Iyl of braintfords testament Newly compiled. Copland, Robert, fl. 1508-1547. This text is an enriched version of the TCP digital transcription A19317 of text S105071 in the English Short Title Catalog (STC 5730). Textual changes and metadata enrichments aim at making the text more computationally tractable, easier to read, and suitable for network-based collaborative curation by amateur and professional end users from many walks of life. The text has been tokenized and linguistically annotated with MorphAdorner. The annotation includes standard spellings that support the display of a text in a standardized format that preserves archaic forms ('loveth', 'seekest'). Textual changes aim at restoring the text the author or stationer meant to publish. This text has not been fully proofread Approx. 18 KB of XML-encoded text transcribed from 8 1-bit group-IV TIFF page images. EarlyPrint Project Evanston,IL, Notre Dame, IN, St. Louis, MO 2018 A19317 STC 5730 ESTC S105071 99840801 99840801 5335 2240867662

This keyboarded and encoded edition of the work described above is co-owned by the institutions providing financial support to the Early English Books Online Text Creation Partnership. This Phase I text is available for reuse, according to the terms of Creative Commons 0 1.0 Universal . The text can be copied, modified, distributed and performed, even for commercial purposes, all without asking permission.

Early English books online. (EEBO-TCP ; phase 1, no. A19317) Transcribed from: (Early English Books Online ; image set 5335) Images scanned from microfilm: (Early English books, 1475-1640 ; 526:26) Iyl of braintfords testament Newly compiled. Copland, Robert, fl. 1508-1547. [16] p. : ill. By me William Copland, [Imprinted at London : [ca. 1567?]] The author's name, Robert Copland, appears on A2r. In verse. Printer's name from colophon; publication date estimated by STC. Signatures: A-B⁴. Reproduction of the original in the Henry E. Huntington Library and Art Gallery. eng eebo Iyl of braintfords testament. Newly compiled. Copland, Robert, 1567 16 2848 6 0 0 0 0 0 21.07 C The rate of 21.07 defects per 10,000 words puts this text in the C category of texts with between 10 and 35 defects per 10,000 words. 2000-00 Assigned for keying and markup 2001-11 Keyed and coded from ProQuest page images 2002-02 Sampled and proofread 2002-02 Text and markup reviewed and edited 2002-03 Batch review (QC) and XML conversion

Iyl of braintfords Testament . Newly Compiled .

Proface maistris Iyllian with your company I pray you fil you not to much of the mutton I promise you that it is very queisy And or ye be ware wil make your bely button
Take no thought good sir how I shall be fild But come you neer & take parte of our swilling Leue your curtesy I pray you be pyld And couer your head / I be shrew the filling
Prologus of Robert Copland the auctor . AT Brentforde on the west of London Nigh to a place that called is Syon Ther dwelt a widow of a holy sort Honest in substance & full of sport Da●ly she could with pastime and Iests Among her neighbours and her guests She kept an Inne of right good lodging For all estates that thither were comming It chaunced this widow as it is supposed In her sporte and merily disposed After her death for a remembrance Thought to haue some matter of pastance For p●ople to laughe at in such company As are disposed for to talke merily Mingled with many proper scoffes & boords Of sundry tauntes with some me●y wordes The which I haue heard at many seasons Full of pastime with prety reasons For yf any did a thing ouerthwart They saide euer ye shall haue a fart Of Iyll of Brantford for your paine The which laying oft troubled my brayne For I neuer kn●w what the matter was Nor could the meaning bring to passe Till at the last vpon a day I met on Iohn hardlesay A mery felow in ech company Which said Copland thou lookest dry The truthe quod I is as ye say For I drank not of al this day And of a short tale to make an end to the red lyon at the shambles end We went for to drink good ale and as he was telling his tale I offered him for to drink first Copland quoth he art thou a thirst And biddeth me afore the to drink to my iudgement I do think Of Iyll of Brentforde worthy thou art by her bequest to haue a fart And truly now is come to my mynde not long ago how I did finde An olde scrow all ragged and rent beseming it is some mery entent As diuers say that do it reed but gallant toyes ther semes indeed It is Antick , broken / and so raced that all the cheef is clene defaced Take it and I pray the hartely looke theron and if thou espy That it be of any substance of mirth or of honest pastaunce And where thou spiest that it dooth want or where for lack the matter is scant Put to it as is according to the matter in euery thing Keep it with thee , and take sum payne the poore mare shall haue his man again Whan I came home , at leisure My hart not parfitly at pleasure For the losse of a certain freend As God knowes few be to finde For recreation I it toke to pas the time theron to loke And of troth oft in the reding it did stir me to fall on smiling Considering the prety pastime and rydicle order of the rime The couert termes , vnder a mery sence shewing of many the blinde insolence Taunting of things past and to come where as my self was hit with some And for that cause I did intend after this manner to haue it pend Praying all them that mery be if it touch them not to blame me An end of the prologue .
Heere foloweth the preface and Testament of mistres Iyllyen of Braintford THis mery widow mastres Iyllian On a day dysposed ioyfully By any way that I presuppose can Ordeyned a little banket of deinty At the which to bere her company For certaine of her neighbours she sent and for her Curat to be there present Praying him for to bring paper and ynke To write somwhat after her entent She made him cheere of her meat and drink That doon she said , this is mine intent That you as now shall write my testament For I doo feel that age dooth me oppresse Good is to haue all thing in redinesse My neighbours here shall be with you record how I am penitent at this making And whole of minde now thanks to our Lord how be it I haue oft a shrewd shaking Ye shal be pleased for your pain taking yea maistres quod he I am your curate I am bound to serue you erly and late Wel than quod she , In dei nomine Amen My soule I ●equeth to our Lord almight He hath it made , it is his owne then he hath it bought , it is his be right In heauen to be in the eternall light and to the earth I bequethe my body It is his owne I can it not deny My sinnes all I commit to the Deuil let him take them with him to hell For he was the causer of all mine euill My goodes to the world of I doo wel For they be his I can it not expell heere I found them , heere they must remain Saue fame & name I leaue nothing certain Now vnto my freends , reason is I should haue a singuler aspect by nature I giue vnto them all that they holde Asmuch as I doo to any creature if they get ought then are they sure After my death yf they do for me I bequethe to them of my charitie But now good sir I pray you for to take This cup of ale and drink ones for Gods sake For I am disposed to ordain a dole to all manner people thorow a hole For I would not haue to ouer much prease Lest that with throng my almes should cease Now ye haue drunk ones good ghostly father I trust for to make an end the rather And write as I doo bid you hardly I bequethe a fart to him that is angry with his freend , and wots not why To him that selleth all his herytage And all his life liueth in seruage I bequethe a fart , for him in his age He that sets by no man , nor none by him And to promotion fain would clim I bequethe a fart , for to make him trim He that wil not lerne , and can doo nothing And with lewd folk , is euer conuersing I bequethe a fart , toward his liuing He that boroweth , without aduantage And euer more renueth in arrerage I bequeath a fart for to lye to gage He that giueth , and keepeth nought at all And by kindenes to pouertie dooth fall Shall haue a fart to help him with all He that is euer wayward at hart And with euery man is ouerthwart For to please him I bequethe a fart He that hath drink in his hand and is dry Bidding him drink first that standeth him by I bequethe a fart his thirst to satisfy He that hath a fa●re wench in bed all night And kisseth her not onse or it be day light Shall haue a fart to clense his eye sight He that lendeth a horse with all things meet and on his own voyage goeth on his feet Shall haue a fart to keep him fro weet He that suffereth all maner of offence and loseth his goods through neglygence Shall haue a fart for a recompence He that taketh a wife and hath nothing and boroweth althing to them belonging I wil a fart toward their offering He that prepareth not for his housholde Against winter , and him self is olde Shall haue a fart , to keep him from colde He that goeth to a feast , to sup or to dine and hath no knife with him , neither course nor fie Shall haue a fart , for to drink with his wine He that boroweth so much , til none wil lend him and swereth so much / til none wil beleeue him Shall haue a fart / for to releeue him He that mourneth for that , he cannot haue and vnpossible to get , that he dooth craue Shall haue a fart / as a foolish knaue He that dooth nothing , but shaue and poll and taketh no thought / to saue his soll Shall haue a fart , his passing bel to toll . A Prentice , or seruant that wil not obay and wil not lerne , but oft run away a fart for his freedome , I doo puruay . He that suffereth his wife to do her lust and seeth that to folly she is ful trust Shall haue a fart , though I should burst . A widdowe that once , hath been in the brake and careth not whome that she dooth take Shall haue a fart , though mine at sake A maid that marrieth , not caring whome And dooth repent whan she commeth home Shall haue a fart to by her a come He that dooth drink euermore and wil not shift to pay therfore Shall haue a fart for to set on his score He that goeth to a fray at the beginning and to a good meale at the latter ending Shall haue a fart for his good attending He that goeth oft where he is not welcome And to his freends house goeth but seldome Shall haue a fart for his good wisdome Maistres Iyll Now holde your hand make a stay there How many farts haue I bequest heere For by my trothe I am almoste wery The Curat . For sooth maistres / heere is foure and twenty Maistres Iyll Nay set in one mo to make a hole quarteron Curat Tel me what , and it shall be doon anon Maistres Iyll Mary he that dooth his wepon lend And hath nothing him self to defend Shall haue a fart , and there an end These I doo bequethe in especiall But as for all the other in generall that are without number shall not be swarued But delt to all such as haue them deserued But tary I pray you all if ye please For I feel me sudenly euil at ease It is a stich , rumbling in my side which dooth greeue me at many a tide I must rest me til the pang be gone For other medisin knowe I none It commeth in manner of a winde That causeth my bely for to grinde I feare it wil turn to a strangury to an vndom , or to a timpany With qualmes & stitches it dooth me torment that all my body is torne and rent I haue a little box ful of diaculum I dare not for nigardship take sum I wisse I am vnwise so for to spare it For I should take therof a fore the fit The Curat . With that she groned as panged with pain griping her bely with her hands twain And lift vp her buttok somwhat a wry and like a handgun , she let a fart fly Maistres Iyll . Ah sira , mary a way the mare the deuil giue thee sorow and care For thou hadst me almoste slain I pray God thou come neuer again The Curat . With that sum laughed / and sum did frown and for shame held their heads down Mistres Iyll Be mery neighbours , much good doo it you I thank God , I am wel eased now Lo there is my greef gon and past I wist wel that it would not long last I pray you all for to be mery I giue it among this company For to make you some cheer with all For I tel you mine executors shall Neuer haue all by God I swere I wil deale while I am here Now and than , where as I list By Christe I tell you , I haue a chest Ful that shall be open while I liue Secretly and openly for to giue I shall haue inough / I wil not them spare As wel for other , as mine owne welfare Whan I am dead they that come after me Shall dele the rest , at their necessitie Therfore as now , this is sufficient As concerning this said Testament To subscribe your names it shall not skil For I make it but a copy of a wil As touching the choyce of mine executours Of my funeralles / and suruciours And other trifles ye shall not take the paines Another time whan it comes in my braines It shall be ordered after such a sort That some shall not take it as a sporte But neighbours I pray you be not angry Because that I am to bolde and homly To keep you heere at my foolish reason Some wil think my wittes be geson But yet I tell you that all this season We haue neither said herely nor treason And if they take it neuer so at harts I wis it is but a bequest of farts Willed to them that with out aduisement Doo that thing where they repent Therfore I wil you no longer trouble What maid , come hither I shrew your neck Bring vs vp shortly a quart of Seck a cuple of Bunnes and set vs some cheese Lo freends , ye shall not all your labour leese I haue as now no better cheer to make you Be mery and welcome , to God I betake you Finis .

The auctor WHen the company was all passed & gon And the curate with maistris Iil alone maistres ꝙ he , if it be your plesance ye know it is the custome & ordinance Of them that write a deed indenture or Bil That it is or right , reson and skil Some recompence of labour for to haue Giue what ye lust , for I wil not craue By our Lady quod she , that is but wel said What Iohan Howe / come hither maid Go call the company again to me For I haue to say / two woords or three Whan they came , she said neighbours I pray you beare record what I doo say I sent for you / for a certain purpose which afore you I did disclose The trueth is so , after the same rate I did send also for maister Curat To write the same my simple Testament Now indeed , as is conuenient He dooth aske for his labour therfore indeed , because he made no bargain before And dooth put it to my conscience Truely this shall he haue for a recompence And because afore hand he knew not my minde he shall not finde me to him vnkinde A fart and a half / I wil giue him no les nor no more this is of my gentlenes For be the woorketh vnknowing what to haue Not half a fart is woorthy for to craue And beside that , a hood full of bels why quod the preest , get I nothing els Than to the deuil , I giue whole fart half & all nay take it thy self , foolish sir hoball Sir Iohn whipdok , sir Iak whipstock Sir Iohn smelsmock , as wise as a woodcok A hedge Curat , with asmuch wit as a Calf To sit so long for a fart and a half But to prooue your braines to be thinner Or euer ye go / pay for your dinner This she railed as her manner was to iest and so without farwel lost her dayly gest Finis . Thus endeth Iyll of Brainfords testament containing xxvi . farts and a half .
An exhortation . My maisters I pray you all that shall reed Or heare this little prety fantasy Passing foorth meryly in it to proceed The manner how for to dele moste egally This half fart , truely for to try That the Curat , for his parte be not denyed Of the fart and the half , and let the rest ly and who shall haue the half among you to be tried In this matter if you doo agree Who shall haue this half fart , say ye ?

Imprinted at London by me William Copland .