A Match at Midnight Rowley, William This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A11151 of text S116268 in the English Short Title Catalog (STC 21421). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. Martin Mueller Incompletely or incorrectly transcribed words were reviewed and in many cases fixed by Hannah Bredar Lydia Zoells This text has not been fully proofread EarlyPrint Project Evanston IL, Notre Dame IN, St.Louis, Washington MO 2017 Distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License A11151.xml A match at mid-night. A pleasant comœdie: as it hath beene acted by the Children of the Revells. Written by VV.R. Rowley, William, 1585?-1642? 36 600dpi TIFF G4 page images University of Michigan, Digital Library Production Service Ann Arbor, Michigan 2004 August (TCP phase 1) 99851485 STC (2nd ed.) 21421. Greg, II, 476. 16759 A11151 2240915247

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 A match at mid-night. A pleasant comœdie: as it hath beene acted by the Children of the Revells. Written by VV.R. Rowley, William, 1585?-1642? [72] p. Printed by Aug. Mathewes, for William Sheares, and are to be sold at his shop in Brittaines Bursse, London : 1633. 1622

VV.R. = William Rowley.

Partly in verse.

Signatures: [A]2 B-I4 K2.

Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery.

 A11151 shc A Match at Midnight Rowley, William Hannah Bredar Lydia Zoells 1622 play comedy shc no A11151 S116268 (STC 21421). 72 24918 0 0 0 2 0 0 0.79 B The rate of 0.79 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the B category of texts with fewer than 10 defects per 10,000 words. Incorporated ~ 10,000 textual changes made to the SHC corpus by Hannah Bredar, Kate Needham, and Lydia Zoells between April and July 2015 during visits, separately or together, to the Bodleian, Folger and Houghton Libraries as well as the Rare Book Libraries at Northwestern University and the University of Chicago

A MATCH AT MID-NIGHT . A Pleasant Comoedie : As it hath beene Acted by the Children of the Revells .

Written by W. R.

LONDON : Printed by Aug. Mathewes , for William Sheares , and are to be sold at his Shop in Brittaines Bursse . 1633 .

The Actors Names . 3 Captaine Carvegut . 4 Lieutenant Bottome . Ancient Young . Bloodhound , A Vsurer . Alexander Bloodhound his two sonnes . Tim Bloodhound .
Randall , A Welchman . Eare-lacke , A Scrivener . 1. Sir Marmaduke many minds . 2 Sir Ianus Ambodexter . Sim , the Clowne . Iohn , seruant to the Widdow . Iarvis , the Widdowes Husband disguised like her servant . A Smith . Bussie , A Constable . Watch . Widdow . Moll , Bloodhounds Daughter . Widdowes Mayd . Mistris Coote , a Bawd . Sue , A Whoore .
A MATCH AT MID-NIGHT . Actus Primus . Scaena Prima . Enter as making themselues ready , Tim Blood-hound , and Sim the man . Sim.

Good morrow Master Tim.

Tim.

Morrow Sim , my father stirring Sim ?

Sim.

Not yet I thinke , he heard some ill newes of your Brother Alexander last night , that will make him lye an houre extraordinarie .

Tim.

Hum , I am sorry the old man should lye by the hower , but oh , these wicked Elder Brothers , that sweare refuse them , and drinke nothing but wicked Sacke , when wee sweare nothing but niggers noggers , make a meale of a bloate Herring , water it with foure shillings Beere , and then sweare wee have dined as well as my Lord Maior .

Sim.

Here was Goody Finne the fish-woman fetcht home her Ring last night .

Tim.

Yee should have put her money by her selfe , for feare of wronging of the whole heape .

Sim.

So I did sir and washt it first in two waters .

Tim.

All these petty pawnes sirrah , my Father committs to my managing , to instruct me in this craft , that when he dyes , the common-wealth may want a good member .

Enter Mistresse Mary . Sim.

Nay , you are curst as much as he already .

Mary .

Oh Brother , 't is well you are up .

Tim.

Why , why ?

Mary .

Now you shall see the dainty Widdow , the sweete Widdow , the delicate Widdow , that to morrow morning must bee our Mother in Law .

Tim.

What the Widdow Nagge .

Sim.

Yes , yes , she that dwells in Blacke-fryers , next to the signe of the Foole laughing at a feather .

Mary .

Shee , shee , good Brother make your selfe handsome , for my father will bring her hither presently .

Tim.

Niggers noggers , I thought hee had bene sicke and had not bene up Sim .

Sim.

Why so did I too , but it seemes the Widdow tooke him at a better hand , and rais'd him so much the sooner .

Tim

While I tye my Band , prethee stroke up my fore-toppe a little , Niggers , and I had but dreamed of this an houre before I wak't , I wood have put on my Sunday cloathes , 'snailes my shooes are as pale as the cheeke of a stewd Pander , a clout , a clout Sim .

Sim.

More hast , the worse speed , here 's ne're a clout now .

Tim.

What s that lyes by the bookes ?

Sim.

This 't is a Sumners coate .

Tim.

Prithee lends a sleeve of that , had a Noble on 't last night , and neuer paid me my Bill money .

Enter old Bloodhound , the Widdow , her maid , and man . Blood .

Looke , looke vpon , and ready , all ready Widdow is , he is in some deepe discourse with Sim , concerning moneyes out to one or another .

Wid.

Has he sayd his prayers sir ?

Blood .

Prayer before providence , when did yee know any thrive , and swell that uses it , hee 's a chip o' th old blocke , I exercise him in the trade of thrift , by turning him to all the petty pawnes , If they come to me , I tell 'em I haue given over Brokering , moyling for mucke and trash , and that I meane to live a life Monasticke , a praying life , pull out the tayle of Cressus from my pocket , and sweare 't is cal'd Charities looking glasse , or an exhortation to forsake the World .

Maid .

Dainty Hypocrite .

Wid.

Peace .

Blood .

But let a fine foole that 's well feathered come , and withall good meate , I have a friend it may be , that may compassionate his wants , I le tell ye an olde Saw for 't over my chimnie yonder , a poore man seeme to him that 's poore , and prayes thee for to lend , but tell the prodigall ( not quite spent ) thou woo't procure a friend .

Wid.

Trust me a thrifty sawe .

Blood .

Many will have vertuous admonitions on their walles , but not a piece in their coffers , give mee these wittie politique sawes , and indeed my house is furnisht with no other .

Wid.

How happy shall I be to wed such wisedome .

Blood .

Shall bed it , shall bed it wench , shalt ha 't by infusion , looke , looke . Enter a Smith .

Smith .

Save ye Master Tim.

Tim.

Who 's this , goodman fyle the black-smith , I thought 'had beene our old collier : did you goe to bed with that durty face goodman fyle ?

Smith .

And rise with it too sir .

Tim.

What have you bumming out there goodman fyle ?

Smith .

A vice sir , that I would faine bee furnisht with a little money upon 't .

Tim.

Why how will you doe to worke then goodman fyle ?

Smith .

This is my spare vice , not that I live by .

Tim.

Hum , yee did not buy this spare vice of a leane Courtier , did yee ?

Smith .

No sir , of a fat Cooke , that strain'd of a Smith for 's rent .

Sim.

Oh hard hearted man of grease .

Tim.

Nay , nay , Sim , we must doo 't sometimes .

Blood .

Ha thrifty whorsonne .

Tim.

And what wood serue your turne goodman fyle ?

Smith .

A Noble Sir .

Tim.

What upon a spare vice to lend a Noble ?

Sim.

Why sir , for ten groats you may make your selfe drunke , and so buy a vice outright for halfe the money .

Tim.

That is no noble vice I assure ye .

Sim.

How long wood ye have it !

Smith .

But a fortnight , 't is to buy stuffe I protest sir .

Tim.

Looke ye being a neighbour , and borne one for another .

Blood .

Ha villaine , shalt have all .

Tim.

There is five shillings uppon 't , which at the fortnights end goodman Fyle you must make five shillings sixe pence .

Smith .

How sir ?

Tim.

Nay and it were not to doe you a curtesie —

Blood .

Ha Boy .

Tim.

And then I had forgot three pence for my Bill , so there is foure pence , and nine pence , which you are to tender backe , five shillings sixe pence , goodman Fyle at the end of the fortnight .

Smith .

Well and it were not for earnest necessitie , hay boyes , I come , I come , you blacke rascalls , let the Cans goe round .

Tim.

Sim , because the man 's an honest man , I pray lay up his Vice , as safe as it were your owne .

Sim.

And if hee misse his day , and forfeit , it shall bee yours and your heires for ever .

Blood .

What , disbursing money boy ? here is thy mother in law

Clowne

Your nose drops , 't will spoyle her ruffe .

Tim.

Pray forsooth — what 's a clocke .

Mayd .

Oh fie upon him Mistresse , I thought he had begunne to aske you blessing .

Wid.

Peace , wee le have more on 't . Walk's towards him .

Tim.

I wonnot kisse indeed .

Sim

And he wonnot , here are those that will forsooth .

Blood .

Get ye in you Rogue .

Wid.

I hope yee will Sir ? I was bred in Ireland where the women beginne the salutation .

Tim.

I wonnot kisse truely .

Wid.

Indeed you must .

Tim.

Wood my girdle may breake if I doe .

Wid.

I have a minde .

Tim.

Niggers noggers I wonnot .

Blood .

Nay nay , now his great oath's past , ther 's no talke on 't , I like him nere the worse , ther 's an old saw sort ,

A kisse first , next the feeling sence , Cracke say the purse strings , out flie the pence .

But he can talke though , whose Boy are you Tim ?

Tim.

Your boy forsooth Father .

Blood .

Can ye turne and wind a penny Tim.

Tim.

Better then yourselfe forsooth father .

Blood .

You have look't in the Church booke late , how olde are you Tim ?

Tim.

Two and twenty yeeres , three moneths , three dayes , and three quarters of an houre , forsooth Father .

Wid.

He has Arethmaticke .

Blood .

And Grammer too , what 's Latine for your head Tim ?

Tim.

Caput .

Wid.

But what for the head of a blocke ?

Tim.

Caput blockhead .

Blood .

Doe ye heare , your eare .

Tim.

Aura .

Blood .

Your eye .

Tim.

Occules .

Blood .

That 's for one eye , what 's Latine for two .

Tim.

Occulies , occulies .

Wid.

An admirable accidentall Gramarian I protest sir .

Blood .

This boy shall have all , I have an elder rogue that sucks and drawes mee , a Taverne Accademian : one that protests to Whores , and shires with High-way lawyers ; an arrant unclarified Rogue , that drinkes nothing but wicked Sacke .

Enter Clowne , Alexander drunke . Clow.

Here 's a Gentleman would speake with you ,

Blood .

Looke , looke , now hee 's come for more money .

Widdow .

A very hopefull house to match into wench , the Father a Knave , one sonne a drunkard , and tother a foole .

Tim.

O monster Father , looke if hee bee not drunke , the very sight of him makes me long for a cup of sixe .

Alex.

Pray Father , pray to God to blesse me .

Blood .

Looke , looke , takes his brother for his Father .

Sim :

Alas Sir , when the drink 's in , the wit 's out , and none but wise children know their owne Fathers .

Tim:

Why I am none of your Father , brother , I am Tim , doe ye know Tim.

Alex.

Yes , umph — for a coxecombe .

Wid.

How wild he lookes : good sir wee le take our leaves .

Blood .

Shalt not goe faith Widdow : you Cheater Rogue , must I ha my friends frighted out my house by you , looke hee le steale nothing to feast his Bawdes , get ye out sirrah , there are Constables , Beadles , whips , and the Colledge of extravaging , Eclipt Bridewell yee Rogue , yee Rogue there is , there is — marke that .

Alexander .

Can you send mee a Marke vpon this Ring sir , and there set it downe in your Booke , and vmph — marke that .

Blood .

I le have no stolne Rings , pickt out of pockets , or taken upon the way , not I .

Alex.

I le give you an old saw for 't .

Blood .

There 's a Rogue mocks his Father , sirrah , get ' ye gone , Sim , goe let loose the Mastiffe .

Sim.

Alas sir , hee le teare and pull out your sonnes throate .

Blood .

Better pul 't out , then a halter stretch't , away out of my doores rogue , I defie thee .

Alex.

Must you be my Mother in Law ?

Wid.

So your father sayes sir .

Alex.

You see the worst of your eldest sonne , I abuse no body .

Blood .

The Rogue will fall upon her .

Alex.

I will tell ye an old sawe .

Wid.

Pray let 's heare it .

Alex. An old man is a bed full of bones , and who can it denie , By whom ( vmph ) a yong wench lyes and greaues , for better companie . Blood .

Did yee ever heare such a Rascall ? come come , let 's leaue him : I le goe buy thy wedding Ring presently , y' are best bee gone sirrah : I am going for the Constable , I and one of the Church-wardens , and now I thinke on 't , hee shall pay five shillings to the poore for being drunke , twelve pence shall goe into the boxe , and tother foure , my partner and wee le share betwixt us , there 's a new path to thrift wench , wee must live , wee must live girle .

Wid.

And at last die for altogether .

Sim.

'T is a Dyamond .

Tim.

You le be at the fountaine after dinner ?

Alex.

White , t will runne boy .

Tim.

Here 's a noble now , and I le bring you tother as I come by to the Taverne , but I le make you sweare , I shall drinke nothing but small Beere .

Alex.

Niggers naggers thou shalt not , there 's thine owne oath for thee , thou shalt eate nothing and thou woo't , but a poacht spider , and driue it downe with sirrup of Toads . Exit .

Tim.

Ah , prithee Sim bid the maid eate my breakefast her selfe .

Sim.

Has turn'd his stomacke , for all the World like a Puritanes , at the sight of a surplesse , but your breakefast shall bee devoured by a stomacke of a stronger constitution I warrant you . Exit .

Enter Captaine Carvegut , and Lieuetenant Bottome . Captaine .

No Game abroad this morning , this Coxecombe Parke , I thinke bee past the best , I have knowne the time the bottome twixt these hilles has beene better fledg'd .

Lieu.

Looke out Captaine , there 's matter of imployment at foote o' th hill .

Captaine .

A businesse ?

Lieu.

Yes , and hopefull , there 's a morning bird , his flight it seemes for London , hee hallowes and sings sweetely , prithee let us goe and put him out of tune .

Cap.

Thee and I haue Cratchets in our pates , and thou knowest two Crotchets make one quaver , he shall shake for t . Exit .

Enter Randall . Rand. Did her not see her true Loves , As her came from London , Oh , if her saw not her fine prave Loves , Randall is quite undone ,

Well , was neuer mortall man in Wales , coo'd have wagd praver , finers , and nimblers , then Randals have done , to get service in Londons : whoope , where was her now , just upon a bridge of stone , between the legs of a couple of pretty hils , but no more nere mountaines in Wales , then Clim of the Cloughes bowe , to her Cozen Davids Harpe , and now her prattle of Davie , I thinke yonder come prancing down the hils from Kingstone a coupl of her tother cozens Saint Nicholas Clarks . the morning was so red as an egge , and the place very full of dangers , perills , and bloody businesses by reports : augh her swords was drawne , God plesse us and her cozen Hercules was not stand against too , which shall her take if they take Randalls , will rippe Randals cutts out , and then Randals shall see Pawles steeples no more , therefore her will goe directly vnder the bridge , here was but standing to knees in little fine coole faire waters , and becat if her have Randalls out , her shall come and fetch Randalls and her will , were her nineteene Nicholas Clearkes . Exit .

Enter Captaine and Lieutenant Lieu.

Which way tooke hee ?

Cap.

On streight I thinke .

Lieu.

Then we should see him man , hee was just in mine eye when we were at foot o' th hill , and to my thinking stood here looking towards us upon the bridge .

Cap.

So thought I , but with the cloud of dust wee rais'd about us , with the speed our horses made : it seemes we lost him , how I could stampe and bite my horses eares off .

Lieu.

Let 's spurre towards Coomb house , he strucke that way , sure hee 's not upon the Roade .

Capt.

'Sfoot if wee misse him , how shall wee keepe our word with Sander Bloodhound in Fleetstreete after dinner at the Fountaine , hee 's out of cash , and thou knowest by Cutters Law , wee are bound to relieve one another .

Lieu.

Let 's scowre towards Coomb house , but if we misse him .

Cap.

No matter , dost see yonder Barne o' th left hand ?

Lieu.

What of that ?

Cap. At the West end , I tore a piece of board out , And stuft in close amongst the straw , a bagge Of a hundred pound at least , all in round shillings : Which I made my last nights purchase for a Lawyer . Lieu.

Dost know the place to fetch it againe ?

Cap. The torne board is my land marke , if we misse this , We make for that , and whilst that lasts — oh London , Thou Labyrinth that puzlest strictest search , Convenient Innes of Court , for highway Lawyers , How with rich wine , Tobacco , and sweet Wenches , we will canvase thy darke case . Lieu.

Away , let 's spurre . Exit .

Enter Randall . Rand.

Spurre did her call her , have made Randals stand without bootes , in ferry pittifull pickles , but her will run as nimbles to Londons , as Greyhound after Rabbits , and yet now her remember what her Cozens talkt , was some wiser and some too , Randals heard talke of Parne upon left hand , and a prave bag with hundred pounds in round shillings Cod plesse us , and yonder was Parnes and upon left hands too , now here was questions , & demands to be made , why Randals should not rob them would rob Randals , her will goe to parnes , plucke away pords , pull out paggs , and shew her cozen a round paire of heeles , with aule her round sillings , marke her now . Exit .

Enter Captaine and Lieuetenant . Lieu.

The Rogue rise right , and has out stript us this was staying in Kingstone with our unlucky Hostesse , that must be dandled , and made drunke next her heart , she made us slip the very Creame o' th morning , if any thing stand augward , a woman 's at one end on 't .

Cap.

Come , we have a hundred pieces good yet in the Barne , they shall last us , and Saunder a moneths mirth at least .

Lieu.

Oh these sweete hundred pieces , how I will kisse ye , and hugge ye with that zeale a Vsurer does his bastard money , when hee comes from Church , wert not for them , where were our hopes , but come , they shall bee sure to thunder in the Taverns , I but now , just now I see pottle pots throwne downe the stayres , just like Serieants and Yeomen , one i' th necke of another .

Cap.

Delicate vision . Exeunt . Ent. Ran.

Rand.

Her have got her pag and aule by the hand , and her had ferrily thought in conscience , had not bin so many round shillings in whole worlds but in Wales , t was time to supply her store , her had but thirteene pence halfe penny in awle the worlds , and that her have left in her little white purse , with a rope her found py the parne , just in the place her had this : Randals will bee no serving mans now , her will buy her prave Parrells , prave Swords , prave Taggers , and praue Feathers , and goe a wooing to prave comely pretty maids , rob Randalls , becat and her were ten dozens of cozens , Randals rob her , marke her now . Exit .

Enter Captaine , and Lieutenant . Lieu.

A plague of Friday mornings , the unfortunate day in the whole weeke .

Capt.

Was ever the like sate , 'sfoote when I put it in I was so wary , though it were midnight , that I watcht till a cloud had mask't the Moone , for feare shee should have seen 't .

Lieu.

Oh lucke .

Cap.

A Gale of wind did but creepe ore the bottome , and because I heard things stirre , I staied , 't was twelvescore past mee .

Lieu.

The pottle pots will sleepe in peace to night .

Cap.

And the sweete clinkes .

Lieu.

The clattering of pipes .

Capt.

The Spanish fumes .

Lieu.

The more wine boy , the nimble anon , anon sir .

Cap.

All to night will be nothing , come wee must shift , sfoot what a witty rogue 't was to leave , this faire thirteen pence halfepenny , and this old halter , intimating aptly .

Had the hang-man met us three , by these presages , Here had bin his worke , and here his wages . Lieu.

Come , come , we must make friends . Exeunt .

Enter Bloodhound , Tim , and Sim. Blood .

There sirrah , there 's his bond , runne into the Strand , sixe weekes the Tallow Chandler fetcht my hundred marke I lent him to set him up , and to buy grease , this is his day , I le have his bones for 't else , so pray tell him .

Tim

But are a Chandlers ones worth so much Father ?

Blood .

Out Coxecombe .

Sim.

Worth so much , I know my Master will make dice on them , then 't is but letting Master Alexander carry them next Christmas to the Temple , he 'le make a hundred marks a night of them .

Tim.

Masse that 's true .

Blood .

And runne to Master Eare-lacks the informer , in Theeving lane , and aske him what he has done in my businesse he gets aboundance , and if he carry my cause with one false oath , he shall have Moll , he will take her with a little , are yee gone Sir ?

Tim.

No forsooth .

Blood .

As yee come by Temple-barre , make a steppe to 'th Divell .

Tim.

To the Divell father ?

Blood .

My Master meanes the signe of the Divell .

Sim.

And he cannot hurt ye foole , ther 's a Saint holds him by the nose .

Tim.

Sniggers , what does the Divell and a Saint both in a signe ?

Sim.

What a question 's that , what does my Master , and his prayer booke a Sunday both in a pew ?

Sim.

Well , well , ye Gipsy , what do wee both in a pew ?

Blood

Why make a faire shew , and the Divell and the Saint does no more .

Blod.

Y' are witty , y' are witty , cal to the man o' th house , bid him send in the bottles of wine to night , they will be at hand i' th morning , — will ye runne sir ?

Tim.

To the devill as fast I can Sir , the world shall know who 's sonne I am . Exit .

Blood Let me see now , for a posie for the Ring : Never an end of an old saw , 't is a quicke Widdow Sim , And wood have a witty posie . Sim

If she be quick , shee 's with child , whosoever got it you must father it , so that you come o' th nicke , forthe widdow 's quicke , there 's a witty posie for you quick Widow .

Blood .

No , no , I le have one shall savour of , of a sawe .

Sim.

Why then 't will smell of the painted cloth .

Blood .

Let me see , a Widdow witty .

Sim.

Is pastime pretty , put in that for the sports sake .

Blood .

No , no , I can make the sport , then an old man .

Sim. Then will she answere , if you cannot a yonger can , And looke , looke sir , now I take of the yonger , Yonder 's Ancient Young come over againe , that Morgaged sixtie pound Per annum before he went , I am deceived if he come not a day after the Faire . Blood .

Mine Alminacke .

Sim.

A prayer booke sir .

Blood .

A prayer booke for devote beggers I hate , looke I beseech thee , Fortune now befriend mee , and I will call the plaguy whore in , let me see , sixe moneths .

Ant.

Yes , t is he certaine , this is a businesse must not bee slackened sir .

Sim.

Looke I beseech thee , wee shall have oat meale in our pottage sixe weekes after .

Blood .

Foure dayes too late Sim , foure dayes too late Sim .

Sim.

Plummes in our pudding a Sunday , plummes in our pudding .

Ant.

Master bloodhound as I take it .

Blood .

You are a stranger Sir , you shall be witnesse , I shall be rayl'd at else , they will call me devill , I pray you how many moneths from the first of May , to the sixt of November following ?

Ant.

Sixe moneths and foure dayes just .

Blood .

I aske , because the last first of May , a noble gentleman , one Ancient Young .

Ant.

I am the man sir ?

Blood .

My spectacles Sim , look Sim , is this Ancient Yong ?

Sim.

T vvas Antient Young sir :

Blood .

And is 't not Ancient Young ?

Sim.

No sir , you have made him a young Ancient

Blood .

Oh Sim , a Chayre , I know him now , but I shall not live to tell him .

Ant.

How fare yee sir ?

Sim.

The better for you , he thanks you sir .

Blood .

Sicke , sicke , exceeding sicke ,

Ant.

O' th suddaine , strange .

Sim.

A qualme of threescore yeeres come over his stomacke , nothing else .

Blood .

That you beloved , you , who of all men i' th world , my poore heart doted on , whom I loved better then Father , Mother , Brother , Sister , Vncles , Aunts , what wood yee have , that you should stay foure dayes too late .

Ant. I have your money ready , And sir , I hope your old love to my Father . Blood .

Nay , nay , I am Noble , fellow , very Noble , a very rocke of friendship , but , but , I had a house and barne burnd downe to the ground , since you were here .

Ant.

How ?

Blood .

How burn'd aske Sim ?

Sim.

By fier , sir , by fier .

Blood .

To build vp which , for I am a poore man , a poore man , I was forced by course of Law to enter upon your Land , and so for lesse money then you had of me , I was faine to sell it to another , that by foure dayes stay , a man should lose his blood , our liuings , our blood , ô my heart , ô my head .

Ant.

Pray take it not so hainous , wee le goe to him . I le buy it againe of him , he wonnot be too cruell .

Blood .

A dogge , a very dog , there is more mercy in a paire of unbrib'd Bailiffes , to shunne all such solicitings , he 's rid to Yorke , a very cut-throate Rogue , but I le send to him .

Ant.

A honest olde man , how it mooves him , this was my negligence , good Sim convay him into some warmer roome , and I pray , how ever Fortune , shee that gives ever with the dexteritie she takes , shall please to fashion out my sufferings , yet for his sake , my deceas'd Father , the long friend of your heart , in your health , keepe me happy .

Blood .

Oh right honest young man Sim .

Sim.

Sir , Blood . Have I don 't well ?

Sim.

The deu'll himselfe coud not have don 't better .

Blood .

I tell thee an old sawe sirrah , hee that dissembles in wealth shall not want , they say doomes day is comming , but thinke you not an 't , this will make the pot seeth Sim , good Sir talke no more , my mouth runnes over , Sleepe , wake , worthy begger , worthy indeed to be one , and am one worthily — how fine it is to wanton without affliction , I must looke out for Fortunes , over againe , no , I have money here , and 't is the curse of merits , not to worke , when shee has money : there was a handsome Widdow , whose wild mad jealous husband died at Sea , let mee see , I am neere Black-fryers , I le have one start at her , or else —

Enter Bloodhound , Daughter Mol , with a bowle of beere . Mol.

By my troth t is he Captaine Yongs soone , I have loved him even with languishings , ever since I was a girle but should I know it , I should run mad sure , what handsom Gentlemen travaile and manners makes , my Father begun to ye Sir , in a cup of finall Beere .

Ant.

How does he pray ?

Moll .

Pretty well now Sir .

Ant.

Mas 't is small indeed — you le pledg me ?

Moll .

Yes sir .

Ant.

Pray will ye tell me one thing ?

Moll .

What is 't .

Ant

Which is smaller , this Beere , or your maidenhead ?

Moll .

the Beere a great deale Sir .

Ant.

I in qualitie .

Moll .

But not in quantitie .

Ant.

No ?

Moll .

Why ?

Ant.

Let me try , and I le tell you .

Moll .

Will you tell me one thing before you try ?

Ant.

Yes .

Moll .

Which is smaller , this Beere or your wit ?

Ant.

O the Beere , the Beere .

Moll .

In qualitie .

Ant.

Yes , in quantitie .

Moll .

Why then I pray keepe your quantitie of your wit , from the quality of my maydenhead , and yee shall find my maydenhead more then your wit .

Ant.

A witty maydenhead by this hand .

Exeunt seuerally .
Actus . 2. Scaena 1. A Table set out . Enter two servants , Iarvis and Iohn , as to cover it for dinner . Iohn .

Is my Mistresse ready for dinner ?

Iar.

Yes , if dinner be ready for my Mistresse .

Iohn .

Halfe an houre agoe man .

Iar.

But prithee sir , is 't for certaine , for yet it cannot sink into my head , that she is to be married to morrow .

Ioh.

Troth , shee makes little preparation , but it may be she wood be wedded , as she wood be bedded , privatly .

Iar.

Bedded call ye it , and she be bedded no better then hee le bed her , she may lie Tantaliz'd and eate wishes .

Iohn .

Pox on him , they say hee 's the arrantst miser , we shall never live good day with him .

Iar.

Wel , and she be s●ipt by threescore and ten , may she live sixescore and eleven , and repent twelve times a that 's once an houre .

Wid.

Set meate o' th board . Enter Wid.

Iohn .

Yes . Exit .

Wid.

Why doe's your fellow grumble so ?

Iohn . I doe not know . They say y' are to marry one that will feede us . With horse-plummes , instead of Beefe and Cabidge . Wid.

And are you grieu'd at that ?

Iohn .

No , but my friends are .

Wid.

What friends are grieu'd ?

Iohn .

My guts .

Wid.

So it seemes , you begon Clowne ?

Iohn .

Yes , and shall conclude Coxecombe , and I be fed with herring bones , ' sfoote , I say no more , but if wee doe want as much bread of our daily allowance , as wood dine a Sparrow , or as much drinke as wood foxe a Flie , I know what I know .

Wid.

And what doe ye know sir ?

Ioh.

Why , that there goes but a paire of sheetes , a promoter , and a knave , if you know more , take your choice of either .

Wid. T is well sir , set on dinner . Enter Iohn with a Rabbit in one hand , and a dish of egges in another , and the Mayd . Iohn .

O Mistresse , yonder 's the mad gallant , Master Alexander Bloodhound entred into the Hall .

Wid. Ye should have kept him out . Mayd .

Alas , nere a wench in towne could doo 't hee 's so nimble , I had no sooner opened the doore , but hee thrust in ere I was aware . Enter Alex.

Alex.

And how does my little handsome daintie , delicate , welfavoured , streight , and comely delicious bewitching Widdow .

Iar. 'Sfoote here 's one runs division before the Fidlers . Wid. Sir , this is no seasonable time of visite . Alex.

T is pudding time wench , pudding time , and a daintie time , dinner time my nimble eyd witty one , woot be married to morrow sirrah . sets to table .

Iar. Shee will be mad to morrow sirrah . Alex. What , art thou a fortune teller . Iar. A chip of the same blocke , a foole Sir . Alex. Good foole , give me a cup of coole Beere . Iar. Fill your Master a coole cup of Beere . Alex. Pish , I spoke to the foole . Iar. I thought y 'had brought the foole with you Sir . Alex. Foole , 't is my man , shalt sit i'faith wench , Wid.

For once I be as merry as you are mad , and learne fashions , I am set you see Sir , but you must pardon Sir our rudenesse , Fridayes fare for my selfe , a dish of egges and a Rabbet , I lookt for no stranger faces .

Alex. Strange , mine 's a good face ifaith , prithee Busse . Iar. Why here 's one comes to the businesse now . Alex. Sirrah , woot have the old fellow ? Wid. Your Father , yes . Alex. I tell thee thou shalt not , no , no , I have such — Iar. There 's but one raw bit Sir ? this rabbits raw too Alex. Thy Iester sure shall have a coate . Wid. Let it be of your owne cut Sir ? Alex.

Nay , nay , nay , two to one is extremitie — but as I was telling thee , I have such a husband for thee , so knowing , so discreete , so sprightly , fill a Cup of Claret , so ; Admirably , in desires so excellently , Admirably deserving , that an old man , fie , fie , prethe — ha to thee .

Wid. The man 's mad sure . Iar. Mad , by this hand , a witty Gallant . Iohn . Prithee peace , shalt heare a Song . Enter Ancient Yong. Wid, What copes-mate 's this trow , who let him in ? Iar. By this light , a fellow of an excellent breeding . He came unbidden , and brought his stoole with him . Iohn . Looke Mistresse , how they stare one at another ? Iar.

Yes , and swell like a couple of gib'd Cats , met both by chance i' th darke , in an old Garret .

Wid.

Look , looke , now ther 's no feare of the wild beasts , they have forgot their spleenes , and looke prettily , they fall to their pasture , I had thought they had bin angry , and they are hungry .

Iar.

Are they none of Duke Humfreyes furies , doe you thinke , that they devis'd this plot in Pauls to get a dinner ?

Wid. Time may produce as strange a trueth . Let 's note them . Enter Randal . Rand. Her loved her once , her loved her no more , Saint Trauis so well as her loved her then . Wid.

Another Barre , this is the Cooke-maids leaving , ope the doore , and this is the daintiest dish shee has sent in , a Widgia in Welch sawce — pray le ts make a merry day on 't .

Rand.

What doe her keepe open house , had her heard her was Widdowes that dwelt here , are you Widdowes good womans ?

Wid. I want a husband Sir . Rand.

Angle Randalls comes in very good times , you keep Ordinaries her thinke , what have you set a cat before gallants there ?

Iar.

They will eate him for the second course — these are suters to my Mistris sure , things that she sleights , set your feere boldly in , Widowes are not caught as maids kisse , faintly , but as Mastiffes fight , valiantly .

Rand.

Is her so , I pray bid her Mistresse observe Randals for valours , and prave adventures ?

Ant. Some Beere . Wid. Let them want nothing . Ant. Here Widow . Wid. I thanke you Sir . Alex. Some Wine . Iar. Here is Wine for you Sir . Ran. Randals will not be outprav'd I warrant her . Alex. Here Widow . Wid. I thanke you too Sir , Rand. Sounds some Metheglings here . Wid. What does he call for ? Iar. Here are some egges for you Sir . Ran. Egges man , some Metheglings , the wine of Wales . Iar.

Troth sir here 's none i' th house , pray make a vertue of necessitie , and drinke to her in this glasse of Claret .

Rand.

Well , because her will make a great deales of necessities of vertues , marke with what a grace Randals will drinke to her Mistresse .

Mayd . He makes at you forsooth . Wid.

Let him come , I have ever an English vertue to put by a welch .

Rand. O noble Widdowes , her heart was full of woes . Alex. No noble Welchman , her heart was in her hose . Rand.

' Sounds , was that her manners to take away Randalls cups ?

Ant. No , it shewed scurvy . Alex. Tak 't you at worst then . Ant. Whelpe of the Devill , thou shalt see thy Sire for 't . Iohn . Iar. Gentlemen what meane ye ? Randals .

Let her come , let her come , Randals will redeeme reputations her warrant her .

Wid.

Redeeme your wit sir , first for you Sir , you are a stranger , and see you , — but you , fie Master Bloodhound .

Ant. Ha , Bloodhound , good sir let me speake with you . Ran.

Sounds , what doe Randals amongst ploodhounds , good Widdowes lend her an eare .

Alex.

Ancient Young , how false our memories have plaid through long discontinuance , but why met here man , is Mars so bad a pay-master , that our Ancients fight under Cupids Banner ?

Ant.

Faith this was but a sudden start begotten from distraction of some fortunes , I pursue this Widow but for want of wiser worke .

Iar. The Welchman labours at it . Rand.

A payre of a hundred of seepes , thirtie prave Cowes , and twelue dozen of Runts .

Wid. Twelve dozen of Goose . Ran. Give her but another harke ? Alex.

He has the morgage still , and I have a handsome sister , doe but meet at the Fountaine in Fleetestreete after dinner , ô I will reade thee a History of happines , and thou shalt thanke me .

Ant. Ay , reade all 's well , or weapons . Alex. A word Iarvis ? Ran.

Oh prave Widdowes , her will meete her there , her know her times and her seasons , her warrant her , Randalls will make these prave Gallants hang her selfes in those garters of willow Garlands apout her pates , marke her now , and remember . Exit .

Ant. Adiew sweet widdow , for my ordinary — Wid. T was not so much worth Sir . Ant.

You meane , 't was worth more then , and that 's another handsomely beg'd .

Wid. You conclude women cunning beggers then . Ant.

Yes , and men good benefactors , my best wishes wait on so sweet a Mistris — will ye walke ? Exit .

Alex.

I le follow yee , woo't thinke on 't soone at night , or not at all ?

Iar.

I wood not have my wishes wrong'd , if I should bring it about handsomely , you can be honest ?

Alex. Can , do'st conclude me a sattin cheate ? Iar.

No , a smooth Gallant sir , doe not you faile to bee here soone at nine , still provided , you wil be honest , if I convey you not under her bed , throw me a top o' th Tester , and lay mee out o' th way like a rusty Bilboe .

Alex.

Enough , drinke that , fare wel , Widdow , Fate , the Destinies , and the three ill favoured Sisters , have concluded the meanes , and when I am thy Husband ?

Wid. I shal be your wife . Alex.

Doe but remember these crosse Capers , then yee pitter sweete one ?

Wid. Till then adiew ye bitter sweete one . Iar.

This dinner would have shewed better in bed-lane , and shee a tother side , holdeth her whole nest of suters play , what Art decks the darke Labyrinth of a womans heart . Exit .

Enter Mary Bloodhound , and Sim Mary . Marry old Earelacke , is my Father mad ? Sim.

They are both a concluding on 't yonder , to morrow 's the day , one wedding dinner must serve both marriages .

Moll .

Oh Sim , the Ancient , the delicate Ancient there 's a man , and thou talk'st of a man , a good face & sparkling eye , a streight body , a delicate hand , a cleane legge and foote , ah sweete Sim , there 's a man worth , Maidenhead .

Enter Bloodhound , and Earelacke . Sim.

But I say , Master Eare-lacke the old man , a foote like a Beare , a legge like a bed-staffe , a hand like a hatchet , an eye like a pigge , and a face like a winter Pigme , there 's a man for a Maydenhead .

Mol.

Oh looke , looke , oh alas what shall I doe with him ?

Sim.

What , why what shall fifteene doe with sixtie and twelve , make a screene of him , stand next the fier , whilest you sit behind him , and keep a friends lips warme , many a wench wod be glad of such a fortune .

Blood . Your oath strucke it dead then ? ô my sides . Eare. Five hundred deepe of your side itaith father . Blood .

Mol , come hither Mol , I hope Sim has discouer'd the project ?

Eare.

And to morrow must bee the day Mol , both of a day , one dinner shall serve , we may have store of little ones , we must save for our familie .

Mol.

Good Sir , what rashnesse was parent to this madnesse , marry an old man — Eare-lacke the Informer ?

Blood . Madnesse — y' are a whore . Eare. Is she a whore Sim ? Sim. She must be your wife , I tell — Blood .

An arrant whore , to refuse Master Innocent Earelacke of Rogue-land , that for his dwelling , next that hee doth Informe now and then against enormities , and hath bin blancketted , it may be pump't in 's time : yet the world knowes , he dos't not out of need , hee 's of mighty meanes , but takes delight now and then to trot up and downe , to avoid Idlenesse , you whore .

Sim. Good Sir . Eare. Pray Father . Mol. This wound wants oyle , good sir in al my pathes I will make you my guide , I was only startled , And with the suddennesse of the word marriage In that I knew , that this deserving Gentleman And I , had never so much conference , Whereby this coale of Paphos , by the Rhethoricke Of his love-stealing heart , Captivating Language , Might be blowne into a flame . Eare. Does she take Tobacco Father ? Blood . No , no , man , here are out of ballads , She has all the Garland of good will by heart . Eare. Snailes she may sing me asleepe a nights then Sim Sim.

Why , right Sir , and then 't is but tickling you o' th forehead with her heeles , you are awake againe , and ne're the worse man .

Moll Is he but five yeeres older then your selfe sir ? Eare. Nay , I want a weeke and three dayes of that too . Blood .

I le tell thee an old sawe for 't girle , old , say he be , old blades are best , young hearts are neuer old .

Eare. Ah Hay . Blood .

Gold is great Glee , gold begets rest , what fault is found in Gold ?

Sim. I will answere presently Sir , with another Sawe . Blood . Let 's ha 't , le ts ha' te . Eare. Marke Moll . Sim.

Young , say she be yong , young Mutton 's sweete , content is above Gold , if like an old Cocke he with yong Mutton meetes , he feedes like a Cuckold .

Blood .

A very pretty pithy one , I protest , looke and Moll d ee not laugh , shalt have a payre of gloves for thee , what leather do'st love ?

Sim. Calfe Sir , sheep 's too simple for me . Blood .

Nay , 't is a witty notable knave , he should never serve me else .

Enter Iohn with a letter . Iohn .

My Mistresse remembers her love , and requests you would endure her so much to your patience , as to reade that .

Blood .

Love letters , love lies , do'st marke Sim , these Women are violent , Sim , whilst I reade the lie , doe you rayle to him upon the Brewer , sweare has deceiv'd us , and saue a cup of Beere by 't .

Sim. I will save you a cup at that rate sir . Eare.

I can make thee a hundred a yeere joynture wench , at the first indeed , I began with petty businesses wench , and here I pickt , and there I pickt , but now I runne through none but things of Value .

Moll .

Sir , many thoughts trouble me , and your words carry such weight , that I will chuse a time , when I have nothing else to doe , to thinke on 'em .

Eare.

By my troth , she talkes the wittiliest , and I wood understand her .

Blood .

Oh nimble , nimble Widdow , I am sorry wee haue no better friends , but pray commend me , tho in a blunt dry Commendations at the time and place appointed , I wonnot faile , I know she has a nest of suters , and wo'd carry 't close , because she feares surprisall .

Eare. What newes Father ? Blood . Shalt lie there all night sonne . Eare. Was that the first newes I heard on 't . Blood .

I must meete a friend i' th darke soone , let me see , we lovers are all a little mad , doe you and Moll take a turne or two i' th garden , whilest Sim and I goe up into the Garret and device , the guesse come .

Sim.

He 's a little mad , and I had best hang him upon the crosse beame in the Garret . Exit .

Eare.

Come Mol , come Molkin , wee 'le even to the Camamile bed , and talke of houshold stuffe , and bee sure thou remembrest a Trade .

Mol. Please ye goe before Sir ? Eare.

Nay , an old Ape has an old eye , I shall goe before , and thou woo't shew mee a Love-tricke , and locke mee into the Garden , butterflies , I will come discreetely behind Moll .

Moll .

Out upon him , what a suiter have I got , I am sorry you are so bad an Archer sir .

Eare. Why Bird , why Bird ? Moll .

Why , to shoote at Buts , when you shou'd use prick-shafts , short shooting will loose ye the game , I allow you sir .

Eare.

Her minde runnes sure upon a Fletcher , or a Bowyer , howsoeuer , I le informe against both the Fletcher , for taking whole money for piec't arrowes , the Bowyer for horning the head men of his Parish , and taking money for his paines . Exeunt .

Enter in the Taverne , Alex. the Captaine , Lieutenant , Sue Shortheeles , a whore , Mistresse Cooke , a Bawde . Alex. Some rich Canarie boy . Draw . Anon , anon Sir . Alex.

Possible thus cheated of a hundred pieces , A handsome halter , and the Hangmans wages pop't in the place , what an acute witnesse we have in wickednesse .

Cap. T is done , and handsomely you . Enter Drawer . Draw .

Here 's a pottle of rich Cannary , and a quart of neate Clarret Gentlemen , and there 's a Gentleman below , he sayes he is your Brother , Master Bloodhound , he appointed to meete you here .

Capt.

The expected thing that bought the Bristow stone .

Alex.

Send him up prithee , remember how it must bee carryed ?

Bawd

I am her Grandmother , forget not that by any meanes .

Alex.

And pray remember that you doe not mumpe as if you were chewing Bacon , and spoile all .

Draw . I warrant yee . Enter Ancient . Alex. And harke . Draw . Are these the company sir ? Ant.

Yes , but those I like not , these are not they , I le stay i' th next roome till my company come .

Draw . Where you please Sir , pray follow me . Exit . Capt. I heare him comming up gingerly . Alex.

Oh hee tramples upon the bosome of a Taverne with that dexterity , as your Lawyers Clearkes doe to Westminster Hal upon a durty day with a paire of white silke stockings , Brother Tim , why now y' are a man of your word I see .

Tim.

Nay I love to be as good as my say , see brother , looke , there 's the rest or your money upon the Ring , I cannot spend a penny , for I have ne're a penny left , what are these , what are these ?

Alex. Gallants of note and qualitie , hee that fits taking Tobacco is a Captaine , Captaine Carve-gut . Tim He will not make a Capon of me , will hee . Alex. Are you not my brother ? Alex. Hee that powres out that sparkling sprightly Claret , is a Lieutenant vnder him , Lieutenant Bottome . He was a Sergeant first . Tim. Of the Poultry , or of Woodstreete . Alex. Of the Poultry , of a Woodcock : A Sergeant in the Field , a man of blood . Tim. I 'le take my leaue brother , I am in great hast . Alex. That delicate sweet young Gentlewoman . Tim. Fough this Tobacco . Alex.

That beares the blush of morning vpon her cheekes , whose eyes are like a payre of talking Twinnes .

Tim. Shee lookes lust vpon me . Alex. I thinke you are in hast . Tim. No , no , no pray : Alex. Whose lips are beds of Roses , betwixt which There steales a breath sweeter then Indian Spices . Tim. Sweeter then Ginger . Alex.

But then to touch those lips — you stay too long sure .

Tim.

Pish I tell you , I doe not , I know my time , pray what 's her name ?

Alex.

But 't is descended from the Grecian steeme , the great tributie Lindabrides her name , that ancient marron is her reuerent Granham .

Tim.

Niggers I haue read of her in the Mirrour of Knighthood .

Alex. Come they shall know you . Tim. Nay brother . Alex. I say they shall . Tim. Let me goe downe and wash my face first . Alex . Your face is a fine face my brother Gentleman . Capt. Sir , you are victoriously welcome . Tim. That word has ee'ne conquerd me . Lieu. I desire to kisse your hand Sir . Tim.

Indeed but you shall not Sir , I went out early , and forgot to wash e'm .

Bawd Precious Dotterille . Capt.

Sir , I shall call it a curtesie if you shall please to vouchsafe to pledge me .

Tim. What is 't brother foure or sixe ? Alex.

Foure or sixe , 't is rich Canary , it came from beyond the Seas .

Tim.

I will doe no curtesie at this time Sir , yet for one cup I care not , because it comes from beyond the Seas .

I thinke 't is Out-landish wine . Sue . Looke how it glides . Tim.

Now truly the Gentleman drinkes as like one Master Widgen a kinsman of mine .

Lieu. Pox on yee heilding . Tim.

I ha' heard of that Widgin , I ha' beene taken for him , and now I thinke on 't , A cup of this is better then our foure shilling Beere at home .

Lieu. You must drink another Sir , you drunk to no body . Tim.

Is it the law , that if a man drinks to no body , hee must drinke againe .

Omnes . I , I , I . Fill his glasse . Tim.

Why , then I will drinke to no body once more , because I will drinke againe .

Alex. Did I not tell yee . More wine there Drawer . Sue . This Pageant 's worth the seeing by this hand . Tim.

Mee thinks this glasse was better then the to'ther Gentlemen .

Capt. Oh Sir , the deeper the sweeter euer . Tim. Doe yee thinke so ? Lieu. Euer that when yee drinke to no body . Tim.

Why then I pray giue me tother cup that I may drinke to some body .

Bawd . I haue not drunke yet sir . Alex.

Againe ye Witch ? drinke to the young Gentlewoman .

Tim. Mistris Lindabrides . Sue . Thanks most ingenious sir . Ant.

Shee 's a little shame fac'd , the deeper the sweeter forsooth .

Tim. Pox on ye for a Coxcombe . Enter Antient . Ant

I' th next roome I haue seene and heard all . — Oh noble Souldiers .

Tim.

Here Boyes , giue vs some more wine . There 's hundred Markes Gallants . 'T is your owne . And doe but let mee beare on Office amongst yee . I know as great a matter has beene done for as small a summe . Pray let mee follow the fashion .

Capt.

Well , for once take vp the money , Giue mee a cup of Sacke . And giue me your hand sir , and because our Flemish Corporall was lately choakt at Delph with a Flap-dragon . Beare you his name and place , and be henceforth call'd Corporall Codshead . Let the health goe round .

Tim.

Round . And this goe not round . Some wine there Tapster . Is there ne're a Tapster i' th house ?

— Antient she was himselfe . Alex.

My worthy friend , thou art Master of thy word , Gentlemen 't is Auntient Young , y' are Souldiers , come come , saue cap , complement in cup . Prithee sit downe .

Ant. Are you a Captaine sir ? Cap. Yes . Ant. And you a Lieutenant . Cap. Yes . Ant. I pray where serued you last ? Cap. Why , at the battell of Prague . Ant. Vnder what Colonell . In what Regiment ? Cap.

Why , let me see : but come in company : let 's sit sir . True Souldiers scorne vnnecessary discourse , especially in Tauernes .

Ant. T is true , true Souldiers do : but you are Tauern-rats . Cap. How ? Alex. Prithee . Ant. Foule food that lyes all day vndisgested , Vpon the queasie stomack of some Tauerne , And are spewed out at midnight . Tim. Corporall Codsheads health sir . Ant. In thy face foole . Tim. This is a cruell Antient . Ant. Yee are but the wormes of worth , The sonnes of shame and basenesse , That in a Taverne dares out-sit the Sunne , And rather then a Whore shall part unpledg'd , You 'le pawne your soules for a superfluous cup , Though ye cast it into the reckoning , The true souldier , who is all o're , a History of man , Noble , and Valiant , Wisedome is the mould , In which he casts his Actions , such a discreete temperance Doth dayly decke his doings , that by his modesty , He is guest the sonne of merit , and by his mildnesse Is beleeved Valiant , goe , and build no more These ayrie Castles of hatcht fame , which fooles Onely admire and feare you for , the wise-man Derides and jeeres ye puffes really of Vertue and Vallor ? ( These faire twinnes That are borne , breath and die together ) then You le no more be cal'd butterflies , but men : Thinke on 't , and pay your reckoning . Exit . Cap. Shall we suffer this Saunder ? Ale . I must goe after him . Sue .

Kill him , and there be no more men in Christendome .

Ale .

I know my Sister loves him , and hee sweares hee loves her , — and by this hand , it shall goe hard if hee have her not , smocke and all , brave excellent man , with what a strength of zeale wee admire that goodnesse in another , which we cannot call our owne . Exit .

Lieu. Hee 's a dead man I warrant him . Cap. But where 's our Corporal , Corporall , Corporall ? Tim.

Well , here 's your Corporall , and you lookes out can be quiet .

Sue .

Looke and he have not insconst himselfe in a woodden Castle ?

Tim. Is he gone that cal'd us butter-flies ? Bawd .

Yes , yes , has taken wing , and your Brother 's gone after him , to fight with him .

Tim.

That s well , he cannot in conscience but doe us the curtesie and kill him for us , come gallants , what shall wee doe ? I le never goe home to go to bed with my guts full of foure shillings beere , when I may replenish them with Sacke , — Hay , now am I as lusty , me thinkes wee two have blew beards , is there nere a wench to be had ? Drawer bring us up impossibilities , an honest Whore , and a conscionable reckoning .

Lieu. Why here 's all fier , wit , where he will or no . Sue .

Ah whore , ô tempting , handsome Sir , thinke of a rich Wife rather .

Tim.

Tempting handsome Sir , shee is not married is she Gentlemen ?

Cap.

A woodcock spring'd , let us but keepe him in this bachavalian mist till morning , and 't is done .

Tim.

Tempting handsome Sir , I have knowne a woman of handsome tempting fortunes , throw her selfe away upon a handsome tempting Sir .

Lieu.

Harke you sir , if shee had , and coo'd bee tempted too 't , have you a mind to marry : woo'd ye marry her ?

Tim. Oh , and a man were so , worthy tempting Sir . Lieu. Give me but a piece from you . Tim. And when will you give it me againe ? Lieu.

Pray give mee but a piece from you , I le pay this reckning into th' bagaine againe , and if I have not a tricke to make it your owne , I le give you ten for 't — here 's my witnesse .

Tim.

There 't is , send thee good lucke with 't , and goe drunke to bed .

Lieu.

Do not you be too rash , for she observes you , and is infinitely affected to good breeding .

Tim.

I wonnot speake I tell you , till you hold up your finger , or fall a whistling .

Cap

Come , wee le pay at Barre , and to the Miter in Bredstreete , wee le make a mad night on 't , please ye sweete Ladies but to walke into Bredstreete , this gentleman has a foolish sleight supper , and he most ingenuously professes , it would appeare to him , the Meridian Altitude of his desired happinesse , but to have the table deckt with a paire of perfections , so exquisitely refulgent .

Tim. He talks all sacke , and he wil drinke no small Beere : Bawd Pray leade , and he shall follow . Sue . Blesse mine eyes , my heart is ful of changes . Exit . Tim.

Oh , is it so , I have heard there be more changes in a womans heart in an houre , then can be rung up on sixe bells , seven dayes , well go thy wayes , little do'st thou think how thou shalt be betrayed , within this foure and twenty houres , thou shalt be mine owne Wife , flesh and blood , by Father and Mother , ô tempting hansome Sir .

Exeunt .
Actus . 3. Scaena . 1. Enter Iohn , and the Mayd . Iohn .

But sirrah , can'st tell what my Mistresse meanes to doe with her suiters ?

Mayd .

Nay , nay , I know not , but there is one of them I am sure worth looking after .

Iohn . Which is he , I prithee ? Mayd . Oh Iohn , Master Randall , Iohn . Iohn . The Welchman . Maid .

The witty man , the pretty man , the singing man , he has the dantiest dittie , so full of pith , so full of spirit , as they say .

Iohn . Ditties , they are the ends of old Ballets . Maid .

Old ends , I am sure they are new beginnings with me .

Iohn . Here comes my Mistresse : Enter Widdow , and Iarvis . Wid. Who was that knokt at ' Gate ? Lar. Why your welch wooer . Mayd .

Alas , the sight on 's eyes enough to singe my little Maydenhead , I shall never be able to endure him .

Exit Mayd . Enter Randall . Rand. When high King Henry , second rul'd this land , the couple of her name , Besides her Queene , was teerely lou'd , a faire and Princely — Widdowes ,

Harke you Widdowes , Randals was disturb'd in cogitations , about Lands , Ploughs , and Cheese presses in Wales , and becat her have forgot where her , and her meete soone at pright darke Evenings .

Wid. Why on the Change , in the Dutch walkes . Rand.

Oh haw , have her — but Randals was talke no Dutch , pray meete her in the Welch walke , was no Welch walke there ?

Wid. Fie , no , there are no Welch Merchants there . Ran.

Mas , was ferry true , was aule Shentlemen in Wales , her never saw her Shamber-maid , pray where was her Shamber-maid ?

Iar. Taken up i' th Kitchin Sir . Rand.

Can her make wedding pedd pravely for Randals , and Widdowes ?

Wid. Pray tell him Iarvis where she can or no . Iar.

Sir , not to delay , but to debellitate the strength of your Active apprehension of my Mistresse favour .

Rand. Was ferry good woords . Iar.

Hearke in your eare , shee will have her nest feathered with no Brittish breed .

Randall .

Zounds , was not Prittish so good as English ?

Iar.

Yes , Where ther 's Wisedome , Witt , and Valour , but as amongst our English , wee may have one Foole , a Knave , a Coxecombe , and a Coward , shee bid mee tell yee , shee has seene such wonders come out of Wales in one shirt , y' are an Asse , and shee le have none of you

Rand.

Augh , S. Tauie , Owen Morgan , and aule her Cosins , was Widdow her selfe say so ?

Wid.

Good sir , let every circumstance make up one answere , take it with you .

Iaruis.

And the Romane answere is , the English goose Sir .

Rand.

Sounds , her was kill now , gog , and gogmagog , a whole dozen of shiants , make foole of Randals , Randalls was wisht to as prave match as widows was , know one Mary Bloodhound , was ha aule , when her father kicke up heeles , and becat though her never saw her , her will send her Love letters presently , get her good wills , and goe to shurch and marry , and her were eight and thirtie , two hundred and nine and fifty widdowes , marke her now .

Iar. He pelts as he goes pittifully . Enter Mary . Wid: Where 's Mary ? Iohn . Mary . Wid.

Pray goe to Algate , to my Sempstris for my ruffe , I must use it say too morrow , did yee bid her hollow it just in the French fashion cut ?

Mayd . Yes forsooth . Wid.

T was well , we have no other proofe in use , that we are English , if wee doe not Zany them , let Iohn goe with you .

Mayd . Yes forsooth : Exit . Iar.

But pray forsooth , how doe you meane to dispose of your suitors ?

Wid.

Shall I tell thee , for this thou hast given him this cure , and he is past care , for old Bloodbound the Saw-monger , I writ to him , to meet me soone at ten in the darke , vpon the change , and if I come not by ten , he should stay while twelue , intimating something mystically , that to avoid surprizalls of other Rivals , I meane to goe from thence with him to lye at his house all night , and goe to Church with him i' th morning , when my meaning is onely knavery , to make my selfe merry , and let him coole his heeles there till morning .

Iar.

And now have I a whimsey , newly jumpt into the coll of ingenious apprehensive , to sawce him daintily , that for that , what thinke yee of the Gentleman that brought a stoole with him out of the Hall , and sate downe at dinner with ye in the parler ?

Wid.

They say hee 's an Ancient , but I affect not his Collours .

Iar. But what say ye to the mad victorious Alexander ? Wid. A wild mad Roarer , a trouble not worth minding . Iar.

Hee will minde you ere morning : troth Mistris There waytes a Gentleman i' th next roome , that hath a long time loued you , and has watcht for such an houre , when all was out of doores , to tell you so ; and none being within but you and I , hee desires you would heare him speake , and there 's an end on 't .

Wid. What is he ? Iar. An honest man . Wid. How know yee ? Iar. Why , he told me so . Wid.

And why were you such a foole to take his owne word ?

Iar.

Because all the witte I had cood get no bodies else .

Wid. A Knaue will euer tell you he 's an honest man . Iar.

But an honest man will neuer tell you hee 's a knaue .

Wid.

Well sir , your Mistresse dares looke vpon the honest man .

Iar.

And the honest man dares looke vpon my Mistresse . Exit .

Wid. 'T is the roughest bluntest Fellow .

Yet when I take young Bloodhound to a retired collection of scattered iudgement , which often lyes disioynted , with the confused distraction of so many : Mee thinks he dwells in my opinion , a right ingenious spirit , vailde meerely with the vanity of youth and wildnesse : he lookes mee thinks like one that could retract himselfe from his mad starts , and when he pleased turne tame : his hansome wildnesse mee thinkes becomes him , could hee keepe it bounded in Thrift and Temperance : but downe these thoughts , my resolue rests here in priuate , — But from a foole , a Miser , and a man too iealous for a little sweetnesse loue , Cupid defend me .

Enter like a Gentleman very braue with Iaruis cloathes in 's hand . Iar. And to a Widdow wife , Nobly liberall , and discreetely Credulous , Cupid hath sent me . Wid.

Pray prooue as you appeare a Gentleman . Why Iaruis ?

Iar.

Looke yee here 's Iaruis hangs by Geometry , and here 's the Gentleman . For lesse I am not that afarre off taken with the Sainted praises of your wealthy beauty , your person , wisedome , modesty , and all that can make woman gracious , in this habite sought and obtayn'd your seruice .

Wid. For heauens sake what 's your intent ? Iar. I loue you . Wid. Pray keepe off . Iar. I wood keepe from you . Had my desires bodies How I cood beate them into better fashion , And teach them Temperance , For I rid to finde you ; And at a meeting amongst many Dames , I saw you first : Oh how your taking eyes , Those actiues sparkling sweet discouered twins , In their strong captiuating motion , told me The story of your heart , a 1000 Cupids Me thought sate playing on that payre of Christails , Carrying to the swiftnesse of couetous Fancie , The very letters we spell loue with . Wid. Fie . Fie . Iar. I haue strucke her to the heart , through my face Apparelled with this field of grauity , The neglected roughnesse of a Souldiers dart .

These diamond pointed eyes but hither through , and you will see a young spring on 't , but question times fayre ones .

They 'le confesse , tho with a blush they haue often found good wine at an old bush . My blood is young , and full of amorous heates , which but brancht out into these lusty veynes ,

Wood play , and dally , and in wanton Turnings Wood teach you strange constructions .

Let time and place then with Loues old friend oportunity instruct you to be wise .

Wid.

'Las Sir , where learned you to catch occasions thus ?

Iar.

Of a Lawyers Clarke wench , that with sixe such Catches , leapt in fiue yeares from his Deske to his Coach drawne with foure horses .

Wid. Doe yee meane marriage ? Iar.

Marriage a cloying meate , marry who thou woot to make a shew to shrowd thee from the stormes round headed opinion , that swayes all the world , may let fall on thee . Me Cozen ? thou shalt call once in a moneth , or so : I 'le reade false Letters from a farre distant Vncle , insert his commendations to thee , hug thy beleeuing husband into a payre of hansome hornes . Looke vpon him with one eye , and winke vpon thee with tother . Woodst haue any more ?

Wid.

The returne of Seruants , or some friendly visite will intercept vs now : reassume your habit , and bee but Iaruis till to morrow morning , I now by the potent truth of friendship , I will giue you plenty of cause to confesse I loue you truly , and strongly .

Iar. Y' are in earnest . Wid. On my life serious , let this kisse seale it . Iar. The softest wax euer seal'd bawdy businesse .

Now for old Bloodbound , I will meet you vpon the Change Sir , with a blinde bargaine , and then helpe your sonne to a good penny-worth : this night shall be all mirth , a Mistris of delight . Exeunt .

Enter Bloodhound , Earelacke with Letters , Sim , and Moll . Blood .

Nay , nay , nay , marke what followes , I must bring her home darke , turne her vp to bed , and heere she goes to Church : my Cloake sirrah .

Sim.

'T is a very darke night sir , you will not haue a cloake for the rayne .

Blood .

I am going to steale the Widdow from I know not how many .

Sim.

Nay , then I let your cloake for the raine alone , and fetch you a cloake for your knaverie . Exit .

Blood . To bed , to bed — good sonne , what Sim I say . Mol. Sir . Blood .

I charge yee let not one bee vp i th' house , but your selfe , after the clocke strikes ten , nor a light bee stirring , Moll , Tricke up the greene bed-chamber very daintily .

Sim I shall Sir . Blood .

And well remembred Moll , the keyes of my Compting house , are in the left pocket of my hose above i' th wicker chayre , looke to them and haue a care of the blacke boxe there I have often told thee of , looke to that as to thy Maydenhead .

Moll . I shall sir . Blood . Pray for me all , pray for me all . Sim. Have you left out any thing for supper ? Blood .

Out Rogue shall not I bee at infinite expence to morrow , fast too night , and pray for me .

Sim.

An old diuell in a greasie Sattin doublet , keepe you company .

Blood . Ha , what 's that ? Sim.

I say , the Sattin doublet you will weare too morrow , will be the best in the company sir .

Blood .

That 's true , that s true , I come Widdow , I come Wench .

Moll .

Oh sweete Sim , what shall I doe to morrow , to morrow must be the day , the dolefull day , the dismall day , alas Sim , what dost thou thinke in thy con-science I shall do with an old man ?

Sim.

Nay , y' are well enough served , you know how your brother not an houre agoe , lay at you to have the Ancient , one that your teeth ee'ne water at , and yet you cry , I cannot love him , I wonnot have him .

Moll .

I coo'd willingly marry him , if I might doe nothing but looke on him all day , where he might not see me , but to he with him , alas I shal be undone the first night .

Sim.

That 's true , how will you goe to bed else , but remember hee is a man of Warre , an Ancient , you are his colours , now when he has nimbly display'd ye , and hansomly foulded ye up against the next fight , then we shall have you cry , ô sweete Sim , I had beene undone , if I had not beene vndone .

Moll .

Nay , and then the olde fellow would mumble mee to bed .

Sim.

A bed , a Bawd with two teeth would not mumble Bacon , so then hee so sparing you , shall weare nothing , but from the Brokers at second hand , when being an Ancients wife , you shal be sure to flourish .

Moll .

Prithee goe in and busie the old man with a piece of Reynard the Foxe , that he may not disturbe us , for at this houre I expect Ancient Yong , and my Brother .

Sim.

Well , I leave you to the managing of Ancient Yong , while I goe in and flappe the olde man i' th mouth with a Foxe tayle . Exit .

Enter Alexander , and Ancient . Moll .

Look , look , & he have not brought him just upon the minute , ô sweete silken Ancient , my minde gives mee , thee and I shall dance the shaking of the sheetes together .

Alex.

Now , you Mistresse fig-taile , is the Wind come about yet , I ha brought the Gentleman , doe not you tell him now , you had rather have his roome then his company , and so shew your breeding .

Moll .

Now fie upon you , by this light y' are the wicked'st fellow , my Brother but abuses you , pray Sir goe over againe , yo 'ue a hansome spying wit , you may send more trueth over in one of your well pen'd pamphlets , then all the weekely newes we buy for our penny .

Ant. Poxe on 't , I le stay no longer . Alex.

Sfoote thou shalt stay longer , we 'le stay her heart her guts out .

Moll . Ha , ha , how will you doe for a sister then ? Alex. Prithee Moll doe , doe but looke upon him ? Moll . Yes , when I ha no better obiect . Alex.

What canst thou see in him thou unhansome hideous thing , that merrits not above thee ?

Moll . What woo'd I give to kisse him ? Alex.

Has hee not a hansome body , streight leg'd , a good face .

Moll .

Yes , but his lips looke as if they were as hard as his heart .

Ant. Foote , shall try that presently . Moll . Y' are basely sir conditioned , — Pagh . Alex. Why , doe you spit ? Moll . Yee may goe by this light , he kisses sweetly . Alex.

Doe but stay a little Moll , prithe Moll , thou knowest my Father has wrong'd him ; make him amends and marry him .

Moll . Sweet M. Spendall spare your busie breath , I must haue a wise man , or else none . Alex. And is not he a wise man ? Moll . No . Alex. Why ? Moll . Because he keepes a foole company . Alex. Why , you are now in 's company . Moll .

But birds of a feather will fly together , and you and he are seldome asunder .

Alex.

Why you young witch , call your elder brother foole ; but goe thy wayes , and keepe thy maydenhead till it grow more deseruedly despised , then are the olde base bootes of a halfe stewed Pander : Leade a Welch Morris with the Apes in hell amongst the little deuills , — or when thou shalt lye sighing , by the side of some rich foole , — remember thou thing of threed and needles , not worth three pence halfe penny .

Moll .

Too late I feare I ha' beene too coy , you are to be married then sir ?

Ant. I am indeed sweet Mistresse , to a Mayd Of excellent parentage , breeding , and beauty . Alex. I ha' thought of such Musitians for thee . Ant.

But let it not be any way distastfull vnto you , that thus I tri'd you , for your brother perswaded mee to pretend loue to you , that he might perceiue how your minde stood to marriage , in that ( as I guesse ) hee has a husband kept in store for you .

Alex. I , I haue prouided a husband for thee Moll . Moll .

But I 'le haue no husband of your prouiding , for alas now shall haue the old man whether I will or no .

Alex.

I haue such a stripling for thee , he wants one eye , and is crooked leg'd , but that was broke at Footbale .

Ant. Alas , we cannot mould men you know . Alex. Hee 's rich , hee 's rich Moll . Moll .

Ha 'him and his riches good sir , y' are to be married in earnest .

Alex.

In earnest ; why , doe yee thinke men marry as Fencers sometimes fight , in iest ?

Alex.

Shall I shew her Mistresse Elizabeths Letter I snatcht from thee ?

Ant. Not , and thou louest me . Moll .

Good brother let me see 't , sweet brother , dainty brother , hony brother .

Alex

No indeed , you shall not see 't , sweet sister , dainty sister , hony sister .

Moll .

Oh good sir , since so long time I haue loued you , let me not dye for your sake .

Alex. The tide turnes . Ant. Long time loued me ? Moll . Long ere you went to Sea I did . I haue loued you very long with all my heart . Alex.

Thinke of Besse ; thinke of Besse , 't is the better match .

Moll .

Ye wicked brother , Indeede I loue you better , then all the Besses in the world , and if to night I shift not into better fortunes , to morrow I am made the miserablest wife marriage and misery can produce .

Alex. Is 't possible ? Moll .

Alas Sir , I am to mary an old man , a very old man , trust mee , I was strange in the nice timerous temper of a Maid , I know against our sexe to say we love , but rather then to match with sixty and ten , threescore and ten times I woo'd tell you so , and tell them ten times over too , trueth loves not vertue with more of vertuous trueth , then I doe you , and wonnot you love me then ? Weepes .

Ant.

And lye with thee too by this hand Wench , come let us have faire weather , thou art mine , I am thine , there 's an end of the businesse , this was but a tricke , ther 's the projector .

Moll . Oh y' are a sweete brother . Alex.

And now th' art my sweete Sister , I know the old man 's gone to meete with an old wench that will meet with him , or Iarvis has no juice in 's brains , and while I i' th meane time , set another wheele a going at the Widowes , doe thou soone about ten , for 't is to bee very conveniently darke , meete this Gentleman at the Nags head corner , iust against Leaden-hill , wee lie in Lime-streete , thither he shall carry thee , Accomodate thee daintily , all night with Mistris Dorothy , and marry thee i' th morning very Methodically .

Moll .

But I haue the charge of my Fathers keyes , where all his writings lye .

Ant.

How all things jumpe in a just equivalencie , to keepe thee from the thing of threescore and ten , didst thou not see my Morgage lately there ?

Moll . Stay , stay . Alex A white devil with a red fox taile , in a black box . Mol

But yesterday my father shewed it me ; & swears if I pleased him wel , it should serve to iump out my portion .

Ant.

Prove thine old Dad a Prophet , bring it with thee Wench .

Moll

But now at 's parting , hee charged me to have a care to that , as to my Maydenhead .

Alex.

Why , fine have thy Maidenhead and that into the bargaine , thy charge is perform'd , away , get thee in , forget not the houre , and you had better fight under Ancient Yongs colours , then the old Mans standard of sixty and ten . Exit .

Mol. Remember this , mad-braine . Exit .
Actus 4. Scaena . 1. Enter Sue , Tim , Captaine , and Bawd . Tim.

Ha , ha , ha , Grandmother , I le tell thee the best jest .

Sue . Prithee chicke . Bawd .

Iest kether , here will bee jesting of all sides I thinke , if Iarvis keepe his word .

Tim.

Sirrah , whilest thou wert sent for into the next roome , up came our second course , amongst others in a dish of blackebirds , there lay one , that I swore was a Woodcocke , you were at Table Captaine .

Cap.

That I was , and our brave mad crew , which for my sake you were pleas'd to make welcome .

Tim.

Pish , we 'le have as many more to morrow night , but still I swore t was a Woodcocke : she swore 't was a backe-Bird , now who shall we be tryed by , but Serieant Sliceman , Captaine Carveguts Cozen here , a trifling wager , a matter of the reckoning was layd , the Serieant swore t vvas a backe-Bird , I presently payd the reckoning , and she clapt of the brest presently , and swore 't was a Woodcocke , as if any other wood passe after the reckoning was paid .

Bawd . This was a pretty one I protest . Tim.

Made sure before such a mad crew of witnesses , sirrah , Granham , al 's agreed , Sue's — .

Sue .

I you may see , how you men can betray poore maids .

Enter Lieutenant . Lieu:

Do you heare Corporal , yonder 's Serieant Sliceman , and the brave crew that supt with us have cal'd for three or foure gallons of wine , and are offering money .

Tim.

How , prithee Granham looke to Dab , doe you two but hold them in a talke , whilst I steale downe and pay the reckoning .

Lieu. Doo 't daintily , theyl 'e stay all night . Tim.

That 's it I would have man , wee le make them all drunke , they 'le never leave us else , and still as it comes to a crowne , I le steale downe and pay it in spite of their teeth , remember therefore that yee make them all drunke , but be sure you keepe me sober to pay the reckonings .

Omnes . Agreed , agreed . Bawd . Oh Iarvis , Iarvis , how I long till I see thee . Exeunt . Enter Mol Bloodhound , and Sim , with a letter , Mol.

There wee must meet soone , and bee married to morrow morning , Sim , is 't not a mad brother ?

Sim. Yes , and I can tell you newes of a mad Lover . Moll . What is he in the name of Cupid ? Sim.

Why one Master Randals , a Welchman , I have had such a fit with him , he sayes he was wisht to very wealthy Widdow , but of you he has heard much Histories , that he will marry you , though he never saw you , and that the parboyl'd Aetna of his bosome , might be quencht by the consequent pastime , in the prittish flames of his prittish blood , he salutes you with that love letter .

Mol. This is a mad Lover indeede , prethee reade it . Sim ,

Mas , has writ it in Welch English , we had beene spoil'd else , for want of an interpreter , but thus he begins , Mistresse Maries .

Mol. He makes two Maries serve one Mistresse ? Sim.

Ever while you live , 't is your first rule in Weleh Grammers , that her forsake Widdowes , and take Maids , was no creete wonder , for Sentlemen ever love the first cut .

Mol.

But not o' th Coxecombe , hee should have put in that .

Sim.

The Coxecombe followes by consequence , marke else . I Randall cracke , of Carmaerden , doe love thee Mary Ploodbounds , of Hounds-ditch , dwelling Aulgate , and Pishops gate , iust as betweene hawke and buzzard .

Moll . Hee makes an indifferent wooing , Sim.

And that her loves Maryes so monstrous , yet never saw her , was because her heare her in all Societies so ferry fillanously commended , but specially before one Master pussie Constables of her Parish , who made her selfe halfe fox't by swearing by the Wines , that Maries woo'd be monstrous good Marriages for Randals .

Mol. Master busie it seemes was not idle . Sim.

If Maries can love a Prittaine of the plood of Cadwalader , which Cadwalader , was Prutes great Grandfather . Randalls was come in proper persons , pring round sillings in her pockets , get fathers good will , and go to Surch a Sunday , with a whole dozen of Welch Harps before her , so her rest her constant Lovers , Randall William , ap Thomas , ap Tavy , ap Robert , ap Rice , ap Sheffery , Cracke .

Mol. Fie , what shall I doe with all them ? Sim.

Why , he sayd , these all rest your constant Louers , whereof , for manners sake , hee puts himselfe in the first place ; he will call here presently , will you answere him by Letter or word of mouth .

Mol. Troth , neither of either , so let him understand . Sim. Will ye not answere the Love-sicke gentleman . Mol.

If hee bee sicke with the loue of mee , prithee tell him , I cannot endure him , let him make a vertue of necessitie , and apply my hate for 's health .

Sim.

I , but I le haue more care of the Gentleman I warrant you , if I doe not make my selfe merry , and startle your mid-night meeting , say Sim has no more wit then his Godfathers , and they were both Head-men of this Parish .

Enter Randalls . Ran. Farewell Widdowes prove , her sall no Randals haue , Widdowes was ferry full of wiles , Mary Ploodhounds now , Randals make a vow , Was runne for Moll a couple of miles . Honest Simkins , what sayd Mariee to Randals Letters ? Sam. Y' are a mad man . Rand. Augh , her was very clad her was mad . Sim.

The old man has money enough for her , and if you marry her , as if your proiect take , you may , shee le take you more then a man .

Ram. More then mans , what the ? Sim.

Trough cannot you tell that , this is the trueth on 't , she wood be married to morrow , to one Ancient Yong a fellow she cannot endure , now she sayes , if you coo'd meete her privatly to night , betwen ten & eleven , iust at the great Crosse-way , by the Nags head Taverne at Leaden-hall .

Ran.

Was high , high pumpe , there as her turne into Graces streete .

Sim.

There s the very place , now because you come the welcomest man in the world to hinder the match against her mind with the Ancient , there she will meete you , goe with you to your lodging , lie there all night , and bee married to you i' th morning at the Tower , as soon as you shall please .

Rand.

Becat her will goe and prepare Priests presently , looke yee Simkins , there is a great deale of round sillings for her , her was very lucky sillings , for came to Randalls shust for all the World as Fortune was come to Foole , tell Maryes , her will meete her , her warrant her , make many puppy Fooles of Ancients , and loue her very monstrously . Exit .

Sim.

Ha , ha , ha , so , so , this midnight match shall bee mine , shee told mee shee was to meete the Ancient there , I le bee sure the Ancient shall meete him there , so I shall lye a bedde to laugh , to thinke if hee meete her there , how she will bee startled , and if the Ancient meete him there , how hee will bee cudgelled , beware your ribbs Master Randall . Exit .

Enter old Bloudhound . Blood .

I wonder where this young rogue spends the day , I heare hee has receiued my hundred Marks , and my aduantage with it and it may be , hee went home since I went out . Iaruis was with me but euen now , and bid mee watch , and narrowly , for feare of some of my Riuall spies : For I know shee has many wealthy Suitours , all loue money . This Iaruis is most neate in a loue businesse ; and when we are married because many mouthes much meate , I will requite his curtesie , and turne him away ; the Widdowe 's all I looke for . — Nay , let her fling to see I haue her possessions , there 's a Saw for 't .

There 's thriving in Wiving : For when we burie Wiues by halfe-dozens , the Money makes marrie . Oh money , money , money , I will build thee An Altar on my heart , and offer to thee Enter Iohn and Iaruis My morning longings , and my euening wishes , And hadst thou life , kill thee with couetous kisses . Ioh.

But now and shee speake shee spoiles all , or if hee call her by my Mistris his name , hast thou no : trickes to enioyne them both to silence till they come sure .

Iar.

Phaw , that 's a stale one , she shall speake to him in her owne accent , hee shall call her by her owne name leauing out the Bawd , yet she shall violently beleeue he loues her , and hee shall confidently beleeue the same which hee requires , and she but presents . Enter Mistris Coote .

Fall off , shee comes . Bawd . Iaruis . Iar.

Here I haue discouered him , 't is he by his coughes , remember your instructions , & vse few words , for though till to night you knew it not , and will he married early in the morning , to preuent a Vintners Widdow , that layes clayme to him .

Blood . Iaruis . Bawd . Good old man , I know him by his tongue . Blood . Is shee come ? is shee come Iaruis ? Iar.

Aske her if shee wood liue sir , shee walkes a loose yonder .

Blood . We shall cozen all her woers . Iar.

Nay , amongst all of you , wee le cozen one great one , that had layd a pernitious plot this night , with a cluster of his roaring friends to surprize her , carry her downe to the water side , pop her in at Puddle-dock , and carry her to Graues end in a payre of Oares .

Blood . What , what is his name I prithee . Iar.

Hee 's a Knight abounding in deedes of charity , his name Sir Nicholas Name .

Blood . And wood he pop her in at Puddle-dock ? Iar. And he cood but get her downe there . Blood .

By my troath we shall pop him fairely , where is shee ? where is shee ?

Iar.

Ha , doe you not perceiue a fellow walke vp and downe muffled yonder ?

Blood . There is something walkes . Iar.

That fellow has dogd vs all the way , and I feare all is frustrate .

Blood . Not I hope man . Bawd . This t is to be in loue , if I doe not dwindle . Iar. I know him now . Blood . T is none of Sir Nicholas spies , is 't ? Iar. Hee serues him . Blood . He wonnot murder mee , will hee ? Iar.

He shall not touch you , onely I remember this after-noone , this Fellow by what he had gathered by caues dropping , or by frequent obseruation , ask'd me priuately if there were no meeting betwixt you and my Mistris to night in this place , for a Widdow hee said hee knew you were to meete .

Blood . Good . Iar.

Now I hansomly threw dust in 's eyes , and yet kept the plot swift a foote too , I told him you were heere to meete a Widdow too , whom you long loued , but would not let her know 't till this after-noone , naming to him one of my Aunts , a Widdow by Fleete-Ditch , her name is Mistris Gray , and she keepes diuers Gentlewomen lodgers .

Blood . Good agen . Iar.

To turne the sent then , and to cheat Inquisition the more ingeniously .

Blood . And to bob Sir Nicholas most neatly . Iar.

Bee sure all this night studably in the hearing of any that ye shall but suspect to be within hearing to call her nothing but Mistris Coote .

Blood . Or Widdow Coote . Iar.

Yes , you may put her in so , but bee sure you cohere in every particle , with the precedent Fallacie , as that you haue loved her long , tho till this day , and so as I did demonstrate .

Blood .

But how and she woo'd say she is not Widdow Come , and that she knowes no such woman , and so spoile all ?

Iar.

Trust that with her wit , and my instructions wee suspected a spie , and therefore she will change her voice .

Blood . Thou hast a delicate Mistris of her . Iar.

One thing more , and yee meete presently , mine Aunt has had mine husbands , tell her you le hazard a limbe and make the tenth .

Blood .

Prithee let me alone , and Sir Nicholas were here himselfe , he shoo'd sweare 't were thine Aunt .

Iar.

Goe forwards towards him , bee not too full of pratle , but make use of your instructions .

Blood . Who 's there , Widdow Coote ? Bawd . Master Bloodbound as I take it . Blood .

Shee changes her voice bravely , I must tell thee true Widdow , I have loved thee long time , looke how the Rogue lookes , but had never the wit to let thee know it till to day .

Bawd . So I was given to understand Sir . Iar. Is 't not a foole finely ? Iohn . Hansome by this hand . Blood .

I like thy dwelling well upon the Fleete ditch .

Bawd .

A pretty wholesome Ayre Sir , in the Summer time .

Blood . Who would thinke 't were she Iarvis ? Iar. I told ye she was tutor'd . Blood .

I le home with her presently , some stayes up i' th darke .

Iar.

Foole and he haue any priuate discourse with her , they discouer themselues one to another , and so spoile the plot , no trick , no by no meanes sir , to hazard your person with her , the bold roague may come vp close to discouer her to be my Mistresse , and recouer her with much danger to you .

Blood . Hee has got a dagger . Iar.

And a sword sixe foote in length , I 'le carry her home for you , therefore not a light be stirring ; for I know your Riualls will watch your house , Sim shall shew vs the chamber , wee le conduct her vp i th dark , shut the doore to her aboue , and presently come downe and let you in belowe .

Blood .

There was neuer such a Iaruis heard off , bid Sim to be carefull , by the same token , I told him he shood feed to morrow for all the weeke after : good night Widdow , Coote my man stayeth vp , we will bob Sir Nicholas brauely . Good night sweet widdow Coote . I doe but seeme to part , wee le meete at home wench . — Exit .

Bawd . Adieu my sweet deare heart . Iar.

Goe you with me , so , so , I will Cage this Cookow , and then for my young Madcap , if all hit right , this mornings mirth shall crowne the Craft o' th night , follow mee warily .

Bawd .

I warrant thee Iaruis , let me alone to right my selfe into the garbe of a Lady : Oh strange to see how dreames fall by contraries , I shall bee coacht to morrow , and yet last night dream'd I was carted : prithee keepe a little state , goe Iaruis . Exit

Enter Randall . Randall .

Was ferry exceeding darke , but here is high pumps , sure here is two coppie of crosse wayes , and there was the street where Grace dwells , one hundred pound in mornings in round shillings , and wife worth one thousand ere her goe to bed . Randalls fortunes comes tumbling in , like Lawyers Fees , huddle vpon huddle .

Moll .

Oh sweet Antient , keepe thy word , and winne my heart , They say , a Moone-shine night is good to runne away with another mans wife , but I am sure a darke night is best to steale away my Fathers daughter .

Rand. Mary . Moll .

Oh , are ye come Sir ? there 's a boxe of Land and livings , I know not what ye call it .

Rand. Lands , and livings ? Moll .

Nay , nay , and wee talke , we are undone , doe ye not see the Watch comming up Gracious-streete yonder , this Crosse way was the worst place wee could have met at , but that is yours , and I am yours , but good Sir doe not blame me , that I so suddenly yeelded to your love , alas you know what a match an 't I should have to morrow else .

Rand. Her meanes the scurvy Ancient . Moll .

I' th morning wee shall bee Man and Wife , and then , alas I am undone , the Watch are hard upon us , got you backe through Cornehill , I le runne round about the Change , by the Church corner : downe Cat-eaten streete , and meete you at Bartholomew Lane end . Exit .

Rand.

Cats streete was call her , sure Randalls was wrapt in mothers smocke . Exit .

Enter Constable , and Watch . Const.

Keepe streight towards Bishops-gate , I am deceived and I heard not somebody run that way .

Enter Chamber-maid , Hugh with a Band boxe . Watch .

Stay Sir , here 's somebody come from Aldgate-ward ?

Mayd .

Alas , I shall bee hang'd for staying so long for this Cuffe .

Watch . Come before the Constable here . Mayd .

Let the Constable come before mee and hee please .

Const. How , how , where ha you bin pray Dame , ha ? Mayd

For my Mistresse Ruffe , at her Sempstris Sir , she must needes use it to morrow , and that made mee stay till 't was done .

Const. Pray who 's your Mistris , where dwell ye ? Mayd .

With one Mistris Wagge in Black-Fryers , next to the signe of the Feathers and the Foole sir .

Const.

Oh , I know her very well , make hast home , t is late . Come , come , let 's backe to Gracechurch , all 's well , all 's well .

Enter seuerally Antient and Moll . Ant.

I scapt the Watch at Bishopsgate with ease , there is some body turning downe the Church corner towards the Exchange , it may be Mistris Mary .

Moll . Antient . Ant. Yes . Moll .

Are yee heere againe , you haue nimbly followed me ; what said the Watch to yee ?

Ant. I past them easily , the gates are but now shut in . Moll .

As wee goe , I 'le tell you such a tale of a Welch wooer , and a lamentable Loue-letter .

Ant.

Yes , Sim told mee of such a Rat , and where hee lodges , I thought I should haue met him here .

Moll .

Here , out vpon him : — But the Watches walke their station , and in few words is safety , I hope you will play faire , and lodge mee with the Mayd ye told me of .

Ant.

She stayes vp for vs Wench , in the word of a Gentleman , all shall be faire and ciuill .

Moll . I beleeue you . Exeunt . Enter at seuerall doores Randalls and Mayd . Rand.

Zounes was another Fyer Drake walke in Shange , wee le run packe , mas Maryes haue saued her labours , and was come after Randalls , Maryes was Randall that loues her mightily Maryes .

Mayd . Master Randall . Rand. How did Watch let her goe at Graces street ? Mayd . They knew me , and let me passe . Rand.

Well now , her vnderstands Maryes loues Randalls so mighty deale .

Mayd . If Iohn haue not told him , I 'le be hang'd . Rand.

Maryes shall goe with Randalls to lodgings , and that her Father worke no diuorcements , hee will lye with her aule t'night , and marry her betimes next morning , meane time her will make Lands and Livings fast .

Mayd .

How Father ? this is a mistake sure , and to fashion it fit for mine owne following , I will both question and answere in ambiguities , that if hee snap me any way , I may make my selfe good i th tother , and as hee shall discouer himselfe , I 'le pursue the conceit accordingly : but will yee not deceiue mee , many mindes are many mens Almanacks , the dates of your desire 's out , wee serue for nothing but to light Tobacco .

Rand. If Randall false to Maryes proue , Then let not Maryes Randalls loue : For Randalls was so true as Ioue , And Maryes was her ioy . If Randalls was not Pritaine borne , Let Maryes Randalls prowe adorne . And let her giue a foule great horne to Randalls , Her will loue her cret deale of much her warrant her . Mayd .

And 't is but venturing a maydenhead , if the worst come to the worst , it may come backe with aduantage . Exit .

Enter in her night-cloathes , as going to bed Widdow and Mayd . Wid. Is not Mary come home yet ? Mayd . No forsooth . Wid.

T is a fine time of night , I shall thanke her for 't , 't is past eleuen I am sure . Fetch , the prayer-booke lyes within vpon my bed .

Mayd . Yes forsooth . Exit . Widdow .

I wonder what this Gentleman shood bee that catcht me so like Iarvis , hee saye hee has fitted old Bloodhound according to his qualitie — but I must not let him dally too long upon my daily company , Lust is a hand-woolfe , who with daily feeding , one time or other takes a suddaine start upon his benefactor .

Enter Mayd . Mayd . Oh Mistresse , Mistresie . Wid. What 's the matter wench ? Mayd . A man , a man under your bed Mistresse . Wid. A man , what man ? Mayd :

A neate man , a proper man , a welfavoured man , a hansome man .

Wid. Call up Iohn , where 's Iarvis ? Mayd .

Alas , I had no power to speake , his very lookes are able to make a woman stand as still as a Millers horse when hee s lading , o he comes , he comes . Exit .

Enter Alexander . Wid. How came you hither Sir ? how got you in ? Alex.

As Citizens wives doe into Maskes , whether I woo'd or no nay , nay , doe not doubt the discretion of my constitution : I have brought nere a groat in my bosome , and by this hand , I lay under thy bed , with a heart as honest , and a blood as cold , as had my sister lay near top — will ye have me yet ?

Wid. You are very rude , uncivill fellow . Alex.

Vnciuill , and lay so tame while you set up your foote upon the bed , to untie your shooe , such another word , I will uncivillize that injured civilitie which you so scurvily slander , and reward you with an undecencie proportionable to your understandings , will yee have mee , will you marry mee ?

Wid.

You , why tomorrow morning I am to be married to your Father .

Alex.

What , to sixtie , and I know not how many , that will lie by your side , and divide the houres with coughes , as Cockes doe the night by instinct of Nature .

Wid. And provide for his familie all day . Alex. And onely wish well to a fayre wife all night . Wid. And keepe 's credite all day in all companies . Alex. And discredit himselfe al night in your company . Wid. Fie , fie , pray quite my house Sir . Alex. Yours , 't is my house . Wid. Your house , since when ? Alex.

Even since I was begotten , I was borne too 't , I must have thee , and I will have thee , and this house is mine , and none of thine .

Enter Iarvis . Iar.

Oh Mistris , the saddest Accident i' th streete yonder .

Wid. What Accident prithee ? Iar.

You must pardon my boldnesse , into your bedde-Chamber , there is a Gentleman slaine in a fraye at the doore yonder , and the people wonnot bee perswaded , but that hee that did it , tooke this house , there is the Constable , Church-wardens , and all the Head-men of the Parish , be now searching , and they say they will come up hither to your bed chamber , but they 'le find him , I le keepe them downe as long as I can , I can doe no more then I can . Exit .

Wid. Are not you the murderer Sir ? Alex.

I ha beene under thy bedde by this hand this three houres .

Wid.

Pray get you downe then , they will all come up , and find you here and all , and what will the Parish thinke then ? pray get you downe .

Alex.

No , no , no ; I will not goe downe now I thinke on 't . makes himselfe vnready .

Wid.

Why , what doe you meane , you will not bee so uncivill to unbrace you here ?

Alex.

By these Buckles I will , and what they will thinke on 't —

Wid. Alas , you will undoe me . Alex. No , no , I will undoe my selfe looke ye . Wid.

Good Sir , I will off with my doublet to my very shirt .

Iarvis.

Pray sir have more care of a Womans reputation .

Alex.

Have a care on 't thy selfe Woman , and marry mee then .

Wid.

Shood they come up and see this : what coo'd they thinke , but that some foule uncivill Act of shame had this night stain'd my house , and as good marry him as my name lost for ever .

Alexand.

Will you have mee afore tother sleeve goes off ?

Wid.

Doe , hang your selfe , I will not have you — looke , looke , if he have not pul'd it off quite , why you wonnot pull off your bootes too will you ?

Alex. Breeches and all by this flesh . Wid.

What , and stand naked in a Widdowes Chamber .

Alex.

As naked as Grantham steeple , or the Strand May-pole by this spurre , and what your grave Parishioners will thinke on 't ?

Iar. Gentlemen pray keepe downe . Wid.

Alas , they are at the staires foote , for Heavens sake Sir .

Alex. Will you have me ? Wid. What shall I doe ? no . Alex ,

This is the last time of asking , they come up , and downe goe my breeches , will you have me ?

Widdow . I , I , I , alas , and your breeches go downe I am undone for ever . Alex.

Why then kisse mee upon 't , and yet there 's no cracking your credite , Iarvis is come in , Iarvis .

Enter Iarvis . Iar.

I have kept my promise Sir , y' are catcht the olde one .

Wid. How catcht , is there no body below then ? Iar.

No body but Iohn , for sooth , recovering a Tobacco snuffe , that departed before supper .

Wid. And did you promise this Sir ? Iar.

A woman cannot have a hansomer cloud , then a haire-brain'd Husband : I will be your Cooze , hee shall bee my Cuckold .

Wid. I love ye for your Art . Iarvis.

Come , Come , put on Sir , I have acquainted yee both with your Fathers intended marriage , i' th morning you shall certifie him very earlie by Letter , the qualitie of your fortunes , and returne to your obedience , and that you and your wife , still concealing the parties , will Attend him to Church , Iohn and I le bee there earely , as commanded by my Mistresse , to discharge our attendance : about goes the plot , out comes the proiect , and these 's a wedding dinner drest to your hands .

Alex.

As pat as a fat Heire to a leane Sharke , wee shall hunger for 't , honest Iarvis , I am thy bed-fellow to night , and to morrow thy Master .

Wid. Y' are a fine man to use a woman thus ? Alex.

Pish , Come , come , fine men must use fine Women thus , t is fit , plaine trueth takes Maids , Widdowes , are wonne with wit .

Iarvis.

You shall weare hornes with wisedome , that is in your pocket .

Exeunn .
Actus 5. Scaena . 1. Enter Sim , and Iohn , passing over with a Bason of Rosemary , and a great Flaggon with Wine . Sim.

Come Iohn , carry your hand steddily , the guesse droppe in a pace , doe not let your wine drop on 't .

Iohn .

T is as I told thee , Master Alexander , thy Mistresse eldest sonne will be here .

Sim.

Rose , I pray burne some pitch i' th Parlour , 't is good against ill ayres , Master Alexander will be here .

Exeunt . Enter old Bloodhound , and larvis . Blood .

I am up before yee sonne Earelacke , will Ancient Young bee here with a rich Wife too ? thy Mistresse is not stirring yet sirrah , I le hold my life the Baggage slipe to thy Mistresse , there they have e'ne lockt the doore to them , and are tricking up one another : oh these women ! but this Rogue Tim , hee lay out to night too , he received my hundred Marke , and I feare is murdered : Trusse , Trusse , good Iarvis .

Iar.

He has bin a wooing Sir , and has fetcht over the delicat'st young Virgin , her Father died but a weeke since , and left her to her marriage , five thousand pound in money , and a parcel of Land , worth three hundred Perannum .

Blood .

Nay , nay , 't is like , the boy had ever a captivating tongue to take a woman — o excellent money , excellent money , Mistresse of my devotions , as if my Widdowes estate is little lesse too , and then Sander , he has got a monied woman too , there will be a bulke of money , Sim is puling sir , I may tell thee , one that by natures course , cannot live long : tother , a Mid-night sunset cuts off , then have I a tricke to cozen both their Widdowes , and make all mine , ô Iarvis , what a monied generation shall I then get upon thy Mistresse ?

Iar. A very vertuous brood . Blood . Has't done ? Iar. I have done Sir . Blood .

I le in and get some musicke for thy Mistresse , to quicken her this morning , and then to Church in earnest , 't is done , where is Sir Nicholas Nemo and his words that watch so for her ? Ha , ha , ha , al 's mixt with honey , I have mirth , a sweete young Widdow and her money , ô that sweete Saint , cal'd money .

Enter Alexander , Widdow , Antient , Moll and Sim. Ant.

Ioy I , and a 100 pound a yeere in a black boxe to the bargaine giuen away i' th darke last night , to we know not who , and to be heard of wee know not when . Sfoote and this be ioy , wood we had a handfull , some slice of sorrow to season it .

Alex. By this light 't was strange . Mol.

Beleeue me Sir , I thought I had giuen it you , he that tooke it call'd me by my name .

Sim. Did he speake Welch or English ? Moll .

Alas , I know not , I enioyned him silence seeing the Watch comming , who parted vs .

Sim.

If this were not Master Randalls of Randall Hall that I told yee of , I 'le be fleaed .

Alex.

Be maskt , and with-draw a while , heere comes our Dad .

Enter Bloodhound , Sir Marmaduke Many minds , Sir Ianus Ambodexter , and Master Busie . Blood .

Why Master Busie , asleepe as thou standst man ?

Sim.

Some horse taught him that 't is worth god a mercie .

Const.

I watch all night , I protest Sir the Counters pray for me , I send all in Cut and long taile .

Sir Marma. What , what ? Const.

I sent twelue Gentlewomen , our owne neighbours last night , for being so late but at a womans labour .

Blood .

Alas Sir , a woman in that kind you know must ha' helpe .

Const.

What 's that to me ? I am to take no notice of that , they might haue let her alone till morning , or shee might haue cryed out some other time .

Sir Mar.

Nay , nay , Master Busie knowes his place I warrant yee .

Blood .

Sonne Alexander welcome , and Antient Young to , I haue heard all .

Alex.

You must pardon the meritable rudenesse of the Gentlewomen Sir , in not vnmasking , they entreated mee to informe you : there are some i th house to whom they wood by no meanes be layd open .

Blood . They are witty , they are witty . Alex.

But for my selfe , I am now your most obedient vertuous Alexander .

Blood .

Obedience , hang her vertue , let her starue ; has she money ? hath she money ?

Alex.

Two Chests of siluer , and two Vtropian Trunks , full of gold and Iewels .

Blood . They are all Alexanders women , doe ye marke ? Wid. Alexander was the Conquerour Sir . Blood .

Come , come , wee le to Church presently : Prithee Iaruis whilst the Musicke playes iust vpon the delicious close , vsher in the Brides , the Widdow , and my Moll .

Exit . Sim.

I tell yee true Gallants , I haue seene neither of them to day . Shall I giue him the lye ?

Blood .

They are both lockt vp ifaith , trimming of one another . Oh these women , they are so secret in their businesse , they will make very Coxcombs of vs men , and doo 't at pleasure to , 't is well said friends , play , play , where 's Sim ?

Ant. How he bestirres him . Alex. Yes , he will sweat by and by . Sim Here is the signe of Sim Sir . Blood Haue the guests Rosemary without ? Sim.

They haue Rose the Cooke-mayd without , but they say you haue Mistris Mary within .

Alex. Well said Rascall . Blood .

Marie's aboue good-man Blockhead . Call my sonne Earelack , bid him for shame make hast .

Sim. He shall make hast for shame . Exit . Blood .

I am so busied , you must beare with me Gentlemen , they leaue it all to me here .

Coast.

But I will goe charge some of the inferiour guesse in the Kings name to fill some wine .

Blood .

No , no , good Master Busie , wee will first vsher the brides .

Sim. Oh Gentlemen , where are you ? where are you ? Where are you Gentlemen ? Omnes . What 's the matter ? Blood .

Where 's Moll Sim , the Widdow Sim , the dainty Widdow ?

Sim

There is no Moll , there is no dainty young Widdow , but a damnable Bawd we found a bed with a face like an Apple halfe rosted .

Omnes . How 's this ? Blood . Why Gentlemen ? Ant. Now it workes . Blood .

Iaruis y' are a Roague , a Cut-purse Iaruis , runne Sim , call my sonne Earelack , hee shall put her into the Spirituall Court for this .

Sim.

Nay , has put her in there already , for wee found him a bed with her .

Omnes . Possible . Blood .

Ha Boyes , the Informer and the Bawd , the Bawd and the Informer haue got a deuill betwixt them Gentlemen .

Sim.

Nay Sir , the iest was , that they should fall asleepe together , and forget themselues , for very louingly wee found them together , like the Iemini , or the two Winter mornings met together : Looke , looke , looke where they come Sir , and Iaruis betweene them , iust like the picture of knauery , betwixt fraud and leachery .

Enter Iaruis , Earelack . Iar.

Tim is a puling Sirrah , I may tell it thee , a midnight surfet too may cut off Sander , I 'le cozen their Wiues , make all mine owne , and then , Oh Iaruis what a moneyed generation shall I get , vpon this widdow Coote that hath two teeth .

Blood .

Did wee bring you to Musick with a mischiefe Earlack ? thou art a Goat , thou hast abus'd the best bed in my house , I 'le set a Sumner vpon thee .

Earla.

Bloodhound , thou art a Vsurer , and takest forty in the hundred , I le informe against thee .

Blood . Are you a Bawd huswife , ha ? Bawd .

Alas Sir , I was meerely enuied , betray'd by Iaruis , but as I haue beene Bawd to the flesh , you haue beene Bawd to your money ; so set the Hare Pye against the Goose giblets , and you and I are as daintily matcht as can be sir .

Blood .

Sim , runne to the widdow Wagges , tell her wee are both abus'd , this Iaruis is a Jugler , say .

Ant.

I can saue Sim that labour Sir , I assure you the widdow is married to your sonne Alexander , and as a confirmation she is come her selfe to witnesse it . Discouers .

Alex.

Your faire young daughter is wife to this Antient , who is come likewise to witnesse it .

Wid .

The plaine truth is Master Bloodhound , I would entreate you to keepe the kennell , the younger dogge being of the better sent , has borne the game before yee .

Alex.

We haue clapt hands on 't Sir , and the Priest that shood haue married you to her , is to marry her to me , so sister , talke for your selfe .

Blood .

Ha braue tricks and conceits , can yee dance Master Earelack ?

Earl .

Ha , ha : the old man 's a little mad : but thou art not married Moll ?

Mol.

Yes indeed Sir , and will lye with this Gentleman soone at night : doe you thinke I wood chew Ramme mutton , when I might swallow Venison , that 's none of Venus documents Monsieur Dottevill ?

Earl .

Pox of that Venus , shee is a Whore I warrant her .

Blood .

And were not you the tother Iugler with Iaruis in this , hey passe and repasse .

Alex.

Good Sir be satisfied , the Widdow and my sister sung both one song , and what was 't , but Crabbed age and youth cannot liue together . Now wee perswaded them , and they coo'd not live together , they wood never indure to lie together , this consequently descended , there was the Antecedent , wee clapt hands , sealed lippes , and so fell unto the relative ,

Iar.

This was your bargaine upon the Exchange Sir , and because you have ever beene addicted to old proverbs , and pithy Sawes , pray let mee seale up the mistake with one that will appeare very seasonably .

Blood . And I pray let 's heare it sir . Sim.

You , a new fangled fowler , came to shew your Art i' th darke , but take this trueth , you catcht in trueth a Cookow for 't . Enter Tim.

Blood .

Heyday , wee are cheated by the rule ifaith , now sirrah , they say you are to be married too .

Tim.

Yes indeed Father , I am going to the busines , and Gentlemen all , I am come whether you will or no , to inuite ye all to my marriage , to this Gentlewoman , who though a good face need no Maske ; shee 's maskt to make a man thinke she has a scurvy face , when I know she has a good face , this is Sacke to them and out of their Element .

Blood .

But sirrah , setting aside marriages , where 's my hundred Marke you went to receive ?

Tim.

Hum , upon such a match of mine , talke of a hundred Marke , this is to drinke ignoble sonne shillings beere , a hundred Marke , why your Lawyer there can cleere such a trifle in a Tearme , and his Clients ne're the better .

Blood . Such a match , I pray discover her , what is she ? Tim.

What is shee , heere 's my Brother knowes what shee is well enough , come hither Dab , and bee knowne unto you , her name is Lindabrades , descended from the Emperour Tribatio of Greece , and halfe Neece , some sixe and fiftie descents to most unvanquisht Claridiana .

Alex.

Who 's this ? poxe on 't , what vnmasks her . makes that Bawd yonder ?

Bussy .

I am very much deceiued , and I did not send this Gentlewoman very drunke tother night to 'th Counter .

Tim.

I tell thee pratling Constable , 't is a lye , Lindabrades a Drunkard ?

Alex. Harke ye brother , where lyes her living ? Tim. Where , why in Greece . Alex. In grease . Sim. She lookes as if she had sold Kitchinstuffe . Alex.

This is a common whore , and you a cheated Coxcombe , come hither , you rotten Hospitall , hung round with greasie Sattin , doe not you know this Vermine ?

Bawd .

I winckt at ye Sue , and ye coo'd have seene me , there 's one Iaruis , a rope on him has juggled mee into the sudds too .

Const.

Now I know her name too , doe not you passe under the name of Sue shortheeles , minion ?

Sue .

Goe looke Master little wit , will not any woman thrust her selfe upon a good fortune , when t is offered her ?

Blood .

Sir Marmaduke , you are a Iustice of peace ; I charge ye in the Kings name , you and Master Ambodexter , to assist me with the Whore and the Bawd , to Bridewell .

Sir Mar.

By my troth and we will , by that time we shal have an excellent stomacke by that time dinners ready .

Ambodex. I , I , away with them , away with them . Bawd . Oh this Rogue Iarvis . Exit . Blood .

Now , now , you looke like a melancholly dog , that had lost his dinner , where 's my hundred Markes now you Coxecombe ?

Tim.

Truely father , I have payd some sixeteene reckonings , since I saw you , I was never sober since you sent mee to the Devill yesterday , and for the rest of your money , I sent it to one Captaine Carvegut , he swore to me his Father was my Lord Maiors Cooke , and that by Easter next , you should have the principall , and egges for the use indeed sir .

Blood

Oh Rogue , Rogue , I shall have egges for my money , I must hang my selfe .

Sim.

Not afore dinner pray Sir , the Pyes are almost bak't . Enter Rand.

Rand.

And Maryes now was won , and all her pusinesse done , and Randalls now was runne , her haue made all sure I her warant her .

Alexand.

Looke , looke , yonder 's the conceit , the mistake happened upon last night .

Ant. And the very boxe at 's girdle . Rand.

Cot plesse her Father Ploodhounds , Randals have rob'd Ancients her warrant her .

Ant. Sir 't is knowne how you came by that boxe . Rand.

Augh was her so , will heare an Noble Prittaine , how her gull an English Flag ?

Ant. And you ought to crye . Rand.

Oh noble Randalls , as her meete by Nags-head with Mayres Plood , prave .

Blood . Here 's another mad-man . Ant.

Hearke in your eare , you must deliver that boxe to mee .

Rand.

Hearke in her tother eare , her will not deliver her , and her were nine and forty Ancients , and five and fourescore Flaggs .

Ant.

Let my foe write mine Epitaph , and if I teare not my birth-right from thy bosome ?

Sim.

Gentlemen , there 's Alegant i' th house , pray set no more abroach .

Rand.

Nay let her come with her packe of needles , Randalls can poxe and bob , as well as her , her warrant her .

Blood . What boxe is that ? I shoo'd know that boxe . Ale . I will resolve ye sir , keepe them asunder . Ant. You will restore that boxe ? Rand.

Her will not restore her , 't was Mary Ploodhounds gave her the box , Randals have married Mary Ploodhounds and gul'd Ancients , marke her now .

Wid.

Marke him good Sir , me thinkes he sayes hee has married Mary Bloodhound .

Ant. Hang him , hee 's mad ! Rand.

Zoun's , make Tog of Randalls ? come out here Maries .

Looke here was Mary Ploodhounds . Enter Maid & Hugh . now , I pray tumble downe of her Mary-pones , and aske her father plessing ?

Ale . This , why this is your Maid Widdow , Eare. This is Mary the Widdowes Maid man . Alex.

And here is Mary Ploodhound , my chollericke shredde of Cadwallader , married to this Gentleman , who has a hundred a yeere dangling at your girdle there .

Wid.

I pray Mistresse are you married to this Gentleman ?

Maid .

By sixe i' th morning forsooth , hee tooke mee for Mary Ploodhound , having it seemes , never seene any on 's before , and I being something amorously affected , as they say to his Welch ditties , answered to her name , lay with him all night , and married him this morning , so that as he tooke me for her , I tooke him as he was forsooth .

Sim.

Shee meanes for a foole , I am faine to answere for you .

Blood .

Ha , ha , ha , Cupid this twentie foure houres has done nothing but cut crosse capers .

Alex.

Doe ye heare , sir Bartholomew Bayard , that leape before ye looke , it will hansomly become you , to restore the Boxe to that Gentleman , and the Magnitude of your desiree , upon this daintie , that is so amorouslie taken with your ditties .

Rand. Her waile in woe , her plunge in paine .

And yet becat her doe not neither , Randalls will prove her selfe Prittaines borne , and because her understands Ancients was prave fellowes , and great Travailers , there is her boxe for her .

Ant. I thanke yee . Rand.

And because was no remedies , before her aule , here will Randals embrace Maries , and take a pusse — kisses .

Enter Iarvis brave . Iar. Save ye gallants , doe ye want any guesse ? Call me thy Coz , and carrie it hansomelie . Blood . Who have we here trow ? Alex.

Do'st thou know the Gentleman that whisper'd to thee ?

Wid.

Oh wondrous well , hee bid mee call him Coz , and carrie it hansomely .

Iar. Widdow , wood I were off againe . Wid.

Know all , this Gentleman has to obtaine his Lust , and loose desires , seru'd me this seven moneths , under the shape and name of Iarvis .

Omnes . Possible ? Wid. Looke well , doe ye not know him ? Blood . The very face of Iarvis . Tim. I truely Father , and he were any thing like him , I would sweare 't were he . Iar.

I must cast my skinne ; and am catcht — why Coz .

Wid. Come y' are cozened , And with a Noble craft , he tempted mee In mine owne house , and I bid him keep 's disguise But till this morning and he shoo'd perceive , I loved him truely , intending here before ye , To let him know 't , especially i' th presence Of you Sir , that intend me for your Wife . Ant. What shoo'd this meane ? Alex.

Some witty tricke I warrant thee , prithee dispatch him presently , that we were at Church .

Wid.

First , then know ye for trueth sir , I meane never to marry .

Alex. How Woman ? Sim. She has dispatcht you Sir . Wid:

And for a trueth sir , know you , I never meane to bee your Whore .

Blood . This is strange . Wid. But true , as shee whose chast immaculate soule , Retaines the Noble stampe of her integritie , With an undefac't perfection — perchance as these Nay Common Fame , hath scattered you , conceive me , Because pale jealousie ( Cupids angry Foole ) Was frequent lodger at that signe of Folly ; My husbands soone suspitious heart , that I In a close clouded loosenesse , shoo'd expose him To that desperate distraction of his fortunes , That sent him to the Sea , to nourish her , With your vaine hope , that the Fame of frequent suitors , Was but a Maske of loose scapes , like men at Lotteries : You thought to put in for one Sir , but beleeve me , You have drawne a blanke . Rand. Beca● her looke ferry blacke indeed , Wid. Oh my beloved husband , However in thy life , thy jealousie Sent thee so farre to finde death , I will bee I will be married to nothing but thy memory . Alex. But shall the pyes be spoyl'd then ? Iar. Let her alone , if her husband doe not know this . Omnes . Ha , ha , ha , ha , ha . Blood . Her Husband I told you was a madman . Ant. Why her Husbands dead sir . Iar.

He is not dead Sir , hee had it spread a purpose , he is in England , and in your house , and looke : doe ye not see him ?

Wid. Where , where ? Iar. Here , here hee is that hath found rash iealousie , Loues ioyes , and a wife whose discreet carriage Can intimate to all men a faire freedome . And to one be faithfull , such a wife I proue , Her husbands glory worth a wealthy Loue . Wid. You are welcome to my soule Sir . Blood .

By my troth Master Wag this was a waggs trick indeede , but I knew I know yee , I remembred you a moneth agoe , but that I had forgotten where I saw you .

Sim.

I knew you were a crafty Merchant , you helpt my Master to such bargaines vpon the Exchange last night : here has beene the merriest morning after it .

Alex.

My Pitchers broke iust at the Well head , but giue me leaue to tell you Sir , that you haue a noble Wife , and indeed such a one as wood worthily feast the very discretion of a wise mans desire , her wit ingeniously waytes vpon her vertue , and her vertue aduisedly giues freedome to her wit , but because my marriage shall seriously proceede , I wed my selfe Sir to Obedience , and filiall regularity , and vow to redeeme in the duty of a sonne , the affection of a father .

Rand.

Becat was as well spoke as Randall her selfe cood talke .

Blood .

All is forgotten now my best sonne Alexander , and that my wedding want no good company , I inuite you all .

Iar. Come my deseruing Wife , Wisedome this day remarries vs . And Gentlemen From all our errours wee 'le extract this truth , Where vitious ends prepose , they stand on wheeles , And the least turne of chance throwes vp their heeles : But vertues Louers euer greene doe last , Like Lawrell which no lightening can blast . FINIS .
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fir So I did sir and washt it first in two waters . wanta that when he dyes , the common-wealth may want a good member . shoo●s have put on my Sunday cloathes , 'snailes my shooes are as pale as the cheeke of a stewd Pander checke cloathes , 'snailes my shooes are as pale as the cheeke of a stewd Pander , a clout , a clout Sim Bloodho●nd Enter old Bloodhound , the Widdow , her maid , and man . sit Has he sayd his prayers sir ? Praver Prayer before providence , when did yee know any tha● when did yee know any thrive , and swell that uses it , hee's a chip o'th old blocke , thristy Trust me a thrifty sawe . thought'had Who's this , goodman fyle the black-smith , I thought 'had beene our old collier : did you goe y● How long vvood ye have it ! a●l Ha villaine , shalt have all . oa't Peace , vveele have more on't . 〈…〉 great oath's past , ther's no talke on't , I like him nere the worse , ther's an old ke great oath's past , ther's no talke on't , I like him nere the worse , ther's an old savv penee Cracke say the purse strings , out flie the pence . bovv You have look't in the Church booke late , hovv olde are you Tim ? saverne elder rogue that sucks and dravves mee , a Taverne Accademian : one that protests to Whores greanes , By whom ( vmph ) a yong wench lyes and greaues , for better companie . thrist share betwixt us , there's a new path to thrift wench , wee must live , wee must live girle Betre sweare , I shall drinke nothing but small Beere . pridge whoope , vvhere vvas her novv , just upon a bridge of stone , between the legs of a couple ferry morning was so red as an egge , and the place very full of dangers , perills , and bloody businesses trawne businesses by reports : augh her swords was drawne , God plesse us and her cozen Hercules was pridge therefore her will goe directly vnder the bridge , here was but standing to knees in little N● No matter , dost see yonder Barne o'th left L●eu. Lieu. pootes call her , have made Randals stand without bootes , in ferry pittifull pickles , but her will Creyhound but her will run as nimbles to Londons , as Greyhound after Rabbits , and yet now her remember goodyet Come , we have a hundred pieces good yet in the Barne , they shall last us , sillings in conscience , had not bin so many round shillings in whole worlds but in Wales , twas time sound her little vvhite purse , with a rope her found py the parne , just in the place her had ●er will bee no serving mans now , her will buy her prave Parrells , prave Swords , prave Taggers ●eathers prave Swords , prave Taggers , and praue Feathers , and goe a wooing to prave comely pretty ●non The more wine boy , the nimble anon , anon sir . t shift , sfoot what a vvitty rogue 'tvvas to leave , this faire thirteen pence halfepenny ave shift , sfoot what a vvitty rogue 'tvvas to leave , this faire thirteen pence halfepenny , a●tly halfepenny , and this old halter , intimating aptly . mark● weekes the Tallow Chandler fetcht my hundred marke I lent him to set him up , and to buy grease , the Tallow Chandler fetcht my hundred marke I lent him to set him up , and to buy grease ●●ent Tallow Chandler fetcht my hundred marke I lent him to set him up , and to buy grease , greate marke I lent him to set him up , and to buy grease , this is his day , Ile have his bones for't fo●'●●se grease , this is his day , Ile have his bones for't else , so pray tell him . ●'are Y'are witty , y'are witty , cal to the man o'th ▪ there's a witty posie for you quick Widow . ta ke yonger can , And looke , looke sir , now I take of the yonger , Yonder's Ancient Young come M●rgaged Yonder's Ancient Young come over againe , that Morgaged sixtie pound Per annum before he went , Antient last first of May , a noble gentleman , one Ancient Young . ny our liuings , our blood , ô my heart , ô my head . hamons Pray take it not so hainous , weele goe to him . Ile buy it againe of ma● there was a handsome Widdow , whose vvild mad jealous husband died at Sea , let mee see j●alous there was a handsome Widdow , whose vvild mad jealous husband died at Sea , let mee see , I am o●e see , I am neere Black-fryers , Ile have one start at her , or else — Blood●ound Enter Bloodhound , Daughter Mol , with a bowle of beere . travaire should run mad sure , what handsom Gentlemen travaile and manners makes , my Father begun to ye ●eale the Beere a great deale Sir . prithe● But prithee sir , is't for certaine , for yet it cannot ●antaliz'd no better then heele bed her , she may lie Tantaliz'd and eate wishes . 〈◊〉 Pox on him , they say hee's the arrantst miser , we shall never live good day with him s 〈…〉 ipt Wel , and she be s●ipt by threescore and ten , may she sfoo●e Coxecombe , and I be fed with herring bones , ' sfoote , I say no more , but if wee doe want as d●e bones , ' sfoote , I say no more , but if wee doe want as much bread of our daily allowance dany but if wee doe want as much bread of our daily allowance , as wood dine a Sparrow , or ogges with a Rabbit in one hand , and a dish of egges in another , and the Mayd . 〈◊〉 Fill your Master a coole cup of Beere . 〈◊〉 , nay , two to one is extremitie — but as I was telling thee , I have such a husband is What copes-mate's this trow , who let him in ? Carret met both by chance i'th darke , in an old Garret . Humsreyes Are they none of Duke Humfreyes furies , doe you thinke , that they devis'd Tauis her once , her loved her no more , Saint Trauis so well as her loved her then . wo●●ns Widdovves that dwelt here , are you Widdowes good womans ? Augle Angle Randalls comes in very good times , you versue sir here's none i'th house , pray make a vertue of necessitie , and drinke to her in this A● Ay , reade all's well , or vveapons . he● prave VViddowes , her vvill meete her there , her know her times and her seasons , her warrant a'satt Can , do'st conclude me a sattin cheate ? in Can , do'st conclude me a sattin cheate ? say her bed , throvv me a top o'th Tester , and lay mee out o'th way like a rusty Bilboe . o●● throvv me a top o'th Tester , and lay mee out o'th way like a rusty Bilboe . ●el Enough , drinke that , fare wel , Widdovv , Fate , the Destinies , and the strenght of a man , a good face & sparkling eye , a streight body , a delicate hand , a cleane legge vv●●ter , an eye like a pigge , and a face like a vvinter Pigme , there's a man for a Maydenhead . vuith VVhat , vvhy vvhat shall fifteene doe vvith sixtie and tvvelve , make a screene of him warm● sit behind him , and keep a friends lips warme , many a wench vvod be glad of such a fortune vvise She must be your vvife , I tell — vhore An arrant vvhore , to refuse Master Innocent Earelacke of Sim● Snailes she may sing me asleepe a nights then Sim blad●s sawe for't girle , old , say he be , old blades are best , young hearts are neuer old . sh●●p's Calfe Sir , sheep's too simple for me . fir I will save you a cup at that rate sir . 〈◊〉 VVhy , to shoote at Buts , vvhen you shou'd use prick-shafts , short shooting vvill loose a● short shooting vvill loose ye the game , I allow 〈◊〉 you sir . ●●us Possible thus cheated of a hundred pieces , A handsome pi●ces Possible thus cheated of a hundred pieces , A handsome halter , and the Hangmans wages han●some Possible thus cheated of a hundred pieces , A handsome halter , and the Hangmans wages pop't in pop'● handsome halter , and the Hangmans wages pop't in the place , what an acute vvitnesse we forg●t I am her Grandmother , forget not that by any meanes . mump● And pray remember that you doe not mumpe as if you were chevving Bacon , and spoile ch●vving remember that you doe not mumpe as if you were chevving Bacon , and spoile all . th● Are these the company sir ? ●●k● Yes , but those I like not , these are not they , Ile stay i'th the●e Yes , but those I like not , these are not they , Ile stay i'th next roome ●ee He vvill not make a Capon of me , vvill hee . B 〈…〉 , is a Lieutenant vnder him , Lieutenant Bottome . He was a Sergeant first . S●rg●ant vnder him , Lieutenant Bottome . He was a Sergeant first . Serg●●nt Of the Poultry , of a Woodcock : A Sergeant in the Field , a man of blood . g 〈…〉 I'le take my leaue brother , I am in great hast . ha●● I'le take my leaue brother , I am in great hast . 〈…〉 ing That beares the blush of morning vpon her cheekes , whose eyes are like a whoseeyes beares the blush of morning vpon her cheekes , whose eyes are like a payre of talking Twinnes 〈…〉 ing cheekes , whose eyes are like a payre of talking Twinnes . Twi●●es , whose eyes are like a payre of talking Twinnes . Sh●● Shee lookes lust vpon me . ●ust Shee lookes lust vpon me . ●e Shee lookes lust vpon me . th●n betwixt which There steales a breath sweeter then Indian Spices . th●se But then to touch those lips — you stay too long sure . no● Pish I tell you , I doe not , I know my time , pray what's her name 〈…〉 cian But 'tis descended from the Grecian steeme , the great tributie Lindabrides L 〈…〉 from the Grecian steeme , the great tributie Lindabrides her name , that ancient marron is her reuerent e steeme , the great tributie Lindabrides her name , that ancient marron is her reuerent Granham th●●●●ci●●t the great tributie Lindabrides her name , that ancient marron is her reuerent Granham . ●●●●on tributie Lindabrides her name , that ancient marron is her reuerent Granham . Mirr●●r Niggers I haue read of her in the Mirrour of Knighthood . Kaighthood Niggers I haue read of her in the Mirrour of Knighthood . Co●● Come they shall know you . A lex Alex 〈…〉 . 〈◊〉 Your face is a fine face my brother Gentleman ●●ce Your face is a fine face my brother Gentleman . ●●ne Your face is a fine face my brother Gentleman . Gentle●●● Your face is a fine face my brother Gentleman . ●●'ne That word has ee'ne conquerd me . conque●d That word has ee'ne conquerd me . Li●●. Lieu. ki 〈…〉 I desire to kisse your hand Sir . B 〈…〉 Bawd Do 〈…〉 il Precious Dotterille . it● Sir , I shall call it a curtesie if you shall please to vouchsafe 〈…〉 efie Sir , I shall call it a curtesie if you shall please to vouchsafe to pledge 〈◊〉 , I shall call it a curtesie if you shall please to vouchsafe to pledge me . vouchsa●e call it a curtesie if you shall please to vouchsafe to pledge me . ●oure Foure or sixe , 'tis rich Canary , it came from Sea● 'tis rich Canary , it came from beyond the Seas . wi●● I will doe no curtesie at this time Sir , yet for b●yond one cup I care not , because it comes from beyond the Seas . win● I thinke 'tis Out-landish wine . hei●ding Pox on yee heilding . Gentlewom●n Againe ye Witch ? drinke to the young Gentlewoman . for●ooth little shame fac'd , the deeper the sweeter forsooth . A 〈…〉 Ant ●ouldiers roome I haue seene and heard all . — Oh noble Souldiers . w●s — Antient she was himselfe . l●t Why , let me see : but come in company : let's sit ●pewed queasie stomack of some Tauerne , And are spewed out at midnight . ●yrie beleeved Valiant , goe , and build no more These ayrie Castles of hatcht fame , which fooles Onely in●const Looke and he have not insconst himselfe in a woodden Castle ? 〈◊〉 goe home to go to bed with my guts full of foure shillings beere , when I may replenish them ●●eards I as lusty , me thinkes wee two have blew beards , is there nere a wench to be had ? Drawer intoth a piece from you , Ile pay this reckning into th' bagaine againe , and if I have not a argaine , Ile pay this reckning into th' bagaine againe , and if I have not a tricke to make it foo●ish walke into Bredstreete , this gentleman has a foolish sleight supper , and he most ingenuously May denhead sight on's eyes enough to singe my little Maydenhead , I shall never be able to endure him . cogitatiens Harke you Widdowes , Randals was disturb'd in cogitations , about Lands , Ploughs , and Cheese presses ●ay and aule her Cosins , was Widdow her selfe say so ? R●mane And the Romane answere is , the English goose Sir . ru●●e Pray goe to Algate , to my Sempstris for my ruffe , I must use it say too morrow , did yee kn●very him i'th morning , when my meaning is onely knavery , to make my selfe merry , and let him coole daintisy of ingenious apprehensive , to sawce him daintily , that for that , what thinke yee of the C●llours say hee's an Ancient , but I affect not his Collours . haangs Looke yee here's Iaruis hangs by Geometry , and here's the Gentleman . 10●0 motion , told me The story of your heart , a 1000 Cupids Me thought sate playing on that payre conetous Christails , Carrying to the swiftnesse of couetous Fancie , The very letters we spell loue They ' le They'le confesse , tho with a blush they haue often no reassume your habit , and bee but Iaruis till to morrow morning , I now by the potent truth ●'are Y'are in earnest . rother y'are well enough served , you know how your brother not houre houre agoe , lay at you to have an enough served , you know how your brother not houre houre agoe , lay at you to have the Ancient ho●●e served , you know how your brother not houre houre agoe , lay at you to have the Ancient , ●o brother not houre houre agoe , lay at you to have the Ancient , one that your ●eeth●e'ne ●eeth●e'ne at you to have the Ancient , one that your teeth ee'ne water at , and yet you cry , I cannot love givesme● minute , ô sweete silken Ancient , my minde gives mee , thee and I shall dance the shaking fig-●aile Now , you Mistresse fig-taile , s●he Wind come about yet , I ha brought s●he Now , you Mistresse fig-taile , is the Wind come about yet , I ha brought the Gentleman t●ll I ha brought the Gentleman , doe not you tell him now , you had rather have his roome wi● goe over againe , yo'ue a hansome spying wit , you may send more trueth over in one of w●ll may send more trueth over in one of your well pen'd pamphlets , then all the vveekely lo●ger Poxe on't , Ile stay no longer . ●●s Yes , when I ha no better obiect . 〈…〉 ous What canst thou see in him thou unhansome hideous thing , that merrits not above thee ? ●●it Why , doe you spit ? b●t Doe but stay a little Moll , prithe Moll , thou ●i●t●e Doe but stay a little Moll , prithe Moll , thou knowest my Father 〈…〉 y little Moll , prithe Moll , thou knowest my Father has wrong'd him ; make him amends amen●s knowest my Father has wrong'd him ; make him amends and marry him . Spe●dall Sweet M. Spendall spare your busie breath , I must haue a i●'s Why , you are now in's company . ●oole you young witch , call your elder brother foole ; but goe thy wayes , and keepe thy maydenhead may denhead foole ; but goe thy wayes , and keepe thy maydenhead till it grow more deseruedly despised , de●pi●ed thy maydenhead till it grow more deseruedly despised , then are the olde base bootes of a halfe ha'be●ne Too late I feare I ha' beene too coy , you are to be married then distast●ull But let it not be any way distastfull vnto you , that thus I tri'd you , for your M●ll Moll . I'●e But I'le haue no husband of your prouiding , for dai●ty Good brother let me see't , sweet brother , dainty brother , hony brother . broth●● see't , sweet brother , dainty brother , hony brother . in●eed No indeed , you shall not see't , sweet sister , dainty s●e't No indeed , you shall not see't , sweet sister , dainty sister , hony sister ●ister you shall not see't , sweet sister , dainty sister , hony sister . si● Oh good sir , since so long time I haue loued you , time● Long time loued me ? ued Long time loued me ? ●re Long ere you went to Sea I did . I haue loued you w●nt Long ere you went to Sea I did . I haue loued you very long wi●e fortunes , to morrow I am made the miserablest wife marriage and misery can produce . Ma●● strange in the nice timerous temper of a Maid , I knovv against our sexe to say we love ●r with an old wench that will meet vvith him , or Iarvis has no juice in's brains , and vvhile ●●mp if I pleased him wel , it should serve to iump out my portion . c●arge Maidenhead and that into the bargaine , thy charge is perform'd , away , get thee in , forget Suo Enter Sue , Tim , Captaine , and Bawd . ●ovv Woodcocke : she swore 'tvvas a backe-Bird , novv vvho shall vve be tryed by , but Serieant falutes prittish flames of his prittish blood , he salutes you with that love letter . H●●●ds-ditch Carmaerden , doe love thee Mary Ploodbounds , of Hounds-ditch , dwelling Aulgate , and Pishops gate , moustrous And that her loves Maryes so monstrous , yet never saw her , was because her heare Crandfather Cadwalader , which Cadwalader , was Prutes great Grandfather . Randalls was come in proper persons , v●● wiles , Mary Ploodhounds now , Randals make a vow , VVas runne for Moll a couple of miles Si●ki●s Honest Simkins , what sayd Mariee to Randals Letters ? assoone married to you i'th morning at the Tovver , as soon as you shall please . Iye Ancient shall meete him there , so I shall lye a bedde to laugh , to thinke if hee meete ●●●uis may be , hee went home since I went out . Iaruis was with me but euen now , and bid mee watch clay me to preuent a Vintners Widdow , that layes clayme to him . Itold and yet kept the plot swift a foote too , I told him you were heere to meete a Widdow Ieruis There was neuer such a Iaruis heard off , bid Sim to be carefull , by Si● There was neuer such a Iaruis heard off , bid Sim to be carefull , by the same token , I told hudole fortunes comes tumbling in , like Lawyers Fees , huddle vpon huddle . Aldga●e-ward Stay Sir , here's somebody come from Aldgate-ward ? Da●●e How , how , where ha you bin pray Dame , ha ? Io●e Randalls loue : For Randalls was so true as Ioue , And Maryes was her ioy . If Randalls was da●●y to his qualitic — but I must not let him dally too long upon my daily company , Lust is hand-woolse too long upon my daily company , Lust is a hand-woolfe , who with daily feeding , one time or other seeding , Lust is a hand-woolfe , who with daily feeding , one time or other takes a suddaine start of hand-woolfe , who with daily feeding , one time or other takes a suddaine start upon his benefactor ha 〈…〉 ome man , a proper man , a welfavoured man , a hansome man . ô still as a Millers horse when hees lading , o he comes , he comes . houest hand , I lay under thy bed , with a heart as honest , and a blood as cold , as had my sister u●●ie while you set up your foote upon the bed , to untie your shooe , such another word , I will cou●hes by your side , and divide the houres with coughes , as Cockes doe the night by instinct of vvise And onely wish well to a fayre vvife all night . ●oars Yours , 'tis my house . to 〈…〉 Even since I was begotten , I was borne too't , I must have thee , and I will have thee havethee borne too't , I must have thee , and I will have thee , and this house is mine , and none ●th both vvith your Fathers intended marriage , i'th morning you shall certifie him very earlie cbedience qualitie of your fortunes , and returne to your obedience , and that you and your wife , still concealing ô ever a captivating tongue to take a woman — o excellent money , excellent money , Mistresse ●other that by natures course , cannot live long : tother , a Mid-night sunset cuts off , then have m●●●cke Ile in and get some musicke for thy Mistresse , to quicken her this Conquer●ur Alexander was the Conquerour Sir . Musicle Church presently : Prithee Iaruis whilst the Musicke playes iust vpon the delicious close , vsher itaith They are both lockt vp ifaith , trimming of one another . Oh these vvomen Bload. Blood ●●e Vsurer , and takest forty in the hundred , Ile informe against thee . ●nuied Alas Sir , I was meerely enuied , betray'd by Iaruis , but as I haue beene g●ble●s money ; so set the Hare Pye against the Goose giblets , and you and I are as daintily matcht as abu●'d the widdow Wagges , tell her wee are both abus'd , this Iaruis is a Jugler , say . ●ugler her wee are both abus'd , this Iaruis is a Jugler , say . W●d. Wid . s●ee Pox of that Venus , shee is a Whore I warrant her . rule● Heyday , wee are cheated by the rule ifaith , now sirrah , they say you are to faith Heyday , wee are cheated by the rule ifaith , now sirrah , they say you are to be married 〈◊〉 thinke she has a scurvy face , when I know she has a good face , this is Sacke to them S●cke when I know she has a good face , this is Sacke to them and out of their Element . ●onre hundred Marke , this is to drinke ignoble sonne shillings beere , a hundred Marke , why ●hat What is shee , heere's my Brother knowes what shee is well enough , come hither Dab , t●o rope on him has juggled mee into the sudds too . Mary-po●es & Hugh . now , I pray tumble downe of her Mary-pones , and aske her father plessing ? Ploo●hound And here is Mary Ploodhound , my chollericke shredde of Cadwallader sixe●'th By sixe i'th morning forsooth , hee tooke mee for to●ke By sixe i'th morning forsooth , hee tooke mee for Mary Ploodhound , having it seemes amoro●slie desiree , upon this daintie , that is so amorouslie taken vvith your ditties . 〈◊〉 wondrous vvell , hee bid mee call him Coz , and carrie it hansomely . Ans. Ant.