The Ball

THE BALL .

Actus Primus . Enter Sr. Marmaduke Travers , and Mr. Bostocke . Bos.

WHether so fast Sr. Marmaduke , a word .

Mar. My honorable blood ? wod I could stay To give thee twentie , I am now engag'd To meete a noble Gentleman . Bos. Or rather A Gentlewoman , let her alone , and goe With me . Ma.

Whether .

Bo.

I le shew thee a Lady of fire .

Ma.

A Lady of the Lake were not so dangerous .

Bo. I meane a spirit in few words , because I love thee , I le be open . I am going To see my Mistresse . Ma. I le dispence with my Occasion to see a hansome Lady , I know you 'le chuse a rare one . Bo. She is a creature Worth admiration , such a beauty , wit , And an estate besides , thou canst not chuse But know her name , the Lady Lucina . Ma.

Is she your Mistresse ?

Bo. Mine , whose but mine ? Am I not nobly borne , does not my blood Deserve her ? Ma. To tell you truth , I was now going thither , Though I pretended an excuse , and with A Complement from one that is your rivall . Bo.

Does she love any body else ?

Ma. I know not , But shee has halfe a score upon my knowledge Are sutors for her favour . Bo. Name but one , And if he cannot shew as many coates . Ma. He thinkes he has good cards for her , and likes His game well . Bo. Be an understanding Knight , And take my meaning , if he cannot shew As much in Heraldry . Ma. I doe not know how rich he is in fields , But he is a gentleman . Bo. Is he a branch of the Nobilitie , How many Lords can he call cozen ? else He must be taught to know he has presum'd To stand in competition with me . Ma.

You wonot kill him .

Bo. You shall pardon me , I have that within me must not be provok'd , There be some living now that ha beene kill'd For lesser matters . Ma.

Some living that ha beene kill'd !

Bo. I meane some living that ha seene examples , Not to confront Nobilitie , and I Am sensible of my honour . Ma. His name is Sr. Ambrose . Bo. Lamount a Knight of yesterday , And he shall die to morrow , name another . Ma.

Not so fast Sir . you must take some breath .

Bo. I care no more for killing halfe a dozen Knights of the lower house , I meane that are not Descended from Nobilitie , then I doe To kicke any footeman , and Sr. Ambrose were Knight of the Sunne , King Oberon should not save him , Nor his Queene Mab . Enter Sr. Ambrose Lamount . Ma.

Vnluckily hee s her'e sir .

Bo. Sr. Ambrose How does thy Knighthood ? ha . Am.

My Nimph of honour well , I joy to see thee .

Bo. Sr. Marmaduke tells me thou art sutor to Lady Lucina . Am. I have ambition To be her servant . Bos. Hast , thar' t a brave Knight , and I commend Thy judgement . Am.

Sr Marmaduke himselfe leanes that way too .

Bo. Why didst conceale it , come , the more the merrier , But I could never see you there . Ma. I hope Sir we may live . Bo. I le tell you Gentlemen , Cupid has given us all one Livery , I serve that Lady too , you understand me , But who shall carry her , the fates determine , I could be knighted too . Am. That would be no addition to Your blood . Bo. I thinke it would not , so my Lord told me , Thou know'st my Lord , not the Earle , my tother Cozen , there s a sparke his predecessors Have match'd into the blood , you understand He put me upon this Lady , I proclaime No hopes , pray le ts together Gentlemen ; If she be wise , I say no more , shee shanot Cost me a sigh , nor shall her love engage me To draw a sword , I ha vow'd that . Ma.

You did but jest before .

Am. T were pitty that one drop Of your Heroicke blood should fall to th' ground , Who knowes but all your cozen Lords may die . Ma.

As I beleeve them not immortall sir .

Am. Then you are gulfe of honour swallow all , May marry some Queene your selfe , and get Princes To furnish the barren parts of Christendome . Enter a servant Solomon . Sol. Sir Marmaduke in private ? my Lady wod Speake with you . Am. T is her servant , what s the matter ? Bo.

I hope he is not sent for .

Sol. But come alone , I shall be troubled With their inquiries , but I le answer 'em . Am.

Solomon ?

Sol.

My Lady would speake with you sir .

Am.

Mee ?

Sol.

Not too loude , I was troubled with Sr. Marmaduke .

Mar.

This is good newes .

Bo.

I doe not like this whispering ,

Sol.

Forget not the time , and to come alone .

Am.

This is excellent .

Bo.

Solomon , dost not know me ?

Sol. My businesse is to you sir , these Kept me off , my Lady Lucina Has a great minde to speake with you , Little doe these imagine how she honours me . Bo. If I faile , may the Surgeon When he opens the next veine , let out all my honorable blood , There 's for thy paines , what thou shalt be hereafter Time shall declare , but this must be conceal'd . Exit . Am.

You looke pleasant .

Ma.

No , no I have no cause , you smile Sr. Ambrose .

Am.

Who I ? the Coronell .

Enter the Coronell . Ma.

But of our file , another of her suitors .

Am.

Noble Coronell .

Co.

My honored Knights , and men of lustie kindred .

Bo.

Good morrow .

Co. Morrow to all Gentlemen , I le tell you Who is return'd ? Am.

From whence .

Co.

A friend of ours that went to travell .

Ma.

Who , who ?

Co. I saw him within these three minuts , and know not how I Lost him agen , he 's not farre off , d ee keepe a Catalogue Of your debts . Bo.

What debts ?

Co. Such dulnesse in your memory , there was About sixe moneths ago a Gentleman That was perswaded to sell all his land , And to put the money out most wisely , To have for one at his returne from Venice , The shotten Herring , is hard by . Am.

Iacke Freshwater , I le not see him yet .

Bo.

Must we pay him ?

Co. It will be for your honour , marry wee Without much staine , may happily compound , And pay him nothing . Enter Freshwater , and Mounsieur Le Friske . Here comes the thing With what formalitie he treades , and talkes , And manageth a toothpicke like a Statesman . Am.

How hee 's transform'd ?

Ma.

Is not his soule Italian ?

Bo.

I le not bid him welcome home .

Am.

Nor I .

Ma.

What s the tother Rat that s with him ?

Co.

D ee not know him , t is the Court dancing Weesill .

Ma.

A Dancer , and so gay .

Co. A meere French footeman Sir , does he not looke Like a thing come off o th' Saltsellar . Ma. A Dancer ? I would allow him gay about the legges , But why his body should exceede decorum , Is a sinne o th' state . Fre. That s all . I can informe you of their dance in Italy , Marry that very morning I left Venice , I had intelligence of a new device . Mon.

For the dance Mounsieur .

Fre. Si Signior , I know not What countryman invented , but they say There be Chopinoes made with such rare art , That worne by a Lady when she meanes to dance , Shall with their very motion sound forth musicke , And by a secret sympathy with their tread Strike any tune that without other instrument , Their feete both dance and play . Mon. Your lodging Mounsieur , That when I have leasure I may dare Present an humble servitor . Fre. I do ly At the signe of Dona Margaretta de Pia In the Strand . Gud.

At the Magget a Pie in the Strand sir .

Mon.

At de Magdepie boon adieu serviteur . Exit .

Am.

He wonot know us .

Gud.

D ee see those Gentlemen .

Fre.

Thou Platalone be silent .

Co. I le speake to him , Y are welcome home sir . Fre.

Signior . Exit .

Co. He wonot know me , this is excellent , He shall be acquainted better , ere I part With any sommes . Am.

Next time wee le not know him .

Bo.

Would all my creditors had this blessed ignorance .

Ma.

Now Coronell I 'le take my leave .

Bo.

I am enga'd too . Exeunt .

Co.

Well .

Bo. I shall meete you anon , I am to waite upon a cosin of mine . Co.

A Countesse .

Bo.

My Lord ? Enter Lord Rainebow and Barker .

Lor.

Cosin .

Bo.

Your Lordship honours me in this acknowledgement .

Lo.

Coronell .

Bo.

D ee not know me sir ?

Ba. Y are not a proclamation that every man is bound to take notice on , And I cannot tell who you are by instinct . Lo.

A kinsman of mine Franke ?

Co.

Good morrow to your Lordship .

Lo.

Coronell ? your humble servant , harke you Franke .

Bo. You are acquainted with my Lord then , Is he not a compleate Gentleman ? his family Came in with the Conqueror . Co.

You had not else beene kinne to him .

Bo.

A poore slip , a syens from that honourable tree .

Co. He is the Ladies Idoll , they ha not leasure To say their prayers for him , a great advancer Of the new Ball . Bo.

Nay hee 's right , right as my legge Coronell .

Co.

But tother Gentleman you doe not know his inside .

Bo.

I ha seene him , he lookes philosophicall .

Co. Who ! hee 's the wit , whom your Nobilitie Are much oblig'd to for his company , He has a railing genious , and they cherish it , Fling dirt in every face when hee 's i th' humour , And they must laugh , and thanke him , he is dead else . Bo.

Will the Lords suffer him .

Co. Or lose their mirth , hee 's knowne in every science , And can abuse em all , some ha suppos'd He has a worme in s braine , which at some time O th' Moone doth ravish him into perfect madnesse , And then he prophesies , and will depose The Emperor , and set up Bethalem Gabre . Bo.

Hee 's dead , I hope he wonot conjure for him .

Co. His father shanot scape him nor his ghost , Nor heaven , nor hell , his jest must ha free passage , Hee 's gone , and I lose time to talke on him , Farewell , Your Countesse May expect too long , Farewell Coronell . Exeunt . Enter Lady Rosomond , and Lady Honoria . Ros.

Why doe you so commend him ?

Hon. Does he not Deserve it ? name a gentleman in the Kingdome , So affable , so moving in his language , So pleasant , witty , indeede every thing A Lady can desire . Ros. Sure thou dost love him , I le tell his Lordshippe when I see him agen , How zealous you are in his commendation . Hon. If I be not mistaken , I have heard Your tongue reach higher in his praises Madam , How ere you now seeme cold , but if you tell him My opinion , as you shall doe him no pleasure , You can doe me no injury , I know His Lordship has the constitution Of other Courtiers , they can endure To be commended . Ros. But I prethee tell me , Is not love whence this proceeds , I have I must confesse discourst of his good parts , Desir'd his company . Ho.

And had it ?

Ros.

Yes , and had it .

Ho.

All night .

Ros. You are not I hope jealous , If I should say all night I neede not blush , It was but at a Ball , but what of this ? Ho.

Ene what you will

Ros. I hope you ha no patent To dance alone with him , if he ha priviledge To kisse another Lady , she may say He does salute her , and returne a cursie To shew her breeding , but I le now be playner , Although you love this Lord , it may possible He may dispose his thoughts another way . Ho.

He may so .

Ros. Who can helpe it , he has eyes To looke on more than one , and understand Perhaps to guide , and place his love upon The most deserving object . Ho. Most deserving , This language is not levill with that friendship , You have profest , this touches a comparison . Ros. Why doe you thinke all excellence is throng'd Within your beauty . Ho. You are angry Lady , How much does this concerne you to be thus Officious in his cause , if you be not Engag'd by more than ordinary affection . I must interpret this no kinde respect To me . Ros.

Angry , ha , ha .

Ho.

You then transgresse against civilitie .

Ros. Good Madam why ? because , I thinke , and tell you that another Lady May be as hansome in some mans opinion , Admit I lov'd him too , may not I hold Proportion with you , on some entreaty . Enter Lord . Lor.

They 're loude , I le not be seene yet .

Ros. What is it that exalts you above all Comparison ? my father was as good A gentleman , and my mother has as great A spirit . Ho.

Then you love him too .

Ros. T will appeare No greater miracle in me I take it , Yet difference will be , perhaps I may Affect him with a better consequence . Ho. Your consequence perhaps may be denied too , Why there are no such wonders in your eye Which other composition doe not boast of , My Lord no doubt hath in his travells clapt As modest cheekes , and kist as melting lippes . Ro.

And yet mine are not pale .

Ho.

It may be they blush for the teeth behinde them .

Ro. I have read No sonnets on the sweetnesse of your breath . Ho.

T is not perfum'd .

Ro. But I have heard of your tongue exalted much , Highly commended . Ho. Not above your forehead , When you have brush'd away the hairie pentehrush , And made it visible . Lo. I le now interrupt 'em . They le fall by the eares else presently . Ho.

My Lord .

Lo.

What in contention Ladies ?

Ro.

Oh my Lord you 'r welcome .

Lo. Expresse it in discoverie of that Made you so earnest , I am confident You were not practising a Dialogue To entertaine me . Ho.

Yet it did concerne you .

Ro.

Do not you blush , fie Madam .

Lo. Nay and you come to blush once , and fie Madam , I le know the secret , by this kisse I will , And this . Ho. You were kis'd first , discover now At your discretion . Ro.

My Lord we were in jest .

Ho. It might ha turn'd to earnest , if your Lordship Had not interpos'd . Lo.

Come out with it .

Ro.

We had a difference .

Well said .

Ro.

About a man i th' world , you are best name him .

Ho.

You have the better gift at telling secrets .

Lo. Yet agen , come I le helpe it out , there is A gentleman i th' world , some call a Lord . Ro.

Did your Lordship over-heare us ?

Lo. Nay nay , you must stand too 't , One , whom you Love , it will appeare no greater miracle In you I take it , one no doubt that hath Travel'd , and clapt as modest cheekes , and kis'd As melting lippes , thus farre i me right , but what Name this most happy man doth answer too , Is not within my circle . Ho.

Yet you know him .

Ro. Not to retaine your Lordship i th' darke , Confident you 'le not accuse my modesty For giving you a truth , you shall not travell Beyond your selfe to find his name , but doe not Triumph my Lord . Lo. Am I so fortunate , Then love I doe forgive thee , and will cherish The flame I did suspect would ruine me , You two divide my love , onely you two , Be gentle in your Empire heavenly Ladies , No enemy abroad can threaten you , Be carefull then , that you maintaine at home No civill warres . Ho.

How d ee meane my Lord ?

Lo. You are pleas'd to smile upon me gentle Lady , And I have tooke it in my heart more than Imaginary blessings with what pleasure Could I behold this beautie , and consume My understanding to know nothing else , My memory to preserve no other figure . Ro.

My Lord , I am not worth your flatterie .

Lo. I flatter you ? Venus her selfe be judge , To whom you are so like in all that s faire , T were sinne but to be modest . Ro.

How my Lord ?

Lo. Do not mistake me , t were A sinne but to be modest in your praises , Here s a hand , nature shew me such another , A brow , a cheeke , a lip , and every thing , Happy am I that Cupids blinde . Ro.

Why happy ?

Lo. If he could see , he would forsake his Mistresse To be my rivall , and for thy embraces Be banish'd heaven . Ho.

My Lord I le take my leave .

Lo. If you did know how great a part of me , Will whither in your absence , you would have More charitie , one accent of unkinde Language from you , doth wound me more than all The mallice of my destinies , oh deare Madam , You say you 'le take your leave of your poore servant ; Say rather , you will dwell for ever here , And let me stay and gaze upon Your heavenly forme . Ho. I can be patient To heare your Lordship mocke me , these are but A course reward for my good thoughts . Lo. This t is to use plaine dealing , and betray the inside Of our hearts to women , did you thinke well of me So late , and am I forfeited already , Am I a Christian ? Ho.

Yes I hope my Lord .

Lo. Make me not miserable then , deare Madam , With your suspition , I dissemble with you , But you know too well what command your beauty Has upon me . Ho. Give me leave My Lord to wonder you can love me , With such a flame you have exprest yet shee , Your mistresse ? Lo.

You are both my Mistresses .

Ro.

I like not this so well .

Lo.

There is no way but one to make me happy .

Ho. I wish my Lord I had the art to effect What you desire . Ro.

Or I .

Lo. It is within Your powers . Ho.

Speake it my Lord .

Lo. Since it is so That I me not able to determine which My heart , so equall unto both , would chuse , My suite is to your vertues , to agree Betweene your selves , whose creature I shall be , You can judge better of your worths than I , My allegiance shall be ready if you can Conclude which shall ha the supremacie ; Take pitty on your servant gentle Ladies , And reconcile a heart too much divided , So with the promise of my obedience To her that shall be fairest , wisest , sweetest Of you two , when I next present a lover , I take distracted leave . Exit . Ho.

Why , this is worse than all the rest .

Ro. Hee 's gone , And has referr'd himselfe to us . Ho. This will Aske counsell . Ro. And some time I would be loth To yeeld . Ho.

And I , Cupid instruct us both . Exeunt .

Actus Secundus . Enter Barker , Freshwater , and Gudgine . Bar. ANd what made you to undertake this voyage , Sweete Signior Freshwater . Fr. An affection I had to be acquainted with some countries . Gud.

Give him good words .

Ba. And you returne fraught home with the rich devices , Fashions of steeples , and the situations Of galouses , and wit no doubt a bushell , What price are Oates in Venice ? Fr. Signior I kept no horses there , my man , and I Ba.

Were Asses .

Fr.

How Signior ?

Gud.

Give him good words , a Poxe take him .

Ba.

Had not you land once ?

Fr.

I had some durrie acres .

Gud.

I am his witnesse .

Fr. Which I reduc'd into a narrow compasse , Some call it selling . Gud.

He would sell bargaines of a childe .

Fr.

And t was a thriving pollicie .

Ba.

As how ?

Fr. It was but two hundred pound Per annum sir , A loane revenew . Ba.

And did you sell it all ?

Fr. I did not leave an acre , rod , or perch , That had beene no discretion , when I was selling I would sell to purpose , doe you see this roll , I have good securitie for my money sir , Not an egge here but has five chickens in 't , I did most pollitickely disburse my summes , To have five for one at my returne from Venice , And now I thanke my starres I am at home . Ba. And so by consequence in three moneths your estate Will be five times as much or quintupled . Fr. Yes Signior quintupled , I wonot purchase yet I meane to use This tricke seaven yeares together , first I le still put out , and quintuplie as you call 't , And when I can in my Exchequer tell Two , or three Millions , I will fall a purchasing . Ba.

Kingdomes I warrant .

Fr. I have a minde to buy Constantinople from the Turke , and give it The Emperour . Ba. What thinke you of Ierusalem ? If you would purchase that , and bring it nearer , The Christian Pilgrimes would be much oblig'd to yee , When did you wash your sockes ? Fr.

I weare none Signior .

Ba. Then t is your breath , to your lodging , and perfume it , You 'le tell the sweeter lies to them that will Lose so much time to aske about your travell , You wonot sell your debts ? Fr.

Sell 'em , no Signior .

Ba. Have you as much left in ready cash as will Keepe you and this old troule a fortnight longer , Die , and forgive the world , thou maist be buried , And ha the Church-cloth , if you can put in Securitie , the Parish shall be put To no more charge , dost thou hope to have a penny Of thy owne money backe , is this an age Of five for one , die ere the towne takes notice , There is a hidious woman carries ballets , And has a singing in her head , take heed And hang thy selfe , thou maist not heare the time , You remember Coriate . Fr.

Honest Tom Odcombe .

Ba. Wee 'le ha more verses o' thy travells Coxcombe , Bookes shall be sold in bushells in Cheape side , And come in like the Pescods , waine loads full Of thee , and thy man Apple Iohn that lookes As he had beene a senight in the straw A ripening for the market , farewell Rusiting , Thou art not worth my spleene , doe not forget My counsell , hang thy selfe , and thou go'st off Without a Sessions . Exit . Fr.

Fine , I me glad hee 's gone , Gudgine , what dost thou thinke .

Gud.

I thinke y' are well rid of railing Madcap .

Fr. Nay , nay hee 'le not spare a Lord But were not I best call in my moneyes Gudgin , My estate wonot hold out , I must be more Familiar with my gentlemen . Enter Lord . Lo.

Iacke Freshwater wellcome from Venice .

Fr.

I thanke your honour .

Lo.

Was it not Franke Barker that parted from you ?

Fr.

Yes my Lord .

Lo.

What s the matter ?

Fr.

There is a summe , my Lord .

Lo.

Where is it Signior ?

Fr. There was a summe my Lord delivered From your poore servant Freshwater . Lo. I remember , But I have businesse now , come , home to me , The monie 's safe , you were to give me five For one at your returne . Fr.

I five ? Your Lordship has forgot the Cinquepace .

Lo. Something it is , but when I am at leasure We will discourse of that , and of your travell , Farewell Signior . Exit . Fr. I st come to this ? if Lords play fast and loose , What shall poore Knights , and gentlemen ? Hum , t is he . Enter Coronell . Co.

A Poxe upon him , what makes he in my way .

Fr.

Noble Coronell .

Co.

Que dite vous mounsieur .

Fr.

Que dite vous ?

Co. A wy , Ie ne pa parlee Anglois , There were five English peeces . Co. Ie ne parle Anglois , me speake no word English , Votre seviteur . Exit . Fr. Adiew five peeces , Gudgin gape , is t not he ? They wonot use me o'th is fashion , Did he not speake to me i th' morning ? Gud.

Yes sir .

Fr. I thinke so , But then you would not know him in Italian , And now he will not know you in French . Fr. Call you this selling of land , and putting out money To multiply estate ? Gud.

To quintuply five for one , large interest .

Fr.

Five for one , t is tenne to one if I get my principall .

Gud.

Your roll is not at the bottome , yet try the rest .

Fr.

I ha , Signior farewell . Exeunt .

Enter Scutilla and Solomon . Scu.

Didst speake with the Coronell ?

Sol. I met him opportunely after all the rest , And told him how much it would concerne His livelihood to make haste . Scu. He must not be seene yet , you know where To attend for him , give him accesse by The garden to my chamber , and bring Me nimbly knowledge when he is there . Sol.

I shall forsooth . Exit .

Enter the Dancer , Lady Rosomond , Lady Lucina , and Lady Honoria . Dan. Very well an dat be skirvy you run trot , trot , trot , Pisha , follow me , fout Madame , can you not tell So often learning — Madam you foot it now Pla it ill . Another Lady dances . Excellent , better den excellent pishaw — you be laughed When you come to do Ball ; I teach tree hundred , never Forgot so much , me sweat taking paine , and fidling Ladies . Luc.

Fidling Ladies , you Molecatcher .

Dan. Purquoy for telling you Dance not well , you commit fat , and beate me for my Dilligence becar you dance your pleasure . Ho. No Mounsieure Le Friske put not up your pipe , my Lady Was but in jest , and you must take it for a favour . Dan. I veare no favours in dat place , should any gentleman Of England give me blow , diable me teach him French Passage . Ro. Nay you shanot be so angry , I must have a Coronte , Pray Madam be reconcil'd . Luc.

Come Mounsieur I am sorry .

Dan. Sorre , tat is too much par ma foy , I kisse tat white hand , Give me one two tree buffets , aller , aller looke up your Countenance , your English man spoile you , he no teach You looke up , pishaw , carry your body in the swimming Fashion , and deu allei moy moselle ha , ha , ha , So for boon excellent becar . Dance . Luc. Nay a Country dance Scutilla , you are idle , You know we must be at the Ball anon , come . Dan.

Where is the Ball this night .

Luc.

At my Lord Rainebowes .

Dan. Oh he dance finely becar , he deserve the Ball of de world , Fine , fine gentleman , your oder men dance lop , lop with De lame legge as they want crushes begore , and looke for Argent in the ground pishaw , They dance a new Country Dance . Hah , hah , for boone . Ro.

Now Madame we take our leave .

Luc.

I le recompence this kind visite : does your coach stay ?

Ho. Yes Madam , Your Ladiship will be too much troubled . Luc.

I owe more service .

Scu.

Mounsieur you 'le begone too .

Dan.

I have more Ladie , my Schollers .

Sciu.

Is that the way of your instrument .

Dan. All a murdu France , fit , fit adiew Madam votre serviteur , Adiew demy Mounsieur . Exeunt . Enter Solomon and Coronell . Scu.

Sir , you are welcome .

Co.

I thanke you Ladie .

Scu. The tim 's too narrow to discourse at large , But I intend you a service , You have deserv'd it In your owne noblenesse to one I call a kinsman , Whose life without your charitie had beene Forfeit to his generalls anger , t was not Without his cause you after quit your regiment . Co.

He was my friend , forget it .

Scu. You were sent for By the Lady Lucina . Co.

Whose command I waite .

Scu. T was my desire to prepare you for The entertainement , be but pleas'd to obscure Your selfe behind these hangings a few minuts , I heare her , you may trust me . Co.

Without dispute , I obey you Lady .

Enter Lady Lucina . Luc. Now Scutilla we are ripe , and ready To entertaine my Gamesters , my man said They promised all to come , I was afraid These Ladies in their kinde departure wo'd not Bequeath me opportunitie , and the mirth Doth in the imagination so ticle me , I wo'd not willingly ha lost it for a Jewell Of some valew . Scu.

Then your purchase holds .

Luc. If they hold their affections , and keepe touch , Wee le ha some sport . Enter Solomon . Sol.

Sr. Marmaduke Travers .

Luc. Away Scutilla , and Laugh not loud betweene our acts , wee le meete Agen like musicke , and make our selves merry . Scin.

I waite nere you .

Enter Sr. Marmaduke . Luc. Sr. Markmaduke I thought I should have had Your visite without a summonds . Ma. Lady you gave One feather to the wings I had before , Can there be at last a service to imploy Your creature ? Luc.

Something hath pleaded for you in your absence .

Ma. Oh let me dwell upon your hand , my starres Have then remembred me agen . Luc. How doe the Fennes ? Goes the draning forward , and your Iron Mills ? Mar.

Draning , and Iron Mills ? I know not Madam .

Luc. Come , you conceale your industry , and care To thrive , you neede not be so close to me . Ma.

By this hand Lady , have I any Iron Mills ?

Luc. I am abus'd else , nay I doe love One that has Wind-mills in his head . Ma.

How Madam ?

Lu. Projects , and Proclamations , did not you Travell to Yarmouth to learne how to cast Brasse buttons , nay I like it , it is an age For men to looke about 'em , shall I trust My estate to one that has no thrift , a fellow But with one face ? my husband shall be a Ianus , He cannot looke too many wayes , and is Your patent for making Vineger confirm'd : What a face you put upon 't nay , nere dissemble , Come I know all , you 'le thanke that friend of yours , That satisfied my inquirie of your worth With such a welcome character , but why Doe I betray my selfe so fast ? beshrow His commendations . Ma. How is this ? some body That meant me well , and knew her appetite To wealth hath told this of me , I le make use on t ; Well Madam , I desir'd these things more private Till something worth a mine , which I am now Promoving had beene perfect to salute you , But I perceive you hold intelligence In my affaires , which I interpret love , And I le requite it , will you be content Be a countesse for the present . Luc. I shall want No honour in your love . Ma.

When shall we marry ?

Luc.

Something must be prepar'd .

Ma. A licence , and say no more , How blest am I , doe not blush , I wonot kisse your lip , till I ha brought it . Exit Luc.

Ha , ha , Scutilla .

Scu.

Be secret still .

Luc.

Canst thou not laugh ?

Scu. Yes Madam you have kept your word , The Knights transported , gone To prepare things for the wedding . Luc.

How didst thou like the Iron Mills .

Scu. And the Brasse buttons rarely , have you devices To jeere the rest . Luc.

All the regiment on 'em , or I le breake my bowstrings .

Sol.

Sr. Ambrose Lamount .

Luc.

Away , and let the Swallow enter .

Enter Sr. Ambrose , and Solomon . Luc. Why Sirra , did I command you give accesse to none ? But Sr. Ambrose Lamount ? Whom you know I sent for , Audacious Groome . Sol.

It is Sir , Madam .

Luc. It is Sr. Ambrose Coxcombe , is it not , Cry mercy noble sir , I tooke you muffled For one that every day sollicites me To bestow my little dogge upon him , but you 'r welcome , I thinke I sent for you . Am. It is my happinesse To waite your service Lady . Luc. I heare say you have vow'd to die a Batchellor , I hope it is not true sir . Am.

I die a Batchellor ?

Luc.

And that you 'le turne religious Knight .

Am.

I turne religious Knight , who has abus'd me ?

Luc. I would onely know the truth , it were great pittie , For my owne part I ever wish'd you well , Although in modesty I have beene silent , Pray what 's a clocke ? Am.

Howe s this ?

Luc. I had a dreame last night , me thought I saw you Dance so exceedingly rarely , that I fell In love . Am.

In love with me .

Luc.

With your legges sir .

Am.

My legge is at your service to come over .

Luc. I wondred at my selfe , but I considered , That many have beene caught with hansome faces , So my love grew . Am.

Vpwards .

Luc. What followed in my dreame I ha forgot . Am.

Leave that to finish waking !

Luc. Since the morning I finde some alteration , you know I have told you twenty times I would not love you , But whether t were your wisedome or your fate You would not be satisfied , now I know not If something were procur'd , what I should answer . Am.

A licence , say no more .

Luc.

Would were my estate were doubled .

Am.

For my sake .

Luc.

You have not Purchas'd since you fell in love ?

Am.

Not much land .

Luc. Revells have beene some charge to you , you were ever A friend to Ladies , pitty but he should rise By one , has fallen with so many , had you not A head once ? Am.

A head ? I have one still .

Luc. Of haire I meane , Favours ha glean'd too much , pray pardon me If it were mine , they should goe looke their bracelets , Or stay till the next crop , but I blush sir To hold you in this discourse , you will perhaps Conster me in a wrong sence ; but you may use Your owne discretion till you know me better , Which is my soules ambitions . Am.

I am blest .

Cor. Cunning Gipsie shee 'le use me thus too When I come too 't ? Am.

Lady I know your mind , when I see you next . Exit .

Luc.

You le see me agen , ha ha ha , Scutilla .

Scu. Here Madam almost dead with stifling my laughter , Why hee 's gone for a Licence , you did injoyne him no Silence . Luc. I wou'd have 'em all meete and brag o' their severall Hopes they wonot else be sensible , and quit me o' their Tedious visitation , who 's next ? I would the Coronell were come , I long to have about with him . Sol.

Mr. Bostocke Madam .

Luc.

Retire , and give the lay admittance .

Enter Bostocke . Bo.

Madam , I kisse your faire hand .

Luc.

Oh Mr. Bostocke ,

Bo.

The humblest of your servants .

Luc. Two not become your birth , and blood to stoope To such a title . Bo. I must confesse deare Lady , I carry in my veines more precious honour Then other men , blood of a deeper crimson , But you shall call me any thing . Luc. Not I sir , It would not become me to change your title , Although I must confesse I could desire You were lesse honourable . Bo. Why I prethee , I st a fault to spring from the Nobilitie ? There be some men have sold well favour'd Lordships , To be ill favoured Noblemen , and though I weare no title of the state , I can Adorne a Lady . Luc. That is my misfortune , I would you could not sir . Bo. Are you the worse For that ? consider Lady . Luc. I have considered , And I could wish with all my heart you were Not halfe so noble , nay indeede no Gentlman . Bo.

How Lady ?

Luc. Nay , if you give me leave to speake my thoughts , I would you were a fellow of two degrees Beneath a foote man , one that had no kindred , But Knights o th' post , nay worse , pardon me sir , In the humour I am in , I wish , and heartily , You were a sonne o th' people rather then . Bo.

Good Madam give me your reason .

Luc.

Because I love you .

Bo.

Few women wish so ill to whom they love .

Luc.

They doe not love like me then .

Bo.

Say you so .

Luc. My wealths a begger , nay the title of A Lady which my husband left , is a shadow Compar'd to what you bring to innoble me , And all the children you will get , but I Out of my love desire you such a one , That I might adde to you , that you might be Created by my wealth , made great by me , Then should my love appeare , but as you are , I must receive addition from you . Bo. No body heares , why harke you Lady , could You love me , if I were lesse honourable ? Luc. Honourable ? why you cannot be so base As I would have you , that the world might say My marriage gave you somewhat . Bo. Say you so , Vnder the Rose , if that will doe you a pleasure , The Lords doe call me cosin , but I am . Luc.

What ?

Bo.

Suspected .

Luc.

How ?

Bo. Not to be lawfull , I came in at the Wicket , Some call it the Window . Luc.

Can you prove it .

Bo.

Say no more .

Luc. Then I preferre you before all my suiters , Sr. Ambrose Lamount , and Sr. Marmaduke Travers are all Mountibankes . Bo.

What say to the Coronell .

Luc. A Lanse pre sado , how my joy transports me , But shall I trust to this , doe not you flatter ? Will not you fly from that , and be legitimate , When we are married , you men are too cunning With simple Ladies . Bo. Doe but marry me , I le bring the Midwife . Luc. Say no more , provide What you thinke necessary , and all shall be Dispatch'd . Bo. I guesse your meaning , and thus seale My best devotion . Exit . Scu.

Away now and present your selfe .

Luc. Oh Scutilla , hold me , I shall fall In peeces else , ha ha , ha . Scu. Beshrow me Madam , but I wonder At you , you woond him rarely up . Luc. Have not I choise of precious husbands ? now and The Coronell were here , the taske Were over . Scu. Then you might goe play , Madam the Coronell . Enter Coronell . Lue.

Is he come once more ? withdraw , bid him march hither .

Co. Now is my turne Madam . Luc. Y are welcome sir , I thought you would have gone , And not grac'd me so much as with a poore Salute at parting . Co.

Gone whither ?

Luc.

To the warres .

Co. She jeares me already , no Lady I 'me already Engag'd to a siege at home , and till that service Be over , I enquire no new employments . Luc.

For honours sake what siege ?

Co. A Cittadell , That severall forces are set downe before , And all is entrench'd . Luc.

What Cittadell ?

Co.

A woman .

Luc.

She cannot hold out long .

Co. Ostend was sooner taken then her for t Is like to be for any thing I perceive . Luc.

Is she so well provided ?

Co. Her provision May faile her , but she is devilish obstinate , She feares nor fire nor famine . Luc.

What s her name ?

Co.

Lucina .

Luc. Ha ha ha , alas poore Coronell ; If you le take my advice remove your siege , A province will be sooner wonne in the Low countries , ha ha ha . Co.

Lady , you sent for me .

Luc. T was but to tell you my opinion in this businesse , You 'le sooner circumcise the Turkes dominions , Then take this toy you talke off , I doe know it , Farewell good Souldier , ha ha ha , and yet t is pittie , Is there no stratagem , no tricke , no undermine ; If she be given so desperate , your body Had neede to be well victuall'd , there s a citie And suburbes in your belly , and you must Lay in betimes to prevent mutinie Among the small guts , which with winde of venge else Will breake your guarde of buttons , ha ha ha Come wee le laugh , and lie downe in the next roome Scutilla . Exit . Co. So so , I did expect no good , Why did not I strike her , but I le doe something , And be with you to bring before you thinke out , Mallice and Mercurie assist me . Exit .

Actus Tertius . Enter Lord and Barker . Ba.

SO so , y au'e a precious time on 't .

Lor. Who can helpe it Franke , if Ladies will Be wilde , repentance tame 'em , for my part I court not them , till they provoke me too te . Ba.

And doe they both affect you .

Lo. So they say , And did justifie it to my face . Ba.

And you did praise their modesty .

Lo. I confesse I prais'd 'em Both when I saw no remedy . Ba.

You did , and they beleev'd .

Lo.

Religiously ?

Ba. Do not Doe not beleeve it my young Lord , they le make Fooles of a thousand such , they doe not love you . Lo.

Why , and shall please your wisedome ?

Ba. They are women , That s a reason , and may satisfie you , They cannot love a man . Lo.

What then ?

Ba. Themselves , And all little enough , they have a tricke To conjure with their eyes , and perhaps raise A masculine spirit , but lay none . Lo. Good Cato Be not over-wise now , what s the reason That women are not sainted in your Calender , You have no frosty constitution ? Ba.

Would you were halfe so honest .

Lo. Why a woman May love thee one day . Ba. Yes when I make legges And faces like such fellowes as you are . Lo.

Mounsieur La Friske . Enter Mounsieur La Friske .

Moun.

Serviteur .

Lo.

Nay Franke thou shalt not goe .

Ba.

I le come agen when you ha done your Iygge .

Moun.

A Mounsieur .

Lo.

Come you shall sit downe , this fellow will make thee laugh .

Ba.

I shall laugh at you both , and I stay .

Lo. Harke you Mounsieur , this gentleman has a great Minde to learne to dance . Moun. He command my service , Please your Lordship beginne tat he may See your profit alkey — hah . Lo.

How like you this Franke ?

Ba. Well enough for the dogge-dayes , but have You no other dancing for the Winter , a man May freeze and walke thus . Moun. It be all your grace Mounsieur , your Dance be horseplay begar for de stable not De chamber , your ground passage hah Never hurt de backe Mounsieur , nor trouble De legge mush , hah plait ill you learne Mounsieur . Lo.

For mirth sake , and thou lovest me .

Moun. Begar I teach you presently , dance with all de Grace of de body for your good , and my profit . Ba.

Pardon me my Lord .

Moun.

Oh not pardonne moy .

Lo.

Doe but observe his methode

Ba.

I shall never endure it , pox upon him .

Mo. T is but dis in de beginning , one , two , tree , foure , five , the Cinquepace , alley Mounsieur , stand upright an begar . Lo.

Let him set you in toth posture .

Mo. My broder my Lord know wel for de litle kit he fiddle And me for de posture of de body , begar de King has no too Sush subjects hah , dere be one foote , two foote , have You tree foote , begar you have more den I have den . Ba.

I shall breake his fiddle .

Lo.

Thou art so humerous .

Moun. One , beene two hah , you goe to fast , you be at Dover Begar , and me be at Greenwish , tree toder legge pishaw . Ba.

A poxe upon your legges , i le no more .

Moun.

Purquoy .

Lo. Ha ha ha , I wod some Ladies were here to laugh At thee now , you wonot be so rude to meddle with The Mounsieur in my lodging . Ba.

I le kicke him to death , and bury him in a Base-violl Iackalent .

Mo. Iackalent , begar you be Iackenape , if I had my weapon You durst no affront me , I be as good gentleman , an for All my fiddle as you , call me a Iacke a de lent . Lo.

Raile upon him Mounsieur , I le secure thee , ha ha ha .

Moun. Because your leg have de poc , or someting dat make Em no vell , and friske , you make a foole of a Mounsieur . My Lord use me like Gentleman , an I care no rush for You , be desperate , kill me , and me complaine to de King , and teach new dance , galliarde to de gibbet , you Be hang'd in English fashion . Exit Ba.

Goe , y ar'e an impertinent Lord , and I will be reveng'd

Lo. Ha , ha , good Diogenes , come Mounsieur , You and I wonot part yet . Moun. My Lord , if you had not beene here , me wod hav Broken his head with my fiddle . Lo.

You might sooner have broke your fiddle , but strike up .

Moun.

Allei hah boone . They Dance in .

Enter Bostocke . Bo. I spie Sir Marmaduke comming after me , This way I le take to avoide his tedious questions , Hee le interrupt me , and I ha not finish'd Things fit for my designe . Enter Sr. Ambrose . Am. T is Mr Bostocke , little does he thinke What I am going upon , I feare I shanot Containe my joyes . Bo.

Good fortune to Sr. Ambrose .

Am. Sir you must pardon , I cannot waite Vpon you now , I ha businesse of much consequence . Bo. I thought to have made the same excuse to you , For at this present I am so engag'd . Am.

We shall meete shortly .

Both .

Ha ha ha .

Bo.

Poore Gentleman how is he beguil'd .

Am. Your nose is wip'd , hum , t is Sr. Marmaduke , Enter Sr. Marmaduke . I must salute him . Bo.

The Coronell ? there s no going backe .

Ma. What misfortun 's this ? but t is no matter , Noble sir how is t ? Am.

As you see sir .

Co.

As I could wish noble Mr. Bostocke ,

Bo.

Your humble servant Coronell .

Co.

Nay nay a word .

Ma. I shannot forbeare jeering these poore things , They shall be mirth . Co. What all met so happily ? and how my Sparkes of honour ? Am. Things so ticle me , I shall breake out . Co.

When saw , you our Mistresse Lady Lucina .

Am. My suite is cold there , Mr. Bostocke carries The Lady cleane before him . Bo.

No no not , it is Sr. Marmaduke .

Ma.

I gleane by smiles after Sr. Ambrose .

Co. None of you see her to day ? I may as soone marry the Moone , and get Children on her , I see her not this three dayes , T is very strange , I was to present my service This morning . Ma.

You le march away with all .

Co. I cannot tell , but there s small signe of victory , And yet me thinkes you should not be neglected , If the Fennes goe forward , and your Iron Mills . Ma.

Has she betraid me ?

Co. Some are industrious , And have the excellent skill to cast brasse buttons . Ma.

Coronell softly .

Co. How will you sell your vineger a pint , The Patent something sawcie . Am.

The Coronell jeeres him .

Bo.

Excellent , ha ha .

Co. Had not you a head once , Of haire I meane , favours ha glean'd too much , If Ladies will ha bracelets , let 'em stay Till the next croppe . Am.

Hum , the very language she us'd to me .

Bo.

Does he jeere him too , nay nay , prethee spare him . ha , ha .

Co. You may doe much , and yet I could desire You were lesse honourable , for though you have Blood of a deeper crimson , the good Lady Out of her love could wish you were a thing Beneath a foote man , and that you had no kindred But Knights o th' post . Bo.

Good Coronell .

Co. Nay pardon me , In the humour I am in , I wish , and heartily , You were a sonne o th' people . Bo. Coronell , How the devill came he by this ? Co. Vnder the Rose there was a gentleman Came in at the Wicker , these are tales of which The Greekes have store , faire hopes Gentlemen . Mar.

How came you by this intelligence .

Co. Nay I le no whispering , what I say to one Will concerne every man , shee has made You coxcombes . Am.

It does appeare .

Co. And more then does appeares yet I had my share . Bo.

That s some comfort , I was afraid .

Co. But you shall pardon me , I le conceale The particulars of her bountifull abuses To me , let it suffice I know we are all Ieer'd most abominably , I stood behinde The hangings when shee sign'd your severall passes , And had my owne at last worse than the Constables , That this is true , you shall have more than oath , I le joyne wee in revenge , and if you wonot , I will doe 't alone . Ma.

She is a devill .

Am. Damme her then , till we thinke on something else , Le ts all goe backe , and raile upon her . Bo.

Agreed , a poxe upon her .

Ma.

We cannot be to bitter , shee s a hell Cat .

Am. D ee heare , listen to me our shames are equall , Yet if we all discharge at once upon her , We shall but make confusion , and perhaps Give her more cause to laugh , let us chuse one , To curse her for us all . Co. T is the best way , and if you love me gentlemen , Engage me , I deserve this favour for my Discovery , I le sweare her into hell . Ma.

Troth I ha no good veine , I me content .

Bo. Gentlemen , noble Coronell as you respect A wounded branch of the Nobilitie , Make it my office , she abus'd me most , and if The devill doe not furnish me with language , I le say he has no malice . Co.

If they consent .

Mar. Am.

With all our hearts .

Bo.

I thanke you gentlemen .

Co. But le ts us all together , I le not be barr'd , Now and then to enterpose an oath , As I shall finde occasion . Bo. You le releeve me When I take breath , then you may helpe , or you , Or any to confound her . Co.

Let away .

Bo.

Never was witch so tortur'd . Exeunt

Enter Freshwater , Gudgin , and Solomon . Sol.

Noble Mr. Freshwater welcome from travell .

Fr,

Where be the Ladies ?

So. In the next roome sir ; My Lady Rosomond is sitting for her picture , I presume you will be welcome . Fr.

An English Painter ?

So.

Yes sir .

Fr.

Prethee let me see him .

He gives Freshwater accesse to the Chamber and returnes . Sol, This way , Honest Gudgin , How , and the matters abroad , a touch of Thy travell , what newes . Gud. First , let me understand the state of things At home . So. We have little alteration since thou went'st , The same newes are in fashion , Onely gentlemen are faine to ramble , and stumble For their flesh since the breach o th' banke side . Gud.

Is my aunt defunct .

So. Yet the Viragoes ha not lost their spirit , some on 'Em have challeng'd the field , every day where Gentlemen have met 'em , oh the dogge-dayes bit Shreudly , t was a vilanous dead vacation . Gud.

Is Pauls alive still ?

Sol. Yes , yes , a little sicke o th' stone , she voides some Every day , but she is now in phisicke , And may in time recover . Gud.

The Exchange stands ?

Sol. Longer than a Church , There is no feare while the Merchants have faith ; A little of thy travells , for the time is precious , what Things have you seene or done since you left England ? Gud. I have not leasure to discourse of particulars , but first My Mr. and I have runne France through , and through . So.

Through and through , how is that man ?

Gud. Why once forward , and once backward , that s through And through . Sol. T was but a cowardly part to runne a Kingdome Through backeward . Gud.

Not with our horses Solomon , not with our horses .

Enter Freshwater and Lady Rosomond . Fr. Madam , I did not thinke your Ladiship Had so little judgement So.

As how Signiour ?

Fr. As to let an English man draw Your Picture , and such rare Mounsieurs in towne . Ro.

Why not English ?

Fr. Oh by no meanes Madam , They ha not active Pensiles . Ros.

Thinke you so .

Fre. You must incourage strangers while you live , It is the Character of our nation , We are famous for dejecting our owne countrymen . Ros.

Is that a principle .

Fre.

Who teaches you to dance ?

Ros.

A Frenchman Signior .

Fre. Why so , t is necessary , Trust while you live the Frenchman with your legges , Your faces with the Dutch , if you mislike Your faces , I meane if it be not sufficiently Painted , let me commend upon my credit A pretious workeman to your Ladyship . Ros.

What is he .

Fre. Not an English man I warrant you , One that can please the Ladies every way , You shannot sit with him all day for shaddowes , He has Regallias , and can present you with Suckets of foureteene pence a pound , Canary , Prunellas , Venice glasses , Parmisan , Sugars , Bologuia , Sausages all from Antwerpe ; But he will make Ollepodredos most incomparably . Ros. I have heard of him by a noble Lady Told me the tother day , that sitting for Her picture , shee was stifled with a strange Perfume of hornes . Fre.

A Butcher told me of 'em , very likely .

Ros. When I have neede Of this rare Artist I will trouble you For my directions , leaving this discourse , How thrives your Catalogue of debtors Signior . Fre.

All have payd me , but ;

Ros. You shannot name me in the list of any That are behind , beside my debt a purse For clearing the account . Fre. You are just Madam , And bountifull , though I came hither with Simple intention to present my service It shall be crost . Gudgin remember too , Her Ladiships name . Sol. My Cosin has the Same provision for you . Enter Barker , and Lady Honoria . Gud.

Sir , Master Barker .

Fre. Madam I le take my leave , I le finde another Time to attend my Lady , there 's no light , I cannot abide this fellow . Exit with Gud. Hon. Madam , Master Barker hath some designe Which he pretends concernes us both . Ros.

Hee 's welcome , what is t ?

Bar.

My Lord commends him to yee .

Ros.

Which Lord Sir ?

Bar. The Lord , the fine , the wanton dancing Lord , The Lord that playes upon the Gitterne , and sings , Leapes upon tables , and does pretty things , Would have himselfe commended . Ros.

So Sir .

Bar. He loves you both , he told me so , And laughs behind a visard at your frailtie , He cannot love that way you imagine , And Ladies of the game are now no miracles . Hon. Although he use to raile thus , yet we have Some argument to suspect his Lordships tongue Has beene to liberall . Ros. I finde it too , and blush within to thinke How much we are deceived , I may be even With this May-Lord . Exit . Hon. But does his Lordship thinke We were so taken with his person . Bar.

You wod not , and you knew as much as I .

Hon.

How Sir ?

Bar. I ha beene acquainted with his body Ha knowne his baths and phisicke . Hon. I st possible , I am sorry now at heart . I had a good thought on him , hee shall see 't , For I will love some other in revenge , And presently if any gentleman Ha but the grace to smile , and court me up too 't . Ba.

Hum ?

Ho. A buble of Nobilitie , a giddy Phantasticke Lord , I want none of his titles , Now in my imaginations he appeares Ill favoured , and not any part about him Worth halfe a commendation , wod he were here . Co.

You l make more on him .

Ho. That I might examine , And doe my judgement right betweene you two now ▪ How much he would come short , you have an eye Worth fortie of his , nose of another making ; I saw your teeth ene now compar'd to which , His are of the complexion of his combe , I meane his boxe , and will in time be yellower , And aske more making cleane , you have a shew Of something on your upper lippe , a Witch Has a Philosophers beard to him , his chinne Has just as many hounds as haires that ever My eyes distinguish'd yet , you have a body And unpromising in his slashes , one May see through him , and for his legges they both Would but make stuffing for one hansome stocking , Th' are a Lords I will be sworne , I dote upon him , I could wish somewhat , but I me sworry sir To trouble you so much , all happie thoughts Possesse you . Exit Ba. How is this , if I have wit To apprehend , this Lady does not hate me ? I have profest a cinicke openly , This language melts , I le visite her againe . Enter Honoria . Ho.

Sir , I have a small request to you .

Ba.

Lady command .

Ho. If you thinke I have power Or will to deserve from you any courtesie , Pray learne to dance . Ba.

To dance ?

Ho. At my entreatie sir to dance , It was the first thing tooke me with his Lordship , You know not what may follow , fare you well . Exit . Ba. What pretends this to dance , there s something in 't , I 've reveng'd my selfe already upon my Lord , Yet deeper with my Lady is the sweeter , Something must be resolv'd . Exit . Enter Lady Lucina and Scutilla . Luc. Enough enough of conscience , le ts reserve Part of the mirth to another time , I shall Meete some other hot worships at the Ball ; Vnlesse their appehension prompt 'em , Earlier to know their folly in pursuing me . Enter Solomon . Sol. Madam , the Gentlemen that were here this morning In single visits are come all together , And pray to speake with you . Luc.

They 've met already give 'em accesse .

Scu.

I wonder what they 'le say .

Enter Bostocke , Lamount , Coronell , and Travers . Co.

Be confident she shall endure it .

Bo. So so , How d ee Gentlemen , y ar'e very wellcome . Am. T is no matter for that we doe not come to be Welcome , neither will we be welcome , speake Mr. Bostocke . Bo.

We come to mortifie you .

Luc.

You will use no violence .

Bo. But of our tongues , and in the names of these Abused gentlemen , and my selfe I spit Defiance , stand further off , and be attentive , Weepe or doe worse , repentance wet thy linnen , And leave no veine for the Doctor . Luc.

They 're mad .

Scu. There is no danger Madam , let us heare 'em , If they scold we two shall be hard enough for 'em , And they were twenty . Bo.

Thou Basiliske .

Luc.

At first sight ?

Bo. Whose eyes shat fire , and poyson , Malicious as a Witch , and much more cunning , Thou that dost ride men . Luc.

I ride men ?

Bo. Worse than the night Mare , let thy tongue be silent . And take our scourges patiently , thou hast In thy owne selfe all the ingredients Of wickednesse in thy sexe , able to furnish Hell if it were insufficiently provided With falshood , and shee feind of thy owne making Circe that charm'd men into swine , was not So much a Jew as thou art , thou hast made Vs Asses , dost thou heare ? Am.

He speakes for us all .

Bo. But it is better we be all made such , Than any one of us be monstred worse To be an Oxe thy husband . Scu.

Luc. Ha ha ha .

Bo.

Dost thou laugh Crocadile ?

Co.

That was well said .

Bo. Spirit of flesh and blood I le conjure thee , And let the devill lay thee on thy backe I care not . Ma.

Admirable Bostocke .

Co.

That spirit of flesh and blood was well inforc'd .

Bo. You thought us animales insensible Of all your juglings did you Prorsepnie ? Am.

I come to that .

Bo. And that we lov'd , lov'd with a poxe your phisnomie , Know we but tried thee Beldam , and thou art Thy selfe a sonne o th' earth . Am.

How , shee a sonne ?

Bo. T was a mistake , but she knowes my meaning , I beginne to be a wearie gentlemen , I le breath a while . Co. T is time , and that you may Not want encouragement take that . Bo.

Gentlemen Coronell , what d ee meane .

Co. You shall know presently , dare but lift thy voyce To fright this Lady , or but aske thy pardon , My sword shall rip thy body for thy part , And naile it on her threshold , or if you , The proudest offer but in lookes to justifie The basenesse of this wretch your soules shall answer 't . Ma.

Howe s this ?

Co. Oh impudence unheard , pardon Madam My tedious silence , the affront grew up So fast I durst not trust my understanding That any gentleman could attempt so much Dishonour to a Lady of your goodnesse ; Was this your project to make me appeare Guilty of that I hate beyond all sacriledge , Was it for this you pray'd my company , You todpoles ? t is your presence charmes my sword , Or they shall quickly pay their forfeit lives , No Altar could protect 'em . Am.

We are betray'd .

Ma.

Was it not his plot to have us raile ?

Co.

Say , shall I yet be active ?

Luc. By no meanes , This is no place for blood , nor shall any cause Engage to such a danger . Co. Live to be Your owne vexations then till you be mad , And then remove your selfe with your owne garters . You shannot goe before I know from whose Braine this proceeded , you are the mirth , Was ever civill Lady so abus'd In her owne house by ingratefull horseleeches ? Could your corrupted natures finde no way But this to recompence her noble favours , Her courteous entertainements , would any Heathens done like to you ? admit she was So just to say she could see nothing in you Worthy her deerer thoughts as to say truth , How could a creature of her wit and judgement Not see how poore and miserable things You are at best ? must you impudent In such a loud , and peremptory manner , Disturbe the quiet of her thoughts and dwelling Gentlemen rather hinds scarce fit to mixe , Vnlesse you mend her manners with her drudges . Luc.

This shewes a noblenesse , dost not Scutilla ?

Bo.

Why sir , did not you tell us ?

Co.

What did I tell you ?

Bo.

Nothing .

Co.

Be gone , least I forget my selfe .

Bo. I have a token to remember you A palsie upon your fingers noble Coronell . Ma.

Was this his stratagem ? we must be gone . Exit .

Luc. Sir I must thanke yee , and desire your pardon , For what has past to your particular . Co. Ya 've more than satisfied my service in Th' acknowledgement : disdaine cannot provoke Me to be so insolent . Luc.

Againe I thanke you .

Co. I can forget your last neglect , if you Thinke me not too unworthy to expect Some favour from you . Luc.

How d ee meane .

Co. Why as As a servant should that is ambitious ? To call you Mistresse , till the happier title Of wife crowne his desires . Luc. I must confesse , This has wone much upon me : but two words To such a bargaine , y' are a gentleman , I me confident would adventure for me . Co.

As farre as a poore life could speake my service .

Luc. That s faire and farre enough , I make not any Exception to your person . Co. Body enough I hope to please a Lady Luc.

But .

Co.

To my fortune .

Luc.

To that the least , I have estate for both .

Co. Though if hold no comparison with youre , It keepes me like a gentleman . Luc.

I have a scruple .

Co. You honour me in this , There s hope , if I can take a way that care , You may be mine . Luc. Sir can you put me in securitie That you have beene honest ? Co.

Honest , how d ee meane ?

Luc. Beene honest of your body , you are gentlemen , Out of the warres live lazie , and feede high , Drinke the rich grape , and in Canary may Doe strange things , when the wine has wash'd away Discretion . Co.

What is your meaning Lady ?

Luc. I doe not urge you for the time to come . Pray understand , have you beene honest hitherto And yet because you shannot trouble friends To be compurgators , I le be satisfied ; If you will take your owne oath that you are . Co.

Honest of my body ?

Luc. Yes sir , it will become me to be carefull Of my health , I le take your owne assurance , If you can cleare your body by an oath , I le marry none but you , before this gentlewoman . Co.

Your reason why you use me thus ?

Luc. I wonder you will aske , doe not I heare How desperate some ha beene , what paine , what phisicke . Co.

This is a tale of a tubbe Lady .

Luc. You rid no match without a shirt , to shew The complexion of your body , I ha done sir When you resolue to sweare y' are honest , I Vow to he yours , your wife : I am not hastie , Thinke on 't , and tell me when we meete againe Anon , to night , to morrow , when you please ; So farewell noble Coronell , come Scutilla . Exeunt . Co. I st come to this ? I am jeer'd agen , is t possible To be honest at these yeeres , a man of my Complexion , and acquaintance ? was ever A gentleman put to this oath before a this fashion ? If I ha the grace now to forsweare my selfe , Something may be done , and yet t is doubtfull Shee le have more trickes , if widdowes be thus coltish , The devill will have a taske that goes a woing . Exit .

Actus Quartus . Enter Lord and Bostocke . Bo. SVch an affront my Lord , I was asham'd on 't , A meere conspiracie to betray our fames , But had you seene how poorely they behav'd Themselves , such carven Knights , a paire of Drone-Bees I th' midst o' my vexation , if I could Forbeare to laugh , I ha no blood in me , They were so farre from striking that they stood Like Images , things without life and motion , Feare could not make so much as their tongue tremble , Left all to me . Lo.

So so , what then did you .

Bo. The Lady laugh'd too , and the Coronell Increas'd his noise , to see how she derided The poore Knights . Lo. Leave their Character and proceede To what you did . Bo. You shall pardon me my Lord , I am not willing to report my selfe , They and the Lady , and the Coronell Can witnesse I came on . Lo.

But how came you off cosin ? that must commend you .

Bo, I ha my limbes my Lord , no signe of losse Of blood you see , but this was fortune , how The Coronell came of t 's uncertaine . Lo.

Doe not you know ?

Bo.

No , I left him , I thinke t is time .

Lo.

You did not kill him ?

Bo. Vpon my faith my Lord I meant it not , But wounds fall out some time when the swords in , These are poore things to bragge on , I ha sav'd my Selfe you see . Lo. If it be so I le call you cosin still , my satinist Enter Barker . Harke you shall beate this fellow . Bo.

Shall I my Lord without cause ?

Lo. He shall give you cause presently , how now Gum'd taffata . Ba. I pay for what I weare My sattaine Lord ? your Wardrobe does not keepe Me warme , I doe not runne o th' ticket with The Mercers wife , and leacher out my debts At country houses . Lor.

There s something else you doe not .

Ba. I doe not use to flatter such as you are , Whose bodies are so rotten , they le scarce keepe Their soules from breaking out , I write no odes Vpon your Mistresse to commend her postures , And tumbling in a coach towards Padington , Whether you hurry her to see the Phesants , And try what operation the egges have At your returne , I am not taken with Your mightie nonsence , glean'd from Heathenish playes , Which leave a curse upon the Author for 'em , Though I have studied to redeeme you from The infection of such bookes , which martyr sence Worse than an Almanacke . Lo. Excellent Satire , But lash not on , stop here , or I shall kicke Your learned worship . Ba.

But doe not , I advise you doe not .

Lo.

Why doe not ?

Ba. It will fall heavy o' some body , if your Lordship Kicke me , I shall not spare your cosin there . Lo.

On that condition what doe you thinke o'th at ?

Ba.

What doe you thinke ?

Bo. Excellently well followed by my troth la , Hee le pitch the barre well , I warrant , he does So follow his kicke . Ba.

Let it goe round .

Bo.

Good , right as my legge againe .

Lo.

Your legge , t was hee that kickt you .

Bo.

D ee thinke I doe not feele it ?

Lo.

Why d ee not use your toes then ?

Bo. What for a merry touch , A tricke , a turne upon the toe , d ee heare sir Y are good company , but if thou lovest me . Ba. Love you ? why d ee heare sir , I , I , What a poxe should any man see in you , Once to thinke on you ? love a squirte ? Shall I tell thee what thou art good for ? Bo.

I .

Ba.

For nothing .

Bo.

Good againe , my Lord observe him , for nothing .

Ba. Yes thou wot stop a breach in a mudde wall , Or serve for a Priapus in the garden to Fright away crowes , and keepe the corne , beane shatter , Thou wot . Bo.

Ha ha ha .

Ba. Or thou wot serve at shrove tide to ha thy legges Broken with penny trounchens in the streete , T is pitty any Cocke should stand the pelting , And such a Capon unpreferr'd . Bo.

Ha ha ha .

Ba. Cry mercy y' are a kinsman to the Lord , A Gentleman of high and mighty blood . Lo.

But cold enough , wonot all this provoke him ?

Ba. Dost heare ? for all this I will undertake To thrash a better man out of a wench . That travells with her butter milke to market Betweene two dorsers , any day o th' weeke , My twice sod taile of greene fish , I will do 't Or loose , my inheritance , tell me , and doe not stammer , When wert thou cudgell'd last ? what woman beate thee ? Bo.

Excellent Barker .

Ba. Thou art the towne top , A boy will set thee up , and make thee spinne Home with an Eeleskinne , do not marry , doe not , Thy wife will coddle thee , and serve thee up In plates with Sugar and Rose water to Him that had the grace to cuckold thee ; And if Pythagoras transmigration Of soules were true , thy spirit should be tenant To a horse . Bo.

Why to a horse ?

Ba. A switch and spurre would doe some good upon you , Why dost thou enterfare , get the grincomes , goe , And straddle like a gentleman that wod Not shame his kindred , but what doe I Lose time with such a puppie ? Bo. Well , goe thy wayes I le justifie thy wit At my owne perill . Ba. I would speake with you , Be not too busie with your Lordships legges , I le tell you somewhat . Lo.

Speake to th' purpose then .

Ba. I bestow'd A visite on the Ladies which you wot on , They have their wits still , and resolve to keepe 'em , They wonot hang themselves for a young Lord , Nor grow into consumption , other men Have eyes , and nose , and lippes , and hansome legges too : So fare you well Lord , my I left your kicke With your cosin buy buy otter . Exit . Lo. Very well . But harke you cosin Bostocke , you have a minde And modest constitution , I expected You wod have lifted up your legge . Bo. To kicke him , Why , and you wod ha given a thousand pound , I could not do 't for laughing , beside , He was your friend my Lord . Lo. Did you spare him For that consideration ? Bo. Howsoever , What honour had it beene for me to quarrell ? Or wit indeede , if every man should take All the abuses that are meant , great men Would be laughed at , some fooles must ha their jests , Had he beene any man of blood or valour , One that profes'd the sword , such as the Coronell , Lesse provocation would ha made me active . Enter Sr. Ambrose , and Sr. Marmaduke . Lo. The Eagles takes no Flies , is that it , how now Sir Ambrose , and my honor'd friend Sr. Marmaduke ? You are strangers . Ma.

Your Lordships pardon , Mr. Bostocke .

Bo.

Now shall I be put too 't , this taking will undoe me ?

Lo.

Prethee tell me ? is the Coronell alive still ?

Am.

Alive my Lord , yes yes , hee 's alive .

Bo.

Did your Lordship thinke absolutely he was dead ?

Lo.

But he is shrewdly wounded .

Am. No my Lord , He is very well , but t was your kinsemans fortune . Bo.

Prethee nere speake on 't .

Lo.

What ?

Ma.

To have a blow , a boxe o th' eare .

Lo.

How ?

Ma.

With his fist , and an indifferent round one .

Bo. Yes , yes he did strike me , I could ha told you that , But wherefore did he strike , aske 'em that . Ma. If you would know my Lord , he was our orator To raile upon the Lady for abusing us , Which I confesse he did with lung and spirit , Which in the conclusion , the Coronell Stroke him to th' ground . Bo.

He did so t is a truth .

Lo.

And did you take it ?

Bo. Take it : he gave it me my Lord , I asked not for it . But t is not yet reveng'd . Am.

T is truth we suffer'd

A little , but the place protected him . Bo.

It was no place indeed .

Ma. Now since you had the greatest burden in The affront . Bo.

The blow ?

Ma. Right , wo wod know whether your resolution Be first , to question him , for our cause appeares Subordinate , and may take breath till you Ha call'd him to account . Bo. I proclaime nothing , And make no doubt the Coronell will give me Satisfaction like a Gentleman . Am.

We are answer'd , and take our leave my Lord .

Lo.

We shall meete at the Ball anon gentlemen .

Ma.

Your Lordships servants : now to our designe . Exeunt .

Bo.

My Lord I take my leave too .

Lo.

Not yet cosin , you and I ha not done .

Bo.

What you please cosin .

Lo.

You have cosen'd me too much .

Bo.

I my good Lord ?

Lo. Thou most unheard of coward , How dare you bost relation to me ? Be so impudent as to name , or thinke upon me , Thou staine to honour , honour ? th' art beneath All the degrees of basenesse : quit thy father , Thy suppos'd one , and with sufficient testimony , Some Servingman leapt thy mother , or some Iuggler That conjures with old bones , some womans tailor , When he brought home her petticoate , and tooke measure Of her lose body , or I le cullice thee With a bottome . Bo.

Good my Lord .

Lo. Be so baffoul'd ? In presence of your Mistresse , t is enough To make the blood of all thou knowest suspected , And I le ha satisfaction . Bo.

My Lord .

Lo. For using of my name in Ordinaries , I th' list of other whom you make your priviledge , To dominere , and winne applause sometimes With Tapsters , and thread-beare Tobacco Merchants , That worship your gold lace , and ignorance Stand bare , and bend their hammes , when you belch out My Lord , and tother cosin in a Baudihouse , Whom with a noyse you curse by Iacke and Tom , For failing you at Fishstreete , or the Still-yard . Bo.

My very good Lord .

Lo.

Will you not draw ?

Bo.

Not against your honour , but you shall see .

Lo. And vexe my eyes to looke on such a Land-rat , Were all these shames forgotten , how shall I Be safe in honour with that noble Lady , To whom I sinne fully commended thee , Though t were not much , enough to make her thinke I am as base as thou art , and the Coronell , And all that have but heard thee call me cosin , What cure for this you Malt-worme ? oh my soule How it does blush to know thee , bragging puppie , D ee heare me thunder , and lightning , what Nobilitie my predecessors bosted , Or any man from honours stocke descended ; How many Marquesses and Earles are numbred In their great family ? what coates they quarter , How many battells our forefathers fought ? T is poore , and not becomming perfect gentry To build their glories at their fathers cost , But at their owne expense of blood or vertue , To raise them living monuments , our birth Is not our owne act , honour upon trust , Our ill deedes forfeit , and the wealthy summes Purchas'st by others fame or sweate , will be Our staine , for we inherit nothing truely But what our actions make us worthy of ; And are you not a precious gentleman , Thou art not worth my steele , redeeme this love Some generous way of undertaking , or Thou shalt be given up to boyes , and ballets , The scorne of footeman , a disgrace more blacke Than bastard , goe to the Coronell . Bo.

I will my Lord .

Lo. But now I thinke on t t will be necessarie , That first you right my honour with the Lady , You shall carry a letter , you will do 't ? Bo.

I le carry any thing .

Lo.

Expect it presently . Exit

Bo. Such another conjuring will make me Beleeve I am illigitimate indeede , This came first keeping company with the blades , From whom I learnt to roare and runne away : I know t is a base thing to be a coward , But every man is not borne to be a Hercules , Some must be beate that others may be valiant . Exit . Enter Rosomond , and Honoria whispering , Sr. Marmaduke , and Sr. Ambrose following . Ro.

Let it be so , they will else be troublesome .

Ma. This cannot I hope displease you Lady , t is No new affection I protest , although This be the first occasion I tooke To expresse it . Ro. You did ill in the impression , Although your bashfulnesse would not permit you To speake in your owne cause , you might have sent Your meaning , I can make a shift to read A scurvie hand , but I shall tell you sir . Ma.

Prethee doe .

Ho. I st possible your heart hath beene tormented In loves flame , and I the cause . Am. Your beauty hath the power To melt a Cithians bosome , those divine Beames would make soft the earth , when rugged Winter Hath seal'd the cranies up with frost , your eye Will make the frigid region temperate , Should you but smile upon 't : account it then No wonder if it turne my brest to ashes . Ro. I see you are in love by your mention , And cause I pitty a gentleman should lose His passion I le acquaint you with a secret . Ma.

The Lady Honoria ?

Ro. What misfortune t was You did not first apply your selfe to her That can reward your love , and hath a heart Spacious to entertaine you ; she does love you Vpon my knowledge strangely , and so Commends you in your absence . Ma. Say you so Lady ? Pardon I beseech you the affection I profest to your Ladiship , t was but A complement , I am sorry I protest . Ro. Oh t is excus'd sir , but I must tell you , Perhaps you wonot finde her now so tractable Vpon the apprehension she was slighted ; But to prescribe you confidence were to Suspect your art , and bold discretion . Ho. T is as I tell you sir , no Lady in The world can speake more praises of your body ? Shee knowes not yet your minde . Am.

I st possible ?

Ho. And yet because she saw your complements Directed so unhappily to me , I know not how you le finde her on the sudden , But t is not halfe an houre since you possest The first place in her thoughts . Am. Shall I presume , You will excuse the love I did present Your Ladiship ? it was not from my heart , I hope you will conceive so . Ho.

A slight error .

Am.

I am a sham'd on 't .

Ho. T is sufficient That you recant no more neglect . Ro.

You are pleasant .

Am. Be you so too ; I le justifie thou shalt Have cause . Ro.

To wonder at you , what s your meaning sir ?

Am. Sweete Lady , What thoughts make sad your brow ? I have observ'd Your eyes shoote clearer light . Ro. You are deceiv'd , I am not melancholy . Am. Be for ever banish'd The imagination of what can happen To cloud so rare a beautie , y' are in love . Ro.

In love , who told you so ?

Am. But that s no wonder , We all may love , but you have onely power To conquer where you place affection , and triumph ore your wishes . Ho. I love you , y' are strangely sir mistaken , Put your devices on some other Lady , I ha beene so farre from my affection to you , That I ha laboured I confesse to unsettle The opinion of my Lady Rosomond , Who I confesse loves you , and that extreamely . Mar.

How ? she love me ? then I ha made fine worke .

Ho. What cunning shee is mistresse of to hide Her strange affections , or what power she has , She does flie into your armes I know not . Ro. Are you so dull ? Why , this was but to try your constancie , I have heard her sweare you are the proprest Knight , The very Adonis : why , she has got your picture And made it the onely saint within her closet , I blush at your credulitie . Am. I st e'ne so ? I have undone my selfe with her already , Pardon me gentle Madam , I must leave you . Ro.

With all my heart .

Ho. We are reliev'd , Enter Mounsieur . Mounsieur Le Friske . Moun. Tres humbla serviter Madam , Me sweate with de hast to waite upon your Ladiships ; I pray give me do leve dispatch presently , For I must figaries to be done . Ro. Gentlemen let your passions breath a while , A little musicke may correct the errour , And you may finde your selves . Moun.

Aller .

Am. With all my heart Sr. Marmaduke le ts helpe To exercise the Ladies . Ma.

A good motion .

Moun. And begar noting in de world mor profet Your body den de motion all a more de France . Ma.

I am for any friske .

Moun. Ha de friske you jumpe upon my name , and Begar you have my nature to de right , hey , and All de world is but friske . Ho.

A Country dance then .

Moun. Hah , Mounsieur Madam aller , They Dance . Forboone , tres excellent begar , so I crave your patience Madam , gentlemen , you be at de Ball , mofoy you See dat was never in dis world . Ro.

What Mounsieur ?

Moun. What doe you thinke dat is , me tell you , begar You see me play de part of de Cupid . Ho.

A French Cupid .

Moun. Begar French Cupid , why ? dere is no love like De French love , dat is Cupid , love is hot , and de French is hot Ro.

How comes it to passe that you are to play Cupid Moun .

Mo. My Lord give me command me have device , & de masque For de Ladies , and me no trust little Iacknape to play Young Cupid but my selfe . Ho.

Cupid is a childe , you have a beard Mounsieur .

Mo. Me care not de haire for dat , begar de little god may have De little beard , Venus his moder have de mole , and Cupid Her shild may have the blacke mussell . Ho. But Mounsieur , we read Cupid was faire , and You are blacke , how will that agree ? Mo. Cupid is faire , and Mounsieur is blacke , why Mounsieur Is blacke den , and Cupid is faire , what is dat ? a faire Lady love de servant of the blacke Complexion de ban eur , the colour is not de mush , Vulcan was de blacke Smith , and Cupid may be de Blacke gentleman his sonne legitimate . Am.

T is de way to make Cupid the boy no bastard .

Mo. But doe you no publish this invention , me meete you At de Ball armed with quiver , and de bow . Ho.

You wonot shoote us , I hope you le spare our hearts .

Mo. Begar me shit you if me can , and your arts shall Bleed one , two , tree , gallowne adieu Madame Serviter gentlemen tresemble . Am. Adieu Mounsieur , now Madam with your favour , I must renew my suite . Ho. Yad better buy a new one , Nay then we shall be troubled . Exit . Am. You le withdraw , I le follow you . Ma.

Come , come I know you love me .

Ro. You may enlarge your folly my deare knight , But I have pardoned you for love already . Ma. This shannot serve your turne , I came hither Not to be jeered , and one of you shall love me . Exit . Enter Bostocke , Lady Lucina and Scutilla . Luc.

Oh impudence dares he returne .

Scu.

It seemes so .

Bo. Most gracious Madam , my cosin your Lord Loveall Commends himselfe in blacke and white . Luc.

To me ?

Bo.

D ee thinke t is from my selfe .

Scu. You might ha dont in blacke and blew . Bo. Scutilla how does thy poore soule , thou Hast no husband nor children to commend me to . Scu. The poore soule 's well , I hope your body is Recover'd , dos not your left cheeke burne still , We ha so talkt on you ? Luc. I am sorry any gentleman that has relation to me should Be so forgetfull of your honor , & his own , but though he have Forfited opinion , let me continue innocent in your thoughts ? I have sent you a small jewell to expiate my offence for Commending him , I expect your Ladiship at the Ball , Where you shall make many happie to kisse your hand , And in their number the true admirer of your vertue , My Lord is honourable . Bo.

A slight jewell Madam . Loveall .

Luc.

I am his servant .

Bo. Nay faith my Lord is right , I ha not met The Coronell since you know when . Sc.

You ha more reason to remember .

Bo.

I would be so bold to aske you a question .

Luc. In the meane time give me leave , we are none But friends , I know y' are valliant . Bo.

No , no , you doe not know 't , but I know my selfe .

Scu.

That s more .

Luc.

But will you answer me ? why did not you strike him agen ?

Scu.

That might ha caus'd blood .

Bo.

Y' are i th right .

Luc.

You did not feare him .

Bo. But blood are not a like , termes were not even , If I had kill'd him there had beene an end . Luc.

Of him .

Bo. Right Madam , but if he had wounded me , He might ha kill'd , heaven knowes how many . Scu.

Strange ?

Bo. D' ee not conceive it ? so many drops of mine , So many gentlemen , nay more , who knowes Which of these might ha beene a Knight , a Lord . Luc.

Perhaps a Prince .

Bo. Princes came from the blood , And should I hazard such a severation Against a single life , t is not I feare To fight with him by these hills , but what wise gamester Will venture a hundred pound to a flaw'd sixe pence ? Scu.

Madam , the Coronell .

Bo. And he were ten Coronells , I le not endure his company , Sweete Lady , you and I le retire . Scu.

And were lesse honourable .

Bo.

He should not seeke me then .

Sc.

He should rather hardly find you , I me your servant . exit

Enter Coronell . Luc. I was wishing for you sir , Your judgement of these Diamonds . Co.

The stones are pretty .

Luc. They were a Lords , sent me for a token , You cannot chuse but know him , the Lord Loveall . Co.

So , so , so , I am like to speede .

Luc.

Is not he a pretty gentleman ?

Co.

And you are sure hee 's honest ?

Luc. As Lords goe now adayes that are In fashion ; But cry you mercy , you ha put me in minde , I did propound a businesse to you sir . Co.

And I came prepar'd to answer you .

Luc.

T is very well , I le call one to be a witnesse .

Co. That was not I remember in our Covenant , You shannot neede . Luc.

I le fetch you a booke to sware by ▪

Co. Let it be Venus and Adonis then , Or Ovids wanton Elieges , Aristotles Problemes , Guy of Warwicke , or Sr. Beavis , Or if there be a Play Booke you Love better , I le take my oath upon your Epilogue . Luc.

Y' are very merry , well , sweare how you please .

Co. In good time , You doe expect now I should sweare I me honest ? Luc. Yes sir , and t is no hard condition , If you reflect upon my promise . Co.

What ?

Luc. To marry you , which act must make you Lord Of me and my estate , a round possession , Some men have gone to hell for a lesse matter . Co. But I wonot be damn'd for twenty thousand Such as you are , and every one a million , And I the authoritie of a Parliament To marry wo' yee all , I wod not buy This flesh now I ha sworne . Luc. I thinke so Coronell , Blesse me ? twenty thousand wives , t wo'd nere Come to my turne , and you 'd not live to give The tithe benevolence . Co.

They would finde Pages , fooles , or Gentlemen-Vshers .

Luc. Then upon the matter , You being not willing sir to take your oath , I may be confident you are not honest . Co. Why looke upon me Lady , and consider With some discretion what part about me Does looke so tame you should suspect me honest , How old d ee thinke I am ? Luc.

I guesse at thirty .

Co. Some i th' world doubted me not so much , At thirteene I was ever plumpe and forward , My drie Nurse swore at seven , I kist like one Of five and twenty , setting that a side , What s my profession ? Luc.

A Souldier

Co. So examine a whole army , and finde one Souldier that hates a hansome woman , we cannot march Without our bagge and baggages , and is it possible , When we come home where womens pride , and all Temptation to wantonesse abounds We should lose our activitie ? Lu.

You souldiers are brave fellowes .

Co. When we have our pay , We vow no chastitie till we marry , Lady T is out of fashion indeede with gentlemen To be honest , and of age together t is sufficient , We can provide to take our pleasures too , Without infection , a sound body is A treasure I can tell you , yet if that Would satisfy you , I should make no scruple To sweare , but otherwise you must pardon us As we must pardon you . Luc.

Vs sir .

Co. Yes you , as if you Ladies had not your fagaries , And martiall discipline , as well as we , Your outworkes , and redoubts , your court of guard , Your centries , and perdues , sallies , retreates , Pasties , and stratagems , women are all honest , Yes , yes , exceeding honest ; let me aske you One question , I le not put you to your oath , I doe allow you Hide-Parke , and Spring-Garden , You have a recreation called the Ball , A device transported hither by some Ladies That affect Tenice , what d ee play a set ? There s a foule racket kept under the line , Strange words are bandied , and strange revells Madam . Luc.

The world imagines so .

Co.

Nay , y' are all talk'd of .

Luc. But if men had no more wit , and honesty , They wod let fall their stings on something else , This is discours'd , but when Corantaes faile , Or newes at ordinaries , when the phlegmaticke Dutch Ha tane no Fisher-boates , or our Cole-ships land Safe at New-Castle , y' are fine gentlemen , But to conclude of that we met for your honesty , Not justified by an oath , as I expected , Is now suspended , will you sweare yet . Co. Why , I thought you had beene a Christian ? widdow Have I not told you enough , you may meete one Will forfeit his conscience , and please you better , Some Silke-worme o th' Cittie , or the Court , There be enough will sweare away their soule For your estate , but I have no such purpose , The warres will last I hope . Luc. So so , Scutilla . Enter Scutilla . You were present when I promis'd the Coronell , To be his wife upon condition . He could secure my opinion by his oath , That he was honest , I am bound in honour Not to goe backe , y ave done it , I am yours sir , Be you a witnesse to this solemne contract . Co.

Are you in earnest Lady , I ha not sworne .

Luc. You have given better truth , He that can make this conscience of an oath Assures his honesty . Co.

In minde .

Luc. What s past I question not , if for the time to come Your love be vertuous to me . Co. Most religious , Or let me live the Souldiers dishonour , And die the scorne of gentlemen , I ha not Space enough in my heart to entertaine thee . Luc.

Is not this better than swearing ?

Co.

I confesse it .

Luc.

Now I may call you husband ?

Co.

No title can more honour me .

Luc.

If please you I le shew you then my children .

Co.

How , your children ?

Luc.

I ha sixe that call me mother .

Co.

Hast , faith ?

Luc. The elder may want softnesse to acknowledge you , But some are young enough , and may be counsell'd To aske your blessing , does this trouble you ? Co. Trouble me ? no , but it is the first newes Lady Of any children . Luc. Nay , they are not like To be a burden to us , they must trust To their owne portions left 'em by their father . Co.

Where .

Luc. But of my estate , I cannot keepe Any thing from 'em , and I know you are So honest , you 'd not wish me wrong the Orphans , T is but sixe thousand pound in money Coronell Among them all , beside some trifling plate And jewels worth a thousand more . Co.

No more ?

Luc. My Ioynture will be firme to us , two hundred Per annum . Co. Is it so ? and that will keepe A Country house , some halfe a dozen Cowes , We shall ha cheese and butter-milke , one horse Will serve me , and your man to ride to markets . Luc.

Canst be content to live i th' country Coronell ?

Co. And watch the Pease , looke to the Hay , and talke Of Oates and Stubble , I ha beene brought up too 't , And for a need can thrash . Luc.

That will save somewhat .

Co. I th yeere , beside my skill in farrowing pigs , Oh t is a holsome thing to hold the plough , And wade up to the calfe i th' dirty furrowes , Worse than sleeping in a trench , or quagmire , You ha not heard me whistle yet . Luc.

No indeede .

Co. Why ? there s it , shee does counterfeit , well Lady , Be you in jeast or earnest , this is my Resolution I le marry you , and y 'ad forty children , And not a foote of land to your Ioynture , heaven Will provide for , and we doe our endeavours , Where be the children , come how many boyes . Luc.

As many as can get sir .

Co.

How ?

Luc. No more . Since y' are so noble , know I tried your patience , And now I am confirm'd , my estate is yours Without the weight of children or of debts , Love me , and I repent not . Co. Saist thou so ? I wod we had a Priest here . Luc.

There remaines to take away one scruple .

Co.

Another gincracke .

Luc. I have none , t is your doubt sir , And ere we marry you shall be convinc'd Some mallice has corrupted your opinion Of that we call the Ball . Co.

Your dancing businesse .

Luc. I will intreate your company to night , Where your owne eyes shall leade you to accuse Or vindicate our fames . Co.

With all my heart .

Scu. Madam , Mr. Bostocke Expects within . Luc.

You shall be reconcil'd to him .

Co. With Bostocke willingly , then toth Ball , Which for your sake I dare not now suspect , Where union of hearts such Empire brings , Subjects methings are crown'd as we as Kings . Exeunt .

Actus Quintus . Enter Mounsieur and servants with perfume . Moun. BOne for bone here a little , dere a little more , my Lord hire dis house of the citie Merchent , begar It smell musty , and he will have all sweete for de Ladies , perfume , perfume every corner presently For dere is purpose to make all smoke anon Begar ; Enter Lady Rosomond and Honoria . Treshumble serviter Madam . Ho.

Where is my Lord ?

Moun.

Hee waite on you presently Mounsieur de Freshwater .

Fr. Mounsieur Le Friske these Ladies were pleas'd To command my attendance hither . Moun. Welcome to de Ball , par ma foy You pardon Mounsieur , I have much trouble In my little head , I can no stay to Complement , a vostre service . Exit . Fre. In all my travells , I have not seene a more Convenient Structure . Ro. Now you talke of your travells Signior , till my Lord Come you shall doe us a speciall favour to Discourse what passages you ha seene abroad . Ho.

Were you ever abroad before Signior .

Fre. I hardly ever was at home , and yet All countries lost wiseman are his owne ? Did you never travell Ladies , Ro. We are no Ladies errant , t is enough For such as you , that looke for State employment . Fre. Yet there be Ladies ha your languages , And married to great men prove the better Statesmen . Ro.

We have heard talke of many countries .

Fre. And you may heare talke , but give me the man That has measur'd 'em , talkes but talke . Ho.

Have you seene a fairer Citie than London ?

Fre.

London is nothing .

Ro.

How nothing ?

Fre.

To what it will be a hundred yeares hence .

Ro.

I have heard much talke of Paris .

Ho.

You have beene there I me sure . Enter Lord .

Fre. I tell you Madame , I tooke shipping at Gravesend , and had no sooner past The Cantons , and Grissons , making some stay In the Valtoline , but I came to Paris a pretty Hamlet , and much in the scituation like Dunstable , T is in the Province of Alcontora , some three leagues Distant from Civill , from whence we have our Oringes . Lo.

Is the fellow mad ?

Ro.

I have heard Civill is in Spaine .

Fre. You may heare many things , The people are ciuill that live in Spaine , or there May be one towne like another , but if Civill Be not in France , I was never at Civill in my life . Ho.

Proceede Sir .

Fre. Doe not I know Paris , it was built by the yongest Son Of King Priam , and was call'd by his name , yet some Call it Lutetia , because the gentlewomen there Play so well upon the Lute . Lo.

What a Rascall is this ?

Fr. Here I observ'd many remarkeable buildings , as the Vniversitie , which some call the Loure , where the Students made very much of me , and carried me To the Beare-garden , where I saw a play on the Banke-side , a very pretty Comedy call'd Martheme , In London . Ro.

I st possible ?

Fre. But there be no such Comedians as we have here , Yet the women are the best Actors , they play Their owne parts , a thing much desir'd in England By some Ladies , Innes a Court Gentlemen , and others , But that by the way . Ho.

See Sir .

Fre. I had staid longer there , but I was offended with a Villanous sent of Onions , which the winde brought from St. Omers . Ro.

Onions wod make you sleepe well .

Fre. But the sent t is not to be endured , I smelt On 'em when I came to Rome , and hardly scap'd the Inquisition for t . Ho.

Were you at Rome too Signior .

Fre. T is in my way to Venice , I le tell you Madam I was very Loth to leave their country . Ro.

Which Country ?

Fre.

Where was I last ?

Ho.

In France .

Fre. Right , for I had a very good Inne , where mine Host Was a notable good fellow , and a Cardinall . Ro.

How a Cardinall , oh impudence .

Fr. Oh the catches we sang , and his wife a pretty woman , And one that warmes a bed one o th' best in Europe . Ho.

Did you ever heare the like .

Ro.

I did before suspect him .

Fr.

But mine Host .

Ho.

The Cardinall .

Fr. Right , had a shrew'd pate , and his eares were something O' th longest , for one upon the oath of a w — Walloune that — from Spaine to the Low - Countries , and the other from Lapland into Germany . Ro.

Say you so ?

Fr. A parlous head , and yet loving to his guests , As mine host Bankes , as red in the gills , and as merry A — but anger him , and hee sets all Christendome Together by the eares , well shortly after I left France , and sayling along the Alpes , I came to Lombardy , where I left my cloke , for it was very Hot travelling , and went a Pilgrim to Rome Where I saw the Tombs , and a Play in Pompeys Theater , here I was kindely entertain'd by an anchorite , In whose chamber I lay , and drinke Cider . Lo.

Nay , now he is desperate .

Ho.

Doe not interrupt him .

Fre. What should I trouble you with many stories ? from hence I went to Naples , a soft kinde of people , and cloth'd In silke , from thence I went to Florence from whence we Have the art of working custards , which we call Florentines , Millan a rich state of Haberdashers , Permount , where I had excellent Venison , And Padua , famous for the pads , or easie saddles Which our physitions ride upon , and first brought from Thence when they commenst Doctor . Ro.

Very good .

Fr. I see little in Mantua , beside dancing upon the ropes , Onely their strong beere , better than any I Ever drunke at the Trumpet , but Venice of all The Champion Countries , do not mistake they are the Valiantest gentlemen under the Sunne . Ro.

Is that it ?

Fr.

O the Catazaners we turn'd there .

Ho.

Who was wee yee ?

Fr. Two or three magnifico's grandees of the State , We tickled 'em in the very Pialto , by the same Token two or three English spies told us they had laine Leger three moneths to steale away the Piatzo , and ship It for Covent . Garden , a pretty fabricke and building Vpon the — but I was compell'd to make Short stay here by reason of the Dukes Concubines Fell in love wee me , gave me a ring of his , out of A solide Diamonde , which afterwards I lost washing my Hands in the salt water . Ho. You should ha fish'd for t , and as good lucke as She that found her wedding ring in the Haddocks belly . Fr. No , there was no staying , I tooke post presently For Genoa , and from thence to Madrill , and so to The Netherlands . Ro.

And how sped you among the Dutch ?

Fr. Why , we were drunk every day together , they get their Living by it . Ho.

By drinking ?

Fr. And making bargaines in their tippling , The Iewes are innocent , nay the devill himselfe Is but a Dunce to 'em , of whose trade they are . Ho.

What s that ?

Fr. They fish , they fish still , who can helpe it , they Have nets enough , and may catch the Province In time then let the Kingdomes looke about 'em , They can't be idle , and they have one advantage Of all the world , they le ha no conscience to trouble 'Em , I heard in whispered they want butter , they have A Designe to charme the Indies , and remove their Darie , but that as a secret , shall goe no further ; I caught a surfet of Bore in Holland , upon my Recovery I went to Flushing , where I met with a hansome Froe , with whom I went to Middleborough , by the — And lest her drunke at Roterdam , there I tooke Shipping againe for France , from thence to Dover , From Dover to Gravesend , from Gravesend to Queene - Hive , and from thence to what I am come to . Lo.

And noble Signior you are very welcome .

Fr.

I hope he did not over-heare me .

Lo.

I am much honor'd Ladies in your presence .

Fr. Absence had beene a sinne my Lord where you Were pleas'd to invite . Enter Mounsieur . Moun.

Fie , fie , my Lord give me one eare .

He whispers with my Lord . Lo.

Interrupt me no more good Moursieur .

Fr. Mounsieur La Friske , a word , a word , I beseech you , No excuser moy . Exit Fresh . and Moun. Lo. Have you thought Ladies of your absent servant ? Within whose heart the civill warre of love , Ro.

May end in a soft peace .

Lo.

Excellent , Lady .

Ho.

We had armies too my Lord , of wounded thoughts .

Lo. And are you agreed to which I must devote My loving service , and which is wisest , fairest , Is it concluded yet ? Ho. You did propound A hard Province , and we could not Determine as you expected , but if Your flame be not extinct , we have devis'd Another way . Lo. You make my ambition happy , And indeede I was thinking t was impossible That two such beauties should give place to either , And I am still that humble notary To both your loves . Ro. Then this we have made lots , That what we cannot , fate may soone divide , And we are fixt to obey our destinie , There is but two , one and your wishes guide you . Lo.

And will you satisfie my chance .

Ho. We should Be else unjust . Lo.

What method shall we use ?

Ro. Your hat my Lord , If you vouchsafe the favour ? Ho.

Dare you expose your head to the ayre so long ?

Lo.

Most willingly put in .

Ro.

There is Fortune ▪

Ho.

That draw which quickly tell how much I love you .

Lo. So , so now let me see , I commend your device , Since I am uncapable of both , This is a way indeede , but your favour . Ro.

Le ts have faire play my Lord .

Lo. What foole is he ? That having the choise of Mistresses will be Confinde to one , and rob himselfe , I am yet The favorite of both these , is no policy , I could make shift with both abed . Ro.

You are merry ?

Lo. In troth , and so I am , and in the minde I am in , will give my selfe no cause to th' contrary , D ee see ? I le draw you both . Ho. How ? both . You cannot otherwise be reconcil'd , I le be content to marry one , and doe Service to th' others peticote , I must tell you , I am not without president . Ho.

There you triumph .

Lo. Within the name of Venus , — ha a blanke , By this light nothing , neither name nor marke . Both .

Ha , ha , ha .

Lo.

This is a riddle yet .

Ro. T is quickly solv'd , Your Lordship was too confident , We never were at such a losse my Lord , As with the hazard of our wit or honour To court you with so desperate affection . Ho. By our example know , some Ladies may Commend , nay love a gentleman , and yet Be safe in their owne thoughts , and see as farre As modesty , and honour will allow us , We are still servants to your Lordship , Lo. Say so ? why looke you Ladies that you may perceive , How I can be temperate too ; first , I thanke you Heartily , and to recompence your wit ; Present another Lottery , you shannot Suspect I have a thought that will betray Your innocence to scandall , let me intreate You take your chance too , this for you Madam , And this is left your fortune , doe me honour To weare these paire of Iewells for my sake , So with a confidence of your happy pardon , To what is past hereafter I shall pay To your true vertues , better service then So unnecessary trialls . Ro. And to shew We are not coy my Lord , wee le weare your Iewell . Lo. And be their ornament . Enter Rainebow , Coronell , Bostoke . Co. All happinesse to your Lordship , Your cruells are not full set noble Ladies . Lo. Your presence will so ne make us active , Madam I was bold . Bo.

She has your Diamond my Lord .

Lo.

And can you pardon ?

Ro. Nay , nay , we are friends , are We not Madam ? Luc.

I were else unmercifull .

Bo.

The Coronell too has given me satisfaction .

Co.

I thinke you had enough .

Bo. As much as I desir'd , and here s my hand , While I can draw a sword command me . Co.

What ?

Bo. To put it up agen , all friends , all friends , A poxe a quarrelling . Co.

I kisse your hand sir .

Bo.

Kisse my hand , kisse my — noble Ladies here .

Co. Why is Musicke silent all this while ? Has it no voyce to bid these Ladies welcome ? A golden Ball descends , Enter Venus and Cupid . Ve. Come Boy now draw thy powerfull Bow , Here are Ladies hearts enough To be transfixt , this meeting is To ruffle Ladies , and to kisse , These are my Orgies , from each eye , A thousand wanton glances flie ; Lords , and Ladies of the Game , Each brest be full of my owne flame : Why shootes not Cupid ? these are all , Met in honour of my Ball , Which Paris gave to Ida hill , I le maintaine these revells still : Why stayes Cupid all this while . Dia.

Venus doth her selfe beguile .

Ven.

Diana here goe backe againe .

Dia. These are none of Venus traine , No sparke of this Lacivious fire , Dwells in their bosomes , no desire , But what doth fill Diana's breast , In their modest thoughts doe rest . Venus this new festivall , Shall be still Diana's Ball : A chaste meeting ever here , Seeke thy votaries other where . Ven. You 're chast indeede , doe not we know , You to your sweete-heart nightly goe , Envying one is not kist , no you On his face but let fall dew ; Some may wonder what doth ayle , Your lippes but kisses made them pale Me thinkes the Moone should blush , Dia. I doe Some times , but t is for such as you : Then hide my selfe within a mist , For shame to see thee clipt and kist . Ven. Draw Cupid , shall thy mother be Brand by a Huntresse , let me see I want one shaft . Cu. Moder not so , You may quickly breake my bow , Here Diana doth command , My Bow is frozen to my hand , Beside , the Ladies breasts are here , Such proofes against my shafts I feare , Each arrow would to our disgrace , Breake , or rebound in my owne face ; Moder , flie hence or you will be , If you le stay , made as chaste as she . Ve. Can her Magicke charme them so , Then t is time that Venus goe To seek her owne more choice delight , Against my will , enjoy this night . Dia. Cupid if you meane to stay , Throw your licensious shafts away , Then you are Love , then be embrac't , Love is welcome while he 's chast ; Now some other straine to show , What pleasures to this night we owe . A Dance . Enter Barker , like a Satyre Dancing . Fre. My Lord , my Ladies , will you see a Monster , I have not met such another in all my travailes . Luc.

What have we here a Satyre .

Bo.

No , t is a dancing Beare .

Lo.

What is the deviso .

Bar. Wonder that a Satyre can Put off wildnesse and turne man , Love , such miracles can doe , But this owes it selfe to you Bright Lady . Ro.

Keepe the goblin from me Gentlemen .

Ba.

You le know me . Omnes , Barker .

Ba. No more , the Cynicke , I protest You have converted me . Ro.

Your meaning Sir .

Ba. I am the man you did incourage Madam To learne to dance , I shall doe better shortly , Your love will perfect me , and make me soft , And smooth as any Reveller . Ro. Ha , ha , ha , my Love , I am not mad to love a Satyre , For that 's thy best condition , judgement all , How scurvily this civility shewes in him . Faith raile , and keepe your humour , still it shewes excellent , Does he not become the beast , The Lords allow you pension . Omnes ,

Ha , ha , ha .

Ba. You are a Witch , I le justifie it , and there is not One honest thought among the whole Sex of you , D ee laugh , loose witted Ladies , there are not In hell such furies , that 's a comfort yet To him that shall goe thither , he shall have Lesse torment after death then he findes here . Lo.

Why Barker ?

Ba. Your wit has got the squirte too , I le traduce Your Ball for this , and if there be a post , That dares write mischiefe , looke to be worse Then executed . Exit . Lo. He will come to himselfe agen , when he hath purg'd Freshwater . Enter Sir Stephen , and Sir Lionell . Ste.

Madam your servants begge this favour from you .

Ro.

What is t ?

Ste. That since your resolutions will admit No change of hearts you will not publish how We ha beene jeer'd . Ro.

Not jeer'd , but you came on so desperate .

Ho. We love our owne when we preserve , Gentlemens honour . Co.

Then le ts tosse the Ball .

Lo.

Signior Freshwater ,

Fr.

Mercy and silence as you are honourable .

Lo.

May it concerne these gentlemen .

Fr. Why if I must gentlemen , you imagine I ha beene At Venice , but I staid at Gravesend All this Summer expecting a winde , and finding it So uncertaine , will deferre the voyage till the Spring , I am not the first whom the windes , and seas have crost . Ste.

Then you have crost no Sea ?

Fr. If you please , I le require But my principall , and for your good company , I le stay at home for good , and all to be merry . Lo. Nay , nay , you shall goe your voyage , We wod not have you lose the benefit Of travell , when you come home , you may summon Your debters by a drumme , and shewing your bagge Of certificates . Bo. Receive your money when you can get it , and be Knighted . Fr. I thanke you gentlemen , I am in a way now , I have sold my land , and put out my mony To live I see my heart wonot dance to night , I may to Gravesend in the morning , I can be but pickled in salt water , and I le Venture one drowning to be reveng'd Agen , agen , set , set . A Dance . Luc.

What thinke you of all this ?

Co.

To my wishes , an innocent , and generous recreation .

Lo. Ladies and Gentlemen , now a banquet waites you , Be pleas'd to accept , t will give you breath and then , Renew our Revells , and to th' Ball agen . Exeunt Omnes .

FINIS .