IT is not vnknowne to your selfe nor the world , that I continued a prentiship the superlatiue Prodigal , either I am ashamed to diuulge , ●hen God himself commands vpon ●enalty of eternall damnation , Iam. 5.16 . yet it griues my very soule that euer I ga●● occasion to be recorded . But I ho●● this my irrecouerable follie will p●uent future ages for falling into fearefull a danger ; otherwise as th● birth was miserable , so their dea● will be lamentable : which to me w●● rather aggrauate my sorow , then 〈◊〉 tenuate my torment , though in te●porall affayres many bearers less● the weight , and ease the surcharg● sufferer , but in spirituall none ref●sheth the oppressed ; especially yo●● dissolute brother , who hath in a m●ner searched the records of heaue● for a President to make his title 〈◊〉 hell vnquestionable : Exod 20. as you may t● more perspicuously perceiue by the dreadfull following lines . O 〈◊〉 dearest Microcosme in nature , wi●● what vnwillingnes do I lay open my disobedience against the first Commandement , knowing my own conscience pleads guilty in the highest manner , for debasing his name , Essence , and Glory , below the degree of a temporall Lord , a mechanicke Magistrate , or pesant Iustice , in honouring them more with cap and knee , then his omnipotent person that created me . But when I cast my eye vpon the second , there finde I a distraction of madnesse , though I haue not worshipped the molten calfe of brasse , iron , stone & the like ; yet haue I done sacrifice to the image of liuing clay , with that adoration as I made the female sexe my godesses on earth , and left the refuse of my time for the seruice of him that made me : howsoeuer touching the third I so much prophaned the Deitie of his name , that I made it my familiar discourse , for which in iustice I am culpable of death . But as for the fourth I continually mixt my weake douotions with so many erronious pleasures , that to my knowledge , I kept not one whole Sabbath for his gory : wherby I am debarred of claiming either loue , fauour , or mercy : but the course of perdition , which for surer violating the first , I was so sparing in shewing either reuerence or dutie to my parents , that I seldome payed any tribute as I ought , whereby I haue deserued not onely the shortnesse of dayes , but the losse of their fatherly blessings . As for the first thanks be to God , I haue not ●ctually shed the bloud of any man , ●nd whether it were not more for ●eare of punishment by the decree of ●nan , then the law of God , I neither ●an say nor iustifie my selfe ; but to ●ny remembrance am free from that ●rying sinne : howsoeuer for the sea●enth , if I should deny the acknowedgment of that deadly sinne , the ●ynt actors in my lustfull recreation will cry out vengance on my con●emnation : for we euer held it as a ●port of pleasure brought into the world by nature , and at the most va●ued in the ranke of veniall sinnes : ●ut now it speakes death vnto mee , ●nd I feare , no comfort vnto them , which for the eight you know in my ●hildhood was guilty : so that I can ●eit her acquite nor accuse my selfe of any mortall fact : and as for th● ninth , I canot plead ignorance , but t● my knowledge was neuer brough● to the test before a seat of impartia● iustice . Yet as I was , it is ten to on● that I should haue proued more fles● than spirit , more false than honest but certainly for the tenth I mu●● confesse my self guilty to all , either b● thought , or act , with delectation 〈◊〉 affection . Thus you see the ma●row and sinnewes of the whole la●● haue I broken , which makes m●● liable to eternall torture , death , an● damnation ; God forgiue them tha● were the occasion . Yet if the mult●tude of these crying sinnes were ●●period of my transgressions , I migh● haue hope by the death and passio● of my Sauiour . But when I pond● ●●on the barbarous and inhumane ●rriage vsed towards his mercies ; it ●●tinguisheth the light of comfort , ●●our , or pardon , for God knowes ●●am more worthy of death by his ●ath , then for violating he whole ●●w of Moses , in that I haue committed ●ortall sinnes against him that died ●r my sinnes ; Heb. 12.25 . by making the ●oanes and sorrowes in his passion ●e robe of shelter to my base wicked ●●d detestable pleasures : for that I ●●ar'd not prosecuting the life of my ●●rsed offences vpon presumption of ●s mercies , not searing his iustice ; ●or pittying his sufferings : whereby haue exceeded the fact of Iudas or ●●e Senate of Iewes , for the one be●ayed him but once , I a thousand ●●es : the other crucified him out of ignorance , I a million out of wilfulnesse● What assurement ( deare brother ) ca● be expected by me that am worse th● those whom I haue named , but th● dreadfull ruine of permanent perdit●on . ●zek. 18. ●ccle 5. Yet you will say God is mercifu● vpon repentance at the last gasp●● which cannot be denyed : so likewi●● my conscience tels me hee is iu●● which will not be contradicted . Mat. 5.17.18 . Fo● certainly without my repentance ●●quall my transgressions , the Churc● may absolue me , ●eue . 18. but not assure m● And I should vainly expect remissio● by any gho●tly fathers absolution , 〈◊〉 I continue in any one sinne whi●● lieth in my power to preuent : Ioh. 3. ● . 6 . 〈◊〉 the greatest comfort of continuan● in all my calamitie was the swe●● saying of our Sauiour , that himsel● ●●d his Angels ioyed more at the ●●nuersion of one sinner which ●●ely repents then ninty nine righ●ous . O with what an vnspeake●ble happinesse was this cordiall ●erse to my afflicted soule ; wherein ministred the application daily to ●●fresh my sad heart and wearisome ●nses ; but at last it proued bitter as all in operation and digesting . For ●hen I searched into the mistery of ●●id sense , there I found it was ninety ●ine to one , that a wilfull sinner ne●er truly repented ; otherwise you ●ould make God ioy more in a sin●●ll wicked mans life then a religious godly liuer : which brought me into ●o fearfull a danger of desperation , ●hat had you or any other beene ●n eye-witnesse in the agony of my perditious soule , it would hau● made the flintiest heart soone choose to wrestle with a Lion then commit a mortall sinne against the immortall God which created him . Yet after a long debat●● betwixt hope and despaire , the president of Saul otherwise called Paul , d●stilled into me the happines of hope by reason his palpable crimes reflected some equality to my offences 〈◊〉 but at last his patterne left mee in 〈◊〉 darke Ecclips , for that they were errors executed out of ignorance , Tim. 1. ● . no● wilfully , and therefore obtayned remission vpon his contrition . I the● ministred to my deiected soule th● mercies conferred on Mary Magdalene : ●uke 7. ● . yet notwithstanding small wa● my reliefe , for that her conflict o● ●●pentance did in a manner exceed others , and her transgressions but ●●e of the seuen deadly sinnes . ●hereupon I applied the thiefe on ●●e Crosse as my last refuge : but ●ere I saw apparant lesse shelter : for 〈◊〉 the raysing of Lazarus from the ●aue was onely a miracle to shew ●●at he was Christ the Messias ; Luk. 23. Ioh. 11. euen 〈◊〉 my conscience telles me , that the ●n paralleld mercy vpon the theefe , Mat. 26.38 . 〈◊〉 as preordained only for that houre 〈◊〉 be as a witnesse of his wrongfull ●●nominious suffering , and not any ●ssurement of safety for vs to build ●●n . Thus being depriued ( as you ●ay perceiue ) from all hope in the ●●ue of God by my disobedience , from all mercy by my matchlesse ●resumption , and from all comforts in malefactours by my superlati● transgressions , together with inwa●● griefes of the ioyes I had lost : a●● the wofull exchange of heauen f● hell , brought me into that despera● extasie , as I fell suddenly on th● ground in a trance , where diue iudgements of God reiterated to 〈◊〉 memory , that were executed alrea●● vpon his dearest seruants for lesse ●●fences : which closed all the facu●ties of my body and soule into an o●● scure darkenesse : but thankes be 〈◊〉 the diuine prouidence , that restore me soone after to my former tra●quility : and hauing recouered a se●sible feeling , my oppressed heart d●sired to know whether his iudgements were so seuere as my apprehension led mee . I suddenly ma●● to my poore caue , God knowes ●th troubled thoughts ; for my co●●tions were eyther drowning or ●●cuting my selfe : yet those assalts ●asily repulsed by Gods assisting ●●mission , with the president of Iu●●● and the like : but then opening 〈◊〉 booke of the old and new Testa●ent , there I found our first parent ●●am , whom God gaue dominion the whole world , Gen. 3.17 . yet for eating ●●e apple forbidden though it was the intisement of another , hee and ●●s posteritie were extinguished for ●●er . Num. 20.27.33 . Likewise Moses and Aaron notwithstanding they could obtaine ●●y thing at Gods hands ; yet for that ●●ey somewhat doubted of the mira●e promised by God , they were de●tred for euer going into the land of promise . 1. Sam. 15.17.18.23 . Againe Saul whom 〈◊〉 chose to be the first King of his p●ple , was degraded of his dignitie , 〈◊〉 giuen ouer to the hands of an e●spirit , for that he did but reserue so certaine spoiles of warre , being comanded to the contrary . Leuit. 10.2 . Besides suddaine killing of Nadah and Ab●● sonnes of Aaron for once offering ther fire then was appointed th●● The striking deade of Ananias 〈◊〉 Sapphira for onely retaining so●● part of their owne goods by dece● from the Apostles , Acts. 5.10 . Likewise the iection of Cain and his linage fo●●uer straight vpon his murther . Gen. 7.10 . ●●sides Beniamin the onely sonne of ●●cob whom God loued so dearely , Gen. 4.2 . Iudg. 20. 〈◊〉 for one sinne that was committed Gibeah vpon the wife of a Leu● ●od destroyed almost the whole ●●be of men , women , and children ; ●ith many other examples , which ●aring to claime any alliance of Iues I surceased with repentance that I ●ad them . O my deare brother , that 〈◊〉 presumptuous sinners had felt the ●●ck of my torture at the same instant ●●ey would haue confessed in their earts , that God is seuere and iust as ●e is infinitly mercifull : yet my con●ience alwaies assured me hee neuer ●ft a sinner that desired truly to re●ent , without a sinner forsooke him , ●hich was some ease to my surchar●ed sufferings . But the arch-enemy ●f man continued his Rhetorickes ●nd applications of despaire , reuea●ng alwaies to my memory these ●nd the like herse-like sounding presidents of holy writ : if the righteo● shall scarcely be saued , where shall ● vngodly and sinner appeare ? 1. Pet. 4.17.18 . and iudgement begin at the house of Go● what shall the expectation or end wicked men be ? howsoeuer I douted not in the mercy of my Sauio● but in my owne base and vnworth● demerits ; for that hee is certaine● faithfull : Heb. 10.23 . if I hold fast the professio● of my faith according to the measu● which he hath giuen me ; yet wh● with Satans assaulting , my sinn● afflicting , and feare of not obta●ning Gods fauour , it transformed 〈◊〉 from what I was , to the portrai●u● of an Anatomy ; as the Inhab●tants neere adioyning to the say● Isle can witnesse . For those tha● came to visit me , out of charity pittied me , and I in Christianity grie●ed as much for their ignorance , which being by his sacred pleasure brought to deaths doore , and readie to yeeld vp the ghost in a ●amentable spectacle betweene hope and despaire ; at last there appeared spirituall-wise an apparition of my own picture , the prodigall sonne , Luk. 15. without intermission to my soule and sences , which did reflect so much internall comfort , as a woman in the agonie of her paines , ioies to see a manchilde borne into the world , Iohn 16.21 . and forgets her past sufferings ; euen so the dailie contemplation of this cordiall parable restored mee to that height of happinesse , as it did more auert the dolour of griefe , sorrow , and despaire , then all the felicity I receiued by presidents in the ol● and new Testament : but when my conscience assured me the first part of his life I had acted to my eternall destruction , and that of necessity I must follow the second to obtaine my redemption , otherwise it would prooue infortunate and fatall , which hauing pondered vpon the imbecillitie of my owne nature , the allurements of the world , and continuall assaults of Sathan , I feard it would prooue too strict a captiuitie for mee to passe thorow : whereupon I pleaded , our Sauiour died for all sinners , yet my conscience answered , it was for none but those which truelie beleeued him in their liues , and vnfainedlie repented in their hearts , which made mee remem●er the dreadfull saying of Christ himselfe , Rom. 9.27 . Few are the number that should be saued . O affectionated Brother , that all my prodigall expences had beene transformed into pious charities , my former pleasures into penitent praiers , and my vaine discourses into true confessions : then had I not liued a diligent slaue to Sathan , Iam. 5.16 . but a dutifull seruant to my Sauiour : which , God knowes , now the neglect of either so much sounds reprobate as makes me descend with a dolefull heart and alleadge my birthright by baptisme . But like a soft aire it answered not elected by adoption ; reiterating to my perplexed thoughts the president ● infortunate Esau , who found n● place of repentance , Heb. 12.17 . though he sought it carefullie with teares But when at last I read the feare full saying of our Sauiour , Mani● were called , Mat. 20.10 . but few were chosen O what an immortall wound ● gaue me ; for my decrepit hop● enforced me to curse conception birth , & life , wishing the plague of Egypt had beene my copartners , rather than those deceitful● pleasures my companions , which made mee so incapable of creation , redemption , and election . I thus continued in this wofull spectacle for the space of two daies , not caring to minister either rest , or nourishment to my wearisome body , but did wholly contemplate on my forlornd estate , say●ng to my selfe , How should I know whether I bee elected or not ? The spirit answered , either by a good life or true repentance , which vpon examination was small comfort to me , hauing neither performed the one , nor endeuoured the other . Whereupon finding my selfe by the allurements of Sathan , vanities of the world , and frailties of nature , brought into so desperate , wretched , and dangerous case , that if I did not forsake my selfe , there was no saluation , but damnation : notwithstanding his death and passion , which coniured mee by Gods permission , faithfullie to resolue to discard all pleasures , doubts , scruples , or feares , and wholly depend vpon the sweet saying of our Sauiour , Esay . 1.18 . Though my sinnes were as red as scarlet , yet hee would make them as white as snow ; if so be my repentance proceed from contrition of heart during life ; otherwise I might feare , mistrust , despayre , for I should much rob● God of his iustice in depending● vpon his mercy , Ioh. 15.22 . Psal. 85.10 . and damne my● soule with presuming on his fauour , when himselfe protesteth they both kisse each other ; especiallie his preseruation from so many dangers in the world , and the assaults in this my conflict , hath made me resolutely to set my rest vpon the anchor of this hope , that if neither inward griefes nor penitent praiers by the mercies of our Sauiour cannot attaine vnto the ioyes of heauen ; I will striue to mitigate my torments in hell ; but certainelie I am resolued rather to suffer death , then commit any grieuous or wilfull sinne : for I should accompt my selfe more accursed then either Heathen , Pagan , Turke or Infidell , by how much my knowledge exceedes their ignorance , and his prouidence my basenesse , in exhaling me out of Sodome to Zoar , from an euill bewitching Court , into a delightfull solitarie Caue , where no fraud , pride , nor deceipt inhabits . O my beloued Brother , if you or any other did but know the inestimable happinesse , which retirednesse bequeathes those that depend vpon Gods prouidence , and are resolued to encounter temptation by reformation . I am confident the man liues not that desires preseruation of his soule , but would rather affect the solitarie continent life , then all the pleasures of Solomon . Though I must confesse the first two months were both fearefull , dangerous and desperate : but after repulsing the vi●lent allusions of Sathan by these generall pleas to all his assaulting accusations , alleadging , I both confirmed and acknowledged his words to bee true , that the wickednesse of my life neither had , nor could deserue any hope , fauor ● pardon ; and that I confidently ●eleeued as he said , it were impos●ble so many sinnes should escape ●npunished , hauing the same God ● be iudge , which not onely crea●ed , redeemed , and preserued , but ●nowes how opprobrious and ●ontemptible I haue beene to all ●s Lawes , Statutes , and Iudge●ents , giuing credence to his ●ords from my heart , that euerie ●ilfull sinne should bee afflicted ●ith contrary particular torment , ●onfessing that Gods sacred iustice ●espected no persons , but rewar●ed euery man according to his ●eserts ; and therefore hee might ●est assured of mee when euer my Sauior was pleased to pronounce ●is sentence : for that I knew my past life deserued none other , a● as for future , himselfe warrant● could merit no other . Yet in rega● Gods vnsearchable prouiden● gaue me life after so many inh●mane transgressions , and bele●uing the comfortable sayings 〈◊〉 Christs owne words : those thing which are impossible to man , we● no whit impossible to God , Mar. 10.27 . f● that he desired not the death of 〈◊〉 sinner , but ioyes more at the co●uersion of one offender , then nin●tie nine righteous . Besides himselfe had made mee more capab● of apprehending Gods hatred t● sinne , seueritie in punishment , an● his blessings presumptuously abused by my basenesse . So that 〈◊〉 were a monster in nature , if eue● ● did more offend the Deietie of ●is sacred name . Heb. 10.26 . Ioh. 15.22 . For in commit●ng wilfull sinne , I should bee ●onfident it would trench against ●e Holy Ghost , attributing , hee ●artly rewarded the prentiship of ●ny seruice in reuealing the naked ●uth of my wretched estate ; pro●esting vpon the faith of my salua●ion , let him say what he would , ●ttempt what hee could , yet no●hing should allure mee ( by Gods ●ssistance ) neither to despaire , nor ●ffend my Creator more , but lea●ing soule , body , life and death , at his will and pleasure ; acknowledging my selfe , that if he had made me one of his number , I had iustly deserued it ; and if his infinite ●mercy saued mee , I must confesse it were a miracle . Howsoeuer 〈◊〉 would bee no longer disobedient● for that might prooue ingratitud● vpon ingratitude ; I knowing what fauours God hath bestowed , and now hee telling mee wha● offences I haue committed , assuring him , if hee were permitted to punish mee with bodily affliction and temporall crosses the mor● I were certaine of spirituall comfort . Thus is , and euer shall continue my resolution by the helpe of him that made me ; for before I had fixed my heart , soule and sences vpon this intire affection , neuer to be violated by any stratagemes whatsoeuer . I was perpetually troubled with vncharitable thoughts , vnquiet feares , & desperate despaires : but now I ●nde they are either lessened , or ●se I am carelesse of them : Inso●uch , that my inward faculties ●re mollified with a sensible humi●ty , to offer vp my morning and ●uening sacrifice , as a daily trib●●●●f contrition , that euer I did 〈◊〉 end , and a trembling feare for to ●ffend ; wherein one night aboue ●ll the rest I cannot chuse but im●art the rapture of so much ioy , ●hat me thought my apprehension was transformed into another ●emisphere , yet durst not presume ●n his mercy for feare of robbing ●is iustice , by reason I could ne●er attaine to so high a pitch of ●elestiall happinesse , but in a lo●er orbe of teares and sorrowes , to which I ascribe God the glo●● For when I my selfe was a co●panion of others , those discipli● posternes were as heathen gree● to me , which now they proo● my daily delights of recreation , y● shall neuer be at quiet vntill I ha● obtained the period of that form● felicity , which if nightly watc●ing , daily fasting , continuall praying , or corporall affliction , ca● extract this vnparalleld comfor● I will remaine constant , by th● permission of God during life : o●ly reseruing so much time f● nourishing the faculties of natu●● that I may continue the longe● But peraduenture some of yo● lukewarme diuines will not admit of this life , though I am min● owne taskemaster : yet I hope you ●ill not build vpon the Theory 〈◊〉 anothers opinion , more than ●e practise of your Brother , that ●inioyned to loue you as his own ●ule ; howsoeuer for my particu●r , may I neuer prosper in this my ●terprize , if all deuines should ●ake it not lawfull by thetorick , ●eech , or traditions from Adam , ●ey would not reflect the least ●ought of reuolt : for that I haue ●yned more knowledge , hope , ●nd comfort to my oppressed ●ule in this one yeere of retired●esse , than fowre prentiships be●●re ; yet I take God to witnesse , ●ere is no man breathing that weth a more greate reuerence 〈◊〉 their function and doctrine , then my selfe . But if his diui● permission amplifies a blessing my second edition ( as my hope depending ) I will giue such an 〈◊〉 sured satisfaction , that your hea● soule , and sences shall say , God the author , and man subiect 〈◊〉 palpable erronious errours . 〈◊〉 the meane time following 〈◊〉 president of holy Dauid , my tru● is in God , and therefore I feare 〈◊〉 what flesh can doe vnto me .

WIth trembling feare sheweth , That a poore Suppliant hath offended the Deitie of thy pious Maiestie , in what not , that s ill , with delectation of affection ; whereby I haue lost the birthright of creation , preseruation , and redemption which my fairest hopes canno● presume thou wilt breake th● whole course of thy iustice , in omitting so many crying sinnes t● escape vnpunished . For that 〈◊〉 must acknowledge with soule heart and conscience , if thou saue● me it is a miracle : and if thou re● fusest , it were but iust iustice ; a●suring my selfe in forbearing thy chastising affection , I shall eue● despaire of thy mercy , and be confident of permanent punishment● for that the pensill of holy Wri● which will not be violated , Heb. 12.5 . Apoc. 3.19 . hath plainely expressed , those whom thou receiuest , thou chastenest , and that their long laughing must be turned into bitter mourning , Ioel. 2.12 . Luk. 6.25 . before they haue any true hope of thy grace , fauour or pardon . O then deare Mediatour ! I beseech thee minister dayly on me thy discipline correction : Pro. 3. Iob 5. and when thou thinkest it meet , let my inward griefe be my ioy , the agony of death my comfort : but if those will not penetrate my flintie nature , to make mee glorifie thy vnspeakeable blessings , and apprehend my base ingratitude ; Grant mee sweet Sauiour a feeling inspiration of torments due vnto the damned , that if then I may not without robbing thy Iustice obtaine by thy Mercie a share in thy sufferings ; Yet I humbly pray thee , let me be a second Diues vpon earth ; for admonishing my poore Christian brethren to preuent the like fall of so fatall a danger , and the rather , for that thou perceiuest offendours bee not so much terrified by thy iudgements pronounced in holy Writ ; as they are mollified at the sight of mortall creatures miseries . Wherein it makes me feare Sathan by thy permission hath a more predominate power , then thou that createst them . All which I leaue to thy diuine Sacred will , and vnsearchable mercie ; begging pardon for my bold presumption , or if thou please to make intercession , Mat. 8.8 . and say Amen to my petition .

O Deare and Immortall God! I thy abiects creature haue so highly offended thy Deitie , Essence , and Glory , in prophaning thy Name , abusing thy Blessings , and slighting thy Sufferings , that I dare claime no priuiledge by thy death , no comfort in thy promises , nor no fauour from thy mercies : but the rigour of punishment , the wrath of iustice , and reward of the damned . O miserie of all miseries what haue I lost ! thy Glory that made mee , thy Sonne that dyed for mee , and thy Spirit that sanctified me . Is there a creature from Adam so wretched ? was there a child conceiued from Euab more miserable ? then I that haue lost the ioyes of heauen , and purchast the fire of hell . O my birth life and death , I am wrapt in sorrow , hauing small hope but in dispairing , no comfort but in grieuing , nor any ioy but in lamenting . O thou false heart and cursed senses , why were yee made to bring my soule in torture , and your selues in torment , to denie them will not auaile you , to expect pardon is vnpossible , to confesse them will hardly mitigate them . O then deare Sauiour , seeing I haue brought my selfe by sinfull presumption , to perma●ent perdition : yet let mee beg at thy hands the agony of indiuiduall sorrow , which thou ordainest for the damned ; that if then the spectacle of my deserued maladie cannot dissolue thy iustice into mercy , yet may mitigate my endlesse misery , and not die like a stupid dog void of sence , knowing thou madest me the image of thy Creature .

MY God , Creatour and Sauiour of the world , was not I made thy image to serue and glorifie none other but thy selfe ? How falles it out ( deare Father ) that I haue beene more contemptible against all thy Lawes , Sap. 5. Statutes and Blessings , Ioh. 3.5 . then a sauage beast ? I cannot beleeue it proceeded from originall sinne , in that thy sacred selfe suffered for sinne ; nor from my conception , Ezek. 33. for that thou desirest my preseruation ; but altogether by Sathans assaulting , the worlds prouoking , natures betraying , and my owne stiffenecked transgression . What reason then can my selfe or mortall man conceiue , that thou wilt saue me , when I neuer truely serued , nor honoured thee ? Art not thou a iust Iudge , Ier. 25. as thou hast beene a mercifull Sauiour ? To plead weaknesse auailes not , wilfulnesse I dare not , nor wanting thy assistance I cannot . Wherefore then doest thou giue mee longer sustentation , when thou knowest I haue deserued damnation ? Fxod . 9.16 . Act. 4.27 . Is it for that thou wilt exceed in thy mercies to increase my miseries ? Or else are not my sinnes fully compleat for thy determined sufferings ? Why , thou knowest Sathan offended thee but once , I haue euer , they both obey and feare thee , I haue neuer . What madnesse then would it be in mee to presume that thou wilt breake the whole course of thy iustice for my sake ? knowing in mine owne conscience I haue lost the benefit of thy redemption by my wilfull presumption : otherwise I might bee confident through vnfained repentance to haue assurance of saluation by thy death and passion : which now grieues the intralles of my soule , in that I was such a cursed reprobate to crucifie thee who sufferedst on the Crosse to saue me : Mar. 10. ●7 . so that according to humane iudgement my talent is eternall torment . Howsoeuer I bequeath the disposure of my deiected soule to thee , Rom. 9.15 . which shedst thy innocent bloud on the behalfe of me . But why should I being so base a creature reason with thee that art my maker , knowing the clay ought not contest with the potter . For it is in thy power and not in mine , to make mee a vessell of honour or dishonour . Therefore in obedience to thy vnsearchable Deity , I will surcease all disputations , and endeuour to preuent worldly perturbations ; that I may haue so much hope to be thy creature , as my beleefe assures mee thou art my Creatour .

MY sacred Creator , and celestiall Father , didst not thou make me of running water and ruddie earth ? Doest thou not see how Sathan assaults me ? how the world insnates me ? and how my owne nature betraies me ? O my God how then canst thou but in pittie take compassion vpon me ? knowing I haue no power to preuent any of these precedent conspiracies , but by thy diuine prouidence . Wilt thou then leaue mee to my selfe , that I might appeare worse miserable than the beast which perisheth ? O be more charitable , for that thou madest mee thy image ; cast but thine eie vpon mee , and turne not thy face from me ; then trie whether thou wilt denie thy mercy vnto mee : were not , sweet Sauiour , my first parents sinners ? Did not thy selfe suffer for sinners ? and protestedst thou desirest not the death of sinners . Shall then the iniquities of my onely offences blot out the remembrance of thy immortal mercies ? When thou art my aduocate , I the offender ; thou my redeemer , I the debtor . Let mee not then perish for want of thy protection , when it is not riches , nor honor , I would haue ; O my Father , no! or releasement of my miseries I seeke ; O my Father , no! or heauen I beg ; O my Father , I dare not presume , no! nor any thing I craue ; but the increase of penitent teares fit for transgressors , and sorrowes due to sinners ; O my Sauiour , no! How then canst thou denie me ? when I sue for no more , but what thy selfe hath assured me ? O my Christ ! are these the eyes that haue displeased thee ; let them receiue no light through thee : is this the heart , which hath dishonoured thee ; let it bleed to death for thee Is this the flesh which hath offended thee ? let fire be her fuell by thee . Are these the bones which haue brought me woe ? let them bee burnt , and borne no more . Or are these the sences which haue sinned against thee ? let them be a liuing sacrifice to thee . O my God , I am rackt with griefe , that I cannot grieue ; and perplext in repentance , that I know not how to repent . For to proceed after the worlds weakenesse , I suspect thou seest their wilfull ignorance . And if I follow thy Gospels professours , I feare thou findst them full of scandall , distraction , and worldly perturbation . What then ( sweet Sauiour ) will become of me forlorne creature , that haue no reliefe ? but sinnes to succour me , Sathan to assist me , and a guilty conscience to comfort mee : without thy sacred sufferings make intercession for me , and accept thy Saints oblations for sinners to thee ; I shall be forced to curse my conception , and wish my mothers wombe , had beene my tombe , to haue formed me a lumpe of flesh without life , or any creature but thy image ; for then had I liued according to creation , and not liable to eternall damnation . Yet , most mercifull and immortall father , should my agonied soule suspect to suffer shipwracke , when thou guidest the sterne ? or despaire and die , when thou art liuing ? or curse her birth when thou art in being ? O my God , rather let her taste the tortures of hell , then be depriued of life , and lose her hopes in the ioyes of heauen , let then Sathan assay his best , and the wicked world her worst , my deiected soule hath set vp her rest in thee that made her to saue her ; Lord I beseech thee to say Amen .

MY God , my refuge , my mercy , how dare I remember thy greatnesse , when the billowes of my crying sinnes haue raisd the wrath of thy Omnipotent person ; who out of meere diuine loue to pious charitie , createdst me after thine owne image , redeemed mee being lost , and in a word gaue mee all I euer had ; yet haue I so much dishonoured the Deitie of thy glory , that I made the pleasures of this life , my Gods on earth , and now they are turn'de my tormenting accusers of Death ; O Sacred Father , bequeath the plagues of Egypt for my talent , rather then this deceitfull world to my portion , which hath not onely bred me disobedient towards thee that made mee , a traitour to thy Sonne that dyed for me ; but sacrific'de my owne soule to be the fuell of hell fire . O deadly life of immortall death , what shall I tearme thee ? the shape of a Christian , which without thy Sacred intercession for thy neuer dying mercies , I shall remaine quickened with the fiend of hell , to future ages for euer . O do not thou sweet Sauiour forget the pittie of thy goodnes , though I haue lost the dutie of my obedience ; but grant the same fauour to me , thou gauest the thiefe vpon the Crosse , looke vpon the teares of my miseries with the passions of thy mercies , and if neither griefes , groanes , sighes , nor sorrowes can appease thy iust wrath : why didst thou make mee ? wherefore was thy death ? whom wilt thou saue ? or art thou another God now , then when thou wert mercifull to the oppressed , a Father of the godlie , and an aduocate for the damned if they repented . O then enrich my soule with a diuine sorrow for my ioy , the agony of death for my comfort , that I may neither presume of thy fauour , nor despaire of thy mercie ; but haue thy great Name glorified , thy Sacred death satisfied , and thy poore forlorne sinner saued , Lord I beseech thee , say Amen .

O Deare and omnipotent God , I heere stand guilty of all the barbarous and inhumane sinnes which Sathan can obiect against the cursedst creature liuing . For I haue presumptuouslie committed more riots and offences , then either Heathen , Pagan , Turke or Infidell , besides treacherouslie made thy name a cloake for my owne villanie . Thus , deare Sauiour , haue I liued a smooth factour for Sathan , to the vtter subuersion and depriuation of eternall felicitie , and purchased the reward of condemnation with endlesse miserie . Breake , O my big swollen heart , lest a thunderbolt from heauen preuent thee . Gush foorth into a flood of teares , thou Crocodile by nature , in being such a cursed reprobate to forget thy maker , a Diuell incarnate for crucifying thy Redeemer . Ah sauage beast , could neither creation , redemption , nor dailie blessings mollifie my flintie heart to honour thee as a father , feare thee as a God , or loue thee as a Sauiour , but must so Iudas-like , sacrifice thy image to the enemie , thy curtesies to crueltie , and thy redemption to my dreadfull destruction . O indignation of the Almightie , fall not vpon mee , though I haue sowed the vngratefull seed of Plutarchs aire for Scorpions to bite my flesh , and snakes to sucke my bloud . Yet , most mercifull Father , should my miserable soule despaire , when thy omnipoten● person died for deiected sinners ? Or can I presume to hope , seeing thou hast punished thy dearest seruants for lesse offences ? Neuer ( O Lord ) in my wretched selfe , but by the vnspeakable death and passion which is able to releeue the sicke , heale the lame , restore the blinde , and helpe the distressed to thee , I submissiue come ; whose sacred wisedome knowes that man is rottennesse , his desires vanitie , and life miserie . Wilt thou therfore shew thy strength against so poore a worme as man , that hath neither creation , preseruation , nor habitation , but by thy diuine prouidence ? O then , dearest Father , remit the execution of thy iustice ; enlarge the liberalitie of thy mercie , and extend thy holie spirit on me thy lost s●ruant , that I may neither curse my birth nor being , thou repent of thy creation or redeeming ; to the end I might liue in thy feare , die in thy fauour , rest in thy peace , rise in thy power , and remaine in thy glorie . Lord I beseech thee say Amen .