Elynour Rummin, the famous ale-wife of England. Written by Mr. Skelton, Poet Laureat to King Henry the egiht [sic].

THE TVNNING OF ELYNOVR OF RVMMING . TEll you I chill , if that you will , A While be still , of a merry Gyll , That dwelt on a Hill , but she is not grill : For she is somwhat sage , & well worne in age , For her visage it would asswage A mans courage . Her lothly leere , is nothing cleere , But vgly of cheere , droupy and drowsie , Scuruy and lowsie , her face all bowsie ; Comely cryncled , wondrously wrinckled , Like a roast Pigges eare , bristled with haire , Her lewd lips twaine , they slauer men sayne Like a ropie rayne . A gummy glaire , she is vgly faire , Her Nose somedeale hooked , and camously crooked , Neuer stopping , but euer dropping , Her Skin loose and slacke , grain'd like a sacke , With a crooked backe . Her Eyne gowndy , are full vnsoundy , For they are bleared , and she gray-haired , Iawed like a Ietty , a man would haue pitty , To see how shee 's gumd , fingerd and thumbd , Gently ioynted , greas'd and annointed ▪ Vp to the knuckels , the bones her buckels Together made fast , her youth is farre p●st ▪ Footed like a plane , legg'd like a Crane , And yet she will iet , like a iolly set , In her furred flocket , and gray ru●●ed rocket , With symper the cocket . Her Huke of Lyncolne greene , it had bin h●●● I weene More then fortie yeare , and so it doth appeare , The greene bare threeds , looke like feere weedes Witherd like hay , the wooll worne away , And yet I dare say , she thinkes her selfe gay , Vpon the holyday , when she doth her aray , And girdeth in her geetes , stitched with pleetes , Her Kirtill Bris●ow red , with clothes on her hed , That waigh a sow of lead . Writhen in a wonder wise , after the 〈◊〉 guise , With a whim wham , knit with a trim tram , Vpon her brain-pan , like an Egyptian Capped about , when she goeth out Her selfe for to shew , she driueth downe the dew With a paire of heeles , at broad as two wheeles ; Shee hobbles like a Goose , with her blauked hose , Her 〈◊〉 smeard with tallow greased vpon dyrt , That ●●●deth her skirt .

Primus Passus . And this comely dame , I vnderstand her name Is Elynour Rumming at home in her wonning , And as men say , she dwelt in Sothray , In a certaine steed , beside L●derhede . Shee is a Tonnish gib , the deuill and she be sib , But to make vp my tale , shee brueth nappy ale , And makes thereof pot-sale . To Trauellers and Tinkers , to sweaters and swinkers And all good-Ale drinkers , that will nothing spare , But drinke till they stare , and bring themselues bare , With now away the Mare , and let vs sley care , As wise as an hare . Come who so will , to Elinour on the hill , With fill the cup fill and sit thereby still Early and late , thither comes Kate , Cisly and Sare , with their legs bare , And also their feete , hardly vnsweet . With their heeles dagged , their kirtles all to iagged , Their smockes all to ragged . With titters and tarters , bring dishes and platters , Withall their might running , to Elinour Rumming , To haue of her Tunning . Shee giues them of the same , and thus begins the game , Some wenches vnbraced , and some all vnlaced , With their naked paps , their flips and flaps , It wigs and it wags , like tawny saff'ron bags ; A sort of foule drabs , all scuruie with scabss , Some be flye-bitten , some skew'd like a kytten . Some with a shoe-clout , binde their heads about ; Some haue no haire-lace , their lockes about their face , Their tresses vntrust , all full of vnlust , Some looke strawry , some cawry mawry ; Some vntydie tegges , like rotten egges , Such a lewd sort to Elinour resort , From tide to tide , abide , abide , And to you shall betold , how her Ale is sold To Mawte and to Mold .

Secundus Passus . Some haue no money , that thither commy For their Ale to pay , that is a shrewd aray : Elinour sweares nay , ye beare not away My Ale for nought , by him that me bought , With hey dogge hey , haue these dogges away , With get me a staffe , the swine eat all my draffe , Strike the Hogs with a club , they haue drunke vp my tub ; For be there neuer so much prese , the swine go to the hy dese , The sow with her pigges , the bore his taile wrigges , Against the high bench , with fough here s a stench , Gather vp then wench , seest thou not what 's fall , Take vp dirt and all , and beare out of the hall , God giue it ill preeuing , clenly as euill chieuing , But let vs turne plaine , where we left againe , For as ill a patch as that , the hens run in the mash-fat ; For they goe to roust , straight ouer the ale iust , And dong when it comes , in the ale tonnes : Then Eliinour taketh the mash-boule , and shaketh The hens dong away , and scomes it in a tray Where the yeast is , with her mangie fistis , And sometime she blens the dong of her hens And the ale together , and saies Gossip come hither , This ale shall be thicker , and flower the more quicker , For I may tell you , I learn'd it of a Iew , When I began to brew , and I haue found it trew , Drinke now while it is new , And ye may it brooke , it shall make you looke Yonger then you be , yeares two or three , For ye may proue it by me , behold I say and see How bright I am of blee , Ich am not cast away , that can my husband say , When we kisse and play in lust and in liking , He cals me his whiting , his mulling and his mittine , His nobes and his conny , his sweeting and honny , With Basse my pretty bonny , thou art worth good & mony , This make I my falyre fanny , till he dreame and dronny , For after all our sport , then will he rout and snort , Then sweetly together we lye , as two pigges in a stye , To cease me seemeth best of this tale to rest , And leaue this letter , because it is no better , Because 't is no sweeter , we will no farther rime Of it at this time , but we will turne plaine , Where we left againe .

Tertius Passus . In steede of quoine and mony , some bring her a conny , And some a pot with honny , some a salt , some a spone , Some their hose , some their shoone , some ran a good trot , With skillet or pot , some fill a bagge full Of good Lemster wooll , an huswife of trust , When she is a thirst , such a web can spin , Her thrift is full thin . Some goe straight thither , be it slaty or slidder , They hold the high-way , they care not what men say , Be they as be may . Some loth to be espide , Start in at the backside , Ouer hedge and pale , And all for good ale , some ran till they sweat , And bring Malt or Wheat , and Ellinour entteate , To byrle them of the best ; then comes another guest , Shee swear'd by the roode of rest , her lips are so dry , Withont drinke she must die , therefore fill by and by , And haue her pecke of Rye . Anon comes another , as dry as the to ther , And with her doth bring meale , salt , or other thing , Girdle or wedding ring , to pay for her scot , As comes to her lot : Some brings their husbands hood , Because the Ale is good ; another brought his cap To offer at the Ale-tap , with flaxe and with toe , And some brought sower dowe , with hey and with hoe , Sit we downe arow , and drinke till we blow , And pipe tirly , tirly lowe . Some lai'd to pledge , their hatchet and their wedge , Their hickell and their reele , their rocke & spinning wheele , And som went so narrow , they laid to pledge their wharrow , Their ribskin and spindle , their needle and thimble ; Heere was scant thirft , when they made such shift , Their thirst was so great , they neuer asked for meat , But drinke still drinke , and let the cat winke , Let vs wash our gummes from the dry crummes .

Quartus Passus Some for very neede lay downe a skaine of threed , Some beanes and pease , some chaffer dothe ase ; Sometime now and than , another there ran With a good brasse pan , her cullourfull wan ; Shee ran in all haste , vnbrac'd and 〈◊〉 , Tawny swart and sallow , like a cake of tallow , I sweare by all hallow , It was a stare to take The Deuill in a brake . Then came balting Ioue , and brought a 〈◊〉 Of Bacon that was 〈◊〉 , but Lord how 〈◊〉 , Angry and waspie , she began to yawne and gaspie , And bad Elinour goe bet , and fill in good met , It was deere that was farre fet . Another brought a spicke , of a Bacon sticke , Her tongue was very quicke , but she spake somewhat thicke . Her fellow did sammer and stut , but she was a foule slut ; For her mouth foamed , and her belly groaned . Ioue saine she had eaten a fyest , quene ( quoth st ; he ) thou lyest , I haue as sweete a breath , as thou with shamefull death , Then Elinour said , ye Callets , I shall breake your pallets , Without you now cease , and so was made a drunken peace . Then came drunken Ales , and she was full of tales Of tidings in Walles , and St. Iames in Gales , And of the Portingales , with loe Gossip I wis , Thus and thus it is , there hath beene great warre Betweene Temple Barre and the Crosse in Cheape , And there came a heape of Mill-stones in a rout , Shee speaketh thus in her snout , sniueling in her nose , As though she had the pose , loe here is an old tippet , You shall giue me a sippet of your strong Ale , And God send good sale , and as she was drinking , Shee fell in a winking with a barly hood , Shee pist where she stood , then began she to weepe , And forthwith fell a sleepe : Elinour tooke her vp , And blest her with a Cup of new Ale in cornes , Ales found therein no thornes , but supt it vp at once , Shee found therein no bones .

Quintus Passus . Now in commeth another rable , first one with a ladle Another with a cradle , and with a side sadle And 〈◊〉 began a fable , 〈◊〉〈◊〉 and a bable , 〈◊〉〈◊〉 silly 〈◊〉〈◊〉 with willy , Vp she start halfe lame , and scantly could goe , For paine and for woe . In came another dant , with a Goose and a Gant , Shee had a 〈◊〉 wesant , she was nothing pleasant , Necked like an Elephant , it was a Bullifant , A greedy 〈◊〉 Another brought Garlike-heads , another brought her bends Of let or of Cole , to offer to the Ale pole . Some brought a wimble , and some brought a thymble : Some brought a silke lace , and some a pin-case : Some her husbands Gowne , some a Pillow of downe ; And all this shift they make for the good Ale sake . Then start forth a Phisgigge , and she brought a Bore-pigge , The flesh thereof was ranke , and her breath strongly stanlke , Yet ere she went she dranke , and gate her great thanke Of Elinour for her ware , that she thither bare , To pay for her share . Now truly to my thinking , This was a solemne drinking .

Septimus Passus . Soft quoth one hight Sibbill , First let me with you bibbill ; Shee sate downe in the place With a sorry face , Whey-wormed about , Garnished was her snout , With here and there a puscull , Like a scabbed muscull : This Ale said she is noppy , Let vs sipp and soppy , And not spill a droppy , For so more I hoppy , It cooleth will my coppy . Dame ellinour said shee , Haue , here 's for me , A clout of London pins , And with that she begins The pot to her plucke , And dranke a good lucke , She swing'd vp 〈◊〉〈◊〉 At once for 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Her paunch was so 〈◊〉 And so with 〈◊〉 , Had she 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 She had 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Then began the 〈◊〉 Amongst the 〈◊〉〈◊〉 Dame Ellinour said they , Lend here a locke of 〈◊〉 , To make all things 〈◊〉 , You wot well 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 . But sir among all : That sate in 〈◊〉〈◊〉 There was a 〈◊〉〈◊〉〈◊〉 Sate like a Sainty , And began to painty , As though she would fainty , She made it as coy As a lege demoy , She was not halfe so wise As she was pecui●● 〈◊〉 , She said neuer a 〈◊〉 , But rose from the 〈◊〉 , And called for our Dame , Ellinour by name . WWe supposed Iwis , That she rose to piss● , But the very ground , Was to compound With Ellinour in the speace , To pay for her expence , I haue no penny nor great , To pay said she , God wot , For washing of my throat , But my Beades of 〈◊〉 , Beare them to your chamber , Then Ellinour did there hide Within her bed-side ; But some sa●● 〈◊〉〈◊〉 , That nothing had , There of their owne , Neither gelt nor paw●● , Such were 〈◊〉〈◊〉 , That had not a peny : But when they should walke , Were 〈◊〉〈◊〉 chalke , To score on the balke , Or score on the taile , God giue it ill 〈◊〉 , For my singers itch , I haue written to mych , Of this mad 〈◊〉 Of Ellinour Rumming Thus endeth the 〈◊〉 , Of this worthy feast . FINIS .