Harry VVhite his humour, so neare as may be set forth by M.P. In which is exprest, both earnest and jest: let honest men buy, and knaves let it lye: this is not for them, vvho vertue contemne[d] M. P. (Martin Parker), d. 1656? This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A08959 of text S119911 in the English Short Title Catalog (STC 19242). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 17 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 11 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2018 A08959 STC 19242 ESTC S119911 99855117 99855117 20590 2240864675

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 Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 2, no. A08959) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 20590) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 1525:21) Harry VVhite his humour, so neare as may be set forth by M.P. In which is exprest, both earnest and jest: let honest men buy, and knaves let it lye: this is not for them, vvho vertue contemne[d] M. P. (Martin Parker), d. 1656? [24] p. : ill. [By T. Cotes?] for Thomas Lambert, at [the] signe of the Hors-shoo in Smithfield, Printed at London : [1637] Suggested printer's name and publication date from STC. Signatures: A B⁴. First and last leaves blank except for woodcut illustrations. Imperfect; title page cropped slightly affecting text and imprint. Reproduction of the original in the Bodleian Library. eng eebo Harry VVhite his humour, so neare as may be set forth by M.P. In which is exprest, both earnest and jest: let honest men buy, and knaves let it lye: t M. P. 1634 22 2794 15 0 0 0 0 0 53.69 D The rate of 53.69 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the D category of texts with between 35 and 100 defects per 10,000 words. 2010-01 Assigned for keying and markup 2010-02 Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2010-03 Sampled and proofread 2010-03 Text and markup reviewed and edited 2010-04 Batch review (QC) and XML conversion

depiction of Harry White

Harry White his humour , So neare as may be set forth by M.P.

In which is exprest , Both earnest and jest : Let honest men buy , And knaves let it lye : This is not for them , Who vertue contemne ▪ Not every man in 's humour's promis'd here , Yet in one's humour many more appeare .

Printed at London for Thomas Lambert , at signe of the Hors-shoo in Smithfield

To that great Promulgater , And neat divulgater , Whom the citie admires , And the Suburbs desires , M.P. wisheth happy Successe , and Ale nappy , That with the ones paine , He the other may gaine . Honest Harry ,

FAine I would say something , yet I know not ( nor indeed care not much ) what to say to thee ; I know thou art one armed for all sayings . For to speake truly , praise of thee would bee counted but phantasmie ; and admiration meere adulation : how canst thou want worth , who hast such an ample faculty in emblazoning , and ( indeed sometimes ) adding to the worth of other men ? It likes my humour well to describe thine so well as I could : the best on it is , thy humour is my priviledge ; therefore if what is here written sleightly , be ill read , and worse understood , I can excuse my selfe , ( as many men doe their owne faults by other mens ) saying , it is Harry Whites humour . Surely I thinke I have fitted thy humour in generall , if not I pray thee let thy particular humour pardon escapes . I have assaid to humour thee , invited by this benefit , that by humouring thee I shall humour a thousand : now if any be in the humour to be vext at thy humour : tell them thy humour is armed against the assault of any humour : thus wishing that thy humour may bee satisfied with tenne thousand two peny customers , I commit thee to thy humour , and thy humour to thy custodie , desiring ever to rest , but never to be arrested .

Thine at a pot and a pipe , M.P.
Harry Whites humour .

VEry good Sir , but why Harry Whites humour ? pray what humour hath Harry White , that another man is not guilty of ? why sir to satisfie your inquisitiue humour , I le tell you what Harry Whites humour is : but before-hand I pray be not angry , yet if you be , Harry White cares not ; that is part of his humour , he had rather sée a whore want painting for her face than an honest . Woman want bread for her children .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He had rather that théeues and cut-purses ( and consequently the hangman ) should want employment than honest trades-men should lack work or mony .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He would haue fewer bawdy houses , and more almeshouses : also he wisheth that rich people were more charitable : or that the poore had lesse néede .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He can ( when he is hungry ) ver● thankfully eate a red herring : but yet he prefers a Hen or a Capon before it , and holds eyther of them to be better merit .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He loues ( and honors ) all good qu●lities in men , yet he estéemes h●n●sty as the Master-p●ece .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He delights much to heare a good ring of Bells , yet he could wish rather to shew you a gold ( or Diamond ) Ring of his owne , though vpon another mans finger .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He can ( in case of necessity ) drinke vpon frée cost , yet he is better pleased when he hath mony to pay for his liquor .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He loues to ride when he is weary yet ( at certaine times ) he holds it ominous to ride 〈…〉 Holborne .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He is offended at nothing so as at swearing , cursing , or blasphemy , especially when an old hawd sweares she is an honest Woman .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item Hée takes more pleasure to sée a Knight of the Post , play at boe péepe vpon a scaffold , than to behold a Carriers horse to fall vnder his load .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He prefers a Cookes shop before a fencing schoole : and what is the reason think you ? why , because he had rather break his face than his head .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He cares not much for a dancing-schoole , because if néed be ( rather than fall ) he can eat Mutton without Capers .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He thinkes Millers and Mizers are more correspondent in trade than in name : and why so ? because as the one grinde● 〈◊〉 : 〈…〉 , the other grindes the poore .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He troubles not his head much with learning Arithmeticke , for ( when he is at the best ) he can calculate his mony without eyther pen or Counters .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item Of all men liuing he regards Lawyers . A reason for that prethée ? why I le tell you sir their attractiue policy drawes him an Iron audience out of the Country : for hée thinkes it is neuer so well with London as when the hobnayles strike fire out of th● stones .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item It goes to his very heart to heare the man that cryes buy a brush , for it puts him in minde of his holy-day cloake that lies in Long-Lane to be brusht : for though his knauery be but little , yet a stronger cloak would doe well to couer it , least one that hath much should steale away his little : for now adayes no knauery no liuing .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He is loath to marry a Widow because he will not taste of that which another man dyed after .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He is confidently conceited that if all men would abstain from immoderate drinking , quarrelling , wenching , and gameing : Phisitians , Surgeons , and catchpoles , should haue farre lesse employment than they haue .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He is also verily perswaded that if Women could but gouerne one little péece of flesh ( the tongue I meane ) so many of them would not goe with party coulerd faces .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He will not be troubled with paying Ale-house scores : no , no , he hath a fine trick to preuent that : as how sir I prethée ? why by calling in no more than he is able to pay for .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He scornes to be comited a shifting companion , for where he méetes with good liquor and good company , he seldome departs willingly , vntill Peter pouerty puts him out of the doore .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He hates of all ( humane ) things to be ouerséene in bread : for he had rather the Brewer should thriue than the Baker .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He holds it necessary and conuenient , by order of equity ( and indeed warranted by his owne exemplary practice ) that he who is drunke ouer-night , shall ( in satisfaction to the Bachinalian statute ) pay a groas on the next morning .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item Hauing lately read the rare history of patient Grizell , out of it he hath drawne this Phylosophicall position , that if all women were of that Womans condition , we should haue no imployment for cuckinstooles .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He is of this opinion , that if the histories of Garragantua and Tom Thumbe be true : by consequence Bevis of Hampton , and Scoggins Jests must néedes bée Authenticall .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He is an excellent Orator , and I think he carryes some glew vpon his tongue that joynes the eares of his auditors so fast vnto him , that they cannot depart til they are pleased or vext : for you shall sée the people flock about him , like Bées to a hony pot : hee tells them his minde , and is in a mannor indifferent whether they be angry or pleased .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He hath more minde to goe to Billingsgate to eate Oysters , ( though he purchase friendship with a boxe on the eare ) than to interpose himselfe in an idle quarrel , when he may gaine a broken pate for his good will .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He professeth himselfe an open enemie to double dealing , and yet in cold weather ( prouided it be at your owne charges ) you may easily perswade him to weare two shirts .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He neuer will be sparing in other mens praises , for he extolles a good worke ( done by any man ) to the highest : and this is not onely done in corners , for he tells it openly in the stréetes .

This is Harry , &c.

Item He is to much addicted ( and that is both a mad humour , and a bad humour ) to any Sycophants that will flatter his fancy : and by their tongues ( being giulded with deceit ) draw siluer out of his pockets in expences .

This is Harry Whites humour , by no wise man to be followed .

Item He hath an admirable faculty in iudging the mindes of others , for if he sées a maide of her owne accord to kisse a young man he dares almost be sworne sh●● loues him .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He holds it an odious object to sée a man drunk : but a Woman to goe réeling in the stréetes , cut vpon her beast .

This is Harry , &c.

Item Besides this , hée thinks it may bée probably conjectured ( without any prejudice to art or nature ) that a Woman who will be commonly drunk , doth now and then ( when her senses are intoxicated ) mistake another man for her husband .

This is Harry , &c.

Item He loues good company with all his heart , and had rather spend a shilling on a good fellow , than a penny on a whore .

This is Harry , &c.

Item He cannot abide to whisper out his minde , as though he were either affraid , or ashamed of his profession : no , no , you shall heare him , if you be neare him : he will not lack mony , if speaking for it can procure it .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He is seldome or neuer affraid of aresting : for pouerty preuents borrowing , and if nothing be borrowed , there is nothing to pay : then a figge for the catchpole .

This is Harry , &c.

Item He loues no kinde of gaming , his reason is this , that although the game of it selfe may be lawfull enough ( being lawfully vsed for honest recreation ) yet there are so many absurdities and inconueniencies deriued from the same , ( as swearing , cursing , quarrelling , betwéene nearest friends : and many other euils ) that he will not play with any man , no not for shooe-buckles .

This is Harry , &c.

Item He holds it vnnecessary that a horse-courser and a broker should dwell néere together : why so sir ? why sir , because the prouerb sayes , that a crafty knaue néedes no broker .

This is Harry , &c.

Item He had rather sée a pick-pocket carryed to Newgate ( looke to your purses Gentlemen ) than a poore man to the Compter for debt .

This is Harry Whites humour .

Item He estéemes it a point of no good husbandry for any man to loyter and bee drinking all the working dayes , and to follow his labour on Sundayes , or holy-dayes : neither doth he commend the custome of those Iourneymen , or labourers , who hauing receiued their wages on the Saturday night , doe spend all ( or the most part of it ) on Sunday : and the next wéeke following are forced to make more fasting-daies than the Church commands .

This is Harry &c.

Item He déemes that a preposterous government where the wife predominates , and the husband submits to her discretion ; that is just Hystoron & Proteron , the Cart before the horse .

A womans counsell's ofttimes fit , For many of them have sudden wit : But where the wife beares greatest sway , That house can be at no good stay .

This is Harry , &c.

Item On the contrary he counts it a base inhumane part , for any man to beat his Wife : nay and besides , it is an absurd fully , for if she be good , ill vsage may peruert her : if she be bad , blowes will not mend her : for being a weake vessell she will rather breake with beating : what a simplicity is it for a man ( in his fury ) to giue his Wife a blacke eye : and then to cogge and flatter , looke babyes in her eyes , call her his pigges nye , and cry Peccavi ( for his fault ) a fortnight , or thrée wéekes after .

This is not Harry Whites humour .

Lastly , Harry White is glad at the heart to sée the young men laughing , the maides smiling , some drawing their purses , others groping in their pockets , some pretty lasses feeling in their bosomes for odde parcells of mony wrapt in clouts : for these are euident presages of his good fortune : ah what dulcid musick it is to his eares , when he heares his audience cry , joyntly , giue me one , giue mee two : change my mony sayes one , here is a single two pence sayes another .

This fits Harry Whites humour .

Postscript . 1 NOw worthy friends if what is here expres●●● of Harry White his humour , yours have pleas●● The author and the Subject wil contest about their shares of Joy ; yet soone appeasd , Shall joyntly joyne in their congratulation , While in your loves both hath participation . 2 IN his one humour many are compriz'd then take your choice , as every man shal fi●● In his owne heart : what here 's epitomis'd , you may exemplifie in your owne mind . Let fame , ( times harold ) daign to blaze this rum●● When Harry whites not here , yet here s his humo●
An applause by L.P. Of the Author M.P. THe Author of this little booke , which he in love hath pend , Is 'cause some may behold their faults , and practice to amend . He flatters not as many doe , to win himselfe a praise , But boldly paints abuses forth that 's used now adaies 'Mongst men of sound discretion , sure these lines will breed no jarre , But it may make gauld jades to kick , because they spurred are , The Author in a recompence , to them that angry be , Bequeaths a gift that 's cald old Gillians legacie . FINIS .

depiction of Harry White