IN the bitter affliction , griefe of minde , and torment of conscience , I go about to speake vnto him that sitteth vpon the tribunall seat , accompanied with the Saints in heauen . And how can I speake , when as the tong is tied , and the lips dare not once mooue or wag ? The tong doth not his office ; the throte is dammed vp ; all the senses and instruments are polluted with iniquitie : but I will proceed on , and first I will fall to the ground on my knees , and make mine humble supplication vnto the blessed spirit , that he will helpe me seelie wretch , which dare not , by reason of the horror and superfluitie of my sinne , craue ought at the hands of God . Yea , and I beseech you also , O yee Saints , both holie men and women of God , liuing here , with watrish eies and wet cheekes soken in dolor and paine , to fall downe before the mercie-seate of God , to intreate and make intercession for me miserable sinner .

Wo is me , bicause of the sorowe of mine hart ! Wo is me , that my soule is thus afflicted ! Wo is me , that am compassed thus on euerie side , and shut vp in my sinne , and that there is no health in me ! Wo is me , O mother , that euer thou broughtest me foorth a righteous woman to be conuersant in vnrighteousnes ; for a religious woman to fall into extreme impietie ; an heire of the kingdome of God , but now an inheritour of the kingdome of the diuell ! Wo is me , O mother , which broughtest me foorth a perfect Christian ; yet a wretch found walowing in all impietie : a virgin beautified with honour and dignitie ; yet in the end blemished with shame & ignomi●●● : a woman beset with manie euils , & choked vp with infamous dooings ! Wo is me , O mother , which broughtest me foorth , as an high and loftie turret , yet suddenlie turned downe to the ground ; as a fruitfull tree , yet quicklie withered ; as a burning lampe , yet foorthwith quenched ; as a running fountaine , yet by and by dried vp . Wo is me , that euer I was bedecked with all gifts and graces , and now seeme pitifullie depriued of all .

But who will minister moisture vnto the temples of my head ? And who will giue streames of teares vnto mine eies , that I may bewaile my selfe in this my sorowfull plight ? Alas , O chastitie , how shall I bewaile thee ? Alas , O virginitie , how shall I lament thee ? O all you my friends and kindred , tender my case , pitie my person , in that I am dangerouslie wounded . Pitie me , O all ye my friends and kindred , in that I am now become an abiect person . Pitie me , O ye my friends , in that I am now with sorowe come to naught . Pitie me , O ye my friends , in that I haue now troden vnder foote the seale and cognizance of my profession , and ioined in league with the diuell . Pitie me , O ye my friends , in that I am reiected and cast awaie from the face of God and man : it is for my lewd life , that I am thus polluted and noted with open shame . Bewaile me whome the Angels haue bewailed ; bewaile me whome all the Saincts haue bewailed ; bewaile me whome euerie woman hath bewailed . Bewaile me O all ye virgins and women vnder heauen , in that I am fallen from my glory , and haue so wilfullie quenched the lampe of pure virginitie . The Lord made and ingraffed me a fruitfull vine , but in steed of pleasant clustred grapes , I brought forth pricking thornes ; therefore bewaile me also , for that in steed of grapes I brought forth brambles . But let the welspring of teares be stirred vp , and let my cheekes be watred ; let them flowe vpon the earth , and moisten it , for I am soken in sinne , and borne in mine iniquities . I see my virginitie lament ouer me . I see all ioie sorowing for mee . I see the spider ouer my seate building with cobweb , by reason of mine absence . I see and behold my selfe all sorowfull and pensiue . Euerie creature sorroweth at my case : for I was woont heeretofore to powre out praises vnto God for them all . Alas , what haue I felt ? and how am I fallen ? Alas how am I thus come to naught ? There is no sorrowe comparable to my sorrowe ; there is no affliction that exceedeth my affliction ; there is no bitternesse that passeth my bitternesse ; there is no lamentation more lamentable than mine ; neither is there sinne greater than my sinne , and there is no salue for me .

WHere is that good shepheard of the soules ? Where is he that went downe from Ierusalem to Iericho , which also salued and cured him that was wounded of the Iewes ? Where is he that came from Iudea to the Citie Sichem in Samaria , which also there liuelie touched the woman of Samaria with hir faults , and yet gaue hir drinke of his spirituall grace and life , to hir and others conuersion ? Where is he that in the Temple so mercifullie deliuered hir that was taken in adulterie , and would not suffer hir to be condemned to death as she had deserued ? Where is he , I say , that healed the sinfull sinner Marie Magdalen , by casting out of hir seauen Diuels , and forgiuing hir manie sinnes , bicause she loued much , to hir perpetuall fame and glorie ? Seeke me out also , O Lord , and cure my wounds ; deliuer me from my deserued condemnation : heale me , O God , haue mercie vpon me , and forgiue me all my sinnes , which am fallen from the higher Ierusalem ; which haue broken the vow I made in my baptisme ; which haue prophaned my cognisance , and polluted the holie temple my bodie , in that I haue dealt too iniuriouslie with thy blessed name . Alas that euer I was seduced ; alas that euer I fell against thy will and commandement . What shall I saie ? Or what shall I doo most wretched caitife that I am ? I being defolate of so great comfort , am vexed with sorowe for verie greefe of hart , that I am cast out from the sight of thine eies . Wo be vnto me , from how great goodnesse , into how great mischiefe am I fallen ? Whether purposed I to go , and whither am I come ? Where am I , and where am I not ? Whom did I studie to attei●e vnto , and what euils haue I obteined ? I went about to lighten others , and behold I haue darkned my selfe . I endeuoured to bring others from death to life ; but alas , I haue brought my self from life to death . I that minded to present others before God , haue presented my selfe before the Diuell . I that desired to be found a friend , and a fauourer of godlinesse and chastitie , am found a fo , and a furtherer of vncleannesse and iniquitie . I that should haue set my selfe against the assemblies of the wicked , and reprooued their lewd doings , haue now found shame & the most pestilent wound of the Diuell amongst the vngodlie . I that should haue allured others to the knowledge of the Sonne of God , am now become ignorant and vnskilfull in the diuers slaights of Sathan , which commonlie entrap men and women .

Wherefore after much alluring and sifting , they promised me ( vnhappie woman ) craftie conueiances to auoid the subtiltie of Sathan ; but afterward , the Diuell in the same night transformed into an Angell of light , reasoned with me , saieng , When thou art alone , get thee vp , and go vnto them , and if in case they perswade or entise thee , then condiscend , and harken vnto them , do it , and cease not , neither stagger thou at the matter , till they be satisfied . And againe , the Diuell going before to prepare the waie , whetted their wits to deuise mischiefe against me seelie wretch : he sowed in their minds adulterie , fornication , dissimulation , and deceit ; but I , oh vnhappie creature , skipping out of my bed at the dawning of the day , could not finish my woonted deuotion , neither accomplish my vsuall praier and christian exercises , but following too much mine owne fleshlie affections , folded and wrapped my selfe in the snares of the Diuell . I got me vnto the bed of the wicked , and required of them to performe the couenants in the night , which we had made the day before .

Oh seelie soule ! oh blinded hart ! how didst thou not remember thy promise and vow made in baptisme , to forsake the diuell , the world , and the flesh ? O foolish mind ! how didst thou not bethinke thy selfe what would followe ? O witlesse braine ! how didst thou not vnderstand so damnable a defiance ? O thou sense of vnderstanding ( I saie ) where didst thou sleepe in such senseles securitie ? O but it was the Diuell , which prouoked thee so to slumber and snort , that in the end he might slaie thine vnhappie and wretched soule .

Alas , he bound my mightie men , and spoiled me of my knowledge ; he bound my mightie men and wounded me . I answered but in a word , and foorthwith became reprochfullie defamed : I spake vnaduisedlie , and felt spite . The diuell raised an assemblie of wicked ones about me ; and when I consented to obeie their filthie lusts , then pronounced he against me strait , this iust sentence ; M.C. saith he , hath plaid the harlot ; M. C. hath committed adulterie , and defiled hir fathers house , and hir husbands bed .

O Thou diuell , what hast thou done vnto me ? O thou diuell , how hast thou wounded me ? I bewailed somtime the fall of Dinah and Thamar ; but now haue I felt far woorse my selfe . I bewailed heretofore the fall of Aholla , and Ahollibah ; but now am I fallen much woorse my selfe . I bewailed heretofore the fall of Cosbie , Bersabe , Rizpa , Tamer , and the Leuits wife ; but now haue I felt far woorse my selfe . I haue bewailed heretofore the state of all sinners ; yet now am I plunged in them all . For I haue beene more bold than Apam ; more impudent than Memphetica Potiphers wife ; more shameles than Lots two daughters ; more wicked than Baara , or Salomen ; and more bloudie in persecuting than Iesabel . Dinah , and Thamer , through violence offered them , were defloured against their wils ; but I with all greedines haue most filthilie followed my fleshlie desires . Iudith decked hir selfe brauelie of a right discretion and vertue , for the safegard of hir people ; but I for voluptuousnes and pleasure of the flesh , to allure the eies of all men , and catch the soules of the simple in the net of sinne , and snares of Satan . Susanna being secretlie and forciblie assaulted , sighed , and thought it better to crie , and shrich out , that she might so fall into the hands of hir enimies , and suffer death without the deed dooing , than to sin in thy sight by consenting vnto their wicked wils ; but I both openly and priuilie haue followed too much the deuises and desires of mine owne hart , and too soone consented to those that haue burnt in lust towards me . It was Dinahs libertie that brought hir to hir fall ; but it is mine owne wanton eies , mine owne rash tongue , and mine owne wilful follie that hath brought me to this sinfull fall and great confusion . And as she was the cause , that manie of the Sichemites lost their earthlie possessions and liues ; euen so my lewdnes hath depriued me of the spirituall gifts , which somtime haue flowed with heauenlie riches . And euen as she being seuered from hir father and brethren , and cleauing vnto strangers and forreners , endured great annoie ; euen so I in satisfieng the lusts of notorious sinners , haue brought my selfe captiue vnto captiues , and made my selfe the bondslaue of sinne .

For alas my parents liue , yet am I an Orphan and fatherlesse . Alas my brethren and freends are liuing , yet am I comfortlesse and freendles . Alas my husband liueth , yet am I a widowe . Alas my children be aliue , yet am I barren . Alas euerie creature reioiceth , and I alone am forsaken and sorrowfull . Alas O house wherein I was gladsome . Alas O familie wherein I sate full merrie . Alas O holie Ghost , thou spirit of puritie , which heeretofore camest downe vpon me , why hast thou forsaken me ? I am forsaken , and become desolate , because of the corruption and filth of mine iniquitie . Bewaile me , O all ye virgins , that am defloured of all virginitie . Bewaile me , O all ye womenkind , that am depriued of all chastitie and goodnes . Bewaile me , O ye blessed people of God , which am banished from God . Bewaile hir that is bereaued of the holie Ghost . Bewaile me , that like a foolish virgin am thrust out of the wedding chamber of my spouse Christ . Bewaile me , who once was thought worthie the kingdome of God , now altogither most vnworthie . Bewaile me that am abhorred of the Angels , and seuered from the Saints of God . Bewaile me for that I am condemned to eternall punishment . Bewaile me , for that I am heere languishing on this miserable earth , and thus now tormented with the prick of conscience .

I do feare death , because I am wicked . I doo feare the dreadfull daie of iudgement , for that I am damned for euer . I do feare the punishment , for that it is eternall . I doo feare the Angels , which ouersee the punishment , bicause they are void of mercie . I doo feare out of measure all the torments ; and what I shall doo , I wot not , being thus on euerie side beset with miserie . If there be anie man or woman which can , I beseech them now assist me with their earnest praiers , and with their sorrowfull teares . For now it behooueth me to shed infinite teares for mine infinite sins . Who knoweth whether the Lord will haue mercie vpon me ; whether he will pitie my fall ; whether he will tender my person ; whether he will be mooued with my desolation ; whether he will shew mercie vnto mee ; whether he will haue respect vnto mine humilitie , and incline his tender compassion towards me , as he hath done to Rahab , Marie Magdalen , the woman of Samaria , and the woman taken in adulterie , besides manie others ?

BUT I will prostrate my selfe before the thresholds and porches of the Church , that I may intreat all people , both small and great , and I will saie thus vnto them ; Trample , and tread me vnder foot , which am the foolish salt , the vnsauorie salt . Treade on mee , which have no taste or relish of God ; treade me vnder foote , which am fit for nothing . Trample mee vnder your feet as a Iesabell , for I am a daughter of Sodom and Gomer , that deserueth to obteine no mercie , nor to haue anie pitie or compassion to be shewed vnto me , but to be quite forgotten , and put cleane out of all remembrance .

Now let the virgins mourne and lament , for that their fellowe virgin is defiled . Now let the maidens and damosels mourne , for that their companion is fallen . Now let the wiues , widowes , yong women and matrons mourne , for that a fellowe sister is fallen . Now let all women both old and yong , maried and vnmaried , bond and free mourne and lament , for that an aduancement of virginitie and womanhood is shamefullie fallen , and hath broken hir faith and promise made both to God and man . Wo is me that I fell so lewdlie . Wo is me that I fell most dangerouslie , and cannot rise againe .

Assist me O holie spirit , and giue me grace to repent . Let the fountaine of teares be opened , and gush out into streames ; to see , if peraduenture I may haue the grace worthilie and throughlie to repent , and to wipe out of the booke of consciences , the accusation that is printed against me . But thou , O Lord , thinke not vpon polluted lips , neither weigh thou the tongue that hath vttered lewd things , but accept thou repentance , affliction , and bitter teares , the dolor of the hart , & the heauinesse of the soule , and haue mercie vpon me , and raise me vp from out of the mire of corruption , for the puddle thereof hath euen choked me vp . Wo is me that sometime was a pearle , glistering in the golden garland of glorie , but now throwne into the dust , and trode in the mire of contempt . Wo is me that the ●ault of God now lieth in the dunghill . Wo is me that the temple of the holie Ghost is thus prophaned , and made a cage of vncleane spirits . Wo is me that thy holie house of praier is become a den of fee●ds . But how great streames of lamentations shall wipe and purifie mine humble hart ? Now I will addresse my selfe and turne my talke vnto God . Why hast thou lifted me vp , and cast me downe ? For as thou hast exalted me with the diuine word of thine heauenlie wisedome ; so mee thinks , I sticke in the depth of sinne , which my selfe haue wrought . I had not committed this impietie , vnlesse thou hadst withdrawne thine hand from me ; but it is thy pleasure , O Lord , which art good , to doo all things gratiouslie : and I of the other side being a foolish and fraile woman , haue foolishlie fallen .

But why , O Lord , hast thou shut my mouth by thy iudgements threatened in thine holie word against adulterers and sinners ? Haue I beene the first that herein haue sinned ? Or am I the first that fell ? Why hast thou thus forsaken me , being desolate and reiected ? Why hast thou thus banished me from among thy Saints , and astonied me to read thy iudgements and lawes ? What is he or she borne of a woman that sinneth not ? What man or woman is there now , or euer was conuersant here vpon earth , and did none iniquitie ? This I saie , bicause thou hast thus forsaken me . Dauid , Bersaba , and the woman of Samaria , sinned too bad in thy sight ; yet after their repentance , thou receiuedst them in mercie . Likewise Peter a professor of truth , and Marie Magdalen , after their fall , wiped awaie their bitter passions , that they suffered , with salt teares , sleaing sinne , and purging awaie the ●enom of the serpent , not continuing long in the puddle of infidelitie ; but they of fauour were thought woorthie of mercie . And this I speake , to the end these things may take effect also in me miserable sinner .