Both men and women that are the very Slaues of sin , will yet stand vpon their credites and reputations , and somtimes putting on the visard of vertue , will seeme to march vnder the Ensigne of Honestie .

Whether will you tend your steppes , which way will you turne your eyes , or to whom will you lend your listing eares but you shall meete with vice , looke vpon vanitie , and heare those speeches , that doe not onely tend to Folly , but sometimes to Ribauldry , other whiles to Blasphemy , & many times to the great dishonor of God .

Will you walke the streetes , there you shall meete with sir Lawrence lack-land , in a Cloake lined through with Veluet , and besides his Dublet , his Hose , his Rapier , his Dagger , not so much but the Spurs that hang ouer his heeles , but they shall be beguilded .

Will you nowe crosse the way a little on the other side , there you shall meete with Sir Henry haue little , so trickt vppe in the spicke and span new fashion , that you would sooner take him to be Proteus the God of Shapes , or some other like Celestiall power , then a vaine Terestiall Foole .

Your eares againe , shall bee so incumbred with the rumbling & rowling of Coaches , and with the Clamours of such as doe follow them , that are still crying out O good my Lady bestow your charitable Almes vpon the Lame , the Blind , the Sicke the diseased , goood my Lady one peny , one halfepeny , for the tender mercy of God we beseech it : but let them call and cry till their tongues do ake , my Lady hath neyther eyes to see , nor eares to heare , shee holdeth on her way , perhaps to the Tyre makers Shoppe , where shee shaketh out her Crownes to bestowe vpon some new fashioned Atire , that if we may say , there be deformitie in Art , vppon such artificall deformed Periwigs , that they were fitter to furnish Theater , or for her that in a Stage play , should represent some Hagge of Hell , then to bee vsed by a Christian woman , or to be worne by any such as doth account her selfe to be a daughter in the heauenly Ierusalem .

I am ashamed nowe to aske you to goe into any of these Drinking houses , where you should as well see the beastly behauiour of Drunkardes , as likewise heare such swearing and blaspheming as you would thinke the whole house to bee dedicated to loathsome sinne , and that hell and Damnation were both together there alreadie resident .

Will you now goe visit the Shop keepers , that are so busie with their What lack you sir , or what is it you would haue bought : & let vs take a good suruey , what the commodities be that they would thus set forth to sale , and we shall find that as Diogenes passing through a Fayre cryed out , O how many things are here to be vented that Nature hath no neede of , so wee may likewise say , O howe many gaudy trifles are here to bee solde , that are good for nothing , but to maintaine pride and vanitie .

If sometimes wee happen to hyt vppon such necessaries , as are ( indeede ) behouefull for the vse of man , let the buyer yet looke to himselfe , that he be not ouerreached by deceit and subtiltie .

Shall we yet make a steppe to Westminster Hall , a little to ouer-look the Lawyers .

My skill is vnable to render due reuerence to the honorable Iudges , according to their worthinesse , but especially at this instant as the Benches are nowe supplyed , neyther would I eclips the honest reputation of a number of learned Lawyers , that are to be held in a reuerent regard , and that are to be honoured and esteemed , yet amongst these there bee a number of others , that doe multiplie sutes and drawe on quarrelles betweene friend and friend , betweene brother & brother , and sometimes betweene the father and the sonne , and amongst these although there bee some , that can make good shift to send their Clients home with penilesse purses , yet there be other some againe , that at the end of the tearme doe complaine themselues that their gettings haue not bin enough to defray their expences , and doe therefore thinke that men are become to be more wise in these dayes , then they haue beene in former ages , and had rather put vppe a wrong , then fee a Lawyer : but I doe not thinke there is any such wisedome in this age , when there are so many wrangling spirits , that are so ready to commence suites , but for a neighbours Goose , that shall but happen to looke ouer a hedge : now what conceipt I haue in the matter , I will partly make manifest , by this insuing circumstance .

As the worthy gentlemen that haue beene Lords Maiors , of the honourable Cittie of London , haue beene generally renowned for their wisedome in gouernment , so they haue beene no lesse famed for their Hospitality and good house-keeping , during the time of their Mairolties .

Amongst the rest there was one , who long sithens being readie to set himselfe downe to his dinner , with his company that were about him , there thronged in on the sodaine a great company of strangers , in that vnreuerent manner , as had not formerly beene accustomed , whereupon one of the officers comming to the L. Maior , sayd vnto him , If it please your Lordship here be too few stooles , Thou lyest Knaue ( answered the Maior ) There are too many guests .

Now I am perswaded that if Lawyers ( indeed ) haue iust cause to complaine of their little gettings , it is not for that there be too few suites , but because there be too many Lawyers , especially of these Aturnies , Soliciters , and such other petty Foggers , whereof there be such abundance , that the one of them can very hardly thriue by the other : And this multitude of them , doe trouble all the partes of Englande . The profession of the Law , I doe acknowledge to be honorable , and ( I thinke ) the study of it should especially belong to the better sort of gentlemen : but our Innes of Court , now ( for the greater part ) are stuffed with the of-spring of Farmers , and with all other sorts of Tradesmen , and these when they haue gotten some few Scrapings of the law , they do sow the seedes of suits , they doe set men at variance , & do seeke for nothing more then to checke the course of Iustice , by their delatory pleas : for the better sort of the learned Lawyers , I doe honour them .

They say it is an argument of a licentious common wealth , where Phisitians and Lawyers haue too great comminges in , but it is the surfeits of peace that bringeth in the Phisitians gaine , yet in him there is some dispatch of businesse , for if he cannot speedily cure you , he will yet quickly kill you , but with the Lawyer there is no such expedition , he is all for delay , and if his tongue be not well typt with gold , he is so dull of Language , that you shall not heare a comfortable worde come out of his mouth in a whole Michaelmasse Tearme : if you will vnlocke his lips , it must be done with a Golden fee , and that perhaps may sette his tongue at libertie , to speake ( sometimes ) to as good a purpose , as if he hadde still beene mute .

Let vs leaue the Lawyer to his study , and let vs now looke a little in at the Court gate , & leauing to speake of those few in number that do aspire to the fauour of the prince , by their honest and vertuous endeuours , let vs take a short suruey of those others , that doe labour their owne aduancements , by base and seruile practises , by lying , by slandering , by backbiting , by flattering , by dissembling : that haue no other meanes whereby to make themselues gratious in the eye of greatnesse , but by surrendering themselues to base Imployments , that doe sometimes poyson the eares of Princes , and vnder the pretence of common good , do obtaine those suits that doth oppresse a whole common wealth , & but to maintaine the pride and prodigalitie of a priuate person .

In the Courts of Princes euery great man ( placed in authority ) must be flattered in his follies , praysed in his pleasures , commended in his vanities , yea his very vices must be made vertues , or els they will say we forget our duties , wee malice his greatnes , we enuy his fortunes : and hee that will offer sacrifice to Thraso , must haue Gnato to be his Priest : for the itching eares of vaine glory , are best pleased when they be scratched by Flattery .

By these steps of smooting , Courtiers must learne to climbe and more hyts vppon preferment by occasion , then eyther by worthines or good desert .

In the Courts of Princes , Fornications , Adulteries & Rauishments , and such other like , haue bin accounted yong Courtiers sports .

Honest men haue beene there oppressed , Rybaulds preferred , simple men scorned , innocent men persecuted , presumptuous men fauoured , flatterers aduanced .

Let the Prince himselfe be neuer so studious of the publique good , yet not seeing into all enormities , he is compassed about with those that be enormious : let Tryan prescribe good Lawes for eternall memory , yet where are they sooner broken , then in the Court of Tryan : let Aurelius store his Court with wise men , yet euen there they doe waxe dissolute .

A princes Court , is like a pleasant Garden , where the Bee may gather Honny , and the Spyder sucke poyson : for as it is a Schoole of vertue to such as can bridle their mindes with discretion , so it is a Nursery of vice , to such as doe measure their willes with witlesse vanitie .

It hath beene holden for a Maxime , that a proud Court , doth make a poore Countrey : and that there is not so hatefull a vermine to the common wealth , as those that are Surnamed , The Moathes of the Court : but Courtiers will not bee easely dasht out of countenance , for it is a Courtiers vertue , to be confident in his owne conceipt , and he that is so resolute , will blush at nothing .

But now to make an end of this suruey of vanity , let vs yet make one iourney more , and it shall bee to the Church , and at that time when the Preacher is in the pulpit , and we shall there see such Hypocrisie , such counterfeiting , such dissembling , and such mocking with God , that were it not but that as his wrath so often kindled against vs for our sinnes , should not yet as often be quenched againe by his mercy , it coulde not bee , but that the iustice of God would euen there ataynt vs .

There you shall see him , that in his life and conuersation ( to the shewe of the world ) when hee is out of the Church liueth , as if he made doubt whether there were any God or no , yet he will there ioyne with the Preacher in prayer , and will cry out O our Father which art in heauen .

Hollowed be thy name ( sayth the common Swearer ) who with vnhallowed lyps , doth euery day blaspheme the name of God .

And he that reposeth his whole felicitie in the transitory pleasures of this world , that doth make his gold his God , & whose heauen is vpon this earth , will there beseech in prayer , Lord let thy kingdome come .

Another that doth repine at the ordinances of God , that will murmure and grudge at those visitations wherewith it pleaseth him sometimes to afflict vs , will yet make petition , Thy will be done on earth as it is in heauen .

There you shall see him to make intercession for his dayly Bread , that will polute himselfe all the weeke after , with his daily drinke .

But what a misery is this , that the contentious , the malicious , the wrathfull , and for him that doth seeke reuenge for the least offence that is offered vnto him , somtimes by bloudie reuenge , sometimes by sutes of law , and at all times with great rigor & violence , and will yet craue by petition , Lord forgiue vs our Trepasses , as we forgiue them that trespasse against vs , drawing therby their owne damnation vpon their owne heades , when at the day of the generall Sessions , the great Iudge shall say vnto them , Ex ore tuo , te Iudicabo , depart from me thou cursed creature , thy portion is amongst the Hypocrites : for as faith without obedience , is no faith but the true marke of an Hypocrite , so profession ioyned with malice , is as certaine a note of Hypocrisie .

There you shall see the Extortioner , the Adulterer , the Blasphemer , vnder the colour of deuotion , so transforme themselues into a show of sanctimony , that during the time of the Sermon , they doe seeme to bee Saynts , but being out of the Church doore , a man would thinke them to bee Demy Deuils .

There you shall see the Vsurer , the Briber , the Broaker , with their books laid open before them , turning ouer leaues as busily , as if they were in their Counting Houses casting vp of their debts , and calculating what summes were owing vnto them : there you shall see the Marchant , the Shopkeeper , the Tradesman , and such others as doe liue by trafique , by buying and by selling , lifting vp their eyes , heauing vp their hands , and making show , as if they were inflamed with a hot burning Feuer , of a fiery burning zeale .

But they doe vse Religion , as women doe vse their paynting stuffe , it serues but to couer their deformities , they haue one Conscience for the Church , another for the Market , and so they keepe a good one for Sundayes , it makes no matter for all the weeke after .

Should I speake now of women , they doe make as great a show of deuotion as men , and although there be a number of them graue and godly matrones , zealous , and well inclined marryed wiues , gratious and godly disposed damosels , and yong maydens , that are no lesse vertuous indeed , then they doe make showe for : yet there bee a number of others that do rather frequent the Church to see new fashions , then to gather good instructions , and a number of them rather to be seene themselues , then to seeke God .

Now what zeale is that zeale , that will neyther let slippe a Sermon , nor lette goe a new fashion : this strange atiring of themselues may well bring admiration to Fooles , but it breeds laughter to the wise .

You shall see some women goe so attyred to the Church , that I am ashamd to tell it out aloud , but harke in your eare , I will speake it softly , fitter in good fayth , to furnish A. B. H. then to presse into the House of God : they are so be paynted so be periwigd , so be poudered , so be perfumed , so bee starched , so be laced , and so bee imbrodered , that I cannot tell what mentall vertues they may haue that they do keepe inwardly to themselues , but I am sure , to the outward show , it is a hard matter in the church it selfe to distinguish between a good woman , and a bad .

Our behauiours , our gestures , and our outward attyres , are tongs to proclaime the inward disposition of the mind , then away with this pretended zeale , let vs not make Religion a Cloake for Impietie .

If we will seeke Christ , let vs seeke him so as we may finde him , in the high way of humilitie , but not of pride and Impudency .

I thinke amongst many women that are thus frequenting Sermons , there be some that will catch at some prety sounding words , and let the matter slip , that they ought especially to attend : as the poore gentle-woman that was so dismayed at the Preachers wordes , who discoursing to his auditory of the generall day of Iudgement , how we should be then called to a stricte and a strayght account : the poore gentle-woman being returned to her owne house with this newes , beganne to fail into a sodaine fit of weeping , which being marked by some friends that were about her , they besought her to make knowne vnto them , the cause of her griefe , her answere was , that shee was but now come from a Sermon , that had so troubled her in her thoughts , that shee could not refraine from sheding of teares : those that heard her , thinking that shee had beene stricken with some godly remorse in remembrance of her former misled life , beganne to comfort her , telling her how God had mercy in store for all penitent sinners , and her teares so distilled being an argument of her heartie repentance , there was no doubt in her , but to hope of saluation .

Alas ( said shee ) it is not the remembrance of my sins that doth thus perplexe me , but when I consider with my selfe , what a great assembly will then make their appearance at the day of that generall Sessions which the Preacher spake of , it maketh me to weepe to thinke howe ashamed I shal be to stand starke naked before such a presence ( as he saies ) will be then in place .

See here the very height of a gentlewomans disquiet , what a scruple it was that thus incumbred her Conscience , God grant there be not many others that doth make the like colections , and that will sometimes be disputing of the Preachers wordes , which they be no lesse able to conceiue , then vnwilling to followe : there be many that will seeme to professe Religion as well men as women , and that with great zeale and feruency , but they liue not thereafter , euen those that by their outward show , do thirst after knowledge , those that will turne ouer many leaues & seeke out seuerall Chapters , and when they hyt vppon some interpretation to nourish their sensualitie , they stay there , and are the worse for their reading .

Sonne of man ( sayth God to the Prophet Ezechiell ) my people sit before thee , and they heare my wordes , but they will not doe them , their hearts goeth after Couetousnesse .

To speake against sinne in this age , it is like the filling of Daneas Tubs , and eyther they thinke there is no God at all , or else they thinke him to be such a one , as it were as good there were none at all : for it is lesse dangerous for a man to commit sinne , then to reproue sinne .

To reprehend Drunkennesse , Whordome , Blasphemy , or to speake against that pryde , that God will surely punish , wee must not doe it , they will say wee are too bitter , too byting , too satiricall , and thus we are more afraid to offend vicious men , then we are desirous to please God .

But tell me now thou beastly Drunkard , thou vicious Adulterer , thou Swearer and prophaner of GODS holy name , which of you , if you had a wife that had played the Strumpet , if shee should come vnto thee with submissiue words & shewes of repentance , and that vpon the hope of her amendment , thou wouldst pardon what was past , wouldst thou not thinke it much if thou hadst forgiuen her once , that shee should afterwardes play the harlot againe , but if thou hadst so much kindnesse to remitte the second fault , if she should yet come the third time , with one of her Roaring boyes in her company , & should play the Harlot before thine owne face , ( thou thy selfe standing present ) and would yet with smyling countenance , & inticing shewes , offer to come & kisse thee , wouldest thou not defie her , wouldest thou not spite at her , wouldest thou not spurne at her , wouldest thou not abhorre her .

Then what doest thou thinke of thy GOD ( if I may so tearme him to be thy God ) whom thou thy selfe hast disavowed , and broken that contract , which was made between him and thee , when thou wert baptized , that runnest euerie day from sinne to sinne , a whoring , till perhaps on Sundaies , and then thou goest to Church with a smiling countenance to dissemble and flatter with God , and wilt seeme to come and kisse him , nay thou commest to mocke him , & to speak the truth , to tempt him , for Sunday it selfe is scarce ouerpast , but thou returnest backe againe to thine Adultery , to thy Drunkennesse , to thy blasphemie , to thy vsury , to thy brybery , to thy periurie , to thy pride , to thy vanitie , and to all the rest of thy former impieties : dost thou not tremble now at the iudgements of God , dost thou not feare his vengeance sodainly to fall vppon thee ?

Perhaps thou wilt thinke thy selfe to be in no danger , and wilt but iest at me , that would but put thee into some foolish feare : well iest at it and spare not , but when Time hath done his office , thou shalt see what will come of iesting .

They were wont to say , the world did runne on wheeles , and it may well bee , it hath done so in times past , but I say now , it goes on Crouches , for it is waxen old , blind , decrepit and lame , a lymping world God knowes , and nothing but halting betweene neighbour & neighbour , betwene friend and friend , betweene brother and brother , and downe right halting ( sometimes ) betweene the Father and the childe , the Son that will craue his Fathers blessing in the morning , will wish him dead before night , that hee might enioy his inheritance : And as the world is become thus lame & lymping , so it is otherwise growne so far out of reparations , that ( I thinke ) there is no hope of amendment , the best remedy were , if euery man would mend one , and that will not bee performed in hast , for we imitate nothing but what we doe see , and whom doe we see setting vp that light , that might shine vnto vs in example , no the world is become feeble , her spirits are spent , shee is growne Bis puer , she is become childdish , and begins to doat a fresh on that shee sometimes scorned .

The possession of gold , vnlawfully gotten , was wont to be called a capitall offence , nowe there is nothing more desired .

In Diebus illis , they bent their whole endeuours to winne honourable reputation , but now for popular praise & vain ostentation .

Our predecessors ordained Lawes whereby to restrayne the prodigall from spending their owne wealth in ryot and excesse , but nowe there is no expence so laudable as that which is spent in vanitie .