The Contention for Honor and Riches (Honoria and Mammon)

A CONTENTION FOR HONOR AND RICHES . Enter Riches , and Ingenuity a Scholler . Ing. MY Lady desires to speake with you . Ric. Your Lady ? who 's your Lady ? Ing. The Lady Honor . Rich. Let Honor come to Riches , it will not Disparage her , my friend . Ing. She is not well . Ri. Honor is seldom sound , what ailes her Ladiship ? Ing. She had a fall lately . Ric. A fall ? Ing. And spraind Her foot . Ric. Teach her to clime ; shee 's so ambitious . In. Please you to do her the favour , she will waite Vpon your Ladi-ship another time . Ric. I cannot come Ing. Good Madam . Ric. I ha the goute Ing. You may command a Coach . Ric. Riches I know May command any thing but I doe not use To come to every one desires my company Beside , my servants are abroad , and it Becomes me not to goe so unattended . Ing. I shall be fortunate , if you accept My service . Ric. Is that state enough for me ? Although it be in fashion with your Lord , To amble with his foot man and Page , I use to have more followers . Ing. Great Ladies Have no such traine , many are held superfluous , The Gentleman Vsher now a dayes is thought Sufficient for a Countesse , nay , for two Take him by turnes , & yet he may be courteous To the waiting Gentlewoman . Ric. You assume , me thinkes , Much liberty in talking , wha't 's your name ? In. They which know me , call me Ingenuity . Ric. Ingenuity ? Out upon ! thee I suspect , You are a Scholler . Ing. I have studyed Arts . Ri. Defend me from his witchcraft had thy Mistris : None but a Scholler to employ upon Her complements to me , one whose profession I hate , whose memory is my disease , And conversation death ? how ranck he smells Of Aristotle , and the musty Tribe Of worme-eaten Philosophers ? get from me , I will endure the Beares , and their provision , Lie in an Hospitall , or French-footmen , feed With prisoners , or be rack'd at Westminster , Nay , die , & make poore orphants my Executors , Ere be confind to heare thy learned nonsence . Ing. Why should you be such enemy to Schollers ? They waste Minervaes precious dew , their sweat , To gaine your favour , and would thinke themselves Blest , when your golden beames but shine upon 'em . Ric. T is not your flattery can win upon me . Goe , and declame against me , good Diogenes , Admire a vertuous poverty , and nakednesse , Call Fortune whore , and write whole volumes in The praise of hunger and your lowsie wardrobe , Yes , teach the world , Riches is growne a monster , And that she dotes on ignorance : these are Your vulgar doctrines , and I pray pursue 'em , My most immortall begger , and get fame With some twice sodden pamphlet , till you make Submission to my foole , in hope of the Reversion of his Groomes bare livery : Your Theses , and your Syllogismes , will No doubt convert the Beadle , and the dog-whip . Ing. Be pleas'd to heare me speake — Ric. What impudence Does this appeare , you should desire that favour ? Have I not given testimony to the world Sufficiently , I doe not love a Scholler ? Ing. Indure me for my Mistresse Lady Honor . Ric. I wonder what she meant to entertain thee ! Away , dispute no further , if you move me To more impatience , Riches will finde wayes To curbe your insolence t is not your pretence To Honors service , can protect you from My anger , I have kindred , and acquaintance Shall with their breath blow thee beyond the Sea ; Or if I should be mercifull , and let thee Injoy thy Country , never hope to arrive at Above a pension , that will find you woollen A Pedant , or a Vicaridge preferment , Gelded sufficiently by the improper Parson , Is all your wit must hope for ; and take heed That you be modest then , no coate , nor Cassocke Can charme you : if I offer to complaine , I shall put your Divinity to silence . Ing. I despise Thy womanish threats , and shall account my selfe Happy without thy favour . O Philosophy , Assist thy poore admirer , and infuse A noble fortitude to scorne her malice : I have no thought , but has a triumph 'ore Thy base conspiracy . Welcome my deare Bookes , And contemplation , that shall feed my soule To immortality : let Puppets dote Vpon thy gifts , and sell their priviledge , For gaudy clothes and Epicurean , Lust , and a Catalogue of Rich mens sinnes , That shall like plummets hang upon their heart : When wings are most required , keepe thy resolve , And be an enemy to Learning still , That when we find a Scholler , by thee favord , We may suspect him counterfeit and a dunce Honor will be my Mistris , whose least smile I value above all thy pride , or treasures , And she will scorne thee too . Farewell , gay Madam , A painted tombe ! though glorious to the eye . Corruption dwells within thee . Exit . Ric. Foule mouth Satyre , But t is some punishment to let him waste His spirits with his railing , let him fret , It may consume him without more diseases , Let him die any way , men of his quality Are living but unprofitable burdens To the earth , as they were borne to consume fruits , And talke of needlesse Sciences . Who are these ? My ancient sutors , Clod the Country-man , And Gettings the rich Citizen ? Enter Clod and Gettings . Get. She 'es here . Good morrow to the star of my delight , Whose beames more glorious doe eclipse the Sunne , And cast a richer warm'th about the world . Ric. How ? turn'd Poet ? Get. Feare me not , Lady , I am none of those were borne too 't , I had rather Be a Iew then christned in Parnassus Pompe , I have nothing but the knuckles and the rumpes Of Poetry . Ric. Take heed in time , lest you become infected With wit , I doe not love poeticke fancies , Nor any thing that trenches on the Muses , They were baggages , and Phoebus their protector , Deserv'd the whipping post . Get. I have read , he was A common Piper , and those Nine were Gipsies , That liv'd by cheating Palmistry . Ric. I like it , When you doe raile at Learning , I allow you To read a Ballad , and ridiculous Pamphlets , Writ on the strength of Beere , or some dull liquor : But if you smell profane Sacke in a Poeme , Come not within a league of understanding , As you respect my favour . Get. I am instructed . Ric.

But why does Clod stand all this while so mute ?

Clo.

Either I am John a Noakes , or I am not John a Noakes .

Ric.

Hee 's dreaming of his horses .

Clod.

Gee , sweete Lady , I am all to be mired in your beauty , the horses of my imagination are foundred in the high-way of your perfections , for I am deepe in love with your Lady-ship , though I doe not weare such fine clothes as Master Gettings here , and so much out of fashion : for if I commend my doublet , I must speake funerall , yet my heart is cut and flash'd , and I defie any man that has a better stomack to you in the way of Matrimony .

Get.

No comparison , Master Clod .

Clod.

Let him be odious , that names comparison , for my part , I soorne 'em all and the degrees .

Get.

Y' are very positive .

Clod.

Dost thou positive me ? And my Mistresse were not here , thou shouldest find Clod is made of an other gesse mold , then to endure thy affronts .

Ric.

And you quarrell , I am gone .

Ge.

Nay , nay , sweet Lady we shall be friends agen .

Ric.

I hope it wonot stretch to a duell .

Exit . Get.

Duell ? You wonot provoke me , Clod , Will you ? if you doe , Clod .

Clod.

I will provoke any man living in the way of love .

Get.

How ?

Clod. He that shall goe a wooing to my Mistris , I will provoke him , and he were my father . Get.

Y' are a durty fellow , Clod , and if I had met thee that yeere I was Scavenger , I would have had thee carted .

Clod.

Mee carted , Cart thy Bawdes , there bee enow within the walls , do'st tell me of a Scavenger ? a fart for thy office , I am a better man in the country then the Constable himselfe , and doe tell thee to thy face , though I am plaine Clod , I care not a beanestalke for the best What lacke you on you all , no not the next day after Simon and Jude ; when you goe a feasting to Westminster with you Gallyfoist and your pot-guns , to the very terror of the Papet-whales , when you land in sholes , and make the understanders in Cheapside , wonder to see ships swimme upon mens shoulders , when the Fencers flourish , and make the Kings liege people fall downe and Worship the Devill and Saint Dunstan , when your whifflers are hangd in chaines , and Hercules Club spits fire about the Pageants , though the poore children catch cold , that shew like painted cloth , and are onely kept alive with sugar plummes , with whom , when the word is given , you march to Guild-hall , with every man his spoone in his pocket , where you looke upon the Giants , and feed like Sarazens , till you have no stomacke to Pauls in the afternoone : I have seene your Processions , and heard your Lions and Camels make speeches , in stead of Grace before and after dinner : I have heard songs too , or something like e'm : but the Porters have had the burden , who were kept sober at the City charge , two dayes before , to keepe time and tune with their feet , for bragge what you will of your charge , all your pompe lies upon their backe .

Get.

So , so .

Clo.

Must this dayes pride so blow you up , that a Country-mans tale may not be heard ?

Get.

That dayes pride ?

Clo.

Or what is t make you Gamboll so ?

Get.

Why , anger ha's made you witty Country-man .

Clo.

Thou lyest , and I am none of thy Country-man , I was borne out of the sound of your Pancakebell , I cannot abide to see a proud fellow : and it were not for us in the Country , you would have but a leane City , wee maintaine your Charter , and your Chamber too , you would ha but ill markets , and we should forsweare to furnish e'm , where were your hides , hornes and plenty of other provision ? your , wives could not doe as they doe , with your short yard and your false light , and the Country should not come in upon them . Come , you cannot live without us , you may be cald a body Politicke , but the Country is the soule , and therefore subscribe and give way to me .

Get.

The high-way , but not the wall in London , doe you know where you are , and what you have talk't all this while ? an Informer would squeeze your truncke hose for this , and teach you to know your Termes and your Attornies .

Clo.

I le have as good Law for my money , as the best on you , I know what belongs to 't , I have almost broke the Parson of the Parish already , about his Tithe-egges .

Get.

Why , thou lumpe of ignorance , leather and husbandry ill compounded , thou that hast beene so long a dung-hill , till the weedes have overgrowne thee , and a farre off hast cozend a horse , thou that dost whistle out thy prayers , and wo-not change thy durty soyle , for so many acres in Paradise , nor leave thy share o' the plough , for Saint Peters patrimony , thou that were begot upon a hay-mow , bred in thy fathers stable , and out-dung'd his Cattell , thou , that at one and twenty , wert onely able to write a sheeps marke in Tarre , and read thy owne capitall letter , like a gallous upon a cowes buttocke ; you that allow no Scripture Canonicall , but an Almanacke , which makes you weather-wise , and puts you in hope of a deare yeere : let the Country starve , and the poore grind provender , so the market rise : let your soule fall to the Devill among the Corne-cutters , I am ashamed to hold discourse any longer with thee ; onely one word , I would advise you to let your action of love fall , and be content to marry with Malkin , in the Country , shee can churne well , and humble her selfe behind a hedge , for this Lady is no lettice for your lips , goe goe , meddle with your jades , and exercise a whip , among your bread and cheese eaters .

Clo.

Sirra Cit , I doe challenge thee .

Get.

What weapon ?

Clo.

The next deedlefeedle shall furnish us both if thou hast any morall , let us try before we part who is the better man .

Get,

If thou hast any ambition to be beaten to dust , Clod , thanke your selfe .

Clo.

I will flash thy skin like a Summer doublet , come thy wayes .

Enter a Courtier and a Souldier courting Honor Ingenuity . Cour. Looke this way , Lady , and in me behold Your truest servant . Sol. T is but aery Court-ship That he professes , looke upon the Lady That can be active in your service . Ing. T is The Courtier and the Souldier pleading their Affection to my mistresse Lady donor , I wo'not interrupt them yet , I cannot Find by her countenance that she enclines to either Col. Blesse me but with one smile if you did know With what devotion my soule lookes on you , How next to my religion I have placede , If not above it , your bright excellence , How long since I first vowed my selfe your captive , That eye would dain some influence . Sol. I have No stocke of soft and melting words to charm you , Such silken language we are strangers to , We are us'd to other Dialect , and imitate the Drum , Bold Artillery : can you love me ? When I have marched upon the dreadfull Cannon , My heart was fixt on Honor nor could death In all her shapes of horror tempt one thought To base retire , when no voyce could be heard , But thunder , and no object seene but lightning , Which seem'd to have bin struck from the first Chaos , So great a darkenesse had eclips'd the Sunne , Yet then I thought on Honor , and lookt Their lives that sunke about me , every body I trod upon , ( for now the dead had buried The earth ) gave me addition to Where , in my imagination I saw Thee charioted , and dropping downe a Garland . Ho. No more there are but compleiners of wars , Perhaps some studied speech I love your quality , But am not taught with these Hyperboles Honor 's not won with words , true valour needs No paint of ostentation , the wound That has the greatest orifice includes not The greatest danger . Ing. She has quash'd his Culvering , And now he 's swearing out some prayers . Cour. Shee 's mine . Thus lookt the moone , when with her virgin fires She went in progresse to the mountaine Latmos , To visit her Endimion , yet I injure Your beauty , to compare it to her orbe Of silver light , the Sun from which , she borrowes That makes her up the nightly Lamp of heaven , Has in his stock of beams not halfe your luster , Enrich the earth still with your sacred presence , Vpon each object throw a glorious starre , Created by your sight , that when the learn'd Astronomer comes forth to examine heaven , He may find two , and be himselfe devided , Which he should first contemplate . Ho. You both love me . Cour. But I the best . Sol. How sir , the best ? Cou. Ere since I knew the Court , I had no other study but to advance My selfe to Honor , all my suites have beene Directed to this one , that Honor would Fixe me among those other Constellations That shine about the King , t is in thy love To plant a Coronet here : and then I dare Iustle the proudest Heroe and be inscrib'd A demy god , frowne dead the humble mortall , And with my breath call backe their soules agen . What cannot Honor doe ? Ho. Not that you boast . True Honor makes not proud , not takes delight I' th ruine of poore vertue . So. Sir , you said you lov'd her best . Co. And will maintaine it . So. You cannot , dare not . Co. Dare not ? Ho. So peremptory , Honor may in time Find wayes to tame the insolent Lady Riches , But leave her to her pride . Ing. The Courtier , and The Souldier looke as they would quarrell . Ho. Let 'em . You see how they pursue me still , but Honor Is not so easily obtain'd . Ing. They are Gay creatures , and conspicuous in the world . Ho. But no such miracles : Gentlement , you promise Some spirit in you , ther 's no way to make Me confident of your worth but by your action : In briefe , if you be ambitious of Honor , You must fight for me , and as fame shall give me Your character , I shall distinguish you , And cherish worth : meane time I take my leave . Come , Ingenuity , you and I must have Some private conference , I dare trust your bosome With some thing of more weight . Ing. I am then happy , When you command me service . Ho. And I keepe A Register of all , and though delayd , Forget not the reward . Exeunt Honor , Ing. So. Hark , Master Cringe , How d' ee like her sentence ? If you meane To have Honor you must fight for 't not oild speeches , Nor crinckling in the hammes will carry her , You have worne a sword thus long , to shew the hilt , Now let the blade appeare . Co. Good Captaine Voyce , It shall , and reach you manners , I have yet No Ague , I can looke upon your buffe , And punto beard , and call for no strong waters , I am no Taverne gull , that wants protection , Whom you with oathes doe use to mortifie , And sweare into the paiments of all reckonings , Vpon whose credit you weare belt and feather , Top and top gallant , and can make him seale At mid-night to your Taylor , goe invite Young Gentlemen to dinner , and then pawne 'em , Or valiantly with some of your owne file , Conspire a Sconce , or to a bawdy house March with your Regiment , and kicke the Leverets , Make cullice o' the Bawdes , yet be made friends , Before the Constable be sent for , and Run to 'the ticket for the pox , these services , I doe presume , you are acquainted with . So. Musk-Cat . Co. Or wert thou what thou seem'st , a Soldier , For so much good I wish thee for my honor , When I have kil'd thee . So. Sirra Civet-box . Co. Let me aske your Souldier ship but one cold question , If Lady Honor , whom you have presum'd Without good manners to affect , should possibly Descend to marry thee , prethee what joynture Couldst thou make her ? So. Ioynture ? Co. I le admit for arguments sake , Thou art a Souldier , perhaps You will give her a Catalogue of Townes , Or Leaguers , the names of bridges broken downe , Your nose in time may make another , you will tel her Of onslaughts , Bulwarks , Barricado , Forts , Of Cannon , Culvering , Sacres , and a rabble Of your Artillery , which you have cond by heart , A role of Captaines names , perhaps you have In ready wounds , some twenty idle , admit it , And in diseases can assure her forty , This wo'not doe , she cannot eate a Snapsacke , Nor carry baggage , lie in your foule Hut , And rost your pullen , for whose precious theft , You and the Gibbet feare to bee acquainted , If you returne into your wholesome Country , Vpon your honorable woodden legs . The houses of correction are no Palaces , And Passes must be had , or else the Beadles Will not be satisfied , the Treasurers name And twelve-pence for your service i' th Low countries , And spending of your blood for doughty Dutchmen , That would have hang'd you there , but in their charity You were reserv'd for beggery at home , Is no inheritance I take it sir . So. Have you done yet ? Co. I have not much more to say . So. It does appeare by all this prattle then , You doe not know me , and have ta'ne too much On trust to talke of Souldier , a name Tha 'st not deserv'd to mention , because Some fellowes here , have brag'd , and perhaps beaten You , and some other of your satten Tribe , Into beliefe that they have seene the warres , That perhaps mustered at Mile-end , Or Finesbury . Must the true sonnes of courage , Be thus dishonor'd , and their character Defac'd by such prodigious breath ? must we , We that for Honor and your safeties suffer , What in the repetition would fright Your pale soules from you , when perhaps you foot A jigge at home , and revell with your Lady , Be thus rewarded ! Happy they that dyed Their Country sacrifice , to prevent the shame Of living with such popular drones , but I Should wrong our glorious profession By any Arguments , to make thee sensible Of what we are : it shall suffice to publish What is not now in ignorant supposition . But truth , of your gay quality and vertues , You are a Courtier . Co. Very good . So. Not so . If such there be , I talke not to them now , But to thee Phantasme , of whom men doe doubt Whether thou hast a soule , thou that dost thinke it The better and more gratefull part of thy Religion , to we are good clothes , and suffer More paines at buttoning of thy gawdy doublet , Then thou durst take for heaven , thou hast devided Thy flattery into severall articles , And hast so often called your great men goods , That t is become thy Creed , and thou dost now Beleeve no other , thou w'ot take a bribe , To undoe a Nation , and sell thy Country-men To as many persecutions as the Devill : thou art beholding to thy pride , it has Made thee thy own self-love , for without it , None else affecting thee I doe now see , What else could keep thee from despaire & drowning ? Thy wantonnesse has made thy body poore , But not in shew , for though thy back have payd for 't , It weares rich trappings ; Art may helpe your legs , But cannot cure your dancing : that and pepper , Avoid with like discretion , one betrayes you At dinner , and the other betweene meales . Goe purchase lands and a faire house , which must When thou livest in it be an Hospitall , And owe no other body for diseases . Co. Pray come , and take a chamber . So. Thou hast ignorance And impudence enough for twenty Alchymists . Co. I le heare no more . So. A little , I le intreat you , You shall be beaten afterward , ne're feare it . Co. Dar'st thou blaspheme the Court ? So. I honour it , And all the Noble ornaments of State , That like Pomegranats in old Aarons coate , Adorne the Prince that wears 'em , but such Courtiers That coozen us like Glow-wormes in the night , Or rotten wood , I hate , and in their number For this time be content I list your worship . Co. How do you know what I am , or what title Perhaps I weare ? So. I know thee by the wrong To Souldiers . Co. I speake of such as thou wert , and I dare Maintaine , and write as much in thy owne blood . Enter Honestie . Co. Dost thou not see , Honestie ? So. Honestie ? what hast thou to do with Honesty ? Co. I never could endure her , she appeares More terrible then a ghost , I ha no stomacke To fight , my blood is frozen in my veines , She is a thousand punishments at once : Now would I give my Office to be at peace With mine owne conscience , ha , she do's pursue me ? So. These are idle imaginations , collect Your selfe , good Courtier , and remember what Wee are to doe , or I shall , ha . Enter No-pay . Co. What 's the matter , more terror ? So. I am cold too . Co. Another apparition . So. You may know him by a jaw-faln , t is No-pay . And what a comfort No-pay 's to a Souldier , I appeale to a Councell of warre , the Devill is not So full of horror , No-pay ? I le not fight A stroke , though I were sure to cleare the Empire . Exeunt . Enter Citizen and Country-man arm'd . Get. Our weapons length are even , but you le find There is such ods betwixt us , nought but death Can reconcile our difference . Clod.

Deny your major . I thinke I heard a Scholler use that word against Bellarmine . I , I le stand too 't : for if nought but death , can reconcile our difference , we must be both kild : no , prepare thy selfe , I hope to send thee to heaven , and be farre enough off ere Sun-set : if thou hast made thy Will , let them prove it when thou art dead , and bury thee accordingly , thy wife will have cause to thanke me , it will be a good hearing to the poore of the Parish : happy man by his dole , besides , the Blue-coates can but comfort thy kindred with singing and rejoycing at thy Funerall . Come on thy wayes .

Get.

Y' are very round , Clod , I doe not thinke you have practis'd Fencing of late , this is a weapon you are not us'd to , a Pitch-forke were more convenient for you to manage .

Clo.

A Pitch-forke ? Thou shalt know thy destiny by this , though it have but one point I know where thy heart lies , I desire no more , and lesse would satisfie me , unlesse thou wilt eate thy words , and confesse thou hast wrong'd me , out it shall , I have a stomacke to cut thee up , and my sword has a pretty edge of it selfe , and my greatest griefe is , that I owe thee nothing , to discharge all together , but t is no matter , I can but kill thee .

Get.

You cannot , sure : for ought I see in your countenance , you are not long-lyv'd your selfe , you have but a tallow complexion , doe you know what ground you stand upon , Clod ?

Col.

Ground ?

Get.

You may tread upon your grave now , for all this blustering .

Clod.

Thou liest , there 's more to provoke thee : no , I came not hither to dye , and I won't be buryed at any mans discretion , my father was buryed i' the Country , and my grand-father , and his father before him , and if I live I le bee buried there my selfe : but what doe we lose time ? looke to thy head , for I will make an even reckoning with thy shoulders presently . Enter Foule-Weather-in-Harvest . Ha , hold , alas , I wo'not fight , I ha no heart to lift up a weapon .

Ge.

You were fire and tow but ' een now .

Clo.

But here 's water Dost not see ? I shall be undone .

Get.

Who is this ?

Clo.

Why , t is Foule-Weather-in-Harvest , all spoil'd , I wo'not have thy heart now , and thou wouldst gee 't me .

Get.

T is well , something will coole you , after so much thunder , but it wo'not quench the fire of my anger . I doe not use to put up these things , when I am drawne too 't , your Foule weather is nothing to the businesse in hand , therefore submit thy necke to my execution , or —

Clo.

Kill me : I le forgive thee , I shall have no Harvest to yeere .

Enter Long-Vacation . Get.

And thou hadst as many heads as Hydra — Ha , I le not hurt a Hare , I am frighted this is my heart , you had not so wet , but we are like to have as dry a time on 't , I stood upon tearmes before , this is Long-Vacation .

Clo.

Long-Vacation ?

Get.

I dream'd of a dry Summer , he will consume me , it will be a thousand yeeres till Michaelmasse . Prethee let 's be friends , for my part I have no hope of Riches .

Clo.

And I but little , and this weather hold . Enter Riches . Here she comes .

Ric. Where be these friends of mine ? Alas , what Meane you ? I am faint with seeking you to stay your fury : For I was told your bloody resolutions . You should be a man of government , are these The ensignes of the City ? will you give Without the Herald in your Armes , a Sword To the old City Dagger ? you weare a Gowne Embleme of peace , will you defile your gravity With Basket-hilt and Bilboe ? And you bold Yeoman , That like a Ricke of hay , hath stood the shocke Of Winter , and grew white with snow of age , Is this an instrument for you ? But I am confident that you will say , t is love Of me hath brought you to the field , and therefore To prevent future mischiefe , I determine Here to declare my selfe : but first conjoyne Your loving hands , and vow a constant friendship , Then one of you I le choose my husband . Get. By our seven gates that doe let in Every day no little sin , By the sword which we aduance , And the Cap of Maintenance : By the Shrieves post , and the hall Yeleped Guild , and London wall , By our Royall Change which yeelds Gentile ware , and by More-fields , By our thrice burnt famous Steeple , That doth over-looke the people , Cheapeside Crosse , and loud Bow-bell , And by all that wish it well : I am friends with him till he dies , And love him like my liberties : So helpe me Riches , what I speake : The Citizen will never breake . Ric. What say you ? Clo. By my Cart , and by my Plough , My dun Mare , and best red Cow , By my Barne , and fattest Weather , My grounds , and all my state together , In thy love I over-take thee , Else my whistling quite forsake me , And let me ever lye , which worse is , At racke and manger with the horses . Ric. Then Master Clod . — Clo. Ha , ha , with all my heart , am I the man ? Ric. The man . I must intreate to have some patience . I doe imagine you affect me dearely , And would make much of Riches . Clo.

There 's no Lady That shal out-shine my Darling : t is no matter , though I be in Russet all the weeke , Riches shal live like a Lady , have perfum'd linnen , costly Gownes , and Peticoats worth taking up , and as the fashion is ; I will put thee into a bagge .

Ric. This wo'not , sir , agree with your condition , To keepe me brave : the Country Cut must be Observ'd . Clo. Hang Country Cuts ! Doe but marry me . — Ric. But this is not my exception ; there is more That interdicts our marriage : for though you Are willing to conceale it , Master Clod , Yet you and I are kindred , at least cousins . Clo. Why , is not your name Riches ? Ric. Though my name Be Riches , yet my mother was a Clod , She married rich earth of America , Where I was borne , a durty family , But many matches have refined us now , And we are called Riches . Clo.

If you were borne in America , wee are but kindred a farre off .

Ric.

Let us not confound our Genealogies .

Clo.

I would be loth to marry an Infidell borne , and yet I like your complexion so well , that —

Ric. No , I am reserv'd for thee , And here I plant my best affection . Get. Welcome to my heart . How I doe love thee , Riches ! O my soule , We 'le marry straight . Ric. And thus much for your comfort . Nay , droope not , Clod , though I be wife to him , Yet if I bury Gettings , I le be thine , And carry London with us into th' Country . Clo. After this rate you are my wife in Law . Well : give you joy . Get. Me thinkes I fumble my gold chaine already . But who are these ? Enter Courtier and Souldier . Co. No Honor to be found . So. Let us inquire Of these . Did any see the Lady Honor ? Get. What care we for Honor , so we have Riches ? Co. Ha ? I have beene acquainted with this Lady . Ric. I was at Court the last weeke , sir . Cour. I remember . Sol. I ha seene her some-where too . Ric. I ha beene a Traveller . So. Were you never taken by the Hollander ? Ric. I was in the Plate-fleete . So. Baser los manos Signiora . Ric.

I have almost forgot my Spanish , but after a little practice I may recover it .

Clo.

I know not Honor if I see her , I have heard of such a Lady : ten to one , but Riches can direct you to her .

Ric. I apprehend your desires , sir , & will direct you . Co. I am your servant , Lady . Ri. But first , Mr. Gettings , know these Gentlemen . Ge. They are in my books already , pray Gentlemen , Know my Commodities , when I ha married Riches , I shall be better able to furnish you Co. We wish you joy . So. And shall remaine your debtors . Get. I make no doubt . Co. But here 's the Lady whom we enquire for . So. She has musicke to attend her . Musicke . Enter Honor and Ingenuity . Ha! the Scholler ? The case is alterd . Is not that Ingenuity ? Co. How familiar they are ! I hope they 'r not married . Cl. Is this Madam Honor ? Co. So , Lady . Ho. Gentlemen , I come to reconcile your difference , I did foresee you desperate in love , And prompted , I confesse your swelling valours To fight for me , but upon second thoughts . I canceld that opinion , and devis'd A way to settle all things without danger This Gentleman late my servant , Ingenuity , Hath remov'd all occasion of your further Courtship , and now won me for his Bride . Co. Married the Scholler ? despis'd . So. Affronted . Ho. You are passionate . You could not both possesse me , yet in him Your excellencies meet , and I enjoy e'm . He can be Courtier and a Soldier When the occasion presents it selfe . He that hath learn'd to obey well , can command . Nay , be not sad , if you lov'd me , expresse it In your Congratulations . Here I fixe My selfe , and vow my best affection . If in the number of my friends , I may Write you , be confident you sha'not lose By your respect to Honor . Lady Riches , I hope there is no Antipathy in your nature , But you may smile upon a Scholler now Married to Honor . Rich. Since you have so advanc'd him , He shall not want my favour . Ing. Now I am confident . Co. We must obey our destiny . Since Fate Meant me not so much happinesse , to be The husband , let me still be humble servant To Honor . So. My desires have the same ambition . Co. and So. Ioyes crowne your marriage Ing. Now you both denide me . But in this Empire I can brooke no Rivall . Be all my honor'd guests , and with one feast And revels celebrate our double marriage . Co. And here our love unites . Pardon what language My passion threw upon thee : acknowledge A Soldiers worth above the reach of malice . So.

My heart shall spread to embrace the noble Courtier .

Clod.

Here 's nothing but complement . you should bring up a fashion to kisse one another .

Get. T is such a dry Clod ! Ing. Correct your passions , sir , I am inform'd You have beene guilty this day of abuse , Against the noble Citizens , and traduc'd Their yeerely Triumph . Get. 'T was his ignorance , But we are friends agen . Ing. Then I ha done . Now Gentlemen and Ladies , In the assurance all are pleas'd , let us Ioyne in dance . Such mirth becomes a wedding . Strike up some nimble aire . They dance . Ing. Thus all have seene how Providence imparts Wealth to the City , Honor to the Arts . Exeunt . FINIS .