Laquei ridiculosi: or Springes for vvoodcocks Caueat emptor.

Laquei ridiculosi : OR Springes for Woodcocks . Caueat Emptor .

LONDON : Printed for Iohn Busby , and are to be sould at his shop in S. Dunstans Church-yarde in Fleet street .

1613

Lectori benigno , Scienti , & ignoto .

DVo propemodum anni elapsi sunt , ex quo primum Epigramata haec ( qualiacunque ) raptim & festinanter perfi●ebam : Quae cum Capellano siue Officialitiam ●isa ( sicuti mos est ) & approbata , ●unc equidem aut non omnino in lucem pro●irent : partim quod secundum tempora & occasionem composita aptiora magis & ●ece●ntiora gustare videantur ; & quod hisce studijs aut potius vanitatibus minus iam dudum versatus , valedixissem . Sed num placuerit ei cum Typographo citius agere , cui gratís ( vt priora ) lubenter contuli : aut alia ( qu● nescio ) impeditus occasione , eadem sine me edita iam sunt , & in publicum diuulgata : Si tamen cuicunque fortasse placeant perlegenti , mihi etiam gratissimum fuerit & perplacebunt , dummodo quae commissa sint errata , humaniter condonauerint , aut quae omissa , non culpauerint imprudenter . At non sum nescius quam a●●ara & virulenta quoru●dam sint ingenia , qui cum mellis nihil habeant , a●uleu● tamen venu●atum gerunt , quo obuiu● quemque vulnerent atque insectentur Hisce , ego Absinthium & graueolentes her●as potius quam suauissimas rosas grati●ue odoris Thymum ( Hyblaeis Apibus degu●tandum ) offerrem . Sed vt desistam pau●is ; Si qui de●ique laqueis istis ( quem●dmodum appellantur ) necesse & volenter ●iodo incidere certabunt , ita quod de me ●essimè & immeritò postea loquentur , tali●s ego proxima tantummodo editione , ●lanculum ( si coactus ) responsionem fa●am .

Hen: Parrot . Vni , sipossim posse placere , sat e●t .

DIues Arabs aurum , gemmas dat laetior orbis , Et quaeis confines Indus & Americus : At sterilis Gens ista mea est , fulgentis Eoi Lumina , quam solis nulla beare solent . Quae tamen indigno concessit Iupiter almus , ( Nulla licet tanto Iudice digna , ) dabit .

To the Reader .

TO the Courteous , Generous , and Scolasticke Readers : I cannot stoop too submissiue-low with that ●bseruance which to them belongeth . But to th' illiterat and home-spun-Pea●ants , proue I as harsh and indigestable as is their spite and ignorance vnre●roueable . I know I shall be fowly censured of some Slauonians that scarce haue any taste or feeling of inuention ; yet will be medling though they cry but Mew , whom to reuenge were lesse expedient by how much the labor in so base a busines would proue impertinent . If any one in the reading hereof shall ought assume to his owne particuler ▪ and say expresly it is ment by him , ● cannot helpe his incredulitie , but rather wish his folly more apparant ▪ that men might note him as a publick● Cockscombe .

For mine owne part , I had long since bidden adue to these idle toyes not thinking my labours ( done then● should now againe be brought vnto the Presse , which is indeed withou● ●y priuitie . Wherefore , if any thing ●oeuer be escaped or misplaced , it shall ●ot be imputed vnto my fault , being ● neither was nor would be thereunto ●onsenting or assisting : Nor shall I ●eede be so obsequious , seeing it was onely done then to please my ●elfe ; much lesse to vse any long Apol●gie , which were to erect a large Portall to a little Cottage . In briefe , ●t is to me no otherwise then as a cast ●r game at Passage , that am indifferent ●hough I ●ling out at first : and therefore to conclude , as I seeke to please none , so looke I for as little thankes , ●sse prayse , & least reward : so farewell .

To the vulgar Censurers . IF my ill-tuned Rimes content the wise , Whose deeper iudgements I desire to please , Let not the ruder sort be so precise , That ( Critticke seeming ) cannot censure these . I write not to the rusticke Rabblement , Nor fawne vpon the curious kinde of men , But hold it more then bootlesse labour spent To begge their poore applause ; nor care I then If such repine , whose enuy cannot hurt , Though like a raging Sea they foame their durt . FINIS .

MY honest friends that reades , I you bes●ec● To make the best construction of each lett● And not to blame my lauishnesse of speech , In paying soundly where I am a debter : My word and credit else you should infringe , Which was to catch the Woodcocke in a Spring

SPRINGES FOR Woodcocks .

1 Crispati erines , Plumae , dant calcar amori . WHy is young Anas thus with feathers dight ? And on his shoulder wears a dangling lock : The one foretels he 'l sooner flie then fight ; The other showes hee 's wrapt in 's mothers smock . But wherefore wears he such a Iingling spur ? Oh , he deales oft with lades that will not stur .

2 Pariiugo sociantur Asini. COthurn●s thinks he hath the rarest wit , That any sel●e-conceit can glory in ; Doe but applaud him , and you are as fit Vnto his purpose as an Asse to 's skin : Marke if to Paules the Gallant be not gone , You seldome there see one foole walke alone .

3 Consuetudo , lex . TWo wooers for a wench were each at strife , Which should enioy her to his wedded wife ; Quoth th' one , shee 's mine , because I first her saw , Shee 's mine , quoth th' other , by Pye-corner law ; Where , sticking once a P●ick on what you buy It 's then your owne , which no man must deny .

4 Ingrata Gratia , GRace , I confesse ▪ she hath a comely face , Good hand and foote , as answerable to it : But what s all this except she had more grace ? Oh , you will say , t is want that makes her doe it . True : want of grace indeed ; the more her shame , Disgrace by nature , onely Grace by name .

5 Quo maior , peior . Aetus , that late a great Deuine did meet , ● Would , iesting , needs presume his health to gree● , ●ho ( not offended ) told him he was well : ●o●d then , quoth Letus , see what lyes men tell , Last day I was abroad , where I did heare Your Worship hath beene speechlesse all this yeare .

6 Magnis fortuna nocet . TWo Knights in London ( the Tearme being ended ) Would of a Scriuener borrow fifty pound : ●ho said , by him they could not be befriended ●lesse a Citizen with them were bound : For , quoth the Scriuener , thus much vnderstand , The men we trust haue eyther goods or Land .

7 Videantur quae non sunt . SAltus goes booted to the dauncing schoole , As if from thence his meaning were to ride ; But Saltus says they keepe his legs more coole , And which for ease he better may abide : Tut , that 's a cold excuse . It rather seem'd Saltus silke stockings were not yet redeem'd .

8 Vmbras non scelus metuit . MIstresse Marina starts to see a Frog , A Naked Rapier , or a creeping Mouse ; To heare a Gun , a barking mastiue Dog , Or smell Tobacco that de●iles her house , To taste of Fish no man aliue shall woe her , Yet feares she not what flesh can doe vnto her ▪

9 Sal●em videretur . A Welshman and an Englishman disputed , Which of their lands maintain'd the greatest state ; ●he Englishman the Welshman quite confuted , ●●t would the Welshman nought his brags abate , ●en Cooks ( quoth he ) in Wales one Wedding fees ▪ True , quoth the other , each man to●t● his Cheese .

10 Latet aliquid intus . MIstresse Mallina waxeth ill at ease , And keepes her Bed , sicke of a burning feuer : ●t shee 's perswaded t is some worse disease , ●nd that the foolish Doctor doth deceiue her ; For why ? shee feeles it shooting in her bones , That griping puts her to most grieuous grones .

11 Naturam expellere durum . PRofus● borrowes , but ne'er payes againe , ( A custome he hath kepte'er since his Cradle ) Although you binde him in an Iron chaine , Can any man pay debts more then hee 's able ? Fore God , not he . Let Nouerints sinke or swim , Hee 'l sooner deale with Kate , though she pay him .

12 Tempora praesagit Venus . KAte , for a need , deales in Astronomie , And can of times and things prognosticate ; For as they vse vpon their backes to lie , And censure of the weathers changing state ; So she ( her body laid ) can prophesie Whether it shall proue colde , hot , moyst , or dry .

13 Sensus falluntur ●ept● . WAT told his wife she closely plaid the whore , For , ipso facto , he himselfe espide it from forth the key-hole of the chamber dore : ●ut she regardles to his teeth denide it Saying , Thou Rascall , wilt beleeue thine eyes Before thy Wife , that in thy bosome lyes ?

14 Improbè Neptunum accusat qui bis naufragium fecit ▪ SVsan hath sworne to deale no more on trust , What shift so euer she be forst to make her ; ●r such as promise most in heat of lust ●ill least performe ( saith Susan ) but forsake her : And can ye blame her then ? iudge those that know it , ●wice to be got with childe and no man owe it ?

15 Ingl●uiem seauitur fames . CVrio would feed vpon the daintiest fare , That with the Court or Countrie might compare ▪ For what lets Curio that hee need to care , To frolick freely with the proud'st that dare . But his excesse was such in all things rare , As he proou'd bankerout ere he was aware .

16 Omnis vicessitudo grata . PArnell accompts it deepest pollicie , To shift her lodging euery month at least ; T is strange you should demand the reason why , Are not her Clyents thereby more increast ; Besides , her yeares and actions yet in prime , That els might proue a Baude before her time .

17 Nunquam saturata libido . ●Vcas so long lies surfetting in 's Bed As seldome it permits him rise to dinner ●ntill his lustfull appetite be fed , ●hiles hee 's consorting with some femall sinner , Whom hackney-like he hires from night till noone , And turnes her off his iourney being done .

18 Spreta tamen viuunt . ●Ocunda is become an idle liuer , Supported by the bounties of so many ●s may be thought the fault is in the giuer , ●hen pitty t were she be releiu'd by any . And yet you 'l say , if there were none to giue , How should such creatures as Iocunda liue ?

19 No● omnia possumus omne● . FVscus forgets since first he was a Clarke , And ( now I thinke on 't ) well he might doe 〈◊〉 , That had of learning but so little sparke : Should he remember what he did not know ? No matter ( Fuscus ) halfe t'hexchequer knowes thee , That now so ancient shall not need to poze thee .

20 Sequitur vestigia matris . 'T is maruail'd much how Martha holds it out , That 's thought to haue so little commings in , Pish , none that knowes her duely makes that doubt : Besides , she comes not of so base a kin , For though her father were of Gentry wide , Shee 's borne a mad wench by the mothers side .

21 Quantum mutatus ab illo . ●Edes growne proud , makes men admire thereat , Whose baser breeding should ( they think ) not beare it , ●ay he on Cock-horse rides , how like you that ? ●ut Pedes prouerbe is , win gold and weare it : But Pedes you haue seene them rise in hast , That through their pride haue broake their neckes at last .

22 Malum commune pri●atum inc●ndium . HEllen of Tr●y , was held a wondrous Woman , ( If all things wondrous be which we admire ) ●et neuer was she knowne so wondrous common , ●hough gainst her will , she caus'd that wondrous fire : But wondrous is our Hellens more mistrust , That kindles thousands with her fire of lust .

23 Modò diues , pessimus vocetur . PRauus th' Atturny prooues himselfe to blame , By taking , as t is said , excessiue fees ; But his excuse is others doe the same , Which else for want of asking they should leese : Tut , who is he but scandall may depraue , That twice was vnder-Shreiue and yet no K. ?

24 Sat , Si formosa Camilla . CAmilla hath a faire and pleasing face , But it 's as common as her conuersation , She like esteemes your praise as her disgrace , That with a poxe bids farewell reputation ; For shee 'l maintaine the course she first began , To sweare , carowse , or lye with any man .

25 Vritur omnis Amor. ● Wonder Petrus lookes so paily on it , Whose late resemblance seem'd of sanguine hue ? ●ou shall not need ( Sir ) question much vpon it , ●is too well knowne how ( with a poxe ) it grew : T was ne'er yet sound with him since first he swore , To loue Rebecca that polluted —

26 Domi parcus , for as prodigus . WHen Toruus seldome sups or dines abroad , He seemes more curious then the best at table , ●nd with the daintiest dishes layes on load , ●lthough it cost him more then 's meanes is able : Thus at one meale himselfe the Buzard robs , That basely feedes at home on hearing-cobs

27 Nummorum impensas , non Veneris luxum fugit . GA●fridus growne a flincher now of late , Mongst his Comrages ( as men he neuer knew ) Will henceforth ( sweares ) those cursed courses hate ; And truely learne to lead his life anew , For proofe whereof and to auoyd such cost , He keepes him onely to one Wench at most .

28 Ingenium , vent●is amor , et pocula laedunt . WHy should not Pr●cus haue a pregnant wit , That hath so many proofes thereof profest , I see no reason much should hinder it , Hee 's rich inough , and fareth of the best : Drinckes as good liquor as is made of malt , But with his meat he eates too little Salt .

29 Quis tantiemeret poenitentiam ? SImplex , a Citizen was guld of late , Who sporting scarce a minute with his wench , ●ought his repentance at so deare a ra●e , ●s ere he could the Panders fury quench Was forst through coward feare , to pay the shot , Which might ensue that Simplex neuer got .

30 Quam sequimur deteriora . ● Aurentius hath of Ladies long beene lou'd , But he Adonis-like regards them not , ●or by their best inticements can be mou'd , ●nd yet an issue of his loynes hath got : By whom thinke you ? some beautious Nimph at least : To tell you true by Ioane his kitchin-Beast .

31 Vindicta vim sequitur . KIt being kickt and spurn'd pursues the Law . That doom'd the damage at twice forty-pence , Which when the partie that had wrong'd him saw ▪ Thought t' was too great a fine for such offence , Why then ( quoth Kit ) if I too much request , Thou maist at any time kick out the rest .

32 Sic Iupiter ●lim . WHen Siluio seekes a broad for Venery , He sutes him euer in some strange disguise , And like the Lapwing farthest off both flye , That none his dwelling know in any wise : Hath he not reason to be close and fearing , That iustice giues for others good abearing ?

33 Opinio maior veritate . WHat tell you Grosus now of Grammer rules , That hath a Chequer-clarke so long beene bred , ●s good you question him of Mares , or Mules , ●s poze him in a thing he neuer read : And yet your clyents stoope with cap and knee , To some ( God wot ) as scuruey Clarkes as he .

34 Turpe lucrum Veneris , WIll in a wilfull humour needes would wed A wench of wonder : but without a Stocke , ●hose fame no sooner through the street was spred ▪ ●ut thither straight our chiefest Gallants flocke : Put case she 's poore : brings she not chapmen on ? I hope his Stock may serue to graft vpon .

35 Fronti nulla fides . CAntus , that woolward went , was wondred at , Which he excus'd as done through meere cont●tio● But who so simple ( Cantus ) credits that ? T is too well knowne thou art of worse condition : And therefore if no linnen thee begirt , The naked truth will proue thou hast no shirt .

36 Lucri bonus odor . FAber , not fond or iealous of his wife , ( Though nere so faire ) from no mans sight restrai● For well he knowes t' would proue a hellish life , Besides the want of that which oft it gaines her : Taking no knowledge then they come for sinne , Sayes , Please ye enter Sirs ? my Wif 's within .

37 Magnis ●ors ausibus obstat . MOunseir le Graund , is hence from London go● , On vrgent businesse that concernes him neere , ●nd more disturbs him but to thinke vpon , ●hen any suddaine chance that came this yeere : Which might haue wrought his vt●er dissolution , Had he not scap'd that scuruy Execution .

38 Curiorum Bacchanalia . ●Aulinus poasteth euery day to Powles , But not to pray : that holds he out of fashion , from whence returning , to some Tauerne troules , ●here of his sinnes he makes more due relation : And calling most to minde the Scriueners band , He then bethinkes him Domes-day is at hand .

39 Voluisse satis , si non datur vltra . BEhold yon Greene-goose in his hauking suite , That 's booted still a month before he rides , To vrge the reason were but vaine dispute , Ther 's no man liuing knowes all times and tides : What can he more then pawne his scarf●e and swor● And yet the Ostler will not take this word .

40 Quod amamus laudamus . MArcus maintaines it boldly with his pen , And will approue it by Philosophy , That greatest Clarkes are not the wisest men , ( And therein shewes you many reasons why : ) Amongst the rest not least considerate , Brings his defence from Tom the Coryate .

41 Suum cuique pulchrum . ●Osthumus not the last of many more , Askes why I writ in such an idle vaine , ●eing there are of Epigrams such store , ●h , giue me leaue to tell thee once againe , That Epigrams , are fitted to the season Of such as best know how to make rime reason .

42 Fama Mendax . REport thou sometimes art ambicious , At other times too sparing couetous , ●ut many times exceeding enuious , ●nd out of time most diuellish furious : Of some or all of these I dare compound thee , But for a lyar haue I euer found thee .

43 Quid non ●brieta● ? RVbin reports his Mistrisse is a Punck , Which being told her , was no whit dismaid , For sure as death ( quoth she ) the villain 's drunck , And in that ●aking knowes not what he said : T' was well excus'd : but oft it comes to passe , That true we finde In Vino veritas .

44 Ex Nihilo nihil . T' Wer wondrous , Niger should so long neglect To take a Wife , either for wealth or wit , But that t' was knowne he had some close defect , Which from his very rising hindred it : For what to women most content should bring , Was flatly found in him to proue no Thing .

45 Nescit modum rationis expers . WHen late Bartellus wife began to breed , She long'd for Crabs , and Dagger-Puddingpyes ; ●ext time on pickeld Oysters must she feed , ●ll which , and more , her carefull husbands buyes , So oft she longs for sundry dainty things , As all is spent er' she her Bastard brings .

46 Non penna , sed vsus . CAius accompts himselfe accurst of men , Only because his Lady loues him not : ●ho ( till he taught her ) scarce could hold her pen , ●nd yet hath since another Tutor got . Caius it seemes thy skill she did but cheapen , And meanes to try him at another weapon .

47 Pari iugo ●ulcis tractus . WIL and his wife so well loue one another , As oft their strife is which would first be dea● Meane while ( the better to partake with other ) Lye closely kissing all day long a bed : For so their fancies both iumpe on the nick , He cals her Cunny , she him little Prick .

48 Manus manum fric●t . CAecus indebted , wants wherewith to pay , Vnto mine Host ; but doth therewith appeale To his kinde Hostise , crauing longer day : That with her euer yet did kindely deale , For let her speake ( quod Caecus ) iust and truely , She cannot say , but I haue payd her duely .

49 Opus & Vsus . OPus for need consum'd his wealth a pace , And ne'er would cease vntill he was vndone ; ●is brother Vsus liu'd in better case ●hen Opus did , although the eldest sonne ; T was strange it●should be so ; but here was it , Opus had all the Land , Vsus the Wit ,

50 Posse non velle , virum nobilitat . FEstus could finde in 's heart to eat good cheere , To weare rich garments , and conuerse with Ear●e● , ●o reuell it with the best , and domineere Amongst the choisest and most sweetest Girles . But this ( quoth Festus ) feeles to him curse , To finde in 's heart , and cannot finde in 's purse .

51 Vulgaria sperno . SOme maruaile why these Epigrams I write , To one proportions limit me confines ; As if I could no more nor lesse indite , But iust the measure of so many lines . To answere such as therein thinke I erre , Spite of their spleene I will be singuler .

52 Dulce lenimen , miseriarum . RAueus restraind of libertie , lies by it , But therewith is resolu'd to take no care : For Raucus reckons not who ere espie it , So long as there are yet some chincks to share , Let Fortune doe the worst that she can doe him , If but his Doll , that dainty Duck come to him .

53 O tempora , O mores . SAm sayes this new world differs from the old , Who knowes not that ? there 's no man can deny it : ●ictuals were nere so deare , nor loue so cold , The matter is , he wants where with to buy it . But ( Sam ) thou neuer yet couldst heare or see , That beggers were more proud then now they be .

54 Regina paecunia quid non ? NVmmus subborn'd a Counsellor on his part , Gainst Innocence that knew not what to speake ▪ ●ut free in Conscience had a cheerefull hart : And yet constrain'd , his minde at length did breake Vnto him , saying , Sir , you play the Poet , That know the truth , yet will not seeme to know it .

55 Veniunt spectentur vt ipst . WHen yong Rogero goes to see a play , His pleasure is you place him on the Stage , The better to demonstrate his aray , And how he sits attended by his Page , That onely serues to fill those pipes with smoke , For which he pawned hath his riding Cloke .

56 Sic ar● diluditur arte . A Sarieant that a Seruingman arrested , Bad him bring Bayle , or else to prison goe , Which , to procure on 's word , the man requested , And left his Ring as in deposito : The Saricant hauing staid till Sun had set , Was forst ( as Fortune would ) to pay the debt .

57 Naturam Ducern sequi●ur . MEstus growne dull and dead through discontent : But if his Trull , that sees him sotted , say , ●ow cheere you Syr ? or is impatient ●f her dispatch , and sweares she will not stay , Oh , then hee 'l rouze himselfe , and gins to fall Vnto his busines , like a naturall .

58 Rediculae admirationis facetum responsum . LAnius that late a load of Calues did bring , Vpon his horse through Fleet street to his dore , Was of a Studient thought so strange a thing , As if he nere had seene the like before : When boldly Lanius ( looking backe ) replide , Ther 's many a Calfe ( Syr ) doth on horsebacke ride .

59 Conscius ipse sibi , &c. REader , perhaps thou think'st I aime at thee , Yes , much : to meane a man I doe not know ? Besides I hope thou neuer iniur'dst me , Then t' wer vnlikely ( faith ) it should be so : But as by chance the blind-man takes the Hare , So may I hit thee ere I am aware .

60 Male agens , odit lucem . DOrus disdaines those verses he compos'd , Should to the presse or publike view be broug● Least greater matter be thereby disclos'd , Then euer yet before was done or thought : Prouided alwaies you may see him drunck , Spend , sport , or spue , with any Shoredich Punck .

61 Inuisibilis forma . MIstrisse Madrill weares euermore her maske , Which makes the people very much admire ; ●●t none so saucy dares the reason aske , ●●r contradict it since t is her desire : For painted pictures , must ( you know the guise ) Be alwaies curtain'd from the vulger eyes .

62 Mali corui , maelum ouum . SQuinto that peasant , with his meager face , Whose tongue is like vnto an Adders tayle , ●ust out of spleene these Epigrams disgrace , And if you 'd hang him cannot chuse but raile ) His reason is that old distemperd rage , Who writing nere but once was hist from Stage .

63 Vsur●em damnat● vim patitur . CRaesus a Gallant , but of no great wit , Inueighes gainst Vsury and interest ; Main●ayning simplie that it is vnfit Mens substance by such profit were increast : But Craesus , talke no more , for I haue knowne , When you your selfe haue put vp three for one .

64 Canis ad vomitum , 〈◊〉 that each night goes duely drunck to bed , Forgets to pray vntill her●●en is ; And hath next morning druncke againe and fed , Then sweares as fast at whatsoeres amisse , So much hee 's mou'dat wagging of a haire , As Dick dares damne himselfe fore morning pra●

65 Ictus Piscator sapit . BRutus at length escap'd the Surgions hands , Begins to frolick as if all were well ; ●nd would not for the worth of thrice his lands , ●ndure the brunt of such another hell ; But leaues this farewell for his Phisicks hire , The child that 's burnt , for euer dreads the fire .

66 Contemptae i●cent artes . ●Oung Valentinus writes as many hands As any Clarke within the Towne he dwels ; ●e Latin , French , and Du●ch he vnderstands , multis alys more then much excels : ●here's no man knows how Fortune yet may lift him , ●hough at this time he wants a shirt to shift him .

67 Caecus amor , caeca libido . SEcretus in the night a drabbing goes , That lurking liues by day-light like the Owle ; But then his lustfull lims vpon her throwes , And nere lookes on her , be she faire or foule , Or lewd , or loathsome , lam'd , diseas'd , or commo● It onely likes Secretus shee 's a woman .

68 Quorsum purgatio haec ? COrnelius thinkes it best he take purgation , As well t' expell those homours that abound , As to beguile some others expectation , That for his pleasure pleaseth not be found : I doubt Cornelius then will purge so long , As hee 'l not leaue himselfe a penny strong .

69 Tunica Pallio proprior . TIburnus keepes a Tauerne neere the Fields , Where Ba●chus fild with Nectar nightly sports , And Venus pleas'd , with sweet perswasion yeelds ; Vnseene of Vulcan when as Mars resorts , But to iumpe plainely to the point indeed , T' is thought his Wife best serues the turne at need .

70 Stultorum Sapientia . COrinus waxen poore deuised best What Art or skill might next aduantage bring , So many proofes his cunning had profest , As could be fram'd almost on any thing : At length resolu'd , his Countrie he for sooke , And of his trauailes wrote a fustian Booke .

71 Non Brachia sed Nasus . NIck being druncke one night disgrac'd his nose Against the poast , he groping could not feele , Nor how he hurt himselfe doth yet suppose , But that his head was lighter then his heele : ) But Nick , if I might censure of thy harmes , I thinke thy nose was longer then thine armes .

72 Faetido sic fla●u , turget superbia . AS young Renaldo stood diuising best To please his Lady with some pretty tale , ( Whose setled countenance there to addrest And bashfull blushing did him then appale ) He therewith coughing , chanc'd to let a fart , Which euer since hath dasht him out of hart .

73 Nec caste , nec cautè . VVlcanus vowes to prosecute the law , Gainst one that wronged his beloued Nell ; Whom for her part she neuer felt nor saw : And how she liues that let her neighbours tell , If she her cariage doe not closely beare , Though he , her husband , once a Bankerout were .

74 Infamia , fama . SArdinia swaggers , but with good report . Though she preserue a morsell for her friend , The course she takes is of another sort ; Then doth to Groomes or Wastcoat wenches tend ; For , ( but her selfe excepted ) shee 'l be sworne , The worst are Knights on Gentlewomen borne .

75 Nescis quò serus vesper vehat . LIncus deuiseth as he lyes in 's bed , What new apparell he were best to make him ; So many fashions flow within his head , As much he feares the Tailor will mistake him : But he mistooke him not that by the way Did for his olde Suite lay him vp that day .

76 Est mihi diua parens , &c. OWinus wondreth since he came from Wales , What the description of this I le should be , That nere had seene but Mountaines , Hils , and Dales , Yet would he boast , and stand on 's Pedegree , From Rice ●p Richard , sprung from Dick a Cow , Be Cod was right gud Gentleman : looke ye now ?

77 Nulli Thai negat . LVcina likes not to be ouer coy Amongst those friends that come in loue to greet her For mirth and Musick euer was her ioy , And therein failes she none that dares but meet her : So firme her fancies doe on pleasures fixe , As she is wholy made of Merry-tricks .

78 Matrimonium meritrici Pallium . MArcella doth her daughter oft aduise , She take example by her sisters fall , Least worser danger should to her arise , And may her credit in like question call , Till she in marriage so her selfe aduance , As may support it whatsoeuer might chance .

79 Simul & semel . CAntus both wood and wedded in one day , ( Nor was it wondrous , as the case required ) For she with childe , no reason had to stay , And he contented , lik't what loue desired : Vntill he saw how soone her wombe did rise , Which she excus'd , was now the common guise .

80 Bacchus triumphans . COcus that quondum kept both horse and man , And could haue tane what not ? vpon his word : Now walkes the Suburbs without Cloake or Wan , And fares as Fortune pleaseth to aford ; More shame then pittie t is , a man would thinke So great a portion could be spent in drinke ?

81 Sequitur vestigia Matris . ●Idus too franckly brings his Wife abroad , Amongst our Roysters of the deepest ranck , ● who should say she that awry hath troad , ●ll play the same , but not a worser pranck , Vnlesse she iumpe so iust her Mothers mould , As like to her shee 'l proue as often sould .

82 Monstrum intus & extra . MOnsieur Mendoza weares a nose notorious , Not like the luster of each Malmsey nose ; ●t such whose splendor is more glorious , ●en richest Rubies , or the reddest Rose , Briefly the tenor , if I must di ●elose , Mendoza hath indeed a monstrous nose .

83 Par pari , referrs decet . OLd Menedemus that would neuer wed , But made his wenches serue in stead of men , Is now at length of such a morsellsped As quits his quondams with a Carde of ten ; For all those mungers did her most maintaine , She now payes home with twice as much againe .

84 Quid cogit necessitas ? WHen Luscus late beheld a proper Lasse , And of her dainties had desire to taste , Not knowing how to bring his sute to passe , He vow'd to speede or hang himselfe in haste ; She , fearing Luscus would haue don 't indeed , Yeelds , more to saue his necke then serue his nee● .

85 Ingentes , tollunt aminos . QVint●s by nature was so hot and fierie , As on the least occasion straight would draw , And run himselfe into a Proeminiri , ●ith resolution , in dispight of law , Vntill the Gaile for twelue moneth taught him diet , Where ( purg'd of choller ) Quintus now liues quiet .

86 Parturiunt montes , &c. PEtrus will bring forth Epigrams heereafter , But I deliuered am : my paines are past . ●hen must his Muse be but my Muses daughter , ●ecause ( you see ) mine giues the name of last : But Petrus meanes t' inlarge his Booke with blancks , Fearing more labor , and more lines , then thanckes .

87 Furoris praecipitium . IOsephus hath his learning quite forgot , Yet , hence these Epigrams he headlong flings , That by no meanes his fancy feedeth not , They are such brutish beastly baudy things , Was 't not well aimd at , on so short a sight ? Few of your fooles doe alwaies iump so right .

88 Superbioe comes , inopia . SVsan that whilome wore her gownes of sattin , And far'd deliciously from day to day , ( Translated into French from out of Latin , ) Is faln at length into that foule decay As all the meanes and mony she can win , Will scarce procure the Spittle take her in .

89 Tempus ed●x rerum . WHen Mistris Win did first her wastcoat weare , She scarcely could that cariage then maintaine , ● now on float her selfe a lost doth beare , ●h flaggs and top-sailes launching forth amaine : Whose force in hottest fight exceeds so farre , As dares encounter any man of Warre .

90 Asp●●um nimis condimentum . MOunseir Albanus new inuested is With sundry suites and fashions passing fit , ● neuer any came so neare as this , ● ioy where of Albanus frollickes it , Vntill the Tailors bill of Solui fias , Diuerts his humour cleane to another byas .

91 Tobacco , vinum , Venus . FOcus growne fat , liues like an Epicure , And studies daily how he shall be fed , That can no more your walkes in Powles indure , But takes Tobacco as he lies in 's bed : Where belching ( like a Boare ) he cals for Sack ▪ And only keepes a Whore to scratch his backe .

92 Mulus mulam fricat . HOw comes it Mildred our next neighbours m● That serues for wages scarce foure markes a ye● Should goe so rich and gorgiously arai'd , As to no little wonder may appeare ? Oh , t' is her Maister deales so like a brother , As one good turne deserues to quite another .

93 Quis Ebrius laudat temperantia● ? SEuerus likes not these vnseasoned lines , Of rude absurdities , times soule abuse 〈◊〉 all posterities , and their assignes , ●●at might haue beene ( saith he ) to better vse : What sencelesse Gull , but reason may conuince , Or lade so dull but being kickt will wince ?

94 Facies , non vxor amatur . CAnutus knowne a man of substance plenty , And growne a Grandsire to no meane a stocke ▪ ●ath wedded one suppos'd was vnder twentie , ●hom poorely he receiu'd but in her smocke : That since for recompence a sonne hath brought him , So old and able who would ere haue thought him ?

95 Nobilitas ignota , ignobilis . 〈◊〉 boasts his Kin and Pedegree , Are such as may compare with greatest Peeres , Nor can your Coate by halfe so ancient be ; Before the Conquest knowne for many yeeres ; If that be ancient , which we doe not not know , Then I conclude , his Gentry may be so .

96 Summis negatum stare di● . THarsus in Office beares himselfe as great As 〈◊〉 Bastard , who such labour won : Or 〈◊〉 himselfe that sate in 〈◊〉 seate , Or 〈…〉 said to rule the Sunne : But so presum●tuous he forgets his calling , As with young Ica●us I feare his falling .

97 Nonre , sed nomine Sponsus . LVcina languishing through long dispaire , That since her marriage-day ner'bred yong bones , ( And yet a Woman lusty , young , and faire , ) 〈◊〉 now deliuered of two Boyes at once : For which the Midwife prais'd her husbands skill , Yes : true ( quoth she ) the man did his good will .

98 Vadas si inuideas . MOmus , thy mallice I haue lookt for long , And made prouision fit to entertaine thee ; ●ut if thou guerdon my good will with wrong ●hy comming I le preuent , and much disdaine thee . My boord for bitter foes no meat affords , Thou therefore shalt be forst to eate thy words .

99 Quam fallimur in certis ? IOcus in 's humour weareth out the day , Counting it sinne to take thought for to morrow , And makes a iest when he should come to pay ; But pleads good earnest when he meanes to borrow . Yet see how Iocus iests at length deceaues him , That in the hole of Wood stre●t-Counter leaues him ▪

100 Inequales trahunt Iuu●ncae . CVrta nere mourn'd her husband being dead , Because she was too young , and wanted wit ; But Curta since ( the second time ) hath sped , With one as much too olde , and more vnfit , Which ( if you marke it ) makes the prouerbef● She that hath borne a Calfe , now beares a Bull.

101 Ambitio faeminini generis . MIstres Matressa hopes to be a Lady , ( Not as a dignitie of late expected ) But from the time almost she was a Baby , That hath your richest Gentlemen reiected , But yet not dubd in present , as she should be , Proues in expectance still , my Lady would be .

102 Amor non est acceptor personarum . IVlia hath sworne to loue her Seruingman , On whom she dares before her husband smile ; And enterchange those greetings now and than As may the times and his mistrust beguile , For Iulia thinketh it in conscience meet , ( sweet Who tastes the sowre , should sometimes feele th●●

103 Vnus Diabolus dominatur intribus . AScriuener and a Vsurer contends Against a Sarieant , which performeth most : Th' one sayes , he bindes ; th' other his money lends Then what ( quoth they ) remaines that thou shouldst Yes ( saith the Sarieant ) if you note it well , ( boast ? I can conduct men liuing into Hell .

104 Sublata causa tollitur effectus . MOunseur Riero hath his wedlocke lost , That gainst his credit proues a strong inuectiue : Some censure this , and that ; but by the most It 's found apparant that he was defectiue : And therefore must he in a case so slender Be forc't perforce his right and clayme surrender .

105 Aquila non capit muscas . GRandus that great Colossus gins to learne him The Rules that longeth to a cunning Clarke : But saucy he 's to thinke my lines concerne him , Or any drunkard stumbling in the darke . No Grandus , know , I write of greater men , Thou art too base a subiect for my Pen.

106 Praestat otiosum esse quam male agere . Vcres liues lazely , and loues her ease , Medling with nought that toyle or labour brings ; ●ut to be idle lesse doth Lucres please ●hen to be medling with the meanest things , Which she accompts but as a veniall sinne , Hauing ( alas ) no other commings in .

107 Quot capita , tot sensus . SOme much commends your Humours ordinary , Others doe more affect the louely Greeke ; But most extols our English Secretary , No one can please all : all loue not alike . Giue me that fellowes wit , whose follies Rime , Was bare-arst pictur'd on the backe of Time .

108 Nititur in vetitum . ASke Minos why he marries not , hee 'l say Because he will not liue at Rack and Manger ; Whiles he may take a snatch , and so away In common corners , as a common Ranger ; T were no great matter if a man should name him ▪ Pish , bring him on the Stage you cannot shame hi● ▪

109 Vnusquisque suo sensu . AS are my Epigrams no way precise , Or curiously compact , but plaine indeed ; So wish I not the Reader , ouerwise , To wrest or censure where there is no need , But if thou wilfull wilt apply them to thee , All that I say , is , much good may they doe thee .

110 Aliud simulat , aliud agit . ●Roface ( quoth Fuluio ) fil's the tother quart , Nay , since w' are met , let vs not budge till tenne : ●hat's he that will not pledge me with a heart ? ●ll this to any one dares say Amen , But calling for a Iourden , steales away , And leaues the reckoning for the rest to pay .

111 Serio , si Sero . NO more carowsing Tomki● , if you loue me ; When was there seene a ciuill woman drunke ? In any thing but this command or proue me : Nay , then you 'ld vse me as a common Puncke . Faith Syr , I scorn 't : nor care I for your Wine , Giue me your money ere you haue what 's mine .

112 Ede , bibe , lude . COme on , sayes Mounseur Rake-hill , what shal● do● Shal 's kill a Sarieant , or go rob for treasure ? What hath thy stomacke most a minde vnto ? We ne're shall yonger purchase greater pleasure : Liue still , and lacke ? s'●ut , something wee 'l intend , They can but hang vs for 't and ther 's an end .

113 Moritur cum tempor● mutant . SVperbus lookes no lower then the skie , Yet is vnskilfull in Astronomie : ●is like he knowes for certaine he must die , ●ut would not see the place where he should lie : Take heed Saperbus , may a number cry , Thou be not damn'd for pride and villanie .

114 Nocturnae lu●ubrationes periculos● . ●Lora gaines more by labor in the night , Then can her husband purchase any way : ●hat would she not procure her if she might ●e so imployd ' with businesse all the day ? That might be censur'd soone by him , or those Who best the burthens of her labour knowes .

115 Sequentur tandem deteriora . HAng 't , a poxe on 't ( quoth Vincent ) let it goe , T' is not the most that I haue lost before , He was a Rascall to abuse me so : Spent I as much as he is worth and more T' will not vndoe me : but ( braue Vince ) it will , If you continue in this humour still .

116 Quod roget Natura ●iat . MAtilda growne to age , full fourteene yeares , Betroths her selfe against her Fathers will , And lesse the threatnings of her mother feares To ioyne in wedlock , proue it good or ill : Which to vndoe she scorneth with her heeles , So much she now the pricke of conscience feeles .

117 Sic ars diluditur absen● . WHen Ralph returnes each euening from a play , He tells his wife he was at shop that while , Which simply she beleeues and goes her way , ●hen laughes to see he could her so beguile And come vpon her : but if all be true , Ther 's many ( Ralph ) playes on her more then you .

118 Quisque sua vindicat . MY Epigrams how euer poorely borne , And at an instant hudled vp in hast , ●oe boldly yet the name of Bastard scorne , ●hat sauour not of stolne or borrowed taste : Many haue father'd what they haue not knowne , My comfort onely is , What 's mine 's mine owne .

119 Quaesola , magis errat . YOung Mistris Rose to Pymlico is gone , ( A place I hope no City creature blames , ) But it 's suspicious that she walkes alone , And not in troopes amongst our London Dames : Because the wicked tearmes it as a Bursse , To meete and talke , but afterwards doe worse .

120 Facile obliuiscuntur maximi . GAllanto fall's in rage this other day , Missing a suite he thought was stolne , or sould , But presently remembred where it lay , For by his Page t' was peremptory told , He knew before ( which need no such vexation ) That that and more was pawnd the last vacation .

121 Audentes fortuna iuuat . ●Souldier once a Widdow would haue woo'd , But being poore and loath to be deni'd , ●st not impart how he affected stood , ●ich she as soone thus censur'd as espi'd : You may be valiant ( Sir ) but seeme vnlusty , That either haue no weapon , or t' is rusty .

122 Exclamat Sydera sero . ●Oung Maister Pignus sweares he lesse indures To deale with Brokers then so many Diuels , ●ich next to Baudes , and Panders him assures , euen as bad or rather worser euils : That more inflict ( saith he ) then sword , or dearth , And therefore cals them very Diuels on earth .

123 Forma , bonum fragilè . RVgosa waxen old hath broke her glasse , And liues in hatred with her owne complectio● Remembring but the forme it whilelome was , Which when she lookt on gaue that sweet reflecti●● But now despayring , thinkes no christall stone ▪ Can shew good count'nance that receiueth non●

124 Conscia mens quaeritur . LYsanders wife nere ioy'd her harts content , Since now this second time she prou'd with chil●● For well she knew the labour ill was spent , That had her Husband secretly beguild : But most to thinke ( which is the worst shee f●● The worlds suspicion when it comes to yeeres .

125 Amica omnibus , inimica nulli . NEd with his first espoused neuer thriu'd , The reason was her vnalluring feature , ●ut now at length with such a wench hath wiu'd , 〈◊〉 is compos'd another kinde of Creature : Who faster then a man bespeakes her wares , Deales all she can to free her Husbands car●s .

126 Fatinecessitas . WHen Taurus plagues the people through his might , Hee 'l still alledge the law shal beare him out ; ●hough conscience knowes t' is neither iust nor right , ●et threats by law to bring the same about : But Taurus for a Cuckold 's pointed at , I wonder Taurus hath no law for that ?

127 In caud● non in capite . SIlla in rage hath sworne to leaue the law , That will not halfe suffice to beare his charge , Such takings in a Tearme he neuer saw , And little reason hath to spend at large , Were not his wife of Clients better sped , Silla had long ere this beene dead , or fled .

128 Cynicus . NA●ure hath fram'd Fastidius like a Dogge , Of that vnhumane shape , so true a Dogge As he 's reputed for a very Dogge , Or rather one more biting then a Dogge : Who since by due he is so deem'd a Dogge , It must ensue that he will dye a Dogge .

129 Aliquid bonum propter vicinum bonum . WHen Borus with his betters ●its at Board , He vomits straight his humours bitternes , ●nd will exceptions take at euery word : ●lthough it poyson proue to more or lesse , Who patient must perforce therewith partake , Not for his owne , but for his Phillis sake .

130 Tam notus vt nasus . TOM takes it as a pride that I should name him Within the Circuit of my Bookes precinct ; 〈◊〉 intercepts me , with , I can not shame him , ● if he knew my meaning by instinct : For thus , hopes he , the more a man rayles on him , The more he will in time bestow vpon him .

131 Theatrum licentia . COtta's become a Player , most men know , And will no longer take such toyling paines ; For heer 's the spring ( saith he ) whence pleasures flo● And brings them damnable excessiue gaines , That now are Cedars growne from shrubs and sprig●● Since Greenes Tu-quoque and those Garlicke ligs .

132 Sola meamecum porto . SOme , that my lines haue madded , make report , What er' I write is all by imitation ; Others , of whose abuses I make sport , Say , that I want more matters variation , Or that from borrowed-wit I seeke my fame , Let them haue patience , I 'le pay each his shame .

133 Equitare i● arundine longa . ●Oane loueth not this iesting with edge-tooles , That oft were wont to hurt her vnawares , ●nd therefore meanes to deale with none but fooles ●●frich inough ) how blunt , she neuer cares ; Though well 't is knowne her iesting's too too euill , For shee is able conny-catch the Deuill .

134 Maximus Ignotis . GOrgonius brags what wonders he hath wrought , Tickling himselfe with selfe-conceit vaine-glory , ●sin what fray or skirmish he hath fought : ●o strangers whom hee meets hee 'l preach a story , But what thou art Gorgonius well I wot , 'T is best thou tell it them that know thee not .

135 Audi , cerne , tace . FOrtune ( it seemes ) respects not honesty , Nor enuyes any man that doth her scorne ; For Tassus seem'd her honest friend to be , And yet his Fortune is to weare the Horne , Which kindely he puts vp and will not blow it , Because his foes , to spite him , shall not know it .

136 Contra vim durare noluit . PArnella pines away with discontent , And of mis-fortunes deepely doth deplore her ▪ Deeming the powers no way indifferent , Her younger sister should be match before her : And herein will the case no longer smother , For since shee is no wife shee 'l proue a mother .

137 Peccatum vetus , paenitentia nou● . ●Agus , with 's wit , at length was ouer-reacht , Who hauing won a Widdowes chastitie , 〈◊〉 more her credit then his owne impeacht , ●her with childe through importunitie , But since supposing all things done and ceast , ●s forst to pay an hundred pounds at least .

138 O stulte hac nocte , &c. ●Varus wisht his Coyne and cou●●les store , Might in a moment yeeld him so much more ; 〈◊〉 saw behind him in a looking glasse , ●worthlesse wish at length was come to passe : ●ut then came Death that did the Miser smother , ●nd gaue him equall ioy of th' one as th' other .

139 Stultus varietatis auidus . ZOilus expects my verses more should vary , To please the Readers eare with choise digress●● Tut Zoilus , know , I am not mercenary , Besides , it is no badge of my profession : Yet few haue writ more Epigrams then I. Who sayes the contrary , I say , they lye .

140 Tandem sese ●urgit in al●um . DIck swore he doubted not to mount ere long , And be no more the man he whillome was , For he would liue or lie in prison strong , Which to make good he quickly brought to pass● That hauing rob the vestry at Al-hallowes , Was forc'd within a fortnight mount the gallo●●

141 Non intus sed extra . A Citizen ( whose wife would sometimes sport ) Spying her tricks , first grieu'd , and then fell sicke , To whom his friends would oftentimes resort , And aske him where his paine did ake or pricke ; No where ( quoth he ) yet well I shall be neuer , The paine I feele , is long of my bad liuer .

142 Vt populus Nanus . NAnus , though dwarfish , hath a diuellish wit , Whose tongues the harbenger , that gets him diet , ●nd therewith striues all companies to fit , Though what he wants , hee 'l boast his gold shall buy it : Aske how he liues , hee 'l tell you straight ( with oathes ) By trickes , Tobacco , strumpets , and good cloathes .

143 Amalo ad peius . MIlo with 's swearing makes absurdities Amongst the vulgar , seeme as verities ; For that ( thinks he ) a man esteemes his oath , Whom otherwise to credit would be loath : But now such is his chance whereat hee 's grieu'd , The more he sweares , the lesse he is belieu'd .

144 Quae vetera non curamtu . MY Epigrams escap'd the Printers hand , Eyther on Stationers stal's regardles lye , Or must on Posts , for pennance , nayled stand , That euery one may gaze on , passing by ; Which to preuent , and therewith purchase pelfe , Tom Coriat solde the Bookes he made himselfe .

145 Non honos , sed onus . A Knight that bought his Order , straight grew ill , complaining much that he had caught mischance ●●isitions could not cure him with their skill , ●or he himselfe with all his strength aduance : He straind his backe so stooping to the ground , As he nere since could lift vp twenty pound .

146 Dignum , quod merito . ●Ammon the Vsurer hath such a wife , As layes it on , though he himselfe doth starue ; 〈◊〉 is resolu'd to liue a Ladies life , ●●e whilest his pelfe may her in pompe preserue : Mammon , this curse pursues thy wealths abuse , She spends for pleasure what thou gots by vse .

147 Patris aegrotans . DEgo grew sicke because his Dad left giuing , And of consumption would haue dy'd out-right ▪ Had not the Churle the sooner left his liuing . Whereby Mas Dego since was dub'd a Knight . Vnhappy sonne , to draw such vitall breath , That Phoenix like liu'st by thy fathers death ?

148 Facile parta , facilius locata . TWo Lawyers opposite in two mens cases , Rayld at each other in most vehement sort ; With many bitter termes and foule disgraces , As those that hard them , blusht at such report : Next night they meeting , laught at their past-ia● And what they got , spent freely at the Barre .

149 A malo ad peius . A Country Farmer had a friend at Court , That for his Coine procur'd him to be Knighted On whom his neighbours now giues worse report , Saying , that since all house-keeping is slighted , Therefore , in truth , they did him much vnright , To spoile so good a Clowne for such a Knight .

150 Vt tempora , mores . A Pander once appareld wondrous braue , Was askt why Fortune fauor'd such a knaue ; Who said , by Fortunes-wheele he did not clime , Our riches comes ( quoth he ) by this bald time , Wherein we free our selues from paines and care , Liuing , like Barbers , by mens losse of haire .

151 Non Verbera , sed verba . TWo Schollers late appointed for the field , Must ( which was weakest ) to the other yeeld ; ●he quarrell first began about a word , ●hich now should be decided by the sword : But ere they drew , there fell that alteration , As they grew friends againe with disputation .

152 Vera filia matris . A Gentle Virgin sprung of gentle blood , Much on her birth and reputation stood , Who prou'd so gentle to Gentillitie , As she was got with childe apparantly : For if men gently would put kindnesse on her , She neuer would vngently put it from her .

153 In fundis Parsimonia . CAius hath vow'd it for this yeere at least , To sup no more in Tauernes at such charge , But in his priuate Chamber meanes to feast , And send for victuals by his men at large , Tut , what should Caius in such cost excell , When Egges , and Butter will suffice as well ?

154 Suum cuique pulchrum . CVruus being askt why he such Roses wore , Vpon his durty Calue-skin-cobbled shooes ? ●nd euermore in summer Sockes forbore ? His answere was , he could nor will , nor chose : But Curnus know such Roses are vnmeete , To help the sauour of thy stincking feete .

155 Post dulcia finis amarus . IEnkin a Welchman that had suites in law , Iournying to London chanc'd to steele a Cow , For which ( poxe on her lucke , as neare man saw , ) Was burnt within the fist and know not how : Being askt if well the lawes with him did stand , Was haue her now ( quoth Ienkin ) in her hand .

156 Ignotae , nulla Cupido . FLorella , fal'n a yeare before her time , ( To salue the forfeit of her Mayden head That must no longer for promotion clime ) Prostrates her selfe vnto a Vintners bed , Where Gallants knock each midnight at her do To taste the Iuyce that had no Bush before .

157 Nemo nascitur Artifex . ●F these ( quoth Potus ) proue not things admir'd , When poore Mechannick toyling Water-men , ●●all with Apolloes Muse be straight inspir'd , ●o leaue their Sculls , and deale with Poets-pen : Let Hercules be henceforth tearm'd a Dwarfe , And Paules-Church-yard exchang'd for Puddle-Whar●e .

158 Praui magis p●osunt . ●Ionus the Scriuener by procurements gets More in a month then keepes him all the yeere , ●owing those Mountibanckes that mony lets , 〈◊〉 forfeit-pledges ( proue they neare so deare : ) Let Baudes ( quoth Pignur ) beg , and Brokers fall , It 's too well knowne , he gaines the Diuell and all .

159 Mala crescunt deteriora . PHilo takes Phisicke euery spring and fall , Presuming thereby to prolong his life , But neuer notes the danger therewithall That comes by nigling with his neighbours wife , Poxe on 't : but last yeere shauen to the chin , Must now againe this tearme anew begin ?

160 Tandem saturata Cupido . IEta that whilome Lady-like did let it , Vpon the wheele of Fortunes highest top : And scorn'd to feare mischance ( if Gold could let● Now prostrate keepes a poore Tobacco-shop , Where wonted paines to win the golden fleece ; Of each , is purchast but at pence a piece .

161 Foeminae ludificantur ●irs● . ●Inde Katheren to her husband kist these word● , Mine ownesweet Will , how well doe I loue thee ? ●●rue ( quoth Will ) the world no such affords , ●nd that it 's true I durst his warrant be : ) For nere heard I of Woman good or ill , But alwayes loued best her owne sweet Will.

162 Timet , seipsum noscere . ●Acus doth daily to his Doctor go , As doubting if he be in health or no ; 〈◊〉 when his friends salute him passing by , 〈◊〉 aske him how he doth , in courtesie , He will not answere thereunto precise , Till from his Doctor he hath tane aduise .

163 Cignus per plumas A●ser . PVt off thy Buskins ( Soph●eles the great , ) And Morter tread with thy disdained shancks , Thou think'st thy skill hath done a wondrous feat , For which the world should g●ue thee many thancks ▪ Alas , it seemes thy feathers are but loose , Pluckt from a Swanne , and set vpon a Goose.

164 Fingit quod Foemina vellet . CLara halfe angry with my Bawdy song , Straight tolde her husband she had done with 〈◊〉 Fie Clara , I should suffer much more wrong , Ere I would tell what I haue done with thee ; But Clara , should I speake my conscience plain● I know thou wouldst it were to doe againe .

165 Per linguam ●audam . FRisca saith faine she would be rid of me , And in that scorne she takes a wondrous pride : Frisca , hearke hither what I le say to thee , Thou art too rancke a Iade for me to ride : And therefore prethee ( Frisca ) doe not raile , For feare they venom'd tongue disclose thy ( )

166 Dupliciter beatus . A Freeman once of London made a Knight , Would in that Order still maintaine his Trade , ●nd trafficke as before , taking delight ●o say , his wealth would grow when Titles fade , T' was wisely thought vpon , so let it be , Thy sonne shall braue it for himselfe and thee .

167 Sic surd● canimus . A Welshman was to an Italian tolde , That could his language perfectly dispute , Which he beleeu'd as Gospell vncontrold , And with Italian gins him straight salute , Th' other , admiring as a man dismaid , Answer'd in Welsh he knew not what he sayd .

168 Conscia quae nota . LExander cald Carina Hackney-woman , True : borne at Hackney ; that was no disgrace : Oh yes , she doubts you deem'd her hackney-commo● Alluding more her person then the place . For why ? her conscience tels her vnrequired , How like a Hackney she hath long beene hyred .

169 Praestat latrare quam mordere . OLd Chub for cheapnes chose to liue in Commons , But not to study more then Kitchins law ; 〈◊〉 harkning when the Cooke a manger summons , ●nd that 's Chubs chiefest care , to cramb his maw , Oh no , I lye : he keepes in cleanly case , The Pumpe , the Priuie , and the Pissing-plac● .

170 Dignior faemnia marito . ●Aius shifts not so oft his Seruing men As doth his wife exchange her Chamber-maid● , ●e one but notes him iealous now and then , ●'other ( should seeme ) her secrets more vpbraids , The poore effect whereof consists in this , He but the shadow , she the substance is ,

171 Senibus voluisse satis . OLd Caecus that a young wench sought to win ▪ Protested he would proue an honest man , Sauing this one prouiso putteth in , You may not barre his feeling now and than ; For though his stomack doth your flesh dispise , To sup the broth would Caecus yet suffice .

172 Quid non verba suadeant ? SExtus halfe salu'd his credit with a iest , That at a reckoning this deuise had got , When he should come to draw amongst the rest And saw each man had coyne ; himselfe had not , His empty pocket feeles , and gins to say , By Iesu Syrs , here 's not a Crosse to pay .

173 Nemo ●isi per vultum notus . CAcus constraind on suddaine to vntrusse , Turn'd vp his podex in the open street But hid his face : and to them answerd thus That passed by , and told him t' was vnmeet , Ther 's none ( quoth Cacu● ) by mine arse that knows me , How beastly els soeuer they suppose me .

174 Posteriora placant . DRuso his Darkis had not kist all day Which he intreated she would beare in minde , That longing at her lips prouok't him stay : But therewith tolde her t' was the more behinde , Till fit occasion might desire fulfill ) As much behinde ( quoth Darkis ) as you will .

175 Sat , satis esse diues . C●im , since his fathers death , is cleane vnapt , To follow now his former course began , That better Sutes to be in Veluet wrapt , And seemes to braue it out with any man ; Why may not Clim such garments boldly weare ? Being left more money then an Asse can beare .

176 Aliquid in nubibus . SCorus giues reckonings most irregulate , For Sallats , thus : for Fruit and sweet-meats , so much ▪ But that is commonly when Mistresse Kate Sups in the Flower-d●-Luc● with Syr Iohn owe-much : Who , if his credit be ●o longer tooke , Will morgage him the Mannor of Goe-looke .

177 Nil violentum perpet●um . ●Haedra transform'd from being a Chambermaid , Ruffled a while with Robes of richest price , ●ll of a Bastard she was lately layd , ●●d had foretold , her Lord did her intice , But then she carelesly repuls'd , and gon , Fell for the Seruing-groomes to seize vpon .

178 Formidat Stollidus vmbr●s . ●Oung Tregoose would by no meane● seale that Bill Which worse ( saith hee ) then Drabs or Dice enthrall men , ●edging this to be the onely ill , cause t' was written , Be it knowne to all men , For wer 't ( quoth Tregoose ) to my Vather knowne , Hee 'l thinke me sure some Bastard , not his owne .

179 Huic fronti fides . CReta scornes any but her owne complexion , Wishing her spotles liues integrity , Were but as free from faults and foule detection , As is her face from filthy Mercury : 'T shall nere be said but Creta for her part , Delt plainely vpwards without tricks or art .

180 Prosunt modo , verbera verbis . MVsco would alwayes vse to beate his maides , Vnlesse t' were little Susan that came last , Not caring which his seruice most vpbraids With deeds of darkenesse that are done and past , But here the question is how Susan delt , That she with Childe his weight yet neuer felt .

181 Si hodie tibi , cras mihi . A Scorn●full Dame inuited ouer night , To come and dine next morrow with a Knight , Refus'd his sudden bidding with disdaine , To whom this message was return'd againe , Since with so short time she could not dispence , To pray her come as that day twelue month hence .

182 Vt populus mundus . PLancus complaines the world's still worse & worse , Whether he meanes the people or his purse , Or both in one , or one in both combines But thus I thinke , he rather it defines , Like as with people there 's lesse conscience found So yeelds his purse , of late , more lighter sound .

183 Occulta tandem prodiunt in lucem . AS Curios Page lay sleeping in the Porch , That had beene watching th' other night before , A seruingman in th' intrim stole his Torch , Which after missing made him much deplore : To whom quoth some that saw him in such plight , Peace boy , thy Torch ( no doubt ) will come to light ;

184 Adte ( Scabiose Poeta ▪ ) SCalpo hath got an itch in Poetry , With which conceit doth oft his elbow scratch , And sooner hopes to come in print hereby , Then any young beginner of his match : As cast-off Chamber-maides conuert to Drabbes , So may thy itch in time breake out to scabes .

185 Ebrius plus vitium t●ahit . CEstus must sometimes sollace with his Punck , Which he accounts more needfull then his meat , ● and holds it Phisick to be often drunck , ● both which mesteries hee 's so compleat , As seldome with the one hee 'l dine or sup , But will be sure to cast the other vp .

186 Magnus persona , paruus Crumena . GRandus growes great , yet liues he poore with all How meane you then ? hee 's fat and well set forth ? ●rue : but t' is strange his Incomes are so small , ●man of that huge show and seeming worth , How could his belly halfe so big haue beene , But that it showes he had great commings in ?

187 Quos amat , ampleclitur . FRanciscus loues to feast men at his table , Sparing for nought that mony can procure , All which he thinkes too little and vnable , Their least of loues or friendships to allure : Yea Master Francis ; vse you so to doe ? Prethee feast me and haue my friendship to .

188 Bis monitus , armatus . MIstris Mallina vowes shee 'l neuer mary , Whiles some suruiue ; that her am●nds should m● Hath she not reason to be wise and wary , That would so great aduentures vndertake , Thrice to be got with childe by younger Broth● That swore to wed her , and are matcht with oth●

189 Clericus sine libro . PRomus the Puritaine though clownish , knowes , Atricke of tenne which he from Clarkes hath found , ●ho to the Tennant in possession goes , ●o proue him if for purchase hee 'l compound : And thus doth Promus like a Tumbler toyle , Whiles greater Dogges expect to share the spoyle .

190 Incerta , somnia . ●Orastes dreamt he was so fortifi'd , In spight of Fates , with fauour and protection , ●s through the Streets he did in triumph ride , ●nd proudly rule the rost by his direction : But waking since , with passions most extreame , Hee 's vext that all this while he did but dreame .

192 Ad Th●mam Coriat . Nuper admirabilem . WOnder of writers ( for so once thou wert , ) What pitty t' is thy fame no longer lasted , That such of note in trauell and desert , Like time-lesse Blossomes should so soone be blaste● For thus farre boldly may thy Booke compare , How ill so euer sure t' was passing rare .

193 A●eundem . WHat fame at first exceeding worths in 〈◊〉 Had thy late trauels and aduentures wroug● Wherein thou simply didst put downe that woma● Which to the Court a Deuonshire white pot brough● Hers for reward was quickly done and past , Thine on Record will euer extant last .

193 To Iohn of Powles-Church-yard . HAile iocund Iohn made all of Iouizance , And midst the Garden of the Muses dwellest , ●hou best deserues my verse should thee aduance , ●hat with those curious complements excellest : And Galla●●s gret'st with that abundant grace , Vssh'ring thy flat-cap fore thy fleering face .

194 To the guilty Coxcome . ●Ease gald-backt Gull to question what or whence , Or who I am that did these lines compose , 〈◊〉 thou not priuately with shame dispence , 〈◊〉 needes must haue it publisht to thy nose ? Will any foole suspect what no man thinks ? Knowst not a ● . the more it 's stird it stincks ?

195 Improbè quae parta , periunt . GIgas that iourneth daily to and fro , Mongst Courts and Clarkes his causes to retai● Will no aduantage , time , or toyle , foreslow , To bring him damn'd and detestable gaine : All which and twice as much will not defray , The charge that Gigas ( with a pox ) must pay .

196 Duplex pudor , Impudentia . SCruto the Scriuener that had lost his eares , Whereon his locks he much more pendant wea● Hath late the like or worser Cousnage wrought , And to the Pillory againe is brought , Where now the Hangman ( nought suspecting ) 〈◊〉 Why sl●●e quoth Scruto , must I still finde eares ?

197 Quaere aliud diuerscri●m . POntus in 's iourney trauelling towards Lyn , Grew wondrous weary and of force would Inn● , Where he an Ostler cals , who cryes , Anon , But staid so long that Pontus would be gon : With that he heard within one laugh , and say , Prethee make haste the Cockney will not stay , But Pontus cryes againe , and would not passe , Vntill mine Hoast himselfe put vp the Asse .

198 Si quae latent , peiora puta . MVrus when first he maried with a Whore , Was truely tearm'd a cloake to sheild the raine , But he his cloake since that time neuer wore , Because the world should doe him right againe ▪

199 Mens hominis nouitatis a●ida . YOung Prodigus new fashions still inuents , And ought that ancient is will nought esteeme , What others fancies likes least him contents , But all things needs will out of order deeme ; Which is the vrgent cause I vnderstand Why Prodigus did sell his fathers Land .

200 Ne Sutor vltra , &c. A Cobler and a Curate once disputed , Before a Iudge about the Kings Iniunctions ; Wherein the Curate being still confuted , One said , t' were good if they two changed function● Nay ( quoth the Iudge ) I thereto should be loth ▪ But and you will wee le make them Coblers bot●

201 Magnis , minora a grata . ●Ewde Lalus , came to me sixe Crownes to borow , And swore ( God damne him ) he would pay 't to morow , ●ew his word as currant as his band , 〈◊〉 therefore gaue him but three Crownes in hand , ●his I to part with , he to take was willing , ●nd thus he gaind , and I sau'd fifteene shilling .

202 Domina , non Sponsa perita . Ou wisht me to a wife fayre , rich , and young , That had the Lattin , French and Spanish toung ; 〈◊〉 thankes I told you , I desir'd none such , 〈◊〉 , one language might be tongue too much , 〈◊〉 loue not I the learn'd ? yes as my life , learned Mistresse , not a learned wife .

203 Amicus incertus in re certa . COquinus vow'd all kindnesse that he could , I should command and finde him as I would , No sooner thankt I him , but presently He crau'd my help , which I could not deny : But then he swore since I his friend so stood , Sfoot he would dye the death to doe me good , It chanst I claim'd his vow in time of neede , But to performe it he proou'd dead in deede ,

204 Artes laudantur et algent . PLancus the Poet liues but poore and bare , Yet nere was knowne a man , of miccle spendin● For Puddings still were wont to be his fare , Tut , Bad beginnings may haue better endings .

205 Sudor serui pascit dominum . LArgus hath Offices so great so many , As he can scarce directly serue in any , No matter Largus , thou look'st to the gaines , And tak'st the profit who ere takes the paines : Thy Clarkes sufficient are to doe thee grace , That on thy Gate this Emblem well may place . A Penman prostrate at an Idiots foote , ( This being the motto ) Sir , my man shall doo 't .

206 Vulgaris vt nomen . PAruus whose purse at recknings nere appear'd , Caries a conscience blacker then his beard , Which to the world doth boldly testifie , 〈◊〉 not so damn'd as yet he meanes to dye .

207 Signum ventris , Apetitus . WHen trustie Tom his Maister durst reproue , That once a wench besides his wife did loue ▪ He angry seeming at his bold report , Requires him shortly after in this sort : Calling to minde how much beyond all meate , His man would most these butterd Parsnips ●ate , He caus'd his Cooke according to his wish , To dresse that onely and no other dish ; Which Tom ( suspecting nought ) deuoures apace , And neuer ceased to debate the case . But fell vpon them like a hungry Boare , That had not fed himselfe a day before , But n●xt meale , findes the like and falls aboard , Eating what then his stomack could afford , 〈◊〉 now presuming of some other change , 〈◊〉 finding Parsnips still ; thought then t' was strange , 〈◊〉 once againe ( quoth Tom ) I meane to eate them , 〈◊〉 , to his Maister ( sweares ) he will repeate them : 〈◊〉 still that dish was drest accordingly , ●●ich when as Tom the fourth time did espie , 〈◊〉 to his Maister goes to know the meaning , 〈◊〉 onely this , and other meates restrayning , 〈◊〉 ( qouth he ) you askt me this last day , 〈◊〉 I for change of pasture went astray : 〈◊〉 Butterd Parsnips you so much desire , 〈◊〉 strange you then should other meates require , Sir , ( quoth Tom ) I now picke out the sence , 〈◊〉 Parsnips teach me that experience .

208 Sic Daemon Daemona fallit . ZAnthus arrested , did the Sarieant pray He might not straight vnto the Counter goe ; But thence perswades him in some Tauerne stay To send for Baile , and fees on him bestow : Whereto the Sarieant freely condiscends , And being come they call for Wine at large , Which Zanthus seeing , doth inuite his friends That past along , to make the greater charge : For nought he meant ( nor could he ought defray , Though seeming takes it to himselfe alone , ) But when the reckning came at length to pay , Draw that haue coyne ( quoth Zanthus ) I haue no● ●he Vintner vexed , swore he should not part from thence that night , till he were satisfide ▪ ●ary ( quoth Zanthus ) euen with all my hart , could desire I might with you abide ▪ ●he Sariant daunted in this case to see him , ●as volens nolens forc'd discharge the shot , ●or being now growne late he thence must free him , With coyne or credit where he would or not , But well yong Z●nthus knew they would not faile him , ●hat did next morning from the Counter bayle him ▪

211 Rarus , qui publicus olim . OF all the Toms that euer yet were nam'd , Was neuer Tom like as Tom Coriat fram'd : Tom Foole may goe to schoole , but nere be taught Speake Greeke , with which our Tom is richly fraugh● Tom Asse may passe , but yet for all his ●ares No such rich Iewels as our Tom he weares : Tom tell-troth is but froth , and truth to tell , Of all Toms our Tom beares away the Bell.

212 Similis cum simili . ●OM went to th' Market where Tom met with Tom , Tom asked Tom , What Tom● how far'st thou Tom ? ●ho Tom , I Tom ? yes Tom ( quoth Tom , ) you Tom : ●ell God a-mercy Tom : how doe you Tom ? ●ayth nere so well ( quoth Tom ) since Tom was Tom , And thus was the greeting past twixt Tom and Tom.

213 Foras parcus , domi prodigus . WHiles Caius doth remaine beyond the seas , And followes there some great important sute 〈◊〉 lands bears neither Oats , nor Beans , nor Peaz , 〈◊〉 yet his wife beares full and faire growne fruit ; His Lands wants occupiers to manure them , But she hath store enough , and can procure them .

214 Postrema grauiora . INcul●us comes to Towne to learne new fashions , And will no more these rusticke imitations , But not resolu'd as yet what course to affect , Intreats some stranger-friend would him direct ▪ Who first my Gull to Birchin-lane doth cary , To sute himselfe : from thence to th' Ordinary , Where , after many a pledge with full carouse , He needes must visit next a Baudy●house , B●t there Incultus gan anew to quaffe , And euer since was forc'd to leaue his staffe .

215 Timidus gloriosus . ●Orbeare t' attempt my patience if you loue me , For I shall draw vpon my deerest friends : he least occasion on the earth will moue me , ●nd then t' will be too late to seeke amends . ●ill you be quiet whiles I warning giue ? ●hat ? yet againe prouoke me to this geare ? ●rike but once more , as surely as I liue ●e be thy Priest though 't cost me nere so deare ; 〈◊〉 , now remember you haue drawne my blood , ●elpe me , some honest man , or I shall sowne , ●eigh ho , hee 'l neuer doe me so much good : ●eare witnesse Gentlemen , he struck me downe , ●hich to reuenge ( oh that my blood would cease ) ●rue as I liue I 'le binde him to the peace .

216 Fronti●ulla fides . VO●us hath vow'd to doe me many fauors , And by no meanes I must him gratifie , But all his oathes and protestations ●auors Of nought but periur'd vile hypocr●sie : Well , for this trick I le nere haue more to doe With one so wicked and a Wit-all too .

217 Dura●d● sordida surgunt . WHen Nut browne Nancy newly made a Brid● ( That vs'd before to feede her fathe●s swine Should more ( sir reuerence lucke ) be Ladifi● And all remembrance of what 's past resigne : Thereto preferd , alas poore pigges quoth she , Now I am gone , who must your mistresse be ?

218 Cedant arma Nummis . ●H spare you Syr , you offer great disgrace To wish me sell my Rapier ? fie , t' were base : ●arshall Gentleman of my profession 〈◊〉 should be prostitute to such condition ? ●ooner part from forth the house I dwell 〈◊〉 leaue my pleasure I esteeme so well : Rapier is my harts sole excellence , liues chiefe propagation and defence : ● blade Syr , I le besworne is such a one ●arther came from hence then Prester-Iohn , ●et if it needs will please you looke vpon it , would but borrow some small siluer on it .

219 Clericus sine libro . WHen Crassus in his Office was instal'd For sums of money , which he yet doth ow● A Clyent by the name of Clarke him cal'd , As he next day to Westminster did goe , Which Crassus hearing , whispers thus in 's eare , Sirra , you now mistake , and much doe erre , That henceforth must the name of Clark forbeare , And know , I am become an Officer , Alas , quoth he , I did not so much marke , Good Master Officer that are no Clarke .

220 Durum telum necessitas . COquus with hunger , pennylesse constrain'd , To call for meate and Wine three shillings cost , ●ad suddenly this proiect entertaind , 〈◊〉 stead of What 's to pay , to call mine hoste ; ●ho , being come , intreateth him discusse , ●hat price the law allots for shedding blood , ●hereto mine Hoste directly answeres thus , ●was alwayes forty pence , hee vnderstood , So then ( quoth Coquus ) to requi●e your paines , Pray breake my head , and giue me what r●maines .

221 Amalo ad p●ius . IN elders time , as ancient custome was , Men swore in weighty causes by the Masse ; But when the Masse went downe ( as others note ) Their oathes were by the crosse of this same groat : But then the crosse was likewise held in scorne , And by their faith their common oath was sworne , Last hauing sworne away all Faith and troth God damne me , now is vs'd their common oath . And thus by custome kept from times gradation , They loose Masse , Crosse , and Faith , to finde damnation

222 Habet & Rosa spinam . A Cater that of late some Wild-foule bought , Incontinent vnto his Master brought ; ●ho smelling at them neere about the rump ●ayd out , thou knaue these sauor of the pump ; ●is man that was a rude and saucy loute ●ounds , answeres , Syr , swell you them thereabout ? Smell your fayre Lady there , and by your fauour , You 'l finde a foule if not a fulsome sauour .

223 Omnia probato , quod bonum est teneto . MY Epigrams dispatcht , abroad I send them , To good and bad , that but a looke will lend th● If any proue so kinde that can befriend them , When they shal heare or know t' was I that pend th● Euen so ▪ if otherwise , I le not defend them , Much lesse ( which were a shame ) I should comm●th Then Reader ( if thou wilt ) I prethee rend them ▪

224 V● Case●s Li●er . ●Eywood affirmes , and prooues in some degrees , That one may well compare a Booke to Cheese : euery Market some buy Cheese to feede on , euery Mart some men buy Bookes to read on , sorts eat Cheese , but wherefore ? there 's the question , 〈◊〉 poore for food , the rich for good disgestion : sorts read Bookes , but why ? will you discerne , 〈◊〉 Foole to laugh , the wiser sort to learne : 〈◊〉 sight and sent of Cheese to some is hatefull , 〈◊〉 sight and sence of Bookes to some vngratefull : No Cheese there is that euer pleas'd all feeders , No Booke there is that euer pleas'd all Readers .

Liber Secundus .

1 Dulce , quod v●ile . AN honest Vicar riding by the way ( Not knowing better how to spend the day ; ) 〈◊〉 sing vnto himselfe Geneua Psalmes . blindman hearing him straight beg'd his almes , 〈◊〉 whom ( quoth he ) with coyne I cannot part , 〈◊〉 God thee blesse ( good man ) with all my hart : Oh , said the blind man , greater is our losse , When such as you doe blesse without a crosse .

3 Sequitur inuidia famam . TWo Madams once were striuing for the wall , Both standing on their tearmes of worthinesse : The one but young ( howbeit rich withall ) The other ancient , though of substance lesse , Said , soft and faire , till time hath tane fruition , Your Ladyship is of the last edition .

4 Quo se vertat , nescit . CVcullus hath disguis'd his former feature , And like Pythagoras transformed shape , Is now ( me thinks ) become another creature , Halfe French , halfe English ( pox on such an Ape ) That imitates all fashions farre and neere , Though gainst the haire he buyes them ner'e 〈◊〉

5 Credit colori , BAitus beleeued for a simple truth , That yonder gilt-spurre spruce ●nd veluet youth , Was some great personage , or worthy wight , ●ntill one told him he was but a knight . A knaight ( quoth Battus ) vaith I chud a zworne , A hod not beene lasse then zome Gen-man borne .

6 locabunda , ludibund● . MIstresse Finetta for her ready wit , Is much admired , and belou'd of many : But this one fault of hers confoundeth it , She iesting will deride and scoffe at any : Which by an ill accustom'd vse comes on her , And yet ther 's one that playes as much vpon her .

7 Sequitur fortuna nefanda . CRaicus through craft redeem'd his credit crackt , That forc'd to leaue his bankerout occupation , Clos'd with a widdow e're he was contract , Whose riches once more rais'd his reputation . That now mid'st fortunes floating to the brim , Craicus keepes strumpets , whiles his wife keeps hi●

8 Non omnibus dormit . SAy that Carina keepes a vitling house , I hope 't is for no vulgar men of meane resort , That basely will a cast of Cannes carouse , Or at some game at Cards but idly sport : T is knowne her weekely risings and downe-falling Equals her state with some of higher callings .

9 Multum principia suaden● WHen Kate with Country Clyents courted is , She seems more coy then any new beginner , ●iuing , as if she knew not how to kisse , euer saw the man that yet could win her : But all to draw the Gulles more eager on , ●hat shares her gaines with Tinkers being are gone .

10 Mag●is non est mo●andum . E● how Silenus walkes accomplished , With due performance of his fathers Page , ●kes backe of purpose to be honoured , ● on each sleight occasion gins to rage , ●ou villaine , Dog , where hath your stay beene such ? Quoth he , the Broker would not lend so much .

11 Fingit Adultera castam . NIsa , who from her window glaunc'd her eyes , Saw Mopsus come as fast as foote could trot : For ioy whereof , vpon her bed she lyes , As who should thinke she slept and saw him not . T' was very strange , vnlesse she ment herein , Her eyes should not be open to her sinne .

12 Filius terrae . LVcas that hath beene long conceal'd of late , Vpon the pennance of some purchast blame , Liues now at Court in most heroicke state , ( But you must note t' is by another name : ) Call him not Lucas now , least you disclose him , Nor aske whose sonne he is , for then you pose hi●

13 Turpe est cum foenore lucrum . Anus hath liu'd this last vacation , Vpon his wiues bare charge without all reason , ●o since she knew at first her occupation , ●e saw worse takings in a Lenton season . A man would thinke thou shouldst her more beshrow , That did so many burdens vndergoe .

14 Criminibus celare studet sua crimina Maechus . WHen Cacus was accufed of a Rape , For stealing secretly to his maids bed , hardly could the doome of law escape , ● he not thus the matter coloured : That tooke his oath ( nor did he sweare amisse ) He went not into her bed , ( for t' was his . )

15 Non videmus manticae quod in tergo est . NAso could wish the people would forbeare , To scandalize his more then honest N●n : Who for this twelue month will expresly sweare He hath not found her false with any man : If otherwise she doe , he knowes not what , Why should poore Nafo be so pointed at ?

16 Luditur ●rte . MArke but the semblance of Fucatas face , How to the life her picture doth excell , For louely feature , sweet and comely grace , ( Surely the Painter hath done wondrous well : ) But here 's the doubt ( both faces made by art ) Which you would choose to be the better part .

17 Sp●liatis arma supersunt . GRand Captaine Quid , of coyne is quite bereft , Whose Page was wont his purse & coyne to carry , ●ow neither Page , Purse , Coyne , nor ought is left , ●ue what he 's forc'd to pawne at th' ordinary . ● Thus squint-ey'd Fortune partiall in her gifts , ● Puts men of note oft-times to needy shifts .

18 Duo i●nguntur in v●u● . WHy was yong Lancel●t , Lynsey-wolsey nam'd , Whose Ancestors were of one Linage fram'd ? ●t that t' was knowne Wa●ling and fridaystreet , one coniunction coplatiue did meete .

19 Anguis in he●ba . HIlus hath hid himselfe this yeere and more , Not in respect of feare to shew his face , But for he rashly in his humour swore , The Sessions-house should no more sift his case : But if you 'l needes the reason vnderstand , He hath beene burn'd already in the hand .

20 Labor impr●bus omnia vincit . CLogo will needs be knighted for his lands , Got by the labours of his fathers hands , And hopes to proue a Gentleman of noate , For he hath bought himselfe a painted coate .

21 Magni constabi● parua vo●upt●● , HAnd off sir Saucebox , she 's no meate for groom● ▪ Or common wights of b●se borne parentage : as , your leane expence fits Ale-house roomes , ●at with Maid-malkin holdeth equipage : Because sir Tristram late intrcated me , You therefore thinke to doe as much as he .

22 Quantum mutatus ab illo . WOuld any deeme M●●●sses now the man , That whilome was not worth a woodden can● ●●ubtlesse the Dunce in some thing doth surpasse , his red Nose is still the same it was .

23 Quifuit a●te P●des . THe case is alter'd with Mercutio , Since his preferment to that Noble man , What er'st he hath beene , boots not now to know , Those times are chang'd you see , what 's then wasth I dare presume Mercutio doth forget , That euer he a Bill in Paules did set .

24 Omnibus hoc vitium . PRu that had patience to haue borne with any , And lou'd plaine-dealing ( witnesse all that kn●● Is now vndone by bearing one too many , So that you see plaine dealing ouerthrowes her ▪

25 V●rijs mutata figuris . Ettis length hath left her old profession , ●And closely coucheth in a Sempsters shop , ●ich may the burden of her late transgression , ●h lesse suspect support and vnderprop : To such as knowes her not , she and her wares , For perfect purenesse with th' Exchange compares ▪

26 Plus quàm prudentia nummus . Mongst our later knights , sir Thomas knew it , ● By common practise more then cunning wooing , ●t being rich inough he could not rue it , ●icke should take him with his Doll a dooing .

27 Hoc omnibus datur . CVt●bert our Cobler can no more forbeare , To take Tobacco , then to liue vnknowne : He drinks all whiffes at least , and learnes to sweare By Heauens ; his oathes and humours are his owne : But adding hereunto a pot or more , He stands to nothing which he spake before .

28 Premit altum corde . Wleanus guil●y , doth himselfe perswade , Some of these Epigrams by him were made : But dares not tell you wherein for his life , Least men should play on him , as on his wife .

29 Velle placere s●t est . MIstresse Parnella holds it requisite To keepe more maides at home then need requires well to please her husbands appetite , for abroad she like exchange desires : For thus they ab●ent best content each other , That else should be but baudes to one another .

30 Pocule i●●●gnutur ●mici . A Health , saith Lucas , to his loues bright eye , Which not to pledge were much indignitie : ●u cannot doe him greater curresie , ●en to be drunke and damn'd for company .

31 Redit orbis in or●em . YOng Codrus , Land lord to his fathers rents , Which happy time ( long look't for ) did expire Addresseth him with those habiliments , As least bescemes the sonne of such a Sire : And thus he gallants it some yeere and more , Vntill his Tenants thrust him out of dore .

32 Oculus Adulter . OF all the pleasures that our London yeelds , Caluus commends the walks about Moore - 〈◊〉 There 's many reasons that prouokes him to it , He must be looking though he cannot doe it ,

33 Mutauit fortuna genus . RVfus was reckoned once a man of might , That would seuerely domineere and swagger , ●ring the stoutest of the Guard in fight ● single Rapier , or at Sword and Dagger : Who would not muse that such a great commander Should be translated to a lousie Pander ?

34 Vi●escit vulnere Venus . ● Vsan's well sped , and weares a veluet hood , As who shall know her breeding hath been good : 〈◊〉 rcason she should rise once in her life , ●●at fell so oft before she was a wife .

37 Voluptat is prae●ium dolor . WHat cause had Liuia to leaue the Citie , Where she so flourish't vntill now of late ? Oh , ther 's a fault escap't ( the mores the pi●● Which the Church-wardens will not tollerate : And yet the yeere before they could dispence , Taking no knowledge of the like offence .

38 Et manibus p●dibusque leuis . LAys of lighter mettall is compos'd , Then hath her lightnesse till of late disclos'd , For lighting where she light acceptance feeles , Her fingers there proue lighter then her heeles .

39 Faeminae ludsficantur viros . LVce had a secret longing to goe see Her childe at nurse , for that she dream'd t' was sicke ; ●nd would by no meanes pacified be , ●ill she had seene her pretty little Dicke : Full little knowes her husband ( silly groome ) Who by this match e're midnight takes his roome .

40 Fallentem fema ●efellet . ●Riscus gaue out he went to Pr●ster-Iohn , Presuming to haue purchast three for one ; ●t that t' was knowne , which did him sore beguile , ●iscus had tane the dyct all the while .

41 Dominatus seruilis . FEll foughten Furio hath now met his match , And is seuerely sent vnto the gaile , For blurting at Mas Constable and his watch : Who bids away with him , admits no baile : As who shall know hee 's now the Kings peace-make Although the last yeere was but Kennell-raker .

42 Par pari . BAl●us ( too blame ) runs in his Laundresse score ▪ And will not pay her scarcely once a yeere , But then his shame is twice so much the more , For she hath paid him truely to a haire .

43 Sic vos non vobis ●ellera fer●is ones . HEard you in what surpassing rich aray , Young Roger ruff●ed on S. Georges day ? T' was pitty more then spite it should be knowne , That none of all those garments were his owne , So that in stead of what report did scatter , Hee simply was non-suted on the matter .

44 Praestat videri que esse . CLitus with Clients is well customed , That hath the Lawes but little studied , 〈◊〉 matter Clitus so they bring their ●ees ▪ ●ow ill the case and thy aduise agrees .

45 — ortus nouu● vrbe Bri●tannus . WHo braues it now as doth yong Histrio ▪ Walking in Pauls like to some Potentate , Richly replenisht from the top to●'h toe ; As if he were deriu'd from high estate : Alas , ther 's not a man but may descry , His begging trade , and bastard faculty .

46 Iuueni , quid curua senectus ? SIlla hath got a wife that 's wondrous old , But 't is well knowne he woo'd her for her gold : I hope her maides are yong , and serue for hire , And that 's as much as Silla doth desire .

47 Castus erat vul●● , &c. KNow you not Criticus our Cities Mule , That haunts the harbours of iniquitie ? ●er like a Beadle of disordred rule , ●asheth at lust , to cloake his villany : Cruicke , 't is not your lookes ( I dare assure you ) Can feare the surgeon that of late did cure you ▪

48 Plus Maechus omnis amat , ●Eace , weepe no more ( sweet S● ) and all is well , say I had found thee false , thinkes thou I le tell ? ●o by this iron and steele , which plainly showes it , 〈◊〉 honest Wit all is no Gull that knowes it .

49 Fugit huc i●risque pe●itu● . TObi● hath euery tearme great suites in hand , But sits at home like lohn indifferent ; His wife hath law enough to vnderstand , What by Ioint-tenant and In-●●●le is ment , Haue not our Clarkes with fees beene faine to woe her And for bare knowledge put their cases to her ?

50 Omnes querunt sua . THis obseruation seemes ( quoth F●sco ) strange , Why merchants walk in pa●les , & knights th' exchange Belike the one seekes those their debts should pay , While● th' other goes to craue a longer day .

51 Quicquid oritur inoritur . ZOnus our neighbour , and his spouse are parted , True demonstration of her whoorish hate , 〈◊〉 could she not haue beene so stony-hearted , ●o leaue her husband for a stragling mate : But then the statute ( Zonus ) sets thee free , Thou didst not banish her , she fled from thee .

52 Qnàm partus ventrem sequitur . RAlph hath an office in reuersion bought , But rues the time that yet no wi● hath wrought ▪ ●ntent thee ( Ralph ) for wealth to let it passe , ●ou art no worse foole then thy father was .

53 Non omnibus dormit . WHat reason is it Omphida should yeeld To any man that 's but a stranger to her ? Thinkes he at first assault to win the field ? Tut let him doe his worst , that worst can doe her : Had there but colour beene for such intent , She might allow your weakest argument ,

54 Mors vt vita ita . LEno lyes sicke , and to the Doctor sends , Who bids him looke for what he least intends And being oft to make his will requested . Away ( saith Leno ) I will dye detested .

55 Tunc tua res agitur , &c. A Iealous Marchant that a Saylor met , Ask't him the reason why he meant to marry , Knowing what ill their absence might beget , That still at sea constrained are to tarry ? Sir ( quoth the Saylor ) thinke you that so strange ? T' is done the time whiles you but walke th' exchange .

56 Ingeniosa Venus . Foed●s hath got his neighbours wife with childe , And yet hath not her husbands bed defil'd , For why the plot within Moore-fields was wrought , From whence a place was for that purpose sought .

57 Sine crimine nemo . GVido hath goodly lodgings , which he lets To Knights and Ladies , of the better sort , Nor careth he how little gaines he gets , So they be honest , and of good report : But maugre all the meanes that may be try'de , Guido's braue house will still be baudifide .

58 Nec vultus indicat virum . DIcke in a raging deepe discurtesie , Cal'd an Atturney meere necessity . The more knaue he , admit he had no law , Must he be flouted at by euery daw ?

59 Iugum suaue patientia . MInos a man of much impatience , Proues himselfe Cuckold in his owne defence ; ●nd further doubts of greater danger fearing , ●tends to prosecute the good abearing : His reason is , because he would seeme loth To be cornuted , and bumbasted both .

60 Sat saltem sic habeatur . RAlph saies , this rabblement of new made Knights . Makes Coaches deere , & Chandlers sell their lights , ●t scarce a Seruingman the more is fed , 〈◊〉 Foote-boyes onely bring their Sirs to bed .

61 Dant otia ludum . YOung Maister Newcome , late of th'Ins of Court , Hath newly laid aside his Littleton , And for his pleasure deignes no other sport , Then these vnsauoured rimes to seaze vpon : Which hauing read , he comments on the weather , How iumpe his law and learning met together .

62 Citò parata Venus . LEt Mistresse Su be stirring nere so soone , She 'l not be ready vntill after-noone , Nor scarcely then : for why this sommer season , The least Thing makes her sweat beyond all reason .

63 Quem suspicaueris , ipse . ●Vco is fled , more for his credit sake , Then to be burdened with so base a deed : ●ould he ( thinke you ) such trifles vndertake , ●auing that kindred , and so little need ? Damn'd might he be that euer meant to doe it , Had not his whoore , or somthing vrg'd him to it .

64 Mala crescunt deteriora . SOto is lately gone to Sturbridge faire , Whose little takings makes him halfe dispaire : ●were good some friend of his would tell the mome , ●is wife hath had takings too much at home .

65 Non caret effectu quod voluêre duo . COnstant Renaldo , who can but commend thee , That still one Mistresse in reuersion seruest ? She could doe little , if not least befriend thee , With gleaning licence for so long a haruest : Gleaning said I ? nay more , to mowe her Corne , And catch the Hare whiles others blow the Horn

66 Enecat amplexu nimio , sic Simia foetum . CAll Danus knaue , he straightway draws his swor● And makes you proue as much , or eate your wor● But if you call him honest Rogue ▪ or Iew , He hugges you then , for giuing him his dew .

67 Si nihil attuleris , ibis , &c. PLanus , an honest Swaine , but monylesse , Besought a Lawyer to be good vnto him , Who eyther ( gratis ) must his cause redresse , Or promise what he neuer meant to doe him , Being asked why he carelesse lingred it , Made this reply : Ex ni●ilo nihil fit .

68 Semel & semper . CElso but newly wedded , doth repent , And meanes to be diuorc'd incontinent : ●ut , hang it ( Celso ) since t is done and past , As good proue Cuckold at the first , as last .

69 Form●sa facies . FIne Mistresse Foetida perfumes her selfe , With sweetest odours that she can deuise , Which she preferres before all worldly pelfe , That nought auaileth when her beautie dies : But this dispaire is very death in thinking , That one so faire should haue a breath so st●●king .

70 Sapiat qui vendit oportet . ●Anus doth iesting vse Equiuocation ▪ Which he alludes as doubtfull words of Art , To hide the colour of his occupation , But to the Diuell he beares an honest hart .

71 Consilium post factum . ASke not Vincentio now when things are past , Why he so often sported with his Puncke , 〈◊〉 wherefore so much hath beene spent in wast ; ● As good you told a tale to one that 's druncke : ) Let it suffice , he hath consum'd it all , And as you see , walkes like the prodigall .

72 Ne sutor vltra crepidam . PHilippus flouteth at these ragged rimes , That much distasting , taxe not these his times : ●ndeed I iudge him much more better seene , ●n other trades that he hath trained beene .

73 Mole ruit sua . QVesto that quaint and briske Italian , When first his trade for Merchandize began , Would so much vndertake more then his owne , ( I thinke of purpose to be ouerthrowne ) For when t' was thought his fulnesse did abound , Euen then he brake for seuenty thousand pound .

74 Parturiunt montes murem . DEgo will draw , and stoutly stand vnto it , Vpon the vtmost of his words brauado , But being vrg'd on equall tearmes to doe it , He basely pockets vp the bastinado .

75 Degeneres animos timor arguit . MOnsieur Montanus is no little man , Of vnapproued valour to his foe , Perswade , or wooe him with what words you can , Hee 'l be reuenged , all the world shall know : But when hee found one with his wife in bed , For feare of knocks he durst not shew his head .

76 Vilescit diues auarus . RVfus is wondrous rich , but what of that ? He liues obscurely , like a water-Rat , ●nd his apparell , which hee seldome buyes , ●re such as Hounds-ditch , and Long-lane supplies .

77 Mal● parta , male paeriunt . OLd Collins sonne is newly come to age , And may dispend fiue hundred markes a yeere But wanteth wit to holde his heritage , Which hath beene euermore his Vncles feare : Because his father got it by extortion , And therefore ill to be a Woodcockes portion .

78 Habet & musca splenem . MOpsus maintaines that bankruptship lesse mou●● Then such a slaue as for his wiues sake loues 〈◊〉 Yet well the Wit-all woteth though it grieue him , His tonuge might starue except her Tayle releeue 〈◊〉

79 Olim haec meminisse dolebit . GRuntus lies groaning of a grieuous gout , And would giue thousands to be soundly cured , But all the cunning that his coyne findes out , Cannot expell those paines so long endured : Oh Grunto , thou hast liu'd so vnrepenting , As scarce two hels sufficeth thy tormenting .

80 Matrimonio Patrimonium . MVsco , that alwayes kept with policy , What he had scraped● since his infancy , Scarce one yeere wedded ( for he needs would mary ) Hath taken Ludgate for his sanctuary .

81 Duplex Iniquitas . NOw yea and nay , quoth Mistresse Temperance , You are to blame to be so vainely giuen : Cannot your eyes vpon a woman glance But they must couet ? sooth you should be shriuen : Fye , that you 'l sweare so rashly by your troth , Truely I would not doo 't but for your oath .

82 Non omnia possumus omnes . WHo sayes Al●ides hath no wit , they lye , His place and office proues the contrary , Though t' was not meant he should more vnderstand Then might concerne him to subscribe his hand .

83 Sumus omnes deteriores . COrnutus boasteth of the debts he owes , As who should thinke his credit then was such : ●ut all his substance valued now , God knowes , ●mounts not to the twentieth part so much : T is to be thought , because his wife growes old , And hath lesse doing now a thousand fold .

84 Cani facile inueniendum Baculum . MAdam Ventoza can no longer frolick , She is so troubled with a sore winde-cholicke , ●hich to the standers by may lesse appeare , ●ause her fyesting-Cur is still so neare .

85 Aliud simulat , aliud agit . YOung Mistresse Ioyce her husband doth solicit● To hire a Garden-house neere to the fields , Which with her Gossips she might weekely visite , For something must she haue that comfort yeel● Pray God this Bower of priuate recreation , Proue not a place of common occupation .

86 Quae placuit Domino nupta est ancilla sodali . MAdam Rugosa knowes not where to finde One Chamber-maid of ten to please her 〈◊〉 But yet my Lord so likes their comely car'age , As hee preferre● them to his men in mar'age .

87 Crede quod habes & habes . LOrellos wife is lately brought to bed , As lucke would haue it , of a goodly boy , The hopefull issue of her maidenhead , And onely Iewell of the fathers ioy : Then who would doubt the time , or once but note it , When it 's as like him , as himselfe had got it .

88 Mendici mendaces . PAndorus spends the day by telling newes , Of such his trauels as will make you muse : Nay sir , beleeue it , hee 'l discourse at large , How should he else be fed at others charge ?

89 Aeger , cui chara libertas . BRisco that gallant yongster keepes his bed , As faining to be sicke , but wot you why ? Not of an ague ▪ not an aking head , No burning feuer , nor French malady : Tush , none of these can halfe so much molest 〈◊〉 As yonder flat-cap foole that would arest him .

90 Qui modò rusticus , olim . PO-lo peckes vp a pretty proling trade , That hath him prouder then his maister made But yet when all is done , the world mistakes him , For 't is not 's money , but the Taylor makes him .

91 Ab Equis ad Asinos . BRutus that braue and compleat Caualier , ( Who but of late in ●leetstreet flourished , 〈◊〉 thought no pleasure or expence too deere ) 〈◊〉 now how soone the case is altered : As that constrained to forsake the street , He hath betane himselfe vnto the Fleet.

92 Furor armae minis●rat . ●Agus hath studyed long to breake a iest , Vpon these rimes he doth so much detest : 〈◊〉 can you blame him ? well he may be chiding , 〈◊〉 hath so often spurgal'd beene with riding .

93 Dubitat mens conscia cornu . LEt Iealous Ralph but reade of Capricorne , Or simply of the signe that 's in the Ram , He straight way thinkes you tax him with the horne , And thereon haue compos'd some Epigram : If Ralph on euery rime the worst will conster It must conclude , in time hee 'l proue a monster .

94 Volucrem sie decipit a●ceps . Hydrus the Horse courser ( that cunning mate ) Doth with the buyers thus equiuocate , Claps on his hand , and prayes he may not thriue . If that his Gelding be not vnder fiue ☞

95 Quod mora tardat , abest . ●Vscus hath long since learned his Accidence , And now turn'd Sexton ( Clarke I meane at least ) ●ight yet for age more further farre commence , 〈◊〉 lost his time wherein he was a Beast . ●or why his vather kept him still a Calfe , And would not weane him at twelue yeares and halfe .

96 Perdat qui caueat Emptor . NOr lesse meant Promus when that vow he made , Then to giue or'e his cousening Tapsters trade , ●ho ( checkt for short and frothy measure ) swore , 〈◊〉 neuer would from thence forth fill pot more .

97 Humilis iam surgit in altum . THe world is well amended with sir Hugh , Since from the time he was a shepheards swaine , And little dreamed then ( I may tell you ) He should haue beene one of the knightly traine , But ( for his substance answeres not his will ) As good haue dream'd , or beene a Shepheard still

98 Post dulcia finis amarus . WHat griefe it was Grace had no better fortune , But that Bride-well must her disgrace importun● And which is worse , if worse it might perplexe her , The Beadle comes behinde her backe to vexe her ?

99 Frustra sapit qui fi●i non sapit . ●Anthus , that wise and cunning Sophister , Lyes now in Limbo for a small offence , ●ho when he came before the Officer , 〈◊〉 not one word of wit to free him thence , Why thus it fares , when he should best dispute , The Diuell , or some ill Planet strikes him mute .

100 Vsus promptos f●ci● , ●His makes Menalcas muse aboue the rest , To see how quaint my Lady is adrest , 〈◊〉 from the girdle vpwards would he sweare , 〈◊〉 doth the shape of very man appeare .

101 Humilis prostrata quadrante . FIne Mistresse D●lia defies the man , That proffers lesse to her then golden fees , What thinke you her some common Courtizan , That will her credit with each Lobcocke leese ? In faith sir no , but ere you shall goe hence , She will for once accept of eighteene pence .

102 Qu●m bene ●otus amor . SHould Spruso leaue the wearing of his muffe , His golden night-cap , and his double ruffe : He would be still the same he was before , For halfe the Parish knowes he loues a ( )

103 O infoelices quos fata seq●untur iniqua . POntus is posting hitherwards a pace , To dine with diuers that in Fleetstreet meets him , But see the lucklesse chance of such a case , As soone as he alights , the Sergeant greets him : So that the burthen he should haue defraid , Is wholy now vpon mine Hostesse laid .

104 Cucullus non facit Monachum . SIluanus is become so pure and holy , As he accounts all mirth but idle folly : Aske him wherefore , he giues you ghostly reason , But then his whoore comes neuer out of season .

105 Cres●it amor pretio . HOw like you Dorcas in her deepest Ruffe , Seemes she not now as proper as the best ? ●ou thinke you may command her , marry muffe ? ●he scornes the motion , fough , that were a iest : Because she sold her wares so cheape of late , You thinke they should be still the selfe-same rate .

106 Senibus voluisse satis . ●ESop must yeeld when Rodop will ride , And take no knowledge where , or who 's her guide ●et could the wizard wish her more in sight , ●●nce she at Braynford lodg'd this other night .

107 Nocte latent mendae . WHat meaneth Rosamond to walke so late , When no man can discerne her face or feature ▪ ( But by her habite may preiudicate , She is some faire , or rather famous creature : ) Oh good Sir vnderstand , t' is in the darke When many a good man mistakes the marke .

108 Natura paucis contenta . MEcus is now become a frugall Sire , That spends no more then nature doth require ; And yet his wife will proue a Traueller . Although but once a yeere he lay with her .

109 Fortuna multis nimium dedit . NOw fie vpon thee Coward Nemius , That oft hast puld thy Ladies slippers on , Yet still wer't bashfull , not so venturous , As once so much her leg to looke vpon : Were I thy father , and thou heire to me , I would for certaine disinherit thee .

110 Hic laqueos tendit , qui laqueo moritur . WHo euer held Mendoza halfe so wise , To haue attempted such an enterprise , As had not Tyburne soone preuented it , Mendoza would haue learn'd but too much wit .

111 Sic transit gloria mundi . I Pray sir , did you note on Sunday last , How richly Rubin was apparelled ? Well may he be compared to a blast , Or vnto one that 's metamorphosed : For one next morning , ere the day did dawne , All that he wore , and more , was laid to pawne .

112 Post ga●dia luctus . A Ye me ( quoth Amy ) who would ere haue though So great a mischiefe should arise of nought ? Which , had she knowne , ere she began to swell , Each yard of pleasure should haue prou'd an ell .

113 Noctes aique dies patet atri lanua Ditis . The times are waxen dead with Dalila , Who since the Tearme hath felt but little sturri● Then was she sought to more then Helena , When Gallants gallopt with their Coaches hurring : But now shee speakes with all that please to call , Lo , thus her trade doth tearmly rise and fall .

114 Linguam vis nulla domabit . MVns skill in horses doth so much excell , As no man liuing breakes them halfe so well : And yet one Filly quite comptroles his arte , He neuer backs her but she breakes his hart .

115 Fronti nulla fides . GAllus that greatest Roost cocke in the rout , Swels now as big as Bacchus did with wine , ●ike to a Hulke , bearing himselfe about , ●nd bristling as a Boare or Porpentine : T is not his lockes that makes him looke so 〈◊〉 , For all men knowes he weares a Periwig .

116 Roganti dabitur . ●Arcus stood musing , maugre all his might , Where he should goe to lodge this other night , ●till the Beadle vnawares came on him . ●●d volens nolens thrust a bed upon him .

117 Dat census Honores T' is plainly knowne that our young knight , sir Ad●● Had his beginning from an ancient name , And ( though not rich ) may make his wife a Madam , That brings her dowry to maintaine the same : Say , that the Herald cannot blaze him forth , Must Knight-ship therefore be of no more worth ▪

118 Tremuit sub pondere Cymba . HAd not Formosa very foule ill lucke , Who●e stooping simply but a rose to plucke , Made to the hearers that so loudly knowne , Which neuer yet before report had blowne ?

119 Negat o●cula gratè r●ga●a . ●Riscilla proues most dainty o● a kisse , When of a stranger she intreated is , ●ord , how she simpring fits , and minceth it ! 〈◊〉 very deed sir , shee 'l not eate a bit : What , would you haue her by and by suspected , That for a Whoore hath beene so long detected ?

120 Coitum , non oscula la●da● . WHen Kester courted Kate but for a kisse , She coyly told him , that he aim'd amisse : ●ou maist beleeue her ( K●ster ) what she said , 〈◊〉 halfe the parish knowes she is no maid .

121 Calum non animum mutat , NAy fie , how strange you make it Mistresse Iane , That will not know your quondam tryed friends , Remember since you lodg'd in Cart-her-lane : Shall former kindnesse merite no amends ? I say no more , well you may change your name , But once a Whoore , you should be still the same .

122 Purtus ventrem sequitur . MAud being mou'd at foureteene yeares to ma● Said ( were she tall inough ) she would not car●● T' were good her sister but so wise had beene , That had a Bastard ●re she was fifteene .

123 Di●es quis stultus habetur ? T Is true that Simon ( simple though you thinke him ) Knowes how to execute his fathers trade , ●hich ( no dispraise ) may with that substance link him ●s quickly shall amend what nature made . Doe not your most fooles thriue exceeding well , That haue but wit inough to buy and sell ?

124 Hoc aliquid nihil . GVido hath gotten very goodly suits , That of his labours are the onely fruits , ●eane no other suits then those he weares , ●hich how to compasse , is that Guido feares .

125 Qui deierat peierat . DAcus hath damn'd himselfe on due regard From Tauernes , Plaies , Tobacco , and from Win● Swearing hee 'l liue like Iohn of Paules-Church-yard , At least will often with Duke Humphry dine : T' were well done ( Dacus ) hadst thou power to do 〈◊〉 But Dice and Drabs ( I feare ) will hold thee to it .

126 Impar aetas , impare sque mores . IT could not be ( me thinkes ) imagined , That Iulia could haue lost her maidenhead Being so yong , but that her selfe first told it , To whom , and where she this vacation sold it .

127 Soluat Ecclesia . WHen Rose had reckned her full time at large , She then bethinketh whom to nominate ●hat might partake with her ensuing charge , ●t length , with wisedome more considerate , She gesseth none mongst all the rest to fit , As is the parish Priest to father it .

128 Indomitae tandem veniunt ad aratra i●●encae . ●Esbia the faire , that would be woo'd of none , Hath since beene won by many more then one : ●●d like a flower , whose colour soone doth fade , ●th often riding , proues a hackney Iade .

129 Casta est quam , Nemo roga●it ▪ WHo bruits it Mistresse Parnell is no maid , And will not answere such discurtesie ? She scornes the very worst that can be said , And stands so much on her virginitie : As flatly to their teeth she doth retort it , Presuming none so vile that will report it .

130 Aurum volat ocius Euro . MOnsieur Fleming fraught with Angels store , Would see faire London , neuer seene before : Where lodging with his Mistresse but one night , Had ( ere he parted ) put them all to flight .

131 Musae spernuntur egenae ▪ FA●nus for feates of Fencing beares the Bell , For skill in musicke on each Instrument , For dancing , caruing , and discoursing well , With other sundry gifts more excellent : But striuing still to make his credit stronger , The Taylor will not trust him any longer .

1●● Non patitur res seria iocum . TIb tooke an oath , that Tomesin was no maid , Who angry , bad , beare record what she said : As good haue publisht it with Trumpet blowne , As call for witnesse in a case so knowne .

133 Frustra timet , qui sperat nihil . TVsh , hang it , have at all ( sayes Curio ) Comes not duze ace as soone as sixe and three ? Who would not rather halfe his Lands forgoe , Then be out-dar'd by such a one as hee ? Damne him , hee 'l ventur't all vpon a cast : Wert not as good turne Rogue at first as last ?

134 Sic ne perdid●rit non cessat perdere lusor . ASke Ficus how his lucke at dicing goes , Like to the tide ( sayes he ) it ebbes and floes : Then I suppose his chaunce cannot be good , For all men know , t' is longer ebbe then flood .

135 Sapiat qui diues , oportet . T Is knowne how well I liue , sayes Romeo , And whom I list , I le loue , or will despise : ●●deed it 's reason good it should be so : ●or they that wealthy are must needs be wise : But this were ill , if so it come to passe , That for your wealth you must be beg'd an asse .

136 Similis doctrina libello . CRaesus of all things loueth not to buy So many Bookes of such diuersity : ●our Almanacke ( sayes he ) yeelds all the sence , ●f times best profit , and experience .

137 Nilgratum ratione carens . PAulus a Pamphlet doth in prose present , Vnto his Lord ( the fruits of idle time ) Who farre more carelesse then therewith content , Wished it were conuerted into rime : Which done , and brought him at another season , Said , now'tis rime , before nor rime nor reason .

138 Ingenio pollet cui vim natura negauit . IF Nanus had but common gifts of nature , And no arts cunning to his cubit-stature ; He neuer could with Ladies come so neare , Nor get his victuals gratis all the yeare .

139 Turba graui paci Meritrix . Enkin is wondrous iealous of his wife , And vrgeth tearmes of shrewd suspition , ●●t knowes not him the causer of his strife , ●●t will he yeeld to no condition : For now you offer Ienkin more disgrace , Then if you horne him to his very face ,

140 Quid queat esse diu . SIgnior Fantasmus ner'e such pleasure found In any sport , as in a deepe mouth'd hound : ●●all was that pleasure , when vpon one day , 〈◊〉 lost his haire , and hunted all away .

141 Non Hospes ab Hospite tutus . LIeftenant Lentulus liues discontent , And much repineth at the want of warres , For when his credit , coyne , and all is spent , What should he doe but idly curse the starres ? Content thee Lentulus with thine estate , That wert not idle when thou stol'st the plate .

142 I am sumus ergo pares . DAmon his Dick had not this three yeares seene , But rather thinkes he hath concealed beene : Was it not strange that they so iumpe should meet , Both at a Bawdy house in Turne-bull street ?

143 Turpe senilis amor . OLd doting Claudus doth in haste desire , With beautious yong Penelope to wed , ●hose frozen appetite is set on fire , ●ntill the match be throughly finished : Indeed as good dispatch as make delay , That must be horned on his wedding day .

144 Incidit in Syllam cupiens vitare Charibdim . ●Arcellus museth how to spend that day , Wherein it likes him not to see a play ; ●t then he falles in some worse place ( I doubt ) 〈◊〉 staies so long till he be fired out .

146 Laesus amor in Furor . WHere hath sir Iohn so long beene resident ? Leauing his pensiue Lady all amort , Who well may say ( woe worth the time mis-spent ) For griefe whereof she hath no list to sport : But leaue her not againe in such a plight , Least ( out of minde ) she proue more out of sight ▪

147 Nocet empta dolore voluptas . SIsly and Kate are gone to frolike it , Late in the euening with their Tom and Kit : What lucke had they to buy their sport so deere , That in the morning must haue whipping cheere ?

147 Nullus ad amissas ibit amicus opes . HEard you not yet of Captaine Ferdinand ? That was so wont to swagger and carouse : He lodgeth now no longer in the Strand , But is remoued thence to such a house , Where all his best acquaintance that he knowes , Will not redeeme th' one halfe of what he owes .

148 Quid non speramus amantes ? ●Lerce was espoused ere he went a wooing , What should such Dunces be so long a doing ? ●is wife ( the wiser ) thought to saue that paine , 〈◊〉 getting her a cloake fit for the raine .

149 Ingenium natura dedit , queis non dedit NAy , see if Stark as yet can cease to flout , How should hee chuse ? his meere conceits are suc● T is good sir : I le not say you are a lout , Yet may a man presume to thinke as much , I feare , when we haue both done all we can , The best will scarce proue good Gramarian .

150 Lateat benèqui malè vixit . FRancisco flyes , not daring once come neare , ●ut makes th' infection to be most his feare : W●en those his Creditors that least beleeues him . Knows 't is his debt more th● the deuil that driues h●

151 Patria est vbicunque . BRaue minded Medon can no more endure To liue in England , then to brooke the lye , Tut , your temptations cannot him allure , He scornes them as an idle mockery : Vrge him no more , I tell you t will but grieue him , For here his meanes no longer may relieue him .

152 Ignoti nulla Cupido . CAstus of all sinnes makes most conscience , That men should with their chastities dispence ; She that weds him , must haue his maiden head , At least may chance to bring a foole to bed .

153 Hoc tibi sorte datum . NAy ( good sir ) giue vs leaue at least to know you , Was not your father once a man of trade ? You now are rich , I know who may besthrow you , That for your sake were yonger brothers made : ( Hearke in your eare ) t is not the wealth you haue Can shield you from the scandall of a —

154 Nec castè , nec cautè . MOunsiur Du Prie hath promis'd to take heed , That in the darke he doe no damned deed : Fye Monsieur , fie , a man of your faire meanes , And found a bed with filthy Oyster queanes ?

155 Alea nil moderabile suadet . WHen Milo meanes to spare , then spends hee most Let him but come where sport and gaming is His humour cannot hold till all be lost , And neuer thinketh he hath done amisse ; For thus resolued , Milo cares not whether , He pay th' one halfe , or lye for altogether .

156 Sero sapiunt Phryges . FEstus , that feasted long on delicates , Now such vnpleasing foolish dyet hates ; Is it not reason he should spare at last , That hath consumed more then all in wast .

157 Sine fuco pulchra venustas . MIstresse Morinda is more coy then wise , But faire she is and that most richly faire , Her husband beares it out , ( let that suffice ) And all defects is able to repaire ; But yet I wonder they should so excell , That haue bene ●ankerupts , all the world can tell .

158 Mortali● cunctacaduca . STella the starre , that whilome shin'd so bright , ●s now ecclipsed , and hath lost her light ; 〈◊〉 pitty ( Stella ) that thy starres were such , Better for thee they had not shin'd so much .

159 Pestis , cum finis amarus . FYe , would you offer Winefrid that wrong , To set abroach her Virgine chastity ? Well wotteth shee , you cannot loue her long , And which is worse , the world may it espy : Which is the thing that makes her looke into it , Or else you know how easie t' were to do it .

160 Similes labris lactucae . DIck swash ( or swaggering Dick ) through Fleet-street reeles , With Sis and Bettrice waiting at his heeles ; ●o one that would haue ●ane the wall , he swore , ●ounds , dost not see my Puncke and Paramore ?

16● Nec te quaesiueris extra . SIr , can you tell where young Pandorus liues , That was surnamed here the prodigall : He that so much for his silke stockings giues , Till nought is left to buy him shooes withall ? Oh blame him not , to make what shew he can , How should he else be thought a Gentleman .

162 Qui quondam Li●a , Lanista . T Is said that Whittington was rais'd of nought , And by a Cat , hath diuers wonders wrought ; But Fortune ( not his Cat ) makes it appeare : He may dispend a thousand markes a yeare .

163 Auro cedit honos . BL●do hath lost his Besse he knowes not where , And franticke seekes her all the streets through-out , Take courage ( Bindo ) and be of good cheere , To morrow thou shalt finde her , there 's no doubt ▪ To morrow came : deseru'd she to be shent , That brought him home inough to pay his rent ?

164 Sors vniuersa r●tat . SAm swore an oath that those late Lotteries , Were meere deceipts , and idle mockeries , For of a hundred , if he two did plucke , The standers by would say , t' was Cuckolds lucke .

165 Omnia vincit amor . HOw comes it Malcus liues vnmarried , That whilome was a sutor to so many , Doubtlesse his loue hath still miscarried , And he mis-led , was neuer lou'd of any . So that I feare , the griefe of what is past , Will cause the cockscombe hang himselfe at last .

166 Prauis communia praua . ASke Minos why he marries not , hee l ' say , He loueth not , to liue at racke and manger , Whiles he may take a snatch and so away , In common corners , like a common ranger .

167 Hic laque●s rendit , qui laqueo leditur . I●us , that like to Aesops Spaniell snatcht , 〈◊〉 The shadow , for the substance , in the water , ●hought his egges chickins , being yet vnhatcht , ●●d needs would thriue ere Lady-day the later : Sure thou wert blind , that couldst , or wouldst not see , To lay a trap for them that now catch thee .

168 Trahit sua quemque voluptas . WAt wils , you know how much he scorneth it , To be a pick-purse of anothers wit : ●●t in a pocket , please you vnderstand , ●e hath a reaching , deepe , and diuing hand .

169 Tempora mutantur , &c. I Cry you mercy sir , I knew you not , Thus Courtly Metamorphosed of late , Your Country kinsfolkes haue you quite forgot , You braue it out with that Maiesticke state , As but I now recall whose sonne you were , You might haue passed for some Nobles heire .

170 Na●uram expellere durum . PArcus now sparing cost , sweares hee 'l begin , To enter commons in some Chancery Inne , And will no longer once a day be fed , That still before went supperlesse to bed .

171 Nummos & Demona iungit . BAt bids you swell with enuy till you burst , So he be rich , and may his Coffers fill , ●ringing th' example of the Fox that 's curst , ●nd threatning folkes that haue least power to kill , For why 't is knowne his trade can neuer fall , That hath already got the Diuell and all ,

172 Viuit post funera virtus . SIlus hath sould his Crimson Satten sute , And needs will learne to play vpon the Lute , ●is well done ( Silus ) for such sutes soone waste , ●hereas thy skill on Lutes will euer last .

173 Grata superueniet quae non sperabitur hora. PErswade not Romulus to take a wife , That is to wedlocke sworne an enemy , And euer vowes to lead a single life , Which he accounts most honest purity : Besides a thousand reasons that constraines him , And more ( but mum ) t is known whose wife maintai● hi●

174 Opinio preualet veritati . I Asked Pontus . why he tooke such paines , To trot in Tearme-time for so little gaines , His answere was , that such as stand on wooings , Must , howsoeuer , seeme to haue some dooings .

175 Moritur , cui fama perennis . AMongst our Poets Rauchus reckoned is , But lesse beholding to be so reputed , For honest truth it selfe knowne to be his , With fained Poetry was neuer suted : Then must it certainly be said amisse , Amongst our Poets Rauchus reck'ned is .

176 Canis ad Vomitum . MAt in the mood of his distemp'rature , Sweares he must fight to keepe his hands in vre , For being weary of his theeuing trade , What should he doe , if not approue his blade ?

177 Sper●it gens rustica musas . WHat tell you me of Pontus peasant groome , That Tearmely posteth vpto purchase pelf● Which he obscures within some desert roome , And basely liues a slaue vnto himselfe ? Spurre him in any point , but in a lease , You 'l sooner tire the iade , then melt his grease .

178 F●uent periuria furtum . PIso hath stolne a siluer Boule in iest , For which ( suspected onely , not confest , ) Rather then Piso will restore the Boule , To quit the body he will cast the soule .

179 Timodos fortunae repellit . WHen Miles the Seruingman my Lady kist , She knew him not , ( though scarcely could resist So sweet a youth , and well apparelled ) Had not the Dunce himselfe discouered : For this ( quoth he ) my Maister bad me say , — How 's that ( quoth she ? ) and frowning flings away : ●ext to the heart , she tooke her marke amisse , And th●●●hee should a Seruing● creature kisse ▪ Why thus it is , when fooles must make it known● , They come o● others businesse , not their owne .

180 Venaeli veneri suspensa haedera . A Scoffing mate , that past along Cheap-side , Incontinent a gallant Lasse espide : Whose tempting breasts ( as to the sale laid out ) Incites this yongster thus to gin to flout . Lady ▪ ( quoth he ) is this flesh to be sold ? No Lord ( quoth she ) for silver nor for gold : But wherefore aske you ? ( and there made a stop ) To buy ( quoth he ) if not , shut vp your shop .

181 Nonnunquam iactat egenus . IAcke is a Gentleman , I must confesse , For ther 's no womans Taylor can be lesse .

182 Nemo omnibus horis sapit . NIsus that doth his night-cap so much vse , Was neerely brought vnto his winding sheet , Whose guilty conscience did him most accuse , That he was plagu'd for walking late the street ; And well deseru'd , nor could he well doe worse , Then deale with drabs , be drunke , and lose his purse

183 Pudor est suae d●mna referre . ●Eter hath lost his purse , but will conceale it , Lest she that stole it , to his shame reueale it .

184 Prodit se lumine Luscus . LVscus that late lay with his mistresse maid , And ( fearing much to haue the matter knowne ) Went to his fellow , whom he friendly praid To counsell him , as were the cause his owne : He that ( more cunning ) knew what should be done , Tooke this aduantage for his better speed ; To finish that which th' other had begun , But then alas , she prou'd with childe indeed , And made the Woodcocke ( who did first bewray i● Stand to the reckoning , that could better pay it .

185 Quos ego ? sed motos praest at , &c. FLaccus giues out ( because the world shall know it ) How bitter shortly he intends to write , Threatning therein to firke his fellow Poet , Gainst whom he beareth such reuenging spite : But soft ( quoth Flaccus ) should I say hee 's poore ? Oh no : least others talke as much of me . Or shall I tell him that he loues a whoore ? Tush , therein likewise wee both iumpe agree . Faith , Flaccus doubtlesse will his spleene recall , I , I : As good be friends , nor write at all .

186 Quid non pecunia ? SHall squint-ey'd Mopsus , old Cincanters sonne , Be matcht with Beauty for his little pelfe ? Much better were the Lobcocke lost then wonne , Vnlesse hee knew how to behaue himselfe . But this hath euer beene the plague of it : That such are lou'd more for their wealth then wit .

187 Forma bonum fragile . MArce●la now growne old hath broke her Glasse , Because it flatters not as 't did : alas , Who would desire that any sencelesse stone , Should shew good count'nance , that receiueth none ?

188 Sorte tua contentus . BArtus being bid to supper to a Lord , Was marshal'd at the lower end of the boord . Who vext thereat , 'mongst his Comrag's doth fret , And sweares , that he below the salt was set . But Bartus th' art a foole , to fret and sweare , The salt stands on the boord , wouldst thou sit there ?

189 Malum est quod tegitur . BArtellus for a swelling in his groine , Hath cut his shooe , and of his toe doth whine , ●ut what by that ( Bartellus doest thou gaine ? ) ●he neighbours know too well where lyes thy paine .

190 Vox impedit Esurienti . GLute at meales is neuer heard to talke : For which the more his chaps and chin doth walk● When euery one that sits about the bord , Makes sport to aske , what Gluto , nere a word ? He forc'd to answere , being very loth , Is almost choak't ▪ speaking and eating both .

191 Semper tibi pr●ximus esto . THe will that women haue , doth shew the want of wit we 〈◊〉 For we fro women take our woe , by giuing way to wom●●

192 Post dulcia finis am●rus . HAue you not heard of Monsieur Maximus , That liues by lending without interest ? But then he tels you with prouiso , thus , You must assure your lands for such request : Which done , be sure you ner'e in peace shall rest But more perplext , then with the diuell possest .

●94 He● domus antiqua , &c. BRutus whose buildings cost a thousand pound , ( Being newly fram'd , of late , euen from the ground ) Is fayrer farre then when his Father liu'd , Because it 's richer and more rare contriu'd ; Yet many times I heare the poore man weepe , Saying , his father better house did keepe : Which vnto me a Paradox doth seeme , That what is worser that men better deeme .

195 Nil refert loqui , dum v●iliceat . AN English Lad long wood a Lasse of Wales , And entertained her with pretty tales : Although she vnderstood not how to try him , ●et gaue consent at last to vnder-lye him ; ●oth hauing dallyed with full saciety , The wench to manifest the more sobrietie ) ●old , in her language , she was fully p'ayd : ●nd Degon , degon , once or twice she said , Degon in Welsh doth signifie enus● , ) ●hich he mistaking , answer'd thus in snuffe , Degon that will , ( for I protest ) so sore Haue dig'd already , I can dig no more .

196 Lenones Leones . VRbanus that committed an offence , With a yong country Lasse , ( poore silly foole ) To salue his credit , soone conueys her hence , Vnto a Garden-house , or Vaulting-schoole . Where ( now vnloden of that lucklesse ill ) And all dispatched ( saue the houshould charge : ) The good-man-Bawd , or Pander ( which you will ) Brings him no Ticket , but a Bill at large . Item for pipkins , pap , and other things , Amounting all to twenty markes , or more : And this aloud into his eares he rings , Pray sir ( quoth he ) for shame discharge your score . Vrbanus loath to be proclaim'd a Gull , Was willing to compound in any wise : But yet not tendring his demand at full , Said , he had seene the Lyons once or twise , The Lyons ( answeres he ) that may be true , But thinke you thence to merit any praise ? Each Lobcooke may those Lyons daily view , Haue you not seene the Dragons in your dayes ? No ( quoth Vrbanus ) that I must confesse , Then ( said the Pander ) you must pay no lesse .

197 Pud●re suo impudens . A Certaine fellow of the purer sect , Who outwardly did holinesse respect , Could not endure a Surplice in the Church ; Yet was he lately found in such a lurch , That though he could not with a Surplice beare , Did in the Chancell yet a white sheet weare .

198 Non nouit seipsum . COuld Titus deeme the times he now bestowes , To be the same he did prognosticate , ●hat thus of late transform'd himselfe not knowes , He is become so great a Potentate , Who would haue thought ( his father but a Tanner ) The son should braue it in that pompeous manner .

199 Spernit gens rustica Musas . WHat tell you me of Porcus Pesant-Groome , That scrapeth vp together so much thrift , Which he obscures within some desart roome , And basely liues vnknowne by any shift . His lookes are Characters of his discent , Sprung from the loynes of some mechanick Syre , That neuer knew what ciuill vsagement , But to be onely rich doth still aspire : Spurre him in any thing but in his trade , And you shall see how scone he 'le proue a Iade .

200 Ictus Piscator sapit . WHen Caecus had beene wedded now three daye And all his neighbours bad God giue him io● This strange conclusion with his Wife assaies , Why till her marriage day she prou'd so coy ; ( Quoth he ) we man and wife in manner were , A month before : then could we haue repented ? Alas ( quoth she ) had I not cause to feare , How you might conster it , had I consented ? Fore God ( quoth hee ) t' was well thou didst not yeel● For doubtlesse then my purpose was to leaue thee . Oh Sir ( quoth she ) I once was so beguild , And thought the next man should not so deceiue me Now out alas ( quoth he ) thou breed'st my wo , Why man ( quoth she ) I speake but quid pro quo .

201 Detur quod meritum . A Courtier kinde in speach , curst in condition , Finding his faults could be no longer hidden , Came to his friend to cleare his bad suspition , ( And fearing least he should be more then chidden , ) Fell to a flattering and most base submission , Vowing to kisse his foote if he were bidden : My foote said he ? Nay , that were too submisse , You three foote higher ; well deserue to kisse .

202 ●enus in specie . WHat curl'd-pate youth is he that sitteth there So neere your wife , and whispers in her eare ? And holds her hand in his , and soft doth wring her ? And slides her Ring oft vp and downe her finger ? Sure 't is some man that 's seene in both the lawes . Retain'd by her in some important cause : Prompt of behauiour in his words and action , That doth her bus'nesse with great satisfaction .

203 A malo ad peius YOu sent to me to borrow twenty marke , But to that suite by no meanes would I harke , Then presently you sent a man in post , To tell me that a Lord with you would host : And you must haue to entertaine his state , A Siluer Bason with some other plate , Are you a cockscombe ? or thinke me a foole ? That should be set againe vnto the Schoole ? Indeed I were a Woodcocke to be wondred , ( Denying twenty markes ) would lend a hundred .

204 La●et aliquid occultum ●F Doll step out of Dores into the street , ● But towards Church or with a friend to meet , What is the cause ( it may be some will aske , ) Why she still hooded goeth in her maske ? Oh shee 's afraid it would be much disgrace , The wind or raine should marre her painted face .

205 Vsus promptos facit WHy striues old Turnus still to haue the wall● Oh , he is euer druncke and feares to fall .

206 Semper idem Incultus . TOr●●s hath left his late mechannick trade , And vseth now another new profession , But being still the same that Nature made , Yeelds to his former stampe the same impression : Of whom I well may write this Epigram , Ne quisquam Sutor vltra Crepidam .

207 Foras expertus . PRiscus hath beene a Traueller for why , He will so strangely swagger , sweare , and lye .

208 Leui , responsio leuis . PRetus that late had office borne in London , Was bid by 〈◊〉 good morrow Pretus quondom , He , with a iest ( no whit put out of temper ) Reply'd incontinent Ad●e kn●●● Sempe● : Another in a kinde of scoffing speeches , Would needes request his gowne to line his breeche● Not so quoth he , but sure t will be thy hap , That for thy knauish head thou line thy Cap.

209 Nil perdit ign●tus . VNto a certaine Gentlewomans chamber A Pedler came , ( her husband being thence ) To sell her linnen , Ciuit , Muske , or A●ber : ●he francke of fauours , sparing of expence , ●o bargaines with him ere he par●ed thence , That for a parcell of his purest lawne , To grant dishonest pleasures she was drawne . Next day the man repenting of his cost , Began to thinke vpon some r●stitution , How to be paid at length for what was lost , Which he intends to put in execution ; And therefore bent with setled resolution , Vnto her husband presently repaires , To aske him fiftie shillings for his wares . Her husband ignorant what cause had bred it , Saies wife , how comes it you haue spent such store , And must with pettie Chapmen runne in credit ? Now for my honour sake doe so no more . Good Sir ( quoth she ) I meant it to restore , That tooke it of him onely for a tryall , And finde 't is too high prised by a ryall .

210 Vt nascimur , morimur . WHen to the world we came , we nought did bring Borne therefore first of nought , & nought dying

211 In obitum Promi . THat Death should thus from hence our Butler catch , Into my minde it cannot quickly sincke , ●●re Death came thirsty to the Buttry Hatch , ●hen he ( that busie was ) denid him drincke : ●ut 't was not so : 't is like he gaue him liquer , ●nd Death made drunke , tooke him away the quicker , Yet let not others grieu● too much in minde , ( The Butler gon ) the Keyes are left behinde .

212 Imp●r Impares odit . SOtus hates wisemen ( for himselfe is none ) And fooles he hates because himselfe is one .

213 Quod nimis , nequicquam . CReta respects her husband wondrous well , It needes no proofe , for euery one can tell How kinde she is , that if I not mistake , Her loue extends to others for his sake .

214 Ignauis stimulum . VOrax is vext that I thus reprehend him , Faith if words will not , Silence cannot mend him .

215 Sapiunt quaecunque probantur . WE make our Epigrams , as men taste cheese , Which hath his relish in the last farewell : Like as the purest liquor hath his leeze , So may you yearely end the tale you tell , The Tayle ( of all things ) some men aime at most , Those that had rather fast , may kisse the post . And ther 's an end .

Semel insaniuimus omnes . THus haue I waded through a worthlesse taske , Whereto ( I trust ) ther 's no exceptions tane , For ( meant to none ) I answere such as aske , 'T is like apparrell made in Birchin-Lane . If any please to sute themselues and weare it , The blam's not mine , but theirs that needes wi●● beare VT tibi lecta placent , mea sic mihi scripta placebu● I●dicio seruit gratia nostra tuo . Abijois ista ferus ? mo●●tur mea musa dolendo , Accipis ista libens ? illa quod optat hab●t .

FINIS .