Grandsire graybeard. Or Machiauell displayed

Grandsire Graybeard .

The Preface . COme hither Son , and learne thy fathers lore , It is not now as it hath beene of yore : For in my youth would no man read to me , That now ( in age ) I can deliuer thee .

Precept 1. IF thou wilt be a man of much esteeme , Be not the same what euer so thou seeme . Speake faire to all , be courteous , gentle , kiad , But let the world know nothing of thy minde . Let slip no time , may be for th●n e●uai●e , But trust no friend for Faith beginnes to faile , Refuse no gifts to fill thy coffers full , The wisest poore man passeth for a Gull . Be temperate in affect , no quarrels moue , And if thou loue thy selfe , f●ll not in loue . Haue care for all men , but confer with few , And count faire words to be but as a dew . Follow the time , finde humors , flatter pride , And praise the Groom , but only please the Bride . Str●ue not with great ones , meddle not with small , ●or trifles trouble not thy selfe at all . Frequent the Church , make shew of great deuotion And be not bashfull to receiue promotion . Looke big at beggers , weare thy cloathes neat , And spen● not to much money at thy meat . Saue thy horse-meat at thy couzins stable , And take thy trencher at anothers table . Breake iests on cowards , but take heede of knaues , And loue no bawds for they are beastly slaues . Be perfect in Arithmeticks close Art , In all accompts to make a sauing part . Obserue the Lyon , doe not stirre the Beare , And loue the Woolfe but only for the haire . Learne of the Asse to beare , the Dogge to wait . And of the Ape to counterfet conceit . Catch not at flies , they are but swallowes food , But loue the meat that nourisheth the blood . Feed like a Woolfe on blood whilst it is warme . He is a foole that feeles anothers harme . Yet scome as kinde as he that seemes to crie , To see him sicke , whom he would wish to die . Take heed of interest , sell nor gage no land , And from assurance euer keepe thy hand . Take no mans word , for coine is hard to get , And t' is a custome ( now ) to pay no debt . Stand not to looke vpon a Peacocks taile , Who ( if he see his leggs ) will stoope his sailer When Iack-Dawes chatter , let the language go , Better be silent then to prattle so . Come not within the verdict of a Iury , And come not neare a Tyrant in his fury : Commit no secrets to thy second Selfe , For neuer yet was Ape but plaid the Elfe . Kill not a flie , and let a flea alone , That sucks the blood , and neuer hurts the bone . File not thy finger's with a filthy Slut , And ride not often on a gauld-backt cut . Feare not a shadow , but auoid a danger , And doe not keepe a Iade at rack and manger , Remember nothing that thou doest not write , Lest danger doe thy fearefull heart affright . Be sociable in each company , But haue no hand in any villany . Be conuersant with strangers , learne languages , Sound their estate , marke their carriages , Know their diuersities of wares , their worths and prises , But trouble not thy selfe with vain deuices . Learn to know kingdoms , nations & their natures Their lawes their iudgements male & female creatures ; And how their wealth doth rise , by war or peace , And how their states begin , and how they cease ; How they may be offended or defended , And how their quarrels grow and which way ended . But of all Notes , note chiefely this of all , How thou maist rise , who euer hap to fall . Suspect thy wit , be wary of thy will , And learne to spare , but neuer learne to spill . Thinke no man wise but he that gathers wealth , And keepe the diet that preserues thy health . Sit not vp late , vnlesse it be for gaine , For lack of sleepe is hurtfull for the braine . Goe not to Sea , whilst thou maist liue on land , Lest scaping rockes thou fall vpon the Sand. Trauell with ease , take heed of taking cold , And ( next to God ) take comfort in thy gold . Get all contentment that the world can giue , For ( after death ) who knoweth how we liue ? Strange things are spoken , but beleeue the best , And leaue the worst . I leaue thee to the rest . Promise enough , but not performe too much : Yet with thy betters euermore keepe touch . Weare not thy shooes too short , nor cloake too long Vse thy friends well , but doe thy selfe no wrong . Abandon foo●es , make much of cunning wits , But fauour most that most thy profit fits . Worke all the weeke for profit euery way , And keepe thy Conscience for the Holy day . First if thou be a Courtier , know thy place , And doe not serue for only shew of grace ; But let thy profit answerthy expence , Lest want do proue a wofull patience , And thou doe proue the prouerbe often told , A carelesse Courtier young , a begger old . And if thou beest a Scholler and canst preach And knowest rightly how thy flocke to teach ; Let neuer conscience at thy profit knocke , But sheare thy sheepe , and fleece anothers flockes For be thou poore what ere thy preaching be , Thy parish will not passe a pin for thee . If that thou be a Souldier , serue for fame But let thy golden pay maintaine the same ; For he that spends more then he gets in sight , Will be a begger , though he be a knight . And if thou be a Lawyer , know the right , But keepe thy client in a cunning plight . For how canst thou a cunning pleading hold , If that thy tongue be not well tipt with gold ? And rich attir'd , thou shalt haue roome to stand , And plead thy cause whatere thou hast in hand . But barely clad , and in a poore array , Thou maist ( perhaps ) haue hearing at dooms-day : For though the Law be right and iudge be iust , Yet with the rich the begger may not thrust . If that thou be a Merchant marke thy trade , And of thy wares what reckning will be made ▪ And be not lauish in a lewd expence , Lest banqu'rout proue a bad experience . And if thou be a crafts man weigh thy paines , And let no Alehouse eat out all thy gaines ; For if thy charge aboue thy getting goe Thou wilt be quickly in the beggers Roe . What saith the crafty clowne in clowted shooes ? Time was ordain'd to get , and not to loose . What though the poore lie staruing in the ditch ? It is the dearth of corne makes farmers rich . Aime still at profit howsoere it growes , Make the wind serue thee wheresoere it blowes , For t is this wealth , this profit , and this gaine , That dies the coulour euer more in graine . Learne the Physitian and the Lawyers fee , And ( for thy profit ) speake as faire as hee . Promise the one good speed , the other health , In any course t is good to gather wealth . Learne all diseases and their seuerall cures , And care not what the patient heart endures ; But giue him one day griefe , another case , Not as his patience but his purse doth please . Learne Cards and Dice , and any cheating play That may bring in thy profit any way . Learne how to stop a Card and cogge a Die , But shift it cleanely from the Gamesters eye : At Ruffe and Trumpe note how the dealer rubs , There is no packe without the Knaue of clubs . Learne all Religions , be of eu'ry Sect , And ( chiefely ) to thy profit haue respect . For this same ( conscience ) is so bare a thing , As it will make a begger of a King . Learne to get riches by the beggers purse , The Fox fares best when geese begin to curse . Learne eu'ry trade and traffique , traine and tricke , And liue not by the dead but by the quicke . In summe , of what estate soere thou be , Learne to be rich , for that will hold with thee ; Be rich I say my Boy , be rich and wise , Gold is a precious mettall for the eyes . Why ? rich men ( they ) haue money and gay geere , And goodly houses , and most dainty cheefe : Faire wiues , fine pictures , plaies & courtly dances And many cheats that come by many chances : Braue Siuer boxes , sweet perfumes and waters , And twenty other moe such kinde of matters . Whiles the poor man that pines for want offriends May sit and sigh and picke his fingers ends . And eu'ry morning wash his face with teares , And wipe his blubbred eyes with sheu'led heares ; And walke abroad for forrowes recreation , Or starue himselfe , or feed on contemplation . Make curtsie to the shadow of a Lord . And glad to get a looke , and halfe a word ; Blush and fal● back when gay folke come in place , And start to looke a Lady in the face . Talke to the aire where no man lists to heare him , And plod alone , where no man will come neer him . And thus recording of a heauy care , He feeds ( perhaps ) vpon a hungry fare ; Till some good Knight or learned Gentleman , ( That is a prudent Polititian And can make vses of afflicted braines , And gather profit from their toiling paines ) May hap to grace him with a countenance , Giue him a blew coat with a cognizance , An old cast doublet , or a paire of boots , Feed him with brown bread , smal beere , hearbs & roots And now and then ( perhaps ) a peece of meat , That scarce a man would giue a dogg to eat ; Or after ( haply ) some good seruice done , Make him a Tutor to his youngest Sonne . Laugh at those beggers , speake in scorne at pelse Care thou for nothing but t' enrich thy selfe . For Truth reports that doth of thrift intreat , If thou be rich thou quickly writ be great . Plot for a pudding , or a peece of souse , The Cat would neuer watch ( but for a Mouse , ) The Fox would neuer hunt ( but for his prey . ) And workmen ( but for gaine ) would play all day ▪ It is this Wealth , this Profit , and this Gaine , That makes the Labourer sing away his paine . Set snares for Wod cocks , pit-falls for small birds , And catch a foole with nothing but faire words . Dandle the Child , grow inward with the Nurse , And thinke no beggry base that fills the purse . Laugh with the Lecher at Maides bash fulnes , And with the Chaste at fleshly filthinesse , And with the spend-thrift at the misers buggs , And with the Miser at the beggers raggs . Diss wade no Princes from their choice of pleasure , Nor a rich Miser from his loue of treasure . If he be rich , what euer so he be , Seeme in thy humour to be iust as he . If he be poore , then let him beg alone , It is a trade that few grow rich vpon . Perswade a slaue he is a gentleman , Although he drop out of a dripping pan : It is no matter , if his purse can beare it ; His rascall pride wih neuer blush to heare it . Perswade a Clowne , that he is halfe a Knight , And that his wealth deserues that place aright , And his Maid-Marian with her winscot face , Might be a Lady ( but for licke of grace . ) And make her thinke that she is halfe a Queene , And scarce on earth is such another seene , For vertue , beauty , wit , for shape and feature : Though God ( he ) knowes , that she is no such creature . But if she doe applaud it , t is no matter ; He is a foole ( for profit ) cannot flatter . Commend a Souldier when he is in crownes , And sweare a Knight must gouerne ouer Clownes . In many a campe how be his caske did beare , Although ( poore Coward ! ) he came neuer there : But yet be sure thy flattery so to frame That thine may be the gaine , though his the fame . Commend the Lawyer , and his studious reading , Admi●e his iudgement , and extoll his pleading● But flatter so , that if thou get a fee , Thou mai'st haue out a share as well as he . Follow a Bishop with a world of praise , And make him as the Loadstarre of thy dayes ; Admi●e him , and extoll him to the skies , But so , that thou maist get a Benefice , A Vicridge , Cure , a Clarkeship or some such , As will returne thee profit small or much . Commend the A●c●ant , honour his aduenture , Who gets his wealth by danger , not Indenture ; Commend his ●ade his craffique , and his truth , The honor of his age , and toyle of youth ; But yet ( with all ) be sure to flatter so , That to thy purse some peece of money grow , Or on his boord thy trencher may be laid , Or borrowed money neuer to be paid , And tell ( What-lacke yee ) that he lackes no wit , And ( for his head ) that he deserues to sit On higher seates then the Church-wardens stooles For he hath more wit then a world of fooles . But yet in feeding of his idle vaine , Be sure to pick-out some odd priuate gaine A rapier , dagger , stockings , boots , or shoes , Some-what doth well , though beggers may not chose . Tell Mistr●s-minks ( coy she ) that keepes the shop , She is a Ship that beares a gallant top ; She is a Lady for her louely face , And for her countenance halfe a Princesse grace ; Then bite the lippe and winke , and hang the head , And giue a figh as if thy heart were dead . And shew strange passions of affections sence , That she may pittie loue ( Sr. ) reuerence . But let the issue of this comming be , That from her purse some profit come to thee . A peece of sattin , fustian , or some stuffe , A falling band , or a three double-ruffe , A hat , a shirt , a cloak-cloth , or a ring , Kniues , purses , gloues , or some such pretty thing , For ( somewhat hath some sauour ) t' is this gaine , That to muention giues the sweetest vaine . Why ? tell a Cobler he is halfe a King , When ore his patches he can sit and sing , And knocke his Last , and whet his cutting knife , There is no kingdome to a merry life . But yet in telling of this idle tale , Be sure ( at least ) to get a pot of ale . For this same ( nothing ) brings no world about , Better play small games then be cleane shut out . If that thy Wife be faire , and thou be poore , Let her stand like a picture at thy doore , Where ( though she doe put picke her fingers ends ) Faire eies , fond looks will gaine a world of friends , Play at bo-peepe , see me , and see me not , It comes off well that is so closely got . And euermore ( say I ) well fare the vent , That paies the charges of the house and rent . If that thy Wife be old , thy daughter young , And faire of face , or of a fluent tongue ; If by her Sutours siluer may be had , Beare with small faults , the good wil help the bad . If thy Maid-seruants be kind hearted wenches , And closely make kinde bargains on thy benches , If by their pleasure may thy profit grow , Winke at a wanton ; who hath not beene so ? If that thy friend doe lacke a little wit , And in his humor haue an idle fit , To take a Wife , and vse thee for his wooing , Speake for thy friend , but for thy selfe be doing , For euery friend is to his friend a debter , To loue him as himselfe , ( but yet no better . ) But for thy selfe if thou hast got a Wife , Make shew to loue her dearely ( as thy life ) Though ( for thy quiet ) ●hou couldst be content , A 〈◊〉 charge were at her buriall spent . An● 〈◊〉 ●hat ( charge ) be of thy griefe he ground , For many Wiues are better lost then found . 〈…〉 come vnto the second matching , 〈…〉 for feare of cunny catching , M 〈…〉 to twenty wenche , in a day , But let no ●…sid●es lead thy heart away . But where thou find'st good store of land , or gold , There lay in close to purchase a tree-hold . And be not squ●mish at a nice conceit , That may disswade thee from a pleasing bait . If thou be rich and ha'st anothers pride , ( That he may goe on foote while thou dost ride ) Finde meanes to feede his swelling humor so , That high conceit may aboue compasse go , Till Fortunes frownes his folly so do checke , That male ▪ content do after breake his necke ; Then lay in for his lands , his goods , his place , But still bee sure to keepe thy selfe in grace . But if thou be not vp , and seek'st to rise , Step by degrees , and in thy steps be wise . Creepe , crouch , and kneele , vntill thou be aloft , But then sit fast , for feare , thou fall not soft . Refuse no seruice , be it nere so base , By any meanes may bring thee into grace . And make no conscience to attend on sin , To keepe the doore where Diuels dance within . Find a rich Heire , and note his disposition , How he is giu'n to basenesse or ambition , And with thy lending lay his land aboord , That he may be thy slaue and thou his Lord . Who in the whole will vndermine so fast , Hee 'le leaue his Lordship like the land of wast . If that thou hast a Partner in thy stocke , And both your wealths lie all vnder one locke ; And if thy Partner ride abroade for pleasure , And put thy faith in trust with all thy treasure ; At his returne do vpon quarrels stand , When thou hast got his wealth into thy hand . Say , in accounts he hath deceiued thee , ( Although thou knowest no such matter be : ) When , if he will not take what thou wilt giue him To course of law ( for his best comfort ) driue him : Where , while he railes on thy ill conscience , Thy patience closely shall put vp his pence . And whatsoeuer honest mindes surmise , Wealth ( with the wealthy ) make the wealthy wise . Be rich therefore , I say , be rich my Sonne , For wealth will sway the world when all is done .