Bulls
,
Mistakes
,
Clenches
,
Long
and
short
Tales
.
A
Tale
of
a
Bull
that
was
bought
instead
of
a
Cowe
.
IT
was
well
knowne
to
many
ancient
people
to
this
day
,
that
in
the
Citie
of
Gloucester
,
without
the
South
Gate
,
in
the
Parish
of
Saint
Ewins
,
(
where
my selfe
was
borne
)
there
dwelt
a
Schoolemaster
,
who
was
called
Master
Greene
,
to
whom
I
with
many
more
went
to
Schoole
,
for
some
small
learning
beyond
the
Horn-Booke
;
This
Master
Greene
did
love
new
milke
so
well
,
that
because
he
would
be
sure
to
have
it
new
,
he
would
buy
a
Cowe
of
his
owne
,
and
to
that
purpose
went
to
the
Beast
Market
,
but
by
the
way
having
met
with
some
friends
,
and
a
Cup
or
two
of
Sack
,
it
had
so
wrought
in
the
old
mans
pate
,
that
when
he
came
to
the
Beast-market
,
his
eyes
so
dazled
and
doated
on
a
faire
Bull
,
that
he
suppos'd
his
Cod
to
be
a
goodly
Cowes
Vdder
;
so
he
(
neither
naming
Cowe
or
Bull
)
demanded
the
price
of
the
Beast
,
till
at
the
last
the
Bull
was
bought
and
sold
,
and
driven
home
to
a
stable
of
Master
Greenes
,
who
being
glad
of
his
good
bargaine
,
told
his
wife
of
it
;
and
when
the
Evening
milking
time
was
come
,
Master
Greene
,
with
his
Wife
and
Maid
,
went
to
the
Stable
,
where
the
Wench
kneeling
downe
to
milke
,
and
taking
the
Bull
by
the
Cod
,
shee
said
shee
could
find
ne're
a
Teate
,
whereat
the
man
and
woman
were
amaz'd
;
and
the
Bull
(
for
his
owne
ease
)
instead
of
milke
,
pist
in
the
Paile
,
for
the
which
Master
Greene
was
ever
mockt
and
flouted
,
and
my selfe
(
with
my
Fellow
Schollers
)
to
shew
our
acute
forwardnesse
in
Rime
,
and
out
of
the
thallownesse
of
our
deepe
judgements
,
composed
this
poeticall
Enco
nium
.
Our
Master
Greene
,
was
overseene
,
In
buying
of
a
Bull
;
For
when
the
Maid
,
did
meane
to
milke
,
He
pist
the
Paile
halfe
full
-
probatum
.
Our
Schoolemaster
did
take
these
Verses
so
kindly
,
that
having
found
out
the
grave
Authors
of
them
;
he
(
to
expresse
,
or
declare
his
love
to
Poetry
)
gave
us
such
speedy
,
present
,
and
yet
backward
sure
payment
,
that
we
danc'd
at
it
,
and
were
so
merry
,
that
our
cheekes
ran
downe
with
water
.
Another
Tale
of
a
Towne
Bull.
A
Parson
of
a
Countrey
Village
(
for
the
encrease
of
Towne
Calves
)
kept
a
lusty
Bull
,
which
serv'd
for
the
use
of
the
whole
Parish
;
which
Bull
,
was
fallen
so
poor
and
leane
,
that
his
bones
might
have
been
almost
told
as
they
were
ready
to
start
out
of
his
skin
,
and
the
cold
Winter
being
come
,
the
miserable
Parson
put
the
Bull
to
graze
on
the
bare
ground
in
in
the
Churchyard
,
(
for
there
was
little
or
no
Grasse
)
and
there
was
also
a
Horse
of
the
Parsons
as
leane
as
the
Bull
,
which
fed
(
or
fasted
)
in
the
said
Churchyard
.
These
poore
Beasts
being
almost
starved
with
hunger
and
cold
,
and
the
hardnesse
of
their
Masters
heart
,
it
fortuned
that
in
a
very
darkenight
,
there
arose
a
very
violent
Tempest
of
wind
and
raine
,
so
that
the
Bull
for
succour
and
shelter
from
the
weather
,
went
into
the
Church
porch
,
and
there
lay
downe
and
dyed
with
cold
and
famine
.
The
Horse
likewise
(
having
the
like
purpose
to
get
out
of
the
storme
)
went
to
the
Church-porch
,
and
by
reason
it
was
so
darke
,
he
stumbled
over
the
dead
Bull
,
and
ran
his
head
against
the
Church
doore
,
which
was
so
old
and
broken
that
with
the
force
of
the
Horses
fall
,
it
flew
open
and
let
the
Horse
into
the
Church
,
who
recovering
his
legs
,
and
walking
up
and
downe
,
musing
where
he
was
,
at
the
last
he
came
to
the
Bell
Ropes
,
which
the
Countrey
people
that
used
to
Ring
,
had
(
for
the
ease
of
their
hands
)
made
wispes
,
or
wads
of
Hay
fast
round
about
the
hand-fasts
or
handles
of
the
Ropes
;
the
which
Hay
,
the
Horse
smelling
out
,
he
being
hungry
,
laid
lippes
to
,
and
pull'd
so
hard
at
the
Hay
,
that
the
Rope
gave
warning
to
the
Bell
,
and
the
Bell
to
the
Clapper
,
that
it
Rang
now
and
then
a
stroake
or
twain
,
which
the
Parson
hearing
,
he
marvelled
much
what
the
matter
should
be
,
or
who
should
jangle
the
Bels
so
confusedly
at
that
time
of
the
night
,
in
the
meane
space
the
Horse
goes
from
Rope
to
Rope
,
(
as
he
could
find
them
in
the
darke
)
which
caused
every
Bell
to
toll
in
an
untuned
Diapason
:
At
last
the
Parson
arose
,
and
called
up
the
Clerke
,
and
some
neighbours
,
and
lighted
their
Lanthornes
(
which
were
the
lighter
and
the
heavier
for
their
Candles
)
so
they
came
amazedly
and
fearefully
to
the
Churchyard
,
and
there
they
found
the
Bull
dead
in
the
Church-porch
,
and
the
Horse
in
the
Bell-frey
ringing
his
Knell
.
Although
there
be
no
impossibilitie
in
this
Tale
,
yet
I
am
not
guilty
of
the
beleefe
of
it
,
nor
am
I
bound
to
prove
it
.
Bulls
with
short
Tales
.
A
Taxation
,
or
levie
,
or
payment
was
laid
upon
a
Countrey
Village
,
for
the
repairing
or
mending
of
a
bad
high-way
,
against
the
which
collection
the
people
grumbled
and
murmur'd
very
much
;
So
that
one
of
the
most
grave
and
wise
of
he
Parish
,
said
to
the
Officers
that
gathered
the
money
,
I
tell
you
friends
,
if
these
kind
of
Bursements
and
elections
be
laid
thus
tollerably
upon
us
;
'
it
s
enough
to
make
folkes
mad
,
and
rise
in
devotion
.
A
Bull.
A
Fellow
going
from
London
towards
Rumford
in
Essex
,
before
he
came
at
Ilford
,
(
som
what
neer
the
highway
)
he
saw
the
carcases
of
three
murderers
hang'd
in
Chaines
,
and
at
his
returne
home
being
demaunded
what
newes
he
had
brought
out
of
the
countrey
;
Truely
(
quoth
he
)
I
have
no
great
newes
to
tell
you
,
but
I
saw
a
rare
sight
,
which
was
,
I
saw
three
men
hang'd
in
Iibblets
.
A
cleare
sighted
Bull.
ONe
met
a
man
in
the
street
,
taking
acquaintance
of
him
thus
,
Sir
,
I
am
a
stranger
,
and
am
mistaken
in
you
,
for
you
are
not
the
Gentleman
that
I
tooke
you
for
,
but
I
pray
you
pardon
me
,
for
I
am
sure
I
have
seene
you
by
sight
.
Mistakes
.
SOme
neighbours
being
at
hot
contention
,
for
a
matter
of
little
or
nothing
:
the
businesse
was
brought
before
a
Iustice
,
who
said
unto
them
,
My
good
neighbours
,
I
do
wish
you
to
agree
,
for
the
proverbe
sayes
truely
,
The
Law
is
costly
;
therefore
I
would
have
you
to
put
the
Controversie
to
me
,
and
I
will
set
all
differences
even
betwixt
you
;
Truly
Sir
,
said
one
,
I
do
humbly
thanke
your
worship
,
the
matter
concernes
my
wife
,
and
I
put
her
Case
to
your
Worship
withall
my
heart
;
in
truth
quoth
another
,
I
am
contented
,
I
am
willing
to
deferre
the
matter
to
your
Worships
discredit
.
A
Bull
of
authority
.
A
Major
of
a
Countrey
Towne
,
being
sate
with
the
rest
of
his
Brethren
,
in
the
Towne-house
began
to
make
a
grave
Oration
,
beginning
as
followeth
.
Brethren
,
friends
,
and
neighbours
,
I
am
in
good
hope
that
our
proceedings
will
be
to
a
good
purpose
,
because
we
are
so
happily
and
lovingly
seperated
together
amongst
our selves
.
A
shee
Bull.
A
Young
Shee
Citizen
borne
,
was
newly
married
,
having
never
in
her
life
been
a
Traveller
further
then
she
could
heare
the
sound
of
Bow-Bell
.
Her
Husband
(
on
a
time
)
went
with
her
into
the
Countrey
a
Ayring
,
whereas
they
were
going
thorow
a
meddow
,
there
was
a
Tree
,
upon
one
of
the
Boughes
whereof
a
Mole-catcher
had
hang'd
up
many
Moles
or
Wants
which
he
had
taken
,
which
the
young
woman
espying
,
shee
call'd
to
her
husband
,
saying
,
O
what
a
sollitary
life
it
is
to
live
in
the
Citie
,
where
no
such
fine
things
do
grow
as
are
heere
in
the
Countrey
,
for
looke
you
Husb
and
heere
is
a
Black-pudding
Tree
.
A
Roguish
Flash
.
A
Poore
man
was
going
to
the
Market
(
on
a
Saturday
)
to
buy
Beefe
,
he
having
a
Roguish
boy
to
his
sonne
,
the
boy
asked
him
whether
he
was
going
;
he
answered
,
I
am
going
to
the
Butchers
.
O
father
(
said
the
boy
)
the
Butchers
are
crafty
fellowes
,
and
if
you
take
not
heed
,
they
will
cosin
you
,
therefore
I
advise
you
to
take
the
Dog
with
you
,
for
two
heads
are
better
then
one
.
A
Flash
.
A
Neat
Gentleman
,
with
an
Ash
coulour
,
or
Silver
couloured
paire
of
silke
Stockings
,
going
hastily
through
the
gate
that
leads
into
the
Pallace
at
Westminster
,
suddenly
,
a
woman
(
or
maid
)
did
chance
to
cast
out
a
dish
or
pot
of
new-made
warme
water
,
some
tale
whereof
lighted
in
the
Gentlemans
shooes
,
and
withall
besparkled
his
silke
Stockings
;
at
which
,
very
angerly
he
said
,
Thou
filthy
base
sluttish
Queane
,
Canst
thou
not
see
,
but
throw
thy
stinking
pisse
into
my
shooes
and
hose
?
To
whom
she
answered
,
Sir
,
I
am
sorry
that
I
have
done
you
any
wrong
,
but
yet
you
have
done
me
a
great
deal
more
injury
then
I
have
done
to
you
,
for
I
would
have
you
know
,
that
I
am
no
such
Slut
as
you
call'd
me
,
neither
do
I
keep
pisse
till
it
stinkes
,
but
I
alwayes
throw
it
away
fresh
and
fresh
as
I
make
it
.
A
Bull.
TWo
Gentlemen
passing
up
the
River
of
Thames
,
with
a
paire
of
Oares
from
London-Bridge
towards
Westminster
,
one
of
the
Gentlemen
did
take
somewhat
in
distaste
,
that
one
of
the
Watermen
had
either
said
or
done
to
him
;
the
Waterman
did
intreat
him
not
to
be
angry
,
and
said
,
he
did
mean
no
harme
,
and
was
sorry
that
a
Gentleman
should
be
angry
for
nothing
;
but
the
more
the
one
did
entreat
,
the
more
furious
the
other
was
,
insomuch
that
he
said
to
the
Waterman
,
Sirra
,
hold
your
prating
,
for
I
vow
as
I
am
a
Gentleman
,
if
I
do
rise
and
come
to
thee
,
I
will
knocke
thy
head
and
the
wall
together
.
A
Clench
.
AN
old
man
had
sate
tipling
so
long
at
the
Ale-house
,
that
he
had
almost
gotten
a
Loafe
out
of
the
Brewers
Basket
,
and
having
an
unhappy
Boy
to
his
sonne
,
who
came
for
him
to
get
him
home
,
to
whom
the
old
man
said
,
Sirra
Boy
have
a
care
of
me
,
and
lead
me
well
,
for
my
head
is
very
light
;
to
whom
the
Boy
answered
,
Father
,
it
is
long
of
your
eyes
that
your
head
is
light
,
for
if
they
were
out
,
your
head
would
be
in
the
darke
.
A
Bull.
A
Gentleman
riding
in
the
Countrey
,
attended
with
one
Servingman
,
they
met
a
fellow
that
was
a
stride
upon
a
Cowe
,
the
Servingman
said
,
Master
behold
,
yonder
is
a
strange
sight
.
What
is
it
said
the
Gentleman
?
why
sir
(
said
his
man
)
looke
you
sir
,
there
is
one
Rides
on
Horseback
upon
a
Cowe
;
that
's
a
great
Bull
,
said
the
Gentleman
;
nay
sir
,
said
his
man
,
it
is
no
Bull
,
I
know
it
is
a
Cowe
by
his
Teats
.
A
Mistake
.
ONe
that
was
a
Good-fellow
upon
the
Score
so
farre
,
that
many
blacke
posts
did
proclaime
his
credit
in
sundry
Taverns
,
Ale
houses
,
and
Tobacco
shops
,
Chalk
was
the
Inke
,
to
remember
what
Ch●…n●…e
he
owed
for
his
Drinke
.
It
happened
,
that
his
braine
being
intoxicated
with
late
tipling
in
a
frosty
Winters
night
,
and
his
way
being
over
a
little
Close
from
the
Alehouse
to
his
owne
house
,
hee
perceiving
the
Grasse
all
milke-white
with
the
hoary
frost
;
at
which
sight
hee
merrily
said
to
one
that
went
with
him
,
Now
I
see
that
all
the
world
is
Chalk'd
,
and
my
Scores
will
never
be
seene
for
me
to
pay
them
.
A
Bull.
TWo
men
in
a
hot
Summer
Evening
,
stripped
themselves
out
of
their
Cloathes
,
to
swimme
or
wash
themselves
in
the
Thames
,
or
some
other
Brooke
or
River
;
and
having
(
as
they
thought
)
staid
overlong
in
the
water
,
one
of
them
said
,
Let
us
now
go
a
Shore
,
and
put
on
our
cloathes
,
for
it
is
time
to
go
home
.
The
other
answered
,
do
you
go
on
shore
first
,
I
will
but
unlose
a
point
,
and
come
to
you
presently
.
A
short
Bull.
ONe
said
,
that
the
best
Bull-dog
that
ever
he
saw
play
at
the
Beare
,
was
a
Brended
Bitch
.
A
Citie
Bull.
TWo
Citizens
,
having
been
making
merry
in
Middlesex
,
came
riding
homewards
through
a
Village
called
Acton
(
which
is
sixe
miles
from
London
)
and
perceiving
a
faire
house
,
with
the
doores
and
windowes
shut
,
one
of
them
said
,
it
was
great
pitty
that
such
a
handsome
building
should
want
an
inhabitant
;
to
whom
the
other
answered
,
you
say
true
brother
,
it
is
pitty
,
but
if
I
had
this
house
in
London
,
it
should
not
stand
empty
heere
.
A
Curtoll
Bull.
ONe
said
that
he
was
so
sows'd
and
dash'd
with
a
showre
of
Raine
,
that
he
had
ne're
a
dry
thred
wet
about
him
.
A
pretty
Bull.
ONe
was
perswaded
to
go
into
the
water
and
wash
himselfe
,
he
answered
that
it
was
dangerous
,
and
that
he
did
never
meane
to
go
into
any
River
,
or
other
water
,
before
he
had
first
learn'd
to
swimme
perfectly
.
A
Mistake
.
A
Man
departed
from
his
house
,
and
dwelling
privately
,
without
taking
leave
of
any
body
,
and
travell'd
,
so
that
it
was
not
knowne
to
any
what
was
become
of
him
,
at
last
there
was
a
supposition
that
he
was
kill'd
in
a
quarrell
by
a
mad
fellow
that
behaved
himselfe
so
well
,
that
few
honest
folkes
lov'd
him
.
This
fellow
was
apprehended
,
and
arraigned
at
the
Assises
for
suspition
of
the
fact
,
and
by
some
strong
presumptions
appeared
so
guilty
,
that
he
was
thought
fit
to
be
hang'd
,
and
after
a
yeares
imprisonment
,
he
went
abroad
now
and
then
(
with
the
leave
of
the
Iaylor
)
where
by
chance
he
met
the
man
that
was
supposed
to
be
slaine
by
him
;
whereupon
the
prisoner
got
his
liberty
:
who
comming
among
his
old
Consorts
,
he
said
,
My
Masters
,
I
have
endured
a
great
deale
of
trouble
about
killing
of
a
Rascall
,
and
nothing
grieves
me
so
much
,
as
that
I
met
the
Rogue
sixteene
moneths
after
in
Aylsbury
Market
.
A
Bull.
ONe
said
that
the
High
Sherife
of
Yorkeshire
did
entertaine
the
Iudges
in
a
brave
and
commendable
fashion
,
with
one
hundred
and
twenty
men
,
all
in
one
saire
Livery
of
Gray
Marble
.
Of
a
Fryer
.
A
Preaching
Fryer
once
reprooved
his
Auditors
for
sleeping
at
his
Sermons
,
but
yet
(
said
he
)
I
pray
you
do
not
refraine
comming
to
Church
though
you
doe
sleepe
,
for
God
Almighty
may
chance
to
take
some
of
you
napping
.
Of
a
Saylor
and
his
Wife
.
A
Saylor
was
absent
on
a
Voyage
three
yeeres
,
in
the
meane
space
his
Wife
had
a
Boy
,
twenty
moneths
old
,
to
entertaine
him
withall
at
his
returne
:
the
Saylor
said
,
Wife
,
whose
childe
is
this
:
marry
husband
(
quoth
she
)
it
is
mine
,
and
God
sent
it
me
in
your
absence
.
To
which
the
man
repli'd
,
I
will
keepe
this
child
,
because
God
sent
him
,
but
if
God
send
me
any
more
on
that
fashion
,
he
shall
keep
them
himselfe
.
A
witty
Tale
of
a
new
married
man
.
A
Young
fellow
being
newly
married
,
having
been
from
home
,
came
suddenly
into
his
house
,
and
found
his
Wife
at
foule
play
with
another
man
:
the
poor
young
Cuckold
ran
presently
and
told
his
wives
father
all
the
businesse
,
who
replyed
thus
;
Sonne
,
I
married
her
mother
,
and
I
tell
thee
plaine
that
thy
wife
seemes
to
be
her
daughter
in
conditions
as
well
as
feature
,
for
I
have
taken
her
mother
many
times
in
that
manner
,
and
no
warning
would
serve
her
,
till
in
the
end
age
made
her
leave
it
,
and
so
will
thy
wife
do
when
she
is
old
and
past
it
.
A
Tale
of
three
Gossips
,
that
would
know
,
Whereabouts
a
Cuckolds
hornes
do
grow
.
THree
Gossips
in
a
Tavern
,
chatting
over
a
Pint
of
Sherry
,
said
one
of
them
,
I
muse
whereabouts
a
Cuckolds
hornes
grow
;
quoth
the
second
,
I
think
they
do
grow
in
the
pole
,
or
nape
of
the
neck
;
verily
,
quoth
the
third
,
I
do
think
it
to
be
true
,
for
my
Husbands
bands
are
alwayes
worn
out
behind
.
Of
a
Whore
.
ONe
called
a
Whore
lazie
jade
,
content
your selfe
,
quoth
another
,
as
lazie
as
she
seemes
,
she
is
able
to
carry
a
man
quicke
to
the
Divell
.
Of
Cuckolds
.
A
Company
of
neighbours
that
dwelt
all
in
a
rowe
,
in
one
side
of
a
street
;
one
of
them
said
,
Let
us
be
merry
,
for
it
is
reported
that
we
are
all
Cuckolds
that
dwell
on
our
side
of
the
street
(
except
one
)
one
of
the
women
sate
musing
,
to
whom
her
husband
said
;
(
wife
)
what
all
a
mort
,
why
art
thou
so
sad
?
no
,
quoth
shee
,
I
am
not
sad
,
but
I
am
studying
which
of
our
neighbours
it
is
that
is
not
a
Cuckold
.
A
Clench
.
A
Gentleman
being
in
a
house
of
iniquitie
,
or
Cousin-German
to
a
Bawdy
house
,
the
roome
being
very
darke
,
he
called
alowd
for
a
light
Huswife
;
to
whom
a
Wench
made
answer
,
I
come
Incontinent
.
He
calls
for
light
,
she
under
stood
him
right
,
For
shee
was
vanity
which
made
her
light
:
She
said
she
would
incontinent
attend
,
To
make
her
Continent
,
she
needs
to
mend
.
A
Mistake
.
TWo
Maids
(
or
servants
)
dwelling
in
a
house
together
,
the
one
of
them
having
occasion
to
use
a
Steele
,
smoothing
Iron
,
or
some
such
kinde
of
Laundry
Instrument
,
and
having
sought
it
,
and
not
finding
it
,
said
to
her
fellow
,
thou
dost
mislay
every
thing
in
the
house
,
and
art
so
busie
a
baggage
that
thou
canst
let
nothing
stand
;
to
which
the
other
answered
,
and
you
are
so
way
ward
and
teasty
,
that
a
little
thing
troubles
you
,
and
puts
you
in
a
great
anger
.
A
Gentlewomans
answer
to
a
Captaine
.
IN
a
time
of
Peace
,
a
Captaine
being
in
company
,
where
after
dinner
there
was
dancing
,
with
whom
a
Gentlewoman
was
desirous
to
dance
,
the
Captaine
said
,
he
was
made
to
fight
,
and
not
to
dance
:
to
whom
she
answered
,
that
it
were
good
that
he
were
oil'd
and
hang'd
up
in
an
Armory
,
till
there
were
occasion
to
use
him
.
Of
a
Huffing
Gallant
ONe
asked
a
Huffing
Gallant
,
why
he
had
not
a
Looking-Glasse
in
his
Chamber
,
he
answered
,
he
durst
not
,
because
he
was
often
angry
,
and
then
he
look'd
so
terribly
,
that
he
was
fearefull
to
looke
upon
himselfe
.
Of
a
fellow
that
was
whipt
.
THere
was
a
fellow
that
(
not
for
his
goodnesse
)
was
whipt
at
a
Carts-tayle
;
and
in
his
execution
he
drew
backward
,
to
whom
a
Gentleman
(
in
pitty
)
said
,
Fellow
,
do
not
draw
back
,
but
presse
forward
,
and
thy
execution
and
paines
will
be
the
sooner
past
and
done
;
to
whom
the
Rogue
answered
,
It
is
my
turn
now
,
when
thou
art
whip'd
,
do
thou
go
as
thou
wilt
,
and
now
I
will
go
as
I
please
.
Beleeve
it
if
you
list
.
ONe
said
,
that
he
had
travaild
so
farre
that
he
had
laid
his
hand
upon
the
hole
where
the
wind
came
forth
:
a
second
said
,
that
he
had
bin
at
the
farthest
edge
of
the
world
,
and
driven
a
nayle
quite
thorow
it
:
the
third
repli'd
,
that
he
had
been
further
,
for
he
was
then
on
the
other
side
of
the
world
,
and
clencht
that
nayle
.
Of
a
Pope
.
THere
was
a
Pope
,
who
being
dead
,
it
is
said
that
he
came
to
heaven
gate
and
knock'd
;
Saint
Peter
(
being
within
the
Gate
)
asked
who
was
there
:
The
Pope
answered
,
Brother
,
it
is
I
,
I
am
the
last
Pope
deceased
;
Saint
Peter
said
,
if
thou
be
the
Pope
,
why
dost
thou
knocke
,
thou
having
the
Keyes
,
mayest
unlocke
the
gate
and
enter
?
The
Pope
replyed
,
saying
,
that
his
predecessors
had
the
Keyes
,
but
since
their
time
the
Wards
were
altered
.
A
Tale
betwixt
a
Miser
and
a
poore
Man
.
A
Rich
Miser
,
being
reviled
by
a
poore
man
,
whom
he
had
oppressed
;
the
rich
man
said
,
Thou
Dog
,
leave
thy
barking
:
the
poore
man
answered
,
that
he
had
one
quality
of
a
good
dog
,
which
was
,
to
barke
when
he
saw
a
Thiefe
.
An
unhappy
answer
of
a
Boy
to
his
father
playing
at
Dice
.
A
Man
being
deeply
in
play
at
Dice
,
having
lost
much
mony
,
his
son
(
a
little
lad
)
being
by
him
,
wept
;
quoth
the
father
,
Boy
,
why
dost
thou
weepe
?
the
Boy
answered
,
that
he
had
read
that
Alexander
the
Great
,
wept
when
he
heard
that
his
●…her
(
King
Philip
)
had
conquered
many
Cities
,
Townes
,
and
Territories
,
fearing
that
he
would
leave
him
nothing
ro
win
;
and
I
weepe
the
contrary
way
(
quoth
the
boy
)
for
I
feare
that
my
Father
will
leave
me
nothing
to
lose
.
Of
one
that
opprest
the
Poore
.
AN
Oppressor
having
feld
all
the
trees
in
a
Forrest
,
which
for
a
long
time
had
been
the
reliefe
of
many
poore
people
,
said
,
that
it
was
as
good
as
a
Comedy
to
him
to
see
the
trees
fall
;
to
whom
a
poore
man
said
,
I
hope
,
as
thou
makest
a
Comedy
of
our
miseries
,
that
three
of
those
trees
may
be
reserved
to
finish
a
Tragedy
for
thee
and
thy
children
.
Of
one
that
forgot
his
old
acquaintance
.
ONe
lamented
his
friends
hard
fortune
,
that
being
raised
to
a
place
of
honour
,
was
growne
senselesse
,
forgetting
all
his
old
familiar
acquaintance
,
and
so
far
from
knowing
any
man
,
that
he
knew
not
himselfe
.
Of
Instruments
and
Engines
.
THe
Plough
surpasseth
the
Pike
,
the
Harrow
excelleth
the
Halbert
,
the
Coulter
exceeds
the
Cuttleax
,
the
Goad
〈◊〉
better
then
the
Gunne
;
for
the
one
〈◊〉
are
the
Instruments
of
life
and
profit
,
and
the
other
are
the
Engines
of
death
,
and
all
kinds
of
calamities
.
Either
shame
,
or
hunger
.
A
Poore
man
is
in
two
extreames
:
first
,
if
he
aske
,
he
dyes
with
shame
;
secondly
,
if
he
aske
not
,
hee
dies
with
hunger
.
An
Officers
excuse
.
ONe
being
in
Office
,
was
reproved
for
negligence
;
his
excuse
was
,
that
it
was
his
best
policy
to
be
idle
:
for
if
hee
should
do
ill
,
he
should
displease
God
,
and
if
he
should
do
well
,
he
should
offend
men
:
〈◊〉
whom
one
answered
,
you
ought
to
do
●…our
dutie
,
for
in
well
doing
you
shall
●●ease
God
,
and
in
ill
doing
you
shall
●…lease
men
.
How
women
take
pleasure
to
be
sued
unto
.
WOmen
take
great
pleasure
to
be
to
be
sued
to
,
though
they
never
meane
to
grant
.
Of
Suites
in
Law
.
ONe
said
that
Suiters
in
Law
were
mortall
,
and
their
sure
immortall
and
that
there
is
more
profit
in
a
quicke
deniall
,
then
in
a
long
dispatch
.
Of
Rome
.
A
Traveller
was
talking
what
a
good
City
Rome
was
,
to
whom
one
of
the
company
said
,
that
all
Rome
was
not
Italy
for
we
had
too
much
Rome
in
England
.
Irish
wood
an
enemy
to
Caterpillars
.
A
Countrey
Fellow
came
into
Westminster
Hall
,
where
one
told
him
that
the
roofe
of
it
was
made
of
Irish
wood
,
and
that
the
nature
of
it
was
such
,
that
no
Spider
would
come
neere
it
,
and
he
said
(
further
)
that
in
Ireland
,
no
Toad
,
Snake
,
or
Caterpiller
can
live
,
but
that
the
Earth
,
or
the
Trees
will
destroy
them
:
Ah
(
quoth
the
Countrey
man
)
I
wish
with
all
my
heart
that
the
Benches
,
Barres
and
Flooring
were
all
made
of
such
earth
and
wood
,
and
that
all
Coaches
,
Barges
,
and
Wherries
,
were
made
of
Irish
Oake
,
that
all
our
English
Caterpillers
might
be
destroyed
.
Thomas
Coriat's
complaint
of
Iohn
Taylor
.
MAster
Thomas
Coriat
(
on
a
time
)
complained
against
me
to
King
Iames
,
desiring
His
Majestie
that
he
would
cause
some
heavie
punishment
to
be
inflicted
upon
me
,
for
abusing
him
in
writing
(
as
he
said
I
had
)
to
whom
the
King
replide
,
that
when
the
Lords
of
His
Honourable
Privie
Councell
had
leisure
,
and
nothing
else
to
do
,
then
they
should
heare
and
determine
the
differences
betwixt
Master
Coriat
the
Scholler
,
and
Iohn
Taylor
the
Sculler
:
which
answer
of
the
King
was
very
acceptable
to
Master
Coriat
.
Whereupon
I
made
this
following
Petition
to
the
King
.