O My beloued , why fearest thou , and art so cast downe and disquieted within thy selfe ? dost thou well to bee angry with my chastisements ? and why art thou offended , that I should make thee like to my selfe , causing thee to walke in that way of inward & outward griefes , which I did tread before thee ? why refusest thou to take vp my crosse and follow me , and to taste of that cup which I dranke before thee , and for thee ?

O Lord , giue mee of thy Spirit , and all trouble with thee , or for thee , shal be sweete vnto me : what euer thou didst beare ( O Lord ) it was for me : and if I were so disposed as I should , then would I be content to beare all that thou ( my God ) shouldest please to lay on me . But alas , it is my cursed corruption that makes me think thy crosse my burden . Lord , therfore vphold mee with thy grace , that I may count thy yoke easie , and finde ioy in these sufferings with thee .

I Know the cause of thy griefe and terror to bee the consideration of thy sins : but I pray thee , why lookest thou so to thy sins , that thou lookest not also to my mercies ? why wouldest thou so extoll thy euill deeds , that thou shouldest extenuat my rich mercies ; or in any way compare the one with the other ? was it for thy good deedes that first I entered into friendship with thee ? & thinkest thou now , that for thy euill deeds I will vtterly forsake thee , seeing it is among my praises , that the worke which I begin , I perfect it ? I like it well indeed , to see thee grieued for the sinnes thou hast done against me ; but I would haue thee also comforted in the mercies that I haue shewed thee . Call to minde my workes of old , and what I haue done to thee since thou canst remember : how cared I for thee in thy young and tender yeeres ? Looke backe now & see ; did not the Angel of my presence leade thee , when thou haddest neither wisedome nor strength to gouerne thy selfe ? did I not then begin to acquaint thee with the knowledge & feare of my Name ? canst thou denie now , that my mercy preserued thee from many sins , whereunto thy nature was prone , and ready to haue declined ? and when thou sinnedst , with what long patience haue I wayted thy turning ? & how louingly haue I winked at thy transgressions ? & when I had giuen thee grace to repent of thy sins , and to seeke my fauour & mercy for the sins of thy youth , with a melting heart , & a mourning eie , canst thou denie that I haue filled thy heart with my ioyes , and made thy toung burst out in glorying speeches ? and why then wilt thou not trust in my mercies to the end ?

I Were , O Lord , most vnthankfull , if I should not confesse , that many a time in the multitude of my thoughts thy mercies haue comforted me : but alas , I haue not answered thy louing kindnesse : for after many mercies receiued , I haue sinned against thee , contrary to my light , & my sins are now before me , witnessing that I am vnworthy to taste of the sweetnesse of thy mercy any more .

IS my mercy onely for a day , or for a yeere ? or is it for euer & euer toward those whom I haue made mine in Christ Iesus ? wilt thou restraine my mercies , and limit them within so narrow bounds , as to think they cannot be extended ouer all thy transgressions ? wilt thou measure my mercies with so narrow a span , as to think I haue no more to giue , then thou hast an heart to receiue ? Is it not among my praises , that I am able to doe exceeding abundantly aboue all that my Children can aske or think of me ? Knowest thou not , that as the Heauens are aboue the Earth , so my thoughts are aboue thine ? hast thou not considered that my mercy is aboue all my workes ? how much more then is it aboue thee , who art nothing in comparison of my works ? and if it bee aboue thee , how much more aboue all that thou canst do ? why then wilt thou match thy sins with my mercies ? If require such mercy in my children , that I will haue one of them to forgiue another , not onely seuen times , but seuenty times seuen times : what pitty and compassion and readinesse to forgiue is in my selfe ?

Therefore , my beloued , despaire not for the multitude of thy sins ; but be conforted with my promises of mercy : I haue made them without any exception of time ; For , at what time soeuer a sinner doth repent him of his sins , I haue promised to put away his wickednes out of my remembrance . I haue made them without exception of sins ; for , albeit your sins were as skarlet , they shall be made as white as snow . I haue made them without exception of persons ; for , whosoeuer shal depart from his wicked waies & turne to me , I shall receiue him . Let this threefold vniuersality of my promises sustaine thee , that thy infidelitie contract not my mercies into narrower bounds then I haue extended them .

O My beloued , consider that the cause of thy present vnquietnes , is , because with the one eye , thou lookest to thy sins , & my Fathers iustice : & with the other lookest not to me ; in whome his iustice is satisfied , and thy sins punished already . Tell me ( I pray thee ) thinkest thou to get in thy selfe , and the holines of thy disposition , that which shall exempt thee from the feare of his Iustice ? Or art thou content to seeke it in me ? If in thy selfe thou seekest it , remember what thou art doing : wilt thou haue the Lord bound and obliged to thee ? wilt thou be thine own Sauiour ? or shall it be sayd ▪ his mercy saued thee not ? if no miserie were in thee , whereupon should his mercy be manifested ? and if thy disposition in the earth were such as it should be , then what remaineth , but that the prais of his mercy should fall to the ground ? turne thee therefore to mee , and seeke thy life in mee .

If thou wilt know what is thine : thou art a sinner ; let my praise bee reserued to my selfe , I am thy Sauiour . Esteemest thou that my wounds are ineffectuall ? or that there is no force in my sufferings ? countest thou thy sinnes so deadly , that my merit and vertue cannot cure them ? Will any Phisicion powre out a rare oyntment , either where no need is ; or else , where it cannot profit ? and thinkest thou , that my Father would haue my bloud to be shed in vaine ? If his iustice terrifie thee , remember his iustice was satisfied in mee , and that he pronounceth this sentence himselfe , This is my wel-beloued Son , in whom I am well pleased . I came into the world , not to call the righteous , but sinners to repentance . Tarry not from mee because thou art a sinner , but for that cause come to mee , and I will refresh thee .

O Lord , I know that there is a clensing and reconciling vertue in thy bloud ; that life is in thy death : but still I feare , my sins deserue thou shouldest neither apply thy vertue nor thy merit to me : for , alas , I find that yet the old man is strong and liuely in mee : and that yet the motions of sinne haue power in mee , to bring foorth fruite vnto death .

I Cannot deny , O Lord , but that many times I haue felt the sweetnes of thy heauenly consolations , which haue greatly reioyced my Soule . But alas , my griefe is so much the greater , that by mine owne default I should now be depriued of them : for I haue grieued thy holy Spirit : yea , I haue done what I could to quench him : & therfore it is that the Comforter , who was wont to refresh my soule , is away , nor can I feele his presence with me as before .

BEcause I am not changed , therefore is it that ye , O Sons of Iacob , are not consumed . Many indeed are the changes whereunto ye are subiect , but I remaine the same , & there is no shaddow of alteration with me , I am . 1. 17. Be not therefore afrayd ( O my Wel-beloued ) neyther esteeme thy selfe to be reiected of me , albeit that sometime I hide my face from thee ; al my wayes are mercy and truth to mine . It is for thee , that sometimes I go from thee ; and it is for thee , that againe I returne vnto thee : for if I come , it is for thy consolation , that continuall heauines , through thy manifold temptations , should not oppresse thee . How oft hast thou found this , when thou wert sicke of loue , I haue strengthened thee with the Flagons of my Wine , & comforted thee with my Apples ? My fruit hath beene sweete in thy mouth , & I haue put my left hand vnder thy head , and with my right hand I haue embraced thee , Can . 2.

But lest the greatnesse of my consolations should exalt thee to disdaine thy brother , and offend me , by imputing that to thine owne disposition , which thou hast of my dispensation : I haue againe withdrawne these glorious feelings from thee : giue me the praise that I know best what is expedient for thee . Had my Seruant St. Paul need to be humbled with the buffets of Sathan , lest he should haue been exalted out of measure by the greatnes of his reuelations , & hast not thou need that by thy inward exercises I should hold thee humble ? If my comforts were alwayes present with thee , thou wouldest thinke thy heauen & permanent City were on the earth , & so cease to enquire for a better to come : thou wouldest take the place of thy banishment for thy home ; and the earnest for the principall summe which I haue promised thee . Consider this wisely with thy selfe , that albeit I laugh not alike on thee at all times , & fil thee not alway with my ioyes , yet I alwaies loue thee : for whom I loue , I loue vnto the end . If I close the dore of my Chamber vpon thee , it is not to hold thee out , but to learne thee to knock . If I couer my selfe with many vailes , that thou canst not see a glance of my louing countenance , it is onely to stirre thee vp to seeke me : & if sometime I seeme to goe from thee , it is to prouoke thee to follow me , that thou mayest make haste from the earth to heauen , where thou shalt inioy me without intermission . Was Ioseph so wise , as to conceale his tender affection from his brethren , till he brought them to an humble acknowledging of their sin ? & was he againe so louing , that when hee saw them humbled , his affection was inflamed , & compelled him to reueale himselfe vnto them ? & thinkest thou that I am lesse wise and louing in dealing with mine ?

I gaue at the first , sharpe answeres to the petitions of that Woman of Canaan ▪ & so will I sometimes seeme to deale roughly with those whome I loue , and to be angry euen at their prayers ; but in the end I will make my loue manifest to them , and with my endlesse mercies embrace them .

SVffer me yet once againe ( Lord ) to speake vnto thee , that thou maist answere me , and I shall complaine no more . If we saw that such were our disposition as thy holy word doth require in vs , then should thy comforts reioyce vs : but alas , how far am I from that which I should be ? My strength is enfeebled , therfore do my inordinate affections oft-times ouercharge me . If I turne me to pray , I cannot for the hardnesse of my heart : the contrite spirit , the melting heart , the mourning eie , is gone from me : If I seeke comfort in thy word , I finde it not , I am troubled also with doubtings , armies of feares and sorrowes are against me , & all through weaknes of my Faith : for partly for want of that light that should informe me , my infidelity abuseth me , to think that thy visitations come from thine anger , & causeth me to answere the errours of my conscience , as if they were iust accusations , and partly for want of that apprehending and applying vertue that is in Faith , I am spoyled of the comfort that thy word hath offered vnto me : Therefore , O Lord , haue pittie on the desolate state of my soule .

LEt not ( my beloued ) the consideration of thy wants , defects , and imperfections discourage thee : remember that the measure of Grace which I haue giuen to my Saints vpon earth , I haue called it an earnest-penny , & the first fruits of the Spirit , to tell them , that what euer grace they haue gotten , it is nothing in comparison of that which they wil get . Seeke not therefore that in the earth , which I haue resolued to giue thee no wayes , till thou dost come to heauen : thy blessednes in this life stands not in a sacietie and full inioying of that which thou wouldest haue , but in an hungring and thirsting for it . If I had pronounced them blessed that are now satisfied with righteousnesse , them thy wants might most iustly haue discouraged thee ; but I called them blessed that hunger . If therefore thou dost follow after sanctification , & art weary of the seruitude of thy sin ; If thou doest seeke comfort in my Word , & canst finde none of these at the first , as thou wouldest ; yet remember I haue promised to fulfill the desires of them that feare mee .

If it grieue thee , that thou canst not pray at all times alike , remember that my Children are oft-times euill Iudges of themselues , and that their estate is not alway to be measured according to their feeling , for many prayers may be made in them to me by my Spirit , with sighs and sobs , which they themselues are not able to expresse , yet are knowne to me , and are like loude crying voyces , which I cannot but answere .

O My Soule , content thee with the Lords dispensation , and doubt not , but all thy wants and holy desires shall once be satisfied : remember how carefull thy Sauiour was of those people that followed him . I haue compassion ( saith he ) on this people , because they haue continued with me already three dayes , and haue nothing to eate : I will not let them depart fasting , lest they faint in the way . O most sweete and comfortable speeches ! they seeke not from him , and he is carefull to giue them . If he was so carefull to satisfie their bodily necessities , will he neglect the spirituall necessities of his owne ? They followed him three dayes , and he counteth it a long time ; they are to goe from him , and hee feareth lest they faint . O my distrustfull Soule , wilt thou once learne to trust in the mercy of thy God assuredly ? will he not saciate thee , who seekes him ? will he not answere thee , who cries vnto him ? will he not care for thee who hast waited vpon him , not three dayes , but many yeeres ? & will he let thee faint in following him , who would not let them faint , who were to go from him ? O sweet Sauiour , happy are they who trust in thee . ( Lord ) therefore increase my faith in thee , that nothing be able euer to sunder me from thee .

AS for the weaknes of thy Faith , which I see is the ground of all thy trouble , it proceedeth either from the want of knowledge , or else from the want of application . It is indeede a speciall benefit to haue the minde enlightened with true light . Seeke therefore my light to shine vnto thee by continuall prayer and searching the Scriptures , that thou be not troubled with the error of Conscience , as if it were a iust accusation . I haue set conscience indeed to be a warner vnto thee ; but then shalt thou take heed to her warnings , when they are warranted by my word . If the error of thy conscience terrifie thee in any thing , and make thee think that thy crosses and visitations do come from mine anger , go and informe conscience better by the Word ; remember whom I chastise , I loue : & when I chastise thee , I am not seeking a satisfaction to my iustice : what maruell such thoughts disquiet many ? Consider , I pray thee , that notable promise of mine , made to my seruant Dauid , and in him to all the rest of my Saints . If they breake my statutes , I will visite their transgressions with my rods , yet my louing kindnesse will I not take from them , neither alter my Couenant .

O Word full of comfort ! my Soule , forget it neuer , that euen when his rods are layd on thee , yet his louing kindnesse is not taken from thee ; and though thy transgressions be many , yet will hee not alter his Couenant with thee : remember it ( I say ) that in thy trouble thou giue no more place to these misconceptions of Gods working with thee . As godly Iob thought in his trouble , that the Lord was pursuing him for his sins , and making him to possesse the iniquitie of his youth , which as yet appeares by the course of that Historie , was not the Lords intention : so haue I thought many times , that the heauie hand of the Lord laid on me , had proceeded from his wrath , as if hee had shut vp his tender mercie in displeasure from me for euer but ( Lord ) let thy light abide with me , that I sinne no more with such distrustfull motions against thee : and now ( Lord ) speake on yet further to thy Seruant , for thy comforts haue reioyced my Soule

NOw concerning the weaknesse of thy faith in the apprehension and the application of my promises : remember that I am he who will not breake the bruised Reede , nor quench the smoking flaxe : what smaller thing is there then a graine of mustard-seed ? albeit the measure of thy faith were no more , yet haue I not excluded it from the participation of my promises .

A louing Father will delight to be holden by the hand of his tender Child ; and knowest thou not , that as a father spareth his son , so will the Lord spare them that feare him ? hast thou not read , that although the faith of my seruant Iacob was very weak , as thou maist perceiue by the great feare he conceiued of Esau , yet his weak faith was able to hold me till I blessed him ? Be not therefore discouraged ; for albeit thou canst not lay hold on me with the hand of strong faith , if thou canst but touch the hem of my garment with thy finger , thou shalt draw vertue out of me . Consider also with thy selfe , that the Faith of my children is neuer greater , then when their feeling is weakest , and least perceiued . It is easie for euery one to beleeue in the middest of glorious feelings , and vnspeakeable ioyes ; but when a man can feele no sensible comfort in mee , and yet beleeueth in mee , and waiteth on me for comfort , certainely the Faith of that man is great : and such was the Faith of my seruant , who in his greatest trouble gaue mee this answere , Albeit thou wouldest slay me , O Lord , yet both against sence & feeling will I trust in thee . And did not also that woman of Canaan with inuincible Faith cleaue to my mercy , euen then , when she had no feeling of mercy , and I gaue her no fauourable answer ? for which in the end I called her faith , a great Faith .