YOu are well ouer taken Sir .

What ? are you so sure of it ?

Sure , of what sir ?

Why , my Purse .

Your Purse ? no sir , it was the least part of my thought .

Why , what haue you taken then ? or haue you authoritie to take fooles as you finde them in your waie ? If you haue , you may happen yet to be deceiued .

Why sir , I set no springs for Woodcocks , and though I be no great wise man , yet I can doe something else , then shooe the Boose for my liuing : and therefore , I pray you neither feare your Purse , nor play too much with my folly . But if you can finde in your hart to do good for him that cannot deserue it , and will trust a stranger , with as much as you dare loose , it may be I should tell you a longer tale then you would beleeue , or else finde you kinder then I can looke for .

Why ? saie I were as I may be ( for ought you know ) an honest man , and of ability to doe for you more then I meane to prate of , if I like of your talke , and your behauiour , what would you saie to mee ?

I could say somewhat vnto you , but that my hart is full .

Of what ?

Sorrowes .

For what ?

Oh sir , it were a worlde to tell you the discourse of the causes of them .

Well then , by the waie , let me aske you a question or two .

As many as please you .

Then first , tell me whence came you ?

From Terra Florida , and am going to Isola Brata .

Oh , I vnderstand a litle Latin , and if I be not much mistaken , you came from the florishing Lande , and are trauailing towardes the blessed Iland .

Uery true sir.

Then figuratiuely , you came from the Ale-house , and are going to the Tauerne .

Oh sir , you make too hard a construction of my disposition : for , though a cup of good Ale be comfortable in the morning , and a draught of old Sacke , warme the hart to bed-ward : yet for my selfe , I hold a moderate dyet the holsomest Phisick , and for those kinde of houses , they are but for necessitie : and therefore I pray you sir , be better conceiued of my condition .

Well then , let me aske you , how you made your walke hither ?

In briefe-sir , not knowing your busines , in admitting your leasure , or requiring more haste , and so fearing by teadiousnes , to be some trouble to your patience , with your good fauour sir , thus it is . After that I had past the great Mountaine of mishaps , I fell into a long vaile of miserie , in which I haue wandred to the foote of this hill of hope , on which I haue not bene a little comforted , since I came into your presence .

Come , you are so fine , but will you not be angrie , if I tell you my minde , touching your figures ?

Not for my life sir.

Then it may be , you were going vp Holbourne-Hill , and so afterwarde to Tiburne : From whence , hauing escaped more by good fortune , then desert , you haue gone a begging euer since : and hauing learned your termes of arte , either at Schoole , ( which you haue not forgotten , to put to an ill vse ) or among such as your selfe , that with Eloquence , thinke to cosen simplicitie of a litle coine , you would draw a hand of me : but you are deceiued in me , or it may be , that I am deceiued in you , and therefore I pray you tell me what you are , your profession and purpose ? it may be for your good : for your hurt beléeue me it shall not be .

Sir , to tel you what I am , you know what al men are , and so am I : Dust and Ashes and wormes meate , my profession honesty : which , if the heauens will fauour , I care for no fortune .

Well said , but how do you professe honesty ?

I protest .

What , do you onely protest honesty ? Why then , your profession is but a protestation , as thus : You protest it a thing necessarie in a common wealth , but more commendable then commodious for many men to deale withall .

Oh no sir , no such matter : I know there is no true commoditie without it , and for my selfe , in all the courses that I haue yet runne , I haue had so great a care of it , & so great a loue to it , that I haue had rather haue lost all that I had in the world , and my selfe last of all , then haue liued without it : and without boast be it spoken , I now haue it about me , and carrie it easily without any weight or trouble .

And where , I pray you ?

Truely sir , in my hart , Where I hope it is too fast , for euer getting out , while I liue .

Well then , if I must needs ( as I haue yet no reason to the contrary ) beleeue what you saie . Let me heare a litle of your courses , and of your honesty in them .

I will tell you Sir first : After I had past out Crosse-rowe , speld , and put together , read without a Festraw , had my Grammer Rules without booke , and was gone from Schoole to the Uniuersities , there beginning in Philosophie , by Gods grace to iudge betwixt good and euill : and what honour was in honestie , and what shame in the contrarie : I rather noted then loued the fallacies in arguments : and gouerning nature with reason , I was called the honest Scholler : For I neuer vsed Rhetorick to perswade wickednes , nor Poetrye in wantonnesse , nor Diuinitie in pride , nor law in Couetousnesse , nor Phisicke in malice , nor Musicque in beggery : but held learning so honorable in all studies , that I auoyded all that I might any waie disgrace her .

And there-with-all you wakte .

Why Sir ?

Why , I cannot see how being awake , you could doe so : Temptations , Illusions , and suggestions ( and I know not what such other trickes ) would haue put you so out of your By-ace , that you would some time haue lost the cast , had you bowled neuer so well . But let me heare you a little speake of your honesty in all your poynts of learning .

Why , I tell you , I made no loue to wenches , I did cosen no simple trust with vntruth : I fed my flocke , vndid no Clyent poysoned no patient , nor followed a Fayrie with a blinde Fiddle : but wonne the wilfull with good words , to a good waie : made verses in the onely honor of vertue : was true to my friends , followed my Clyents case to his content , Preached euery weeke in my Parish Church : Cured soundly my Patients , and made content my best Musique .

And yet could not thriue with all this ?

Oh no.

The reason ?

I will tell you , wordes had no weight without money , and I was poore , and the rich were couetous : therefore my good wordes onely did good , to good mindes , that benefited not a litle by my labours ; but my gaine was only a good name : so that most my enemy which wold saie , I was a foole , wold saie , that I was an honest man . My Poetry belyed no mans villanie , nor laide open his shame , but reprehended vice priuately , and touched no mans name in infamy . My Clyents would pray for my life , for my true pleading : and my Parish all loued me , because I was contented with what they gaue me : my patients commended my medicines , and my Musicque was pleasing , because it was not common .

Wel , then sir , your Rhetoricke was gratious , your Potrye diuine , your diuinitie , pure , your Law Iustice , your Physicke learned , and your Musique Harmonious : and yet with all these you could not thriue .

No , For I could not flatter nor faine , nor be idle , nor sell breath , nor beare malice , nor abide beggery .

Well said , I like you well for this : but let me go a little farther on with you out of booke-matters . What other courses haue you past with this same honestie ?

Truely Sir , after that I had left my hard studie , I became a Courtier .

Yea marrie Sir , now you come to me : let me heare a little of that poynt with you .

I will tell you Sir , my place being not great there , I can tell you of no great matters , but thus far without offence . I loued no Painting on my face , no superfluitie in my dyet nor excesse in my apparrell , nor to créepe to a Thorne nor to flatter a foole , nor conuerse with a Muchauilion , nor to make idle loue , nor to scoffe at vertue , nor to quarrel for trifles , nor to tell lies , nor to importune friends , nor to delay sutors : but in all poynts of courtesie , so linked honestie with modestie , that , being faithful to my God , loyall to my Soueraign , carefull of my selfe and kinde vnto my friend : my hart was all daie in a good harbour , and at night , my Conscience made me sléepe quietly .

All this I like well , and the rather , for that your estate answeres ( at this time ) to the condition of simplicity : but on a litle further for I greatly care not to talke too much of Court-courses : and yet I pray you tell me the cause why you had such a care of your honesty in all your Court-time ? But first , let me aske you , why you would not paint your face as many doe ?

Because I would not offend God with setting an other collour on my face , then Nature by his grace had giuen me .

Well said , but why did you forbeare superfluitie in your diet ?

For that , with gluttonie and drunkennesse , I would not please the deuill .

Uery good now why doe you mislike excesse in apparrell ?

Because the wise that saw my fashions should not laugh at me for my folly .

For feare of pricking my knées , and making an idoll of idlenes .

And why doe you hate to flatter a foole ?

Because I fret at my miserie , to tye my patience to ignorance , and I would shunne the infection of a thirsting spirit .

Well said , but why would you not conuerse with a Machauilion ?

For feare of a villaine .

Why would you not make loue ?

Because of the fashion .

How so ?

Why , it is vnfit to the body , or the minde , or state , or common , or foolish , or an idle thing or an other about it , so that I was loth to loose time , about the triall of it .

Good , but why durst you not scoffe at vertue ?

For feare to be hatefull both to God and man .

A gratious conceit : Now why did you mislike of quarrels ?

Because they are enemies to peace , dangers of death , and disquietnes of the sences .

Uery good : now why did you hate lying ?

Because of the deuil is the author of it , no honest man but abhorres it : no Christian but may be ashamed of it : Few or none but the wicked loue it : Furthermore , when I tell true , I shall not be beléeued .

You saie well : Now , why would you not importune friends ?

For feare to weary them , and so to loose them .

Why would you not delaie Sutors ?

Because I would not abuse their trust , nor bee pittilesse of their misery .

All this I like well : but for that I like not too much to talke of Court-courses , I pray you tell mee of your next course , and honestie in it .

Uery willingly . The next was Armes : I left the Court and followed the field , sought by danger to winne Honor : and when by deserts of seruice , I had gotten to the charge of Gouernment : I did not abuse my credit , with either foolish hardines , or base Cowardice .

What was your reason ?

For feare , by the First , to loose either mine honor , or my people : By the other , to loose my credite vnrecouerable .

Well said . Now to your next poynt .

I would not deceiue my souldier of his pay , nor make a melch-Cow of a man .

And why ? profite goeth beyond Conscience in many considerations .

Yea , with such as thinke of no other world but this : but I haue no part in their play , for honor admitts no Auarice , and it is an vnchristian humor , to make money of men .

Well said , and what was your next care ?

Not to forget mercie in Iustice , not to fauour the vitious , nor to pardon the obstinate .

And why ?

Because as Iustice is the grace of Iudgement , so is mercy the glory of Iustice .

Why would you not fauour the vitious ?

Because they are the enemies of God , and the spoyle of men .

You saie true , but last of all , wherefore would you not pardon the obstinate ?

For feare of infecting of other , and growing into a greater mischiefe , if hee scape vnpunished .

A good consideration , for in time of warre , one mutinous villaine may marre a whole Campe : these indéed were honest cares in you : but it séemes , fortune was not alwaies your friend , or else she would haue furnished you better for your preferment : But I sée , you haue learned patience , which is a great vertue in all men , and in all courses . It séemes you had no pleasure in fyring of Cities , in bloudy massacres , nor in robbing of Churches .

Oh no , for God neuer prospereth the blood-thirstie , the mercilesse , nor the vngratious : and indéed , I must saie what I know , that a true Souldier , is neither Thiefe , Murtherer , nor vnmercifull .

I am of your minde in this : But not to trouble you too much with enquiring after your courses in the warres : let mee a litle aske you of the next course , and as you said , of your honestie in it .

Well said , but let me aske you , why you would not take money of poore men for counsell ?

Because their miserie should not curse my Couetousnesse : for though therich would wrong them , I would not wring them .

And well saide , a signe of a good minde : But why would you receiue no bribes of the rich ?

Because I would not sell breath for money ; and I had more care of my Conscience , then their Coine .

Well spoken , a signe of a gratious spirit . And since a good Conscience , is better then a golden Castell , you did better to séeke a quiet life with a meane gaine , then to charge your Conscience with a heape of treasure . But since the studie of the Law is both tedious & costly , I hold a good Pleader worthie his Foe , and a reuerent Iudge worthy his Honor , without whose great care and trauaile , the Common wealth would hardly be kept in good order : And therefore I will leaue further to talke of your Law-courses , and intreat you to tell me how you fared with the farme ?

Oh very well : as long as my Purse was my friend , I had Horses , Bullocks , Cowes , Shéepe and Corne , and companie enough to helpe me to spend more then I got : yet would I not mingle the fusty , ouer-growne corne , with the swéet and good . I would not sell an old shéepe for a Lambe , nor an old Cowe for a yong Heiffor I would not forestall any markets , take any house ouer a Tennants head : sell rotten Trées for good timber , raise the price of graine nor of Cattell , nor defraud the labourer of his hyre : But when my Cattle dyed , my fruit was blasted , and my Purse grew so bare , that great rents would not be paide with faire words : two or thrée yeares brought me so downe the winde , that I could neuer looke vp more to the welkin : and so in briefe , selling all that I had , hauing no charge of wife , nor children , I tooke that litle that remained after the discharge of my debts , & going into some strange place where I was not knowen , I meant to séeke my fortune , in the seruice of some such Noble or honest Gentleman , as would in his discretion , regard the care of my duty .

Why , haue you euer serued ?

Yes a while , but I haue obserued the carriage of diuerse , and not the worst wits in their places that haue serued : which , if it were my happe to come into , I would vtterly auoide .

I pray you tell mee some of your notes , for by your iudgement in that you haue rehearsed , I can beléeue nothing in you to be idle .

I thanke you Sir , for your good opinion of me , but howsoeuer I prooue , I will satisfie your request . When I came into a house where I saw diuersity of seruants , and euery one make a gaine in his place : I began to cast mine eies about me , when I might sée one carrie a ring in his mouth , & it made not his téeth bléed . I heard an other claw a back , as though he would leaue no flesh on the bones : an other playe so on both hands , as if he had put downe a cunning Iugler : an other playing at Bo-peepe , with the eies of his mistresse : an other following Iudas , in betraying his maister , and yet not one of these but made a gaine of his villanie .

As how I pray you ? if at least you can tell mee , and first for the King-carrier ?

Why , when no man would challenge the Stone , he should haue the gold for his labour .

Well couched ; Now , for the next : to the Claw-backe , what got hee by his trade ?

Some-what more then a Lowse , when he met with a suit of Satten .

Well saide , now to the third : the Ambodxeter , he that plaies an both hands ?

Sir , Iacke of both sides , got a cloke of his master , and a shirt of his mistres , when he did fit her humor , & serue his turne .

Well hit , but , to the fourth now : Wagge-wanton with his mistresse .

Oh , hee gate his masters loue through her commendation , and her comfort through his owne diligence .

A necessarie seruant , it is a signe he was not idle , when he was so well occupyed .

Exercised , you would haue said , Sir I thinke at least .

Oh you saie well : but nothing is ill-spoken that is not ill-taken . But , now to the last , the Iudas , what gained he ?

That , which of all I praie God kéep me from .

Why man , what was it ?

Why Sir , the Gallowes , if not hell . But it is a shrewde presumption : for Treason is surely the very high-waie to hell .

Well said : then if thou wert well entertained , with a good maister , thou wouldest neither carrie a ring , clawe a backe , plaie on both hands , be no wagge-wanton , with thy mistresse , nor Iudas with thy maister ?

What would you then doe , or can you do , if vpon my good liking , of your behauiour , I should procure your preferment ?

Sir , I can do many things , more than I meane to boast of , and when I know of what title , either for honor or honesty , my maister or mistres may be , I will then tell you , how I can fit my seruice to their contentment .

Well then , saie he were a yong Lord , and I would preferre you to attend him in his chamber .

I would neuer be without a brush for his apparrell : I would sée his chamber neatly kept , his bed soft and finely made , his linnen cleane washed , and his chestes fast locked : I would be humble in my behauiour , and ciuill in my demeanour , go discréetly on a message , bring him word of his mistresse health , and his Cosins good rest : and what time of the daie it is , &c.

Well put off , but saie it were a fine Gentlewoman , that I would put you to ?

Oh , I would be full of curtesse , hold her Glasse stedie , bring her painting vnséene , and her Perriwig vncrushed : Haue her taylour at a becke , runne quickly for her errand , now and then tel her a merrie tale : and once in fauour , neuer loose it againe I warrant you .

But will you not commend her fauorite .

No , I hate that vile basenes , or rather , base villanie , to make my tongue an enemie to my hart : I would rather leaue her to séeke a seruant , then I would be found in such a seruice .

Well said : but saie that it were to a meaner person , I should put thée , I cannot saie , prefer thée to : as for example : Let me saie it be some honest man of trade or traffique , or so forth ; how could you behaue your selfe , that I might hope of your credite ?

Why Sir , I would kéepe his booke of account , cast vp by his reckonings once in foure and twenty houres , looke wel vnto his shoppe , learne the price of his wares , aske what lacke you of passers bye , vse his Chap-men kindely , and euery one with courtesie : so that I would get more with good words , then some other should do with good ware . In briefe , I would be an honest man , and that is worth all .

Good all that I yet heare : & if there be no worse matter in you , then I haue yet heard from you , nor hope to finde in you , I do not greatly care , if your case be desperate , that for lacke of entertainment , to saue the charge of an empty purse , you would venture vpon a bad maister rather then none , i le trie a litle what you can doe about my house : Base actions , as filling the Dung-cart , going to plough , kéeping of hogs , or washing of buckes , swéeping the houses , or making cleane shooes : these offices , I haue in my house ; Boyes and Girles enough , fit for the purpose . But to ouer-sée my family , to instruct my children , to be Steward of my courts , kéeper of my Parke , ranger of my Forrest , and now and then to wait on my wife : one of these offices , if any be void , I care not if I place thée in , so that in thy good carriage , thou doest not deceiue my expectation ?

Sir , not to trouble you with idle ceremonies , trye me , and trust me : either you or your Ladie .

You saie well : but by the waie , because it is aboue thrée miles to my house , and good talke passeth the time well away , Let me entreat you to tell mee some-what of your Fortunes in your crosse courses ; if , at least , they be not such , as you will in modestie conceale , or are not willing to call in memorie .

No Sir , I feare not to satisfie your desire , either in respect of my follie or my fortune . For the first is excusable in youth , and the other is her selfe in all ages : and therefore let me tell you , thus it was : In my young and litle better then childish yeares , my father hauing put me to schoole , to a more furious then wise Schoole-master , who by the helpe of his Usher ( a better scholler then himself , ) brought vp a fewe good wits , to better vnderstanding then his owne : I hauing learn'd to spell and put together , to Construe , and Parce , to write my letters and to ioyne , and to make my mistresse Pistles , when my maister was from home : It fell out I know not how , that he , being a man very vigilant in all his courses ; and séeing my mistresse beautie able to make a good Scholler forget his lesson , imagining by his studie in Astronomie , that the signe of his Fortune , stood too straight vpon Capricorne , meaning to crosse the fates in their powers , founde a meanes to remooue all his Boorders from his house , in regarde of a Meigrum in his head , which was much troubled by the noise of our Pu-rulines . Now I , as litle guiltie , as any of the cause of his follie , was yet among my fellowes banished his house , and shortly after , sent home to our friendes . Where hauing idled it so long , that bookes were enemies to our delights , I like a good wagge among other , séeing one daie a gallant knight come home to my fathers house , finding my spirite not so dull as to dwell alwaies in one place : made all the meanes I could to preferre my selfe into his seruice . Which , with my mothers entreatie , my father brought to passe : Preferred I was to this Gallant , and from a Scholler must turne Page ; when , if I should tell you the tenth part of the waggeries , that I passed thorough , I should breake mine oathe on the Pantable , call olde trickes in question , and perhaps , wrong some that were my fellowes then , who would bee loath to heare of it nowe : Yet will I not be so sparing of my spéech , but that I dare tell you one merrie parte , that I and my good fellowes plaide , that perhaps is worth the laughing at .

I pray you do .

I will tell you : thus it was . I being in my youth reasonably well-fauoured , of a pure complexion , and of a reasonable good stature , and hauing wit enough , vpon a litle warning to plaie the wagge in the right vaine : It was my happe among other my fellow-Pages , to take knowledge , of a certaine Gallant in our Court , a man of no great worth any waie , and yet , a sufficient Blocke for Frogges to leape vppon : His yeeres about some twentie two , or there abouts , his complexion , Sea , cole-sanguine , a most wicked face , and a wit correspondent : to be short , for that ill faces make no pleasant descriptions , let it suffice , that hee was euery waie a verie filthie fellow : and yet , hauing better clothes then he was worthy to weare , and more money then he could wisely vse : This Lob-lollie , with slauering lips , would be making loue , and that not onely to one , but euerie daie one : & though he were scarse welcome to any , yet would be blush at no disgrace . This yonker had we founde out , and hearing of his disposition , we fitted his humor , one of vs would borrow a Ladies commendations , to get an Angell withall , for a message : An other get a Nose-gaie or a Baie leafe , and bring from his mistresse , which came vp with fiue , with a French Crowne : An other or two of vs , haunt him at dinner , and with a song or a Galliard , nibble on his Purse for a piece of gold : An other of vs , somewhat towards the man , and in a manner past a Page , would fall in hand with him for a rest or two , till which , some secrete tricks of our owne setting , we could diue into a few Crowns worth the taking vp . Now when we had fedde vpon him so long , that we feared it would come out : we deuised to laie a plot to be-foole him to the full . We had among vs one fine boie , ( I will not saie , my selfe , whose feature and beauty made him an amiable creature . ) This youth , we had agréed among our selues , to make a meanes , by which , to catch this Wood-cocke in a fine spring : Which , in few daies after , wee enacted , as I will tell you : we got apparrell of a Gentle-woman , ( a waiting woman of a Ladie ) of whom , hauing acquainted her with our intended sport , wee borrowed manie things fit for our purpose . This Boye ( being now a supposed Wenche ) we caused to take a lodging right ouer against this Wizards hospitall : Where , out of his window , beholding this beautifull obiect , his eies were no sooner Lymed with blindnesse , but , his heart was so set on fire with folly , that there was no wais to quench it , but the fauour of this imagined faire Ladie , Gentle-woman , or mistresse , what you will . Now , we that dailie vsed , ( more for our comfort , then his commoditie ) to visite him , no sooner in his chamber hauing gotten a view of her , but wee fell with admiration to commende her beyond the Moone for an excellent creature : Oh , what an Eie ? What a Lippe ? what a fore-head ? what a chéeke ? what a harie ? what a hand ? what a bodie ? For further , at the window we could not sée : Thus by litle and litle , we brought him halfe madde before , with conceite , ready to hang himselfe for loue . And now must those litle wits he had , go to worke , to shew his folly . Now wee must get him a Poet , to make him verses in her commendation , a Scholler to write his Loue-letters , Musique to play vnder her window , and Gloues , Scarfes , and Fannes to bee sent for presents , which might be as it were fore-speakers for his entertainment : And thus , when we had fitted him for all turnes , wee got him such fauorable accesse , vpon promise of no dishonorable attempt , that where before he was but ouer-shooes , he was nowe ouer-head-and-eares for an Asse . For now began he to thinke well of him selfe , and that he should carrie the Bellawaie for Beautie ; when hee should indéede carrie awaie the Bable for follie . Well thus , hauing a fewe daies played with his Nose , & hauing agréed with them of the house to séeme ignorant of her name and cuntrie : but that she was a suitor at the Court : They knew not wherefore , when , in pittie , to pull the poore foole too lowe on his knées : with holding him off too long from his off or on : We deuised one night that he should be at great cost with a supper in her lodging , and there should be certaine Gentle-women , to accompanie her & that should offer her what kindnesse might lie in their powers in the Court . These we brought , as wee made him beléeue , to let them sée his fauour , and good regarde with this rare creature , but came indéed onely with a forced modestie , to conceale a laughing at this Cockes-combe : not to dwell too long vpon circumstances , the Supper was prouided , the guestes bidden , the Musique in tune , the Gentleman welcome , and the Boye plaide his part in the Q. Hee had the kisse of the hand , vowes and protestations , gifts and presents , and what not , that might be witnesse of his folly ? Now a little before supper vnderstanding ( by the imagined wench , ) that she was the next morning to go out of towne , after solemne promise to bring her on her waie ( kindly accepted on her part ) to supper they went : where there were so many healths drunk to his mistrisse , that with as much a doe as might be drunken to saue his credite , hee tooke his leaue till morning , and so got him home to his lodging : where , hauing scarce , power to stand on his féet , he fell downe on his bedde , where with the helpe of a litle tricke that was put in a Cuppe of wine , he slept till next daie noone , when like a great Beare , grunting and blowing , hee goeth to the window , where missing his former object ( who was now turned Page againe ) ashamed of his breach of promise , got him to bed againe : Where , keeping his chamber for a daie or two , and then comming into the Court , séeing some of his fauours worne by one of the Pages , The Boye that plaide the Wagge with him , ashamed to demand them , and fearing his folly to be knowen in the Court : suddenly turned Clown , & with a sighing song , To the tune of , Wela-day , wel-adaie , got him in the cuntrie , where wee neuer heard more of him . Now Sir , was not this a prettie iest , & wel handled ?

Yea for wagges : I know since my selfe was a Page , a number of such waggeries . But yet , I thanke you for this merrie tale , it hath lasted a good while . But now tell mee when you had past the Page , in your next course , what merrie conceit can you remember , that maie last an other mile ? that I may thanke you for it .

I will Sir , since you take this so well : The next course I fell into was Armes : and there I remember in a Towne of Garrison , where I was in paie , the Gouernour a man whome some ill fortune without desart , had throwen vpon an unworthy honour , bring of himselfe so tymerous of nature , as that a base note of a Sagbutte would haue made him start , as if he had heard the report of a piece of Ordinance . This wicked Creature , by the meanes of his Sister ( a Minion of our Generals ) gotten into this place : where , though it were farre enough from the enemie , yet , for that ( if the skie fall , wee mase haue larkes ; and so , if the Souldiers were wearie of their liues , they might come thither for a hanging : for , except wee would fall out among our selues , there was no feare of any thing but Sparrow-blasting ; and yet here I know not what cause more then to skarre flyes , ) wee held a strong Garrison : For the Gouernour being better mooued , then otherwise minded , fearing some two-legged Rats , should breake into the mouthes of his bags , did not onely enuyron his feare ( for he was compounded all of litle better matter ) within some seauen walles without his Castle , beside Ditches of no litle breadth and déepnesse : and within , some seauentéene double and treble walles within the house : where , ( as close as a Flea in a flockebed ) he kept himselfe warme from the cold winde . Now , in this close Cabin , ( as he vsed much to conteine himself , in casting vp of his accounts ) one night , after the receipt of money for the paye of the Souldiers , locking up his bags in cheffes of Iron and then laying vp the keyes vnder his beds head , trusting none to lye in his chamber , but a sonne of his owne , who was too young to be a thiefe , and yet by outward appearance séemed to be weary of the father : with this sonne , a Page as it was said , ( a bastard of his by a Beggar ) to whom he gaue but sire pence for a daies worke : With these two ( in a Touch by his beds side ) to bedde gueth his base worship , and there , hauing made a reasonable supper tooke indifferent rest . But , after his first sléepe ( which was but a kinde of starting slumber ) he fell into a dreame : all of warres , discharging of Ordinance , fyring of houses , and crye of people : in which , not a litle amazed or frighted , he started out of his bed , with crying out Arme , Arme. The watch ( or rather the Guarde ) hearing this suddaine noyse , fearing some great Rat had bitten their Capitaine by the Nose , ( where there was a rich breakfast for a dozen of leane Mise : ) upon the suddaine brake in with , Now now my Lord ? Well quoth he , with a Hah , as though his foote being in the Chamber pot , he had bene afraid of drowning : But as a man in such a maze might some-what come to himselfe , brake into this spéech . My maisters and friends , there is no inexpected great matter of importance , but , vnto carefull spirits are reuealed in their sléepes , that by the prouidence of Gods discretion , they may be preuented . This Towne is a place of great regard with our Generall , the carefull gouernment thereof is committed vnto my honestie : I would be loath to sée the perishing of so many soules , and the secke of so manie houses , as by lacke of care may fall out , if it be not the better looked vnto : Now , what stratagems are in band we know not : The enemie is subtill and strong , wee cannot be too warie of a mischiefe , you know : Had-I-wist is a foole in all courses , and I would bee loath to loose my credite , in slacking my care in the charge committed vnto me : to be short , I was this night much troubled in my sléepe with sharpe warres , fyring of houses , the report of the Canon , and great crie of the people : and the vision , as it was very dreadfull , so it continued long , and therefore being perswaded , that it giueth me warning of some mischiefe intended against this towne , so would I bee glad in what I may to preuent it ; And therfore call hither the Capitaine of the watch vnto mee . This , when hee had stammeringly in a pitifull feare brought out , with a Palsey-shaking-hand , hauing buttoned vp his Doublet , called for his Armour ( which all of Musket proofe he put on , with al the hast that might be ) and being furnished to méete with a whole swarme of flies , ( with his double guard ) out he goes and méetes the Capitaine in his Hall : where , the winde blowing high , and making a noyse in the house , he staied & asked him , harke quoth he , doe you not heare the noyse of some shot ? Oh no , Sir quoth he , it is the winde in the Chimney . Oh , is it so said he , then good enough . But let me tel you , I haue had a shrewde dreame to night : and therefore am willing to walke the Round , to sée how the Souldiers kéepe watch . My Lord , quoth the Capitaine , you shall néed to doubt nothing vpon my life I warrant you . It is now towards daie , and the watch is vpon discharge ; I praie you kéepe your Chamber , and take your rest . Well , quoth he , if it be so , I know you carefull and honest , and I will leaue all to your charge , till I come abroad : And so leauing the Capitaine , retires himselfe into his chamber : where , kéeping on his Armour , here sets him downe in a chaire , and there not trusting his bed any longer for that time , hauing taken a nappe or two ; the watch vpon their discharge , gaue the Capitaine a volley of shot ; the noyse whereof awaking this gallant man of two Armes : Doe , quoth he , to the Guard , one of ye know , what shot is this ? who bringing him word of the discharge of the watch , he was a litle at quiet . But the daie being a Saints daie , when vsually the Countrie people used to make such pastime , as fitted the condition of their humors : some-what early from a Wood vnder a hill , which fronted the Towne , and there with Drummes and Fifes ( and a few loose shot ) came toward the towne , to make the Gouernour merrie , with a Maie-game and a Morris . Now such a Wagge as my selfe minding to make my selfe and some of my friends merrie with a Iest , hauing intelligence of the same the night before , yet seeming ignorant thereof , came into the Towne , with Arme , Arme , for the enemie is at hande . This crie being brought to the gouernour , ( he in a colde sweat , what with feare , and the weight of his Armour ) called presently for his Captaines , gaue euery one their charge what to doe : which done , prouiding as well as hee might for one : Barricadod all his gates without , and all his doores within : And in the midst of a Loue-roome , within a wall of twentie yeardes thicke of stone , Barricadod himselfe within a great wall of earth , which was made for a Fornace to caste mettell in for Ordinance : There , ouer-head and eares in feare sits he with his two Pages . The doore fast locked to him , till anone , the people being come in with their merrie shew : went a messenger from the Capitaine of the watch , to entreat his Lordship to bee partaker of the Pastime , and to entreat the people with some kindnesse . The messenger being come to the doore and let in , before he could deliuer his message : Well quoth hee , ( imagining the enemies before the walles ) What is the Parlée that he offereth thée ? Parley my Lord , quoth the Messenger , it is a Pastime : There is no enemie , all friends : Your poore neighbours are come to make you merrie with a Morris-daunce , and a Maie-game . Yea , quoth he , is it none other ? and with looking in his Purse , and giuing him iust nothing : It is well ; staie awhile , Boie , giue me my sword and my Target , that my neighbours shall sée how readie I was to méete the enemie vpon the least Alarum . And with these wordes , causing the Trumpet to sound a merrie Dote for ioye of the deliuerance of his feare : Out he comes among them , and like an Asse ( as euer man was ) shewes himselfe . After , a litle gratulation ( leauing them in their sports ) got him againe into his lodging , and there calling for his breakfast , put off his Armour , and went to bed againe : where , let him lye till I raise him .