THree speciall Motiues , besides the suggestion of the Spirit of God in my owne soule priuately , haue enforced mee to this publique declaring my selfe .

First , because my Acts haue bin committed before the face of Heauen , and in the eye of the World , I cannot thinke , but I am bound in conscience to giue satisfaction to the offended world ; that it may bee as well a witnesse of my serious and most humble repentance , as it hath bin a Spectator of those crimes which haue iustly vpbrayded my condemnation before the Tribunals both of God and Man . Verily , me thinkes , I am like a Leper in the Congregation , whom euery one will shunne , nay , who is bound to say to others ; Come not neere mee , for I am vncleane . Euery eye that looketh on mee is a Dart to wound me with the remembrance of mine owne guiltinesse , euery finger doth or may point at me , as a man forlorne of men . So vncleane , so despicable shall I remayne , till I publish and proclaime my vncleannesse . Surely , there will bee no rest in my bones by reason of my sinne , vntill I haue doubled the confession of my sinne . I owe a dutie of submission , not onely to God himselfe , whose deepest curse I haue deserued , but also to his Church and people , whom I haue grieuously scandalized . Nay , I owe a reparation to my owne lost credit . Hath some deed of mine beene in the fowlest colours blazed to the world in print ? So may , perhaps , my printed Contrition redeeme my reputation from those obloquies it is almost buried in , as well as my neere dead soule hath internally receiued a new life from the mercifull breath of God , inspiring into it all compunction and iust sorrow that may preuent his eternall Iudgement .

Secondly , that since I haue beene deeply branded with shame of the world outwardly , and with the terrors of God , and scourge of conscience inwardly , my example may be a dreadfull thunderclap of warning and affright to all , presuming and perseuering Sinners , whom the hand of God will surely finde out , and deeply wound with the Darts of his vengeance .

Lastly , and chiefly , that by this Discourse of mine , the world may see the power and goodnesse of the Almighty , that hath not forsaken me when I fled from him and my selfe , but hath euen then powred on me the freshest Balme of his mercies , when the wounds of my soule festered and stunke most , giuing mee leaue to surfet on sinne , that I might lothe it ; to dye my hands in bloud , that I might seeke the bloud of Christ to purifie mee ; and to wallow in sensualitie and securitie , that my true repentance at last might lodge me safe in the repose of a quiet conscience . Let it not therefore seeme tedious to thee , charitable and compassionate Reader , to suruey my Anatomy thus by my selfe disected , of which I will not leaue one small veine or sinew vndiscouered ; but from my first , to this day , truly and ingeniously without extenuating partialitie , lest so I should seeme to cherish , not abandon mine owne corruption ; I will relate how miserable I haue made my selfe in what I haue beene , how much recollected and reuiued I am , in what I now am ; and how happy I hope to bee , in what I resolue to perseuer in , till the consummation of my wretched life .

First , my youth and morning of my dayes was clouded with a stubborne and head-strong disobedience to my Parents , the first and worst note of a desperate and obstinate sinner ; to whom I so much forgot my owne dutie , that all their indulgence to mee , I valued as their duties ; their Councels were diseases to my courses , their Monitions were irksome to my eares , because enemies of my ryots , and their gentle chastizements the Contradictors of my lasciuiousnes ; so that euen then before I knew what it was to bee , I had made my selfe nothing , and which is worse vnsensible of any thing ; their cares still followed mee , and still my stubbornesse fled from them , to heape the hotter coales vpon my head . Little did I regard that which most behooued me to learne and practise : The feare of the Lord is the beginning of Wisedome , Prou. 1. 7 , 8 , 9. but Fooles despise instruction . My sonne heare the instruction of thy Father , and forsake not the Law of thy Mother : For they shall bee an ornament vnto thy head and chaines about thy necke .

Vpon this foundation of my disobedience , the Deuill began to build a Mansion for himselfe to inhabite , and so grew my soule a Cage of vncleane Birds , wherein many foule sinnes were bred , and grew to such strength , that I was mastered by them : One Impietie begat another , yet still I thought my selfe not sufficiently flesht in wickednesse , till I defaced the Image of God , first in my owne soule , by hatred and reuengefull malice ; then in anothers body , by homicide . O frightfull remembrance ! O the deep sting , O the dismall sound of this crying sinne ! Wretched man that I am . Was it not hainous enough for mee to kill a man , but I must by my fury bee put on such a one , whose Coat and qualitie added many degrees to the foulenesse of the Murther ; a Minister of Gods Word , mine owne Pastor and Watchman of my soule , Master William Storr , Master in Arts , who being a zealous detester of my lewd courses , and both in priuate and publike vsing sharpe reprehensions to me and of mee , did thereby kindle in mee an hatred , not of mine owne lewdnesse , but of his person ? I might perhaps by way of extenuation say , that had he vsed greater words and milder reprehensions to me , he might by Gods blessing haue plucked me out of the snare of Satan , and so had preuented this shortning his owne dayes by my hand . I might say that my distemper was enraged by his vnseasonable corrosiues , which might perhaps haue beene allayed and cured by gentle Balmes . But I vtterly disauow all abating any part of my crime : I stand forth here to accuse , to arraigne , and to condemne my selfe , not to vse defences or mitigations , much lesse like to our first parents to put off my fault , and lay it vpon others : Nay , I dare not so much as catch at Fig-leaues to couer my owne shame . I proclayme my worst deformities , that others seeing them and hating them , may now pitty my person ▪ and comfort my soule .

Being thus enraged against him , and resoluing to execute some notable reuenge vpon him ; I did not ( as the Searcher of all hearts witnesseth with me ) intend more to him then some slight wounding , as the manner I tooke him in may in some sort witnesse : the place being publike in the sight of many , my selfe vnreadie , and vnprouided for my owne safetie by flight , which I should haue ordered my coursefor , had my intent beene murtherous .

But here it pleased God in his iust iudgement , for my hardnesse of heart and contempt of his Word and Commandements , to giue ouer my hand to wound deeper then my heart intended . Woe is mee , my heart bleedeth to thinke , how deepe my Sword pierced . The enemy of Mankinde was a Murtherer from the beginning , he gat such dominion ouer me , that he made my Sword and hand his Seruants , and so made me like vnto himselfe , a bloudy Man-slayer . So must I needes acknowledge my selfe , because my heart , though not before so intending , yet as principall is guiltie of that which my hand did in the heate of fury . True it is , and alas , woe is mee for it , I gaue him diuers wounds , whereof within eight dayes hee dyed , yeelding vp that soule which iustly craued for vengeance vpon me for disseuering it from the bodie . This done , I retyred and saued my selfe by flight withall conueniencie I could , & with a resolution to recouer Scotland , after many dangerous escapes I attayned to Barwicke ; where I was for the fact apprehended ; and from thence ( though it were a Garrison obserued with all strictnesse ) I made a strange escape , and thence ouer-land I went towards Plimmouth , in which passage , though I auoyded all the way-layings to preuent me , at Warwicke I was questioned in susspition of a Robbery , but for that my innocence could not be frighted , though still the guilt of the other fact pursued mee , but neyther so retyred or safe was I , that my being freed from the hand of Iustice , could either free my bodie from Gods Iudgement , or my minde from fearing it , carrying euer with mee a distressed conscience , that like a troubed Sea tossed me to and fro , yet neuer so left by Gods mercy , that I had not euer a true and sensible feeling of what I had done , though my distractions directed mee not a course which way to redeeme my selfe ; the horrour of my fact and despaire fighting against mee on the one side , my viewing and considering of Gods mercies opposing that on the other , till thus in the following dangers and calamities of my life , which after I shall shew , God hath by threatning me with vnheard dangers , alwayes following mee , and yet neuer hurting , as if his Prouidence would not leaue one houre of mine to such securitie , as might make me presume that he had forgotten to punish me , longer then I remembred to be mindfull of my sinnes , and renew my Repentance for them .

My selfe , with my load of sinne and guiltinesse , being thus then from Dartmouth , shipt in a Vessell bound for Saint Malo●s in France , Almightie God knowing the corruption of my nature , lest I should forget his power and my selfe , in this seeming safetie of myne , commanded the Winds and Seas to warre against our poore Barke , which prouoked a more fearfull tempest within me , then could bee threatned without , though wee spent our mayne Mast by the board ; for then I began to remember that excellent saying of the Psalmist , Whither shall I goe from thy spirit ? Psal. 139. 7 , ● . or whither shall I flye from thy presence ? Let me take the wings of the morning , and dwell in the vttermost parts of the Sea ▪ yet thither shall thine hand leade me , and thy right hand hold me , &c.

Then much more then before , my conscience wak'd my sleeping soule , and the wounds I had made were bleeding before mee ; in this danger God vouchsafed vs his mercy , and set vs safe on shore in the I le of Garnsey ; there should I againe haue beene examined ( as vsually Passengers are ) to giue account what I was , and whither I would , and so in likelihood should haue bin discouered . But this I shifted off by getting into a small Boate : and so vnknowne , I passed from Garnsey into France , to the Roades , and so to Roane , where I liued about sixe monethes ; being at length exposed to as much miserie , as perplexitie could lay on a friendlesse Stranger in an vnknowne Land . These sufferings still brought me home to my selfe , and neerer to God , in the true acknowledgement of my vild fact ; and his mercy in the extremest wracke of my want ; see the Prouidence of God my still Preseruer . Three ships of the States came to Calice to receiue mony , lent by the States to the French King ; with whom like a restlesse man , being at that present releeued with mony by my Father , I shipt my selfe , and from Rotterdam I came to Delphe , where Sir Francis Vere entertayned me a Gentleman of his Company ; during my aboad in that seruice , I receiued continuall sollicitings for my amendment , repentance , and comfort from one Master Trigg of Longledenham in Lincolnshire a godly Preacher , whose daily Letters quickened and seconded that good worke the Lord had already begun in me . My Father had by this time , being the yeare 1603. procured my Pardon , and sent for me home , for which I was no sooner shipt ; but still obserue how God followed me with mercy , and threatning iudgement ; lest my pardon from my Prince , should make mee carelesse of his better forgiuenesse , and negligent in the begging it . The Seas must againe swell as angry to beare my sinnes , and as if all these dangers of Rockes and Seas had bin to little , our Tempest beaten Vessell must bee chased by a Dunkarker Man of Warre , so that their was no hope left to saue vs from these dangers , but his Omnipotent hand , which safely from all these deliuered mee once againe on English ground .

Scarce was I entertayned at home , but least still I should nestle my selfe in a secure slumber , another affliction arose to endanger mee . The wife of the slaine sueth an Appeale against me , notwithstanding my Pardon , against which her Plea , by reason of some error in the forme of it , I obtayned a defence or defeate , called , Ne recipiatur : yet after this was , my Pardon questioned at the Bench of Assise for about fiue yeares together , the Iudges of that Circuit still binding me ouer , and refusing to giue allowance to it : Which I acknowledge ( though it were Summum lus against mee ) yet that it was very honourably and Iudge-like done of them , in so notorious a Crime as mine . As also his Maiestie himselfe , by whose extraordinary grace I enioy my breath , was in point of Iustice very willing that some defect , if possible , might haue beene found in my pardon , and so should I haue vndergone the iust stroke of the Law : which not only others , but euen my selfe wondered how I could escape . Thus the terrours of deserued death were still knocking at the doores of my eares and heart .

In all which troubled time , new prouocations were daily offered me , whereby I was in danger to draw more bloud vpon me , or make my selfe vncapable of my pardon ; all which things God suffered mee to be temped with , but not to fall into , in the meane while , my Father was taken away from my troubles , and out of this World , I resolued to haue gone againe out of this Land ; in which time I hoped with my earnest Repentance , to obtayne forgiuenesse from my God , and a new acceptance at my returne into the bosome of my offended Countrey : but the Appeale beeing crossed , and finding my Pardon firme , I altered that determination , and prayed to God to blesse me with a Wife , with whom I might in an honest life weare out my dayes , and retyre my selfe to God and the setling of my conscience . To this end I solicited a Gentlewoman , in which suite of mine , many dangers layed siege to me , and by the most meanes that euer man did ; I scaped the depriuing of my life , by foure men which assaulted mee with Halberts , and grieuously wounded me ; running mee thorow the body , and giuing mee grieuous wounds .

How iust , O Lord , had it beene that I , by whose hand the life of a man was spilt , should haue beene made a due Sacrifice though not to Iustice , which if I escaped , vet to reuenge , which I deserued : Yet though left for dead by this assault , it pleased God to preserue my life : I hope to my further repentance , and his better seruice .

This done , my Pardon yet wanted allowance by Sir Peter Warberton , who enforced me publikely to submit my selfe to the Church , and so in the Conuocation house before my Lords Grace of Canterburie , and the rest of the Reuerend Bishops and Cleargie in the Parliament time ; I did acknowledge my fault , and gaue testimonie of my Contrition and Repentance , and made a true profession of my Religion ; and then the said worthy Iudge and Iudge Wamsley , gaue allowance to my Pardon .

Thus freed from the externall punishment of the Law , and my minde thereby the better setled for my inward content ; I bestowed my selfe in Marriage , in which God gaue mee the blessing of a Father in my Posterity , and thus retyred my ciuill life , woue mee againe into the opinion of my Countrey , and conuersation of the Ministerie , from which , before my Fact had iustly excommunicated me ; Master Doctor Hooke , now Archdeacon of Yorke , then entertayning me a Soiourner in his house , with my Wife and Family ; he and other Ministers of those parts affording me their conference , comforts and societie . Yet lest my past troubles and vexations of bodie and minde , should foolishly make mee hope ; that I had made an ample satisfaction to God and the World , the Omnipotent Power had destined a new tryall for me ; and in the midst of my seeming peace , I must be exposed to a Warre almost as fearefull as the first , as if by doing new mischiefes , I should only bee made capable of satisfying for the olde , or by losing my selfe againe , I should thus bee found the second time my first Repentance insufficiently perfected .

My occasions drawing me to Grantham , vnhappily , I encountred with one Master Riggs , a man vrged by his owne rashnesse ( as I conceiue it ) to seeke his owne fall by my hand , that I being made the lucklesse instrument of his death , might then truely see that God was not at attonement with my soule for the first , when he permitted me to be a Destroyer of a second : vnmoued by any occasion of mine , grosly , and strangely , three or foure seuerall times he heaped iniuries vpon me , beyond the temper of any humane sufferance , vnlesse , in those with whom the Spirit of God had more residence then yet it had with mee , nor satisfied with this but he must needs pursue me , though auoiding him and in my way home assaulted me with his Sword , of whom I receiued hurts ; but in conclusion , by me hee fell ; his wound being drest , the Surgeons warranted life , but the worke of the Lord is beyond the imagination of likelihood , or the fraile apprehension of weake man : It was otherwise for my greater punishment determined by him : but on the assurance of his Dressers ; I was bayled , and when the newes of his death came vnlookt for , I was perswaded to flye , which for these two causes I vtterly refused . First , and principally , I knew & had before tryed that I could not flye from the wrath of God , though I were couered with Mountaines , or hid in the Caues of the Earth ; and therefore rather desired ( if so it pleased him to accept of my poore life as a Sacrifice for the bloud I had spilt ) willingly , and patiently to lay my selfe on the blocke of death . Secondly , my Wife and innocent Children , must needs haue beene by my flight exposed to all ill sufferings for my guilt ; my Wife widdowed and comfortlesse ; my Children Fatherlesse and destitute , and my estate which my stay might saue for them thus confiscated . For these causes , was I apprehended , and in a moment rauisht from all I delighted in , hauing nothing left to feed on but my Despayre , had not God sent mee inward comfort , no companion , but miserable and afflicted thoughts , no house to dwell in but a Prison and no Comforter ; ( I mean outward ) but Iobes , the skorne and reproch of all my Frinds , and Acquaintance . In this miserable Exigent , I arraigned my soule , which still had nothing to pleade , but guiltie , a hopelesse Plea ; so that had not my still preseruing God , who though I forsooke him , neuer yet forsooke mee , sent mee infinite comforts and assurances by two daily visiting godly Ministers , Master Buddle , and Master Atkinson , I should there I feare , haue proued my owne Executioner , and haue dyed despayring . By their good meanes , I beganne with a liuely faith to lay hold on the merits of Christ , and rest my wearie , sicke and staggering soule vpon his Crosse .

Master Buddle neuer leauing mee , the time of Imprisonment and Irons . For which the Lord giue to him , and all my iust and mercifull Friends , mercie to his and their houses , as Paul prayed for Onesiphorus who was not ashamed of my chaines , and neuer left mee till he had remoued from mee a desperate opinion I was falling into , that God hated mee from the beginning , euery thing beeing so crosse to mee from my birth , in which hee satisfied mee , that it was for sinne : and that God hated none but for sinne , of which , if I repented , and truely turned to God , I should finde God his fauour towards me , and that these afflictions would be good for me .

New troubles yet ( behold ) assayled me , and now the Lord began to visit me euery way as in my selfe , so in what was neerest and dearest vnto mee , my only Child for whose meanes of liuing , I had exposed my selfe to the stroke of death , was touched by the angrie hand of God ( hopelesse of recouerie ) his wretched Mother weeping , the Bell tolling , his Graue prepared , and which was a doubler of my torment , my selfe like a condemned Gally Slaue , led in Irons to see his departure . The grieuousnesse of this spectacle strooke a sudden amazement into me , and then I beganne earnestly , and faithfully to beseech God not to lay my sinnes on the head of my innocent Child , but to turne his mercifull face towards him , howsoeuer his diuine Iustice intended to dispose of me ; My gracious God heard me , and past and beyond all earthly hope and meane ; in an instant restored him to health .

Now the time of my tryall for Master Riggs came , where though my Iudge was seuere in respect of my past life ; and not trusting the vnder-Sherife , did himselfe choose out a Iury of men of the better fashion to iudge vpon mee without partiality , yet vpon the Euidence of my auoyding him , I was not found guiltie of Murther , charged vpon me in the Indictment , but of an inferiour degree . At which time being adiudged without bayle to suffer a yeares imprisonment , I felt againe the hand of God vpon mee by visiting my said Sonne in a strange manner , that all men might take this for a terrible note of his Iudgement , and rather then accidentall or naturall disease , hee was crippled and taken lame in all his limbes , and deformed in all proportion , as if the Lord had in him figured the lamenesse and deformitie of his Fathers soule . About 4. yeares this continued on him & then God in his good time restored him to perfect health and abilitie of bodie , leauing mee this vse of all his Iudgements which haue threatned mee and mine , that like an Indulgent Father ●e hath still shaken the Rod ouer mee , but not layed it on me ; that I might feare to offend him because I see his power ; and loue and seeke him because I taste his mercies .

My freedome at the yeares end , purchased I had not , yet in all these sufferings buried the old man so much in me , as that there remayned not to much of him in my corruption , ( notwithstanding all these extreames ) most of my Estate I sold to satisfie such engagements as my troubles had pawned me in , the surplus of which , I dedicated not ( I confesse ) that pious way I ought either in setling my then vnsetled selfe in any honest Calling , or conuerting my left stock to good imployment , but borrowing too much libertie from Gods mercie , I gaue my selfe to my Pleasures , which I called lawfull Recreations , though in themselues not vnlawfull , being moderately vsed , yet surely very much vnbeseeming such a Penitent as I was , or ought to haue beene ; and as if this had bin nothing , I went farre further ; and put my money out to Vsury ; for which , my Curse was to be vtterly cheated of the most of it , because God in his infinite goodnesse saw , that whilst I had any thing left to feed my vanities withall , I could not be made wholy and fully his .

Thus hauing disposed my selfe of all wayes and power to liue and maintayne my Family heere , I began to lay this to my selfe , that God had deseruedly and iustly taken from mee all that I was Master of , and to prayse him for so gentle a chastizement , and that now it lay vpon mee by inuocating his blessing , and endeuouring my selfe in any course ( how difficult soeuer ) to leaue something by my labours purchast for my Wife and Children , since my sinnes had made them destitute , neuer despayring , but that it might please God to preserue mee , and fully to prouide for me ; to this intent I was an earnest Suitor about the Court , to some Acquaintance of my wiues ; only for imployment , forreigne or domesticall , such as their discretions should Iudge mee fit for ▪ In this Court-hope , I languisht long , till my necessities strained my patience , euery course failing mee , on which I built . At last no way was left mee , but to ship my selfe for Argeares in the last Fleete ; depending still on the mercy of God , and resoluing to serue faithfully and resolutely in all such actions my Commander should impose on me .

In a Ship called the Vaunt-gard , Vice-Admirall of the Fleete , I was appointed by the Generall to the Commaund of Sir Richard Hawkins , a Gentleman , from whom I receiued noble respect , and worthy fauours ; yet God that would not yet possesse me of any certaine quiet either in Friends or Fortunes , though my resolution were fixt to all Conformitie , and my desires wholly dedicated to the redeeming my lost Credit with some good Action , still exagitated my Companions with secret heart-burnings against mee , and for the Lord was angry with me , to whom could I be acceptable ; he being at warre with me , from whence should I expect peace , these my enemies , by daily prouokings on purpose to tempt me so farre that my fury might forfeit my life , and make me forget my selfe and God : that had not my wise Captaine preuented it , by giuing mee leaue to depart home , I am afraid , I had confiscated my life to Marshall Law , and heapt more bloud vpon my sinne-drenched Soule . Thus was I depriued of all the comforts I resolued of , and forced thus to returne home , rather as it may be thought with an addition of shame , then Garland of Honour ; for God knew how good soeuer to my selfe this course seemed , it was not fit for me , neither was the time of my peace yet come .

In a Ship called the Marigold of London , I was by my Captaine prouided for to come home , when in the very Roade of Malaga , in the face of the Fleet , and beginning of our Voyage wee had like to haue perished , had not the Lord againe extended his mercie . Two other English Ships hoysing sayle with vs , our Ship was foule of another Ship which lay at Anchor in the Roade , and when she should haue looffed , shee fell the contrary way , as seeming vnwilling to venter her selfe at Sea with so heauy a burthen as I was charged with ; the Sea was exceeding high , nor could the ship worke , being euer foule of one Ship or another , and in spight of all art and labour could be by the Mariners imployed shee would to shoare , as if she desired to spew me out of her sicke bowels ; and had she not in midst of all these dangers by the letting fall of an Anchor beene stopped , shee had ineuitably split vpon a Rocke that was then menacing her . Away were our Companions gone to Sea , and we thus left , then began I to feare , least the Sea-men should lay all this mis-aduenture on me , and prayed feruently that the Lord would not that way punish me , but for his mercie sake deliuer vs . With much labour and more feare , at length we put to Sea , where we had not long beene , but on this side the Straites of Gibiralter , when we were almost past feare ; still the Iudgement of God pursued me , lest I should forget : Fiue Turkes men of Warre bore vp with vs ; and like the feare of these , the Sea had none ; to resist we were vnable , though wee addressed our selues for fight , and to be taken Slaues to Infidels and Vassals , to the common enemies of Christ , oh what can crueltie more deuise to punish with ; or the trembling heart of deiected man more feare to suffer vnder ! Yet from this gaping mischiefe the Lord prouided an vnexpected deliuerie , for those which are by nature the deuourers of men , prooued our Deliuerers . Two Lions we had aboard vs , which they knew sent from Argears a Present to our King , for which cause in all likelihood they left vs without spoyling , that present intimating a League of Amitie betwixt our Nation and their Towne ; this I applyed to my soule , and confest the wonderfull Workes of God .

Parted thus from the Turkes , all the rest of our time at Sea till we made Land , was for the most part frighted with all the hideous feares that salt Region is full of , so that I suspected my selfe still , and applyed all to mine owne heart , as well the dangers as deliuerances ; assuring my selfe , that such iudgements could follownone but mee , and such redemptions none but such the Lord had reserued for some good Worke .

At Deale I landed , and in my way to Chatham , as I was hastily comming out of the hyred Coach which I came in ; my Sword suddenly fell out with the point vp , nor could I stop my selfe : but violently with all my weight I fell vpon it ; yet the Lord turned the harme from mee , and betwixt my arme and bodie it slided : of which escape , then and now I make this vse ; that though I had scaped the threatnings of the Seas , the furie of the Turkes ; my selfe had that about mee the Lord could destroy me with , in my greatest securitie , which had I perisht in , would haue prooued the fearefullest of all that euer threatned . That I by whose vnhappy Sword , two before had fallen , should now after the Law was appeased , and all my recited dangers scaped , be exposed to an exemplary and wretched end vpon my owne Weapon , for in the vnlikeliest meanes , more horror still aggrauates the iudgement .

THus my Life hath beene an heauie burthen to mee , continually pressing mee downe . And although in my youth , I was truely taught the true and sound Religion , how to feare , honour and serue God ; in so much that I durst not presume to runne wilfully into sin , or to liue and continue in sinne without Repentance : Yet so farre at length the subtilties of Satan , the allurements and pleasures of the World , mine owne naturall frailties , and my want of Temperance and Iudgement preuailed and ouer-mastered mee ; that I presumed of the name of Faith , and of Gods Mercies towards me , and gloried in mine owne estate and condition while I compared my selfe with some others , whom I perceiued so much to neglect God , as that they only vsed Policie , and made Religion onely a Cloake ; and I blinde and miserable wretch so presumptuously thrust my selfe on Gods mercies , without regard to Gods Lawes .

So from hence haue proceeded all other euils and mischiefes which haue befallen me . Hence it is that I haue so fearefully fallen , and so grieuously and haynously sinned against God , committing these outragious sinnes which I would not haue committed for the sauing of my life , and for the expiating and ransoming of which , after that I had acted and committed them , I would willingly haue giuen my life , if it could haue beene accepted for a satisfaction . And God , for these my sinnes , giuing me ouer ; I wasted my Estate by Suites , not abating myne expences as my Estate wasted : whereby I see plainly that Gods heauie and dreadfull hand hath haunted and pursued me not only for my cruell and bloudy sinne committed vpon Master Storr , but also for my other sinnes and transgressions which I haue committed , sometimes presuming too much , and sometimes despayring of Gods mercie . So that now being as it were , brought to the stake , and as a miserable distressed man put vpon the Racke ; I am inwardly forced to make confession of my sinnes , open profession of my desires , purposes and resolutions , and giue account of my Religion before Almightie God and the World .

I doe see and obserue Gods fearefull Iudgements vpon all notorious Sinners from Adam vntill this present Age , not onely testified and recorded in the holy Scriptures and in prophane Histories , as for example vpon Cain , Saul , Achitophel , Iudas , Herod , and cruell Nero , and such like ; but euen also daily executed before our eyes , as vpon Varney , Dansecar , Percie , Catesby , Wright , and all such Murtherers , Traytors , Pirats , Theeues , and vniust persons .

Sir Francis Varney an Englishman borne , and liuing here in Sensualitie vntill he had spent his Estate , went to Sea , and became Pirate . And falling in at Argears , and there for some small time remayning , hee fell in loue with a Whore or Prostitute , but shee being subtile , would not incline to him without marriage ; nor marrie vnlesse he would forsake his profession of Christ and turne Turke . Hee inraged with Lust after this Whore ( became Turke ) and presently marryed her , which hee no sooner had done , but a Dogge , which Dogge before wayted on him and loued him ; assaulted and fell vpon him suddenly , most Lion or Tygre-like , as though hee would instantly haue deuoured him : but being rescued , yet the Dogge in that rage tore the Calues of his legges . And yet a further iudgement fell vpon this Varney , for ( albeit the Turkes for some small time , gaue him command and office ) in the end they cashiered him , and being taken by the Spaniard , iudged him to the Gallies , where he wrought as a Slaue , vntill he dyed most miserably .

Danseker a Dutchman being a Pirate at Argears , though he turned not Turke , yet hee was as it is reported , murdered by them of Argears priuately .

An Heathenish Pagan , Infidell , or Atheist , I am not : Neither am I of the Romish Religion , though ( I confesse ) there are many carnall reasons which do perswade me to imbrace and put in practice some of their Opinions and Doctrines , as praying to Saints ; because I hold my selfe vnworthy to pray to God Almightie , Purgatory that I might haue an end of torment , and not remayne vnder eternall wrath and Vengeance in Hell : Merit or satisfaction by Fryerly austeritie .

For such as I whose conscience is burthened , are held fit to be new moulded and tutored in their Monasteries , and set vpon strange and hideous Exploits , for redemption of themselues , and good of that Church . Besides , I haue had many fauors & courtesies from some noble and zealous persons of that Religion , the losse of which I doe willingly sustaine for this mine open profession . Yea , being by Gods heauie iudgements plunged into the depth of extremities , I haue beene beholding to some of the learned among them , and can now , if my conscience would suffer me , be entertayned among them , either into their Cloysters , or for the Warres ; and be esteemed and sufficiently relieued with necessaries : whereas I am now neglected by mine owne Nation , who all seeme to verifie in me that saying of DAVID , God hath forsaken him , pursue and take him . And though all this be come vpon mee , yet , I professe , I doe not encline to beleeue the Romish Doctrines of the Masse , Transubstantiation , Merit , Iustification by Workes , and such like . I acknowledge that all the glorie of our saluation is due to God , who worketh all in all . And to our Lord Iesus Christ we owe all the thankes , who by his owne sufferings , and with his most precious bloud hath satisfied the Law , pacified Gods wrath , payd our debt and ransome , and cancelled the bond .