Taylors revenge, or, The rymer William Fennor firkt, feritted, and finely fetcht ouer the coales wherein his riming raggamuffin rascallity, without partiallity, or feare of principallity, is anagramatized, anotomized, & stigmatized : the occasion of vvhich inuectiue, is breifly set dovvne in the preface to the reader.

Taylors Reuenge . TO WILLYAM FENNOR . COme Sirrha , Rascall , off your cloathes , Sr. strip , For my Satyrrick whip shall make you skip : thou 'dst better to haue dealt with all the Deuills , They could not plague thee with so many euills . Nay come man , neuer whine , or crooch or kneele , My heart cannot one iot of pitty feele , I' haue squeez'd the Gall from out the Lernean Snake With which , Reuengefull Inke I meane to make , Which I with Aqua-fortis will Commix , Yblended with the loathsome Lake of stix , And with that Marrow-eating hatefull Inke I le make the● ( more then any Aiax ) stinke , A Scritch-owles quill shall be my fatall pen , That shall emblaze thee basest slaue of men . So that when as the pur-blinde worlde shall see How vildley thou hast playd the Rogue with mee , They shall perceiue I wrong'd them not ●or pelfe And thou shalt ( like a Rascall ) hang thy selfe . What damned Villaine would forsweare & swear● As thou didst , gainst my Challenge to appeare , To Answer me at Hope , vpon the stage And thereupon my word I did ingage , And to the world did publish printed Bills With promise that we both would shew our skills . And then your Rogue-ship durst not shew your face But Ran away , and left me in disgrace . To thee , ten shillings I for earnest gau● To binde thee that thou shouldst not play the Kna●● . Curr , hadst thou no mans Creddit to betray But mine , or couldst tho●●●nde no other way , To Shark , or Shift , or Co●y-catch for money But to make me thy Asse , thy Foole , thy Coney ? Could not thy Squire and thee , ( a brace of Varlots ) Ri●de , F●old , & Pip'd , mongst pocky Whoores & Harlots For two-pence in some drunken Bawdy-booth To please thy Doxy-dells sweet stinking tooth , Whereas thou mightst ( as thou hast often done ) Some scrapps and broken beere , for wages wone , Which to maintaine thy state had been some meanes Amongst thy fellowes , Rascalls , Rogues , & Queanes . Thou scuruie squint-eyd brazen-fac'd Baboon Thou dam'd Stiggmaticall fowle Pantaloon● , Thou Tauerne , Alehouse Whoorehouse , Gig of time That for a Groate wilt Amongst Tinkers Rime . I le hale from Hell Grim visag'd Nemesis Whom I will Scull or'e siluer Thamesis , Which to & fro , shall still torment and towze thee And none but Runagates ( like thee ) shall howze thee . Thine owne ●●gue ( trumpet like ) each where proclaime● Thy selfe a seruant to my Soueraign Iames , When as thy seruice to the King is such As Atheists vnto God , and scarce so much . It may be ( Graceles ) thou hast Graced bin And in the Presence didst Admittance win , Where some stolne Rimes , & some things of thine owne To please the eares of Greatnes thou hast showne . Which ( at the first hath wonne thee some Applawse Although perhaps not worth 3 barly strawes , ) And you forsooth , must presently giue out Amon̄st your Kitchinstuffe whoor-hedge bird rowt , What Nobleman your scuruines did bring Into the Court , and how our Gracious King ( As on a man most worthy to bestow it ) Intitled you his Highness Riming-Poet . How dares thy ouerweening saucy tongue Presume to doe a Poets name that wrong ? How darst thou ( being altogether vile ) Attribute to thy selfe that Sacred stile ? Shall that Rare Art ( which Gods and 〈◊〉 admire Polluted be by such a scuruie Squire ? Shall Heau'n-bred Poesie that so long hath lasted With thy contagious breath be Bussard-blasted ? Then Homer from thy Toomb , with speed returne And Maro Rouze thee from thy peacefull Vrne . Braue Naso to the world againe Retire , And Repossesse that Rare Pr●methean fire Which erst inspird you , heere you may behold The face of Impudency ouer-bold , That dares put on that sweet Poetique name Which hath eterniz'd your Immortall fame . Reuenge you Muses , vp , awake , awake , Or euer sinke to the Lethean Lake . And you braue Moderne Poets whose sweet lines All Heau'nly earthly Harmony combines , Can you , O'can your Sences be stupidious And see your selues abused thus perfidious . Oh if the Case were mine , as it is yours I would Raine vengance in reuengefull showres , Which furi●●s storme for euer should disperse And dash to peices these base Groomes in verse . An Asse in Cloath of Gold is but an Asse , And Riming Rascalls may for Poets passe , Amongst misiudging and illiterate Hynds But Iudgement knowes to vse them in their kindes . My selfe knowes how ( sometimes ) a verse to frame Yet dare I not put on a Poets name , And I dare write with thee at any time For what thou darest in either Prose or Rime , For thou of Poesy art the verie Scum Of Riff-Raff-Rubish wit the totall summe , The loathsome Glaunders of all base abuse The onely Filch-line of each labring Muse , The Knaue , the Asse , the Coxcomb and the Foole The scorne of Poets , and true wits Csose-stoole . But all your Tauerne and your Alehouse prate Is how your entertainment was in State , With this Great Lord and that embrodered Knight , With that faire Countesse , and that Lady bright , Though where thou come thou shift & lye & lurch As welcome as a Dog into a Church . Dost thinke the King and 's Courtiers doth not see And know that nothing good Can come from thee ! Can Swine yeeld sweet perfumes , ( can Swannes breed Crowes ? Can flattering Rogues haue but dissembling showes ? Can health be hidden in the plague or pox ? Can men take pride in fetters , bonds or stocks ? And more vnpossible then are all these It is that thou shouldst any wise man please , Except it be a flash , a sparke , a spurt , Soone in , soone out , and then as sweet as durt , Or like a candl's snuffe , for pleasing scent Thou leau'st them deeply pleasd with discontent , For thou ( like stinking Fish ) art growne so stale , A whole dayes Rime not worth a pot of Ale . But shortly I doe hope to see braue sport , To haue thee soundly whip'd from out the Court , For well I know my King will not allowe His house to harbour such a Rogue as thou . I vow to G●d , my Inkhorne i le not shut , Or sleepe shall not mine eyes together put Before each night I write some scourging vearse That in Reuenge thy Iadish heart shall peirce . For I whose creddt nere before was tainted , Nor euer was with Cheating tricks acquainted , To be by thee thus basely vsd and crost And in the world my Reputation lost , And all by thee , that merit'st nought but banging For sure I thinke , thou 'lt nere be worth the hanging . Yet rather then thou shouldst a Hanging want I 'de trusse thee vp for naught , were Hangmen scant , Nay I Would doe it freely , and for nothing , And giue thy Wife againe my fee and cloathing : Which Curtesie of mine , no doubt would moue The creatures kindnes to require my loue . On her thou laidst the fault : thou said'st that shee Did force thee basely Runne away from mee . Thou Dolt , thou Dunce , more blockish then a M●le , None but a Wittall giues his wife the Rule . No t' was thy Coward heart , full fraught with feare T' was nothing else that made thee not appeare . Hadst thou the Conquest got , I had not car'd So thou-vnto thy word hadst had regard , Then sure the Players had not playd a play But thou or I had borne away the day . And now to giue the world a little tast Of the strange brunts and puzzells that I past , I will not write a word shall be vntrue That men may know , thou vs'd me like a 〈◊〉 And that I doe not Raile on the so fore But that my wrongs doth vrge me to doe more . The house was filld with Newters , Foes , and Freind● And eu'ry one their money frankly spends , But when I saw the day away did ●ade And thy look'd for Appearance was not made , I then stept out their angers to appease But they all Raging like tempestious Seas : Cry'd out their expectations were defeated And how the wall were Cony catch'd & Cheated , Some laught , some swore , some star'd & stamp'd and curst And in confused humors all out burst . I ( as I could ) did stand the desp'rat shock , And bid the brunt of many dang'rous knock . For now the stinkards , in their Irefull wraths Bepelted me with Lome , with Stones , and Lath● , One madly fits like bottle - Ale , and hisses , Another throwes a stone , and cause he misses He yawnes and baules , and cryes away , Away : Another cryes out Iohn begin the Play , I thinke this Baebell of confused Action Would sure haue made thee stinke with feares distraction , One sweares and storms , another laughs & smiles , Another madly would pluck off the tiles . Some Runs to' the doore to get againe their Coyne And some doe shifts and some againe purloine , One valiantly stept out vpon the Stage And would teare downe the Hangings in his rage . ( God graunt he may haue hanging at his end That with me for the hangings did contend , ) Such clapping , hissing , swearing , stamping , smiling , Applauding , scorning , li●ing , and Reuiling , Did more torment me then a Purgatorie , Yet I ( in scorne of windie pomp stage glory ) Did stand it out , vnconquer'd , vnsubdude , Despight the Hydra-headed multitude . Now Goodman dog a halter catch your muzzell , Your not Appe●rance brought me in this puzz●ll , But I ( to giue the Audience some content ) Began to Act what I before had ment : And first I playd A maundering Roguish creature ( a part thou could haue Acted well by nature ) Which act did passe , and please , and fild their Iawe● With wrinkled laughter , and with good Aplawse . Then came the Players , and they play'd an Act Which greatly from my Action did detract . For t is not possible for any one To play against a Company alone , And such a Company ( I le boldlie say ) That better ( nor the like ) e're playd a Play . In breife , the Play my Action did Eclips And in a manner seald vp both my lipps . Suppose it were a black Cimmerian night And that some 12 or 16 Torches light Should make night seeme an Artificiall day , And them suppose these torches past away , Whilst dismall darknes straight resumes the place , Then after all comes in with Glimm'ring pace A silly ●aper . How would that alone Shew when the flaming torches all were gone ? Eu'd so seem'd I , amidst the Guarded troope Of Gold lac'd Actors , yet all could not droope My fixed minde , for where true Courage rootes : The Prouerb sayes , once ouer shoes or ● bootes . T' were easier to subdue wilde Beares or Bores , Or rowe to High-gate with a paire of Oares , Or to make thee an vpright honest man ( Which sure God will not , nor the Deuill can ) T' were lesser labor to blow downe Paules-steeple Then to Appease , or please the raging people . The Play made me as sweet in their opinions As Tripes well fry'd in Tarr , or Egges with Onions . I , like a Beare vnto the stake was tide , And what they said , or did , I must abide . A pox vpon him for a Rogue sayes one And with that word he throwes at me a stone , A second my estate doth seeme to pitty , And saies my Action's good , my speeches witty . A third doth screw his chaps awry , and mew , His selfe conceited wisdome so to shew . Thus doth the Third , the Fourth , the Fift and Six Most G●lliemawfrey-like their humors mix . Such Motley , Medley , Linsey Wolsey speeche● Would sure haue made thee vilifie thy breeches . What I endur'd , vpon that earthly hell My tongue or pen cannot discribe it well . And rather then I le doe the like once more I would be married to an Arrant Whore . And that s a Plague , I could wish well to thee For it would worser then a Hanging be . And let ●e say my best in my excuse , The Audience all were wrong'd with great abuse , Great cause they had to take it in offence , To come from their Affaires with such expence By Land and Water , and then at the Play So extraordinarily to pay , And when th● thing should bee which they expected Then nothing to their likings was effected . Their mirth to Madnes , liking turned to Loathing For when all came to all , all came to nothing . Thus hast thou had a little slender taste Of my designes , and ●ow I was disgrac'd , For which I am beholding to you Sir , For had you come , there had been no such stir , Not cause the people long'd thy selfe to see But that they look'd thou shouldst disgraced bee , To see vs two the people did repaire , And not to see or heare , or Play or Player . Why what a faithlesse Rascall art thou then Dar'st thou to look● vpon me once ag●n , Which if thou dost , were 't not for ●ear of Lawes I 'de stab my Dagger thorow both thy lawes . But much I scorne my fingers should be fowle With beating such a durry 〈◊〉 - Owle . But I le Rib-roast thee , and bum-bast thee still With my enraged Muse , and angry Quill . And so I leaue thy Carkas and Apparrell Vnto the Hangman , who shall end our quarrell , My full opinion of thee sure is this In no Church-booke thy name Recorded is ▪ But that thou wast begotten in some ditch Betwixt a Tinker and a 〈◊〉 Witch , And sure thy birth did equall thy beg●tting , I thinke thy Mother in the Sun-shine sitting . Basking herselfe close to ●ome hedge of Thorne And so without a Midwife thou wa●t borne . And there the Sunne with his Illustrous Light Screwd quite Awry the Wind●wes of thy sight . Then afterwards the Ma●●o●e thought it meet To wrap thee vp within some hedg-stolne sheet . And making thee his sweet vnchristian pack Some six or seau'n yeare bare thee on hir back , Instructing thee in the braue Canting tong And how in Pedlers French to sing a song . And Ryme for Butter-milk for Curds and Whay And in a Barne at night thy bones to lay . This I doe thinke of thee , I le not say so ▪ Thou knowst it best if it be so or no. This ( by thine owne Report ) some few yeares since Thou Rym'st at Gr●●●send for so●e fourteen pence I' the street , from seauenteen people vnrespected This Graund Collection , Iustly was Collected . As I doe hope for blisse , I hate thee not For any Goods or Creddit thou hast got In Court or Cittie . But thy praise I le sing If any way thou didst delight the King . So many tedious Cares are daylie throwne Vpon the Royall-head that weares a Crowne , That into Action I would melt my spright Thereby to giue my Sou'raigne some delight . For such things I doe loue and wish thee well But that I thinke no such in thee doth dwell . Therefore I hate the● , as thou dost be●aue Thy selfe like to a couzening paltry Knaue . What heere I write , vpon thee I le make good And in the hazard I le engage my blood . But as I said before , againe I le say I scorne on such a Rascall , hands to lay , For the olde Prouerb is Authenticall ( Who touches pitch shal be defilde witha●● . Thou hast a pate can forge a Mint of lies , Else how i's t possible thou couldst deuise At once to flap me and the world i' th mouth That thou wast Rid , East , West , and North , & South . That day thou shouldst haue met me on the Stage Thou wentst three me wayes at once on pilgrimage , Thou sent'st ●e word tho'wast sent for to the Court , Thy wife said thou with speed must make resort To fetch her portion out of Warwick-shire , And the day after t' was my chance to heare , How thou for begging of a Fellons pardon Wast Rid downe into Kent to fetch thy Guer●●●n . So that the Portion that thou wentst to fet Thou from the Gallo●●es ( thy best frei●d ) didst get . But though thou rob the G●llowes of his fee , It will ( at last ) for principall catch thee . Where ( for thou Guld'st me at t●e Hope ) I hope Thou wilt conclude thy Rogu'ry in a Rope , Three Trees , two Ram●ant , and the other Crossant , One halter Pendant , and a ladder Pass●●t , In a feild Azure , ( clouded like the ●kye ) Because 'twixt Earth and Ayre I hope thou'●t d●e . These Armes for thee , my Muse hath Heralldiz'd , And to exalt thee , them shee hath deuisd . Then when thou bidst the world thy last good-night Squi●t vpward , and cry Gallowes claime thy right . To whose protection , thy Estate I tender , And all thy Rights and Titles I surrender , Thy Carkas and thy Manners ( that are ●uill ) To Tyburne , Hangman , and ( thy ●ire ) the Deuill . Thine as thou hast deseru'd , Iohn Taylor .