XII. mery iests, of the wyddow Edyth this lying widow, false and craftie, late i[n] Engla[n]d, hath deceiued many ... Now newly printed, this present yeare, for such as delite, mery iests for to here.

XII . mery Iests , of the wyddow Edyth , THis lying widow , false and craftie , Late in England , hath deceiued many : Both men and women of euery degree , As wel of the Spiritual , as temporaltie Lordes , Knights , and Gentlemen also : Yemen , Groomes , & that not long ago , For in the time of King Henry the eight She hath vsed many a suttle sleight , What with lieng , weepyng & laughyng Dissemblyng , boastyng , and flatteryng , As by this Booke hereafter doth appere Who so list the matter now for to here : No fayned Stories , but matters in deed Of. xii . of her Iestes , here may ye reede . Now newly printed , this present yeare , For such as delite , mery Iests for to here .

1573.

❧ The Contentes of of these . xii . mery Iestes folowyng .

THe first mery Iest , declareth : how this faire and merye Mayden Edyth , was maryed to one Thomas Ellys , & how she ran away with another , by whom she had a bastard Doughter and how she deceiued a Gentleman , bearynge him in hand , how her Doughter was Heire to faire Landes , and great Richesse .

¶ The second merye Iest : how this lying Edyth , made a poore man to vnthatch his House , bearyng him in hand , that she wold couer it with Lead : & how she deceiued a Barbour , makyng him beleue she was a widow , and had great aboundance of Gooddes .

¶ The thyrd mery Iest : how this wydow Edyth , deceiued her Hoste at Hormynger , & her Hoste at Brandonfery , and borowed money of them both : and also one mayster Guy , of whome she borowed iiii . Marks .

¶ The fourth mery Iest , how this wydow Edith deceiued a Doctor of diuinitie , at S. Thomas of Akers in London , of . v. Nobles he layd one for her , and how she gaue hym the slyp .

¶ The fifth merye Iest : how this wydow Edyth deceiued a man and his wife that were ryding on Pylgremage : of . iiii . Nobles that they laid out for her : & how she deceiued a Scriuener in London , whose name was M. Rowse .

¶ The sixt merye Iest : how this wydowe Edyth deceiued a Draper in London , of a new Gowne and a new Kyrtell : and how she sent hym for a Nest of Gobblets , & other Plate , to that Scriuener whome she had deceiued afore .

¶ The vii . mery Iest , how she deceiued a Seruant of Sir Thomas Neuells , who in hope to haue her in Mariage , with al her great Richesse , kepte her company , tyl al his money was spent : and then she tooke her flight , and forsooke him .

☞ The eight mery Iest , how this wydow Edyth deceyued a Seruant of the Byshop of Rochesters , with her coggynge , and boastynge of her great Richesse : who like wise thought to haue had her in Maryage .

¶ The , ix . mery Iest : how she deceiued a Lord , sometyme Earle of Arundell : & how he sent . v. of his men seruantes & a handmaid , to bere h●r company , & fetch her Doughter : who as she boasted , was an Heire of great Landes .

¶ The tenth merye Iest : how she deceiued three yong men of Chelsey , that were seruantes to Syr Thomas More , and were all three suters vnto her for Maryage : and what mischaunce happened vnto her .

¶ The xi . mery Iest : how she deceiued three yong men of the Lord Legates Seruants , with her great liyng crakyng & boastyng of her great Treasure and Iueiles .

¶ The. xii . merye Iest : how this wydow Edyth deceyued the good man of the three Cuppes in Holburne , and one Iohn Cotes : and how they both ryd with her to S Albons to ouersee her houses & landes : and how thei were rewarded .

¶ FINIS .

¶ The Preface , IN the Cittie of Exceter by West a way The tyme not passed hence many a day . There dwelled a Yoman discrete and wise , At the Signe of the Flowerdelyse . Which had to name Iohn Haukyn , Discended he was of an honest line : A Man but of a meane stature , ¶ * ⁋ Full well compact in euery feature . Broad he was from pine to pine , ( * ) And red in the face when he dranke wine : ¶ ‡ ⁋ Blacke was his Haire , and hooked his nose , And now and then , had the cough and the pose . A sycknesse rayned vpon him aye , ¶ * ⁋ Which troubled him sore night and daye : Beside the Cough , a bloudy flyx , ( * ) And euer among a deadly yex . ( ● ) Which brought him to his finall day ( ‡ ) But ere that tyme . I wyll you say ¶ * ⁋ He dyd espouse within that Countrie In processe of yeares Wiues three : Each after other in mirth and game , Women of great substaunce and fame . And namely the last wedded wyfe , With whom he liued withouten stryfe : T●e space of full fyfteen● yeare , By than : he was layd on a Beare . A Daughter he had within band of maryage , By his last Wife , a worthy caryage : Which named was Edyth at the Fontstone , Of. ii . women and a man , of blood and bone . And when that her Father was layd in graue , ¶ * ⁋ From fyre and water her to saue . Her Mother aye dyd her busy cure , As Mothers done by course of nature : And vertuously as I haue hard say , ¶ * ⁋ She brought vp her daughter night and day . Charging her vpon her blessyng , That she ne should medle with any thing : That sowned vnto good huswyfry , But aye study to forge and lye : And countenaunce it right well therto , ¶ * ⁋ In euery place where she dyd go . This Childe obeyng her Mother deare , Answered to her as you shall heare : Mother she sayde , I am your Daughter , I wyll endeuour my selfe there after : While that I liue , I shall resigne ¶ * ⁋ All such as pertayne to verteous dicyplyne . My study shal be : how I may conclude In things the people to delude : ¶ Thus is the Mother and Daughter agréed , Now go sayd the Mother , God thée , speed : Thomas Ellys loueth thée well perfay , And woeth thée fast day by day : His desyre is to haue thée to wyfe , And to liue together all your lyfe . Wed him hardely spare not a dele , ¶ * ⁋ And take another , when he hath not his hele : Daughter , meke mery whiles thou may , For this world wyll not last alway . ¶ * ⁋ She promised her Mother to doo full well , Euery thing after her counsell . ¶ FINIS .

The fyrste merye Iest : declareth , how this faire & wel nurtured Damsel Edyth , was maryed to one Thomas Ellys : and how she ran away with another , by whome she had a bastard Doughter : and how she deceyued a Gentleman , who ( for her worthinesse ) preferred her to Sir Thomas Dennys , before whom she auouched her Doughter to be Heire of faire landes . THomas Ellys she maryed for a yeare or two , And then left hym , and away dyd go : With a seruant of the Erle of Wyltshyre , The which payd her well her hyre . By hym in aduoutry a childe she had , Which dyed when it was but a Lad : Than her Lemman cast her vp , Go where she wold , gup queane gup : She toke her way from thence ouer , To a Towne called Andouer . And there she made a Gentylman Beleue that she was from hym gone , To seeke her a friend , which in her right Would defend her with mayne and might , For great wrong she said she had : And by mighty hand , was sore bestad . And by mighty hand wrongfully rest Both house and lande , and nothyng to her left , And what so he were that of good Affection , wolde her helpe : the whole disposition Of her onely Doughter he should haue , which is a great Heyre , God her saue : This Gentilman went her right , To Syr Thomas Dennis a worshipfull Knight Informyng hym , how that it stood , With this wydow , of gentle blood . And how that she had a Doughter and Heire , Tender of Age , goodly and fayre : Which should inherite successiuely , Both house and lande : and that good plentie . And who that would helpe her to her ryght , Should haue her Doughter day and nyght , In honestie to vse : and her selfe both , whiche thyng she bound with a great Othe . ¶ The Knight hearyng this euery dell , Bad the gentylman , no longer to dwell , But walke with her , and fet her Doughter , And we shall commyn more hereafter . Then they departed , and wandred right foorth , Tyl they with good speed cam both to Wainsworth And there the gentylman , full well did espie , How the c●ggyng queane , most falsly dyd lye . Then would he no lenger geue heede to her talke But bad her be packyng with a vengeance , & walke And neuer to come in his sight any more . Syr , no more I wyl not ( quoth she ) & god before .

The second mery Iest : how this liynge Wydowe Edyth , made a poore man to vnthatch his House , and bore him in hand , she would bestow the coueryng of it with Lead : and how she deceiued a Barbour , makyng hym beleue she was a Wydowe , and had great abundance of Richesse . FRom Wainsworth than , she tooke her way . To liew : where then , the Lord Chamberlayn lay And not far from his place , a good long space , In a poore mans house lodged she was : And was in good credence with him in deede , She seing the house couered with reede : Sayd to her Hoste vpon a day , Mine Host ( quod she ) next to the hye way , Take ye the thak of your house a downe , It is a foule sight buttyng on the towne : Haue it away fast , leaue the Rafters bare , And for a new couering take ye no care . It shal be hilled agayne ere it be long , But loke ye wel that the Rafters be strong : For I tell you they shall beare a great weight Hoste ( quod she ) I sweare by this light : I wyll haue that end couered with Lead , Came neuer such a couering ouer thy head . Nor none of thy kin I may say to thee , It lyeth in my Store house , so mote I thee . In fayre playne rolles new melt with glede , My Plommer bestowed it , I pray God hym spede An honest man is he , and expert in that Art , The selfe s●me day that he did depart A way from my house I cannot tell where , Many a fayre Noble with him he did bere . Her Hoste when be had hard this tale , With his hands his cap he gan avale : And with his knees flexed , sayd vnto her there I cry you mercy Mistris , what do you here ? In this poore cotage which is not meete for you Holde thy peace ( quod she ) for I wil not be kno What I am as yet ▪ and for consideration , Go thou thy way and worke after the facion . As I haue sayd : & looke thou speke no worde But is none of my Lords seruants at bord With you ( quod she ) nor hawnte they not heare It is lyke that they should , for you haue good beere . Yes ( quod her hoste ) now and then among , My Lords Barbour is here , with many a good song A liuely yong man I tell you & full of corage , Somtyme we haue here , our whte Wine with borag And waters pyping hot , out of the glede , We chat and laugh it out , so God me spede : Mistresse folke must nede be mery somtyme . Hoste , ye say true by holy , Saint Sym : Quod the wydow , but let vs go to dinner , It is . xii . of the cloke and somwhat ouer : Into the house they go , and take refection , And after they fell in further communication . This yong man that barbour as he was accustomed Came in sodenly and biddeth them God spede : Welcome my guest ( quod the good man of that house ) How haue you done , since we eate the sowse : The last night ye remember to bedward ? Tut and it were a stone neuer so hard Quoth this barbour , it should disgest with me For somtime when it wyll not forge , I drinke a little lamp Oyle , & cast vp my gorge And then forth with , I am as hole as a trowt , But Hoste , ( quod he ) what woman went out At the Dore now : doe you know her well ? By gods body Thomas barbour , I shal thee tel She is a widow of late come to towne , But at al aduentures , I had leuer than my gowne Thou were sure to her , for she to me sayd , She is worth a. M. li. and euery man payd Besyde land , I cannot tell how mych , The barbour gan to claw there it did not ych Holde your peace ( quod he ) she commeth in againe , Mistresse sayd Thomas , wil it plese you to drink And be ye mery , and vse not to think : Me semeth , it becommeth a wel fauoured wight And namely a woman to be glad and light . Yong man ( quod she ) I thank God of his lone , I haue no great cause to make any mone : I knowledge this , that God hath indewed me An hundred folde better than I am worthye : And I pray to hym , that I neuer do the thing Which is contrary , vnto his hye pleasyng : Gods blessig haue you ( sayd Thomas barbour ) Forsooth ye speake lyke a good Cristian creature But let vs leaue al this , & make some good cheare Ostes , fyll vs another pot with beere Quod that Barbour , & bid this gentilwoman welcome Mistrisse sayd that good wife , this is all & some , Ye be hartely welcome , euen at one worde And therwith she droue the Cat of the borde And made rome for a dish or two more . This wydow had vnder her chin , a sore That Surgeons cal Noli me tangere , Which when the barbour did espye He sayd Misterisse , may I be so bolde ? Nay yet I will not touch it , for my hand is colde I pray you what is this , God saue the mark ? A thing ( quod she ) that I wyll take no great cark , For Surgery therto : for I was borne so , I thank God whether I ryde or go : It doth not greue me otherwise than you see And it is no great blemysh , so mote I thee Quod the Barbour , but a lytell eye sore : Now Mistrisse , do ye gladly , I can no more , I trust we shall make better chere then this , And then he began for to coll her and kysse : So long they were dalliyng , both day and night Tyll eche had others their trouth yplyght , whiche was the same day , as I hard say , That the thatch of the house was pulled away And asked they were in holy churche , where Christs workemen do wurche . But when he by long communication , Knew her falshod and dissimulation , And after he perceiued , he was begyled , In all the haste , his wife he exyled , Ratyng her with termes somthyng rude , And here of hym , I wyll conclude .

The thyrd merye Iest : how this Wydow Edyth , decyued her Hoste at Hormynger , and her Hoste at Brandonfery , and borowed money of them both and also , one Mayster Guy , of whom she borrowed iiij . Marke . THis wydow then walked withouten fere , Tyll that she came to Hormynger : within two myles of S Edmunds bery . And there she abode , full iocunde and mery . For the space fully of . vi . weekes day , : And borrowed money there as she lay Her old lyes she occupied styll . The people gaue credence her vntyll . At Thetford she sayd her stuffe lay , Which false was proued vpon a day : Than one master Lee committed her to ward And little or nought she dyd it regard : On the vi day after deliuered she was , And at her owne lyberty to passe and repasse . Then straight way she toke to Brandonfery , In all her lyfe was she neuer so mery . And there she borrowed of her Hoste , Thirteene shillings : with myc●●● boste Of her great substance , which she sard she had , To Bradefolde straight her Hoste she lad : Where she sayde that she dwelled as than . And when she came thyther , she fild him a can Full with good ale , and sayd he was welcome , For his thirteene shillings , she had him bum And laughed tyghe , no more could he haue . An oth he sware so God hym saue : The Iustice should know of her deceyt , A whore ( quod he ) ●eyt whore , 〈…〉 eyt . The Iustice 〈◊〉 was master Lee. He sent her to Saint Edmunds berye , And there in the Iayle halfe a yeare , She continewed without good cheare . But after she was deliuered out , Upon a 〈…〉 doubt . My Lorde Abbot commanded it should so bee , When he was remembred of his charitye . From thence she departed . & to Coulme she come Wher with her lyes all and some : She sudiorned , and was at horde . In an house of my Lord of Oxenforde Wherin a seruant of his owne did dwell . Which brewed bere : but none to sell , The Brewer was called Iohn Douchmon . With whom . vi . dayes she dyd won : Then after to Stratford at the bow She repayred right as I trow , And. vii . dayes there she abode : Spreding her lyes all abrode . In which tyme one Maister Gye , Supposing nought that she did lye : And trustyng of not to haue some good Fowre Marks , by the swete roode He lent her out of his purs anon , And ashed ay , when she wold gon . To the place where her goods were layd , Which was at Barking ( as she sayd ) Master Guy and his sister both , To ride with her ; they were not loth , Ne grudged nothing , till they perceiued That she had them 〈◊〉 deceiued Than Master Guy with 〈◊〉 moode , In the place there as they stoode ; Raft her both Kyrtle , and gowne And in her Peticote : to the Towne He sent her forth , Mahound her saue , For his . iiii . Marks . no more could he haue . ¶ FINIS ▪

The fourth mery Iest , how this Wyddow Edyth deceiued a Doctor of Diuynitie at S. Thomas of Akers in London of fiue Nobles that he lay out for her ; and how shee gaue him the slip . TO Barkyng than she tooke her gate , And lodged she was , at the Abbay yate : For a day , or two , till she could prouide A Gowne : and then wolde no lenger byde In that quarter she thought it not best , She deemd her profyt , there did not rest . Namely so neate the Nunnes nose , In a mornyng she got her ouer the close : West warde she yede the soth to saye , And came to London that same daye At Londonistone , she was hosted , And there she prated and she bosted , Of much fayre stuffe that she had , The which stuffe she wolde be glad For the loue of Christ to forsake . And Mantle and Ring for to take : She prayed her Hoste after a day or two . To let his worke , and with her to go : And bring her to some discrete man , The which full well tell can : What belongeth vnto that thing . I meane the Mantle and the Ring : Of him she sayd , she would confessed be , Desyring the hole Trinitie : To be her ayde in that foresayde mater , Her Host brought her to S. Thomas of Aker : And there she was prouided anone , I tell you for trothe of such a one : As knew by learning what was to do , In such busynes , and what longeth therto . A Doctor he was of hie deuinytie , Called deuoute and ful of charitie : A good publysher of Gods word , In Church and Towne , and sitting at the Bord. This world dispising night and day , All mundayne glory , he wold saye I wholy defye , and vtterly forsake , The Deuyll ( quod he ) shall them al take : That loueth these riches , and pomp temporall , More then God that sent them all . They shall neuer see their maker in the face : With Sathan prepared is their place : In the dark dongeon , in the region alow , Of ioy and blis neuer for to know , More sinfull liuyng was neuer vsed , Than is now a dayes : no vice refused : And worst of all , with vs of the Church , That should teach other , how they should wurch , And to shew them the way to heauens blisse , Where our Sauiours dwelling is : O God , why doe we not so ? Why doe we not let these Beneficies go ? Why do we retayne more then suffises ? Why do we not geue vnto them that cries ? Why fyll we our Bellyes ? and let other go withoute Why doe we not walke out all aboute ? Why doe we not pray and watch all night ? Why doe we not our duty , as it is right ? Why doe we not let mens wiues alone ? And fylly poore : wenches , making their mone Why obserue we not : the precepts of God ? What yf we be punished with our owne rod ? Whom shall we erecte the fault vnto ? But to our selfes that can neuer say bo : And one thing ther is , that maketh my hart to blede As oft as I think theron so god me spede This coueitousnesse vsed , with men of my facultye , Oh , what meane they ? Christs holy benedicitie , Can they not be content with iiii . no 〈…〉 fyue , I trow they wold that no man should thriue : But them selfes onely , an heauy case , I know one man whersoeuer he was That hath vt . benefices , and yet not content And the least of them is . xx . ii . rent : I meane by the yeare , and the cure serued , And no good is don , but all reserued : It is maruell to see the vnsaciable mind , That can neuer be ful fylled , before nor behind : I assute you , I could be wel pleased With iiii . such promocions : & hold me wel eased As for a certayne time , tyl an other fall , Welcome good wyfe , what say you to all This world ? now ( quod be ) haue done let see , Sir sayd this Widow , vnder benedicitie . I haue for to speak if it lyke you to heare ? Come your wayes ( quod be ) & be of good cheare Dispayre not what so euer the matter bee , I shall go betwene the Feend and thee . And eke discharge thee agayne our heauen king If that you wyll doe after my teaching ? Wherfore begin ye in Christs holy name , Breake your mind hardly , auoyde all shame . She kneeled them a down on her knees deuoutly And tolde her confessour many a great lye : And of the treasure that she had in store , And when that she could tell no more , Master Doctor bad she should be mery He sayd Ego absoluo te , Forte sic , forte non . And when that they had al done Out of the C●●●ch they went both , She promised him a Gowne of cloth : Of Scarlet coulour very fine in grayne , And an hoode therto , to kepe him from the rayne She promised him beside all that , He should haue , ye mary algate : Of Goblets no more but a nest , And of other things she made him hest , So that he wolde , while she were in towne , Walke with her vp and downe : And lay out mony alway as she neede , And three times double so god her speede : He should haue agayne within three dayes Therin should be made no delayes . Master Doctor was well content , And in the Cittie before her he went : So long : tyll that he had out layd , Of his owne money , and for her payd : Fiue Nobles , if the reknyng be right ? And then anone she stale away by night . Master Doctor thought great vnkindnes , That he was so serued for his gentylnes : But she is gone what remedy now , His money shal be payd hym , I wot neuer how .

The fyfth mery Iest , how this wydow deceyued a man & his wife that were goynge on pilgremage : who layd out for her . iiij . Nobles : and how she deceiued a Scriuener in London , whose name was Rowse . BUt more wyll I tel you in very deede , Of this wydow , whom I pray god speede Shortly after she walked by the Thems side Not far from a way where folke did tide : Among all other a man and his wife , She saw riding withouten stryfe , Both being of meetly good age , It semed that they were on pilgremage : Toward Canterbery . or some other place , Where as it pleased god of his grace : But where ere they ryd , or to what end , Right soone she made them both discend : Downe from their caple to the cold ground , For she fared as she wold her selfe drownd : This goodmans name , was called Iohn Frank , His wyfe Annes , a Dame full crank : Both they came ronning in great hast , Toward this wydow , fullsore agast : Leest that she ere they come neare , Wolde spill her selfe , she made such cheare . Iohn Frank cryed , woman remember thee , What intendest thou ? aye benedicteie : Thynk on God and banysh the fowle feend Beware of dispayre , thy selfe not shend : She stayed at that , and sighed sore , And sayd belssed be you , I can no more : For had ye not come the sooner , verely I should haue ben damned perpetually , But I pray you now , tel me what I shal doe Quod this frank come away & with vs go And tell vs further of your estate Then ( quod she ) I haue great hate , God I take to iudge for mine owne right , My goods ar taken away by might : Undone I am standyng on this ground , I am scarcely left worth . iii hundreth pound , As in mouable substance , beside a lytell lande , Whiche mine husbande left vnto my hand , For she sayd , that her husbande was a great man Of lande , and sayd that he was dea● ta●l , God assoyle his soule ( quod she ) he was kind to me And I trust , I quyt his kyndenes quod she ) For all folke saiyng , God forgeue them . This Frank desyred her to walke with hym , As farre as London , and he would do his payne , That she might be restored agayne : And the malefactors punished what soeuer they be Wydow dread ye nothyng , quod he , But come on this way in the name of any lorde , And I shall bryng you where ye shall be at boord with a frende of myne , in an honest howse , The good mannes sir name is called Rowse : There ye shall be honestly intreated , But where is the Stuffe wherof ye speaked ? At Kyngston , at Kyngston , then quod she I care not muche for it , so mot I thee , Ne for all this world , and therwith she gan wepe This Frankes hart than in his body lepe , This game thought he goeth fayre and well . He requyred her no more to tell , As at that tyme : but went foorthryght And came to their lodgyng before nyght . To Frankes frende , as I tolde you before , A Scryuener he was , and wrought full sore , To hym they were welcome and welcome agayn And specially , when Frank had tould him certain what woman she was , and of what substance . Then she tould the Scryuener of the great dystance That she was at ●or her ryght , And much wrong she had by meanes of a knight whiche shal be nameles as yet , ( quod she ) Tyll I see my tyme auenged for to bee . God wyll sende me once a frende I truste Before whiche tyme , I can take no rest , Nother in body , nor in conscience . Tary ye here , sayd the Scryuener go ye not hence And we shall haue frendes ynow for money , I wyll not sticke for that , truely quod she , Howbeit my money is almost spent , But I haue other thynges , whiche shal be hent , And money made therof me to defende , I neuer had that Iewell , so God me mende , In all my lyfe , but could finde in myne hert , In tyme of neede , therwith to depart . At Kyngston on Temmes I haue certayne Plate , Xl. poundes wurthe for all this mortall hate , And other thynges withall , els I be shrewe some ▪ She desyred her Hoste to her for to come , I haue quod she to tell you in p●iuitie : Step ye a lytell apart , let your busynes bee ▪ Into the shop they go out of the hall , And than she began for to tell hym all , And more too by an hundreth lyes , The Scryuener thanked her . xl . sythes , For she had made to hym graunt Of part of her Plate , wherof she made vaunt ▪ And the keepyng of altogether he shuld haue An Othe she sware , so God her saue Of all her treasure , she cared nor a myte , So that she might her enemyes acquyte . But Hoste quod she , my friende leefe and dere , I pray you of your good counsell here : This wretched worlde I am mynded to forsake , And chastytie for to avowe and take , All my causes I am content to resine Into your handes , myne owne Hoste myne , Doo as ye lyst , be it good or yll , Ye shall haue all to order at your wyll : The Scryuener sayd , gramercy Maistresse , Forsothe quod he , ye intende well doubtlesse , If ye wyll do as ye say , I holde well withall Than he called Iohn Franke out of the Hall , And made hym preuie vnto euery thyng . She said vnto them both , that she ought offeryng To Sainct Sauiours , and she would very fayne Go pay her Offeryng , and then returne agayne . And after she said , that she would desire Her Hoste to wryte her Testament for hyre And last wyll , whyle she were in good mynde , So discretly that as for vnkinde , Her frendes should not hold her another day , whan that her presence is hence away . The Scryuener & Frank both , praysed her gretly For her good purpose : and said to her truely , To performe your Pylgremage , it is well done , And I my selfe shall wayt you vpon Quod Iohn Franke , and eke I wyll prouyde , A Mayden seruant , to walke by your side . Toward Saynt Sauiours in haste she yede , As ye haue heard beyng accompanied . ¶ Rowsys wyues best Kyrttyll and Gowne She weared on her backe throw the towne , Which was lent her of good affection , Because that her owne was welnye done Frank was her amner , & layd out to the poore , By the way as they went , & at the Church dore : Of his owne proper money , which did amount To the some of . ii . Marks , by true account . And while they were forth this Rowse the Scriuener Sent to Kingston for to enquyre Of her treasure there being in mew , But in all the towne , she was not worth a q. How be it , she was there , full well I know The people laughed all on a row : Home goeth the messenger and told in hast , Unto the Scriuener all this quoynt cast : By coks soule ( quod he ) it is not so I hope , Els ( quod the seruant ) hang me with a rope . For I haue enquyred substancyally In euery place I tel you by and by By our Lady masse then all is not right , But whist no more , she wyll be heare to night My cosen Frank wyl not let her depart away , Thou shalt heare other tidings to morow or day . At fiue of the clocke in the after noone , These Pilgrims came home ful soone : And anon was layd to this widows charge , With hye words out at large : Her falce deceipt from poynt to poynt Than stoode she in great disioynt , And no reason could she aledge nor say , For her excuse , but gan for to pray : Nay then sayd that Scriuener , god geue me sorow , How be it thou shalt tary heare tyl to morow And then forth shalt thou , sterk belly naked , With dogs arrand quen , thou shalt be bayted . The Scriuener was halfe ashamed of this , And at . iii. of the cloke , when he rose to pisse He put forth his gest on the backside , Without companyon or any guide , Her Gowne and her kyrtle he tooke away , And Frank went to Fuliam on the next day : Deferring his pylgremage to Caunterbery Full sad he was and nothyng mery : His mony was gone and spent indede The blessed Marter quit him his mede . ¶ FINIS .

The syxth mery Iest , how this wydow Edyth deceiued a Draper in London of a new Gowne : & a new Kyrtell , and how she sent him for a nest of Goblets to the Scriuener that she had deceiued afore . HEre wyll I tary no lenger while But to the wydow agayne my stile I shal direct : and tell some deale more Of her pastime , and God before . In the Cittie she walked in her Peticote , Yet at the last , acquayntaunce she gote Out of her old walke , on the other side . A Draper there was , that loued no pride : To whom she preferred her accustomed craft Lye after lye , and sayd she was beraft : A greate part of her goods , full wrongfully . Alas ( quod the Draper ful piteously ) It is ruth , to see you go so slender : I shall mend it ( quod she ) when I come yender To winsore ( I trust ) where my stuff is , Gods curse haue they , that make me doe this . Master mine ( quod she ) I pray you be not wroth Might I be so bolde , as of your hole cloth To desire you for to deliuer vnto me As much as wyll suffyse ( quod she ) To make a large Gowne , and a Kyrtell , And I shall pay you therfore , full well : When I come to winsor , & after your owne price , So that ye set not on me all the dice : But let me haue a peny worth for a peny . Mistresse sayd the Draper if there be any Ware in the Shop : that wyll doe you good You shal haue it , I swere by the roode : So that ye put me in good suretie For my money : for I know you not truely . Syr sayd the wydow , if it be your pleasure ? To commaund your seruant to ride to Wynsore : In my company within these . vi . dayes , You shal haue your money without any delayes And a pleasure withall , for your good wyll . Forsooth ●●yd the Draper , you speake good shyll And shortly without any interogation , He deliuered vnto her at the motion : Of broade cloth . iiii . yardes ful wely mote And eke as much as wolde make her a cote A Kyrtell I wolde say of good wolstet , And commanded his seruant for to beare it : To the Taylour to be made in hast . And on the. 4. day after , when she had toke repast The Draper sent a Iurneyman of his With her to Winsore , the way they did not mis. A gardeuyaunce the seruant with him bare Therin to bring thence all the short ware : That she had promised the Draper before , He should haue in keping , I can no more . To winsore they came . ii . houres before night , And at a dore off her horse down she light : And in she goth , no more but for a countenaunce , And came out agayne , saying with a vengeaunce : They must go by water and the way so fayre , But I think they lacked horse to repayre . The seruant a broade walkyng the horses , Hard her wel , when she sayd al this : No force ( quod he ) I shall haue the lesse to cary , So you shal sayd she , nor ye nede not to tary . But set vp your horse therfore anon , In some Inne , and in the meane season I shal hastely go wright a skrow , To certyfie your master shortly as I trow . The seruant to an Inne the horses had , While she caused the letter to be made . And then gaue it him , and bad him go to bed To Colbroke : wher his horse better might be fed . And syr she sayd , I thanke you for your payne , Your master wyl be plesed this letter when he hath laine A cup with ale at that dore she made him drink . And then he rode to Colbroke , ere time was to wink And to London on that morow , & deliuered his letter Unto the Draper that was his master The letter bad that he sholde resorte To a Scriuener , take hede what I reporte He dwelleth in chepeside , and his name is Rouse Byd him deliuer you out of his house By such a token , an hole nest of Goblets A dosen of spoones , se there be no lets , A standyng cup with a couer percell gilt . Now thoght that Draper , I haue in my hand the hilt I wyl plede in possession might I that possed To the Scriuener his seruant he sent with spede , For this foresayd geare , and bid him not tary This seruants name was called Harry . His errand he sayeth vnto the Scriuener And diligently this Rouse gaue an eare From the begynnyng , markyng his tale well , And when the Seruant had tolde euery dell , The Scryuener sayd , I wyl delyuer none to thee Go home and byd thy Maister come to mee : I wyll so answere hym , that he shal be content . The Seruant in haste to his Master went , And tolde hym that he must him selfe repayre , For this Plate so costly and so fayre . A , I see well quod the Draper , this man is no foole , Loe what it is , to put a childe to scoole To learne wisdome , while he is yong . Upon his way , he walked so long , Tyll he came thither , and gan to tell his tale . Neibor quod the Scriuener , let vs drynk som ale And speake no more in this matter for shame , For ye are begyled , and I am the same . Nay by cockes body , I put you out of doubt , Sayd the Draper , ye shall not laugh it out With me after suche maner : for I wyll haue it in deed Ye shal haue none of me by Christs crede Quod the Scriuener , get it where ye can , But harken what I shall tell you man , Let me rownd in your eare that no body know For and if it be abroade yblow , we shal be laughed to scorne both , Wherfore Neyghbour , looke ye be not wroth : She shewed you she had Plate , and so she told me But all the good she hath is not wurth a peny . I haue it proued , therfore leaue your sighyng , This shall be good I tell you for our learnyng . Good quod the Draper in the Deuylles name , A vengeance lyght on her and open shame . By the holy Masse quod he , I wil haue tde quean Els , it shall cost me the labour of all my men , For the space I tell you of this fortnyghts daye , She shal be punyshed truely , as I you say , To the ensample of all other , & god grant me lyfe Farewel neighbor , I wyl go dine with my wife . Sayd the Draper sith it wyl be non other , A dieu neighbor , and fare well quod the tother . This Draper went him home in all the haste And commanded his seruant to take repaste : And after to ride as fast as he can , To winsor and demaund for this woman : And if it so betyde , thou canst her finde ? Take an officer and fast her bynde : Se her bestowed , and then come and tell me , And by my thyrst shortly wyl I see : What the Law wil say to that hore & theese both I pray thee make spede , & take my boots of cloth : Draw them on thy legs , for the way is depe , The seruant in hast , vpon his horse lepe And rode to winsor , by then it was night , And at an Inne where he dyd alight : He hard tell that the widow was gon Where ne whether wist no man .

The seuenth mery Iest who this wydow Edyth deceiued a seruant of Syr Thomas Neuelles , who in hope to haue her in maryage with all her great riches kepte her company tyll all his money was spent : and then she went to séeke her Fréendes . THe seruant to London retourned agayne , And on the next morow she was seene in Southwark where she dyd abyde , The space of . iii. dayes , and then away dyd ryde with carryars into Sussex the sothe to say , And at Towton she arryued vpon a day , And there not farre from a knyghtsplace : Nyne dayes her tarying was . In whiche tyme , a Seruyng man , Ha wnted that House now and than , With whom she gan to curry fauell , His Maister was Sir Thomas Neuell . She promised hym to be his Spouse , And desired him to ryde to her house : To see her treasure , and also her store , I wyll quod she sende hym before , If that ye wyll tell me what tyme ye wyll fare , Some of my frendes forsoth shal be thare , And eke my tenantes , as their dutie is . Then he began her to halfe and kysse , Saying ▪ hart roote , if it please you , I am all redy , and it were euen now , I wot well my Maister wyll not say me nay And if that I be furth a Monethes day So that I tell hym where aboutes I am , He wyll not be angry : but in Goddes name , Peraduenture he wil say , where hast thou ben so long Than , and I make curtsie & hold my tong He hath done with the twinklyng of an eye . But after that I haue told hym truely , That I ryde with you he wyl be wel content , Once considering the cause the fine of our intent . Well then quod she , on Saterday in the morning Let vs ryde forth our way fastyng And at Senock there will we bayt , I feare least my Gerle take some concept Because that I am so long her fro , It is , xvi . weekes and som what mo Sinc I garnished her with the signe of the Crosse , She learneth her boke , with the goodman Rosse In Senock towne , not far from the Church Ye know him welynow , for he doth worch And maketh Carpets now and than : Trew you say ( quod he ) I know that man Now in sooth I will go and ask my master leaue And here is a Ring which I you geue , Upon condition ye wot wel what : Yes I warrant you quod she , I remember that Then farewel honycombe til I se you againe , God be with you , and shield you from the raine Sayd the wydow , but loke that you tell , Unto your master wisely and well : All our foreward , and leaue nothing behinde . Yes , yes quod he , as ye shal wel finde : To his master he goeth , as fast as he can , And desired him of licence an on : To ryde with this widow , a lytell way , As far as her house , at S. Mary Skray : And I trust in God omnipotent , My labour in vayne , shal not be spent . His master gaue him leaue for to ride , Worke wisely ( quod he ) what so euer betide And if that her daughter be borne to land , Than I aduise thee to fall in hand : With the child , and let the mother go . By God sayd the seruant , and peraduenture so I wyll yet doe , when I haue seene both : And vpon the fryday , forth he goth : Toward this widow ioly , and amorous , She was lodged in an honest mans house . That night they made mery , with fyl the cup , fil And on the morow , they ride forth at their will . To Senock they come , by than it was prime And goeth to dinner all by tyme , They made good cheare , and spared for no cost The wydow of new gan for to bost . But of her daughter , she spake no worde , And when that taken vp was the borde : And all payde for , that was come in , Come hether ( quod she ) swete hart mine , I requyre you that you wyll take the way , As fast as ye can , to S. Mary Skray : And demaunde there , for the wydows house That lately was both wise and Spouse , To such a man , whose soule god pardon , And when that ye come , to the house anone : Ye shal say vnto my seruant there I meane him that is charged with my gere , And all my houshold stuffe in my absence , That he ere euer ye depart from thence : Shew you mine house round all about , And eke my commodities , within and without And when you haue viewed euery thing , Than bid my seruant , without tarying : Leade you fast into my closet ryght , And doe vp the window , to let in the light . Unlocke the dore , with this same key , If I trusted you not I swere by my fay , Ye should not come so neare my gromelseede , And take no more than I you bede . Within my closet ye shal anon finde A little Casket that standeth al behinde My ship Coffer downe 〈◊〉 by the wall , Beare with you the Casket prety and small . But I charge you take none other thing For and you doe at my returning , I shall know all : therfore now take heede Mary sayd the yong man God forbede Seing that ye do trust me so wel , Go your wayes then quod she : & here I wyl dwell , Tyl ye come agayne , but looke ye make haste : I wyll ride ( quod he ) euen all as fast . As my Geldyng can beare me away . Forth he galopeth to saint Mary Skray And there he inquered . as she hym bad And anon perfect tidings he had That he was begiled : for there was no man Could tell any tidings of such a woman . Then a way rideth he as fast as he may , And came to Senock at the next day . But he could not come to 〈…〉 her to soone , But ere euer that he came , the wydow was gone : No body could tell wether she 〈◊〉 yede . Master Neuels seruant 〈…〉 good speede Being in his minde ▪ not well content For some money he had her sent And payd for her cost , I cannot tell what Yea , with a mischife I could not beware that Quod he than : but yet no force let go I wyl be aduised agayne or I doe so .

The eyght mery Iest , how this wydow Edyth deceiued a seruant of the Byshop of Rochesters with cogging and boastyng of her great Richesse : who likewise thought to haue had her in mariage . THe Wydow northward tooke her way , And came to Rochester the next day : And there within a little space , To a yongman that seruant was Unto the Byshop in the Towne : She promised him dale and downe On that condition he wolde her wed . And keepe her company at boord & in bed : This yongman was glad and light , Now thought he I shal be made a knight : By the meanes of this gentlewomans store , Gramercy Fortune I can no more : He permytted in hast to be assembled , With her at the church and there resembled : Or ioyned in one flesh , that is dying ▪ And two soules euermore liuyng . Good cheare he made her in her Inne , And eke be would not neuer blinne Tyl be he had brought her to his Lorde , Before whom they were at accorde Upon a condition maryed to be , Which condition was if that she . Could performe all that she had sayd He wolde then marry her , it should not be delayd Here vpon they departed and forth went. On the morow my Lorde for her sent . To dyne with him and to commen further , Then was she gone : but when and whether No wyght any worde of her could tell , But yet she walked to my Lorde of Arundell .

The nynth mery Iest , how this wydow Edyth deceyued a Lorde , somtime Earle of Arundell : and how he sent fiue of his men seruantes and a handmayden to beare her company , and fetch her daughter who as she boasted was Heyre of great Landes . ANd there anon she tould the Earle , That she had a daughter a little gerle : Which was borne to be Heyre To great inheritaunce & lands good and fayre And mouable substance not a lyte , If it please God her to respyte . And graunt her lyfe tyll she succeede , Her elders aliue : of whose lede She is issued by lyne all dissent . And eke she sayd or that she went , That her daughter should holde land Heareafter when it commeth to her hand , Of that Earle and pay hym rent , Wherfore she sayd that she was contet : His Lordship should haue her to dispose And mary her as him best suppose . Unto gentylman Yeman or Grome She wold haue her daughter come : If it pleased his Lordship it should so he ? She wood fetch her into that contrie . The Earle was contented it should be so , And bad his seruants for to go That is to say , to the number of fiue , And redy make them bliue : To wayt on this gentil woan & bring her thither She her-selfe could not tell whether Notwithstanding she did say , That her housshold was at Foots Scray : Where she retayned great famely . As they shall well find sykerly , At their repayre , and God before . And foorth they ride without more : She was accompayned as I haue sayd , With fiue yemen and a Mayde . And all they woed as they rode , Each to him selfe at large abrode : One sheweth his lustynes & mastery , An other taketh vp his horse on hye The thyrd sayd that he had treasure in store The fourth sayd that he had mychle more . The fyft was a man of few words At the last he sayd , a straw for your boords , Paraduentre he is here that saith not all , That somwhat could say ; if nede should fall , Be mery Wydow , then ( quod he ) And cast a Sheps ep 〈…〉 on me : For though that I ride pensiue and styll , Perhaps yet I could satisefy ▪ your wyll . As well as some other , though I cry not out But all this while she cast about How she might conueniently steale them fro , But at a woods side it happened so : A fayre house there was whrch she sayd Her husband bought it and for it payd . Two yeares before he let his lyfe , And she was now in mikell stryfe : For the sayd house and lands withall And sued she was in Westmynster hall , Great thought she toke for a freend , That in her right wold her defend . One of the company that hard this , Fayned him to light downe to pis : Purposedly for to go to enquyre Of this matter to know yf that it were As she had sayd , or els that she lyed . To the house be goeth and there he tryed , That she was falce and a noughty queane : In all England not worth a beane . When he hard this he galoped fast , His company he ouer toke at the last . And declared vnto them from poy it to poynt Then all their loue , was sodenly quoynt They light doune all by one accorde Xv. myle when the bad rode And stripped her out of her array Walke hore they all gan say . Home agayne they toke the way . And yet she repayred to Foots Scray . There she abude a certayne season , The next house vnto one master Heron. A Gowne and a Kyrtle there she dyd hyre , Of a poore woman to were to a fayre Kept there besides vpon an holy day : Fayne she wolde haue made her selfe gay , At the foresayd fayre to haue be solde If any man wold be so bolde , Without examynation for to alight . And when that she was out of light , She got her away a great pace . Then came she to Croyden there as she was Continewing for the space of a wook Duryng the which time a poore Cook. There dwellyng she dyd begile , And borowed of him in that while Fiue shillings in Groats and pence . And then priuely she stale away from thence . Then she came to Eltham the right way , Where she rested her three weekes & a day : And dyd nothyng but ay enquere Of Gentlemen dwelling here and there And when she saw her time on an holy day , She walked to a Thorp called Batersay : And on the next day after , she tooke a Whery , And ouer Thames she was rowed ful mery .

The tenth mery Iest , how this Wydow Edyth deceiued three yong men of Chelsay that were seruants to syr Thomas More , and were all thrée suters vnto her for Maryage : and what mischaunce happened vnto her . AT Chelsay was her ariuall , Where she had best cheare of all : In the house of syr Thomas More After that she had tolde of her store And of her hauyour and credence eke , There was nothing for her to seeke That could make her mery other euyn or morow I pray to God now geue her sorow . At Eltham she sayd that she dyd dwell , And of her substance there she gan to tell : Two wolsted Lomes she had by her fay , And two Mills that went night and day : A Beere brewhouse in which euery week once Twenty quarters were brewed al at once , Fowre Plowes she kept , the earth to cultiue , And. xv . great knaues to help her to thriue . Seauen women seruants the wull to spin & carde , And to mylke the kyne abroad in the yarde She recounted her famyly & houssholde so great , That three yong men she cast in a heat Which seruants were in the same place , And all they woed her a good pace . By meanes I tel you and by brocage , They sware they wolde be all her owne page : One of them had to name Thomas Croxton , And seruant he was to master Alengton A man I tell you in whom dame nature , Had don her part as in stature : He was mighty chyned , with boanes stronge , Shoulders broade , and armes longe . Uery actiue and apt to euery thyng , Able to serue any Prynce or Kyng , As for his person and conditions withall But there is a poynt least that for parciall I should be holden : because he is my frend Wherfore of his prayse here I make an end : And somwhat I will tel of his woyng . To his master & mistris , he was gretly beholdig For busy sute they made night and day , In his cause if I shall the sooth say : And he him selfe was full seruiseable , To this wydow at dinner and at the table : And eke at supper he stoode ay at her back , So neare that and if she had let a crack . Neuer so styll he must haue had knowledge , But all is honycombe he was in such dotage Whertu a little while , I let him dwell , And of the seconde woer I shall you tell . Which had to name Thomas Arthur , And seruant he was to master Roper . A proper man neither to hye nor to low , But Dame nature sothely as I trow : Referred his gift vnto Dame grace , Desiring her to consider the case Concerning this man , and that she wolde I●de to him with verteous maners manifolde And no doubt she was therin nothing slacke Peace no more he standeth at my backe . And yf he here me praise him , he wil wene I flatter . Therfore I wyl resort to former matter . And tel of his woyng partly as it was , And what spe 〈…〉 olke he had by gods grace . His owne Master and Mistris also , With other beside , I cannot tel who . That laboured for him incessantly And his owne selfe I tel you truly : Was not necligent ne lost no time , But gaue attendaunce from morning to prime , And the after none with part of the night , In her chamber the candels he did light : And tymbred her fyres in the chymney , And can ye finde in your hart he wold say , To loue me swete hart best of all ? Yes quod she , but I wyll not tell you all , What my hart thinketh as now , But Thomas against to morow I pray you That you wyll get you leaue to ryde with me , As far as Braynford and there ye shall se Some money receyued els it is yll , But I wold we had one that this cup wold fil , With Malmesey that we might drink to bed ward Whip quod Thomas and got him down ward And commeth agayne with the cup full , Drink Wydow quod he a good pull And when ye see your time get you to rest He haue you in his keping that may keepe you best , Adew quod she , and farewell till to morow , Here is good Malmesey els god geue me sorow . On the next day Thomas rode with this wydow , As far as Braynford and I shall tel you how : And what chere they made by that way as they rod Thomas right well his horse bestrode A full fayre styrrop out at the long . His horse was a beast goodly and strong : And beare them both easely away , And styll wolde stand while Thomas did say Let me kis you darling , turne your face hether Be it quod she , ere that we wend farther : And thus the passe the time as they ride To Braynford where they did not long abyde : For shortly to Thomas she gan then tell , Her debtour was gon to Kingston to dwel . Thomas began for to muse of the matter , And there then priuely he dyd inquere : Of the goodman of the house wher his horse stoode Which knew her right well & sware by the roode She lied in euery thing that she dyd say , Then quod Thomas to him selfe a syrra , a syrra . Is this the matter in very deede ? Home ward he caryed her with good speede , To Chelsay againe where she was vsed As she was before and holden excused : Thomas kept al this within his owne brest Because his felows should not at him iest . And in her chamber the next night folowing There was the reuell and the gossupping The generall bumming as Marget Giggs sayde Euery body laughed , and was well apayde : Two of her woers being there present . Thomas Arthur when he saw his time went And sate him downe in a chayre solemply And sayd nothing but now and then an eye : He cast at his loue , as she stoode at the Cubord , When she perceiued she spake nere a word . But stept vnto him and kissed him sweet , Saying how is it with you , I pray you let me weet . Thomas answered on this world I think Cut a straw quod she , take the cup and drink . Therwith she imbraced him be mery sweet hart She turned her arse in his lap , & let a great fart , And I loued you not ( qd she ) I wold not geue you this Ha ha quod Tomas , ye be a mery one twis They laughed on a row that som of them shoke , The Wydow desired the court to be broke And ech wight to his bed to repayre . The morow was Sunday and the wether fayr . This Wydow determined her selfe to walk , As far as Haly well , for she hard men talke : That there should be a sister that day professed , And to offer with her she was disposed : Desiring the yong Nunne with her sisters all , To pray for her to the hie God immortall That it shal please him of his aboundant grace , In the end of this world , that away from his face : She ne should be seperate in any wise , To Holy well she walked and once or twise She drank or she came there , for the way was long The Nuns in the quyre had begon their song : In the hye masse & Bels gyn to ryng , When the wydow approched to make her offering After the Gospel her purse she toke in hand : And serched therin , but nothin she fand . A syde she cast her eye and anon was ware , Of Thomas Croxton at Chelsay her first woer , To whom she sayd I pray you lend me fast , Some white mony that I might offer in hast , Or els chaunge me a noble quod she anon Thomas Croxton looked her vpon And sayd sweet hart ye shal chaunge no Golde At this time : I haue money inough , holde . How much wyll steede you , say on , let s see . Xii . pence I pray you , delyuer vnto me , Quod she than , and see it be in Grotes , For I wyll offer . xl . pence , because of reportes , And I might once get home , I wold not care for money When she had offered the sooth to say , She romed in the Cloyster too and fro , Tyll a yong man saw where she dyd go , And water Smyth was this yongmans name , One of her wowers , and I might tell for shame , A , thought Water , now here is good place , To speake of my matter , and to shew the case Now it standeth with mee , and also to be playne . Softly he walketh this wydow agayne And fyrst hayled her as him thought meete , Then toke her in his armes and kissed her swete She knew him wel inough for he was one of them three That I told you before dwelt in Chelsay This Water his tale gan for to tell Wydow quod he take keepe and mark well , What I shal to you say without dissimulation : I can no lenger mew mine hartely affection . Ne inclose the secrets of my trew minde , But to you I must breke trustyng ye wil be kinde Syrcūstance voydyng because I cannot suiurne Long with you at this time , but I must returne From whence I come , therfore to you anon Among all your suters I pretend to be one . Now Wydow looke well vpon me quod he , And yf you can finde in your hart to loue me : As wel sweet darlyng as I loue you , Than I trust there shal be such seeds isow Betwyxt vs both that it shal be principally To Gods pleasaunce and to our comfort secondly Then the Wydow answered with a smiling chere And sayd goodman Water I pray you tel me here Whether ye meane good sadnes or els that ye iest , I thinke as I speake so god my soule rest . Quod Water therfore shew vnto me That I shal be excepted , or els that I am not he I am a yong woer and dare not speake for shame But yet to loue vnloued ye know it is no game , Troth ye say quod she , I affyrme the same And if I loue you not again in faith I am to blame When I come next to Chelsay ye shal wel find That afore all other I beare you my good mynd A Crucifyx quod she of the pure Golde Which many a day hath remayned in my holde , Ye shal haue it for a token and a remembrance . Than water stode on tipto & gan him self avance I thank you quod he euen with all my hart , He kissed her deliciously , and then dyd depart . To Chelsay againe , she came the same night , But than the world was changd al was cum to light Her substance was knowne & her selfe also , For Thomas Arthur that day had ridden to & fro : And tried her not worth the sleue lace of a gowne In all England in Cittie nor yet in towne : Than well away her dyet was chaunged Her potage & eke her ale were well poudred With an holsome influence that surgeons call , Pouder Sinipari that wil make on cast his gall : It made her stomake vnable to broke any meate Now was she cold and forthwith in an heate . Her pulses beate , and her collour went and come No morsell dyd she eate but now and then hum , S●e was greatly 〈…〉 o , & lat out of frame All that 〈◊〉 at Supper had good game 〈◊〉 to b●hold , and they laught all aboute . Quod she , for Goddes loue let me come out Let me come let me come , for our Ladies sake , My beir rumblytn , and my hart doth ake In such wise , that I know I am but dead , If I haue non ayre : ah good Lord my head . But she was ay kept in , that she could not start Tyll my Lady gan to haue pytte in her hart , And for womans honestie , bad that she shuld ryse But ere that tyme , I am sure twyse or thryse , It knockyd at the Doore to haue issued out , But with great payne , she made it walke about . When that she was vp , she got her foorth apace And er she had walkt . xxx . fote , she marked a chase And eftsones another , thrugh the Hal as she yede Her nose burst out also and gan for to bleede . Into the colehouse she goth , & there made a draght Held her ay theron , tyll she had layde her laght . And when she was of her nest , one that hight Browne Cam ron̄yng in his Dublet without cote or Gowne Saying Madame , Madame , by the mans bones I feare me , least there be fyre among your coles , Howbeit , I saw no lyght , but a stynkyng smoke : O bont Deus quod my lady , get thee fast & look God sheld and out lady , that any recheles wight Bare thyder any Candel , this present night : Go loke , go loke quod she in haste get thee hence , Browne went him furth , & by the sufflemence , He tryed that there was no materyall fyre , He laughed & sware by the soule of his Syre That one word more he could not speake for shame Good night quod he , at the best is this game : Soone after the wydow came forth wel eased , That Cony , that cony quod she , was not wel rosted : That I eat at Haly well , but I haue made auoydance The deuill go with all , & a vengeaunce , I shal mend now I trust : & then she went to bed : Her lodging was changed there , that rested her hed But she was in more honour , than euer she was afore Not withstanding her gown & kyrtle of her gore Was taken away and restored to the owner . The massiff chaynes day & night she did were And wher gret Estats were chaynes about theyr necks She had disayne to were then on her legs But whether she he content or displeased , For the space of three weeks the chaynes she wered And after in a day at a gayle deliuery , She was discharged being glad and mery .

The. xi . mery Iest , how this wydow Edyth : deceyued three yongmen if the Lorde Legates seruants with her great lying crakyng and boastyng of her great treasure and Iuelies . TO Westminster , she walked after as I trow , And in the house with the pie in the wyndow : She was lodged , but there was no place , Long for to tary considering her case . Gon was her money wel neare all She had full sodenly a great fall As ye haue hard before , but yet nothyng dismaid On a day to her selfe thus she sayd : What should I here dwell and no peny in purse If I tarry any lenger I pray that gods curse Lyght vpon me euen by and by . Then away she got her and that hastely And ere she had walked a forlong way or two She had bethought her where for to go Heauen kyng quod she full of grace Why remembred not I my Lord Legats place By God I must haue there , yet some good cheare Alone wyll I go without any feare And fuist into the porters lodge full right And there demaund for such a knight : That I know well is not there now . I shal report in what maner and how My landes be kept from me by strength , Such a tale I wyll tell at length , That some man wyll geue an eare I trow And desire me further for to know . To the Porters lodge she goeth a great pase , And as she had deuised , opened the case . The Porter asked , why she went so bare ? In sooth quod she , I take no great care , How that I go , whyle my busynes last , I trust it shal be mended now in haste . Than , in came a yoman that was called Shyre And stood vpright , and warmed hym by the fyre , Geuyng an eare alway now and than , And at the last , he stept foorth lyke a man Saying fayre mistresse , what is your sute ? If ye think it best : come tell me without And for the good mind I beare to all wydowes I promise you ere you go out of this house Ye shal haue friends and that without money , Wherfore take ye no thought but be ay mery . And while they were commonyng of this warke A Yeman approched that was called Iohn Clarke : And he demaunded what the matter was ? Gentle man quod she , thus standeth the case , I am a poore wydow left all alone And hether I am come to make my mone . Great wrong I haue , as God well knoweth For in all this world I ne oweth Pound nor Noble that ought to be payd , But of ten times so much I am delayd . I pray to God once to send me an hed That I may sleep at home in my bed : For I am wery of this renning about , And yet alway I stande in great doubt Least that the bigger wyll eate the Been , Gentylmen quod she , ye wot what I meane ? Therfore help me for your mothers blessyng And ye shal haue golde & golde good sterlyng : Further she saw comming to her ward , The thyrd Yeman called Thomas Apricharde Which anon demanded what that matter ment Iohn Clarke quickly by the hand him hent : Led him apart , and tolde in his eare , Seest thou quod he , this homely gere ? By gods sids she is a wydow & that of gret substance And mary she would , I know by her daliance Peace quod Thomas , haue her to the wyne , And let vs drawe cuttes , eyther thyne or myne , So be it , sayd Clark and let vs no more talk Misteris sayd he , wil it please you to walk In to the towne ? and drink a pynt of wine And doubt ye not ye shall do wel and fine : For and if that ye pretend title of right , Ye shal haue them that in your quarell wil fight And nede be : but it shal not come therto . Gentlemen quod she , I am pleased to go , With you at this time trusting of your ayde And one of you three , I shal make wel apayde Who so euer he be and God before . Master Clark tell me where ye were bore , And yf ye wyl be a good husband so god me spede And folow my counsell , ye shal haue no neede : To none of your kyn , but ye shal be able To lend vnto him , Hall , Chamber and stable , As he shal be able to lend vnto you . God thank you sayd Clark , but here is the house now Wherin we wyl drink & make good chere . Hostes quod he , fetch vs bread , ale and beere And eke wine and that of the best , Said Thomas Aprichard , for so god my soule rest This night I am disposed to laugh it euen out Be mery wydow and nothing doubt . For he dwelleth not vnder our kings obeysance , Shal do you wrong in England nor in Fraunce . But all Thomas words little she did regard , Her eye was euer to Iohn Clark ward To whom she sayd the selfe saine tide , Master Clark quod she , wyll ye to morow ride ? As far as Barking , ye shal haue horse of me , And eke a noble in your purse so mot I thee And there nothing els shal ye do But se my folks and cattels also : And then returne when ye shal se it good . Quod Iohn Clarke I shal by the rood : But where standeth your horse , let me that know , He is not far hence as I trow Quod she : I shal tel you in the morning , Well then let vs drink in the euening : Quod Iohn Clark , for here is good drink indeede And good meat also , I pray you widow feede . The time they pas merely til ten of the clok Yea , and I shal not lye , till after the first coke Then they departed and to their beds went , Thomas aprichard payd for all that was spent , Iohn Clark in the morning made him yare , Thought he : now I wyll yander away fare I lyke this gere euen very well . He inquereth for the wydow , but no man can tel Where she is become , with walk queane walk Ihon Clark then fell into other talk And let her go the feend be her gyde , But here now I can not long abyde . Considering her pastime in euery place , For if I shuld leaue off , it shuld deface In a maner her booke , which were greae pitie And ruth also , I swere by Saint Dauye Wherfore somewhat further of her I wyl wryte , And without addition truely to indyte . ¶ FINIS ▪

The , xii . mery Iest , how this wydow Edyth deceyued the goodman of the thrée Cuppes in Holburne , and one Iohn Cotes that tyd will , her to Saint Albons to euer see her lands and tenements , and how they were rewarded . FRom Westminster to Holburne she flew at one flight And at the signe of the three cups she did alight Trustyng there to season on her pray For she had eaten no meat of all that day . Fyrst she asked for the goodman of the Inne , And as soone as she saw him , anon she did begin . To tell him a tale and neuer a true worde , Host quod she , might I be with you at borde For the space of eyght , or els nine dayes And ye shal finde me honest at all assayes Ful well I shall pay for all that I take , O blessed Lady so mine head doth ake , I haue ron so fast that my winde is neare gone : Mayd I pray you step to the dore anone And looke yf ye may se fowr tall men : With swords & buklers as fast as they may ren They haue chased me all this long day , And wyll not be answered for ought that I can say , I see well that she is best at ease , That hath little or nought in this world to lese All my trouble I may wyt a little substance Which is my owne , it procureth me greuance But my Hoste quod she , help me now , I shall tell you in what maner and how . The case standeth , and remedy is none , But and if I be taken I must needes begon : What betwixt the kings seruants & my lord Legats I am so asayled that I wot not whither to go Diuers wold haue me but I am determined this also Neuer to be coupled to a Courtier iwis . While that I liue , and god be my good Lorde Her hoste desired her to sit downe at the borde Ye shal quod he , haue the best help that I can And for your sake : I wold I were a single man . Therwith he twinkled and loked ful narrow And kissed her twife & chirked like a Sparow . In sooth sayd she if there were an honest man ? Wise and toward I may say to you now I could finde in my hart to make him a man , And if euer I marry he shal be such a one As to loke for great goods I wyll not in soth For I haue inow for him and me both . And if that he be not to great a waster ? But I wyl none that shal be called master . These Roysters of the court no poynt towchon My nebors when they com to make their mone Desiring of reformation of things misused Shal not stand caples i to him that is vsed To lyg by my side , and to kis me in the night . Nay , nay : I wil none such by god almight . But hoste quod she , against the next saterday I pray you prouide me and if that ye may Whatsoeuer they cost two men and two hors For I must ride to S. Albons in maner perforce . I haue ben long thence the worse huswife am I But I trust I haue them there that wil loke & espy . If any fault be : and se it amended , Mine houses there be metely wel defended I meane this , they stand in good reperation And my house at the crosse keyes is lyke the facion Of your house here , but that it is much bigger God haue mercy on the soule of my good father , He had great pleasure there to lye . And is the crosse keyes yours , say ye truely ? Quod her host : mary there is a fayre lodging And a goodly backside ther vnto belonging . Yea quod she , I haue ther housing & also ground In the towne & nere by , worth . v. hundred pound . And if it should be solde to the valew . And in Barnet the Inne repayred new With the signe of the Lyon is mine own right My father bought it of a good Knight God remit their trespas both twayne , But I pray Christ graunt we haue no rayne Against we ryde : for the way wyl be foule . Her host answerd and sware by his soule , I shal man you quod he , and against that tyde Eke puruey an other that gladly will ryde : Wayting vpon you and if that nede bee , He shal stand in a mans stede so mot I thee . Also you shal haue to your handmayd , Mine owne deare doughter , as my wife sayd : Ride when please you al things shal be redy I lack no more but a payre of Bootes truely . Mine host quod she care ye not for that Take ye payne tyl ye come to Barnat , And there ye shal haue choyce of twelue payre Which I distrained for mine house there . A tenauntry I haue there in which did dwell . A Sowter that made Boots for to sell : And shoes also full good and strong , I may say to you he dwelled there so long Tyll his haire gan to grow throw his hoode , Ind than when the falce knaue vnderstoode That I was at Otford away in kent , Besy there prouing my husbands testament He wolde haue stolne away by night , But yet his purpose came to light . It hapned so that a tenaunt of mine , Was late in the euening milking of kine . And saw mine horeson when he busked him foreward With such trash as he had , & then hōward She her hied as fast as she may , And told her husband to morow or day Twyfeld wyl fleet and the rent is vnpayd : Go & distrayne him , in hast she sayd : In my masters name : and so he dyd indede Boots and Shoes I haue inow so God me spede And other trumpery , I cannot tel what But I wyl se when I com to Barnat . Host quod she , I pray you let vs wel be horsed For I haue ben many times trobled : By the way as I haue ridden for lack of hors , Her host answered geue ye no force Ye shal haue such that shal beare ye thorow Wel then quod she , al is good inow , At S. Albons I haue horse of mine owne . The goodman than walked into the towne And prouided her a seruant that was called Iohn Cotes , a man that neuer fayled : His mayster , nor maystresse in tyme of neede . On the day appointed , they ryde forth with speed . And at their departyng , this wydow borowed Upon her Hostesse , which she hartely desired A Cap : an Hat , and three kerchieues therto A cople of syluer pinnes , a payr of Hokes & no mo A pace they ryde , tyll they come to Whetston , And there gan to speake to them anon , My friendes quod she , take keepe what I say , I haue be thought me , rydyng by the way That it is not best for vs this day , To ryde through Barnet , & I shal tel you why ? One knaue or other wyll vs there espy , I know that I am wayted for in the towne : Wherfore by myne aduise , let vs light downe , And bayt here , and rest a lytell whyle , And then ye shall see vs them all begyle . For when that we come to Barnet townes ende , We shall there then spyte of the feende Ride in the Lane , on the backside . I know the way , we shall neede no guyde : And at the wyndmyl we shal come in our way agayne And than furthryght fayre and playne Tyll that we come to Hatfeld Parkepale : And there I haue a Tenant that selleth Ale , And a farme besides which yelds me by the yere Thirteene pound : and when I come good chere : Mine horse meat & mans meat , & cost me nought Mine husband when he died , for that Farme ought Fortie Markes : but I thanke God now My Farmer may go both to Cart and Plow , At his owne pleasure , and no man him warne , wel then sayd Cates , besyde this barne , Let vs now lyght and walk to our Inne This Mayde here wal fyrst beginne : Lepe downe quod he , & let me help your Misteris Nay sayd the wydow I wil none of your seruice At this tyme : I shal descend without assistance The place wher they baited was not far thence To the which they romed & made good chere And when they had payd for bread ale & beere And for other things . I cannot tell what , The wydow departed from the place there she sate , And called for horse : let vs ryde now quod she . I am well contented so mote I thee Sayd her host and Cotes agreed therto , But hostes quod she , or euer that we go Whan we be on horsback fyl a pint with Malmsay , And syrs betwene you , looke that ye wel pay : For euery thing , and that with the most , I haue done sayd Cotes , whatsoeuer it cost She is allowed after her owne price . To horsback than , they yede at a trice , And ridden forth tyl they came to Barnat . Now friends quod she , I wyl algate Leaue the towne as I told you before . Cotes answered and a great oth swore , That he wold not ride out of his way , Care ye not quod he , what folks say And if that ye be knowne : what for that , Put on your head this hood and your hat . And eke this cloke about you , & if you doubt ▪ Than and they gawren round about Ye shal not be knowne of any maner wight I pray you let vs ride for it draweth vnto night . Tut quod she ye be a mery man , Trow ye that my owne folk ne can Know me : and if I be disgused Yes I warant you ye shal heare it cryed : If we ride through the towne , for I shal tell thee Cotes I haue them in my Inne and they se but my fote They wil know me , and what remedy then I know you wyll defend me lyke prety men , Unto your power : but what is one or tway In comparison to sixe , if they mete in the way ? But seing ye wyll ieopard it geue me my cloke Ride forth a pace and not once a side loke . When we com agaist the Lyon but hang down your heads And geue me in my hands your beades I wyll occupy both my hart and eke my minde The better assystance , I trust we shal finde . Ye but quod her host , how shal I do for my boots I pray you that eyther I or els Cotes May ride for them , and gallop after in hast I say quod she , tyll we be this towne past We wyl not tarry for ought that may fall Worce arayed then you are , ye cannot be at all At S. Albons we shal amend al fawtes , And I trust arme vs for al assautes . Wel then let vs ride in Christes holy name Yf ye think it best : for I am yet the same Man that I was yerst for al the myre , They rode through the towne lyke as wylde fyre , Mad be● new put in euery horse tayle . And when that they came to the wyndmyl with the sayle There Cotes gan for to speake anon , What way quod he , shal we ride vpon . Misteris where is your Farme the ye told of before Alas sayd she that euer I was bore : It maketh me sick to think on the foule way That we must pas throw , what shuld I more say A lane there is betwene vs and that The Porter of hel I dare say with his hat Cannot escape but he must ligge in the myre , But we wyl doe well . I wot what is our hyre . To Hatfeld we shal ride this same night , And to morow when we haue the day light We shal yede to S. Albons by than it is noone And my besynes there , wil not be don soone . It wyll cost vs two or three dayes wark . But syrs quod she , is none of you a clark ? I must haue a quytance made for my rent To a knaue which me sore repent : That euer he occupyed any ground of mine , I am sure be hath of Oxen and kyne An hundred heds : and much stuffe besyde And the arrand knauee when I com he wil him hyde Makyng him as bare as a byrds tayle , And when I speake with hym he wyl not fayle To tel me a tale hinching and pinching . And in faith Mosteris I haue no good thing . To make you there : but it doth me good to se you . But if I could tell in what wise and how To auoyd the heynard , he should not long abyde . Well sayd Cotes what so euer betyde , This same present night I wyll ryde To S. Albons : I lyke not this tittell tattel . Why quod she , and ye think your horse be able To beare you through , than do as ye lyst But I pray you that you bring me first : To Hatfelde , and than ye shal haue a token To my seruant that dwelleth in my Inne , With the crosse keyes in S. Albones towne : And tomorow in the morning , vp and downe Ye may se mine house , and my easment there , And afterwards trusse together al my gere You shal haue in the parlour next to the strete A Cofer standyng at my beds feete : In which Cofer all my money is , Tree Hundred Marks , I haue therein i wys In sixe bags , but loke that ye beare But two of the lest with you , for I haue certain geare In the tother so wer , which shal not as yet , Be seene of any body : I let you wyt : Ye may say that I trust ye , to let you com so nere Shew Thomas Edwards my seruant there Where I am and that I sent you thither , Commandyng him for is delyuer . My keyes to you : by such a token The which keyes were made to open The new chest at mine owne beds feete And eke my Whuch that is fast i shyt : Wherein remayneth all my plate Trusse it surely : and yet beside al that I pray ye that ye wyll take so much payne At that ye se no lyhelyhood of rayne As to bring with you vnto this towne , A Kyrtle of chamblet and my tawny Gowne : They ly on the presse in my owne chamber , My purse also , with my Beades of amber . Take these things I pray you , as fast as ye may , Make a fardle therof and send them a way , By Thomas Edwards to the Lyon in Barnet , And when ye haue thus don , remember this yet . Take two fresh Geldings out of my stable , And leaue yours there , till they be better able To iornay on the way : Syrs say I not well ? Yes sayd Cotes , if it be as you tell ? At the Checker in Hatfelde , she toke her lodgeing When it was ful late in the euening . There her Host and Cotes departed her fro And also as fast , as their horses can go They ryde tyl they come to S. Albons towne And there demaunded vp and downe For the crosse keyes and found it at last : Thomas Edwards there they asked for in hast And than was none such in all the throwfare That hore quod Cotes euyll mote she fare Hath begiled vs , and what remedy now . His felow answered I shal tel thee how Peraduenture ther ar more crosse keyes then one Aske ye som body , and ye shal know anone . The hostler told them that there was yet an other I thank you sayd Cotes my owne good brother . There they demaunded as they dyd before The good man asked where they were bore : And what they wolde haue , that time of night ? Quod Cotes to his felow let vs downe light This is the house I wot well inow , A master Edwards , I pray you tel vs how That ye liue here in your mistris absence Masters quod he : Syrs get you fast hence . By myne ayde as I entend well , Therwith she went and on her knees fell . Than her host asked what she wolde geue . On that condition she might haue leue To walk at her wyll whether she wolde . Three Grots quod she in fayre peace itolde And that is all that euer I haue , At this tyme vpon me so god me saue . The money he receyued , and then bad her goe Whether she wold : but doe no more soe . At three of the clocke in the dark mornyng Away she yed before the dawning . And where she become then that tyde , I cannot tell you in al this world so wyde ▪ But fare well frost syth that she be gon . Cotes and his felow in the morning whan They were vp rysen , and kempt their heaire For the wydow they asked : & than was there No body could tel whither she was yede , Their host they demanded : and he sayd by crede He wyst not where she was let her go Quod he then : it is well ye skaped so . One loked on an other , & wist not what to say . And in conclusion euen the right way To London they tooke in all the haste , They wolde not once tarry to breake their faste : And of this prosses I make an ende . God saue the wydow , where euer she wende . ¶ FINIS . by Walter Smith .

Notes, typically marginal, from the original text

Notes for div iamw-e10420

¶ Imprinted at London , in Fleetlane : by Richarde Iohnes .