A contention betwene three bretheren, that is to say, the vvhoremonger, the dronkarde, and the diceplayer to approue which of them three is the worste, by reason that their deceased father had giuen his succession from the worste of them three : a worke no lesse profitable then pleasurable to read, for so much as the vilenesse of those three vices, is herein sette oute at large / compiled by Thomas Salter.

A contention betwene three Bretheren : That is to say , the Whoremonger , the Dronkarde , and the Dice-player , to approue which of them three is the worste , by reason that their deceased Father had giuen his Succession from the worste of them three .

¶ A worke no lesse profitable then pleasurable to read , for so much as the vilenesse of those three vices , is herein sette oute at large .

Compiled by Thomas Salter . Tout á l'honneur de Dieu .

Imprinted at London , for Thomas Gosson , dwelling in Pater noster Roe , nexte to the signe of the Castell . 1581.

WIthin this little booke , is vice set out at large : By those that to excuse the same , giue seuerally his charge . In it also is seene , how euery seuerall man : Others to blame ( and hides his owne Vice ) doth the most he can , Whereby we may perceiue , how Sathan subtilly : Makes men seeme blind in their own faults , when others they discry . FINIS .

¶ TO HIS 〈…〉 Scholler , William 〈…〉 wisheth 〈…〉 felicitie 1581.

AS the giuing of a gift vnto any one ( my good Scholler ) on hope to receiue for it a greater gift , is a kinde of vsurie : So to giue none at al for feare of losing reward , is a degree of auarice .

Againe , as to repent the giuing of a gift after it is giuen , is a testemonie of imprudencie : So to giue one perforce without receiuing satisfaction for it from them that receiue it is an vnwise bargaine . But who so considereth in his giuing of any gift , what he giueth , when he giueth , to whom he giueth & how much he giueth , may not onely be thought a true , but also a liberall and discreet friend .

Now I thy Tutor , louing thee faithfully , doe giue vnto thee with a most hartie & Zealous good will , this little Pamdhilet , intituled : A strange Contention betweene three brethren &c. And therfore euen as the right giuing of a gift , is an act of liberalitie , so a little remuneration is a manifest token of a thankful minde . Now the recompence that I request ( for this ) at thy hands , is no other , than first to haue thee courteously to accept it , next willingly to read it , & lastly , wisely & discretely to consider of it . And so doing , although it beareth outwardlye the badge of brauling betwene brethren , yet by meanes of the same , thou shalt see three execrable vices so pithily deciphered & set foorth , that is to say , Whoordome , Dronkenness , & Diceplaying , as I haue no doubt , but it shal both turne to thy pleasure , and others Profite . For what greater Pleasure may be presented vnto the , or what sweeter profit vnto other , then to see , ( by sundry exampls , valeable reasons , & inuincible arguments ) those dangerous shelues , & Perilous rocks laid open ( thereby the better to shun & auoid them ) on which many earst haue made , & diuers yet dayly doe make most shamefull and grieuous shipwrake . Well as I saide , touching this my gift , my request once againe is , that you first courteously accept it , & them that you request others vprightly to iudge of it . By dooing wheroff they whom you request shal do wisely to themselues , & thankfully to you , & you curteously vnto them , & thankfully vnto me , & I louingly , liberally , & curteously vnto you all , which am yours in all I may to do you good .

Thomas Salter .

〈…〉 Reader

HEere haue I set foorth vnto thy view ( gentle Reader ) a straunge Contention moued betwene thre bretheren which notwithstanding is not so straunge as profytable to bee considered of , and therefore although it be not so filled with fine phrases , as the workes of some late worthy writers are : yet for so much as it tendeth only to the treading down of vice , & rearing vp of vertue , ( for I tell thee , vice now is aloft , and vertue lyeth lowe , and therefore needeth help of rearing ) I beseeche thee to take it in good part , & by so doing , thou shalte incourage me to invre my penne to thy farther profite , in other suche petite Pamphlets .

Farewell T.S.

¶ THE ARGVMENT OF this present Boke , Intituled : A Contention betweene three Bretheren : that is to say , the Dronkard , the Whooremonger , and the Dice-player .

A Certain Father drawing nere vnto his ende , ( hauing three lewd disposed sonnes , the one a Whooremonger , the other a Dronkarde , and the thyrde a Diceplayer , ordained by his last Will and Testamente , that the most wicked and vicious of them three shoulde bee depriued of his succession . He being deceased , by reason of the strife risen through this bequest betweene the sayd Bretheren , they pleaded their cause themselues before Iudges , for the same purpose appoynted . To the intent that by reciprocall , and mutual accusations , personally declaimed , the matter might more clearely , and with greater Vehemency be deciphered and vnderstoode , then if it were sette foorth and debated by the voice and Organe of an aduocate . The Dronkard first , ( as appertaining vnto him for some cause ) beginneth the Alarum against his two Bretheren , seuerally , and by sundry assaultes : to the intent that he might agayne at one time , receiue from both of them , by one only assault the like . Vpon this the parties being amplie heard , there is sentence giuen . Certifying you right courteous and gentle Readers ( for it is to you , and to no enuious or malignaunt persons , that I addresse this present ) that if it please you to beholde the same , it shall not bee withoute some pleasure , and as I hope lesse without profite . For the principall end thereof tendeth vnto the teaching of all men , cheefely and first of all to be carefull of themselues , and not to thinke or imagine any thing preiudiciall or hurtfull to their neighbour , neither to search ( as Socrates alleaged in xenophon ) the imperfections of others , leauing to enquire afte● their own fault , by examining of themselues . Beeing counselled by this wise aduertisement , to take heede rather ( as the scripture teatheth vs ) vnto the great beame that restes in our owne eyes , then vnto the little more that hindereth the sight of others , that is to say , to consider , make clere , correct and a mend our owne great faultes , and offences , before we intermeddle with those litle ones of our neighboures . For to doe the contrary , and to stumble on this errour no lesse daungerous then common , is the right propertie and nature , saith Cicero in his Tosculanes of folly and ignoraunce .

The declamation of the Drunkard , against his brother the Whooremonger .

THe three bretheren aforesayde , to witte , the Drunkarde , the Whooremonger , and the Dice player , being come ( according to appointement ) before the Iudges to plead their causes themselues , concerning the inheritaunce of theire deceased Fathers succession : the Drunkarde first and for some consideration , stood forth and after silence was made , sayd in this maner .

I am not ignorante ( righte honourable ) with what weighte and importance , the present altrication and controuersie betweene vs three bretheren , is pursued & followed by meanes of oure Fathers last will and Testament . By the whiche our vices must of necessitie , be openlye heard and vnderstoode , and by reciprocall accusation , one brother must vnnaturallye and wickedly by constraint set vppon an other , a deed no doubt greatly to be auoided : But he which hath ( as hauing sequestred from him all honestie ) according to the French prouerbe , once passed ouer the bridge of Gournay , or entered the Pïc bakers dore , that is to say , hath drunke vp all his shame , feareth not so much reproch and infamie , as he doth , hunger & beggery , but staieth himselfe vpon the Greeke prouerbe mencioned in Homer , and reported in Titus Liuius , that is , to dye for hunger is a most miserable thing , which thing hauing before mine eies & with the same , the pitifull complainte of Franclipeur in plautus , wher he thus cryeth . O miserie of miseries , to bee hungry , & not to haue wherof to feede or satisfie hunger , to the ende I maye auoide such a calamitie , & not be forced to stretch out my hand in begging ( if by aduenture I should by your sentence be disherited ) I entēnd this day to pleade mine owne cause , on purpose by fallible reasons & sufficient arguments to approue that our father ment not to disherite one of these my bretheren , but both of them , & I onely to be his successor & heir , for so much as I am assured to proue that both of their crimes and offences do far exceede & surpasse mine , and to make it cleere and manifest vnto you , I am purposed to sette vpon both of them , to the intent that the vile filthinesse of the one beeing beaten downe , I may with one onely charge and alarome assaile the vile infamous life of the other , not forgetting neuertheles how sacred the name of inuectable brotherhood is , neither how straightly the coniunction of brothers is bounde , nor how much one brother ought to loue an other . But at this present all the same is not so much of my part to bee obserued and kept , as beggery is to be contemned and auoided , beside there is of antiquity a prouerbe no lesse practised than common , which is : neerer vnto me is my shirt then my coate , by following of which euerye man commonly loueth his own profit more then others . Wherfore ( right honorable ) not to hold you with to long an oration know you that our present strife is to vnderstand which of vs three Bretheren , as the most wicked & vicious , shall be depriued of our deceased Fathres succession , following the order of his last will and Testament , which of necessitie and infallibly we must accomplish & keepe , and you to the same , as to the onely marke , directe and areste your sentence .

Now to begin my assault , who is he that doth not euidentlye see that my brother the whoremonger is notably & especially marked as worthye for the vilenesse of his life , to bee disherited more than any other . I cannot but confesse my selfe to be an excessiue bibber , marueilous desirous of strong drinke , as by the Scarlet coloure on my face and firie heate in myne eyes it is euidently to be seene : but though the same be a vice , yet is it much lesse then that of whoredome : Euery man giuen to thinke his own fault ●east . for ( speaking onelye now vnto the Whooremonger ) is there any thing more vicious and infamous then to be tormented and incensed euen vnto the becomming Bedlem madde for the loue ( if so I oughte to tearme lasciuious lust ) of one or manye harlots : and among such vile and infamous sowes not to liue so long , as to languish and to imprison themselues , as in a most vile and filthie stinking hogs stye , and with those lewde Callottes and accursed queanes to chaunge their most desired libertie , into a moste vile and filthie subiection & seruitude wher and with whom they make shipwracke not onelye of good name and honour , ( treasures moste precious ) but also of health and goods , only there to attayne shame , infamie , misery , and beggery .

If all men , after Caesar in his Commentaries , naturally desyre to lyue free and at liberty , hating aboue all thinges to bee helde in seruitude , a thing most noysome and loathsome to all , cheefely to such as be noble and free borne : howe can wee sufficientlye and worthily blast out the execrable vice of the infamous Whooremonger or Adulterer , who like to a brute beaste ( for Whooredome or Adulterie transformeth a man into a beaste , sayeth Plutarch : and it is most neare to beastialitie sayth Erasmus of any vice , and farr more meete sayth Herodian for a heard of swine than for men ) goeth willinglye as it were headlong , & casteth himselfe into the gulph & bottomles bondage of an harlot , a bondage sayth Socrates mentioned in Plutarch moste vile and infamous , of whiche opinyon Cicero was also , saying : In his booke of age , shall I call or accoumpt that man free or at liberty , whom an harlot commandeth , or to whom such a one imposeth & giueth lawes ? If shee aske , hee muste giue : if she calleth , he must come : if shee becketh , he must bend , if she biddeth , he must auoyd : if she threatneth hee must tremble . No : such a one saith the moste eloquent Orator , & famous Philosopher , in my iudgement ought not only to be called a slaue , but a most wicked , vyle , & filthy slaue , yea , were he issued out of the stock of Priam , or anye other more illustrius . But passe wee on farther , al those that be giuen to whordom , & theron setteth al their minds and thoughts as on their only ioy & felicitye , they be not only breakers , & disdainers of humaine lawes , but also of diuine precepts , & that euen vnto their leauing & losing , both of the true knowledge & pure worshipping of the only almighty & omnipotent God , to conuert & turne to the culture , & sacrifice of Idolls , & other such like execrable abhominations By harlots & whores , the wise king Salomon became an adulterer : & for the same , as it is written in the booke of kings , all the realme of Israel fell wholy into the hands of Ieroboam his seruant , the stock & cities of Iuda excepted , whiche ramained vnder the rule of Roboam his son . By adultry many and sundry haue beene peruerted , & the sacred estate of marriadge so violated , as bastardes became possessors of the inheritance of the right begotten , through harlots children haue assailed & murthered their owne fathers and mothers , by adultry diuers wiues haue died & imbrued their hands in the blood & bowels of theire louinge husbands . By whordome many kings & princes , with their kingdomes & countries haue beene betraied & rendred into to the handes of their enimies , euen by those of his owne Countrey , yea , oftentimes of their kindred , & their Townes and Citties sacked , and throwne to the dust . The moste wisest and learnedste haue become madde and foolishe , and the most vertuous , strong , and magnanimious haue bene made weake , and effeminate , and of men ( euen lyke as by the poyson and witchcraft of Circes the companions of Vlisses ) haue ben transformed and tourned into swyne , and other such kinde of Beastes . Whiche thinges well considered , is there anye to be found more worthy to be blamed , or more vicious and damnable then the Whooremonger , Adulterer , or fornicator . Truste mee these kinde of liuers aunciently by the lawe of the most iust God , were condempned to be publikely stoned to death among the children of Israell ( as the most faulty ) and it was executed as in Iosua it is to bee approued . There be two things greatlye desyred and esteemed among men , that is , renown and riches . For what thinge canne there happen during this life vnto menne , that is more precious and deere , then renowne , and the Title of an honest and vertuous man , which thing , sayth the wyse man , is farre better then infinite riches , and vnto vs more permanente and laudable then all worldly Treasures , yea what thing can a man wish or desyre to haue more noble , or more bright and honourable , then a good name , and glorious renowne : to attayne vnto the whiche , all labours perrils and daungers euen vnto death , are freelye and with a willing heart vndertaken , and borne with an inuincible courage , and constancie , as Horace that famous Authour affirmeth by these words following , Thou Glory only doest heat both the heartes and minds of men : Likewise what greater contentmente is there to be found in the worlde . or what greater felicitie then a wealthye patrimonie , and aboundaunce of ryches , for the getting of which , the liues of men are continually in laboure and without rest , and that in suche wise , sayth Ecclesiasticus , as a number doe accompt it better to be without life , than to liue in neede & pouertie , as who shoulde say , it is almoste impossible to support and suffer our liues to want that , whereof we haue had afore time aboundance . Now notwithstanding that those two things , renowne and riches , be so precious , excellent , and necessarie , and so muche esteamed and soughte for of all menne , yet is the whoremonger , adulterer and fornicator so wicked and euill of himselfe , as he nothing at all esteemes of them , but rather as one without any respect or care , doth willingly make shipwracke of them : for this filthie lusting loue doth alwaies bring & drawe after it , dishonour and beggerie , the reason is forsomuch as the whoremonger or adulterer doth euer more slenderly foresee or regard his goodes and fame , of which two things , when a man is once naked , especially of the last , that is , renowne or good name , he is then most vile and reprochful , and as an infamous person is poynted at with the finger of all men , as one vnworthye to bee moned or lamented , because that of his owne free will , as preferring like a brute beaste ) lasciuious lust and lecherye , before vertuous humanitie , he plungeth himselfe into an execrable puddle of fylthines , wherin both his goods and good name are so swallowed vp and deuoured , as he euer afterwards remayns lyke one bewrapped in miserye and beggerye : for besides so manye instructions both natural and euident , it is good reason saith the harlot in plautus , that infamie , reproch and beggerie should follow and pursue my company : Besides for me and for my sake saith she in Salomon , man shall bee consumed vnto a crumbe of bread , that is to say , who soeuer haunteth the companye of an harlot , shall wast his substaunce as it were Waxe agaynste the warme Sunne .

Also sayeth plautus , the Whoremonger accoumptes of his goodes as of drosse , for without anye regarde hee selleth and spendeth it awaye , for it is the propertye of these vylanous Harlots , to waste and ruinate all , soule , body , and goods , and to bee so catching , and shamelesse snatching , that they neuer cease crauing and taking . For euen as the lecherous desyre of the Whoremonger increaseth and springeth vp hote and insatiable within him , euen so is the importunitie of an Harlot neuer satisfied nor fylled from asking , catching , and drawing ? for haste thou giuen her to daye , to morrow thou must also do the same , yea , sayth Plautus , so long as she seeth anye thing to bee gotten by thee , as money , or moneyes worth , she will with sweete honnye wordes in flattering wise seeke to content and please thee , and all the roomes in hir house shall be opened vnto thee , and her seruauntes as slaues shall serue and obey thee , but art thou frowned on by Fortune ? or are thy goods and substance gone and wasted ? then farewell , fayre friendes haue good daye , for no longer Penny , no longer pater noster , thy credite is crackt , and thy former professed friendship , vtterly maimed , nay , sayth the Harlot , if thou bringest no mony with thee , thou comst in vayne to haue dalyaunce or countenaunce of me . Besides , beeing so disfurnished and powlde of substaunce , euerye one will flie from thee , and reproche and sorrowe accompanied with greefe will pursue and follow thee , banished from all estimation , as a thing by thee , and vnto thee , worthelye merited , for sayth the Poet.

We cannot inough reproue him , that his goods so spends : Or who in lust doth loue , his fame and credite endes .

Likewise it appeareth , that the worthy Poet , and most famous Philosopher Hesiodas , went about carefullye to aduertise and withdrawe vs , by these his verses .

Beware and take good heede , that thou so rul'st thy hart , As it be not agreede to take an harlots part . For when she fairest speakes , and sweeteliest seeme to smile : Then onely doth she breake , her traines thee to beguile .

Likewise , wherevnto tendeth all the Comicall Poets , or the end of their Comedies , for Comedie is nothing else after Cicero , alleaged in the Aucolastus of Gnaseus , then the myrrour and representation of humayne lyfe , saue onely to reprooue and blame this filthie shamelesse & abhominable loue , and from the same , as from a thing most vicious and infamous to estrange and turne all wanton youthfull folke , as also to bee an example and instruction to flie and abhorre the baytes and allurements of these harlots , together their infinite cautels and deceptions , and as many daungers and euill haps as depend therevpon : beholde in the Merchaunt of Plautus , how the father with sharpe threatninges and verball rebukes , with all the force hee hath endeauoured himselfe to reuoke and vnwrap his sonne Charin oute of the snares & hookes of harlots , in which he was synfully snared , as knowing the same vyce to bee aboue all other moste pernitious and hurtfull , principally to youth , and generally to al ages . In the Turculent of the same Poet , sayth one named Getus , I cannot better resemble an harlot than to the sea : bicause that shee deuoureth , like vnto the sea , al that she getteth , & yet neuer will be satisfyed , giue vnto hir as much as thou wilt , & there shall nothing be seene either of the giuer or the receauer : for which cause Diogenes in plutarche calleth the belly of an harlot ▪ the Caribdes or gulphe of life , bicause that it swaloweth and glutteth vp al things , & is neuer content nor filled . Now Caribdes was a gulphe of the sea , & very dangerous , which swalowed vp only al that passed by it , neuertheles it afterwardes did vomite it out agayne . But as touching the insatiable bely of an harlot , neither the aire , the earth , the sea , nor the riuers suffice , but it swalloweth & deuoureth fields , castles , & houses , & neuer rendreth or returneth anye thing backe agayne , whiche thing Argiripus knowing very well , though somewhat too late , for so much as hee had bene spoyled of all that euer hee had , in a brothell house , and afterwards cast out of it naked : he cried oute in his complaint , and sayd : O sea , thou art not the sea , but you O ye harlots are the same , whereon so manye thousande of yong youths sustaine shamefull losse & shipwrack , for you suck & sip vp the blood of men , of whose laboures and trauayles you haue your houses most sumptuously and gorgeously decked and adorned to theire shame , ruine , and confusion . Wherefore , sayth Plautus again in his Stico . Whosoeuer can eschew them , let them eschew them , whose name among the Auncientes , haue bene in such detestation , as many fathers haue disherited their Heires , because they yeelded their neckes to the yoakes of Harlots . The nature of whome beeing ingendered of Pluto and Tisiphone ( sayeth Palingenius ) is to promise Suger , and honny , but to giue nothing but bitter Gall and poyson .

Among the x. Commaundementes of Almighty God , this one is specially noted Thou shalt not commit adulterie , by which words we are expresly prohibited and forbidden all manner of fornication , whatsoeuer it bee comprehended ( as it is written in Augustin ) vnder this word , Adulterie . The which commaundement is notably and very often reapeated in the holy Scriptures , by the onely mouth of God , his Apostles , and Euangelists . Now then if it behoueth vs inuiolably , and infallibly , and that on payne of eternal death , to obserue , fulfill , and keepe the diuine Lawes and statutes , in which there is nothing forgotten needefull to our health : What sayst thou O Adulterer , O Whoremonger , O Fornicator , which against sayst the same , doest thou not see , or wilt thou not confesse thy vicious life to be farre more filthy & abhominable than mine ? I will tel the , whoredome was in old time so abhorred in Italy , as by the thirteenth Lawe of Romulus the first King of the Romaines , it was establyshed and permitted to husbandes and parents to kill or cause to bee killed after what manner so euer they would , theyr wiues or kinsfolkes taken in adulterie , which thing thou neuer heardst any Lawe commaunde against any dronkard .

And although that Lycurgus , that King and seuere Law maker of the Lacedemonians , hath not written ( as the Iurisconsull Baw●ow● in his Commentarye vppon the Romulan Lawes re●●●eth ) neither made anye Lawe for whoremongers , possible it was bicause he thought that there woulde bee no whoredome , vsed in Lacedemon , where the people by meanes of his seuere Lawes , were most modest and content : neuerthelesse the time of Romulus was not so , and therefore he wisely thought no Lawe to be more necessarie in a common weale , then that against Adulterers and Whormongers .

And yet Lycurgus peraduenture woulde haue aunswered , to them that hadde demaunded it , that hee omitted and left out that Lawe , bicause that hee hoped , that with great paine and difficultie it coulde haue indured with such seueritie . For what is it that Whordome dareth not doe ? what is it that it vndertakes not ?

What is that it doth not breake , vyolate and peruert ? What is it that can restrane the lasciuious and lewd will or affection of sensuall and disordinate men ? Truely there was neuer Lawe more required , nor oftener made and reapeated , neither more boldly and often broken and despised .

Which Lawe of Romulus , the auncient Germaines or Almaines seemed to followe : For among them as Tacitus writeth , husbandes were so permitted to punish their wiues taken in adulterie .

Also by the Lawe of Iulius , it was lawfull for the Father , to burye his Daughter quicke , if hee hadde taken her in Adulterye .

Zeleucus likewise among manye other lawes which hee made to the Locrians , ordeined that the adulterer or whoremonger , what soeuer he or she were , should haue both his and her eyes put out , & as he would haue executed the sayd Lawe in the person of his own sonne accused of the same crime , and that the magistrates and citizens of Locres , in fauour of the vertues and deserts of his father , had compassion and pittie of the Sonne , and remitted and acquitted his offence , he neuerthelesse beeing a rare myrrour of Princely Iustice , desirous first to keepe the Law inuiolate , which he himselfe had made , caused one of his owne eyes and one of his sonnes to be put out .

Beside amongst the auncient Aegyptians , the whōremonger was whipped till the bloode followed , & the harlot had hir nose cut , to the end that by the same meanes ( as Tauet writeth in his Cosmographie of Leuant ) shee might be depriued of that part of hir face , by losse of which she presently lost all her bewtye whiche had leade both her , and the Whooremonger , her vicious louer to commit euil .

Thus loe by the Lawes and statutes both of the Scripture and otherwise it is euidently approued , that the Whooremonger hath bene vsed to bee condemned to death , and to bee greeuouslye punished for adulterye , whiche thing neuer was done vpon the Dronkard : by whiche onelye argumente , O Whooremonger thou art iustlye to bee adiudged farre more worse and euill then I , and so by consequence depryued of our Fathers Landes .

And yet notwithstanding all these vices and inconueniences aboue named belonging to the whooremonger , tell me what is whooredome and suche vnhonest loue ( if as before I sayde , I may tearme it loue ) but onlye a meere madnesse , a forgetfulnesse of reason , a trouble of Councell , a corrupting of good and vertuous myndes , and a plucking backe of vertuous and Heauenly enterprises , to darke and earthly , nay rather hellish vsages , making men become euer more , complaynours , quarrellours readye to ryotte and anger , proud , rashe , slauishlye fawninge , vnprofitable for all thinges , yea finallye , for themselues .

For the Whoremonger broylyng in the disordinate and insatiable desire of reaping his delight , after that hee hath during this hunting , loste and consumed long space of his time , in maddnesse , mourning , teares , sorrowing and lamenting , hee at the last , wasteth in suche manner , as miserablye ( sayeth Alciat ) beeing so wrapped and snarreled , hee whollye perisheth , whereby hee not onelye becommeth hatefull to all other , but also to him selfe , for then hee hateth to lyue .

O where is that so shamelesse an Whoremonger or so obstinate a Venerian warriour , or bolde Souldioure of Cupid , that these aduertisements will not enforce to blushe and sownde for shame , and that acknowledginge his owne infamye , with weepinge and wayling , tremblinge and quakinge , will not condemne himselfe as the moste reprochefull and vile creature in the worlde .

Or if this will not suffice thee , O Adulterer , hearke yet what Valerius saythe in exclaminge agaynste thee .

What is there ( saythe hee ) more vycious and infamous , more infectious and hurtefull , then whordome : the whiche as by Witchcrafte or Inchauntemente so farre transporteth the minde of man , that it throweth him from reason to beastialitye , making him not only foolish , sottish and filthye mopish , but also so madde and witlesse , that hee willingelye nourishethe the Aspe in his boosome that bytethe him euen to the hearte , not feeling the poyson so neere .

By the which : Uertue is chaunged , Glory quenched , and good name killed , for it doth not al only consume and wast the goods belonging to the bodie , but also those most precious giftes belonging to the soule : in such manner , as it is harde to iudge , which of these two daungers are most to be feared , either to be taken of enimies or of harlotes , which miserie most wofully wrapped the Citie of the Volsians in greuous calamities and shamefull infamies : for as soone as the same Citie , ( which wontedly was the heade of Hetruria , no lesse garnished with good Lawes , manners and customes , then with aboundaunce of wealth and riches ) was once brought into the bondes of filthinesse , it fell in and vnto the verye bottome of all wretchednesse , in such wyse , as it submitted it selfe most slauishlye vnto the seruitude of slaues .

At what time also that the mightie King Xerxes , gaue himselfe ouer vnto luste and Whooredome , at that very same time , began both the ruine of himselfe and his Persian Monarchie .

By Whooredome that mightie tamer of Monsters , and onely subduer of tyrantes , Hercules became so vyle and effeminate , that hee tooke a Distaffe and spindle , and with the same in the attire of a woman did spinne among women , as hereafter I will shewe more at large .

Who , or what broughte that victorious and deadly vowed enimie of the Romaines , Hanniball to vtter ruine in Capua , and that moste famous King Priam of Troy , but onely Whoores , & Whooredome , the whiche also alienated the good King and Prophet Dauid , from the feare of god , and prouoked him to murther .

Infinite of suche other like examples of mightie Princes , and worthye personages I might and could alleage , which through that vyce of Whooredome , became soone infamous and most ruinous of goods and honour .

Likewise many glorious publique Weales , puissant Empyres and kingdomes , yea the moste mightiest , sayeth Titus Liuius , therby haue ben brought to vtter ruine and desolation .

But because that bookes bee filledfull with such thinges , & that the same vnto vs al is so euidentlye knowne , I will as from superfluous matter , make my retreat , although to speake truelye , I cannot sufficientlye sette oute the abhomynation of the same sinne .

For the braue and gallant traine belonging therevnto is : Effemination , Pusillanimitie , Destruction , losse , Ill happe , Infamie , Care , Greefe , Dolor , Sorow , Frenzie , Derision , Trauaile , Tribulation , Follie , Filthinesse , Foolishnesse , Rashnes , shamelesse Malice , Couetousnesse , Sloth , Beggerie , Rage , Suspition , Iniurie , hate , Wrath , and Enmitie . To be short , as an other Poet sayeth , in speaking of the same infamous , and voluptuous loue , the cause of manye euils .

Loue ( sayth hee ) is a gulphe of euil , meaning lasciuious loue , for it assotteth the wyse , it blindeth reason , it ouerthroweth houses , it shameth renowne , it ingendereth nothing but repentaunce , and yet it is but a Smoke , which dispearceth it selfe into wind in the ayre .

Likewise sayth hee , those lusting louers , ( Lubbers he might haue termed them ) are so tyed vnto theyre Harlottes , as their heartes , myndes , and thoughtes , are as it were imprisoned within theire breastes , where they make them lyue and abyde in other bodyes besides theire owne : in suche manner , as the Whooremonger maye saye with Plautus , where I am , I am not : and where I am not , my heart , minde , and thoughte is . To which the elder Cato agreeing in Plutarche , sayth . The Louer lyueth and dwelleth in the bodye of hys beloued .

Besides , wee commonlye saye in these dayes , the mynde and affection is rather there where it loueth , then there were it liueth .

If it bee then so certayne , that such villanous loue is no other thing but meere madnesse and furye , and that whooredome or adultery is nothing else but distruction and infamye , doeth it not appeare more then playnelye , that the Whooremonger is the moste vicious , and so muche the more to bee blamed , because of his owne free will hee subiecteth hymselfe to so villanous and pernicious a vice , for the intertaining of whiche , hee committeth a thousande euils , carrying all that hee can catche or come by , vnto his polling mistres . mooued therevnto , by the wrath and iealousye that hee hath , leaste any of his companyons , or other as honeste as himselfe , shoulde shroude themselues betweene her sheetes , a suspition sure not withoute cause , for as it is written in Ecclesiasticus : The common woman is trodden downe vnder the feete of all passers by , as it were dyrt , and myre in the high way , for so much as it is not her nature and condition to serue onelye to one , but to intertaine manye , and of sundry Grapes to make hir Uintage , and fill vp her Barnes , for shee openeth hir mouth to drinke of all waters , and notoriously lendeth and selleth hir selfe to them that giue moste , resembling ( saith Plautus in his Cistellarius ) a great mightie Citie which cannot come to abounde in wealth without the vse and frequention of many men .

Thus by reasons before alleaged it is made manifest vnto you ( right Honourable ) how the whoormonger is not onely moste wicked and infamous , but also most filthy and vicious , aboue all other : in such manner , that the more I am moued against him , the more matter I finde still abounding to beate downe his vile ignomious life .

Wherefore I pray harken what the Mother of king Lamuel sayd .

My sonne , giue neyther thy selfe nor thy substaunce to these common vncomely Curtizans : for they bee the cause of many kings destruction , neither harken thou to their deceites , sayth the wise , for their lips are like distilling honnie : but the ende more bitter then gall . Their tongues cut as a two edged swoord : they walke not in the paths of lyfe , but their feet stretch vnto death , and their steppes vnto the pit . Make thou thy passage therfore farre from them , & beware of approching neere to their houses , for who so euer followeth them is foolish , & the gaine he getteth by them is ▪ shame , reproch , & dishonour , which can no waies be done away againe , yea , to be short , whosoeuer is in the fauour of harlots , is lead by them as an Ore to the Sacrifice . Auoide them therfore , for by them the most mightiest haue binne slaine : Their houses are the wayes to death , and I haue found them saith Ecclesiasticus more bitter then death , for their handes bee meere hookes and limetwigs .

Whosoeuer will please God lette him eschew them , for he with whome the Lord is angry shal fall into their pits , and the sinner shall bee taken in theire ginnes & snares , through which many haue perished , refraine thy heart therefore from them , least thou also perishest with them , for the false sweetnesse and honnied flatery of an harlot , hunteth after the precious soule of a man , vnto his hurt and ruine , drawing the vnwarie and il aduised to goe towards them to theyr shame and distruction ▪ for so much as it is the peculiar propertie of harlots to consume & wast al things in their filthinesse ( sayth Alciat ) which thinge is approued by the Acolastus of Gnafeus , when he cryeth out in complayning , saying : Thou whooredome , whom I haue had for my especial freind and companion , hast caried from me , both my gods , renowne , and frindes , leauing me in their places , thy daughters , infamy and beggery .

Fly from fornication saith S. Paul : for al other sins , whatsoeuer man committeth is without the body , but who committeth adultery sinneth within his body , & therfore shall not possesse the kingdom of God , wherfore I shal be a sodain witnes against whormongers and adulteries saith the Lord in Malachie , and theyr portion shall bee in the lake burning with fire and Brimstone .

Then seeing that the whooremonger is in such execration before God and men , it most euidently appeareth that the vice or sinne of whoordome is greatest , vilest , & most infamous of all other , goe your wayes therfore you whooremongers , or adulterers , goe your way and hide your loathsome heads , within the brothell houses of your most lewd lasciuious Ladyes .

I was readye to conclude when there came mustering and marching before mine eyes , these most profitable aduertisementes of the most rare & learned Poet and Christian Philosopher Pallingenius . The which I thinke good , desent , and conuenient to alleage heere , translated as followeth .

Neither the Circes of Libia , nor the deuouring Silla , nor the rage of Charibdis , nor any other thing in the world whatsoeuer it be , is so much to be detested , feared , and euited , as filthie fleshly pleasure , for alas to howe many destructions and ruines , doe that abhominable sinne leade menne vnto .

How many renowned and valyaunt captaynes , how many Cities , Townes and kingdoms haue there ben brought to vtter decay thereby .

And to the ende I may not anoy you by citing so many examples .

This one which I will now rehearse shall suffice , and so I will ende with the whoremonger .

Who was euer more renowned and famous for his workes , then Hercules , who euer ended mo noble actes them hee .

First being but a childe , he strangled two horrible Serpentes by force of handes .

He brused and broke in sunder the bones of Lyons , and cut off the seuen increasing deades of the Lernian monster Hidra .

He out ran by footemanshippe the mightie stagge of Menalon .

He ouercame ▪ the fierce furious Bull of Crete .

Likewise the cruell kinge of Thrace was slayne by his prowesse .

He subdued the Oxen of Iberides .

He brake the horne of Achelous .

He tourned the Strinphales . He wone the golden apples of Hesperides . He brake the gates of Hell , and from thence he drewe the three headded hound Cerberus . He slewe the Erimautean borne , Cacus and Anteus .

Afterwardes he susteyned & bare vpon his shoulder ( whilest the mightie Atlas for beeing wearie , tooke his ease and rest ) the two neere fallinge Poles .

And yet notwithstandinge all these his inuincible vertues , he slauishlye didde quake and tremble at the commaundemente of a simple Ladye .

I praye you consider the case , hee that neither feared the wrath , ire , or filthy flames of Pluto , Megera , and phlegiton .

He that neuer quaked at the terrible lookes of vgly Charon .

He fearing oftentimes ( most effeminatly ) the blaming threates of his Mistres : in steede of a blacke warlike Morian , tooke one him the white kerchife of a woman , and in steede of his swoorde and Targotte , ( most infamously ) hee toke the distaffe and spindle , and spanne threde all day , and at night as a seruile seruant hee rendered vp his taske to his Mistres among the rest , quaking for feare , least shee finding fault should chide or beate him .

O what infamie , naye rather what villanye was this , by which onely example , euery man maye easilye and rightly iudge that there is nothinge more contrarye to vertue then whooredome : Seing that by the same , wee beholde heere the ouer commer of Monstrous and Extirpatour of Tyrauntes , to be short , the most valyaunt and vertuous worthye that euer was , to bee most vilest beaten downe and broughte vnder the yoke and seruage of Ioele , a sillie yong Damsell .

Credite me I am abashed to beholde men make no more account of the greatnesse of this vice then they doe , and that they consyder not howe muche it displeaseth God , seeing with what greeuous woundes and daylye plagues : withoute excepcion of person hee punisheth Whores , and whoremongers , as with scabbes , gowtes , pockes , baldenesse , and other like lazares diseases , the due and ordinary rewards of whormongers , whose bastardes moste oftentimes sitte in the seates , and inheryte the lands of the true begotten .

Well I haue done , wherefore now vaunt yee , you Adulterers , vaunt yee hardlye , vpon you to common and vnruly adulterye , for seeing it is tyme to sounde retreate , I will conclude yeelding good and profitable mediocritye .

Aduertising thee , seing that among and with harlots thou doest willinglye wast and spend both thy time , honor , and goods , taking as it seemes delight and pleasure in following thy ruine and destruction , to confesse & acknowledge thy selfe to be , ( as certainly thou art ) the most vicious & reprochfull of vs three , which thing good brother I beleue thou wilt not denie , by following the vse of such as thou art , which is , neuer to hide or keepe close their vice , but rather to vaunt & boldly boast of it . Thus hauing said sufficient against the adulterer , I will bend my peece towards the dice player , and with him I will skirmidge an other while with other newe examples , vnto which I beseech you right honourable , to lend as attentiue eare as they shall by me be curiously and zealously set forth .

¶ The Drunkards declamation againste his Brother the Dyce-palyer .

TO the ende I maye in like manner bring to open view the greatnesse of the Dice-players vice and infamye , as I haue done the same of the Adulterer , I beseeche you my Lordes , consider if there bee any thing more pernicious and vnhonest then that Game of Diceplaying ( if the same bee worthye to beare the Title of a Game ) the which is no other thinge , then a meere tormente : a conciliation of Theeues : a father of bloody thoughtes , a racking of the interioure man , that is to say , a laboure of the minde , a repulse of vertue , a decaying of honestie , a rayser of anger , a kindler of blasphemie agaynst GOD and men , and a breaker of friendship , vnto whiche accursed Game , whosoeuer is giuen or inclined , they are alwayes sorowfull and disquieted with vexation , for wrath and dispight makes theyr faces pale and wanne , they alwayes doe that which they haue to doe in furye and desperatly beeinge continually tossed & tormented with a malicious will , and consequentlye noted with open reproche : in such manner , as not without iust and great cause , all good authours haue condempned and reproued this game or playe , infaminge and blaminge all those that giue themselues vnto it .

Amonge which , that excellent Philosopher Aristotle , in the fourth of his moralls , verye sharplye doth followe theyr defame , callinge them infamous villaines , as giuing themselues to all abhominable filthynesse .

All Law makers by theyr statutes doeth reproue and punishe them seuerely .

The Iurisconsul●s haue a title , by the which penaltie is indited and constituted , not onely against those whiche playe at the Dice , but also those which make , lead , or moue any to play at them .

Likewise that the lawes prohibite them , Horace witnesseth by this his verse The play of dice , the law forbiddeth . &c.

Moreouer Cato teacheth and instructeth vs to eschew them . Also the most auncient and vertuous Romaine senate , forbid it straightly by expresse decree : following the which , Lenticulus who played oftentimes , with the renowned Marke Anthonie at dice , was sharply reproued & condemned . The Author whereoff is Cicero ( who calleth that man most wicked and euill , which commonly playeth and ordinarily spendeth his time among dicers , saying : that the congregation and assembly of them is most filthye and villanous .

The satiricall teeth of Iuuenal , not onely iustly , but iolily doth touch & bite them , and before him Plato ( as Plutarch rehearseth ) reproued & blamed a yong man bitterly that had plaied at dice . To be briefe , the ordinary iudgmentes cryminally executed vpon dice players doe sufficientlye witnesse how greate vicious , and punishable dyce-playing is .

O thou inuentor or deuisor of them , whatsoeuer thou arte ( for to thee it is that I directe my speech ) hearken vnto me , thou haste not deuised or inuented a place of pleasure , or of pastyme , as no lesse coakishlye then commonlye men make accounte of it : but rather bloodye tormente and daungerous payne . The ende of which amonge a thousand inconueniences and euylles that happen , is , ( after they haue dispoyled men of their goods , honoures , and faculties , to prouoke and ( almoste by force and necessitie ) constrayne and thrust them , to the committing of murders and theft , and so lastly moste miserablye and shamefully to yeeld vp theyr bodies as a praye to the hangman , and a moste infamous spoyle to the Gallowes .

But for so muche as we pleade not before vnlearned Iudges , or ignoraunt folke , I will a little stray abroade , and wander along the pleasaunt Riuers & greene flourishing groues , of such humaine documentes and disciplines as haue bene collected and taken of the moste fertil and delightfull studies of plato , which Prince of Philosophers sayth , that there was once in Aegipt one named Theuth or Theuthas , otherwise Tempungine , or Triuegeste , whome some , onelye Cicero and Lactantius , affirme to be Mercury the fifte , to whom the bird called Ibis , was dedicated , which birde is like the stork , not that it is the same , the which feedeth vpon Serpentes , and with the ende of her Bill or Beake , purgeth hir selfe behinde : wherby it is thought that some learned of it , that arte or practise of Clisters : The whiche Theuth or Theuthas , firste deuised Geometrye , Astronomie , Arithmeticke , and Letters , and also Dice , for the which first foure inuentions , I worthilye thinke him worthye of greate honoure and commendation . But as I thinke him so for these foure , so I am of opinyon , that hee deserues no lesse reproche and infamie , for deuising and inuenting of the fith , which is Dice , for the great euill and hurt that commeh of theyr vse , being put in ballaunce agaynst the goodnesse and profite of the first four noble Arts is found to bee farre more heauie and waightie ,

Notwithstanding Herodotus the father of Histories attributeth vnto the Lidians ( a people of Asia the lesse ) the first inuention of Dice : But be it that Theuth or Theuthas ( after Plato ) or the Lidians ( after Herodotus ) that were the inuentors , surely which of them soeuer did it , did deuise for men a most pernicious and miserable thing . For the vse & exercise thereoff , ingendereth in the hart of the diceplaier , a facilitie & inclination to al wickednesse & vice : In such wise , as many haue bene , & oftentimes are most filthie & infamous ends to themselues , and a sorow , greif , dolor and shame to their frindes & parents . The which no lesse elegantly then trulye , the worthie renowmed Bourbon Poet noted in these words following .

The play at dice begotten by auarice , That father of theft or plague of friendship . Beeing a bloodie toyle and pitilesse furie . Is wholly filled with greife , care and iniquitie . For alas howe manye , hath the vse thereoff . Drawne as it were by happe most dampnable . To an infamous death , and ende abhominable .

The Germaines or Almaines of antiquitie were such great & obstinate plaiers at dice , as not withstanding how earnest so euer their other affaires were , they would thereat continually exercise themselues , forgetting & neglecting all their other businesse , committing to the hazard and perill of that game all their goodes and faculties , and that oftentimes in such sorte , as being throughly heate with griefe of losse , when all other means to maintaine play wanted , they would lastlye hazarde their bodies and libertie .

So that the loser entred ( as willingly ) into miserable bondage and subiection of the winner , at whose will and for his profite the looser ( were hee neuer so noble , yonge or strong , ) suffered himselfe to be bound and soulde like a beast . Which thing saith Cornelius Tacitus was a great presumption and pertinacitie , howbeit amonge them , they called it fayth or fidelitye .

Credite me , I cannot comprehende how so many men should come to bee so subiect and thrall to such a myserable happe and hazarde , whether it proceedeth of themselues , of Nature , or of the influence of Starres , and yet now I remember my selfe ( if we may credite Firmicus Maternus ) whatsoeuer they be that haue their Horoscope and birth in the ninth parte of Libra , shall be hotte and hardie Diceplayers . O Starre moste daungerous , O complection moste calamitous , and O Planets moste cruell and pernitious : vnder whiche , and by whiche , men are borne to be Dece players , and thereby bound to the bondage of all vices . Woulde to God for my parte , that all Dice , with the games and pastime belonging vnto them , I meane their cursed happe , miserye and torment ( for in them there is not founde neither doth there proceede from them , any other thing ) I would to God I say for my part , that they were altogether taken away , & remoued from men , to the ende that so the thousand inconueniences , calamities , hurts , & mischances might be auoided , which the same vile and moste execrable game bringeth and draweth with it .

I pray thee , thou Dice player , tell me one thing truly , as often and when sooner thou hearest thy selfe called by that abhominable name , doest thou not blushe ? or if thou knowest not what it is to blush , ( for blushing is a signe of grace ) doest thou not waxe pale and wanne ?

Trust me , I had rather farre be called a drunkard , then either a whoremonger , or a Dice player .

For to be drunken now and then Euery man flatters him selfe in hi● sinne . is a point of Phisicke bicause ( as a Prusian Doctor writeth ) by wine the strengh of the body is nourished and encreased , the courage quickened , the magnanimitie exercised , the bloud & naturall heate conserued , the debilytie or weaknesse of the stomacke comforted , the appetite caused , the vryne prouoked , and besides all the rest , it is a souereigne remedie against venyms and poysons hurting by coldenesse .

Also euen as Whoredome & Diceplaying are accompanied euer more with grife , sorrow , vexation , and anguish , so to the contrarie , wine drinking , carieth with it delyght to the heart ( saith Salomon ) driuing awaye sadnesse , and clearing the darknesse of the minde , and is a very ready help against al cares & solicitudes , for it carieth with it ( saith Horace ) rest & sleepe : calling it forgetfull ( an Epithete very proper vnto it ) bycause it causeth forgetfulnesse of all wrath and dolour .

Therefore to be shorte considering the greate commoditye that commeth by Drinking , and the exceeding discommoditye by Whooredome and Dice playing , I conclude , that it can not bee , but that by obseruing the lawes and institution of our deceased Fathers Will , my Brother the Whoremonger , or both of them , as the Dice player , or both of them , as the most vicious and wicked , shall bee condemned , and I by your vpright and vnpartiall Iudgment , adiudged wheritour of the succession , for which presently wee contende , and so I ende .

¶ This beeing saide , the Drunkard gaue place , and his Brother the Whoremonger proceeded in answearing him as followeth .

RIghte honourable , Aesope in one of his Fables no lesse eligant and delighfull , then full of good Doctrine , and erudition , maketh mention of certayn men , carying by Sackes or Wallets , vppon theire shoulders , who in the Bagge that hanges before them , vse to putte all the little faultes and small crymes of other men , and in that beehynde theire backes their owne great and horrible ones , thereby giuing vs no lesse truelye then pleasauntly to vnderstande that we willingly watch and carefullye take heede to the imperfections and faultes of our neighboures , as men by an naturall ill happe couered ouer with clere seeing eyes , much lyke vnto Argus & Linx : but to see , searche oute , and vnderstande our owne faultes and offences we bee as blinde as Beetles , and sleepy as Moles . The whiche with infinite other wee haue this daye especially and manifestlye perceyued in oure Brother the Drunkarde , who more then assotted and blinded in hys owne doinges , but moste subtile and watchfull in ours , casting his eyes vpon our small biles , neyther seeth nor fauoureth his owne moste daungerous fistoles and deepe scarres , and so abused in himselfe declayming agaynst vs twain his bretheren , & such like whormongers , and diceplaiers , as wee bee , hath not only maintained drunkennes by certaine small examples , touching the vertue of Wyne to deserue as it were excuse and pardon , but also in a manner to be desyred as a thing praise worthy . But wee will not any wayes hide or keepe secrete our vice , but frely & plainlye we confesse whordome , and Diceplaying to be two thinges very vicious and infamous , marrye yet not so muche as dronkennesse : the whiche we will sustaine and playnly approue , by inuincible examples & argumentes . Beseeching you , as you haue attentiuely heard our brother to complayne agaynst vs , so with willing affection you will doe the like on oure syde : to the ende that if in defaming and quibbing other , he hath taken pleasure , hee in hearkening and feling the like , may be set beside his Cushions . Now to the ende , that by this we may begin , I saye , that man is not made and composed of soule onely , nor of body onlye , but of both of them together , & therfore for that cause hee entertayneth and preserueth by great care and diligence the good disposition and integritie of them both . As touching the soule , hee indeauoureth himselfe with all his force , to conserue it in the giftes of grace , diuinely bestowed vppon it , whiche are the vertues : among the whiche , Prudence firste and principally glistereth , as the Sunne among the Starres , and touching the body he giueth no lesse heede and care to keepe & preserue it in the gifts of nature , as in strength , agillity , dexterity , helth , & such like , & although both these gifts be so precious and inestimable , only that first ( to wit of that soule , especially prudence , which is the onelye art of life , without which it is impossible for any to guide himself by reason ) yet notwithstanding al this , they be spoild & vtterly ouerthrown by drunkennes , For saith Plautus , Dronkennesse is no oth●r thing , then a meere and manifest hurt , neyther doeth it drawe after it ( sayth the prophet Abacuc ) other then defame and beggerye . Besydes , it is a thing greatly to be noted , that all such as are giuen to wine , howe excellente and perfecte workeman soeuer they bee in anye Arte or Science , they neuer wax rich , sayth Salomon .

Doeth not Dronkennesse depryue man of vnderstanding ? doeth it not make him to becomme as one madde , and frentike , doth it not spoyle him of his brayne , banishing both reason and prudence from him , doeth it not steale awaye health , and ingender prodigalitie , and consume honoure , it hath shame of nothing , it expulseth vertue it wasteth renowne , it shiuereth Iudgement , and blindeth the minde , In considering of whiche , I cannot but greatlye maruell at the diligence and sagacitye of our forefathers , who no lesse learnedlye then wittilye , did tearme Wine by the name of T●ema , that is to saye , holding or tempting the thoughte : and by consequente haue also named Dronkennesse Temulenes , names no doubt very apt and proper , for the liuely expressing of the effect of wine taken aboue measure . For Dronkennes tosseth & tourneth the minde & thought of man here & ther , casting it at pleasure , like a ship vpon the wallowing waues ,

O what vice more infamous and vnhonest can happen vnto man then dronkennesse , the which ( after the opinion of Ennus Seneca , that dedly enimie to all vices ) is a meere madnesse and voluntarie incensement . Is there any thing more villanous , or more neere to bestialitie , then for a man voluntarily & of will to throwe & alienate himselfe from himselfe , that is to say , from his vnderstanding and power , & to become without iudgement & reason , like vnto a childe of a yeare old ? which thing the drunkarde doth ordinarily and of vse , for so soone as the wine or strong drinke excessiuely taken spread in the body , beginneth once to waxe hot and to boile , then euen as soone doth it beat downe and cast vnder feete , the vigor or vertue of the minde , rauishinge & bereauing man of courage and spirit , and that in such wise as he hath no vnderstanding or knowledge what he doth .

●rust me it is the greatest iniurie that to a man may be done , to reproue him of a wil to haue pleasure in foolish madnesse , and to saye that of himselfe he is such a one : for so much as it is the propertie of a man to seeme prudent and to haue his wit and vnderstanding at will , of which , dronkennesse is the onely decay and ruine . Wherfore not without cause hath Androcides sayde verye wisely that euen as the hemlocke is a venime & poyson vnto a man , so is wine vnto the hemlocke , signifiyng thereby , and giuing to vnderstand , that wine is vnto man , a venime of venimes , or poyson of poysons . And truely if wee haue good consideration of the words and effect , venime is rightly no other , then a dimunitiue of wine , forsomuch as of it , more then of any other venime , proceedeth greatest euils & daungers , For who knoweth not that the superfluitie and intemperature of Wine , ingendereth infinite euils & inconueniences , to the preiudice and hurte of mans health , as well inwardlye as outwardly ? From whence commeth these swimmings of the brayne , these head akes , this continual heauines to sleepe , this grife of stomack , these fiery eyes , this weaknesse of sight , this stifnes of sinowes , this palsey , these stinking breths , these hot burning agues , these vlcers in the legs , & thousand other such like , saue onely of dronkennes ? which also maketh a mans going stumbling , staggering , & vncertein . For sayth Plautus , wine is a wily wrastler , & it first gets victory ouer the legs , To be short , of dronkennes commeth innumerable sorts and kindes of sickenesses , and oftentimes intested death .

For which cause Dronkennesse is rightly called the nursse or Mother of diseases , and therefore so soone as anye one is fallen into anye sickenesse or disease , the Phisition the first thing that he doth , forbiddeth the patient to drinke wine , as the onelye roote and nourishment of sickenesse . Which thing Cicero approueth in his third booke of the nature of Gods , bicause that wine ( saith he ) hurteth the sicke very oft ( yea very rare and seldome doeth it good to the healthfull ) therefore is it much better to giue than none at all , then any at all . For feare least vnder a dowbtfull and vncerteine hope of giuing them health , ye giue them death , or some other certaine and assured greife or inconuenience ? Beside that which dangerous accidents , infamies and aboue named miseries , the dronkard neuer makes an ende , vntill he hath prodigally spent all his goods and substance vpon the lycorous delicious wine , esteeming and waying it farre more deere and precious then golde , siluer , or other mettall , and with farre greater pleasure and delectation he beeholdeth it , then hee doth either the Sunne , Moone , or other glorious parts of the Heauens .

Yea , finally ( as it is dayly to be sene ) without neede of other examples , Dronkennesse being euermore attended and wayted one by griefe and sorrow , goeth infamously and shamefully to yeeld vp it selfe all naked , saith Salamon , into the handes and armes of his deere beloued companion , beggerie , with whom he euer afterwards remayneth , as estraunged , and voyde from good fame and honour , for which causes , euen in these daies , if any one offend vs , if we be disposed to vexe and touche him as it were to the quicke , we presently call him drunkard .

And not onely in these our daies , but of antiquitye , men haue vsed to reproue men , by the detestable name . Achilles beeing moued very wrathfully , with Agamemnon in Homer , coulde not deuise a more iniurious and bitinger name , by whiche he myghte shame and vexe him , then to call him Oenobares , a Greeke worde , which is as much to say , as taken or ouercome with wine .

The mother of Saint Augustine hauing ben reproued and quibbed by the same worde at the handes of hir handmaide , toke the same so grieuously , that she neuer after would drinke any other then fayre water .

Besides , consider how many murthers , and vnnatural slaughters haue bene committed and perpetrated ( yea oftentimes on their owne naturall parents and kinsfolk ) by those of god Baccus his hand .

Wine ( sayth Esdras ) as a seductor and ouerthrower of vnderstandinge , causeth dronkards , to runne to weapones , and with them to kill one another , of which deed , afterwards when they are become sober and haue slept , they haue no more remembraunce then beastes .

That mightie Alexander , did hee not beeing drunken , kill euen at his table , that faithfull frinde and wise counseller of his , Clitus ? did hee not as much also vnto his vertuous Philosopher Calisthenes , and to other his familiar and household acquaintance ?

For whom after that hee became againe sober , he so mourned and lamented their deaths , that he bitterly wept and wished to be dead himselfe .

Who is ignorant of the great slaughters , ruines & calamities that dronkennesse hath caused ?

By it , the most warlike and puissant nations that euer were , haue bene throwne and rendered into the hands of their enimies : it hath submitted the most proude and arrogant vnder the yoke of others , it hath ouercome and vanquished those , which at armes haue bene inuincible : it was the onely ouerthrowe of the Lapithes , a people of Thessaly , & most mightie warriours . By it , the Siracusians fell into the handes of Marcel , and vnder the power of that Romaines . By it that horrible Massagetes were ouercome by that Persians . By it , the pride of Babilon , came vnto the lot of king Cyrus . By it , the so famous & renowned citie Troy was finally brent & sackt in one only night by a small company of Greeks , for they founde them ( vsinge the selfe same wordes of Virgil , buryed in wine and sleepe .

Drunkennesse inflamed the kinge Cambisus , vnto the murtheringe and killing of his good and faithfull counseller paraxa●pes , bicause that he told him of his drunkennesse .

Likewise the most valiaunt Kinge philip of Macedon , beeing in Wine , by iudgement , reuerted the ryght cause of a poore widowe : which widow perceiuing him to be drunken , with a free and bold voice , sayde vnto him : in crying , I appeale vnto thy selfe , I when thou art become sober .

Also drunkennesse caused the cruell and monstrous Ciclops , poliphemus to lose his only eye by the hands of Vlisses , whome the same monster helde prisoner with other Greekes in caue .

Besides , right honourable , to the ende , that there may not remayne within your breasts one scruple or dramme of doubt , but that you may haue great reason on your sides to adiudge our brother the drunkarde the moste vile and vicious , and so by consequence to loose the inheritaunce of our Father , we are determined ( following the example of our brother , who helped himselfe with the opinyons and sentences of the best learned Aucthoures that hee coulde fynde , to alleage the lyke , for the iustice of our cause , and sette foorth the authorities and opinyons also of the best and moste approoued , that of Drunkennesse haue written and intreated . A thing to wright , no lesse fruitefull and profytable , then vnto the eares of the wyse , learned , pleasaunte , and delightfull .

The Lacedemonians , who were so notablye well instructed in all vertue and modestye of life , by the lawes of Licurgus , neuer knew sayth Xenophon , what Wine was : as men drinking none , or if they drunke anye , it was with so much water , as it tasted nothing of wyne .

For the same worthy Lawmaker , moste straightlye for badde superfluous drinking and bibbing , vppon greate paines and punishments , as a vice , saith he , that doth both infect the health , the iolitie of the bodye , the nobilitie and integritie of the minde .

And yet notwithstanding he somtimes permitted them to drinke , but alwaies vnder subiection of drinking very little and soberly .

Plutarch in his Apothegmes maketh mencion that the same Lacedemonians , fearing least their children shoulde run into the vice or sin of drunkennesse , the better to estraunge & driue them from it , they caused oftentimes their seruants , ( or as others say ) porters or such kinde of men as vsed to be drunk , to be brought before them , to the ende , that their children seeing the beastly behauiour and filthy fashions of those drunkardes , might haue the same vice in perpetuall horrour and abhomination .

The Persians aunciently ( beeinge a warlike people ) vsed to drinke no wine , but ( saith Xenophon ) their onely drinke was altogether pure water . Whose childeren sayth the same author , when they trauailed abrode , vsed ordinarily to carrye with them cuppes and pottes of earth , to drinke water in by the way , alwayes when they were thirstie , thinkinge ( as no doubt it is ) that to drinke when thirst enforceth , and that onely pure water , was no lesse profitable & healthfull , then pleasant & delightfull , and that they did to auoid wine , wheroff by that meanes they had no desire or care .

The Aegyptians , they had of olde a certaine measure which was verye little , the quantitie whereoff they durst not exceede , when or whersoeuer they were drinking of wine .

Plato , Aristotle , Eusebius , and Galen , doe greatly commend and praise the Carthaginians law , by which it is denied to any whatsoeuer he bee , during the time that they bee in campe , or in siege , or in that affayres of warre , to drinke any wine at al , but altogether do absteine from it , drinking all the time no other then faire water , as beeing of opinion , that by Wine men are made effeminate , and doe become ouer delicate and dayntye to beare anye labour or trauayle , and also that it doeth hinder and hurt as well the head Captayne , as the souldyer , of that care , studie , policie , and diligence whiche they oughte to haue agaynste theire ennimies .

Which consideration it should seeme did make the aunciente Captaynes , men of war , and Legionaries of Rome , being most worthy and valyaunt warriours , to be sober in drinke : in suche wise as it is written of the Noble captayne , Lucius Papirius Dictator , that beeing readye to giue battayle to the Samnites , hee made a solemne vowe that if hee obtayned victory ouer them , hee woulde drinke a Cup full of wyne to Iupiter , as who shoulde saye , that to doe so , it is a maruaylous straunge thing .

Cato likewise , whom thou O drunkarde , diddest often bringe in for thy purpose agaynste vs , returning victoriouslye from Spayne , enuyroned with manye notable spoyles , accoumted it a great praise and glory vnto him that during the whole voiage and expedition which he had made vnto the same country by Sea , he had drunk no other drinke then the same of the common marriners .

Caesar in his Commentaries rehearseth that the Sweaues and Almaines , a nation very warly , & the Neomans , at this day called Tourulsians , in old time neuer suffered wine to bee brought into their countries , bicause they thought that thereby the bodyes of men would be made feeble and vnapt to endure labour and sweat , and that the vertue & vigor of their mindes and braines , did therby wax weake ▪ their courages saint , and their hearts and strength towardly

Which though Homer went about to approue when he introduced that honour of knighthoode , the most valiant Hector , who apperilling himselfe to passe out of Troy in battaile against the Greekes , sayde thus vnto Queene Hecuba his deere mother , let no wine be brought vnto me : to the end ( after the intense of that diuine Poet ) that it might not weaken or make him forget his accustomed force and vertue .

In following of whiche opinyon , Archidamus , a moste famous prince of the Lacedemonians sayd vnto suche as promised him sweet & delicate wine : To what end , seing that the more wee drinke of it , the more it maketh vayne of no force , the thinges appertaining to worthy valient men ? a refusall & sentence , no doubt worthye the mouth of a Spartaine Prince , Plutarche in the Apothegmes aforenamed rehearseth that Crates , & Thebane Philosopher , & disciple vnto Diogenes , Cinike was gretly angry & vexed with Demetrius Falerean Duke of Athens , because he had sent him wine , which was nothing seruiceable vnto a man desirous of wisedome , and knowledge said he , whose modestye & sobriety , he being sent ambassador by that Thebanes vnto this Demetrius Falerean , whom others named Poliocretes , so much preuailed as the same Athenian Emperoure , seduced thereby raised his Campe from before Thebes which he then beseeged , vnto certayne other that enquired wherfore the Lacedemons so refraind & abstained from wyne , drinking scarce any : ( the Prince Cleomines son to Anaxandrides , aunswered ) to the end that others shoulde not bee troubled in counsayling of vs , but rather wee others ▪ Signifying by this wise & laconicall answere , with sharpenesse and sagacitie , men being ouercome & laden with wine , are not apte nor capable to counsayle well and wisely : but to the contrary sobriety is that only course and head spring of laudable enterpryses , good counsayles & their executions for it is alwayes accompanied with prudence , diligence , & honesty , as to the contrary . Ebrietie or drunkennesse is neuer without folly , sloth , & filthines , for so muche as there is nothing in this world more vnmeete for a man , then the same vice , contrary to al vertue , & therfore for that occasion the Lacedemons , had it in such horror & execration , as only vnto strangers at their feasts & collasions they gaue none but the hardest wine with Biscuit . It is also written that Romulus beeing at a sumptuous feast , was asked why he had drunke so littel : bicause , sayde he , to morrow it behoues me to talke on matters of great importaunce .

Also it is not without cause that the good modest Emperour , Marke Anthonie ( whose historie Herodian begins ) drawing neere his ende , was in a meruailous great care and pensiuenesse . Least that his son Commodus ( which very young should succeed him ) should giue himselfe to ryot and drunkennesse .

It commeth now to my memorye that my brother the drunkard alledged that he neuer heard of any law or statute that condempned the drunkard to death , but if he had turned the lease ( as it was saide vnto the Nunne that reade but halfe the Sentence and leaft the other halfe vnreade for want of turning ouer the leafe ) to reade a littel farther , he had found the contrary , for onely Romulus by himselfe heeretoofore mencioned , did expresly ordeine by his thirteene lawe , that all women drinking wyne , should be punisht with death , like to the adulterer , the which lawe or the like , long time before the building of Rome , was made and obserued , generally through oute all Italy : where women whollye abstayned from drinking of wyne , for feare least they being ouercome therewith , shoulde fall into shame and dishonour , they being forbidden the same , vpon payne of death , with whiche they were punished without excuse , or exception of person , whensoeuer it was prooued that they had offended : The author of whiche is Denis in his antiquities .

The which law or custome ( as Bawdoen , the Iurisconsull in his commentaries aforesayd , vpon the Romulan Lawes affyrmeth ) in Latiae a Region of Italy , was executed onelye vppon the queene Fawna or Fatua , Daughter to Pic of the Latins , and Sister and wife to Fanus , the king of the most ancient Aborigenes , which queene hauing against the decencye of royall dignitye drunke so muche Wyne as made her drunken ( was whipped to death with willow rods by the onlye hands of the king her husband in such great detestation they had Drunkennesse there , and to the contrary , sobrietie in Estimation .

Likewise the wife of the Mecenian Egnacius ( as Valerius reheareeth in his commentaries ) was slayne by hir husband with whippes or wands in the caue or seller hard by the Uessell , oute of the which she had drawne the Wine that made her dronken .

For whose slaghter Egnacius not only remayned vntouched or reprooued , but also he was for the same highlye commended and praysed by Romulus , for it was his aduise and counsell that the sayd woman had iustlye suffered herre punishmente , for breaking and vyolating the bandes of sobrietie , notwithstanding the forbidding of his lawes .

In the Annualles of Fabius Pictuer , I read of a certaine widdow that was forced by her neere parentes and kinsfolke to sterue for lack of meate ( in following the same law ) because onlye she had opened the cubburd priuilye wherein the keys of the wineseller were .

Solon in his lawes affirmeth , that Prince to bee worthy of death which is approued to bee giuen to drunkennesse , or much drinking of wine .

Pittacus of Mittelene establyshed greiuous punishments against the dronkard .

Aeneas Domicius depriued his wife of hir dowry bycause that vnknowne to him she had dronke wine .

For the same cause the auncient Romaines following the institution of Marcus Cato ( as himselfe witnesseth , & Tertulian repeteth in the Apologitica ) vsed alwayes , and as of coustome , to kisse their frends & kinswomen oftentimes , for no other occasion , saue onely to knowe if they smelt of wine , or not , to the ende , that if they were thereby taken in fault , they myght without fauour bee punished .

And no doubt to speake vprightly , all women ouermuch giuen to drinke , little regarding sobrietie , easily and lightly doe leaue that reine of continencie to follow & prostrate themselues to all vicious thinges . Furthermore , the lawe whereof we haue spoken before ( made by Romulus , which lawe hee himselfe kept and obserued ) hath not only ben kept & mainteined in Rome and Italy , but also in Greece , as Xenophon sheweth in the sayd commentaries .

To which lawe agreeing Zeleucus ( of whome our brother also hath much vaunted him ) among many other excellent lawes that he made vnto the Locrians , ordeyned & established that whosoeuer drunke anye wine without permission of the Phisition , should suffer death , wherof Atheneus & Elian are authors . Moreouer the graue Romaine Censor sayth , that if any woman doeth committe a vile or filthy offence , as drinking of Wine , she shall be punished sharply by hir husband .

And surelye this laudable ▪ reason that women shoulde not drinke wine vnlesse their husbands license them , remained and stoode in effect and force a long time , among the best and most famous familyes or houses in Italy .

But passing from these prophane examples , I will a little enter among those of the sacred and holy Scriptures .

The most mightie , iust , and mercifull God , creator of all things , speakinge vnto his Minister of holye thinges , sayde : When thou enterest into the witnesse of the Tabernacle , thou , nor thy children shall drinke any wine , nor other thing whatsoeuer that maye make you drunken , leaste that you dye the death .

In an other place by the same diuine voyce this warning is expreslye repeated to all , ministring in his temple , in the which besides wine ther is also comprised by these expresse words , Ale and Cider : by which words ( Ale and Cider , ) the Hebrewes vnderstand and signifie all sorts and manners of drinke , by which a man may be made dronken .

And the sayde interdiction was made to the ende that they might attende and watche more holylye and warely about the diuine Ministrie : which thing they had not done , neither could haue done , had they bene ouercharged or laden with wine , the onely corruption and marring of the minde and thought , the deuertor and neglector of true worship , and the very bate or pricke of dissolution and intemperance .

For which cause the auncient Priests of Aegypt abstained wholly from wine , all the time of their sacrifices , euen from the beginning of them , vnto the ende .

That vessell of election , and most faithfull preacher of the truth Saint Paul , condempning dronkennesse , willed and ordeined ( writing vnto Timothie the firste Epistle ) that among other things the Bishop should be sober , and not giuen to wine , Whereoff the decrees make mention , in the place conteining these wordes : Then Apostle condempneth the Priest giuen to wine .

And therfore his disciple Timothie dranke nothing but water , as his writing vnto him witnesseth , where he saith , let not thy drinke heereafter bee water , but for the health of thy stomacke , and the sickenesse , with which thou art often troubled , vse a lyttle wine . Also in the first Epistle to the Corinthians , the same most Christian Doctor saith , that dronkards shal not inherite the kingdome of Heauen .

For which cause Saint Hierome forbiddeth in a manner the whole vse of wine vnto Priests & Churchmen , writing and commaunding vnto his Neuew Nepotion , in this sort : Beware ( saith he ) that thy breath doth not smell at any time of Wine , for feare least approching nere any one , thou hearest this saying of the Philopher pronounced against thee : this is no kisse that thou presentest , but Wine , the sente of whiche , issuing out of thy mouthe , yeeldeth a most filthy smell .

The same holy man also forbiddeth by expresse woords , all Christian Uirgines , the vse of drinkinge Wine , commaunding them to eschew and abhorre it , as venime or poison .

The Esseans a people of Iudea , whose sect for their vertues haue ben so highly estemed by Saint Hierome , Philō , Iosephus , Eusebius , Plinie , and porphine , dronke no wine at all .

Was it not prophecied of that Prophet , and more then a Prophet , Saint Iohn Baptist , that he should not drinke strong drinke , to the ende that he might choose the good and leaue the euill ? an argument most plaine & euident that wine and strong drinke corrupteth & peruerteth iudgment and reason : and that a man ouercome therewith in steede of taking and choosing veritie and vertue , taketh & chooseth falshoode and vice .

Salomon was of opinion that vnto a king it was good to minister neither wine nor stronge drinke , to the ende that he thereby might iudge the causes of the poore , with a more iust and sound reason .

Cursed be he saith the Prophet , that riseth early to make himselfe dronken .

We reade in Genesis , that dronkennesse was the onely cause that Lot that godly man , committed execrable incest with his daughters , who els by noe meanes coulde haue drawne him to such an abhomination .

After the Deluge , as it is written in Genesis , as Noe first planted the Uine , first made wine and first dronk thereoff : so also he was the first that was made drunke therewith : whereby we may gather , that if wine was nothing fauourrable to him that first made it , what fauor should any other hope to finde in it saue the like .

Thus by sundry agitations and diuers troubles arising by excesse of wine and strong drinke , the thoughts of men are diuersly tossed and moued ▪ some become madde and furious , full of noise , quarrels , and iniuries : others idle rash and carelesse , of all manner of worke and businesse , some raylors , and gybing Iesters : some vyle and vicious talkers : some merrye withoute modestye : some wrathfull withoute vertue or honestye . For wyne in force and efficacie is like vnto blacke Cholar , that is to say , of dyuers and variable effects , and of many sorts and manners : which thing one of the probleme ●octors of the most noble Philosopher Aristotle declareth , beeing as it seemeth , borrowed by Horace , thus wryting .

Be it that Wine bringeth ioy and delight , Be it that it drawes vs with ease vnto sleepe : Be it that of it commeth hate , furye ▪ and strife , Be it that foolishe loue therein nousleth deepe .

Whiche thing an other Poet also approueth writing of Bacchus , as followeth .

Before thy pompous seat , Where thou triumphing sits : Their goeth an armie great , of such as marre mens wits . There marcheth wrath and ire , lewde talke ●ake and disdaine : with discord ▪ sloth , and fire of furie , grife , and paine .

Of lyke opinion is that Scythian Anacharsis , for he saith that the Uine beareth three sortes of grapes , the first of pleasure , the seconde of drunkennesse , and the thirde of wrath and vyolence .

The lyke speache in manner hath bene vsed by Aesope ▪ howbeit that others say it came from the foresayde Anacharsis , but be it whosoeuer ye will , it is certainly the woordes and sentence of a man both prudent and wise & these they be : The firste Glasse of Wine , belongeth to thyrste , the seconde to delyghte , the thirde to pleasure , and the fourth to furye or frensie . If then the fourth glasse of wine being dronke , doe make menne become madde and furious , what will become of them , that glowse and carowse , downe their throats , thirtie or fortie at a time ? trust me not onely madde but most beastly and brutishlye mad , as : menne transported and alienated whollye from their right sence and vnderstanding .

For most certaine it is , that the more such drunkards doe drinke , the more desirous of drinke they be , wherby their follye and ma●nsse doth the more increase .

And sure this alteration and hot desire of wine is no otherwise ingendred then by the vicious and excessiue vse of drinking : vnto which they be so outragiously giuen , that it seemeth rightly , that such men ( if it bee lawfull for me to call them men ) are not borne , but onely to deuoure , and glowse , or glut vp wine .

Among which number , Nouelie a Millannon deserueth to bee put , who beeing a Consull during the time of Tiberius Cesar , and hauing droncke three Congies of Wine at one meale , ( which Congie was a vessell aunciently conteining sixe Septiers , ) had no shame to cause himselfe to bee called and surnamed Tricongiarie , seeking to acquire renowne and fame , by a most vile , fylthie , and infamous vice .

But if dronkennesse bee so muche the more to bee blamed and abhorred by howe muche the more the partie or personage whiche is infected and noted therewith is raysed to honour & dignitie , with what worthy note shall wee make the infamous Bonosus , that dronken Emperoure of Rome . Of whom Aurelian was wont to say , Bonosus is not born to liue , but to drink . Whose death was as honeste as his lyfe , for being vanquished by the Consull Probus , hee ended his dayes with an halter : of whome being hanged vp in the ayre , this Prouerbe went . This is no man that hangeth , but an Hogsheade : onelye because he had during his lyfe , Tonned vp as it were whole hogsheades full of Wyne with in his belly , for which cause hee deserued perpetuall infamie .

Where to the contrarye , the moste vertuous Alphonsus King of Naples is worthy of eternall prayse and glory , for his being ( among many other excellent vertues ▪ to the example of al famous Princes ) very sober in drinking , for he neuer did drinke any wine , but hee had three partes of water mingled with it , whiche argueth greate generositie in the said Prince : for the right noble man which esteemeth of honour , will aboue all thinges haue dronkennesse in horror , as a vice most brutishe , vile , and infamous , the abhomination & filthinesse whereof , is impossible to be deciphered and also the euilles and inconueniences that comes thereof .

Because the Drunkarde is vnwise , ( sayth the most sapient Salomon ) and hath no honoure nor prudence in him , I am determined to alienate my selfe and abstayne from Wine : forbidding and warning vs ( as the Apostle also doth ) not to be like vnto them , whiche therevnto bee inclyned and giuen , neyther to bee assistaunt at theire tables , nor at the meales or banquets of tumulous dronkardes : for so muche as of dronkennesse springeth dissentions , quarrels , hates , rancours , and moste often , murthers , and slaughters .

Yea , it is the deathe of Uertue : it is the forgetfulnesse and misknowledge of all honeste duetye , for in it , ( sayth the Mother of King Lamuell ) is no secrecie , but it vttereth all thinges , for the tongue of a Dronkarde cannot bee healde , it also commaundeth the wyse as well as the foolishe , the learned as well as the vnlearned , and thereof commeth , Follye , Furye , Presumption , and pryde .

Also the reason why Denis ( commonlye called Bacchus ) after the Ethnicks , the fyrste inuentoure of Wyne , is pictured or paynted with Hornes vppon his heade , is not because the same goodlye God of dronkardes , didde fyrste couple Oxen togither , as Diodorus beleeueth , but bicause that only by his inuention , that is to saye , of Wine , and the outragious vse thereoff , menne become horned , that is to say , furious , and easilye moued to excesse and rash insolence .

For onely the moste poore and wretchedest abiecte that is , if hee bee once ouercome with wine , hee then as forgetfull of his calling and qualitie , taketh hornes vpon him , sayth the Poet , that is , hee rayseth himselfe vp in all fiercenesse and presumption , euen vnto the disdayning of the most noble and mighty , and like vnto Aesopes Crane , he compareth himselfe with his superiours and betters .

Also the same is to be seene in the most ignoraunt , sottish , and vnlearned , for beeing once vppon his Hornes , you shall presently heare him , bee it righte or wrong , vppon his Ergoes , philosophying agaynst Plato and Aristotle : or so encherubind , he will dispute obstinately on some other Art or Science , againste the best learned and moste experimented menne that are in the world .

Yea , onlye the moste wicked and infamous , if he be once dronken , he will boldlye intermeddle himselfe with the most honorable , and stande vppon his slippers against the honestest man that is .

For which occasion the Scithians wisely and wittily quibbing and reprouing the Greekes Orges and Bacchanales , ( which were wont to celebrate the Feaste of their dronken God Baccus , by excesse drinking of wine , in playing on Tabors , Timpanies , & such like dissolate dronkennes ) denied and disavowed that a God should be an inuentor of so pernicious and hatefull a thing ( speaking of wine ) seeing that men thereby become furious and frenticke .

Also Diogenes called such feasts and banquets as they celebrated to Baccus in Athens , the myracles of fooles .

And pallingenius following the same ( in mocking also the Thebans , who gloried that Baccus was brone in Thebes , but Indie denyeth it , ) cryed out : O you offspring of Cadmus , why vaunt you of youre Orges and Bacchanales ? Youre frenticke friskes and madde Daunces ? youre Bacchus is no God , neyther did Semel conceyue him of Iupiter , but rather the blacke and furious Tartar , begate him on the moste cruell and horrible Furie , Megara . No , no , he is no God : for he himselfe is the disdayner and hater of the Gods , and neuer can a dronken sacrificer , order the vse of a Sacrafice orderly .

But who can rehearse the thousand thousand parte of the euilles , and inconueniences that proceede of this redde nosed God , for ( sayth Salomon ) to whome , happens care , dolour , ill hap , strife , wounds , wante of sighte , trouble of minde , and such like , saue onelye vnto those that haunte the Wyne Tauerne , and that studie and take delight to empty the pots .

Beware ( sayeth he ) howe thou takest pleasure in beholding the Wyne sparckle or sprinckle in the Cuppe , or desire to taste & drinke it afterwardes morely corouslye or wantonlye , for besides that wee of oure selues , are too much inclined and readye thereto , the nature thereoff , is at the beginning so agreeable and well liking , as it slides downe mens throates with great sweetenesse and pleasure , but the tayle thereoff poysoneth and venometh much lyke the Serpent , in such manner that almoste by the vertue onlye of the hot sparckles that proceedeth thereof , ( much lyke to the Basilickes eyes , it beateth downe , ouercomes and casteth him that vseth it , into all opprobrious ignomy .

Thou therefore , that dwellest altogether with the Wine ( sayth the wise manne ) arte like vnto him whiche during the greatest storme , & rainiest part of a tempest , sleepeth in the top of the ships Maste , and is so tossed and tumbled on the wallowing waues and surging billowes of the raging Seas , as he is in iminent daunger of drowning .

The lyke whereoff , Homer in his Odisses rehearsed , happened vnto Elphe●●or , who hauing dronke himselfe dronken , brake his necke going downe a high hill neere vnto the Pallaice of Circes , in following of Vlisses and his fellowe Grecians , whiche already were discended and nie embarked . Whiche thing himselfe afterwardes confessed for shorte tyme after , the same King of Ithaca fynding him in Hel , asked the cause of his comming thither , to whiche Elphenor aunswered , the Wyne whiche I dranke so excessiuelye whiles I lyued , did slay mee .

The same also , beguiling the strengthe of Holophernes , as it is written in Iudith , was the cause that hee loste his heade , by the hands of that good Matrone , whiche thing had not happened vnto that fearefull and dreaded Gyaunt , had hee reade and followed the saying of the Prophet Esdras , where it is written : Wine is stronger then they that drinke it , for it conuerteth all oure fantasyes into an assured pleasure , it corrupteth iudgment , it maketh the thoughts of men vaine and ridiculous : those of little children , like vnto those of mightie kings : those seruants like vnto those of masters : and those of the poore like vnto those of the rich . For the drunkard knoweth neither what he sayth , nor what he doth : thinketh and dreameth , al his hie thoughts to be honest and lawdable : he maketh no accounte of King or Magistrate : he neuer speaketh but by talentes and thousands : he neuer remembreth or esteameth of freindeshippe or brotherhoode : but to the contrarye , all furyous without occasion , and for a thing of naught he takes his sworde in hand : for strife and contention ( saith Salomon ) is in wine : and euen as fyre approueth the hardnesse of yron , so wine argueth the hearte of the proud , being a biternes to the soule , & ingendreth in man by his excesse : a dispightfull boldnesse & anger to all wrastlings : which thing is the right and peculyar propertie of an incensed foole .

For which occasion wise and discreete men are sufficed with lyttle Wine , considering that against the force and violence thereof one canne resist , be he neuer so wise , graue , strong magnanimious , or of what estate or condition so euer . Thus gentle drunken brother , I haue made playne vnto thee the gallant , courteous , precious gifts , and excellent properties with the honest guerdons , and vertuous recompenses of thy great God Bacchus , whom thou in hearte , adorest , worshippest , and tearest vp to the highest degree of gods .

But to the ende ( righte Honourable Iudges ) that whiles wee render to oure brother the Whoremonger the like assaulte that hee rendered vs , wee appeare not immodest and superfluous wee will sounde a retreate , not denying , but freelye confessing to leaue manye thinges vnconf●●ed , and vnaunswered , whiche our brother alleaged agaynste vs . Howbeit , no harde thing to doe : but wee doe not seeke onelye after that , for so to doe is the part of him that intendeth to iustifie himselfe , and to bee approued and found innocente , touching oure selues , wee meane otherwise , for wee will not hide our faults : neither will we , lyke vnto many other , excuse our selues , or say , we ar blamelesse , for certaine it is , that whooredome and dice playing are both so vile and vitious offences , as they are no lesse domageable then dishonest , and also the name of them are ( as names filthy and infamous ) to be auoided , notwithstanding to the contrary we will maintein & vphold the vice of drankennes to be far more greater : then either the whoormonger or the diceplayer : for as we haue euidently showen before , not onely , honour and good na●e ( the onely treasures of men ) with goods and faculties , are consumed & wasted by dronkennesse , but also the soule , health , and vnderstandinge , and the minde of man is troubled , ●ossed and grieued , & hurt thereby , euen vnto the making of him that vseth it , to become more vile then any brute beast , which thing our brother chiefly and especially argued and blamed in vs , as a vice most greatest and most infamous of all other , and for such a one iustly , and with good reson did condemn & reproue it by the authoritie of many famous Philosophers , and worthy authors . Moreouer , besides the same afore rehearsed , whosoeuer will wisely and dilligently aduise & haue regard vnto the original soeuer and first beginning of all vices , & also to the exercise and continuing of them , they shall finde that dronkennesse ought onely to be accused , and adiudged most worthy to beare the burthen & blame as the onely causer , kindler , & mouer , and procurer of men to all villanous iniquitis , and especially to fornication , whooredome and adultery . For wine , sayth Titus Liuius , among many other excellent authors , followeth , draweth , prouoketh , & nourrisheth , the dishonest pleasures and desires of the flesh . The rest concerning the equitie of this present strife ( right honourable ( lyeth in your fidilcie & prudence , vnto which we do commit our cause , beseeching you , if you do see euedently ( as no doubt you doe as cleere as the Sun ) that dronkennesse is the worst or more vile and infamous then whooredome or diceplaying , that you will dismisse our brother the dronkerde of oure fathers succession , for which our presente question is , adiudging the same vnto my brother the diceplayer , and to mee , by your iust and rightfull sentence , at which we conclude . Thus pleaded & concluded the parties , which done , the president arose vp on his feete to aske and require the aduice and opinions of the Iudges assistant . During whose counsell manye learned men and other of sundry estates and qualities there s present assembled , ( who had heard and vnderstood the difference ) murmuring and muttering with softe voyce , talked and vttered their aduises , euery one according to his fantasy : beeing all in a manner of diuers and contrarye opinyons , as naturally and commonlye wee be willingly included and giuen to fauour and excuse or hide our own faults and vices . Some hold with the Dronkard , others with the diceplayer , but the greatest part with the whoremonger , as these here for the one , and those there for the other .

Many sayd , that they were all three as vicious the one as the other , and that it were therefore best and most expedient ( notwithstanding the will of their father ) that each of them did inherite his succession equally . There were others of opinion the sayde , that seing they were all so vicious & euil , that it were therefore good to disherit them al three . To be short , there was no one among them that agreed . The cause peraduenture was , for so much as each of them were perticulerly touched , & infected with one of these three vices , or with two , or possibly with all three togeather . But at last among all the rest , there stoode vp one an auncient graue Gentleman , named Theophilus Equicolus , who after he had made obeisaunce , sayd .

My Lordes , to speak in truth and vprightly , I cannot see nor perceiue , but that this iudgemente is of greate weight and importaunce , and not to be lightly looked vnto and let slip , also I doe not thinke the contrarye , but that these honourable Iudges before they giue a difinite sentence , will haue great consideration theroff , but trust mee they should not be in this care & trouble if one of these bretheren were a couetous person : for such a one should presently be dismissed & put out of the succession ( for which this present contention & question is ) as the most vile , wicked , & infamous : not onely of th●se three , but of all other liuing , by a thousand , thousand reasons , examples , authorities , & inuincible arguments which myght be brought foorth & alledged against him onely among the rest ( for al ) these to witnesses of the Scripture wold suffice : couetousnesse is a seruitude of Idolls , which is the ground of al abhomination & iniquitie : couetousnesse is the roote of al euil : & cheifly , sayd Theophilus , couetousnes is the only poison & pestilence of charitye , without the which saith the Apostle , nothing profiteth , bicause , ( as the same Apostle sayth father ) the charitie is of God , & god is charitie , & charitie is the ground of perfection , & the ende of commaundement , wherfore follow it , & you shal be clothed therewith .

Which opinion of Theophilus , all the assistantes togither with one voyce approued , condemning couetousnesse as the moste wicked and moste pernicious vice that is vppon earth . But fynally , the officers hauing caused sylence to bee made , the same generallye kept , the president being returned from counsell , pronounced his sentence , by the whiche it was ordeyned : that the parties should correct and amend their plea , and giue replyes , and shoulde informe one an other , if it seemed good vnto them , within one month , for all prefixins and delayes , that the same beeing brought agayn vnto the court mighte bee ordered and adiudged according to equity and reason ,

FINIS .

Notes, typically marginal, from the original text

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