and liberall , So in the forefront of their Chronicles , Or Peroratione operis , They learnings benefactors reckon vp , Who built this colledge , who gaue that Free-schoole , What King or Queene aduaunced Schollers most , And in their times what writers flourished ; Rich men and magistrates whilest yet they liue , They flatter palpably , in hope of gayne . Smooth-tounged Orators , the fourth in place , Lawyers , our common-wealth intitles them , Meere swash-bucklers , and ruffianly mates , That will for twelue pence make a doughtie fray , Set men for strawes together by the eares . Skie measuring Mathematicians ; Golde-breathing Alcumists also we haue , Both which are subtill witted humorists , That get their meales by telling miracles , Which they haue seene in trauailing the skies , Vaine boasters , lyers , make-shifts , they are all , Men that remoued from their inkehorne termes , Bring forth no action worthie of their bread . What should I speake of pale physicions ? Who as Fismenus non nasatus was , ( Vpon a wager that his friends had laid ) Hir'de to liue in a priuie a whole yeare : So are they hir'de for lucre and for gaine , All their whole life to smell on excrements . Wil. Summer .

Very true , for I haue heard it for a prouerbe many a time and oft , Hunc os fatidum , fah , he stinkes like a phisicion .

Winter . Innumerable monstrous practises , Hath loytring contemplation brought forth more , Which t' were too long particular to recite : Suffice they all conduce vnto this end , To banish labour , nourish slothfulnesse , Pamper vp lust , deuise newfangled sinnes . Nay I will iustifie there is no vice , Which learning and vilde knowledge brought not in , Or in whose praise some learned haue not wrote . The arte of murther Machiauel hath pend : Whoredome hath Ouid to vphold her throne : And Aretine of late in Italie , Whose Cortigiana toucheth bawdes their trade . Gluttonie Epicurus doth defend , And bookes of th' arte of cookerie confirme : Of which Platina hath not writ the least . Drunkennesse of his good behauiour Hath testimoniall from where he was borne : That pleasant worke de arte bibendi , A drunken Dutchman spued out few yeares since : Nor wanteth sloth ( although sloths plague bee want ) . His paper pillers for to leane vpon , The praise of nothing pleades his worthinesse . Follie Erasmus sets a flourish on . For baldnesse , a bald asse , I haue forgot , Patcht vp a pamphletarie periwigge . Slouenrie Grobianus magnifieth : Sodomitrie a Cardinall commends , And Aristotle necessarie deemes . In briefe all bookes , diuinitie except , Are nought but tales of the diuels lawes , Poyson wrapt vp in sugred words , Mans pride , damnations props , the worlds abuse : Then censure ( good my Lord ) what bookemen are If they be pestilent members in a state ; He is vnfit to sit at sterne of state , That fauours such as will o'rethrow his state : Blest is that gouernment where no arte thriues , Vox populi , vex Dei : The vulgars voice , it is the voice of God . Yet Tully saith , Non est consilium in vulgo , non ratio , non discrimen , non differentia : The vulgar haue no learning , wit , nor sence . Themistocles hauing spent all his time In studie of Philosophie and artes , And noting well the vanitie of them , Wisht with repentance , for his follie past , Some would teach him th' arte of obliuion , How to forget the arts that he had learnd . And Cicero , whom we alleadg'd before , ( As saith Valerius ) stepping into old age , Despised learning , lothed eloquence . Naso , that could speake nothing but pure verse , And had more wit then words to vtter it , And words as choise as euer Poet had , Cride and exclaimde in bitter agonie , When knowledge had corrupted his chaste mind , Discite qui sapitis non haec qua scimus inertes , Sed trepidas acies , & fera bella sequi . You that be wise , and euer meane to thriue , O studie not these toyes we sluggards vse , But follow armes , and waite on barbarous warres . Young men , yong boyes , beware of Schoolemasters , They will infect you , marre you , bleare your eyes : They seeke to lay the curse of God on you , Namely confusion of languages , Wherewith those that the towre of Babel built , Accursed were in the worldes infancie . Latin , it was the speech of Infidels . Logique hath nought to say in a true cause . Philosophie is curiositie : And Socrates was therefore put to death , Onely for he was a Philosopher : Abhorre , contemne , despise , these damned snares . Will Summer .

Out vpon it , who would be a Scholler ? not I , I promise you : my minde alwayes gaue me , this learning was such a filthy thing , which made me hate it so as I did : when I should haue beene at schoole , construing Batte , mi fili , mi fili , mi Batte , I was close vnder a hedge , or vnder a barne wall , playing at spanne Counter , or Iacke in a boxe : my master beat me , my father beat me , my mother gaue me bread and butter , yee all this would not make me a squitter-booke . It was my destinie , I thanke her as a most courteous goddesse , that shee hath not cast me away vpon gibridge . O , in what a mightie vaine am I now against Horne-bookes ! Here before all this companie , I professe my selfe on open enemy to Inke and paper . I le make it good vpon the Accidence body , that In speech is the diuels Pater noster : Nownes and Pronounes , I pronounce you as traitors to boyes buttockes , Syntaxis and Prosodia , you are tormenters of wit , & good for nothing but to get a schoolemaster two pence a weeke . Hang copies , flye out phrase books , let pennes be turnd to picktooths : bowles , cards & dice , you are the true liberal sciēces , I le ne're be Goosequil , gentlemen , while I liue .

Summer. Winter , with patience vnto my griefe , I haue attended thy inuectiue tale : So much vntrueth wit neuer shadowed : Gainst her owne bowels thou Arts weapons turn'st : Let none beleeue thee , that will euer thriue : Words haue their course , the winde blowes where it lists ; He erres alone , in error that persists . For thou gainst Autumne such exceptions tak'st , I graunt , his ouer-seer thou shalt be , His treasurer , protector , and his staffe , He shall do nothing without thy consent ; Prouide thou for his weale , and his content . Winter . Thanks , gracious Lord . so I le dispose of him , As it shall not repent you of your gift . Autumne . On such conditions no crowne will I take . I challenge Winter for my enemie , A most insaciate miserable carle , That , to fill vp his garners to the brim , Cares not how he indammageth the earth : What pouerty he makes it to indure ! He ouer-bars the christall streames with yee , That none but he and his may drinke of them : All for a fowle Back-winter he layes vp ; Hard craggie wayes , and vncouth slippery paths He frames , that passengers may slide and fall : Who quaketh not , that heareth but his name ? O , but two sonnes he hath , worse then himselfe , Christmas the one , a pinch-back , cut-throate churle , That keepes no open house , as he should do , Delighteth in no game or fellowship , Loues no good deeds , and hateth talke , But sitteth in a corner turning Crabbes , Or coughing o're a warmed pot of Ale : Back-winter th' other , that 's his none sweet boy , Who like his father taketh in all points , An elfe it is , compact of enuious pride , A miscreant , borne for a plague to men . A monster , that deuoureth all he meetes : Were but his father dead , so he would raigne : Yea he would go goodneere , to deale by him , As Nabuchodonozors vngratious sonne , Euilmerodach by his father dealt : Who , when his sire was turned to an Oxe , Full greedily snatcht vp his soueraigntie , And thought himselfe a king without controwle . So it fell out , seuen yeares expir'de and gone , Nabuchodonozor came to his shape againe , And dispossest him of the regiment : Which my young prince no little greeuing at , When that his father shortly after dide , Fearing lest he should come from death againe , As he came from an Oxe to be a man , Wil'd that his body spoylde of couerture , Should be cast foorth into the open fieldes , For Birds and Rauens , to deuoure at will , Thinking if they bare euery one of them , A bill full of his flesh into their nests , He would not rise , to trouble him in haste . Will Summer .

A vertuous sonne , and I le lay my life on 't , he was a Caualiere and a good fellow .

Winter . Pleaseth your honor , all he sayes , is false . For my owne part I loue good husbandrie , But hate dishonourable couetize . Youth ne're aspires to vertues perfect growth , Till his wilde oates be sowne : and so the earth , Vntill his weeds be rotted , with my frosts , Is not for any seede , or tillage fit . He must be purged that hath surfeited : The fields haue surfeited with Summer fruites , They must be purg'd , made poore , opprest with snow , Ere they recouer their decayed pride , For ouerbarring of the streames with Ice . Who locks not poyson from his childrens taste ? When Winter raignes , the water is so colde , That it is poyson , present death to those That wash , or bathe their lims , in his colde streames . The slipprier that wayes are vnder vs , The better it makes vs to heed our steps , And looke e're we presume too rashly on : If that my sonnes haue misbehau'd themselues , A Gods name let them answer 't fore my Lord . Autumne . Now I beseech your honor it may be so . Summer . With all my heart : Vertumnus , go for them . Wil Summer .

This same Harry Baker is such a necessary fellow to go on arrants , as you shall not finde in a country . It is pitty but he should haue another siluer arrow , if it be but for crossing the stage , with his cap on .

Summer . To wearie out the time vntill they come , Sing me some dolefull ditty to the Lute , That may complaine my neere approching death . The Song . Adieu , farewell earths blisse , This world vncertaine is , Fond are lifes lustfull ioyes , Death proues them all but toyes , None from his darts can flye , I am sick , I must dye . Lord haue mercy on vs . Rich men , trust not in wealth , Gold cannot buy you health , Phisick himselfe must fade . All things , to end are made , The plague full swift goes hye , I am sick , I must dye , Lord haue mercy on vs . Beauty is but a flowre , Which wrinckles will deuoure , Brightnesse falls from the ayre , Queenes haue died yong , and faire , Dust hath closde Helens eye . I am sick , I must dye , Lord haue mercy on vs . Strength stoopes vnto the graue , Wormes feed on Hector braue , Swords may not fight with fate , Earth still holds ope her gate , Come , come , the bells do crye . I am sick , I must dye , Lord haue mercy on vs . Wit with his wantonnesse , Tasteth deaths bitternesse , Hels executioner , Hath no eares for to heare , What vaine art can reply . I am sick , I must dye , Lord haue mercy on vs . Haste therefore eche degree , To welcome destiny : Heauen is our heritage , Earth but a players stage , Mount wee vnto the sky . I am sick , I must dye , Lord haue mercy on vs . Summer . Beshrew mee , but thy song hath moued mee . Will Summer . Lord haue mercy on vs , how lamentable 't is ! Enter Vertumnus with Christmas and Backwinter . Vertumnus .

I haue dispatcht , my Lord , I haue brought you them you sent mee for .

Will Summer. What saist thou ? hast thou made a good batch ? I pray thee giue mee a new loafe . Summer . Christmas , how chaunce thou com'st not as the rest , Accompanied with some musique , or some song ? A merry Carroll would haue grac't thee well , Thy ancestors haue vs'd it heretofore . Christmas .

I , antiquity was the mother of ignorance : this latter world that sees but with her spectacles , hath spied a pad in those sports more then they could .

Summer . What , is 't against thy conscience for to sing ? Christmas .

No nor to say , by my troth , if I may get a good bargaine .

Summer .

Why , thou should'st spend , thou should'st not care to get . Christmas is god of hospitality .

Christmas .

So will he neuer be of good husbandry . I may say to you , there is many an old god , that is now growne out of fashion . So is the god of hospitality .

Summer . What reason canst thou giue he should be left ? Christmas .

No other reason , but that Gluttony is a sinne , & too many dunghils are infectious . A mans belly was not made for a poudring beefe tub : to feede the poore twelue dayes , & let them starue all the yeare after , would but stretch out the guts wider then they should be , & so make famine a bigger den in their bellies , then he had before . I should kill an oxe , & haue some such fellow as Milo to come and eate it vp at a mouth-full . Or like the Sybarites , do nothing all one yeare , but bid ghestes against the next yeare . The scraping of trenchers you thinke would put a man to no charges . It is not a hundreth pound a yeare would serue the scullions in dishclouts . My house stands vpon vaults , it will fall if it be ouer-loden with a multitude . Besides , haue you neuer read of a city that was vnderminde and destroyed by Mowles ? So , say I keepe hospitalitie , and a whole faire of beggers bid me to dinner euery day , what with making legges , when they thanke me at their going away , and setling their wallets handsomly on their backes , they would shake as many lice on the ground , as were able to vndermine my house , and vndoe me vtterly : It is their prayers would builde it againe , if it were ouerthrowne by this vermine , would it ? I pray , who begun feasting , and gourmandize first , but Sardanapalus , Nero , Heliogabalus , Commodus , tyrants , whoremasters , vnthrifts ? Some call them Emperours , but I respect no crownes , but crownes in the purse . Any man may weare a siluer crowne , that hath made a fray in Smithfield , & lost but a peece of his braine pan . And to tell you plaine , your golden crownes are little better in substance , and many times got after the same sort .

Summer . Grosse-headed sot , how light he makes of state ! Autumne . Who treadeth not on stars when they are fallen ? Who talketh not of states , when they are dead ? A foole conceits no further then he sees , He hath no scence of ought , but what he feeles . Christmas .

I , I , such wise men as you , come to begge at such fooles doores as we be .

Autumne . Thou shutst thy dore , how should we beg of thee ? No almes but thy sincke carries from thy house . Wil Summer .

And I can tell you , that 's as plentifull almes for the plague , as the sheriffes tub to them of Newgate .

Autumne . For feasts thou keepest none , cankers thou feedst : The wormes will curse thy flesh another day , Because it yeeldeth them no fatter pray . Christmas .

What wormes do another day I care not , but I le be sworne vpon a whole Kilderkin of single Beere , I will not haue a worme-eaten nose like a Pursiuant , while I liue . Feasts ere but puffing vp of the flesh , the purueyers for diseases , trauell , cost , time ill spent . O , it were a trim thing to send , as the Romanes did , round about the world for prouision for one banquet . I must rigge ships to Samos for Peacocks , to Paphos for Pigeons , to Austria for Oysters , to Phasis for Phesants , to Arabia for Phaenixes , to Meander for Swans , to the Orcades for Geese , to Phrigia for Woodcocks , to Malta for Cranes , to the Isle of Man for Puffins , to Ambracia for Goates , to Tartole for Lampreys , to Egypt for Dates , to Spaine for Chestnuts , and all for one feast .

Wil Summer .

O sir , you need not , you may buy them at London better cheape .

Christmas .

Liberalitas liberalitate perit , loue me a little and loue me long : our feete must haue wherewithall to feede the stones , our backs walles of wooll to keepe out the colde that besiegeth our warme blood , our doores must haue barres , our dubblets must haue buttons . Item , for an olde sword to scrape the stones before the dore with , three halfe-pence for stitching a wodden tanckard that was burst . These Water-bearers will empty the conduit and a mans coffers at once . Not a Porter that brings a man a letter , but will haue his penny . I am afraid to keepe past one or two seruants , least hungry knaues they should rob me : and those I keepe , I warrant I do not pamper vp too lusty , I keepe them vnder with red Herring and poore Iohn all the yeare long . I haue dambd vp all my chimnies for feare ( though I burne nothing but small cole ) my house should be set on fire with the smoake . I will not deny , but once in a dozen yeare when there is a great rot of sheepe , and I know not what to do with them , I keepe open house for all the beggers , in some of my out-yardes , marry they must bring bread with them , I am no Baker .

Wil Summer .

As good men as you , and haue thought no scorne to serue their prentiships on the pillory .

Summer . Winter , is this thy sonne ? hear'st how he talkes ? Winter . I am his father , therefore may not speake , But otherwise I could excuse his fault . Summer . Christmas , I tell thee plaine , thou art a snudge . And wert not that we loue thy father well , Thou shouldst haue felt , what longs to Auarice . It is the honor of Nobility , To keepe high dayes and solemne festiuals : Then , to set their magnificence to view , To frolick open with their fauorites , And vse their neighbours with all curtesie , When thou in huggar mugger spend'st thy wealth . Amend thy maners , breathe thy rusty gold : Bounty will win thee loue , when thou art old . Wil Summer .

I , that bounty would I faine meete , to borrow money of , he is fairely blest now a dayes , that scapes blowes when he begges . Verba dandi & reddendi , goe together in the Grammer rule : there is no giuing but with condition of restoring : ah Benedicite , well is he hath no necessitie of gold ne of sustenance ; slowe good hap comes by chance ; flattery best fares ; Arts are but idle wares ; faire words want giuing hands ; the Leto begs that hath no lands ; fie on thee thou scuruy knaue , that hast nought , and yet goest braue ; a prison be thy death bed , or be hangd all saue the head .

Summer . Back-winter , stand foorth . Vertum. Stand forth , stand forth , hold vp your head , speak out . Back-winter . What , should I stand ? or whether , should I go ? Summer . Autumne accuseth thee of sundry crimes , Which heere thou art to cleare , or to confesse . Back-winter . With thee , or Autumne , haue I nought to do : I would you were both hanged face to face . Summer . Is this the reuerence that thou ow'st to vs ? Back-winter . Why not ? what art thou ? Shalt thou alwayes liue ? Autumne . It is the veriest Dog in Christendome . Winter . That 's for he barkes at such a knaue as thou . Back-winter . Would I could barke the sunne out of the sky , Turne Moone and starres to frozen Meteors , And make the Ocean a dry land of Yce , With tempest of my breath , turne vp high trees , On mountaines heape vp second mounts of snowe , Which melted into water , might fall downe , As fell the deluge on the former world . I hate the ayre , the fire , the Spring , the yeare , And what so e're brings mankinde any good . O that my lookes were lightning to blast fruites ! Would I with thunder presently might dye , So I might speake in thunder , to slay men . Earth , if I cannot iniure thee enough , I le bite thee with my teeth , I le scratch thee thus , I le beate downe the partition with my heeles , Which as a mud-vault seuers hell and thee . Spirits , come vp , 't is I that knock for you , One that enuies the world , farre more then you : Come vp in millions , millions are to few , To execute the malice I intend . Summer . O scelus inauditum , O vox damnatorum ! Not raging Haecuba , whose hollow eyes Gaue sucke to fiftie sorrowes at one time , That mid wife to so many murders was , Vsde halfe the execrations that thou doost . Back-winter . More I wil vse , if more I may preuaile : Back-winter comes but seldome foorth abroad , But when he comes , he pincheth to the proofe ; Winter is milde , his sonne is rough and sterne . Ouid could well write of my tyrranny , When he was banisht to the frozen Zoane . Summer . And banisht be thou from my fertile bounds . Winter , imprison him in thy darke Cell , Or with the windes , in bellowing caues of brasse , Let sterne Hipporlatos locke him vp safe , Ne're to peepe foorth , but when thou faint and weake Want'st him to ayde thee in thy regiment . Back-winter . I will peepe foorth , thy kingdome to supplant : My father I will quickly freeze to death , And then sole Monarch will I sit and thinke , How I may banish thee , as thou doost me . Winter . I see my downefall written in his browes : Conuay him hence , to his assigned hell . Fathers are giuen to loue their sonnes too well . Wil Summer .

No by my troth , nor mothers neither , I am sure I could neuer finde it . This Back-winter playes a rayling part to no purpose , my small learning findes no reason for it , except as a Back-winter or an after winter is more raging tempestuous , and violent then the beginning of Winter , so he brings him in stamping and raging as if he were madde , when his father is a iolly milde quiet olde man , and stands still and does nothing . The court accepts of your meaning ; you might haue writ in the margent of your play-booke , Let there be a fewe rushes laide in the place where Back-winter shall tumble , for feare of raying his cloathes : or set downe , Enter Back-winter , with his boy , bringing a brush after him , to take off the dust if need require . But you will ne're haue any ward-robe wit while you liue . I pray you holde the booke well , we be not nonplus in the latter end of the play .

Summer . This is the last stroke , my toungs clock must strike , My last will , which I will that you performe : My crowne I haue disposde already of . Item , I giue my withered flowers , and herbes , Vnto dead corses , for to decke them with , My shady walkes to great mens seruitors , Who in their masters shadowes walke secure , My pleasant open ayre , and fragrant smels , To Croyden and the grounds abutting round , My heate and warmth to toyling labourers , My long dayes to bondmen , and prisoners , My short nights to young married soules , My drought and thirst , to drunkards quenchlesse throates , My fruites to Autumne my adopted heire , My murmuring springs , musicians of sweete sleepe , To murmuring male-contents , with their well tun'de cares , Channel'd in a sweete falling quaterzaine , Do lull their eares asleepe , listning themselues . And finally , O words , now clense your course , Vnto Eliza that most sacred Dame , Whom none but Saints and Angels ought to name ; All my faire dayes remaining , I bequeath To waite vpon her till she be returnd . Autumne , I charge thee , when that I am dead , Be prest and seruiceable at her beck , Present her with thy goodliest ripened fruites , Vnclothe no Arbors where she euer sate , Touch not a tree , thou thinkst she may passe by . And Winter , with thy wrythen frostie face , Smoothe vp thy visage when thou lookst on her , Thou neuer lookst on such bright maiestie : A charmed circle draw about her court , Wherein warme dayes may daunce , & no cold come , On seas let winds make warre , not vexe her rest , Quiet inclose her bed , thought flye her brest . Ah gracious Queene , though Summer pine away , Yet let thy flourishing stand at a stay , First droupe this vniuersals aged frame , E're any malady thy strength should tame : Heauen raise vp pillers to vphold thy hand , Peace may haue still his temple in thy land . Loe , I haue said , this is the totall summe . Autumne and Winter , on your faithfulnesse , For the performance I do firmely builde . Farewell , my friends , Summer bids you farewell , Archers , and bowlers , all my followers , A dieu , and dwell with desolation , Silence must be your masters mansion : Slow marching thus , discend I to the feends . Weepe heauens , mourne earth , here Summer ends . Heere the Satyres and Wood-nimphes carry him out , singing as he came in . The Song . Autumne hath all the Summers fruitefull treasure , Gone is our sport , fled is poore Croydens pleasure : Short dayes , sharpe dayes , long nights come on a pace , Ah who shall hide vs , from the Winters face ? Colde dooth increase , the sicknesse will not cease , And here we lye God knowes , with little ease : From winter , plague & pestilence , good Lord deliuer vs . London dooth mourne , Lambith is quite forlorne , Trades cry , Woe worth , that euer they were borne : The want of Terme , is towne and Cities harms , Close chambers we do want , to keepe vs warme , Long banished must we liue from our friends : This lowe built house , will bring vs to our ends . From winter , plague & pestilence , good Lord deliuer vs . WilSummer .

How is 't ? how is 't ? you that be of the grauer sort , do you thinke these youths worthy of a Plaudite for praying for the Queene , and singing of the Letany ? they are poore fellowes I must needes say , and haue bestowed great labour in sowing leaues , and grasse , and strawe , and mosse vpon cast suites . You may do well to warme your hands with clapping , before you go to bed , and send them to the tauerne with merry hearts . Here is a pretty boy comes with an Epilogue , to get Enter a little boy with an Epilogue . him audacity . I pray you sit still a little , and heare him say his lesson without booke . It is a good boy , be not afraide , turne thy face to my Lord . Thou and I will play at poutch , to morrow morning for a breakfast . Come and sit on my knee , and I le daunce thee , if thou canst not indure to stand .