DION (a) (a) This Dion , sirnamed Golden tongue , was both a Rhetorician , and a Philosopher : his wonted fashion was to go abroad with a Lions skin ouer him , to the ende that he might be the more reuerenced among men . In processe of time he became so familiar with Traian Caesar the Emperour , that he rode in the chariot of royaltie with the Emperour as his companion . with the Golden tongue , wrote a Booke in the praise and commendation of frisled and shocked haire , a Booke so wel stored with plentie of good matter & gaie words , that euerie balde pate must néedes be ashamed of him selfe , in consideration of the worthinesse of that mans worke . For whie , his whole discourse agréed with Nature : because all and euerie one of vs , euen by the inclination and drawing on of Nature , couet to be faire , handsome , and well fauoured : to the atteining wherof , haire wel growen , is no slender helpe , which euen Nature her selfe hath appointed to spring and increase with vs , as we our selues rise in age . When this ornament of haire decaieth and falleth away , it striketh sore torments into the heart . Héerevpon I thought , that my lucke was to suffer farre more gréeuous inconueniences , than the Atheniens did at the hands of Archidamus , in the cutting downe of the (b) (b) Among all other discommodities , which Archidamas did to the Atheniens , it appeareth that he hewed downe their goodly woods and groues , least by them they might any way be succoured . trées of Acarnania . Presently vpon that conceit , I fell in opinion , that I was one of the vnséemelie Euboeans , of whom Homer reporteth , that being balde before , and hairie behinde , they marched vnto Troie . Thus doubtfull of minde , and at defiance with destinie , as a fauourer of (c) (c) This Epicurus denied Gods prouidence , affirming that the worlde was not gouerned there by , &c. Epicurus , I saide : What place is there left vnto diuine prouidence , séeing that all things fall out and happen to all men otherwise than they deserue , considering that their worthinesse would be well rewarded ? And what offence haue I committed , that I should become so vnsauourie and vnswéete a morsell vnto women kinde ? If I were onely contemned and set light by of such women , as are neighbours and borderers hereaboutes , I should be neuer a whit gréeued , considering that I kéepe my concupiscences in such subiection , and my ranging lustes in such bondage , that I dare , for continencie & honestie , make challenge euen to (d) (d) Antëa the wife of king Praetus , laie sore at Bellerophon , and vsed all alluring meanes , that she might , to haue carnall knowledge with him : but he hauing regard to his owne honestie , & to the kings honor , with stoode her incontinencie by his chastitie . Bellerophon . But my mother which bare me , and my sisters which sucked of the same milke , what say they ? Their wordes are these , that beautie and well fauourednesse standeth much vpon the haire . This is confirmed by the doing of Quéene Parysatis , who restrained her kindnesse and loue from king Artaxerxes , when shée sawe before her the amiable personage of Cyrus . But whiles I mused vpon this mischiefe , I began to take stomach , and put reason in armes against my fighting affection , which giuing place by litle & litle , as vnable to encounter , I became well appeased . For against two , no not Hercules himself had strength sufficient , who when he was violently set vpon of (e) (e) These were the sonnes of Neptunus and Moliona , whom Hercules ouerthrew in a combate at Olympus , a hill in Thessalia . Cteaton , and Eurytus , by priuie assaults wanted abilitie and force to withstand them : and had not Iolaus assisted him against Hydra , a fowle water Serpent , aided with the sea Crabbe , Hercules had not escaped death . As for me , in so much as I haue not (f) (f) This Iolaus was Hercules nephue , by whose helpe the heads of Hydra were cut off , & consumed in fire . Iolaus to take my part , I am commanded to giue ouer all vnto Dion . But yet , when I enter league with reason , and deliberate with my selfe in this manner : O! of al bald pates thou art the most excellent , & worthiest to weare the golden spurres : thou art valiant and victorious in déede , which makest no account of calamities , but at great banquets and solemne feastes , when baldnesse is called in question , and demaundes made concerning high forheads , steppest out & shewest thy selfe to the companie , as dooing thy diligence to maintaine an honest séemelinesse : I forbare Dion in his foolishe fansie , and in (g) (g) A citie in Greece , where such as should trie masteries at Olympus , were admitted . Pisa ( as the Prouerbe is ) I prepared my selfe for this present purpose . And as (h) (h) Vlysses , notwithstanding that he felt in himselfe a disposition to wrath and vengeaunce , brideled him selfe with patience , saieng to him selfe : 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , &c. Heart hold out , for thou hast endured farre greater greefes than this , &c. Homer Odyss . 20. Vlysses continued constant and patient , not storming at the wantonnesse and lasciuiousnesse of his maidens , nor violently rushing vpon them , as gréedie of reuengement , notwithstanding they were merrie and pleasant with their Paramours : euen so will I behaue my selfe towardes Dion , and all his affections . To the intent therefore that I may not forget his long and gallant spéeche , which is continually before mine eies , I will rehearse part therof , and so procéede .

When I was risen vp earely in the morning , and ( after my common manner ) had made my praiers to the gods , the next thing that I had to do , was to bestow some time and trauel in trimming of my haire . For , in the yeares of my minoritie , being vnder age , and but weake of bodie , I was not so wise as to haue regard vnto it , but let it growe disordered and intangled , like wooll vpon weathers backes : yea more fowle and filthie , than it is now fine and frisled . It appeared therefore wilde and rough to the eie , and could not be sundered in locks , nor parted for comlines , without tearing & renting from the scalp . Moued herevpon , I vndertooke to disperse the praise and commendation of such , as were delicate and nice about wearing of their haire , whereof , whosoeuer be not carefull , in kéeping it in suche sort , I can terme them no better than dolts & dissards .

He procéedeth to enter discourse of womanlike gallants , such as carrie in their bushie haire (i) (i) It should seeme that their haire was meruellously curled , that it could kepe the bodkin fast whersoeuer it did sticke . an Iuorie bodkine , that when leasure and time serued , they might busie themselues in trimming the same : and of such also , as sléeping vpon the ground , bolster vp their heades in such sort , as they may at no hande touch the earth , hauing greater regard to the neatnesse of their haire , than to the swéetenesse of their sléepe . For sléepe maketh men clubbish and carelesse , but haire maketh them amiable and terrible . The (k) (k) It is a custome among the Lacedaemonians , in aduentures of life and death to combe and trimme their haire . Lacedaemonians ( as it should séeme ) were not negligent in this behalfe , of whome but poore thrée hundred being assembled in armes , and looking for the comming of king Darius to a fearce and furious conflict , set them selues a worke in the meane time about their haire , trimming and making the same handsome . Homer in this case vseth no small diligence and commendation , so often as he nameth the (l) (l) Homer calleth them 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , Blacke eied Graecians . Graecians . For he doeth not so often praise the eies , as though the beautie and well fauourednes of Gallants consisted therein , as he doeth the haire . And though he commendeth Agamemnon for his black eies : yet notwithstanding he imparteth the same praise indifferently to other Graecians as well as him . But he commendeth Agamemnon by name for his hairie lockes , euen as he doeth all other noble Gentlemen for the same propertie specially . He praiseth Achilles for his yellowe lockes , Menelaus for his Orenge coloured haire , & Hector for his bright graie bush . Againe , what doeth he most commend : naie , what other thing doeth he praise in Euphorbus the Troiane , whome Menelaus slue , but onely his haire , vsing this kinde of spéeche for the setting foorth of that necessarie séemelinesse : His ladie locks like to the Nymphes , with bloud seemd rustie red , With gold and siluer knotted vp , to beautifie his hed . The same Poet speaking of Vlysses , whome Pallas made honourable , saieth thus : Of her he did receiue long haire , of iron colour verie faire .

Homer therefore is of opinion , that the ornament of the haire , doeth better beséeme men than women . For , in extolling the Goddesses , and ascribing vnto euerie one of them their particular praise , he medleth not with their haire , but buildeth their commendation vpon other groundes : namelie , the partes and members of their bodie , aiming at their proportion and making . He calleth Uenus , (m) (m) 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . Golden Venus , Iuno , (n) (n) 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . Buleied Iuno , Thetis , (o) (o) 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 . Homer Iliad . ● . Siluerfooted Thetis . And setting out Iupiter in his maiestie , he beginneth with his haire , and calleth it heauenlie , vsing these wordes : (p) (p) Homer in his Iliads . lib. α Th' immortal king God Iupiter , his heauenlie haire did shake , Which made the starrie firmament , to quiuer and to quake . But I hearing this harmonie of Dions tuning , became a Prophet to my selfe , gathering by coniecturall reasons before hande , that it would fare with me , as with (q) (q) The allusion is to one Thrasymachus , who mainteined , more impudently than learnedlie , that iustice is to be counted among euill things , and iniustice among good : which opinion of his , Socrates made him , with shame enough , to recant . Thrasymachus , namely to be put to shame & silence . Howbeit , this passion of minde hath but slender holde , when I trie Dions discourse by the touchstone of truth : whose whole oration consisteth vpon smooth words full of grauitie , but in effect it is nothing , for it wanteth pith and substance . If he had vndertaken to commend baldnesse , as he hath attempted the contrarie , he had ( no doubt ) gotten him selfe greater credite , and purchased more praise . For , if so be that in a trifling thing , he be so well furnished , what shall a man thinke of him , if he had a weightie matter in handling ? For he hauing haire inough to make him comlie , and learning likewise to shewe himself cunning , presumed to speake his minde in the praise of shocked haire . It maie be , he is one of those which carrie about them an instrument of their vanitie , namely a bodkine , therewith at due leasure to trimme their flagging lockes .

Forsomuch therefore as I haue the more excellent cause to defend , notwithstanding my cunning be not counteruaileable vnto Dions , whie should I not make readie my selfe , according to the equitie of my cause , to praise Baldpates , and to dispraise such as are loaden with hairie locks ? And for entrance into my matter , I néede no curious or vehement beginning , which I am content to leaue vnto (r) (r) Whose manner it is to vse some plausible praeamble , or praeface thereby to wind them selues into the admiration of their auditors . Oratours , as properly pertinent to their earnest cases , wherwith they geue strength to their present purpose , arming it ( as it were ) against the aduersarie , as the shippes ( called men of warre ) are prepared against the enimie . Neither will I take vnto me for a president , Musicians or Minstrels , whose manner is in trial of excellencie , either for praise or pension , nimblie to finger , and run ouer to and fro , the strings of their Lute , Citerne , Harpe , or other melodious instrument whatsoeuer : as though there rested not a further proofe of cunning .

Dion thus beginneth . When I was risen vp earlie in the morning , &c. He doth not commend such bushe hairie fellowes , as in déede he ought . It is the point of an Orator , one while to delight his hearers , another while to amaze them , and set them a wondering , which things although (s) (s) This 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , or modestie of minde , when a man doeth not thinke too well of himselfe , is a most commendable vertue . I cannot compasse , as wanting that measure of knowledge ( and yet not vtterlie destitute : ) with that litle which I haue neuerthelesse , I will doe mine endeuour , as one not trained vp , nor practised in the Art of Rhetorike , but as a husbandman , or rude countrie clowne , brought vp at home , and exercised at plough & cart , digging and deluing , grafting and planting , kéeping of cattel . &c , so that with the spade & hedge bill , the pitchforke and plough handle , in sted of penne , inke , and paper , my hands are growne hard , & my fingers worne . For we will not varie from the custome of our countrie . (t) (t) Not that he wanted cunning or knowledge : but note rather herein his humilitie . Neither wil I begin with smooth and delicate words , but according to my countrie fashion , as plaine as a packstaffe : for that doeth like me best . Assisted therfore with the goodnesse of the cause , I wil set foote in féeld , and enter combate : framing my tongue rather to reuenging than reasoning : that is to saie , not vttering my words after the (u) (u) For the Phrygian fashion of sounding their wordes , is more stirring , wherwith Timotheus the musician moued king Alexander oftentimes to make warre : as for the Dorian sounding of wordes , that is more milde ▪ Dorian manner , but after the Phrygian fashion . For the matter which I haue in hand requireth earnestnesse , & must haue a good heart , and a full mouth .

We therefore thus determine and saie : That a balde pate , of all other , hath least cause to be ashamed . For whie , hauing a smooth head , and a thinne : he hath wisedome enoughe both for him selfe & his fréend . Such a one doth Homer report Achilles to be : who tare his haire from his head , as estéeming it naughtes worth , because he was content to part from it him selfe , to bestow it vpon a (x) (x) Howe deuouty Achilles dealt with the dead bodie of Patroclus , cutting off his owne haire , & burning it in the fire , Homer reporteth in the last boke saue one of his Iliads . dead corsse : and to burie it with the bodie of his fréend . For , what is the haire , but a certeine thing voide of life , yea a dead thing , belonging to the partes of the bodie indued with sense and féeling ? Beastes therefore which are farre from vnderstanding and reason , haue all their bodie ouergrowne with haire : but man , for that he is partaker of a more excellent estate of life , appeareth more naked and bare , but lesse hairie . And to the ende he might not kéepe companie with other creatures , his haire groweth not euerie where : but scatteringlie here and there . Wherby it commeth to passe , that howe much the lesse haire any one hath about his bodie : so much the more doeth he excell other , euen as farre as a man is to be preferred before a beast .

And as man of all other liuing creatures is the smoothest , and the wisest : euen so (y) (y) Hereof commeth the common Prouerbe , As simple as a sheepe , when we will note anie one that wanteth wit & discretion , or other wise an innocent . a shéepe of all liuing things , is the foolishest , because there is no part of her bodie without haire . For what haire is to other beastes , that is woll to the shéepe . Herevpon it followeth , that the hauing of haire biddeth battell vnto wisedome and discretion . For they will not be together at any hand . Such dogs as haue smooth eares and bellies , are most fit for the game : but rough curres , which haue more haire than heart , as they are rashe and hastie , so they are soone dashed : it is greater vantage to the huntesman , that such houndes were kept awaie , than appointed for the game , least in medling they marre all .

(z) (z) Plato ( as I take it ) meaneth by these two horses , Reason and Affection , which drawe the mindes of men contrariwaies , euen as they are of force one aboue the other . Reade him in Phaedro suo , touching this matter . Plato speaking of the two horses , which the soule ( as a waineman ) driueth and directeth , calleth that a craftie , a stoute , and a stubberne stallion , which by reason of haire ouergrowing his eares , waxeth dumbe , and hath lost his hearing . Which must néedes be so , as he in processe of time shall become blind , who is full of haire about that part , which preserueth the sight . Nature cannot awaie with this , that vile & contemptible things should be ioyned in fellowship with precious and excellent things . The fiue senses are precious things , and those partes whereby all liuing creatures haue life and féeling , are excellent things : among all which , the sight is the quickest , the liueliest , the most necessarie , and ( you knowe ) the eies haue their smoothnesse and baldnesse . That therefore which in man is of this kinde , deserueth most honour . So it followeth in conclusion , that the verie best things are bald . For we shewed a little before , that man is so much more excellent than anie other creature , by how much he hath the lesse haire .

Séeing therefore man is a liuing soule , and a most excellent creature : I saie that such as by Fortune haue lost their haire , and are become bald , must and ought to haue preferment aboue the rest . Herevpon Diogenes , Socrates , Plato , and a world of wise men , incomparable for knowledge , learning , vtterance and iudgement , are painted with balde pates . Let not (a) (a) This Apollonius let his haire growe about his shoulders in length , & he was such a seducer of men , that among other honours done to him vnmeete for a mortall man , Alexander the Emperour , and sonne of Mammea , worshipped him for a God , placing his image betweene the image of Abraham and Christ , in his closset . Apollonius Tyanaeus with his hairie lockes scoffe at our spéeche , neither let anie other seducer , whatsoeuer he be , contemne our saiengs . For , vnlesse this kind of coggers had not shocked haire , the ignorant multitude could not so lightlie be blinded with their iugglings . The black art or science ( as they terme it ) is no wisedome , but a wilie working of wonders : it is no knowledge , but a certein counterfet shew of cunning . For prudent lawemakers counte wisedome most honourable , and against witches , sorcerers , coniurers , and such like , they maintaine executioners . We saie therfore in trueth , turne it as you list , he that is wise , the verie same is bald : and if he be not bald , surelie he is not wise .

In like manner it falleth out in diuine affaires , that is , in things belonging to the supernall Gods. (b) (b) These festiualles were kept and holden at Athens , when winter wore awaie , and the weather waxed warme . For in celebrating of Bacchus solemnities , they to whom the charge therof was committed , were al ouer growne with haire : but the yonger Satires , who had about their heads , garlands of Pine trée leaues , were most reuelling & outragious . Now , in such a hurlie burlie as it were of dronkards and Bedlems , bald (c) (c) This Silenus , being an ancient Satire , was tutor and guide to Bacchus , and was ring leader to all the rest of the Satires . Silenus bare principall rule : which was done , not without the great care of Iupiter : that a Baldpate , endued with wisdome and sobernesse , should be fosterfather vnto Bacchus , least through his naturall inclination to wine bibbing , he become madde , and so falling into an extremitie of lunacie , outface his father Iupiter , and denie him all dutifull obedience .

Socrates , among all other good properties , being possessed with the spirit of modestie , and maruellous sparing to spread his owne praise : reioyced notwithstanding , and boasted of himselfe , that he was like to balde (d) (d) To whose images , Alcibiades compared Socrates , for that as the grauers of them cut them cunningly , in out ward shew homelie : but inwardli , their cases , wherein they were kept , being opened , they semed diuine and heauenly : euen so Socrates outwardly appearing but a simple man , inwardly notwithstanding , was another manner of fellowe than he was taken to be . Silenus . For the head is the castell of knowledge , and wisedome . This comparison is not perceiueable to the vnskilful . Bushie haire is a beautie vnto youth , in whome wisedome is not yet growne to her flowre : but when age is come vpon vs , which bréedeth in vs vnderstanding and experience : what meane we ( olde doting fooles ) to be proud of our hairie lockes ? If an old fellowe be curious & delicate in trimming of his haire : surelie he is brainesicke .

The case therefore standeth thus , that haire and witte will not drawe vnder one yoke : but are like affected one to another , as light and darkenesse , whereof the ones departure , is the cause of the others succession : that is , the one must néedes be absent , or else the other cannot be present . Will you haue the cause of this contrarietie laide open before your eies ? Of all things , haire , as it is simplie the basest , & of least account : so is it most subiect vnto change and alteration . In vnperfect creatures it doeth ouercome , and beare a certein swaie : but in perfect and excellent bodies , it hath no such force , but falleth off and consumeth awaie . Doe but call to your consideration the trées of the earth , whose ende is to yéelde and bring foorth fruite . In the Spring time what gaie shewes doe they make , what variable colours doe they beare in their blossomes , with what beautifull brauenesse are they garnished ? They haue their blossoms , their buds , their leaues , &c. all which ( when the fruite commeth to ripenesse , whereof those are but certeine foretokens ) waxe drie , wither awaie , and turne to nothing . For that which is perfect in it selfe , néedeth no beautifieng : and a thing is then said to be perfect , when there is to be séene in it , the appearance of another séede .

Moreouer , (e) (e) A citie in Greece , the people wherof , in celebrating the festiuals of Ceres , called Anacalypteria , which are kept at such time as the frutes of the earth appeare in their ripenesse , are bald & bare-headed . Eleusis doeth celebrate the solemnities of Ceres , called Anacalypteria . Againe , the minde of man , forsomuch as it is the most excellent of all séedes , which descend from aboue , and hath his mansion or dwelling house in the head , the fruite whereof is substantiall vnderstanding , it comforteth and reuiueth the head to haue faire haire , which is ( as a man would saie ) but buddes and blossomes . And as before the fall of the leafe , the fruite is not come to full perfection : no more is vnderstanding setled in the head , vntill suche time as all superfluities are fanned awaie . When therefore you see a baldpate , suppose streight way that the fruite there hath attained perfect ripenesse , and made the head a garner to preserue it : yea , you maie boldlie gesse , that such a head is the Temple of God . The festiualles therfore of Ceres , as wisemen would haue them named , were also called (f) (f) In english , Ascendings : because the mindes of them that were occupied therein , were lifted vp aloft . Epibateria , because of the ascending of the minde vp to the contemplation of heauenlie things . Which festiuals , contrariwise , are termed of the simpler sort Anacalypteria , because that in celebrating of the same , the assemblie were bald & bareheaded : thus imagined the multitude . For he which beginneth to be bald , hath entred holie orders , and is instructed and taught from aboue the mysteries of the highest God .

And as Pomegranates , and walnuttes are naught which die in their shels : so are al heads starke naught , which want the heauenlie fruite of witte , being ouergrowne with the superfluous mosse of a dead thing . (g) (g) The Aegyptians shaue their bodies all ouer , to th' ende that no vermine or other filthinesse maie breede about them , when they are busie about the seruice of their Gods. The Priests of Aegypt vsed of custome to kéepe their eie liddes voide from haire . Whereby although they séemed in shew to be but fooles : yet notwithstanding they were the wisest men in the world . For it is a common Prouerb , that The Aegyptians excell in wisedome . For there ought to be no agréement betwéene things euerlasting , and things corruptible . The bald pate hath a kinde of naturall acquaintance with God . Now Sir , whether God be bald , or not : that is counsell to vs . Of this I am assured , that the things which are next vnto God , are the Spheres of the heauens , and they are balde : in like manner are the starres . The Heauen it selfe appeareth balde in our sight : in the praise whereof what so euer we can saie , the same maie well serue to commend baldnesse .

And although Homer the Poet , & Phidias the Painter , giue Iupiter such (h) (h) He alludeth to the wordes of Homer , in the first of his Iliads , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , that is to saie , Iupiter shooke heauen . long shocked haire flagging about his shoulders , as that with the wagging thereof he maketh the verie firmament to quake and tremble : yet notwithstanding what a Iupiter is in heauen , we are not nowe to learne . Whether there be besides him , another visible Iupiter , consisting of soule and bodie , members and limmes , &c. it passeth my skill to conceiue . But if there be such a one , let him be so good as to stoupe : for there is one aboue , whose maiestie is vnexpresseable . But that there is such a Iupiter , whose hairie lockes make him so wonderfull , who affirmes it , but the Poet , and the Painter , men so farre from setting out trueth in her nakednesse , that they delight wholie in the flattering colours of falshood and lies ? (i) (i) Poets and painters haue a quicker eie to their owne priuate praise than to the setting out of trueth in her kind . They are phantasticall bragging fellowes , & what soeuer they doe , they doe it for their owne vaine glorie , & not for truthes sake .

The ignorant sort imagine that bushie haire maketh men honourable : and at all externall or outward things , if they be gaie and rare , the rude multitude doe wonder . Creatures hauing outward haire , it is to them in sted of outward goodes . In place of the Mind : Nature , yea variable Fortune hath the haire at commandement . The giftes therefore of Nature and Fortune , are supposed of the vnskilfull commonaltie , to be ( as it were ) bridges to blessednesse . He which either writeth or speaketh to the vnlearned people , necessarie it is , that he get their good opinion : yea , he must inuent and deuise , reason and discourse of such matters , as the people like well of , and allow . The vnlearned and vntaught multitude are fauourers of absurd opinions : whereby it commeth to passe , that if anie one presume to bring in a thing contrarie to common custome , he must néedes (k) (k) He alludeth to Socrates , who was condemned to drink poison , when he was accused of Anytus , and Melytus , that he thought scarse well of the Atheniens Gods. drinke poison : this punishment cannot be auoided . Unto what torments ( thinke you ) would the Graecians haue condemned Homer , if those things which he spake of Iupiter had bene consonant and answerable to the trueth ?

The Aegyptians , and speciallie the Wise men and Prophetes , put not men of occupation in trust with the making of the images of their Gods : but looke what baggage chanceth to fall from the gréedie Hawke and rauennous (l) (l) A bird in Aegypt cole black , which deuoureth much noisome and venomous vermine . Cicero speaketh of them somewhat largely , lib. 2. De natura Deorum . Ibis billes , therwith they deceiue the people in the Churche porch , whiles they themselues being in the Chauncell , hide their sacrifices , and procéede in their solemnities in the clossettes of their Gods , where certeine round boxes are kept shutte , whereof if the people shoulde haue but a glimpse , it were as much as the Sacrificers liues were worth : or else they shew vnto them Aesculapius with his bald pate , although the Graecians haue him hairie lockt in (m) (m) Epidaurus , a citie in Peloponnesus , wherin was built the famous temple of Aesculapius . Epidaurus , but they neglected the searching out of the truth . The Aegyptians maintaine the art of inchantment towards their Gods , and they speake by certeine signes and figures in their tongue .

Now , if you saie that a blasing starre is a hairie starre , it resteth to be proued first that it is a starre in déede : but doubtlesse it is no starre , although it be termed so amisse : neither doeth it continue aboue foure daies , and then consumeth awaie by litle and litle . But suppose it were a starre , and consider what a mischéeuous and euill thing the haire thereof is , which bringeth decaie euen to the starre it selfe ( if it be a starre : ) besides innumerable miseries whereof it is a foretoken , all which I passe ouer in this place . Haue we euer read that anie good starre wasted to nothing ? But this starre with crisped haire vanisheth , and the substance thereof dieth .

Séeing then that all celestiall bodies are blessed , and therewith also (n) (n) The round figure which keepeth in it selfe an euen proportion : of this figure is the Heauen , &c. His meaning is , that if the outgrowings of the haire were shauen awaie , the head woulde haue a resemblance of that perfect figure . the sphericall figure : I woulde wish that both I my selfe , & all my frendes , were indued with that good thing , that we maie be like Gods. Looke what things are like the true God , we maie boldlie cal them faire , beautifull , & amiable . But you will saie , it is a fond thing , yea repugnant to reason , that we should attribute vnto baldnes such honour , as to giue it diuine names , and heauenlie praises : considering that it hath no likenesse or agréement with things celestiall . But we being disposed to speake well by , & to please baldpates , say , they are certeine litle Moones : neither know I what may be applied vnto them more deseruedly , or more peculiarly . For first of all it appeareth with two hornes , then it entreth into the quarter , afterwards it sheweth more than halfe , and lastly ariseth the full Moone . So it fareth with baldpates , who are ( as it were ) full Moones , or rather Sunnes , because they diminish not , but kéeping continually their full compasse of roundnesse , giue light vnto other starres in the skies .

We reade of the (o) (o) Among the rest , Melanthus is mentioned in this manner , 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 , &c. They flie vpon him , they catch him by the cocks comb , and holde him fast by the hairie lockes . Hom. Odyss. wanton wooers with whome Vlysses had to deale , after his returne from his long trauel , how he being a baldpate , made a slaughter of aboue a hundred hairie lockt yonkers with his owne hands , hauing none other helpe . Baldnesse therefore is an excellent thing : for it hath light in it selfe , & it giueth light vnto others . The cause of this brightnesse is baldnesse and smoothnesse . At what time we goe to the better , at the same time we depart from the worsser . Life and light being two of the best companions , are contrarie to death and darknesse . And if so be that brightnesse haue nakednesse , & yet beautifieth : darknesse vndoubtedlie hauing hairmesse , of necessitie beséemeth . But you saie that haire is a natural shadow , such as the praises whereof the Poet Archilochus describeth in the person of an harlot , saying : Her neck & shoulders darkened were with shadow of her brodered here . And as for shadow , what is it else but darknesse ? The night is the greatest shadow of all shadowes , procéeding from the earth , which in déede stoppeth the Sunne beames . Woodes & Groues , because they are dimme and darke , notwithstanding their pleasantnesse , are destitute of light , euen at noone daie . Light , for so much as it is the proper goods of the Gods , is heauenlie , and therefore is to be ascribed vnto heauenlie thinges . Wherevpon when manie yeld their heads to the Barbars scissers & raisor , to be shorne and shauen , that thereby they might recouer and preserue their health , which of al things is the most excellent , being in déede heauenlie , it falleth out , that they are no sooner bald , but by and by they are safe from sicknesse , which otherwise they might haue sustained . (p) (p) A reason drawne from health , whereby Synesius persuadeth baldnesse to be verie commodious and good . The rheume leaueth them , deafnesse forsaketh them , bléeriednesse biddeth farewell vnto them : and a multitude of other maladies , which procéede & issue from the head , vanish awaie : all which proue sufficientlie , what a worthie and notable thing it is , to be bald and without haire .

To the heade , as to a Castell or Tower , the strings or ropes of diseased are tied , & hang downe through the rest of the bodie . If anie be bald , then is he healthfull : yea , he beareth about with him , the image of bald (q) (q) This Aesculapius was the first finder out of Physicke , and was bald : whome diuers people adored & honoured as a God . Aesculapius of Aegypt , of whome he is liuelie representation and paterne . He that intendeth to recouer and preserue health , let him addresse him selfe to be like the first finder and inuenter of Physicke . The skull abiding bare , and suffering the heate of the Sunne , & the rage of tempestes , in short time changeth from bone to iron : and thereby is set frée from the assault or daunger of anie sicknesse . And as the speares of the mountain , are much more excellent than those of the fennes : euen so a bald & smooth skonse , is to be preferred by manie degrées , before a shocking frisled hairie head .