The praise, antiquity, and commodity, of beggery, beggers, and begging. Iohn Taylor

THE PRAISE , ANTIQVITY , AND COMMODITY of Beggerie , Beggers , and Begging . A Begger from an Antient house begins , Antiquity of Beggers . Old Adams soone , and heire vnto his sins : And as our father Adam did possesse The world , Vniuersality . there 's not a Begger that hath lesse . For whereof is the world compact and fram'd But Elements , which to our fence are nam'd , The Earth , the Ayre , the Water , and the Fire , With which all liue , without which all-expire . These , euery Begger hath in plenteous store , And euery mighty Monarch hath no more . Nor can the greatest Potentate aliue , The meanest Begger of these things depriue . The Earth is common , Earth . both for birth or Graues , For Kings , and Beggers , Free-men , and for Slaues : And a poore Begger as much Ayre will draw , Ayre . As he that could keepe all the world in awe . The Water , Water . be it Riuers , Seas , or Spring , 'T is equall for a Begger as a King . And the Celestiall Sunne 's bright fire , Fire . from Heauen 'Mongst all estates most equally is giuen . If these elements could bee bought and solde , the poore beggers should haue small roome for birth , life , or buriall . Giu'n , not to be ingrost , or bought , not sold , For gifts and bribes , or base corrupting gold . These things nor poore or rich , can sell nor buy , Free for all liuing creatures , till they dye . An Emperour , a great command doth beate ; But yet a Begger 's more secure from feare . A King may vse disports ( as fits the season ) But yet a Begger is more safe from Treason . A Prince ( amidst his cares ) may merry be , But yet a Begger is from flatt'rers free . A Duke , is a degree magnificent , But yet a Begger may haue more content . A Marquesse , is a title of great fame , A Begger may offend more , with lesse blame . An Earle , an honourable house may keepe , But yet a begger may more soundly sleepe . A Vizecoune may be honour'd and renound , But yet a begger 's on a surer ground . A Barron , is a Stile belou'd and Noble , But yet a begger is more stee from troble . A Knight , is good ( if his deserts be such ) But yet a begger may not owe so much . A good Esquire is worthy of respect , A begger 's in lesse care , though more neglect . A Gentleman , may good apparell weare , A begger , from the Mercers booke is cleare . A Seruing-man that 's young , in older yeares Oft proues an aged begger , it appeares . Thus all degrees and states , what o're they are , With beggers happinesse cannot compare Heau'n is the roofe that Canopies his head , The cloudes his Curtaines , and the earth his bed , The Sunne his fire , the Starre's his candle light , The Moone his Lampe that guides him in the night . When scorching Sol makes other mortals sweat , Each tree doth shade a begger from his heat : When nipping Winter makes the Cow to quake , A begger will a Barne for harbour take , When Trees and Steeples are o're-turn'd with winde , A begger will a hedge for shelter finde : And though his inconueniences are store , Yet still he hath a salue for eu'ry sore , He for new fashions , owes the Tayler nothing , Nor to the Draper is in debt for cloathing : A begger , doth not begger or deceaue Others , by breaking like a bankerupt Knaue . He 's free from shoulder-clapping Sergeants clawes , He 's out offeare of Enuies canker'd iawes : He liues in such a safe and happy state , That he is neither hated , nor doth hate . None beares him malice , rancour , or despight , And he dares kill , those that dare him back-bite . Credit he neither hath or giues to none , All times and seasons , vnto him are one : He longs not for , or feares a quarter day , For Rent he neither doth receiue or pay . Let Nation against Nation warres denounce , Let Cannons thunder , and let Muskets bounce : Let armies , armies , force 'gainst force oppose , He nothing feares , nor nothing hath to lose . Let Townes and Towres with batt'ry be o're-turn'd , Let women be deflowr'd and houses burn'd : Let men sight pell-mell , and loose life and lim , If earth and skies-escafe , all 's one to him . O happy begg'ry , euery liberall Art Hath left the thanklesse world , and takes thy part : And learning , conscience , and simplicity , Plaine dealing , and true perfect honesty , Sweet Poetry , and high Astronomy , Musickes delightfull heau'nly harmony , All these ( with begg'ry ) most assuredly Haue made a friendly league to liue and dye . For Fortune hath decreed , and holds it fit , Not to giue one man conscience , wealth , and wit : For they are portions which to twaine belong , And to giue all to one were double wrong , Wit , wisedom , wealth , and conscience , are not vsually heredetary , or in one man . Therefore although the Goddesse want her eyes , Yet in her blinded bounty she is wise . I will not say , but wealth and wisedome are In one , ten , or in more , but 't is most rare : And such men are to be in peace or warres , Admir'd like black Swans , or like blazing Starres . Two sorts of people fills the whole world full , The witty Begger , and the wealthy Gull : A Scholler , stor'd with Ares , with not one crosse , And Artlesse Naball stor'd with Indian drosse . I haue seene learning tatter'd , bare and poore , Whil'st Barbarisme hath domineerd with store : I haue knowne knowledge , in but meane regard , Whil'st Ignorance hath rob'd it of reward : And witlesse Coxcombs , I haue heard dispute , Whil'st profound Indgements must be dumb and mute . Apollo , with aduice did wisely grant , That Poets should be poore , and line in want : And though plaine Beggers they doe not appeare , Yet their estates doth shew their kin is neere . The barrennesse of Parnassus . Parnassus Mount is fruitlesse , bare and sterill , And all the Muses poore in their apparell : Bare legg'd , and footed , with disheuel'd haire , Nor Buskins , Shooes , or Head-tires for to weare . So farre they are from any shew of thrist , They scarce haue e're a smock themselues to shift . Homer , that was the Prince of Poetry , Was a blinde Begger , and in pouerty : The pouerty or beggery of the Muses . And matchlesse Ouid , ( in poore wretched case ) Exil'd from Rome to Pontus in disgrace . And Maniun Maro , * * Virgill , hee was borne in a ditch , and afterward being in Rome in seruice with Augustus Caesar , to whom hee many times gaue learned verses , and the Emperour alwayes rewarded him with bread . A Lowse the ground of the first Hexameters . for some space in Rome , Was to Augustus but a Stable Groome : His verses shew he had a learned head , Yet all his profit was but bread and bread . A Lowse hath sixe feete , from whose creeping sprawl'd The first Hexameters , the euer crawl'd : And euer since , in mem'ry of the same , A Lowse amongst the Learned is no shame . Then since the * * Parnassus . mountaines barren Muses bare , And Prince of Poets had ae Beggers share : Since their blinde Soueraigne was a Begger poore , How can the Subiects but be voyd of store ? What are their figures , numbers , types and tropes , But Emblems of poore shadowes , and vaine hopes . Their allegories , similies , allusions , Threed-bare , doe end in beggerly conclusions : Nor can their Comedies and Tragedies , Their Comitragy , Traggecomedies , No pastorall preterplupastorall , Their Morall studies , and Historicall , Their sharp I-ambick , high Heroick Saphique , And all where with their painefull studies traffique : All these cannot allow a meanes compleate To keepe them out of Debt with Clothes and meate . And though a Poet have th' accomplish'd partes Of Learning , and the Axiomes of all Artes : What though he study all his braines to dust , To make his Fame Immortall , and not rust , Reuoluing day by day and night by night , And waste himselfe in giuing others light , Yet this is all the Guerdon he shall haue , That begg'ry will attend him his Graue . He ( in his owne Conceit ) may haue this blisse , And sing , My minde to me a Kingdome is . But 't is a Kingdome wanting forme or matter , Or substance , like the Moonshine in the water . For as a learned * * Chris. Marlo . Poet wrote before , Grosse Golde runnes headlong from them , to the Bore ; For which this vnauoyded Vow I le make , To loue a Begger for Poets sake . I that ne're dranke of Agganippes Well , That in Parnissus Suburbes scarce doe dwell , That neuer tasted the Pegassiar Spring , Or Tempe , nor e'reheard the Muses sing , I ( that in Vearse ) can onely Rime and matter Quite from the purpose , Method , or the matter . Yet some for friendship , Ignorance , or pitty Will say my lines may passe , indifferent , pritty : And for this little , Itching , Vearsing vaine , With me the Begger vowes he will remaine . But if I could but once true Poetry win , He would sticke close to me , as is my Skin . And sure if any man beneath the Sky , Had to his Nurse a Witch , it must be I , For I remember many yeares agoe , When I would Cry , as Children vse to doe : My Nurse to still me , or to make me cease From crying would say hush lambe , prey thee peace . But I ( like many youth or froward boyes ) Would yaule , and baule , and make a wewling noyse Then shee ( in anger ) in her armes would snatch me , And bid the Begger , or bulbegger catch me , With take him Begger , take him would she say , Then did the Begger such hard hold fast lay Vpon my backe , that yet I neuer could Nor euer shall in force him leaue his holde The reason therefore why I am not Rich I thinke is , cause my Nurse was halfe a witch . But since it is decreed that I must be A begger , welcome begg'ry vnto me : I le patiently embrace my destir'd Fate And liue as well on some of higher Rate . Yet shall my begg'ry no strange Suites deuise As Monopolies to catch Fleas or Flyes : Or the Sole making of all Bleachers prickes , Or Corkes for bottles , or for euery sixe Smelt , Seacrab , Flounder , Playee or Whiting mop , One , as a Duty vnto me to drop Nor to marke Cheeses , I le not beg at all , Nor for the Mouse trap Geometricall . Nor will I impudently beg for I and , Nor ( with Ambition ) beg to haue Command : Or meate , or cloathes , or that which few men giue , I le neuer beg for money whilst I liue . Yet money I esteeme a precious thing , Because it beares and picture of my King : Vnto my King I will a seruant be , And make his pictures seruants vnto men . One onely Begg'ry euer I 'le embrace , I le beg for grace , of him that can give grace , Who all thinges feedes and fils , and ouer-seeth Who giues , and casteth no man in the teeth . So much for that , now on my Theame againe , What vertues Begg'ry still doth entertaine . First amongst Beggers , there 's not one in twenty , But hath the Art of memory most plenty : When those that are possest with riches store ( If e're they were in Beggers state and poore ) They quite forget it , and will euer hate The memory of any Beggers state . For fortune , fauour , or benignity , May rayse a Begger vnto Dignity : When like a bladder , puft with pride and pelfe , Hee 'l neither know his betters , nor himselfe , But if a Begger hath bin wealthy euer , He from his minde puts that remembrance neuer . And thus if it be Rightly vnderstood , A beggers Memory is euer good . Nor he by Gluttony , or swimish surfet , Doth purchase Sicknes with his bodies forfeit . On bonds or bills , he borrowes not , or lends , He neither by extortion gets or spends . No Vsury he neither takes or gines : Oppresse he cannot , yet opprest he liues . Nor when he dyes , he leaues no wrangling heyres To lose by Law that which was his or theirs Men that are blinde in iudgement may see this Which of the Rich , or Beggers hath to oft blisse : On which most pleasure , Fortune seemes to hurle , The Lowsie begger , or the gowty Churle : The Ragged begger sitting in the Stocks , Or the Embrodered Gallant with the Pocks . A Begger euery way is Adams Son , For in a Garden Adam first begun : And so a Begger euen from his birth , Doth make his Garden the whole entire Earth . The fieldes of Corne doth yeeld him straw and bread To Feed and Lodge , and Hat to hide his head : And in the stead of Cut-throat slaughtering Shambles , Each Hedge allowes him Berryes from the brambles . The Bullesse , hedge Peake , Hips and Hawes , and Sloes , Attends his appetite where e're he goes : As for his Sallets , better neuer was , Then acute Sorrell , and sweet three leau'd Grasse , And as for Sawce he seldome is at Charges For euery Crabtree doth affoord them Vergis . His banket , somtimes is greene Beanes and Peason , Nuts , Peares , Plumbes , Apples , as they are in season . His musicke waytes on him in euery bush , The Mauis , Bulfinch , Blackbird and the Thrush : The mounting Larke , sings in the lofty Sky , And Robin Redbrest makes him melody . The Nightingale chants most melodiously , The chirping Sparrow , and the chattering Pye . My neighbour Cuckow , alwayes in one tune , Sings like a Townsman still in May and Iune . These feather'd Fidlers , sing , and leape and play , The begger takes delight , and God doth pay . Moreouer ( to accomplish his Content ) There 's nothing wants to please his sight or sent . The Earth embrodered with the various hew Of Greene , Red , Yellow , Purple , Watchet , Blew : Carnation , Crimson , Damaske , spotles White , And euery colour that may please the sight . The odoriserous Mint , the Eglantine , The Woodbine , Primrose , and the Cowslip fine . The Honisuckle , and the Daffadill , The fragrant Time , delights the Begger still . He may plucke Violets in any place And Rue , but very seldome hearbe of Grace : Hearts-ease he hath and Loue and Idle both , It in his bones hath a continuall growth . His Drinke he neuer doth goe farre to looke , Each Spring 's his Host , his Hostesse is each Brooke : Where he may quaffe and too 't againe by fits , And neuer stand in feare to hurt his wits , For why that Ale , is Grandam Natures brewing , And very seldome sets her Guests a spewing ; Vnmixt , and vnsophisticated drinke , That neuer makes men stagger , reele and winke . Besides a begger hath this pleasure more , He neuer payes , or neuer goes on score : But let him drinke and quaffe both night and day , Ther 's neither Chalke , nor Post , or ought to pay . But after all this single-soal'd small Ale , I thinke it best to tell a merry tale : There was a Rich hard miserable Lord , That kept a knauish Foole at bed and boord , ( As Great men oft affected haue such Elues . And lou'd a Foole , as they haue lou'd themselues . ) But Nature to this Foole such vertue gaue , Two simples in one Compound , Foole and Knaue . This Noble Lord , Ignobly did oppresse His Tenants , raising Rents to such excesse : That they their states not able to maintaine , They turn'd starke beggers in a yeare or twaine . Yet though this Lord were too too miserable , He in his House kept a well furnish'd Table : Great store of Beggers dayly at his Gate , Which he did feed , and much Compassionate . ( For 't is within the power of mighty men To make fiue hundred Beggers , and feed Ten. At last , vpon a time the Lord and 's Foole , Walk'd after Dinner their hot bloods to coole , And seeing three or foure score Beggers stand To seeke Reliefe from his hard Clutched hand , The Nobleman thus spake his Foole vnto , Quoth he , what shall I with these Beggers doe ? Since ( quoth the Foole ) you for my Iudgement call , I thinke it best we straight wayes hang them all . That were great pitty , then the Lord reply'd For them and me our Sauiour equall dy'd : Th' are Christians ( although beggers ) therefore yet Hanging 's vncharitable , and vnsit . Tush ( said the Foole ) they are but beggers thoe , And thou canst spare them , therefore let them goe : If thou wilt doe , as thou hast done before , Thou canst in one yeare make as many more . And he that can picke nothing from this tale , Then let him with the begger drinke small Ale . Thus is a Begger a strange kinde of creature , And begg'ry is an Art that liues by Nature : For he neglects all Trades , all Occupations , All functions , Mysteries , Artes , and Corporations . Hee 's his owne Law , and doth euen what he lift . And is a persit right Gimnosophist . A Phylosophicall Pithagoras , That without care his life away doth passe . A Begger neuer growes mad with too much study . A Lawyer must for what he gets take paines , And study night and day , and toyle his braines , With diligence to sift out Right from Wrong , Writes , trauels , pleades , with hands , and feet , and tong . And for to end Debate , doth oft debate With Rhetoricke , and Logicke Intricate : And after all his trauell and his toyle , If that part which he pleads for get the foyle , The Clyent blames the Lawyer , and the Lawes , And neuer mindes the badnes of his Cause . T is better with a Begger that is Dumbe , Whose tongue-lesse mouth doth onely vtter mum : In study , and in care , no time he spends , Dumbe Rhetorick moues Charity . And hath his busines at his finger ends . And with dumbe Rhetoricke , and with Logicke mute , Liues and gaines more , then many that Dispute . If case a Begger be olde , weake or Ill , The weake Begger haue a great aduantage over the strong . It makes his gaines , and commings in more still ; When beggers that are strong , are paide with mocks , Or threatned with the Cage , the Whip , or Stocks . Hee 's better borne then any Prince or Peere , In 's Mothers wombe three quarters of a yeare : Beggers ( for th' most part well borne . And when his birth hath made her belly slacke , Shee foure or fiue yeares beares him at her backe , He liues as if it were Grim Saturnes Raigne , Or as the Golden age were come againe . Moreouer many vertues doe attend Virtues that Beggers haue On Beggers , and on them doe they depend : Humility's a Vertue , Humility . and they are In signe of Humblenes , continuall bare : And Patience is a vertue of great worth , Patience . Which any begger much expresseth forth , I saw a Begger Rayl'd at , yet stood mute , Before a Beadle , of but base Repute . For Fortitude a begger doth excell , Fortitude . There 's nothing can his valiant courage quell : Nor heate or colde , thirst , hunger , Famines rage , He dares out-dare Stocks , whipping-posts , or Cage . Hee 's of the greatest Temperance vnder heauen , Temperance . And ( for the most part ) seeds on what is giuen . He waytes vpon a Lady , of high price , Whose birth-place was Coelestiall paradice . One of the Graces , a most heauenly Dame , And Charity 's her all admired Name : It waytes on Charity a worthy bountiful Mistres . Her hand 's ne're shut , her glory is in giuing , On her the Begger waytes , and gets his liuing . Antiquity . His State 's more ancient then a Gentleman , It from the Elder brother ( Caine ) began : Beggery descended from Caine , who was the first man that euer was borne , & heire apparant to the whole world . Of Runagates and vagabonds hee was The first that wandring o're the earth did passe . But what 's a Vagabond and a Runagate ? True Annagramatiz'd I will relate : RVNAGATE , Annagram , AGRANTE . VAGABONDE , Annagram , GAVE A BOND . And many well borne Gallants , mad and fond , Haue with a Graunt so often Gaue a Bond. And wrap'd their states so in a Parchment skin , They Vagabonds and Runagates haue bin . Honour A begger 's nob'ly borne , all men will yeeld , His getting , and his birth b'ing in the field : And all the world knowes 't is no idle fable , To say and sweare the field is honourable . Curtesie . A begger is most courteous when he begges , And hath an excellent skill in making legges : But if he could make Armes but halfe so well , Security . For Herauldry his cunning would excell . A begger in great safety doth remaine , He 's out of danger to be rob'd or slaine : In feare and perill he is neuer put , And ( for his wealth ) no thiefe his throat will cut . Bounty . He 's farre more bountifull then is Lord , A world of hangers on at bed and boord : Which he doth lodge , and daily cloath and feed , Them and their Issue , that encrease and breed ; Power . For 't is disparagement , and open wrong , To say a begger 's not a thousand strong : Frugality . Yet haue I seene a begger with his Many , Come in at a Play-house , all in for one penny . And though of creatures Lice are almost least , Yet is a Lowse a very valiant beast . But did not strength vnto her courage want , She would kill Lyon , Beare , or Elephant . What is it that she can but she dares do , She 'le combate with a King , and stand to 't to : She 's not a starter like the dust-bred-Flea , She 's a great trauailer by land and sea , And dares take any Lady by the Rea. She neuer from a battell yet did flye , For with a Souldier she will line and dye . And sure ( I thinke ) I said not much amis , To say a Lowse her selfe a souldier is . An Hoast of Lice did to submission bring Hard-harted Pharoh the Egyptian King . But when these cruell creatures doe want meate , Mans flesh and blood like Canibals they eate . They are vnto the begger Natures gifts , Who very seldome puts them to their shifts . A Begger is no shifting fellow . True friendship These are his Guard , which will not him forsake , Till Death course doth of his carkasse make . A begger liues here in this vale of sorrow , And trauels here to day , and there tomorrow . The next day being neither here , nor there : But almost no where , and yet euery where . Beggers are trauellers . He neuer labours , yet he doth expresse Himselfe an enemie to Idlenesse . He is seldom idle , though hee neuer works . In Court , Campe , Citie , Countrey , in the Ocean A begger is a right : perpetuall motion , His great deuotion is in generall , He either prayes for all , or preyes on all . Deuotion . And it is vniuersally profest , Vniuersality . From South to North , from East vnto the West . On his owne merits he will not relie , He is a louer of good works . By others mens good works he 'le line and die . That begg'ry is most nat'rall all men know , Our naked comming to the world doth show : Peggery is naturall , and generall to all the world . Not worth a simple rotten ragge , or clout , Our seely earkasses to wrap about . That it will is , and hath perpetuall bin , Beggery is perpetual . All goe as naked out , as they came in , We leaue our cloathes , which were our couers here , For Beggers that come after vs to weare . The generality of beggerie . Thus all the world in generall beggers are , And all alike comes in , and goes out bare . It is most necessary for euery one to liue and dye a Begger . And who so liues here in the best degree , Must ( euery day ) a daily begger bee : And when his life hath runne vnto his date , He dies a begger , or a reprobate . ( Good Reader , pray misconster not this case , I meane no profanation in this place ) Then since these vertues waite on beggery , As milde Humility , and Charity , With Patience , Fortitude , and Courtesie , And Temp'rance , Honour , Health , Frugality , Security , Vniuersality , Necessity , and Perpetuity , And since heau'n sends the Subiect and the Prince All Beggers hither , and no better hence , Since begg'ry is our portion , and our lot , Our Patrimony , birth-right , and what not : Let vs pursue our function , let vs do That ( which by nature ) we were borne vnto . And whil'st my Muse a little doth repose , I 'le Character a Begger out in prose .

Now it followes , that I shew some part of their formes , cariage , manners , and behauiour , their seuerall Garbs , tones , and salutations that they acost their Clyents or Benefactours withall , for they can wisely , and discreetely suite their Phrase and language , to bee correspondent to their owne shape , and suteable to whomsoeuer they begge of , as for example suppose a Begger hee in the shape or forme of a maundering , or wandering Souldier , with one arme , leg or eye , or some such maim ; then imagine that there passeth by him some Lord , Knigt , or scarce a Gentleman , it makes no matter which , then his Honour or his Worship shall be affronted in this manner :

Braue man of Honour , cast a fauourable looke vpon the wounded estate of a distressed Gentleman , that hath borne Armes for his Countrey in the hottest broyles of the Netherlands , with the losse of his members ; Cleueland hath felt my strength ; I haue bickered with the French , at Brest & Deep ; I haue past the Straights , the dangerous Gulph : the Groyne can speake my seruice ( Right Honorable ) with no lesse then two dangerous hurts hardly brought off from Bummil Leaguer , which I would vnwillinly discouer to your manliness , whose beliefe shall be therein as much auailable as eye sight . Fortune hath onely left me a tongue to bemone my losses , and one eye to be witnesse of your noble bountie ; I would be loth to weary your Lordship with the relations of my trauels , to whom the storie of these warres are as familiar as to my self ; your worthy liberalitie is the spurre to valour , and the sauegard of his country ; and in your honorable memorie my tong shall supplys the defects of my limbes , and proclaime your merit through the 17 Prouinces , whither your bountie shall beare this witherd bodie , to interre it with the bloud which I left there as a pledge of my returne .

This is the martiall or decaied military kind of begging ; which if he speed , then he can fit himselfe with a prayer accordingly , for the prosperitie of his liberall benefactor , as thus :

Peace be to thy loines ( Right honourable ) and plentie at thy board , oppression in the country , and extortion in the citie , embroder thy carkas , and keepe thy Concubine constant , that Taylers may sue to thee for worke , more then for paiment , and Sericants may stand and gaze at thy faire progresse by the Compters , whist thy coach mares shall whurrie thee free from Attachments .

Then ( after a scrub or shrug ) you must conceiue that he meetes with a Lawyer , and fitting his phrase to his language , he assaults him thus , and ioynes issue .

Humbly sheweth to your good Worship , your poore suppliant hauing aduanced his bill in the late warres of Sweaden Copenhage , and Stock Holland ; after Replications in particular , and Reiovnders drawne , with bloudy pens and dreadfull characters , your petitioner ioyned issue in that fearfull day of hearing , at the grand castle of Smolesco , where he came off with the losse of his inheritance , hauing the euidence of his limbes violently rent from him , to make open passage to the beneuolent charitie of such of such pious persons as is your good worship ; for you are the true souldiers of the country , whose warres concerne the domestique peace of our nation , as such as my selfe doth the forreine . My breeding was Gentle , Sir , and my birth English , a younger brother , driuen to my shifts , to auoide the soule accidents of home-bred miseries ; I measured forrein paces , and was deliuerd abroad of my breeding at home , in which estate the hand of your bountie must support me , or else calamitie will crawle euer me , which hath no Surgeon but the gallowes , to which I hope the Law will not deliuer me , seeing it carries so faire a face as the reuerend aspect of your maisterships countenance .

By this time you must suppose that his bount being awak'd he giues him somewhat ; when with a correspondent prayer he thus takes his benevale .

May the Termes be euerlasting to thee , thou man of tong , and may contentions grow and multiply , may Actions beget Actions , and Cases engender Cases as thicke as hops , may euery day of the yeare be a Shroue tuesday ; let Proclamations forbid fighting , to increase actions of battry , that thy Cassock may be three pilde , and the welts of thy gowne may not grow thread bare .

Perhaps he meetes with some countrey Farmer , or some honest Russet home-spun plaine-dealing plowiogger , whom he assaults with a volley of lyes and brauadoes , in maner and forme following .

You shall do well to take notice ( countryman and friend ) that I am a souldier and a gentleman , who hauing bin made Fortunes tennis ball , was lately cast vpon these coasts of my country by the mercilesse crueltie of the raging tempestuous seas , where I haue bin in that distresse that the whole Christian world durst not so much as looke on : mine Armes hath bin feared by all the enemies that euer beheld them aduanc'd , and my command hath bin dreadfull through Europe , Asia , Africa and America , from the Suns Easterne rising to his Westerne declination . I was the first man that entred ( despight the mouth of the cannon ) into the famous city of Portrega , a citie fiue times greater then Constantinople , where the great Turke then kept his Seraglio , Basha Caphy , Basha Indae , and Mustapha Despot of Seruia being my prisoners , whose ransomes yeelded my sword three millions of Hungarian duckets ; with which returning , thinking to make thee and the rest of my nation rich , the ship which transported me ( being ouerladen ) tooke such a leake that she sunke , not a mortall eye being able to see one pennie of that vncountable treasure , my selfe ( as you see preserued ) a miserable spectacle of vnfortunate chance , for getting astride vpon a demyculuering of brasse , I was weather-beaten three leagues ; on shore , as you see , an ominous map of manquelling calamitie , to the reliefe whereof , my fellow and friend , ( for so my now pouertie makes me vouchsafe to call thee ) I must intreat thy manhood , by offering a parcell of thy substance ; make no delayes , Sir , for I would be loth to exercise my valour on thee , and make thee the first Christian that should feele the impregnable strength and vigour of my victorious arm , which hath done to death so many Turkes , Pagans and Infidels as cannot truly be numbred .

After all this superfluous fustian , the poore man vnwillingly drawes and giues him some small mite , more for feare or lying , then either for loue or charitie . His fury being abated , he takes his leaue thus :

Faire be thy Haruest , and foule thy winter , that plentie may fil thy barnes , and feare of scarcitie raise thy price , may thy Landlord liue vnmarried , that thy fine may not be raisde , to buy thy new Landladie a French petlicoate or a new Blocke Beauer , nor thy rents raisde to keepe her tire in fashion .

INuention many thousand waies could go , To shew their variations to and fro : A Iustice of peace is as the world to a begger , a Beadle as the flesh , and a Constable as the diveil . For as vpon the soule of man attends , The world , the flesh , the diuell , ( three wicked friends ) So likewise hath a begger other three , With whom his humour neuer could agree . A Iustice , to the world he doth compare , A Iustice will wink or conniue at a beggers faults often , partly for pity , & partly to a cold trouble And for his flesh , a Beadle is a snare : But he that he of all accounts most euill , He thinks a Constable to be the deuill . And 't is as easie for him as to drinke , To blind the world , and make a Iustice winke : The Beadle ( for the flesh ) ' is little paine , A whipping wil be looue cured . Which smart he can recouer soone againe . But yet the Diuells ( the Constable ) a spirit , From hole to hole that hunts him like a ferrit , Both day and night he haunts him as a ghost , A Constable in a Bugbeare to a begger . And of all furies he torments him most . All 's one for that , though some things fa'l out ill , A begger seldome rides vp Holborne hill : Nor is he taken with a theeuish trap , And made dispute with Doctors Stories * * Sybutae cap. A common theefe , for euery groute he gaines , His life doth venture , besides all his paines : For euery thing he eates , or drinkes , or weares , To lose his eares , or gaine a rope he feares . But for a begger , be it hee or shee , They are from all these choaking dangers free . And though ( for sinne ) when mankind first began , A curse was laid on all the race of man , That of his labours he should liue and eate , And get his bread by trauell and by sweate : But if that any from this curse be free , A begger must he be , and none but he . For euery foole most certainly doth know , A begger doth not dig , delue , plow , or sow : He neither harrowes , plants , lops , fels , nor rakes , Nor any way he paines or labour takes . Let swine be meazeld , let sheepe die and rot , Let moraine kill the cattell , he cares not : He will not worke and sweat , and yet hee 'l feed , And each mans labour must supply his need . Thus without paines of care , his life hee 'l spend , And liues vntill he dies , and there 's an end . But I this reekning do of beggry make , That it much better is to giue then take : Yet if my substance will not serue to giue , Lie ( of my betters ) take , with thankes , and liue . FINIS .