A bavvd A vertuous bawd, a modest bawd: as shee deserves, reproove, or else applaud. Written by John Taylor.

A BAWD . MY Verse is honest , seemely , neat and cleane , Yet is my Theame polluted and obsceane : I le touch foule pitch , yet will not be defild , My Muse shall wade through dirt , & not be soild . The Sun on noysome dunghills shines as well , As on faire flowers that doe fragrant smell : The Ayre by which we live , doth every where Breathe still alike upon the poore and Peere . The Sea beares many an old despised * * Witnesse my paper Boat . Boat , Yet on the Sea the best Ships doe but float , And Earth allowes to all her scattred brood , Food , Clothes and Lodging to the bad and good . Yet Sun , Ayre , Sea , nor Earth receive disgrace By any bountie which they give the base . Even so my Muse , ( free from all foule intents ) Doth take example from the Elements , In laying better studies by a while , And in cleane fashion write a beastly stile : Yet will I not my sense or meaning marre ; With tearmes obscure , or phrases fetcht from farre Nor will I any way equivocate , With words sophisticall , or intricate , Vtopian-Fustianisme , poore heathen Greeke , To put my Readers wits to groape and seeke . Small eloquence men must expect from me , My Schollership will name things as they be . I thinke it good , plaine English , without fraud , To call a spide a spade , a Bawd a Bawd . Two little Pamphlets I have wrote before , Which I was bold to call a Thiefe , and Whore , Yet was my Whore so chaste , that she had not , From end to end , one foule offensive spot ; Nor did my Thiefe from any man purloyne , Or liv'd by filching either goods or coyne . And now by chance it came into my mind , That with the Bawd my Pen was much behind : My Whore was honest , and my Thiefe was true , And in this sort I le give the Bawd her due . Strange fruit from my poore barren labour springs , I modestly must immodest things : 'T is somewhat hard , but yet it is no riddle , All Bawdry doth not breed below the middle . So many severall sorts of Bawds doe grow , That where there 's not a Bawd , 't is hard to know . The first with spirituall Bawds , whose honor high Springs from the whoredome of Idolatry , Cast but your eyes upon the Man of Rome , That stiles himselfe the Head of Christendome , Christs universall Vicar , and Vicegerent , In whom fooles thinke the Truth is so inherent , That he can soules to Heaven or Hell preferre , And being full of Errours , cannot erre : And though his witchraft thousands hath entic'd , Hee will be call'd Lieutenant unto Christ . How hath that false Conventicle of Trent , Made lawes , wch God , or good men never meant , Commanding worshipping of stones and stocks , Of Relikes , dead mens bones , and senslesse blocks , From which adultrate painted Adoration , Men ( worse then stocks or blocks ) must seek salvation ? The Soules of men are His that dearly bought them , And he the only way to Heav'n hath taught them . And who so forceth them to false adoring , Is the maine Bawd unto this spirituall Whoring . Besides , it is apparent , and most cleare , That he 's the greatest Bawd the Earth doth beare : For hee that tolerates the Stewes erection , Allowes them Priviledges and Protection , Shares in the profit of their sordid sweat , Reapes yearely Pensions and Revenues great , Permits the Pole-Shorne fry of Friers and Monks , For Annuall stipends to enjoy their Puncks . When * * Hen. Smith in his Treat . of Herodot . cap. 38 pag 303. Paul the third the Romish Miter wore , Hee had contributary Trulls such store , To five and fortie thousand they amount , As then Romes Register gave true account . Besides , it was approv'd , the gaine was cleere * * Cornelius Agrippa in his vanity of Sciences . Full twentie thousand Duckats every yeere . Moreover , once a Bishop ( boasting said , He had Ten Thousand Priests that paid ( Some more , some lesse ( by way of Rent or fines ; Each * * Idem . a Lucrece was first maried to her own brother the sonne of Pope Aleaxander the sixt , she being daughter to the said pope , and daughter in law to him by the marriage with his son . And being concubine to the said Pope , he caused her after his sonne her husbands death , to be married to three princes one after another : First to Duke Iohn Sforza . Secondly , to Lewis sonne to Alphonfus King of Arragon . Thirdly , to Alphonsus D. Est Duke of Ferara . b Her name was Constancia , she was married to a Duke named Sforza , but the Pope her father poysoned her , because he could not lawfully enioy her . Also for the like be poysoned his sister . one of them for keeping Concubines . And he that keepes none , payes as much as he As for his vse doth keepe one , two or three . Al 's one , the Priests must pay t' augment the treasure Keepe or not keep , Whore or not Whore at pleasure . Now judge , good Reader , have I said amisse , Was ever any Bawdry like to this ? Pope ᵃ Alexander of that name the sixt , With his owne childe incestuously commixt . And Paul the third ( affecting the said Game ) With his owne ᵇ daughter did commit the same : And after with his sister tooke such course , That he with her did doe as bad or worse . Iohn the thirteenth , and other more , 't is plaine Have with their sisters and their daughters laine , And when their stomacks have beene gone & past , To Princes they have married them at last . Here 's Bawds of State , of high and mighty place , Our Turnbul street poore Bawds to these are base . But these brave doings better to disclose , A little while I le turne my Verse to Prose .

The forenamed Lucrece being dead , had this Epitaph bestowed on her , written by Pontanus : Here lies Lucrece by name , but Thais in life , The Popes child , and spouse , & yet his ownsons wife . Besides , I found a cursed catalogue of these veneriall Caterpillers , who were suppressed with the Monasteries in England , in the time of King Henry the eight , with number of trugs , which each of them kept in those daies , as those ; Christopher Iames a Monke of the Order of Saint Bennet in Canterbury , had three whores , all married women : William Abbot of Bristoll , foure : Nicholas Wbyden Priest kept foure in Windsor Castle : in the same place George Whitthorne five , Nicholas Spoter five , Robert Hunne five , Robert Daveson sixe , Richard the Prior of Maidenbeadly five ; In Shuldred Monastery in Chichester Diocesse , George Walden the Prior seven , Iohn Standnep seven , Nicholas Duke five ; In Bath Monastery Richard Lincombe seven , three of them married : Iohn Hill in the Cathedrall Church at Chichester but thirteen ; Iohn White Prior of Bermondsey had no more but twentie : all this Rabble was found and known in England ; let a man imagine then how many were not known , and what a goodly brood of Barnes were fathered upon those that never begat them : withall , if England were so stored with them , it is not to bee doubted but all the rest of the Christian world did swarme with these lecherous Locusts .

Moreover , much knavery ( Bawdery I should say ) may bee covered under the vaile of Auricular Confession ; for the Priest having a yong prettie maid or wife at shrift , will know her disposition , groape out all her secret conveyances , and craftily underfeele her policies , and for a penance for her faults past , she is enjoyned to commit a sin present . The unloading of her Conscience ( many times ) proving the burthen of her belly Forty weekes after . And in this manner the most zealous Catholike , or the most jealous Italian , may bee most devoutely cornuted under the cloake of Confession and Absolution .

Besides a most pernicious Bawd is hee , That for poore b b A flattering hireling Preacher , is a Bawd to the vices of his surly Patron , and an hypocriticall conniver at the crying sinnes of his Audience . scraps , and a bare ten pounds fee , Dares not his mighty Patron to offend , Or any way his vices reprehend , Nor preach 'gainst pride , oppression , usury , Dice , drinke , or drabbes , vaine oathes or simony , Nor Veniall sinne or Mortall , or nothing That may his Worship in the Withers wring : But every way must fit his Text and time , To leave untoucht th' Impropriators crime : Thus those whose functions Heaven doth signifie , ( Who should like trumpets lift their voices high ) Are mute and muzled , for a hireling price , And so are Bawds unto their Patrons vice ; For hee 's a Bawd who doth his living winne , By hiding , or by flattring peoples sinne . The * * The Devill is the chiefe Bawd . Prince of darknesse , King of Acheron , Great Emperour of Styx and Phlegeton , Cocytus Monarch , high and mighty Dis , Who of Great Limbo-lake Commander is , Of Tartary , of Erebus , and all Those Kindomes which men Barathrum doe call , Hee is the chiefest Bawd , and still he plods To send us whoring after godlesse gods : And by his sway , and powerfull instigation , Hath made the world starke drunke with fornication . For since the first Creation , never was The least degree of Bawdry brought to passe , But he began it , and contriv'd it still , He layd the plot , and did the Act fulfill . So that of all the Bawds that ever were , The Devill himselfe the Bell away doth beare : Yet all his whoring base Idolatrie , Did seeme Religious zealous sanctitie .

As thus

He blinded and withdrew people so farre from the service and knowledge of the true God , that they prayed to Pomona for the encrease of their fruit , to Ceres for Corne and Graine , to Silvanus for wilde-fowle , to Bacchus for wine , to Neptune for fish , to Mars for the successe of Wares and Captaines , to Phoebus for Physicke and Musicke , to Saturne for labourers and workmen in husbandry , to Pallas for valour , to Minerva for wisdome , to Iupiter for men of state and port , to Inno for Pompe and Iewels , to Vulcan for fire and lightening , to Venus for beauty and lascivious pleasure , to Luna for calmnes and faire weather , to Pluto for riches , to Mercury for learning and eloquence , to Flora for flowers , to Proteus for disguises , to Pan for Pypers , to Eolus for winds and stormes , to Bellona for battells and conquests , to Lucina for women with child , to Faunus for Goats and Venison , to Clotho for spinning out the thread of life , to Lachesis for wynding or reeling it , and to Atropos for cutting it off : my hee led them into more ridiculous sorts of spirituall adultery , as to worship with religious adoration , Cats , Dogges , Toades , Beetles , Serpents , Fooles , Madmen , Privies Onions , Garlicke , and many other damnable inventions , not to be numbred .

Neverthelesse , whosoever will but looke into the lying Legend of Golden Gullery ; there they shall finde that the poore seduced ignorant Romanists doe imitate all the idolatrious fornication of the Heathen Pagans , and Infidels ; and that they put their Hee and Shee Saints , to farre more baser and ignominious offices , then these vnbeleevers of former ages did dare to put vpon their ( vaine imaginarie ) gods , as they make Saint Crespine a Shoomaker , and Saint Roch the Patron of Sowters and Coblers , they put Saint Wendelin to keepe sheepe , and they make Saint Pelage a Cowheard or Neatherd , Saint Antony hath the protection of their Swine , Saint Vitus or Vitellus , aelias , Saint Calfe , an exellent patron or protector to cure those that are bitten of a Spider called Terrantulla , or Phallanx . They acknowledge Saint Gertrude for an exellent Rat-catcher , and Saint Hubert for a good Dogge-keeper ( some say a cunning Huntsman : ) the Smiths must pray to Eloye , the Painters to Saint Luke , the Bakers must inuocate Saint Honore , the Mariners Saint Nicholas , Saint Yue is for the Lawyers , and Saint Anne to finde things that are stolne or lost , whilst Saint Leonard is the onely Saint to set prisoners at liberty , by opening the dores in the night , and make their Shackles fall off without any noyse or knocking . Besides they make Iob a Physician to cure the Pox , when as that foule disease was not knowne in any part of the world many hundred yeares after Iobs dayes ; for in the yeare 1496. ( Charles the eight being then the French King ) the Pox was brought from Naples into France , having but a little before bin very thriftily by the Spaniards purchased from the Americans or West Indians : And therefore they doe Iob wrong to make a Mountebank of him , in ascribing cures to him beyond his skill or knowledge : but all is one for that , he must be content with his office , as Saint Valentine is with the falling sickness , Saint Roch with scabs and scurfes , Saint Sebastian with the Plague , Saint Entrope the Dropsie , Saint Genou the Gowt , Saint Petronella the Ague or any Fever , Saint Apollonia the Tooth-ach ; * * A Glister of Holy water I thinke , would better drive out the Devill . Saint Romane , they say , dispossesseth Devils out of the possessed , & Saint Maturine is the mad mens Saint to cure the Frenzie . It is to bee doubted , that Physicians and Chirurgians have small takings , where all these skilfull Saints are so employed , except now and then they get a Patient by chance , when the good Saint is over-busied , or not at leasure .

Moreover , there is a great contention amongst them , to what Saint they shal commit the keeping of their Geese : some will have Saint Andoch , some Saint Gallicet , and some Saint Feriall : the businesse is very weighty , and requires mature deliberation and ripe judgement : some there are that would deprive Saint Wendoline ( before named ) of his keeping sheepe , and bestow the place upon Saint Woolfe , which is a very unsutable name for a Shepheard .

By this which hath been said , the Reader may perceive what a cunning Bawd the Devill is , to adulterate the true service of the eternall God with these whorish inventions . And so though I could amplifie this point to a larger extent , in describing spirituall Bawds and Bawdry , yet now I thinke fitting to avoid tediousnesse , and to treat of this subject in other garbes and fashions .

It is reported by Henry Stephens in his Apology or defence of Herodotes , the first Book , 21. Chapt. pag. 182. That a merry disposed Priest got a pretty Lasse behind the high Altar upon a good Friday in the morning , where he thought all the Hee and Shee Saints were contented to keepe Counsell , but it was knowne to the Legate of Auignion ( by the intelligence of no Saint ) which Legate after hee had wisely considered on what day and time , and in what place the cleanely conveiance was acted , he out of his charitie concluded a Priest to be mortall , and that flesh was fraile , for which respects ( upon promise of amendment ) hee was absolved and released .

Moreover great * * Emperours have beene Bawdes . Emperours and Kings have beene Bawdes , as Suetonius Tranquillius writes of Tiberius Caesar , that he had Cels , and Caves , and Vaults in his house , where hee had a nursery of Whores , and oftentimes would have the execrable sport committed in his presence . The Emperour Domitian followed his admirable example , and Heliogabolus went so farre beyond them in the Art of Bawdry , that he made Punies of them both . And of latter yeares a * * A King of Castile , or Spaine , Bawd to his owne wife . King of Castile , called Henry the unable , because he could uot have a child by his wife to inherit after him : he kindly intreated one of his Lords to take the paines to beget an Heire for him .

There was a rich Burger of Antwerp , a Mercer by his trade , who was a Bawd to his owne wife ( though it was against his will or knowledge ) but I blame him not , for I doubt hee hath many more fellowes as innocent and ignorant as himselfe , but this was the case , his wife wearing Corke-shooes , was somewhat light-heel'd , and like a foule player at Irish , sometimes she would beare a man too many , and now and then make a wrong Entrance : The summe was that shee lou'd a Doctor of Physicke well , and to attaine his company shee knew no better or safer way , then to faine her selfe sicke , that he under the colour of visitation might feele her pulses , and apply such cordiall Remedies as might either ease or cure her .

In briefe , the Doctor being sent for , comes and finds the Mercer her husband walking in his shop with a neighbour of his , where after a Leash of Conges , and a brace of Baeza los manus , the Mercer told him that his Wife is a languishing sicke woman , and withall intreats him to take the paines to walke up the staires , and minister some comfort unto her . Master Doctor , who knew her disease by the Symptomes , ascends up into the Chamber to his longing Patient , staying an houre with her , applying such directions and refections , that her health was upon the sudden almost halfe recoveered ; so taking his leave of her ( with promise of often visitation ) hee comes downe into the shop , where the guiltlesse Bawd her husband was , who demanding of the Doctor how all did above , truely quoth he , much better then when I came , but since I went up , your wife hath had two such strange violent fits upon her , that it would have grieved your very heart to have seene but part of one of them .

I my selfe doe know two men that lighted by chance into one of these houses of Iniquitie in Antwerpe , and I dare be sworne that they went to commit no carnall act , nor did commit any ; but they perceiving a pretty painted peece of Punks flesh , did suspect in what house they were , the one of them taking her by the hand , did aske her some questions ( wherein I thinke was not one word of God ; ) the other impatient that his fel'ow had ingrost all the familiarity and talke with the wench , begins to stampe , knocke and call , at which the man of the house enters , demanding , What doe ye lacke ? You base rascall , quoth the other , have you no more Whores in your house , must I stand like a Iacke an Apes heere empty handed ? Good sir , ( quoth mine Hoast ) bee patient , and I will presently send mine owne wife to waite upon you .

Nor is the skill and knowledge of a substantiall or absolute Bawd easily gotten or learned ; no my Masters , there is more in the matter then so ; Frist , shee is a young prettie Girle , and passeth time away in the instructions , rudiments , and documents of a Whore , till she hath attained ( with many hazards ) to the yeares of 30 or 35. in all which space she hath not spent her time idlely , but hath beene a creature of much use , having for the common cause , adventur'd the blemmish of her Reputation , the rigour of the Lawes , as whippings , Penance , Imprisonments , Fines , Fees to Justices Clarkes , Beadles , and such inferiour Reliques of Authoritie . Besides , her valorous combates and conflicts with Diseases , ( wherein shee often approves her selfe one of the profitablest members in a Common-wealth to Physicians and Chyrurgians : ) having ( I say ) passed all these degrees with much perill and jeopardie of her body , * * No toleration . then looke higher and thinke but on the shipwracke of her soule , ( an adventure of a greater price then shee is aware of ; ) then towards the declining of her life , and that her beautie fades , What a deale of charge is shee at with sophisticated Art , White and Red , to emplayster decayed Nature ? Her humilitie being such , that when her owne head is bald , shee will weare the cast haire of any hee for shee sinner , that made a voyage in a string from Tyburne , to either Heaven or Hell . And lastly , when as Art can no longer hide the sorrowed or wrinkled deformities of her over-worne Age ; then ( like a true wel-willer to the old trade shee hath ever followed , ) Whoring having left her very unkindly before shee was willing to leave it : shee , ( as her proper right for her long service ) takes upon her the office and authority of a Bawd , and as shee was brought up her selfe , so with motherly Care her Imployment is to bring up others , wherein her paines is not small , in hyring Countrey wenches , that come up weekely with Carryers , and putting them in Fashion , selling one Maydenhead three or foure hundred times , and sometimes with great labour and difficulty shee 's forced to perswade mens wiues and daughters ; all which considered , a Bawd doth not get her living with so great ease as the world supposeth ; nor is her adventure , paines , charge and perill to be inconsiderately slighted .

And as blabbing , babbling , taletelling , and discovering the faults and fraileties of others , is a most common and evill practice amongst too many : so on the other side , the vertues of a Bawd are much illustrated and confirmed by contrary effects : For she is the maine store-house of secresie , the Maggazin of taciturnity , the closet of connivence , the inumbudget of silence , the cloakebagge of councell , and the Capcase , sardle , packe , * * A necessary male for a man to trusse up his trinkets is . male , ( or female ) of friendly toleration . Shee is full of intolerable charity , for her whole trade and course of life is to hide and cover the faults of the greatest offenders , in which regard shee is one of the principall secretaries to the great Goddesse Venus , and one of her industrious vigilant most horrible priuie counsell , not being ignorant of the liberall Arts and Sciences , and exceedingly qualified in the seven deadly sinnes . And ( for her further behoofe ) shee hath and insight and can fashion her selfe to the humors of all Nations , degrees , conditions , mysteries and occupations .

First , for her knowledges in the Arts and Sciences , she hath the grounds of a a A Bawd a Gramarian . Grammar , whereby she can speake and write Amorously , fainedly , merrily , lamentably , craftily , purposely , Bawdily : these words all ending in Lye ( doe make her true dealing questionable ) yet her ayme is to live profitably , though her fate is to dye miserably . Her skill in b b An Astronomer . Astronomy cannot be small , for shee hath beene an often starre-gazer lying on her backe , practis'd in elevations , retrogradations , Conjunctions , and planetary revolutions ; but indeed shee is more addicted to accept the Moone for her Mistresse , then the Sunne for her Master , which makes her expert in nightworkes , ever changing from quarter to quarter , not long abiding in any place : sometimes shining in Lady-like resplendant brightnesse with admiration , and suddenly againe eclipsed with the pitchy and tenebrous clouds of contempt and deserved defamation . Sometimes at the Full at Pickt-hatch , and sometimes in the Wane at Bridewell ,

A Bawd is a c c A Logician . Logician , which is perceived by her subtill and circumventing speeches , doubtfull and ambiguous Apothegmes , double significations , intricate , witty , and cunning equivocations , ( like a skilfull Fencer that casts his eye upon a mans foot , and hits him a knock on the pate ) so she , by going the further about , comes the neerer home , and by casting out the Lure , makes the Tassel-gentle come to her fist .

For Rhetoricke , she must have the Theoricke and Practicke , that though the subject of her Discourse or writing be foule and deformed , yet must shee ( like a d d Mounthink , Rarearcher , or Landloper . Medicine-monger , Quack-salver , that covers his bitter pils in Sugar ) with the Embroidery of her Ecquence , flourish over her immodest pretences , under the inchanting and various colours of pleasure , profit , estimation , love , reputation , and many more the like .

But of all the e e Arithmatick . Arts , I think she be most unperfect in Arithmaticke ; for though she hath been brought up to know Divisions & Multiplications , yet shee hath traded but by Retaile , altogether in Fractions and broken Numbers , so that her accounts were seldome or never to number her dayes , not caring for the Past or the Future , her mind ( like a Diall ) alwayes fixed upon the Present given much to over and under-reckonings , for at fourty yeeres old she would be but twenty one , & at threescore she will be no lesse then fourescore : so that the marke being out of her mouth , we must take the Apocryphall account of her age from her owne Arithmaticke without any further warrant .

Cornelius Agrippa approves a Bawd for an excellent a a Geometry . Geometrician for devising engines to climbe into windowes , as ladders of Ropes , or such like , to scale the castle of comfort in the night , or the making of Picklocks or false keyes , wherein the Bawds care and providence is great , in greazing & oyling locks , bolts and hinges , to avoid noyse , she knowes her Angles , Triangles , quadrangles , squares , rounds , circles , semicircles and centers , her altitudes , longitudes , latitudes and dimensions ; yet for all this skill of hers , she hath much adoe to live squarely , according to Geometricall rules , or to live within any reasonable Compasse .

As for b b Musicke . Musicke , it is to be conjectured by her long practise in Prickesong , that there is not any note above Ela , or below Gammoth , but she knows the Diapason : ( a Bawd is old dog at a Hornepipe . her chiefest Instrument is a Sackbut , her female minikins do bring in her Meanes , and her Trebles , the Tenor of all is that her selfe is the Base . ) Besides , there are many pretty provocatory Dances , as the Kissing dance , the Cushin dance , the Shaking of the sheets , and such like , which are important instrumentall causes , whereby the skilfull hath both clients and custome .

c c Poetry . Poetry many times ( though shee understand it not ) doth her as good service ; for the most of our great Bawds are diligently waited on by scurrilous oylie sonneting , practicall , Poeticall , Panegyricall Panders , quaint trencher Epigrammatists , hungry and needy Anagrammongers , their conceits being either commending or provoking Bawdry : as one being requested by a Gentleman to invent him a poesie for a Ring which hee ment to give his Love , the conceit was : Have you any Logges to cleave ?

a a Painting . Painting and graving are now and then profitable servants to Bawds , as the naked Pictures of Venus , and Diana and her darlings ; Aretine , and divers other in that kinde can testifie ; but commonly all shee - Bawds , are or have beene painters themselves or painters of themselves , by which bold practice they are bold , adventrous , impudent , and audacious , fearing no colours .

As for b b Physicke and Chirurgery . Physické and Chirurgery , she hath beene so much practis'd vpon , that by long continuance , shee 's a most excellent Empericke , so that a man need not doubt but an ancient professed Bawd can play the Mountebanke .

Moreover , many old Bawds are skil'd in c c Palmestry and Fortune-telling . Palmestry or Chiromancy , by looking into the hand of a man or woman , or Phisiognomy , and Metoposcopi , in viewing of the face or forehead , by which shee professeth to tell the parties how many husbands or wives they shall have , how long they shall live , when they are neere a good or bad turne ; but above all , her skill is much credited to helpe yong women breed and fructifie , so that if shee be as barren as a Stockfish , yet the matronly medicines and instructions of this wise cunning woman , will in a little time make her encrease with a vengeance , and multiply with a mischiefe .

Besides her skill in these forenamed Arts and sciences , she hath an insight and practice into all Mysteries and manuall trades ; she can imitate a deceitfull d d Mercer Mercer in setting out her ware , faire to the eye , and false in the dye , with an outside of glorious glosse , and an inside of rotten decayed drosse , more for pride or pleasure , then for providence or profit .

Like a bold a a Grocer . Grocer , she cares not a Figge for any man , she knows flesh is fraile , yet she hath many Reasons to live by , she runns her race long , and she is able to Pepper as many as have any dealing with her ; tooth Likorish , tongue Lickorish , &c. Shee knowes a bribe to a Catchpole is a sufficient as an Almond for a Parrot , to free her from the heate of the Mace . Master Clove at the signe of the Sugar-loafe , is a sweet youth , whose Candied Visitation will keepe her estate Currant till age and diseases weare her quite out of date .

b A young rich heire newly come to his lands or portion , is a Bawds Broadcloth , whom she measures out in parts , I will not tell you with what yard , but I thinke no London measure , till in the end , onely a poore Remnant remaines ; her meaner Merchandise are Tradesmen , and poore Serving-men ; these serve for course Kersies , Bayes , Cottons , and Pennistones , to line her inside with Sacke , Hot waters , and Aqua vitae .

Though shee live after the flesh , all is c c Fish-mongers and Fishermen . Fish that comes to the Net with her ; shee is a cunning Angler , and gets her living by hooke or by crooke , shee hath bayts for all kinde of Frye : A great Lord is her Groneland Whale , a Countrey Gentleman is her Cods-head , a rich Citizens sonne is her Sows'd Gurnet , or her Gudgeon , A Puritan is her Whiting-mopp , her Lobster is a Scarlet Townsman , and a severe Iustice of Peace is her Crab ; her meanest Customers are Sprats and Pilchards , whilest the Puncke is her Salt Eele , and the Pander her Sharke & Sword-fish ; And though shee deale most in Scorpio , yet shee holds correspondencie with Pisces , for they are both Signes that attend upon Venus : Friday is her day , and a day of doome to more Fish then all the dayes in the weeke beside . And Fish by nature is provocatory , as appeares by the chaste lives of fasting fish-eating Fryers and Nuns , whose notorious ( qusia ) meritorious continency is touched partly afore .

She differs from the d d Goldsmith . Goldsmith in the Touch , the Test , and the Weight , yet she puts the best side of her ware outward ; shee casts and hammers her wenches into all fashions ; she hath them burnished , polish'd , punsh'd and turn'd , and if any of them by a fall , or too much heat bee bruis'd , crack'd , or broken , shee can soder them together againe , and make them marketable .

There is scarce any Art , Mystery , Trade or Manuall Occupation , but a Bawd hath a reference or allusion to it , or it to her . Therefore to runne division through them all , would be long labour to little purpose : In which respects having spoken of a few , I le skip over the rest to avoyd tediousnesse ; and to free my selfe from the imputation of partialitie , I will at last allude her to a Water-man ; for of all Degrees , Languages , Tongues , Nations , Ages , Sexes , Functions , and Fraternities are welcome and well entertain'd to the one and the other ( provided that they bring money in their purses . ) And as the Waterman rowes one way , and looks another , so a Bawds words and meaning doe very seldome goe together .

Our five Senses are the Cinque Ports of Bawdry , each one in his office being the Hearts Baud : The Hearing conveyes Tunes , Tales , Rymes , Riddles , Songs , Sonnets , and Madrigals . The Sigh● wanders , searcheth , seekes , finds and brings hom● ( into the very bedchamber of the heart ) amoro●● actions : provocatory gestures , effeminate glances , alluring lookes , pictures of prostitution , and veneriall vanities . The Taste playes the Bawd with both Art and Nature , and searcheth through the Earth , Seas and Skies for variety of temptation poore and innocent Lamstones , Potatoes , Eringoes Crabs , Scallops . Lobsters , Wilkes , Cockles , Oysters , Anchoves and Caveare , Cock-sparrowes , Coxcombe-pyes , and all manner of feathered fowle from the Eagle to the Wren , doe waite vpon the Taste , and the Taste attends the appetite . The Snul is the senting Bawd , that huffs and snuffs up and downe , and hath the game alwayes in the winde , that is a right smell-smocke sense , who is wonderfully pleased to be led by the nose , can hunt dry foot , and smell out venery nimbler then a pinchgut Vsurer will nose out a feast .

Touching or Feeling is a very merry Bawd and though a man or woman can neither Heare , See , Taste or Smell , yet Feeling may remaine : It is the last sense that keeps vs companie , and were it not for feeling , all the rest of the sences were but senceslesse .

And thus much more in excuse of a Bawd , though shee live by one of the Seaven Deadly Sinnes which is Lechery ; No man can deny Pride too be ●●other of the said Septarchy , yet the Mercer , the Silkeman , the Embroyderer , the Drawer , the Cutter , the Taylor & the Feather-maker , the new fashion-monger , the Divell and all thrive by Pride , and might shut up shop , if Pride were not .

Gluttonie and Drunkennesse is another of the brood , yet were it not for superfluous , voluptuous gurmandizing , and extraordinary swinish swilling and drinking ; the Wine-Merchant , the Vintner , the Malt-man , the Brewer , the Tapster , Poulterer , the sellers of Eringoes and Potatoes , and the Cooke would have but very cold takings .

Couetousnesse is another whelpe of the same kind , yet were it not for ravenous oppression , devouring Extortion , biting Vsury , Bribery , Detoir , and Coozenage , Dives would not , or could not fare deliciously and bee clad in Purple , nor the hackney Coach bee in such common request .

Envie is a high point of State , and he is no perfect Politician that repines not at the happinesse of all men ( but himselfe : ) commonly it gives due attendance in Princes Courts , and feedes vpon the detraction of Noble actions ; It eates into honour as a Canker doth into the best and choysest fruit , yet doth it live , thrive , weare good cloathes , is esteemed a talent of high wisedome and valour .

Wrath is a blood-hound of the aforesaid kennell , yet Armourers , Cutlers , Fencers , Chyrgians , and Bone-setters would bee idle , and vnimployment and meanes , if Wraeth did not overcome Patience , and Madnesse dispossesse Discretion and Reason .

Sloth is the last of the list , ( and wel may it come last , because it is the laziest ) yet is it a Gentleman like quality , and a Lady-like disposition to be idle and live upon the sweat of others ; Manuall trade or handicrafts are counted base and mercenary , a good industry is contemptible ; laudable endevour Mechanicall , and to take paines and labour , is drudgery and meere slavery .

Thus by Pride a man may come to bee one of the Masters of his Parish ; by Gluttony and Drunkennesse , he may hap to mount to a place of reputation and worship ; by Covetousnesse he may get a damnable deale of wealth , and be accounted a good man ; by Envy , he may be esteemed conceited , politike , grave and wise : by Wrath hee may gain the titles of valiant and resolute ; and by Sloth and Idlenesse hee may be perfectly knowne for a Ge●●man : * * All vices are in high account and great respect , but onely Bawds occupation : yet many men have an itching desire in private , to that which he will condemne in publike . And is it not a wonder , that these sixe deadly sinnes , should bee so uncharitable to the seventh , as to rob it of all earthly reputation , where if a man doe consider them rightly , there is never a barrell better Herring ; nor doth the Bawd live in a worse estate or condition , than the Proudest Gluttonous Drunkard , or the most Covetous , Envious wretch : The Wrathfull bloudy villaine , or the idle slothfull drone , are clogd with vices as vile and abominable as a Bawd , yet for all this , the purblind partiall world doth hugge , embrace , cherish and reverence all these enormities , onely a Bawd , a silly painfull , serviceable Bawd , is held odious and contemptible .

Commonly most of the shee - Bawds have a peculiar priviledge more than other women : for generally they are not starveling creatures , but well larded and embost with fat , so that a Bawd hath her mouth three stories of Chinnes high , and is a well-fed Embleme of plentie ; and though shee bee but of small estimation , yet is she alwayes taken for a great woman amongst her neighbours .

* * The patience of a Bawd . On former Shrove-Tuesdayes , when the unruly Rabble did falsely take upon them the name of London Prentices , then two or three thousand of those boot-haling pillaging Rascalls , would march madly to the habitations of the most famous Bawds , where they would robustiously venter , breaking open Doores , battring downe Wals , tearing downe tyles , pulling downe windowes , rending Trunkes , Chestes , Cupboords , Tables , and Bedsteads in pieces ; ripping and embowelling Bolsters and Featherbeds , ravishing her mayds or stale virgins , spoyling all they stole not , and stealing what they liked , beating the grave Bawd , and all her female vermine , most unmanly and vnmannerly . In all which uncivill civill hostilitie , the singular patience of the Bawd , is worthy admiration ; not giving any of these landsharkes an ill word , or shewing any signe of anger or desire of revenge , but intreating the most rough-hewd Rogues in the company , with the stiles of honest worthy Gentlemen with I pray you , I humbly desire you , I heartily - beseech you , to asswage your fury , appease your wrath mollifie your anger , suppresse your ire , mitigate your rage . These and like Phrases a modest ancient Bawd would discreetly vtter to her greatest enemies , rendring good words for bad deedes , when they were doing or had done to her all the mischiefes before named , nor ever after would shee offer to take any legall course , as to cause them to bee brought before a Iustice , whereby the Law might in some sort give her satisfaction . In which sufferance the great patience of a Bawd is remarkable .

We doe esteeme a Fountaine , Well , or Spring to be the more cleere from poyson , if a Toad , Newt , or a snake , be in either of them , for we imagine that those venimous creatures doe sucke or extract all the contagion of that Christaline Element into themselves . a a The necessity of a Bawd . In the like nature , a Bawd is the snuffers of the Common-wealth , and the most wholesome or necessary Wheele-barrow or Tumbrell , for the close conveyance of mans luxurious nastinesse , and sordid beastiality . Ravens , Kites , Crowes , and many other birds of prey , are tolerated to live unhurt , not for any good that is in themselves , but because they doe good offices in devouring and carying away our Garbage and noysome excrements , which they live by ; and if they were not our voluntary Scavengers , we should be much annoyed with contagious savours of these corrupted offals . These are the right paternes of an industrious Bawd , for shee pickes her living out of the laystall on dunghil of our vices ; if she thrive and grow fat , it is with the Merdurinous draffe of our imperfections , ( for shee is seldome beholding to an honest man for so much as a meales meat ) she robs not the vertuous of any part of their virtue , she lives only by the vicious , and in this sort she is an executioner of sinners , and in the end gives the most wicked cause to repent , leaving them such aking remembrance in their joynts , that their very bones rattle in their skins .

In other trades , when Apprentices come out of their yeares , they are allowed to set up for themselves , and to have other Apprentices under them . He that hath been a Grammar Scholler , when hee commeth to ripenesse of learning and judgement , will thinke himselfe able and sufficient to bee a Schoolemaster , and to have Schollers under him : and why should not b b The equity of a Bawd . Whores have a Mistresse of their owne dealing-trade , that they may have Apprentices under their nurture and discipline , who may by their obedience in their minoritie , be advanced to command others in the same mysterie or occupation ? And therfore the law ( in this point ) favouring their vocation , why should any Consorious Cato plead the Law for banishing of any Bawdes ?

Why should any Ecclesiasticall Lawes in Forraigne Countreyes , debarre Bawds and their disciples from the Sacrament ; as if they were not i●● Charity , when as they are knowne to be so Catholikely charitable , that they extend their c c The charity of a Bawd . loue to all without exception , and are ready enough to forgive all the world , knowing themselves to be such great offenders , that they much need forgivenesse ?

Wel fare d d The Philosophy of a Bawd . the Common-wealth plotted to Plato , who would have no woman appropriate to any man ( it seemes he was a great enemie against inclosures , who would have all thus lye common ) his reason was very Phylosophicall , the like whereof is not to bee found either in Don Quixot , or Sir Thomas Moores Vtopia , namely , that when no child had any proper father , every man would love every childe as his owne , and so the whole City should be happy in a Combination of an universall love equally extended to all . If so wise a man as Plato , was not ashamed to make himselfe the universall Bawd of a whole Common-wealth , why should any of our unlearned neighbours that have read farre fewer Bookes then hee , bee ashamed to bee accounted procuring Panders in one house , in the skirts of a City , for the Platonicall Conjunction of their neighbours within a street or two adjoyning .

* * The civility of a Bawd . In Italy and most civill Countreys , it is counted a most vncivill curiosity to aske any man ( though after long acquaintance ) of what religion he is , or whence he commeth , or whither he goeth , or whether hee bee a marryed man , or intend to marry . Who then more civill or fairely mannered then the Bawdes : or they never put any of their customers to the racke to confesse , nor doe they torture their guests with the sawcy inquiry of whence come you ? How long will you tarry in Towne ? Have you a wife at home Or are you a loose Batchelor ? are you a Gentleman ? a Merchant , or Tradesman ? are you a Catholike , or reformed ? the Bawd I say , is so civill , that shee never will aske any of these questions ; one thing onely she studieth and practiseth , which is diligently to demand* whether a man have any mony in his purse , which is no impertinent question : for the Law doth authorize a Landlor to demand his Rent vpon the ground where it is due , although sometimes hee lets his tenant enjoy his house or land a quarter , of halfe a yeere before he receive any rent : A waterman sweats and lands his fare before he lookes for mony . The Host suffers his guest to eate his meate , before anon , anon , with the white Apron comes in with thus much to pay , and yee are welcome ; no man at any game takes up his winnings before the Game be wonne ; an Vsurer takes no forfeit before the day of payment be part ; but the Bawd in her demand is more wise and provident , then all these trades and functions , for shee like a Butcher takes present pay for her flesh , she will be sure to have her wages before she afford you her penny-worth , you shall not drinke at her muddy Well before you pay for it . Shee knowes that Hope and Desire of that which is to come , is a better paymaster , then grudging remembrance of fruition of that which is past . Herein shee hath good examples to follow of no meane vocatious , the learned Physician and Chirurgian would be loth to exspect their reward till the cure be performed ; the honestest Lawyer would plead but coldly if he might receive no Fees till his clients cause were judged . A Fencer will fight but faintly if he should take no mony before his prize were plaid & the Players on their Publike stage would act very poorly if their audience did not pay at their first comming in .

The greedy haling and pulling of other mens goods , or insatiate appetite to feed , ingurgitate , guzzle and swill , are apparant markes or tokens of Intemperance ; who then more Temperate then a Bawd ? for * * The temperance of a Bawd . shee is so full of modestie that she lives onely vpon what people doe give her : Men doe voluntarily bring her revenues to her , shee kindly takes no more then shee can get , nor receives any thing but what is brought her , and as the Taylor steales not at all , because men do frely ( and vnconstrained ) deliver their goods to him ; even so , the Bawd cannot be taxed with depriving any man of more then he idley parts withall .

Wise men have said , that vertue hath no great praise where there is no allurement or temptation to vice , and therefore have accounted it but small mastery for a Iudge to be uncorrupt where there are no bribes stirring , for a poore Clowne to bee humble that hath neither money nor Cloathes to bee proud of ; for a Drunkard to bee sober where is no drinke but faire water ; for a notorious thiefe to refraine from filching , where there is not any thing to steale ; or for one to live chast in a Monasterie or Nunnery : But here is the eminency of abstinence , and the true praise of vertue , for a man to fast at a delicious feast ; to be deere from bribes or gentle rewards , where oppressions , extortions , strifes and contentions doe continually grow and multiply : To be sober and thirsty where wines and strong drinkes are plenty in variety ; to be true and trustie amongst inestimable Iewels , vncountable Treasure , or untold Gold . These are superarogating vertues , which though many boast of , yet few attaine to : now the Bawd lives in the store-house of libidinous confraternity , in the shop of Venery , in the Garden of lacivious pleasure , in the Ever-growing and Flourishing field of vanity ; amongst those that practise the excesse of Luxury , none so neere within ken of wantonnesse and dalliance ; shee admits into her house men flourishing in yeeres , hot in their desires , and willing in performance , yet ( for ought I know ) * * The chastity of a Bawd . a Bawd was never accused for committing fornication in her owne person , ( which is a rare marke of abstinence ) for who can produce out of any record , that a Bawd was ever carted for playing the Whore ?

And this is her comfort when she is carted , that shee rides when all her followers goe on foot , that every Dunghill payes her homage , and every Taverne looking-glasse powres bountifull reflection vpon her , the streets and windowes are full of spectators of her pompe . Shouts , acclamations and ringing on well tuned Banbury kettle-drums , and barbarous Basins , proclaime and sound forth her triumphant progresse , whilest shee rides embrodered all over like a Lady of the soyle , conducted in state out of the Easterne suburbs , to set vp her trade fresh and new in the West .

As concerning Religion or matters of * * The conscience and religion of a Bawd . Conscience , shee is a creature that will never runne mad with beating her braines in any point of such high quality . For whereas it is a speech or proverbe , to say , that an extortioner , vsurer , or corrupted Magistrate hath a Large Conscience , so on the other part , it is a saying , that such a man or woman hath no Conscience : now betweene these extremes of large and none , the Bawd doth observe the mediocrity or meane : for to say that shee hath a large catholike or universall Conscience , to entertaine all comers , or all that would come to her , is false , for her conscience is bounded , caged , and imprisoned , & limited in any man purse or pocket , of what estate , condition or Religion soever . On the contrary , to say that shee hath no Conscience at all , it were to doe her an open injury , for she doth extend her entertainement , to as many as please to please her , and her charity doth alwayes stretch as farre as any mans money will reach : And to speake the truth , shee hath great reason on her side ; for if a man let his Horse to hire , or Asse to marker , hee will looke to be paid for the travell or paines of his Beast ; and shall a Bawd let her Soule to the Devill for nothing ? A Knight of the Poast will not hazzard damnation ( and his eares to the Pillory to boote ) but ( if hee be wise ) hee will be well paid for his labour . Will any great man oppresse and undoe a whole Country , and ( with the losse of the Kingdome of Heaven ) purchase an accursed portion of Earth , but that hee will have terrestriall Angels minister to him here , making no account of the celestiall hereafter ? And shall the Conscience of a Bawd be Pinfolded so straitly , that her Soule shall be of losse esteeme than a Hackney man makes of his Horse or Asse ? or a swearing and forswearing Rogue doth of his eares ? no , no my Masters , shee is wiser than so , shee thinkes it is a long journey to Hell , and therefore she doth thristily provide to save charges , that other men shall pay for her passage or Coach-hire : shee will not travell so farre upon her owne cost shee is so well beloved , that every one of her customers ( will or must ) give her something toward the reckoning , she hath more policie in her than to be damn'd for nothing ; and she scornes to usurpe a place in Hell without just title or desert .

As for her Religion , it is of the same piece as her Conscience is , there went but a paire of sheeres betweene ; with the Papist shee will be Ceremonious for the * * Of mens money . Crosse , with the Puritane , shee will be precise , casting her eyes up , when her thoughts are downe , and accept the * * Crosse and Pyle . Pyle ; shee hath so brought up her schollers , that the name of God is too often in their mouthes , for they will sweare either with or without occasion ; and as concerning maters of truth , shee hath brought them up so , that they will lye with any man . Most of them are of the sect of the Family of Love , they differ onely in this , the Familists doe hold opinion , that onely when the husband sleeps , that the wife may take as much liberty as a Cat , to play , &c. but the Bawd doth allow a larger toleration , and admits either man or woman to have accesse , and use their exercise both sleeping and waking . Shee is indeed addicted to any Religion , or all , or none , no further than her ease and profit doth incite her , for she knowes that charity is a good huswife , and will begin her owne work at home first : In which respect a Bawd holds a high point of Doctrine , to love her selfe better then she doth all the world besides : and in this she differs much from a Romane Catholike , that she builds not vpon her Workes , or hath any hope to be saved by her merits . And should persecution come , she will be no Martyr , she will neither hang for one religion , or burne for another , shee knowes that she came a raw creature into the world , and her resolution is , that neither religion or conscience shall send her roasted out of it .

And thus I would have the Reader to consider ; that the paines that J have taken in this description of a Bawd , is more then I would willingly doe for the honestest woman that dwels betweene Smithfield-barres and Clerkenwell , and I know that there is not any of the trade so ingratefull , but that if my selfe or any friend of mine have occasion to vse them , they will doe their best for me , and goe as neere as they can to take our money . Neither have I discoursed of any vpstart new fangled bable or toy , but of an ancient solid , reall , and lasting thing , for when all trades are trade-falne and broken , a Bawd may set up with little worth , or a thing of naught , and many times her lucke is so fortunate , that she will * * A Bawd is an excellent Chimmist . extract out of sinne and wickednesse , good money , good cloathes , good meat , and almost good any thing , but good conscience : but that is but a poore beggerly vertue , which her contrary nature cannot agree withall , for shee knowes by old experience that it hath vndone many , and that they are accounted none of the wisest , that make any account or reckoning of it .

I am sorry that I have not dedicated this Booke to some great Patron or Patronesse : but the world is so hard to please , that I thinke it an easier matter to displease all , then every way fully to please one ; for I did lately write a small Pamphlet in the praise of cleane Linnen , which I did dedicate to a neat , spruce , prime , principall and superexellent Landresse , and shee in stead of protecting my labours , or sheltring my good and painfull study , doth not onely expresse her liberality in giving me nothing , but also shee depraves and deprives me of that small tallent and portion of wit and Poetry which nature hath given or lent me ; most untruely affirming and reporting , that that Pamphlet was the invention of a grave and learned friend of mine , ( whose imployments are so urgent and eminent , and whose capacitie is so mature and approved ) that not one line , word , sillable , or letter is in that poore toy , but it is so farre unlike a wiseman , that they all , and every one , doe most truely and obediently call , Iohn Taylor , Father .

But belike she hath learned some frugall quallities , of some who are more honoured and worshiped , then honorable or worshipfull , who take it for a point of thrifty wisdom to discomend wher they doe not meane to reward . It is a kind of policy , under which many better labours then mine have suffred persecution and Martyrdome ; and belike my unkind Patronesse is ambitious to follow the example of her betters . But I would have her to know , that if shee had but gratefully accepted my Booke of Cleane Linnen , that then I would have cudgeld and canvasde my Muse , I would have rowz'd my spirits , belabour'd my Invention , beaten my braines , thump'd , bumbasted , strapadoed , lambski'nd , and clapperclaw'd my Wits , to have mounted her praise one and thirtie yards ( London measure ) beyond the Moone . But ingratiude is the poyson of industry , & detraction is the destruction of good endevours , for the which sinnes of hers , I will allot her no other punishment but this , that shee shall remaine as shee was and is , the true wife to an honest Cobler , A cleanly , trusty , chast , loving and well-beloved Landresse ; whom ( when the fates and destinies shall deprive Chancery-Lane of ) then many polluted and slovenly Linnen soylers shall lament in soule bands , blacke cuffes , and mourning shirts .

a a The industry and vigilancy of a Bawd . As Sloth and idlenesse are vices discommended in all Lawes and Common-wealths , being enormites of that high nature and vile condition that they have ruined whole Kingdomes , Cities , families , and many particular persons ; so on the contrary , diligence , industry and carefull vigilancy , are qualities that doe not onely erect States and Commonwealths , but they doe also conserve and preserve whomsoever shall put them in use and practice : who then is more vigilant or industrious then a diligent Bawd , shee is none of the seven Sleepers , nay she carefully watcheth whilst others sleepe , shee takes paines for the pleasure of many , shee is the true Embleme or Image of security , her eyes like carefull & trusty scouts or spies doe foresee & prevent the danger of Mr Busiman the Constable with his ragged , rusty regiment . Moreover , shee is not like a ship bound for Groneland , which must saile but in summer , or a pot of ale with a roast , which is onely in winter : no let the winde blow where it will , her care is such , that it brings her prize & purchase all seasons , her b b Or Punckes . pinkes are fraughted , her Pinnaces are man'd , her friggors are rig'd ( from the beakhead to the Poope ) and if any of her vessels be boorded by Pyrats , and shot betwixt wind & water , they are so furnished with engines , that they le send them packing with a pox , or else blow them quite up with a Devils name : there is not a poynt in the compasse but the skilfull c c A Bawd a skilfull Navigaton . Bawd observes , if the wind be North or North-east , she expects profits out of the Low-countries , from Germany , Denmarke , Norway , and sometimes a prize from Scotland ; if at South or S. west , then her hopes are from France ; but Spaine & Italy doe seldome or never faile her ; And let it blow high or low , the Englishman is neere on all occasions . Shee hath not bin much accused for receiving uncustomed goods , for to speak the truth , she will harbour no ventred commodity in her warehouse ; & if the Informer or Constable doe light upon one of her conceal'd dryfats , Punchions , fardils or ( naughtie ) packs , and having seiz'd it by his office , & honestly laid it up safe in the storehouse of Bridewel , yet the Bawd wil so compound in the busines , that for a smal toy , and a little sufferance , she 'l redeeme the Commodity & have her ware again in her owne hands .

d d The plaine dealing of a Bawd A Bawd is no deceiver of her customers , for what she promiseth shee will performe , as for example , If shee take a fee to helpe a man to a Whore shee will not cheat him and bring him an honest woman ; a bargaines a bargaine , and shee will not saile you in a tittle : shee plainly and openly shewes her selfe what shee is , shee doth not dissemble or hide her function from her clyents , under the veile of hypocrysie , and for her creatures that live under her , e e A Bawd hath common sence and reason to take her part or share in her profession . shee hath taught them their Art whereby they may live another day , when shee is dead and rotten , and as they have their maintenance by her instruction , & under her protection , so it is fit that in requitall of her paines , she should pick a revenue out of their commings in ; shee hath good presidents out of famous Authors for it : an old brave fellow tooke great paines in teaching of his Cuthorse , and the beast was so thankfull for it , that hee got his masters provender , and his owne both , many yeeres after . If a man teach an Ape to doe trickes , the honest Ape will maintaine him for it ; I have seene a Hare get her master and dames living , with playing on a Tabor . The very Baboones are grave examples in this kind , Tumblers boyes , ( and sometimes their wives ) doe teach us this duty ; and the ignorant Puppets doe allow their maker and masters , meat , drinke , and cloath . For mine owne part , If I teach my man to row , I will have for my paines the greatest part of the profit . If I dig or plow and cast my Seed into the ground , I will expect the benefit of the Crop : If I plant or grasse , I should thinke I had but hard measure , if I should not feed vpon the fruit of my labour : By this consequence it is reason that a Bawd should reape where she hath sowne , and eate , and live vpon such fruit as shee hath planted .

To close up all , the Summe of all is this , I 'le end my Booke as Ovid ended his . So long as on the Poles the spangled firmament shall whirle , So long as Procreation shall beget a Boy or Girle , So long as winter shall be cold , or Summer shall be hot , So long as poverty and spight shall be true Vertues lot , When Phoebus in the West shall rise and in the East shall set , When children on ( their mothers ) their owne fathers shall beget ; Then shall this Booke , or Bawd lye dead , and never till that day , Shall Booke or Bawd , or Bawd or Booke , be scarse , if men will pay . Till Sun and Moone shall cease to shine , and all the World lye wast ; So long his booke , or else a Bawd , I 'me sure , so long shall last . FINIS .