Philogamus

Gyue place ye Poetes fine bow doune now & encline For nowe the Muses nyne So Sacred and Diuine In Parnase holy Hyll ●aue wrought theyr worthy wyll ●nd by theyr goodly skyll ●ppon that myghty Mountayne 〈◊〉 Hellycons Fountayne That alwayes doth remayne ●ynce Pegase made it flowe ●s by your bokes we knowe ) Haue washed the lyppes of one That slepte not longe agone That forked Hyll vpon Who after that anon As he had sene the Muses Newe Poetry he vses And yours he cleane refuses . For wakyng sodenly He wrote ryght wortheily Suche kynde of Poetrye As neuer one of you Had hearde or sene tyl nowe He wrote I tel you playne An Antygraphe full mayne None suche on thys syde Spayne Antipus to suppresse And clerly to compesse Wherein he fayneth no lesse But that yf God were dead He myght be raysed in Bread Wherfore ye Poetes al And clarkes bothe greate and smal Submyt your selues ye shal And downe before hym fall And neuer not to ryse For you cowlde not deuyse So greate an interpryse As thys new poet dyd Whose connyng is yet hyd And many other workes That secretly yet lurckes None suche amonge the Turkes Nor Saracens can be founde The Gospellers to confounde . Hys workes are so well bownd And buylded on suche grounde As cannot wel decay Tyl the sande be washed away . He is skylled so wonderously In the scyence of Masonrye . Wherfore I wyl not spare Hys learnyng to declare Although wyth myckle care Because I want the wayes Thys Poete for to prayse And fame vpon hym rayse That floweth in these dayes , Wythe suche exceadynge Eloquence And Superfluous Sapyence Imbute wtyh Insuffycyence Of learnyng and Intellygence Whose wrytynges are laudable So new founde and not able I tell you wythout fable That no man vnder skye Can prayse them worthely They shewe them selues so fayer That none can them appayer And therfore now beholde And see how well he coulde Describe them that are bolde To marry beyng sworne To kepe them chast beforne Makyng theyr vow a scorne And takyng to them wyues , Wyth them to leade theyr lyues But wyth these blooddes he stryues And out of towne them dryues Wyth eloquent taxacions And vyolent vexacyons And earneste exprobracyons Wythe instant insultacions And straunge denomynacyons That none among all nacyons ▪ Can shew suche learned fasshyons As can thys noble scholer He may well weare a coller Of. H. for hys humanitee And for hys greate Urbanytye He may weare vppon hys Bonnet A double . P. well set And wyth a traye aboue In tokenynge of the loue That towarde hym he beareth Whyche men to Chastenes sweareth . Wherfore loke vp and see Yf ye beleue not me Your owne Iudges to be For easely may ye spye Yf ye looke earnestly And well hys latten trye That oute of Barbarye Hys learninge he hath fett And all hys Knowledge gett . For thys I dare well Sweare Here can no suche fyne gear Be had but onely theare , Aduise it well and reade For here it doth succede . O Insensati All marryed preistes that be Nuyti Barbis dispuisati Carnales hedos Uocati Quorum deus venter To the belly they be bound by Indenture Uentri semper obedire Uulueque serui●e Quorum Sathan est Pater Et ●eche●ia Mater Thys Genera Uiperarum Runnes per Orbem Terrarum O God omnipotent Qui regnas et viuis Sende shame and punishement To all Prestes and theyr wyues And let them goo voyde of all grace Et in fernorum supplicia Wyth Lucyfer to haue a Place In sempiterna supplicia .

The Prayse of the Meter . O meter passing measure Prouokinge sporte and pleasure O treatise of hygh treasure So Typycal in fygure None suche from lyn to lygure Lapte vp in suche fyne latyn As passeth both syls and satyn O Homer so Heroicall And Percius Satyricall Where are your workes Poetycal ? O Horace where art thou Uyrgyll and Ouide now And all the rest of you Let se who dare auow One suche a worke to shew No no , ful wel I know Take al you on a rowe Ye cannot do it I trow Not one of you that wrote Suche Satyres wel I wot Yf he your bokes had sene He wolde haue shamed them clene You had no Peers you wene Because wyth lawrel grene Crowned you were by ryght But oure newe Poete myght Be crowned wyth the Uyne And Garland Canabyue For engyne and for wytt The muses dyd admytt Not onely hym to yt But gaue hym so muche grace That yf he vewe the face Of one In any place He maye make hym wyth spede A Poete to procede . The profe therof indede Ful playnly dyd appere Wythin thys halfe yere For one that was a Smytthe A forger at the stytthe A myghtye man of pytthe And stronge of lym and lytthe When he had bene hym wythe And talked but a whyle He wrote so hygh a style As none wythin a myle Coulde fashyon wyth a fyle Wyth al hys wyt and wyle , Wel wel for all ye smyle Certes I tel you treuth A lack yt is greate ruth That men wyl not beleue The gyftes that Muses geue Besyde all thys hys Smythery Uul●anus taught hym certanly Wherwith he wroughe right curyously As ye may se yt euydently Conteyned in the testymony And latter wylle of Heresy . For there He sheweth Poetry Hyghly professyng Romery Lo , now I say therfore Your bokes we nede no more They maye be rent and tore What though ye crye and rore We nede not now your lore For yf thys arte were drownd Agayne it may be found Euen by the very sound Of these new Poetes Tooles They be no smalle fooles , If they be red In scholes You may syt downe on stooles And so to take your rest As I suppose it best . But well ye thyncke I Geyst By cocke for all your lokes You maye claspe vp your bookes And then go kepe the roockes Or els wyth hangle hookes Go fyshe and take some flookes For cleane your cleargy crookes And goeth no more on ryght Synce these beganne to wryght Ye haue no more no might To florysh in theyr syght But thys I wyll you tell The Mason doth excell Wherfore he may full well Aboue all beare the Bell Wherfore wyth all my power I wyll eche daye and hower Aduaunce hys hyghe honour Praiyng these Muses Sacre Wyth Hellicons Lauacre To washe me by theyr ayde To do as I haue saide .

* The prayse of the Poete . O Poete so impudent Whyche neuer yet was studente To thee , the Goddes prudente Minerua is illudente Thou wrytest thynges dyffuse Incongrue ▪ and confuse Obfuscate and obtuse No man the lyke doth vse Among the Turckes or Iewes Alwayes inuentyng newes That are incomparable They be so fyrme and stable Lyke as a Shyppe is able Wythout Ancre and Cable Roother Maste or Sayle Pully Rope or Nayle In Wynde Weather or Hayle To guyde both top and tayle And not the course to fayle So thys our Poet maye Wythout a stopp or staye In cunnynge wend the way Aswel by darke as day And neuer go astray Yf yt be as they say . O Poet rare and Recent Dedecorate / and indecent Insolent and insensate Contendyng and condensate Obtused and obturate O bumbylate , obdurate Sparyng no Prest or Curate Cyuylyan or Rurate That be alredy marryed And from theyr vow bene varyed Wherto the scrypture them caried They myght aswel haue taryed I sweare by the north doore Rood That stowte was whyle he stood That they had bene as good To haue solde theyr best blew hood For I am in suche a moode That for my power and parte Wyth al my wyt and arte Wyth whole intent and harte I wyl so at them Darte That some of them shal farte Before they feele it smarte . Coulde not these bloods be pleased Wyth mens wyues to be eased And in their daughtars seased As wel as the other greased Though thus they had not preased ? In fayth they shal be feased For I set to my hand In fyght wyth them to stand By water and by lande By grauell and by Sande And by the salte sea strond Beholde here is a wand To beate them back and bone I trow a thyng alone To make these gallantes grone And withe our poetes ayde They shal be so dismayde So fearfull and afrayde That downe they shal be layde , As thycke as hoppes and hayle . Nowe wyll I them assayle And threashe them withe my Flayle To marre these married Preistes I fyghte wyth bothe my Fystes Looke on the fraye who Lystes .

⚜ A Latten Clubbe , or Hurle Batte . ☞ OUOS Insensati Et Sathana Nati Satyrique Uocati Barbis Detonsati Loti Leuigati Corollis designati Quo sic effeminati Molles et Parati Sitis , Stupro dati Petulantes Hoedi Turpes et Cinoedi Per quos Pios ledi Ac Insontes Cedi Certo possit Credi Procreantes Hibride Sed Amicti Nebride 〈◊〉 non estis Nupti ●o plus Corrupti ●●tum profitentes Non custodientes ●erum odientes ●●lsumque Dorentes ●●ores non habentes ●as Conquerentes ●●bere abnuentes Intestui cedentes ●upi Existentes ●upam subsequentes Priapo seruientes In Deum statuentes Ipsumque Colentes● Auluas Indegantes Illecebras Amantes Uelut Scortatores Illorum Uxores Filias et Sorores Seruas et Ancillas Seducentes Illas ●apitis Ubique Uiuentes quam oblique Nigri Necromantici Hydri Hydromantici Putridi Piromantici Incantantes Idolatres Publici Pseudolatres Anum Sathanam habe●is Patrem Papa●●que Tene●is Matris Gremioque sedetis Gomor eam Nominetis Cum his Penasque Lueti● Lupinis Uestibus Caudis et Testibus Dediti Incestibus Uiperarum Genus Quorum dea Uenus Infernorum Te●●us Ducet Imperpetuum Ad Ditis Supplicium Id quod ●etet Ille Qui Seruat Millia Mille.

☞ ELQUIDUOS BED ? Lo now how like you thys ? I trowe I dyd you Blisse And them , as woorthy is To dyng tyll they shall Pisse Me thynke I doo not misse Though my Crowne be not scraped Nor I in Order mysshaped Nor for suche woorshyppe gaped Nor anoyted Preyste wyth Oyle Nor Creame or other Soyle Nor tooke suche fylthy Foyle Yet wyll I tugge and Toyle Tosse turne and Turmoyle Cumbre Clowte and Coyle Dismembre and Dispoyle All them that I maye catche That dayly wayte and watche Feacte wenches to vpsnatche And marrye to their Matche But I wyll them dispatche And byggely on them beate For all their wyues so feacte That are so Nyce and Neate Whiche sittyng on their Seate Of Scriptures wyll Intreate And fayne woulde vs defeacte Wyth woordes grymme and greate From Beades of woodde and Geate And from our myghtie Meate That is , our God of wheate Puffe , so I Swelle and Sweate I Fridge I Frothe and Freate Of thys Uncowthe to thynke But suerly shall they Drynke Tyll aboue the grounde they stynke Wyth a Lyrycum Twynke For I can neuer Shrynke As longe as our Uulcanus And lusty Longimanus Wyll sticke whyle he is Sanus For though he be Prophanus He is not nothyng Uanus Nor learned lyke Alanus I tell you he is no Na●u● But one of stature stoute No Lubber nor no Loute He wyll reache rounde aboute And ventyng wyth hys snoute Wyll touche them toppe and towte And all theyr rufflyng towte Wyth Clarckly clubbes to cloute For fyersly hath he fought Endeuouryng to dryue oute The reader in our queare That draweth to hym here Men commyng farre and neare There dyd oure Smythe appeare With countenaunce so cleare Full chaungeable in cheare And dapper as a deare Chefely he dyd hym charge How he had taught at large More then he coulde dyscharge Or fynde in text or Marge Concernyng Consecratyon And Transubstanciation Or all oure Transmutacion And Substaunce Alteracion Deniyng Ueneracion And also Adoration In tyme of Ministration And that Non dentibus Panem Prementibus Nullis Euentibus Christum Gustari Nec Mancipari Posse vel de●ipi Sensus , cum Recipi Dabitur Panis . Sed Smyth , I●●nanis Abiit Inanis But or he wente awaye He trymmed hym I saye Wyth goodly tantes and gaye And wyth a tryggum tray Lyke a fyne Philologus Or rather a Pantolobus He called hym Spermologus ☜ And wold haue a Dialogus But were there a Catalogus Of hym and al hys sect He myght be chef elect These reders to correct For wel can he obiect And Subtelly suspect In thynges that be dyrect But sure yf he be chect Your corrage is deiect And al your hope in vayne Yet styl wyl I remayne To take for you greate payne Yf ye wyl me retayne And put my selfe in parrel To fyght thus in your quarrell Yf thou O Poet once That well canst cowche thy stones Or fab●● wyth hys mall To me for helpe wyll call Either wyth boke or word Soone wyl I be the thyrd So if I fynde you kynde Certes you shal me bynde To shew that is behynd Wel wel ye know my mynde . LO thus Philogamus After thys sorte Helpeth Misogamus Hym to comforte Agaynst Monogamus That dothe reporte That youre Apogamus Is but aborte .

FINIS . QUOD PHYLOGAMUS . Alias . I. What call Ye Hym.