Taylors farevvell, to the Tovver-bottles

TAYLORS Farewell , to the Tower-Bottles . BY your leaue Gentlemen , I le make some sport , Although I venture halfe a hanging for 't : But yet I will no peace or manners breake For I to none but Leather-bottles speak . No Anger spurres me forward , or despight In smooth plaine Verse I talke of wrong and Right . The Looser may speake , when the Winner wins , And madly merrily my Muse begins . Mad Bedlam Tom , assist me in thy Rags , Lend me thy Army of foule Feinds and Hags : Hobgoblins , Elues , faire Fayries , and foule Furies , Let me haue twelue Groce of Infernall Iuries , With Robin Goodfellow , and bloody Bone Assist my merry Muse , all , euery one . I will not call to the a a The 9. Muses Pegassian Nine , In this they shall not ayde me in a Line : Their fauours I le reserue , till fitter time , To grace some better busines with my Rime , Plaine home-spun stuffe shall now proceed from me , Much like vnto the Picture of b b The picture of 2. fooles , & the third looking on , I doe ficly compare with the two black Bottles and my selfe . wee Three . And now I talke of three , iust three we are , Two false blacke Bottles , and my selfe at jarre , And Reader when you reade our cause of strife , You 'le laugh or else lye downe , He lay my life , But as Remembrance lamely can rehearse , In sport I le rip the matter vp in Verse . Yet first , heere downe I thinke it fit to set By what meanes first , I with those Bottles met . Then stroake your Beards my Masters , and giue care , I was a Waterman twice Foure long yeare , And liu'd in a Contented happy state , Then turn'd the whirling wheele of fickle Fate , From Water vnto Wine : Sir William Waad Did freely , and for nothing turne my trade . Ten yeares almost the place I did Retaine , And c c I fill'd the 2 bottles , being in quantity 6. Gallons from euery Ship that brought Wines vp the Riuer of Thames . glean'd Great Bacchus blood from France and Spaine , Few Ships my visitation did escape , That brought the sprightfull liquor of the Grape : My Bottles and my selfe did oft agree , Full to the Top , all merry came Wee three . Yet alwayes 't was my chance in Bacchus spight , To come into the Tower vnfox'd vpright . But as mens thoughts a world of wayes doe range , So as Lieutenants chang'd , did Customes d d The Wines had bin continually brought into the Leiutenants seller of the Tower for the space of 3●6 yeres , & neuer solde till now of late within this 4. or fiue yeares . change : The Ancient vse , vs'd many yeares before , Was folde , vnto the highest Rate and more , At such a price , which whosoe're did giue , Must play the Thiefe , or could not saue and liue . Which to my losse , I manifestly found I am well sure it cost me Thirty pound For One yeare , but before the next yeare come , 'T was almost mounted to a double e e It was solde at these hard Rates by another Leiutenant , ( an honest religious Gentleman , and a good housekeeper ) by the perswasions of some of his double diligent Seruants . summe : Then I , in scorne , Contempt , and vile disgrace , Discarded was , and thrust quite from my place , There Bacchus almost cast me in the mire , And I from Wine to Water did retire . But when the blinde misiudging world did see , The strange vnlook'd for parting of vs Three , To heare but how the multitude did judge , How they did mutter , mumble , prate and grudge , That for some f f Against all the world I oppose my selfe in this point , but yet I purpose to confesse more then any can accuse me of . faults I surely had committed , I , in disgrace thus from my place was quitted . These Imputations grieu'd me to the heart , ( For they were causlesse , and without desert ) And therefore though no man aboue the Ground That knew the Bottles , would give Twenty g g Except hee were a foole or a mad man . pound Rather than I would branded be with shame , And beare the burthen of desertles blame , To be an Owle , contemptuously bewondred , I would giue h h I did heare that the leiutenant was to leaue his place , which made me bargain with him at any price , in hope that he would not stay the full Receiuing , which fel out as I wish'd it . Threescore , fourescore , or a hundred . For I did vow , although I were vndone , I would redeeme my Credit ouerrunne , And 't is much better in a Iayle to Rot , To suffer begg'ry , slauery , or what not , Then to be blasted with that wrong of wrongs , Which is the poyson of Backbiting tongues . Hoysted aloft vnto this mounting taxe , Bound fast in Bonds in Parchment and with waxe , Time gallop'd , and brought on the payment day , And for three Monthes , I Eighteene pounds did pay . Then I confesse , I play'd the Thiefe in graine , And for one Bottle , commonly stole twaine . But who so buyes the place , and meanes to thriue , Must many times for One take foure or fiue . For this I will maintaine and verifie , It is an Office no true man can buy . And by that Reason , sure I should say well , It is vnfit for any man to sell : For 'till at such an extreame Rate I bought , To filch or steale , I scarcely had a thought . And I dare make a vowe 'fore God and men , I neuer plaid the Thiefe so much as then . But at the last my friendly starres agreed , That from my heauy bonds I should be i i That Lieutenant left his place , by which I was eased of my hard paiments . freed : Which if I euer come into againe , Let hanging be the Guerdon for my paine . Then the k k By this Lieutenant that now is . old Custome did againe begin , And to the Tower I brought the Bottles in , For which for seruing more then halfe a yeere , I ( with much loue ) had Wages and good Cheere , 'Till one l l A desperate Clothworker that did hunger and thirst to vndoe him selfe . most valiant , ignorantly stout , Did buy , and ouer-buy , and buy me out . Thus like Times Footeball was I often tost In Dock out Nettle , vp downe , blest and crost , Out-fac'd and fac'd , grac'd and againe disgrac'd , And as blinde Fortune pleas'd , displac'd or plac'd . And thus , for ought my m m Augury is a kind of Sooth saying , by the flight of birds . Augurie can see Diuorc'd and parted euer are wee Three . Old Nabaoth , my case is much worse then thine , Thou but thy Vineyard lost , I lost the Wine : Two witnesses ( for bribes ) thee false accus'd , ( Perhaps ) some prating Knaues hath me abus'd : Yet thy wrong's more then mine , the Reason why , For thou wast n n Nabaoth was stoned to death , so am not I. ston'd to death , so am not I. But as the dogges did eate the flesh and gore Of Iezabell , that Royall painted Whore , So may the Gallowes eate some friends of mine , That first striu'd to remoue me from the Wine . This may by some misfortune , be their lot , Although that any way I wish it not ▪ But farewell Bottles , neuer to returne , Weepe you in Sack , whil'st I in Ale will mourne ; Yet though you have no reason , wit , or sence , I 'le sencelesse chide you for your vile offence , That from your foster father me , would slide To dwell with Ignorance , My Bottles doe deserue a little reproofe . a blinde-fold guide , For who in Britaine knew ( but I ) to vse you , And who but I knew how but to abuse you ; My speech to you , no Action sure can beare , From Scandala magnatum I am cleare . When Vpland Trades-men thus dares take in hand A wat'ry buis'nesse , they not vnderstand : It did presage things would turne topsie turuie , And the conclusion of it would be scuruie . But leauing him vnto the course of Fate , Bottles let you and I a while debate , Call your extrauagant wilde humours home , And thinke but whom you are departed from ; I that for your sakes haue giu'n stabs and stripes ▪ To giue you suck from Hogsheads and from Pipes , I that with paines and care you long haue ●urst , Oft fill'd you with the best , and left the worst . And to maintaine you full would often pierce The best of Butts , a Puncheon , or a ●ierce , Whil'st Pipes and Sackbuts were the Instruments That I plaid on , to fill your full contents . With Bastart , Sack , with Allegant , and Rhenish , Your hungry mawes I often did replenish , With Malmesie , Muskadell , and Corcica , With White , Red , Clarret , and Liatica , With Hollocke , Sherant , Malliga , Canara , I stuft your sides vp with a sursarara , That though the world was hard , my care was still , To search and labour you might haue your fill . That when my Master did or Sup or Dine , He had his choyse of p p This was a credit to the Kings Castle and to the Lieutenant thereof . Fifteene sorts of Wine . And as good Wines they were , I dare be bolde , As any Seller in this Land did holde . Thus from these Bottles I made honour spring , Befitting for the Castle of a King . This Royalty , my labour did maintaine , When I had meate and wages for my paine . Ingratefull Bottles , take it not amisse That I , of your vnkindnes tell you this , Sure if you could speake , you would say in briefe , Your greatest want , was still my greatest griefe . Did I not often in my bosome hugge you , And in mine armes would ( like a Father ) lugge you , Haue I not run through Tempests , gusts and stormes , And met with danger in strange various formes , All times and Tides , with , and against the streame , Your welfare euer was my labours Theame . Sleet , Raine , hayle , winde , or Winters frosty chaps , Ioues Lightning , or his dreadfull Thunderclaps , When all the Elements in one Conspire , Sad Earth , sharpe Ayre , rough Water , flashing Fire , Haue warr'd on one another , as if all This world of nothing , would to nothing fall . When showring hayleshot , from the storming heau'n Nor blustering Gusts by Eol's belching driuen , Could holde me backe , then oft I searcht and sought , And found , and vnto you the purchase brought . All weathers , faire , foule , Sunshine , wet and dry , I trauail'd still your paunches to supply . Oft haue I fought , and swagger'd in your Right , And fild you still by either sleight or might . And in th' Exchequor I stood for your Cause , Else had you bin confounded by the Lawes . I did produce such q q I found and brought 3. witnesses that knew , & took their Oathes for the quantities of the Bottles for 50. yeares . witnesses , which crost The Marchants sute , else you had quite bin lost , And ( but for me ) apparantly 't is knowne , You had bin Kicksie winsie ouerthrowne , And for my seruice , and my much paines taken , I am cashier'd , abandon'd , and forsaken . I knew it well , and said , and swore it too , That he that bought you would himselfe vndoe , And I was promist , that when hee gaue o're , That I should fill you , as I did before , For which Foure yeares with patience I did stay , Expecting he would breake , or run away , Which though it bee falne out as I expected , Yet nerethelesse my seruice is rejected . Let men judge if I haue not cause to write Against my Fortune , and the worlds despight , That in my prime of strength , so long a r r 14. yeares . space , I toyl'd and drudg'd , in such a gainelesse place , Whereas the best part of my life I spent , And ( to my power ) gaue euery man content , In all which time which I did then remaine , I gaue no man occasion to complaine , For vnto all that know me I appeale , To speake if well or ill I vsde to deale , Or if there bee the least abuse in mee , For which I thus from you should sundred bee . For though my profit by you was but small , Yet sure my Gaine was loue in generall And that I doe not lye , not speake amisse , I can bring hundreds that can witnes this , Yet for all this I euer am put off , And made a scorne , a by word and a scoffe . It must some Villaines information be , That hath maliciously abused me , But if I knew the misinforming else , I would write lines should make him hang himselfe . Be he a Great man that doth vse me ill , ( That makes his will his Law , and Law his will ) I holde a Poore man may that Great man tell , How that in doing ill , he doth not well . But Bottles blacke , once more haue at your breech , For vnto you I onely bend my speach Full fourteene times had Sols illustrious Rayes , Ran through the Zodiacke , when I spent my dayes To conserue , reserue , preserue and deserue Your loues , when you with wants were like to starue . A Groce of Moones , and twice 12. months besides , I haue attended you all times and tides . If I gain'd Twelue-pence by you all that time , May I to Tyburne for promotion Climbe , For though the blinde world vnderstand it not , I know there 's nothing by you can be got , Except a drunken pate , a scuruy word , And now and then be tumbled ouer-boord , And though these mischiefes I haue kept me fro , No other Bottleman could e're doe so . T is knowne you haue bin stab'd , throwne in the Thames , And he that fild you beaten , with exclaimes , By Marchants , who haue much abused bin Which Exigents , I neuer brought you in , But I with peace and quietnes got more , Then any brabling e're could doe before . The Warders knowes , each Bottleman ( but I ) Had alwayes a crack'd crowne , or a blacke eye , Oft beaten like a Dog , with a scratch'd face , Turn'd empty beaten backe with vile disgrace . These iniuries my selfe did bring in quiet , And still with peace I fild you free from Ryot . My labours haue bin dedicate to you , And you haue dealt with me , as with a Iew , For vnto thousand witnesses 't is knowne , I did esteeme your welfare as mine owne . But an obiection from my words may runne , That seeing nothing by you may be wonne , Why I doe keepe this deale of doe about you When as I say , I can liue best without you . I answer , though no profit you doe bring , Yet there is many a profitable thing , Which I of s s This course neuer came into my mind in 14. yeares , whilst I kept the place . Marriners might often buy , Which vnto me would yeeld commodity . And I expected when the Time should be , That I should fill you , as 't was promist me , Whereby some other profit might be got , Which I in former times remembred not , All which could doe the Custome house t t A jarre of Oliues , or Oyle , a fewe Potatoes , Oranges Lemmons , & diuers other things , which a man may buy , get , and saue by . no wrong , Which to repeat heere would be ouer-long . But I was sleighted , with most vile disgrace , And one that was my Prentise plac'd in u u The fellow was euer a true man to me , & I enuy not his happines , but yet I haue very foule play offred 〈◊〉 place . But holla holla Muse , come backe come backe , I speake to none but you , you Bottles blacke . You that are now turn'd Monsters , most ingrate , Where you haue cause to loue most , most to hate , You that are of good manners quite depriu'd , Worse then the x x They are made of a beasts hide . Beast from whence you are deriu'd , If you be good for nothing but what 's naught , Then sure you haue bin better fed then taught : Besides the world will taxe me , and say still The fault was mine that nurtur'd you so ill . Persisting thus , in your iniurious wrong , It shewes y' are drunke with being Empty long . Long fasting sure hath made you weake and dull , For you are steddiest when you are most full . Me thinkes I heare you say the fault 's not yours , You are commaunded , by Superiour powers , But if the choyse were yours , you had much rather That I , then any one the Wines should gather . Alas poore fooles , I see your force is weake , Complaine you cannot , wanting power to speake : If you had speech , it may be you would tell , How with you and the Marchants I delt well , But 't is no matter , though you silent be , My fourteene yeares long seruice speakes for me . And for the Marchants still my friends did proue , I 'le tell them somewhat to requite their Loue . First let their wisedomes but collect and summe , How many Ships with Wine doe yearely come , And they will finde that all these Bottles shall Not fill y y At ● . gallons from a Ship , & from some but 1. gallon and a halfe , I account 30. Ships allowance is the quantity of 1. Hogshead , whereby it may be easily found in the Customhouse if I speake true or not . nine Hogsheads , at the most of all , Then he that for them Three Tonne dares to giue , The case is plaine , he must or beg or theeue . I doe not say that you haue bin abusde , But you may partly guesse how you were vsde . Indeed z z Now I speak of the Bottles againe . I thinke we ne're so soone had parted , Had friendly outsides bin but friendly hearted , The sweet bayte Couers the deceiuing hookes , And false hearts can put on good wordes and lookes . All is not Golde the Prouerbe sayes that glisters , And I could wish their Tongues were full of blisters , That with their flatt'ring diligence most double , Themselues , and you , and I , thus much did trouble . For misinforming paltry Knaues must be The Instruments of such indignity . But as the fairest Garden hath some weeds , And 'mongst the cleanest flocke some scab'd sheepe breeds . Or as the Ta●e amongst the Wheat doth growe Good onely for what 's ill yet makes a showe . So ther 's no Great house fixed on the ground , But Clawbacke Sichophants may there be found , For 't is a Maxim held in euery Nation , Great men are wayted on by Adulation . No doubt but some doth to the Court resort , And sure the Tower must imitate the Court ▪ As Caesars Pallace may ( perhaps ) haue many , So Caesars Castle cannot say not any . I haue found some that with each winde wold moue With hearts all hatred , and with tongues all Loue , Who with Hats mou'd , would take me by the Fist With Complements of honest Iacke how is t ? I 'm glad to see thee well with all my heart , Long haue I long'd to drinke with thee a quart , I haue beleeu'd this Drosse had bin pure Golde , When presently I haue bin bought and solde Behinde my backe ( for no desert or Cause ) By those that kindely Cap'd and kist their 〈◊〉 For one of them ( an ancient Reuerend Scribe ) Receiued Forty shillings for a bribe , On purpose so to bring the case about To put another in , and thrust me out . Long was the time this busines was a brewing , Vntill fit opportunity accruing , I was displac'd , yet spight the bribed Sharke , The man that gaue the bribe did misse the marke . O Bottles Bottles , Bottles , Bottles , Bottles , Platoes diuine workes , nor great Aristotles , Did ne're make mention that a guift so Royall , was euer bought and solde , like slaues disloyall . For since King Richard , second of that Name , ( I thinke ) your high Prerogatiue you Claime : And this much heere to write I dare be bolde You are a guift , not giuen to be solde , For sence or Reason neuer would alowe That you should e're be bought and solde till now . Philosophers with all their Documents , Nor aged Time with Antique monuments , Did euer mention such vntoward Elues , That did more idely cast away themselues . To such lowe Ebbe your basenes now doth shrinke , Whereas you yearely did make Thousands drinke . The hatefull Title now to you is left , Y' are Instruments of begg'ry and of Theft . But when I fild you ( I dare boldly sweare ) From all these imputations you were cleare , Against which I dare , dare , who dare or can , To answer him and meete him man to man , Truth armes me , with the which I will holde Bias , Against the shocke of any false Golias . Bottles you haue not wanted of your fill , Since you haue left me , by your heedlesse will , You scarce haue tasted penury or want , ( For cunning Theeues are seldome ignorant ) Yet many times you haue beene fild with trash , Scarce good enough your dirty skins to wash . All this I know , and this I did deuine , But all 's one , Draffe is good enough for Swine . I doe not heere inueigh , or yet Enuy The places profit , none can come hereby , And in my hand it lyes ( if so I please ) To spoyle it , and not make it worth a Pease . And to the world I 'le cause it to appeare , Who e're giues for you Twenty pounds a yeare . Must from the Marchants pilfer Fourescore more , Or else he cannot liue , and pay the score . And to close vp this point , I say in briefe , Who buyes it is a Begger , or a Thiefe , Or else a Foole , or to make all agree , He may be Foole , Thiefe , Begger , all the Three . So you false Bottles , to you both adieu , The Thames for mee , not a Denier for you . FINIS .