There were to this house , thrée Gates ; and all in a forefront , which shewed that it had the foundation of some Caitle : but by decaie , was brought to be an Almes-house . Now in this Towne were many sundrie sorts of people of all ages ; as Old , and young , and middle age : men , women , and children : which did eate , and drinke , and make a noyse , and die : but such as liued , had there , their sundry lodgings , that they might quickly be founde out , when there was occasion of their imploymeut . The house was large , and the Gouernor a great Man : I doe not meane in fat , ( and yet he was well lined in the Pursse : ) but he hadde a great commaund , especially of those about him : which because they were of small wealth , there is little to be saide of them : onely they were Creatures that serued the time , followed Shaddowes , fitted humours , hoped of Fortune , and found , what ? I cannot tell you .

But at the entrance into the first base Court , wher walking of Horses was the chiefest exercise of Idle people : ouer the Gate , I sawe written ( Madde Fellowes ) Now , asking the meaning thereof of an olde Man ( who was the Porter ) who had written vppon his breast , The Kalender of Experience , he tolde me , this house was called the Fort of POLLY , where such as sold Lande and followed Fortune , to teache them Patience after poasting , were put to walking of horses : Where great spirits , stouping to little bodyes , made miserie a meane to happinesse : Where in the Crosse of Patience , companie gaue much comfort : yea but ( quoth I ) Doe all walke Horses ? and haue they no other intertainment ? yes ( quoth the Olde man ) within the house , are many , put to more vnpleasing seruices : As , they that haue spent their patrimony vppon Wantonnesse , are made Pandars to wickednesse He that lost his wealth at play , muste hold the Candle to Gamsters : and he that melted it in banquetting , must waite on a Churles Trencher : and he that spent it in the Warres , must learne to pray for Peace .

Alasse ( quod I ) I haue beene a yonger Brother , and glad I would be to see fashions , but if here be no better intertainement , I haue no hart to goe in any further . Oh sir , quoth he , Content your selfe , you may doe better then you are aware of : For , if you haue any extraordinary qualitie , here you may make a gaine of it : If you can make a Ditty to a tune , you may fill your belly for your witte : If you can mende a decayed complexion , you shall be paide for your colour : If you can deuise a new fashion , there are that will be for your humor : if you can tell a strange tale , you shall be thought wise : if you can swthe a lie , you will growe plausible : if you can mannage the carriage of the Foole , you may haue sauour in faire Eies : if you can cheate at play , you may thriue by trickes : if you haue any languages , you may do good vppon strangers . And if you haue the strength of the backe , you shall not want necessaries of the Bellie : But whatsoeuer you doe , beware of conscience for she is in little credite : Alas quoth I then , what should I do héere ? For I had rather die , then liue dishonestly : Honesty ( quoth hee ) whatsoeuer you thinke of it , speake not a word of it . For in the course of Folly , a faithfull seruant is a good Asse : a kinde friend , is a swéet foole : A liberal hart is a feare of Beggery : and a charitable man is a pittifull creature . And yet , howsoeuer they come héere , I knowe not , but our house is full of them , and therefore if you be as you say , so scrupulous of Conscience , or so carefull of Honesty , you were beste make one amonge a number héere , then loose your selfe in a wildernes with want of companie . For héere , you may be Beauties Foole , Wealthes slaue , or Wittes asse , or Prides vassall , Honours shaddowe , or Powers subiect : you may be a Iester among fooles , a Iuggler among Gypsies , a Fortune-teller among fayre hands , or a flattrer among fine Eares : and perhappes , if you can be wise , bee nere the worse for weldooing .

For t is no shame to honestie , to furnish necessitie , so that the lawe doe not touch you , for I haue lyued long , and neuer saw a tempred spirit out of Tune : and if you will be ruled by your friendes , you maye doe well . The Mistresse of this house hath no meane power in the world : for in the Warre , she hath her Mutiners : in the Schooles , her Truantes : in the Court , her Prodigals : in the Cittie , her Minions : in the countrie , her Lols : and at Sea , her Pyrates : and at Lande , her out-lookers . And let me tell you , that once a yéere , ( howe often more , I knowe not ) they all do her homage . The Cuckold hangs downe his head : the thiefe hideth his face : the Prodigall fetcheth a déepe sighe : and the Louer with infolded armes , and ( perhappes ) a wéeping Eye , singes a Ballad of his Brainsicknes , to the tune of O man in desperation .

And therefore thinke not much , among so many of such reputation , to haue a place of Entertainment : Which , if you like not , and can mend your selfe , tell me your minde , and I will helpe you in what I can : but , this I say , she is a kinde woman , and will giue you countenaunce whensoeuer you come : for shee loues Straungers excéedinglye , and entertaineth them most kindely . Alas ( quoth I ) these wordes of yours are straunge , I knowe not when to make of them : I am not for hir hand , except she haue néede of me in some better seruice , then I yet héere of .

Why ( quoth he ) let me tell you , it were straunge , that you should spend your wits , with your wealth , if the worste fall , let me tell you , if you can féede an Owle , teach an Ape , or catch a Spaniell , I will warrant you pleas`d for your paine . No ( quoth I ) imaginations of ydlenesse , are but losse of time , and therefore trouble not your selfe , I had rather neuer serue , then be at such commaunde : But , since Fortune hath brought me hither , I pray you do for me , what you can , that I may not so far loose my hopes , that I pay two déere for my Repentaunce . I will ( quoth he ) come on thy wayes : so in he brought mee to his great Ladie : who in a great brauerie , vaunting her selfe , asked me who I was ? I aunswered , a Cipher among figures : well said , ( qd she ) more wit in the words then in the matter : now , whence come you ? From idlenesse , ( quoth I ) well , ( saide shee ) that is the righte waie to Ignoraunce : Eperience , take this fellow , to thee , and let him reade the rules of Patience , which done , let him know his place .

So taking leaue of his Lady , he led me into a large Roome , paued with rough flint stone in the midst whereof , was a kinde of standing water , that ( when it was sticced ) gaue a kinde of sent , that would haue kilde a horse : Alasse ( quoth I ) Father , what shall I doe héere ? Why ( quoth he ) you must know , they that haue spent their wealth in perfumes , sweete waters , and delicate Odors , must first , héere haue patience with a little vnpleasing sauour , for he that comes into such a great house , as your Forte of Follie : must not looke for all places , after the finest fashion ?

For he that cannot away with Sir Reuerence , must not come at Patience : but after you are a little vsed to it , you will easily away with it : Oh , Patience is a vertue , though it waite vpon many villaines : but you must away with many viscontentmentes , before you can be acquainted with the secretes of this house , or haue fauour with our Mistresse . Heere , in this place , which is called the Purgatorie of ●●t●e , I must bring you acquainted with many , that haue lodging in this place , of whom you must haue diuers instructions , touching the Rules of Patience .

So , knocking at one dwre , comes me out a handsome man , but poorely apparrelled , pale faced , thin hayzed , and lowe voiced : who , ( with a soft spéech , as in a feare to wake some sléeping Children ) badde vs welcome , whome the olde man thus saluted : Scholler , I haue this morning , met with a stranger , whome I haue preferred to my Lady mistresse : who hath giuen me in charge , to instructe him in all thinges fit for him in her Seruice : nowe , knowing your perfection in the first point of the Principalles of this Purgatorie , I will leaue him for this day to your entertainment : He is Welcome ( quoth he ) so , ( leauing me till the next morning , ) he went his may , and I ( in a pittifull taking , ) was brought by this Anathomie of flesh , into the discomefort of nature , where oppenning a little dwre , and that lowe , where we must stoope ere we got in , there did I sée ( with much adoe ) through a huge Sea-cole smoake , by a little light , that came through a hole , in the top of the house , a Roome filled with people of diuers humors , aswell olde as young , ( but the pittifullest of Creatures , that the Earth carried aliue : ) all sitting vpon the bare ground : some sighing ; other groaning , some wéeping , other wringing their hands : and not one , but in one Agonie , or other .

Now , what with feare , and what with Sorrow , in a kinde of maze to beholde this mappe of mtserie , this poore wretch appointed for my Reader in the Rules of Patience , while I expected some booke or other , that he should fall to lay open to such purpose : he brought me to them all , one after another , willing me to note them seuerally , to giue eare to their spéeches , and to take notes of them for my better memorie .

So sitting downe with him ( as it were ) in the midst of them , without any regard , either of me or themselues , while melancholy so domineired in all , that there was not a good humour among them : they thus began their blacke Sauntis . One , who ( it shoulde séente ) , had béene a trauailer , and nowe retyred perforce , from a worlde of Countries , fell thus to talke to himselfe . O Heauens , what a Hell is this ? Tyre the bodie , spende the spirite , emptie the purse , weary friendes , waste the wittes deserue well , desire little , and haue nothing : What comforte on the earth , but death ? Fortune is such an enimie to vertue , the rowling stone gathers no mosse , the vanitie of varietie settes the wittes a woolgathering , where the Shéepe are woorse then woolues , trauaile toylesome , victuall chargeable , apparrell costly , companie iealous , the sea daungerous , and nature vicious .

These passages who hath paste , and is come vnto the ende of his pilgrimage , let him sing with me in this purgatorie : Oh the winde , the weather , and the raine . When shaking of his heade , with a heauie hearte , hee putte his tounge to silence : when hauing learned by his trauaile , ( hauing little money in his purse , ) to fare harde , hee fell to breake his fast nowe aboute dinner time , with the pill of an orange , a rawe roote , and a little salte : which with a harde cruste of drye biskette , and a cruze of colde water , hee made his patient repast : when , calling mée to him . Sir ( quoth hée ) if it please you , that you will take parte with a poore manne , wellcome shall bee your best cheare . A trauailers Table is soone couered : I haue beene verie well acquainted with kick-shoses , but now I haue learned to satisfie Nature with a little .

Alasse , thought I , to take a bone from a Dogge , I should starue the dumbe beast , and rather had I fast , then fall to such hungrie fare . So , hauing manie more to looke ouer , the next was a man of Middle age , who had binne a man of some wealth : but , with entering into suretie , and taking vp Creditte , and giuing interest , fell so farre to decay , by leauing his Trade to his Seruantes charge , and followinge the course of his owne Pleasures , satte there with a néedle and a thréed , mending of Byréeches , Petticoates , and Stockinges : In which , being so practised , as got him now and then a little woorke , he had standing by him , for meat and drinke , a pot of strong Ale , which was often at his his nose , that it kept his face in so good a coulour , and his braine in so kinde a heate , as forgetting part of his forepassed Pride , in the good humour of grieuing Patience , made him with a hemming sigh , ilfauourdly singe the Ballad of Whilom I was , To the tune of Tom Tinker .

This poore soule I pittied , but finding little matter in him , I went to the next : who being an olde man with a siluer head , and a snowy bearde , hollow chéeked . Iawe-fallen , and bleare eyed , shaking with the Palsie , and tormented with the Stone , not so Rich , as to haue the Gout , hauing beene a man of some possessions , and with too fat feeding of Horses , too high kéeping of Haukes , and too much delighting in banquetinges , through lacke of husbandrie , was forced to leaue himselfe without Lande , and hauing no more mony left , then in soiourning with Patience , might pay for his bourde in this purgatorie , hauing in a little Boxe , an Electuarie , which , with a little spirite of the iuice of Grape , kepte lyfe and soule together ; this poore man , talking to himselfe , of the vngratefulnesse of the proude ; the vnkindenesse of the rich , the hatefulnes of the wicked , the wo of the wanton , and the miserie of the poore , the wilfulnesse of youth , and the wretchednesse of age : after many a déepe sighe , with a hollowe voice , in a solemne tune , with a heauie hearte , fell to sing the song of Oken Leaues began to wither : to the tune of Heauilie , heauilie .

Which poore soule had no sooner ended , but for his best ease , falling fast asléepe , to his good slumber I left him .

When nexte to him , sat a dapper fellowe with a smarte countenance : one , who ( it séemed ) in his youth had béene experte in the Passe a Measure : but , for want of a good eare to kéepe time , made no lasting commoditie of his idle qualitie . Nowe this fellows ( as it séemed ) had spent a greate deale more then his getting , vpon the gay furnishing of an euill fauoured carkasse , which growing out of square with good fashion , and with some great cold after a heat , in some extraordinarie labour , hauing gotten the crampe of the iointes , sat with a combe in his hande , dressing of haire to send to the Perriewigge-makers , which being a verie poore occupacion , gotte him little , but nowe and than , a little broken meate after the houshoulde had dined : who after hee had spit on his fingers and wiped them on his patched bréeches after dinner , in steade of grace ; fell to sing the ballad of the blinde Beggar , to the tune of Heigh ho. Nowe , taking no great pleasure in this Pawne at Chesse ; I took note of the nexte : who was a young man , faire of face , flaxen head , fine hand , and foote , streight body , good legge , and a reasonable good countenance ; but with all this , t was pitty he was a foole ; for as I found after ward by him , hee had béen a possessor of some small portion : which , through lacke of a good forewit , brought him into this purgatorie of Folly .

For allas poore man , he had been so far in loue , that hee was almost out of his wits , ere his wealth was halfe gon ; and being brought to a bare point , hauing no further credit with beautie , then cost , not able to mantaine the course , was sains to giue it ouer in the plaine field : where so far forlorne of all comfort , that he knewe not where to bestowe his litle talent that hee had lost , fell by chaunce vpon this forte , where , hee nowe sat making of ballads ; where with a crust of breade out of his pocket , eating , and singing , hee howled out the dittle of When I was faire and young : to the tune of Fortune .

But to heare how he cursed the wenches that had ( as he said ) missused him with faire looks , kind promises , and such tricks ; oh fie vppon them , a man is worse then mad that hath to dooe with any of them ; and then , how he would curse himselfe , for selling of his lande , spending of his money , and loosing of his time , if a man in that place could haue laughte , it would haue put him to his passion . But there let him sing , and they that liste buye his Ballads .

Now from him , I tooke note of the next , which was of the feminine Gender , one that was once a virgin had béene a little while a Mayde , knew the name of a wife , fell to be a Widdow , and laste of all , eyther through desire of change , or mislike of choice , or the instinct of Nature , or the corruption of the spirite , or want , or pride , I know not , but for want of a better trade , after she had giuen ouer her shop , betooke her to her Chamber : and there , not able to maintain house-kéeping with Idlenesse , fell to occupye suche wares as were most gainfull : Where , hauing stufs of all coulours , she so pleased her chapmen , that for a while she had good resort : but many of them falling to decaie , her ware growne old , and her stuffes common , she that had béen a whore in her youth , and a Bawde in her olde age , was now become an Almeswoman , and liued vpon a poore pittance , when after many a déep sigh , and bitter teare or two , she would sing the Lamentation of a Sinner , To the tune of welladaye .

After all these , I sawe a yong woman , of reasonable beauty , indifferent good countenance , and of stature not much amisse , who being in all her life none of the richest , nor for her wit , none of the wisest : yet for that , she had a conceit beyond all good vnderstanding , that because a Knaue for a fit of Fie-for-shame or a companion , for gaine of a little coyne , woulde perswade her , that she was wonderfullie Faire , and excéeding wise , she , out of the great lacke of knowledge , in her little discretion , thinking , that if shée , out of the Common of two , shoulde be of a better declension then a simple Creature , perswading hirselfe that casting a Shéepes eye at a Rams-head , the Hornes shoulde not be séene , till the Ewe mighte auouch the Lambe , by the pride of a few pence , often frequenting the Market , and méeting her Willers at the Tauerne , it fell out , that after an ydle and loos life , by breach of promise of one expence vppon another , and ill dealing of all , hauing lost all fauor with her friends , loue of her Kinne , and the greatest part of her Portion , hauing now nothing left , but a wicked face , and a worse bodie , a gowtie legge , and a splay soote , fit for nothing , but a base exercise , shée was nowe with a little coyne , in a leather pursse , a sowle kerchiefe , a course Petticote , and a clowted shoo , become a Laundresse to the house : where with her handes vppe to the Elbowes in a washing-boul , rubbing vppe a baby-clowt , stood singing the Ballet , of All a greene Willowe , to the famous Tune of Ding , dong .

Now there were diuers others in excéeding badde takings : as Lustie , Gallant youthes , that had spent and made hauocke of their Patrimonies , in attending vpon vaine hopes , and loosing their times , exclaiming vpon Fortune , growing ( euen as it were ) madde for lacke of money , here in this place were let to diuers Exercises , of whome the number was to be accounted verie great , and therefore I care not if I skippe them over : But yet amongst them al , there was one , that I tooke a speciall regarde vnto : a man of a good personage , a faire complexion , a quicke wit , and a gratious spirit , who either for punishment of his siunes , or for triall of his patience , had bene married to a most vilde woman : who , as she was neither faire , nor greatly well fauoured , yet , was she most excéedingly foolish , and intollerably frowarde : one , whome nothinge contented , but money , which she knew not well how to vse , when she had it , and yet , with this piece of vngratious creature , had this poore man tugged out twelue yéeres of his life , when , béeing so continually wearied out with vnquietnesse , that he knewe not where to bestowe himselfe , after long losse of time , expence of much money , and many a heactes griefe , thinking no Purgatorie so full of paine , as the passion of her frowardnes , satte there , reading of the vertue of Patience , when with his Eies full of teares , and hart-broken sighes he hummed out the Ballad of the Breeches , to the tune of Neuer more .

Now this man ( after his song , ) I had some talke withall , who told me , that of all the Torments of the world ther is none so intollerable , as the vnquietnes of a frowarde wife . Oh shee is like Thunder in his Eares , like lightning in his eyes , like a Beare in his bed , and a dog at his Table , so that if there may be a Deuill in a humane shape , he will shew himselfe in her picture : Oh quoth he ) I pray thee trouble mee not with speakinge of her , I haue griefe inough to think of her , for she was the plague of my youth , and is now , the miserie of mine age , for , in respect of her Pestilent tongue , this very Purgatorie , is a Paradise : shée hath béene the losse of my credite , the crosse of my Fortune , the hurt of my witte , and the onely vexation of my spicite : but peace ( quoth hee ) noe more wordes ; for nowe shee beginnes to awake , you shall sée a proofe of my spéeche : when stretching out a mouth , as wide as halfe a worlde , after a sléepye yawne or two , scarce well out of her dead slumber , ( persmading her selfe , that she hadde heard som part of her description ) out she breakes into her Naturall fittes : With yea , I heare you well enough , a vengeance of all such Husbandes .

Good wife , saide he , know where you are , haue patience : Good Asse ( sayde shee ) Wherefore ? What should one doe with a Iacke an-Apes that hath neyther wit nor gouernement ; Thou haste nothinge of a man in thée , hange thée Dogge : Fye Sister ( saide he ) you are much to be blamed , neyther beautie , nor honor , Wealth nor wit , and yet out of Tune still . Fie , fie , learne to be Wise , this is a Purgatorye , where euerie body learnes patience , and you onelie spoile all :

A Purgatorie indéede , saide shée , to be yoaked and matcht with a Slaue , as is by no meanes able to maintaine me , as well as others doe their Wiues : If thou canst not liue , heere is a knife to cutte thy throte , goe to the Sea and drowne thy selfe , or else vnto the Gallowes and hange thy selfe , I promyse thee I care not for thée : If I were well ridde of thee , I would haue thy betters , I haue no Trade to gette my liuing , and therefore doe as thou wilt or canst , I care not : Naye then ( saide she ) if that so be you doe not mend your maners , I shall be enforced to leaue you in your sleepe : and when you are awake , see what your mistcesse will do●e for you : and with that worde , swelting with Anger , and readie to foame at the mouthe , taking out of her pocket , a Ballad of the Tinkers wife that beate her husbande : after shée had grated her teeth , and knitte her browes and made a wru●ging mouth she fell to reading , till shee was fast a sleep : where , he ( not willing to wake hit ) rose quietly away from her , and with me stealing away from the company , brought mee out of that Roome into another Roome , more lightsome and comfortable , and yet , very pittifull to beholde , when the miseries there , were well considered : for , one that had bene in loue , sat looking on his Mistresse Picture , making such a legge to it , writing such verses in honour to it , and committing such Idolatrie with it , that poore man , I pittied him : and in his behalfe , sorrowed to sée how the Foole did handle him : but there sat he , hanging the head , lifting vp the Eyes , and with a déepe sigh , singing the Ballad of , Come liue with me , and be my loue : To the tune of adew my Deere .

Next to him , sat a young woman , that was verie faire , and indifferent wise , of a right good stocke , and reasonably honest : but , for want of a good purse , she had lost her louer , and being grown into some yéers , hauing no excellent good qualitie , was there set with a pan of Coales , a starch-pot , and a setting-sticke , which being now the Trade of Attendance , to hope of the preferment of mariage , to some fellow of more wealth , then vnderstanding in the world , there sat with her poting sticke , stiffening of a fall : and singing the Ballet of Fortune hath stolne away my loue to the tune of Greene Sleeues .

To which song leauing her , I cast mine eies vpon a pittifull creature , which , in the shape of a woman , made a pittifull sight : for , being both in proportion , countenance , and qualitie , an obiect woorthe the looking on : yet no sooner began she to vtter her passion , in the method of lamentation , but , she did so turne my hart in my belly , that if in hope of her better recouerie , it had not turn`d backe : a thousande to one , but my kindnes had cost me more then I should haue gotten by it : for , to tell you some part of her spéeche , ( though it were neuer in the Grammar ) yet , being in the Rules of the Accidents , for the better vnderstanding of the Reader , I will set it downe as I can remember it . Oh Lord ( quoth she ) what plague can be greater to a woman , then to be married to a Muskleboat , which neuer goes further then a cricke , to fish for a Frog , with a Goose-net : was euer any woman in the worlde brought into such a hell ? Oh let me thinke vpon my dingle dangle : in my bed , a log , at my table a Hog , in discourse , a Baby , in iudgement , an asse , and for all Imperfections , the substance of worse then nothing , And yet , I must , and haue , ( but , will no more , ) done reuerence to this monster , and bene a seruant to this slaue , and all , for a little money : but I haue done , I will héere rather pine to death , in this Purgatory of Patience , then passe one day longer , in the Laborinth of sorrow , to liue with such a none-such , a fool ? Why , I had rather be a beg gar with true wit , then a Lady without true honor : but , since Patience is a medcine for all Malladies , if he continue the coxcombe a little longer , I will fit him a pennyworth to the purpose : and in the meane time , till I sée him ( which I hope neuer to doe : ) let me sing my new Ballet , of the fine foole , to the tune of Tarlton : wherwith pulling a paper out of her pocket , wherein was written both the dittye and the note , she beganne like a Nightingall , to singe with a voice , that if I had not knowne her to haue bene a Woman , I shoulde haue thought her some better creature : but there let me leaue her in her dumps of Wella-day , and tell you further on , of my passage ; taking a little viewe of all these obiects , nothing what I thought most néedefull , I tooke the company of my friend , and came into an other Roome , greater then that before : where I saw diuers , sitting at a rounde table : and ( as it were ) at dinner : for euery one , had his Trencher furnished .

One , hee fedde on Flies , and Bées , which so stunge his tongue and bit him by the lippe , that hee was forc`st to giue vppe houshold , and leaue all hospitalitie , and studie onely to please the Lady of the Castle : but , while he was in studie , he fed still vpon flies , that , ( had not his throat bene the wider ) hee had bene choaked with a flie , instéede of some better fare : but loathe to leaue him , without some further knowledge of him : I vnderstood , that , he had bene a man of some vnderstanding , but , so carried awaye with conceit : that because he thought himselfe wise , there was more hope of a Foole , then of him , for true wit to do good vpon ? for , trusting to the compasse of his owne capacitie , so much , that he disdained better company , he was so cosened with the cunning of wit , as , thinking to ouer-reach the Moone with imagination , he fell through the clowdes of Error , so low into the lap of Folly , as being swaddled vp , in her Babies bands , he must be very olde , ere he recouer his wits againe : but , poore wretch , there let him rest , and watch the Spiders webbe for a flie , for I had no more to do with him : but the next to him , sat a handsome woman , in shape , but , for her beauty , nointed with the curriers oyle : and for her wit , it was so naturall , that Art had nothing so do with it , yet hadde this vnséemely creature , among better company , a kinde of Pride , that she was woorth the looking on , till after great expences of apparrel for her filthy outside , and fine diet for her fowle chappes , she grew to so bare a reckoning with her purse , that her portion must now be raised vpon her qualities , which béeing chiefly in her Néedle , she was forced to be sparing of her dyet , and make layd-worke the greatest parte of her liuing , whereof though she had her handes full , yet Cut-worke being more in vse , she was constrained to take excéeding great pains for little profit : but hauing now newe risen vppe from her worke , and set downe at the Table , her meate was most chiefly on a fryed Mouse , and the reason thereof was , for that she being as watchfull as a Catte , and as broade eyed , and euil faced , neuer gotten without the consent , agréement , or conceite of some such like Creature , it was a dish set before hir to discipher hir disposition : and so let her sitte , her neighbour with a flie , and she with a fried mouse , like good fellowes , or good Fooles togither .

Now , next her , sat a man , well stept in yéeres , but fine in apparrell , and so briske in countenance , as if he had fed vpon an Elixar , to recouer the losse of his strength , and he more strong in mind , then in body , to preserue the smoothnesse of his countnance , to deceiue the sight of a simple Eie , fedde onely vppon a Snayle , and so litle at once that he kept an exceeding spare diet : which , not being wholesome for all complexions , I meant not to meddle with : but so , leauing him to his perillous dishe , tooke note of her that was nexte him : who in the shape of a woman , was nothing pleaūng to man : for as she was olde , ( and therfore not Eiesome , ) so was she froward , and that was cumbersome : one , who in her youthe had been so lauish of her kindnesse , that now in her Age , she had nothing left but the contrary : and , where she might haue bene commaunder of many friends , shée now was growne to be an ouerséer of Idlenes : wher being so busie , with a crabbed humour , that she was vnfit for good company : lighting amongst beggers , that would flatter her for a poore reuersion , for want of a paire of spectacles , to leade the right way to her graue , she fell , ( by I know not what chaunce ) into this Fort of Foll , and so , in the society of these Fooles , sat at this table of good fellowshippe : where the most of her foode , was of the clawe of an olde Crabbe : a true Figure of her substaunce : for her little Eyes , her crawling féet , and her scratching fingers , the salt khewme , like the Sea water , and her graue , like a hole in the mudde , where , after her going forwarde and backward , she went stealing of time to litle purpose , feeding vpon the gaine of young people , as the crabbe doth on little ashes , she was sweetly disciphered in her diet but , least I grow tedious in her description , I will tell you of the rest .

The next was a nimble witted , and glib-toung`d fel low , who hauing in his youth , spent his wits in the Art of loue , was now , become the Iest of wit for his looks were so demure , his words were so in print , his graces so in order , and his conceites so in tune : that he was , yea Iwis was he , and that he was , such a Gentleman for a Iester , that the Lady Folly , could neuer be better fitted for her entertainement of all Straungers . The picktooth in the mouth , the Flower in the Eare , the brush vpon the beard , the kisse of the hand , the stoupe of the head the leers of the eye , and what not , that was vnnéedefull , but he hadde so perfecte at his fingers endes , that euery she , was my faire Ladye , and scarce a Knight , was , Noble Sir , the Tabacco-pipe was at hand , when Trinidado , was not forgotten : and then a Tale of a roasted horse , to make an asse laugh , for lacke of witte : why , all thinges so well agreede togither , that at this square Table of people , or table of square people , this Man , ( made by rule ) could not be spared for a great summe . Now , his meate was most of a Goose to which he had so much sawce , that it would haue serued for many dishes : but , for that his talke , was to little purpose , and he himselfe but a picture of Idlenesse , I leaue him among his fellowe partners , and will tell you onwards of the next two , for the Table was fully furnished .