A wife novv the widdow of Sir Thomas Overburye Being a most exquisite and singular poem of the choice of a wife. Whereunto are added many witty characters, and conceited newes, written by himselfe and other learned gentlemen his friends.

A WIFE NOW The Widdow OF SIR THOMAS OVERBVRYE .

Being A most exquisite and singular Poem of the choice of a Wife .

WHEREVNTO ARE ADDED many witty Characters , and conceited Newes , written by himselfe and other learned Gentlemen his friends .

Dignum laude virum musa vetat mori , Coelo musa beat . Hor: car : lib. 3.

LONDON Printed for Lawrence Lisle , and are to bee sold at his shop in Paules Church-yard , at the signe of the Tigers head . 1614.

THE PRINTER TO the Reader .

THY ignorance may challenge libertie enough , not to relish the deepe Arte of Poetry : because opinion makes thee obstinate ; and rude tradition hath taught thee nothing but an abuse of knowledge . For when thou readest a quaffing fellowes barbarisme , a worthy-written stile in Tragedies , and a collusiue flourish onely fronted with the name of excellent ; thou ouer-lookst them all with the vsuall contempt or aspersion of friuolous , and fantasticke labours , putting no difference betwixt the horse pictured on a signe-post , and the curious limbd Pegasus : But the age giues one comfort in extremitie , that as there is a Lizard which assailes ; so is there one , which wonders at the maiestie of man : sure I am if any shall neglect , nay not commend the worth of this so generally approued Poem ; he may ( if it proceeds from nice critiscisme ) bee well excluded as a churlish retainer to the Muses ; ( if from a direct plaine dealing ) he must be degraded for insufficiencie . For had such a volume been extant among the ancient Romanes , though they wanted our easie conseruations of wit , by printing ; yet would they rather , and more easily , haue committed the sense hereof to brasse , and cedar leaues , then let such an Author , haue lost his due eternitie . If to converse with a creature so amiable , heere described , be thought more then difficult , let then the contemplation of it be admirable , which hath expressed the soule in so compact aforme of body . The surplusage , that now exceeds the last edition , was ( that I may bee honestly impartiall ) in some things only to be challenged by the first author , but others now added , ( little inferior to the residue ) being in nature answerable , and first transcrib'd by Gentlemen of the same qualitie , I haue vpon good inducements , made publike with warrantie of their and my owne credit . Not doubting therefore to be doubly discharged , both by the verdict of conscience and the well-deserued thankes of all iudicious Readers , I bid you euery one farewell , May 16. 1614.

A MORNING-SACRIFICE to the Author . THe only curse or blessing that betides To men , ( made doubtful ) by their beauteous brides , Could neuer ( being apparent ) satisfie The full enioyer , with satietie Of confidence , to call them good , or bad , So much ; as this good worke ( which chiefly had A faire creation , to create anew The soule of some , and to confirme some few ) Hath rescued shamelesse iudgment from the suit Of meere opinion , and speakes absolute . This widdow booke then , wife to rauish'd skill , Married and made by the most maiden quill Of one , not lost to her , though she to him , Hath leaue to liue thus single ; richly trim , Yet neuer to be challeng'd ; being so chaste In puritie , and not to be imbrac't Without the reuerence of hir wedlocks loue ; Which when thou seem'st vnwilling to approue , Scorne a compleat faire woman ; and so grudge Because thou hast no libertie to iudge . Nor , let thy glorious confidence presume , To make this Lady plyant , through perfume Ospowdred phrase , and robes , or complement ; For though on pilgrimage thy learning went In quest of such a wonder , yet thy paines Were lost , although thy labri'ng suit obtaines : For woman ( in the abstract ) hath no more Then hath the wife , the widdow , maiden , whore , And altogether ; therefore thou hast none , Except thy labours purchase such a one : Which ( to haue said ) they all agreed in Eue Is all enough ; if iealous man beleene . By I. S. Lincolniensis Gentleman .

Briefe Panegyrickes to the Authors praise .

To the Booke . EXpos'd to all thou wilt lesse worthy seeme I feare : wiues common , all men disesteeme ; Yet some things haue a differing fate : some fret We doubt in wares which are in corners set : Hid medalls rust , which being vsd grow bright ; The day more friendeth vertue then the night Thou though more common , then maist seeme more good I onely wish thou mayst be vnderstood . G. R.

TO make a Wife of wit , or meere Philosophie , And deck her vp with flowers of sweetest poesie , Is no hard taske , but such a one of flesh to find Would weary all the wits and bodies of mankind : Since worse must serue the turne , then men must bee content To take such as they find , not such as they invent . T. B.

WEll hast thou said that woman should be such ; And were they that , had but a third as much I would be maried too : but that I know Not what shee is , but should be thou dost show : So let me praise thy worke , and let my life Be single , or thy widow be my wife . X. Z.

Of the choice of a Wife . IF I were to chuse a woman , As who knowes but I may marry , I would trust the eye of no man Nor a tongue that may miscarry : For in way of loue and glory Each tongue best tells his own storie . First to make my choice the bolder I would haue her child to such Whose free vertuous liues are older Then antiquitie can touch , For t is seldom seen that bloud Giues a beauty great and good . Yet an ancient stocke may bring Branches I confesse of worth , Like rich mantles shadowing Those descents that brought them forth , Yet such hills though gilded show Soonest feele the age of snow . Therefore to preuent such care That repentance soone may bring , Like Merchants I would chuse my ware , Vse-full good , not glittering . He that weds for state or face Buyes a horse to loose a race . Yet I would haue her faire as any , But her owne not kist away : I would haue her free to many Looke on all like equall day , But descending to the Sea Make her set with none but me . If she be not tall t is better , For that word , A goodly woman , Prints it selfe in such a letter That it leaues vnstudied no man ; I would haue my mistresse grow Only tall to answer no. Yet I would not haue her loose So much breeding as to fling Vnbecomming scorne on those That must worship euery thing . Let her feare loose lookes to scatter , And loose men will feare to flatter . Children I would haue her beare More for loue of name then bed , So each child I haue is heire To another maidenhead ; For shee that in the act 's afraid Euery night 's another maide . Such a one as when shee 's wood Blushes not for ill thoughts past , But so innocently good That her dreames are euer chaste ; For that maide that thinks a sin Has betrai'd the fort shee 's in . In my visitation still I would haue her scatter feares , How this man , and that was ill ; After protestations teares ; And who vowes a constant life Crownes a meritorious wife . When the Priest first giues our hands , I would haue her thinke but thus : In what high and holy bands Heauen , like twins , hath planted vs , That like Aarons rod together Both may bud , grow green , and wither . FINIS .

THE METHOD .

FIrst of Mariage , and the effect thereof , children . Then of his contrarie , Lust ; then for his choice . First , his opinion negatiuely , what should not be : the first causes in it , that is , neither Beauty , Birth , nor Portion . Then affirmatiuely , what should bee , of which kind there are fower : Goodnesse , Knowledge , Discretion , and as a second thing Beauty . The first onely is absolutely good , the other being built vpon the first doe likewise become so . Then the application of that woman by loue to himselfe , which makes her a wife . And lastly the only condition of a wife , Fitnesse .

A Wife . EAch Woman is a briefe of Woman-kind , And doth in little euen as much containe ; As , in one Day & Night , all life we find , Of either , More , is but the same againe , God fram'd Her so , that to Her husband , She , As Eue , should all the world of Women be . So fram'd he Both , that neither power he gaue , Vse of themselues , but by exchange , to make : Whence in their Face the Fayre no pleasure haue , But by refl●xe of what thence other take : Our Lips in their owne Kisse no pleasure find , Toward their proper Face , our Eyes are blind . So God in Eue did perfit Man , begun , Till then , in vaine much of himselfe he had , In Adam God created onely one , Eue , and the world to come in Eue he made ; We are two halfes , whiles each from other straies , Both barren are ; Ioyn'd both their like can raise . At first both Sexes were in Man combin'de , Man , a Shee-man did in his body breed ; Adam was Eues , Eue mother of Mankinde , Eue from Liue-flesh , Man did from Dust proceed , One thus made two , Mariage doth revnite , And makes them both but one Hermaphrodite . Man did but the well-being of his life From woman take , her Being she from Man , And therefore Eue created was a Wife , And at the end of all , her Sex began : Mariage their obiect is ; their Being then , And now Perfection , they receiue from Men. Mariage , to all , whose ioyes two parties be , And doubled are by boing parted so , Wherein the very act is chastitie , Whereby two Soules into one Body goe , It makes two one , whiles heere they liuing be , And after death in their Posteritie . God to each Man a priuate woman gaue , That in that Center his desires might stint , That he a comfort like himselfe might haue , And that on her his like he might imprint . Double is Womans vse , part of their end Doth on this Age , part on the next depend . We are but part of Time , yet cannot die , Till we the world a fresh supply haue lent , Children are Bodies sole Eternitie ; Nature is Gods , Art is Mans instrument . Now all Mans Art but only dead things makes , But here in Man in things of life partakes . For wandring Lust ; I know t is infinite , It still begins , and addes not more to more , The guilt is euerlasting , the delight , This instant doth not feele of that before . The taste of it is only in the Sense , The operation , in the Conscience . Woman is not Lusts bounds , but Woman-kind . One is Loues number , who from that doth fall , Hath lost his hold , and no new rost shall find , Vice hath no meane , but not to be at all ; A wife is that Enough , Lust cannot find , For Lust is still with want , or too-much pinde . Bate Lust the Sin , my share is eu'n with his , For Not to Lust , and to Enioy is one : And More or Lesse past , equall Nothing is , I still haue one , Lust one at once alone : And though the woman often changed be , Yet Hee 's the same without varietie . Mariage our Lust ( as t were with fuell fire ) Doth , with a medicine of the same , allay ; And not forbid , but rectifie desire . My selfe I cannot chuse , my wife I may : And , in the choice of Her , it much doth lye , To mend my selfe in my Posteritie . O rather let me Loue , then be in Loue , So let me chuse as Wife and Friend to find . Let me forget hir Sex when I approue . Beasts likenesse lyes in shape , but ours in minde : Our soules no Sexes haue , their Loue is cleane , No Sex , both in the better part are Men. But Phisicke for our lust their Bodies be , But matter fit to shew our Loue vpon , But onely Shells for our posteritie , Their soules were giu'n lest man should be alone ; For , but the Soules interpreters , words be , Without which Bodies are no Companie . That goodly frame we see of Flesh and bloud , Their Fashion is , not weight , it is I say But their Laye-part , but well digested food ; T is but twixt Dust , and Dust , Life's middle way : The worth of it is nothing that is seene , But only that it holds a Soule within . And all the carnall Beauty of my wife , Is but skin-deep , but to two Senses knowne ; Short euen of Pictures , shorter liu'd then Life , And yet the loue suruiues that's built thereon : For our Imagination is too high , For Bodies when they meet to satisfie . All Shapes , all Colours are alike in Night , Nor doth our Touch distinguish foule or faire : But Mans imagination , and his sight ; And those , but the first weeke , by Custome are Both made alike , which diffred at first view ; Nor can that diffrence , Absence much renew . Nor can that Beauty lying in the Face , But meerely by imagination be Enioy'd by vs in an inferior place . Nor can that Beauty by enioying we Make ours become , so our desire growes tame : We changed are , but it remaines the same . Birth , lesse then beauty , shall my reason blinde , Hir birth goes to my Children , not to me . Rather had I that actiue gentry finde , Vertue , then passiue from hir Auncestrie ; Rather in her aliue one vertue see , Then all the rest dead in her Pedigree . In the Degrees , high rather be shee plac't , Of Nature then of Art and Pollicie . Gentry is but a relique of Time-past , And Loue doth only but the present see ; Things were first made then words : She were the same , With , or without , that title or that name . As for ( the oddes of Sexes ) Portion ; Nor will I shun it , nor my ayme it make . Birth , Beauty , Weal●h , are nothing worth alone , All these I would for good Additions take , Not for Good Parts ; those two are ill combind , Whom any third thing from themselues hath ioynd . Rather then these , the obiect of my Loue Let it be Good , when these with vertue goe , They ( in themselues indiffrent , ) vertues proue . For Good ( like Fire ) turnes all things to be so . Gods Image in Her Soule , ô let me place My Loue vpon , not Adams in Her Face . Good , is a fairer attribute then White , T is the Mind's beauty keeps the other sweet : That 's not still one , nor mortall with the light , Nor glasse , nor painting can it counterfet , Shee s truly faire , whose beauty is vnseen Like heau'n faire sight-ward , but more faire within . By Good , I would haue Holy vnderstood , So God Shee cannot loue , but also mee , The law requires our words , and deeds be good , Religion euen the Thoughts doth sanctifie : And shee is more a Maide which rauish't is , Then Shee which only doth but wish amisse . Lust only by Religion is withstood , Lusts obiect is aliue , his strength within , Moralitie resists but in cold bloud , Respect of Credit feareth shame not sin . But no place darke enough for such offence She findes , that 's watch't by her owne Conscience . Then may I trust Her Body with her Mind , And , therevpon secure , need neuer know The pangs of Ielousie : and Loue doth find More paine to doubt her false , then know her so ; For Patience is of euills that are known , The certaine Remedie ; but Doubt hath none . And be that Thought once stirr'd 't will neuer die , Nor will the griefe more milde by Custome proue ; Nor yet amendment can it satisfie , The anguish more or lesse is as our Loue : This miserie doth Ielousie ensue , That we may proue Her false , but cannot True . Suspition may the will of Lust restraine , But Good preuents from hauing such a will , A Wife that 's Good , doth Chaste and more containe , For Chaste is but an Abstinence from ill : And in a Wife that 's Bad , although the best Of qualities ; yet in a Good the least . To barre the meanes is Care , not Ielousie . Some lawfull things to be auoyded are , When , they occasion of vnlawfull be . Lest ere it hurts is best descride afarre . Lust is a sinne of two ; he that is sure Of either part , may be of both secure . Giue me next Good , an vnderstanding Wife , By Nature wise , not learned by much Art , Some knowledge on Hir side will all my life More scope of Conversation impart , Besides , Her inborne vertue fortifie . They are most firmely good , that best know why . A passiue vnderstanding to conceiue , And Iudgment to discerne , I wish to find , Beyond that , all as hazardous I leaue , Learning and pregnant wit in Woman-kind , What it findes malleable maketh fraile , And doth not adde more ballaste , but more saile . Bookes are a part of Mans prerogatiue , In formall Inck they Thoughts and Voyces hold , That we to them our solitude may giue , And make Time-present trauaile that of old . Our Life , Fame p●eceth longer at the end , And Bookes it farther backward doe extend . Domesticke Charge doth best that Sex befit , Contiguous buisnes , so to fixe the Mind , That Leasure space for Fancies not admit : Their Leasure t is corrupteth Woman-kind , Else being plac'd from many vices free , They had to heau'n a shorter cut then we . As good , and knowing , let her be Discreet . That to the others weight , doth Fashion bring , Discretion doth consider what is Fit , Goodnesse but what is lawfull , but the Thing Not Circumstances ; Learning is and wit , In Men but curious folly without it . To keep their Name when 't is in others hands Discretion askes , their Credit is by farre More fraile then They , on likelyhoods it stands , And hard to be disprou'd Lust's slanders are . Their Carriage , not their Chastitie alone , Must keep their Name chast from suspition . Womens Behauiour is a surer barre Then is their No : That fairely doth deny Without denying , thereby kept they are Safe eu'n from Hope ; in part to blame is shee , Which hath without consent bin only tride ; He comes too neere , that comes to be denide . Now since a Woman we to Marie are , A Soule , and Body , not a Soule alone ; When one is Good , then be the other Faire , Beauty is Health and Beauty both in one , Be Shee so faire as change can yeeld no gaine , So faire , as Shee most Women else containe . At least so Faire let me imagine Her , That thought to me is Truth ; Opinion Cannot in matter of opinion erre ; With no Eyes shall I see her but mine owne , And as my Fancie Her conceiues to be , Euen such my Sences both , do Feele , and See . The Face we may the seate of Beauty call , In it the relish of the rest doth lye , Nay eu'n a figure of the Minde withall : And of the Face the Life moues in the Eye ; No things else being two so like we see , So like , that they two but in Number be . Beauty in decent shape , and Colours lies , Colours the matter are , and shape the Soule ; The Soule which from no single part doth rise , But from the iust proportion of the whole , And is a meere spirituall harmonie , Of eu'ry part vnited in the Eye . Loue is a kinde of Superstition , Which feares the Idoll which it-selfe hath fram'd , Lust a Desire , which rather from his owne Temper , then from the obiect is enflam'd ; Beauty is Loues obiect , Woman Lust's , to gaine Loue , Loue Desires , Lust only to obtaine . No circumstance doth Beauty beautifie , Like gracefull Fashion , natiue Gomelinesse , Nay eu'n gets pardon for Deformitie ; Art cannot it beget , but may encrease , When Nature had fixt Beauty perfect made , Something shee left for Motion to adde . But let that Fashion more to Modestie Tend , then Assurance ; Modestie doth set The face in his iust place , from Passions free , T is both the Mindes , and Bodies Beauty met ; But Modestie ; no vertue can we see ; That is the Faces only Chastitie . Where goodnes failes , twixt ill and ill that stands : Whence t is that women though they weaker be , And their desires more strong , yet on their hands The Chastitie of men doth often lie : Lust would more common be then any one , Could it like other sinnes be done alone . All these good parts a Perfect woman make , Adde Loue to me , they make a Perfect Wife , Without Hir Loue , Hir Beauty should I take As that of Pictures , dead , That giues it life : Till then Her Beauty like the Sunne doth shine A like to all ; That makes it only mine . And of that Loue , let Reason Father be , And Passion Mother ; let it from the one His Being take , the other his Degree ; Selfe loue ( which second Loues are built vpon , ) Will make me ( if not Her ) her Loue respect ; No Man but fauours his owne worths effect . As Good , and wise , so be Shee Fit for mee , That is , To will , and Not to will the same , My Wife is my Adopted-Selfe , and Shee As Mee , so what I loue , to Loue must frame . For when by Mariage both in one concurre , Woman converts to Man , not Man to her . FINIS

The Authors Epitaph . THe Span of my daies measur'd , heere I rest , That is my body ; but my soule his guest Is hence ascended , whither , neither Time , Nor Faith , nor Hope , but only loue can claime ; Where being now inlightned , Shee doth know The Truth of all men argue of below : Only this dust doth here in Pawne remaine , That when the world dissolues shee come againe .

CHARACTERS , OR Witty Descriptions of the properties of sundry Persons .

A good Woman .

A Good Woman is a comfort , like a Man . Shee lacks of him nothing but heat . Thence is her sweetnes of disposition , which meets his stoutnes more pleasantly ; so wooll meets iron easier then iron , and turnes resisting into embracing . Hir greatest learning is religion , and her thoughts are on her owne Sexe , or on men , without casting the difference . Dishonestie neuer comes neerer than her eares , and then wonder stops it out , and saues vertue the labour . Shee leaues the neat youth telling his lushious tales , and puts backe the Seruingmans putting forward with a frowne : yet her kindnesse is free enough to be seene ; for it hath no guilt about it : and her mirth is cleare , that you may looke through it , into vertue , but not beyond . She hath not behauiour at a certaine , but makes it to her occasion . She hath so much knowledge as to loue it , and if shee haue it not at home ; she will fetch it ; for this sometimes in a pleasant discontent shee dares chide her Sexe , though shee vse it neuer the worse . Shee is much within , and frames outward things to her minde , not her minde to them . Shee weares good clothes , but neuer better ; for shee finds no degree beyond Decencie . Shee hath a content of her owne , and so seekes not a husband , but finds him . Shee is indeed most , but not much to description , for shee is direct and one , and hath not the varietie of ill . Now shee is giuen fresh and aliue to a husband , and shee doth nothing more than loue him , for shee takes him to that purpose . So his good becomes the businesse of her actions , and shee doth her selfe kindnesse vpon him . After his , her chiefest vertue is a good husband . For Shee is Hee .

A very very Woman .

A Very very Woman , is a dow-bakt man , or a Shee ment well towards man , but fell the two bowes short strength & vnderstanding . Her virtue is the hedge of Modestie , that keeps a man from clyming ouer into her faults . Shee simpers as if shee had no teeth , but lips , and shee deuides her eyes and keeps halfe for her selfe , and giues th' other to her near Youth . Being set downe shee casts her face into a platforme , which dureth the meale , and is taken away with the voyder . Her draught reacheth to good manners , not to thirst , and it is a part of their misterie not to professe hunger ; but Nature takes her in priuate and stretcheth her vpon meat . She is Mariageable and Fourteene at once ; and after shee doth not liue but tarry . Shee reads ouer her face euery morning , and somtime blots out pale , and writes red . Shee thinks shee is faire , though many times her opinion goes alone , and shee loues her glasse and the knight of the Sunne for lying . Shee is hid away all but her face , and that 's hang'd about with toyes and deuices , like the signe of a Tauerne to draw Strangers . If shee shew more , shee preuents desire , and by too free-giuing , leaues no Gift . Shee may escape from the Seruingman , but not from the chambermaide . Shee commits with her eares for certaine , after that shee may goe for a Maide , but shee hath been lyen with in her vnderstanding . Her Philosophie is a seming neglect of those , that be too good for her . Shee 's a younger brother for her portion , but not for her portion of wit , that comes from her in a treble , which is still too big for it ; yet her Vanitie seldome matcheth her , with one of her owne degree , for then shee will beget another creature a begger , and commonly if shee marry better , shee marries worse . Shee gets much by the simplicitie of her Sutor , and for a iest , laughes at him without one . Thus shee dresses a husband for her selfe , and after takes him for his patience , and the land adioyning , yee may see it , in a Seruingmans fresh naperie , and his leg steps into an vnknowne stocking . I need not speake of his garters , the tassell shewes it selfe . If shee loue shee loue , she loues not the man but the beast of him . Shee is Salomons cruell creature , and a mans walking consumption : euery caudle shee giues him , is a purge . Hir chiefe commendation is , she brings a man to repentance .

Her next part .

Her lightnesse gets her to swim at top of the Table , where her wry little singer , bewrayes caruing ; her neighbours at the latter end , know they are welcome , and for that purpose shee quencheth her thirst . Shee trauels to and among , and so becomes a woman of good entertainment , for all the folly in the country , comes in cleane linnen to visit her ; shee breakes to them her griefe in sugar cakes , and receiues from their mouthes in exchange , many stories that conclude to no purpose . Her eldest Sonne is like her howsoeuer , and that dispraiseth him best : her vtmost drift , is to turne him foole , which commonly she obtaines at the yeares of discretion . Shee takes a iourney somtimes to her neeces house , but neuer thinks beyond London . Her Deuotion is good clothes , they carry her to Church , expresse their stuffe and fashion , and are silent ; if shee be more deuout , shee lifts vp a certaine number of eyes , in stead of prayers , and takes the Sermon and measures out a nap by it , iust as long . Shee sends Religion afore to Sixtie , where she neuer ouertakes it , or driues it before her againe . Her most necessarie instruments , are a waiting-Gentlewoman , and a chamber-maide , shee weares her Gentlewoman still , but most often leaues th' other in her chamber window . She hath a litle Kennell in her lap , and she smells the sweeter for it . The vtmost reach of her Prouidence , is the fatnesse of a Capon , and her greatest enuie , is the next Gentlewomans better gowne . Her most commendable skill , is to make her husbands fustian beare her veluet . This shee doth many times ouer , and then is deliuered to old age and a chaire , where euery body leaues her .

A Dissembler

IS an essence needing a double definition , for hee is not that hee appeares . Vnto the eye hee is pleasing , vnto the eare not harsh , but vnto the vnderstanding intricate , and full of windings : he is the prima materia , and his intents giue him forme : he dieth his meanes and his meaning into two colors , he baites craft with humilitie , and his countenance is the picture of the present dispositions . Hee winnes not by battry , but vndermining , and his racke is soothing . He allures , is not allur'd by his affections , for they are the brokers of his obseruation . Hee knowes passion onely by sufferance , and resisteth by obeying . Hee makes his time an accomptant to his memorie , and of the humors of men weaues a net for occasion ; the inquisitor must looke through his iudgment , for to the eye only he is not visible .

A Courtier

TO all mens thinking is a man , and to most men the finest : all things else are defined by the vnderstanding , but this by the sences ; but his surest marke is , that hee is to bee found onely about Princes . Hee smells ; and putteth away much of his iudgement about the scituation of his clothes . Hee knowes no man that is not generally knowne . His wit , like the Marigold , openeth with the Sunne , and therefore hee riseth not before ten of the clocke . Hee puts more confidence in his words than meaning , and more in his pronuntiation than his words . Occasion is his Cupid , and hee hath but one receipt of making loue . Hee followes nothing but inconstancie , admires nothing but beauty , honours nothing but fortune . Loues nothing . The sustenance of his discourse is newes , and his censure like a shot depends vpon the charging . Hee is not , if he be out of Court , but fish-like breathes destruction , if out of his owne element . Neither his motion , or aspect are regular , but hee mooues by the vpper Spheres , and is the reflexion of higher substances . If you finde him not heere , you shall in Paules , with a pick-tooth in his hat , a cape cloke , and a long stocking .

A golden Asse

IS a young thing , whose Father went to the Deuill ; he is followed like a salt bitch , and lymb'd by him that gets vp first ; his disposition is cut , and knaues rent him like tenter-hookes : hee is as blind as his mother , and swallowes flatterers for friends . He is high in his owne imagination , but that imagination is a stone , that is raised by violence , descends naturally ; when hee goes , he lookes who lookes , if he finds not good store of vaylers , he comes home stiffe and seere vntill hee be new oyled and watered by his husbandmen . Wheresoeuer hee eats , hee hath an officer to warne men not to talke out of his e●●ment , and his owne is exceeding sensible , because it is sensuall ; but he cannot exchange a peece of reason , though hee can a peece of gold . Hee is naught pluckt , for his feathers are his beauty , and more then his beauty , they are his discretion , his countenance , his All. He is now at an end , for hee hath had the wolfe of vaine-glory , which he fed vntill himselfe became the food .

A Flatterer

IS the shadow of a foole . Hee is a good wood-man , for he singleth out none but the wealthy . His cariage is euer of the colour of his patient ; and for his sake he will halt or weare a wry neck . Hee dispraiseh nothing but pouertie , and small drinke , and praiseth his grace of making water . Hee selleth himselfe with reckoning his great Friends , and teacheth the present how to win his praises by reciting the others gifts : hee is ready for all employments , but especially before dinner , for his courage and his stomacke goe together . Hee will play any part vpon his countenance , and where hee cannot be admitted for a counseller , hee will serue as foole . Hee frequents the court of wards and ordinaries , and fits these guests of Togae virilis , with wiues or whores . Hee entreth young men into acquaintance and debt bookes . In a word , hee is the impression of the last terme , and will be so , vntill the comming of a new terme or termer .

Anignorant glory-hunter

IS an insecta animalia ; for he is the maggot of opinion , his behavuiour is another thing from himselfe , and is glewed , and but set on . Hee entertaines men with repetitions , and returnes them their owne words . Hee is ignorant of nothing , no not of those things , where ignorance is the lesser shame . He gets the names of good wits , and vtters them for his companions . Hee confesseth vices that he is guiltlesse of , if they bee in fashion ; and dares not salute a man in old clothes , or out of fashion . There is not a publike assembly without him , and hee will take any paines for an acquaintance there . In any shew hee will be one , though hee be but a whistler or a torch-bearer ; and beares downe strangers with the storie of his actions . He handles nothing that is not rare , and defends his wardrope , diet , and all customes , with entitling their beginnings from Princes , great Souldiers , and strange Nations . He dares speake more than he vnderstands , and adventures his words without the reliefe of any seconds . He relates battels and skirmishes , as from an eye witnes , when his eyes theeuishly beguiled a ballad of them . In a word , to make sure of admiration , he will not let himselfe vnderstand himselfe , but hopes fame and opinion , will be the Readers of his Riddles .

A Tymist

IS a noune Adiectiue of the present tense . He hath no more of a conscience then Feare , and his religion is not his but the Princes . He reuerenceth a Courtiers Seruants seruant . Is first his owne Slaue , and then whosoeuer looketh big ; when hee giues hee curseth , and when he sells he worships . He reads the statutes in his chamber , and weares the Bible in the streets ; hee neuer praiseth any but before themselues or friends ; and mislikes no great mans actions during his life . His new-yeares gifts are ready at Allhalomas , and the sute he ment to mediate before them . He pleaseth the children of great men , and promiseth to adopt them ; and his curtesie extends it selfe euen to the stable . Hee straines to talke wisely , and his modestie would serue a Bride . Hee is grauitie from the head to the foot , but not from the head to the heart ; you may finde what place he affecteth , for he creepes as neere it as may be , and as passionately courts it ; if at any time his hopes are effected , hee swelleth with them ; and they burst out too good for the vessell . In a word , hee danceth to the tune of Fortune , and studies for nothing but to keepe time .

An Amorist

IS a creature blasted or planet-stroken , and is the dog that leads blind Cupid ; when hee is at the best , his fashion exceeds the worth of his weight . He is neuer without verses , and muske comfects : and sighes to the hazard of his buttons ; his eyes are all white , either to weare the liuery of his Mistres complexion , or to keep Cupid from hitting the blacke . He fights with passion , and looseth much of his bloud by his weapon ; dreames , thence his palenes . His armes are carelesly vsed , as if their best vse were nothing but embracements . He is vntrust and vnbuttoned , vngartred , not out of carelesnes , but care ; his farthest end being but going to bed . Somtimes he wraps his petition in neatnes , but it goeth not alone , for then he makes some other qualitie moralize his affection , and his trimnes is the grace of that grace . Hir fauour lifts him vp as the Sunne moisture ; when she disfauours , vnable to hold that happinesse , it falls down in teares ; his fingers are his Orators , and he expresseth much of himselfe vpon some instrument . He answers not , or not to the purpose ; and no maruell , for he is not at home . He scocheth time with dancing with his Mistres , taking vp of hir gloue , & wearing hir feather ; he is confinde to hir colour , & dares not passe out of the circuit of hir memorie . His imagination is a foole , and it goeth in a pied-coat of red and white ; shortly hee is translated out of a man into folly ; his imagination is the glasse of lust , and himselfe the traitor to his own disceretion .

An affected Traueller

IS a speaking fashion ; he hath taken paines to bee ridiculous , and hath seen more then he hath perceiued . His attire speakes French or Italian , and his gate cryes Behold mee . Hee censures all things by countenances , and shrugs , and speakes his owne language with shame and lisping : he will choake rather than confesse Beere good drinke : and his pick-tooth is a maine part of his behauiour . Hee chooseth rather to be counted a Spie , then not a Polititian : and maintaines his reputation by naming great men familiarly . He chooseth rather to tell lyes then not wonders , and talkes with men singly ; his discourse sounds big but meanes nothing : and his boy is bound to admire him howsoeuer . He comes still from great personages , but goes with meane . He takes occasion to shew lewells giuen him in regard of his vertue , that were bought in S. Martins , and not long after , hauing with a Mountebaneks method , pronounced them worth thousands , empawneth them for a few shillings . Vpon festiuall daies he goes to Court , and salutes without re-saluting : at night in an Ordinarie hee confesseth the businesse in hand , and seemes as conversant with all intents and plots , as if he begot them . His extraordinary accompt of men is , first to tell them the ends of all matters of consequence , and then to borrow mony of them ; hee offereth curtesies , to shew them , rather then himselfe humble . He disdaines all things aboue his reach , and preferreth all Countries before his owne . Hee imputeth his wants and pouertie to the ignorance of the time , not his owne vnworthines : and concludes his discourse with a halfe period , or a word , and leaues the rest to imagination . In a word , his religion is fashion , and both body and soule are gouerned by same , he loues most voices aboue truth .

A Wise-man

IS the truth of the true definition of man , that is , a reasonable creature . His disposition alters , alters not . He hides himselfe with the attire of the vulgar ; and in indifferent things is content to be gouerned by them . He lookes according to nature , so goes his behauiour . His mind enioyes a continuall smoothnesse , so cometh it , that his consideration is alwaies at home . Hee endures the faults of all men silently , except his friends , and to them hee is the mirrour of their actions ; by this meanes his peace commeth not from fortune , but himselfe . He is cunning in men , not to surprise but keepe his owne , and beats off their ill affected humours , no otherwise then if they were flies . Hee chooseth not friends by the subsidie booke , and is not luxurious after acquaintance . Hee maintaines the strength of his body , not by delicacies , but temperance ; and his minde by giuing it preheminence ouer his body . Hee vnderstands things not by their forme , but qualities ; and his comparisons intend not to excuse , but to prouoke him higher . Hee is not subiect to casualties , for fortune hath nothing to doe with the minde , except those drowned in the body : but he hath diuided his soule , from the case of his soule , whose weaknesse he assists no otherwise than commiseratiuely , not that it is his , but that it is . Hee is thus , and will be thus : and liues subiect neither to time nor his frailties ; the seruant of vertue , and by vertue the friend of the highest .

A noble Spirit

HAth surueyed and fortified his disposition , and converts all occurrents into experience , between which experience and his reason , there is a mariage ; the issue are his actions . He circuits his intents , and seeth the end before he shoot . Men are the instruments of his Art , and there is no man without his vse : occasion encites him , none enticeth him ; and hee mooues by affection , not for affection ; hee loues glory , skornes shame , and gouerneth and obeyeth with one countenance ; for it comes from one consideration . He calls not the varietie of the world chances , for his meditation hath trauailed ouer them ; and his eye mounted vpon his vnderstanding seeth them as things vnderneath . Hee couers not his bodie with delicacies , nor excuseth these delicacies by his bodie , but teacheth it , since it is not able to defend it 's owne imbecilitie to shew or suffer . He licenseth not his weaknes , to weare fate , but knowing reason to be no idle gift of nature , he is the Steeres-man of his owne destinie . Truth is his Goddesse , and hee takes pains to get her , not to looke like hir . He knowes the condition of the world , that he must act one thing by another , and then another . To these he carries his desires , not his desires him ; and stickes not fast by the way ( for that contentment is repentance ) but knowing the circle of all courses , of all intents , of all things , to haue but one center or period , without all distraction he hasteth thither and ends there , as his true and naturall element . Hee doth not contemne fortune , but not confesse her . He is no Gamster of the world ( which onely complaine and praise her ) but being only sensible of the honestie of actions , contemnes a particular profit as the excrement or skum . Vnto the societie of men hee is a Sunne , whose clearenesse directs their steps in a regular motion : when he is more particular , hee is the wise-mans freind , the example of the indifferent , the medicine of the vicious . Thus time goeth not from him , but with him : and he feeles age more by the strength of his soule , than the weaknesse of his body : thus feeles he not paine , but esteemes all such things as frends that desire to file off his fetters , and helpe him out of prison .

An old Man

IS a thing that hath been a man in his daies . Old men are to bee knowne blindfolded : for their talke is as terrible as their resemblance . They praise their owne times as vehemently , as if they would sell them . They become wrinckled with frowning and facing youth : they admire their owne customes , euen to the eating of red herring , and going wet-shod . They call the thombe vnder the girdle grauitie , and because they can hardly smel at all , their posies are vnder their girdles . They count it an ornament of speech , to close the period with a cough ; and it is venerable , they say , to spend time in wyping their driueled beards . Their discourse is vnanswerable , by reason of their obstinacie : and their speech is much , though little to the purpose . Truthes and lyes passe with an equall affirmation , for their memories seuerall is worne into one receptacle , and so they come out with one sense . They teach their seruants their duties with as much scorne & tyrannie , as some people teach their dogs to fetch . Their enuie is one of their diseases . They put off and on their clothes , with that certaintie , as if they knew , their heads would not direct them , and therefore custome should . They take a pride in halting and going stiffely , and therefore their staues are carued and tipped ; they trust their attire with much of their grauitie ; and they dare not go without a gown in summer . Their hats are brushed to draw mens eyes off from their faces ; but of all , their Pomanders are worne to most purpose , for their putri fied breath ought not to want either a smell to defend , or a dog to excuse .

A Country Gentleman

IS a thing out of whose corruption , the generation of a Iustice of peace is produced . Hee speakes statutes and husbandry well enough , to make his neighbours thinke him a wise-man ; hee is well skilled in Arithmetike or rates ; and hath eloquence enough to saue his two-pence . His conversation amongst his Tenants is desperate ; but amongst his equalls full of doubt . His trauell is seldome farther then the next market towne , and his inquisition is about the price of corne : when hee trauelleth hee will goe ten mile out of the way , to a Cosens house of his to saue charges ; and rewards the Seruanrs by taking them by the hand when hee departs . Nothing vnder a Sub-poena can draw him to London , and when hee is there , hee stickes fast vpon euerie obiect , casts his eyes away vpon gazing , and becomes the prey of euery cut-purse . When he comes home those wonders serue him for his holliday talke . If hee goes to Court , it is in yellow stockings , and if he be in winter , in a sleight taffetie cloke , & pumpes and pantastles . He is chaynd , that wooes the vsher fo his comming into the presence , where hee becomes troublesome with the ill managing of his rapier , and the wearing of his girdle of one fashion and the hangers of another ; by this time hee hath learned to kisse his hand , and make a leg both together , and the names of Lords and Counsellors ; he hath thus much toward entertainment and curtefie , but of the last he makes more vse ; for by the recitall of my Lord , hee coniures his poore countrymen . But this is not his element , but he must home againe , being like a Dor , that ends his flight in a dunghill .

A fine Gentleman

IS the Cynamon tree , whose barke is more worth then his body . Hee hath read the booke of good manners , and by this time each of his limbes may read it . He alloweth of no iudge , but the eye ; painting , boulstring and bombasting are his Orators : by these also he proues his industrie : for he hath purchased legs , haire , beauty , and straightnesse , more then nature left him . Hee vnlocks maidenheads with his language , and speakes Ephues not so gracefully as heartily . His discourse makes not his behauiour , but he buyes it at Court , as countrymen their clothes in Burchin lane . Hee is somwhat like the Salamander , and liues in the flame of loue , which paines he expresseth comically : and nothing grieues him so much , as the want of a Poet to make an issue in his loue ; yet he sighes sweetly , and speakes lamentably : for his breath is perfumed , and his words are winde . Hee is best in season at Christmas ; for the Boores head and Reueller come together ; his hopes are laden in his qualitie , and lest fidlers should take him vnprouided , he weares pumpes in his pocket , and lest hee should take fidlers vnprouided , he whistles his owne galliard . He is a calender of ten yeares , and mariage rusts him . Afterwards hee maintaines himselfe an implement of houshold by caruing and vshering . For all this he is iudiciall only in Tailors and Barbers , but his opinion is euer ready and euer idle . If you will know more of his Arts , the Brokers shop is the witnes of his valour , where lies wounded , dead , rent and out of fashion many a spruce suite ouerthrowen by his fantastikenes .

An elder Brother .

IS a creature borne to the best aduantage of things without him ; that hath the start at the beginning , but loy●ers it away before the ending . He lookes like his land , as heauily , and durtily , as slubbornely . He dares doe any thing but fight : and feares nothing but his Fathers life and minoritie . The first thing hee makes knowne is his estate ; and the load-stone that drawes him is the vpper end of the table . He wooeth by a particular , and his strongest argument is the ioynture . His obseruation is all about the fashion , and he commends Partlets for a rare deuise . Hee speakes no language , but smells of dogs or hawkes ; and his ambition flies Iustice-hight . He loues to be commended , and hee will goe into the kitchin , but hee le haue it . He loues glory , but is so lazie as he is content with flatterie . He speakes most of the precedencie of age , and protests fortune the greatest vertue . He summoneth the old seruants , and tells what strange acts hee will doe , when he raignes . Hee verily beleeues hous-keepers the best common-wealths men ; and therfore studies baking , brewing , greasing , and such , as the lyms of goodnesse . Hee iudgeth it no small signe of wisdome to talke much , his tongue therefore goes continually his errand , but neuer speeds . If his vnderstanding were not honester than his will , no man should keepe a good conceit by him ; for hee thinkes it no theft , to sell all he can to opinion . His pedigree and his fathers seale-ring , are the stilts of his crazed disposition . He had rather keep companie with the dregs of men , than not to be the best man . His insinuation is the inviting men to his house ; and hee thinkes it a great modestie , to comprehend his cheere vnder a peece of mutton and a rabbet ; if by this time he be not knowne , hee will goe home againe , for hee can no more abide to haue himselfe concealed , then his land ; yet he is as you see good for nothing , except to make a stallion to maintaine the race .

A Welchman

IS the Oyster , that the pearle is in , for a man may be pickt out of him . He hath the abilities of the mind in potentia , and actu nothing but boldnesse . His clothes are in fashion before his bodie ; and hee accompts boldnesse the chiefest vertue . Aboue all men he loues a Herrald , and speakes pedigrees naturally . He accompts none well descended , that call him not Cosen : and prefers Owen Glendower before any of the nine Worthies . The first note of his familiaritie is the confession of his valour ; and so he preuents quarrells . Hee voucheth Welch a pure , an vnconquered language ; and courts Ladies with the storie of their Chronicle . To conclude , he is pretious in his owne conceit , and vpon S. Dauids day without comparison .

A Pedant

HE treads in rule , and one hand skans verses , and the other holds his scepter . He dares not thinke a thought , that the Nominatiue case gouernes not the verbe ; and he neuer had meaning in his life , for he trauelled onely for words . His ambition is Criticisme , and his example is Tully . Hee values phrases , and elects them by the found , and the eight parts of speach are his seruants . To be briefe , he is a Hetaroclue , for he wants the plurall number , hauing onely the single qualitie of words .

A Seruingman

IS a Creature which though he be not drunke , yet is not his owne man . He tells without asking , who ownes him , by the superscription of his liuery . His life is for ease and leasure much about gentleman-like . His wealth enough to suffice nature , and sufficient to make him happy , if hee were sure of it ; for hee hath litle and wants nothing , he values himselfe higher or lower , as his Master is . Hee hates or loues the men , as his Master doth the Master . He is commonly proud of his Masters horses , or his Christmas ; hee sleepes when he is sleepie , is of his religion , onely the clocke of his stomacke is set to goe an hower after his . He seldome breakes his owne clothes . He neuer drinkes but double , for hee must be pledg'd : not commonly without some short sentence nothing to the purpose : and seldome abstaines till hee come to a thirst . His discretion is to bee carefull for his Masters credit , and his sufficiencie to marshall dishes at a table , and to carue well . His neatnesse consists much in his haire and outward linnen . His courting language , visible bawdy iests ; and against his matter faile , he is alway ready furnished with a song . His inheritance is the chamber-maide , but often purchaseth his Masters daughter , by reason of opportunitie , or for want of a better ; he alwaies cuckolds himselfe , and neuer marries but his own widow . His Master being appeased , he becomes a retayner , and entailes himselfe and his posteritie vpon his heires males for euer .

An Host

IS the kernell of a signe : or the signe is the shell , and mine Host is the snaile . He consists of double beere and fellowship , and his vices are the bawdes of his thirst . Hee entertaines humbly , and giues his guests power , aswell of himselfe as house . Hee answers all mens expectations to his power , saue in the reckoning : and hath gotten the tricke of greatnesse , to lay all mislikes vpon his seruants . His wife is the Cumenseede of his doue house : and to bee a good guest is a warrant for her libertie . Hee traffiques for guests by mens friends , friends friend , and is sensible only of his purse . In a word , he is none of his owne : for he neither eats , drinks or thinks but at other mens charges and appointments .

An Ostler

IS a thing that scrubbeth vnreasonably his horse , reasonably himselfe . He consists of Trauellers , though he be none himselfe . His highest ambition is to bee Host , and the invention of his signe is his greatest wit : for the expressing whereof he sends away the painters forwant of vnderstanding . He hath certain charmes for a horse mouth , that hee shall not eat his hay : and behind your backe , hee will cozen your horse to his face . His curry-combe is one of his best parts , for hee expresseth much by the gingling : and his mane-combe is a Spinners card turn'd out of seruice . Hee puffes and blowes ouer your horse , to the hazard of a double iugge : and leaues much of the dressing to the prouerbe of Muli mut uo scabient , one horse rubs another . He comes to him that calls loudest not first ; he takes a broken head patiently , but the knaue he feeles not . His vtmost honestie is goodfellowship , and hee speakes Northerne , what countryman soeuer . Hee hath a pension of Ale from the next Smith and Sadler for intelligence . Hee loues to see you ride , and holds your stirrop in expectation .

NEWES , FROM ANY WHENCE : OR Old Truthes vnder a supposall of Noueltie . Occasioned by diuers Essayes and priuate passages of wit between sundry Gentlemen vpon that subiect .

Newes from Court .

IT is thought heere , that there are as great miseries beyond happinesse , as a this side it , as being in loue . That truth is euery mans by assenting . That time makes euery thing aged , and yet it selfe was neuer but a minute old . That next sleep , the greatest deuourer of time is businesse : the greatest stretcher of it , Passion ; the truest measure of it , Contemplation . To be saued , alwaies is the best plot : and vertue alwaies cleeres her way as she goes . Vice is euer behind-hand with it selfe ; that wit and a woman are two fraile things , and both the frailer by concurring . That the meanes of begetting a man hath more encreast mankind then the end . That the madnes of loue is to be sicke of one part , and cured by another . The madnes of ielousie , that it is so diligent , and yet hopes to loose his labour . That all women for the bodily part , are but the same meaning put in diuers words ; that the difference in the sense is their vnderstanding . That the wisdome of Action is Discretion , the knowledge of contemplation is truth , the knowledge of action is men . That the first considers what should be , the latter makes vse of what is . That euery man is weake in his owne humors . That euerie man a litle beyond himselfe is a foole . That affectation is the more ridiculous part of folly , then ignorance . That the matter of greatnesse is comparison . That God made one world of Substances ; man hath made another of Arte and Opinion . That money is nothing but a thing which Art hath turned vp trumpe . That custome is the soule of circumstances . That custome hath so far preuailed , that truth is now the greatest newes .

T. O.

Answer to the Court newes .

THat Happines and Miserie are Antipodes . That Goodnesse is not Felicitie , but the rode thither . That mans strength is but a vicisitude of falling and rising . That only to refraine ill , is to be ill still . That the plot of saluation was laid before the plot of Paradise . That enioying is the preparatiue to contemning . That hee that seekes opinion beyond merit , goes iust so far backe . That no man can obtaine his desires ; nor the world hath not to fill his measure . That to studie men is more profitable than bookes . That mens loues are their afflictions . That titles of honour are tartles to still ambition . That to be a King is fames butt , and feares quiuer . That the soules of women and louers are wrapt vp in the portmanque of their senses . That imagination is the end of man . That wit is the web , and wisdome the woose of the cloth , so that womens soules were neuer made vp . That enuy knowes what it will not confesse . That Goodnesse is like the art prospectiue , one point center , begetting infinite rayes . That man , woman , and the deuill , are the three degrees of comparison . That this newes holds number but not weight , by which couple all things receiue forme .

A. S.

Country Newes .

THat there is most heere , for it gathers in going . That reputation is measured by the acre . That pouertie is the greatest dishonestie . That the pitty of ( alas poore soule ) is for the most part mistaken . That rost beefe is the best smell . That a Iustice of peace is the last relique of Idolatry . That the allegorie of Iustice drawne blind , is turned the wrong way . That not to liue to heauenly , is accounted great wrong . That wisdome descends in a race . That we loue names better than persons . That to hold in knights-seruice is a slipperie tenure . That a Papist is a new word for a traytor . That the dutie of religion is lent not pai'd . That the reward is lost in the want of humilitie . That the Puritane persecution is as a cloud that can hide the glory of the light , but not the day . That the emulation of English and Scots to bee the Kings countrymen , thrust the honour on the Welch . That a Courtier neuer attaines his selfe knowledge but by report . That his best 〈◊〉 is a hearne dogge . That many great men are 〈◊〉 they know not their own Fathers . That loue is the 〈◊〉 worme . That a woman is the effect of her owne first same . That to remember , to know , and to vnderstand , are three degrees not vnderstood . That country ambition is 〈◊〉〈◊〉 , for there is nothing aboue a man . That fighting i● a Seruingmans valour , martyrdom their Masters . That to liue long is to fill vp the daies wee liue . That the ●●ale of some mens religion reflects from their friends . That the pleasure of vice is indulgence of the present , for it endures but the acting . That the properreward of goodnesse is from within , the externall is pollicie . That good and ill is the crosse and pile in the game of life . That the soule is the lampe of the body , reason of the soule , religion of reason , faith of religion , Christ of faith . That circumstances are the atomies of policie , censure the being , action the life , but successe the ornament . That authoritie presseth downe with weight and is thought violence : policie trips vp the heeles and is called dexteritie . That this life is a throng in a narrow passage , hee that is first out finds ease , hee in the middle worst , hemb'd in with troubles , the hindmost that driues both our afore him , though not suffering wrong , hath his part in doing it . That God requires of our debts a reckoning , not payment . That heauen is the easiest purchase , for wee are the richer for the disbursing . That liberalitie should haue no obiect but the poore , if our minds were rich . That the misterie of greatnesse is to keep the inferior ignorant of it . That all this is no newes to a better wit .

That the Citie cares not what the Country thinks .

Sr. T. R.

Newes from the very Country .

THat it is a fripery of Courtiers , Merchants , and others , which haue been in fashion , and are very neere worne out . That Iustices of peace haue the felling of vnderwoods , but the Lords haue the great falls . That Iesuits are like Apricocks , heretofore here and there one succour'd in a great mans house and cost deare , now you may haue them for nothing in euery cottage . That euery great vice is a Pike in a pond that deuoures vertues and lesse vices . That it is wholsomest getting a stomacke , by walking on your own ground : & the thriftiest laying of it at anothers table . That debtors are in London close prisoners , and here haue the libertie of the house . That Atheists in affliction , like blind beggers , are forced to aske though they know not of whom . That there are ( God be thanked ) not two such acres in all the country , as the Exchange and Westminster-hall . That only Christmas Lords know their ends . That w●omen are not so tender fruit , but that they doe as well and beare as well vpon beds , as plashed against walls . That our carts are neuer worse employed , than when they are wayted on by coaches . That sentences in Authors like haires in an horsetaile , concurre in one roote of beauty and strength , but being pluckt out one by one , serue onely for springes and snares . That both want and abundance equally aduance a rectified man from the world , as cotton and stones are both good casting for an hawke . That I am sure there is none of the forbidden fruit left , because we doe not all eat thereof . That our best three pilde mischiefe comes from beyond the sea , and rides post through the country , but his errand is to Court : That next to no wife and children , your owne wife and children are best pastime , anothers wife and your children worse , your wife and anothers children worst . That Statesmen hunt their fortunes , and are often at default : Fauorites course her and are euer in view . That intemperance is not so vnwholesome heere ; for none euer saw Sparrow sicke of the pox . That here is no trechery nor fidelitie , but it is because here are no secrets . That Court motions are vp and down , our● circular : theirs like squibs cannot stay at the highest , nor returne to the place which they rose from , but vanish & we are out in the way , Ours like mill-wheels busie without changing place ; they haue peremptorie fortunes , we vicissitudes .

I. D.

Answer to the very Country Newes .

IT is thought heere , that man is the coole of time , and made dresser of his owne fatting . That the fine Sences are Cinque ports for temptation , the trafficke sinne , the Lieutenant Sathan , the custome tribute , soules . That the Citizens of the high Court grow rich by simplicitie : but those of London by simple craft . That life , death and time , doe with short cudgels dance the Matachiue . That those which dwell vnder the Zona Torrida , are troubled with more damps , than those of Frigida . That Policie and Superstition hath of late hir masque rent from her face , and she is found with a wry mouth and a stinking breath , and those that courted her hotly , hate her now in the same degree , or beyond . That nature too much louing her owne , becomes vnnaturall and foolish . That the soule in some is like an egge , hatched by a young pullet , who often rigging from her nest , makes hot and cold beget rottennesse , which her wanton youth will not beleeue , till the faire shell being broken , the stinke appeareth to profit others , but cannot her . That those are the wise ones , that hold the superficies of vertue , to support her contrary and all-sufficient . That clemencie within and without is the nurse of rebellion . That thought of the future is retired into the country , and time present dwels at Court . That I liuing neere the churchyard , where many are buried of the pest , yet my infection commeth from Spaine , and it is feared it will disperse further into the kingdome .

A. S.

Newes to the Vniuersitie .

A Meere Scholler , is but a liue booke . Action doth expresse knowledge , better then words ; so much of the soule is lost , as the body cannot vtter . To teach should rather be an effect , then the purpose of learning . Age decaies nature , perfects Arte : therefore the glory of youth , is strength of the gray head , wisdome ; yet most condemne the follies of their owne infancie , runne after those of the worlds , and in reuerence of antiquitie will beare an old error against a new truth . Logick is the Heraldry of Arts , the array of iudgment ; none it selfe , nor any science without it : where it and learning meet not , must bee either a skilfull ignorance , or a wilde knowledge . Vnderstanding cannot conclude out of moode and figure . Discretion conteines Rhetorique ; the next way to learne good words , is to learne sense ; the newest Philosophie is soundest , the eldest Diuinitie : Astronomie begins in nature , ends in magicke . There is no honestie of the body without health , which no man hath had since Adam . Intemperance that was the first mother of sicknesse , is now the daughter . Nothing dies but qualities . No kinde in the world can perish without ruine of the whole . All parts helpe one another ( like States ) for particular interest . So in arts which are but translations of nature . There is no sound position in any one , which , imagine false , there may not from it bee drawne strong conclusions , to disproue all the rest . Where one truth is granted , it may be by direct meanes brought to confirme any other controverted . The soule and body of the first man , were made fit to be immortall together , we cannot liue to the one , but we must dye to the other . A man and a Christian are two creatures . Our perfection in this world is vertue , in the next knowledge , when wee shall read the glory of God in his owne face .

Newes from Sea .

THat the best pleasure is to haue no obiect of pleasure , and vniformitie is a better prospect then varietie . That putting to Sea is change of life but not of condition : where risings and falls calmes and crossegales are yours in order and by turne , forewinds but by chance . That it is the worst winde to haue no winde , and that your smooth-fac'd Courtiers deading your course by a calme , giues greater impediment , then an open aduersaries crosse-gale . That leuitie is a vertue , for many are held vp by it That it s nothing so intricate & infinite to rig a ship as a woman , and the more either is fraught , the apter to leake . That to pumpe the one and shreeue the other , is alike noysome . That small faults habituated are as dangerous as little leakes vnfound , and that to punish and not preuent , is to labour in the pumpe , and leaue the leake open . That it is best stricking saile before a storme , and necessariest in it . That a little time in our life is best , as the shortest cutt to our hauen is the happiest voyage . That to him that hath no Hauen no winde , is frendly , and yet it is better to haue no Hauen , then some kind of one . That expedition is euery where to bee bribed but at Sea . That gaine workes this miracle to make men walke vpon the water , and that the sound of commoditie drownes the noise of a storme , especially of an absent one . That I haue once in my life out gon night at Sea , but neuer darknesse : and that I shall neuer wonder to see a hard world , because I haue liued to see the Sunne a bankerout , being ready to starue for cold in his perpetuall presence . That a mans companions are ( like ships ) to be kept in distance , for falling foule one of another , only with my friend I will close . That the fairest field for a running head is the Sea , where he may runne himselfe out of breath , and his humor out of him . That I could carry you much further , and yet leaue more before then behind , and all will be but via Nauis , without print or tracke , for so is morall instruction to youthes watrish humor . That though a ship vnder saile bee a good sight , yet it is a better to see her moor'd in the Hauen . That I care not what become of this fraile Barcke of my flesh , so I saue the passenger . And heere I cast anchor .

W. S.

Forrein Newes of the yeere 1604.

From France .

IT is deliuered from France that the choice of friends there is as of their wines , those that being new , are hard and harsh , proue best ; the most pleasing are least lasting . That an enemie fierce at the first on set is as a torrent tumbling down a mountaine ; a while it beares all before it , haue but that whiles patience you may passe it dry-foot . That a penetrating iudgment may enter into a mans minde by his bodies gate ; if this appeare affected , apish , and vnstable ; a wonder if that bee setled . That vaine-glory , new fashions and the French disease are vpon termes of quitting their Countries allegance to bee made free Denisons of England . That the wounds of ancient enmities haue their scars which cannot bee so well closed to the sight but they will lye open to the memorie . That a Princes pleasurable vices vshered by authoritie and waited on by conuinence , sooner punish themselues by the subiects imitation , then they can be reformed by remonstrance or correction , so apt are ill examples to rebound on them that giue them . That Kings heare truth oftener for the tellers then their owne aduantage .

From Spaine .

THat the shortest cutt to the riches of the Indies is by their contempt . That who is feared of most , feares most . That it more vexeth the proud that men despise them , then that they not feare them . That greatnesse is fruitfull enough , when other helpes faile , to beget on it selfe destruction . That it is a grosse flattering of tired crueltie to honest it with the title of clemencie . That to eat much at other mens cost and little at his own is the wholsomest and most nourishing dyet both in Court and country . That those are aptest to dominere ouer others who by suffering indignities haue learned to offer them . That ambition like a seeled Doue flies vp to fall downe , it mindes not whence it came but whither it will . That euen Gally-slaues setting light by their captiuitie , finde freedome in bondage . That to be slow in militarie businesses is to bee so courteous as to giue the way to an enemie . That lightning and greatnes more feare then hurt .

From Rome .

THat the venereall ( called veniall ) sinne is to passe in the rank of Cardinall vertues , and that those should bee held henceforth his Holinesse beneficiall frends that sin vpon hope of pardon . That where vice is a state-commoditie , hee is an offender that often offends not . That Iewes and Curtezans there , are as beasts that men feed to feed on . That for an Englishman to abide at Rome is not so dangerous as report makes it , since it skills not where we liue so wee take heed how we liue . That greatnesse comes not downe by the way it went vp , there being often found a small distance between the highest and the lowest fortunes . That tackt authoritie is oft lesse at home then abroad regarded , while things that seeme , are ( commonly ) more a far off then neere hand feared .

From Venice .

THat the most profitable bancke is the true vse of a mans selfe , while such as grow mouldy in idlenesse make their houses their toombes and dye before their death . That many dangerous spirits lye buried in their wants , which had they meanes to their minds would dare as much as those that with their better fortunes ouer-top them . That professed Curtezans if they be any way good , it is because they are openly bad . That frugalitie is the richest treasure of an Estate , where men feed for hunger , clothe for cold and modestie , & spend for honor , charitie , and safetie .

From Germanie .

THat the infectious vice of drunken goodfellowship is like to sticke by that Nation as long as the multitude of offendors benums the sense of offending , and that a common blot is held no stayne . That discretions must bee taken by weight not taile : who doth otherwise , shall both prooue his owne too light and fall short of his reckoning . That feare and a nice forecast of euery sleight danger seldom giues either faithfull or fruitfull counsell . That the Empire of Germanie is not more great then that ouer a mans selfe .

From the Low Countries .

THat one of the surest grounds of a mans libertie is , not to giue another power ouer it . That the most dangerous plunge wherto to put thine enemie is desperation ▪ while forcing him to set light by his owne life , thou makest him master of thine . That neglected danger lights soonest and heauiest . That they are wisest who in the likelyhood of good , prouide for ill . That since pitty dwells at the next doore to miserie , he liueth most at ease that is neighboured with enuie . That the euill fortune of the wars as well as the good is variable .

Newes from my Lodging .

THat the best prospect is to looke inward . That it is quieter sleeping in a good conscience then a whole skin . That a soule in a fat bodie lies soft , and is loth to rise . That he must rise betimes who would cosen the deuill . That Flatterie is increased from a pillow vnder the elbow , to a bed vnder the whole bodie . That Policie is the vnsleeping night of reason . That hee who sleepes in the cradle of securitie , sins soundly without starting . That guilt is the flea of the conscience . That no man is throughly awaked but by affliction . That a hang'd chamber in priuate is nothing so convenient as a hang'd Traitor in publique . That the religion of Papistry , is like a curtaine made to keep out the light . That the life of most women is walking in their sleepe , and they talke their dreames . That chambering is counted a ciuiler qualitie , then playing at tables in the Hall , though Seruingmen vse both . That the best bedfellow for all times in the yeere is a good bed without a fellow . That he who tumbles in a calme bed , hath his tempest within . That hee who will rise , must first lye downe , and take humilitie in his way . That sleep is deaths picture drawne to life , or the twilight of life and death . That in sleep wee kindly shake death by the hand , but when wee are awaked wee will not know him . That often sleeping are so many tryalls to die , that at last we may doe it perfectly . That few dare write the true newes of their chamber , and that I haue none secret enough to tempt a strangers curiositie , or a seruants discouerie . God giue you good morrow .

B. R.

Newes of my morning worke .

THat to bee good is the way to bee most alone or the best accompanied . That the way to heauen is mistaken for the most melancholy walke . That most feare the worlds opinion more then Gods displeasure . That a Court friend seldom goes further then the first degree of charitie . That the deuill is the perfectest Courtier . That innocency was first cozen to man , now guiltinesse hath the neerest allyance . That sleep is deaths leger Embassador . That time can neuer bee spent : wee passe by it and cannot returne . That none can be sure of more time then an instant . That sin makes worke for repentance or the deuill . That patience hath more power then afflictions . That euery ones memorie is diuided into two parts : the part loosing all is the sea , the keeping part is land . That honestie in the Court liues in persecution like Protestants in Spaine . That predestination and constancie are alike vncerteine to be iudged of . That reason makes loue the Seruingman . That vertues fauour is better then a Kings fauorite . That being sick begins a sute to God , being well possesseth it . That health is the coach which caries to heauen , sicknes the post-horse . That worldly delights to one in extreame sicknes is like a hiecandle to a blind man . That absence doth sharpen loue , presence strengthens it , that the one brings fuell , the other blowes till it burnes cleere , that loue often breaks friendship , that euer increaseth loue . That constancie in women and loue in men is alike rare . That Arte is truths iugler . That falshood playes a larger part in the world then truth . That blinde zeale and lame knowledge are alike apt to ill . That fortune is humblest where most contemned . That no porter but resolution keeps feare out of minds . That the face of goodnes without a body is the worst wickednesse . That weomens fortunes aspire but by others powers . That a man with a female wit is the worst Hermaphrodite . That a man not worthy being a frend , wrongs himself by being an acquaintance . That the worst part of ignorance is making good and ill seem alike . That all this is newes onely to fooles .

M r●● . B.

Newes from the lower end of the Table .

IT is said among the folkes heere , that if a man dye in his infancie , he hath onely broke his fast in this world : If in his youth , hee hath left vs at dinner . That it is bed-time with a man at therescore and ten ; and he that liues to a hundred yeeres hath walked a mile after supper . That the humble-minded man makes the lowest curtsie . That grace before meat is our election before we were ; grace after , our saluation when we are gone . The soule that halts between two opinions , falls between two stooles . That a foole at the vpper end of the table is the bread before the salt . He that hates to be reproued sits in his owne light . Hunger is the cheapest sawce and nature the cheapest guest . The sensible man and the silent woman are the best discoursers . Repentance without amendment is but the shifting of a foule trencher : He that tells a lye to saue his credit , wipes his mouth with his sleeue to spare his napkin . The tongue of aiester is the fiddle that the bearts of the companie dance to . The tongue of a foole carues a peece of his heart to euery man sits next him . A silent man is a couered messe . The contented man onely is his owne caruer . Hee that hath many friends eats too much salt with his meat . That wit without discretion cuts other men meat and his own fingers . That the soule of a cholericke man sits euer by the fire side . That patience is the larde to the leane meat of aduersitie . The Epicure puts his money into his belly , and the miser his belly into his purse . That the best companie makes the vpper end of the table , and not the saltseller . The supersluitie of a mans possessions is the broken meat that should remaine to the poore . That the enuious keeps his knife in his hand and swallowes his meat whole . A rich foole among the wise is a gilt empty bowle among the thirstie . Ignorance is an insensible hunger . The water of life is the best wine . He that robs mee of my invention bids himselfe welcome to another mans table , and I will bid him welcome when he is gone . The vaine-glorious man pisseth more then hee drinkes . That no man can drinke a health out of the cup of blessing . To surfet vpon wit is more dangerous then to want it . He that 's ouercome of any passion is dry drunke . T is easier to fill the belly of faith , then the eye of reason . The rich glutton is better fed then taught . That faith is the elbow for a heauy soule to leane on . Hee that sins that he may repent , surfets that he may take physicke . He that riseth without thanksgiuing , goes away and payes not for his ordinarie . He that begins to repent when he is old , neuer washed his hands till night . That this life is but one day of three meales , or one meale of three courses , childhood , youth , and old age . That to sup well is to liue well , and that 's the way to sleep well . That no man goes to bed till hee dyes , nor wakes till he is dead . And therfore

Good night to you heere & good morrow hereafter . J. C.

Nowes from the Bed .

THat the bed is the best rendevou of mankind , and the most necessarie ornament of a chamber . That Souldiers are good antiquaries in keeping the old fashion , for the first bed was the bare ground . That a mans pillow is his best counseller . That Adam lay in state when the heauen was his canopie . That the naked truth is Eue , and Eue lay without sheetes . That they were either very innocent , very ignorant , or very impudent , they were not ashamed the heauens should see them lye without a couerlet . That it is likely Eue studied Astronomie , which makes the posteritie of her sex euer since to lye on their backs . That the circumference of the bed is nothing so wide as the convex of the heauens , yet it containes a whole world . That the fiue sences are the greatest sleepers . That a slothfull man is but a reasonable Dormouse . That the soule euer wakes to watch the body . That a Iealous man sleeps dog-sleep . That sleep makes no difference between a wise-man and a foole . That for all times sleep is the best bedfellow . That the deuill and mischiefe euer wake . That loue is a dreame . That the preposterous hopes of ambitious men are like pleasing dreames , farthest off when awake . That the bed payes Venus more custome then all the world beside . That if dreames and wishes had been all true , there had not been since Popery one maide to make a Nun of . That the secure man sleeps soundly and is hardly to be wak't . That the charitable man dreames of building Churches , but starts to thinke the vngodly Courtier will pull them down again . That great sleepers were neuer dangerous in a state . That there is a naturall reason why popish Priests chuse the bed to confesse their women vpon , for they hold it necessarie that humiliation should follow shrift . That if the bed should speake all it knowes , it would put many to the blush . That it is fit the bed should know more then paper .

R. S. FINIS