The Three Ladies of London Wilson, Robert This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A15519 of text S111803 in the English Short Title Catalog (STC 25785). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. Martin Mueller Incompletely or incorrectly transcribed words were reviewed and in many cases fixed by Nayoon Ahn Hannah Bredar This text has not been fully proofread EarlyPrint Project Evanston IL, Notre Dame IN, St.Louis, Washington MO 2017 Distributed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 Unported License A15519.xml A right excellent and famous comedy, called The three ladies of London. VVherein is notablie declared and set forth, how by the meanes of lucar, loue and conscience is so corrupted, that the one is married to dissimulation, the other fraught with all abhomination. A perfect patterne for all estates to looke into, and a worke right worthie to be marked. Written by R.W. as it hath been publiquely plaied. Wilson, Robert, d. 1600. 24 600dpi TIFF G4 page images University of Michigan, Digital Library Production Service Ann Arbor, Michigan 2007 January (TCP phase 1) 99847072 STC (2nd ed.) 25785. Greg, I, 85(b). 12082 A15519 2240904706

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 A right excellent and famous comedy, called The three ladies of London. VVherein is notablie declared and set forth, how by the meanes of lucar, loue and conscience is so corrupted, that the one is married to dissimulation, the other fraught with all abhomination. A perfect patterne for all estates to looke into, and a worke right worthie to be marked. Written by R.W. as it hath been publiquely plaied. Three ladies of London Three ladies of London. Pithie and pleasant comœdie of the three ladies of London. Wilson, Robert, d. 1600. [48] p. Printed by Iohn Danter, dwelling in Ducke Lane, neere Smithfield, At London : 1592. 1592

R.W. = Robert Wilson.

In verse.

Signatures: A-F4.

Running title reads: A pithie and pleasant comœdie of the three ladies of London.

The last leaf is blank.

Reproduction of a photostat of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery.

 A15519 shc The Three Ladies of London Wilson, Robert Nayoon Ahn Hannah Bredar 1581 play comedy shc no A15519 S111803 (STC 25785). 48 23276 0 0 0 0 0 0 0.00 A This text has no known defects that were recorded as gap elements at the time of transcription. Incorporated ~ 10,000 textual changes made to the SHC corpus by Hannah Bredar, Kate Needham, and Lydia Zoells between April and July 2015 during visits, separately or together, to the Bodleian, Folger and Houghton Libraries as well as the Rare Book Libraries at Northwestern University and the University of Chicago

A Right excellent and famous Comedy , called The Three Ladies of London .

WHEREIN IS NOTABLIE declared and set forth , how by the meanes of Lucar , Loue and Conscience is so corrupted , that the one is married to Dissimulation , the other fraught with all abhomination .

A perfect patterne for all Estates to looke into , and a worke right worthie to be marked . Written by R. W. as it hath been publiquely plaied .

AT LONDON , Printed by Iohn Danter , dwelling in Ducke Lane , neere Smithfield . 1592 .

The Prologue . TO sit on Honors seate , it is a loftie reach , To seeke for praise by making bragges , oft times doth get a breach . We list not ride the rowling rackes , that dims the christall skies , We mean to set no glimmering glance before your curteous eies : We search not Plutoes pensiue pit , nor taste of Limbo lake : We do not shew of warlike fight , as shield and sword to shake : We speak not of the powers diuine , ne yet of furious sprights : We do not seeke high hils to clime , nor talke of loues delights : We do not here present to you the threshar with his flayle , Ne do we here present to you the milk-maid with her payle : We shew not you of countrey toile , as hedger with his bill : We do not bring the husbandman to lop and top with skill : We pay not here the Gardners part to plant , to set and sow : You meruaile then what wares we haue to furnish out our show . Your patience yet we craue a while till we haue trimd our stall : Then yong and old come and behold our wares , & buy them all . Then if our wares shall seeme to you , well wouen , good & fine , We hope we shall your custome haue againe another time . FINIS .
A pythie and pleasant Comoedie of the three Ladies of London .
The first Act . Enter Fame sounding before Loue and Conscience . Loue . LAdie Conscience , what shall we say to our estates , to whom shall we complaine ? Or how shall we abridge such fates , as heapeth vp our paine ? T is Lucar now that rules the rout , t is she is all in all , t is she that holds her head so stout , in fine t is she that works our fall . Oh Conscience , I feare , I feare a day , that we by her and Usurie shall quite be cast away . Con. Indeed I feare the worst , for euerie man doth sew and comes from countreys strange and farre , of her to haue view . Although they ought to seeke true Loue and Conscience cleare : but Loue and Conscience few doo like , that leane on Lucars chaire . Men ought be rulde by vs , we ought in them beare sway : so should each neighbor liue by other in good estate alway . Loue . For Lucar men come from Italy , Barbarie , Turkie , From Iurie : nay the Pagan himselfe , Indangers his bodie to gape for her pelfe . They forsake mother , prince countrey , religion , kiffe and kin , Nay men care not what they forsake , so ladie Lucar they win . That we poore ladies may sigh to see our states thus turned and tost , and worse and worse is like to be , where Lucar rules the rost . Con. You say the truth , yet God I trust will not admit it so , that Loue and Conscience by Lucars lust shall catch an ouerthrow . Fame . Good ladies rest content , and you no doubt shall see them plagud with painfull punishment for such their crueltie : And if true Loue and Conscience liue from Lucars lust lasciuious , thou Fame a triple crowne will giue , which lasteth ay victorious . Con. God grant that Conscience keep within the bounds of right , and that vile Lucar doo not daunt her heart with deadly spight . Loue . And grant O God that Loue be found in citie , towne & countrie , which causeth wealth and peace abound , and pleaseth God almightie . Fame . But Ladies , is t your pleasure to walke abroad a while , and recreate your selues with measure your sorrowes to beguile . Con. Passe on good Fame , your steps doo frame , on you we will attend , and pray to God that holds the rod , our states for to defend . Exeunt . Enter Dissimulation , hauing on a Farmers long coate , and a cap , and his poll and beard painted motley . Dissim. Nay no lesse than a farmer , a right honest man , but my toung cannot stay me to tell what I am : Nay , who is it that knowes me not by my partie coloured head ? They may well thinke that see me , my honestie is fled . Tush , a figge for honestie , tut let that go . Sith men , women , and children my name and doings do know . My name is Dissimulation , and no base mind I beare , For my outward effects my inward zeale do declare : For men do dissemble with their wiues , & their wiues with them again , So that in the hearts of them I alwaies remaine : The child dissembles with his father , the sister with her brother , the mayden with her mistris , and the yongman with his louer , There is Dissimulation betweene neighbor and neighbor , friend and friend , one with another . Betweene the seruant and his maister , betweene brother and brother , then why make you it strange that euer you knew me , Seeing so often I raunge throughout euery degree ? But forget my basenes , i le towards London as fast as I can , to get entertainment of one of the three Ladies , like an honest man . Enter simplicitie like a Miller all mealy with a wand in his hande . simp. They say there is preferment in London to haue , Mas and there be i le be passing and braue : Why i le be no more a miller , because the maydens call me dusty pole , One thumps me on the necke , and another strikes me on the nole : And you see I am a hansome fellow , marke the comportnance of my stature , Faith i le go seeke peraduentures , and be a seruing creature . Dissim. Whither away good fellow ? I pray thee declare . simp. Marry I le clare thee , to London , would thou didst go there . Dissim. What if I did , would it be better for thee ? simp. I marry should it , for I loue honest company . Dissim. Agreed , there is a bargen , but what shall I call thee ? simp. Cause thou art an honest man i le tel thee , my name is Simplicity Dissim. A name agreeing to thy nature , but stay here comes more company . Enter Fraud with a sword and buckler like a Ruffin . Fraud . Huffe once aloft , and if I may hit in the right vaine , Where I may beguile easily without any great paine : I will flaunt it and braue it after the lusty swash , I le deceiue thousands , what care I who lie in the lash . Dissim. What Fraud well met , whither trauellest thou this way ? Fraud . To London , to get entertainment there if I may , Of the three ladyes , Lucar , Loue , and Conscience , What care I to serue the Deuill , so I may get pence ? simp O Fraud I know thee for a deceitfull knaue , And art thou gotten so bonfacion and braue ? I knew thee when thou dwelt at a place called Grauesend , And the guests knew thee too , because thou wast not their friend , For when thou wouldst bring reckoning to thy gesse , thou wouldst say twise so much , and sweare it cost thy dame no lesse . So thou didst deceiue them , and thy dame too : And because they spied thy knauerie , away thou didst goe . Then thou didst go into Hartfordshyre to a place called Ware , And because horses stood at hay for a pennie a night there , Do that thou couldst get nothing that kinde of way , thou didst greaze the horses teeth , that they should not eate hay , And wouldst tell the rider his horse no hay would eate , Do the man would say , giue him some other kinde of meate . Sir shall I giue him oates , fitches pease barley , or bread , But what ere thou gaust him , thou stolst three quarters when he was in bed , And how thou art so proud with thy filching & coosning art , But I thinke one day thou wilt be proud of the Rope and the Cart : take a wise fellowes counsell Fraud , leaue thy coosning and filching . Fraud . Thou horeson rascall swad auant , i le bang thee for thy brauling , how darest thou defame a Gentleman that hath so large a liuing ? Sim. A goodly Gentleman Ostler , I thinke none of you al beleeue him . Fraud What a clinchpoop drudge is this ? I can forbeare him no more . Let Fraud make as though he would strike him , but let Dissimulation step betweene them . Dissim. My good friend Fraud refraine , and care not therefore , t is Simplicitie that patch , he knoweth not good from bad , And to stand in contention with him , I would thinke you were mad But tell me Fraud tell me , hast thou been an Ostler in thy dayes ? Fraud . Faith I haue prooued an hundred such wayes , For when I could not thriue by all other trades , I became a squire to waite vpon iades . But then was then , and now is now , so let that passe , I am as thou seest me , what care ? the diuell what I was . Dissim. You say you go to London , in faith haue with you than . Simpl. Nay come and go with me , good honest man : For if thou goe with him , he will teach thee all his knauerie , there is none will go with him that hath anie honestie . A bots on thy motley beard , I know thee thou art Dissimulation , And hast thou got an honest mans coate to semble this fashion ? I le tell thee what , thou wilt euen semble & cog with thine own father : A couple of false knaues together , a theefe and a broker : thou makst townes folk beleeue thou art an honest man in the country , yet dost nothing but cog , lye , and foyst with hypocrisie . You shall be hanged together and go alone together for mee , For if I should go the folkes would say , we were knaues all three . Enter Sympatie and Vsurie hand in hand . Sim. Freend Usurie , I thinke we are welneare at our iournies end : But knowest thou whom I haue espied ? Vsurie . No . Sym. Fraud our great freend . Vsur. And I see another that is now come into my remembrance . Sym. Who is that ? Vsur. Mary M. Dame Dissimulation , a good helper , and our olde acquaintance . Simpl. Now all the cards in the stocke are dealt about , the foure knaues in a cluster comes ruffling out . Sym. What Fraud and Dissimulation happely found out , I meruaile what peece of worke you two goe about ? Fraud . Faith sir we met by chance , and towards London are bent Vsurie . And to London we hye it is our chiefest intent , to see if we can get entertainment of the Ladies or no . Dissim. And for the selfe same matter euen thether we goe . Sym. Then we are luckely well met , & seing we wish al for one thing , I would we our wills and wishing might winne . Simpl. Yes they will be sure to winne the diuell and all , Or else they le make a man to spue out his gall : O that vile Usury , he lent my father a little mony , & for breking one day , He tooke the fee-simple of his house and mill quite away : And yet he borrowed not halfe a quarter so much as it cost , But I thinck if it had been but a shilling it had been lost : So he kild my father with sorrow , and vndid me quite , And you deale with him sirs , you shall finde him a knaue full of spight , And Simon I perse I . Symonie too , he is a knaue for the nonce , He loues to haue twentie liuings at once : And if he let an honest man as I am to haue one , He le let it so deare that he shall be vndone . And he seekes to get Parsons liuings into his hand , And puts in some odd dunce that to his paiment will stand : So , if the parsonage be worth fortie or fiftie pound a yere , He will giue one twentie nobles to mumble seruice once a month there . Symonie and Vsurie both . What rascall is he , that speakes by vs such villanie ? Dissim.

Sirs , he was at vs erewhile too , it is no matter , it is a simple soule called Simplicitie .

Enter Loue and Conscience . But here come two of the Ladies , therefore make readie . Fraud . But which of vs all shall first breake the matter ? Dissim. Mary let Symonie doo it , for he finely can flatter . Vsur. Nay sirs , because none of vs shal haue preheminence aboue other , we will sing in fellowship together like brother and brother . Sym. Of troth agreed my masters let it be so . Simpl. Nay and they sing , i le sing too . The Song . Good Ladies take pittie , and graunt our desire . Conscience reply . Speake boldly and tell me what dost you require . Their reply . Your seruice good Ladies , is that we doo craue . Her reply . We like not nor list not such seruants to haue , Their replie . If you entertaine vs , we trusty will be , but if you refraine vs , then most vnhappy : We will come we will runne we will bend at our becke , we will plie , we will hie , for feare of a checke . Her replie . You doe faine , you doe flatter , you do lie , you doe prate , you will steale , you will robbe , you will kill in your hate : I denie you , I defie you , then cease off your talking , I refraine you , I disdaine you , therefore get you walking . Con. What Fraud , Dissimulation , Usurie , and Symonie , How dare you for shame presume so boldly , As once to shew your selues before Loue and Conscience , Not yeelding your lewd liues first to repentance ? Thinke you not that God will plague your wicked practises , If you intend not to amend your liues so farre amisse ? Thinke you not God knowes your thoughts words and works , And what secret mischiefs in your hearts there lurks ? then how dare you offend his heauenly maiestie , With your dissembling deceit , your flatterie , and your Usurie ? Fraud . Tut sirs , seeing lady Conscience is so scrupulous , I will not speake to her , for I see it is friuolous . But what say you lady Loue , will you graunt vs fauour ? Loue . I le no such seruants so ill of behauiour : Seruants more fitter for Lucar than Loue , And happie are they which refraine for to proue : Shamelesse , pittilesse , gracelesse , and quite past honestie , then who of good conscience but will hate your companie . Vsu. Here is scrupulous Conscience and nice Loue indeed , Tush , if they will not , others will , I know we shall speed . simp. But lady I stand still behind , for I am none of their company . Con. Why , what art thou ? oh I know thou art simplicitie . simp. I faith , I am simplicitie , and would faine serue ye . Con. No , I may haue no fooles to dwell with me . Simp. Why , then lady Loue will you haue me than ? Loue . Yes simplicitie thou shalt be my man . Simp. But shall I be your good man ? Loue . Yea my good man indeed . Simp. I but I would be your goodman , & swap vp a wedding with speed Loue . No , Loue may not marry in any case with Simplicitie , But if thou wilt serue me , i le receiue it willingly , And if thou wilt not , what remedie . Simp. Yes i le serue ye , but will you go in to dinner , for I am hungry ? Loue . Come lady Conscience , wil you walk home from this companye ? Con. With right good will , for their sights likes not me . Exeunt Loue and Conscience . Fraud . Fraud is the clubbish knaue , and Usury the hard harted knaue And Symonie the diamond dainty knaue , And Dissimulation the spitefull knaue of spade . Come there any moe knaues , come there any moe : I see foure knaues stand on a rowe . Let Fraud runne at him , and let Simplicitie runne in , and come out againe straight . Fraud . Away Drudge , be gone quickly . Simp. I wis , doe thrust out mine eyes with a Lady . Exit Simplicitie . Vsury . Did you euer see Gentleman so rated at before , But it skils not , I hope one day to turne them both out at dore . Symo. We were arrantly flowted , rayled at , and skoft in our kind , That same Conscience is a vild terrour to mans mind : Yet faith I care not , for I haue borne many more than these , When I was conuersant with the Clergie beyond the Seas , And he that will liue in this world must not care what such say , For they are blossoms blown down , not to be found after May . Fraud . Faith care that care will , for I care not a point , I haue shifted hitherto , and whilest I liue I will ieopard a ioynt : And at my death I will leaue my inheritour behind , That shall be of the right stampe to follow my mind : Therefore let them prate till their hearts ake , and spit out their euill , She cannot quaile me , if she came in likenesse of the great deuill . Dissim. Masse Fraud , thou hast a doughtie hart to make a hangman of , For thou hast good skill to helpe men from the coffe , But we were arrantly flowted , yet I thought she had not knowne me , But I perceiue though Dissimulation do disguise him , Conscience can see . What though Conscience perceiue it , all the world cannot beside ? Tush there be a thousand places where we our selues may prouide : But looke sirs , here commeth a lusty Lady towards vs in haste , But speake to her if you will , that we may be all plaste . Enter Lady Lucar . Vsu. I pray thee doe , for thou art the likeliest to speed . Dissim. Why then i le to it with a stomacke in hope of good speed , Faire Lady , all the Gods of good fellowship kisse ye ( I would say blesse ye ) Luc. Thou art very pleasant & ful of thy roperipe , I would say rhetorick Dissim. Lady you tooke me at the worst , I beseech you therefore , To pardon my boldnesse offending no more . Luc. We do , the matter is not great , but what wouldst thou haue ? How shall I call thee , and what is t thou doest craue ? Dissim. I am called Dissimulation , and my earnest request , Is to craue entertainment for me and the rest , Whose names are Fraud , Usurie , and Symonie , Great caters for your health , wealth , and prosperitie . Luc. Fraud , Dissimulation , Usurie , and Symonie , Now truly I thanke you for proffering your seruice to me : You are all hartily welcome , and I will appoint straight way , where each one in his office in great honor shall stay . But Usurie didst thou neuer know my grandmother the old Ladie Lucar of Uenice . Vsurie . Yes Madame , I was seruant unto her , and liued ther in blisse . Lucar . But why camest thou into England , seeing Uenice is a Citie where Usurie by Lucar may liue in great glorie ? Vsurie . I haue often heard your good grandmother tell , that she had in England a daughter , which her farre did excell : And that England was such a place for Lucar to bide , as was not in Europe and the whole world beside : then lusting greatly to see you and the countrey , she being dead , I made hast to come ouer to serue you in her stead . Lucar . Gramercie Usury , & doubt not but to liue here as pleasantly , and pleasanter too : but whence came you Symonie , tell me . sym. My birth , nurserie & bringing vp hithertoo hath bin in Rome , that ancient religious citie : On a time the monkes a friers made a banket , whereto they inuited me with certaine other English merchants , which belike were of their familiaritie . So talking of manie matters , amongst others one began to debate of the abundant substance still brought to that state . Soone said the encrease of their substance and wealth , came from other Princes , and was brought thether by stealth : But the friars and monkes with all the ancient companie , said that it first came , and is now vpholden by me Symonie : which the Englishmen gaue eare too , then they flattred a little too much , as English merchants can do for aduantage when encrease it doth tuch : And being a shipboord merrie , and ouercome with drinke on a day , the winde serued , they hoyst sayle , and so brought me away : and landing here , I heard in what great estimation you were , made bold to your honor to make my repaire . Lucar . Wel Symonie , I thank thee , but as for Fraud & Dissimulation I know their long continuance , and after what fashion . Therefore Dissimulation , you shall be my steward , An office that euerie mans case by you must be preferd . And you Fraud shall be my rent-gatherer , my letter of leases & my purchaser of land , so that manie olde bribes will come to thy hand . And Usurie because I know you be trustie , you shall be my secretarie , to deale amongst merchants , to bargen and exchange money . And Symonie , because you are a slie fellow , & haue your tongue liberall , we will place you ouer such matters as are Ecclesiasticall And though we appoint sundrie offices where now ye are in , yet ioyntly we meane to vse you together ofttimes in one thing . All . Ladie we rest at your commaund in ought we can or may . Lucar . Then master Dauie to my pallaice hast thee away , and will Craftie Conueyance my butler to make readie The best fare in the house , to welcome thee and thy companie : but stay Dissimulation , my selfe will go with thee . Gentlemen i le goe before , but see in anie case , so soone as ye please resort to my place . Exeunt , Dissim . & Lucar . sym. Doubt not faire Ladie , we will not long absent be . Vsurie . Fellow Symonie this fell out pat , so well as heart could wish , we are cunning anglers , we haue caught the fattest fish , Certainly it is true that her grandmother told . Here is good to be done by vse of siluer and gold . And seeing we are so well setled in this countrey , Rich and poore shall be pincht whosoeuer come to me . sym. Sirra , being at Rome , and dwelling in the Friarie , they would talke how England yerely sent ouer a great masse of money : and that this little Yland was more worth to the Pope , than three bigger Realmes that had a great deale more scope : For here were smoke pence , peter pence , and powle pence to be paid , besides much other money that to the Popes vse was made . Why , it is but lately since the Pope receiued this fine , Not much more than 33. yeares since , it was in Queene Maries time . But England had neuer knowen what this great had meant , Had frier Austen from the Pope not hether been sent . For the Pope hearing it to be a little Yland , sent him with a great Armie ouer . And winning the victorie , he landed about Rye , Sandwych , or Douer . Then he erected lawes hauing the people in subiection , and for the most part , England hath paid tribute so long . I hearing of the great store and wealth in the Countrey , could not chuse but perswade myselfe the people loued symonie . Vsurie . But stay your talke till some other time , we forget my Ladie , Sym. Of troth you say true , for she bad vs make hast , but my talke me thought sauoured well , and had a good tast . Exeunt ambo . Enter Mercadore like an Italien Merchant . Merc. Me iudge in my minda dat me be not verie far from de place where dwells my Ladie Lucar : But here come vne shentie mans so he doo . Enter Dissimulation . Pray ye heartely Signior leta me speaka you , Pray ye do ye know vn shentleman dat meshier Dauie doo call Dissim. Yes sir , my selfe am he , and what would you withall ? Merca. Good a my friend meshier Dauie , helpa me pray ye heartely , for haue sum acquaintance a with Madona Lucar your Lady . Sir vpon condition I will , therefore I would you should know , That on me and my fellowes you must largely bestow : Whose names are Fraud , Usurie , and Symony , men of great credit and calling , And to get my Ladies good wil and theirs it is no small thing But tell me can you be content to winne Lucar by Dissimulation ? Merca. A good a my friend axa me no shush a question , For he dat will liue in de world must be of the world sure , And de world will loue his owne , so long as the world indure . Enter Lucar . Dissim. I commend you wit Sir , but here comes my Lady . Merca. Come hider , heer s too tree Crownes for de speke me . Dissim. Well sir I think you , I will go speake for you . Lucar . Maister Dauy Dissimulation , what new acquaintance haue ye gotten there ? Dissim. Such a one Madam that vnto your state hath great care : And surely in my minde the Gentleman is worthie To be well thought on for his liberality , bounty , & great care to seeke yee . Lucar . Gentleman , you are hartily welcome , how are you called , I pray you tell vs ? Merca. Madona , me be a Mershant and be cald senior Merkadorus . Lucar . But I pray you tell me what Countryman . Merca. Me be Madona an Italian . Lucar . Yet let me trouble ye , I beseech ye whence came ye ? Merca. For serua voutra boungrace , me come form Turkie . Lucar . Gramercie , but senior Mercadore dare you not vndertake , Secretly to conuey good commodities out of this country for my sake ? Merca. Madona , me doe for loue of you tinke no paine too mush , And to doe any ting for you me will not grush : Me will a forsake a my Fader , Moder , King , Country , & more den dat , Me will lie and forsweare my selfe for a quarter so much as my hat . What is dat for loue of Lucar me dare or will not doe : Me care not for all the world , the great Deuil , nay make my God angry for you . Luc. You say wel Mercadorus , yet Lucar by this is not throwly won But giue eare and I will shew what by thee must be done : Thou must carry ouer Wheate , Pease , Barly , Oates , and Fitches , and all kind of graine , Which is well sold beyond sea and bring such merchants great gaine . Then thou must carry beside lether , tallow , beefe , bacon , bell mettell , and euery thing , And for these good commodities , trifles into England thou must bring : As Bugles to make bables , coloured bones , glasse beades to make bracelettes withall : For euery day Gentlewomen of England doe aske for such trifles from stall to stall , And you must bring more , as Amber , Ieat , Corall , Christall , and euerie such bable , That is slight pretty and pleasant , they care not to haue it profitable . And if they demaund wherefore your wares and merchandize agree , You must lay Ieat will take vp a straw , Amber will make one fat , Corrall will looke pale when you be sicke , and Christall wil stanch blad , So with lying , flattering , and glosing you must vtter your ware , And you shall winne me to your will , if you can deceitfully sweare . Merca. Tinke ye not dat me haue carried ouer corne , Ledar , Beefe and Bacon too all t is while : And brought hedar many bables dese country men to beguile ? Yes , shall me tell you Madona , me and my countrimans haue sent ouer , Bell mettell for make ordinance , yea and ordinance it selfe beside , Day my country and other countries bee so well furnisht as dis country , and has neuer beene spide . Luc. New I perceiue you loue me , and if you continue in this still , You shal not only be with me , but command me when & where you will . Merca. Lady , for to do all dis and more for you me be content : But I tinke some skall knaue will put a bill in inda Parliament , For dat such a tings shall not be brought heere . Luc. Tush Mercadore , I warrant thee , thou needest not to feare What and one do ? there is some other will flatter and say , They do no hurt to the country , and with a sleight fetch that bill away . And if they doe not so , that by acte of Parliament it be past , I knew you merchants haue many a sleight and subtill cast , So that you will by stealth bring ouer great store , And say it was in the Realme a long time before . For being so many of these trifles here as there is at this day , You may increase them at pleasure , when you send ouer sea , And doe but giue the searcher an odde , bribe in his hand , I warrant you he wil let you scape roundly with such things in and out the land But senior Mercadore , I pray you walke in with me , And as I find you kind to me , so will I sauour ye , Merca. Me tanke my good Lady . But M. Dissimulation , heere is for your fellows , Fraud , Usurie , and Symonie , and say me giue it dem. Exeunt Lucar and Mercadore , Dissim. I marry Sir , these bribes haue welcome beene , Good faith I perceiue , Dissimulation , Fraud , Symonie and Usurie shal liue In spite of Loue and Conscience , though their hearts it doth greeue . Mas maisters , he that cannot lie , cog , dissemble and flatter now a dayes , Is not worthy to liue in the world , nor in the Court to haue praise . Enter Artifex an Artificer . Art . I beseech you good M. Dissimulation , befreend a poore man , To serue Lady Lucar and sure sir . i le consider hereafter if I can . Dissim. What , consider me doest thou thinke that I am a bribe taker ? Faith it lies not in me to further thy matter . Art . Good M. Dissimulatten helpe me , I am almost quite vndone , But yet my liuing hitherto with Conscience I haue wonne , But my true working , my early rising and my late going to bed , Is scant able to find myselfe , wife and children drie break For there be such a sort of strangers in this country . That worke fine to please the eye , though it be deceitfully , And that which is sleight , and seemes to the eye well , Shall sooner than a peece of good worke be proffered to sell , And our Englishmen be growne so foolish and nice , That they will not giue a penny aboue the ordinary price . Dissim. Faith I cannot helpe thee , t is my fellow Fraud must pleasure thee Heere comes my fellow Fraud , speake to him , and i le do what I can . Enter Fraude . Art . I beseech you be good vnto me right honest Gentleman . Fraud . Why and whereto ? what wouldst thou haue me doe ? Art . That my estate you will so much prefar , As to get me to be a workman to Lady Lucar : And sir I doubt not but to please you so well for your paine , That you shall thinke very well of me if I in her seruice remaine . Dissim. Good fellow Fraud do so much for I see he is very willing to liue And some peece of worke to thee for thy paines he will giue . Fraud . Well vpon that condition I wil but I care not so much for his gifts , As that he will by my name declare how he came by his great thrifts , And that he will set out in every kind of thing , That Fraud is a good husband , and great profit doth bring . Therefore the next peece of worke that thou doest make , Let me see how deceitfull thou wilt do it for my sake . Art . Yes sir I will sir , of that be you sure , I le honour your name while life doth endure . Dissim. Fellow Fraud , here comes a Cittizen as I deeme . Fraud . Nay rather a Lawyer , or some petty fogger , he doth seeme . Enter a Lawyer . Law . Gentleman , my earnest suite is to desire ye , That vnto your Ladies seruice you would helpe me : For I am an attorney of the law and pleader at the bar , And haue a great desire to plead for Lady Lucar . I haue beene earnest Sir , as is needfull in such a case , For feare an other come before me , and obtaine my place . I haue pleaded for Loue and Conscience till I was wearie , I had in my Clients , and many matters , that made my purse light , and my heart heauie . Therefore let them plead for Conscience that list for me , I le plead no more for such as bring nothing but beggery . Dissim. Sir , vpon this condition that you le keepe men in law , Ten or twelue yeeres for matters not worth a straw : And that you will make an ill matter seeme good and firmable in deed , Faith I am content for me part that you shall speed . Fraud . Nay fellow thou knowest that Symonie and Usurie hath an ill matter in law at this time , Naw if thou canst handle the matter so subtill and fine , Is to plead that ill matter good and firmable at the bar , Then thou shalt shew thy selfe worthy to winne Lady Lucar . Therefore tell me if you can and will do it or no . Yf you doe it , be sure to get my Ladies good will ere you go . Dissim. By my honestie well remembred , I had quite forgot , T is about that , a fortnight ago sell cut the matter I wot . Law . Tush sir , I can make blacke white , and white blacke againe , Tut he that will be a Lawyer , must I aue a thousand waies to faine , And many times we Lawyers do one befreend another , And let good matters slip , tut we agree like brother and brother , Why sir , what shall let vs to wrest and turne the law as we list , Seeing we haue them printed in the palmes of our fist ? Therefore doubt you not , but make bold report , That I can , and will plead their ill cause in good kind of sort . Fraud . Of troth how likest thou this fellow Dissimulation ? Dissim. Mary I like him well , hee is a cunning Clarke , and one of our profession . But come sir , go with vs and we will prefer you . Art . Good M. Fraud remember me . Fraud Leaue thy prating , I will I tell thee . Art . Good M. Dissimulation thinke on me . Dissim. Thou art too importunate and greedy . Fraud . Come after dinner , or some other time when we are at leysure . Dissim . Fraud and Lawyer exeunt . Art . Come after dinner , or some other time indeed , For full little do they thinke of a poore mans need : These fellowes will do nothing for pittie and loue , And thrise happy are they that hath no need them to proue . God he knowes the world is growne to such a stay , That men must vse Fraud and Dissimulation too , or beg by the way . Therefore i le do as the most doth , the fewest shall laugh me to scorne , And be a fellow amongst good fellows to hold by S. Lukes horne . ( Exit . Enter Simplicitie and Sinceritie . Sinc. Good coossen Simplicitie do something for me . Simp. Yes faith coossen Sinceritie , i le do any thing for thee ? What wouldst thou haue me do for thee canst tell that ? Mas I cannot tell what shouldst do for me , except thou wouldst giue me a new hat . Sinc. Alas I am not able to giue thee a new . Simp. Why then I maruell how thou doest doe : Doest thou get thy liuing amongst beggars from doore do doore ? Indeed coossen Sinceretie , I thought thou wast not so poore . Sinc Nay cossen Simplicity I got my liuing hardly but yet I hope iust And with good Conscience too although I am restrained from my lust . But this it is coosen Simplicitie , I would request you do for me : Which is , to get Lady Loue , and Lady Conscience hand to latter : That by their menes I may get some benefice to make me liue the better Simp. Yes I le do so much for thee coosen , but hast thou any heere ? Sincer. I behold they are ready drawne , if assined they were . Let Simplicitie make as though he read it , and looke quite ouer , meane while let Conscience enter . Simp. Let me see coossen , for I can read : Mas t is brauely done , didst thou it indeed ? Mistris Conscience , I haue a matter to bequest you too . Con. What is t ? I doubt not but t is some wise thing if it be for you , Simp. Mary my cossen Sincerity , wad bestre to scribe these papers here That he may get some preferment , but I know not where . Con. Be these your letters ? what would you haue me doe , and how shall I call ye ? Sinc. Lady , my name is Sinceritie . Con. And from whence came ye ? Sinc. I came from Oxford , but in Cambridge I studied late , Hauing nothing , thought good if I could , to make better my state . But if I had in stead of Diuinitie , the Law , Astronomie , Astrologie , Phislognomie , Palmestrie , Arithmetike , Logicke , Musicke , Phisicke , or any such thing , I had not doubted then , but to haue had some better liuing . But Diuines that preach the word of God sincerely and truly , Are in these dayes little or nothing set by . God grant the good Preachers be not taken away for our vnthankfulnes There was neuer more preaching and lesse following , the people lyue so amisse : But what is he that may not on the Sabbath day attend to heare Gods word ? But we wil rather run to bowls , sit at the alehouse , than one hour affoord : Telling a tale of Robin hood , sitting at Cards , playing at kettels , or some other vaine thing , That I feare Gods vengeance on your head it will bring . God graunt amendment , but Lady Conscience I pray , In my behalfe vnto Lucar do what ye may . Simp. Mas my coossen can say his booke well , I had not thought it , Hes worthy to haue a benefice , and it will hit . Con. God be blessed Sinceritie , for the good comfort I haue of thee , I would it lay in vs to pleasure such beleeue me . We will do what we can : But vltra posse non est esse , you know , It is Lucar that hath brought vs poore soules so low . For we haue sould our house , we are brought so poore , And feare by her shortly to be shut out of doore . Yet to subscribe our name we will with all our hart , Perchaunce for our sake some thing she will impart : Come hither Simplicitie , let me write on thy backe . Simp. Here is the right picture of that fellow that sits in the corner . Enter Hospitalitie while she is a writing . Hospi. Lady , me thinks you are busie . Con. I haue done sir , I was setting my hand to a letter to Lucar for our freend Sinceritie . But I would lady Loue were heere too . Hosp. She is at home with mee , but if it please you , so much in her behalfe i le doo . Con. I pray you hartily , and it shall suffise that turne well inow : Good Simplicitie , once more thy body do bow . Simp. I thinke you le make me serue to be a washing blocke for you . I would do it for you , but am afraid yonder boy will mocke me . Hos. No i le warrant thee . Con. Here take thy letters Sinceritie , & prosperous be they to thee . Sinc. I yeeld you most hartie thanks my good lady . Hosp. I Conscience , pleaseth it you to walke home and dine with me . Con. Thankes my good friend Hospitalitie . But tell me sir , haue you inuited to dinner any straungers ? Hos. No sure , none but lady Loue , and three or foure honest neighbors . Simp. Mas my lady is gotten to dinner already , I beleeue she rose at ten of clocke she is so hungry . What if I should come to dinner , is there any good cheare ? Hos. There s bread & beare , one ioynt of meat , & welcome thy best fare . Simp. Why , art thou cald Hospitalitie , & hast no better chear than that Faith and thou hast no more meat for so many , thei le nere be fat , what if my cosen nay my selfe alone to dinner should come ? where should my lady and the rest dine ? for I would eat vp euerie crum . Thou art an old miser doest thou keepe no better fare in thy house ? Hast no great bagge pudding , nor hogges face , that is called sowse Hosp. My friend , Hospitalitie doth not consist in great fare and banquetting . But in doing good vnto the poore , and to yeeld them some refreshing . Therefore if thou and Sinceritie will come and take part , Such as there is i le giue you with a free and willing hart . Exeunt Hospitalitie and Conscience . Simp. He speakes well coossen , let s go to dinner with him . the olde man shall not thinke but we will pleasure him . Faith he might haue richer fellowes to take his part , But he shall neuer haue better eating fellowes if hee would swelte his heart . Here be they that will eate with the proudest of them . For my mother said I could eate as much as fiue men . Nay I am sure the gift of eating is giuen to me , For our Maydes would neuer beleeue I put all the meate in my belly , But yonder comes a Knaue , my lady Lucars cogging man , Giue me your letters coossen , i le prefer you if I can . Enter Dissimulation . Sinc. Dissimulation , out vpon him , he shall be no spokeman for me . Simp. Why then you are a foole coossen Sinceritie , Giue me am then , for I know he le do it for me , sinc. Seeing thou wilt haue it , heere receiue it , but it greeues my hart that this dissembling wretch should speake on my part . simp. Heare ye sir , I would request to liuer this letter , to your good wholesome mistars lady Lucar . Dissim. Where hadst thou it tell me ? simp. Mary of my coossen Sinceritie . Dissim Why I haue nothing to do in it , t is not to me thou should come I haue not to do with Sincerities matters , t is my fellow Symonies roome . sinc. Thou art a kin to the lawyer , thou wilt do nothing without a fee , But thou , Fraud , Usurie , nor yet Symonie shall haue nothing of me . And thou wilt do it , do it , and thou wilt not chuse : Both thee and their dealing I hate and refuse . Dissim Why , and I am not bound to thee so farre as knaue go , And therefore in despite of thee and thy coossen , there thy letters be , What , thinkst thou by captious words to make me do it ? Let them deliuer your letters that hath a stomacke to it simp. Faith coossen , hes such a tester in and semblation knaue ; that he le do nothing les some bribery he haue . There s a great many such promoting knaues that gets their liuing , With nothing els but facing , lying , swearing and flattering . Why he has a face like a blacke dogge , and blusheth like the backe side of a chimney . I was not for nothing thy Godfathers a cogging name gaue thee . Enter Lady Lucar . But here comes his mistrisse lady Lucar , Now coossen i le liuer your letter . Mistrisse lady Lucar , heere s a letter for ye . Lucar . Hast thou a letter for me ? simp. Yes by saint Marie . How say you coossen , she reades your letter ? And you can flatter , perhaps you shall speed better . sinc. Thou speakst the truth Simplicitie , for flatterers now a dayes , liue Gentlemen-like , and with prating get praise . Lucar . Sir , I haue read the tenure of your letter , wherein I find , that at the request of Loue and Conscience I should shew my selfe kinde , And bestow some spirituall liuing on you , parsonage , or benefice , For you stand greatly in need , as appeares by this . And trust me would do for you , but it lies not in me , For all such matters are referred to my seruant Symonie . You must speake to him , and if you can get his good will , then be sure of mine , their minds to fulfill . sinc. Lady , I shall neuer get his goodwill for want of abilitie , For he will do nothing except one bring money . And if you graunt it not , then it is past all doubt , I shall be neuer the nearer , but go quite without . Dissim. Madam , i le tell you what you may giue , Not hurting your selfe whereby he may liue , And without my fellow Symonies consent , Yf to follow my mind you are any whit bent . Lucar . Pray thee what is it ? for thou knowest while for their house I am bargaining , And it be neuer so little , I must seeme to do something . Dissim. Why , haue not you the parsonage of S. Nihal to bestow ? yf you giue him that , Symonie shall neuer know . Lucar . Thou saiest true indeed : draw neare Sinceritie , Loe for their sakes I will bestow frankly on thee , The parsonage of saint Nihil i le giue thee to pleasure them withall , And such another to it , if thou watch till it fall . simp. My lady axes you when you will take possession of your house , and lend the rest of the money . Lucar . What are they so hastie ? belike they spent it merrily . simp. Faith no , for they would eate it if they could get it , when they are a hungrie . But you may be happy , for you haue sped wel to day ( speaking to Sincerity You may thanke God and good company that you came this way , The parsonage of S. Michels , bi r Lady if you haue nothing els , you shall be sure of a liuing , beside a good ring of Bels . Coossen , i le tell thee what thou shalt do , sell the bels and make money , sinc. Thou maiest well be Simplicitie for thou shewest thy folly . I haue a parsonage , but of what ? of saint Nihil , and Nihil is nothing . Then where is the Church , or any Bels for to ring ? Thou vnderstandest her not , she was set for to flout , I thought comming in their names I should go without , T is calle to see that Lucar loues not Loue and Conscience : But God I trust will one day yeeld her iust recompence . simp. Cosen , you said that some thing to me you would giue , When you had gotten preferment of Lucar to liue : And I trust you will remember your poore cosen simplicitie , you know to lady Conscience and cry body I did speake for you . sinc. Good Simplicitie hold thy peace , my state is yet nought , I will helpe thee sure , if euer I get cought . But here comes sir Nicholas Nemo , to him I will go , And see if for their sakes he will any thing bestow . Enter sir Nicholas Nemo . Nemo . You come from Loue and Conscience , as seemeth me here , My speciall good friends , whom I account of most deare , And you are called Sinceritie , your state shews the same , you are welcome to me for their sakes , and for your owne name , And for their sakes you shall set what I will do for you , Without Dissimulation , Fraud , Usurie , or Symonie : For they will do nothing without some kind of gaine , such cankered corruption in their harts doth remaine . But come in to dinner with me , and when you haue dinde , you shall haue . Presently go out . Sinc. You shall haue , but what ? a liuing that is blowne downe with the winde . Simp. Now cossen dismember your frends , seeing two liuings you haue One that this man promist , and another that lady Lucar gaue . Mas you l be a iolly man and you had three or foure more , Let s beg apace coossen , and we shall get vs great store . Do thou get some more letters , and i le get them scribed of mistars Loue and Conscience , And we le go beg liuings together , we le beg no small pence . How saiest thou coossen wut do so much ? If we can speake faire and semble , we shall be plaguie rich . Sinc. Good Simplicitie content thee , I am neuer the better for this , But of force must leaue off , seeing how vaine it is : Nor bootes it sinceritie to looke for reliefe . So few regard that to me is a greefe . This was Nicholas Nemo , and no man hath no place . then how can I speed well in this kind of case ? And no man bid me to dinner , when shall I dine ? Or how shall I find him , where , when , and at what time ? wherefore the reliefe had and to be had is small , But to speake truth , the reliefe is nothing at all . But come Simplicitie , let vs go see what may be had , Sinceritie in these daies was sure borne to be sad . Simp. Come let s go to dinner coossen , for the Gentleman I think hath almost dinde . But if I get vittels inough i le warrant you i le not be behind . sinc. What if thou canst not get it , then how wilt thou eate ? simp. Mary on this fashion , with both hands at once , ye shall see when I get meate . sinc. why his name was Nemo , and Nemo hath no beeing . simp. I beleeue coossen you be not hungry , that you stand prating , Faith i le go do him a pleasure , because the hath need . why and he le needs haue meate eate , a shall see how i le feed , I beleeue he will not did me come againe to him , Mas and he do , a shall find a fellow that has his eating . Exeunt ambo . Enter Vsurie and Conscience . Vsu. Lady Conscience , is there any body within your house can you tell ? Con. There is no body at all be ye sure , I know certainely well . Vsu. You know when one comes to take possession of any peece of land There must not be one within , for against the order of lawe it doth stand . Therefore I thought good to aske you , but I pray you thinke not amisse : For both you , and almost all other knowes , that an old custome it is . Con. You say truth , take possession when you please , good leaue haue ye Doubt you not , there is neither man , woman , nor child , that will or shall hinder you . Vsu. Why then I will boldly enter . Exit . Con. Who is more bold than Usurie to venter ? He maketh the matter dangerous where is no need at all , But he thinks it no perillous to seeke euery mans fall : Both he and Lucar hath so pincht vs , we know not what to doe , Were it not for Hospitalitie , we knew not whither to goe . Great is the miserie that we poore ladyes abide , And much more is the crueltie of Lucar and Usury beside . O Conscience , thou art not accounted of , O Loue , thou art little set by , For almost euery one , true loue , and pure conscience doth denie : So hath Lucar crept into the bosome of man , woman and child , That euery one doth practise his deare friend to beguile . But God graunt Hospitalitie be not by them ouer prest , In whom all our stay and chiefest comfort doth rest : But Usurie hates Hospitalitie and cannot him abide , Because he for the poore and comfortlesse doth prouide . Here he comes , that hath vndone many an honest man , And daily seeks to destroy , deface , and bring to ruine if he can . Now sir , haue you tooke possession as your deare lady wild your Enter Vsurie . Vsu. I haue done , and I thinke you haue receiued your money , But this to you : my lady wild me to bid you prouide some other house out of hand , For she would not by her will haue Loue and Conscience to dwell on her land : Therefore t is best to prouide yer So shall you saue charges , for a lesse house may serue yt . Con. I pray you hartily let vs stay there , and we will be content to giue you tenne pound a yeare , which is the olde rent . Vsu. Ten pound a yeare , that were a state ieast , Yf I should take the olde rent to follow your request : Nay after fortie pound a yeare you shall haue it for a quarter , And you may thinke too , you are befriended in this matter : But no longer than for a quarter to you i le set it , For my lady perhaps will sell it , or to some other wil let it . Con. Well , sith we are driuen to this hard and bitter drift , We accept it , and are contended to make bare and hard shift . Vsu. Then get you gone , and see at a day your rent be readie . Con. We must haue patience perforce , seeing there is no remedie . Exit Conscience . Vsu. What a foole was I to let it so reasonable ? I might so well haue had after threescore , as such a trifle , For seeing they were distressed they would haue giuen largely . I was a right sot , but i le be ouerseene no more beleeue me . Enter Mercadore . Merca. Ah my good a friend M. Usurie , be my trot you be very well mette : Me be much beholding to you for your good will , me be in your debt . But a me take a your part so mich against a scal shurle cald Hospitalitie : Did speake against you , and sayes you bring good honest men to beggery . Vsu. I thanke you sir , did he speake such euill of me as now you say ? I doubt not but to reward him for his trechery one day . Merca. But I pray tell a me how fare a my lady all dis while ? Vsu. Marie well sir , and here she comes if my selfe I do not beguile . Enter Lucar . Luc. What seneor Mercadore , I haue not seene you this many a day , I maruell what is the cause you kept so long away Merca. Shall me say to you Madama , dat me haue had such businesse for you in hand , For send away good commodities out of dis little countrey England : Mee haue now sent ouer brasse , copper pewter , and many odar ting , And for dat me sall ha for Gentlewomans fine trifles , that great profit will bring . Lucar . I perceiue you haue beene mindfull of me , for which I thanke yee : But Usurie tell me , how haue you sped in that you went about ? Vsu. Indifferently Lady , you need not to doubt , I haue taken possession , and because they were destitute , I haue let it for a quarter my tale to conclude . Marry I haue a little raised the rent , but it is but after forty pound by the yeare : But if it were to let now , would let it more deare . Luc Indeed it is but a triffle , it makes no matter , I force it not greatly , being but for a quarter . Merca. Madona me a you vat you sall do , let dem to straunger dat are content , To dwell in a little roome , and pay mush rent : For you know da Frenchmans and Flemings in dis country be many , So dat they make shift to be ten houses in one very gladly . And be content a for pay fiftie or threescore pound a yeare , For dat which da Englishmans say twenty marke is too deare . Luc. Why seneor Mercadore , thinke you not that I Haue infinite numbers in London that my want doth supply . Beside in Bristow , Northampton , Norwich , Westchester , Canterbury , Douer , Sandwich , Rie , Porchmouth , Plimmouth , and many mo , That great rents vpon little roome do bestow . Yes I warrant you , and truly I may thanke the straungers for this , That they haue made houses so deare , whereby I liue in blisse . But seneor Mercadore , dare you to trauell vndertake : And go amongst the Moores , Turkes , and Pagans for my sake ? Merca. Madona , me dare go to de Turkes , Moores , Pagans , and more too , What do me care and me go to da great deuill for you . Commaund a me Madona , and you sall see plaine , Data for your sake me refusa no paine . Luc. Then seneor Mercadore I am forthwith to send yee From hence , to search for some new toyes in Barbary or in Turkie , Such trifles as you thinke will please wantons best : For you know in this country t is their chiefest request . Merca. Indeed de Gentlewomans heere buy so much vaine toyes , Dat me straungers laugh a to tinke wherein da haue deir ioyes . Fair Madona me will search all da strange countries me can tell , But me will haue sush tings dat please dese Gentlewomans vell . Luc. Why then let vs prouide things ready to hast you away . Merca. A voutro commaundemento Madona me obay . Exeunt . Enter Symonie , and Peter Pleaseman like a Priest . Sym. Now proceed with thy tale and i le heart thee . Peter . And so sir as I was about to tell you , This same Presco , and this some Cracko , be both my parishioners now And sir they fell out maruellously about you : The same Cracko tooke your part , and said that the Clergie Was maintained by you , and vpholden very worshipfully . So sir , Presco he would not graunt that in any case , But said that you did corrupt the clergie , and dishonor that holy place . Now sir I was weary to heare them at such great strife , For I loue to please men so long as I haue life : Therefore I beseech your maistership to speake to Lady Lucar , That I may be her Chaplaine , or else to serue her . Sym. What is your name ? Peter . Sir Peter . Sym. What more ? Peter . Forsooth Pleaseman . Sym. Then your name is sir Peter Pleaseman . Peter . Yea forsooth . Sym. And please woman too now and then , Peter . You know that homo is indifferent . sym. Now surely a good scholler in my iudgement , I pray you of what Uniuersitie were ye ? Peter . Di no Uniuersitie truely . Mary I haue gone to schoole in a Colledge , where I haue studied two or three places of Diuinitie : And all for lady Lucars sake , sir you may stedfastly beleeue me . Sym. Nay I beleeue ye , but of what religion are you can ye tell ? Peter . Mary sir of all religions , I know not my selfe very well . Symo. You are a Protestant now , and I thinke to that now wil grant Peter . Indeed I haue beene a Catholicke , mary now for the most part a Protestant . But and if my seruice may please her , harke in your care sir , I warrant you my religion shall not offend her . Symo. You say well , but if I helpe you to such great preferment , Would you be willing for my paine , I shall haue yearely halfe the gaine . For it is reason you know that if I helpe you to a liuing , That you should vnto me be somewhat beholding , Peter . Yea sir , and reason good , i le be as your mastership please , I care not what you do , so I may liue at ease . Sym. Then this man is answered , sir Peter pleasman come with me And i le preferre you straight way to my ladie . Peter . Oh sir I thanke yt . Exeunt . Enter Simplicitie with a basket on his arme . Simp. You thinke I am going to market to buy rost meat , do ye not ? But see how you are deceiued , for well I wot , I am neither going to the Butchers to buy mutton , veale nor beefe , But am going to a bloudsucket , and who is it ? faith Usurie that theefe . Why sirs , t was no marckle he vndood my father that was called Plaine dealing , when he has vndone my Lady and Conscience too with his vsuring . Trust him not sirs , for he le flatter bonacion and sore , till he has gotten the Bakers vauntage , then he le turne you out of doore . Enter Dissimulation . Dissim. Simplicitie , now of mine honestie very hartily well met , simp. What Semblation sweare not , for thou swearest by that thou couldst neuer get : Thou haue honestie now ? thy honestie is quite gone : Mary thou hadst honestie at xi. of clocke , but it went from you ere noone : why , how canst thou haue honestie , when it dare not come me thee ? I warrant Semblation , he that has lesse honestie than thou , may defie thee : thou hast honestie sir reuerence , come out dogge , where art thou ? Euen as much honestie as hath my mothers great hoggish sow : No faith thou maist put out mine eye with honestie , & thou hadst it here , Hast not left it at the alehouse in gage for a pot of strong beere ? Dissim. Pray thee leaue prating Simplicitie , and tell me what thou hast there ? Simp. Why , t is nothing for thee , thou doest not deale with such kinde of ware . Sirra there is no deceit in a bag pudding , is there ? nor in a plaine pudding pie : Sirra i le tell thee , I will not tell thee , and yet i le tell thee , now I member me too : Canst tell , or wouldst know whither with this parlament I go ? Faith euen to suckswill thy fellow Usurie I am sent , With my lady Loues gowne , and lady Conscience too , for a quarters rent . Dissim. Alas poore lady Loue , art thou driuen so low ? Some little pittance on thee i le bestow . Hold Simplicitie , carry her three or foure Duckats from me , And commend me to her euen very hartily . simp. Ducke egges , yes i le carry them , and t were as many as this would holde . Dissim. Tush thou knowest not what I meane , take this , t is golde . simp. Mas t is gold indeed , why , wilt lend away thy golde , hast thou no more need ? I thinke thou art growne plaguy rich with thy dissembling trade , But i le carry my ladie the gold , for this will make her well apaid . Dissim. And Sir , carry lady Loues gowne backe againe , for my fellow Usurie Shall not haue her gowne , I am sure so much he will befriend me . simp. But what shal Conscience gown do , shall I carry it backe again too ? Dissim. Nay , let Conscience gowne and skin to Usurie go . If no body cared for Conscience more than I , They would hang her vp like bacon in a chimney to drie . simp. Faith I told thee thou caredst not for Conscience nor honestie : I thinke indeed it will neuer be the death of thee . But i le go conspatch my arrant so soone as I can tell ye , For now I ha gold , I would faine haue some good meat in my belly . Exit . Dissim. Nay i le hie me after , that I may send back lady Loues gown . For I would not haue Loue bought quite out of towne . Mary for Conscience tut , I care not two strawes , Why I should take care for her , I know no kind of cause . Exit . Enter Hospitalitie . Hosp. Oh what shall I say ? Usurie hath vndone mee , and now he hates me to the death . And seekes by all meanes possible for to bereaue me of breath . I cannot rest in any place , but he hunts and followes me euery where . That I know no place to abide , I liue so much in feare . But out alas , here comes he that will shorten my daies , Enter Vsurie . Vsu. O haue I caught your olde gray beard you be the man whome the people so praise : You are a franke Gentleman , and full of liberalitie . Why , who had all the praise in London or England , but M. Hospitality ? But i le maister you now i le hold you a groat . Hos. What will you kill me ? Vsu. No , i le do nothing but cut thy throate . Hos. O helpe , helpe , helpe for Gods sake . Enter Conscience running apace . Con. What lamentable crie was that I heard one make ? Hos. O lady Conscience , now or neuer helpe me . Con. why , what wilt thou do with him Usurie ? Vsu. what will I do with him ? mary cut his throat and then no more Con. O doest thou not remember that thou shalt dearly answer for Hospitalitie that good member , reframe it therefore . Vsu. Refraine me no refraining nor answere me no answering , The matter is answered well inough in this thing , Con. For Gods sake spare him , for cuntry sake spare him , for pitie sake spare him ; for Loue sake spare him , for Conscience sake forbeare him . Vsu. Let cuntry , pittie , Loue , Conscience , & all go in respect of my selfe , He shall die , come ye feeble wretch , i le dresse ye like an elfe . Con. But yet Usurie , consider the lamentable crie of the poore , For lacke of Hospitalitie , fatherlesse children are turned out of doore . Consider againe the complaint of the sicke , blind and lame , That will crie vnto the Lord for vengeance on thy head in his name . Is the feare of God so farre from thee that thou hast no feeling at all ? O repent Usurie , leaue Hospitalitie , and for mercie at the Lords hande call . Vsu. Leaue prating Conscience , thou canst not mollifie my hart , He shall in despite of thee and all other feele his deadly smart . Yet i le not commit the murther openly , But hale the villaine into a corner , and so kill him secretly . Come ye miserable drudge , and receiue thy death . Hale him in . Hos. Helpe good lady , helpe , he will stop my breath . Con. Alas I would helpe thee , but I haue not the power . Hos. Farewell lady Conscience , you shall haue Hospitalitie in London nor England no more . Con. O helpe , helpe helpe some good bodie . Enter Dissimulation and Simplicitie hastily . Dissim. Who is that calles for helpe so hastily ? Con. Out alas thy fellow Usurie hath killed Hospitalitie . Simp. Now Gods blessing on his heart , why t was time he were dead , He was an olde churle , with neuer a good tooth in his head . And he nere kept no good cheare that I could see : For if one had not come at dinner time hee should haue gone away hungrie . I could neuer get my belly full of meat , He had nothing but beefe , bread and cheese for me to eate . Now I would haue had some Pyes or bag puddings with great lumps of fat : But he did keepe my mouth well enough from that . Faith and he be dead , he is dead , let him go to the deuill and he will . Or if he will not go thither , let him euen lie there still . I le nere make a lamentation for an olde churlde , For he has liude a great while , and now t is time that he were out of the worlde . Enter Lucr . Luc. What Conscience , thou lookst like a poore pidgeon puld of late . Con. what Lucar , thou lookst like a whore full of deadly hate . Luc. Alas Conscience , I am sorie for thee , but cannot weepe . Con. Alas Lucar , I am sorie for thee that thou canst no honestie keep : But such as thou art , such are thy attenders on thee , As appeares by thy seruant Usurie , that hath killed that good member Hospitalitie . Simp. Faith Hospitalitie is killed and hath made his will , And hath giuen Dissimulation three trees vpon a high hill . Luc. Come hither Dissimulation , and hie you hence so fast as you may And helpe thy fellow Usurie to conuey himselfe out of the way , Further , will the Iustices , if they chaunce to see him , not to know him . Or know him , not by any meanes to hinder him . And they shall commaund thrise so much at my hand . Go trudge , runne out away , how doest thou stand ? Dissim. Nay good lady , send my fellow Simonie , For I haue an earnest suite to ye . Luc. Then Symonie go do what I haue wild . Sym. I runne Madam your mind shall be fulfild . exit . Con. Well well Lucar , uideo & taceo , I see and say nothing : But I feare the plague of God on thy head it will bring . Dissim. Good lady graunt that Loue be your waiting maid , For I thinke beeing brought so low , she will be well apaid . Luc. Speakest thou in good earnest , or doest thou but dissemble ? I know not how to haue thee , thou art so variable . Dissim. Lady , though my name be Dissimulation , yet I speake bona fide now , Yf it please you my petitions to allow . Enter Symonie . Luc. Stand by , i le answere thee anon : what newes Symonie Bringest thou of thy fellowe Usurie ? Sym. Mary madam good newes : for Usurie hes close Hid in a rich mans house , that will not let him lose , Untill they see the matter brought to a good ende , For Usurie in this countrey hath many a good friend : And late I saw Hospitalitie carried to buryeng . Luc. I pray thee tell me who were they that followed him ? sym. There were many of the clergie and many of the nobilitie And many right worshipfull rich Cittizens , Substantiall , gratious and very wealthie Farmars . But to see how the poore followed him it was a wonder , Neuer yet at any buriall was seene such a number . Luc. But what say the people to the murder ? sym. Many are sorry , and say t is great pittie that he was slaine : But who be they ? the poore beggarly people that so complaine : As for the other they say t was a cruell bloudy fact , But I perceiue none will hinder the murderer for this cruell act . Luc. T is well , I am glad of it , now Dissimulation if thou canst get Loues good will . I am contented with all my heart to graunt there vntill . Dissim. Thankes to you ladie , and I doubt not but she With a litle intreatie will thereto agree . simp Now I haue it in my breeches , and very well can tell , That I and my ladie with mistars Lucar shall dwell . But if I be her seruing fellow , and dwell there , I must learne to cog lie , foyst and sweare . And surely I shall neuer learne , marie and t were to lie a bed all day , To that kind of lying I should giue a good say . Or if t were to eate ones meat , then I knew what for to do . How say you sirra , can I not , i le be drudge by you ? Luc. Now to you little mouse , did I not tell you before , That I should ere t were long turne you both out of doore ? How say you pretie soule , is t come to passe , yea or no ? Me thinkes I haue puld your peacockes plumes somewhat low . And yet you be so stout as though you felt no griefe , But ere it be long you will come puling to me for reliefe . Con. Well Lucar well , you know pride will haue a fall : What auaileth it thee to win the world , and loose thy soule withall Yet better it is to liue with little , and keepe a conscience cleare . Which is to God a sacrifice , and accounted of most deare . Luc. Nay Conscience , and you be bookish I le leaue ye , And the cold ground to comfort your feet i le bequeath ye . Me thinke you being so deeply learned , may do well to keepe a schoole . Why , I haue seene so cunning a Clarke in time to proue a foole . Exeunt Lucar and Symonie . Simp. Sirra , if thou shouldst marry my Lady thou wouldst keepe her braue . For me thinkes thou art a plaguie rich knaue . Dissim. Rich I am , but as for knaue keepe to thy selfe . Come giue me my Ladies gowne thou asseheaded elfe . simp. Why i le go with thee , for I must dwell with my Lady . Dissim. Packe hence away , Iacke Drums entertainment , she wil none of thee . Simp. Simp. This is as my coossen and I went to M. Nemos house , There was no man to aid a dog drinke , or to change a man a louse , But lady Conscience ( nay who there ) scratch that name away , Can she be a lady that is turned out of all her array ? Do not be cald no more lady , and if you be wise , For euery bodie will mocke you , and say you be not woorth two butter flies . Con. What remedie Simplicitie ? I cannot do withall : But what shall we go do ? or whereto shall we fall ? Simpl. Why to our vittails , what else haue we to do ? And marke if I cannot eate twenty times so much as you . Con. Yf I go lie in an Inne , it will greeue me to see , The deceit of the Ostler , the powling of the Tapster , as in most houses of lodging they be , If in a brewers house , at the suer plentie of water , and scarcenes of malt I should greeue , wherby to enrich themselues , all other with vnsauory thinne drinke they deceiue . If in a eannets house , with his great deceit in tanning , If in a Weauers house , with his great coosening in weauing . If in a Bakers house , with light bread , and very euill working . If in a Chaundlers with deceitfull weights , false measures , selling for a halfepeny that is scant worth a farthing . And if in an Alehouse , with the great resort of poore vnthrifts , that with swearing at the Cardes consume their liues , Hauing greater delight to spend a shilling that way , than a groat at home to sustaine their needie children and wiues . For which I iudge it best forme to get some solitary place , where I may with patience this my heauie crosse imbrace , And learne to sell broome , whereby to get my liuing , Using that as a quiet meane to keepe my selfe from begging : wherefore Simplicitie if thou wilt do the like , settle thy selfe to it , and with true labour thy liuing do seeke . Exit Conscience . Simp. No faith M. Conscience i le not for and I should sell broome , the Maides would coossen me too competually with their olde shoone . And too I cannot worke , and you would hang me out of the way . For when I was a miller , Will did grind the meale while I did play . Therefore i le haue as easie an occupation as I had when my Father was aliue , Faith i le go euen a begging , why t is a good trade a man shall be sure to thriue . For I am sure my praiers will get bread and cheese , and my singing wil get me drinke . Then shall not I do better than M. Conscience ? tell me as you thinke . Therefore God Pan in the Kitchen , and God Pot in the buttery , Come and resist me , that I may sing with the more meliositie . But sire , marke my cauled countenance when I begin , But yonder is a fellow that gapes to bite me , or els to eate that which I sing . Why thou art a foole , canst not thou keepe thy mouth strait togethere And when it comes snap at it as my fathers dogge wod do at a liuer . But thou art so greedie , That thou thinkest to eate it before it come nie thee . Simplicitie singes Simplicitie sings , and sperience doth proue , No biding in London for Conscience and Loue , The Country hath no peare . Where Conscience comes not once a yeare And Loue so welcome to euery towne , as winde that blowes the houses downe . Sing downe adowne , downe , downe , downe . Simplicitie sings it , and spertence doth proue , No dwelling in London , no biding in London for Conscience and Loue . Simp. Now sirra , hast eaten vp my song ? and ye haue ye shall eate no more to day , For euery body may see your belly is growne bigger with eating vp our play . He has fild his belly but I am neuer a whit the better , Therefore i le go seeke some vittels , and member for eating vp my song you shall be my debter . Enter Mercadorus the Merchant , and Gerontus a Iewe . Geron, But seneor Mercadorus tell me , did ye serue me well or no ? That hauing gotten my money would seeme the country to forgo : You know I lent you two thousand duckats for three monthes space , And ere the time came you got another thousand by flatterie , and thy smooth face . So when the time came that I should haue receiued my money , You were not to be found , but were fled out of the countrey , Surely if we that be Iewes should deale so one with an other , We should not be trusted againe of our owne brother But many of you Christians make no conscience to falsifie your faith and breake your day . I should haue beene paid at three monthes end , and now it is two yeare you haue beene away . Well I am glad you be come againe to Turkie now I trust I shall receiue the interest of you so well as the principall Merca . A good a maister Geronto pray hartly bare a me a little while , And me shall pay ye all without any deceit or guile : Me haue much businesse for buy pretie knacks to send to England . Good sir , beare a me foure fiue daies , mele dispatch your money out of hand . Geron . Seneor Mercadore , I know no reason why , because you haue dealt with me so ill , Sure you did it not for need , but of set purpose and will : And to beare with ye foure or fiue dayes goes sore against my mind , Least you should steale away , and forget to leaue my money behind . Merca. Pra hartly do tink no such ting my good friend a me , Be me trot and fact mele pay you all euery peny . Geron. I le take your faith and troth once more , & trust to your honesty In hope that for my long tarrying you will deale wel with me . Tell me what good ware for England you do lacke . Merca. O no lacke some pretie fine toy , or some fantasticke new knack For da Gentlewomans in England buy mush tings for fantasies You pleasure a me sir , vat me meane a dare buy . Geron. I vnderstand you sir , but keepe tutch with me , and i le bring you to great store , Such as I know you came to this country for As Muske , Amber , sweete Powders , fine odors pleasant perfumes , and many such toyes , Wherein I perceiue consisteth that country Gentlewomans ioyes . Besides I haue Diamonds , Rubies , Emerodes , Saphires , Smaradines , Opalles Onacles , Iacynthes , Aggattes , Turkasir , and almost of all kind of pretious stones : And many fit things to sucke money from such greene headed wantons . Merca. Fatta me good friend me tanke you most hartly alway , Me shall a content your debt within dis two or tree day . Geron. Well , see you hold your promise , and another tune you shall commaund me . Come , go we home , where our commodities you may at pleasure see , Enter Conscience , with broomes at her backe , singing as followeth . New broomes , greene broomes , will you buy any , Come maidens , come quickly , let me take a penny . My broomes are not steeped , but very well bound : My broomes be not crooked , out smooth cut and round . I wish it should please you to buy of my broome , Then would it well case me , if market were done . Haue you any olde bootes , or any olde shooes : Pouch rings or Buskins , to cope for new broome . If so you haue maydens , I pray you bring hither : That you and I friendly may bargen together . New broomes , greene broomes , will you buy any : Come Maydens , come quickly , let me take a penny . Conscience speaketh . Thus am I driuen to make a vertue of necessitie , And seeing God almightie will haue it so . I imbrace it thankfully Desiring God to mollifie and lesten Usuries hard heart , That the poore people feele not the like penurie and smart : But Usurie to made tollerable amongst Christians as a necessary thing So that going beyond the limits of our law , they extort , and manie to miserie bring . But if we should follow Gods law , we should not receiue aboue that we lend . For if we lend for reward how can we say we are our neighbors french O how blessed shall that man be that lends without abuse : But thrise accursed shall he be that greatly couets vse : For he that couets ouer much insaciate is his minde , So that to periurie and crueltie he wholly is inclinde : Wherewith they sore oppresse the poore , by diuers sundrie waies , Which makes them crie vnto the Lord to shorten cutthrotes dayes : Paule calleth them theeues that doth not giue the needie of their store , And thrise accurst are they that take one penny from the poore , But while I stand reasoning thus I forget my market cleane , And sith God hath ordained this way , I am to vse the meane , Sing againe . Haue ye any olde shoes , or haue ye any bootes , haue ye any buskins , or will ye buy any broome . Who bargens or chops with Conscience , what will no customer come ? Enter Vsurie . Vsu. Who is it that cries broomes , what Conscience selling broomes aboue the street ? Con. What Usurie , it is great pittie thou art vnhanged yet . Vsu. Beleeue me Conscience , it greeues me thou art brought so low . Con. Beleue me Usurie it greeues me thou wast not hanged long ago For if thou hadst beene hanged before thou slewest Hospitalitie , Thou hadst not made me and thousands more to feele the like pouertie . Enter Lucar . Luc. Me thought I heard one crie broomes along the dore . Vsu. I mary Madam it was Conscience , who seemes to be offended at me verie sore . Luc. Alas Conscience art thou become a poore broome wife ? Con. Alas Lucar , wilt thou continue a harlot all dayes of thy life ? Luc. Alas me thinks it is a griefe to thee that thou art so poore . Con. Alas Lucar , me thinkes it is no paine to thee that thou still platest the whore . Luc. Well well Conscience , that sharpe tongue of thine hath not beene thy furtherance . If thou hadst kept thy tongue , thou hadst kept thy friend , and not haue had such hinderance . But wottest thou who shall be married to morrow ? Loue with my Dissimulation : For I thinke to bid the gesse , they are by this time well nie gone , And hauing occasion to buy brooms , I care not if I buy them all . Con. Then giue me a shilling , and with a good will haue them you shall . Luc. Usurie , carry in these broomes , and giue them to the mayd . For I know of such store she will be well apaid . Exit Vsurie with the broomes . Hold Conscience , though thy broomes be not worth a quarter so much , Yet to giue thee a peece of gold I do it not grutch : And if thou wouldst follow my mind , thou shouldst not liue in such sort , But passe thy daies with pleasure store of euery kind of sport . Con. I thinke you lead the world in a string , for euery body followes you , And sith euery one doth it , why may not I do it too : For that I see your free heart , and great liberalitie , I maruell not that all people are so willing to follow ye . Luc. Then sweet soule , marke what I would haue thee do for me , That is to decke vp thy poore Cottage hansomely : And for that purpose I haue fiue thousand crownes in store , And when it is spent thou shalt haue twise so much more . But onely see thy roomes be neat when I shall thither resort , With familiar friends to passe the time in sport : For the Deputie , Constable , and spitefull neighbors do spie , prie , and eye about my house : That I dare not be once merrie within , but still mute like a mouse . Con. My good ladie Lucar , I will fulfill your mind in euery kind of thing . So that you shall be welcome at all houres , whosoeuer you bring . And all the dogs in the towne shall not barke at your doings I trow , For your full pretence and intent I do throughly know , Euen so well as if you had opened the very secrets of your hart , For which I doubt not but to rest in your fauour by my desart . But here comes your man Usurie . Enter Vsurie . Luc. I le send him home for the money . Usurie , steppe in and bring me the boxe of all abhomination that stands in the window : It is little and round , painted with diuers colours , and is pretty to the show . Vsu. Madam , is there any superscription thereon ? Luc. Haue I not tolde you the name : for shame get you gone . Well my wench , I doubt not but our pleasures shall excell , Seeing thou hast got a corner fit where few neighbors dwell , And they be of the poorest sort which sits our turne so right : Because they dare not speake against our sports and sweet delight , And if they should ( alas ) their wordes would nought at all be wayd , And for to speake before my face , they will be all afraid . Enter Vsurie with a painted Boxe of ynke in his hande . Vsu. Madam , I deeme this same be it , so farre as I can gesse . Luc. Thou saiest the truth , t is it in deed , the outside shewes no lesse . But Usurie I thinke Dissimulation hath not seene you since your coming home . therefore go see him , he will reioice when to him you are showne , It is a bussie time with him , helpe to further him if you can . Vsu. He may commaund me to attend at boord to be his man . Exit Vsurie . Here let Lucar open he Boxe , and dip her finger in it , and spot Conscience face , saying as followeth . Luc. Hold here my sweet , and then ouer to see what doth want , the more I do behold this face , the more my mind doth daunt : This face is of fauour , these cheekes are reddy and white , these lips are cherrie red , and full of deepe delight , Quicke rowling eyes , her temples high , and forhead white as snow , Her eye-browes seemely set in frame , with dimpled chinne below : O how beautie hath adorned thee with euery seemly hue , In limmes , in lookes , with all the rest proportion keeping due : Sure I haue not seene a finer soule in euery kind of part , I cannot chuse but kisse thee with my lips , that loue thee with my heart . Con. I haue told the crownes , and here are iust so many as you to me did say . Luc. Then when thou wilt thou maiest depart , and homewards take thy way , And I pray thee make haste in decking of thy rome , that I may find thy lodging fine , when with my friend I come . Con. I le make speed , and where I haue with broomes ofttimes been roming . I meane henceforth not to be seene , but sitte to watch your comming . Exit Conscience . Luc. O how ioyfull may I be that such successe doe finde , No maruell , for pouertie and desire of Lucar do force them followe my minde : Now may I reioice in full contentation , That shall marry Loue with Dissimulation : And haue spotted Conscience with all abhomination , But I forget my selfe , for I must to the wedding , Both vauntingly and flauntingly , although I had no bidding . Exit Lucar . Enter Dissimulation and Coggin his man , and Symonie . Cog. Sir , although you be my maister , I would not haue you to vpbrayd my name , But I would haue you vse the right skill and title of the same : For my name is neither scoggin nor scragging , but ancient Coggin : Sir my ancestors were fiue of the foure worthies , And your selfe are of my neare kinne . Dissim. Indeed thou saiest true , for Coggin is a kinsman to Dissimulation . But tell me haue you taken the names of the guestes ? Cog. Yea sir . Dissim. Let me heare after what fashion . The names of the guestes tolde by Coggin . Cog. There is first and formost maister Forgery , and master Flattery Maister Periurie , and maister Iniurie : Maister Crueltie , and maister Pickerie , maister Bribery , and maister Tretcherie : Maister Wincke at wrong , and maister Headstrong , mistris priuy theft , and maister deepe Deceit , maister Abhomination , and mistris Fornication his wife , Fardinando false-waight , and Frissit false-measure his wife . Dissim. Stay , Fornication & Frissit false-measure are often familiar with my Lady Lucar , and one of them she accounts her friend : Therefore they shall sit with the bride in the middest , and the men at each ende : Let me see , there are sixteene , euen as many as well neare is able : to dine in the sommer parlor at the playing table : Beside my fellow Fraud , and you fellow Symonie , But I shall haue a great misse of my fellow Usurie . Sym. Take no care for that , he came home yesterday euen no longer , His pardon was quickly begged , and that by a Courtyer . And sirra , since he came he had like to haue slaine good neighborhood and liberalitie , Had not true frendship stept betwene them verie sodainly : But sirra , he hit true frendship such a blow on the eare , That he keepes out of all mens sight , for shame or for feare . Dissim. Now of my troth it is a prettie iest , hath he made true friendship hide his head ? Sure if it be so , good neighborhood and liberalitie for feare are fled . Sym. But fellow Dissimulation tel me , what Priest shall marry ye ? Dissim. Mary that shall an old frend of mine M. Doctor Hipocrisie . Sym. Why will you not haue sir Peter Pleasman to supply that want ? Dissim. Indeed sir peter is a good Priest , but Doctor Hipocrisie is most auncient . But cossen Coggin , I pray you go to inuite the gesse , And tell them that they need not disturbe their quietnes : Desire them to come at dinner time , and it shall suffise . because I know they will be loth so early to rise . But at any hand will Doctor Hipocrisie , That he meet vs at the Church very early : For I would not haue all the world to wonder at our match . It is an olde prouerbe , t is good hauing a hatch before the doore , but i le haue a doore before the hatch . Cog. Sir , I will about it as fast as I can hie , I le first to that scalde bald knaue Doctor Hipocrisie . Exit Coggin . Sym. But fellow Dissimulation , how darest thou marry with Loue , bearing no loue at all ? For thou doest nothing but dissemble , then thy loue must needs be small . Thou canst not loue but from the teeth forward , Sure the wife that marries thee shall highly be prefard . Dissim. Tush tush , you are a mery man , I warrant I know what I be And can yeeld a good reason for it I may say vnto you . What and if the world should chaunge , and runne all on her side ? Then might I by her meanes still in good credite abide . Thou knowest Loue is auncient , and liues peaceably without any strifs , Then sure the people will thinke well of me because she is my wife . Sym. Trust me thou art as craftie to haue an eye to the maine chance , As the taylor that out of seuen yards stole one and a halte of durance . He serued at that inne she deuil in the likenesse of S. Ratherme , Such Taylors will thriue , that out of a dublet and a paire of hose can steale their wise an Aporne . The Dublet sleeue three fingers were too short , The Uenecians came nothing neare the knee . Dissim. Then for to make them long inough I pray thee what did hee ? Sym. Two peeces set an handfull broad to lengthen them withall , Yet for all that below the knee by no meanes they could fall . He seeing that , desired the partie to buy as much to make another paire , The partie did , yet for all that he stole a quarter there . Dissim. Now sure I can him thanke , he could his occupation : My fellow Fraud would laugh to heare one drest of such a fashion , But fellow Symonie , I thanke you hartily for comparing the Taylor to me , As who should say his knauerie and my pollicy did agree . Sym. Not so , but i was the willinger to tell thee , because I know it to be a true tale , And to see how Artificers do extoll Fraud , by whom they beare their sale . But come let vs walke , and talke no more of this , Your pollicie was very good , and so no doubt was his . Exeunt . Enter mercadorus reading a letter to himselfe , and let Gerontus the Iew follow him , and speake as followeth . Geron. Seneor Mercadore , why do you not pay me ? thinke you I will be mockt in this sort ? This is three times you haue flowted me , it seemes you make thereat a sport . Truly pay me my money and that euen now presently , Or by mightie Mahomet I sweare , I will forthwith arrest yee . Merca. Ha pray a beare wit me tree or foure daies , me haue much businesse in hand . Me be troubled wit letters you see heere dat comes from England . Geron. Tush this is not my matter , I haue nothing therewith to do , Pay me my money or i le make you , before to your lodging you go . I haue officers stand watching for you , so that you cannot passe by , Therefore you were best to pay me , or else in prison you shall lie . Merca. Arrest me dou skal knaue , mary do if dou dare , Me will not payde one penny , arrest me , doo , me do not care , Me will be a Turke , me came hedar for dat cause , Darefore me care not for de so much as two strawes . Geron. This is but your wordes , because you would defeat me , I cannot thinke you will forsake your faith so lightly . But seeing you driue me to doubt , i le trie your honestie : Therefore be sure of this , i le go about it presently . ( exit . Merca. Mary farewell and be hangd , sitten seal drunken Iew , I warrant ye me shall be able very vell to pay you . My Ladie Lucar haue sent me heere dis letter , Praying me to coossen de Iew for loue a her . Darefore mele go to get a some Turks apparell . Dat me may coossen da Iew , and end dis quarrell . ( Exit . Enter three Beggers , that is to say , Tom Baggar , Wily Will , and Simplicitie singing . The Song . To the wedding , to the wedding , to the wedding go we , To the wedding a begging , a begging all three . TOm Beggar shall braue it , and wily Will too , Simplicitie shall knaue it where euer we go : With lustily Brauado , take care that care will , To catch it , and snatch it , we haue the braue skill . Oar fingers are lime-twigges , and Barbars we be , To catch sheeres from hedges most pleasant to see : Then to the Ilewife roundly we set them to sale , And spend the money merily vpon her good ale . To the wedding , to the wedding , to the wedding go we , To the wedding a begging , a begging all three . Tom. Now truly my maisters , of all occupations vnder the sun , begging is the best , For when a man is wearie , then may he lay him downe to rest . Tell me , is it not a Lords life in sommer to lowse one vnder a hedge , And then leauing that game , may go clepe and coll his Madge ? Or els may walke to take the wholesome ayre abroad for his delight , Where he may tumble on the grasse , haue sweet smels , and see manie a pretie sight . Why , an Emperour for all his wealth can haue but his pleasure , And surely I would not loose my charter of libertie , for all the Kinges treasure . Will . Shall I tell thee Tom Beggar , by the faith of a Gentleman , this auncient freedome I would not forgo , If I might haue whole mynes of money at my will to bestow . Then a mans mind should be troubled to keepe that he had , And you know it were not for me , it would make my valiant mind mad . For now we neither pay Church money , subsidies , fifteens , scot nor lot , All the payings we par , is to pay the good ale pot . Simp. But fellow beggers you coossen me , & take away at the best meat . And leaue me nothing but browne bread , or finne of fish to eat . When you be at the alehouse , you drinke vp the strong ale , and giue me small beare : You tell me t is better than the strong , to make me sing cleare . Indeed you know with my singing I get twise as much as ye , But and you serue me so you shall sing your selues , and beg alone for me . Tom. We stand prating heere , come let vs go to the gate , Mas I am greatly afraid we are come somewhat too late , Good gentle M. Porter , your reward so bestow , On a poore lame man , that hath but a patre of legges to go . Will . For Gods sake good mas Porter , geue somewhat to the blind , that the way to the Alehouse in his sleepe cannot find . Tom. For the good Lords sake take compassion on the poore . Enter Fraud with a basket of meat on his arme . Fraud . How now sirs , you are vengeance hastie , can ye not tarrie But stand bauling so at my Ladies doore . Heere take it amongst you , yet t were a good almesse deed to giue you nothing . Because you were so hastie and kept such a calling . Tom. I beseech yt not so sir , for we are verie hungrie , that made vs so earnest , but we are sorie we troubled ye . Simp. looke how greedie they be , like dogs that fall a snatching , You shall see that I shal haue the greatest almes , because I said nothing Fraud knowes me , therefore he le be my friend I am sure of that : they haue nothing but leane beefe , ye shall see I shall haue a peece that s fatte . Maister Fraud you haue forgot me pray ye let me haue my share , Fraud . Faith all is gone , thou comst too late , thou seest al is giuen there By the faith of a Gentleman I haue it not , I would I were able to giue thee more . Simp. O sir , I saw your armes hang out at a stable dore . Fraud . Indeed my armes are at the Painters , belike he hung them out to dry I pray thee tell me what they were , if thou canst them descrie . Sim. Mary there was neuer a scutchin , but there was 2 trees rampant And then ouer them lay a sower tree parsant , With a man like you in a greene field pendant , Hauing a hempten halter about his necke , with a knot vnder the left eare , because you are a yonger brother . Then sir , there stands on each hand holding vp the crease , I worthie Ostlers hand in a dish of grease : Besides all this , on the helmet stands the hangmans hand , Readie to turne the Ladder whereon your picture did stand : Then vnder the helmet hung tables like chaines , and for what they are I cannot deuise . Except it be to make you hang fast , that the crowes might picke out your eyes . Fraud . What a swad is this ? I had beene better to haue sent him to the backe dore , to haue gotten some almes amongst the rest of the poore . Thou praist thou canst not tell what , or els art not well in thy wit , I am sure my armes are not blazd so farre abroad as yet . Simp. O yes sir , your armes were knowne a great while ago , For your elder brother Deceit did giue those armes too , Mary the difference is all , which is the knot vnder the left eare . the Painter saies when he is hangd , you may put out the knot without feare . I am sure they were your armes , for there was written in Romane letters round about the hempten collar , Giuen by the worthie valiant Captaine maister Fraud the Ostlar . Now God be with ye sir , i le get me euen close to the backe dore . Farewell Tom begger , and wily Will , I le beg with you no more . Exit . Tom. O farewell Simplicitie , we art very loth to lose thy companie . Fraud . Now he to gone giue care to me . You seeme to be sound men in euery ioint and him . And can ye liue in this sort to go vp and downe the country a begging ? O base minds I trow , I had rather hacke it out by the high way side , Than such miserie and penurie still to abide . Sirs , if you will be rulde by me , and do what I shall say , I le bring ye where we shall haue a notable fine pray . It is so sirs , that merchant , one Mercadorus , is comming from Turky And it is my Ladies pleasure that he robbed should be , She hath sworne that we shall be all sharers alike , And vpon that willed me some such companions as you be to seeke . Tom O worthy Captaine Fraud , you haue wonne my noble hart : You shall see how manfully I can play my part . And here s wily Will , as good a fellow as your heart can wish , To go a fishing with a cranke through a window , or to set lime twigges to catch a pan , pot , or dish . Will . He saies true for I tell you I am one that will not giue backe , Not for a double shot out of a blacke Iacke . O sir , you bring vs a bed when ye talke of this geare , Come , shall we go worthy Captaine ? I long till we be there . Fraud . I , let vs about it , to prouide our weapons ready , And when the time serues , I my selfe will conduct yee . Tom. O valiantly spoken , come wily Will , two pots of ale we le bestow On our Captaine couragiously for a parting blow . Exeunt . Enter the Iudge of Turkie , with Gerontus and Mercadorus . Iudge . Sir Gerontus , because you are the plaintife , you first your mind shall say , Declare the cause you did arrest this merchant yesterday . Geron. Then learned Iudge attend ; this Mercadorus , whome you see in place , Did borrow two thousand duckats of me , but for a fiue weeks space . Then sir , before the day came , by his flatterie he obtained one thousand more , And promist me at two monthes ende I should receiue my store : But before the time expired , he was closely fled away , So that I neuer heard of him , at least this two yeeres day , till at the last I met with him , and did the money did demand , Who sware to me at fiue daies end he would pay me out of hand . The fiue daies came , and three daies more , then one day he requested : I perceiuing that he flowted me , haue got him thus arrested : And now he comes in Turkish weedes to defeat me of my monie , But I trow he will not forsake his faith , I deeme he hath more honestie . Iudge . Sir Gerontus you knowe , if any man forsake his faith , King , country , and become a Mahomet . All debts are paide , t is the law of our Realme , and you may not gaine-say it . Geron. most true ( reuerend iudge ) we may not , nor i will not against our Lawes grudge . Iudge . Semo : Mercadorus is this true that Gerontus doth tell ? Merca. My Lord iudge , de matter , and circumstance be true me know well . But me will be a Turke , and for dat cause me came here . Iudge . Then it is but a folly to make many words . Senior Mercadorus draw neere . Lay your hand on this booke , and say after me . Merca. With a good will my Lord iudge , me be all readie . Geron. Not for any deuotion , but for Lucars sake of my monie . Iudge . Say I Mercadorus doo vtterly renounce before all the world , my duety to my Prince , my honour to my parents , and my good will to my country . Merca. Furthermore I protest and sweare to be true to this countrie during life , and thereupon I forsake my Christian faith . Geron. Stay there most puissant iudge . Senior mercadorus , consider what you doo , Pay me the principall , as for the interest , I forgiue it you : And yet the interest is allowed amongst you Christians , as well as in Turky Therefore respect your faith , and do not seeme to deceiue me . Merca. No point da interest , no point da principall . Geron. Then pay me the one halfe , if you will not pay me all . Merca. No point da halfe , no point denere , me will be a Turke I say , me be weary of my Christs religion , and for dat me come away . Geron. Well seeing it is so , I would be loth to heare the people say , it was long of me Thou forsakest thy faith , wherefore I forgiue thee franke and free : Protesting before the iudge , and all the worlde , neuer to demaund peny nor halfepeny . Merca. O sir Gerontus , me take a your proffer , and tanke you most hartily . Iudge . But seneor mercadorus , I trow ye wil be a Turke for all this . Merca. Seneor no , not for all da god in inda world , me forsake a my Christ . Iudge . Why then it is as sir Gerontus said , you did more for the greedines of the mony . Then for any zeale or good will you bare to Turky . Merca. Oh sir , you make a great offence , You must not iudge a my conscience . Iudge . One may iudge and speake truth , as appeares by this , Iewes seeke to excell in Christianitie , & Christians in Iewishnes . Exit . Mer. Uell vell , but me tanke you sir Gerontus wit all my very hart . Geron. Much good may it do you sir , I repent it not for my part . But yet I would not haue this holden you to serue another so , Seeke to pay & keep day with men so a good name on you wil go . Exit . Merca. You say vel sir , it dus me good dat me haue coosend de Iew , Faith I would my lady Lucar de whole matter now knew . Uat is dat me well not do for her sweet sake , But now me will prouide my iourney toward England to take . Me be a Turke , no , it will make my lady Lucar to smile , When she knowes how me did da scal Iew beguile . Exit . Enter Lucar , and Loue with a vizard behinde . Luc. Mistrisse Loue , I maruell not a little what coy conceit is crept into your head , that you seeme so sad and sorrowfull since the time you first did wed , tell me sweet wench what thou aylest , and if I can ease thy griefe , I will be prest to pleasure thee in yeelding of reliefe . Sure thou makest me for to thinke somewhat hath chaunst amisse . I pray thee tell me what thou aylest , and what the matter is . Loue . My griefe alas I shame to show , because my bad intent Hath brought on me a iust reward , and eke a strange euent . Shall I be counted Loue , nay rather lasciuious Lust , Because vnto Dissimulation I did repose such trust ? But now i mone too late , and blush my hap to tell , My head in monstrous sort alas , doth more and more still swell . Luc. Is your head then swolne good mistris Loue , I pray you let mee see . Of truth it is behold a face that seemes to smile on me : It is faire and well fauored , with a countenance smooth and good , Wonder is the worst , to see two faces in a hood . Come let s go , we le find some sports to spurne away such toyes , Loue . Were it not for lucar , sure Loue had lost her ioyes , Exeunt . Enter Seruiceable Diligence the Constable , and Simplicitie with an Officer to whip him , or two if you can . Simp. Why , but must I be whipt maister Constable indeed ? You may saue your labour , for I haue no need . Dili. I must needs see thee punished , there is no remedie , Except thou wilt confesse , and tell me . Where thy fellowes are become that did the robberie . Simp. Indeed maister Constable , I do not know of their stealing . For I did not see them since we went togither a begging : Therefore pray ye sir be miserable to me , and let me goe , For I labour to get my liuing with begging you know . Dili. Thou wast seene in their companie a little before the deed was done . therefore it is most likely thou knowest where they are become . Simp. Why maister Constable , if a sheepe go among wolues all day . Shall the sheepe be blamd if they steale any thing away ? Dili. Yea mary shall he , for it is a great presumption , that keeping them companie , he is of like profession . But dispatch sirs , strip him , and whip him : Stand not to reason the question . Simp. Indeed t was fraud so it was , it was not I , And here he comes himselfe , aske him if I lie . Enter Fraud . Dili. What saiest thou villaine ? I would aduise thee hold thy toong . I know him to be a wealthie man , and a Burgesse of the towne . Sir , and it please your mastership , here s one slaunders you with felonies He saith you were the chiefe doer of a robberie . Fraud . What saies the rascall ? but you know , It standeth not with my credite to braule : But good maister Constable for his slaunderous report , Pay him double , and in as great a matter commaund me you shall . Exit . Simp. M. Constable , must the countnance carry out the knaue , Why then if one will face folks out , some fine repariment he must haue . Bedle put off his clothes . Bedle. Come sir sacke sauce : make quicke dispatch at once , You shall see how finely we will fetch the skin from your bones . Simp. Nay but tell me be you both right handed or no ? Bedle. What is that to thee , why wouldst thou so same know ? Simp. Mary if you should both be right handed , the one would hinder the other , then it would not be done finely according to order : For if you whip me not with credite it is not worth a pinne , therefore I pray you M. Constable , let me be whipt on the skinne . Dili. Wheron dost thou thinke they would whip thee I pray thee declare ? that thou puttest vs in minde , and takest so great care . Simp. I was afraid you would haue worne out my clothes with whipping , then afterward I should go naked a begging . Bedle. Haue no doubt of that , we will sauour thy clothes , Thou shalt iudge that thy selfe , by feeling the blowes . Lead him once or twice about whipping him , and so exit . Enter Iudge Nemo , the Clarke of the Size , the Crier , and Seruiceable Diligence , the Iudge and Clarke being set , the Crier shal sound thrise . Iudge . Seruiseable Diligence , bring hither such prisoners as are in your custodie . Dili. My diligence shall be applied very willinglie . Pleaseth it you , there are but three prisoners so farre as I know , which are Lucar and Conscience , with a deformed creature much like Bifrons the base daughter of Iuno . Iudge . Nor where is that wretch Dissimulation ? Dili. He hath transformed himselfe after a strange fashion . Iudge . Fraude : where is he become ? Dili. He was seene in the streets walking in a Citizens gowne . Iudge . What is become of Usurie ? Dili. He was seene at the Exchange very lately . Iudge . Tell me , when you heard of Simony ? Dili. He was seene this day walking in Paules , hauing conference & very great familiaritie with some of the Cleargie . Iudge . Fetch Lucar and Conscience to the Barre . Dili. Behold worthy iudge , here readie they are . Enter Lucar and Conscience . Iudge . Stand forth : Diligence deuide them a sunder . Clarke . Lucar , thou art indited by the name of Lucar , To haue committed adulterie with mercadorus the merchant , and Creticus the Lawier . Thou art also indited for the robberie of mercadore . Lastly , and chieflie , for the consenting to the murder of Hospitalitie . What saiest thou , art thou guiltie or not in these causes ? Luc. Not guiltie , where are mine accusers , they may shame to shewe their faces ? I warrant you none comes , nor dare to discredit my name : In despite of the teeth of them that dare : I speake in disdaine . Iudge . Impudent , canst thou denie deedes so manifestly knowne . Luc. In deniall stands triall : I shame not , let them be showne , It grinds my gall , they should slaunder me on this sort : they are some olde cankered currish corrupt Carles that gaue mee this report . My soule craues reuenge on such my sacred foes , And reuengement I will haue , if bodie and soule I lose . Iudge . Thy hatefull heart declares thy wicked life , In the abundance of thy abhomination all euils are rife : But what saiest thou Conscience to thy accusation that art accused to haue beene hawde vnto Lucar , and spotted with all abhomination . Con. What should I say , nay what would I say in this our naughtie liuing . Lucar . Good Conscience if thou loue me say nothing . Clarke . Diligence , suffer her not to stand prating . Let him put her aside . Iudge . What letter is that in thy bosome Conscience ? Diligence reach it hither . Make as though ye read it . Conscience speake on , let me heart what thou canst say , For I know in singlenes thou wilt a truth bewray . Con. My good Lord I haue no way to excuse my selfe , She hath corrupted me by flattery , and her accursed pelfe : What neede further triall , sith I Conscience am a thousand witnesses , I cannot choose but condemne vs all in liuing amisse Such terror doth affright me , that liuing , I wish to die : I am afraid there is no sparke left for me of Gods mercie . Iudge . Conscience where hadst thou this letter ? Con. It was put into my bosome by Lucar : Willing me to keepe secret our lasciuious liuing , I cannot but condemne vs all in this thing . Iudge . How now mallepart stand you still in defence or no ? This letter declares thy guiltie Conscience , how saiest thou is it not for Tell me , why standest thou in a maze ? speake quicklie : Hadst thou thy tongue so liberall , and now stand to studie ? Lucar . O Conscience thou hast kild me , by thee I am ouerthrowne . Iudge . It is happie that by Conscience thy abhomination is knowne , Wherefore I pronounce iudgement against thee on this wise : Thou shalt passe to the place of darkenesse , where thou shalt heare fearefull cries . Weeping , wailing , gnashing of teeth , and torment without end , Burning in the lake of fire and brunstone because thou canst not amend : Wherefore Diligence conuey her hence , throw her downe to the lowest hell , Where the infernall sprites and damned ghosts do dwell . And bring forth Loue . Exit Lucar and Diligence . Let Lucar make ready for Loue quickly , and come with Diligence . Declare that cause Conscience at large , how thou commest so spotted , Whereby many by thee hath beene greatly infected : For vnder the colour of Conscience thou deceiuedst manie , Causing them to difile the temple of God , which is mans bodie : A cleane conscience is a sacrifice : Gods owne resting place , Why wast thou then corrupted so , and spotted on thy face ? Con. When Hospitalitie had his throate cut vp Usurie , He oppressed me with crueltie , and brought me to beggerie : Turning me out of house and home , and in the end , my gowne to paie my rent , to him I did send ; So driuen to that extremitie , I haue fallen to that you see , Yet after iudgement I hope of Gods mercie . Iudge . O Conscience , shall cankered quam corrupt thy heart ? Or shall want in this world cause thee to feele euerlasting smart O Conscience what a small time thou hast on earth to liue , why doest thou not then , to God all honor giue ? Considering the time is euerlasting that thou shalt liue in blisse , If by thy life thou rise from death , to iudgement mercie , and forgiuenes . Enter Loue with Diligence . Stand aside Conscience , bring Loue to the barre . What saiest thou to thy deformitie , who was the cause ? Loue . Ladie Lucar . Iudge . Did Lucar choke thee so , that thou gauest thy selfe ouer to lust ? And did prodigall expences cause thee in Dissimulation to trust ? Thou wast pure Loue , and art thou become a monster , Bolstring thy selfe vpon the lasciuiousnes of Lucar ? Loue answere for thy selfe , speake in thy defence . Loue . I cannot chuse but yeeld , confounded by Conscience . Iudge . Then iudgement I pronounce on thee , because thou followed Lucar , Whereby thou hast solde thy soule to feele like torment with her , Which torments comprehended are in the worme of Conscience , who raging still , shall nere haue end , a plague for thine offence , Care shall be thy comfort , and sorrow shall thy life sustaine , thou shalt be dying , yet neuer dead , but pining still in endlesse paine . Diligence conuey her to Lucar , let that be her reward , Because vnto her cankered coyne she gaue her whole regard . But as for Conscience , carrie her to prison , there to remaine vntill the day of generall session : Thus we make an end , Knowing that the best of vs all may amend : UUhich God graunt to his good will and pleasure , That we be not corrupted with the vnsatiate desire of vanishing earthly treasure : For Couetousnesse is the cause of wresting mans Conscience , Therefore restraine thy lust , and thou shalt shun the offence . FINIS . Paule Bucke .
Machine-generated castlist A15519-simplicity 66 A15519-lucre 55 A15519-dissimulation 55 A15519-conscience 49 A15519-mercator 34 A15519-simony 34 A15519-usury 34 A15519-fraud 25 A15519-judge 24 A15519-sincerity 17 A15519-gerontus 15 A15519-hospitality 13 A15519-love 12 A15519-diligence 11 A15519-peter 10 A15519-artifex 8 A15519-tom 7 A15519-cogging 4 A15519-unassigned 4 A15519-beadle 3 A15519-will 3 A15519-fame 2 A15519-lawyer 2 A15519-clark 2 A15519-nemo 1 A15519-all 1
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withall married to Dissimulation , the other fraught with all abhomination . ▪ hils to clime , nor talke of loues delights : VVe do not here present to you the threshar O● our estates , to whom shall we complaine ? Or how shall we abridge such fates , as heapeth avridge whom shall we complaine ? Or how shall we abridge such fates , as heapeth vp our paine ? Tis ●is rules the rout , tis she is all in all , tis she that holds her head so stout , in fine fal so stout , in fine tis she that works our fall . Oh Conscience , I feare , I feare a day ●eane but Loue and Conscience few doo like , that leane on Lucars chaire . Men ought be rulde by te they win . That we poore ladies may sigh to see our states thus turned and tost , and to●ng than a farmer , a right honest man , but my toung cannot stay me to tell what I am : Nay , comporknance you see I am a hansome fellow , marke the comportnance of my stature , Faith ile go seeke peraduentures Mary Marry ile clare thee , to London , would thou bon●acion deceitfull knaue , And art thou gotten so bonfacion and braue ? I knew thee when thou dwelt ▪ horses teeth , that they should not eate hay , And 〈◊〉 tell the rider his horse no hay 〈◊〉 teeth , that they should not eate hay ▪ And wouldst tell the rider his horse no hay would eate Igiue him some other kinde of meate . Sir shall I giue him oates , fitches pease barley , ●ates other kinde of meate . Sir shall I giue him oates , fitches pease barley , or bread , But 〈◊〉 bread , But what ere thou gaust him , thou stolst three quarters when he was in bed , And quarte●s what ere thou gaust him , thou 〈◊〉 three quarters when he was in bed , And how thou art so ●ow 〈◊〉 three quarters when he was in bed , And how thou art so proud with thy filching & coosning w●se be proud of the Rope and the Cart : take a wise fellowes counsell Fraud , leaue thy coosning hores●n Thou horeson rascall swad auant , ile bang thee for thy ma●e Let Fraud make as though he would strike him , but let Dis●im. Dissim. ma● contention with him , I would thinke you were mad But tell me Fraud tell me , hast thou been wai●e by all other trades , I became a squire to waite vpon iades . But then was then , and now ●ades trades , I became a squire to waite vpon iades . But then was then , and now is now , so Y●● You say you go to London , in faith haue with ma●ley him that hath anie honestie . A bots on thy motley beard , I know thee thou art Dissimulation ▪ beleeue thou art an honest man in the country , yet dost nothing but cog , lye , and foyst Sym●●●e Enter Sympatie and Vsurie hand in hand . Da●ie Mary M. Dame Dissimulation , a good helper , and our ben● we met by chance , and towards London are bent Sim●l. Simpl. see●simple mony , & for breking one day , He tooke the fee-simple of his house and mill quite away : And yet H●le he let an honest man as I am to haue one , Hele let it so deare that he shall be vndone ●st Speake boldly and tell me what dost you require . ▪ like not nor list not such seruants to haue , compan● stand still behind , for I am none of their company . ▪ Symonie , Great caters for your health , wealth , and prosperitie . Fra●d Fraud , Dissimulation , Usurie , and Symonie , 〈◊〉 manie matters , amongst others one began to debate of the abundant substance still brought ●●ealth other Princes , and was brought thether by stealth : But the friars and monkes with all the putchaser rent-gatherer , my letter of leases & my purchaser of land , so that manie olde bribes will ●eale trustie , you shall be my secretarie , to deale amongst merchants , to bargen and exchange you● , because you are a slie fellow , & haue your tongue liberall , we will place you ouer Ecclesiastica●● we will place you ouer such matters as are Ecclesiasticall And though we appoint sundrie offices where 〈◊〉 master Dauie to my pallaice hast thee away , and will Craftie Conueyance my butler to make ●●gnior Pray ye heartely Signior leta me speaka you , Pray ye do ye know call● know vn shentleman dat meshier Dauie doo call 〈◊〉 meshier Dauie , helpa me pray ye heartely , for haue sum acquaintance a with Madona Lucar ●ir acquaintance a with Madona Lucar your Lady . Sir vpon condition I will , therefore I would fellowe● would you should know , That on me and my fellowes you must largely bestow : Whose names are prefitable pretty and pleasant , they care not to haue it profitable . And if they demaund wherefore your wares besicke one fat , Corrall will looke pale when you be sicke , and Christall wil stanch blad , feare● Mercadore , I warrant thee , thou needest not to feare What and one do ? there is some other will land● scape roundly with such things in and out the land But senior Mercadore , I pray you walke ●ral●e the land But senior Mercadore , I pray you walke in with me , And as I find you kind to me d●m Usurie , and Symonie , and say me giue it dem . Excunt Exeunt Lucar and Mercadore , saith , these bribes haue welcome beene , Good faith I perceiue , Dissimulation , Fraud , Symonie Art●fex Enter Artifex an Artificer . lu●e befreend a poore man , To serue Lady Lucar and sure sir . ile consider hereafter if I can . me● What , consider me doest thou thinke that I am a bribe taker ca●ly Conscience I haue wonne , But my true working , my early rising and my late going to bed , Is scant ti●ing haue wonne , But my true working , my early rising and my late going to bed , Is scant able grow●e proffered to sell , And our Englishmen be growne so foolish and nice , That they will not 〈◊〉 paine , That you shall thinke very well of me if I in her seruice remaine . d●est Therefore the next peece of worke that thou doest make , Let me see how deceitfull thou wilt ●●r Yes sir I will sir , of that be you sure , Ile honour s●r Yes sir I will sir , of that be you sure , Ile honour your end●●e sure , Ile honour your name while life doth endure . w●s haue pleaded for Loue and Conscience till I was wearie , I had in my Clients , and many 〈◊〉 thou knowest that Symonie and Usurie hath an ill matter in law at this time , Naw if thou 〈◊〉 thou canst handle the matter so subtill and fine , Is to plead that ill matter good and firmable ●s canst handle the matter so subtill and 〈◊〉 , Is to plead that ill matter good and firmable L●wyers thousand waies to faine , And many times we Lawyers do one befreend another , And let good matters out Seeing we haue them printed in the palmes of our fist ? Therefore doubt you not , but make Ex●● ( Exit . Mas●cke Phislognomie , Palmestrie , Arithmetike , Logicke , Musicke , Phisicke , or any such thing , I had not Phis●cke Palmestrie , Arithmetike , Logicke , Musicke , Phisicke , or any such thing , I had not doubted Saba●th amisse : But what is he that may not on the Sabbath day attend to heare Gods word ? But we wil e●t will do what we can : But vltra posse non est esse , you know , It is Lucar that hath bus●e Lady , me thinks you are busie . ●aue I haue done sir , I was setting my hand to a letter f●iend Thankes my good friend Hospitalitie . But tell me sir , haue you ●as Mas my lady is gotten to dinner already , I coossen so many , theile nere be fat , what if my cosen nay my selfe alone to dinner should come te●● should come ? where should my lady and the rest dine ? for I would eat vp euerie crum . ●ser would eat vp euerie crum . Thou art an old miser doest thou keepe no better fare in thy house ●e He speakes well coossen , lets go to dinner d●nner He speakes well coossen , lets go to dinner with him . the olde man shall not thinke har● it , heere receiue it , but it greeues my hart that this dissembling wretch should speake com● nothing to do in it , tis not to me thou should come I haue not to do with Sincerities matters 〈◊〉 not for nothing thy Godfathers a cogging name gaue thee . merrsly are they so hastie ? belike they spent it merrily . ●●out vnderstandest her not , she was set for to flout , I thought comming in their names I should ●oues go without , Tis calle to see that Lucar loues not Loue and Conscience : But God I trust Coossen Cosen , you said that some thing to me you would coossen And I trust you will remember your poore cosen simplicitie , you know to lady Conscience ought , I will helpe thee sure , if euer I get cought . But here comes sir Nicholas Nemo , to 〈◊〉 come from Loue and Conscience , as seemeth me here , My speciall good friends , whom I din●● in to dinner with me , and when you haue dinde , you shall haue . 〈◊〉 Sinc. Simplic●tie Good Simplicitie content thee , I am neuer the better for ●inceritie , seeing how vaine it is : Nor bootes it sinceritie to looke for reliefe . So few regard that ▪ prating , Faith ile go do him a pleasure , because the hath need . why and hele needs h●le pleasure ▪ because the hath need . why and hele needs haue meate eate , a shall see how 〈◊〉 possession when you please , good leaue haue ye Doubt you not , there is neither man , woman pe●illous where is no need at all , But he thinks it no perillous to seeke euery mans fall : Both he and Lucar ▪ all our stay and chiefest comfort doth rest : But Usurie hates Hospitalitie and cannot you● tooke possession as your deare lady wild your hou●● lady wild me to bid you prouide some other house out of hand , For she would not by her will ye● her land : Therefore tis best to prouide yer So shall you saue charges , for a lesse serueyt you saue charges , for a lesse house may serue yt . ▪ distressed they would haue giuen largely . I was a right sot , but ile be ouerseene 〈◊〉 Shall me say to you Madama , dat me haue had such businesse for you in hand 〈◊〉 Merca. . ▪ great deuill for you . Commaund a me Madona , and you sall see plaine , Data for your ●or forthwith to send yee From hence , to search for some new toyes in Barbary or in Turkie , Fait laugh a to tinke wherein da haue deir ioyes . Fair Madona me will search all da strange countries no● this some Cracko , be both my parishioners now And sir they fell out maruellously about th●n And please woman too now and then , o● where I haue studied two or three places of Diuinitie : And all for lady Lucars sake ▪ Nay I beleeue ye , but of what religion are you can ye tell 〈◊〉 Mary sir of all religions , I know not my selfe very Prote stant You are a Protestant now , and I thinke to that now wil grant ▪ Indeed I haue beene a Catholicke , mary now for the most part a Protestant 〈◊〉 Yea sir , and reason good , ile be as your mastership pleasi●an Then this man is answered , sir Peter pleasman come with me And ile preferre you straight m● answered , sir Peter pleasi●an come with me And ile preferre you straight way to my beceit with such kinde of ware . Sirra there is no deceit in a bag pudding , is there ? nor in a plaine s●ckswill with this parlament I go ? Faith euen to suckswill thy fellow Usurie I am sent , With my lady 〈◊〉 And Sir , carry lady Loues gowne backe againe , ▪ but he hunts and followes me euery where . That I know no place to abide , I liue so ▪ no refraining nor answere me no answering , The matter is answered well inough in this theee mollifie my hart , He shall in despite of thee and all other feele his deadly smart . Yet fe●le He shall in despite of thee and all other feele his deadly smart . Yet ile not commit the ▪ miserable drudge , and receiue thy death . ▪ on his heart , why twas time he were dead , He was an olde churle , with neuer a good cheefe meat , He had nothing but beefe , bread and cheese for me to eate . Now I would haue had some ●at Pyes or bag puddings with great lumps of fat : But he did keepe my mouth well enough Luc● Enter Lucr . ●o hither Dissimulation , and hie you hence so fast as you may And helpe thy fellow Usurie ▪ they chaunce to see him , not to know him . Or know him , not by any meanes to hinder ▪ Nay good lady , send my fellow Simonie , For I haue an earnest ●udeo Well well Lucar , uideo & taceo , I see and say nothing : But I tace● Well well Lucar , uideo & taceo , I see and say nothing : But I feare the bon● though my name be Dissimulation , yet I speake bona side now , Yf it please you my petitions side name be Dissimulation , yet I speake bon● fide now , Yf it please you my petitions to allow S●●nd Stand by , ile answere thee anon : what newes ●es Mary madam good newes : for Usurie hes close Hid in a rich mans house , that will nobiliti● were many of the clergie and many of the nobilitie And many right worshipfull rich Cittizens ▪ and say tis great pittie that he was slaine : But who be they ? the poore beggarly people wh● tis great pittie that he was slaine ▪ But who be they ? the poore beggarly people that Lones it , now Dissimulation if thou canst get Loues good will . I am contented with all my heart 〈◊〉 learne , marie and twere to lie a bed all day, To that kind of lying I should giue a good strra then I knew what for to do . How say you sirra , can I not , ile be drudge by you ? loo●e What auaileth it thee to win the world , and loose thy soule withall Yet better it is to liue withall● thee to win the world , and loose thy soule withall Yet better it is to liue with little , and b●okish Nay Conscience , and you be bookish ile leaue ye , And the cold ground to comfort ass●headed thy selfe . Come giue me my Ladies gowne thou asseheaded elfe . ●acke Packe hence away , Iacke Drums entertainment , she wil none of thee Drum● Packe hence away , Iacke Drums entertainment , she wil none of thee . 〈◊〉 Simp . hou●e This is as my coossen and I went to M. Nemos house , There was no man to aid a dog drinke , ●id went to M. Nemos house , There was no man to aid a dog drinke , or to change a man a louse ●ou●e to aid a dog drinke , or to change a man a louse , But lady Conscience ( nay who there ) flie● you , and say you be not woorth two butter flies . 〈◊〉 powling of the Tapster , as in most houses of lodging they be , If in a brewers house ●uer they be , If in a brewers house , at the suer plentie of water , and scarcenes of malt mal● suer plentie of water , and scarcenes of malt I should greeue , wherby to enrich themselues A●lehouse is scant worth a farthing . And if in an Alehouse , with the great resort of poore vnthrifts ▪ quiet meane to keepe my selfe from begging : wherefore Simplicitie if thou wilt do the ●ettle wherefore Simplicitie if thou wilt do the like , settle thy selfe to it , and with true labour thy 〈◊〉 thou wilt do the like , settle thy selfe to it , and with true labour thy liuing do 〈◊〉 Exit Conscience . shoo●e coossen me too competually with their olde shoone . And too I cannot worke , and you would Kitch●n as you thinke . Therefore God Pan in the Kitchen , and God Pot in the buttery , Come and sir● I may sing with the more meliositie . But sire , marke my cauled countenance when I begin b●●e begin , But yonder is a fellow that gapes to bite me , or els to eate that which I sing . together● foole , canst not thou keepe thy mouth strait togethere And when it comes snap at it as my fathers sna● mouth strait togethere And when it comes snap at it as my fathers dogge wod do at a liuer wo● when it comes snap at it as my fathers dogge wod do at a liuer . But thou art so greedie ●ie That thou thinkest to eate it before it come nie thee . singe● Simplicitie singes c●mes Country hath no peare . Where Conscience comes not once a yeare And Loue so welcome to year●● peare . Where Conscience comes not once a yeare And Loue so welcome to euery towne , as ●s yeare And Loue so welcome to euery towne , as winde that blowes the houses downe . Sing 〈◊〉 growne bigger with eating vp our play . He has fild his belly but I am neuer a whit the better Mercado●us Enter Mercadorus the Merchant , and Gerontus a Iewe. m●nthes I lent you two thousand duckats for three monthes space , And ere the time came you got another M●rca Merca . G●ron Geron . ●ra Pra hartly do tink no such ting my good friend 〈◊〉 ●ra hartly do tink no such ting my good friend a me , Be me ●eale In hope that for my long tarrying you will deale wel with me . Tell me what good ware for fantasie● Gentlewomans in England buy mush tings for fantasies You pleasure a me sir , vat me meane a dare ●mber know you came to this country for As Muske , Amber , sweete Powders , fine odors pleasant perfumes ●lde case me , if market were done . Haue you any olde bootes , or any olde shooes : Pouch rings Bu●●ins bootes , or any olde shooes : Pouch rings or Buskins , to cope for new broome . If so you haue Tha● haue maydens , I pray you bring hither : That you and I friendly may bargen together . ●argen bring hither : That you and I friendly may bargen together . New broomes , greene broomes thankfully● almightie will haue it so . I imbrace it thankfully Desiring God to mollifie and lesten Usuries fren●● reward how can we say we are our neighbors french O how blessed shall that man be that lends per●urie much insaciate is his minde , So that to periurie and crueltie he wholly is inclinde : Wherewith bus●ins shoes , or haue ye any bootes , haue ye any buskins , or will ye buy any broome . Who bargens w●● ye any bootes , haue ye any buskins , or will ye buy any broome . Who bargens or chops ▪ do it too : For that I see your free heart , and great liberalitie , I maruell not that ▪ house : That I dare not be once merrie within , but still mute like a mouse . mee the money . Usurie , steppe in and bring me the boxe of all abhomination that stands co●●ming Dissimulation hath not seene you since your coming home . therefore go see him , he will reioice 〈◊〉 desire of Lucar do force them followe my minde: Now may I reioice in full contentation , a● with the bride in the middest , and the men at each ende : Let me see , there are sixteene 〈◊〉 Doctor Hipocrisie is most auncient . But cossen Coggin , I pray you go to inuite the gesse Eoggin Hipocrisie is most auncient . But cossen Coggin , I pray you go to inuite the gesse , And ●ecause come at dinner time , and it shall suffise . because I know they will be loth so early to rise 〈◊〉 are a mery man , I warrant I know what I be And can yeeld a good reason for it I may Aporn● a paire of hose can steale their wise an Aporne . The Dublet sleeue three fingers were too Uene●ians sleeue three fingers were too short , The Uenecians came nothing neare the knee . be●●w lengthen them withall , Yet for all that below the knee by no meanes they could fall . 〈◊〉 Now sure I can him thanke , he could his occupation s●al Arrest me dou skal knaue , mary do if dou dare , Me will not Begger● Enter three Beggers , that is to say , Tom Baggar , Wily Will s●mmer rest . Tell me , is it not a Lords life in sommer to lowse one vnder a hedge , And then leauing mame on the grasse , haue sweet smels , and see manie a pretie sight . Why , an Emperour for all sinne And leaue me nothing but browne bread , or finne of fish to eat . When you be at the alehouse bestw , Good gentle M. Porter , your reward so bestow , On a poore lame man , that hath but a tarri●● sirs , you are vengeance hastie , can ye not tarrie But stand bauling so at my Ladies doore ●auling vengeance hastie , can ye not tarrie But stand bauling so at my Ladies doore . Heere take it amongst Ost●ers each hand holding vp the crease , I worthie Ostlers hand in a dish of grease : Besides all this abread I am sure my armes are not blazd so farre abroad as yet . O●●lar worthie valiant Captaine maister Fraud the Ostlar . Now God be with ye sir , ile get me euen Com me euen close to the backe dore . Farewell Tom begger , and wily Will , lle beg with you ●o and him . And can ye liue in this sort to go vp and downe the country a begging ? O base pen●rie the high way side , Than such miserie and penurie still to abide . Sirs , if you will be rulde ru●de penurie still to abide . Sirs , if you will be rulde by me , and do what I shall say , Ile bring Mercad●rus pray . It is so sirs , that merchant , one Mercadorus , is comming from Turky And it is my Ladies wo●ne O worthy Captaine Fraud , you haue wonne my noble hart : You shall see how manfully palinti●e Sir Gerontus , because you are the plaintife , you first your mind shall say , Declare d●● iudge . Senior mercadorus , consider what you doo , Pay me the principall , as for the interest saith say , it was long of me Thou forsakest thy faith , wherefore I forgiue thee franke and free prosser O sir Gerontus , me take a your proffer , and tanke you most hartily . ●eneor But seneor mercadorus , I trow ye wil be a Turke for dus●● You say vel sir , it dus me good dat me haue coosend de Iew , Faith p●●uide not do for her sweet sake , But now me will prouide my iourney toward England to take . Me be sin●e Turke , no , it will make my lady Lucar to smile , When she knowes how me did da scal Iew ●oy Mistrisse Loue , I maruell not a little what coy conceit is crept into your head , that you 〈◊〉 swolne good mistris Loue , I pray you let mee see . Of truth it is behold a face that ●●ealing maister Constable , I do not know of their stealing . For I did not see them since we went togither s●eale all day . Shall the sheepe be blamd if they steale any thing away ? ●aunders and it please your mastership , heres one slaunders you with felonies He saith you were the 〈◊〉 mastership , heres one slaunders you with felonies He saith you were the chiefe doer of a robberie Constalbe with my credite to braule : But good maister Constable for his slaunderous report , Pay him double repar●ment then if one will face folks out , some fine repariment he must haue . hinde● should both be right handed , the one would hinder the other , then it would not be done finely clothe● I was afraid you would haue worne out my clothes with whipping , then afterward I should twile Lead him once or twice about whipping him , and so exit . Bi●●ons Conscience , with a deformed creature much like Bifrons the base daughter of Iuno . ●elfe corrupted me by flattery , and her accursed pelfe : What neede further triall , sith I Conscience hou thou is it not for Tell me , why standest thou in a maze ? speake quicklie : Hadst thou con●●est that cause Conscience at large , how thou commest so spotted , Whereby many by thee hath beene pait house and home , and in the end , my gowne to paie my rent , to him I did send ; So driuen sma●t this world cause thee to feele euerlasting smart O Conscience what a small time thou hast