A godlie forme of householde gouernment for the ordering of priuate families, according to the direction of Gods word. Whereunto is adioyned in a more particular manner, the seuerall duties of the husband towards his wife: and the wifes dutie towards her husband. The parents dutie towards their children: and the childrens towards their parents. The masters dutie towards his seruants: and also the seruants dutie towards their masters. Gathered by R.C. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A18965 of text S108061 in the English Short Title Catalog (STC 5383). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 601 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 196 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2018 A18965 STC 5383 ESTC S108061 99843750 99843750 8506 2240950418

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 Early English books online text creation partnership. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 2, no. A18965) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 8506) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 317:2) A godlie forme of householde gouernment for the ordering of priuate families, according to the direction of Gods word. Whereunto is adioyned in a more particular manner, the seuerall duties of the husband towards his wife: and the wifes dutie towards her husband. The parents dutie towards their children: and the childrens towards their parents. The masters dutie towards his seruants: and also the seruants dutie towards their masters. Gathered by R.C. Cleaver, Robert, 1561 or 2-ca. 1625, attributed name. Deacon, John, 17th cent, attributed name. Carr, Roger, d. 1612, attributed name. Cawdry, Robert, attributed name. 384 p. Printed by Felix Kingston, for Thomas Man, At London : 1598. Sometimes attributed to Robert Cleaver, to John Deacon, to Roger Carr, and to Robert Cawdry. Running title reads: A godly forme of household gouernment. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. eng Conduct of life -- Early works to 1900. Family -- Early works to 1800. eebo A godlie forme of householde gouernment: for the ordering of priuate families, according to the direction of Gods word. Whereunto is adioyned in a mor [no entry] 1598 392 113516 110 0 0 0 0 0 9.69 B The rate of 9.69 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the B category of texts with fewer than 10 defects per 10,000 words. 2013-08 Assigned for keying and markup 2013-09 Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2013-11 Sampled and proofread 2013-11 Text and markup reviewed and edited 2014-03 Batch review (QC) and XML conversion

A GODLIE FORME OF HOVSEHOLDE GOVERNMENT : FOR THE ORDERING OF PRIVATE FAMILIES , according to the direction of Gods word .

Whereunto is adioyned in a more particular manner , The seuerall duties of the Husband towards his Wife : and the Wifes dutie towards her Husband . The Parents dutie towards their Children : and the Childrens towards their Parents . The Masters dutie towards his Seruants : and also the Seruants dutie towards their Masters .

Gathered by R. C.

ISIDORE .

Thou profitest much when thou readest , if thou practisest that which thou readest .

BARNARDE .

What auaileth it thee to reade often in bookes the holy name of thy Sauiour , except thou studie and endeuour to haue godlinesse in thy behauiour ?

CYPRIAN .

It profiteth a man ( saith he ) nothing at all , to professe vertue in words , and to ouerthrow the trueth in his deeds .

AT LONDON Printed by Felix Kingston , for Thomas Man . 1598.

TO THE RIGHT WORSHIPFVLL MAISTER ROBERT BVRGAINE , OF ROXALL , ONE OF her Maiesties Iustices of peace , in the Countie of Warwicke : to the right Worshipfull Maister Iohn Diue , of Ridlington Parke , in the Countie of Rutland : and to the Worshipfull Maister Edmund Temple , of Temple-hall , in the Countie of Leicester , Esquires , as also to their religious and vertuous wiues , R. C. wisheth with heart and minde , grace from God the father by Iesus Christ , and constancie in the trueth of the Gospell , to the end , and in the end .

HAuing collected and finished this Treatise ensuing , and deuising verie carefully with my selfe to whom I might dedicate the same : at length I resolued , that none were meeter to vndertake the patronage thereof , then some such meetest persons , as did alreadie , ( in some good measure ) practise within their seuerall Charges , the seuerall poynts and duties contained therein , and so would further prosecute those other necessarie parts , which they haue yet in some part pretermitted . Wherevpon , calling to minde the holy exercises daylie vsed and exercised in all your houses : I was moued for two causes , to make you all ioyntly Patrones hereof . First , for that I acknowledge my selfe beholden and indebted vnto you all diuersly , since my first acquaintance with you , & therefore ( least I should deserue the blame of vnthankefulnesse for benefits receiued ) I am bold vnder your names , to offer to the whole Church of God , these my simple collections . Secondly , for that as you are all ioyned and linked in kindred by reason of mariage : so also you are , and haue beene a long time inseperably knit in a zealous & sincere profession of Gods word and religion . And for so much as I may not ( for many respects ) accomplish what good I willingly would : yet least I should be thought to spend the remainder of my yeres in an idle condition , or to hide my tallent in a napkin : I haue been no lesse careful , then willing , to labour otherwaies to doo what I may to glorifie God , and profit his Church . Neither will these my labours be vtterly vnprofitable , if my purpose therein be rightly conferred with the purport of my writings . For such Householders , as pretend to be great protestants , and sound professors of the Gospell , may long inough talke of discipline , and stil complaine of the want of Church-gouernment , but all in vaine , and to no purpose , vnlesse they will begin this most necessary discipline in reforming their own houses , according to the direction handled in this Treatise , and so to suffer the holy religion of God , to take place amongst their families at home , otherwise they shall trauell much , and profit little . For although there bee neuer so good lawes in Cities : neuer so pure order in Churches , yet if maisters of families , do not practise at home catechising , and discipline in their houses , and ioyne their helping hands to Magistrates , and Ministers : they may in trueth , ( but vniustly , as many haue done ) complaine that their children and seruants are disordered , and corrupted abroad , when in trueth , they were disordered , and are still corrupted , and mard at home . And therefore it cannot be , neither is it to be hoped for , that either the father of his children , or the husband of his wife , or the maister of his seruants should looke for that obedience , that reuerence , that faithfulnesse , and that dutifulnesse , which they of right ought to haue , and the other in conscience , and of bounden dutie are bound to performe , vnlesse they do now at length endeuour to see these orders and duties hereafter mentioned , to bee practised within their seueral Households . For if Parents and Householders shal performe no further dutie to their children and seruants , then to prouide for them , meat , drinke , and apparell , and to pay them their wages : then Papists , Atheists , yea , Turkes , and Infidels , do yeelde this dutie as well as they . And seeing all men be carefull , that their horses and bullocks , should haue sufficient fodder and prouender , to the end they may haue their labour in lieu and recompence thereof , it doth consequently follow , that therefore a christian Householder ought to haue ouer his children and seruants , a much more christian care , then he hath ouer his dumbe & insensible beasts , that so he may take a singular comfort from the daylie contemplation of their encrease in spirituall graces . Oh what a sweete and comfortable thing shall this be to the soule and conscience of such an Householder , as when he hath been so diligent and carefull in the trayning and bringing vp of his children and seruants , in the obedience and waies of the Lorde , that hee may rightly deserue to haue this worthie report & commendation giuen vnto him , from the mouth and penne of the godly : namely , that he hath a church in his house : that is , a company of sound and faithfull Christians , such as feare God indeed : As the like report was giuen by the Apostle , to those godly House-keepers , Aquilla , and Priscilla his wife : Rom. 16.5 . 1. Cor. 16.19 . As also to Philemon .

Phil. 2. Therefore all Parents and Householders , are ( in the Lorde ) to be exhorted , that they would be carefull to bring vp their children and familie , so as they either ( by some good tokens ) may see them the children of God , and heires of the couenant , or at least , they may be comforted in their owne consciences , notwithstanding their children and seruants ( for some cause vnknowne to them ) do refuse their counsell and instruction , seeing they to the vttermost of their power and abilitie , haue vsed all good meanes to bring them vp well , and haue rightly offered them to the Lord .

Now if parents and maisters haue iust cause to bewaile and lament , when ( thus trauelling in good education and information ) they cannot yet see good effects , and godly fruites , in their children & seruants : how much more cause of griefe may they haue , when they haue vsed and bestowed no labor at all ( either by themselues , or others for them ) to bring them vp in the nurture and feare of the Lord ? And yet , alasse , many will be grieued for the one , that will not be any thing mooued for the other . Wherefore let all parents and maisters of families know , and learne , that if they will conuay God his blessings to their posterities , then they must do , and performe the duties belonging therevnto : yea let them ( if they be loth to conuey God his iudgements to their children ) carefully auoyde the meanes vnto it .

And surely , Luk. 2 . 2● . as it is a blessed thing in the houre of death , with Simeon to depart in peace , leauing their wiues , children and seruants , members of Christ , spouses to Christ , children to God , and seruants to the Lord : so in the extremitie of death , no one thing wil bee more greeuous vnto Parents and Householders , then ( the Lord hauing giuen them the charge of so many soules to be furthered to saluation ) that their own tormented consciences shall presse them , who in as much as they could haue helped their children and seruants forward to their damnation , & so ( which is more fearefull ) they shall haue them spewing and foming out on their faces , continuall curses in hell , accusing them for euer to be murtherers of their soules , and cut throats of their saluation .

Is it any maruell , if Householders many times finde small obedience , and lesse dutifulnesse , and faithfulnesse , at the hands of their children and seruants , seeing they omit and leaue vndone the performance of these so christian duties towards them herein expressed , and inioyned of the Lord ? For so doth God often leaue manifest tokens of his wrath , in punishing disobedience , with disobedience .

How can any maister of a Household , whosoeuer he bee , looke to haue his familie trustie and faithfull vnto him , and yet he himselfe is faithlesse to God ? Doth he maruell , that his children and seruants feare not him , whereas hee himselfe feareth not the Lord ? Will he maintaine his authority ouer those vnder his charge , and he himselfe doth not yeelde obedience vnto the authoritie of God his Creator ?

Moreouer , it is manifest , that the goodman of the house , by planting Gods religion in his familie , shall not a little aduance and set forward his owne priuat profit and commoditie . For wicked and vngodly seruants , are , for the most part , loyterers pickers , and deceitfull : whereas on the other side , godly seruants are iust and faythfull , whom in his absence he may trust to doo such businesse and worke as hee willeth them to doo . Gen. 30.30 . and 39.5 . &c.

If maisters of families be carefull and desirous ( as in conscience they ought ) that their wiues , children & seruants , should reforme themselues , and endeuour to practise such duties as do appertaine and belong vnto them , then they must likewise be diligent and carefull to reforme themselues , both inwardly & outwardly , in such poynts and duties , as hitherto they haue left vndone : otherwise , they may iustly say vnto them : Phisitian , Luk. 4.23 . and 22.32 . Rom. 2.21 . heale your selfe : or , why doe you wil vs to doe that , which you do not practise your selfe ? For as one candle cannot light another , if it selfe be out : euen so a maister of a Household shall not reforme those of his charge , and inflame them with the loue of God and godlinesse , if he himselfe be voyd of the same .

Let euery master of a Household therfore , say and performe with Iosua : I and my familie will serue the Lord : Iosua . 24.15 . And likewise let euery christian ●adie , Mistresse , and Dame , say with Hester : I and my maides will doo the like : Hest. 4.16 . And so no doubt , God will poure his blessings on them , and theirs , in this life , and euerlasting happinesse on them in the life to come .

Touching the booke it selfe , I will not say any thing to the commendation thereof , but onely this : That I am assured , that ( if such duties as are mentioned therein , were dulie and carefully practised of al such as are named in it ) then ( no doubt ) vertue and godly religion would greatly florish , to the aduauncement of God his glory : and also sinne and wickednesse would then decrease and fal downe , to the vtter subuersion and ouerthrow of Sathans kingdome .

This Treatise I confesse is not garnished with eloquence , not full of great cunning , nor beautified with flower : of mans wisedome , neither yet doth it discourse or treate of high or darke things , neither is it stuffed with subtill questions , and arguments : nor indited with Rhetoricall and eloquent stile , as those commonly be , which are propounded and set foorth to the world , rather for boasting , and vaine-glorie sake , then for any desire to edifie , and to do others good . This booke is plaine , The profit of this booke . and without any great gaynesse , but yet so ful of good , necessary , and wholesome instructions , that whosoeuer readeth , and ma●keth it with a right disposed minde , and willing to practise it , without respect to any other thing , then God , the reformation of his life , and the saluation of his owne soule , ( which is the onely marke that christians must leuell at ) hee may reape singular profit thereby .

Good bookes as ladders to climbe vp to heauen . And vndoubtedly it may well bee saide , that vnto true christians , good and holy bookes are as ladders to climbe vp to heauen : as sparkes to kindle the heate of the spirit , when it is quenched , or waxed colde in them , and as proppes to stay vppe their faith , that it may increase .

Praying therefore your worships , to accept of my dutifull good will , and to pardon my boldnesse , I cease to adde any further thing : beseeching God of his endlesse mercy for his Christs sake , to strengthen you still in that good and happie course of his word , and all other good learning : to furnish you all aboundantly , with all spirituall and heauenly knowledge , to the carefull practizing of the same , in the fruites of your most holy and blessed callings , to the aduancement of the glorie of our God , and to your owne euerlasting comfort in Christ Iesus . So be it .

Your worships in all Christian dutifulnesse , most willing . R. C.
A GODLIE FORME OF Household Gouernment , carefully to bee practised of all Christian Householders .

A Householde is as it were a little common wealth , by the good gouernment wherof , Gods glorie may be aduaunced , the common wealth which standeth of seuerall families , benefited , and al that liue in that familie may receiue much comfort and commoditie .

But this gouernment of a familie is not very common in the world , The rule of good gouernment is wisedome . Prou. 24.3.4 . for it is not a thing that men can stumble on by chance , but wisdome must leade vs vnto it . Though wisedome ( saith Salomon ) is an house builded , and with vnderstanding it is established ▪ and by knowledge shall the Chambers thereof bee filled with all precious pleasant riches : that is , shall obtayne all kind of blessings . See also Pro. 28.2 . by which two places it is manifest , that such families as are not ordered by hap-hazard , or as it falles , but by Wisedome , Not carnall wisedome . Discretion , and Counsell , do prosper in inward and outward goods , and indure long . When we speake of Wisedome , we do not meane that this gouernment can be in al points executed by naturall reason and Wisedome : for mans wisedome reacheth but vnto one poynt , and that the least of that , which familie-gouernment tendeth vnto .

But the Wisedome that wee speake of is not naturall , but fetched from the fountaine of all wisedome , But learned out of the word . GOD himselfe , who by his word shineth vnto vs pure light to walke by , not in the Church alone , nor in the publike societie of men onely , but euen within the secret of our owne walles , and toward such as be abiding vnder the same roofe . And if we desire to walke with God , as Enoch did , wee must sette vp this light for our selues to liue by at home : Gen. 5.24 . Psal. 119.3 . For then wee doo no iniquitie , when wee walke in his way . Where no wisedome is vsed in gouerning families , Wisedome is great wealth . Without wisedom whatsoeuer a man taketh in hand , turneth to his owne hurt . there al goeth to wrack , and there many enormities are to bee found , as wofull breaches betweene man and wife , gracelesnesse and vnthriftines of children , lewdnesse of seruants , and foule scapes . And where carnall pollicie ruleth , and not the wisedome which is from aboue , there all that is done tendeth to the ease , pleasure , and profit of this life , which is the end and felicitie of a brute beast , and not of a man .

Now that there is a good kind of gouerning of a familie , which they who follow wisely , may be said to gouerne wel , appeareth out of the first Epistle to Timothie 3. verse . 4 , 5. One that guideth his owne house well , &c. and after , He that knoweth not to gouerne his owne house . &c. Psal. 101.2 . Wherby it is euident , that there is a way or ordering the familie aright , I● is out of doubt that the wise and skilfull gouernment of a house is found out by prudence , is defended by Science , and conserued by experience . and there is a misgouerning of it .

To set downe this good Gouernment exactly , is a hard matter . Heere onely wee will note some things which do appertaine vnto that gouernment which we speake of . And to doo it more orderly to the better vnderstanding , wee must consider , that ( as may also be gathered out of that place of Timothie ) that there are two sortes in euery perfect familie .

1 The Gouernours . Whereof a family consisteth . 2 Those that must be ruled .

And these two sorts haue speciall duties belonging to them , the one sorte towards the other . In the carefull performance whereof , from the one to the other , consisteth the good gouernment of a familie .

The Gouernours of a family , be such as haue authoritie in the familie by Gods ordinance , The first sort are such as haue authoritie in the familie . as the father and mother , master and mistresse .

To whome , as God hath giuen authoritie ouer their Children and seruants , Who must vse their authoritie . If the gouernour be charged with weightie affaires , he may appoynt one to gouerne his house , as Abraham and Putiphat did . Gen. 24 2. & Gen. 59.4 . so hee would haue them to vse it to the wise gouernment of them , not onely for their own priuate profit , credit , or pleasure , but also for the good of those whom they are to gouerne : for by a wise gouernment , much good commeth to the parties gouerned . If maisters then or parents doo not gouerne , but let seruants and children do as they list , they do not onely disobey God , and disaduantage themselues , but also hurt those whome they should rule : for when any haue such libertie to do as they list , it maketh them grow out of order , to the prouoking of Gods displeasure , and curse against themselues , whereas if they had been helde in by the brydle of Gouernement , they might bee brought to walke , so as the blessing of God should follow them in their courses .

A propertie of good gouernment . 1. Timo. 3.4 . All gouernment of a familie must bee in comelinesse or decencie , that is , it must be such as is meete and conuenient both for the gouernour , and for the person gouerned . And therfore it is impossible for a man to vnderstand to gouerne the common wealth , that doth not know to rule his owne house , or order his owne person , so that he that knoweth not to gouerne , deserueth not to raigne .

Lordlinesse is vnmeete in a householde gouernment , and yet familiaritie with such as are vnder gouernment , breedeth contempt . Againe for the persons gouerned , all in the familie are not to be gouerned alike .

There is one rule to gouerne the wife by , another for children , another for seruants . One rule for yong ones , another for old folkes .

The gouernment of a familie tendeth vnto two things especially . First , The markes that family gouernment aymeth at . christian holinesse , and secondlie the things of this life . By the first God is glorified , by the second , this present life is sustained , in such sort as God seeth good for vs .

Howsoeuer , where humane pollicie is the rule of household Gouernment , there men only haue an eye to the things of this life : yet they which fetch their wisedome to rule by out of the word , shall vnderstand , that their gouernment must not onely be ciuill , but righteous also : that is , they must seeke to haue Holinesse found in their habitation , whereby God may be glorified , as wel as riches , whereby they may be comforted . This hath been the course of holy men in former ages .

Abraham flitted often from place to place , Gen. 12 , 78. & 13.18 . & 1● . 33 & 22.9 . yet hee built an Altar wheresoeuer hee became , yea , and trayned vp his familie in the feare of God . Hee did not seeke excuse in his vnsetled estate , to lette passe the care of holinesse . Iob. 1.5 . Holy Iob was not contented to worshippe God himselfe alone , but sanctified his sonnes , that is , prepared them to worshippe God with him . Iacob at his returne from Padam-Aram , purged his familie , Iosu. 24.15 . Hest. 4.16 . Prou. 31.26 . &c. and sette vp Gods worship there , Iosua saith , though others should forsake the Lorde , yet he and his familie would cleaue vnto him , and serue him . The vertuous woman openeth her mouth in wisedome , and teacheth mercie vnto her seruants . Many of the faithfull , when they themselues beleeued in Christ , labored to bring their families to the fayth also . Act. 10. & 16 . 14.15· Ephe. 6.4 . Parents also are commaunded to bring vp their Children in the instruction and information of the Lord . By all which places it is euident , that Religion must be stirring in Christian families , and that good gouernment looketh to bring godly behauiour into families , as well as thrift and good husbandrie .

For want of this care , many parents leaue their children faire faces and foule minds proper bodyes , and deformed soules : full coffers , and emptie hearts , for want of this , God may dwell in Churches if he will , but he hath no abode allowed him in priuate families : for will God be where he may not rule , but must be an vnderling and stand and looke on ▪ when profit and pleasure shall be serued , and set aloft ? yet the Spirite of God saieth , that God will come and dwell with them that loue him , and keepe his commaundements . Where therefore Holinesse is not sought for in families , 1. Ion. 3.24 , & 4 , 12 , 13. there God hath no friends , nor louers , nor walkers with him , howsoeuer they will sometime come visit him in the Church .

Besides , the ill successe that such walkers haue , who make their houses temples to Mammon and riches , should teach vs to haue a principal respect to God in Christianitie , Math 6 , 24. ruling our houses . Many thriue not , but put that which they get in a bottomlesse bagge . For God who hath none or the lowest regard in their courses , and household affaires , Hag. 1 , 6. withholdeth his blessings from them : and then in vaine do men rise earlie , and go late to bedde , and eate the bread of carefulnesse . Others thriue , Psal. 127.2 but it is a wofull thrift , that serueth to harden the heart , and to bewitch the soule with loue & liking of this world . Yet this is Gods iust iudgement vppon many , because they wil needes serue their owne commoditie cheefelie at home , the Lorde giuing them vp to themselues , they neuer serue him but coldly and for custome sake at the Church , and God accepteth no more of their worship they do there , then they do loue and like of his gouernment in their houses .

The gouernours of families , The sorts of gouernours . Householders or housekeepers are persons authorized ouer their house holds and charges if ( as it is in marriage ) there be more then one , vpon whom the charge of gouernment lyeth , though vnequally , are , first the Cheefe gouernour , which is the Husband , secondly a fellow helper , which is the Wife .

These both do owe duties to their familie , and dutie one to another .

The duties they owe to their familie , both concerning godlinesse , and the things of this life ,

The dutie of the husband touching holinesse , which he must performe to them .

1 To see that tehy haue the word ordinarily , the want whereof , is the greatest plague that can be .

belong either to the husband especially , or to the wife especially . The duties that belong to the husbande touching holinesse , are such as eyther he must 1. Performe to them of his familie . 2. Or require of them .

The duties which he must performe to them , are , first touching the publike ministerie of the word , to prouide that they may liue vnder an ordinarie ministerie of the word , or else to take order , that alwaies vpon the Sabboth , & at other times when it may be , they resort to such places , where they may haue the word ministred vnto them : Amos 8.11 . Math. 9.36.37 . Esa. 32 , 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 Rom. 10 , 14. Iam. 1 , 86 , 19 , 21. for else how shall thay bee brought into the sheepfolde of God ( from which naturally they go astray ) but by hearing the voyce of the chiefe shepheard , speaking vnto them by those whom he sendeth ? how shal they beleeue , and so bee begotten againe by the seede of the word , 1 Pet. 2 , 2 , Haba. 21. vers. Ephe. 4 , 11 , 12. except they heare such as God sendeth for the begetting of men vnto him ? how shall they bee reconciled vnto God , but by hearing his messengers , Iam. 1 , 21. into whose mouthes hee hath put the word of reconciliation ? how shall they growe in fayth , and increase in grace , but by receiuing with meekenesse the ingrafted word , which is able to saue their soules .

Seeing then the word preached , is the meanes to beget men to a new life , and to nourish them in it : a great dutie lieth vpon the gouernours of families , to prouide by some meanes that they may haue it . For where the word is not preached , there the Lords Sabboth cannot be hallowed as it ought .

Now the Lorde would not onely haue Masters of families to keep holy the sabboth themselues , in al the parts of his worship , publike and priuate , All superiours ought to bee carefull that their inferiors do keep holie that day , as well as themselues , but also that euerie one should in his seuerall place and roome , carefully take order , that so many as bee committed to his charge , should sanctifie the Lordes day as well as himselfe : which though it be true in all other commandements , ( namely that whatsoeuer we are bound to do our selues , wee must be meanes to further other in doing the same , because the loue of God and of our neighbour , spreadeth it selfe ouer all the commandements : and therefore though it be not expressed , it is necessarily vnderstood , yet in the fourth commandement , it is so much the more required , because besides the analogie and proportion betweene it and the other commandements which doth inforce it , the very words themselues doo bind vs thereunto . For when it is said , Thou and thy sonne , and thy daughter , thy man seruant , and thy maide , though it speaketh by name onely of resting vpon the Sabboth , yet because the end of that is , that the day might be sanctified , looke how many reasons there be to bind the inferiours to rest , and the superiours to prouide that they do so indeede , so many are there to compell them to sanctifie the day in their own persons , & in so many as belong vnto them . Therfore when first of all it is generallie saide in this fourth commaundement , Deut. 5.12.14.15 . Remember the Sabboth day , that thou keepe it holy : and afterwardes , The seuenth day is the Sabboth of the Lorde the God : that is , which must be dedicated vnto his seruice , and in the end you must therefore rest , that you might serue him in it as he requireth , and then nameth the seuerall parties that should rest : his meaning is , to declare the right end of their resting , and so speaking by name to the gouernours , saying : Thou , and thy sonne , and thy daughter , thy man seruant , and the maide , the stranger that is within thy gates , to shew vnto them , that it is not sufficient for them to looke , that they vnder their gouernment should rest ; vnlesse they sanctifie the day of rest also , which they must be so much careful of , by how much the sanctification of the day is greater , then the ceasing to worke vpon it , as the end whereunto this is but referred : and therfore if it bee a sinne in them at any time , not to haue a sufficient regard vnto them , that they do not worke , then it must needes be a greater sin , if that through their negligence they deo not sanctifie and keepe holy this day of rest .

So that heere the Lorde God requireth , that in all places there should be such good lawes and others publikely in the common-wealth , They ought not to leaue it to their discretion as a thing indifferent , but to compell them thereunto . and priuately in mens houses established , and diligently executed , as whereby not onely the rulers , but also all in subiection , should be compelled to sanctifie the Lords day , and that they should be sure they doo it indeede . And as hee must not leaue it indifferent to them , to choose whether they will worke or rest , and so think it sufficient that they do not lay any worke vpon them , so it is not inough that they hinder them , not from seruing God vpon that day , vnlesse they procure al the meanes vnto them , whereby God might be worshipped of them , and see that they worship God in them , as well as themselues . Therfore the Maisters of families must prouide as much as lyeth in them , that the word be publikely preached where they dwel , not for themselues alone , but for their children and seruants sake , that they might keepe holy the day together with them : and they must not onely come themselues to the place of common prayer and diuine seruice , but bring these also with them , and so spende the rest of the day in all priuate godly exercises themselues , and cause others to do so also .

And here , least this might seeme too heauie vnto vs , and that it might not bee grieuous to take so great a charge vpon vs , we must remember , that as we haue great helpe by our inferiours in many things , so the Lord would haue vs to helpe them in the chiefe and principall : and as he hath made them our seruants , so we should make them his seruants : & when they haue serued vs six dayes , we might cause them to serue him vpon the seuenth : & as the Lorde hath preferred vs aboue them with their seruice , so hee would humble vs with this charge and care ouer them , or rather exalt vs , in that hee would haue vs to bee as it were the ouerseers of his worke , and not onely serue him our selues , but also see his seruice done by others , committed to our charge : which if wee doe not , wherein shall the Christian gouernours of housholds , differ from the infidels and heathen , and what greater thing shall wee doe for our seruantes , then they ? Nay , what shall wee doe more for them , then for the bruit beastes and cattell that worke vnder vs , to whom we giue rest and ease from labor vpon the Sabboth , if we cause them not to sanctifie the day of rest , in which they shall differ from all other , not onely beastes , but men .

Deut. 11 , 20. So haue the seruants of God done in times past in their seuerall families . And this is the meaning of that Law which Moses gaue to the Israelites , Commaunding them to write the word of God vpon the posts of their houses , and vpon their gates . Whereby all vnder gouernment , were taught what should bee required of them so long as they liued in those houses , namely , to serue God : and all gouernours were taught , what especially to looke after in all them that went in and out of their gates , and liued vnder the roofe of their houses , euen to serue the Lord in all partes of his worship , for which ende hee hath giuen them such authoritie ouer them . According to which commaundement , the worthie Captaine of Gods people Iehoshuah , made this protestation before all the Elders of Israell , a little before his death , exhorting them to doe the like : Iosh. 24.15 . I and mine house will serue the Lord , promising not onely for himselfe , but for all his , which though it was too hard to do , yet because he knew how many meanes the Lord had giuen him to bring it to passe , which also God would blesse ( as all godly exhortations , admonitions , and chastisements , whereby if they did not profite , he had authoritie to thrust them out of his house , and to rid himselfe of them ) all which hee was purposed to put in practise : therefore he was bold thus to speake of himselfe , thereby shewing what all men should propound to themselues , and may attaine vnto . The like whereof Dauid speaketh of him selfe , in that worthie Psalm . 101. which is left as a patterne for all Christian gouernours to rule by , wherein hee sheweth , how hee would rule not onely himselfe , but his household , nay the whole Kingdome , by hauing an eye to them that were good , to reward them : and to them that were bad , to punish them , that so not onely himselfe , but all his , might serue the Lord . After the same manner in the time of the Captiuitie , when the noble Queene Hester willed all the dispersed Iewes to keepe holy three dayes together , in fasting and prayer , that so they might intreat the Lord , for that finall destruction and vtter rasing of them out , which Haman the cursed Amalekite and sworne enemie of Gods people , had determined to bring vpon them speedily , that it ( wee say ) might be preuented in time : shee said , That she and her maids would do the like . Hest . 4.16 . Whereby no doubt , she insinuated vnto them , that in euery Houshold , her meaning was , that it should bee thorowly kept on all sides , not only the Rulers , and some few , but all others , euen vnto the Maid-seruants .

Now this is that , to wit , that the Sabboth , and the day of Fast , are both of one nature , and it is that which the word doth sufficiently beare witnesse vnto : therefore if this hath beene the practise of the Church , vpon that day to fast , not onely of the chiefe alone , but with their families : then must we needes be perswaded , that vpon the Lordes day , we ought our selues , and our housholds to serue the Lord , & to say with Iosua , I and mine house will serue the Lord ▪ and with Ester , J and my seruants will doe the like . And how could that haue beene verified of the religious Captaine Cornelius , Act. 10.2 . which is written of him , that he was a deuout man , and one that feared God with all his houshold ? Vnlesse he had not onely frequented the common assemblies vpon the Sabboth dayes , but had also acquainted his seruants therewith . Therefore as the Lorde himselfe speaketh of Abraham , who is the father of all beleeuers , I know that he will commaund his sonnes , Gen. 18.19 . and his houshold after him : that they keepe the way of the Lord , to doe rightcousnesse and iudgement , that the Lord may bring vpon Abraham , that he hath spoken vnto him . So it must be practised of all them , that will be the children of this faithfull Abraham , and enioy the same promises , that he and his posteritie did , euen that they cause their children and their seruantes , to keepe holy the Sabboth , wherein consisteth the true worship of the Lord , that so they might walke in that way , which hath the promises of this life , and the life to come .

So then by all this , it may most euidently appeare , both by the words of the Commaundement , and by the practise of the best men in the olde and newe Testament , that this dutie is laid vpon all householders , diligently to ouersee the wayes of their families , that they serue God , as in all other dueties , so especially in sanctifying the Sabboth , as they will answere to the contrary at their perill , to him that hath put them in authoritie , and as they will giue an account for their soules , which otherwise might perish through their default .

But in our time , it is for the most part , wholy neglected . Which though it be so seuerely inioyned to all men , and vnder so great a paine layd vpon them , yet it is so generally neglected of the greatest part , that wee may rather complaine of it iustly with griefe , then haue any hope of the speedie reformation of it : for besides that , a great many haue no care to sanctifie the day themselues , and therfore cannot with any conscience require it of their seruants and children , but either set them to worke , or to play , and to doe any thing vpon that day , sauing that which they should , and doe encourage them thereunto , by their owne ill example and words . There be others also , who though they seeme to haue some care to keepe holy the day themselues , ( and haue in deede ) yet either through ignorance , or negligence , doe not once look to their household , whether they come to Church or no , and sit there attentiuely , and continue there , with profit to the ending , nor how they spend the rest of the day : but being demanded where their seruants were , how chance they came not to Church , &c. they answere securely , ( and as they thinke sufficiently ) as though it were a thing meerely impertinent vnto them , that they cannot tell , they do not hinder them from the Church , they may come if they will , they are of age to looke to themselues , and they are past boyes now , and I cannot tell what , &c.

But they must consider besides , that which hath bin alreadie spoken , concerning this matter , that they doe too foolishly , and grosly imagine to stop ( as it were ) the mouth of the Lord , with that simple answere in his busines , which they will not receiue at their seruants hands in their owne . For in the sixe daies , when their seruants are in their owne busines , they will not let them come and goe at their owne pleasure , and content themselues with a bare imagination , that they bee at their workes , but will bee sure of it , and therefore set them to it , look vpon them in the doing of it , and call them to an account for it , which if it bee well done in themselues , because they know otherwise they will be negligent , how must it not needs then bee a great vnkindnes , and vnthankfulnes in them vnto God , that vpon this day ( which is but one among seuen ) his seruice should be so slenderly looked vnto , that there is no such diligence vsed towards their seruants , that they might performe it ?

And how must it not needs bee a great iniurie to their seruants ( who are naturally , and for the most part more negligent and careles in Gods seruice , by reason of their corruption , then they can bee in the seruice of men ) to be depriued of that benefite of their gouernours ( which is the chiefest , and for which cause especially they are committed to their gouernment ) namely , to be furthered by them in the seruice of God : but vse them more like beasts then men , euen that they might be seruiceable vnto them , and then care not whether they serue God or the diuell .

We know that seruants looke to be preferred by their masters , ( and so there is good reason , when they haue serued them faithfully ) but what kinde of rewarde is this ; that when they haue bestowed some earthly benefit vpon them , ( by hauing no care to make them serue the Lord , and sanctifie his Sabboths ) doe in the end not onely make them lose the euerlasting reward , but preserue them to eternall destruction .

Especially in great households , where there are many seruants . Moreouer , there are a companie of idle Seruing-men , who being brought vp idely all the sixe daies , and in them hauing nothing at all to doe , and are neuer almost looked after vpon the seuenth day , are as idle , and as little regarded , as vpon the other : and as they neuer almost doe any good daies worke to their masters ( for they haue nothing to do ) so much lesse doe they spend any Sabboth in the Lords seruice , but they especially are left to go and come at their will .

Others that haue any office of great charge and attendance ( as the Cookes , Butlers , and such like , in great houses ) seldome or neuer come to the Church , and that but by peeces , either when halfe is done , or els they are readie to depart before halfe be ended , and so both hinder the Lord from that seruice , which he shuld haue by them , and them from that blessing which they should inherit this way , and both cause the name of God to be ill spoken of , and pull vpon themselues and them , that curse which belongeth to the continuall polluting of the Sabboth . And how can they looke , that that seruice , and that meate and drinke should doe them good , which is thus prepared , and bought ( as it were ) with the continuall danger of the soules of their seruants , besides the dishonor of the name of God ?

When Dauid had inconsideratly desired to drinke of the water of Bethleem , three mightie men brake into the hoast of the Philistines , and drew water , and brought it to him , but hee would not drinke thereof , but powred it for an offering to the Lord , and said : 2. Sam. 23.15.16 . Oh Lord bee it farre from me , that I should doe thus : is not this the blood of the men that went in ieopardie of their liues ? How much lesse then ought men to eate & drinke that , for which their seruants doe venture the liues of their soules ? And besides , if wee iustly finde fault with them , who doe neuer or seldome preach to the people committed to their charge , and so cause their soules to starue , and die eternally : how can they bee blameles , who seldome or neuer bring their seruants to the preaching of the word ? And must they not needes be culpable of the same iudgement before God , seeing it is all one with the seruants , whether they liue in the places where the word of God is not preached at all : or if it be , yet they come not vnto it .

But whereas men are readie to obiect , that in a great familie many must needs be absent . We graunt it to be true , in some part , that is , at some time , & vpon some occasion : but so ordinarily & so continually ( as they themselues in their owne consciences are priuie of , who make this obiection ) we know no necessitie that can excuse that . Nay , we are sure that the Lord hath laid no such calling vpon any man , that should keep him in a continual breach of the Sabboth : and therefore both master and seruant may suspect , that he is in such a calling , as is not agreeable to Gods word , or that he vseth it not aright , when it maketh him , if not wholly , yet for the most part , to neglect the seruice of God vpon the Sabboth day .

And wee know ( where there is a great care to serue and please God by prayer ) the Lord will giue to them such wisedome , that they shall be able to redeeme , if not the whole , yet at least a great part of the day , which otherwise will be mispent : namely , by letting passe many needelesse things , preparing so much before , as conueniently may be , rising so much the more earely in the morning , and by the interchangeable helpe of other seruantes : especially when they will for these causes be contented with so much the lesse , though not in quantitie , ( for the reliefe of others ) yet lesse exquisite and curious dressing , which especially taketh vp the time : and so we are sure , and they that will trie it in the feare of God , & a care to serue him , & in a loue to the soules of their brethren , shall find it to be true by experience , that many might keepe holy the Sabboth , which doe not now at all : others might keep it more than they do . Which if yet it be thought vnpossible ( because we gonot about to practise it ) let vs but obserue the which we shal see done in the house , when the seruant is very desirous to go to a Faire , and the master is as willing to let him goe , you would wonder to see how things shal be dispatched vp suddenly , and in good order , they shall be absent many houres , and yet not greatly missed , if any thing bee otherwise then is vsuall , it is borne with , because it is a day of making prouision for themselues , and that day is not euery day . So then , if the masters were perswaded of the Lords day , as they ought to be , euen that it is the time of making prouision for the soule , and were as carefull for the soules of their seruants , as they are for their bodies , and did esteeme it more for their worship and credite , that their seruantes were religious , then that they were costly , and well set out in apparell , they would bee better contented to spare than , during the time of that Market , where they may buy without money , all the graces of Gods spirit , and the riches of the Kingdome of heauen : whereby they should not onley saue their owne soules , but bee made more fitte to doe dueties to their masters of conscience .

The gouernours of families should take order that their whole household might come to Church togither . Therefore ( to end this point ) it is the dutie of all household gouernours , to cause the whole familie to be in a readines to attend vpon them , to and fro the Church , and that it be not left at euery mans discretion , to come when he will , but that they should goe togither . And indeed this hath beene the orderly comming of Gods people in times past , to the place of his worship , that they haue not come scattered and alone , but many togither , and by companies ; whereof the Prophet speaketh , When J remembred these thinges , Psal. 42.4 . I powred out my very heart , because I had gone with the multitude , & ledde them into the house of God , with the voice of singing , and praise , as a multitude that keepeth a feast . In which place , the man of God complaining , that he was banished from the holy assemblies , saith , that his griefe was increased by remembring his former estate , when he vsed to goe with a great company to the Temple , euen as to a feast : whereby hee declareth what was the manner of their going , euen as men goe to a market , or to a feast , not onely with ioy , but also by companies , and so many of one house as goe , will goe togither : so they did not onely goe to the house of God cheerefully , but many of them togither , euen as to the market , and feast of their soules . By which practise of theirs , as the doing of many are condemned , so it appeareth , that the men of our time , are led by another spirit , then they were , and are otherwise perswaded of the worship and place they goe vnto : for all the people , nay , the seuerall households come not togither , but scattered , and one dropping after another , in a confused manner .

First , comes the man , then a quarter of an houre after , his wife , and after her , wee cannot tel how long , especially the maid seruants , who must needes bee as long after her , as the men-seruantes are after him . Whereby it commeth to passe , that either halfe the seruice of God is done , before all be met , or else if the Minister tarrie till there be a sufficient congregation , the first commers may bee wearie , and sometimes colde , with tarrying , before the other shall bee warme in their seates .

Now if it be demanded of the masters , why they alone make such haste , & leaue all the rest behind them ; & they answere , truly , because the time is come , wherein vsually publike prayer beginneth : can they bee perswaded , that it is time for themselues to come ( as it is indeed ) and yet no time for the rest to come with him ? Hath he no longer time to tarrie , and haue they time to tarrie so long after him ? as though there were one Law for him , and another for them : or rather , that the same Law of the Sabboth , which moueth him of conscience to do that which he doeth , did not as forcibly bind them all , as himselfe : nay , did not binde him to looke to them , that they should keepe holy the day , as well as himselfe : which if he graunt to be true , and yet is not able to bring it to passe ( where the Lord hath giuen him so great authoritie for his owne sake ) partly through the frowardnesse of his wife , and partly through the obstinacie of the rest in the familie , his case is to be pitied , and he is rather to be gouerned , then to gouerne , and he might doe well , to set vp one of them in his steed , 1. Cor. 6.4 . seeing he doth suffer himselfe wilfully so to be abused , and is contented to be ouerruled by them in the chiefest thing .

Therefore that hee might bring this matter happily to passe , as hee must goe before them by his owne example , and be readie be times , euen first of all , so hee must earnestly call vpon them for this duetie , and exhort them vnto it , and the slower that they are , and the more they draw backe . the more forward must he be , and by his practise and words , draw them forwards also : for this is that readinesse which Dauid obserued in the people of his time : I reioyced when they said vnto me , Psal. 122.1 . wee will goe into the house of the Lord , or let vs go into the house of the Lord : ( for they are wordes of exhorting , and encouraging one another thereunto : ) Euen as the Prophet Esay also foretelleth , that this shall be the zeale of Gods people , in the time of the Gospel , that they shal go togither to serue God , and therfore cal vpon one another for the same purpose , saying : It shall be in the last dayes , Esay . 2.2 , 3. that the Mountaine of the house of the Lord , shal be prepared in the top of the Mountaines , and shall be exalted aboue the hilles , and all nations shall flow vnto it , and many people shall goe and say : Come , and let vs goe vp to the mountaine of the Lord , to the house of the God of Iacob .

And truely this want of zeale in vs , to Gods worship , and loue to the saluation of our brethren , ( bewraying it selfe , in the neglect of this dutie , to call vpon one another ) is the cause of this slownesse . For the husband hee going first out of the doores , saith to his wife , make haste , and come assoone as you can : she comming at her leisure , giues the same charge to her seruants : dispatch , and tarrie not long behind ; but here is no saying : Come let vs goe , let vs goe togither , & if it be once said , it is not pursued , that it might be performed .

In going to market , and to a feast , what earnest calling vpon will there be of one another , and it wold seeme strange , to behold the household goe deuided , & it were a thing that would much be marked , and euery one that knew vs , and whither wee were going , it should bee the first question they wold aske vs : how chanceth this , that you come alone ? where is your husband , your wife , or your children ? why come you not togither ? So no doubt , the dispersed and broken comming togither of households to the Church , is a thing greatly obserued of the Lord God , & of his Angells , which are present at their assemblies : 1. Cor. 11.10 . & it is that which grieueth the rest of the Church , and assoone as they see one come in alone , they are ready with griefe , to aske , where are the rest ? what meaneth this partie to come alone ? Therefore let all gouernors be perswaded , that it is their bounden dutie , thus to looke to their families , & to be sure that they sanctifie the Lords day , as wel as themselues , & therefore that they not only thus bring them to the publike ministerie , but also looke vnto them , that they spend the rest of the day , in all holy exercises , so much as may be : examining them , in that which they haue heard , and causing them to confer about it themselues , & to appoint some to reade the scripture vnto them , and all of them to sing Psalmes , and generally , whatsoeuer you haue seen before , you ought to doe your selues , to call vpon them for the same , and to take such order , that you be sure they do it . And let them be sorie , that they haue neglected this duety so long heretofore , and thereby haue charged so many sinnes of their household vpon themselues : and now at the last , in Gods holy feare , let them begin to put this in practise , least they doe further prouoke the most patient Lord , to their endles destruction . And , though it be a thing so rare in the world , as it is , & men altogether so vnacquainted with it , as they be , nay , so loathsome & tedious to flesh & blood , that they are afraid once to begin with it : yet let the bare commandement of God preuaile more with vs , to take in hand , and to continue in it , then all that can bee saide or thought against it , should weigh with vs , either to keepe vs from it , at the first , or afterwards , The want of this care in households , is the cause of much wickednesse , rebellion , and disorder in their families . cause vs to giue it ouer . And , that all men might doe it so much the rather , let them be assured that the want of this especially , is the cause of so many wicked and rebellious children , vntrustie and disobedient seruants , nay , vnfaithfull & vnkind wiues euery where : euen for that their husbandes , their fathers , and their masters , do not call vpon them to serue God , and see them sanctifie the Sabboth . It is a common and iust complaint in all places , in the mouth of euery man , that seruants and children will not bee ruled , that they cannot tell where to finde a good seruant , they know not whome to trust , but they see not the greatest cause of it to be in themselues , & so go not about to remedie it : for whiles they labour not to make their children the sonnes & daughters of God by adoption , and to bring their seruantes within the household of God , that they might be his seruants by grace , & to make their wiues the chaste spouses of Iesus Christ , and so al of them to serue him , the lord iustly punisheth them , that they are disobedient vnto them . For how can they doe duties vnto men , if they haue not learned to doe duties vnto God , and so of conscience for Gods sake to doe dueties vnto men ? Nay , must not the Lord needs punish them with disobedience against themselues , that by their owne experience , they might know how grieuous the neglect of his seruice is vnto himselfe , when he iustly measureth out vnto them , with the same measure , that they haue mette vnto him before .

And whereas men are readie to imagine , and we know it is that , which many doe obiect against this , that to deale so straightly with their household , were the next way to rid themselues of all good seruants , and that then they might soone bee master and man them selues . They must againe on the contrary vnderstand , that it is a great wickednesse in them , once to thinke that the Lord should require that of them , which would necessarily driue them to such inconueniences : 1. Tim. 4.8 . nay rather they must be assuredly perswaded , That godlinesse hath the promises of this life , Matt. 6.33 . as well as of the life to come , and if we first seeke the kingdome of God , & his righteousnes , in our selues and others , that all needfull things should be cast vnto vs . Euen as it is sai● of Abraham , Gen. 18.19 . I know that he wil command his sonnes & his household after him , that they keepe the way of the Lord to doe righteousnesse and iudgement , that the Lord may bring vpon Abraham , that he hath spoken vnto him . So that thus to doe , is the very high way , not to keepe vs from , but to bring vs vnto the performance of all the promises , if we giue credit vnto him ; who as he only maketh them in the beginning of meere mercie , so must he only accomplish them in the ende , by his constant veritie and trueth . We confesse indeed , if he be an ill seruant , this is the readiest way to be rid of him , whose roome is better then his company : for he thinketh himselfe to be in a prison , nay , in hell all the while , but in the ende hee shall perceiue , that he is gone from the way to Heauen , vnto hell , if the Lord be not more merciful vnto him : and why should wee be loth to depart from the seruice of them , that haue no care to serue God ? or can we looke that they should do any faithfull seruice vnto vs , that are so vnfaithfull in the seruice of God ?

But as concerning the rest , if any bee religious , this is the best meane to retaine and keepe them : if they be but indifferent , this may winne them : if they be falling away , this may recouer them : To haue such good orders in our houses , is not the next way to driue away our seruants from vs . for what shall we thinke of all the godly fathers in times past ? that when they vowed diligently to looke to their households , that they should serue God with them , and did constantly performe it , that then they had no seruants at all ? Was so great a man as Iehosua , without seruants , when hee promised before so many witnesses , that he & his house wold serue the Lord ? Was Dauid left alone , and constrained to doe all himselfe ? when as being a mighty King , hee bound himselfe vnto it , by that song which he made for the same purpose , wherein hee saith . Mine eyes shal be vnto the faithfull of the land , that they may dwell with me , Psal. 101.6 , 7. he that walketh in a perfect way , he shall serue me : there shall no deceitfull person dwel in mine house : he that telleth lyes shall not remaine in my sight . Had not Abraham a great household , Gen. 14.14 . when hee was able of the sudden to carrie forth with him , of them that were borne & brought vp in his house , three hundred and eighteene men in armour , to rescue his brother Lot ? Of whom notwithstanding , it is said : that he would teach his household the way of the Lord . As it appeareth he did indeed , when by his only perswasion at the word of God , ●hap. 18.12 . All the males were contented to be circumcised , and to receiue that Sacrament , vnknowne before , and painful , & also ignominious to the flesh , if they had looked only to the outward signe : and must not that worthy Captaine of an hundred Italian souldiers , needs haue a greater family than many of these that cauill at this doctrine , of whom the spirit of trueth reporteth , That hee feared God , Act. 10.2 . and all his household .

What shall wee thinke of all these men ? Shall we ignorantly presume to the further deceiuing of our selues , and hardening vs in this sinne , that the times were then better , good seruantes were more plentifull ? Or must wee needes confesse , as the trueth is indeede , that these men vsed more meanes to make their seruants the seruants of God , then men doe now adaies , and that so the blessing of God was greater vpon them ? And is it not set downe in writing for our learning , to shewe vs what is that which we might looke for at Gods hands , if we would walke in the same way that they did , seeing there is no respect of persons , times or places with him ?

Secondly , hee must set an order in his house for the seruice of God , to witte , that morning and euening , before meales , and after meales , prayers and thankes may bee made vnto God , and so hee acknowledged to bee the authour , not only of all spiritual graces , that belong to a better life : but also of al temporal blessings that belong to this life : for seeing that it is Gods good hand ouer vs , that doth defend vs and all our family in the night , from outward dangers , and giueth vs freedome from feares , and terrors , and from Sathans rage , and also giueth vs rest and comfortable sleepe for the refreshing of our fraile bodies , is it not meete wee should begge it at his hand by prayer , before we prepare our selues to rest , and praise him for it , when wee rise from it ? Againe , seeing that euery day we are subiect to innumerable dangers , which we know not of , and both wisedom & strength to follow good and honest callinges , and also the blessing vpon our labours to make vs prosper by them , are from God alone should we not beginne the day with suit vnto God for his gracious protection , and for his mercifull blessing of vs ? 1. Tim. 4.5 . And seeing meates and drinks are sanctified vnto vs on Gods parte by the worde , and on ours by prayer , doubtles though God hath by his worde sanctified them , they are vnholy vnto vs , when we doe not for our part sanctifie them by faithfull prayer and thankesgiuing . And this was Dauids practise . Psal. 55.17 . Euening & morning , and at noonetide , will I pray and make a noyse , and he will heare my voyce . If any say it is sufficient for the gouernour to charge euery one in his family to do it priuatly by himselfe : so might the Prince say , it is inough to do as Darius did , to charge euery one in all his dominions , Dan. 6.26 . to worship no God , but Daniels God . Yet godly Princes thought it their dutie , to set vp the worship of God in their dominions , & to take order that God might be worshipped publikely & ioyntly , of al in their land . So did Iob for his household , Iob. 1.5 , 6 not onely bid his children pray to God by themselues , but he appointed set times of praying togither , & sacrificing ▪ and commanded his children to come prepared thereunto . Againe , if the master lay the matter vpon the consciences of such as be of his familie , then if they bee negligent , God shall haue no honor & worship in that familie .

But we reade of Abraham , that wheresoeuer he became , he built an altar to God , Gen. 12.7.8 . & 13.8 . & 21.33 . & 22.9 . where God should bee worshipped ioyntly of his family . If God should measure out his goodnes to thee , as thou measurest honor and glorie to him , in what a case wert thou ? Hee doth giue a charge to his Angels to keepe thee , he commandeth the earth to allow thee meat , for thy sustenance , but his commandement is an effectuall word , that maketh them to doe the thing , that he chargeth them withall . Wilt thou now only bid thy seruant or sonne , to serue & honor God , and not see that he do it , & helpe him in it ? Then thou dost not measure out vnto God , as thou wouldest haue him measure to thee .

This dutie then belongeth to a christian head of a familie , to worship God with all his familie , & to take order , that when he shal be absent , vpon necessary occasion , it may be done reuerently and duly , by some one in his familie , that by reason of wit and age , may be meet for it . The neglect of this dutie , letteth into families , many grieuous enormities , and outward miseries , while God in his iustice , refuseth to blesse such , as by their carelesnesse in seruing of him , doe shew , that they take not him to be the author of all welfare to soule or bodie , but thinke to do wel inough without him , or else thinke to haue their turnes serued without requesting .

The third dutie , Priuate instructing . which the chiefe gouernour must performe to all in his familie , is priuate instruction , & dealing with them in matters of religion , for the building of them vp in true faith , and for the inuring & bringing of them to a conscience towards God , that they may not onely know , and professe religion , but also feele and shew the power of religion in their liues . This dutie hath these specials belonging to it : First , a familiar & plaine opening vnto them , the principles of religion , after the manner of a Catechisme . This dutie the holy Ghost layeth vpon parents . Ephe. 6.4 . Traine them vp in doctrine and holy precepts , drawne out of the word . The like was commanded to parents in the old law : Let these wordes , Due . 6.6 , 7 , 8 , 9 which I commaund thee this day , be in thine heart , and whet them vpon thy children , and speake of them when thou sittest in thy house , when thou walkest in the way , when thou lyest downe , and when thou risest vp , &c. So that it is not enough to bring thy children to bee catechised at the Church , but thou must labour with them at home after a more plaine and easier manner of instruction , that so they may the better profite by the publike teaching . Looke Pro. 22.6 . Thou euen by breeding thy children , hast helped them into corruption , & a damnable estate : how oughtest thou then , by al holy care and paines taken with them , in teaching them the knowledge of God in Christ , helpe them out of it , that they may not be firebrands of hell ? And for seruants , seeing they spend their strength , & wearie out their bodies , and bestow their dayes and yeeres in seeking their profit and ease : oughtest not thou then to seeke the saluation of their soules ? Salomon saith , the iust man hath regarde to his beast , much more shouldest thou haue regard to thy seruant , who is made according to the image of God with thee , & is redeemed with as deere a price , as thou art . And thy care for him , should not stretch to his body alone , but especially to his soule , that seeing his calling will not suffer him to vse so many , & so often meanes for the good of it , as were requisite , hee might herein be helped by thee .

The second speciall is , an acquainting them with the Scriptures , by reading them dayly in thy house , Reading the scriptures . in their hearing , and directing them to marke , and make vse of those things which are plaine and easie , according to their capacitie . 2. Tim. 3.15 . So Timothie was trained vp by his parents in the Scriptures , so hat he knew them from a child : that is , was made acquainted with them , by reading them , and being instructed in them , according to his capacitie . This shall make them the fitter to heare and profite by the publike ministerie . Whereas the neglect of this dutie makes them vnable to heare and vnderstand the Preacher , when hee citeth examples , or quoteth texts , out of sundry places of scripture . The helpe that their familie might reape by it , should make them carefull , in this reading of the Scripture .

Thirdly , in looking that they profite by the publike ministerie of the word & Sacraments , euery one according to their capacitie : and this duty requireth , that they should not only looke that they do diligently frequent the preaching of the word , and carefully come to the Sacraments in due time , but also that they shew them how , and put them in mind of preparing themselues to the word & Sacraments , as Iob did his sons . Prepare them to heare the word by considering Gods ordinance , his promise , and their own necessity , &c. by laying aside al such cares , thoughts and affections , as might hinder them from a diligent hearing . To the Sacraments prepare them , by considering of Gods institution , the ministerie of his Sacraments , his mercie in Iesus Christ , their faith , their repentance , & their wants , and so seeking assurance of grace , of reconciliation , & comfort , to come to the Lords table .

Againe , to further their profit , they must diligently examine them , what they haue learned , what vse they can put such doctrine , & also helpe and direct them , wherein they faile . Thus did our Sauior Christ his disciples . Mat. 16.15.16.17 . Besides , they must call vpon them , for the practise of that , which they learne out of the worde , that the worde grow not to a common matter , of no further vse , but to talke of , vpon the Sabboth day .

The fourth special duty , that belongeth to instruction , is , that they teach them how to make vse of Gods works , either past , or present , as of examples of his mercie and goodnes , to be encouraged by them , to trust in him : by workes of his iustice , to be moued to feare him , and so to sowe the seedes of conscience and religion in them . Thus did Abraham . Genes. 18.19 . which care of his , moued the Lorde to reueale his purpose to him , of destroying the Sodomites .

The duties which they are to require of them , concerning godlinesse , bee , to vse the publicke Ministrie carefully : to be diligent and reuerent in the priuate worship of God : to submit themselues to priuate instruction of all sortes and to make their vse of it , to the building vp of themselues in faith : and lastly , to practise all holy and christian duties , which beeing comprised brieflie in the ten Commaundements , are more largely layd open , by the publike ministrie of the word , and by priuate Catechising .

But after what manner must they require these duties ? We answere , not onely by telling of them , what they must do , and calling vpon them , for the doing of it , and by gentle admonition , when they bee backward , but also by correcting them , if they shall be negligent and contemptuous in the practise of them .

This correcting is either by Rebuking , or Chastising them , according to the qualitie of the fault , and the condition of the partie , that is so to be dealt with .

Leuit. 19.17 . 2. Tim. 4.2 . A rebuke , is a pronouncing of some misbehauiour , or knowne wickednesse of any , with condemning of the same by the word of God , whereby they may haue shame , that others might feare .

Pro. 27.5 . and 29.19 . Correction is a sharpe thing , and therefore not easilie borne of our nature , which is full of selfe-loue , and through the corruption of nature , it is turned into an occasion of great frowardnes , sturdines , and naughtines , where it is not wisely dealt in . Now the better to minister correction , with more hope of doing good by it , we must consider :

First , the end of correcting .

Secondly , the matters which must bee corrected .

Thirdly , the maner of correcting .

1. The ende in correcting , must not bee to wrecke and reuenge thine anger , or malice , or to reuenge thy selfe for an iniurie done , nor yet alone ly the preuenting of the like hurt , by the like fault afterward : but in zeale of Gods glorie , who is dishonoured by the lewdnes of the offender , and in loue to the partie . Thou must seeke by wise correction , to reclaime him from such euill , as bringeth danger to him , and make him more careful of his dutie afterwards . Herein they faile , who in correcting haue no respect , but to their owne commoditie .

2. For the matters that deserue correction , this is a rule , that there must bee no rebuking , much lesse chastising , but where there is a fault : for where any is vniustly corrected , besides the iniurie , it hurteth him , by hardning him against iust correction , for he will thinke that it is the rash hastines of his gouernour , that putteth him to smart , and not his owne desert .

By fault I meane , not onely the committing of that which was forbidden , but also the omitting of that good which was commaunded . But euery such fault is not to be censured with correction : sometime ignorance , or mistaking , ouersight , and desire to please in one thing , maketh inferiours to offend in others . Except there bee contempt , or willing negligence , or retchlesse ouersight , a gentle admonition may serue . And indeede , Superiours must take heede of comming to the greatest remedies of correction too soone , for so they may soone marre the partie by ouer-sharpe dealing , which by a wise proceeding by degrees , might haue been gained . Furthermore , Gouernours must know yet more expresly , what to correct . Some neuer correct , but for their owne matters , neuer regarding the faults committed against God . But the godly Gouernour , that aimeth at Gods glorie , and seeketh the Lord , and not himselfe , he is most grieued for disorders in his familie , that tend to Gods dishonour , and such he correcteth most carefully . And as for defaults of his familie , that are against himselfe , he looketh more to Gods dishonour by them , then to his owne hurt or losse , & in zeale of God is drawne to correct , and not of selfe-loue . He therefore counteth these things worthie of correction , if any delight in the ignorance of God , bee careles to approue himselfe , as one that wholly dependeth on him , loueth him , feareth him , reuerenceth him , laboureth to approue al his waies , before him . If any be giuen to Idolatrie and superstition , and careth not in euery part for the worship of God , to follow his reuealed wil : or if in the parts commanded , he appeare negligent and colde , or to put them to any other vse , then is commanded : or to be giuen to images , superstitious monuments , customes , occasions , or such like : if any dishonor the name of God , either in the vnreuerent vsing , or abusing , or peruerting , and not vsing with that preparation before , feeling at the present time , and fruit after , which is prescribed , his titles , word , Sacraments , workes . And if any prophane his Sabboth , by vaine pastimes , and gaming , as Cards , Dice , dancing , &c. going to playes , or giue not himselfe to the exercises appointed on that day , out of the word : If any neglect speciall duties towards their equals , superiour , or inferiour in yeares , gifts , authoritie ; as Magistrates , Ministers , Masters , Parents , seruants , children , or people : If any declare not a conscience to flie euill , anger , malice , contention , quarelling , fighting , or any hurting of the person of man , either in soule or bodie , not being carefull to succour the same , according to his calling : If any bee found vnchaste , in bodie , words , countenance , or gesture ; vntemperate in diet , in apparell dissolute , not caring to maintaine the contrarie holinesse in himselfe and others : If any care not for the goods of another man , but by falsehood , flatterie , and oppression , diminish the same : If he bee negligent in increasing of his owne , by honest and lawful meanes : If he mispend it , in Cards , Dice , gaming , &c. If any care not to maintaine the good names of others but be giuen to vnnecessarie blasing of other mens infirmities , by lying , slaundering , backbyting , taunting : If any shew himselfe carelesse , to restraine the motions and entisements vnto sin , and the lusts of the same : then they shall vse the meanes following , to redresse them .

The maner of correcting , must likewise bee looked vnto : for to faile in that , maketh correction hurtfull oftentimes , but alwaies vnauaileable . For this point then , wee must know , that correction must be Ministred in Wisedome , Ministred in Patience fit .

Ephe. 5.15.16.17 . Wisedome is that , by which wee obserue comelinesse in euery action : that is to say , by which we obserue what we doe , how , in what place , at what time , before whom : that al things may be done in a conuenient place , time and maner .

Wisedome will 1. Finde out the right partie that committed the fault , that he that is innocent be not vniustly burthened . 2. Consider of what sorte and nature the fault is . 3. Weigh circumstances of ages , discretion , & occasions , that moued the party , & whether it be customarie , or a slip , by ouersight . 4. Looke to the mind of the doer , whether negligence , frowardnes , or simplicitie , and want of wisedom , brought him to it .

And according to these things , wisedome wil teach a man to measure out correction , or to be sparing in it . Besides , wisedome will not correct , before the fault be euident , or that she be able to winde the offender out of all shifting holes . For when the offender is not throughly conuinced , he shifteth off the shame of the fault , and of the correction , which is a part of the purgation , to cure his disease : and besides , he will bee bold to open his mouth against his Ruler , and seek to bring him into hatred , or contempt , with the rest of the inferiours , for correcting vniustly . Wisedome therefore will winke at a fault a while , & make as though she saw it not , that she may haue a fitter oportunitie to correct : yea towards some of a good nature , wisedome will shew , that she seeth a fault : but yet for loue of the partie , and desire to haue him amend of his owne accord , she will passe ouer the euill . Moreouer , wisedome will neuer reproach the offender , by reuiling , or taunting him with the fault , but minister correction in loue , and desire to haue his sore cured , and his credit salued . For the casting of faults in their teeth , and disgracing them , especially before others , which is common in the world , maketh them lay off shame of offending , by little and little : whereas , if they saw thee carefull of their credit , they would haue more regard to it themselues .

Lastly , wisedome will auoide partialitie , and deale with all , in the same case , after the same maner . Patience is also needfull , that through anger , or hastines , a man do not fight nor chide , Patience is a stedfastnesse , in suffering the euils , that come to vs by any worke , so that they can not discourage vs . Phil. 4.5 . before hee hath made the fault manifest to the offender , that if it may be , his conscience may be touched for it . Againe , by patience , one must heare what the offender can say in his defence , and not disdaine to heare him , modestly alleadging for himselfe , and when his defence is made by equity , to allow , or disallow the same . So did Iob , chap. 13. verse . 13. and Balaam did not disdaine to heare the defence of his beast . Numb. 22.30 . &c.

This patience also will keepe a man from bitternesse , which might sooner make the partie angry , then draw him to amendment : which thing the Apostle would haue auoyded in superiours , Coloss. 2.21 . Ephes. 6.4.9 . towards those that bee vnder them . For want of this , many are at a word and a blow : many first correct , and then tell the fault : many lay on loade , or raile , and reuile , braule , and scolde , without measure .

Lastly , this patience will keepe thee from anger , ( a needfull thing in a correcter ) for hee that commeth to reforme with anger , shall hardlie keepe a measure in rebuking , or chastising .

Now for the seuerall kinds of correction , the first is Rebuking , which is a sharpe reproofe for a fault committed , measured according to the nature of the fault : as Iacob , Genesis 30.2 . Job 2.10 . Our Sauiour Christ to Peter , Mat. 16. vers. 23. and to Iames and Iohn . Luk. 9. vers. 55. Elie 1. Sam. 2.23 . &c. rebuked his sonnes , but not according to the qualitie of their fault , which turned to his , and their ruine . The profit of this , wisely done , is declared by Salomon , Prouer. 23.15 . The rod and rebuke , giue wisedome : but the child let alone , shameth his mother .

This reproofe may haue some threatning of chastisement ioyned with it , if need bee ▪ to the end to make it sincke the deeper with them . Pro. 19.19 . Be thou very angry when thou pardonest a fault , saying , that thou for sparing him now , wilt punish him the sorer , if he transgresse againe . But threatnings must not bee vaine words , without effect , but alwaies if amendement follow not , thou must performe what was threatned , least thou become light and vaine in the offenders eyes .

Chastisement is , when with a sharpe rebuke , punishment is also laid vpon the offender , according to discretion .

If any man thinke fighting vnmeet for Christians , or be loth to foile their hands , least they should get themselues an ill name ; let them know , that Gods ordinance is not a matter of an ill report , but onely amongst fooles , that know not what is good and meete . Now , that household chastisement is agreeable to Gods will , is euident out of the Prouerbs , where the wisedome of God doth very often commend it to vs , as chap. 13.24 . He that spareth the rod , hateth his sonne : but he that loueth him chasteneth him betime . Where he requireth , that it be not deferred till it be too late , that is , till the offender be hardened in ill : but giuen in time , before he be past recouerie . He saith it is a fruit of true and pure loue , to correct in due time , and very loue in parents and care of their children , must draw them to it .

Thirdly , he saith , Parents neuer knew what true loue of children ment , but imbrace fondnesse , and foolish pitie in stead of it , who doe spare to correct , when correction is deserued .

Fourthly , that this fondnesse and foolish affection , is indeede hatred , and not loue : the reason why it is to bee counted hatred , is set downe , Prou. 19.18 . Chastise thy sonne while there is hope , and let not thy soule spare him , to his destruction . Where hee plainly saith , that fond pittying and sparing of children , is to work the destruction of them : and is it not a token of great hatred , to be a meanes of anothers destruction ? Elsewhere he sheweth the necessitie of correction , and the good which it doth : Pro. 22.15 . Foolishnes is bound in the heart of a childe , but the rod of correction shall remoue it farre from him . As if he should say , much follie and lewdnes is couched in a childs heart , which if it be not purged , will burst foorth into foule enormities , and therefore a purgation is but needfull , and what may that be , but the rod of correction ?

The same is commanded , Pro. 29.17 . Correct thy sonne : where also he sheweth , what benefit commeth thereby to the parents : He shall giue thee rest , yea he will giue pleasures to thy soule : that is , thou shalt bee free from sorrow , heauines , and many troubles , which many parents haue with vngracious children : and on the other side , thou shalt haue much comfort and delight by them . Great benefit also commeth thereby to the children , as he sheweth in the 15. verse ; The rod and correction giue wisedome . And chap. 23.13.14 . whereas the neglect of it , bringeth hurt to the child , and to the parents , as followeth : A childe set at libertie , maketh his mother ashamed . And for seruants , the Wiseman doth closely shew , how they must be dealt with all , where he saith , Pro. 29.21 . He which bringeth vp his seruant delicately from his youth , at length will be depriued of his children . And a little before , verse 19. he saith : A seruant wil not be chastised with words : though he vnderstand , yet he will not answere , or regard .

These Scriptures shew , that God hath put the rod of correction in the hands of the Gouernours of the familie , by punishment to saue them from destruction ; which if the bridle were let loose vnto them , they would runne vnto . Where men and women are content to goe contrarie to their owne nature , and to vndergo ill reports , to obey the ordinance of God , there God will giue a blessing , that is , a well ordered familie , wherein all shall be of good hope .

The wiues dutie , touching christian holinesse . These bee the duties , that the chiefe of the familie oweth to them of his familie , within doores , as touching godlinesse . The wife also , which is a fellowe-helper , To be a fellow helper , is to yeeld helpe to her husband , especiall at home , in al the matters o● the familie . 1. Tim. 5.15 . Tit. 2.5 . Gen. 18.67.1 . hath some things belonging to her , to further godlinesse in her familie : as for example : In her selfe to giue example to her Household , of all readie submission to all good and christian orders , to order her Household affaires so carefully , that no exercise of religion bee hindered , or put out of place , at such time as they should bee done . And in her husbands absence , to see good orders obserued , as he hath appointed : to watch ouer the manners and behauiour of such as bee in her house , and to helpe her husband in spying out euils that are breeding , that by his wisedome , they be preuented or cured . Salomon saith of the vertuous woman , that she ouerseeth the waies of her household . Pro. 31.27 , verse . 26. And a little before , she openeth her mouth with wisedome , and the Law of grace is in her tongue . And S. Paul requireth , that wiues , specially the elder , bee teachers of good things , and to instruct the younger . They may also do much good , in framing the tender yeares of their children vnto good , while they bee vnder their hands , for euen as a childe cockered , and made a wanton by the mother , wil be more vntractable , when the father shal seeke to bend him to good : so on the other side , a child wisely trained vp by the mother in the young yeares , will bee the easilier brought to goodnesse , by the Fathers godly care . We reade , that Timothie was made acquainted with the scripture from a little child , by means of his godly Mother , & Grandmother ; a good patterne for christians : And marke the proofe , God recompenced their godly care exceedingly : for Timothie proued a rare young man , of excellent graces , to the great ioy and comfort of his Parents . Shee may also poure good licour in to their tender vessels , the sauour whereof , shall sticke in them a long while after : I meane , they may sowe in their mindes , the seedes of religion and godlinesse . These and such like duties , if the wife performe constantly , she shall bring no smal helpe to her husband , for the godlie and religious ordering of his house . And thus much of that part of household gouernment , which concerneth godlinesse .

Now of the other part , The 2. thing whereat houshold gouernment aymeth . which pertaines to the things or this life , wherein is to be considered , what is the dutie of the husband , and of the wife , to Take order for Prouision . Take order for Health .

They must take order for prouision , Many are careful to liue , but very carelesse to liue well . for necessaries to the maintenance of themselues , and al within their charge : these necessaries are food and rayment , and also for the health of such as be in their families , both to preserue it , by rest and recreation if neede be , and to restore it , if it bee hindred , by good looking to such as are fallen into sicknesse .

Prouision . That the Gouernours of the familie must make honest prouision for themselues , and their charge , and not liue vpon the Church almes , nor by begging , purloyning , or borrowing , and cousoning , is most euident by that saying of Saint Paul to Timothie . 1. Timo. 5.8 . He that prouideth not for his owne , and especially for them of his house , hath denied the faith , and is woorse then an infidell . Pro. 12.10 . And Salomon saith , The iust man regardeth the life of his beast , much more of his seruants and children .

And as the Spirit of God chargeth vs with this dutie , so hee setteth vs about such things , whereby this may bee compassed , and forewarneth vs of those things , whereby it may bee hindered .

What things be needfull for the making of prouision . The things that he teacheth vs for the making of this prouision , are first , That euerie one should haue some honest and good calling , and should walke diligently in it : that it may bring in honest gaine , whereby necessaries for the familie may be prepared .

A calling . Genes. 3.19 . Calling is our appointed charge and manner of life , in some honest worke , wherein we are dayly to labour , as we may best profit therein . 1. Cor. 7.17.20 . Ephes. 4.1 . 1. Thess. 2.12 . That euery man must apply himselfe to some studie and calling , is so knowne , that it needeth no proofe . In the sweate of thy browes thou shalt eate thy bread , &c. which condemneth all such as liue of the labours of other men , and themselues take no paines nor trauaile , doo no good in the world , benefit not humaine society any way , but deuoure the good creatures of the earth , which indeed belong to them that take all the paines . In this rancke , doo a number of Gentles in the world march : deuising gay toyes , which might well bee spared , vnprofitable burdens of the earth , that fill vp number like Ciphers , who glorie in their shame : that is , in their ease , pleasures , and brauerie , whereof ( if they knew whereto a man was borne ) they would be ashamed .

These bee they , for whose maintenance in their iollitie , a number are faine to toile very hardly , fare thinlie , and spend their strength to the very skin and bones , and yet can get but a slender recompence , through their vnmercifull exactions ; but inough of them : to returne . The good gouernour of a house must bee none of these , but hee must haue a calling that is good , honest , and lawfull , not onely gainefull to himselfe , but also holy and profitable to the societie of mankind : for thus much doth S. Paul comprehend , within the compasse of his words : Ephe. 4.28 . But let him labour the thing that is good .

It is not inough to haue a calling though it be neuer so good , but it must be followed , so as it may bring in maintenance for thee , and thine , such as is meete for thy owne estate .

2 The manner of following a calling . But how must it be followed , first , with diligence , for as Salomon saith . Pro. 18.9 . Hee that carieth himselfe slouthfully or loosely in his businesse , is the brother of a great waster : that is , he is another waster , & doth as much as an vnthrift or spend good . To diligence belongeth the blessing . Pro. 13.4 . Pro. 10.4 . The hand of the diligent maketh rich . and Chap. 12.11 . He that tilleth his land , shall be satisfied with meate . Yea , and a large blessing : The soule of the diligent shall be fatted : that is , he shall haue aboundantly . And least that any should say , that in some calling , Diligence , is that , by which we execute as wel as we can , the labour of our calling . 2. Thes. 3.10 . Rom. 12.11 . a man may well thriue , but not in mine : It is said , Pro. 14.23 . In all labour , that is diligent , following thy calling , there is abundance . Moreouer , this diligence will bring a man to renowme . Pro. 22.29 . Thou seest , that a diligent man in his businesse , standeth before Kings . &c.

Of the enemies to diligence . The better to kindle the affection vnto this diligence in following thy calling : consider what is said by the spirit of God , of those euils , that are enemies vnto it .

Slouth . Slouthfulnesse is a wearinesse or tediousnes , in any godly , spirituall , or ciuill exercises which one ought for Gods sake to doe , for the benefit of the common wealth , or for the sustentation of themselues , and their families . Many a man is idle and slouthful , because labour and toyle is irkesome and painful to him , as Pro. 20.4 . The slouthful wil not plow be●ause of winter : but what is his reward ? it followeth , therefore shall he beg in sommer , and haue nothing . Pouertie is the fruite of slouthfulnesse . Pro. 10.4 . A slouthfull hand maketh poore . And least any man should thinke that he could keep away pouertie , at least a great while : it is said in Pro. 24.34 . that it commeth violently , and with great power , and swiftly vpon such a man , and hee shall not withstand it : Thy poue●tie commeth as a light traueller , and thy necessitie as an armed man . In the same place also the meanes whereby it commeth , is expressed . Vers. 30. He through folly nelected his ground , and left it vnfenced , and vntilled , and so it yeelded him no increase : which being there spoken of husbandrie , may bee drawne to a generall , that to let such things lie idle & vnused , which should bring in commoditie , is the high way to pouertie .

The slothful is further described to be a great wisher , and woulder , but no great householder . Sloth , gluttonie , and prodigalitie , are the true paths that conduct and leade men to pouertie . Pro 13.4 . The sluggard lusteth , but his soule hath nought . And Prouerbs . All the day long he wisheth , but his desire is not accomplished , which wasteth him with sorrow . Besides , he perswadeth himselfe , that he hath some sufficient stay or let to withhold him from diligent labour , and so dare not goe forward : as the Wiseman saith , Prouer. 15.19 . Pro. 26.13.14.15.16 . The way of the slothfull is a hedge of thornes . And in another place he saith , Pro. 22.13 . A lion is in the way . But in trueth it is ease and lazines , that letteth him . As the doore turneth vpon the hinges , Pro. 26.16 . so doth the slothfull in his bed . And to shew , that such a man is in a down hill to beggerie , Salomon saith , that he thinketh himselfe very wise in his doing : Pro. 24.30.31.32 . The sluggard is wiser in his owne conceit , then seuen men that can render a reason . What hope is there of sauing of him , that the begger catch him not , who pleaseth himselfe in his sloth , which doth summon him to beggerie ? That also is not to be omitted , that such a sluggard ( who suffereth his ground to be ouer-growne with thornes and nettles , stones , or thistles ) serueth in the world for an example to make other men warie . Vnder this is that same luskishnes which maketh men loue their ease and sleepe , which bringeth forth the same fruit that sloth doth . The sleeper shall be clothed with rags , Pro. 23.21 . And therefore the Wiseman laboreth to draw men from it . Pro. 20.13 . Loue not sleepe , least thou come to pouertie : open thine eies , and thou shalt be satisfied with bread .

2. Idle company keeping . Another enemie to diligence , is , following of vaine and idle companie . For though a man be eager minded toward his busines , yet by vaine and idle companie , he shall be drawne away to other delights , and lose his good houres , & let goe the occasion of doing some things in the fit season . Therefore Salomon saith , Pro. 12.11 . The man that followeth the idle , is destitute of vnderstanding . And againe , that he shall come to no better passe , then the idle man . Pro. 28.19 . He that followeth the idle , shall be filled with pouertie . This harme getteth he by haunting vain company , and lewd persons . For as sweet waters , are corrupted and spoiled with lewd persons , when they run into waters which are salt , bitter , or vnholsome , and so loose the vertue thereof . Euen so hee that ioyneth himselfe in friendship , and doth couple himselfe in familiaritie , with wicked and vngodly men , None can walke in simplicitie before God , that delighteth in the company of the vngodly . becommeth wicked and vngodly himselfe , and is stayned and blemished with their vices , although heretofore hee had bin inclined to vertue and godlinesse . For , A little leauen ( saith the Apostle ) doth leauen the whole lump . 1. Cor 5.6 .

Pastime also carieth many from their callings , 3. Pastime . and likewise from thrift . Pro. 21.17 . Hee that loueth pastime , shall be a poore man . Lewd pastime causeth naked purses . Which being a punishment threatned of God against that euill , though a man would be warie of loosing much at play , Thrift consisteth not in gold , but in grace . yet the Lord might some other way bring him to pouertie , and so punish him , for his corrupt delight in that thing , which the Scripture hath so branded .

Lastly , vnto true diligence , 4. Great reckoning . Salomon opposeth and setteth talking and great reckoning , of what they will do . Pro. 14.23 . In all labour there is aboundance , but the talke of the lips , bringeth onely want . For commonly such as make great account of their doings , when it commeth to dooing , can finde no fit time to begin .

Now , to finish this point of diligence to bee vsed in our calling , marke the good husbandrie which the spirit of God teacheth . Prou. 27.23 . Be diligent to know the state of thy flocke , and take heed to thy heards , for riches remaine not alwaies . Where he willeth men not to trust all to seruants , for the care of their cattel and other commodities , but to looke diligently to them themselues : the reason is , for that their riches be not so glewed to them , but that if they bee not carefully looked vnto , they will take their leaue and be gone . And so we see , it often comes to passe , that they which doe their busines by others , haue other to thriue for them .

But here peraduenture , some husbands and wiues will say : Ye speake much of good husbandrie , and good huswiferie ; but how would you haue them to be good husbands , and good huswiues , that haue not wherwith to be a good husband , or good huswife on ? Whereunto we answere , that good husbandrie and good huswifery , consisteth not so much in hauing much or little , as in the wise , carefull , discreet , & good forecasting of that , which God in mercie hath inabled and inriched them with , to see euery thing well ordered , and imployed to a good end and vse . For we by experience doe see , that some husbands , and wiues , can so husbandly and huswifely dispose , set forth , and make a fairer shew of a little , and cause it to stretch further , then many can do with much , and can do as much with twentie Nobles , as some can doe with twentie or thirtie pounds .

As a calling must be followed with diligence , so also there is wisedome , skill , and discretion to be vsed in it . For as in lifting of a great waight , a mightie strong man , wanting cunning , can not mooue that , though hee straine and bruse himselfe much , which a weake man will doe with a sleight . So dealing in any calling , some man shall toyle exceedingly much , and yet for want of wit and discretion , not doe halfe the good , that another shall with more ease : Prou. 13.23 . He that hath a trade , let him learne to be cunning in it , and able to goe through with it , Prou. 16.20 . And to the end he may walke on surer ground , let him not disdaine to aske aduise and counsell , for the praise of contriuing matters well , by his owne wit , is not so great , as is the losse and ignominie , when for want of counsell , a man entreth a wrong course . Besides , Salomon doth commend this wisedome vnto vs often , to take heede of hastinesse , headinesse , and selfe-will , and to beware of ouer-weening in our owne reach . Prou. 15.22 . Without counsel , thoughts , that is , intents and purposes , come to nought : but in the multitude of counsell , there is stedfastnes . And 20.18 . Establish thy thoughts by counsell , and by counsell make warre . Whereas on the other side , haste bringeth waste . Whosoeuer is hastie , that is , that rashly goeth about his businesse without counsell , commeth surely to pouertie . Pro. 21.5 . That is notable in the 29.20 . Seest thou a man hastie in his matter , there is more hope of a Foole , then of him . The same is said of the conceited man , Seest thou a man wise in his owne conceit ? there is more hope of a Foole then of him . Pro. 26.12 . When the Spirit of God doth so carefully commend this thing to vs , wee must needs thereby see , that it is a matter of great necessitie , and of excellent vse , for as the Prouerbe is , two eies see more then one . And many times , men see more clearelie in other mens matters , then in their owne . In this case also , it is good to looke to the examples of others , and our owne experience in such like cases , for much light commeth into a wise mans mind by this windowe . And to the ende , that thou mayest make thy vse of experience and examples , when occasion shall serue , it is good to marke things , which shall fall out , the beginnings , proceedings , and euents of matters , and keep them in minde to stand thee in stead : for hee that neuer maketh any thing , it is all one , as if hee had neuer seen or heard them , and such a one must alwaies bee running for counsell , in euery light matter , or else may take a wrong course , except hee can stumble on the right way by good hap . This obseruation and pondering of euents , with the causes that went before , is the ripener of wit . But idlemindednesse , and carelesse letting passe of matters , maketh an emptinesse in the head , of such good things , as make one man excell an other .

Thirdly , in following thy calling , let not iustice , Iustice is a vertue , that yeeldeth to euerie man his owne . and vpright dealing be forgotten , but order thy dealings by them . If there were no other , yet this reason should weigh with thee , that so thou mightest looke to reap good dealing at other mens hands , as it is said . Pro. 25.21 . He that followeth after righteousnesse , and mercie , shall finde life , righteousnesse and glorie . Where as such as measure out hard measure to others , they haue the like measured to them againe : according to the saying of our Sauiour Christ , besides the riches gotten by ill meanes , haue a heauie destinie vttered against them . The gathering of riches by a deceitfull tongue , is vanitie , tossed to and fro of them that seeke death . Pro. 21.6 .

As iustice and equal dealing toward all men must be looked vnto , so God will haue vs not to omit mercifulnesse , Mercifulnesse is a passion of the mind , towards those that vndeseruedly , and shamefully are afflicted , proceeding from those that be affected with pittie and compassion . and frendly dealing to the poore . Be not then so tied to thy businesse , that thou canst neuer looke out to the necessities of others , nor spare time to serue his occasions . Among many waies of helping the poore , which are commanded , this is one , to go or ride for them , to saue them from wrong , or to further them in their right , to be their mouth to plead for them , when by feare and simplicitie they cannot plead for themselues . And toward them especially a sparing hand is forbidden , and that with a sore item . Psalm. 16 3. Gal. 6.10 . Heb. 6.10 . and 13.16 . 1. Iohn . ● . ●6 . Prou. 22.9 . Prou. 25.13 . He that stoppeth his eare at the crying of the poore , he shall also crie and not bee heard . And liberalitie is perswaded with a sweet promise , and especially to the Saints , and faithfull . Pro. 19.17 . He that hath mercie vpon the poore , lendeth vnto the Lord , and the Lord will recompence him that which hee hath giuen .

If any feare , that if he tie himselfe so short , as neuer to passe the bounds of equitie , & besides open his hand so wide to the poore , he shal neuer liue and thriue of his calling , let him remember what is written , Prou. 16.3 . Commit thy works to the Lord , and thy thoughts shall be directed . And let that promise encourage him to follow the Lord ▪ whither soeuer he calleth , notwithstanding any feare or misdoubt . Besides , let him haue that in minde , which is in Pro. 28.22 . against couetousnes , & posting to be rich : A man with a wicked eie hasteth to be rich , and knoweth not that pouertie shall come vnto him . And againe in the 20. verse , He that maketh haste to be rich , shall not be innocent . Whereto agreeth that of S. Paul , 1. Tim. 6.9 10. He that wil be rich , falleth into tentation and snares , &c. Prou. 13.11 . and 20.21 .

Contentation is a Vertue , whereby a man is well pleased with that estate whe●ein he is placed . 1. Tim. 6.6.7 . Phil. 4 . 1●.12 . Matth. 6.11 . Heb. 13.5 . Hereunto men must ioyne Contentation , with that allowance , which God , as a wise Father , that knoweth what is best maketh vnto them : for a restlesse , and vncontented minde , breedeth haste-making to riches , dryeth vp the riuers of liberalitie , and setteth the conscience vpon the racke , and stretcheth it beyond the bounds of equitie and iust dealing , when hope of gaine is offered . Wherefore Salomon to preuent these euils in men , & to make them to like of their present estate , he telleth them , that Better is a little with righteousnes , then great reuenues without equitie . Pro. 16.8 . & 15.16.17 . Psal. 37.16 . And in the 20. chapter , there is a double reason set downe of this : first , that store gotten with wrong , breedeth a sore trouble , Esa. 33.1 . Pro. 22.22.23 . Eccles. 5.7 . and 4.1 . sometime of mind and conscience , and sometimes outward , while the right owner of the goods , suffereth him not to go so quietly away with them : or God stirreth thee vp an enemie , mightier then thy selfe , that shall pull from thee , as thou didst from another . The second is , that such haue the hatred of many , for that which they purloine , or get by wrong & oppression , which a good man would not haue , for so small commoditie . Hitherto we haue shewed what thou must looke vnto in following thy calling . Now follow other things , not vnworthie to bee thought vpon , of him that would prouide for his family well . To spare , that thou maiest haue to spend in honestie and necessitie for Gods sake , is well done . Though we would not haue a man faine himselfe poore , and a niggard , when he hath aboundance , as a number do , by whyning and complaining , without cause , who are neither good to the common wealth , nor kinde to themselues . Yet it is not wisedome to carrie a higher port and countenance in the world , A thing is sooner spared then got●en . then a mans abilitie will warrant : such shall be enuied , so longe as they doo beare it out by the hard-edge , Cut thy coate according to thy cloath , and eat within thy teder . they shal be laide at for charges : and if through necessitie , in the end they be faine to yeeld , they shall be scorned of their enuiers , and little pittied of all others . Wherefore it is wisedome rather to beare a low saile , and to keepe within compasse , and rather to come short of that thou mightest do remembring that , which is , Pro. 12.9 . He that is despised , and is his owne man , is better then hee that boasteth himselfe , and lacketh bread .

Againe , as they which loue to pearke aloft and desire to bee caried with a full sayle , by the winde a a Ambition is an vnlawfull or wicked desire of glorie , namely , when a man seeketh to be aboue al other in honour , and seeketh to effect the same , by vnnecessarie and vniust actions , besides his vocation , trusting to his owne wisedome and strength . of Ambition , and b b Vaine glorie is a certaine disordinate desire to be well thought of , well spoken of , praised , and glorified of men . vaine glorie , rather then to haue sea-roome , do oftentimes rush vpon the rocks of want , and there sticke till they sincke , so they , which in feare of such rocks , choose to ride with halfe or quarter saile , where they haue not roome at will , are more safe from danger , and may more conueniently prouide against a tempest . Yea , they may so saile about them , that when God shal remoue them hence , they shal not be constrained to leaue their children to the wide worlde , which thing , nature bindeth a man thereunto .

An other rule may bee drawne out of that , which is Pro. 10.5 . A wise sonne gathereth in summer : but he that sleepeth in haruest , is the son of confusion . Where he teacheth , that when a man spieth an oportunitie of honest gaine , and commoditie , he is to follow that , while the time serueth , but he that for a small matter , letteth slip occasions , and reckoneth of this time , and that time , this day , and that day , thinking then to haue more fit oportunitie , that will bnng all to nothing .

A good neighbour ( saith one ) is a good thing . Agreeable to this , Salomon saith . Pro. 17.17 . A friend loueth at all times . And 18.24 , A friende is nearer then a brother . As if hee should say , there is many a friend that is more kind then a brother , & more readie to do pleasure , then he that is more bound by nature and dutie . He saith also Pro. 27.9 . As oyntment and perfume reioyce the heart , so doth the sweetnesse of a mans friend by heartie counsell . That is also notable , which is , Verse . 17. Jron sharpeth Iron , so doth a man the face of his friend . To wit , because mutual communication of friends , one with an other , quickneth the spirit , and cheareth the heart .

All these places containe motiues , to giue heede to this exhortation , Verse , 10. Thine owne friende , and thy fathers friende forsake not , neither enter into thy brothers house in the day of thy calamitie : for better is a neighbour that is neere , then a brother that is far off . In the ende of the eighteenth Chapter . Verse . 24. hee sheweth how a man shall preserue this treasure which is so good . A man that hath friends , must shew himselfe friendly . Hereto agreeth that of the heathen : he that would haue a good neighbour , must be a good neighbour . In the 24.27 . Verse . He seemeth to giue a rule for the right order of managing a mans Household affaires ; saying : Prepare thy worke without , and make readie thy things in the field , & afterward thou maist build thine house . As though hee should say , first looke after such things as are needfull and necessarie for house-keeping , as that thou maist haue prouision , &c: and then , when that is prouided for , thou maist fall a trimming vp of thy house . But many fooles , beginne first to decke their houses , before they lay for necessaries , and are faine afterwards to sell their ornaments with losse , to prouide more necessarie matters . It is a good point of wisedome , to beare the want of that longest , which may best be spared .

Sparing is good getting , and the greatest rent that one can haue . The last rule is , that a good gouernour of a familie , for the better maintenance of his familie , must be frugall ( or to speake english ) a good husband , that is sparing and sauing , and so to order and moderate himselfe , that if his goods and reuenues bee not sufficient for him and his charge , then to make himselfe sufficient for his goods : and to dispose of himselfe according to the olde prouerbe : So to cut his coate according to his cloth , and to eate within his owne tether . Yet we would not haue him pinching , or niggardly , and so dried vp for liberalitie , that nothing should be wroong from him for good vses : that is , too farre on the left hand , as prodigalitie is on the right . But where there is no iust cause to spend or lay out , and it might be as well spared , there we would haue him saue , for his riches be the Lords goods , which God hath made him a steward of : when the Lorde therefore wils him to open his hand there let him not be straight handed : but where nothing but vnrulie lusts and pomp , or vain glory , bid him drawe , there is hee to hold fast : for hee is an ill steward , that will lay out his maisters goods where there is no need , or where lesse would serue . There be many , who of a greedy and couetous mind , will easily imbrace this precept of sparing : but as they do it of a wrong purpose , so they faile in the matters , wherein they should saue and bee sparing . Many misers pinch their seruants in their meate and drinke , allowing them not inough , or not good inough , and this they take to be frugalitie and thrift : whereas to prancke , and pricke vp themselues in brauery , and that sometimes aboue their calling , herein they are very lauish . This is no more to be counted frugalitie , or good husbandrie , then to rob a poore man , to giue to the rich , is true liberalitie . When therefore thou thinkest of sparing let not the greedie desire of gathering draw thee to it , but conscience of well vsing that which God hath lent thee . And this mind will draw thee to spare and saue , onely there , where it may be wel done , and not there , where in conscience thou oughtest to spend . Now the better to further our selues in this honest thriftinesse , or frugality , that is called of one , a great reuenew , the occasions of needlesse expences must bee auoided . Loue not mirth and pastime , for they haue oft occasion of expences . Againe , they cause losse of time , and neglect of businesse at home , yea , and often such doo buy their pleasures with losse in their goods , while retchlesse maisters haue either theeuish , or carelesse seruants . Therfore Salomon telleth such their fortune Pro. 11.17 . Hee that loueth mirth or pastime , will bee a poore man .

Secondly , a sweete tooth , & a veluet mouth , that is , daintinesse , or choicenesse in diet , is an enimie to frugalitie , a needlesse charge , to delight the taste for a moment , whereas wholesome meat and drinke , would be more ease for the purse , and healthfull for the bodie . He that loueth Wine and Oyle , that is , sweete delicats for his sences , will not be rich . Pro. 27.17 .

In this ranke doo march gluttonie , I meane cramming and pampering the bodie ; Gluttonie is a vice , when any doth cram and fill his body with ouermuch meate . and also drunkennesse . These dul the mind and wit , darken reason , and make a man become sottish . Besides , they stuffe the body with grosse humours , which breed diseases , and diseases bring other charges for phisicke , or at least , losse of time , and neglect of businesse , which doo cost a man as much as his diet , wherein hee was excessiue , so that these euills haue double expences .

To be briefe in this point , God hauing read the destinie of the drunkard , Drunkennesse is a vice , when any doth gull in ouermuch drinke . and the glutton , namely , that many euils , and namelie pouertie , shall betide them , Pro. 23.21.29.30.31 . By some way or other , God will effect his iudgement , for no one peece of his word , shall fall to the ground .

A great backfriend to thrift , is good-fellowship , and companie keeping : for it hath losse of time , and draweth thee away from thy calling , and hindereth the due ouerseeing of good husbands affaires : it maketh a man ouerslippe occasions of doing good things in a due and fitte season : besides , it draweth home others to thy house , or draweth thee to other houses , as Tauernes , Alehouses , & such like ; the haunting wherof , is a thing of no good report : and it maketh thee lauish in spending , or else it is no good-fellowship , ( as they say ) & by meanes therof , thou shalt feede the gluttons , and spend that vppon others , which belongeth to thine owne familie : which Salomon saith , Pro. 28.7 . Is a shame to thy father .

Thy companie keeping , hath many other enormities : Hee that toucheth pitch , shall be defiled therewith . And as hee is a partie with them in their euils , so shall he bee also in their punishment . Pro. 13.20 . The companion of fooles shall be afflicted . Wherfore auoide such , and rather follow the wise : Pro. 11.13.32 . He that walketh with the wise , shall be wise : who are they ? euen they that haue the lippes of knowledge , whose words teach good things . But such whose talke is nothing but froth , their words vnsauerie , and bring no good to the hearer , though there be no outward euill in their liues , yet they must not be admitted for companions , further then vpon some vrgent occasion , thou must deale with them : Pro. 14.7 . Depart from the foolish man , when thou perceiuest not in him the lips of knowledge .

As to haue a faithfull friend , is a matter auailable to thrift ; so by his friends a man may bee endammaged . There is a friendship , which is very costly , and chargeable to maintaine . Hee that desireth familiaritie with great men , must haue other things suteable ; as costly apparell , well trimmed houses , often inuitings to bankets , to recompence their kindnes , he must follow their humours , and not stick to neglect his affaires , to haue their companie when he may . This will cost a man sweetly : but what shall he gaine ? A friendly countenance before his face , and perhaps a drie flout behind his backe , especially if things goe not well with him for the world : then oh it is pitie , a frank-hearted man , no bodies foe , but his owne : and such like . Salo●on giueth thee warning of this kinde of friendship , Pro. 23.1 , 2 , 3.

There is another mans friendship , which Salomon would haue thee to auoide , as hurtfull vnto thee , Pro. 22.24 . Prou. 18.19 . Make no friendship with an angrie man , neither goe with the furious . The cholerick man though neuer so good a fellow , while he ●s pleased , yet is soone turned to hate thee . And no heauier foe , then hee that was a friend , which Salomon declareth : Vers. 20. A brother offended , is harder to winne , then a strong citie , and their contentio●s are like the barre of a pallace . If a man could alwaies keepe in with the angrie man ( which cannot bee done without putting vp many iniuries ) yet may that bee hurtfull . For the Wiseman addeth , L●●st thou learne his waies : that is become like to him in furiousnes . And that is as hurtfull on the other side , for the furious man aboundeth in transgressions : Prou. 29.25 . which doe often cost him the setting on , euen from men , who being by his rage hurt , or reproached , doe watch their occasions to worke him some woe . Whereupon we say in a common prouerb : The angrie man neuer wanteth woe . There bee also Trencher-friends , who to winne fauour and good-will , will smooth it in words , fawne , and glauer , they will say as you say , and bring you tales of your enemie , so to feede your humour , that he may winde within you : a beast that biteth sorest of al tame beasts . For while a simple-hearted man suspecteth no hurt , he watcheth his occasions to speede himselfe of a bootie : a matter that by the counsell of the holy Ghost oft repeated in the Prouerbs , is as carefully to be auoided , as it is hurtfull to a mans estate . If he can do none of these , yet hee hath not lost his labour , for he had many a good welcome for his faire talke . And by often resorting to thy house , he hath furnished himselfe with some thing to discredite thee , except thou hast walked marueilous warily , which a man can hardly doe before flatterers .

To end this matter of friendship , haue some neere friends but not many . Choose the best natured , and the best graced , that is , such as besides single-hartednes , and plaine simplicitie , are by grace brought to haue conscience of their dealing . And least vnder a shew of simplicitie , wilinesse should bee hid , trie before you trust , and grow into familiaritie not all at a push , but by steps . Tell things of no great secrecie , as secrets to trie their taciturnitie . Be not ouer credulous vpon sight of a little kindnesse , to account them amongst thy neerest friends . Many haue been wiped of their commodities , by falsehood in fello●ship . Some haue been betraied by vntrustie friends , and brought into great troubles . Many opening their mindes to b●●bs that can keepe nothing , haue their purposes openly knowne , and scanned before they can compasse them , and so are oftentimes preuented through the malice of their enuiers . Wherefore , except a man can finde a faithfull friend indeede , it is good to remember the olde saying : My secrets to my selfe . Whereto our common prouerbe answereth : Two may keepe counsell , if one bee away . The Wiseman ascribeth it to follie , to powre out a mans secrets lightlie : The foole powreth out all his minde , Pro. 29.11 . but the wise man keepeth it in .

As hurt commeth by some friends , so also by enemies many are sore annoyed . What charges in lawing , and other troubles , bee there in the world through enmitie ? Wherefore it is good wisedome , by all good meanes to auoide breaches , which breede enmitie : and by all friendlie , iust , and wise dealing , to keepe peace and good-will euen with the meanest . The weakest enemie is not to bee contemned . It shall goe harde , but at one time or other , hee will worke thee some displeasure : at least his mouth shall alwaies bee open to speake ill , to misconster thy actions , and to blaze abroad thy infirmities , & scapes . Hee that would haue no enemies , must make himselfe none , by vniust , vnkinde , or vnneighbourlie dealing : but rather by courteousnes of speech , helpfulnes , and good neighbourhood , to winne the loue and liking of men : yet a man may be too wise in this point . Many being loth to incurre any mans displeasure , will not seeke to vpholde right and equitie , speake for the poore , stand out to maintaine Gods cause , when he is dishonoured by open sinne : as swearing , lying , rayling , and such like . Many to keepe in withall , vse all companies alike : for auoyding a mans companie , breedeth a grudge . But the good will of men , is neuer to be purchased with forsaking of dutie . Such things as may iustly be ill taken , auoide for peace sake . Whereof the Wiseman noteth some : as , medling in other mens matters : Prou. 26.17 . He that medleth with a strife , that belongeth not to him , is as he that taketh a dogge by the eares : that is , casteth himselfe into dangers .

Prou. 29.9.10 . 2. Be not hastie to go to law , no not in a right cause , but agree at home . For besides that , a man doth seldome scape without great losse , ( in which respect it is also to bee auoided , as an enemie to thrift ) thy neighbour is openly put to reproach , becommeth thy mortall enemie , and will alwaies watch to doe thee hurt .

Pro. 20.22.24.25 . 3. Sometime to seeke reuenge of a wrong , breedeth greater malice in the author of the wrong , and maketh him double it , as a man spurreth his horse for kicking , when hee was spurred . Say not , I will recompence euill : but wait vpon the Lord , and he will saue thee .

4. Oft haunting of another mans house , may bring thee into mislike : wherefore the Wiseman saith , Prou. 25.17 . Withdraw thy foote from thy neighbours house , least he bee wearie of thee , and hate thee . If by carefull auoyding of all iust occasions , thou canst not auoid ill will ( as the world loueth none but her owne ) neuer seeke to win fauour , by departing from dutie . But commit thy selfe to God , and turne thy minde to make vse of thine enemie . Let enmitie , which is alwaies prying and seeking occasions to hurt by word or deede , make thee to walke , not more closely , but more vprightly : and then mayst thou defie thine enemie : Prou. 10.9 . For he that walketh vprightly , walketh boldly .

Another enemie to thrift , ( which is also a breaker of peace and good will among men ) is much borrowing . He that is to borrow , doth spend much time , and let slip many occasions of doing his businesse in the due season : hee must repay in better measure than he borrowed , or else ill words , or ill will will follow . If it bee a matter of any value , which is borrowed , then as Salomon saith , Prou. 22.7 . The borrower is seruant to the lender : that is beholding to him , and in his danger . The thriftiest men loue least to bee beholden to others , and therefore seldome seek , and often refuse , euen when they bee offered to receiue benefits at other mens hands . He that goeth a borrowing , goeth a sorrowing . And euery deniall he receiueth , where he thinketh he should speed , is the seede of grudge in the mind of the denier , and of him who is denied . But of all borrowing , to borrow vpon vsurie is the deerest buying , and the rankest poyson to thrift . When Dauid would wish a sore plague to his enemie , he prayeth that he may be giuen into the vsurers hands : Let the vsurer eate him vp . If the vsurer be a deuourer , woe be to them that come in his hands .

To auoide borrowing , a good husband must cut off all vnnecessarie expences , that hee may haue all necessaries in his house . To auoide borrowing of money , take heede of suertiship , of dealing in bargaines which you are not fully able to compasse , of dealing in many things , and hauing too many yrons in the fire at once . Looke how you can compasse matters , before you enterprise them Prouide long before against any day of payment , and haue not monie to seeke vpon the sudd●n : for that driues a man to borrowing , yea to vsurie , or to Robin Hoods penyworths .

Besides , he must keepe none in his house idle , or halfe set to worke , none more then needes must . Let euery one haue his charge , that will throughly occupie him : also looke that they doe their tasks , euery one in his place , and haue an often eie vnto them , whether they haue done as they should doe . The masters eye maketh a fat horse : so also the mistris eye makes a friendly dairie . Except you haue rare seruants , and such as truly feare God , and haue good consciences , trust them not further then you see them , except necessitie driue you .

Hitherto of the duties that be belonging to the chiefe ruler of the familie , that is , the husband , The wiues dutie , touching the things of this life . touching honest prouision for it . Now seeing that God hath ioyned the wife to her husband as an helper , she must helpe him in the prouision for her familie , so much as lieth in her power , and is meete for her to doe . And indeed her industrie and wisedome may doe so much herein , that though her husband should bee much wanting in his dutie , yet shee might holde in the goale . Thus many haue done , and so Salomon saith , the wise woman will do : A wise woman buildeth her house . But it is not euery womans case , Prou. 14.1 . because that all are not wise , as she that Salomon speaketh of . This wise woman is elsewhere called a gracious woman , Prouerbs 11.16 . And a vertuous w●man , Prou. 12.4 . because many graces and vertues meete together in her .

For she is to her Husband dutifull , Dutifulnesse or dutifull wil , is that which doth shine in the declaration and performance of duties . faithfull , and louing . Those of her familie , wise and prudent . In her busines , diligent and painfull . To her neighbours , modest , humble , kinde and quiet .

First , if she be not subiect to her husband to let him rule all househo●d , especially outward affaires : if she will make head against him , and seeke to haue her owne waies , there will b● doing and vndoing . Things will goe backward , the house will come to ruine : for God wil not blesse where his ordinance is not obeyed . This is allowable , that she may in modest sort shew her minde , and a wise husband will not disdaine to heare her aduise , and follow it also , if it bee good . But when her way is not liked of , though it bee the best way , she may not therevpon set all at sixe and seuen , with what should I labour and trauaile : I see my husband taketh such waies , that hee will bring all to nothing . This were nothing els , but when she seeeth the house falling , to helpe to pull it downe faster Salomon saith , The wise woman buildeth her house ; much more then doth she vnderprop it , and holde it vp , that by her husbands vndiscreet dealing , it be not pulled downe . She must not thinke her selfe freed from dutie , because he walketh not in his dutie , but holde her place , and labour for her part , to vpholde all , and so God will either blesse the worke of her hands , to the maintenance of the house , or giue her husband more wisedome and care , or else giue her a contented minde with a low estate , which is great riches . One point of subiection , is to be content with such apparell and outward port , as her husbands estate can allow her . They faile in this , who by importunitie and disquietnesse , wring from their husbands , more then hee can well cut out of his reuenues , or gettings .

It is a part of vnfaithfulnesse , 2. Faithfull . secretly to purloyne and powle from him , for to pranke vp her children , or her selfe , her house and chambers in brauerie : and besides , it is a close vndermining of her house .

Loue and peaceablenesse in the wife towards the husband , 3. Louing . Loue is a naturall affection of the minde , inflaming all the powers of the Louer , with willing dutie towards the beloued . is auaileable for the weale of the familie , for where they agree louingly , there they counting the good of the one , the benefit of the other , doe ioyntly watch against all such things in their familie , as might endammage it . There the seruants knowing that in pleasing one , they shall please both : and contrariwise , be carefull in all things to ▪ deale well : whereas diuision in the gouernours , maketh partaking in the seruants , and then they care not for pleasing , but onely that side , which they affect . And such kinde of seruice is but smally beneficiall to thriuing . It can hardly be auoyned , but there will bee some squaring and dibersitie betweene the man and his wife : but they must labour to compose such matters priuately and quickly , that they grow not to breaches , for they bee dangerous to thrift . Let there be therfore reasonings secretly betweene themselues , of such matters as might breede a skarre : but let them bee soone ended after the occasion is offered , before the mindes be much exasperated . Let there bee no hard words of either side , nor opening of olde matters . Let it bee done priuately betweene themselues , and not before children , or seruants : for they will not sticke to carie tales , to please the humours of the partie to whom they are most affected . Besides , they will spie your infirmities , and grow to a lesse regarde of you , and they will blaze abroad such matters to your discredit .

A good huswife is a great patrimonie , ● she is most honourable , that is most honest and godly . A good sauer is as good as a good getter . Now for her behauiour towards her seruants and children , if it bee prudent and with wisedome , it doth much good in a house : but it containeth many points . That which her care for the most part tendeth vnto , is sauing . She that will be a good sauer , must not be a slender huswife , but skilfull in all points , whereof she shall haue vse in her familie . She must not let her maides haue their owne waies , for want of sk●ll : but she must bee able to direct and prescribe , what and how , in euery busines . Where she hath little skill , by reason of her education , she must bee carefull by conferring , and marking to learne skil , against she is to deale in such things , that she may bee able to direct her seruants , and to finde them out when they haue done amisse . As a word spoken in his place , is like apples of gold with pictures o● si●uer , Prou. 15.11 . euen so is a businesse or worke done in a fit and due time . She must haue a good forecast to contriue and dispatch things in due time , and good order , that necessaries bee not wanting when they should be vsed , and confusion doe not make more labour then is needfull . She must bee wise , to marke the n●ture of her seruants and children , to deale with them as their natures require , for the training of them to her hand . All must not bee dealt withall one way : and yet many haue no way but one to deale withall : and that is chiding , and brauling , and that they fall out vpon euery occasion , which wearieth seruants , and maketh often chaunges , discourageth children , and maketh both careles whether they doe their duties or no● yea it breedeth stubbornnes , frowardnes , and contempt in their mindes . She must bee wise , to marke and see what needles burthens , vnnecessarie expences and losses there doe vpon occasions fall out within doores , and preuent such occasions afterwards . Shee must know the best waies of doing things to greatest vse , with least charges . Briefly , she must know which way to saue a peny , and lay about her to saue it , for many a litle maketh a great deale . She must know what is meete for seruants , what for workemen , and what not : what is meete for ordinary , and what is meete for strangers . Aboue all , she must know how to keepe within her compasse , and yet to auoide the reproach of a pincher ; she must know what seruants may doe within the compasse of so much time , and what is aboue their strength . She must haue a diligent eye to the behauiour of her seruants , what meetings and greetings , what tickings and toyings , and what words and countenances , there be betweene men and maides , least such matters being neglected , there follow wantonnesse , yea follie within their houses , which is a great blemish to the Gouernours . Painfulnes is a labour or indeuour vnto wearines , to bring any thing to passe . In her businesse she must be diligent and painefull . Hitherto belongeth that , Pro. 31.15 . She riseth before day : and verse 18. Her candle is not put out by night . She borroweth of the morning and the euening , for to dispatch her businesse ▪ When she is vp , doth she sit downe and cap a stoole ? No , shee looketh that her seruants haue their necessaries , that they may goe soone to their worke : she setteth her maides to worke : and tasketh them , to keepe them occupied : yea , she suffereth none to be idle in her house , but either doing somewhat that is profitable , or else learning somewhat , that is meete for them . She must not thinke to sit and commande , but she must be a stirrer in euery place , to o●ersee whether dutie bee done of all hands , and that in good sort : yea , and to quicken the d●●igence of her familie , and that things may be well done , shee must be at an end of euery great worke : sometimes setting to her hands to encourage the doer , sometimes gently teaching , sometimes commending , sometimes speaking faire , but neuer brawling : sometimes shewing what is a misse , in gentle language , letting them see what losse commeth by ill dooing of a thing . Sometimes friendly putting them in mind , how by slouth , forgetfulnesse , or sluttishnesse , they shall get an ill name for their seruice , and so become turne-awaies from euery good house . She must lay a diligent eye to her household-stuffe in euery Roome , that nothing be embezeled away , nothing spoyled or lost for want of looking to , nothing mard by ill vsage , nor nothing worne out by more vsing then is needefull , nothing out of place , for things cast aside , are deemed to be stolen , and then there followeth vncharitable suspitions , which breedeth much disquietnesse . And though nice Dames thinke it an vnseemely thing , for them to soyle their hands about any householde matters , and therefore if they doe any thing , it is but pricking of a clout : yet the vertuous woman ( as Prou. 31.17 . ) Girdeth her loynes with strength , and strengthneth her armes : that is , she setteth her selfe painefully about some worke that is profitable , for she selleth it afterward : verse 24. Yea , the particular worke is described . Shee seek●th wooll and flaxe , &c. shee putteth her hand to the wherue , and her hands handle the spindle : she maketh Carpets . The meaning is , that she getteth some matter to worke on , that shee may exercise her selfe and her familie in , and it is not some idle toy , to make the world gay withall , but some matter of good vse : Her familie is cloathed with double , and her Husband is knowne in the gate , hee is so comely and trimlie apparelled by her diligence at home , that hee is in regarde among men , and knowne where he goeth .

But what neede such as can liue by their lands , to labour with their hands ? What neede had the woman that Salomon speaketh of . The conscience of doing good in the world , should draw them to doe that , which no neede driueth them vnto . Remember that the vertuous woman stretcheth out her hand to the poore and needie , Prou. 31.20 . She giueth not of her husbands , she giueth of her owne , she found away to doe good , without the hurt of her husband . S. Paul requireth , 1. Tim. 2.10 . that women should array themselues with good workes , the comeliest ornament in the world , if women had spirituall eyes , Acts. 9.36 . to discerne it . Dorcas in the Acts , teacheth wiues how to get this array , for shee made garments to cloath the naked and the poore . Thus might women finde how to set themselues a worke , though they could liue of their owne . But such as haue but a meane allowance , God thereby sheweth , that he will haue them occupie themselues in some honest labour , to keepe them from idlenesse : and the euils that issue there-from . They therefore must labour , if not to sell cloth , as Salomons woman did , not to cloath the poore , as Dorcas did , yet to cloath her family , that they may not care for the colde . Let her auoide such occasions as may draw her from her calling . She must shake off slouth , and loue of ease : she must auoide gosseping , further then the lawe of good neighbourhoode doth require . S. Paul would haue a woman a good home-keeper . The vertuous woman is neuer so well , as when shee is in the middest of her affaires . She that much frequenteth meetings of gosseps , seldome commeth better home : some count it a disgrace to come much abroad , least they should be counted gosseps : which name is become odious : but they must haue tatlers come home to them , to bring them newes , and to hold them in a tale , least they should be thought to be idle without a cause . They perceiue not how time runneth , nor how vntowardly their busines goeth forward , while they sit idle . They know not , that great tale-bringers , be as great carriers , and that such make their gaine of carrying , & recarrying . The wise woman will be warie , whom shee admitteth into her house , to sit long there , knowing that their occupation is but to marke & carrie . Towards her neighbours she is not sowre , but courteous , not disdainefull to the basest , but affable , with modestie : no scorner , nor giber , but bearing with infirmities , and making the best of things : not readie to stomacke them for euery light matter , and so to looke big : but passing by offences , for vnities sake , not angrie , but milde : not bold , but bashfull : not full of words , powring out al in her mind , & babling of her household matters , that were more fitter to be concealed , but speaking vpon good occasion , and that with discretion . Let her heare and see , and say the best , and yet let her soone breake off talke , with such in whom shee perceiueth no wisedome , nor fauour of grace . Let her not be light to beleeue reports , nor readie to tell them againe , Silence is a grauitie , when she abstaineth and holdeth her peace from speaking when it doth not become her to speake . to fill the time with talke : for silence is farre better , then such vnsauorie talke . Let her not be churlish , but helpefull in all thinges , to preuent breaches , or else to make them vp againe , if by the waiwardnesse of others there be any made . Let her not be enuious , but glad of the good of others , not fond of euery thing that she seeth her neighbours haue , but wisely considering what is meet for her selfe , and what her state will beare . Let her not beg a wish in apparell , but sober and modest : not nice nor coy , but handsome and huswifelike : no talker of other mens matters , not giuen to speake ill of any , for feare of the like measure , Matth. 7.2 .

1. The dutie of the Husband towards his Wife .

THis dutie cons●steth seuerally in these three points . First , that he liue with his wife discreetly , according vnto knowledge . Secondly , that hee bee not bitter , fierce , and cruell vnto her . Thirdly , that hee loue , cherish , and nourish his wife , euen as his owne bodie , and as Christ loued his Church , and gaue himselfe for it , to sanctifie it . But before we shall speake of these ●hree points , we will a little touch the originall and beginning of holy Wedlocke : what it is , when , where , how , and of whom it was instituted and ordained .

What wedlock is . Wedlocke or Matrimonie , is a lawfull knot , and vnto God an acceptable a a Math. 19.5.6 . yoking and ioyning together of b b Genes. 1.27 . 1. Cor. 6.16 . Ephes. 5.31 . Prou. 5.18.19 , 20. one man , and one woman , with the good consent of them both : to the end that they may dwell together in friendship and honestie , one helping and comforting the other , eschewing whoredome , and all vncleannesse , bringing vp their children in the feare of God : or it is a coupling together of two persons into one flesh , not to be broken , according vnto the ordinance of God : so to continue during the life of either of them : Genes. 2.24 . Malach. 2.14 . Rom. 7.3 .

Yoking and dwelling together what it is . By yoking , ioyning , or coupling , is meant , not onely outward dwelling together of the maried folkes , as to be ordinarily in a dwelling place , for the better performance of each other mutuall duties : Mat. 1.18 . 1. Cor. 7.10 , 12 , 13. 1. Pet. 3.7 . Ruth . 4.11 , 12 : but also an vniforme agreement of minde , and a common participation of bodie and goods : for as much as the Lord saith , Ge● . 2.24 . that they two shall be one flesh : that is , one bodie . This is to bee remembred , that Matrimonie or Wedlocke must not onely be a coupling together , but also it must bee such a coupling together as commeth of God , and is not contrarie to his word and will . For there be some mariages made , whom God coupleth not together , but carnall lust , beautie , riches , goods , and lands , flatterie , and friendship : in such mariages God is not thought vpon , and therefore they sin the more against him . These and such like mariages bee disliked and condemned in the Scripture : Genes. 6.1 , 2. Ezech. 10.1 , &c. Matth. 24.38 , 39. God did appoint and ordaine Matrimonie himselfe in Paradice , so that he is the author of the same , Gen. 2.20 . Yea , and our Sauiour Christ himselfe ( who being the very naturall sonne of God ) was borne in wedlocke ( although of a pure virgin ) did honour and commend Matrimonie , while he did vouchsafe to shew his first miracle ( Iohn 2.1 . ) at a mariage : whereby he did declare , that the Lord is able to make the bitternes of mariage sweet , and the scarcitie thereof to abound with plentie . And the Apostle giueth this excellent title to mariage : saying , that it is * * Mariage honoura●●● . 1. First for the Authour , which is God . 2. For the time , which was during the ●t●●e of Adams innocencie . 3. For the place , which was paradice . Honourable among all , Heb. 13.4 . that is , among all estates , and all nations . The institution of Matrimonie , is an indissoluble bond and knot , whereby the husband and wife are fastned together by the ordinance of God , and is e e 〈◊〉 . 2.24 . Matth. 19. ● . Mark . 10.7 . 1. Cor. 6.16 . Ephes. 5.31 . straighter then any other coniunction in the societie of mankinde . Insomuch , that it is a lesse offence to forsake father and mother , and to leaue them succourles , ( which notwithstanding ought by Gods commandement to be honored ) then it is to do the like toward his lawfull maried wife . Wherfore let them looke well what they doe , that are readie for light and small causes to separate man man and wife : seeing that Christ himselfe saith , Matth. 19.9 . That whosoeuer is separated from his wife , sauing for whoredome , and marrieth another , committeth adulterie .

This is a thing worthie to bee remembred , both on the behalfe of the Suter and Woer , as also on her part that is woed : namely , that they deale plainly and faithfully one with the other , and not guilefully , and craftily , goe about to deceiue one the other , in bodie or goods : for so doing , they shall neuer vse one the other so louingly , and commodiously , as they hoped and desired they might , when the one hath fraudulently , and deceitfully inticed and beguiled the other , either in bodie or substance : for naturally wee hate him , or her , that doth beguile vs . Neither is there any thing that displeaseth a man or woman more , then to lacke and faile of the thing they both hoped and looked for . And therefore it were conuenient , and also much better , that both parties should disclose the one to the other , such imperfections , infirmities , and wants , in either of their bodies , as also the mediocritie and meannesse of their goods and substance , as in truth it is : yea though it should be with the perill and losse one of the other , rather then the one to obtaine and get the other with fraud , guile , and discord .

But before wee shall come to speake of the causes of mariage , we purpose ( God so willing ) briefly to shew , how euery one that entendeth to marrie , should chuse him a meete , fit , and honest mate : for there lieth much weight in the wise election and choise of a wife . Gen. 2.18 . As hee that will plant any thing , doth first consider the nature of the ground , in the which he mindeth to plant : euen so much more ought a man to haue respect to the condition of the woman , out of whom hee desireth to plant children , the fruits of honestie and welfare .

The first thing that is to bee remembred of such a one as mindeth to marrie , is , Such as are of kindred in the flesh , may not contract matrimonie . that hee doe not chuse his wife within such degrees of consanguinitie and affinitie , as are by f f Leuit. 18.6 . &c. Gods law forbidden . Secondly , g g Deut. 7.3 . 2. Cor. 6.14.15 . &c. Religion and faith must be considered , least he make diuorce of the true faith , or bring it into perill . For although hee thinke himselfe as wise as h h 1. King . 11.4 . Salomon , and as strong as i i Iudg. 16.17.18 . Sampson , yet may he bee ouercome as they were . Therefore great aduisement before hand , is to be taken in this behalfe , least afterwards with much griefe and sorrow of hart , he doe too late repent .

Now if any that hath matched himselfe with a wife that is an infidell , irreligious , or of a corrupt religion , and would put her away for this matter , herein he deceiueth himselfe , 1. Cor. 7.12.13 &c. 1. Pet. 3.1 . as the Apostle manifestly proueth : for wee must put a difference betweene that mariage that is made and done alreadie , and it , that is yet to doe . Wherefore he that is snared and matched with such a wife , as is either froward , wayward , or els is poysoned with superstition and poperie : in such a case he must call vpon God ; and liue in his feare , in faithfulnesse , in patience , and with discretion and godly counsell labour to winne her from the same . For like as that Husbandman doth with great labour and diligence till that ground , which hee hath once taken to farme , although it be neuer so full of faults : as if it be drie , if it bring forth weedes , b●ambles , or briers : or though the same ground cannot beare much wet ; yet through good husbandry he winneth fruit thereof . Euen so in like maner , he that hath maried a wife that is irreligious or froward , if he shall vse like diligence to instruct and order her minde , if he diligently and courteously apply himselfe to weede out by little and little the noysome weeds out of her minde , both by holesome and godly precepts , and by Christian conuersation ; it cannot bee but in time he shall feele the pleasant fruit thereof , to both their comforts : for as it is commonlie said , a good Iacke maketh a good Gill. Euery one therefore that purposeth to marrie , ought also to remember that there be three maner of riches in man . Three maner of riches in man . 1. The riches of the minde . 2. The riches of the bodie . 3. The riches of temporall substance . The best and the most precious are the riches of the minde : as without which , the other two are more hurtfull then profitable .

The riches of the mind , Riches of the minde . are the feare of God , faith , Gods glorie , knowledge of his will , sobernesse , liberalitie , chastitie , silence , humblenes , honestie , and such like vertues . These vertues lie not still , neither hide themselues wheresoeuer they be , but will break out diuers waies , so that they may well bee spied and discerned . As a traueller hath markes in his way , that he may proceede aright : so likewise the man or woman that intendeth to marrie , haue also marks in their waies , by which they may make a right choise . There bee certaine signes of this fitnes and godlin●s both in the man and in the woman . So that if the man be desirous to know a godly woman , or the woman would know who is a godly man , then let them obserue and marke these sixe points . Sixe rules to be obserued in the choise of a good wife , or a good husband . 1. The report . 2. The lookes . 3. The speech . 4. The apparell . 5. The companions . 6. And lastly , the education and bringing vp , which are like the pulses that shew whether a man be sick or whole , well or ill .

1. The report , 1. Report . name , or fame , he or she hath had , and yet haue , and what opinion honest folkes haue of them : because as the market goeth , so the market-men will talke . A good man and a good woman commonlie haue a good name , Prou. 10.7 . and 22.1 . Preach . 7.3 . because a good name is one of the blessings which God promiseth to good men and good women : Psal. 112.6 . but a good name is not to bee praised from the wicked : Luk. 6.26 . And therfore our Sauiour Christ saith , Woe be to you when all men speake well of you : that is , when euill men praise and commend you : for that is a plaine argument , that you are ambitious , vain-glorious , and of the world : For the world liketh and praiseth her own . Ioh. 15.19 . Neuerthelesse , it is conuenient that euery Christian should so liue in the world , that though he cannot say as Christ sayd , Ioh. 8.46 . Which of you can rebuke me of sinne ? Yet in truth , he with a good conscience may boldly say , Which of you can accuse me of lying , swearing , whoring , dissembling , dishonestie , deceit , couetousnesse , or such like . Which though no man can cleere himselfe in thought before God of these , and other notorious vices : yet euery one before men should auouch it , and approoue it in their doings : and liue so vprightly , holily , iustly , and vnblameably that none could iustly charge them with any open sinne : Luke 1.6 , 15. Iob. 1.1 . 1. Thess. 2.10 . and 3.13 . Tit. 2.12 . 1. Pet. 1.15 .

2. The looke . 2. The next signe is the looke : for as Salomon saith , Eccles. 8.1 . The wisedome of a man doth make his face to shine : that is , procureth him fauour and good liking : Pro. 17.24 . so also godlinesse is in the face of a man or woman : and so likewise folly and wickednesse may many times be seene and discerned by the face of a man or woman . And therfore it is said in Esay , Esay . 3.9 . The triall of their countenance testifieth against them . As though their lookes could speake : Psalm. 18.27 . and 101.5 . Iob. 31.1 . and therefore wee reade of proude lookes , and angrie lookes , and wanton lookes , because they bewray pride , and anger , and wantonnes . It is truly said , that a modest man dwels at the signe of a modest countenance , and an honest woman dwelleth at the signe of an honest face : which may fitlie bee compared to the gate of the Temple , that was called Beautifull : shewing , Act. 3.2 . that if the entrie be so beautifull , within is great beautie .

To shew how a modest countenance , Vnder faire faces , are sometimes hidden filthy mindes . & womanly shamefastnesse doe commend a chaste wife : it is obserued , that the word Nuptiae , which doth declare the maner of her mariage : for it importeth a couering , because virgins which should bee maried , when they came to their husbands , for modestie and shamefastnes did couer their faces : as wee reade of Rebecca , Genes. 24.65 . which when she saw Isaak , and knew that hee should bee her husband , she cast a vaile before her face : shewing that modestie should bee learned before mariage , which is the dowrie that God addeth to her portion .

3. The third signe is her talke , or speech , 3. The talke . or rather her silence : for a man or womans talking , is the mirrour and messenger of the minde , in the which it may commonly be seene without , in what case the man or woman is within , according to the common prouerbe . Such as the man or woman is , To Adam first , and to Moses after . such is their talke . Now silence is the best ornament of a woman , and therefore the law was giuen to the man , rather then to the woman , to shew that he should be the teacher , and she the hearer , and therefore she is commaunded to learne of her husband : 1. Cor. 14.34 , 35. As the Eccho answereth but one word for many , Maides must speake like an Eccho . which are spoken to her , so a maides answer should be in a word : for shee which is full of talke , is not likely to proue a quiet wife . The eye and the speech , are as the Glasses of the minde : For out of the aboundance of the heart ( saith our Sauiour ) the mouth speaketh : Matth. 12.34 . as though by the speech , wee might know what aboundeth in the heart , and therefore he saith : Matth. 12.37 . By thy words thou shall be iustified , and by thy words thou shalt be condemned . That is , thou shalt bee iustified to bee wise , or thou shalt be condemned to be foolish : thou shalt be iustified to be sober , or thou shalt be condemned to be rash : thou shalt be iustified to bee humble , or thou shalt bee condemned to be proud : thou shalt be iustified to be louing , or thou shalt be condemned to be enuious . Therefore Salomon saith : Prou. 18.7 . A Fooles lippes are a snare to his owne soule . Snares are made for other , but this snare catcheth a mans selfe , because it bewrayeth his follie , and causeth his trouble , and bringeth him into discredit . Contrariwise , The heart of the wise ( saith Salomon ) guideth his mouth wisely , Prou. 16.23 . and the words of his mouth haue grace .

Now to shew that this should be one marke in the choise of a wife , Salomon describing a right wife , saith : Prou. 31.26 . She openeth her mouth with wisedome , and the law of grace is in her tongue : for that she delighteth to talke of the word of God . A wife that can speake this language , is better than she which hath all the tongues . But as the open vessels were counted vncleane , Numb. 19.15 . so also account , that the open mouth hath much vncleannesse .

4. The fourth signe is the apparell : 4. Apparell . Luk. 16.19 . Mark . 1.6 . for as the pride of the Glutton is noted , in that he went in purple euery day ; so also the humilitie of Iohn is noted , in that hee went in haire-cloth euery day . For doubtlesse by a man or a womans apparell , excessiue laughter , and going , they may partly bee discerned of what disposition they are of . It is conuenient that he that will be a suter to a woman , that he marke what apparell she customably vseth to weare , whether it bee vaine , whorish , wanton , light , or comely , modest , and mannerly , and beseeming her estate and condition : to wit , honest and sober raiment . For apparell doth giue often a certaine and sure testimonie of pride , lightnesse , wantonnesse , inconstancie , vnshamefastnesse , filthinesse or vncleannesse , and other vices , or vertues , that be either in the man or the woman . For a modest man or woman , are for the most part knowne by their sober attire : 2. King . 1.8 . as the Prophet Eliah was knowne by his rough garment . So that wee are to looke for no better within , then we see without , for euery one seemeth better than they be : if the face be vanitie , the heart is pride . He that biddeth vs abstaine from the shew of euill , 1. Thes. 5.22 . would haue vs to abstaine from those meanes , husbands , or wiues , who haue the shewes of euill : for it is hard to come in the fashion , and not to be in the abuse . And therefore the Apostle saith : Rom. 12.2 . Fashion not your selues like vnto this world : as though the fashions of men did declare of what side they are .

5. Companie . 5. The fift signe is the companie , by means whereof , much may be perceiued : for as whole and sound eyes , with beholding and looking on sore eyes , bee annoyed and hurt , euen so good and honest folkes be oftentimes stained and hurt with the company of the wicked and vngodly , Men are commonly conditioned , euen like vnto them that they keepe companie withall . according to the common prouerbe : Such like is euery one , as the companie is with whome they keepe : for birdes of a feather will holde together ; and fellowes in sinne , will be fellowes in league : euen as young Rehoboam chose young companions : 1. King . 12.8 . The tame beast will not keepe with the wilde , Prou. 1.11 . and 13.20 . nor the cleane dwell with the leprous : If a man can be knowne by nothing else , Psalm. 6.8 . Numb. 16.26 . Iosu. 23.12 . 2. Chron. 19.2 . 2. Cor. 6.14 . Ephes. 5.7 . then he may be knowne by his companions : for like will to like , as Salomon saith : Theeues call one another . Therefore when Dauid left iniquitie , he saide : Away from mee all yee that worke iniquitie : shewing , that a man neuer abandoneth euill , vntill he abandon euill companie : for no good is concluded in this Parliament . Therefore choose such a companion of thy life , as hath chosen companie like thee before : for they which did chuse such as loued prophane companions before , in a short time were drawne to be prophane too .

6. The last signe is education , 6. The bringing vp . It skilleth more by whom , and by what waies men be brought vp , then of whom they be begotten . which giueth also great testimonie , namely by whome , and how euery one is brought vp , whether the man or the woman were conuersant among vertuous or vicious persons , and whether the parties haue continued in the nurture of the vertuous : and shewed themselues obedient to them , vnder whome they were brought vp , or whether either of the parties haue broken out of this discipline , and followed his , or her owne wilfulnes . For it is a small matter for either of them to haue dwelt among , or with vertuous and religious folke : but rather herein lieth the force and weight , how far , and how much , either or both the parties haue followed those , and profited vnder them , and were dutifull and obedient vnto them . For Iudas was among , and accompanied with the Apostles , brought vp certaine yeeres vnder Christ , but for all this , he was neuer the better : for he left not his wicked prancks , neither was he obedient . Neuertheles , good education and discipline formeth good manners : men and women commonly sauour most of those good or euill thinges , which in youth they learned . To be good , it doth much profite to be well brought vp . Therefore to prooue good , honest , and vertuous , it importeth and forceth much , from the infancie to bee well gouerned , and christianly brought vp for we retaine much more of the customes , wherewith we be bred , then of the inclinations wherewith wee bee borne .

All these properties are not spied at three or foure commings , and meetinges of the partie , for hypocrisie is spunne with a fine threed , and none are so often deceiued as louers . He therefore which will know all his wiues qualities : or shee that will perceiue her husbands dispositions , and inclinations , before either be married to them , had need to see one the other eating , and walking , woorking , and playing , and talking , and laughing , and chiding too : or else it may be , the one shall haue with the other , lesse then he or she looked for , or more then they wished for . Here is to be remembred , a thing adioyned to marriage , and going before it : namely , Betrothing , beeing a solemne and laudable custome of Gods children , as is proued , Deuteron . 20.7 . & 22.23 , 24. This Betrothing , What betrothing is . is a couenant betweene the parties to bee married , before fit witnesses appointed thereto : whereby they giue their troth , that they will , and shal marrie togither , except some lawfull vnmeetenesse and disliking of each of other , do hinder it in the meane time . The practise of it we see : Matth. 1.18 . Luke 1.27 . Where the Virgine Marie beeing betrothed to Ioseph , yet they had not mette togither , to wit , to accompany togither according to the ende of marriage . This custome , noted and marked in diuers places of the Scripture , hath diuers good grounds to be obserued , which proue , that there ought to be a contract before marriage . And for the ter vnderstanding of this point of Betrothing , it shall not be amisse , in some plaine and short manner , to make knowne the holy doctrine hereof , with the doctrine also of marriage , and marriage duties . First then we must know , that euery mariage , that hath bin well and orderly vsed , either of the heathen ( which were only inlightned with the law of nature ) or of the people of God , who also were to be directed by his word , was perfected by two solemne actions : that is , by an apparant & open contract and by publike mariage , the true & vnfained confirmation therof . Wherfore we wil first speak of a contract ( which is also called espousing , affiancing , betrothing , or hand fasting ) them of mariage it self . And for betrothing , or espousals , we reade in the writing of ancient Philosophers , Histories , Orators , Poets and others , that they be of great antiquitie , of necessarie vse , and haue been ordinarily practised . Insomuch , as the vsers thereof are highly commended , the neglecters and abusers hereof , sharply rebuked and condemned . Which seeing they could not do , but vpon knowledge and iudgement , it doth manifestly declare , that they did it by natures lawe , written and bred in their breasts . And therefore that euen nature it selfe , though in some matters starke blinde , and in many of very dim sight : yet she hath in all ages bewraied the lawfulnes , the necessitie , and the vse of espousals , to be the first step and degree , to a lawfull and comfortable marriage .

But to omit this lawe , and to come to the written word , let vs further consider what allowance we finde in the same , and consequently what it is , not onely to marrie , not onely according to the direction of nature , but also in the Lord . First it is certaine , that the Lord approueth them as his owne sacred ordinance : for we reade in Exodus 21.7 , 8 , 9 , 10 , 11. how carefully hee prouideth by sundry and many straight commaundements for the Maide-seruant that is betrothed . First , that she shall not goe out of her seruice , as the Men-seruants doe . Secondly , that her Master shall haue no power to sell her to a strange people . Thirdly , that being betrothed vnto his sonne , hee shall deale with her as with his owne doughter . Fourthly , if another wife bee taken with her , that neither her foode , her raiment , nor recompence of her Virginitie , shall any whit at all be diminished . Fiftly , that whensoeuer she goeth out of her seruice , she shal pay no money at al. None whereof the Lord would haue done ( much lesse all of them ) vnlesse espowsalls had been his owne ordinance , instituted , ordained and commaunded by himselfe to bee vsed , euen of the Maid-seruant , that was bought and sold . Againe it is written in Deut. 22.23 , &c. how the Lord by like commandement , prouideth for the espowsed maid , being inoffensiue , yet beeing guiltie , hee punisheth with lesse punishment , then if shee had been indeed married . First then hee commandeth , that if any man shal abuse a betrothed virgine in the Citie , both shall bee stoned to death , the Maide because she cried not , the man because hee hath humbled his neighbours wife . Where by the way , is to be remembred , how God calleth the betrothed , a wife . If then such wickednesse by iustice deserueth death , and if betrothed persons bee truely to be termed man and wife , onely in regard of the precedent espowsals , wee may then plainly see , how highly the Lord doth esteeme and honour them : the breach whereof , he punisheth with the punishment of adulterie , & the persons betrothed , hee honoureth with the names of man and wife . If indeed he had not ordained and allowed them , but that they had been of humane institution alone , he would not haue honoured them with such titles , or haue imposed death by stones , for the breach of mans ordinance . Againe , if a man abuse a betrothed maid in the field , hee saith , that the man shall die , but vnto the maid thou shalt doo nothing , because there is in the maid no cause of death .

Now imposing death vppon this man , and not vpon him that abuseth a maid not betrothed , the Lorde doth hereby euidently teach , that espowsals are a principall degree in marriage . And therfore the vnlawfull breach thereof deserueth death . For what else should the Lord grace them , with such great priuiledges , and punish the breach thereof , with seuere punishment ?

Further , the faithfull in all ages instructed by these , and such commaundements , approued and practised these espowsals , not onely by themselues , Iudg. 14.1 , &c. but also by their children . Sampson liking and louing a woman of the Philistines in Timnah , desired his Father and Mother to giue her to him to wife : and so they did : at which time Sampson made a feast , according to the custome of the yong men . Albeit , her father afterward would not suffer him to marrie her , but gaue her to another : for which iniurie Sampson reuenged himselfe of the Philistines , by burning vp the ricks of standing corne , vineyardes , and Oliues . For which the Philistines burnt both the Father and the daughter . 1. Sam. 18.15.26.27 . 2. Sam. 3.14.15.16 . So Dauid begged Micholl of her father Saul , who gaue her to him to wife , with condition , that hee would bring him a hundreth foreskinnes of the Philistines : and therefore , when Saul was dead , hee required her of Ishbosheth , Saules sonne , who sent her vnto him . Also Ioseph and Marie the mother of Christ , were betrothed , which God would neuer haue permitted , if it had not been of his owne ordinance and agreeable to his owne wil , or if he might any manner of way , haue stained either Iosephs honestie , or Maries virginitie : Nay if hee had not much more graced and adorned both , then the want of espowsals could haue done .

And to auoide tediousnesse in so plaine a trueth , 1. Cor. 7.36.37.38 . seeing the scripture giueth power and authoritie to Parents , to giue , and not to giue their children in marriage : saying , let him doo what he will .

Againe , hee that giueth her in marriage doth well , and hee that giueth her not to marriage doth better : ( whereof wee shall speake more at large anone ) there must needes be before the publike act of marriage , some speciall time appoynted : wherein both Parents , and parties , may testify and signifie their mutuall liking and consents , vnlesse they despise to marrie in the Lorde .

Wherefore , if the law of nature , the law of God , the practise of the Heathen , the custome of Faithfull , especially of the Parents of Christ : If the punishment of the espowsall-breakers , and the rewards and priuiledges of the espowsed . And finally , if the fatherly authoritie ouer children , doo approue and require the continuall vse of this ordinance of God , it must needes be confessed to be both lawfull and necessarie : yea being the first principall part of marriage it selfe , it must needes be honourable in his kind , as well as marriage it selfe is . Now then , in the next place , let vs see & learne , what a contract is , to the end , that vppon sound knowledge and right iudgement , we may alwaies vse it wel , and neuer ill , for want of good vnderstanding .

A Contract , is a voluntarie promise of marriage , mutually made betweene one man and one woman , both beeing meete and free to marry one another , and therefore allowed so to do by their Parents .

This short sentence , sheweth the whole nature , qualitie , propertie , vse , and abuse , with all other things , that are to be obserued or eschued in a right Contract , as shall appeare by the vnfolding of euery word contained therein : For as there is none vaine and idle , voide of his proper signification , so euerie one hath his proper waight , seruing for speciall and necessarie vse .

1. First , wee call a Contract a promise , and so it is indeed , for what is a promise but a speech which affirmeth or denieth , to doo this or that , with pupose and words of testimonie , to performe and accomplish , that which is affirmed , or not to do that which is denied ? And what other thing is indeed a marriage Contract , but this ? so that it must be in nature , a true and right promise : not the vowe of a promise in time to come , but a present promise in deede . For if one partie do say , I will promise to marrie thee : this is no promise in deede , but a promise of a promise , and consequently no Contract , but a promise of a Contract . And therefore tieth nor bindeth neither parties , nor Parents to keepe the same : for it is not in nature any contract at al. Againe , if a Contract be a promise , it is not onely a purpose of the heart , nor a dumbe shewe , or doubtfull signification of promise : but a plaine promise vttered & pronounced in a right forme of speech : as when one saith , I doe promise to marrie thee , or I do espouse , affiance , or betroth my selfe to thee in marriage , or such like : wherein al ambiguitie and doubtfulnesse of speech , is to be eschued : that as the meaning of the hart is simple and plaine , so likewise the words of the tongue , might be simple and plaine , voide of all deceit .

2. Secondly , we call a Contract a promise of mariage , because it is not a promise of euerie thing , neither of honour , of inheritance , of riches , or of any other thing else , sauing onely of marriage . Now wee meane by marriage , not onely the parties married , but all coniugall and mariage duties and offices , that peculiarly belong to this honorable estate , and are necessarily to bee performed mutually of both . For this promise , touching persons themselues ▪ is of such force & waight , that it tendeth to the alienation of the propertie of bodies : for so it is written , the wife hath not the power of her owne bodie , but the husband : 1. Cor. 7 , 4. and likewise also the husband hath not the power ouer his owne body , but the wife . For although this is not perfectly done , till the act of marriage be ended , yet this promise is the principall beginner and worker thereof , because they that promise marriage , do necessarily thereby promise , that two shall become one flesh , and that they will alwaies giue mutuall beneuolence one to another .

Touching the peculiar duties of husbands and wiues , which likewise are promised by this Contract , wee will here onely recite them , leauing the doctrine thereof , to another place and time .

1. The husband his dutie is , first to loue his wife , as his owne flesh . 2. Then to gouern her in all duties , that properly concerne the state of marriage , in knowledge , in wisedome , iudgement , and iustice . Thirdly , to dwell with her . Fourthly , to vse her in all due beneuolence , 1. Pet. 13.7 . 1. Cor. 7.45 . honestlie , soberly , and chastly .

1. The wife , her dutie is , in all reuerence and humilitie , to submit and subiect her selfe to her husband , in al such duties as properly belong to marriage . Secondly , therein to be an helpe vnto him , according to gods ordinance . Thirdly , to obey his commandements in all things , which hee may commaund by the authoritie of an husband . Fourthly and lastly , to giue him mutuall beneuolence . As for the rest of mutuall duties , as they may be all comprehended vnder these , so there shall be a fitter occasion to speake thereof .

Thirdly , wee call this promise of marriage , voluntary , because it must not come from the lippes alone , but from the wel-liking and consent of the heart : for if it be onely a verball promise , without any wil at all , ( and so meer hypocriticall and dissembled ) though it bindeth the partie that promiseth , to the performance of his promise , made before God and man : yet if the Parents afterwards shall certainly know this , and that there was no will , nor vnfained meaning at all in the party , neither yet is , but rather a loathing and abhorring of his spouse betrothed , though hee bee not able to render iust and sufficient cause thereof , they maye vpon this occasion , either deferre the day of marriage the longer , to see if God wil happily change the minde of the partie , or vtterly breake and frustrate the promise : if all good meanes and occasions hauing been vsed , none wil preuaile : but that the partie rather groweth woorse and woorse . For a Contract beeing a willing and a voluntarie consent , there is no cause why the Parents , and such as haue authoritie and power in such cases , when they shall vndoubtedly knowe , that the promise was altogither vnwilling , and therefore made in meere hypocrisie and dissimulation , neither can bee by tract of time , or any other good meanes vsed , be bettered , but rather ( waxeth woorse and woorse ) may not breake and frustrate the same . For why did Rebeccaes Parents deny her to Isaack , neither would send her with Abrahams seruant to bee married , Gen. 24 , 57.58 before such time as they had asked her consent : yea , when as they said : Wee will call the maide , and aske her consent : do they not plainely shewe , that both the law of Nature , and the law of God , taught them , that this consent was of great moment , and absolute necessitie ? And when the Apostle doth commaund men and women , to marrie in the Lorde , how can that marriage be in the Lord , when the one partie doth not onely , not loue , but hate the other ? And how can such two become one flesh lawfully , when as there wanteth the vnion and coniunction of the heart , the true naturall mother of all marriage duties ? Wherefore this promise must be in this respect , at least , willing , and voluntarie . For albeit , it is not necessarie , neither yet possible , that there should bee such great measure of true , holy , and sanctified loue at that time , as afterward ( for that groweth by little and little , according to the blessing of God , and the faithfull performance of other duties afterward , euen to their liues end ) yet if it bee voluntarie and vnfained , it is enough , and fully sufficient , to make a true contract in the Lord . So , as no man ought to separate those , whom God hath thus ioyned . Secondly , wee call it voluntarie , in respect of constraint and compulsion , contrarie to a free consent : for if eyther partie bee vrged , constrained , or compelled , by great feare of their Parents , or others , by threatning of losse of preferment , of health , of limme , of life , or of any such other like , or by any other violent manner of dealing whatsoeuer , to yeeld their promise cleane contrarie to the motion of good liking of their hearts . This kinde of promise , as it doth not binde the partie to keepe it : so it ought to bee frustrated and broken by the Parents themselues , or by such maisters as may and ought , to commaund and rule them in such cases . If this were not so , how could the parties keepe the commaundements of God , giuing them direction whom to marrie ? First that they should marrie onely in the Lord .

Againe , that they should not bee vnequally yoked with the infidels , neither whereof they can keepe , if their parents might compell them or Contract & marrie It becommeth rather the Parents to perswade their children by all good meanes , to yeelde their consent , rather then to drawe them by wicked sleight and cunning , drunkennesse , or any other wicked and violent meanes . For as that is not to marrie in the Lord : so all such forced Contracts may bee broken and frustrated by the Magistrate , who is Gods Lieutenant , to redresse such intollerable enormities among the societies of men . For if Parents may deny marriage to such as haue not onely by force and violence obtained the word and body of their childe , much more may the Magistrate denie marriage , where onely a verball promise hath beene gotten by violent compulsion , and so for these causes , and in this sence and meaning alone , wee conclude , that Contract must bee voluntarie .

Fourthly , it must bee a mutuall promise , that is , either partie must make it to other , not the man onely , nor the woman onely , but both the man and the woman : though decencie and order require the man to doo it first , and then the woman , because hee is her head , and shee his glorie : and ought to leade and guide her in all things , wherein the Lorde hath put a preheminence . For if this promise bee not mutually made of them both , but of one alone , it is no true and perfect Contract . And therefore may bee broken by Parentes , and such as haue authoritie heerein : because the partie vnpromising , is not bound by word nor deede , but is free , insomuch that such a Contract is rather so termed , then for that it is any true Contract indeede . But if it bee mutuall , then it doth mutually and inuiolably binde both : so that in this regard , neither Parent , Magistrate , nor any other , can or ought to breake it . For this beeing fully performed and accomplished , is one principall cause of making two one flesh , in such sort as it is written . Therefore shall man leaue his father and mother , and shall bee ioyned to his wife , and they two shall bee one flesh , &c. Genes. 2.24 . Also that the man hath not power ouer his owne body , nor the woman ouer hers : and so to bee short , hence ariseth all mutuall beneuolence between them . And therefore a poynt of great waight and necessitie , in no wise to bee omitted in Contract .

Fiftly , we say , it must be betweene one man and one woman : Where first it is to bee noted , that it may not , nor ought not , to bee betweene any other creatures , but mankinde , nay neither among brute beastes , nor Angels . For God hath not ordained nor instituted marriage for them , neither can it bee between man and man , or woman and woman . If any such Contract be either voluntarie , or by fraude and deceite , by ignorance or errour , it is no Contract at all , but a meere wicked profanation of Gods ordinance , who gaue onely woman to man , not woman to woman , nor man to man . Likewise , it cannot bee between Angells good or badde , and woman , because God hath set no such ordinance in the nature of these creatures . If therefore there hath beene any such matter , or shall be attempted by Sathan , with any woman ( as some stories report ) it is nothing else but a meere illusion and deuillish practise , to drawe and deceiue superstitious persons into the kingdome of darkenesse , and to intrappe them in the chaines of condemnation : against which , and all other diabolicall illusions , wee ought to watch and pray continually .

Secondly , it is to be obserued , that betweene one man , and one woman , and not two men and one woman , or two women , not betweene two women and one man or moe . By which is condemned , as meere nullities and prophanations , all Contracts whatsoeuer , made betweene moe then two . Math. 19.5 . Mar. 10.8 Ephes. 5.31 . 1. Cor , 6.16 . For it is written : And they twaine shall be one flesh : to which Marke addeth : So that they are no more twaine , but one flesh . Wherefore , seeing that Christ and his Apostles , expound the first institution of marriage , of two onely , and not of any moe : it is certaine , that the contract or promise thereof , ought to be of two alone , and no moe . So the holy Ghost saying ; 1. Cor. 6.2 . Let euery man haue his owne wife , & euerie woman her owne husband : and not , let euery one haue his owne wiues , or owne husbands : it is therefore plaine and questionlesse , that hee would haue a contract and marriage , to be onely betweene one and one . Againe , saying : his owne , and her owne , doth he not plainely insinuate euery other person , and persons , not to be their owne , but meere strangers , with whom they ought to haue nothing adoe , in respect of marriage duties , especially considering , that the Greeke word Idio , can import no lesse . Now then , if there bee at any time , or in any place , a promise betweene moe then two , as it is a wicked and meere prophanation of the holy ordinance of God : so it may and ought to be broken ; yea , seuerely punished by Parentes and Magistrates . If against this , it be obiected , that many of the Patriarches , and good men vnder the Law , had many wiues , or at least moe then one : We answere , it was their secret sinne , and great infirmitie , though proceeding from ignorance of the first institution , of marriage , of the Law and the holy Prophets ( or else they had warrant from God , which we haue noted . ) Of the institution , because Christ interpreting it , Math. 19.8 . sayth : From the beginning it was not so : proouing , that Moses permitted diuorcement of the first wife , and marriage of the second , not mooued or warranted by the authoritie of Gods institution , but by a fearefull and timerous consideration of the hardnesse of the peoples hearts , whom hee ruled , least they should haue rebelled against him , if hee had not so done . Of the law , because there was by this meanes , great iniurie done to Gods truth , and to the wiues diuorced : besides , the law it selfe well vnderstood ( as Christ expoundeth it , Math. 5.32 . ) admitteth no diuorcement , except it bee for fornication , and that the Lorde did disallow and hate all other kindes of diuorcement , made without the cause of fornication : Deut. 24.4 . it is euident , . in that hee condemneth the second marriage , after the first diuorcement , affirming that the woman so diuorced , is defiled by her second husband : which could not bee true , if their marriage had been lawfull and warrantable , Hebr. 13.4 . Mal. 2.14.15.16 . by the commandement of God , for where the marriage is lawfull and honorable , there the bedde is vndefiled . Of the Prophets , because the Lorde hath been witnesse betweene thee and thy wife of thy youth , against whom thou hast transgressed : yet is she thy companion , and the wife of thy couenant : and did not hee make one ? yet had hee aboundance of the spirit : and wherefore one ? because hee sought a godly seede : therefore keepe your selues in your spirit , and let none trespasse against the wife of his youth . If thou hatest her , put her away ( sayth the Lorde of Israell ) yet hee couereth the iniurie vnder his garment ( sayth the Lord of Hosts ) therefore keepe your selues in your spirit , and transgresse not . Then which wordes , what can be more plainely spoken against this sinne of hauing moe wiues then one ? For doth not the Prophet plainely say , that God is witnesse , that they haue transgressed against the wife of their youth & couenant ? doth he not cal them to the first institution , when God made but one , & that because he would haue a godly seede , and not an adulterous generation ? doth he not further say , that in putting away the wife , they did nothing else , but couer iniurie , vnder pretence of his law , as with a garment ? And finally , doth he not giue a clean contrarie commaundement , to that wicked custome of diuorcement , and marrying of others ? when he saith : keepe your selues in your spirit , and let none transgresse against the wife of his youth , and of his couenant ? Surely none can bee so blinde , but reading this portion of scripture , hee must needs plainly see and acknowledge the same . Wherefore , if the first sacred inststution of God , do bewary this corruption of hauing moe wiues then one : If the law doe condemne it , and if the Prophets doe so sharply censure and rebuke it ? Why should any bee so impudent and wicked , as to iustifie it in word , or to approue it in thought ? Rather as here we teach , let vs iudge and beleeue , that euerie lawfull Contract and mariage , ought to be onely betweene one man , and one woman . And the rest to bee so many breaches of Gods ordinances and commaundements , which can not be but hateful to him , and iniurious to mankinde : but especially to the Church of God , which ought to arise of a holie and godly seed . Now if any Contract be made betweene moe then two , it is altogether voide , and of none effect , and ought to be broken by the parties , and punished by the Magistrate .

The sixt point , concerneth the persons between whom the Contract is made , in whom there is required two properties : meetnesse for mariage , and freedome or libertie to marry one another . Touching the first , those especially are fit and meete to marrie , whom God doth call to that honourable estate , and commaundeth them to vse it as his lawfull meanes , appointed and sanctified for procreation : for so it appeareth by the first institution , wherein God gaue the woman to the man to bee an helper meet for him , as in other things , so especially in this : whom he blessed , Gen. 2.20.22 . and 1.28 . saying : Bring foorth fruite and multiplie , &c. And that wee may know more particularly what sort of persons they be , the holy Ghost describeth them to bee such , as to whom the gift of continencie is denied , yet the gift of procreation is vouchsafed and granted . For if mariage ( as the Apostle saith , Hebrewes . 13. vers. 4. ) bee honorable among all sorts of persons , 1. Cor. 7.8.9 . then amongst those that bee strong . Againe , it is written : I say to the vnmaried , and to widowes , it is good for them if they abide euen as I doe : but if they cannot abstaine , let them marrie : for it is better to marrie , then to burne . In which words wee may plainly see , that hee pointeth out , as with his finger , those that are called and commaunded by God to marrie : namely , such as haue not receiued the gift of abstinence and continencie , which calling and commandement is so much the straighter , and the more to be regarded and followed , because the Apostle gaue it to those persons that were molested , and pressed with many and grieuous persecutions ( a season of all other most vnfit for any to marrie in . ) In as much , as beside the ordinarie incommodities of mariage estate , it cannot but bring with it many extraordinarie grieuances and troubles . Notwithstanding , if such persons bee called and commaunded then to marrie , when as there was most grieuous persecutions , much more in the time of peace and prosperitie . By this then wee see , that all persons which haue not receiued the gift of abstinence , but of procreation , are called and commanded to marrie , and therefore meete for mariage , and also may lawfully enter a contract of the same .

But are none else meete for mariage ? Wee answere , that no other is called , commaunded , or warranted by God , to make contract with any of these meet ones , because they are vnable to performe the principall duties of marriage . As for children vnder age , they are altogether vnfit to take vpon them this honourable estate , and therefore debarred by Gods commaundement , from making any promise or contract : if they haue , it is but a meere prophanation of this holy ordinance , worthie great punishment , and also to bee broken , if that being come to yeares of discretion , and state of mariage , they doe not by wisedome and religion , supply all that was wanting in their former rash attempt , to the full contentation of al that haue interest in them . As for those that haue receiued the gift of continencie , they are called and counselled to chastitie , during the whole time of that gift : for so saith our Sauiour Christ ( All men cannot receiue this thing , saue they to whom it is giuen , Matth. 19.12 . ) And againe , he that is able to receiue this , let him receiue it . So the Apostle saith , It is good for them if they abide euen as I doe , 1. Cor. 7.7 . Againe , Art thou loosed from a wife , seeke not a wife : So likewise are those that are borne chaste , or made chaste by men , or by themselues for the kingdome of heauen . But you will say , what if any of these doe make a contract , and marrie ? We answere first if they bee vtterly vnfit for marriage with one that is meete , their contract is of no validitie , and may bee broken by superiour authoritie : 1. Cor. 7.27 . but if they both bee fit for marriage , wee say with the Apostle , Art thou loosed from a wife , seeke not a wife ? but if thou takest a wife , thou sinnest not : and if a virgin marrie , she sinneth not , &c. Last of all , as consanguinitie and affinitie doe restraine and binde from this former contract and mariage : so likewise doe naturall frigiditie and coldnes , infancie , incurable diseases , that depriue men of all fitnes for the vse of mariage . So as if any such , by fraud , ignorance , or any other sinister means be contracted it is nothing , and the parties may be lawfully separated , because they were neuer ioyned together in the Lord , but against the Lord . And here when wee say , meete and free to marrie one with an other , there would bee a wise and holie regard had of the qualitie in yeares , of agreement in religion , of similitude in nature , and maners in outward estate , condition and qualitie of person , and such like necessarie circumstances . For what is more vnmeete , then for an olde person to promise to bee contracted to a young one ? for an Infidell to contract with a beleeuer ? for a good nature and well mannered , with a crooked and froward person ? for a Prince with a begger ? For although all these doe not annihilate and make voide the contract altogether , yet such contracts cannot bee in the Lord . And thus much shall suffice to haue taught , touching the fitnes of mariage .

Now concerning the freedome and libertie , it is cleere , that those alone haue libertie and freedome to contract , who haue liberty to marrie . Now if we will know who those be , they are diuersly described and noted in Leuit 18. where certaine degrees , aswell in affinitie , as in consanguinitie , are expresly forbidden : so that if such parties shall contract themselues together , their contract is vaine , and a meere nullitie , such as ought to bee broken and punished . Againe , euery one either betrothed or married , is bounden and tied from contracting with any other : for that were nothing else but to promise grosse and beastly adulterie . And the Apostle teacheth , that the wife is bound by the law , as long as her husband liueth , so likewise is the betrothed wife : insomuch , as if any of these shall contract themselues with another , it is a meere nullitie , and wicked prophanation of Gods ordinance , and ought vpon knowledge thereof , to be broken and punished . And thus wee see what maner of persons the Lord hath called and commaunded to marrie , and who they be that are meete and free to marrie together , and who not .

The last point , is the consent and allowance of their Parents ; which though it be very materiall and necessarie , yet it is not the sole forme or formall cause which maketh a true contract . For if the parents should yeeld their consent to their children , being neither meete nor free to be maried together , it were nothing , and such a contract , though warranted by parents consent , ought to bee broken by the parties themselues : and the Magistrate , and both parents and children punished . For this cause we haue not sayd simply and allowed , but allowed so to doe , because that consent of parents to such children as are meete and fit to bee maried together , doth not only make that contract good , true , and inuiolable : which wanting their consents , though in other respects neuer so good , is a meere nullitie , and cannot be accomplished without the manifest breaches of the institution , and guilt of adulterie .

Now by Parents , we vnderstand not onelie the naturall Parents , but such as by the law of nature and of GOD , supply their places : as Grandfathers , great Grandfathers , Aunts , great Vncles and Aunts , Brethren , Sisters , Kinsmen , and Kinswomen , Magistrates , and those to whose families the parties doe especially belong . For all these are honoured in Scripture by the name of Parents . Neither may wee exempt out of this number , Gardians , Masters , and such to whom the continuall custodie and tuition of any , is lawfully committed . For if such bee commanded to prouide for them , as parties of their owne families ; there is no reason why they should not especially bee respected , aswell in bestowing them abroad out of their familie , as they were in taking them into it : for if their consent bee necessarie at their comming in , why should they goe out without their consent ?

Further wee say , their parents , and not his , or her parents , because parents on both sides , ought necessarily to consent & allow their children to betroth themselues . For this is the priuiledge , not of some parents , but of all , and in that they be parents . Moreouer we say , allowed , and not required , neither commaunded , nor yet exhorted or inducted so to doe : because that albeit the parents doe neither call their children to this contract , neither commaund them , neither require them , neither exhort them ( all which notwithstanding they ought to doe ) yet if they doe but onely allow them , and giue their bare consent that they shall contract themselues ; it is enough for the tying of the knot , and the substance of the contract . And to prooue that this contract is necessarie , we need no moe reasons , then that which the Apostle setteth downe , saying of the father : 1. Cor. 7.30 . Let him doe what he will : by which words , hee putteth it in the will and power of his parents , whether to marrie , or not to marrie : saying , in doing either of the twaine , he sinneth not . Yet it is written in another place : Exod. 22.16.17 If her father refuse to giue her to him , he shall pay money according to the dowrie of virgins . In which words , the Lord doth giue an absolute authoritie to the father , to yeeld , or not to yeeld his consent , to giue , or not to giue his daughter : for if hee haue power to deny it to his daughter , that is deflowred , and so by the Apostles iudgement , made one flesh with another ; much more lawfully may he denie his consent to her that is no maner of way bound , but is euery way free . 1. Cor. 6.16 . And if hee haue power to denie his consent in such a case , much more hath he power to giue his consent .

Now his authoritie and power to denie his consent , is apparant by the expresse commandement of God in that behalfe , which sayth : Take heede to thy selfe , Exod. 34.16 . that thou make no compact with the inhabitants of the land , and so take of their daughters vnto thy sonnes , &c. More plaine : Neither shalt thou make mariages with them , Deut. 7.3 . neither giue thy daughter vnto his son , nor take his daughter to thy son . How could those parents obserue this commaundement , vnlesse God had giuen them power to deny consent to their children ? Or why doth he rather forbidde this to the parents ; then to the children , but to shew that the power to giue , or not to giue , was in the parents , and not in the children : especially considering that children being the principall partes of their parents goods , are no lesse in their power and authoritie to giue and bestow , then the rest are . This was so well knowne in the Church , and so vsually practised among the people of God , that the greatest among them , who might seeme to haue greatest libertie in that behalfe , yet they durst not disobey this holie commandement of GOD . Iudg. 15. For Sampson , the strongest of all , though he loued a maide of the Philistines , yet he durst not betroth himselfe vnto her , before he had intreated his parents to giue her vnto him . Dauid a mightie valiant prince , begged Micholl at the hands of Saul her father , and after his death being betrothed vnto him , he desired her of Ishbosheth her brother . Iacob agreed with Laban for his wiues . 2. Sam. 3.14 . Gen. 29.18 . &c And Abraham the father of the faithfull , by his seruant , intreated Rebeccaes parents , to giue her to wife to his sonne Isaack . All which testimonies and examples , doe plainly proue , the greatest interest , power , and authoritie , that parents haue in bestowing their children , and that their consent needed to the sixe former points , whereof wee haue spoken , doth make so sure a Contract , as cannot be loosed and vntied , by any authoritie vnder heauen . For here in this that saying of Christ , ( Matth. 19.6 . ) is trulie verified : Let no man put asunder that which God hath coupled together . But if this , or any of the former bee omitted , the Contract may bee broken and disanulled . And least wee should bee ignorant , or forget what those errours are , which disauow and lawfully frustrate a Contract , these they bee . First , if there bee onely a naked shew of a promise , and yet no promise indeede . Secondly , if any other thing bee promised then mariage . Thirdly , if the promise be conuinced to be meere hypocriticall or forced . Fourthly , if one of the parties alone doe promise , and not both . Fiftly , if it were made between other creatures , or other persons , or betweene moe then one man and one woman . Sixtly , if the persons contracted , or either of them , bee altogether vnfit for mariage . Seuenthly , if either of them be formerly betrothed , or haue committed adulterie after the contract , or be alied , or a kin , or for any other cause not at libertie to marrie . Eightly , if there lacke the consent of the parents . If all or any of these bee vndoubtedly knowne , and cleerely proued , they doe ioyntly and seuerallie frustrate or nullifie the Contract , so as the Magistrate may lawfully dissolue the same , and set the parties at libertie . But contrarily , if all these concurre and accord , the contract is as inuiolable as mariage it selfe : neither can the parties bee set at libertie by themselues , or by any power whatsoeuer , because this contract , and euery parcell thereof is in the Lord . It being a sacred ordinance of God , as it cannot but haue speciall vse and fruite among his Saints : so now it is time to declare and teach the same .

First therefore , it serueth as a strong bridle to pull backe the force and headines of carnall , naturall , and brutish lust : for if this contract be holily and dutifully kept , according to the former doctrine , it would neuer come to passe , that any person , man or woman , should abuse their bodies suddenly , or hastily vpon euery instigation of lust , like brute beasts , but would willingly in all modestie and sobrietie , take sufficient time of deliberation , for the making and accomplishing of this necessarie and holie contract , which is ordained to this ende , that men might haue sufficient time of deliberation , to learne all the vses and abuses ; all commodities and incommodities ; all comforts and discomforts , with all duties & breaches of duties , that can fall into the honourable estate of mariage .

Secondly , it serueth to discouer betimes , and in good season , all sorts of impediments & lets , that may or ought to hinder the mariage that is promised . Hence came that ancient and most excellent custome of asking the banes of Matrimony thrice on three seueral daies , to the end that euery materiall defect might be learned in time when it might bee remedied , then after mariage accomplished , when it is remedilesse .

Thirdly , it serueth for the keeping and preseruation of honest chastitie , seeing by this meanes , not onely former promises and contracts , but also fornications ( if any haue been ) and adulteries , may bee descried and discerned . For after Ioseph was contracted before they were married , she was found to be with childe ; ( though without ill demeanour on her part ) yet it made Joseph so afraid , that he had intended in his heart priuatly to relinquish and forsake her , and had so done indeede , vnlesse Gods Angell had commanded the contrarie . Neuerthelesse , it was the Contract that discouered this trueth , & so preserued Maries virginity , that the scripture might bee fulfilled , which saith : A virgin shall conceiue , &c. If this were not , men might vpon knowledge or ignorance , make two seuerall contracts with seuerall persons , and commit fornication and adulterie with other mens wiues , either betrothed or married , and so lose their honestie and chastitie , to their great infamie & hinderance . Last of all , it serueth to condemne and auoide all priuate contracts , and secret mariages , and contrarily , to iustifie and grace the honourable estate of mariage , aswell in the beginning , as in the end thereof , that all things touching the same might bee begunne , continued and finished in the Lord , according to his commandement , that his promised blessings might ensue vpon it accordingly .

This being done , the parents and parties are to be charged in the name of God , as they will answere at the day of iudgement , plainly to bewray and declare , if they know any of the foresaid impediments in themselues , or in their children ▪ for which this Contract ought not to bee made . If they say , they know none , or if they declare none , then the consent of the parents is to be demaunded : which if they yeeld , then the consent of the parties is also to bee required . And so the parties are to be betrothed and affianced in these words , or such like .

I. N. doe willingly promise to marrie thee N. if God will , and I liue , whensoeuer our parents shall thinke good and meet : till which time , I take thee for my only betrothed wife , and thereto plight thee my troth . In the name of the Father , the Sonne , and the holy Ghost : So be it .

The same is to bee done by the woman , the name onely changed , and all in the presence of the parents , kinsfolkes and friends . After this , the parents are to bee admonished , to set and appoint the day of mariage neither too neere , nor too farre off , but to appoint a competent space of time , that it may bee sufficient for the learning and triall of all lets and impediments , whereby promised mariage might bee hindered , and yet giue no occasion , by reason of the length thereof , to prouoke the parties to incontinencie . In the meane time , the parties affianced are to be admonished to abstaine from the vse of mariage , and to behaue themselues wisely , chastly , louingly , and soberly , till the day appointed doe come . And so with a Psalme and prayer , to conclude the holy action .

1. Because there might be some preparation for the things pertaining to housekeeping , betweene that time , and the celebrating of mariages : but this is not a chiefe cause .

2. Because the Lord would by this meanes make a difference betwixt brute beasts and men , and betwixt the prophane and his children . For they euen as beasts , doe after a beast-like maner , being led by a naturall instinct and motion , fall together : but God will haue this difference , whereby his children should bee seuered from that brutish manner , in that they should haue a certaine distance of time betweene the knitting of affection , and enioying one of another , and a more neere ioyning of one vnto another .

3. That they should in that time thinke on the causes why they are to marrie , and the duties of mariage : for many enter thereinto , not considering at all of the great duties belonging to them in the same , nor thinke of the troubles and afflictions that follow mariage . But the Lord would haue these things thought on , and a consideration to be had , both of the causes of mariage , and the duties to be performed , and the troubles to be vndergone . A good and carefull householder so ordereth and frameth his household , so as it may manifestly appeare , that it is indeede the house of a faithfull Christian , and that he himselfe is as a pastour ouer his familie , that hee instructeth it diligently in the feare of GOD , and keepeth it in good and godly discipline , by continuall exercise in godlines . So that in his house , you shall finde the chaste wife , the shamefaced , plaine and modest wife , decked without , as she is within ; no painted nor masked thing , rendring true obedience to her husband , and hauing a carefull eye vpon her familie , seruants , her children : the master , father , and husband : the children and seruants , euerie one likewise in his degree , imploying himselfe sincerely in his dutie and office , approouing his dooings as before God .

Froward wicked qualities of the minde . 1. Cor. 5.10.11 . and 6.9 . Now , like as in the minde there are such vertues , as wee haue before spoken of : so are there in it also noysome wicked vices and detractions , as vngodlinesse , despising of Gods word , vnbeleefe , idolatrie , superstition , ignorance , Gal. 5.19 , 20 , 21. 1. Tim. 3.2 , 3 , 4 , 5. churlishnesse , lying , falsehood , hypocrisie , vnrighteousnesse , swearing , backbyting , mistemperance , drunkennes , gluttonie , couetousnesse , vnchastitie , vnshamefastnesse , misnourture , rashnesse , furiousnesse , wantonnesse , pride , presumption , vaine-glorie , chiding , brawling , and vnhandsomnesse . Who so now chooseth him a wife , or shee a husband , that is infected and tangled with such noysome vices , hee seeketh not a spouse , or shee a husband , for a right , peaceable , good , honest , and christian life ; but an hell , a painfulnesse , and destruction of all expedient , quiet , and vertuous liuing : but specially , there is little good to bee hoped for of him or her , whereas vngodlinesse and contempt of the word remaineth . For like as the feare of GOD draweth the whole garland of vertues with it : so vngodlinesse and despising of Gods worde , bring all vice and abominations : yea , and shutteth vp the way to amendment . When these points and rules are dulie and warilie obserued on either part , they may ioyne together , and say as Laban and Bethuel said : This commeth of the Lord , therefore we will not speake against it . Oh how happie are those , in whom faith , loue and godlinesse are married together , before they marrie themselues ? For none of these martiall , carnall , and clowdie , and whining marriages can say , that godlinesse was inuited and bidden to their bridall , and therefore the blessings which are promised to godlinesse , doe flie from them .

2. The riches of the bodie . 2. After the riches of the minde , doe the riches of the bodie follow next , as is a comelie , beautifull , or well fauoured bodie , health , a conuenient age , Beautie . &c. A beautifull bodie is such one , as is of right forme and shape , meete , and of strength to beare children , and to keepe and gouerne an house , euen such one as both the man and woman can finde in their hearts vnfainedly to loue aboue all other , and to be content withall , &c. As concerning the beautie or comelines of the bodie ( where there is else no good propertie or qualitie beside ) Salomon saith , Pro. 31.30 . Fauour is deceitful , and beautie is vanitie : but the woman that feareth the Lord , she shall be praised . And Prou. 11.22 . As a Jewell of golde in a swines snoute ; so is a faire woman which lacketh discretion : or is of vncomely behauiour , and hath not wit nor gouernment to behaue her selfe . For beautie is a fraile gift and a slipperous , and more profitable to those that behold it , then to those that haue it : for the beautifull woman can take no great pleasure in beautie , but a little as it were in a glasse , & yet incontinently she forgetteth that she beheld and saw : and yet it is many times both to her selfe , and to them that behold her beautie , a prouocation to much euill . She that is faire , waxeth proud of it , and he that doth behold her , becommeth subiect vnto filthie loue , but in the minde ( which is iudged to bee the man ) doth consist the true lineaments and properties of fairenesse , the which intice and prouoke spirituall and heauenly loue , being mixt with nothing that is shamefull , either to bee done or spoken : and therefore , there is no man so farre without witte , that had not rather haue her which is foule and hard fauoured , but yet is honest and vertuous , then to haue her which is faire and vnhonest , and also irreligious .

Happie , and twice happie is that man and that woman , that are coupled in marriage , with a godly and vertuous mate & bedfellow , they are doubtlesse greatly blessed of God . For House and riches are the inheritance of the fathers , Pro. 11.22 . and 19.14 . but a prudent wife commeth of the Lord They therefore are not well in their wits , but greatly deceiue themselues , that make choise of wiues , or husbands , hauing regard onely to their stature , comelinesse of personage , or to their beautie , and esteeme not more the riches of the minde .

Health also must bee considered in their choise ; least otherwise great inconuenience come thereby , and least the whole house be poisoned and infected . But we speake here of contagious sicknesses , and not of such common infirmities & vsuall diseases , that both men and women are subiect vnto . As of madnesse , frenzie , french pocks , or such like : which euery wise man and woman , doth vtterly detest .

Neuerthelesse , where any married parties are now togither , and be visited with any such diseases , they must one comfort and suffer with the other , as they that are in one bodie , &c.

Riches of temporall substance . To haue the goods of temporall substance , is to bee borne of noble parentes , or to come of worshipfull stocke , to haue landes , liuings , riches , great offices , gaines , or occupyings , and such like . But the chiefest nobilitie , and most worthie of commendation , is indeed to be noble in vertues , in good works , maners , and conditions . But to be borne of gentilitie , and to vse and behaue himselfe vngently , is euen as much , as to shame himselfe and his kindred .

Such therefore , as purpose to marrie , ought carefully to foresee and looke to this matter , least being too greedie of honour , worship or wealth , intending to haue the golde , and catching the hotte coales , doe burne themselues without recouery : Chuse a wife for vertue only Pro. 19.14 . for a man may buy gold too deare ( as we vsually say . ) For temporal goods sake , the matter miscarieth , and is in daunger .

There is sometime great riches , but with little honestie , and lesse good conscience is it gathered togither . And with the same riches , will not continue alwayes , prosperitie , peace and quietnesse . Many so trust to their wealth , as that they will not frame themselues to any lawfull calling , neither will they learne any : therefore also can they do nothing to profit either their countrie , or the common wealth , but liue idly , daintily , and with pride , ryot , excesse , and dishonestie , doe quickly waste that , which hath bin long in gathering togither . Now , when there is alway taking from the heape , and nothing laide thereto , it wasteth away in processe of time , how great soeuer it hath beene . Then followeth pouertie : yea , an intollerable , and vnpatient pouertie . For they that now lauish and spend prodigally altogither , haue had no necessity hitherto , but flowed in all wealth : therefore , after such a sunne-shine , there commeth euer an extreame heate , and thenceforth beginne they to warme themselues at the bare leaues : and to spare , when all is spent .

Such then , as in their choise , looke to the multitude of goods , and regard not how they were gotten , and whence they came , haue customably such smoky hattes set vpon their heads , that all the water in the riuer , cannot wash away the corruption thereof . For goods without God , honestie , and good conscience , is a deadly poison , and the bodily diuell himselfe : Yea , goods and riches in the hand of an vndiscreete and ignorant man , is as a sharpe knife , in the hand of a childe , that doth no good therewith , but wound & hurt himselfe . Wherefore euery man and euery woman in their election , ought to haue more respect to vertue , godlinesse , discretion and knowledge , then to riches . Moreouer , an hand that is occupied , and winneth , and getteth his liuing godly , christianly , and honestly , doth far excell any riches that are won . For although the world esteeme them happy , which liue in wealth & ease , & idlenes : yet the holy Ghost approueth & alloweth them best , that liue of the meane profite of their labors . Psalm. 128.1.2 .

Seeke no match in marriage aboue thy degree . And this also , is a very necessary point to be obserued , that the man chuse such a woman , and the woman such a man , as that there be equalitie betwixt them both , in blood & estate .

For by how much the greater and straighter the coniunction is of the husband & the wife ; so much the more ought euery one prouide to be indifferently matched : Equalitie in marriage to be respected . and truely this equalitie of marriage , is in two speciall things to be considered : to wit , estate , and age . For as two horses , or two oxen , of vnequall stature , cannot be coupled vnder one selfe same yoake , so a noble woman , matching with a man of base estate , or contrarily , a Gentleman with a begger , cannot bee consorted and well matched vnder the bands of wedlocke . But yet when it hapneth , that a man marrieth a woman of so high a birth , he ought ( not forgetting that he is her husband ) more to honour and esteeme of her , then of his equall , or of one of meaner parentage and not only to account her his companion in loue , & in his life , ( but in diuers actions of publike apparance ) hold her his superiour . Which honor , is not yet accompanied with reuerence , as is that , which for manners sake , we are wont to do to others . And she ought to consider , that no distinction or difference of birth and nobilitie can be so great , but that the league , which both Gods ordinance & nature , hath ordained betwixt men and women , farre exceedeth it : for by nature woman was made mans subiect . But if a man shall take to wife an inferiour or meane woman , he also ought to weigh , that Matrimonie maketh equall many differences : and further , that he hath not taken her for a slaue or seruaunt , but for a fellow and companion of his life . Of the choise of a wife . And seeing that election or choise , is nothing else , but to take a thing meete and conuenient to the end it is prepared for , therefore euery one that must chuse , ought to regard the ende , and to know what thing is conuenient for it . So that it is needefull , that he be wise and discreet , or else hee cannot dispose it , nor perceiue what thing is conuenient for it . Therefore , if a man would aduisedly consider , that he is to liue with his wife continually , and she with him , he would then be very circumspect in the choise of her , which choise , maketh either very much for his felicitie and comforte , or else for his great miserie and discomfort . For by how much the more a thing is vnited and knit vnto man , so much the more it may helpe him , if it be good , or hinder him if it be euill . Those dammages and hurtes ( which are inwardly in the bodie ) are worse then those which are without the bodie : and those of the soule , then those of the bodie : and likewise men doe iudge of those things which are called good .

But peraduenture it may seeme vnto some , th●t these things are not vniuersally true , for vnto some , the losse of their goods is more then the losse of their health . But this thing doth not arise or happen of the goods or money it se●fe , but because some man doth perswade vnto himselfe , that to loose his goods , is a thing intollerable , and therefore the goods are not of more estimation , then is life or health : but it is mans affection that doth rule in this thing .

And therefore it seemeth lesse to some , to be driuen out of his kingdome then to other some to loose a smal portion of his possessions . Some will reuenge a word most cruelly , and some other well beaten and buffeted , will not reuenge it at all . All these things doe proceed and come of the soule , the which is most inwardly ioyned & knit vnto man , which hath more power in him then the bodie , yea , then man himselfe ; if it be then of so great importance , what maner of friend thou haue to liue commodiously , or incommodiously withall , the which shall none otherwise dwell nor be in the selfe same chamber , bedde nor house with thee , but that thou mayest shake him off at thy pleasure : how much more oughtest thou to take heede , when thou chusest thee a wife , the which must bee continually conuersant with thee , at thy table , in thy chamber , in bed , in thy secrets , and finally , in thy heart and breast ? If thou goe from home , thou doest commit thy house , thy familie , thy goods , and thy children ( of all other thinges the most pleasant ) vnto her : shee is the last that leaueth thee at thy departing , and the first that receiueth thee at thy returning : thou departest from her with sweete imbracements and kisses , and with sweete kisses and imbracements she receiueth thee at thy returne home : vnto her thou disclosest thy ioy & heauines . So that it is an heauenly life to be conuersant , and in the company with those that a man delighteth in and loueth . But it is a calamitie infernal , to be bound and forced to see those things that a man doth greatly hate & abhorre , or to be in company with those that a man would not be withall , and yet cannot bee separated nor depart from them . Hereof commeth , as we doe see in some mariages , so great ruines , so wicked and vile deeds , as maimes , & murders committed by such desperate persons , as are loth to keepe , and yet cannot lawfully refuse , nor leaue them : Therefore young folkes ought not to be too rash and hastie in their choise , but to haue the good aduise and direction of their parents and trustie friendes in this behalfe , who haue better iudgement , and are more free from the motions of all affections , then they are . And they must take heede , least following the light and corrupt iudgement of their owne affections and mindes , they change not a short delectation and pleasure , into a continuall sorrow and repentance . For wee doe learne , by great and continuall vse and experience of thinges , that the secret contractes made betweene those that be young doe seldome prosper , whereas contrariwise , those marriages that are made and stablished by the aduise of wise and religious parents , doe prosper well .

But specially and before all thinges , such as purpose to marrie , must faithfully with feruentnesse , and stedfast beleefe , ( without ceasing ) make their intercession and prayer vnto God , A good wife is aboue all things to be craued of God by prayer . to whom all hearts are open and knowne , that hee would not suffer them to goe amisse , but ( as a tender father ) helpe and direct them to make a right choise , so as they may liue honestly and prosperously , as good christians ought , to his glorie , and their owne comfort . For this purpose , there is a notable example of Eleazar , Abraham's seruant , who being sent to get and make choise of a wife for Isaac his masters sonne , beginneth his matter with prayer : Gen. 24.12 . &c. So did Isaac also , as appeareth in the same Chapter , verse 63. When any haue determined with themselues to marrie , and haue vsed all diligence thereto required , they must desire of God by humble and earnest prayer , good and prosperous successe , in whose hand and power it is to giue it , and doubtlesse he will effect it , if they aboue all other thinges , shall haue an vndoubted hope and confidence in him . For if they , after that they haue settled themselues , and haue satisfied their appetites , shall then resort vnto God by prayer , desiring him that they may obtaine the thing that they most desire , so it would appeare , that they would make him the Minister of their voluptuous desires and pleasures , and so doing , their vowes and prayers should become most manifest blasphemie . And therefore a man should not come vnto marriage , as vnto a prophane thing , with a loose and vnprepared minde , but with a quiet & wel purged minde , as to a thing most sacred & holy . For Matrimonie doth not consist onely in the coniunction of the bodie , neither yet in dauncing , nor banquetting ( proceeding and brought vnto vs , with many other things from the Gentiles ) but it should rather beseeme christians , most studiously to pray vnto God , that so weighty a thing as matrimony is , might haue good and prosperous successe . For Matrimony is a thing sanctified of God , Heb. 13.4 . the which willeth the matrimoniall imbracements to be chast , the bed to be vndefiled , and their progeny vnspotted : & it is after the mind of S. Paul , Ephes. 5.25.26 , 27. a signe of the great mystery , wherewith Christ doth indissolubly vnite himselfe vnto his Church . Therefore thou oughtest , so much as shall lie in thee , to lift vp thy mind , and to remember how great and worthy an image thou doest represent , and that thy wife shall be vnto thee , as the Church , and thou vnto her as Christ : therfore thou shouldest shew thy selfe vnto her , as Christ shewed himselfe vnto his church . The loue of Christ vnto his church is incredible , and thy loue also to thy wife ought to be most effectuall , Societie , and to liue togither , is the most surest and strongest knot , to knit & ioyne amitie & loue among men , & al other beasts . There can be no greater societie or companie , then is between a man & his wife : whose house , whose goods , whose chamber , &c. is common , their children are common , & they themselues partakers of all good & euill successe , of prosperity and aduersity : the which societie and fellowship , were sufficient to stir & prouoke him that loueth not his wife , to loue and beneuolence . And what company or loue shall a man looke to haue of him that loueth not his wife ? There are , that in loue and amitie looke for gaine , as the vile Epicures do , vnworthy to be beloued , men which loue themselues , & not their friends . And if we haue a regard vnto commoditie and profit , there is nothing that giueth so much as doth a good wife , no not horses , oxen , seruants or farmers : for a mans wife is the fellowe and comforter of all cares and thoughts , and doth more faithfull and true seruice vnto him , then either maid-seruant or man-seruant , the which doe serue men for feare , or else for wages : but thy wife will be ledde onely by loue , and therefore shee doth euery thing better then all other . And this doth God declare , saying : Let vs make Adam a helper like vnto himselfe : By the Helper , is signified the vtilitie and profit of the seruice , and by the similitude and likenesse , is signified loue . For a seruant and hee that is hired , are farre vnlike the master , and are taken well nigh for no men . A seruaunt in the stead and place of an horse , or of an oxe , the which must bee beaten and inforced to their worke , doth serue his master . A hired seruant , is in the place of an hired horse , for when the hire is paid , the societie & fellowship dissolueth . The child is part of the father , and through a naturall pitie , they loue each other : but yet the wife is more annexed and ioyned to her husband . The father doth labour and taketh paine for his children , but the childten seldome labour or take paynes for their fathers , and oftentimes are sent to inhabite and dwell in other mens houses , whereby in a manner it appeareth , that their straight and fast societie doth dissolue and breake . But the wife cleane contrary , doth continually take paines for her husband , who may neither ( as long as she liueth ) change house nor bed . If commoditie and profit be looked for , no commoditie excelleth this : if thou shalt loue thy wife , thou shalt liue most pleasantly , if not , thy life will be most miserable & wretched . For there is nothing so sharpe nor so bitter , as to hate the thing that doth fauour and loue thee , nor nothing more happy , as to loue him that hateth thee . Therefore loue , that thou mayest be loued .

Now we will in few words shew the occasions of wedlocke , why and wherefore it was ordeyned , and for what purpose it should bee contracted , that euery man and woman may the better vnderstand to what thing they consent , when eyther of them graunteth to marrie the other .

Doubtlesse it cannot otherwise be , but that marriage , which was ordeined of such an excellent author , as of GOD himselfe , & in such a worthy place , as Paradise ; and of such an auncient time , as in the state of Adams and Eues innocencie , and after such a notable order , but that it must likewise haue speciall causes , for the ordinance of it . Therefore the holy Scripture doth declare chiefely three causes thereof . The first is , the procreation , begetting , Three causes of marriage . & bringing vp of children : Gen. 1.27 , 28. & 9.1 . For in the children do the parents liue , ( after a sort ) euen after death .

And , if they be well and vertuously brought vp , God is greatly honoured by them , the common wealth is aduanced : yea , their parents and all other fare the better for them . For they are their parents comfort next vnto God : their ioy , staffe , and vpholding of their age : and therefore Parents ought to beginne betimes , to plant vertue in their childrens breastes : for late sowing , bringeth a late , or neuer , an apt haruest : young branches will bow as a man will haue them : But olde trees will sooner breake then bow , &c. But more of this shall be said after , in the dutie of parents .

Although mariage be a holy and sanctified ordinance , yet none may vse the benefite of it , Psal. 51.5 . without some acknowledgement of originall sinne , in that adulterie and whoredome are wrought by this meanes : albeit this is not imputed to the children of God , who vse this meanes with as much chastitie as may be , and so long as the husband and wife do keepe themselues togither in the feare of God , and in all modestie and sobrietie .

If then in mariage it selfe , there is such mischiefes , what hellish mischiefe is there in those lustes , which are not sanctified without these considerations ? So that marriage is not a mad and dissolute estate , neither are husbandes to turne their wiues into whores , or wiues their husbands into whoremasters , by immoderate , intemperate , or excessiue lust .

Many thinke they cannot sinne in this behalfe , if they passe not their owne wiues : but they may make their marriage polluted & defiled , if they vse it without prayer and sobernesse : &c. 1. Thess 4.4.5 .

Therefore the husband is to forbeare the company of his wife , when it is with her , as it is common to women : &c. Ezechiel 18.6 . Leuiticus 18.19.24.27.29 . and 29.18 . This was one of the sinnes , for which the Lord rooted out the Cananites out of their land .

The 1. cause . The second occasion why Marriage was ordeined , was , that the wife might bee a lawfull remedie to auoid whoredome , Wedlocke lawfull for such as haue not the gift of chastitie . fornication , and all filthie vncleane lusts . 1. Cor. 7.2.3 . &c. Touching this point , I will say no more : for it is handled at large by others alreadie , and I haue elsewhere sufficiently discoursed of it .

The 3 , cause . The third and last cause was , for mans commoditie , to the end to auoid the inconuenience of solitarinesse , that the one may helpe & comfort the other , Gen. 2.18 . in sicknesse , in affliction , and in all household cares , and troubles , as education of children , and keeping the familie in order . For this cause , olde men and olde women may lawfully marrie . So that a wife is called by GOD himselfe , an Helper , Rom. 7.23 . 1. Cor. 7.8 , 9 , 39. 1. Tim. 5.14 . and not an impediment , or a necessarie euill , as some vnaduisedly doe say . And as other some say : It is better to burie a wife , then to marrie one . Againe , if wee could be without women , wee should bee without great troubles .

These and such like sayings , This is often found most true : that such as are contemners of mariage , are most offenders against marriage , and liue most vnchastly . tending to the dispraise of women , some maliciously and vndiscreetly , doe vomit out , contrary to the mind of the holy Ghost , who saith , that she was ordeined as a Helper , and not a hinderer . And if they bee otherwise , it is for the most parte , through the fault , and want of discretion , and lacke of good gouernment in the husband . For married folkes , for two eyes , haue foure : and for two hands as many moe : which being ioyned togither , they may the more easily dispatch their handy busines , & houshold affaires .

For like as a man hauing one hande or one foote , if by any meanes hee get himselfe an other , may thereby the more easily lay holde on what he listeth , or goe whither he will : euen so , hee that hath married a wife , shall more easily enioy the healthfull pleasures , and profitable commodities of this present life . For in trouble , the one is a comfort to the other : in aduersitie , the one a refreshing vnto the other : yea , and in all their life , the one is a helpe and succour to the other .

Most true it is , that women are as men are , reasonable creatures , and haue flexible wittes , both to good and euill , the which with vse , discretion , and good counsell , may be altered and turned . And although there be some euill and lewde women , yet that doth no more prooue the malice of their nature , then of men , and therefore the more ridiculous and foolish are they , that haue inueighed against the whole sexe for a few euill : and haue not with like furie , vituperated and dispraised all mankind , because part of them are theeues , murtherers , and such like wicked liuers .

But the marriage and company of the husband and wife , is made amiable , sweete , and comfortable , by these fiue meanes : by godlinesse , vertue , mutuall forbearing , mutuall loue , and by dutifulnesse performed busily and godly on both sides .

1. Godlinesse of right , holdeth the chiefe place . For there is no stable & steadfast friendship , vnlesse it haue his beginning from God : and therefore must godlinesse needes shine before the rest . For when couples haue determined to obey God , all things afterward become more easie .

2. Vertue and honest conditions , breede mutuall delight betweene man and wife . For when vertue is exercised , it maketh conuersation of liuing more amiable .

3. Mutuall forbearing , whereby we take in good worth one anothers conditions & faults , is very needfull . For in this weaknesse of nature there happen many scapes , which will breede strife , if they be not couered by mutuall forbearing .

4. Mutuall loue , hauing his beginning of godlinesse and true vertue , maketh the husband and wife not to be too sharpe sighted in spying into one anothers faults : but that many things either they marke not , or if they marke them , they couer them with loue . For Loue couereth the multitude of sinnes . 1. Pet. 4.8 . Prou. 10.12 .

5. Dutie performed godlily , carefully , and cheerfully on both sides , maketh the mariage-yoke light and sweete . For when man and wife marke one another , and finde like heedfulnesse and buxamnes in their dutie ; both their companie is made more pleasant , and they are the more stirred vp on both sides to render dutifulnes , that the one may requite the other alike . Where these fiue duties bee not , the companie of their life is both lothsome and bitter , or rather more sharpe then death . Therefore the godly couples must doe their endeuour , that these vertues may be seene in their life continually for euer .

Now wee will ( through God his assistance ) say something concerning the three seuerall points contained in this dutie , and mentioned in the beginning hereof , and so end this dutie .

1. The first whereof is , That the husband must liue with his wife according to knowledge . This point of doctrine is most plainlie proued by the Apostle Peter , where he saith : Ye husbands dwell with your wiues , 1. Pet. 3.7 . as men of knowledge , giuing honour vnto the woman , as vnto the weaker vessell , By honor is meant , that the Husband ought to sustaine and relieue the wants of his wife , to support , vph●ld , and beare with her infirmities , as the weaker vessell . euen as they which are heires together of the grace of life , that your prayers be not interrupted . Whereby hee teacheth the husband his dutie , to wit , that the more vnderstanding and wisedome God hath indued him with , the more wisely and circumspectly hee ought to behaue himselfe , in bearing those discommodities , which through his wiues weakenes , oftentimes cause some iarre and dislike one to the other . Neuerthelesse , though she be by nature weaker then he , yet she is an excellent instrument for him , made to farre more excellent vses : whereupon it followeth , tha● she is not therefore to bee neglected because shee is weake , but on the contrarie part , shee ought to be so much the more cared for . Like as a vessell the weaker it is , the more it is to bee fauoured and spared , if we will haue it to continue : euen so a wife , because of her infirmities , is so much the more to be borne withall of her husband . 1. Pet. 3.7 . And for so much as the husband and wife are equall , in that which is the chiefest , that is to say , if that gracious and free benefit , whereby they haue euerlasting life giuen them , which otherwise are vnequall , as touching the gouernance and conuersation at home , and therefore she is not to bee despised , although she be weake . And besides , Besides the praiers had with their familie , they must pray priuately . Gene. 25.21 . 1. Cor. 7.3 , 4 , 5 all braulings and chidings must be eschued and cast away because they hinder praiers , and the whole seruice of God , whereunto both the husband and the wife are equally called .

Also for more c●onfirmation of this point , the Apostle Paule likewise sayth : Let the husband giue vnto the wife due beneuolence , and likewise also the wife vnto the husband : The wife hath not power of her owne bodie , but the husband : and likewise also the husband hath not the power of his owne bodie , but the wife . Defraude not one another , except it bee with consent for a time , that yee may giue your selues to fasting and prayer , and againe come together , that Sathan tempt you not for your incontinencie . Which is , as if the Apostle should say , The parties married , must with singular affection , entirelie loue one the other , for that they are each in others power , as touching the bodie : so that they may not defraud one another , except the one abstaine from the other by mutuall consent that they may the better giue themselues to prayer : wherein notwithstanding , they must consider what is expedient , least by this long breaking off , as it were from mariage , they be stirred vp to incontinencie .

The second point , which is , that the husband should not bee bitter , fierce , or cruell vnto his wife : which point is prooued by the sayd Apostle , Collos. 3.19 . Anger in a husband is a vice . saying : Husbands loue your wiues , and bee not bitter vnto them . First and aboue all things , the husband must bee circumspect to keepe the band of loue , and beware that there neuer spring vp the roote of bitternes betwixt him and his wife . If at any time there happen to arise any cause of vnkindnes betwixt them , The roote of bitternesse to be weeded out with the spade of patience . ( as it is vnpossible alwaies to bee free from it ) then he must be carefull to weede vp the same with all lenitie , gentlenes and patience , and neuer suffer himselfe nor his wife to sleepe in displeasure . How & when the husband ought to reproue . Ephes. 4.26 . And if he shall haue occasion to speake sharply , and sometimes to reproue , he must beware that he do not the same in the presence of other : but let him keepe hi● words vntill a conuenient time , ( which is the point of a wise man ) and then vtter them in the spirit of meeknesse , and in the spirit of perfect loue , and he must not let sometimes to couer faults , Faults sometimes must be couered with loue . and winke at them , if they be not too great and intollerable . Whatsoeuer losse or mischance shall happen vnto him , let him take it patiently , and beare it cheerfully : yea , though the same should come partly through his wiues negligence , yet let it rather bee a louing warning to take better heed in time to come , then a cause of sorrow for that which is past , and can not be holpen .

Euery wise man by his owne experience knoweth , Not to take vnkindenesse for euery trifle . that he is in this life subiect to manie inconueniences , and that of nature he is prone to displeasure , and readie to take vnkindnesse for euery trifle , & specially with his best friends ; yea soonest with his louing wife , who is lothest to displease him . Let him therefore beware of this cankered corruption , and consider that hee ought most of all , in loue to beare with his wife , according to Christs example towards his Church , who gaue himselfe for it , that he might sanctifie it , Fphes . 5.25 , 26 , 27 , 28 , 29. and clense it by the washing of water through the word : That he might make it vnto himselfe a glorious Church , not hauing spot or wrinckle , or any such thing : but that it should be holy and without blame : So ought men to loue their wiues as their owne bodies : hee that loueth his wife , loueth himselfe . For no man yet euer hated his owne flesh , but nourisheth and cherisheth it euen as the Lord doth the Church . As if the Apostle had said : The husband is to the wife in Gods stead . The husbands dutie is , to loue their wiues as themselues , of which loue , the loue of Christ toward his Church is a liuely paterne . And because many husbands pretend the infirmities of their wiues , to excuse their owne hardnesse and crueltie , the Apostle willeth them , to marke what maner of Church Christ gaue , when he ioyned it to himselfe , and how he doth not onely not lothe all her filth and vncleannesse , but ceaseth not to wipe the same away with his cleannesse ; vntill he haue wholly purged it , and made it holy . And seeing that euery man loueth himselfe , euen or nature : therefore ( saith the Apostle ) the husband shall striue against nature , if hee loue not his wife : which hee proueth , first by the mysticall knitting of Christ and the Church togither , and then by the ordinance of God , who saith that the husband and wife are one : that is , not to be diuided .

Husbands may not be rigorous towards their wiues , especially when they be new married . Prou. 20.3 . The husband is alwaies to remember , that hee bee not fierce , rigorous , hastie , nor disordered with his wife : for then there will neuer be vnitie and concord betwixt them If the wife do not learne to keepe silence , and the husband to haue patience , otherwise it shall rather bee the dwelling of fooles , then the house of friends ▪ For where the husband wanteth wisedome t● gouerne , and the wife patience to suffer , they shal be forced ( it is to be feared ) in continuance of time , to part house , or else euery day to bee iarring and brauling .

The Wife is not to be vsed or intreated as a Handmaide or seruan● , 〈◊〉 as a fellow . Pro. 8.7 . and 14 9. and 15.5 . and 18.2 . & 27.22 . Pro. 9.1 , 9. and 19.25 . Genes. 16.6 . Euery married man ought also to remember this , that either his wife is wise and religious , or else she is foolish and irreligious . If he be matched with a wife that is sottish , foolish , and ignorant of God and his word , it will little auaile or profit him to reprehend or chide her : and if he be married to one that is wise and religious , and knoweth her dutie out of Gods word , then one sharpe and discreet word is sufficient : because that if a woman be not corrected , by that which is wisely and discreetly sayd , she will neuer amend by that which is threatned . When the wife shall be inflamed with ire , wrath , malice , or enuie , the husband ought to suffer her , and after the heate is somewhat cooled , and the flame quenched , then mildly to admonish her : for if she once begin to lose her shamefastnesse in the presence of her husband , then it is likelie that there will often follow braulings and quarels betwixt them . And as the husband ought at all times to shun braulings and quarellings with his wife , so much more he ought to auoide the same , when they shall bee newly married . For if at the beginning she shall haue cause to abhorre and hate him , then late or neuer will ●●e returne to loue him faithfully . Therefore at the beginning of their mariage , the wise and discreet husband ought to vse all good meanes to winne the good liking of his wife towards him : for if then their loue be fixed and truly setled one toward the other , The falling out of louers , is the renewing of loue . although afterwards they come to some household words and grudgings , yet it proceedeth but of some new vnkindnes , & not of old rooted hatred , & therfore the sooner remedied . For loue and hatred bee mortall enemies , and the first of them that taketh place in the heart , there it remaineth a dweller for the most part all the daies of life : in such wise , that the first loue may depart from the person , but yet neuer forgotten at the heart . But if the wife from the beginning of mariage , doe take the heart to lothe and abhorre her husband , then a miserable life will follow to them both . For although the husband shall haue power to his wife , to feare and obey him , yet hee shall neuer haue strength to force her to loue him .

Some husbands doe boast themselues to be serued , feared , and obeyed in their houses , because the wife that abhorreth , doth feare and serue her husband : but she that indeede liketh , doth loue him and cherish him . As the wife ought with great care to endeuour by all good meanes , to labour to bee in fauour and grace with her husband : so likewise the husban● ought to feare to bee in disgrace and disliking with his wife : for if she doe once determine to fixe and settle her eyes and liking vpon another , then many inconueniences will ensue and follow .

The husband ought not to bee satisfied that he hath robd his wife of her virginitie , but in that he hath possession and vse of her will : for it sufficeth not that they be married , but that they be well ma●ried , and liue christianly together , and very well contented . And therfore the husband that is not beloued of his wife , holdeth his goods in danger , his house in suspition , his credit in ballance , and also sometime his life in perill , because it is easie to beleeue that she desireth not long life vnto her husband , with whom she passeth a time so tedious and irksome . And if any vnkindnes or displeasure should , happen to be at any time , betwixt the husband and his wife , yet neither of them ought to impart , or to make it knowne vnto any one of their neighbours : for if they bee such as wish them euill , they will reioyce at it : and if they bee such as wish them well , then they minister matter whereof to talke .

That husband that is matched and doth encounter with a wife that is a dizard , a foole , That man is miserable that is married vnto a foolish woman . a babler , light of behauiour , a glutton , a chider , slothfull , a gadder abroad , vntractable , iealous , or dissolute , &c. it were better for him to be a slaue to some honest man , then a husband to such a wife .

The best rule that a man may hold and practise with his wife , to guard and gouerne her , is to admonish her often , and to giue her good instructions , to reprehend her seldome , neuer to lay violent hands on her : but if she be good and dutifull , to fauour her , to the end she may continue so : and if she be shrewish and wayward , mildly to suffer her , to the ende that shee waxe not worse . But some husbands bee of so sowre a nature , and so vnpleasant in their behauiour , that they can hardly bee loued , no not of their wiues ; their countenance is so lowring , their companie so currish , that they seeme angrie euen when they bee best pleased : they can not speake faire , scarce will they laugh when their wiues laugh vpon them : a man would say , they were borne in an angrie houre .

Husbands must prouide things necessarie for the house . A mans house will continue by prouision before hand , and by order in his expences . Rom. 12.17 . 1. Tim. 5.8 . But where disorder is in a house , it cannot endure . This is also a dutie not to bee forgotten , namely , that husbands be diligent and carefull to make prouision for their houses , to clothe their wiues decently , to bring vp their children vertuously , and to pay their seruants dulie : because that in voluntarie matters men may bee negligent , but the necessities of their house doe neither suffer negligence or forgetfulnes . The dutie of the husband is to get goods : and of the wife to gather them together , and saue them . The dutie of the husband is , to trauell abroad to seeke liuing : and the wiues dutie is to keep the house . The dutie of the husband is , to get monie and prouision : and of the wiues , not vainly to spend it . The dutie of the husband is , to deale with many men : and of the wiues , to talk with few . The dutie of the husband is , to be entermedling : and of the wife , to be solitarie and withdrawne . The dutie of the man is , to bee skilfull in talke : and of the wife , to boast of silence . The dutie of the husband is , to be a giuer : Spare in time and spend in time , for sparing is a rich purse . and of the wife , to bee a sauer The dutie of the man is , to apparell himselfe as he may : and of the woman , as it becommeth her . The dutie of the husband is , to be lord of all : and of the wife , to giue account of all . The dutie of the husband is , to dispatch all things without doore : and of the wife , to ouersee and giue order for all things within the house . Now , where the husband and wife performeth these duties in their house , we may call it a Colledge of quietnes : the house wherein these are neglected , wee may terme it a hell .

It is to bee noted , and noted againe , that as the prouision of household dependeth onelie on the husband : The honor of the Husband , dependeth of the Wife . euen so the honour of all dependeth onely of the woman : in such sort , that there is no honour within the house , longer then a mans wife is honourable . And therefore the Apostle calleth the woman , 1. Cor. 11.7 . The glorie of the man . But here it must be noted and ●emembred , that wee doe not intitle honourable to such , as bee onely beautifull , comely of face , of gentilitie , of comely personage , and a good huswife : but onely , of her that is vertuous , honest of life , temperate , and aduised in her speech .

3. The last poynt is , that the husband loue , The third poynt . cherish , and nourish his wife , euen as his owne bodie , and as Christ loued his Church , and gaue himselfe for to sanctifie it . And this point is plainly proued by the Apostle Paul , as is sufficiently declared in the second point .

There are few husbands or wiues , that know in truth how they should loue one the other . If a man loue his wife onely for these respects , because she is rich , beautifull , noble , or because she contenteth and pleaseth him , after the sensuall appetite of the flesh , and for such like causes ; that is no true loue before God ; for such loue may be among harlots and whores , yea among brute beasts . Cant. 4 9.10 . 1. Cor. 9.5 . 1. Pet. 3.7 . But a christian husband must loue his wife , chiefly because she is his sister in the profession of the sound and christian religion , and so an inheritour with him of the kingdome of heauen . And he must also loue her for her vertues ; as for her shamefastnesse , modestie , chastitie , diligence , patience , faithfulnes , temperance , secrecie , obedience , & such like christian qualities and graces of God : yea , although she be but hard fauored , and of poor● parentage .

But as wee would that the man when he loueth should remember his maiestie , so we would that when he ruleth , he forget not his loue , nor to temper it with maiestie . And when he doth thinke himselfe to bee the head and the soule , and the woman ( as it were ) the flesh and the bodie , hee ought in like maner to remember , that she is his fellow and companion of his goods and labours , and that their children bee common betweene them , bone of bones , and flesh of the flesh of man . And thus there shall bee in wedlocke a certaine sweete and pleasant conuersation , without the which it is no mariage , but a prison , a hatred , and a perpetuall torment of the minde . So that the husband must let his wife perceiue and know , that for the good opinion that he hath of her , he doth loue her simply , and faithfully , and not for any vtilitie or pleasure . For who so doth not perceiue , that he is beloued for his owne sake , will not lightly doe the same to another : for the thing that is loued , loueth againe .

If mony or nobilitie could perceiue and vnderstand that they were beloued , they would , if they had any feeling at all of loue , requite it with loue : but when the soule is loued , in as much as it may loue , it giueth loue for loue , and loueth againe . The breaker of horses , that doth ●se to ride and to pace them , doth handle the rough and sturdie colt with all craft , rigour , and fiercenes that may be : but with the colt that is more tractable , he taketh not so great paine . A sharpe and shrewd wife must bee pleased and mitigated with loue , and ruled with maiestie : and the more gently thou doest vse and shew thy selfe vnto her that is meeke and honest , the more benigne and meeke thou shalt finde her . But she that is noble , and of a stout minde and stomacke , the lesse thou doest looke to bee honoured , the more she will obey and honour thee . But yet the wise husband shall neuer set himselfe so farre in loue , that he forget that he is a man , the ruler and gouernour of the house , and of his wife , and that he is set ( as it were ) in a Station to watch and diligently to take heede what is done in his house and to see who goeth out and in . 1. Cor. 11.3 . Ephes. 5.23 . For although the husband by Gods ordinance , bee the head ouer his wife , yet hee may not abuse or despise her , but must louingly defend and keepe her from all iniuries , and all euils , as his owne bodie . For like as the head seeth and heareth for the whole bodie , ruleth and guideth the bodie , and giueth it strength of life : or as Christ doth defend , teach and preserue his Church , and is the Sauiour , comfort , eye , heart , wisedome , and guide thereof : euen so must the husband bee head vnto his wife in like maner , to shew her like kindnes , and after the same fashion to guide her , and rule her wit● discretion , for her good and preseruation : and not with force and wilfulnesse to intreate her , but to bee her defender , instructor , teacher , and comfort . So that when the husband hath obtained , that his wife doth trulie and hartily loue him , there shall then need neither precepts , nor lawes : for loue shall teach her moe things , and more effectually , then all the precepts of all the Philosophers . Hee ought therefore to indeuour and more force himself , that his wife may loue him , then that she may feare him . When his wife shall offend or displease him , hee may not hate her , or quarell with her , but patiently and mildly admonish her : Ephes. 5.18.29 . For no man yet euer hated ( saith the Apostle ) his owne bodie , but cherisheth it , and maketh much of it . So then , he that loueth his wife , loueth himselfe : for thereby hee enioyeth peace and comfort , and helpe to himselfe in all his affaires : therefore in the same verse , Paul counselleth husbands to loue their wiues , as their bodies . And after in the 33. verse , as though it were too little to loue them as their bodies , hee sayth : Leuit. 10.10 . Let euery one loue his wife as himselfe . that is , as his body and soule too . For if God commanded men to loue their neighbours as themselues , much more are they bound to loue their wiues as themselues , which are their next neighbours . 1. Sam. 1.8 . As Elkanah did not loue his wife lesse for her barrennesse , ●ut sayd : Am not I better vnto thee then ten sonnes ? As though he fauoured her more , for that which she thought her selfe despised . So a good husband will not take occasion to loue his wife lesse for her infirmities , but comfort her more for them , as this man did , that shee may beare with his infirmities too . Gal. 6.2 . And so the one to helpe to beare the others burthen , and so they shall the better fulfil the law of Christ . For as in a citie , there is nothing more vnequall , than that euery man should bee like equall : so it is not conuenient , that in one house euery man shuld be like and equall together . There is no equality in that citie , where the priuate man is equal with the Magistrate , the people with the Senate , or the seruants with the master , but rather a confusion of all offices and authoritie .

The husband and the wife are Lords of the house , Genes. 1.28 . Genes. 2.18 . vnto whom the Lord said : Be ye Lords ouer the fish of the sea , and ouer the fowle of the heauen , and ouer euery beast that moueth vpon the earth . And the selfe same Creator said , that the woman should bee a helpe vnto the man . Therefore the husband without any exception , is master ouer all the house , and hath as touching his familie , more authoritie then a king in his kingdome . The wife is ruler of all other things , but yet vnder her husband . There are certaine things in the house , that onely doe appertaine to the authoritie of the husband , wherwith it were a reproach for the wife , witho●● the consent of her husband , to meddle withall : as to receiue strangers , or to marry their daughter . But there are other things , in the which the husband giueth ouer his right vnto his wife : as to rule and gouerne her maidens : to see to those things that belong vnto the kitchin , and to huswiferie , and to their household stuffe : other meane things , as to buy and sell certaine necessarie things , may be ordered after the wit , wisedome , and fidelitie of the woman . It cannot wel be rehearsed , how many vtilities and profites , the mutual concord and loue of man and wife , doth bring to great things , both at home and abroade , nor how many losses and incommodities , doo growe of the dissention and discorde betweene them . For the housholde , when their maister and their mistresse , or dame , are at debate , can no otherwise bee in quiet , and at rest , then a cittie , whose Rulers agree not ; but when it seeth them in concord and quietnesse then it reioyceth , trusting that they wil be euen so vnto them , as it perceiueth then to be among themselues : wherein surely , they are not deceiued , for if the man and his wife doo louingly and gently support and intreate one an other they learne not to disdaine : or for euerie light fault , to be angrie with their seruants , or yet for any household words , to bee vexed or angrie one with the other , but to set aside , all hastie and ●●●ell words and correction , with all other thinges , that issue and proceed of a disdainfull and a furious mind . And the seruants are not onely merrie therefore , but also they doo their seruice the more obediently and cheerefully , shewing reuerence vnto the maiestie , that proceedeth and increaseth of quietnesse and concord . For the husband doth defend his wiues maiestie , with loue and beneuolence : and the wife her husbands , with honour and obedience . So that vnitie and concord , causeth them to be esteemed wise , honest , and vertuous , and they must needs bee good , seeing they haue loued so long togither . But there can bee no long amitie or friendship , but betweene those that are good , the which doo suffer and deuoure vp those things , for the which other men leaue and forsake amitie , and breake off charitie . Neither doth there growe of any other thing , so great reuerence and maiestie , as of the opinion and estimation of another mans goodnesse and wisedome , the which reuerence , is not onely honoured within the doores , but also shineth and extendeth it selfe into the cittie , so that he is taken for an honest man , and accounted to be louing and gentle , seeing that hee loueth his wife so constantly , and also he is reputed for a wise man , considering that he can so moderately handle so difficult and hard matters , and he is reckoned worthie to rule a common wealth , that with such wisedome , discretion , and iudg●ment , doth rule and gouerne his owne house , and that he may easilie conserue and keepe his Citizens in peace and concord , that hath so wel established the same in his owne house and familie . And on the other side , none will thinke or beleeue , that he is able to be ruler , or to keep peace and quietnesse in the towne or Cittie , who cannot liue peaceably in his owne house , where hee is not onely a ruler , but a King , and Lord of all . And in matrimoniall debate and discord , the man is more to bee blamed , then is the woman , because that hee being the chiefe Ruler and head , doth not purge and remedie her of that vice , the which ingendred that discord , or else patiently beare & suffer the same : for the blame of al discord , is commonly laid on him that is chiefe , because he would not moderate nor stay the thing to come to such a strife ●nd discord , or else because he was not able to do it . In the first , there appeareth manifest ma●ice , in the second impatience & weaknesse , the which ought to be far from him that is esteemed ●o be most worthy , & appointed to rule & gouerne others . And thus he commeth into hatred , ●or as much as he hath left off to do his duty and ●ffice , when necessitie required it . That husband ●hat loueth not his wife , after that he hath enioi●d her for a season , but doth wax feeble & cold , which is a thing most meet and conuenient for ●hose that are kindled with bodily lust & leche●ie , who are very beasts , and no men , hauing no ●eason , but are drawn to those deeds , through the ●otion of their sences , the which after the heat ●e a little past , will clean change their opinion . Also there are other occasions , The causes why the husband should loue his wife . that should mooue the husband to extend this loue to his wife , in case he be not duller then a stone . As for ●●at his wife hath suffered so great trauel and la●our , that she hath borne and brought him forth children , the heires of his name and substance , and the vpholders of his familie : and that shee hath forsaken her fathers goods and riches to follow him , and to suffer with him both good and euill : and that she setting her whole mind now vpon him , knoweth no other father , nor yet any of all her kinne . What one thing shall suffice , if these and others cannot do it ? who so will then obey nature , humanitie and wisedome , shall euery day loue his wife more and more . And the better he knoweth her , the more he will trust her , and so open and disclose his loue , and shew her greater signes and tokens of loue , and beneuolence , manifesting that to be borne and nourished , through the experience of her vertue , and through hope to be continued and kept , that in time to come she may be like her selfe , and striue to ouercome herselfe with vertue . As the husband ought thus to loue his wife tenderly , so from her as from a fountaine , he must extend his loue also vnto her parents and kinsfolkes , The husband must loue his wiues kinsfolkes . to the end that they may well know and perceiue , how greatly the● cousin doth aide and helpe them , and that shee in like maner may vnderstand , that his beneuolence and loue to her is such , that it redoundeth among her frends and parents , and of this he shall receiue no little profit at home . And seeing he loueth his wiues kinsmen for her sake , how much more ought he then to loue her children that she in like case may loue his , if he haue any , and thus the one seeing the mutuall loue of the other , they shall knit and couple themselues in good and stedfast loue vnto their liues end . The duties themselues , which are ro bee performed of the husband and wife , are eyther pertaining to pietie and godlinesse , or else mutuall seuerall duties concerning the parties themselues for pietie and godlinesse .

1. The first common dutie is praier , that they pray together by themselues : for as they are to pray with others in their families , for thinges which concerne their houshold : so there are certaine things , which belonging to themselues , are not to be mentioned in their families , but priuately : as namely , for a godly posteritie , and that in the birth , the children be comely , and not monstrous in comming foorth , like monsters which might be a griefe vnto them , or an occasion , that the wicked should speake euill of the Gospell , &c. And further , they are to pray , that they may haue comfort by them , in their well carriage and good behauour : as likewise for their household , and for diuers other affaires , which they cannot so commodiously pray for , in their publike families . As Isaack and Rebecca , besides the praiers in their house , which they vsed with Abrahams familie , did also pray together priuately : as in Genes. 25.21 . it is saide : Isaack praied before his wife : for so the words signifie , that they might haue children .

2. A second dutie of pietie is , that they admonish one another , as the husband is to admonish the wife , so also to teach her , and the wife to admonish the husband , and in her place admonishing , bringing sufficient reason , is to be heard . For euen as the Maister is to counsell the seruant , and likewise to heare the good counsell of his seruant , as Naaman . 2. King . 5.13.14 . heard his seruant , which counselled him to wash in Jorden , according to the saying of the Prophet . So in like maner , the husbands dutie is to counsell , and to admonish his wife yet so , as when he faileth in dutie , he is to heare her good counsell and admonition , either concerning heauenly matters , or earthlie affaires : shee notwithstanding considering her estate and condition vnder him , and in humilitie confessing her selfe to be the weaker vessell . 1. Pet. 3.7 .

Their mutuall and seuerall duties pertaining to themselues , are : first , the holy familiaritie which ought to be betwixt man & wife : wherby they haue a more familiar vsage one of another , and do more familiarly behaue themselues in a comely sort one to another , then any other parties whatsoeuer : Genes. 26.8.9 . in regard whereof Abimelech King of Gerar ( after that Isaack had said of Rebecca his wife , shee is my Sister ) seeing Isaack playing and sporting with her familiarly , knowing that familiaritie which ought to bee betweene the husband and the wife , and knowing that Isaake was a godly religious man , and therefore would not vse that kinde of behauiour , to any other woman , saue to his wife , discerned thereby , and concluded certainly , that shee was his wife , howsoeuer hee hath denied it before . Noting , that a woman is not to be familiar after that sort with any other man , saue her husband , and contrary , the husband ought not vse this familiaritie with any other woman , which he doth with his wife . And therfore Pro. 5.19 . we see that the wife should be to him , as the louing Hind : namely , delightful , and one in whom he may delight : that as the Hart delighteth in the Hind : so the wife should be a delight vnto her husband : and so in like manner , she ought to take delight in him .

2. Againe , there , is another mutuall dutie pertaining to themselues : to witte , that neare coniunction , euen in regard of their bodies , for an holy procreation of children ; in respect whereof , the Apostle saith , 1. Cor. 7.4 . the husband hath not power ouer his owne body , but the wife , &c. Onely when it is with the wife ( as is common to women Ezech. 18.6 . ) or that shee bee sicke of her disease , hee is not then to haue the vse of her body , &c.

Such as doo aspire and purpose to enter into the holy estate of matrimonie , Duties common both to the husband and the wife . are to beginne in prayer and holinesse to God . And hauing attained to that estate , ought to vse the benefit of marriage , as an holy ordinance of God , in all godlinesse and puritie , 1. Cor. 7.2 . for a remedy against the weaknesse of the flesh , and not for the prouocation and lust to intemperancie .

True it is , that honestie of marriage grounded vpon Gods ordinance , doth couer the shame of incontinencie : yet not so , as that married folkes should defile and pollute that holy estate , by admitting all things , but that they should so vse it , as there might be no excesse in dissolution , neyther any intemperancie contrary to the holinesse thereof , so that to abuse it in lasciuious excesse , is fornication .

Genes. 1.18 . When God created the woman , he said : It is not good that man should bee alone , I will make him a helpe meet for him . But whatsoeuer is said of the woman , that she should be a helpe to the man , must also be put in practise , and excercised by the husband toward his wife , according to the doctrine of the Apostle Saint Paul , 1. Cor. 7 all . whether in auoyding fornication , whether in procuring generation , and the education and bringing vp of children , whether in maintayning a familie , or for the seruice of God , and saluation of soules .

Heereby it euidently appeareth , that the dutie common both to the husband and wife , importeth , that the one should ayde and helpe the other .

First , that they may leade their liues in chastitie and holinesse . Next , to auoide fornication . So that the dutie of the husband and the wife , consisteth in this , that they liue together in all chastitie and purenesse , and that they take great heed , and beware of breaking the bond , and infringing , and violating the faith of marriage , by fornication or adulterie , which is a detestable sinne , in the sight both of GOD and man . If such as wanting the remedie of marriage , by committing fornication , doo incurre an offence worthie euerlasting damnation ? What may those deserue , who hauing a remedie for their infirmitie , doo neuerthelesse ouerflow in adultrie ? yet is it not ynough , onely to abstaine from this abhomination , vnlesse wee also forbeare from euerie thing , that may seeme to tend thereunto , or to containe any beginning , apparance , allurement , or occasion of euill . First , because , that by the law , all this is forbidden , euen in these expresse wordes : Exod. 20.14 . Thou shalt not commit adultrie . For the word adultrie , comprehendeth al prouocations , gestures , speeches : yea , euen vnchast lookes . And therefore sayth Iesus Christ , Math. 5.18 . He that looketh vpon another mans wife , to lust after her , hath alreadie committed adultrie with her in his heart . Next , that we may preuent all occasions of ielousie , a most daungerous disease , & of great difficulty to cure . For where either the husband or the wife , is tainted with ielousie , they beleeue euery word that they heare spoken touching their passion , albeit it beare no apparance of trueth . And therefore christian husbands and wiues , must so beare themselues , that they incurre no suspition of euill . But rather they ought to practise this , as well to auoide occasion of offence , as for feare , least iealousie should conuert marriage into a most miserable and wretched estate .

The care and burthen to maintaine their familie is common to them both : yet so , as properly the husband is to get it , and to bring it in , and the wife to order and dispose it . Howbeit the dutie of the wife , or of the husband , doth not so exempt either of them , but that she also according to her ability and power , must helpe her husband to get it , and hee likewise in his discretion , direct her in the dispensation thereof . Exod. 20.14 . Hee that doth not orderly gouern his house , shall inherit the winde ( saith Solomon . ) And order consisteth in this , that the husband follow his businesse , trafique , or calling , without any molestation of the wife , who ought not to meddle or controle him therein , but with great discretion and gentelnesse , as also the husband is not to deale , but soberly and in great discretion with affaires , that are proper to the wife . The man is iealous of his authoritie and reputation , and the woman inclined to suspect her selfe to be despised . Wherefore , as the husband cannot well abide , that his wife shoud shew her selfe more skilfull and wise in his businesse then himselfe : so cannot the wife suffer , that her husband should despise and account her a foole , by medling with her small household affaires .

As the dutie therefore of the husband and wife , consisteth in looking to that which is aforesaid , to the end their mariage may be quiet , and themselues liue together in loue : euen so an idle and vnthrifty husband , and a prodigall and slothfull wife , are two ready waies to destruction . The husband that hath such a wife , casteth his labours into a bottomlesse sacke : and the wife that is matched with such a husband , draweth a Carte heauie loden , through a sandy way without a horse .

Such a husband , especially , if idlenesse drawe him to loue and haunt Ale-houses and tauernes , is cruel to his wife and children : and such a wife confoundeth her husband , & bringeth reproch and pouertie to her whole familie . The remedie for the husband , that hath such a wife is patience , with discreet admonition and praier to God : as also the helpe for the wife that hath such a husband , is tolleration , gentle exhortation , and chearfull and louing entertainment of her husband , whereby to induce him willingly to keepe home .

They are also to be mutual helpers , each to other , in matters concerning their own saluation , and the seruice of God . First if one of them ( as saith the Apostle ) bee an vnbeleeuer , the other must labour to drawe his partie to the knowledge of the trueth . Saint Paul exhorting the husband and wife , of contrary religions , not to part , but to dwel together addeth a notable reason , saying : What knowest thou ô man , whether thou shalt saue thy wife : 1. Cor. 7.16 . or thou ô woman , whether thou shalt saue thy husband ? Therein declaring , that the faithfull person , in dutie is to labour and indeuour to winne his partie to the knowledge of the trueth , and so to saue her .

Saint Peter exhorteth wiues to bee subiect to their husbands , albeit vnbeleeuers , and such as not obey the word , that so without speech , By their holy and vertuous conuersation , 1. Pet. 3.1 . they may winne them .

Secondly , if both be beleeuers , their dutie is , to confirme and strengthen each other , in the time of persecution , that they constantly follow Iesus Christ . They are also each to helpe and comfort other , if eyther of them happen to fall into any fault or sinne . They ought also each to perswade other to charitie , to relieue the poore , diligently to frequent sermons , to vse praiers and supplications , and praise and thanksgiuings to the Lorde , to comfort each other in the time of afflictions , to be short either to exhort other , to walke in the feare of God , and in all duties and exercises beseeming the children of God . 2. King . 4.10 . In this manner did that holy woman Elizeus Hostesse exhort her husband to prepare a chamber for the P●ophet to lodge in . Saint Paul also saith , 1. Cor. 14.35 . that women desirous to learne , should question with their husbands at home . Whereby he sheweth , that the husband ought to bee so instructed , as hee may be ready to instruct his wife at home . And therefore the husband ( after the example of the Bee ) should euerie where gather euerie good instruction , that he might bee able to impart it to his wife , and by hauing communication , acquaint her therewith .

There are other duties , which bee common both to the husband and the wife , as among the rest , such as proceed of the vnion and coniunction of marriage , whereof it is said , They are one flesh : Genes. 2.24 . Math. 19.5 . And of this vnion , proceedeth the mutual loue betwixt them . For no man ( saith the Apostle ) hateth his owne flesh , but loueth and cherisheth it . Ephes. 5.15 . Titus . 24. But for as much as the foundation of this mutuall loue , is the vnitie of marriage , wherby the husband and the wife , are made one flesh the husband as the head , the wife as the body .

It followeth , that this loue must be stedfast , not variable , and that the vnion of marriage continue , notwithstanding whatsoeuer befall , either the husband or the wife . Notwithstanding , whatsoeuer complexions ( wee say ) natures and infirmities may appeare , whatsoeuer sicknesse , losse of goods , iniuries , griefes , or other inconueniences that may arise , yet so long as the foundation of loue , that is the vnion of marriage doth continue , so long must loue and affection remaine . Math. 5.44 . God commandeth vs , to loue our neighbours as our selues , because they be of our flesh . Albeit therefore , that he contemne , hate , offend , or wrong vs : albeit he be our enemie , and in respect of himselfe , deserueth not that wee should loue him , yet because hee is of our flesh , the foundation of loue remaineth , we must loue him . How much rather ought they to put this in practise , who by the bond of marriage , are made one flesh ? The rather , because the vnion betweene man and wife , is without comparison more straight , & bindeth them each to loue other , much more then the coniunction , wehreby man is vnited vnto his neighbour ,

But this is the mischiefe , that in many , their loue is not grounded vpon the vnion of marriage but vpon beautie , riches , and other carnall and worldly considerations , subiect to change , alterarion and losse .

This corruption that respecteth beautie , is olde , and noted to bee among the causes of the flood . Genes. 6.2 . The sonnes of God ( saith Moses ) seeing the daughters of men were faire , lusted after them , and tooke them in marriage . But indeed , it is mony that maketh loue , and riches ingender affection , witnesse the experience of our daies . Yet such loue , resembleth onely a fire of straw , which is but a blaze , and is soone out , vnlesse it be continued with great wood , or other like substance . Loue growing of beautie , riches , lust , or any other like slight , vncertaine , and fraile groundes , is soone lost and vanished , vnlesse it be maintayned with the consideration of this vnion , of two in one flesh , and the vertues thereto adioyned : and therefore must euery man thinke vpon this vnion in marriage , that he may enioy , nourish , and continue the loue , that thereof proceedeth , the rather , because such loue is the nurse of concord , that maketh marriage happy . As contrariwise , the want of this loue , is the fountaine of strife , quarrelling , debate , and other like afflictions , that conuert the paradice of marriage into a hell . For dissention betweene man and wife , is the trouble and ouerthrow of the household .

They that will auoide such strife , must therfore loue each other : and especially , they must haue care hereof , when they are first married : For a vessell made of two peeces , and glewed togither , may at the first bee easilie broken , but in time , groweth strong : so is it also with two persons , that are glewed or ioyned togither , by the bond of marriage .

This loue , the mother of peace , will ingender a care and dutie , each to support other , and so to practise the same , which Saint Paul requireth in all beleeuers : that is , To be gentle one to another , frendly , & each to forgiue other , euen as God hath forgiuen vs through Christ , Let the husband thinke , that he hath married a daughter of Adam , with all her infirmities : and likewise let the woman thinke , that she hath not maried an Angell , but a childe of Adam , with his corruption . And so let them both resolue to beare that , that cannot be soone amended . Let not the body complaine of the head , albeit it haue but one eye : neither the head of the body , albeit it be crooked or mishapen . Such defaults , do neuer breake vnion and loue between the head and the body : neither must the infirmities of the husband or the wife , infringe the loue that proceedeth of the vnion and coniunction of marriage . If the husband bee giuen to brawling , or the wife to chiding , let them both beware of giuing any occasion .

The bell hath a loude sound , and therfore he that will not heare it , must beware how he pulleth the rope and shake it : so if the one will begin to chide without a cause , let the other be either deafe and so not heare it , or dumbe , and so make no answere . So that where the husband is deafe , and the wife blinde , marriage is quiet and free from dissention . Whereby is meant , that the wife must winke at many infirmities of her husband , as if she saw them not , and the husband put vp many shrewde speeches of his wife , as if he heard them not . Neither can it be any reproch to the husband and wife , so stedfastly vnited , to practise this dutie , considering that Dauid protesteth , that he vsed the like patience and discretion among his enemies : They that seeke after my life , lay snares , and they that goe about to doe me euill , Psal. 38.12 . talke wicked things , and imagine deceit continually : But I as a deafe man , heard not , and am as a dumbe man , which openeth not his mouth . Thus I am as a man that heareth not , and ●n whose mouth are no reproofes .

This vnion betweene man and wife , doth also engender that dutie which the holy Ghost noteth , saying : Matth. 19.5 . Ephes. 5.31 . For this cause shall a man leaue his father and mother ; and cleaue to his wife . As also the wife in the like respect , is bound to the like dutie toward her husband . Not that marriage exempteth any from their due honour and obedience to parentes , but to declare that the vnion betweene man and wife , is greater , then betweene the children and the parentes . And indeede , the true loue of the husband to the wife , and of the wife to the husband , surmounteth all loue of children to their parents .

The husband and the wife , haue their secret counsels and communication of matters concerning their profit and commoditie . The wife is more obedient to her husband , and the husband more desirous to please his wife , then their parents : yea , and at length it falleth out , that they depart from their parentes , to keepe house by themselues . And this plainely appeared in Lea and Rachell being sisters , Gen. 26. and the wiues of Iacob . For Iacob grieued at the wrong offered him by their father Laban , boldly made his moane to them .

Whereupon they also complaining of their father , agreed with Iacob , and consented togither , to leaue their father , and to follow their husband Iacob . Herein likewise consisteth an other dutie of the husband to the wife , and of the wife to the husband : namely , that they shew no greater secrecie or communication , of their household affaires to their parents , then mutually each to other : and this rule is especially to be put in practise , when there groweth any discontent betweene themselues . For if the husband shal complaine to his parents of his wife : or the wife of her husband , such dealing might breed a most dangerous iealousie , and consequently perhaps irreconciliable dissention and strife . But if it should grow to any complaint , it were requisite , so discreetly to prosecute the matter , as that the wife should come to her husbands parents , & the husband to the wifes parents . So should all cause of iealousie cease , and the complaint procure most assured remedie .

This loue and agreement in marriage produceth yet another dutie , common both to the husband and the wife . And that is , that they neuer seeke , neyther once thinke of diuorce . And to that ende , let them remember what is written : Mat. 19.6 . That which God hath ioyned togither , let no man put asunder . Likewise , that nothing but Adulterie , may separate those that are vnited by marriage .

All other agreements and contracts , made by mutuall consent , may be broken and dissolued , by the like consent of both parties : but in the contract of marriage , Almightie God commeth in as a witnesse : yea , he receiueth the promise of both parties , as ioyning them in that estate .

And this doth Salomon note , Pro. 2.17 . where hee obiecteth to the Harlot , that shee hath forgotten the couenant or alliance of her God . But Malachie speaketh more plainly , and giueth a reason , why God punished such husbands , as leauing their lawfull wiues , tooke others : Mala. 2.14 . Because ( saith he ) the Lord hath beene witnesse betweene thee and the wife of thy youth , against whom thou hast transgressed , yet is she thy companion , and the wife of thy couenant . The promise therefore to God cannot be broken , but onely by his authoritie .

In the dayes of Moses , husbands were easily and soone intreated , to forsake their wiues , by giuing them a Bill of diuorce : yet so far was this course from being lawfull , that contrariwise ; Mat. 19.8 . Iesus Christ saith : that it was tolerated onely in respect of the hardnesse of husbands hearts , who otherwise would haue vexed their wiues , and intreated them cruelly .

And this libell containing the cause of diuorce , and putting away of the woman , did iustifie her , and condemne the man . For seeing it was neuer giuen in case of adulterie , Leuit. 20.10 . Iohn 8.5 . ( which was punished with death ) all other causes alledged in the libell , tended to iustifie the woman : and declare , that she was wrongfully diuorced , and so condemned the husband , as one that contraried the first institution of Marriage : whereto , Iesus Christ condemning this corruption ; doth returne them , saying : Jt was not so from the beginning : and therefore whosoeuer shall put away his wife , Mat. 19.8 . except it bee for whoredome , and marrieth another , committeth adulterie : and whosoeuer marrieth her , which is diuorced , doth commit adulterie with her . So straight is the bond of marriage .

Hereof it followeth , that notwithstanding , whatsoeuer difficulties that may arise between the husband and the wife ▪ whether it be long , tedious , and incurable sicknesse of either partie : whether naturall and contrary humours , that breede debate , wrangling , or strife , about household affaires : whether it bee any vice , as the husband to bee a drunkard , or the wife a slouthfull , idle , or vnthriftie huswife : whether either partie forsake the trueth , and profession of religion , doe fall to idolatrie or heresie . Yet still the bond of marriage remaineth stedfast ; and not to be dissolued . Neither may they bee separated , euen by their owne mutual consent . For as the holy Ghost hath pronounced : Mat. 19.6 . That which God hath ioyned togither , let no man put asunder . And therefore S. Paul saith : 1. Cor. 7.12 . If any brother hath a wife , that beleeueth not , if she be content to dwell with him , let him not forsake here & the woman , which hath a husband that beleeueth not , if he can be content to dwell with her , let her not forsake him . Also because some did suppose , that the vnbeleefe , in any of the parties , might breede some pollution or disquiet in marriage : he answereth no : his reason is : For the vnbeleeuing husband , is sanctified by his beleeuing wife : and the vnbeleeuing wife , by her beleeuing husband . And this he proueth , by affirming , that the children issuing of such a marriage , be holy : that is to say , partakers of the couenant of God , and consequently accepted into the fellowship of the Church . Onely he addeth this exception : Jf the vnbeleeuing man depart and forsake the beleeuing wife , shee is not subiect to follow him . And yet must this be vnderstood , where such departure ariseth , eyther vpon hatred , that he beareth to the true religion that his wife professeth , or vpon a desire to vse his polluted and false religion . For herein cannot his wife follow him , without danger of defil● 〈◊〉 ●riuing of her selfe of the profession of the 〈◊〉 ●ogither with the food of her soule .

Li●●●●se , where Saint Paul speaking of the husb●●d and wife , 1. Cor. 7.11 . both beleeuers , saith : If the woman depart from her husband , let her remaine vnmarried , or bee reconciled to her husband . He therein meaneth not , that it shall be lawfull for the woman , because shee cannot beare the troublesome nature of her husband , or to auoide strife and debate , to depart and liue as a widdowe : but onely he sheweth , that when the husband vpon such like occasion , shall put away , or cast off his wife , yet is not she at her libertie to marrie another : but must remaine vnmarried , and labour to be reconciled . And therefore are those women , which vpon the hard dealing , or troublesome dispositions of their husbands , do forsake them , greatly to be reproued , as thereby giuing occasion of great mischiefe and trouble : as also are those husbands , who vpon like occasion , doe forsake their wiues . For seeing nothing may make diuorce , but Adulterie , euery purpose and determination , to part vpon any other occasion or reason , is restrained by Gods ordinance , & the law of marriage . And for as much , as it is not lawfull for vs to continue in such separation , the whole course of our liues : neither is it lawfull so to abide at all , eyther so much as to enter thereinto .

If therefore vpon such occasion , the husband forsake his wife , or the wife her husband , rather then to continue the mischiefe begunne , let them returne togither againe ; and thinke , that the shortest follies doe least hurt .

If they alledge their intreatie , in their opinion , intolerable , and their nature so contrary , that they cannot liue without strife and debate . Also , that beeing asunder , and quiet in conscience , free from trouble , they may the better applie themselues , and imploy their time in praier .

The answere is , that such infirmities must not dissolue , or breake the bond of marriage , and their duties to liue togither : but let them thinke that God hath called them to the exercise of patience , which vpon heartie prayer be graunted to them .

Let them labour , each to beare with other , that they may liue in peace , and continually pray to GOD , to giue them grace so to doe .

Let them remember , that the diuell transformeth himselfe into an Angell of light , when by propounding a dutie to liue in quiet , and consequently a meane to pray vnto God , for the compassing thereof , hee induceth them to gaine-say Gods prohibition , and also to seperate that , which God hath ioyned togither . For as the coniunction commeth of God , so the separation and diuorce proceedeth from the diuell .

If they reply , that by liuing asunder ; so that they marrie not againe , they breake not the bond of marriage : let them remember , that marriage being ordained for a remedie against fornication , for the generation ad bringing vp of children , and also for a helpe each to other , in mutuall societie , and inseparable conuersation of life : yet doth there appeare no token or effect of marriage , in those that liue asunder , albeit they marrie not againe . So that the benefite of marriage , consisteth not only in the procreation of children , but also in the natural societie of the two diuers sexes . Otherwise it could not be said , that there were any marriage betweene two old folkes .

This vnion of marriage , yet teacheth vs another duetie , common both to the man and to the wife . Which is , that their goods bee common betweene them . That a common wealth may in some sort bee said to bee happie , where they haue no vse of these words : Mine , and thine . But in marriage especially , they ought not to be heard . If the wife haue brought most goods in marriage the marriage once consummate and made , her part is gone , and they are gone , and they are made common : as also are the debts , whether hers , or her husbands . And therefore can neither of them say : This is mine , but this is ours . When a woman hath brought great goods , yet may shee not say : I will doe with mine owne what I list : for she her selfe , is not her owne , but her husbandes .

The husband , as the head and chiefe guide of the familie , must haue the custodie & chiefe gouernement of the goods in the house : yet may he discharge himselfe of the whole , or of part , as himselfe shall thinke meet and conuenient : yet let him remember , that hee intreat her not as a seruant , by giuing her money , as it were in mistrust , or with condition to returne him a particular account . For the husbandes mistrust , doth many times prouoke the woman : and the wiues vaine expence , breedeth mistrust in the husband : but the faithfull and discreet employment , and good vsage of the wife , and her husbands confidence in her , will procure , that as the goods be common to both , so each alike shall vndertake the custodie and employment of the same .

Hereunto , for a conclusion of this point , we will yet adde two dueties , common both to the husband and the wife . The first , that they dayly pray to God to giue them grace , to liue togither in peace and loue , and that each may be a helpe to others saluation . Let all such as desire to enioy such a felicitie , vnderstand , that they must dayly pray to God for the obtaining thereof . And let those that liue in strife and debate , examine themselues , whether they haue no cause to impute their miserable estate , to their neglect of this dutie . The second , consisteth in the practise of the same : which Saint Paul teacheth , saying : Let those that be married , 1. Cor. 7.29 . be as if they were not married . But how ? By so enioying the commoditie , and contentation of marriage , that the benefite of their coniunction , breed no diuorce betweene God and them : likewise , that thereby they bee not hindered , or made slacke in any dutie toward God and their neighbours : as also that no affliction depending or proceeding of marriage , withdraw them , or force them to resolue of any thing contrary to the vnion of marriage , & their christian profession , that they bee the children of God .

The particular dueties of the husband toward the wife , are : first to protect her , to haue regard and care ouer her , &c. Ruth 3.9 . Secondly , that hee vnfainedly loue her , out of which fountaine , springeth this dutie , that hee must beare with her infirmities , and not by and by , to enter into bitternesse and wrath : Colos. 1. Pet. 3.7 . 3.16 . To the same end S. Peter exhorting husbands to behaue themselues discreetly , and with knowledge and wisedome toward their wiues , her requireth of them 2 things : First , that they neuer say nor do any thing , that may iustly offend their wiues : as some there be , who being prodigall , great spenders , or idle and slacke in their businesse , do cause their wiues and children to languish in pouertie .

Others , who haunting Tauernes , Alehouses , and Gaming , doe consume and waste that , which should maintaine their familie .

Others , who comming home drunke , doe beat and vexe their wiues , and as it were , driue them into dispaire : Others , who by vile & bitter speeches , by threatnings , & other vnchristian actions , vnworthy a husband , doe prouoke their wiues , and so stirre vp such strife and debate , as do conuert the confort of marriage into an hell .

Seeing therefore , that the husband is head , he ought in such wisedome , reason , and discretion to beare himselfe , that he giue his wife no iust occasion of offence or prouocation : yea , he must remember , that if the head be drunke , the whole body is in danger of weake gouernment , euen of lying in the myre .

Secondly , that albeit the wife should minister iust cause of griefe and displeasure , yet that the husband should not thereof take occasion against his wifes infirmities , or enter into bitternesse , tauntes , or disquietnesse : but discreetly , and patiently beare with her , that so they might quietly and louingly liue togither .

The hurt or weaknesse of any one member of the bodie , prouoketh not the head to wrath or bitternesse : but rather to compassion , and an inclination to helpe it . And indeed , whereas God hauing created woman the weaker vessell , as Saint Peter noteth , did so ioyne her to man , it was not to the end , that hee striuing with so fraile a vessel , should bruise and breake it : but that by gentle and discreet intreating , he should quietly enioy the helpe , that God hath giuen him .

Let him therefore , after the counsell of Saint Peter , 1. Pet. 3.7 . Gen 3.18 . so respect her , as one , who albeit she be weake , is neuerthelesse a profitable vessell for him . Moreouer , let him loue and honour her as one , whom notwithstanding the frailtie of her sexe , God hath so honoured , and Jesus Christ so loued , that being togither with man , redeemed with his blood , shee is togither with her husband , coheite of life euerlasting .

A christall Glasse , is a precious and profitable vessell , yet brittle : so is the married woman . For albeit she be brittle , yet is she profitable to her husband , and precious in the sight of God , as a child of God , and member of Christ . As therefore a man doth more carefully take heed of breaking such a glasse , then some earthen or tinne vessell , the one being more base , and the other more strong : so likewise should the husband haue such regard of the frailetie of his wife , that hee may beare with her , and intreate her with gentlenesse and discretion : that hee may vse her , as a precious and profitable vessel , to his comfort & ioy . And in as much , as prayer is an excellent seruice , that God requireth of vs , and the ready meanes to purchase his blessings , let the husband discreetly beare with his wife , least otherwise through their strife and contention , their prayers ( as S. Peter saith ) might be letted and interrupted . 1. Pet. 3.7 .

Yet must we not say , but the husband , both may , and ought to tell his wife of her infirmimities , that she may amend . But here we are to enter into consideration of sundrie points . First hee is especially to reproue her offences against God : As when Rachell said vnto Iacob : Gen. 30.1 . Giue me children or else I die . Hee reproued her of importunitie , saying : Am I in Gods stead , who hath withholden from thee , the fruite of thy wombe ? Also when Iobs wife saide to her husband : Doest thou abide in thy integritie ? Iob. 2.9 . Curse God and die . He wisely reproued such a wicked speech saying : Thou speakest as an vnwise woman . What ? shall we receiue good at the hand of God , and not receiue euill ? Secondly , that it be with gentlenesse and testimony of good will : as Helcana dealt with his wife Hanna , 1 , Sam. 1. when she mourned because she had no children . And indeede it is meet , that the husband should reproue his wife louingly , rather by perswasion , then by force . For as in a great stormie winde , a man lappeth his cloake about him , and holdeth it fast for feare of loosing , but when the wind is downe , and the weather calme , he letteth it hang easily : so , when husbands will ( as it were ) perforce , wrest away their wiues infirmities , many of them will obstinatly resist , yet contrariwise , by sweet words , and louing exhortations , they might bee wonne , voluntarily to forsake them .

Thirdly , the husband must seeke diligently to remoue the occasion and stone , whereat his wife stumbleth , and taketh occasion of griefe . So when Sarah was moued against Abraham , Gen. 16. because of Agar , and obiected vnto him , albeit wrongfully , that hee was the cause , that shee contemned her : bearing with his wife , hee remoued the cause of the contention , in suffering her to turne Agar out of doores .

He must also take heed , that he himselfe bee not tainted with the same vice , which hee reproueth in his wife , least shee stop his mouth , with the reproach of the same fault : but rather by giuing her example by the contrary vertue : let her be induced and led to follow him . In reprouing the wife , the husband must alwayes vse such discretion , that shee be not brought into contempt : and therefore it should neuer bee done in the presence of moe then themselues . For as it is meere folly for a husband to praise and commend his wife in company : so is it as dangerous , to checke and reproue her before witnesse . For indeed thereof it commeth , that women , not being able to beare that disgrace , will replie , and so prouoke strife , and dissention in open presence , which wil redound to great reproch & offence . And therefore , as the husband must not flatter his wife , so hee must not reproue her before strangers .

A wise husband , and one that seeketh to liue in quiet with his wife , must obserue these three rules . Often to admonish : Seldome to reproue : And neuer to smite her .

Let the husband also remember , that the infirmities of his wife , must bee eyther taken away or borne withall . So that he , that can take them quite away , maketh his wife farre more commodious and fit for his purpose : and hee that can beare with them , maketh himselfe better , and more vertuous .

The husband is also to vnderstand , that as God created the woman , not of the head , and so equall in authoritie with her husband : so also he created her not of Adams foote , that shee should be troden downe and despised , but hee tooke her out of the rib , that she might walke ioyntly with him , vnder the conduct and gouernment of her head .

And in that respect , the husband is not to commaund his wife , in manner , as the Master his seruant , but as the soule doth the bodie , as being conioyned in like affection & good will . For as the soule in gouerning the bodie , tendeth to the benefite and commoditie of the same : so ought the dominion and commandement of the husband ouer his wife , to tende to reioyce and content her .

To conclude : As God hath testified his singular goodnesse vnto man , in creating him an helper to assist him : so let him consider , in how many sorts she is to him a helper , to passe ouer this life in blessednesse . And let this dayly seeking of such a benefite receiued at the hands of God , induce and stirre him vp to render thanks , and to dispose himselfe to vse it well , to his owne comfort and saluation : and not to abuse it , to the destruction both of himselfe and his wife . But if he chaunceth ( as many doe ) vpon troubles , and afflictions in marriage , let him remember , that the same doe proceede , not properly from marriage , but from the corruptions of the parties married : and for his parte , let him studie to amende his infirmities and faults , by amendment of life : and withall , pray to God to graunt the like grace vnto his wife , to the ende , that the more they recouer the Image of God , the more feeling they may haue of the felicitie of Marriage : which Adam and Eue had enioyed , had they continued , as they were created , in the Image of God . And the particular duties of the wife to the husband , are principally these : first , that she bee a helper vnto him , &c. Secondly , that she bee obedient vnto him , &c. These foure speciall duties are partly touched before , and partly afterwards .

As loue matrimoniall is greatly allowed of God , and much commended of all good men , as an ordinate , holie , and godly loue : so contrariwise , hatred , dissention , strife , debate , vnquietnes and frowardnes in mariage , highly displeaseth God , and much grieueth al good and godly men . And therefore the deuill , the enemie of all vnitie , concord and agreement , laboureth by all meanes he can , ( especially at the first comming of the maried folkes to dwell together ) to sow dissention , discord , and to cause them not to agree , but to dislike one of the other ; against whom they must diligently watch , by feruent and earnest prayer to God , that the diuell preuaile not against them , by such too early disagreement . For as two boords at the first , if they be not well coupled and ioyned together , they neuer are fastned right afterward : but if the first coupling and ioyning together bee good , then can there afterward no violence driue the boords asunder : yea , the whole boord doth sooner breake , then the glewing of them together : euen so the husband and wife must bee verie carefull and diligent , that their first cohabitation & dwelling togither , The best pollicie in marriage , is to begin well . belouing , delectable , and friendly ; and not separated through anie spightfull contention or discord : so shall the whole estate of their mariage be more comfortable , and prosper the better as long as they shal liue . And though there happen to arise any sparke of discorde betwixt them , yet let them beware , that at the least there bee not too much displeasure , disdaine , and inconuenience kindled thereby . For if at their first dwelling together , there shall fall out such vntowardnesse , and vncomely discorde , then will it now and then bee breaking out : euen as it fareth with great wounds , and broken legges or armes , which seldome are so throughly healed , but sometimes they haue paine at the change of the weather . So likewise , if married folkes behaue themselues thus vntowardly and vnhonestlie the one towards the other at the first , and if iars and discord be once begun betweene them , the old canker of hatred will breed againe , though it bee scaled afterward . Let the one therefore learne betime to be acquainted with the nature and conditions of the other , and to apply themselues according to the same , in as much as they must needes dwell together , one to enioy another , and the one to liue and dye with the other , and so stedfastly and vnfainedly to loue one the other , that neither of them haue anie thing so deare , which they cannot bee content to giue and bestow one vpon the other : yea , euen their owne life , if need require . And therefore husbands and wiues must euen at the beginning of their marriage giue their diligence , that all iniuries and offences may be auoyded : for tender and soft loue is soone dissolued and broken . So that this new loue and coniunction of the minde , must be nourished with benigne , sweet , & gentle conuersation , vntill it be so increased & fastned , that no great storme be able to dissolue or breake it . And all suspition must be at all times , but specially at the beginning of matrimonie , eschued and shunned , least they should first begin to hate , or euer they begin to loue : yea , and they must beware they doe not faine any suspition , nor conceiue it of any light occasions and coniectures : for vnto such they in no wise must giue eare , although there were some shew and great apparance of likelihood . And this will bee a good meanes to effect and worke this : namely , if they accustome themselues to speake kindly , louingly , and cheerfullie one to the other . For as the ancient Counsellors of king Salomon gaue wise aduise and counsell vnto Rehoboam king of Israel , 1. King . 12.7 , 8. &c. to the end that hee might win the loue and good liking of the people : Speake kindly vnto them ( said they ) and they will serue thee for euer after : which counsell not being followed , great inconuenience and mischiefe after befell vnto him , &c. Euen so likewise , if the husband bee desirous to procure the loue of his wife , and to winne her to God : or if the wife be desirous , and would also procure the loue of her husband , and win him to God ; then they must draw on one another with sweet and gentle words of loue , speaking kindly one to another : Iudg. 19.3 . Prou. 15.1 . because gentle words do pacifie anger , as water quencheth fire . But if they shall vse taunts , or words of reproach and despight one against another , Gal. 5.9 . much hurt then may ensue thereof : for a little leauen sowreth the whole lumpe . And therefore let them vse to giue one to the other their dutifull names and titles , and to eschue and shun the contrarie . For example , like as the spightfull Iewes , which hated the Lord Iesus , would not vouchsafe to giue him his name , when they talked of him , or with him , but to shew their vtter dislike of him they vsed to say : Iohn . 7.11.15.35 . Is this he ? or , art thou he that wilt doe such a thing ? Js not this he ? &c. Againe , Whither will he goe that we shall not finde him ? They would not say , Is not this Iesus Christ ? or the Sonne of God ? This is a most despightfull kinde of speaking , and doth bewray abundance of malice that was hidden in their harts : euen so it sometimes falleth out betwixt the husband and the wife , betwixt the father and the sonne , betwixt the master and the seruant , &c. that they could speake dutifully one to an other : but contempt and disdaine , anger and malice , will not suffer the one to affoord vnto the other their due names and titles , least they should bee put in minde of those duties , which these names require : whereout Sathan sucketh no small aduantage : whereas many times the very name of husband , or wife , father or sonne , master or seruant , &c. doth greatly helpe to perswade the minde , and to winne the affection : yea , the very mentioning of these names doe oftentimes leaue a print of dutie behinde in the conscience .

Husbands must not forget this point , namely , that it is not sufficient for them to declare , and outwardly make a shew of a good life , in words and precepts onely , but also in life and deede : so that two things are very necessarie for him to rule withall : to wit , wisedome , and example , and that he himselfe fulfill the thing that he commandeth to bee done . The life and outward conuersation of a man , whether it bee good or euill , doth not onely perswade , but also constraine and inforce . We doe see how mightie and auailable this or the like exhortation of a Captaine is in the time of warre and battell : Oh my souldiers , doe that ye shall see me doe : the which contempt of death in the Captaine , doth so creepe through the whole host , that there is not one , be he neuer so feeble and weake hearted , that doth esteeme his life , for the which hee perceiueth that his Captaine careth so little for . Thus did Christ with his Apostles and Martyrs , draw the world vnto the Christian faith : Leuit. 11.44 . & 19.2 . & 20.7 . and 21.8 . Iohn 13.15 . Phil. 3.17 . 1. Tim. 1.16 . 2. Thess. 3.9 . For as they liued , so they spake , and as they spake , so they liued . Therfore if the husband would haue his wife to bee temperate , quiet , chast , painful in her calling , religious , &c. then he must be carefull that he be not distempered , vnquiet , no whoremonger , not carelesse in his calling , nor irreligious &c. So that if hee commaund any thing to be done , he must first looke that hee denie not to doe the same himselfe , and so shall his wife and familie obey the same , and to be the more readier and willinger to doe it , being both honest and lawfull to bee done .

The very name of a wife , is like the Angell which staied Abrahams hand , Genes. 22.11 . when the stroke was comming . If Dauid because hee could not expresse the commoditie and comfort of vnitie , and brotherly loue , was faine to say : Oh how good and ioyfull a thing it is , Psalm. 133.1 . for brethren to dwell together in vnitie ? Then let husbands weigh and consider , how harsh and bitter a thing it is for them and their wiues to dwell together in enmitie and strife . For the first yeare after marriage , Deut. 24.5 . God would not haue the husband goe to warre with his enemies , to the end that he and his wife might learne to know one anothers conditions and qualities , and so afterwards liue in godly peace , and not to warre one with another , and therefore God gaue and appoynted , that the new married husband that yeare is to stay at home and settle his loue , that he might not warre and iarre after : for the God of peace dwelleth not in the house of warre . As a kingdome cannot stand , if it be diuided : Matth. 12.25 . so a house cannot stand , if it be diuided : for strife is like fire , which leaues nothing but dust , smoke and ashes behinde it . We reade in the Scriptures of masters that strooke their seruants , but neuer of any that strooke his wife , but rebuked her . Genes. 19.33 . Lot was drunk when he lay with his daughters in stead of a wife : and so is he which striketh his wife in stead of his seruants . The law sheweth how a bondman should be corrected : but the wife is like a iudge , which is ioyned in commission with her husband to correct other . Wilt thou strike one in his owne house ? no more shouldst thou strike thy wife in her house . She is come to thee as to a Sanctuary , to defend her from hurt : and canst thou hurt thy selfe ? Therefore Abraham said to Lot , Genes. 13.8 . Are wee not brethren ? that is , may brethren iarre ? but they may say , are wee not one ? can one chide with another ? can one fight with another ? Hee is a bad Oste that welcomes his guest with stripes . Doth a King trample on his Crowne ? Salomon calleth the wife , Prou. 12.4 . The crowne of her husbands therefore hee which woundeth her , woundeth his owne honour . She is a free Citizen in thine house , and hath taken the peace of thee the first day of her mariage , Genes. 2.23 . Ephes. 5.19 . to holde thy hands till shee release thee againe . Adam saith of his spouse , This is flesh of my flesh : But no man ( saith Paul ) euer hated his owne flesh . So then , if a man aske whether he may strike his wife ? God saith nay : thou maist not hate thy wife : for no man hateth his owne flesh : shewing , that he should not come neere blowes , but thinke his wrath too much .

Some husbands are wont to say , that they will rule their wiues , whatsoeuer they bee , or howsoeuer they came by them , and that it is in the hand and power of the husband , what , and of what qualities and conditions she shall bee . True it is , that a great part of this doth rest and lie in the husband , so that he vnderstand as hee ought to doe , that mariage is the supreme and most excellent part of all amitie and friendship : and that it farre differeth from tyrannie , the which doth compell men to obey . Truly it may force the bodie , but not the will , in the which all loue and amitie doth consist and stand : the which if it bee drawne and forced , doth resist , and bow like a palme tree to the contrary part . And the husband may assure himselfe that there cannot bee any quiet mariage or vnitie , where hee and his wife doth not agree in will and minde : the which two , are the beginning and seate of al amitie and friendship . And such husbands as do brag , and think themselues able to rule , and ouer-rule their wiues : by that time they haue proceeded and gone a little further , they shall well feele and perceiue themselues to bee beguiled , and finde that thing to bee most hard and intricate , the which to bee done , they esteemed most light and easie .

Some husbands there be , that through euill and rough handling , and in threatning of their wiues , haue and vse them not as wiues , but as their seruants . And yet surely they are but very fooles , that iudge and thinke matrimonie to be a dominion . For such as would be feared , doe afterwards pitiouslie lament and complaine , that they can finde no loue in their wiues , whose loue and amitie , through their own crueltie and hard dealing , they haue turned into hatred . And whereas at the beginning , they glorying and cracking thus cruelly to bee their wiues masters , they haue now purchased vnto themselues a most miserable and lamentable life in time to come : seeing now that all loue and pleasure is cast aside , and compassed with feare and suspition , hatred and sorrow . Surely , if a husband ( as nature , reason , and the holie Scripture doe witnesse ) bee the head ouer his wife , and God their father : there ought to bee betweene them such societie and fellowship : yea , and greater then is betweene the father and his sonne , and not such as is betweene the master and the seruant . And amongst many reasons that may bee vsed to perswade the husband and wife to liue together louingly , quietly , and christianly , this is not the least : namely , that for as much as neither of them is certaine how long they shall liue together , and then the partie that ouerliueth purposing to marrie againe , and hauing been churlish , froward , &c. with his former wife : or she with her first husband , which their so hard dealing one with the other before being knowne , will ( no doubt ) be an occasion that they shall not speed & match so well , as otherwise they might , if they had behaued themselues peaceably , and dutifully in their first mariage .

What the dutie of a wife is towards her husband .

THis dutie is comprehended in these three points . First , that shee reuerence her husband . Secondly , that she submit her selfe , and bee obedient vnto him . And lastly , that she doo not weare gorgeous apparell , beyond her degree and place , but her attire must bee comely and sober , according to her calling . The first point is prooued by the Apostles Peter and Paule : 1. Pet. 3.1 . Ephes. 5.22 . Col. 3.18 . 1. Cor. 7.3 . whereby they set forth the wiues duties to their husbands commanding them to bee obedient vnto them , although they be prophane and irreligious , and that they ought to doe so much the more , that by their honest life and conuersation , they might win them to the obedience of the Lord .

Now for so much as the Apostle would haue Christian wiues , that are matched with vngodly husbands , and such as are not yet good Christians , to reuerence and obey them : much more they should shew themselues thankful to God , and willingly and dutifully performe this obedience and subiection , when they are coupled in mariage with godlie , wise , discreete , learned , gentle , louing , quiet , patient , honest , and thriftie husbands . Wiues must be seruiceable and obedient vnto their husbands , & stand in a reuerend awe of them . Ephes 5.33 . And therefore they ought euermore to reuerence them , and to endeuour with true obedience and loue to serue them , to be loth in any wise to offend them : yea , rather to bee carefull and diligent to please them , that their soule may blesse them . And if at any time it shall happen , that the wife shall anger or displease her husband , by doing or speaking any thing that shall grieue him , she ought neuer to rest vntill she hath pacified him , and gotten his fauour againe . And if he shal chance to blame her without a cause , & for that which she could not helpe or remedie ( which thing sometimes happeneth euen of the best men ) yet she must beare it patiently , and giue him no vncomely or vnkinde words for it : but euermore look vpon him with a louing and cheerfull countenance , and so rather let her take the fault vpon her , Chearefull in countenance . then seeme to be displeased . Let her be alway merie and cheerfull in his companie , but yet not with too much lightnesse . She must beware in any wise of swelling , powting , lowring , or frowning : for that is a token of a cruell , and vnlouing heart , except it bee in respect of sinne , or in time of sicknesse . She may not bee sorrowfull for any aduersitie that God sendeth : but alwaies to be careful that nothing be spilt , or go to waste , through her negligence . In any wise , Genes. 27.9 . see that she bee quicke and cleanly about her husbands meate and drinke , and to prepare him the same according to his diet in due season . Let her shew her selfe in word and deede , wise , humble , courteous , gentle , and louing towards her husband , and also towards such as he doth loue ; and then shall she leade a blessed life . Let her shew her selfe , not onely to loue no man so well as her husband ; but also to loue none other at all , but him , vnlesse it bee for her husbands sake . Genes. 2.23 , 24 Matth. 19.5 . 1. Cor. 6.16 . Ephes. 5.31 . Wherefore let the wife remember , that ( as the Scripture reporteth ) she is one bodie with her husband ; so that shee ought to loue him none otherwise then her selfe : How the Wife ought to behaue her selfe vnto her Husband . for this is the greatest vertue of a maried woman , this is the thing that wedlocke signifieth and commaundeth , that the wife should reckon , to haue her husband for both father , mother , brother , and sister : like as Adam was vnto Eue : and as the most noble and chast woman Andromache said her husband Hector was vnto her : Thou art vnto me both father and mother , Mine owne deare husband , and well beloued brother .

And if it be true that men doe say , that friendship maketh one heart of two : much more trulie and effectuallie ought wedlocke to doe the same , which farre passeth al maner both friendship and kindred . Therefore it is not sayd , that mariage doth make one man , or one minde , or one bodie of two , but cleerely one person : wherefore matrimonie requireth a greater dutie of the husband towards his wife , and the wife towards her husband , then otherwise they are bound to shew to their parents . The Apostle biddeth , Rom. 12.15 . to reioyce with them that reioyce , and weepe with them that weepe . With whom should the wife reioice , rather then with her louing husband ? Or with whom should she weepe and mourne , rather then with her owne flesh ? I will not leaue thee , 2. King . 21.5 . saith Elisha to Eliah : so she should say , Gal. 6.2 . I will neuer leaue him till death . Beare one anothers burthen ) saith Paul . ) Who shall beare one anothers burthen , if the wife do not beare the husbands burthen ? Wicked Iezabel comforted her husband in his sicknesse : 1. King . 21.5 . 1. King . 14.4 . Genes. 12.1 . and Ieroboams wife sought for his health , though she was as bad as he . God did not bid Sarah leaue her father and countrie , as he did bid her husband , yet because he bad Abraham leaue his , she left hers too : shewing that she was content not onely to bee his play-fellow , Genes. 2.18 . but his yoke-fellow too . Beside a yoke-fellow , she is called a Helper , to helpe him in his labours , to helpe him in his troubles , to help him in his sicknesse , like a woman phisition , sometime with her strength , & sometime with her counsell : 1. Cor. 1.27 . for sometime as God confoundeth the wise by the foolish , and the strong by the weake ; so he teacheth the wise by the foolish , and helpeth the strong by the weake . Therfore Peter saith , 1. Pet. 3.1 . Husbands are wonne by the conuersation of their wiues . As if he should say , sometime the weaker vessell is the stronger vessell : and Abraham may take counsell of Sarah , as Naaman was aduised by his seruant . The Shunamits counsell made her husband receiue a Prophet into his house : 2. King . 5.3 . & 4.9 . Hest. 7.3 . and Hesters counsell made her husband spare the Church of the Iewes : so some haue been better helpe to their husbands , then their husbands haue bin to them : Deut. 32.21 . Rom. 10.19 . for it pleaseth God to prouoke the wise with the foolish , as hee did the Iewes with the Gentiles . Beside a helper , Prou. 5.18 , 19. 1. Sam. 16.23 . she is called a Comforter too : and therefore the man is bid to reioyce in his wife : which is as much to say , that wiues must be the reioycing of their husbands , euen like Dauids harp to comfort Saul : A good wife therefore is knowne , when her words and deedes and countenance are such as her husband loueth She must not examine whether he be wise , or simple , but that she is his wife , and therefore they that are bound must obey : as Abigail loued her husband , 1. Sam. 52.3 . though he were a foole , churlish , & euill conditioned : for the wife is as much despised for taking rule ouer her husband , as he for yeelding it vnto her . Therefore one saith , that a mankind woman is a monster : that is , halfe a woman , and halfe a man . It beseemeth not the mistresse to be a master , no more then it becommeth the master to be mistresse : but both must saile with their owne winde , and both keepe their standing .

Lastly , wee call the wife Huswife , that is , Genes. 38.14 . Genes. 34.1 . Why wiues are called huswiues . Titus 2.5 . house-wife , not a street-wife , one that gaddeth vp and downe , like Thamer : nor a field-wife , like Dinah , but a house-wife : to shew that a good wife keeps her house : and therefore Paul biddeth Titus to exhort women that they bee chaste and keeping at home : presently after chast , he saith keeping at home : as though home were chastities keeper . And therefore Salomon depainting , Prou. 7.12 . and describing the qualities of a whore , setteth her at the doore , now sitting vpon her stall , now walking in the streetes , now looking out of the window : 2. King . 9.30 . like cursed Iezabel , as if she held forth the glasse of temptation , for vanitie to gaze vpon . But chastitie careth to please but one , and therefore she keeps her closet , as if she were still at prayer .

Genes. 18.9 . The Angell asked Abraham ; Where is thy wife ? Abraham answered : She is in the tent . The Angell knew where she was : but hee asked , that he might see how women in old time did keepe their tents and houses . 2. King . 4.22 . It is recorded of the Shunamite , that she did aske her husband leaue to go vnto the Prophet , though she went to a Prophet , and went of a good errand , and for his cause as much as her owne : yet shee thought it not meete to goe farre abroad without her husbands leaue .

The second point is , that wiues submit themselues , Ephes. 5.22 , 23 1. Cor. 11 3. & 14.34 . and bee obedient vnto their owne husbands , as to the Lord , because the husband is by Gods ordinance , the wiues head : that is , her defender , teacher , and comforter : and therefore she oweth her subiection to her husband , like as the Church doth to Christ ; and because the example of Sarah , the mother of the faithfull , which obeyed Abraham and called him Lord , Genes. 18.12 . 1. Pet. 3.6 . moueth them thereunto . This point is partly handled before in the first point , as in the dutie of the husband to the wife .

As the Church should depend vpon the wisedome , discretion and wil of Christ , Ephes. 5.24 . and not follow what it selfe listeth : so must the wife also submit and apply her selfe to the discretion and will of her husband : euen as the gouernment and conduct of euery thing resteth in the head , not in the bodie . Moses writeth , Genes. 3.1 . that the Serpent was wise aboue all beasts of the field : and that hee did declare in assaulting the woman , that when he had seduced her , she might also seduce and deceiue her husband . 1. Tim. 2.14 . Saint Paul noting this , among other the causes of the womans subiection , doth sufficiently shew , that for the auoyding of the like inconueniences , it is Gods will that she should bee subiect to her husband , so that she shall haue no other discretion or will , but what may depend vpon her head . As also the same Moses saith : Genes. 3.16 . Thy desire shall be subiect to thy husband , and he shall rule ouer thee . This dominion ouer the wiues will doth manifestly appeare in this , that God in olde time ordained , Numb. 30.7 . that if the woman had vowed any thing vnto God , it should notwithstanding rest in her husband to disauow it . So much is the wiues will subiect to her husband : yet it is not meant , that the wife should not employ her knowledge and discretion which God hath giuen her , in the helpe , and for the good of her husband . But alwaies it must bee with condition to submit her selfe vnto him , acknowledging him to be her head , that finallie they may so agree in one , as the coniunction of mariage doth require . Yet as when in a Lute , or other musicall instrument , two strings concurring in one tune , the sound neuerthelesse is imputed to the strongest and highest : so in a well ordered household , there must be a communication , and consent of counsell and will betweene the husband and the wife : yet such , as the counsell and commandement may rest in the husband . True it is , that some women are wiser and more discreete then their husbands : as Abigail the wife of Naball , Prou. 16.1 . and 18.22 . and 19.14 . and 31. all . & others . Whervpon Salomon saith : A wise woman buildeth vp the house : and blessed is the man that hath a discreet wife . Yet still a great part of the discretion of such women , shall rest in acknowledging their husbands to bee their heads , and so vsing the graces that they haue receiued of the Lord , that their husbands may be honored , not contemned , neither of them nor of others : which falleth out contrarie , when the wife will seeme wiser then her husband . So that this modestie and gouernment ought to bee in a wife : namely , that she should not speake but to her husband , or by her husband . And as the voyce of him that soundeth a trumpet , is not so lowd , as the sound that it yeeldeth : so is the wisedome and word of a woman , of greater vertue and efficacie , when all that she knoweth , and can doe , is as if it were said and done by her husband . The obedience that the wife oweth to her husband , dependeth vpon this subiection of her will and wisedome vnto him . As 1. Pet. 3.6 . Ephes. 5.33 . Ester 1.1 , 2. &c. 12. So that women may not prouoke their husbands by disobedience , in matters that may bee performed without offence to God : neither to presume ouer him , either in kindred or wealth , or obstinately to refuse in a matter that may trouble household peace and quiet . For disobedience begetteth contempt of the husband , and contempt wrath , and is many times the cause of troubles betweene the man and the wife . If the obedience importeth any difficultie , she may for her excuse gently propound the same : yet vpon condition to obey , in case the husband should persist in his intent , so long as the discommoditie importeth no wickednesse . For it is better to continue peace by obedience , then to breake it by resistance . And indeede it is naturall in the members , to obey the conduct and gouernement of the head . Yet must not this obedience so far extend , as that the husband should command any thing contrary to her honour , credit and saluation , but as it is comely in the Lord : Col. 3.18 . Ephes. 5.22 . Therfore , as it were a monstrous matter , and the means to ouerthrow the person , that the body should , in refusing all subiection & obedience to the head , take vpon it to guide it selfe , and to commaund the head : so were it for the wife to rebell against the husband . Let her then beware of disordering and peruerting the course , which God in his wisedome hath established : and with all let her vnderstand , that going about it , she riseth not so much against her husband , as against GOD : and that it is her good , and honor , to obey God in her subiection & obedience to her husband . If in the practise of this dutie , she finde any difficultie or trouble , through the inconsiderate course of her husband , or otherwise ; let her remember , that the same proceedeth not of the order established by the Lorde , but through some sin afterward crept in , which hath mixed gall among the honie of the subiection and obedience , that the woman should haue enioyed in that estate , wherein together with Adam , she was created after the image of God . And so let her humble her selfe in the sight of God , and be well assured that her subiection and obedience is acceptable vnto him . Likewise , that the more that the image of God is restored in her , and her husband , through the regeneration of the holie Ghost , the lesse difficultie shall she finde in that subiection and obedience : as many in their mariage haue in deede tried , to their great contentment and consolation .

Further , there is a certaine discretion and desire required of women to please the nature , inclinations & maners of their husbands , so long as the same imports no wickednesse . For as the looking-glasse , howsoeuer faire and beautifully adorned , is nothing woorth , if it shew that countenance sad , which is pleasant : or the same pleasant , that is sad : so the woman deserueth no commendation , that ( as it were ) contrarying her husband , when he is merie , sheweth her selfe sad ; or in his sadnesse vttereth her mirth : for as men should obey the lawes of their cities , so women the maners of their husbands . To some women , a becke of her husband is sufficient to declare that there is somewhat amisse that displeaseth him , and specially if she beare her husband any reuerence . For an honest matron hath no neede of any greater staffe , but of one word , or one sowre countenance . Moreouer , a modest and chaste woman that loueth her husband , must also loue her house , as remembring , that the husband that loueth his wife , cannot so well like of the sight of any tapestrie , as to see his wife in his house . For the woman that gaddeth from house to house to prate , confoundeth her selfe , her husband , and familie : Titus 2.5 . But there are foure reasons why the woman is to goe abroad . First , to come to holie meetings , according to the dutie of godlinesse . The second , to visit such as stand in neede , as the dutie of loue and charitie doe require . The third , for employment and prouision in household affaires committed to her charge . And lastly , with her husband when hee shall require her . The wife must keepe a good tongue . Gen. 20.1 . &c. The euill and vnquiet life that some women haue , and passe with their husbands , is not so much for that they commit with , and in their persons , as it is for that they speake with their tongues . When the wife doth holde her peace , she keepeth the peace . The cause of domesticall combats . If the wife would keep silence when her husband beginneth to chide , he should not haue so vnquiet dinners , neither she the woorse supper : which surely is not so : for at the same time that the husband beginneth to vtter his griefe , the wife then beginneth to scold and chafe ; wherof doth follow , that now & then most vnnaturally they come to handy gripes , more beastlike than christianlike : which their so doing is both a great shame , Silence becommeth a woman . and a foule discredit to them both . The best meanes therefore that a wife can vse to obtaine , and maintaine the loue and good liking of her husband , is to bee silent , obedient , peaceable , patient , studious to appease his choler , if he bee angrie , painfull and diligent in looking to her businesse , Lacke of knowledge of Gods word , is the principall cause why wiues doe not their dutie to their husbands . to be solitarie and honest . The chiefe and speciall cause why most women do faile in not performing this dutie to their husbands , is , because they be ignorant of the word of God , which teacheth the same and all other duties : and therefore their soules and consciences not being brought into subiection to God and his word , they can neuer vntill then , yeeld and performe true subiection and obedience to their husbands , and behaue themselues so euery way , as christian wiues are in dutie bound to doe . But if wiues bee not so dutitiful , seruiceable , and subiect to their husbands , as in conscience they ought ; the onely cause thereof , for the most part , is through the want and neglect of the wise , discreet , and good gouernment that should be in the husbands : besides the want of good example that they shuld giue vnto their wiues both in word and deede . One heart and one will . For as the common saying is : Such a husband , such a wife : a good Iacke maketh a good Gill. For so much as mariage maketh of two persons one , How the loue , faithfulnesse , and dutie of maried folkes may be kept and increased . therefore the loue of the husband and wife may the better bee kept and increased , and so continued , if they remember the duties last spoken of , as also not forget these three points following .

1. They must be of one heart , will and mind , and neither to vpbraide , or cast the other in the teeth with their wants and imperfections any waies , or to pride themselues in their gifts : but rather the one to endeuour to supplie the others wants , that so they both helping & doing their best together , may be one perfect bodie .

2. It doth greatly increase loue , when the one faithfully serueth the other , when in things concerning mariage the one hideth no secrets nor priuities from the other , and the one doth not vtter or publish the frailties or infirmities of the other : and when of all that euer they obtaine or get , they haue but one common purse together , the one locking vp nothing from the other : and also when the one is faithfull to the other , in eating , drinking , and so in all their necessities and affaires . Likewise , when the one harkneth to the other , and when the one thinketh not scorne of the other , and when in matters concerning the gouernment of the house , the one will be counselled and aduised by the other : and alwaies the one to bee louing , kind , curteous , plaine , and gentle in words , maners and deedes .

3. Let the one learne euer to be obsequious , diligent , and seruiceable to the other in all other things . And this will the sooner come to passe , if the one obserue and marke what thing the other can away withall , or cannot away withall : and what pleaseth or displeaseth them . And so from thence-forth to do the one , and to leaue the other vndone . They must secretly keepe no euill will in their mindes , but tell their griefe . And if one of them bee angrie and offended with the other , then let the partie grieued , open and make knowne to the other their griefe in due time , and with discretion : for the longer a displeasure or euill will rageth in secret , the worse will be the discord . And this must bee obserued , that it bee done in a fit & conuenient time : because there is some season , in the which if griefes were shewed , it should make greater debate . As if the wife should goe about to tell or admonish her husband when he is out of patience , or moued with anger , it should then bee no fit time to talke with him . 1. Sam. 25.36 , 37. Therefore Abigail perceiuing Naball her husband to bee drunke , would not speake to him vntill the morning . Both the husband and wife must remember , that the one be not so offended and displeased with the maners of the other , 1. Cor. 7.10 , 11 , 12 , 13 , 14 , 15 , 16. Matth. 19.6 . Matth. 19.9 . & 5.33 . Luke . 16.18 . that they should thereupon forsake the companie one of the other : for that were like to one that being stung with the Bees , would therefore forsake the honie . And therefore no man may put away his wife for any cause , except for whoredome , which must be duly proued before a lawfull Iudge . But all godly and faithfull married folkes are to commend their state & mariage to God , by humble and feruent prayer , that he for his beloued sons sake , would so blesse them and their mariage , that they may so christianly and dutifully agree betweene themselues , that they may haue no cause of any separation or diuorcement . For like as all maner of medicines ( and speciallie as they that goe nighest death , as to cut off whole members , &c. ) are very lothsome and terrible : euen so is diuorcement indeed a medicine , but a perilous and terrible medicine . Therefore euery good Christian husband and wife , ought with all care and heedfulnesse , so to liue in mariage , that they haue no need of such medicine . As the holie Scripture maketh mention of many wiues and women that were wicked and vngodly , as partly may be seene by these quotations , 1. King . 11.1 , 2. Prou. 21.9.22.14 . and 25.24 . and 27.15 . Eccles. 7.28.30 : So contrariwise , the same sacred Scripture also commendeth vnto vs many women that haue been deuout , religious and vertuous : as partly is manifest by that which hath already been said : and also by these places of Scripture , Ruth . 3.11 . 1. Sam. 25.3 . Pro. 14.1 . and 31.10 . Matt. 28.1.8.9.10 . Luk. 8.2.3 . & 23.55.56 . and 14.1 . Act. 16.14.15 . and 1.14 . and 17.4 . and 9.36.39 . 2. Ioh. 1. 2. Tim. 1.5 . And whosoeuer shall obserue it in the reading of the word of God , shal finde that it speaketh of the praise of as many , and moe good women , as men : yea , and we are perswaded that if at this day a due suruey shuld bee taken of all men and women throughout her Maiesties dominions , that there would bee found in number moe women that are faithful , religious and vertuous , then men .

The wife ought to obey her husband in all things , that be honest and agreeable to Gods word . Now , if a wife be desirous to know how farre she is bound to obey her husband , the Apostle resolueth this doubt , where he saith , Eph. 5.22 . saying , Wiues , submit your selues vnto your husbands , as to the Lord . As if hee had said : Wiues cannot bee disobedient to their husbands , but they must resist God also , who is the author of this subiection , and that she must regard her husbands will , as the Lords will : but yet withall , as the Lord commandeth one that which is good and right : so she should obey her husband in good and right , or els she doth not obey him as the Lord , but as the tempter . The first subiection of the woman began at sinne : for when God cursed her for seducing her husband , when the Serpent had deceiued her , he said : He shall haue authoritie ouer thee . Genes. 3.16 . And therefore as the man named all other creatures , in signe that they should bee subiect to him , as a seruant which commeth when his master calleth him by his name : so he did name the woman also , Hest. 1.20.22 . Numb. 30.7 , 8 , 9. 1. Pet. 3.6 . Iudg. 19.26 . in token that she should bee subiect to him likewise . And therefore Assuerus made a law , that euery man should beare rule in his owne house , and not the woman . Because she sinned first , therefore she is humbled most : and euer since , the daughters of Sarah are bound to call their husbands Lord , as Sarah called her husband : that is , to take them for heads and gouernours .

Amongst the particular duties that a Christian wife ought to performe in her familie , It is a speciall dutie of a mother , to giue her children sucke her selfe . this is one : namely , that it belongeth to her to nurse her owne children , which to omit , and to put them forth to nursing , is both against the law of nature , and also against the will of God : besides , it is hurtfull both for the childes bodie , and also for his wit : and lastly , it is hurtfull to the mother her selfe , and it is an occasion that she falleth into much sicknesse thereby .

1. First , Nature giueth milke to the woman for none other end , but that she should bestow it vpon her childe . We see by experience , that euery beast , and euery fowle , is nourished and bred of the same that did beare it : onely some women loue to be mothers , but not nurses . And as euery tree doth cherish and nourish that which it bringeth forth : euen so also it becommeth natural mothers to nourish their children with their owne milke . 1. Tim. 5.10 .

2. Secondly , the example of the Scriptures are many that proue this . As Sarah , who nursed Isaack , Genes. 22.7 . though shee were a Princesse , and therefore able enough to haue had others to haue taken that paines : as also hauing bin a beautifull woman , euen in olde age being of great yeares , yet she her selfe nurseth and giueth suck to her sonne . 1. Sam. 1.23 . Also Anna , whom the holy Ghost hath lest it recorded , as a commendation vnto her , for that she nursed her owne sonne Samuel . So when God chose a nurse for Moses , he led the Hand-maide of Pharaohs daughter to his mother ; Exod. 2.8 . Iudg. 13.24 . Cant. 8.1 . Psalm. 22.9 . Matth. 2.14 . Luke . 2.7.12 . as though God would haue none to nurse him but his mother . Likewise , after when the Sonne of God was borne , his father thought none fit to be his nurse , but the virgin his mother . It is a commendation of a good woman , and set downe in the first place , 1. Tim. 5.10 . as a principall good worke in a widow that is well reported of , if she haue nursed her children . And therefore such as refuse thus to doe , may well and fitly be called nice and vnnaturall mothers : yea , in so doing they make themselues but halfe-mothers , and so breake the holy bond of nature , in locking vp her breast from her child , and deliuering it forth like the Cuckoo , to bee hatched in the Sparrowes nest .

3. Again , the childrens bodies be commonly so affected , as the milk is which they receiue . Now , if the Nurse bee of an euill complexion , and as she is affected in her bodie , or in her minde , or haue some hidden disease , the childe sucking of her breast , must needs take part with her . And if that bee true which the learned doe say , that the temperature of the minde followes the constitution of the bodie , needes must it be , that if the nurse be of a naughty nature , the child must take thereafter . Yet if it bee that the nurse bee of a good complexion , of an honest behauiour : ( whereas contrariwise , Maidens that haue made a scape , are commonly called to be Nurses ) yet can it not bee , but that the mothers milke should bee much more naturall for the childe , then the milke of a stranger . As by experience , let a man bee long accustomed to one kinde of drinke , if the same man chaunge his ayre , and his drinke , he is like to mislike it . As the egges of a Henne are altered vnder a Hawke : neuerthelesse , such women , as be oppressed with infirmities , diseases , want of milke , or other iust and lawfull causes , are to be dispensed withall , but , whose breasts haue this perpetuall drought ? Forsooth , it is like the gowte , no beggers may haue it , but Citizens or Gentlewomen . In the 9. of Hosea , verse 14. drie breasts are named for a curse . What a lamentable hap haue Gentlewomen , to light vpon this curse , more then other ? sure , if their breasts be drie , ( as they say ) they should fast and pray togither , that this curse might bee remoued from them .

4. And lastly , that it is hurtfull to the mothers themselues , both Phisitions can tell , and some women full oft haue felt , how they haue beene troubled with sore breasts , besides other diseases , that happen to them , through plentie of milke .

The wife is further to remember , that God hath giuen her two breasts , not that she should employ and vse them for a shew , or of ostentation , but in the seruice of God , and to bee a helpe to her husband , in suckling the child common to them both . Experience teacheth , that God conuerteth her blood into the milke , wherwith the child is nursed in the mothers wombe . He bringeth it into the breasts , furnished with nipples , conuenient to minister the warme milke vnto the childe , whom he indueth with industrie , to drawe out the milke for his owne sustenance . The woman therefore , that can suckle her child , and doth it not , but refuseth this office and dutie of a mother , declareth her selfe to be very vnthankefull to God , and ( as it were ) forsaketh and contemneth the fruit of her wombe . And therefore the bruit beasts lying vpon the ground , & granting not one nipple or two , but sixe or seuen to their yong ones , shall rise in iudgement against these daintie halfe-mothers , who for feare of wrinckling of their faces , or to auoid some small labour , doe refuse this so necessary a dutie of a mother due to her children . The properties due to a married wife , are , that shee haue grauitie when shee walketh abroad : wisedome , to gouerne her house : patience , to suffer her husband : loue , to breed and bring vp her children : courteous towards her neighbours : diligence , to lay vp , and to saue such goods as are within her charge : a friend of honest company , and a greater enemie of wanton and light toyes . 1. So then , the principall dutie of the wife , is , first to bee subiect to her husband , Ephes. 5.22 . Col. 3.18 . 1. Pet. 3.1 . 2. To be chaste and shamefast , modest and silent , godly and discreet . 3. To keepe herselfe at home , for the good gouernement of her familie , and not to stray abroad without iust cause .

Srepfathers & Stepmothers their duties . Here it is not to be pretermitted , but that we must say somwhat touching men and women that bee twise married , and so become Step-fathers , The Husband and Wife , must so praise his first Wife , and she her first Husband , so as it be not done to the offence or reproach of either to the other . Iealousie , which is the suspecting of adultrie in the married parties , ought wiselie & carefully to be suppressed on both parties , without apparant matter . and Step-mothers . Such husbands and wiues as marrie againe , after the death of their first wiues , or first husbands , are carefully to remember that they do not displease their wiues , or their husbands , which they now haue , by ouermuch rehearsing of their first wife , or first husband . For the course & condition of the world is such , that husbands and wiues doe account and recouer things past , better then things that be present . And the reason is , because no commoditie or felicitie is so great , but it hath some griefe and displeasure , and also some bitternesse mingled with it : which so long as it is present grieueth vs sore , but when it is one gone , it leaueth no great feeling of it selfe behinde it : and for that cause wee seeme to bee lesse troubled with sorrowes and discommodities past , then with those that are present . Also age stealeth and commeth on apace , which causeth both men and women to be the lesse able to sustaine and indure troubles and griefes now , then before . Therefore such men and women as bee twise married , and be wise and religious , ought not to esteeme their wife , or husband which is dead , better then her or him which they enioy now aliue : remembring the common prouerbe , That we must liue by the quick , and not by the dead : and that wee must make much of that we now haue . The very name of Stepfather and Stepmother , teacheth them their dutie . Let the name of Step-father and Step-mother , admonish and put them in minde of their dutie towards the children of the one and the others for Step-father and Step-mother , doth signifie a sted-father and a sted-mother : that is , one father , or one mother dieth , and another succeedeth and commeth in their stead and roome . Therfore to the end that both their loues may be setled towards the children of the one and the other , they must remember that they are stead-father and stead-mother : that is , in stead of their owne father and mother : and therefore they ought to loue them , to tender them , and to cherish them , as their owne father or mother did . They must not look vpon them like Rehoboam , who told his people , 1. King . 12.13 . to 21. that he would bee worse vnto them then his predecessor : for then the children will dislike of you , and turne from you , as his subiects did from him : but ye must come to them , as Dauid came to the people after Sauls death , who sayd : 2. Sam. 2.7 . Though your master Saul bee dead , yet I will raigne ouer you : so ye must say to them , though your father be dead , or though your mother be dead , yet I will be a father , or I will be a mother vnto you : so the children wil loue you , as much as their dead father , or dead mother did . For that man and that woman that are led with discretion , reason , and consideration , will reckon himselfe and his wife all one : and likewise , she will account herselfe and her husband as one . And therefore they ought to account both the children of the one , and of the other , as common to them both : for if friendship make all things common among friends , insomuch , that many haue loued & fauoured their friends children , as their owne ; how much more effectually and perfectly ought mariage to cause the same , which is the highest degree , not only of friendships , but also of al blood and kindred . But Step-mothers doe more often offend , and faile in this dutie , then men , by reason that their affections bee stronger then mens , and many times ouer rule them : and therefore they are earnestly to bee admonished and warned , that they shew themselues to those motherles children , no step-mothers friendship , but a right motherly kindnes . Let the step-mother aduisedly consider , that God hath ordained and appointed her ( in stead of their owne mother ) to bee to them a right true mother , and not onely to regard them as children , but as orphane children , and requireth her to loue them , and to do them good , as to her owne . What a griefe would it be to her hart , if she should know now that her owne children whom she hath borne in her owne bodie , should ( after her death ) haue a stepmother that would be rigorous , churlish , and vnkinde vnto them ? doubtles those childrens mother , that dead is , had vpon her death-bed no lesse care for her children . Let her therfore alwaies haue in minde this saying of our Sauiour Christ : As you measure vnto other , Matth. 7.2 . so it shall be measured to you againe : That is , as the step-mother doth intreate the children of her predecessor , so another wife may come after her , and intreate her children : for he that tooke away the first mother , and sent her , can take away the second mother , and send a third , which will not bee like a stead-mother to hers , vnlesse she bee like a stead-mother to these . Verely , a good woman will bee vnto her husbands children , that which she may heare them call her so often : that is , Mother . For what christian woman is so farre from all humanitie and naturall affection , that will not be moued and mittigated with this word Mother , of whom soeuer it be spoken ? And chiefly of children which cannot flatter , but speake euen so from their heart , like as they would to their owne mother , of whom they were borne . How sweete is the name of friendship ? how many iniuries , hatreds and displeasures doth it hide and put away ? Then how much more effectuall ought the sweet name of mother to be , which is full of incredible loue ? Therefore euery religious and louing wife will be mollified and moued in her heart and minde , when she shall heare her selfe named mother , by any of her husbands children . Otherwise , she shall shew her selfe to be more vnnaturall and vnkinde , then the wilde sauage beast : for there is no beast so outragious and cruell but if any other yong beast of her owne kinde fawne vpon her , she will by and by shew kindnes and mildnes vnto it . And shall not her husbands children make her kinde and louing vnto them , when they call and speake vnto her , by the louing and sweete name of mother ?

As wiues ought to goe comely , cleanly , and handsomely in their apparrell , so they must in any wise beware of pride , riot , or excesse therein . 3. The third and last point that appertaineth to the dutie of wiues , is , that they doe not weare gorgeous and sumptuous apparell , or broidered haire trimmed with golde : but that after the example of holie women which trusted in God , they bee sober in outward apparell , and ought to bee garnished and decked inwardly with vertues of their minds : as with gentlenes , meeknes , quietnes , and chastitie , which indeed are most precious things in the sight of God . This point is so plainly spoken of by the Apostle to Timothie , chap. 2. vers 9.10 . in which place he so flatly condemneth , both the excesse and pride of apparell , as also the pompe , curiositie and wantonnesse which women vse in trimming their heads , by plating , crisping , broyding , curling , & curiously laying out , that no man can say more against it , in so few words , as hee hath spoken to the vtter dislike therof . For if a man should occupie himselfe , and giue libertie to his penne to write of the horrible abuse and excessiue pride , Pride is hatefull before God and man . Be not therefore proude , for thou art but d●ff and ashes . that many women commit in this behalfe , hee should rather want time to write , then matter to speake . Therefore such women as will not reforme themselues herein , we leaue them to the Lord , who ( no doubt ) will in his appointed time , not onely seuerely punish them , but also their husbands , for suffering this great wickednesse and dissolutenesse in their wiues : as he did the Iewes for the same sinne , as plainly may bee seene in Esay 3.16 . &c. For so it falleth out , according to the common prouerbe , Prou. 16.18 . That pride goeth before , and shame and destruction commeth after . And on the contrarie part , we hope that such women as be true professors of Christ & his religion , will both attire and dresse their heads so decently , and also content themselues with such comely apparel , as best beseemeth their calling and degree ; so as by their good example , Titus 2.3 . they may draw on other women to reforme themselues in this behalfe : & so rather to come short of that , which their abilitie and place would serue to maintaine , then any waies to exceede herein , to the slaunder of their profession . Temperance in apparrell . And let them not so much regarde what thing they would faine haue , but rather what they cannot well bee without : so that whatsoeuer they haue no need of , is too deare of a farthing .

The dutie of Parents towards their children .

This dutie containeth foure poyntes , namely , in teaching or instructing them in religion , in manners good example of life , and skill of an occupation . THis dutie consisteth vppon foure points . First , that fathers and mothers do instruct and bring vp their children euen from the cradle , in the feare and nurture of the Lord .

Secondly , that they bring them vp in shamefastnesse , hatred of vice , and loue of all vertue .

Thirdly , that they be vnto their children , examples of all godlines , and vertuousnes .

Fourthly , that they keep them from idlenes , the mother of all mischiefes , and bring them vp either in learning , or in some good Art , or Occupation , whereby they may get their liuing with honestie and trueth , when they shall come to age and yeares of discretion .

The first point 1. Touching the first point , Parents are to be admonished , that they beare in minde , that the cause why the Lord hath blessed them with children , is : first , that they should be carefull to see that their children be so vertuously brought vp , that they may become citizens of the church of God : so that whensoeuer they themselues shall dye in the Lord , they may leaue their children true worshippers of God in their place : but alas , there bee few that haue any great care of this dutie .

It is to bee remembred , The children of Christians ought not to be called by any popish name . Dan. 1.7 . that it is the fathers dutie , with all conuenient speede to present the childe to baptisme , and there to giue the name vnto his child : as may appeare by the example of Iacob and Zacharias , Genes. 35.18 . & 4.25.26 . Luk. 1.63 . Genes. 16.15 . & 21.3 . And it is a thing worthie to bee wished , that all parents , when , and at such time as God blesseth them , hauing any children borne , that then they would giue them such names , as are named and commended vnto vs in the holie Scriptures , to the end that when they come to yeares of discretion , they by hearing those names , may be excited and moued to follow the vertuous life and christian conuersation of those men and women , whose names they beare , which the holie Ghost hath commended them for : and contrariwise to eschue and auoide those faults and vices , which are discommended in them . We are neither better nor worse in respect of our names . Iosua 10.3 . The name profiteth none in whom vertue is not commended . And yet wee haue to remember , that as those children which are named and called by , and after any of the names of Patriarkes , Prophets , Apostles , or by the name of any other Saint , man or woman , are not any thing the better , because they haue such godly & christian names , vnlesse that they doe imitate and follow them in faith , vertue , and godly behauiour : so on the other side , they that bee not called by such christian names , as are mentioned in the sacred Scripture , are not in respect of their names any thing the worse , hauing an assured faith in the merits of Christ his death passion and bloudshedding , and leading their liues agreeable to the same . For as neither the yearely reuenues , nor the glorious titles and names of ancestors , and to descend of noble parentage , maketh men noble and renowned in deed , vnles they themselues be godly , honest , and wise : so neither the godly names , no nor yet the faith and vertue of the fathers , auaileth the wicked and vngodlie children any thing at all , vnlesse they repent and become faithfull , and godly , as they were . Let vs here consider , that so often as in the race of our life wee doe heare or doe speake of our name , it doth put vs in remembrance : first , of Gods mercie shewed vnto vs in our baptisme : secondly , of our promise to God againe . And as in times amongst our ancestors , Luk. 1.59 . and 2.21 ▪ Proper names are also giuen vnto vs , for this vse and end , that is , to distinguish betwixt man and man . Infants had their names giuen them when they were circumcised , as appeareth in Luke no doubt to this end that the circumcised should be admonished by the calling by their names , at what time and place they had their names giuen them , and should thinke that they are written in the number of the children of God , and ioyned in league with him , and made partakers of the couenant : so likewise after the same maner , must we that haue had our names giuen vs in baptisme , remember & beare in mind , that we are by grace adopted to be the sons of God , and receiued into his fauour , and therfore that we are Gods own , and as it were his goods and riches , as who beare his name as proper vnto him .

2. Secondly , they must assure themselues , that all their labour is lost which they bestow vpon their children , vnlesse they bring them vp in the feare of God , and oftentimes call vpon Gods helpe by earnest prayer , that he in mercie would vouchsafe to preserue them from the manifold snares , subtilties , and temptations of Sathan , which their tender age is subiect vnto . We may heare many parents complaine of the disobedience of their children : but they do not marke & consider that they are iustly punished by God , for that they thinke by their owne industrie and wit , to make them good and vertuous , without Gods blessing , which they seldome or neuer call for in good earnest .

3. Thirdly , let them consider how noble a thing a child is , whom God himselfe hath shaped and formed in his mothers wombe , nourished , brought foorth into the light , and indued with bodie and soule , to the end he should ( as it were in a table ) represent God his first paterne . Instructing , correcting , and praying , make good children , and happie Parents .

4. Fourthly , let them know that these things are to be dealt withall in order . Vnto the bodie , nourishment , bringing vp , apparell , and sometime correction , that they may keepe their children in awe . 1. King . 2.2 , 3. Genes. 34.30 . Iohn 1.5 . Vnto the soule they owe catechising , instruction and doctrine : and that of two sorts , namely , of godlinesse , and of ciuilitie . By the one , they shall keepe a good conscience before God . By the other , they shall obtaine a good report among men . For these are the two principall points which parents ought to bee most carefull to plant in this life in their children : both which the Apostle comprehendeth in one verse , where he saith , Ephes. 6.1 . Ye , fathers prouoke not your children to wrath , but bring them vp in instruction , and information of the Lord . And therefore all parents are diligently to instruct and teach their children the first principles of Christ his religion , so soone as by age they are able to perceiue and vnderstand the same , that they may ( as it were ) suck in godlinesse together with their mothers milke , and straight waies after their cradle , may bee nourished with the tender foode of vertue towards that blessed life . To haue godly children ( no doubt ) is the greatest treasure that may be . For in the children doe the parents liue ( in a maner ) euen after death . And if they be wel instructed , catechised , and vertuously brought vp , God is honoured by them , the common wealth is aduanced : yea , their parents , and all other fare the better for them . They are their parents comfort , next vnto God , their ioy , staffe , and vpholding of their age : and therefore parents ought to begin betimes to plant vertue in their childrens breasts : for late sowing bringeth a late or neuer an apt Haruest . Young branches will bow as a man will haue them , but olde trees will sooner breake then bow . And therefore as arrowes are an excellent weapon of defence , to a strong and a mightie man that can shoote them with courage : euen so children godly brought vp , are a speciall protection and defence to their parents . And as the strong mans quiuer , the better it is furnished with chosen shafts , the better defence he hath : so likewise the more godly children that parents haue , the greater is their ioy and happinesse . Yea and further , as arrowes are at the commandement of the owner to be vsed : euen so children wel taught , are at the commandement of godly parents .

5. Lastly , let parents remember how many sinnes they commit and heape one vpon another , which doe not their dutie in bringing vp their children , as they ought to doe . First , they transgresse the law of nature , which telleth all men , that their dutie is to bring vp their children godlily and honestly . Secondly , Deut. 6.7 , 8. & 4.9 . & 11.19 . Psalm. 71.5 , 6 , 7 , 8. Iosu. 4.6 . they sinne against God : for they despise the commaundement and authoritie of God : for hee commandeth , that children should bee brought vp religiously and honestly : but hee is a despiser of God that refuseth to doe as he is commaunded . Thirdly , he offendeth against his own credit & estimation . Exod. 12.26.27 . Luke 11 12. For Gods wil is , that parents should ( after a sort ) be in his stead , so farre forth as pertaineth to outward discipline . But such make small account of this dignity , who neglect their dutie in this behalfe . Parents are further to vnderstand , that it is their dutie to haue diligent care to see their children taught to pray to God , and to rehearse the Apostles Creed , and the ten commandements . For as by this exercise their hearts and mindes shall the rather bee inclined to godlinesse and reuerence toward God ; so as they increase in age , they shall euery day better then other comprehend that which they learne , to their owne comfort , and instruction to saluation . Also , as the tongue is called the glorie of man , because that besides al other reasons , by his speech hee is discerned from the brute beasts : so it is meete , that so soone as the childe can begin to speake , his tongue should bee employed to glorifie God , by calling vpon him , and by learning some short Catechisme , containing the principles and grounds of Christian religion : as also in repeating the will of God in such sort , as he wil that we should serue and honour him .

If parents doe note or perceiue any vice in their little ones , as swearing , lying , choller , enuie filching , couetousnesse , contempt of parents , readinesse to strife , and other like corruptions : it is their duty , diligently and in time to reproue and correct them : as men vse to pluck vp weedes while they bee yet young , least growing vp among the good seedes , they should hinder their growth , and choke them vp . By experience we can see , that mothers in swadling their little ones , doe lay their limmes right , each in his place : likewise , if a childe bee giuen to bee left handed , they chide him : yea , sometimes they binde it vp , or otherwise restraine the vse of it , that hee may bee accustomed to vse his right hand . Also , if the childe haue some string vnder his tongue , they cut it , least it should hinder his speech : much more then ought they to beware , that through their negligence the vices of the soules doe not increase : for it is the dutie of parents , euen in the infancie , to begin to shape and frame the soule vnto vertue .

It is also the dutie of parents to prouide that their children may learne , at the least to write and reade : for it may bee vnto them a great helpe in the course of this life , and a treasure of much greater account then money . And therefore the negligence of many is sharply to be reproued . Besides that , the performance of the duties herein , doth greatly binde their children vnto them . Neuerthelesse , the principall ende thereof should not haue respect to such commoditie , as the children may reape thereby towards the vse of this present life : but rather that they may reade the word of God to their comfort and instruction to saluation . As also it were their parts to vse them daily to reade some chapters of the holie Scriptures , thereby to incline and winne their affections to the word of God , to inure and acquaint them in the phrase of the holie Ghost , by little and little to learne the heauenly doctrine , to note the examples of Gods vengeance powred vpon the wicked and disobedient : and of his blessings vnto those that walke in his feare . Therefore if parents do look that their children should obey them , then let them ioyne & accustome them to Gods word , which will redownd much to their parents profit . If they cause their children to heare & reade the holie Scriptures , therein they may learne , Honour thy father and thy mother : But if parents doe otherwise , then they traine them vp in the scriptures of diuels , whereout their children will learne most wicked things : but it is not so when they are instructed in the holie Scriptures . Parents therefore are diligently to apply themselues to this which God commandeth , and so often and earnestly commendeth vnto them : namely , to instruct their children in the knowledge and feare of GOD , and in the faith of Iesus Christ : Deut. 6.6.7 . and 32.46 . Ephes. 6.4 . So also to teach them those things which they are to vse in their age . It is then great follie to linger children in the learning of vaine , trifling , and vnprofitable things , which as they grow in yeares , they will contemne and forget . Parents can be carefull enough to bring vp their children in some course , trade , or other estate , wherein to get their liuings when they come to be men : and verely such fathers as do neglect that , are vnworthie to haue children . But as the soule is more precious then the bodie ; so is it the dutie of parents , in youth to traine vp their children in the practise of those things , wherewith in age , euen in this life , they may glorifie God , and be heires of the Lord . If parents want knowledge , or bee vnwilling to take leisure to teach them ; yet let them doe as much for their childrens soules , and the life to come , as for their bodies , and this present life . Parents that either cannot write and reade , or will not , or haue not time to teach their children , will yet send them to schoole : and such as would haue them learne some Art or Occupation , or traffique , if themselues professe not the same , wherein they like to employ their children , they will yet put them to dwell with those that doe professe the same , to the ende they may learne . How therefore can parents excuse themselues , when their children remaine vntaught in those things that concerne the glorie of GOD , and life euerlasting ? But howsoeuer it bee , if they be neither able of themselues , nor doe prouide to haue them taught by others , they shall bee inexcusable in the sight of God : and the ignorance of the children , ingendring contempt of God , loue of the world , and neglect of heauenly felicitie , will crie out for euerlasting vengeance against their parents : so that if they account not their children as beasts without soule , or if they loue them with the due loue belonging to parents let them declare their loue especially to the soule : the christian instruction whereof surmounteth all worldly treasure .

Some say , it would bee a great comfort for them in heauen to know their neere kindred , and consequently their children : and this commeth of naturall affection . But might it not bee a greater discomfort for them , euen in their life time to see them goe to hell for want of instruction ? Some charge their children to be dull witted , and hard to be bowed , or brought to any goodnesse or vertue . Albeit naturall inclination bee a great helpe or profiting , yet exercise and custome to do well , is a mightie meanes to bend and shape them that way : yea , euen such that by experience we finde this olde prouerbe true : Vse ouer commeth nature . As the wheele-wright doth by strength bow his timber , & letting it lie long in that bent , it abideth crooked . Barren ground well tilled , soyled and sowen with good seed , groweth fruitfull , and yeeldeth good increase . Iron weareth with handling : The water by continuall dropping weareth the stone : Wilde beasts may be tamed : and wilde colts by custome be brought to the saddle , and are content to be led by the bridle euen so the dullest capacities may by instruction and custome be fashioned to vertue . As contrariwise , the wit most inclined by nature to vertue , may by bad instruction and the conuersation of the wicked , be peruerted and grow vicious .

Parents therefore are herein to respect two points : first , to begin to frame and bend their children in their tender youth to vertue , remembring , that a seale entereth deepest into softest waxe . They must be carefull , that they do not speake or tell any foolish tales , bawdie rimes , or vngodly speeches before their children : least they infect their tender wits with follie and astonishment . Experience sheweth , that children will sooner learne any language by conuersation , then elder folks . Also , that the yonger the twig is , the sooner it is bent or made straight . Secondly , it is the parents dutie , to restraine their children from haunting and conuersing , with such as be vicious , peruerse , and wicked . And vndoubtedly we see , that they do soone learne villanous & vnseemely speeches , and malicious lewd actions , with their corruptions , and as the old prouerbe saith : Halting with the lame , they shall learne to halt . A child that naturally speaketh wel , by conuersing with such as corrupt their speech , shall degenerate and speake as badly . Tie a yong twig that is crooked , with a straight one , that is stronger then it , and in growing it will become straight , and so continue when it is vndone . And contrariwise , a straight one tyed to that which is crooked , and stronger then it selfe , will grow and continue crooked .

Moreouer , parents when they meane to put forth their children to any trade or occupation , eyther to learning , they then ought carefully to see and enquire , whether such as they thinke to place them withall , bee r●ligious and vertuous , and endued with the feare of God .

Many men in the admittance of a seruant , the feare of some temporall , or carnall inconuenience , causeth them to enquire of his , or her trueth , honestie , or other qualities . Therefore , if parents shall commit their child to the ordering and instruction of a master , before they make inquirie of his honestie & christian conuersation , they plainely shew , that they haue lesse care of the corrupting or infecting of their child with vice , then of some smal inconuenience that might happen by an vnhonest , and vnthriftie seruant . When they buy an earthen pot , they sound vpon it , to see whether it be broken , least they should be deceiued in a small piece of money : yet doe they not sound , whether the master , to whom they commit their child , bee vicious , or vertuous : albeit by putting and placing him with one that is vicious and irreligious , they put him in danger of losse , both of body and soule .

Some doe respect their friendship with some masters , rather then their vertue , and so doe commit to them their children , least they should be angrie for putting them to another .

These men doe resemble and bee like him , who being dangerously sicke , vseth the aduise of an ignorant Physition : that is , his kinsman or familiar friend , for feare he should take offence , if he should call another , albeit without comparison , more learned and skilfull .

If thou shouldest haue any waightie matter in law , wouldest thou rather commit thy cause to an ignorant & negligent atturney , because he is thy friend , then to him that were both diligent and learned ? Making a Voyage through some dangerous Sea , wouldest thou in a tempest , commit thy Ship to a young Pilot , vnskilfull , or drunke , because hee is thy Friend ? What a foole art thou , that wilt not take the like care of the profite , honour , safetie , and saluation of thy child ?

Others commit their children , either to him , that is best cheape , or by whom they may grow into greatest aduauncement in the world , but neuer respect the hazard of their child , so they may eyther spare , or get worldly goods .

Let them also bee carefull to restraine their children from vice , and to inure & accustome them to vertue . As indeed the fathers that instruct , or cause their children to be instructed , doe farre excell such , as onely doe beget them : for of these they receiue life onely : of the other good and vertuous life . Yet parents ought not so much to relie and rest vpon the diligence of their childrens masters , as neuer to care to vnderstand , how they profite and goe forward in learning and vertue : for the regard of such diligence , would make the masters more carefully to discharge their duties . And thereof came the Prouerbe : The masters eye fatteth the horse : and this , The masters eye is the fruitfulnesse of the garden .

Vpon these sinnes ensue many punishments , both ghostly and bodily , as well in the parents , as in the children : yea , and in all the posteritie .

The holy Scripture giueth great commendarion to sundrie men & women , for their godly education , and vertuous bringing vp of their children : as to Abraham , for he commanded his sonnes and his household , to keepe the way of the Lord . So Dauid counselled his sonne Salomon to serue God , Gen. 18.19 . 1. Chro. 28.9 . Act. 10.2 . 2. Tim. 1 5. Parents must performe their dutie to their children moderately with great grauitie and authority . Gen. 22.7.8 . Pro. 4.3.4 , 5 , 6 Pro. 3.1.2 . &c. That is thought to be well done , which is done by example . 2. Sam. 13.28.29 . Ezech. 16.44 . Esay . 24.2 . Fruites are wont to take their shape and nature of the tree . with a perfect heart , and a willing mind . It is said also of Cornelius , that he feared God , and all his household . Likewise of Eunica the mother of Timothie , that shee nourished vp her sonne in the words of faith , and good doctrine . For where a vertuous and godly childhood goeth before , there a godly and vertuous age followeth after . Contrariwise , when the parents are not carefull to teach their children to know God , & to know themselues : when they do not breed them vp in vertue , nor reproue them when they doe amisse , they then become corrupt in their vnderstanding , & abominable in their doings : ignorant , and voyd of all knowledge and grace , and of reuerence or feeling of nature .

If Parents be desirous to haue their children vertuous , and honest indeed ( as in conscience they ought ) then they must bee diligent and carefull to practise godlinesse & honestie themselues . For we see by experience , according to the common Prouerbe . As the old cocke croweth , the young learneth : such a father , such a sonne : and such a mother , such a daughter . For like as when the head is well and sound , and also the stomacke pure from hurtfull humours , the bodie is commonly well affected : euen so , where the head or chiefe of any familie or household , is religious and sound in the faith , and feareth God , it commonly goeth well with all the household .

What shall it auaile , for parents to teach their children honestie & modestie , when they themselues in their workes and behauiour , do inuite them to wantonnesse , and lewdnesse ? Verball instruction , without example of good deeds , is a dead doctrine : and contrariwise , good examples are the life of instruction , to make it profitable and effectuall . If the example of parents be contrary to their instructions : If ( we say ) they teach their children sobrietie , modestie , and chastitie , & yet themselues will follow drunkennesse , foule & lasciuious speeches , gestures , and actions : it is as if with their tongues they should say : be vertuous , and by the hands leade them with them to all vice and corruption . So that wicked parents are wicked counsellers to their children . If we would take him to bee a Monster in nature , and vnworthie to liue in a Common-wealth , that should counsell his childe to drunkennesse and fornication : what shall wee thinke of those , who committing such iniquitie , do by their example much more mightily put forward their children to such abomination , then by word they are able ? What account can those parents giue vnto GOD , who by their euill example , haue drawne into Hell their children , whom he deliuered to their charge to be guided into heauen ? Albeit such parents pitie not themselues , yet at last let them take pitie of their children , and not carrie them with them into euerlasting destruction . Such parents then deserue grieuously to be reproued , as shall vse any lewd speeches , or shamelesse behauiour in briefe , any worldly or carnal actions , in the presence of their children , to whom their example may be as a dispensation , to giue themselues to the like . As also , how can they forbid that in their children , which they themselues do commit ? How can they correct them for the faults , which they themselues vse ? Albeit children , in respect and reuerence to their parents , dare not reply and say , that themselues doe these things , for the which they reproue them : yet will the neighbours or others , obiect it to their shame . Besides , their authoritie shal be so much the lesse , in that they declare in their works and actions , that they allow that which they forbid in words . If parents therefore desire that their instruction may be effectuall , and yeeld fruit , let them declare the same in holy life & vertuous conuersation : let them so order and gouerne themselues , that their children seeing the same , as it were in a glasse , may bee restrained from dishonest speech & wicked deeds .

Let them do as guides , that shew the right way ouer foordes and riuers , by going before those whom they leade : that their children following the steps and examples of their parents , may conforme themselues to their vertues , and so with them , and by them , be led to saluation , and life euerlasting .

For this cause Moses gaue commandement vnto the Iewes , Deut. 6.5.6.7 . & 31.13 . that the law might be kept in their families , that they might prosper in al that they went about . 2. Sam. 6.11 . When Obed-edom had receiued the Arke of God into his house , which signified true religion , 1. King . 17.10 . &c. 2. King . 4.1 . &c the Lord blessed him and all his household . When the widdow of Zarepthah in the dayes of Eliah , and the other widdow of Israel , in the dayes of Elisha , had receiued the Prophets of God into their houses : how mightily & mercifully the Lord prouided for them , who is ignorant ? When our Sauiour Christ had restored the Rulers sonne to his health , the Ruler beleeued and all his familie . Iohn 4.53 . Luke 19.9 . After Zacheus had receiued Christ into his house , and was conuerted : saluation came to the same household . Act. 10.44 . To be short , when Cornelius the Centurion embraced the Gospell , his familie also beleeued and were baptized , and the holy Ghost fell vpon them all , which heard the preaching . And how well that house was ordered , 2. Tim. 1.5 . & 3.15 . where Timothie was brought vp , his knowledge in the Scriptures from a child can witnesse .

And this is also a point worthie to be remembred , that whereas the Lord by his Prophet Ezechiel , Eze. 10.20.21 . calleth the children of the Israelites , which they had begotten , His children , because they were partakers of the promises , & signed with the seale of his couenant . And the Prophet calleth them , Psal. 127.3 . The inheritance of the Lord .

Such parents therefore , as bee Christians , must know , that their children are also the children of God , and partakers of those blessings that are promised to them in Christ Iesus their Sauiour : and therefore that they shall do great iniurie to God himselfe , whose children they are , if they shall not see them carefully brought vp in his feare .

And much more , if they , as before time , See more of this point in the Treatise of the vse and necessitie of catechising . many haue done , bequeath them , and in a maner consecrate and sacrifice them to the seruice of men , by thrusting them into Abbeyes , Munckeries , Frieries , Nunneries , and Seminaries , there to bee brought vp , and remaine in perpetuall bondage of ignorance and errour , in superstition and idolatrie .

The second poynt is , The second point . that fathers and mothers , doe nourish and traine vp their children in shamefastnesse , hatred of vice , and loue of all vertue .

They bee charged by the fift commandement , to feed , to nourish , Esay . 28.10 . Deut. 6.20 . Exod. 12 26. and 13.14 . The proper dutie of good parents to their children is to nourish them soberly , to keepe them vnder obedience , and to teach them good manners and to bring vp their children , to teach them the principles & seeds of christian religion : to see they learne the Catechisme , to teach them to praise God before and after meales , as also to teach them by little and little , & by often repetitions , to vnderstand wherefore the Sacraments were instituted : to teach them manners , how to behaue themselues decently in their going , in their speaking , and gesture of their bodies : how to order them selues reuerently in the Church : how abroad in all places , and towards all men , in all honest companies : and so to begin some conscience in them . For it were better for children to bee vnborne , then vntaught .

Now contrary to this , is , when parents suffer their children to haue their will from the beginning : when they discourage and daunt them by seueritie , and by being too hastie with them : when they let the common ignorance of the word to be rooted in them , and haue no care to frame them to learne truth and godlinesse , and so to prepare them to be apt to receiue profit from the publike Ministrie .

Pro. 23.13 . & 19.18 . & 29.15.17 . & 22.6.15 . & 13.24 . It is therefore meet that all fathers and mothers , if they wil haue ioy of their children , that then they correct them when they doe amisse , and keepe them in shamefastnesse , hatred of vice , and loue of all vertue , according as the holy Ghost counselleth by the mouth of the wise man in sundry places .

For as the common Prouerbe is : Byrch breaketh no bones : neither moderate correction bringeth danger of death : but oftentimes it bridleth & keepeth backe the child , that otherwise would runne headlong into hell , and so is a meane to saue his soule .

For the fountaine of all vertue , and chiefe of all mans felicitie , is good instruction , and right bringing vp . And contrariwise , children euill brought vp , bring shame & great heart breake to their parents . As old Elie was corrected himselfe , for not correcting his sonnes , 1. Sam. 2.12 . & 3 , 12.13.14 . & 4.11 . 1. King . 1.5.6 . 2. King . 2.23.24 . which is a notable example , necessarie for all parents to imprint in their hearts , that they may see their children well taught and corrected , least they procure the wrath of God to fall vpon them , as did vpon this Elie , who honoured his children aboue the Lord , and therefore the Lord cut him and them off . For the comfort hee had of his sonnes , was this , the Arke ( the witnesse of the Lords presence ) was lost : thirtie thousand of the people slaine , his two sonnes Hophni and Phinehas killed : who when newes thereof came to him , for sorrow fell backeward , and brake his necke : vpon this his daughter in law , fell in trauell , and in trauell died : the remnant of his house was glad to craue & beg for a small peece of siluer , and a morsell of bread .

Also the two and fortie children , 2. King . 2.23.24 . that mocked Elisha the Lords Prophet , saying : Come vp thou bald head , were rent in peeces with Bears . Thus we see that children vntaught , and vnchastised , bring shame and confusion to their parents .

Let them therfore alway remember this , How children should be brought vp . that they prouide and bestow diligent labour , that their children be forthwith instructed in vertue and godlinesse , Hold thy children in awe , and they shall haue thee in reuerence . whilst their wits are yet voyd from cares & vices : and whilst their age is tender and tractable , and their minds flexible , and readie to euery thing , who then will keepe fast good lessons and vertuous precepts , if they be taught them . For this is certaine , that we remember nothing so well when we bee olde , as those things we learne in yong yeares .

It shall be conuenient and profitable therefore to handle the waxe straightway while it is moyst : to season those earthen vessels with very good liquor whilst they are new : to dye and litte the wooll while it is faire and white , and not defiled with any spots . The Emmets , or Pismires are not taught to gather into their holes or hillockes , Pro. 30.25 . & 6.6.7 , 8. in summer , whereby they should liue in winter . Bees learne not to make their cels , to gather iuyce , and to make honey : but all these things bee done by instruction of nature . So euery liuing thing , the lesse meete it is to learning , so much the more it hath of natiue prudence . But man neither can eate , nor goe , nor speake , except he bee taught . Then if fertile fields , for want of tillage waxe barren : if trees being neglected , either bring forth no fruite , or else the same vnsauourie , without diligence or grafting and pruning : if dogs be vnmeete to hunt , the horse and oxen vnapt to the plough , except mans diligence be put thereto : how wilde then and vnprofitable creatures would children become , except diligently and in due time they should be fashioned by good bringing vp ? What a shame is this for any man to take great care to haue his dog well taught , his horse well broken , his land well husbanded , his house goodly trimmed , & richly furnished : and yet to haue his childe shamely rude in maners , and altogether voide of al garnishing and instruction of vertue and godlinesse ? What a great follie and madnesse is this , for a father to take great care and thought how to get money and possessions , and to haue no regarde of his childe for whom the same is gotten ? Which is no lesse shame to heare , then if a man taking thought for the shooe , would set nought by the foot : or with great care and studie would prouide , that there should be no fault in the childes garment , not regarding the health of his bodie . This is ( as the common saying is ) To be penny-wise , and pound-foolish : to saue a sticke , and burne a house : to saue a ioynt , and lose the bodie . But oh vaine man , hast thou more care and desire to leaue thy sonne a faire building , and full of lands , then for to instruct him in the way of godlinesse , and so leaue him a vertuous conscience ? Hast thou rather a desire to hoord vp treasure for him , Mat. 6.19 . with rust and moth to be consumed , then for to teach him the knowledge of God , which will not canker , but last for aye ? Most parents ( a pitifull thing to remember ) be louing to the bodies of their children , but their soules they care not for : they desire their welfare in this world , but they passe not what they shall suffer in the world to come . Yea , fathers prouide lands , rents , reuenues , great annuities , fees and offices , for their children here : but alas , few prouide or bee carefull to haue them brought vp in vertue , and the feare of God . For the losse of their liues and bodies , they will sore bewayle and much lament : but the health and saluation of their soules , they make no reckning of : if they see them poore and sicke , they sorrow and sigh : but though they see them sin , and greatly displease God , they are nothing grieued . It behooueth , that parents doe carefully obserue , vnto what vices their children are most inclined , and s● by good meanes to admonish and draw them from the same . As parents be carefull to prouide temporal things for their childrens bodies , which are transitorie : so much more carefull ought they to prouide spirituall things for their soules . And as they be diligent to keepe the bodies of their children from fire and water , when they be young : so much more they ought to take care , that their soules be not poysoned with vices , and false and erronious doctrine , when they come to yeeres of discretion : and this is the most acceptablest seruice that they can doe to God . Psal. 132.1 . Mat. 12.33 . Children are called the fruit of their parents . Therefore , as a good tree is knowne by bringing forth good fruit : so parents should shew their goodnes in the good education of their children , which are their fruit . For like as fruitfull fields for lacke of tillage , waxe barren : or as trees , being neglected , eyther bring forth no fruit , or else the same vnsauorie , without the diligence of grafting and pruning : or as dogs bee vnmeet to hunt : the horse & oxen vnapt to the plough , except mans diligence be put thereto : euen so , how sauage and vnfruitfull creatures would children become , except diligently , and in due time , they should be fashioned , by good and vertuous bringing vp .

To teach a child in the trade of his way , as Salomon commandeth , Pro. 22.6 . which is , not onely to instruct him vnto godlinesse , but also vnto all other humane duties : wherefore this dutie then belongeth vnto parents , and they are bound to doe it . For who should teach and informe the child , but they which haue the gouernment and commanding of him ? But it is well knowne , that parents onely haue the gouernment and commanding of their children , or such as they shall procure for their better education , and therefore this charge and dutie lieth vpon them , & they must looke vnto it . Againe , this is apparant euen by the generall law of nature , which hath taught the very bruit beasts to bring vp their yong . And further , this dutie is yet enforced from the oportunitie of the thing commanded . For euen as a plant will sooner take nourishment , and thriue better in the soyle where it first grewe or sprung vp , then in any other ground , because it liketh his owne soile best : so children will sooner take instruction and good nourture from their parents , whom they best like , and from whom they had their first being , then from any other : and therefore you parents are in fault , if your children bee not well taught . For whatsoeuer good commeth from the parent to the child , is naturall and kindly , no otherwise then the warme milke from the mothers dugge : you shall sooner be heard of your children , then eyther the sage counsell of the ancient , or the forcible and mouing speech of the learned . Lastly , the rule of iustice doth require , that euen as the first parent Adam , Gen. 5.3 . and so all other after him , haue beene a meane of falling to al their posteritie , in the begetting of children in their owne image , which according to the law of creation , should haue beene borne Gods Image : so now in lieu of this , al parents should lend their hands to lift them vp againe , & neuer cease , vntill they see in some measure , the beautie of the first Image , & the vertue of the second Adam . This is confirmed by many testimonies of Scripture , as amongst other , these doe proue . Deut. 4.9 . and 11.18.19 . Ephes. 6.4 . Psal. 78.5 . And because this dutie of parents , is many times committed to Schoolemasters , to Masters of Families , to Dames , to Patrones , and Guardians , and such like : they must therefore vnderstand , whosoeuer they be , that they are bound by the voyce of the almightie , to performe and to do the dutie of parents , to all such as are committed to their charge , as if they were their owne children .

Now , the vices which some parents commit , in not performing these duties before and after named , and ought of them to bee eschued , are these .

1. First , the ignorance of the parents : as if they be so rude , that they bee not able to teach their children , then they greatly offend God in the breach of this so necessary a dutie : and therefore they must indeuour to get so much nourture and knowledge , as that they may be able to instruct others vnder them .

2. The second vice is , the prophanenesse of many parents , who , so they may prouide liuelihood and necessaries for their children , they care for no more .

3. The third vice is committed , of such poore parents , which make no great choise with what Maisters and Dames they place their children , so they may haue meate & drinke ynough , and wages thereto competent , and are neither back-beaten , nor belly beaten , as they say . Alas , such poore children , while they serue for their bellies , they may loose their soules , because they want godly maisters and dames , to giue them wholesome instruction , to holde them in by good example , and to gouerne them continually in the feare of the Lord . Wherefore here let all Parents learne , that it is their dutie to make choise of such maisters and dames for their children , as are godly and religious , wise hearted , such as are both able and wel disposed , to traine vppe youth in all good nourture , and Gods seruice : and not onely this ( for the greatest care of all lieth vpon the parents ) but also they must so often , as conueniently they may , repaire unto them , and see how they profit , and holde them vp by their good counsell , and be carefull to intreate those which haue the gouernment of them , to bee good vnto them , in this chiefe poynt aboue the rest . For ( as Salomon saith : ) Life and death is in the power of the tongue : Pro. 18.21 . so wee may well say , life and death is in the education of our children . If they be well brought vp , it shall be life vnto them : but if it be otherwise , they are trained vp to euerlasting death .

4. The fourth vice is , the fault of many maisters and dames , who make no further reckening of their seruants , then they do of their brute beasts ▪ For so long as their worke and businesse be well done by them , they care for no more , and they will teach them no further , then may serue for their owne turne and benefit : that is , to be a profitable seruant vnto them . Such maisters make their seruants drudges to the world and the diuell : and the life of such youth , dieth while it shooteth vp . All these sin and trespasse against the will and word of God , because they are contrary to good nourture and godly instruction . Parents must bee very carefull , that their children may learn some occupation , or profession of life : and this is either mechanical , which wee call handicraft : or liberall , which is the learning of schooles : and the end of this is , eyther to get their liuing honestly , and in Gods ordinance , or else if they want no maintenance , to apply their profession and trade to the benefit of the Common-wealth . No child of what birth and stocke so euer he bee , ought to want this instruction and bringing vp . If thou say , my childe hath no need of any trade : yet the Common wealth and Gods Church haue need of him , for no man is borne for himselfe , but his friendes will require one part , his kindred another , and his countrie the third . And if handicrafts like thee not , thou hast the liberall Sciences , of which no man euer was yet ashamed , but many haue made them their crowne of glorie . Saul was anoynted King , while he was seeking his fathers Asses : 1. Sam. 9.2 . &c. and 16.11 . Psal. 78.70.71 . 1 King . 19.19 . Amos. 1.1.2 . and Dauid was taken from the sheepefolde , to feede with his wisedome , and gouerne with his prudence that honourable people of the children of Israell . And againe , wee reade that those two famous Prophets , Elisha and Amos , the one was called from the plough , and the other from keeping of beastes : which examples doe plainely teach vs , that the great and reuerent God despiseth no honest trade of life , bee it neuer so meane , but crowneth it with his blessing , to drawe all good mindes to his holy ordinance . But now a daies , such is the pride of our harts ( a thing to bee lamented through all our land ) that many gentlemens children may not be brought vp in any trade . Oh it is too base and beggerly for them : they must liue of their lands , they must maintaine their gentrie : a small learning will serue their turne : but in the meane while , this ordinance of God is neglected , what misery from hence ensueth ? Who are the wasters of patrimonies ? Who are the robbers and rouers in the Common wealth ? Who are the deflowrers of maidens ? Who are the defilers of matrones ? Who are the corrupters of youth ? and to speake in one word , who are the seedes-men of al mischiefe in our countrie , but these children of gentlemen , who haue not been taught & trained vp in learning , or some occupation , while they were young ? For euen as a weed , if it grow in a rancke soyle , wil waxe out of measure noysome : so these children comming of honorable and worshipful parents , brought vp , in ease , and pampered with the delights of gentrie , they waxe immeasurably vicious , and who may keepe them vnder ? neyther lawes , nor Magistrates , nor any other good meane .

First , Good manners in speech Parents must teach their children to vse faire speech , not onely towards themselues , but also towards others , and to call their betters by a reuerent and an honourable name : 1. Sam. 25.24 . Mar. 10.17 . Pro. 16.24 .

Secondly , to speake modestly and humbly of themselues , and this poynt of good manners , they may learne of that wise matrone Abigail , in 1. Sam. 25.41 . where we reade , that when she was sent for of Dauid , to bee his wife , shee first bowed her selfe to the seruants , and then made this lowly answere to him that brought the message : Beholde , let thine Handmaide be seruant to wash the feete of the seruants of my Lord .

Thirdly , to admonish them , louingly to salute their frends and acquaintance , and generally all others , whom they take to bee christians and bretheren : which consisteth in praying wel to others , wishing health and prosperitie vnto them : Luke . 1.28 , 40. 1. King . 1.27 .

Fourthly , to put them in mind , to acknowledge a benefit , where they haue receiued it , with giuing of thankes : Eccles. 29.16 . Genes. 30.37 .

Fiftly , to teach them to confesse an offence where it is committed , with humble crauing of pardon . An example hereof , they may haue in that vertuous and faire spoken matrone Abigail , as they may reade in 1. Sam. 25.23 . &c. Oh that men and children sawe what great daungers they drawe vpon them by the neglect of this dutie , and might preuent it : and also what gratious blessings they might procure both to themselues and others , by meanes of it , as this vertuous Abigail kept Dauid from shedding innocent blood : saued her own life , with the liues of her familie , and in the end was receiued to be a Princes wife , for the wise carriage of her selfe in this matter .

Againe , Parents must teach their children good manners , and ciuill behauiour , to rise vp to their betters , to vncouer the head ? to make obeysance , to bee curteous towardes their equals , to bee gentle and lowlie to their inferiours , and louing and kinde to all : this is no lesse needfull for youth , then their meate and their drinke .

Also to admonish them , to giue their elders and betters leaue to speake before them : Iob. 32.4.5 . That they keepe silence while their betters are in place , vntill they be spoken vnto : and then they must make answere in few words , without vnnecessary circumstances , and directly vnto the matter . And they may not be loude , babling , or hotte in speech , but colde and milde : Pro. 17.27 . Warne them , that they do not interrupt or trouble others while they are in speaking Pro. 29.20 . Wherefore , if children wil keep the bounds of good maners , they must not be streporous or troublesome in talke , but they must obserue and take their due time and course , and if there bee any thing spoken , vnto which they would willingly make aunswere , they must eyther courteously craue leaue of him that speaketh , or else they must carrie it in remembrance , vntill their turne commeth to speake , which is the better of the twaine . And further , they must giue an entercourse of speech vnto others : and so suffer others to speake by them : for there is a time to keepe silence , and so to heare others speaking , for hee that will haue all the talke , passeth the boundes of good manners .

Moreouer , Good manners in gesture Parents ought to teach their children , how to frame their gesture to a reuerent and dutifull behauiour towards others , which consisteth in these poynts .

1. The first is to meete those that are comming towards them . And of this they haue an example in holy Abraham , Genes. 18.2 . where it is said : And hee lifted vp his eyes and looked , and loe , three men stood by him , and when hee sawe them , hee ranne to meete them from the tent doore . Againe , another example they may haue in King Salomon , sitting vppon his regall throne : 1 King . 2.19 . Bathsheba therefore went to King Salomon , to speake vnto him for Adoniiah , and the King rose , to meet her .

2. The second is , to rise vp to elders and betters , when they passe by them . And this is taught Leuit. 19.23 . Thou shalt rise vp before the hoare head , and honour the person of the olde man , and dread thy God , I am the Lord . But heere wee must warne you of a great abuse , which for the most part is committed in all Churches , and which tendeth to the high dishonour of God : which is this , that neyther you your selues , neyther your children , nor seruants , do knowe the time of your duties : but you will then rise vp to men , when both you and they should kneele downe to God : as if one that is more honorable among you , shall come into the church , while you are vpon your knees in prayer vnto God , presently you start vp , and leaue God to reuerence men . Is this religion ? is this deuotion becomming Gods house ? is not this all one , as if a man should say , stay GOD , heere comes in my father , my maister , my worshipfull neighbour , and my good friend , to whom I am much beholden , I must doe my dutie vnto him , I must rise vp till hee bee past , and then I will come to thee againe ? What is this but to preferre men before God ? this doing plainely sheweth , that such are louers of men , more then God : and that such as take this dutie and reuerence vpon them , are robbers of Gods honour , and they shall answere him for it . Is there no time to shewe our dutie towards men , but euen then , when wee are about Gods seruice ? Why , know thou , when man standeth before God , how honourable so euer hee bee , hee is but dung and filth , and not to bee regarded : and let Parents learne this wisedome , that while they are taught their duties towards men , it is not to robbe God of his worship : but there is an appoynted time to euery dutie and purpose : as Ecclesiastes in his third chapter well admonisheth : Eccles. 3.1 . To all things there is an appoynted time , and a time to euery purpose vnder the heauen . It is recorded of Leuie , to his eternall praise : Deut. 33.9 that in Gods cause he said of his father and mother : I see him not , neither kn●w he his bretheren , nor his owne children : euen so beloued , our eyes and our minds , & deuotions , should be so fixed and intent vpon God , when wee are in his seruice , that wee should not see or regard any man in that while . And againe , we reade in the second chapter of the Gospell after S. Iohn , of our Sauiour himselfe , who though he was the most dutifull childe that euer was borne of woman , yet when hee was about his fathers businesse , hee saith vnto his mother : Woman , Ioh. 2.4 . what haue I to do with thee ? which examples will teach vs , that when we are a bout Gods seruice , all other duties must sleepe and be laid apart .

3. The third dutie of good manners , to bee obserued in their gesture , is to stand while their betters are sitting in place : example of this wee haue in holy Abraham , of his entertaining of the two strangers , as it is written Gen. 18.8 . And he tooke butter and milke , and the calfe which hee had prepared , and set before them , and stood by himselfe vnder the tree , and they did eat . Well may Abraham be called the father of the faithfull , for giuing his children so good example .

4. Their fourth dutie is to bend the knee , in token of humilitie and subiection : example of this Mar. 10.17 . 1 , King . 2.19 .

4. The first thing is , that they giue the chiefe place to their betters , and to offer the same to others in curtesie . 1. King . 2.11 . Luke . 14.8.9.10 . Pro. 1● . 33 . and 16.18 .

6. Their last dutie , is , to vncouer their head . And though wee finde no example for this in holy scripture , as beeing not vsed in those former times : yet seeing the thing is ciuill and comely , and one of the speciall curtesies of our daies , we will confirme it also with the authoritie of Gods word : Phil. 4.8 . Whatsoeuer things are honest whatsoeuer things are of good report , those things do . And again , 1 Cor. 14 , 40. Let all things be done decently , and according to order . But this kind of ciuilitie is both decent and according to order , as also honest and of good report : and therefore warranted and commended by Gods word , and so worthy to be followed . Therefore if our children bee not thus trained vp in nurture , while they be yong , when they be olde , they shall be found so head-strong , that they will not be gouerned , but this consequent must needes follow , that all order shall bee taken away , and then confusion must needs ensue . For if nourture be neglected , then our elders and gouernours shall not bee reuerenced : if they be not reuerenced , they will not be regarded : if they be not regarded , they will not be obeyed : and if they be not obeyed , then steps in rebellion , and euery one will do what he listeth .

These vices and great abuses , are to bee reformed , and with speede amended , not onely of many parents and maisters themselues , but also that they labour with all diligence , that they may be redressed and amended in their children and seruants : first , the grosse ignorance in the grounds of christian religion , which yet remaineth in any Parents , Maisters , and their families , who giue themselues to sleepe in the church , to talke one with another , to turne ouer their bookes there , and vsing of their owne priuate deuotions or praiers , in the time of publike preaching and prayer , all which no doubt are greeuous sinnes and transgressions : and besides many absent themselues from holy exercises , and specially vppon the Lords day , then lying in their beds , haunting of Ale-houses and tauernes , riding and going abroad about their worldly affaires , for pleasure and profit , beeing also wearie whilst they be present at prayers and preaching , seldom do they preuent or come before prayers , nay many come in the midst thereof , to the great disturbance of the same , and others that are there : and some againe before the sermons are ended : other some after the prayers made , and before the singing of the Psalmes , and the vsual blessing to be pronounced , depart thence , whereof they as wel as those that tarrie , should bee partakers , posting also out of the church , as it were from a play , or may-game , as though they supposed , that no more reuerence should be shewed there , then in other places or that some part of diuine seruice belonged vnto them , and not vnto other some whereas in very trueth , euery one ought to be alike partakers of the whole . And how should wee looke for any goodnesse from God , where this , that is the seede of all sinne , and the nurse of al abhominations raigneth and swaieth so much ?

Let such as are fathers and mothers , and haue children , know in what sort they must be carefull for them . Their children are a good blessings of God , they be members of the body of Christ , Math. 16.14 . and the sonnes of God . The kingdome of heauen belongeth to them . God hath appoynted his Angels to guide and leade them , and to shield them from euill : and their Angels bee in the presence of God , and do behold the face of their father which is in heauen . They be fresh plants of the church . Who knoweth what necessary instruments they may be in the house of God ? It is not ynough to feed them , to cloath them , & to nourish their bodies with necessarie sustenance . For the heathen doe this , which know not God : and the sauage & brute beasts , and the birds , which haue no vnderstanding : they breed vp their young ones , and are tender and painful to prouide for them . The Asse though she be dul , the Beare and Lyon , though they be wilde and cruell , yet seeke they far and neare , to get wherewith to helpe their young . Therefore , if there be any , or can bee any , which doth forsake and leaue his own , hee is more beastly then the foolish Asse , and more vnnaturall , then most cruell Beares and Lyons , and Tygers .

But in this behalfe , men are for the most part ouer-carefull . For this cause many builde their houses with blood , and seeke possessions by iniquitie : they ioyne house to house , and field to field , and will dwell alone vpon the earth : Esay . 5.8 . they oppresse the poore and needie , and doe wrong to the Widdow and the fatherlesse : they make money their God , and spoyle one another : and all to prouide for the children . This is the couer and cloake for all their mischiefes , they may not leaue their children vnprouided for . Vnhappy are such fathers , which in this sort care for their children , Esay . 33.1 . by the ruine and spoyle of the needie and innocent , and so breake the commandement of God : because their portion shall bee with the wicked , in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone . And vnhappy are their children , because they are partakers of their Fathers wickednesse , and therefore shall also be partakers of punishment with them . Psalm. 37.35.36 . The Prophet Dauid saith : I haue seene the wicked strong , and spreading himselfe like a greene Baytree : Yet hee passed away , and loe , he was gone , and I sought him , but hee could not be found . His roote was deepe , his stocke strong , his braunches broad , hee spread ouer and shadowed the whole countrie : yet he passed away . He departed , his sonnes died , his house soone decayed , and his name was in little time quite forgotten .

Oh , how much better then is it , to furnish the mindes of your children , and to instruct them in godlinesse , to teach them to know God , to leade their life vertuously , and to rebuke them , and chastise them for ill dooing .

Psalm. 111.10 . Pro. 9.10 . The beginning of wisedome , is the feare of God . Let them then learne , what that good and acceptable will of God is . Shewe them the way in which they should walke , that they go neither to the right hand , Psalm. 19.7.8.6 . and .119.6.105 . nor to the left . The word of God is pure , and giueth vnderstanding to the simple : it is a light to their footesteps : it teacheth those that are young to amend their waies . For children by nature are darkenesse , and cannot see except they bee lightned with Gods word . And therefore Salomon saith : Pro. 22.6 . Catechise a childe in his youth , and hee will remember it when he is olde . This is the right blessing , which fathers & mothers giue to their children , when they cause God to blesse them too .

When Christ came into Ierusalem the yong children receiued him . Math. 21.15.16 . They cried Osanna to the sonne of Dauid : Blessed is he that commeth in the name of the Lord . Christ giueth witnesse of them : By the mouth of babes and sucklings , Psal. 82. hast thou set foorth thy praise . The words of the litle and simple children , were able to confound the wisedome of the Pharisees . Thus were they taught from their cradle , so carefull were their godly parents for them .

Contrariwise , they cannot haue any wisedome , that despise the law of the Lorde . They become blinde and wicked , and abominable in all their waies . They haue no sence nor feeling of the will of God . They cannot knowe light from darkenesse , nor God from Belial . 2. King . 23. 2. Sam. 15.1 . &c. Such were the children that derided Elisha , as also Absolon , whose heart Sathan had so possessed with the spirit of pride and ambition , that hee went about to depose his father from his kingdome . 1. King . 1.5 . So also his brother Adoniiah vsurped the kingdome of his father Dauid .

Another care , which a father ought to haue of his children , is tt traine them vp in studie and vertue , and of a godly life . Math. 5.8 . Blessed are the pure in heart , for they shall see God . They which keepe not this way , are the children of wrath . Heerein standeth the whole profession of a christian life . For God hath not called vs to vncleannesse , but vnto holinesse . 1 , Thess. 4.7 . This is the will of God , and this is our promise made vnto him , that wee serue him in holinesse and righteousnesse al the daies of our life , Luk. 1.74.75 . that we increase in vertue , and growe from grace to grace .

A wise and louing father , which sendeth his sonne to a daungerous iourney , either by sea or land : first instructeth him with aduise , and telleth him in what sort he shall auoyde periles . Take heed ( saith he ) that way is daungerous , which thou must passe . The sea is terrible , the waues rise vp as high as heauen , and by and by , thou shalt see a pitte as lowe as hell . The sandes may swallow thee , the rockes may destroy thee . Thou shalt passe by huge mountaines , and through a wildernesse , where theeues wil assault thee . Thy heart wil quake . Thou shalt crie for succour , and finde no man to helpe thee . In these and these places , hath many a good mans childe been cast away . Oh take heed ( my sonne ) thou art the staffe , and the comfort of mine age . If ought come to thee otherwise then well , I shall come end my daies in sorrow .

If a father bee thus carefull that this childe should escape worldly dangers : hee must be carefull of spirituall daungers , in which whosoeuer is lost , is lost for euer . Therefore , thus , or to this effect , will he say to him : Oh my sonne vnderstand what God hath done for thy sake . Take heede to thy selfe . 1 Pet. 5.8 . Iam. 4.7 . Pro. 18.10 . Psalm. ●0 . 15 . The world is all ouer strawde with snares . The diuell raungeth and seeketh whom he may deuoure . Giue no ground to him : but resist him , and hee will flie from thee . Be strong in faith . The name of the Lord is a strong tower of defence . Call vpon him in the day of thy trouble , and he will deliuer thee . He will giue thee of his spirit . Take heede my sonne , and bee not deceiued : let no wilfulnesse cast thee away . If sinners intice thee , be not a companion of them in wickednesse . Pro. 1.10.11 . Rom. 12.2 . 1. Ioh. 2.15 . Fashion not thy selfe to the likenesse of this world : for the world passeth away , and the lust thereof . He that loueth this world , the loue of God is not in him . Be not like vnto them that perish . Psalm. 51.5 . Ephe. 2.3 . Col. 1.12 , 13. Thou wast conceiued and borne in sinne . Thou art by nature the child of wrath : but God made thee meete to be partaker of the inheritance of the Saints in light , and hath deliuered thee from the power of darknes : and hath translated thee into the kingdome of his deare sonne . 2. Cor. ● . 1 . Rom. 13.12 . Receiue not this grace in vaine : but cast away the works of darknesse , and put on the armour of light . Be renued in thy heart , and in thy spirit , that it may appeare I haue bin carefull for thee . Thus a carefull father seeketh to traine vp his sonne , and to nurture him .

Now there bee some necessarie meanes and helpes , whereby godly parents may the more effectually and vertuously bring vp their children according to the directions before spoken of , as these .

First , not to suffer their children and youth to haue their owne will . For Salomon saith , Prou. 11.20 . They that are of a froward heart , are abomination vnto the Lord . And againe , in the 29. chapter , vers. 15. A childe set at libertie , maketh his mother ashamed . But what will some be readie to answere in this case ? Oh hee may be broken of that time enough afterwards . But what saith the Wiseman , Eccles. 25.27 . Giue no passage to the waters , no not a little . The heart of a childe is as the violent waters . And as those which haue experience in keeping and repairing the sea bankes , can easily tell vs , that if the raging waues should be suffered to break ouer but one tide , they should hardly in many daies recouer it againe : so if thou sufferest thy childes affections to haue the full swinge and course , yea but a small season , thou shalt hardly or neuer againe winne this breach .

2. The second meanes is , moderation in diet , not to pamper children with too much meate , or that which is delicate ; but to giue them that which is holesome and sufficient , and no more . For excesse breedeth diseases , both in bodie and minde , maketh them gluttons and drunkards , consumers of patrimonie , and this vice draweth a thousand more with it : and euen as the fattest soyle bringeth foorth the rankest weedes ; so pampered children brought vp without due gouernment and discipline , thrust forth the greatest and most ouergrowne vices .

3. The third helpe is , not to clothe them with costly apparell , or to attire them with new fashions . For this againe is contray to the nature of paines and labour , and stirreth vp pride . For euen as the soft flaxe soone catcheth holde on the fire : so youthfull nature will soone bee inflamed with this vice , as lamentable experience too much teacheth at this day . For from whence commeth this disguised & monstrous apparell , but from wanton and dissolute education of youth ? This is the speciall sinne of England , and if any thing bee the ouerthrow of it ( which God for his mercie turne away ) it will be this : the land is too heauie of this sinne . For the pride of al nations , and the follies of al countries are vpon vs , how should wee long beare them ? How art thou fallen from heauen , Esa. 14.12 . Zeph. 1.8 . ô Lucifer , sonne of the morning ? And it shall be in the day of the Lords sacrifice , that J wil visit the Princes , and the Kings children , and all such as are clothed with strange apparell .

4. The fourth helpe is reprehension , or chiding . And this is taught , Prou. 29.15 . The rod and correction giue wisedome . Where by the rod , is vnderstood chastisement ; and by corrections is vnderstood , chiding or reprehension . The want of this helpe was the vtter spoile and vndoing of Adonijah , as may be seene 1. King . 1. & 2. chapters . And here we cannot but iustly finde fault with most parents , who though they be somewhat carefull for their children while they be tender : yet when they be come to some yeares of discretion , as to fifteene or sixteene , ( which time is most fit for reprehension ) because then by al reason it should soonest enter , and which time againe is most dangerous , because then our affections are most strong in vs : oh then they be growne to mens and womens estate , they may not be reprehended , they may not be disgraced . But know thou , oh wise parent , that so long as thou hast a childe , so long thou art a parent : and so long as thou art a father , so long thou must carrie a fatherly authoritie and power ouer him .

5. The fift helpe is chastisement , and it may well be called a helpe , because where reprehension will not serue , that must helpe : and this must bee vsed in order and method , as the skilfull Phisition will not giue his strong and bitter pill before his preparatiue , least the working of it should be hindered by the stubborne and indurate obstructions : so the wise parent in curing his sonnes vices , must not strike before he hath reprehended or preadmonished : least either he bee too much cast downe and discouraged , or waxe obstinate . This kinde of phisicke , as it is more strong then the former , so it hath a more forcible and excellent working . For great is the godlinesse in that seueritie , by which the power of sinning is taken away . And againe , Salomon in the 22. of the Prouerbs , vers. 15. saith more worthily : Foolishnes is bound in the hart of a childe , but the rod of correction shall driue it away . And againe in the 13. chapter , vers. 24. He which spareth the rod , hateth his sonne : that is , he is an enemie vnto him . Wherefore know thou this , O thou father , that when thou seest thy sonne dangerously sicke with the disease of sinne , and doest not vse this helpe and remedie , which God in his holie word hath prescribed vnto thee , thou art accessarie to thy childes death , as an enemie , and his blood shall be required at thy hands : because that where thou mightest haue saued him , thou hast wilfullie cast him away . For Gods loue ( good parents ) looke to your children . Oh that parents had lesse naturall affection , or more wisedome : for euery parent is blind in his owne children . Oh , is it not a pittifull thing , that parents should themselues make graues for their owne children , and burie them quicke without all compassion , and thinke they doe well in it ? And is it not a follie aboue al follies , that while the parent layeth his hand vpon his childs mouth , to keepe away the colde winde , hee presseth it down so hard , that he strangleth him therwith ? Thus many a father and mother in the world , haue killed their deare ones , by their inordinate loue and cockering of them , and thus manie poore infants must still be murthered , because parents will not be warned . Parents are bound by the law of nature to loue their children : for what a crueltie were it , not to loue them that they haue gotten and borne . But yet wisedome requireth that they somewhat dissemble and hide their loue ( especially to those children that bee of some reasonable discretion ) least they should take boldnes thereupon to doe what they list . Genes. 6.5 . and 8.21 . Matth. 15.19 . For if we well consider of mans nature , that it is euill euen from his birth , we shall then finde the young childe which lieth in the cradle , to be both wayward and full of affections , which though his bodie bee but small , yet he hath a great heart , and is altogether inclined to euill : and the more hee waxeth in reason by yeares , the more he groweth proude , froward , wilfull , vnruly , and disobedient . If this sparkle bee suffered to increase , it will rage ouer , and burne down the whole house . For we are changed and become good , not by birth , but by education . For like as planting and carefulnesse hath great power in all growing things ; euen so hath Education greater vertue and strength : yea , and better fruit in the diligent bringing vp of children . Therefore parents must bee warie and circumspect , that they neuer smile or laugh at any words or deedes of their children , done lewdly , vnhonestly , naughtily , wantonly , or shamefully , nor to kisse or commend them for so doing . For children will commonly accustome themselues vnto such things , as they shal see and perceiue to bee pleasing , and delightfull to their father and mother . Therefore they must correct , and sharply reproue their children , for saying or doing ill ▪ and make it knowne vnto them , that they be neither wel pleased , nor contented with their so doing , but that it greatlie disliketh them . And againe , on the other side , let them kisse and make much of them , whensoeuer they shal see or heare them do any thing that is a signe of goodnesse .

But such is the fond and too much cockering affection of some parents towards their children , that there is more neede in these daies , to teach and admonish them not to loue them too much , then to perswade them to loue them . For Dauids darling , was Dauids traytor . 2. Sam. 15. all , and 18.33 . And this is the maner of God and his iust iudgement , that when any father or mother begins ( as it were ) to set their childe , or any thing els , in the roome of God , and so loue the same aboue him which gaue it , either to take away the child , or the thing , or els to take away the parents , before they prouoke him too much . For as the Ape doth with too much embracings , well neere kill her young whelpes : so likewise , some vndiscreet parents , through immoderate loue and ouer-much pampering and cherishing , do vtterly spoyle and marre their children . Therefore , if parents would haue their children liue , they must take heede that they loue them not too much : for the giuer is displeased when the gift is more esteemed then he .

Ill bringing vp , is a cause of marring many which are of a good towardnesse and wit . We may see by experience , how that many children of good wit and towardnesse , are marred and spoyled for want of good education , and so get those vices from their tender yeares , which all their life after doe for the most part accompanie them . For when parents doe either too much cocker their children , or by their lewd example allure them to naughtinesse , or neglect due instruction : what other thing ( I pray you ) can come to passe , then which wee see in trees , which from the beginning being neglected , become crooked and vnfruitfull . Contrariwise , they that are pruned , erected , ordered and watered with the hand and cunning of the Husbandman , are made straight , fertile , and fruitfull . So that the manner of life , education and custome , are of great importance to moue to vertue . What a great follie is it in parents , to toyle themselues and bee occupied in getting riches , and to bee nothing carefull for their children , for whose sake riches are gotten ? Assuredly there can none more precious and better heritage bee left vnto children , then if they bee well and vertuously brought vp from their tender age , and be rightly instructed vnto vertue from their infancie . This patrimonie remaineth with them continually , nothing at all subiect to the stormes and troubles of fortune . But wee see two speciall causes , Two things which much hinder good education . why some parents doe more negligently prouide that their children be instructed : to wit , too much cockering and niggardship .

In cockering , mothers do more often offend , and especially those which haue but few children . These doe like as if some Husband man should refuse to till his field because hee hath but one onely . Who could suffer this mans follie and peruersenesse of iudgement ? Is it not much more to be tilled , because it is onely one ? Yes verely , that so the profit and increase of one , may recompence the want of many : euen so , after the same sort wee iudge it to bee the dutie of mothers , so much more diligently to bring vp their children , by how much they are fewer . But wee see what doth let mothers , The fewer the children , the more diligently to be cared for , that they bewel brought vp . that they loue their children more dearely , then that they can suffer them to be an houre out of their sight : but this is cruel loue so to loue their children , that they should bee as it were giuen ouer of their mothers vnto all naughtinesse , of which peruerse and cruell loue , not a fewe shall suffer the iust punishment , which with great griefe of minde , and with teares shall be compelled to see the vnbrideled wantonnesse and vngratiousnesse of their children , vnto which they doe now all too late , goe about to prouide a remedie .

The second cause , which hindereth good education . On the other side , niggardship is oftentimes greater , then that parents will bestow the cost . Whatsoeuer is spent vpon horse-keepers , or horse-breakers , fooles , minstrels , dogs , hawkes , &c. that some thinke well bestowed : but if they see any thing to be spent about instructing their children , they thinke all that ill bestowed , and are much more carefull that an horse bee well framed to vauting and leaping , then that their childe bee well instructed to vertue . This inconuenience commeth to the minds of children , if they bee not well brought vp , that they become seruile , and open to all sin and naughtines . For if a man leaue his field vntilled , hee shall finde it to haue brought forth fearne and thistles , and such vnprofitable weedes : after the same sort , if he shall leaue the wittes of his children vnlooked vnto , and vnexercised , hee shall be sure to reape most aboundant fruite of wantonnes and vngratiousnes .

The holie Ghost speaking in the Scriptures of foolish sonnes ; as that he that begetteth such a one , getteth himselfe sorrow , and that the father of a foole hath no ioy : Prou. 17.21 . meaneth it not so much of naturall fooles or idiots , and such as are destitute of common reason , although it is true , that is a lamentable iudgement of God , and a heauinesse to the parents of such a childe : as of wicked children , such as either are ignorant in the word , or not knowing how to order one right steppe to the kingdome of God : or els hauing some knowledge , abuse it to maintaine their carnall lusts and appetite . For this cause , as it would griue parents to haue naturall fooles to their children , or such as either in some imperfection of nature are dismembred , or deformed , and misfigured in the parts of their bodie : so much more should it grieue them to haue such children , as either for want of knowledge and heauenly wisedome , cannot walke in the feare of God ; or abusing the knowledge giuen them , prostitute and giue themselues to all sinne and wickednesse : it is marueilous how greatly parents can bewaile the want of one naturall gift proceeding of some imperfection , and how easily they can passe ouer without any griefe , the want of all spirituall graces , springing from corrupt education .

In like maner is it strange , that men can take the matter so heauilie , when their children breake into such offences , as either haue open shame , or ciuill punishment following them : and yet can make no bones , but passe ouer such sins as are against the maiestie of God , accompanied with euerlasting confusion , and vnspeakable torments ? Wherein what doth the most part of men bewray , but their great hypocrisie , in that neither their ioy , nor their griefe is found to their children , and that they loue themselues more in their children , then either their saluation , or the glorie of God : the tender loue and care whereof ( no doubt ) did increase the sorrow of Dauid , for the death of his sonne Absolon , 2. Sam. 18.33 . who was not so much grieued for the losse of a sonne , as for that vntimely end of his son , to whom the time of repentance for his saluation , and the glorie of God , was denied : which happily , if he had liued , his father Dauid might haue reioyced in . Let parents therefore learne to correct their affections to their children , and bee grieued for their ignorance , impietie , and sinnes , whereof either their carnall copulation , the not lamenting of their naturall corruption , the want of prayer and holie seede , or prophane education , armed with the wrath of God , may be a most iust occasion . Can parents hope for a holie posteritie ? or doe they maruell if the Lord crosse them in the children of their bodies , when they make as bolde and brutish an entrance into that holie ordinance of the Lord , as is the meeting of the neighing horse with his mare : when being ioyned in that honourable estate of matrimonie , either as meere naturall men , without all knowledge of God , they beget their children : or as too carnall men without the feare and reuerence of the Lord , neither bewayling their corruptions which they receiued of their ancestrie , nor praying against their infirmities , which may descend to their posteritie , they abuse the mariage bed .

Lastly , when hauing receiued the fruit of the wombe , they haue no care , by good and vertuous bringing vp , to offer it to the Lord , that their childe by carnall generation , may bee the childe of God by spirituall regeneration . Surely no : and yet men looking vp to God his prouidence and secret counsell , without all bethinking themselues of their corrupt generation , from which their children are descended , without all looking backe into their wicked and godlesse bringing of them vp , will fret against their sinnes , fume against their children : yea , often they wil correct them , and that to serue their owne corruptions , not so much grieued for that they haue sinned against God , as that they haue offended them . Christians therfore must know , that when men and women raging with boyling lust , meete together as brute beasts , hauing no other respect , then to satisfie their own carnall concupiscence , when they make no conscience to sanctifie the marriage bedde with prayer , when they haue no care to increase the Church of Christ , and the number of the elect , it is the iust iudgement of God to send them either monsters , or naturall fooles , or else such as hauing good gifts of the minde , and well proportioned bodies , are most wicked , gracelesse , and prophane persons .

Againe on the contrarie , wee shall finde in the word of God , that noble and notable men commended vnto vs , for rare examples of vertue and godlinesse , were children asked and obtained of God by prayer . Gene. 4.2.25 . Our first parents Adam and Eue , being humbled after the birth of their wicked sonne Caine , obtained a righteous Abel : of whom , when by his bloodie brother they were bereft , they receiued that holie man Seth. Abraham begetting in the flesh , had a cursed sonne Ismael , but waiting by faith for the accomplishment of God his couenant , he obtained a blessed Isaack . Gene. 21 , 2. Iacob not content with one wife , according to the ordinance of God , was punished in his children : yet afterward being humbled , he receiued faithfull Ioseph . Gene. 30.24 . 1. Sam. 29. Elkana and Hannah , praying and being cast downe , had a Samuel , that did minister before the Lord . Dauid and Bethsheba lamenting their sinnes , 2. Sam. 22.24 . obtained Salomon , a man of excellent wisedome . Zacharie and Elizabeth fearing the Lord , Luke 1.13 . receiued Iohn the Baptist , a forerunner of Christ .

Looke what sinnes parents haue receiued naturally without God his great blessing , without prayer and humbling of themselues , they shall conuey them to their posteritie . And although the Lord graunteth sometimes ciuill gifts vnto the children of naturall and carnall men : yet for the most part they receiue their naturall sinnes . But if the children of God by regeneration , doe see in themselues , and lament their sinnes of generation , praying that their naturall corruptions may be preuented in their posterities ; they shall see the great mercies of God in some measure , freeing their children from the same .

Now when thou shalt see such sinnes to be in thy children , enter into thine owne hart , examine thy selfe whether they are not come from thee : consider how iustly the hand of GOD may bee vpon thee : and when thou wouldest be angrie against thy childe , haue an holy anger with thy selfe , and vse this , and such like meditation with thine owne soule : Lord , shal I thus punish mine owne sinne , and that in mine own childe ? shall I thus persecute the corruptions of my ancestors ? nay , I see ( O Lord ) and proue , that thou art displeased with mee , for the too carnall conception of my childe : I lay then in some sinne , I asked it not of thee by prayer : bee mercifull vnto mee ( O Lord ) and in thy good time shew some pitie vpon my childe .

Thus thinking thou goest about to correct nature in thy childe , which he could not helpe , arming thy selfe with prayer , repenting with Iacob , thou shalt bee so affected , as desirous to draw thy child out of sinne , yet with the mildest meanes and least rigor . And one thing is most wonderfull ; that some will teach their children to speake corruptly , and doe wickedly whilest they are young , and yet beate them for it when they are old . Againe , some will imbolden their little ones to practise iniquitie towards others , which when by the iust iudgement of God , they afterwards exercise towards the parents themselues , they are corrected for it . And yet deale with these , and such like men , for the euill education of their children , and they will answere : Doe not wee , as much as is of vs required ? wee send our children to the church to be instructed of the Pastor : and to the schoole to bee taught of the master : if they learne , it will be the better for them : if not , they haue the more to answer for : what can we doe more ? But remember , O man : consider , O woman , whosoeuer thus speaketh , for that sins sake , and the want of prayer , there may be a plague vpon the Pastors paines , and a curse vpon the teachers trauell .

Children profit more by good example in one month , then by instruction in a whole yeare . If parents therefore would haue their children blessed at the Church , and at the schoole : let them beware they giue their children no corrupt example at home , by any carelesnesse , prophanenesse , or vngodlinesse ; for when examples are set before childrens eyes , they are easily led away to that which is euill : otherwise , parents will doe them more harme at home , then both Pastor & schoolemaster can do good abroad : for the corrupt example of the one , fighteth with the good doctrine of the other : which is by so much the more dangerous , because that corrupt walking is armed with nature , and therefore more forcibly inclineth the affections of children to that side . And further , experience teacheth vs , that children like , or mislike more by countenance , gesture and behauiour , then by any rule , doctrine , or precept whatsoeuer .

Some there be , that will not haue their children taught , vntill they be ten or twelue yeeres old , because ( as they say ) at that age they haue but an apish imitation .

To whom wee answere , that although they cannot then deepely discerne , nor profoundly conceiue things : yet how many things before these yeeres , will they both receiue and remember ? And we demaund , if children be apish in imitating , and following that , whilst they bee young , which they will haue the habit , qualitie or propertie of , when they be old , may they not much better doe apishly good , whiles they are young , which they may carefully doe , when they are old ? besides , let them goe so vntaught , and they will grow so head-strong , that they will sooner be broken , then bended : and sure it is , that one stripe , or two words , will doe more good to a child in time , then a hundreth stripes afterward . And here let parents be admonished of their vndiscreet correction , who doe their children more harme , in shewing a merrie countenance , after their discipline vsed , then they doe good by their chastisement of them , whiles they doe correct them . Neyther doe we purpose to take away naturall affections , and a christian kind of compassion in all our censures : for it is our great complaint of the brutish vnmercifulnesse of many parents herein , but we would wish Christians , to correct their vndiscreet affections herein by heauenly wisedome . Neither are we so stoicall , as to denie a more mild and affable kind of speech , to bee both lawfully and conueniently vsed to children , and yet we wish it to be voyd of all vnseemely lenitie , and without all shew of foolish , vaine and vnnecessarie behauiour .

To be briefe , how needfull household gouernment is towards children , may appeare by the slender thriuing , & smal profiting either of religion or vertue , either in the Church or Common-wealth . Speake men of discipline neuer so much , complaine they of the want of Church gouernment neuer so lowd , preach they , teach they neuer so much abroad , vnles they wil begin discipline , in reforming their houses , and giue religion some roome at home , they shall trauell much , & profit little . And surely , if men be carefull to reforme themselues first , & then their families : if their charge be greater then their circuits and prouinces wherein the Lord hath placed them , it were the best way to moue the Lord to bestow reformation and discipline on his Church among vs : and of all meanes that now may be hoped for , this seemeth best : for of particular persons , come families : of families , townes : of townes , prouinces : of prouinces , Realmes : so that conueying discipline thus from one to another , in time , & that shortly , it would come into the Church . Well ( we say ) let there be neuer so good lawes in cities , neuer so pure orders in churches , if there be no practise at home : if fathers of families vse not doctrine and discipline in their houses , & ioyne their helping hands to Magistrates & Ministers , they may indeed , but vniustly , as many haue done , complaine that their children are corrupted abroad , when they were before , and are still corrupted and spoiled at home . Alas , if parents , to whom the comfort of their children well brought vp , is a precious crowne , will not informe , and reforme their children in the feare of God , how would hope sustaine these men , that others wil performe this duty for them , to whom this charge doth far lesse appertaine . Lastly , let parents remember , that therfore they haue disordered & disobedient children to themselues , because they haue bin disobedient children vnto the Lord , & disordered to their parents , when they were young : whereof because they haue not repented , the Lord punisheth their sinnes to others , with the like sinne to themselues . Wilt thou know , thou father , how thou mayest haue that blessing to be the blessed father of a blessed seed ? Wilt thou thou know , thou mother , how to auoyd that curse , to be the cursed mother of a cursed seed ? bring thy children within the compasse of the couenant , indeuour to make thy sonne , the sonne of God , and thy daughter by nature , the daughter of God by grace : and remember how that God , which on his part protested to father Abraham , Gen. 17.1 . that he was all sufficient , for the accomplishment of his promise , in giuing him a blessed seed : and requested also on father Abrahams part , that he should walke before him , and be vpright . Wilt thou then haue the one part of this ? of the couenant that is , that God should blesse thee in thy seed : then remember also , that thou walke before the Lord , and be vpright . Wilt thou haue thy children as the blessed seed of Abraham ? teach them with Abraham the iudgements of the Lord : pray for them with Abraham , that they may liue in the light of the Lord : be readie to offer them with Abraham , that they may bee an holy sacrifice vnto the Lord . It is thou ( O man ) ( O woman ) that mayst doe thy child the greatest good , and the greatest harme : if thou prayest for him , and repentest for thy selfe , the Lord will blesse thy care , the Pastours paynes , and the Teachers trauell : but if thou despisest these dueties , the Lord will denie thee these blessings , and the curse of God will fall vpon thy child , at home in thy house , abroad in the Church , and in the schoole .

And seeing the Lord hath promised that he will bee thy God , and blesse thy seed , if thou beest faithfull , thou mayest both hope , that thou art of the faithfull , if thou hast a blessed seed : and feare that thou hast not as yet , the blessing of the couenant , when thy seed is accursed .

But had not Jacob wicked children , and Dauid godly sonnes ? and doth not dayly experience teach vs , that wicked men haue godly children ? Yes , for besides the secret counsell of the Lord herein , we must know , that neither the promise of the Lord is so vniuersall , that euery particular child of a faithfull man , should be within the couenant : or if of many , there be but one blessed , the promise is performed : yea , which more is , though the faithfull man haue neuer a good child , yet , if vnto the thousand generation , there be but one good , the couenant is not broken : neither must wee tie the Lord his worke , so much to man , that a good man may not haue an euil sonne , seeing though the Lord visit not his sinnes , yet hee may visit the sinnes of some of his Forefathers , to the third and fourth generation going before . To the second ( wee say ) that an euill father hauing a good child , though the Lord shew not mercie to that particular man therein , yet hee may remember his promise to some of the Forefathers , in the thousand generations going before : and though that an euill man haue no cursed child , yet the curse may be accomplished in the third and fourth generations following .

Wherefore , not speaking of election , or reprobation , which we leaue onely to the Lord , to make good or bad : we exhort parents to vse the ordinary meanes to bring vp their children , so as they , either by some good tokens may see them the children of God , and heyres of the couenant , or at least be comforted in their own conscience : if their children for some cause vnknowne refuse it , in that to the vttermost of their abilitie , they haue vsed all good and godly meanes to bring them vp well , & offered them to God .

And if parents haue cause to bee grieued , when thus trauelling in good education , they cannot see good in their children , how much more cause of griefe may they haue , when they haue vsed & bestowed no labour at all , to bring them vp in the feare of the Lord ? And yet many will be grieued for the one , that will not for the other . Wherefore let vs learne , if we wish to conuey God his blessings to our posterities , let vs vse the duties thereunto : let vs , ( if we be loth to conuey God his iudgements to our children ) carefully auoid the meanes vnto it : and surely , as it is a blessed thing in the houre of death , with Simeon to depart in peace , Luke 2.29 . leauing our wiues , children , and seruants , members of Christ , spouses to Christ , children to God , and seruants to the Lord : so in death , no one thing will bee more grieuous vnto a man , then ( the Lord hauing giuen him the charge of so many soules to bee furthered to saluation ) that his owne tormented conscience shall presse him : how , in as much as hee could , hee hath helped them forward to their damnation : and so ( which is more fearefull ) he shall haue them spewing and foming out on his face , continuall curses in hell , accusing him for euer to be a murtherer of their soules , and a cut of their saluation .

The end of all this , briefly is thus much : that parents hauing fooles , children not walking either in knowledge , or in a good conscience , must make some vse of so iust a cause of griefe , examining themselues , and accusing their own soules before the Lord , eyther for that their meeting was prophane to so holy an estate , or brutish , because they desired rather a seed like vnto themselues in flesh and blood , then such as might bee like to Christ by grace , and new birth , or that they begat their ofspring as meere naturall , or very carnall men : or because they eyther prophanely neglected all good education : or monstrously misliked that in their yong children , which they liked in themselues , and punished in them their owne corrupt precepts : or for that they suffered their children iniuriously to do euill to others , which they could not suffer to doe to themselues : or vntaught them that at home , which was taught abroad : or in that they doe lie in some sinne vnrepented of : or else because they neuer made conscience to bring their posteritie within the couenant of saluation , but still loued the flesh of their children , and not their soules .

Let all Parents remember , that they are bound by the Law of God and nature , as concerning this bodily life , to make good and honest prouision ( according to their degrees ) for the reliefe and maintenance of their children and familie . And therefore such Fathers and mothers , as consume and waste away their money and substance vnthriftily , by dicing , carding , gaming , or by any other indirect and vnlawfull meanes , whereby their children and familie should bee maintayned , doe very vnnaturally sinne , and breake Gods commandements .

The wise man sheweth parents , when is the best time to sow the seed of vertue in their children , that it may bring forth the fruit of life , and make them alway readie to die : saying , Eccles. 12.1 . Remember now ( saith he ) thy Creator in the dayes of thy youth . Youth must thinke on death betimes , to the end to liue well , and die well . As if he should say : Bee mindfull , and thinke on God in thy youth , and do not prolong or defer it vntil age , And so all their life shall runne in a line , the middle like the beginning , and the end like the middle : as the Sunne setteth against the place where it rose .

One of the principallest duties that belong to parents towards their children , is , that they be very warie and carefull , Marriage with Papists , &c. that their sonnes and daughters doe not match in marriage , with such as are vngodly , wicked , and voyd of true religion . Which if they doe , they endanger the faith of their children , and so commit a grieuous sinne .

For proofe whereof , let vs consider first what marriage is , & how nigh a coniunction the Lord hath made it . He made the woman of the mans nature , flesh of his flesh , & bone of his bones : Gen. 2.23 . so that wee may not imagine , that in the outward and worser part , that that God which required so neer a coniuction , wil suffer the mind and spirite of the husband and wife , betweene faith & superstition to be rent asunder . Therfore when God said : They shall be two in one flesh : Verse 24. We may not thinke but that he spake it of the whole and perfect creature made of bodie and soule , that they should bee of two one . Or that God did by so holy a Law , set free the holiest part , requiring onely such agreement in the flesh and bodie , and leaue the soule and spirit in dissention ? For as God gaue vnto both one name , as touching their earthly nature , signifying their vnity , and called them Adam : Genes. 5.2 . So hee gaue vnto them a likenesse in name , as they were ioyned in marriage , to signifie their agreement in mind and spirit , & called the one Man , and the other Woman : Genes. 2.22 , 23. Yea , he gaue vnto marriage this especiall priuiledge . Gen. 2.24 . For this cause shall a man leaue his father & his mother , and shall leaue to his wife , and they shall be one flesh : but it could neuer be , that any vniting onely of flesh and blood , should haue found a dispensation from that Law , that bindeth mind and conscience . Honour thy father and thy mother : Exod. 20.12 .

The holy and faithfull bond of marriage betweene man and wife , signifieth vnto vs , that most holy Coniunction of vs and Christ with his Church : Ephes. 5.25 . Seeing that this is a Coniunction both of body and soule , then such as are christian parents , ought to bee carefull , that their children may reioyce in it , How should that marriage speed well , when the bridegrome marrieth such one , as to whom hee may not say , God speed , because she is none of Gods friends . 2 Iob. 10. 1. Cor. 7.39 . But how doe they marrie in the Lord , who do marrie the Lords enemies . howsoeuer it liketh other to marrie their children , yet they ought to see that their children do settle themselues , that they may knit their minds in religion , where they make their bodies one , that so their marriage may bee to them , as a looking-glasse to view and behold the loue of Christ . Saint Paul giueth this generall rule to all that will marrie , that they marrie in the Lord . And to marrie onely in the Lord , is not to be led by flesh and blood , with fauour , credit , honour , friendship , riches , or beautie : but rather it is to marrie religiously in the feare of God , and in the fellowship of the Church of Christ , where true christians liue by one faith , professe one religion , and serue one God . Now let vs a little call to our remembrance , what fruit such vnequal marriages haue brought forth from the beginning . The sonnes of God , Gen. 6.2.11 . As the Iewes might not marrie with the Chananites , so christians may not marrie with them , which are like Chananites . Gen. 24.3 . and 28.1 . Mal. 2.11 . Ezra . 9.12 . saw the daughters of men , that they were faire , & they tooke them wiues of all that they liked . This aduenturous marriage in strange religion , did so infect the world , that all flesh had corrupted his wayes . For this cause God gaue this plaine and expresse law vnto the people of Israel , as touching all the Inhabitants of the land of Canaan : Thou shalt not giue thy daughters vnto his sonnes : Deut. 72.3 , 4. Exo. 34.16 . Surely they will turne away thy heart : 1. Kin. 11.2 . Ezra 9.1.2 . &c. and 10.1.2 . &c. reade the places . We may not here thinke , that this inhibition serueth now vnto vs , as touching Pagans , Turkes , or Infidels : but rather we must assure our selues in the trueth , and know that no people in the world are more within the compasse of this law , them the papist , & superstitious idolater . The holy Ghost forbiddeth vs to keepe company with Idolaters , If adulterie may separate marriage , shal not idolatrie hinder marriage , which is worse then it . and such as are of a strange religion . And how can he then permit , that wee should marrie with them ? He commandeth straightly : that we should not draw in one yoke with the vnbeleeuing . 2. Cor. 6.14 . which to doe , is as vnseemely , as an oxe and an asse to be yoked togither to plough : Deut. 22.10 . And how can wee possibly deuise to violate and breake this commandement more contumeliously , then to yoke our selues in marriage with the vnfaithfull ? We are charged : To offer vp our bodies , a linely , a holy , and a reasonable sacrifice vnto God : Rom. 12.1 . But if we shall giue our bodies to Papists , wee then shall make them one flesh with the Papists , and then we may be sure , that no corrupt sacrifice can bee a sweet smelling sacrifice vnto the Lord our God . Parents may not giue their daughters to a man vnsanctified . Gen. 34.14 . Here godly parents ought then aduisedly to consider , that the strengthning and constant standing in religion of their children , is onely of God , and from God , and not of themselues , and therefore although they haue brought vp their children religiously and vertuously , and thinke they are so well grounded & setled therein , that they cannot bee remoued and drawne from their sound profession : yet they must beware , that they doe not tempt God , & venture their children to walke in that way , which so many haue fallen in . How can they assure themselues ? that their children shall abide constant , and stand vpright , if they shall consent , that they may couple themselues in Marriage with Papists .

Sampson was borne by Gods promise , consecrated to the Lord from the day of his birth , to the day of his death , made Iudge of Israel , a Deliuerer of Gods Church , and a Reuenger of his enemies , very great and especiall tokens of the grace of God in him , that it should be continued : yet , when he would attempt to marrie one of a strange religion , he lost his honour , and became a laughing stocke vnto the enemies of God . Iudg. the fourteenth Chapter and first verse &c. and 16.4.17.18 . &c.

Salomon was a wise man , Miserable is that man , which is fettered with a woman , that liketh not his religion . as euer was any before him or after him : God had indued him with heauenly gifts , and had set him vp , as a figure of his Sonne Christ : yet when he had married with Pharaohs daughter , ( a woman of another religion , and a stranger from the Common-wealth of Israel ) he then fell from worse to worse , till at the last hee became a miserable Idolater . 1. King . 11.4 .

What was the cause that Ahab King of Israel , did worse then all the Kings before him , He feareth not sinne , which doth not shun occasions , & he is worthy to be snared , which leadeth himselfe into temptation , & ●o maketh a trap for himselfe . Luke 11.4 . a man euen sold to worke wickednes in the sight of the Lord : aboue all his idolatries , and walking in the most wretched wayes of Jeroboam : the Scripture layeth this to his charge , euen as his greatest sinne , that he tooke the daughter of the King of the Sidonians to his wife : 1. King . 16.28 , 29 , 30 , 31. And least such parents as either haue , or hereafter shall marrie their children to Papists , should thinke their case to bee better then his , because though they marrie them to Papists , or to Atheists , yet they doe not marrie them to any Pagans .

The wife must be meet , as God said , Gen. 2.18 . But how is she meet ▪ if the husband be a Christian , and she a Papist ? Let them consider what the Scripture teacheth them more : Iehoram king of Iudah , hee maried neither with any Sidonian , nor Egyptian , neither with Pagan nor Infidell , but with one of his owne people , and of the Tribe of Israel : yet because she had corrupted her religion in her fathers house , the Scripture sheweth this to be the cause of all Iehorams sin : He did euil in the sight of the Lord , because the daughter of Ahab was his wife , 2. King . 8.18 . Yea , the Scripture maketh this sin so great , that Iehosophat a good king , was yet defiled with it , and it is reported as a great blemish of his vertuous doings , that euer he suffered his sonne Jehoram so dangerously to marrie . 2. Chro. 18.1 .

When God would blame the Idolatrie of his people of Israel , shewing both how greatly hee did hate it , and what plagues he would bring vpon them for it , he reuealed it vnto his Prophet vnder this parable , bidding him take vnto himselfe a wife of fornications : that is , a wife full of spirituall whoredomes , such a one as a Papist is , that in such a mariage ( as in a glasse ) he might behold how loathsome the peoples Idolatries were : Hose. 1.2 . &c.

Parents haue further to remember , that they haue not this rule and authority ouer their children , that they may chuse whether they will let them marrie or no , or when they list , and whom they list ; but fathers and mothers must consider , that they haue rule ouer their children vnder the Lord , so that the Lord is aboue them : and therefore parents must deale with their children according to the will and minde of God , which will of God is reuealed vnto vs out of his word .

Now God by his Apostle saith : To auoyde fornication , let euery man haue his owne wife , 1. Cor. 7.2 . & let euery woman haue her own husband . Wherby all parents may see , that God commandeth them to permit and suffer euery one to marrie that is disposed to marrie .

Now , if they may not forbid any man or woman to marrie , much lesse their owne children , whom if they suffer not to marrie , not hauing the gift of continencie , then they breake and resist Gods ordinance . For we reade , that when Isaack forbad his sonne Iacob to marrie any of the daughters of Canaan , Gen. 28.1.2 . he did not restraine him altogether from mariage , and therfore hee directed him , where , and with whom he should marrie .

Likewise the parents of Sampson , Iudg. 14.12.3 . when hee asked a wife of them , did not simply forbid him to marrie , but they reproued him , for because hee would marrie an infidell , and a prophane woman . It is the parents dutie to giue their children that which may helpe them in this life , to counsell or to prouide them fit and religious marriages 2. Cor. 12.14 . Gen. 24.2 , 3 , 4. Ruth . 3.1 . Therefore such parents as bee godly , will haue aduised consideration and regard of the infirmities of their children , and whether they can liue continent and chaste , or no : and if they shall make choise , and haue a good liking to such as be honest , religious and godly , ( hauing craued their parents consent ) although they be not so rich and wealthie , as they would wish them to match with : yet they ought not to hinder , restraine , and forbid their children to marrie , onely for want of goods and substance .

Parents ought to bee carefull , that their childoe marrie in such an age wherein they should vnderstand whom they choose , and very well perceiue what they take in hand , and that they doe not seeke to match them selues in marriage aboue their degree . And it is very expedient , that parents admonish their children , to make their choise according to their complexion and condition .

When parents doe abuse their authoritie . This is a most vnnaturall and cruell part , for parents to sell their children for gaine and lucre , and to marrie them when they list , & to whom they list , without the good liking of their children , Parents must not match their children onely for carnall respects . and so bring them into bondage . And therefore if parents shal force and compell their children to marrie contrary to their mind and liking : then the sorrowfull children may not say , they haue maried them ; but for euer they haue married and vndone them . And therfore to the end , When parents doe marrie their daughters to men of vnderstanding , they shall performe a waightie worke . that marriages may be perpetuall , louing , and delightfull betwixt the parties : there must and ought to be a knitting of hearts , before striking of hands . The places of scripture , are many & diuerse , by which may plainely appeare , that all godly and christian Parents , are charged by God himselfe , that they should be carefull in time , to make meet choise of husbands for their daughters , & fit wiues for their sonnes : amongst many , these quotations doe sufficiently prooue . Deut. 7.3 . Nehe. 13.23.24 . Ier. 29.6.1 . Cor. 7.36.37.38 . Gen. 24.12 . &c. and 28 1.1 . and 34.4 . and 38.6.8 . Iosu. 15.16 , 17.2 . Sam. 13.13 . Iudg. 14.1 , &c. Let fathers and mothers therefore , on whom this charge by God his commaundement lieth , to take wiues for their sonnes , and to prouide husbands for their daughters , take diligent heede hereunto , that they abuse not this their power and authoritie ouer their children , but as in other cases , they are willed by the Apostle , Col. 3.21 . that they do●● not in such sort towardes them , that they hereby bee dismayed and discouraged ; so especially in this matter of greatest moment and value , or all other worldly things whatsoeuer : let them abstaine from all rigour and roughnesse , and beware that they turne not their fatherly iurisdiction and gouernment , into a tyrannicall sowernesse and waywardnesse , letting their will go for a lawe , and their pleasure for a reason . For the rule of Parents ouer their children , ought to resemble the gouernment of good Princes towards their subiects : that is to say , it must be milde , gentle , and easie to bee borne , for as they , so likewise Parents , so farre as concerneth them , and lieth in their abilitie to performe , they must carry such an euen and vpright hand in their gouernment , that they may by loue seeke to win the hearts of those , ouer whom they are set , to be firme and sure towards them , and not to keepe them vnder a seruile o● slauish awe and subiection by too much feare , but rather by a childelike and reuerent feare , which both the subiects owe vnto their Princes , and children vnto their Parents , and which both the one and the other , easilie obtaine at the hands of such as are vnder their gouernment , by their equall , vpright , and moderate behauiour towards them . Parents ought to deale sincerely in the choise for their children . It doth therefore stand Parents greatly in hand , that in making choise for their children , they bee free from all sinister and corrupt affection , and that for lucre and couetousnesse they seeke not to thrust such matches vppon their children , as they cannot brooke , nor like well of . Yea , and in this most graue and waightie cause , it is a thing earnestly to be wished , In prouiding of matches for their children , Parents ought to beginne with prayer . that all christian Parents would not take this matter and businesse lightly in hand , as if it were but a toy , or a iest , but that they begin it with prayer , that in the whole action , they may in such sort be directed , that they do nothing against the word of God , or vnbeseeming the same authoritie , the which God himselfe in this cause hath imposed or laid vpon them . And thus doing , God no doubt will ad a blessing vnto their godly indeuour and holy care , and worke obedience in the hearts of their children , as he framed the heart of Isaac with entire affection to embrace Rebeccah , whom his father Abraham had by his steward prouided for him : Gen. 22.7 . &c.

The third poynt , that appertaineth to parents , The third poynt . Examples doe much more perswade then words , yet we must liue by precepts , and not by examples . is to be themselues examples of al godlinesse & vertuousnesse to their children . So that they must remember , that they themselues do not say , or do anything , that is euil or offensiue , in the presence of their children . For it is certaine , that children follow & learne nothing so much , and so soone , as that which they see their father & mother do , or say . For the vertue , thriuing , and prosperitie of children , are for the most part wrought by the fathers and mothers good example and instructions : and so contrariwise . For that which is done by example , the inferiours will think they may lawfully doe the like . As good examples doe edifie and vphold : so ill examples doe destroy and confound . For humanitie is taught by the law of Nature . If therefore Parents by their example should teach the contrary , what do they else but indeuour to transforme men into beasts , beginning first to performe it in their own children ? They must be circumspect , that their children do not fight , and iniurie one another : and if they sweare , curse , lye , or speake any bawdie or ribaldous words , or sing any filthie rymes , or vnchristian songs , them to reprooue them sharply for it . And let Parents alway labour , that their children may rather feare them , for loue and reuerence , then for feare of punishment . For children that obey their Parents for feare of correction , such commonly feare them no longer , then the stripes endureth . As the father beginneth , so it is like the sonne wil proceed . Before all things , it is needfull that Parents should shew themselues vnto their children , as a manifest patterne or example , not only by not sinning and offending God any waies : but also by liuing godly , and by doing all things honestly , that so their children may looke into their liues , & peruse themselues as in a glasse . And therefore , if Parents do giue good examples , Gal. 6.7 . they shall reape the fruit thereof , on the life , behauiour , manners , and prosperitie of their children . For children loue and delight to do , as their Parents did before them .

All christian fathers ought to be very careful , in nourishing and maintaining naturall loue and concord , amongst the children and familie , and in no wise to suffer any sparke of hatred to enter into their harts , Math. 18.7 . least it kindle a fire in their breast : much lesse ought they themselues to cast in coales of discord among them , by vnkinde , or iniurious examples of dealing . For the state of a familie , if it be in due order , is like to a frame of ioyning worke , or building , whereof , if some one peece be out of his place , it tendeth to a disordering of all the rest : and one disorder following another , all Bee commeth out of ioynt , and falleth vnto confusion very dispraisable . So that Parents therefore ought to be carefull to maintaine their children in peace , concord and amitie . For if discord and contention be daungerous and pernitious among al men , how much rather betweene brethren and sisters ? Likewise , if it be hard quenching of stomacke and debate , betweene those that are not conioyned in kindred , it is farre more difficult to reunite bretheren , because enmitie among them is mightie and strong , like Iron barres to keepe them asunder . Neyther is there any thing more slipperie or of greater efficacie to subuert a familie , then dissention among brethren . It is an olde saying : by concord small things do growe , but by discord great things come to nought . Againe , how daungerous it is for Parents to shew more loue and affection to one childe , them to another , except vppon iust and great cause , the example of Iacobs children doth testifie . For what was the originall of their enuie and crueltie executed against their brother Ioseph , Genes. 37.3 . Moses there saith , that Iacob louing Ioseph better then his brethren , made him a partie coloured coate , and thereof they tooke occasion to take him , and to speake roughlie vnto him . Parents therefore to the end to preuent like inconueniences , are to vse equalitie among their children so neere as may bee , whether in their ordinarie vsage , or in the diuision of their goods . For all men naturally are inclined , but too much to the loue of earthly goods : so the vnequall sharing and diuiding of the same , doth oftentimes breed great braules & pernitious debate betweene brethren and sisters . Therefore all fathers and mothers are with great diligence , to take heed what they say or do in their houses and that they doe not commit any lewde or wicked deed , whereby their children may bee moued to imitate and follow the same : neither that they vtter or speake any bawdy or ribaldous words , or vse to sweare , or lye , in their presence : for euill speakings or communication ( saith the Apostle ) corrupteth good maners . 1. Cor. 15.33 . Seruants also are to be looked vnto , and sharply rebuked , if they doe commit or shew any lewd tricke , or vnhonest behauiour in the presence of children eyther in word , deed , or gesture . For iustly bee they called murtherers , that kill their children , being new borne , and kill but the bodie . How great wickednesse is it then to kill the mindes of children , through euill examples ? Deserue not such seruants seuerely to bee punished by law , ( thinke you ) that bewitch young children , or hurt their weake bodies with poisons ? What then do they deserue , which corrupt the chiefe parts of Infants , with most vngratious venome : we meane , by filthie talke and lew●e conuersation of life ? yet it is a lighter matter to kill the body , then the minde and soule .

Further , Parents ought to bee circumspect and warie , that their children doe not haunt or vse euill company , or vse any vnhonest pastime . For if it bee so , that a father will not suffer his childe to come into a place where he may be in daunger to take hurt of his body , eyther by infection of the plague , or otherwise : how much more is hee bound to with holde and keepe his childe from comming there , where hee should hurt and poyson his soule ? The last poynt . Gen. 3.19 Ezech. 16.49 . Pro. 12 11. and 18.9 . 1. Tim. 5.13 . 2. Thes. 3.10.11 . The fourth and last poynt is , that all Parents doe with all care and diligence , keepe their children from lazie Idlenesse , a vice no doubt , out of which doe spring many inconueniences . And is condemned by the holy Ghost , in many places of scripture : whereby God declareth , that hee created no man in vaine , or to no purpose , neither is there any man , vnto whom he hath not alotted , as it were , a certaine standing & roome , and a lawful calling to walke in . Wherupon it followeth , that the order which God hath appoynted , is troubled by such as liue idely : yea , Gods ordinance is broken , which is great sinne and wickednesse . So then by the word of God , none ought to liue●idly , and to neglect his charge and dutie , but ought to giue himselfe to some profitable calling , to get his liuing by , and to do good to others . Although fathers prouide for their children great store of money , and huge heaps of treasure : yet in three or foure houres , al may be wasted and come to nought . For much euill commeth through idlenesse : It is an euill teacher , Hee that doth nothing is ill occupied , The minde of man is euer stirring and doing somwhat . If it be not doing will , it is doing ill . As water though it be neuer so cleare and faire , fresh and comfortable : yet if it stand still in a pitte or hole , or be kept long in a vessell whence it hath no issue it will putrifie and corrupt , rotte and smell , and be vnwholesome : euen so it fareth with children : yea , and with all the sonnes of Adam , if they haue nothing to do , no way to bestow their witte , they will rotte , and prooue vnwholesome , and deuise mischiefe all the day long . Idlenesse bringeth much euill . For as labour and exercise of body in one man , industrie and diligence of mind in an other man , are sure Fortes and strong Bulwarkes of Countries : euen so idlenesse and negligence , are the cause of all euil , for an ydle mans braine becommeth quickly the shoppe of the diuell . And as in all things naturall , there is one thing or other , which is the spoyle of it : as the canker to the rose , the worme to the apple , and the caterpiller to the leafe : so the common spoyle to all youth , is the contrary to paines and labour , which is idlenesse . Therfore is idlenesse worthily called the mother of all euils , and step-dame of all vertues . The Prophet Ezechiel in his sixteenth chapter , verse fortie nine , teacheth , that idlenesse was one of the principall sinnes of Sodome which pulled downe fire and brimstone from heauen vpon their heads : this idlenesse is the diuels confederate , for euen as the traiterous seruant , while his maister is asleepe , and all things at rest , setteth open the doore for the theefe to enter in vpon him , and spoyle him at his pleasure : euen so idlenesse , while wee are not aware , lying soft vppon the pillowes of securitie , openeth the doore for the euill to enter into vs with full swing , to the destruction both of body & soule . S. Mathew saith , chapter thirteene , twentie fiue verse , that while men slept , the enemie came and sowed tares among the wheate : so the fittest time that the deuill can finde to worke vpon vs , is , when we aree idle , for that is the sleepe of the soule . In the 11. chapter , of the 2. Sam. wee reade , that that while Dauid tarried idely at home , in the beginning of the yeare , when Kings vsed to goe foorth to battell , hee was soone ouertaken with those two foule sinnes of adulterie , & man-slaughter . Oh that men sawe , to how many vices and euils they shutte the doore , when they cease to be idle , and giue themselues to honest labours , and a lawful calling . So long as Sampson ( Iudg. 19. ) warred with the Philistines , he could neuer be taken or ouercome , but after that , he gaue himselfe to idlenesse and pleasure : he not only committed fornication with the strumpet Dalilah , hut also was taken of his enimies , and had his eyes miserably put out . If those two which were such excellent men , indued of God with singular gifts , the one of prophecie , and the other of strength , and such as no labour or trouble could ouercome , were notwithstanding ouerthrowne , and fallen into greeuous sinnes , by yeelding for a short time to ease : then what crimes , what mischiefes and inconueniences , are not to be feared of them , who all their life long , giue themselues to idlenesse and loytering ? But such hath alwaies been the peruerse incredulity of mens hearts , that they wil not beleeue that other men haue perished , vntill they themselues perish also . If we be vtterly voyde of vnderstanding let vs go to the brute creatures , which want these helpes of reason & gouernment , that man hath , and learn of them : Go to the Pismire , ô sluggard ( saith Salomon . Pro. 6.6 . ) behold her waies , & be wise : for she hauing no guide , nor ruler , prepareth her meate in the summer , and gathereth her foode in the haruest . What is it that filleth the prisons , and bringeth so many to the gallowes , and causeth so many Parents to lament and bewaile the vntimely death of their children , but Idlenesse ? When the poore condemned wretches haue receiued their iudgement , and come to the place of execution , and stand on the ladder , what counsell giue they to young men , and to children , but to beware of idlenesse ? What is the cause of such , and so many diseases in the bodie ? Aske the Phisitians , & they wil tel you , Idlenesse ? Whereof rise rebellions in kingdomes against Princes ? Whereof rise mutinies , and mutterings in Citties against Magistrates ? You can giue no greater cause thereof , then Idlenesse . Christ our redeemer saith : Of euery idle word ( that is vaine and vnprofitable trifles , Math. 12.36 . which the most part of people spend their liues in ) that men shall speake , they shal giue account thereof at the day of iudgement . If we shall make an account for idle words , what shall we do for idle hands , for idle feet , for idle bodie , for idle soule ? What account for all our idlenesse , especially for wicked deeds , shall we make at the day of iudgement ? Seeing then that idlenesse is so noysome & hurtful , let all christian parents therefore labour and endeuour to auoyd it , both in themselues , and in their children , as a plague or contagious disease . Therefore it is most requisit & necessary , that Parents doe bring vp their children eyther in learning , to learne that science , which they be most apt for . Obiection . or in some occupation & handicraft , whereby they may get their liuing another day , and so liue the better . But some vnaduisedly , and foolishly doe reason , saying : What neede is it for noble and rich mens children to haue learning ? they shall haue ynough ? Wee answere , the greater the Ship is , and the more marchandise it carrieth about , the more need it hath of a cunning Ship-maister : so the greater the childe is , both by birth , and by inheritance , so much the more neede it is for him to be brought vp in learning , and in good literature . Pro. 3.13.24.15 . For learning , knowledge , and vnderstanding , is profitable both for rich and poore . So that ( as the Grecians say : ) Hee that is ignorant and vnlearned , seeth nothing , although hee haue eyes . The life of such a one is as a tree without fruite , a day without Sunne , a night without moone and starres , a house without a man , and a head without a bodie . It is found by experience , which the best schoolemaister , that vnto what occupation or science soeuer any young man shall be put to , the more skill and knowledge he hath in the liberal sciences , so much the more sooner shall hee learne his occupation , and the more readie , and handsomer shall he● bee about the same . And besides this , hee that hath learning , although it bee but small , shall much better vnderstand the Preachers , and take more profit by hearing of them , to his great and endlesse comfort , then hee that hath no learning . Experience also teacheth vs this , that goods , riches , beautie , glorie , and health , bee vnstable , and fade , perish , passe , away , come and goe : but learning and vertue neuer stagger , alway bee constant . Therefore of all the charges that Parents bee about their children , that mony is best bestowed , that is layed out vppon learning : especially when they are taught to know God aright , and how hee will be serued .

It is a lamentable thing , to consider how carelesse some Parents are of their children , when they put them to the schoole , in that they make no small account and reckoning to what schoolemaister they put their children to learn , so they may haue them taught for litle or no cost , though their children profit litle or nothing in learning , so that oftentimes they not onely bestowe their money in vaine , but also they suffer their children to loose their time , which is a thing so precious , as it cannot be redeemed with any mony : and so to let them spend two or three yeares in learning of that , which they might by the diligence and orderly teaching of a skilful schoolemaister , learne in lesse then half this time , if there be any aptnesse & towardnesse in their children . Therfore let parents remember , that as the goodnesse of the ground is not much profitable for corne , vnlesse there bee a meet husbandman , to till and sow the same : so likewise it is not ynough to finde good towardnesse in your children , vnlesse you prouide a meete & fit Schoolemaster to further the same . And as Noble-men , and Gentlemen , are desirous to haue a good and skilfull hors-keeper , that can keepe their horses wel & they spare not to giue stipends to such : euen so much more ought christian Parents be desirous , to haue and maintaine a good schoolemaster , that might bring vp their children in vertue , wisedome , and good learning . And like as , if their horse be not wel broken , or haue any euil quality , they wil be careful to see it remedied , and that he may be made tractable and gentle : so likewise godly parents , ought to be much more careful , not only that their children may by instruction be brought to some good order , but also to look that there be no fault in the teacher , to whom they commit the care , to bring them vp in learning & good manners .

Why some men bring not vp their children to any good perfection in learning . But alas , and with griefe be it spoken , many men now a daies , albeit they perceiue their children to be forward & apt vnto letters , and capable to receiue good learning , hauing wealth and riches ynough to maintaine them thereat , yet will they not suffer them to continue thereat , vntill they come to any good perfection : some because they themselues doe not like of our state and religion : other some , because they see little preferment , and no worldly aduantage to follow learning , but great trouble and affliction : all which men in this doing , declare themselues to be irreligious , vngodly , and destroyers both of themselues , their children , and of all Commonwealthes and Congregations . For what publike Wealth , Towne , Cittie , or Parish , can bee well gouerned , without the Prince , Magistrate , and Preacher , bee learned both in humaine , and diuine lawes ? In times past , when ignorance and superstition was accounted good deuotion , at which time men saw so many spiritual promotions ( as they then called them ) vnto rich Bishoppricks , Abbeyes , Priories , Deaneries , benefices , &c. then they would let for no cost to haue their children learned in some sorte to the end they might get them to be Priests , and so to say Masse , and the rest of that Idolatrous seruice , that so they might liue in ease aed idlenesse . But now they see how painefull and perilous a charge it is to preach , & rightly to diuide Gods word , and to deliuer the same freely , and faithfully , & also how vnthankfull an office and calling it is , to gouerne well a Congregation : that they had rather their children should be bound prentices to some trade , or else to follow any other profession , then that they should studie diuinitie .

When children were nothing apt to good learning , and when there was no good learning to be had , no nor good teachers , yet then , well was he that might set his childe to schoole . But now when youth was neuer so apt to good learning , as it is at this day : and learning and al good meanes neuer so plenteously florishing , beeing restored and reduced into such a facility , and a compendious cleare briefnesse : yea , neuer so good , learned , and skilfull Schoole maisters : neuer so plentie of so good and plaine bookes printed : neuer so good cheape : the holy Ghost mercifully offering his gifts , as it were into the mouthes of all men , and yet alas , but few there be , that wil open their mouthes to receiue them : their eyes to see so cleare light : nor yet their eares to heare , so pure , manifest & wholesome , and heauenly doctrine , euen the word of God , the meanes of their saluation . It is therefore to be feared , that for this our great vnthankfulnesse : these so manifolde heauenly blessings shal be taken from vs , and giuen to some other nation , that will both be more thankfull for them , and also shew forth better fruits of christianitie , then we hitherto haue done . Oh therfore , that parents would aduisedly consider , that for want of this christian dutie of the good education of their children , is the onely cause of great mischiefe and much misery , both vppon children and themselues : yea in truth , it is from hence , that so much sorrow , griefe , and shame , befalleth many times vpon fathers and mothers . And how commeth this to passe , that the Parents owne dung , is cast in their faces by their owne children , in mocking and despising of them ? and whence arise all these inconueniences before named , togither with all these grieuous plagues & iudgements of God vpon their children , to the consuming of their eyes , but from this their owne negligence , in bringing vp their children ? for it is euen iust with God , that seeing they haue offended him in the greatest blessings , they should bee plagued with the fame thing wherein they offended , with his greatest iudgements . O you vnnaturall parents ! the rich man in hell shall rise vp against you , Luke . 16.27 . in the day of iudgement , and condemne you : for he being in hell , had a care of his fathers house , that they might be forewarned : and therefore desired Abraham , to send Lazarus to his brethren , to testifie vnto them , that they came not into that place of torment : but you will not admonish your children , you will not teach them Moses and the Prophets : and you will not shew them the danger of Gods heauie displeasure , hanging ouer their heads and therefore your owne children shall be one of the furies in hell , to torment you . The Lord open your eyes , Pro. 22.6 . to foresee and she these fearefull iudgements . But if you will bring them vp well and vertuously , they shall be the better for it , all their liues after : nay , the world to come shall reape this benefit : for such children as you now bring vp , such parents shal they be after you when you are gone : and looke what parents you leaue behind you , the like children again shal they reare vp . Wherfore , O you parents , you are either the making , or the marring of the world : for if your children learne no good erudition at your hands , how should they be good fathers after you ? and how should they leaue that to their posteritie , by the right of inheritance , which they neuer receiued from their ancestors ? To conclude this poynt ( we say ) once againe : Oh ye parents endeuour to goe forward in this vertuous education of your children , and then God ( no doubt ) shal , nor will hide no necessarie secret or instruction from you , neither will hee withhold any good blessing from your posteritie : so shall ye be fathers of the faithfull as Abraham was , if you will haue the same care , and practise the same diligence for your children and familie , that he did Gen. 18.17.18 . and 12.2.3 .

Disheriting of the eldest son , is a thing very vnlawfull . 2. Chro. 21.3 . 1. King . 21.3 . Le●it . 25.23 . Num. 27.3 . &c Parents also haue to remember , that they shall commit an act very vnnaturall , iniurious , and vngodly if they should vndeseruedly disinherit their eldest sonne . For as nature in all her workes ▪ for the most part , seemeth to make some one thing to bee chiefe before all the rest , whereby the same is and the rather continueth : so reason in the order of a familie , which is an imitation of a state ciuill , or bodie politike , perswadeth of experience and necessitie , that there be one before the rest as chiefe . Whereby may be conserued , that beauty of vnitie , and harmonie of concord , which the Almightie in his creation so wonderfully and diuersly teacheth , and our Sauiour himselfe , so carefully and especially commended to his Church . And thereof seemeth to come that preheminence or more speciall regarde , Exod. 13.1 , 2. and 34.19 , 20. Leuit. 27.26 . Num. 3.13 . & 18.16 . which the law of God in the olde Testament appointed to his people the Israelites , to be obserued towards the first begotten sonne , and likewise somewhat concerning other dumbe creatures , which first were brought forth into the world . By the ancient law of the Iewes , the eldest had double so much as the others of the fathers goods , and alone to the eldest pertained the blessing of the father , wherewith should seeme alwaies the heritage to goe and succeede : as is manifest by the wil of God , in Deuter. 31.15 , 16 , 17. If a man haue two wiues , one loued , and another hated , and they haue borne him children , both the loued , and also the hated : if the first borne be the sonne of the hated , then when the time commeth , that hee appointeth his sonnes to bee heires of that which hee hath , hee may not make the sonne of the beloued first borne , before the sonne of the hated , which is the first borne : but he shall acknowledge the sonne of the hated , which is the first borne , and giue him double portion of all that hee hath : for hee is the first of his strength , and to him belongeth the right of the first borne . The Patriarkes , and others the seruants of God , although by diuine reuelation and other notice of the will of God , they were certified that they might marrie many or sundrie wiues at one time , yet did they exclude from their heritage and prerogatiue of the blessing , all the children of those secondarie and after mariages . This appeareth in Gen. 21.10 . The sonne of the bond woman shall not be heire with my sonne Isaack : yet was hee the eldest , but was not the sonne of the first mariage . Also an heire , is the work and institution of nature , and heritage is due to the sonne by nature , therefore it is so due that hee must needs haue it : seeing those things which come by nature , or be natural , are not mutable or to bee changed . Moreouer this name Heire , which in maner with all Nations is the eldest , he is the successor of the law Nationall , besides the lawes natural and diuine . And that father , who maketh another heire then is by these authorities appointed , cannot but expresse himselfe a rebell , in disobeying and contemning so great lawes and authorities , beginning a new law of his owne head contrary thereunto . Then what is more vniust , then to doe contrary to all lawes , and therwith to disobey the will of God , to peruert the due order of discent , preferring the second mariage before the first , the yonger before the elder , the late offpring before the first begotten , so much tendred and respected ? Now as the greatest iniurie a father can do to his son , is to disherit him : so is it the most reproachfull blot or dammage , to suffer the infamie and discredit of disherison . For if the eldest sonne be worthie to be disherited in his fathers house , he may be thought not worthie to draw breath out of it : for that hee ought to bee conuinced faultie in those crimes and hainous offences , which bee either repugnant to the dutie of a child , or not meete for the profession of a Christian : namely , if hee strike or offer violence to his father : Deut. 21.18 . &c. if he oppresseth him with some great wrong : if he seeke his death or destruction , by poysoning , or otherwise : if hee lie with his fathers wife : Gen. 35.22 . & 49. ● . 4 . 1. Chro. 5.1 . if he wil not suffer his father to make his will : if he be not of the true and Catholike faith , but is conuinced to be an heretike , wherby his life and heritage is in hazard . Or if he refuse to succour and deliuer his father out of prison , by his suertiship : or if he follow the trade and companie of such persons , as in the law be counted infamous , vile and most dishonest : as Iuglers . Sorcerers , Coniurers , Theeues , and Pirats . Or if he be an idiot , a mad man a natural , or lunatike person . Or if the father offering him a meet mariage , vnder 25. yeres , he refuseth it , & delighteth to liue continually in whoredom , and filthy order of life : these & such like , be the causes that the ciuil or Ecclesiastical lawes do assigne .

The dutie of Children towards their parents .

THis dutie of children , as it may bee gathered out of the holie Scriptures , consisteth in fiue points .

1. First , that they a a Ephes. 6.1 , 2 , 3. Col. 3.20 . Pro. 8. and 4.1 . and 23.22 . obey their parents , and do serue them , and also do b b Leuit. 10.3 . N●m. 12.14 . feare , loue honour , and reuerence them , not onely in word and deed ▪ but in their harts & minds also .

2. Secondly , that they follow their good precepts and examples of life .

3. Thirdly , that they patiently take c c Pro. 15.5.32 . correction at their hands .

4. Fourthly , that they make continuall and heartie prayers to God for them .

1. Tim. 5.4 . Matth. 15.4 , 5 , 6. Genes. 47.12 . 5. And lastly , that they do relieue , maintaine and nourish their parents , in case they shall fall into pouertie or decay .

The summe and effect of all which , is as followeth .

Fathers and Mothers are to their children in Gods stead . Exod. 20.12 . Deut. 5.13 . By honour , is meantal kinde of duty , which children owe to their Parents . As the Lord our God hath made and created children through their parents : so hath he cast and made them subiect vnder the power and authoritie of their parents , to obey and serue them in his stead , saying : Honour thy father and mother : wh●ch honour consisteth not in bowing the knee , or putting off the cap , or giuing to their parents the vpper hand onely : but that they must loue them with all their hearts , feare and dread them , and that they cheerefully doe their commandements , will and pleasure , and that they seeke their worship , credit profit and preferment in all things lawfull , and if need require , that they should giue their liues for them : remembring that they are their parents goods and possessions , and they owe to them euen their owne selues , and al that they are able to doe , yea , and more then they are able .

By this word Honor , is also signified the loue , reuerence , dutie , obedience , subiection , entertainment , and necessarie assistance that children owe to their parents . As concerning the loue , the summarie of the second Table , comprehended in these words : Thou shalt loue thy neighbour as thy selfe , doth manifestly confirme it . Matth. 22.39 . For who can be a neerer neighbour for the children to loue , then their parents ?

Besides that , they are not to bee loued onely as neighbours proceeding of Adam and Eue , but also as fathers and mothers . And therefore what ingratitude is it , not to loue those of whom , next after God , they haue their life and being , together with many great and continual benefits towards them ? Also the loue that parents doe beare to their children , besides so many their labours , sorowes , troubles , and vexations , should binde them reciprocally to loue them . The Sunne shining a while vpon the cold stones doth so heare them , thay they yeeld some warmth : so albeit that children bee as hard and colde as stones , yet the experience , and the daily feeling of the loue of their parents towards them , ought mightily to inflame their hearts to loue them againe . Take away the beame from the Sunne , and it will not shine ; the springs from the riuer , and it will drie vp ; the bough from the tree , and it will wither ; the member from the body , and it will rot . And so take from children their dutie to their parents , and they are no longer children , but brethren and companions with those vnto whom Iesus Christ said : Ye are the children of the diuell . Ioh. 8.44 .

This band of the loue of children towards their parents , should take such place , not onely toward such parents as are louing and gentle , but also ( as Saint Peter saith of the duties of seruants to their masters ) euen toward such as bee rigorous . For if we ought to loue all the children of Adam , euen those whom wee know not , or our enemies and persecutors : how much rather our parents , albeit they shuld intreate vs roughly and with rigour , either in word or deede ? and verily the principal cause stil abideth : namely , that they be our father and mother . This ought children well to note , to the end that patiently bearing their reprehensions , reproofes , and in generall , whatsoeuer their troublesome and sharpe affections , they may still continue and declare their childlike affection and loue . And to that purpose children must remember the labour , griefe , anguish , weeping , sorow , and other troublesome cares , that their parents do abide and indure for them .

This loue must bee accompanied with reuerence and respect : & to say the truth , Matth. 23.9 . albeit the name of father belongeth properly vnto God , as Iesus Christ saith : You haue but one father , euen him that is in heauen . Yet doth he so impart it to those that haue begotten vs , that they being called fathers , do beare the title & image of God . And this is it that bindeth children to respect and honour them , and to testifie the same by their outward reuerence . Of this reuerence we haue a notable example in Salomon : hee vnderstanding that his mother Berthsheba was comming to speake with him , 1. King . 2.19 . arose from his seate , came to meete her , bowed before her , and set her vpon his right hand . Neither could his greatnes , neither his royall estate priuiledge him from this respect & honour due to his mother . But when the sonne doth execute his magistracie , or publike office , he is greater then his father , and must beare himselfe as a Magistrate , not as a sonne : but when hee is out of place , or execution of office , he must ( how highly soeuer he be aduanced ) haue a respect , and yeeld reuerence to his parents . But many times it falleth out otherwise : for many children when they come to honour , or wealth , do despise their parents , if they bee of meaner calling then themselues , that hardly they will acknowledge , or call them father , as if they were ashamed of them . So that that man putteth off the affection of a childe to his father , who by the eminencie of an office ouer him , quencheth the name of a son . But Salomon forgat not himselfe in this kind of dutie , for he did not onely bow before his mother , as is aforesaid , but also called her mother : saying , 1. King . 2.10 . Mother , aske , and J will not denie thee . And this doe we the rather note also vpon another consideration , namely , that his example condemneth the custome of these daies , wherein this name of father and mother is accounted so base & contemptible , that the children of kings , princes , yea euen of mean gentlemen , speaking to their parents , must not say , father , mother : but Sir , my Lord , my Ladie , Madam , &c.

But the due honour to parents that we here speake of , implieth not onely this outward reuerence , but also that wee should so esteeme of them , as that neither our selues should despise them , neither should wee suffer others to haue them in contempt . And this are wee to vnderstand in the saying of Iesus Christ : Iohn 8.49 . I honour my father , but you dishonor me . He there defendeth the honour of his father , against the false opinions and slanders of the Iewes . But some there are so vnnaturall and peruerse , that forgetting all due reuerence and respect to their parents , they will not onely despise them in their owne hearts , and suffer others to speake hardly of them : but also will themselues so farre exceede , as euen to lay them open to the scorne of others .

Ham the sonne of Noah , seeing his father lie vncouered , Gen. 9.22 . called his brethren to shew them his father● shame . But so odious was this impietie in the sight of God , that Noah by the conduct and direction of the holy Ghost , cursed both him and all his posteritie . And therefore we well and truly may say , that those children , who in stead of defending the honour of their parents , doe lay them open to shame and reproofe , and come of the cursed seed of Ham.

This dutie of honoring parents , The honour due to parents . is performed and paied , when they doe worshipfully and reuerently esteeme of them , as to thinke that ●hey are giuen to them of God , Childrens duty is from their beginning to their ending , to be subiect , obedient and helpfull to their Parents . to the end that they should reuerence , loue , and alwaies haue a care of them , if for nothing els , yet for the Lord sake , who is , and doth thinke himselfe despised , so long as children contemne their parents , and either think or little regard them . So then children honour their parents when with their help and counsell , they ayde them in their olde age , and vnweildie crookednesse , when they ease and helpe them in the time of their neede , Matth. 15.4 , 5 , 6 , or succour them otherwise in any case else , and do wholly bestow themselues , and all that they haue , Exod. 21.15.17 Leuit. 20.9 . Pro. 20.20 . and 30.17 . Deut. 27.16 . to do them good withall : yea , they ought not to giue them a rough or stubborne answer , or once so much as to mumble or mutter an answere against their parents , neither to smite or curse , or speake euill of their father and mother : vnlesse they will procure the vengeance of God to light vpon them for the same .

What children do to their parents , they doe to God , so that they may not purloyne or diminish any of their substance . Pro. 28.24 . Children haue alwaies to remember , that whatsoeuer they doe to their fathers and mothers ( bee it good or euill ) they doe it to God : when they please them , they please God : and when they disobey them , they disobey God : when their parents are iustly angrie with them , God is angrie with them : neither can it be , that they may come to haue the fauour of God againe : ( no although all the Saints in heauen should intreat for them ) vntill they haue submitted themselues to their father and mother .

If children and seruants would alwaies keep in minde this saying ; so to doe and behaue themselues to their parents , Matth. 7.12 . masters , & dames , as they would haue their children and seruants to doe , and behaue themselues to them , when God shall vouchsafe to make them parents , masters , or dames ; then no doubt they would obey and reuerence their parents , masters , and dames , more dutifully and faithfully then now they doe . Matth. 7.2 . Luke . 6.3.8 . For let them assure themselues , that such measure as they now meat to their parents , masters , and dames , such will bee measured to them againe , by their children and seruants .

Also children must bee carefull to follow the good examples of their fathers & mothers , and to suffer themselues to bee gouerned by them , and to bee mindfull to bestow all paine and diligence to discharge their dutie towards them : and herewithall they must know , that they are not at their owne libertie to doe as they list , so long as they haue a father and mother to rule them : and not to fall out among themselues , Psal. 133.1 . but mutually to loue and helpe one another .

And yet children haue alwaies to remember , that they may not in any case obey their parents , when they shall commaund them to doe or say any thing that is contrarie to the word of God . And yet they are to bee thought well of : For example , Ionathan , who with others , obeyed not his father Sauls commaundement , 1. Sam. 20.28 . &c. & 22.17 . Dan. 3.18 . Acts 4.19 . who charged him to persecute Dauid : & therfore hee is worthily commended in the holie Scriptures . For the duties of the first table , are alwaies to be preferred before the duties of the second table . This subiection therefore that children owe vnto their fathers , ought in verie deede to bee vnto them as a ladder , or staier , Matth. 23.9 . to leade them to the reuerence and obedience of God , who is our chiefe father .

As children receiue of their parents three things : to wit , life , maintenance , & instruction : so for these three they owe other three , namely , for life , they owe loue : for maintenance , they owe obedience : for instruction , they owe reuerence . For their life , they must feruently loue their parents : for their maintenance , they must dutifully obey their parents , as masters : and for their instruction , they must cheerefully reuerence their parents as their Tutors .

And further , children must remember , that the Lord hath giuen to them their parents , to take of them their beginning of life , and that they might nourish and bring them vp : and of rude , and almost brutish things , they might make them able to helpe & liue of themselues : yea , and such mothers as are godly and vertuous , doe suffer and endure more paine & griefe in the bearing , bringing vp , and nourishing of their children , then the fathers do . So that greater are the pleasures and good turnes , that christian parents do for their children , greater is the cost and labour that they bestow on them , and greater is the care , griefe , and trouble , which they take for them , then any man , how learned so euer he be , is able to expresse . And therefore if there were no other reasons or causes to moue children greatly to loue , to esteeme well , to obey , to be kinde , faithfull , and dutifull , and to reuerence their parents , and that with such a reuerence as commeth from the hart : yet these were sufficient .

Maides and young women are to be put in minde , and alwaies to remember , that the best portion , the greatest inheritance , and the most precious iewell that they can bring them on their mariage day , is Shamefastnesse : the want whereof is most hurtfull in all women . And therefore they must carefully shunne and auoide all idle and wanton talke , nice lookes , dalliance , and light countenance , when they walke abroad , or bee in companie . A man needeth many things : as wisedome , eloquence , knowledge of things , remembrance , skill in some trade , or craft to liue by , iustice , courage , and other things and qualities moe , which were too long to rehearse : and though some of these be lacking , yet he is not to be disliked , so that he haue many of them . But in a maide , no man will looke for eloquence , great wit , ordering of the Common-wealth , prudence , &c. Finally , no man wil looke for any other thing of a woman , When a woman loseth her honestie , then hath she lost her chiefe treasure . but her Honestie : the which onely if it be lacking , she is like a man that wanteth all that hee should haue . For in a maide , the honestie and chastitie is in stead of all . She verily may trulie be said to bee an euill keeper , that cannot keepe one thing well committed to her keeping , and put in trust to her , with much commendation of words : and especially which no man will take from her against her will , nor touch it except she be willing her selfe . The which thing onely , if a woman remember , it will cause her to take great heed vnto , & to be a more warie & carefull keeper of her honestie , which alone being lost , though all other things be neuer so wel and safe , yet they perish togither therewith because shee that hath once lost her Honestie , should thinke there is nothing lost . Take from a maid or woman her beautie , take from her , kindred , riches , comelinesse , eloquence , sharpnesse of wit , cunning in her craft : giue her Chastitie , and you haue giuen her all things . And on the other side , giue her all these thinges , and call her whoore or naughtie packe : with that one word you haue taken all from her , and left her bare and foule . How precious a iewell Chastitie is , may easily bee gathered from the example of Dinah the daugther of Leah , Gen. 34.1.2 . which shee bare vnto Iacob , who when hee heard that shee was rauished and defiled by Sechem , the sonne of Hamos the Hiuite , Lord of that Countrie , his mind was grieuously wounded with this great shame and reproath . Children may not marrie without the consent and agreement of their Parents : so that an vnlawfull promise made by the childe , may lawfully be broken .

Children may not forget this dutie , who hauing receyued their being from their parents , and being brought vp by them , with great paines & much cost , they should not therefore so much as giue any liking , much lesse speech of marrige , without the consent of parents , or of those which are set ouer them by their parents : the dutie of thankfulnesse requiring it at their hands , and not onely in regard of thankfulnesse , is this dutie to bee performed to their parents , but euen in regard of their owne inabilitie , as being not experienced in such things , and their wits being not so ripe as their parents , they wanting wisedome and discretion to behaue themselues as they ought . For some children know not what are meet and conuenient for them , nor whether they be of meet age and condition to marrie . Which inabilitie being in the sonnes , is much more in the daughters , as being the weaker by nature , and more vnable to prouide for themselues , and therefore it is necessarie , that they should not marrie without the consent and direction of their parents , but to be at their bestowing : for , to doe otherwise is a sinne , euen that nature it selfe abhorreth : and all sound Writers , old and new , doe vtterly disallow . It is a sweet wedding , when the father and the mother bring a blessing to the feast : and a heauie vnion , which is cursed the first day that it is knit . And for so much as marriage being the meanes , the which God himselfe hath ordained , and sanctified for the propagation and increase of mankind , that being taken in hand in his feare , a godly seed being multiplied & growen vp here on earth , the same may be blessed to the constitution and making of a Church , the which may serue him in holinesse and righteousnes : when the same is taken in hand , with the breach of his commandement , so far off is it , that any blessing is to be hoped for , that contrariwise , his hot indignation , wrath and heauy curse hangeth ouer that house & familie , where the parties , which are the principall pillers and vpholders of the same , are linked and tyed togither in such a band of wedlocke , whose links and inclosings , are not fastned & coupled togither with the necessary & lawful assent & liking of the parents , whose authoritie and consent ; ought to beare the chiefest sway , and strike likewise the greatest stroke , in this most holy and heauenly action . And likewise as marriage , that is begunne and enterprised in the feare of God , according to his word , there God is well pleased , there the parties so matched , liue togither in a ioyfull agreement , and linking the one to the other : there God is honoured , and serued in sinceritie and trueth : there the children , when God giueth them , with the rest of the familie , are instructed and brought vp in knowledge of religion , and grounds of faith : so on the other side , the regard of that which God especially commandeth , being shut out of our marriages , there must needs ensue his dislike , and displeasure : there is iarre and discord : there Gods honour is neglected : there household discipline and christian instruction of such as belong vnto our charge , goeth vtterly to wracke , and is nothing at all regarded . And no maruel : for , if where God blesseth , all things goe well , and doe prosper : then consequently , where hee curseth , there nothing thriueth , hath good successe , or goeth happily forward . It may appeare by sundry examples , both before the Law was giuen , and after , that this is a dutie required of children towards their parents : namely , to haue their consent in contracting of marriage . As these places doe plainely shew : 1. Sam. 18.17 . Gen. 21.21 . and 24.3 . &c. and 21.1.2 . and 29.19 . and 34.4 . Deut. 7.3.4 . Iudg. 14.1 . &c. 1. Cor. 7.36.38 . Whereby is manifestly proued , that first it is against the law of nature . Secondly , for that the parents haue authoritie ouer their children , Exod. 21.2 . Leuit. 25.39 . Deut. 15.12 . more then they haue ouer their seruants . Thirdly , because children are their fathers goods & riches , and therefore they must not bestow themselues in marriage , but must be bestowed of their parents . Fourthly , for that parents haue authoritie ouer the vowes of their children , Numb. 30.4 . 5 , 6. Fiftly , if a mans daughter be inticed ; Contracts voyd , without the consent of parents . yet her father may refuse , being not auaileable , or of any force , without his consent . Exod. 22.16.17 . Besides all this , what cleerer proofe can we haue , then the fift commandement , in the which children are commanded to honor their fathers and mothers , with a blessing promised to those which performe the same : whereby we gather by the nature of contraries , that there is a curse also belonging to all those children , that shall dishonour them . And in that God willeth that the parents by their children should be honoured , he meaneth , that they should in all humilitie and modestie reuerence them , with all dutifull submission be obedient vnto them , and with all willingnesse , shew themselues thankefull for their creation , education , sustentation , and all other benefits , that vnder God they haue receiued from them , being readie by all meanes they possibly may , to imitate and expresse towards them the nature of the Storke , whose propertie ( as they write of them ) is to prouide meat & feed their dams , when through age they grow so old , that they are not able for to helpe themselues : that is to say , they must to their very vtmost seeke to make them recompence and requitall , of some part of those vnrequitable paines , the which their louing parents haue taken with them , and make some amends for the vncounteruailable kindnes that they haue shewed towards them . But where they bestow themselues in marriage , without the consent of their parents , there they do fault , and make a breach of dutie , in all these three respects : that is to say , they neither reuerence , obey , nor shew themselues thankful vnto them . For reuerence consisteth in this , that children carrie towards their parents , a certaine honest , and modest shamefastnes , ioyned with a bashfull awefulnes & standing in feare of them , the which worketh in them , a conceiuing of such an opinion and estimation of them , as that they haue an especial respect and regard of them , in doing or not doing of things , neither of a care to please them , or of a feare to offend them . Obedience herein sheweth forth it selfe , in that willingly without murmuring or grudging , they be willing to be ordered , directed , guided and ruled , by their parents , being ready to doe all lawfull things , the which they commaund them , and to refraine from all those things , the which they shall forbid them . Thankfulnesse , besides that there are many other branches , is alwayes mindful of benefits receiued , & therefore carrieth continually a vigilant and watchfull eye towards the partie by whom it hath bin pleasured , that no discourtesie in any case be offered , or any occasion ministred , whereby hee may conceiue vnkindnes . And by this familiar discription of these three heads , wherof standeth chiefely , the honor due vnto parents : we may cleerely see , that those children which in wedding tarrie not for the consent of their fathers and mothers , doe neither stand in any awfull feare of them , as also whom they would be loth to offend or displease , nor yet giue ouer themselues in all things to be gouerned and aduised by them , or haue any regard , that they bee not causers to make their friends or parents conceiue hardly and vnkindly of them , when as it is more then manifest , that in matters concerning their dutie towards their parents , no griefe cutteth neerer vnto the heart , then this , when their children entangle themselues contrary to their mind and liking . And therefore such children , as match in this sort , as it were in spight of the teeth of their fathers & mothers , are neither reuerent , obedient , nor thankful vnto them , and so consequently , they doe not honour them , whereby they incurre and runne into the curse of God , the which must without true and vnfained repentance , pull downe vpon the heads of themselues and their families , the fearefull plagues of God his heauy and hot indignation against them , to their vtter subuersion , decay and ruine . Let all dutifull and good natured children , therefore in the reuerence and feare of God , consider , what honor , and obedience they doe owe vnto their parents , and what power and authoritie hee hath in his word sanctified vnto them , ouer their children in the Lord : in regard hereof , let them yeeld vnto them this dutie , that their fathers hauing prouided for them , Children mariageable , are to pray vnto God to direct their parents in a godly choise , to incline their minds to accept of the same . such as are not of a wicked life , nor deformed , or euil fauoured , nor of a contrary religion , they willingly submit themselues vnto their choise , which if for the present , or vpon the suddaine , they cannot yeeld vnto , let them by earnest calling vpon the name of God , not onely desire him to direct their parents in a godly and fit choise , but also to subdue in them this corrupt affection , and to frame their wils to bee pliable vnto their fathers in such lawfull cases . As the Lord our God in his iustice , doth iustly punish disobedient children : as may appeare by the example of Ham , Gen. 9.22 . the younger sonne of Noah , who derided his father , and was iustly punished for it . 2. Sam. 15.1 . &c. & 18.9 . Likewise Absolon , who vsed wicked practises , to get the kingdome from Dauid his father , but he for this his rebellion and disobedience , came to a most miserable end : yea , and he hath in his law , set downe a most seuere and sharpe punishment against disobedient children : where he saith : If any man haue a sonne , Deut. 21.18.19.20.21 . that is stubborne and disobedient , which wil not hearken vnto the voice of his father & the voice of his mother , & they haue chastened him , and he would not obey them , then shall his father and his mother take him , & bring him out vnto the Elders of his citie , and vnto the gate of the place where he dwelleth , and shall say vnto the Elders of his citie : This our sonne is stubborne and disobedient , and he will not obey our admonition : he is a ryot our and a drunkard : Then all the men of his Citie shall stone him with stones vnto death so thou shalt take away euill from among you , that all Israel may heare it , & feare . For euen as a long & a prosperous life , is promised vnto obedient children : so on the other side , Exod. 20.12 . Ephes. 6.2 . al disobedient , vnthankful , & obstinate children , are assured of the punishment of infamy , ioyned with diuers & great calamities & torments . 1. San. 2.22 . 1. Kin 1.25 . &c. Deu. 21.18 . &c. Pro. 20.20 . & . 30.17 . Deut. 28.15 . &c. Leuit. 26.14 . &c. And although that the temporal officers , be negligent in punishing such disobedience : yet shal they not escape vnpunished . For the vengeance of God shal accompany them , vntil they be vtterly destroied . For there is nothing more vnnatural , than to see children dishonor & disobey their parents : and inferiors their superiors .

Such may aptly be compared to the Viper , that gnaweth out the belly of her Dam , & seeketh her own life , with her Dams death : so contrariwise , the word of God doth highly commend Ioseph for his great loue , benificence , and obedience , Gen. 46.29 . &c. and 48.11.12 . Luke . 2.5 . extended towards his father Iacob , and his brethren , who both helped and liberally nourished them , and prayed for them . Our Sauiour Christ also was obedient to his parents , euen vntill death . Deut. 5.16 . So that the Lord ( no doubt ) will blesse obedient children with many happy dayes and yeeres , to his glory , and their soules comfort .

And to the end to inuite and stirre vp children , to honour their parents , as before is shewed : Exod. 20.12 . Ephes. 6.2 . the Lord addeth this promise : That thy dayes may bee long in the land which the Lord thy God giueth thee . And as S. Paul doth note , that it is the first commandement with promise . For albeit there bee a promise added to the second , yet is the same common vnto the whole law : but this is peculiar and especiall , to all such children as honour their parents : for herein hath God declared how highly he commendeth the obedience and honour that children yeeld to them . But the Lord spake to the Israelites properly of the land , that he had promised them for an inheritance , which should be vnto them as a testimonie and seale of his goodnes and loue toward them . It is therefore as if he should haue said : To the end , that liuing vpon the earth , thou mayest long enioy the earnest penny of my goodnes and grace toward thee . But now seeing the whole earth is blessed to the faithfull , the promise of long life vpon the earth , is vnto vs also a blessing of God . First , because wee can not liue long , without participating in many and great benefits of God , euen in respect of the preseruation of this present life . Secondly , because the faithfull may the longer employ themselues to serue and glorifie God . In consideration whereof , we see what the Church in old time said : The dead praise not the Lord , Psa. 115.17.18 neither any that goe downe into the place of silence : But we will prayse the Lord from henceforth , and for euer . The same doth Hezechia King of Iudah also note in his canticle : Esay . 38.19 . The liuing , the liuing , he shall confesse thee , as I doe this day : The father to the children , shall declare thy trueth . In as much therefore , as long life is promised as a blessing , God doth continue is to obedient children , so long as it is a blessing vnto them . And hereupon doth S. Paul ioyne togither these two sentences : That it may goe well with thee , Ephe. 6.5 . and that thou mayest liue long vpon the earth . As also when God taketh away such obedient children before they be old : yea , before they come vnto mans state , whether it be , least malice should corrupt their hearts , or to preuent some great calamities , wherein they might peraduenture be entangled : or vpon whatsoeuer other considerations , to receiue them into a better life , he doth faithfully performe his promise vnto such children , because he dealeth better then promise with them . But as contrariwise , this promise threatneth such children as will not honor their parents , with short life : so doth experience declare , that many such children are of short and wretched life . But if contrariwise , such disobedient children doe chance to liue long , so far is long life from being vnto them a blessing , that to the contrary , it is an enforcement and increase of woe , because they enlarge their iust condemnation , so as they had beene better to haue died in their youth . But howsoeuer it bee , God so disposeth hereof , that by the effects we may perceiue , that they which honor their parents are blessed , and the others accursed . Eccle. 3.2 &c. And although some parents do not performe those duties towards their children , inioyned them from the Lord : yet such children as liue wickedly , must know , that they are not exempt and free from blame , & guiltines before God . For though they can say , ( as the children in Ezechiels time said : ) The fathers haue eaten sowre grapes , and the childrens teeth are set on edge : we say , that though the occasion be offered of such vngodly and wicked parents , yet the cause of destruction is still in the children themselues . And besides that , it is sure , that the soule that hath sinned , shall die the death . Seeing there be some yong men & maids , who notwithstanding the great prophanenesse of the most , the manifold corruptions offered abroad , the vngodly examples abounding at home , are so mightily preserued by the seed of grace , that they escape safely in an holy course of life , lamenting when they see the least occasion of euill , reioycing in the least occasion of good things . The rest , who please themselues , and hope to shelter their sins vnder their parents defaults , are plainely left without excuse , & are iustly guiltie of the blood of their owne sinnes . Labour therefore ye yong men and maidens , to wipe away the teares of griefe from your fathers eies , & stay the mournfull & sorrowful spirits of your tender mothers , and consider in your selues , if yee haue any nature in you , & haue not buried the vse of common reason , what a shame it is , to be a shame vnto your fathers , to whom ye ought to be a glory : thinke , ye wanton wits , that haue not cast off all naturall affections , what a contempt it is , to be a contempt vnto your mothers , to whom you haue offered , as it were , a despightfull violence , in that yee are a corrosiue to her griefe , when as ye should haue bin a crowne vnto her comforts . Learne therefore ye children , that it is one special propertie of a liberal & ingenious nature , to bee careful so to liue , that in time yee may be a glory to your fathers , & a ioy to your mothers : which the Lord for his Christs sake grant . These precepts & admonitions before said , are as a Summarie of the duties of children to their parents . And therefore it resteth , that they vnderstanding them , doe pray vnto God to giue them grace , to put them in practise to his glory , and their good and saluation . Lastly , let them remember , that God is not more inclined to heare any prayers , then such as parents doe powre forth for their children . As they are therefore to feare their curse , for offending them : so must they by honouring and pleasing them , seeke to bee blessed in their prayers , which are blessings ratified vnto them in heauen , as the blessing of Isaac to his sonne Jacob , doe manifestly declare . Genes. 27.28.29 .

What duties Masters and Mistresses owe to their seruants .

The householder is called Pater familias : that is , a father of a familie , because hee should haue a fatherly care ouer his seruants , as if they were his children . THis dutie teacheth them , that they are become in stead of parents vnto their seruants , which dutie consisteth in foure points .

1. First , that they refraine and keepe their seruants from idlenesse .

2. Secondly , that by diligent instruction , and good example , they bring vp their seruants and housholds , in honestie & comely manners , and in all vertue .

3. Thirdly , that they ought to instruct their apprentices and seruants , in the knowledge of their occupations and trades : euen as parents would teach their owne children , without all guile , fraud , delaying , or concealing .

And lastly , when correction is necessary , Masters and Dames ought moderately to vse their authoritie ouer their seruants . Ephes. 6.9 . that then they giue it them with such discretion , pitie , and desire of their amendment , as louing parents vse to deale with their deare children , remembring alway , that they haue a master in heauen , before whom they must make an account for their doings . These foure points are in effect spoken of before in the dutie of parents . For so much as masters and householders , are to their seruants and prentices in place of fathers , they are hereby admonished , that they ought not to withhold and keepe backe their due wages , to exact of them , to oppresse them , or to reward their wel doing , Iam. 5.4 . Col. 4.1 . Iob. 31.13.14.15 . Deut. 24.14.15 . & good deseruing slenderly : but to be careful of their seruants good estate , as of their own , not only in prouiding for them wholesome meat , drinke & lodging , and otherwise to helpe them , comfort them , and relieue and cherish them , as wel in sicknesse , as in health , Mat. 8.5.6 . Luke 7.2 . liberally to reward their good deseruings , as farre as christianitie , liberalitie , and equalitie shall bind them : but also that they bee carefull that they liue honestly , God made euery weeke one day of rest , wherein seruants shuld be as free as their masters . Gen. 2.2 . vertuously and christianly . And further , they may not grieue their seruants with ouermuch labour , but alwayes remember , that they are not beasts , but men : so that they ought quietly to gouerne them , and also quietly to chide them , when they shall neglect their dutie , least they bee prouoked with ouer hard words , remembring that they also haue a Lord & master in heauen , with whom there is no respect of persons : As the laborer which worketh but one day , is worthie his hire , euen so much more the seruant which laboreth euery day . Luke 10.7 . As Dauid did limit Ioab that he should not kill Absolon , so God hath bound masters , that they should not oppresse their seruants . 2. Sam. 18.5 . Iob. 31.13.14.15 . For a good man , saith Salomon : Pro. 12.10 . will be mercifull to his beast , and therefore he ought to be more merciful to his seruants , being his brethren . Ephe. 6.9 . And let them bountifully reward the iust and faithful labor of their seruants , & pay them their couenants in a fit & conuenient time , least being compelled by necessitie , they should steale .

Masters ought not as Tyrants , to vse their seruants as their Horses or Asses : but to deale with them louingly & christianly , because they are all members of one bodie , whereof Christ Iesus is the head . There be some masters , that vse their seruants and prentices more like beasts then like men , & their own members , for which their so doing , let them assure themselues , they must yeeld to God their Master a straight account Oh that christian masters and mistresses would learne , and so practise the example of Iobs good & vpright dealing with his seruants , which was far from rigor , where he saith : Jf I did contemne the iudgement of my seruant , and of my maid , when they did contend with mee , ( that is , when they thought themselues euill intreated by me , ) What then shall J do , when God standeth vp ? ( If I had oppressed others , how should I haue escaped Gods iudgement ? ) and when he shall visit me , what shall J answere ? He that hath made me in the wombe , hath hee not made him ? ( which moued him to shew pitie and fauour vnto his seruants , because they were Gods creatures , as he was : ) hath not hee alone fashioned vs in the wombe ? Hereby then may those masters & dames see their wickednesses , who wil not heare their seruants speake , but vpon a simple surmise and brainsicknes , doe euill intreat them by cruell stripes , when in trueth there is no iust cause . Reuiling words and vnreasonable fiercenesse doth much more hurt to seruants , then good . Phil. 16.17 . Masters and Mistresses ought therefore to vse their seruants and prentices with mildnesse and equity , as euery one shal deserue , for they must remember , that they haue all one God to honour & worship , one Prince to serue , one law to keepe , and one land to inhabit , and one death to feare : and therefore they must speake vnto them , as vnto brethren , and sisters , and deale with them , as with christians . And let them alwayes remember this , namely , that God will neuer deale mercifully with them , if they make not greater account , that their seruants doe serue him more carefully , then them●elues , and sanctifie his Sabboths . Exod. 20.10 . Deut. ● . 14 . And therefore that master is not worthie to bee serued , which can not afford , that his seruants should serue God , as well as himselfe . Hee must giue vnto God , that which is Gods , and then hee may the better take that wihch is his owne . For , 1. Tim. 5.8 . Hee that careth not for his familie ( saith Paul ) is worse then an Infidell : because Infidels care for their familie .

As it is the office of a good householder to carrie the burthen of care , trauell and labour : so it is the dutie of his wife , to bee faithfull in keeping and well ordering of his goods , house , and to see his , her owne , & their childrens best apparel brusht , & handsomely laid vp , to be patient , and carefull to see her husband doe well : and both their duties , is effectually to giue good examples , to be diligent , to entertaine peace amongst their familie , and to see all things neat and handsome , and to keepe due order & measure . For as the Sunne in the firmament giueth light to all the Regions round about him , Seruants doe rather imitate the workes they see their Masters doe , then the words which they heare them speake . Pro. 29.21 . and by his bright appearing , expelleth the darknes , comforteth & cheareth the world : euen so likewise should housholders labour to banish sin and corrupt religion out of their dwellings , and to be a lanterne of godly life , to comfort and shine to their whole familie , that so they may direct their liues after their good examples : Phil. 2.15 . Matth. 5.16 . A Master ought so to behaue himselfe with his seruants , that hee bee not too familiar with them , which many times breedeth contempt , but to admonish them often , and therewithall not to discourage them from well doing , not to be too seuere , nor too partiall , but to moderate all by discretion . For like as the Centurion , Luke 7.8 . who had many seruants vnder his authoritie , and they were all at his becke and Commaundement , most readie to obey him , in any thing that hee set them about , and this good order and submission hee had brought them vnto , by the reason that his said seruants were deare vnto him : that is , hee made a speciall reckoning of them , and was as a father vnto them : so likewise all masters are in conscience bound to esteeme and account well of their seruants , and to vse their authoritie that they haue ouer them , mildly and christianly : and then if their seruants doe perceiue that they are deare vnto their masters , Ephes. 6.9 . so may the masters in time worke them like waxe to their owne minde : except they be such as haue sold themselues to worke wickednesse . It is very conuenient that a master of a familie should so dispose and order his affaires and busines , that he depart & absent himselfe from home , as little us may bee : for it is an olde saying and a true , That the eye of the master doth make the horse fat , and the ground fertile : for al things are wel and fitly done when the master is present . Such house-keepers as haue much , and yet spend little , are called niggards : and they that haue little , and yet spend much , are holden fooles , spend-thrifts , and prodigall wasters : and therefore they ought to liue in such sort , that they be not noted mizers for their keeping , either prodigall for their spending . The couetous miserable niggard passeth great toyle and trauels in gathering of his riches : danger in keeping them : law in defending them : and torment in departing from them . But a wise man is not carefull so much for riches , and how to liue long ; as to liue well , and die well . Some householders are so pinching and sparing , both towards themselues and their neighbours , that although they haue much wealth , yet they cannot find in their hearts to take part in any frugal and good measure of those transitorie blessings , which God in mercie hath giuen them : but feed grosly and very niggardly , and clothe themselues very meanly : keeping a beggerly house , so that ( as the common prouerbe is ) a man may as soone breake his necke , as his fast . So that the state of such a worldling and couetous rich man is most miserable , to whom God hath bountifully bestowed great wealth vpon , and yet hath not the grace to vse his riches well , both to his owne comfort , and also to the good of his neighbour : but heapeth vp riches ( as the Psalmist saith ) and cannot tell who shall gather them . Psal. 39.6 . This sheweth , that it is the plague of God that befalleth vpon such a miserable couetous worldling , when he hath plentie of al things , The couetous man in gaining riches , loseth himselfe . and yet wanteth a liberall heart to imploy and vse them rightly . And therefore the holy Ghost , in the book of the Preacher , is not content once or twise to finde fault , and to checke this as a great vanitie and abuse , but speaketh of it fiue sundrie times : where in one place he there saith : There is an euill which I saw vnder the sunne , and it is much among men : A man to whom God hath giuen riches , and treasure , and honour , and he wanteth nothing for his soule of all that it desireth : but God giueth him no power to eate thereof : but a strange man shall eate it vp : this is vanitie , and this is an euill sicknes . Eccl. 2.24 . and 3.12.13.22 . and 5.17 . and 6.1.2 . and 8.15 .

Such masters and mistresses as would haue their necessarie affaires & businesses dispatched well , and in due time , That which thou canst doe conueniently thy selfe , commit it not to another . may not alwaies trust to the doing thereof by their seruants : but they must either see it done , or rather dispatch it themselues , if it be such a thing and businesse as they can and may well do . For such a lowlines is alwaies ioyned with the feare of God , that they that are humbled with religion , ( though honourable and worshipfull in calling ) do not think themselues too good to do any good thing . Gen. 9.20 .

This vndoubtedly is a thing greatly to be wished for : namely , Masters ought to make good choise of their seruants . that all christian masters and householders , ( when they go about to hire any seruants ) that then they would be no lesse carefull and inquisitiue of their honestie , godly conuersation , and how they haue profited in the knowledge of God his religion , as they bee to inquire and know what they can do , and what skill and cunning they haue in that Art or Science which they professe , or els what qualities they haue : and so doing , no doubt ( they being carefull to hire religious and godly seruants ) their worke and businesses , that such seruants shall take in hand , the Lord will much better prosper , & giue good successe vnto , then otherwise if they shall hire and entertaine irreligious and prophane seruants : as may plainly appeare by the example of Iacob and Joseph , two religious and faithfull seruants , Gen. 30.26.27 . &c. and 29.2.3 4.5.6.23.23 . Esay . 6.6 . It is a rare thing for a master to bring his seruant to be godly , who is not godly himselfe . whose masters and their substance was blessed , increased , and multiplied for their sakes . As householders ought to haue care ouer the bodies of their seruants : so much more ouer their soules . One compareth the master of the house to the Seraphin , which came and kindled the Prophets zeale : so he should goe from wife to seruants , and from seruants to children , and kindle them in the zeale of God , longing to teach and vtter his knowledge , as a Nurse to emptie her breasts .

It is lamentable to think , how that al masters , for the most part , not only such as are prophane and ignorant themselues : but also some that would bee counted great professors , and would seeme to haue great knowledge : yea ( and with griefe may it bee spoken ) some preachers also that haue had seruants dwelling with them 3. or 4. yeares , or moe , who as they were ignorant in the grounds & principles of Christian religion , when they came first into their seruice , so they went from them as ignorant therein , as they came : and all for want of catechising , being a principall dutie , which not only Ministers , but also al christian masters in conscience are bound to performe to their families . But of this matter I haue sufficiently intreated of in my last edition of the Vse and necessitie of catechising : and therfore I will of purpose here omit to speake of it .

Another saith , that a master in his familie hath all the offices of Christ : for hee must rule , and teach , and pray : rule like a King , Reuel. 5.10 . Act. 16.31.33 . and 18.8 . 1. Cor. 1.16 . Luke . 22.32 . and teach like a Prophet , and pray like a Priest . To shew how a godly man should behaue himselfe in his household : when the holy Ghost speaketh of the conuersion of any house-keeper , commonly he saith : That the man beleeued , with all his household . As Peter being conuerted , must conuert his brethren : so the master being a Protestant and a good christian , must indeuour by al good meanes , that his seruants may be such . For therefore God said , that he would not hide his counsell from Abraham , because hee would teach his familie . And surely al dutie of seruants , Gen. 18.17.19 . which is not done of conscience , is but eye seruice , and faileth at most need : as Ziba betrayed his master , when he should haue defended him . 2. Sam. 16.1 , 2 , 3 , 4. Phil. 11.12.16 . Therefore before Onesimus was conuerted , Paul said he was an vnprofitable seruant : but when he was conuerted , he calleth him more then a seruant : because such a seruant is better then many seruants . Gen. 2. Though Laban was wicked himselfe , yet he reioyced that Iacob his seruant was godly , because God blessed him the better for him . Ioshua saith , I and my household will serue the Lord : Iosu. 24.15 . Shewing that masters should receiue none into their houses , but whom they can gouerne , as Ioshua did : and if any haue crept into their doores , then they must put him forth againe : for Dauid saith , I will not suffer a lyar to stay in my house . He saith not , a swearer , Psal. 10.6.7 . nor a theefe , but a lyar : as if he should say , I will rid him out of my doores , They must keepe no idle , prophane , superstitious , nor disordered seruants in their house . Act. 10.2 . Luke . 2.41 . before he bee a swearer , and a theefe : for a lyar will grow to a swearer and a theefe in a day , as a dicer groweth to a begger in a night . Therefore it is noted of Cornelius , that he himselfe feared God , with all his household . This is reported also of Ioseph and Mary for an example , that they went vp euery yeare , with all their families , to worship at Ierusalem , that their children & their seruants might learne to know God as well as they . These examples bee written for householders , as others are for Magistrates & Ministers , and Souldiers , that no calling might seeke further then the Scriptures for instruction . Wherfore , as you are masters now , and they your seruants , instruct them , and traine them , as if you would shew what masters your seruants shuld be hereafter .

Next vnto seruants labours and instruction , must bee considered their corrections . As Paul saith , Ephes. 6.4 . Fathers , prouoke not your children to wrath : so we may say , Masters and Mistresses , prouoke not your seruants to wrath : that is , vse such reproofes , and such corrections , that you doe not prouoke them , but moue them , that you do not exasperate them , but win them : for reuiling & reprochfull words , and immoderate fiercenes , doth much more hurt then good . And therfore the law of God did charge the master , that hee should not inflict aboue fortie stripes vpon his seruant , Deut. 25.2.3 . least hee should seeme despised in his eyes . For while a childe , or scholler , or seruant , doth thinke that he is reproued for loue , or beaten with reason , it makes him think of his fault , and is ashamed : but when hee seeth that he is rebuked with curses , and beaten with staues , as though he were hated like a dogge , his heart is hardned against the man which correcteth him , and the fault for the which he is corrected , and after hee becommeth desperate , like a horse which turneth vpon the striker : and therefore let masters know , that God euen then chides them , whensoeuer they fight or chide in such rage . For though there bee a fault , yet some things must be dissembled and winked at : and some things must bee forgiuen , and some punished with a looke : for he which takes the forfeit of euery offence , shall neuer be in any rest , but vexe himselfe more then his seruant .

But aboue all , we thinke the charitie and tender affection of masters , Masters ought to haue a tender care of their seruants in their sicknesse . and loue of seruants to their fellowes in their sicknesse , is especially to be vsed and shewed : at which time the sick are to bee seuerally lodged from the whole , and to be cherished and nourished with more choise and daintie meate . For the performance & care of this dutie , Matth. 8.5.6 . Luk. 7.1 . the Centurion is commended in the Gospell , which dutie very vnchristianly is neglected of many masters . The master of the house should not disdaine , or shew himselfe so scornfull or vnkinde , as not to visit his sicke seruant : for if brute beasts reioyce to see their masters cherish & feed them , as we may daily see in dogs : how much more may we beleeue , that men & reasonable creatures are much delighted and comforted therewith ? Whereupon it comes to passe , that good and faithfull seruants , liking and affecting of their masters , vnderstand them at a becke , and obey them at a winke of the eye , or bent of the brow , not as a water-spaniell , but as the hand is sturred to obey the mind , so prompt and readie is the dutifull seruant to obey his louing and kind master . For as the hand is said to bee the instrument of instruments , being it ( indeed ) that serues to feed , apparell , and keep cleane the rest of the limmes , and parts of the body , which are also called instruments : so is the seruant said to be an instrument of instruments , because he keepeth all the instruments of household occupied , not only to liue , but to liue well , wherein he differeth from all the other instruments . For where they are things without soule , hee is diuinely enriched with a soule , and herein differeth from the hand , for that the hand is fastned & vnited to the bodie , but hee is separate and disioyned from his master , and is also different from Artificers : for Artificers are instruments of those things which properly they call workmanship : but the seruant is instrument of the action , which also is distinguished from workmanship . So that the seruant , if you will rightly vnderstand him , is , a liuely and seuerall instrument of action .

It is very meete and conuenient , that the Mistresse or Dame , The wiues behauiour with seruants . doe not make her selfe too familiar with her seruants , or household folks , least they should be too bold to talke , to ieast , or vnreuerently and vnmannerly to behaue themselues towards her , and so modestly and wisely to beare her selfe among her seruants , that they may feare , reuerence , and so stand in awe of her as the Mistresse and mother of the house .

And as it is not comely or beseeming , The master must correct his men , and the mistresse her maides . that the wife should take vpon her to rule & correct the men-seruants : so likewise it is not comelie or meet that the husband should meddle with the punishing or chastising of the maid-seruants : so that it is most meete and acceptable to the offender , that the master should correct the men , and the mistresse her maides : for a mans nature scorneth and disdaineth to be be beaten of a woman : and a maides nature is corrupted with the stripes of a man . Therefore we reade , that Abraham would not meddle with his maid , but committed her to his wife , and said : Doe with her as it pleaseth thee . As if he should say , It belongeth not to me , but to thee . And these are the duties which masters must performe in their life time . All which must be shut vp , with setting order for all things at their death , with especiall exhortations and prayers for religion , for vprightnesse in their callings , for peace and order after them , according to the example of Hezechiah , Dauid , and of Iacob , and of Ioseph : Esay . 38.1 . 1. King . 2.12 . and Gen. 47.29.30 . and 49.29 . So that it is the dutie of Christian masters to haue a care , not onely that their families bee well and christianly gouerned while they liue : but also that after their death , loue , peace , quietnes , and good order may bee continued in their posteritie .

The Seruants dutie towards their Masters .

A seruant is he that hath a master , and is not his own man , or els he that is at the becke and commandement of an other . Rom. 6.16 . 2. Pet. 2.19 . Ioh. 8.34 . THis dutie consisteth on 3. poynts : First , that seruants and prentices doe from their hearts , cheerefully , and willingly performe the labors and workes , that their masters , mistresses , or dames , shall commaund them .

2. Secondly , that they be faithfull in things committed to them by their masters , mistresses and dames , that so they may keep their goods .

3. Thirdly , that they bee carefull to obserue the vprightnes of maners , that the wife , the sons and daughters , or other fellow seruants , be not corrupted by their bad counsels , or lewd behauiour .

Eph. 6.5.6.7.8 . Colos. 3.22.23.24 . Tit. 2.9.10 . 1. Pet. 2.18.19.20.21 . These points are plainly proued by these places of Scripture quoted in the margine , whereby seruants are straightly charged , reuerently , and faithfully to obey their bodily masters , mistresses , and dames , in all things which maybe done without offence to God . And this obedience and seruice must be done with feare and trembling , in singlenes of heart , as vnto Christ , 1. Tim. 6.1.2 . Luk. 17.7.8.9 . being moued with a reuerence to God ward , as though they serued God himselfe , and that as well in the absence of their masters , mistresses , or dames , as in their presence : not constrainedly , as it were forced or compelled thereto , but heartily and with good will , as the will of God , and as they that serue the Lord , and not men : not onely in respect of the earthly reward , but because they know , and are assured , that of the Lord they shall receiue the reward of inheritance , in as much as they serue the Lord Christ . So that hereby all godly seruants , may in few words learne what dutie they owe to their masters , mistresses , and dames : namely , to loue them , and to be affectioned towards them , 2. King . 5.13 . The propertie of a good seruant . as a dutifull childe is to his father : to bee reuerent and lowly to them in all their words and gestures , to suffer and forbeare them , to obey with readie and willing mindes all their lawfull and reasonable commaundements , to feare them , and to bee loth to displease them , to be faithfull and trustie to them and theirs , in deedes and promises , to be diligent and seruiceable , to speake cheerefully , to answere discreetlie , not ouer boldly to dallie with their masters wife , daughters , or maidens : to bee loyall and dutifull to their masters , mistresses , and dames : as Jacob was towards Laban , Gen. 30.27.28.29.30 . and 39.5 . &c. and Ioseph towards Potipher . And they must carefullie indeuour to doe and procure , to the vttermost of their abilitie , that which may be to their masters , mistresses , and dames honestie , credit , and profit , and that as well when they are absent and out of sight , as when they bee present and looke on . This is a qualitie and propertie belonging to euery good seruant , both men and maides : to wit , that whatsoeuer goods or necessaries of their masters , mistresses or dames , they shall haue charge of , and is committed to their trust and keeping , that they carefully see such things so well and orderly placed , & layd vp , that if there shall be at any time any iust occasion to vse any necessarie in their custodie : yea , if it be in the night season , and that without a light , they then not onely can say , in such a place it lieth , but also if they bee required , they can presently fetch the same .

Seruants must take heede that they doe not wittingly and willingly anger or displease their masters , mistresses , or dames : which if they do , then they ought incontinent and forthwith to reconcile themselues vnto them , and to aske them forgiuenes . They must also forbeare them , and suffer their angrie and hastie words , and in no wise to answere againe spightfully or scornfully , neither yet vpon any such occasion to run away . For the Angell taught and willed Hagar the seruant of Sarah , when she fled from he● mistresse , Gen. 16.7.8.9 . that she should returne and humble her self vnder the hands of her mistresse . So did Saint Paul make agreement betwixt Onesimus a vagabond and theeuish seruant , Phil. 10. &c. and sent him againe to his master Philemon , from whom he was fled away . Seruants and prentices therfore , according to the rule of Gods word , must patiently bea●e , and forbeare their masters , mistresses , and dames , and doe whatsoeuer lawfull thing they shall command them , not being against a good conscience . How far forth seruants ought to obey their masters . And therefore they must remember , how farre forth they are bound to obey their masters , that is , Vsque ad aras : that is , so farre as a Christian religion suffereth , and so farre forth as they may do it with an vpright conscience : for otherwise , if their masters shall commaund them to do any thing that is vnhonest , vnlawfull , wicked , vniust , or vngodly , then they must in no wise obey it : 1. Sam. 20.28 . &c. and 22.17 . Dan. 3.18 . Act. 4.19 . and 5.29 .

The conditions of a good maid-seruant , are , that she ought to bee carefull , faithfull , patient , neat , and pleasant : that she be cleanly , quicke , and handsome , and of few words : honest in her word , deed , and attire : diligent in a household , and haue skill in washing , baking , brewing , sowing , and spinning , but chiefly in holding her peace .

Seruants must lay apart all euill conditions , pride , vnfaithfulnesse , brawling , murmuring , Ephe. 4.25.29 . lying , swearing , and filthie communication , picking , stealing , and tales telling .

If seruants would carefully mark and learne , and so diligently practise these three short lessons following : so doing ( no doubt ) they might both procure and purchase much quietnesse to themselues , and also winne and get the great good will and liking of their masters , Matth. 8.9 . mistresses , and dames , thereby : First , that they would cheerfully goe when they are bidden . Secondly , that they would come willingly and readily when they be called . And lastly , that they would remember to shut and sparre the doores after them . The neglect and omitting of this last dutie , if such as be house-keepers will carefully obserue it , they shall then finde , that they sustaine both losse and hinderance by it .

Ayde amongst seruants for helpe and case of one another necessarie . And because it sometime hapneth , that one seruant is too much charged with labour and worke , and another of his fellowes hath more ease then worke , one therefore should so helpe another , as wee see by vse in our owne bodies ; when one legge is wearie , we can rest it on the other ; or when the right hand is ouer laboured , wee can ease it with the left : and when entercourse of loue and curtesie entreates and perswades not this fauour and kindnesse amongst them , then should the master himselfe commaund the negligent and loytering seruant , to helpe and ease the wearie , and him that is well imployed and ouer-charged .

Seruants must to the vttermost of their power , seeke the commoditie and benefit of their masters . Againe , seruants are to be admonished and put in minde , that they doe not ( as some doe without all conscience ) make spoyle and hauocke of their masters goods , wittingly , and willingly , neither yet that they suffer any of those thinges that they are put in trust with , through their heedlesnesse and retchlesnesse , to be mard and lost : but specially that they doe not make spoyle and waste of such broken meate as remaineth after their meales , or at other times : which doing is not onely a hinderance to their masters profit , but also a great offence to God , who commaundeth that such broken meate as remaineth , to bee gathered vp and saued , that so nothing bee lost : Iohn . 6.12 . Therefore to conclude , let seruants and prentices , both men and maides , assure themselues , that as they deale and behaue themselues to their Masters , Mistresses , or Dames , and their goods , whilst they are seruants : so likewise the Lord in iustice will cause their seruants to deale and behaue themselues to them , when they shall come to be masters or dames themselues , so punishing sin with sin . Matth. 7.2 . And as religious and godly masters be very warie and circumspect , when they hire & entertaine any seruants into their seruice , that they be such as are godly , honest , and religious , or at least such as wil be tractable and obedient to such good order and godly gouernment , as is , and shall be vsed & exercised daily in their houses : but contrariwise , such masters as be prophane & irreligious , haue no care or regard whom they hire , or receiue into their houses , so they will fit and serue their turne for gaine and profit , though they be neuer so lewd , vicious , or vngodly in word or deede : so likewise , such as are Christian and religious seruants , ought also to be very warie and carefull , that they doe not place themselues with any such masters , as are prophane and wicked , or in such townes and parishes where there wanteth good meanes , and exercises both of preaching and catechising , that so they may daily profit and goe forward in that good course which they haue begun : whereas on the other side , such seruants as are without God , irreligious , and ignorant of the meanes of their saluation , care not where , or with whom they dwell : nay , they will not with their good wils , come to dwell either in that towne , or with those masters , where they shall bee restrained and kept from swearing , dycing , carding , tabling , prophaning of the Lords day , and other such wickednesses : who in thus doing , doe flye from God , and the meanes of their saluation , and so seeke and follow after their owne destruction .

FINIS .